#because we don't know enough to know if she's right about the cult thing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

miguels-wifey · 9 months

Text

HIDE AND SEEK

WARNINGS: NSFW, fluff, bit of angst (or a lot, i could be lying)

WORDS: 1.8k

SUMMARY: he usually knows where gabi hides, why doesn't he know today? he isn't your miguel, but you're his y/n.

A/N: my neighbors are arguing, i wrote this at 2:35 am.

“Ay, Dios. Gabi.. where are you, mija?” Miguel looked around the house, playing hide and seek never ended well. Considering that he was the leader of their Spider-Man cult— thing, Gabriella always hid in good places.

“She's right over there, Mig.” you whisper to him as he walks past your bedroom. “Papa! You found me!” she giggled as Miguel took her in his arms. “As much as I love you two, Gabi, baby, you have school tomorrow. It's late, go to bed. Darling, you have work in the morning.” the father-daughter duo huffed in disappointment but reluctantly said goodnight and retreated to their bedrooms.

You peered over at your husband as he sat on the edge of the bed. “What was that back there?” you asked, not a serious question. You were simply asking why he needed you to help find Gabriella. Usually, he would find her pretty quickly. “What do you mean, cariño?” you shrug, brushing off your slight curiosity. “Nevermind, maybe she just hid well today.” you muttered as you flipped through pages of your book. “Okay... Goodnight, mi amor.” your eyes hovered over his wrist. He wasn't wearing it. When you two became started dating, so many years ago, it's funny now that you recall it all. You made him a bracelet with your initials and his— cheesy, you knew it too, but he loved it and wore it till now. The only times he took it off was when he showered, before work and during sex. Always managed to remember to put it on right after work.

“Babe, where's your bracelet?” you were replied with soft snoring by your waist. What has gotten into him? You quietly set down your book and turned off the bedside lamp. “I love you.” you thought you heard Miguel mumble against your skin as he pulled you closer. “I love you too, big guy.” you leaned forward to press a gentle kiss on his forehead.

Miguel has been... more affectionate, no— you couldn't really describe his recent behavior. But you knew his love for you and your daughter didn't change. It felt like he was grasping onto what was left of his life. As if you and Gabi would disappear into thin air. You did. But you don't need to know that. He seemed forgetful. His daily routine seemed out of place to you. He would forget things, or that was what he told you at least. He forgot to take Gabriella to soccer practice after school one day. He never forgets.

“Mierda. Lyla, I need you to pull up the damn anomaly diagnostics. I don't want anything messing up.” Miguel grumbled as a hologram popped up from his watch, “you got it grumpy!” he looked at the diagnostics. Everything was okay. Everything was perfectly fine, just the way things should be. “Thank you.” he took off the watch. He never glitched— for some odd reason, it only happened to the other spiders. Maybe because he went through so many universes to find you, you and Gabi.

“Honey, we're home!” you shouted from the living room, loud enough for him to hear. “Papa! Look what mommy bought for me!” the little girl held out a teddy bear almost taller than her. It had beady eyes and a little bow tie. “That's so cute, mija! Did you thank mama?” she nodded with a huge grin on her face, “it's so fluffy. I love it!” she squealed as she ran to her bedroom.

“Gabi wanted pizza for dinner, sooo we are ordering in. Thank God, I didn't feel like cooking tonight.” you groaned as your smaller frame was engulfed by Miguel's arms. “How was work, Miggy?” his fingers ran through your hair, “boring. No lab explosions today.” you snickered at his words. “That does seem pretty boring,” you say with a click of your tongue. He chuckled as you moved to look at him. “Y'know, your mom said that it was about time Gabi had a little brother or sister.” Miguel's smile grew, “she did?” you hummed, “mhm... although I think she just wants another grandchild.”

Without any further questions, you found yourself laying in bed on your back with your husband's hands gripping onto your waist and your nails digging into his back. “Slow down, Miguel!” you whined as he pounded into you, “I'm sorry–” he catches his breath as his movements slow down, “are you alright? Did I hurt you? I'm sorry- I didn't mean to..” you shook your head. “No, I'm fine. I'm okay, Mig. Still in one piece.” you laughed as you brought your lips to his cheek. “It's not funny, cariño. I'm not laughing.” he pulled out of you and slipped his boxers back on. “My husband usually gets my jokes. Are you sure that you're him?” you joked, not knowing that your little joke would cause him to freak. He froze at your words, “what? What's wrong? Darling?”

“Nothing. Everything is just fine,” perfectly fine.

Nothing was perfectly fine. He wasn't your Miguel, and he knew it. He wouldn't get your little inside jokes, and your suspicions grew, but thankfully, he managed to get past your questions. He tried to get as much information about your universe's Miguel from HQ as he could. He knows that you two went to the same high school, you became friends in college, and then started dating. He proposed 4 years into your relationship. A year later, you got married, and your dress was classy, elegant. “Men wear boring suits you can never depend on one for fashion advice”, you said that in your toast to him. The wedding was on the beach, it was spring. Not summer– you loved summer, but a summer wedding would've been too late into the year.

You were pregnant with Gabi a year and a half after your wedding. The three of you celebrated Gabi's 6th birthday at Chuck E. Cheese, she begged for a birthday there but ended up terrified of the robot rat. Or is he a mouse? You never knew the difference. But, she was so scared of him that she slept in your bedroom that night.

A few months later, your Miguel died. You didn't know. You didn't know he was Spider-Man. He died saving the city. Although it was a sad thing, Miguel couldn't help but take his place. So he took it. He knew you. You were just like his y/n. The only difference was the memories you shared.

“Shit, that's the pizza guy.” you got up from the bed and swiftly put on your clothes. You sprinted over to the front door, paid and thanked the delivery guy, and set the boxes on top of the dining table. “Miguel! Gabi! Dinners here, come on.” you saw them pop out of the hallway and take their spots at the dinner table. “Mommy after I finish eating dinner, can we play Hide and Seek tonight?” Gabriella asked, her little legs swinging back and forth from her chair. “I don't see why not. Who's gonna be the seeker, baby?” Gabi smiles and points at Miguel, “Papa!”

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o’hara x reader #rozie's fics !#miguel o'hara x you #miguel x reader #miguel o'hara #atsv miguel

198 notes · View notes

scoobydoodean · 3 months

Text

DEAN That's another question. Why would you fall? Why would you want to be one of us? ANNA You don't mean that. DEAN I don't? A bunch of -- of miserable bastards... Eating, crapping, confused, afraid. ANNA I don't know. There's loyalty... forgiveness... love.

4.10 "Heaven and Hell"

Very interested in the things Anna lists here first.

Loyalty. Forgiveness. Love.

All the things her life as an angel lacked. Not because angels don't actually have emotions, but because angels exist in a religious cult environment that literally punishes them for thought crimes, where feeling something that doesn't vibe with the rest of the heavenly host is evil because it's what lead to Lucifer's fall, and where disobedience to a single order means death because disobedience was Lucifer's sin.

Anna lists loyalty because her own brothers in arms—her own soldiers she fought in the trenches with for millennia—show up in this very episode to kill her. There's no love, there is no forgiveness, and there is certainly no loyalty.

CASTIEL I'm sorry. ANNA No. You're not. Not really. You don't know the feeling. CASTIEL Still, we have a history. It's just -- ANNA Orders are orders. I know. Just make it quick.

Cas does feel despite Anna's words (they all do. THEY ALL DO) but feeling is forbidden--"orders are orders". Cas isn't allowed. He can't let himself feel this. He has to be a good soldier or else. So all he can offer are meaningless platitudes. Anything more could get him in trouble. So he can't feel. Cas has never let himself feel the full brunt of his emotions... and if he were able to feel truly sorry, and really let himself feel it... he wouldn't do this to her. He'd fight.

We're already getting hints that Cas is close to getting in trouble (Uriel tells Dean that Cas doesn't enter Dean's dreams because Dean is his weakness—Cas likes him). We know he'll actually get in trouble 10 episodes later—get packed off to Bible camp for corrective discipline (after being demoted).

Anna kisses Dean right in front of Cas and Uriel, and it's meant as a defiant "fuck you" and a liberating display of her freedom—the fact that SHE is the only one of them who's really broken out of the mind control enough to allow herself to truly feel it all.

She's doing something forbidden—something many of the angels consider to be dirty—by kissing Dean. She's showing that she gets to feel because she chooses to, and that she regrets nothing about her fall—she'd do it all again. She's making a mockery of Cas in particular by showing him that because she rebelled, she gets to act on emotions Cas is terrified to ever truly touch. She's making a mockery of his claim that he's sorry—that he feels for her. She's saying "THIS is what it is to feel." What Cas feels? It's shame.

#anna #4.10 #pk rewatches spn number ?#in love with humanity #uriel #heaven as a cult #time to think for yourself #castiels moral compass

81 notes · View notes

tarasmithshifts · 4 months

Text

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐑: 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐃 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐓 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟏

𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐑. 2 years😭 𝐀𝐆𝐄. 16-17 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐏: sirius, remus, james, lily, peter, dorcas, marlene, mainly people from gryffindor and ravenclaw

𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒. single (5th to the end of 5th year) TAKEN BAHSDHABHAHDB (summer after 5th year - ongoing)

「 ✦ 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓼 ✦ 」

okay guys.

this is it. THIS SHIFT IS MY ROMAN EMPIRE. i have so many things to tell about this shift 😭😭😭 so let's get started because this one will be looooooooooooong

i shifted for 2 YEARSSSS WHICH IS SO INSANE like, it's my longest shift ever 😭 the shift is taking place since summer before 5th year to the beginning of 7th

「 ✦ 5th year ✦ 」

𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮 - 5𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻

so, as you probably know what happened during 5th year, i'm gonna tell you my scripted timeline.

august - the nightmare in the noble house of black

october - me, james, sirius became illegal animagus

beginning of december - peter became illegal animagus

may- 'the prank' happened

june - snape worst memory (as i read that it happened AFTER the prank)

june- i confessed my feelings to remus

july - sirius ran away to james

august - I ran away to remus, as walburga used crucius on me as a punishment

ＪＵＬＹ＆ＡＵＧＵＳＴ

— ୨୧₊˚ the nightmare in the noble house of black

living in this house wasn't the greatest experience ever 💀 and this summer was literally one of the worst since our beginning of learning in hogwarts. this summer was the first one that walburga used cruciatus on me and sirius. it was kind of torture, also, I hoped that reggie would say something, but he did nothing to stop our parents from doing this shit. ( it wasn't easy, but we still had james, remus, peter to send letters to. during this summer for the first time i thought of running away from this family. but i didn't want to leave regulus, and, even if i run away, where would i go? i didn't have truly anyone, and i didn't want to bother other marauders ( i mean remus especially, he was the closest friend of mine)) she did this because we didn't want to join their lord voldemort kind of cult. sirius and i knew that regulus won't say no to them. we knew that in some time, he''ll become a death eater. as war started in 1970, a lot of muggles where dead, as well as wizards. our parents weren't in voldemort' group, but they were conviced, that voldemort is doing the right thing. before the first day of 5th year, walburga was extra angry. (basically i told her to fuck off of me and sirius. we were abused for years, as this would change anything. we were in gryffindor, i had a friend that was muggle-born, we were friends with potter. nothing would change after their torture on us - emotionally or physically. i mean, this one pissed her off. she locked herself and me in one of the rooms we usually didn't use and you can imagine what happened - this part i have scripted off, as i 'don't remember what happened' i love angst in my drs BUT NOT THIS 💀💀 hell no, i'm not gonna be through more pain) i scripted that sirius knows what happened

ＳＥＰＴＥＭＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ 1st day

in the train me and sirius found a cabin as fast as possible, as i wasn't stron enough to walk around the train after the night before yk

we sat, and i kind of fell asleep?? i mean, i was just so tired that i kept my eyes shut the whole way to hogwarts. ten minutes after james, remus, and peter joined us. i didn't say hi or anything, just nodded my head and said something like 'gentelman' LMAO remus sat in front of me and tried to make some eye contact with me, tried to cheer me up, but i was to tired to react. Sirius also changed during this summer. We were both diffrent. boys saw that, james started to ask some questions like "Are you alright?" "How are you?", but sirius cut them and just said "Please, can we pretend like this is normal first day?" GUYS. AND THEN REMUS MOVED HIS LEG CLOSER TO MINE. as some kind of sign that he's sorry, even tho he didn't know what happened. IT WAS SUCH A CUTE INTERACTION AHHHHHHH

well, nothing really happened this month. we were just joking around, and we took care of remus when there was a full moon coming. lily and I became even clloser this time. She knew that i liked remus A LOT but she tried to stay out of this business (haha, she DID NOT. literally because of her i confessed my feeling for remus before him)

i knew that she didn't like what boys were doing with severus, but i did not say 'stop' when they were doing it. i never truly cared until may and june.

also lily and remus became prefects.

ＯＣＴＯＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ me, james and sirius became illegal animaguses

hello!!!!!! WAKE UPPP it's the month when me and marauders FINALLY became animaguses!!!!!!!!!! HELL YEAH

so basically we of course didn't know if the whole 'let's become and animagus' plan is gonna work. it was truly crazy that we did it. well, we didn't show remus anything at first, because peter didn't turn into one at first (he became one in december). My animagus happened to be a black puma, sirius turned into black dog, and james turned into a fucking stag, which was so hilarious like IMAGINE SEEING A HUGE RED STAG COMING OUT OF YOUR BATHROOM

(my animagus right here) ⤸

this was literally so funny, we couldn't believe it. only peter failed first time, but he eventually turned into animagus in december :))

i mean, during the first few months, nothing really happened. boys where doing pranks, me and lily were doing 'girl stuff' as james called it. i also spent a lot of time with remus, and i liked to do it a lot. we both have similar hobbys, and we just liked to spend time with each other. it was fascinating for me. he was fascinating. after this little intreraction we had back on train, something was diffrent between us. i mean, something weird was going on between us for literal years.

ＮＯＶＥＭＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ mine and sirius' birthday

and here it is. november. it was the time of the year that i tried to figure out how should we convince remus that we became animaguses for him, and that with this 'skill' we want to help him. we knew that he will say no for this idea, but we were determinated. so we started planning how we want to tell him about the whole 'omg remus look, i'm animagus!' thing. in november, james started to look after lily again. he wanted her to notice him, as me & boys knew he was not obsessed, but he was just in love with her, since early age. but i knew that lily doesn't want to has anything to do with him. well, not for now. he wasn't nice for her friend, severus. she cared about him, he was her closest friend, they knew each other even before hogwarts. so i understood why she was mad at james and ignored him.

੭ ME AND SIRIUS TURNED 16!!! we had a party in gryffindor common room, as we always did. every year we had some kind of party, but this one was HUGE. sirius wanted it to be special for both of us, so he invited people from hufflepuff and ravenclaw that we knew. from james and peter i got CDs and t-shirts of my fav band at the time - Fleetwood Mac and ABBA when i asked them how did they get it, they told me that they stole it LMAO sirius got me some perfumes that he knew i liked. BUT REMUS. oh. my. god.

when party was super loud, a lot of people (i mean james, peter nd sirius mainly) were drunk, i was standing by the wall, just drinking coke and talking to lily. then remus came up to us and asked if he can 'kidnap me' i was... kind of shocked. i said 'yes, of course.' so he asked me to close my eyes and he gave me a bandana, that probably belonged to sirius and covered my eyes, and he told me to go after him. he literally HOLD MY HAND and took me out of the common room. i knew it because he told me to 'be careful' and after the whole screams and party noices vanished. for few minutes we were just walking around the castle, when he finally took the bandana off, and told me to open my eyes.

HE. MADE. GODDAMN. PICNIC. ON. AN. ASTRONOMY TOWER.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND? LET ME SAY THIS ONCE AGAIN

HE. MADE. GODDAMN. PICNIC. ON. AN. ASTRONOMY TOWER.

my heart.

he even got this magical vinyl player (i think that in the movie prisoner of azkaban you can see something like this) AND PLAYED DAVID BOWIE

it was SOOOO BEAUTIFUL the weather was perfect, he even tried to apologise me that he didn't have anything else for me, THIS WAS THE BEST PRESENT EVER. we were just sitting, listening to music and eating snacks. IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL, and i can confirm, that THIS WAS THE TIME THAT I WAS SURE THAT I AM IN LOVE WITH REMUS FREAKING LUPIN

ＤＥＣＥＭＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ peter became illegal animagus

christmas time!!! finally!!!

during past like 3,4 months there was a lot of work to do - me and boys became animaguses, school wasn't the best thing too. i liked most of the classes, but herbology was kiling me. i just UGHHH i don't like magical plants ok? i just can't work with plants even in my cr, sooooo it is what it is. for extra classes i took magical theory and study of ancient runes, as i always found it interesting. 5th year is the year when in hogwarts i needed to pass OWLs to get into another year. i wanted to become an auror, so i had a lot of work anyway.

charms and DADA were the easiest classes for me. i even tought peter and james after classes, as sirius was too lazy to do that, and remus was good at it too.

also peter finally became an illegal animagus, so all of us were able to change our form. and finally, we decided how we would tell remus about the whole thing. as a christmas gift (james came up with that and we all thought that this is a good idea)

— ୨୧₊˚ before christmas

CHRISTMAS TIME IS HERE

I LOVE CHRISTMAS AT HOGWARTS it's always so beautiful

me and sirius, as well as remus stayed at hogwarts during christmas.

but before james and peter left, we had a little surprise for remus

we planned the whole thing to be perfect in every detail. we had to do it in secret, of course which was kind of almost impossible. it was christmas time, everyone was giving others present, dormitory was FULL of people, somebody wanted to talk, or somebody wanted to give you presents. lily even locked herself in our dormitory to hide FROM JAMES LMAO

but finally we all got a moment when boys could hide in their dormitory, there transform into animagi and i could go and ask remus if he can go after me. it happened on 16.12.75, two days before full moon.

WELL, HE WAS IN SHOCK.

when we got in, first sirius came out as a black dog, and remus didn't know wth is going on, then peter showed up AND THEN JAMES CAME OUT OF A BATHROOM AS A STAG. i just said "well, we knew that you would protest if we told you, soooo we've done that in secret. we want to help you remus" HE WAS JUST STANDING THERE LIKE THIS 🕴🕴🕴 the only thing he said was "oh my god" then he turned to me and said "you too?" and i nodded. then boys turned into human form and james started talking why we did that, that we want to help remus during full moons, taking care of him and watching on him in shrieking shack. in animal form he wouldn't see human beings in us, just other animals. well, remus didn't like the idea. but we proved our right.

੭ 2 days later, when full moon came, we went after remus to whomping willow, and spent whole night with him. we took care that he wouldn't harm himself like he did before. and guess what? we were right. when he turned bck into a human form, we needed to go back to hogwarts before pomfrey would find us. when we met him at the hospital wing, he said that "on merlin's beard, you were right" and since then, we took turns, one time me and sirius spent time with him, once james and peter, other time just me, once me and james etc. and it was working!

— ୨୧₊˚ christmas

this year me and sirius didn't come back home for christmas, even tho' regulus tried to convince us, we said no. james, peter and lily went home, so me, sirius and remus were entirely alone. from gryffindor only we stayed in hogwarts. but we had fun!!

for christmas i got remus a moon calendar, as i know he didn't have one (i scripted that pomfrey was checking on moons then), so he could be warned about full moons coming. he was still kind of mad about us becoming animagi, but i knew that it wouldn't last long. he knew that no matter what we would help him, even if he said 'no'.

for sirius i contacted andromeda to send me new AC/DC album, so i got him a vinyl :)) (album is called T.N.T. and came out 1 december 1975 if you wonder!)

remus stayed because his father wasn't home anyways, so he just stayed at hogwarts

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ OKAY SO IM HERE TO EXPLAIN SOMETHING ABOUT LUPIN FAMILY LOREEE

okay. about mother of remus (hope lupin) i scripted that yes, she's a muggle, she was an opera singer but died when remus was young boy. about his father - lyall lupin - he was a wizard, i scripted that he was in ravenclaw and worked in ministry of magic at department for the regulation and control of magical creatures, because of that he was usually very busy he left contry even for month, so yup :( and that he died during 1st war. i think that making remus' mother an opera singer was kind of beautiful, later on, during the war he listens to her records at 12 grimmuald place and at home that we live in :)) (i will make a playlist with music that she recorded/operas that she performed in)

okay that's all about his family, i will tell more in another post :))

ANYWAY let's get back!

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

— ୨୧₊˚ new year's eve

during new year's eve, me, sirius and remus went to astronomy tower as may students did, dumbledore told us that we can party and that we can go there, but he hoped we wouldn't do anything stupid. also, severus snape stayed that year at hogwarts, so of course sirius couldn't stop himself from doing something stupid. when he was trying to prank him, me and remus stayed at astronomy tower and looked at the stars, as well as we did back in november <333 we talked about how he should not be mad at us at accept the fact that we are trying to help him, and then we were stuck in some situation that was just... awkward. i mean, he said that he understand us and he knows that he won't stop us... but i mean, i wanted to kiss this man so badly. like GODDAMN HOW MANY MONTHS DO I NEED TO WAIT

it was cute until sirius came back out of nowhere at just stood behind us and said "ok, now kiss" LMAO it was so awkward

but we made it! we made it to 1976... which was CRAZY

ＪＡＮＵＡＲＹ, ＦＥＢＲＵＡＲＹ, ＭＡＲＣＨＡＮＤＡＰＲＩＬ

during these months, we were stuck on studying to OWLs, but what happened was some birthdays and full moons of course.

in january there was first full moon when sirius and peter was around remus when he transformed into a werewolf. sirius and james even made up cover names for us based on our animagi form.

james happened to be prongs, peter was wormtail, sirius was padfoot, i was fang, which i didn't like, but it stayed with me for years, and remus was moony. at first we both didn't like this, but when we started using those names it felt okay. so it stayed like this.

also, in january there was lily's birthday! i got her a silver necklace that she told me she wanted before summer '75, james of course wanted to ask her on a date, she of course said no :( but he still got her flowers and her favourite chocolates from hogsmeade :))

in february, on valentines day, he also was super crazy about her. he was just running around gryffindor common room, not knowing what should he get her, but finally sirius told him to 'calm yourself and try to talk to her like you aren't a psychopath" well, it didn't work either.

i also felt like i want to give something remus for valentines, but i was too scared to do anything 💀💀💀 so i just locked myself in a dormitory and stayed there for whole day, especially day later full moon was there, so remus also stayed for the whole saturday in his dormitory.

in february james and peter stayed with remus during full moon

in march and april nothing really happened, we were just studying for OWLs that were very close, but still james, pter, and sirius got a detention from mcgonagall after they blew up her office 💀💀💀 me and remus stayed out of this kind of business 💀 and thanks to god for that

in march me and james stayed with remus, in april - sirius and peter

ALSOOOO in march remus and james had their birthdays!!!

for remus i got a necklace that was sun-shaped, and i showed him, that i had similar one - but moon-shaped. and guess what HE WORE IT ALL THE TIME, WHENEVER HE COULD. i noticed it after some weeks but still. like, boys were making fun of him because of that, they even called him 'girlypop' LMAO it was funny sometimes, even for remus but some of the times he was so tired of this that he just told them to 'shut up' and then he just went away from them, sometimes to sit with me in common room, sometimes to library.

for james i had mini version of his broom that he owned. it could even fly around the room :)) there was also a party, we did only one but big one :))

AND HERE WE ARE.

ＭＡＹ

ekhm, ekhm, ekhm... prepare yourself

— ୨୧₊˚ the prank

the prank in my dr is... a crazy domino effect

let's start from the beginning, and let's get through this situation as SLOW as possible.

so,

⋆｡°✩┊3 days before the prank

remus felt more pain because of full moon than he ever did. he stayed in bed, because he didn't want to go to pomfrey, he didn't want to show his weakness at that moment. he locked himself from us, but peter found a way throuhj some holes in walls as an animagi.

so we had eyes on him, even when he didn't want us to.

sirius also started acting... diffrently. i noticed that quickly, like, i'm his sister, we are twins 💀 so i notice things like this fast. he planned something. i knew that. but i didn't care, as i thought that this would be another stupid idea by sirius black. how wrong i was...

⋆｡°✩┊day before the prank

remus was with pomfrey that day. we didn't see him, as pomfrey told us not to do, even when james started literally fighting over it, but she still said no.

during the day, when we were after classes, and we were in common room, i couldn't find sirius there. which was weird, 'cause he always sat with boys in dormitory or in common room. i had to return his books before OWLs that had place next day, and he wanted them back. but i didn't find them. also, this full moon me and james should take care of moony during this night, but prongs was getting sick. i knew that he was also tired from learning to pass OWLs, so i offered that only i would go that night. he protested at first, but finally agreeded. i told him to just go to sleep and rest. i mean, my animagi is puma, so i would be okay, i mean, that's what i thought

⋆｡°✩┊the night when the prank happened

everything was okay at first. as usual, i waited for a bit, so pomfrey would take remus to shrieking shack and come back to hogwarts. that's when we went in our animagi form to whomping willow. and that's what i did too. when i got into shrieking shack, moony was already in his werewolf form. it didn't happen often. i mean, usually we got couple more minutes before he transform. but it didn't happen that day. i felt that he was nervous, even angry at some point, more than usual. so i just got into my sleeping position, and even fell asleep. at first remus was fighting himself, but stopped very quickly. he was calm, layed in the floor. when we were both laying down, after like an hour?? maybe?? something happened. moony suddenly raised his head. but i felt the same thing as he did. someone was outside. i thought it was james, so i stood up and just walked to the spot where i could see the person that was at the time walking down the stairs.

everything happened in seconds.

when i saw severus snape standing at the door, in a milisecond remus stood up and i knew what would happen next. he wanted to atack snape. i felt how he got angry. why didn't severu ran? but when i saw remus getting ready to jump to him, i didn't think twice. i turned into my human form again, and in a blink of an eye i was standing between moony and severus. BUT HE WAS STILL STANDING THERE. like why didn't he run?? i shouted to him, to go find somebody, dumbledore, mcgonagall, or pomfrey, but he was still standing there, too scared to even move an inch. then remus attacked us. i used basic spell to get rid of him for a second, but i knew that it made him angry even more. i shouted 'go' to severus. it finally moved him, and he ran away. i hoped that he would get somebody before something happens.

he attacked me more aggressively, than before. i didn't want to use more hard spells, 'cause i knew that i would hurt him. iwould hurt moony. remus.

so i didn't attack. i just casted spells that would help me protect myself, well, it worked 'till he didn't even see the spells. he just ignored them. like i was just, you know, just a girl that was standing on his way for his food. then it happened. he took a swing and his claws landed on my neck and cheek.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ANOTHER EXPLAINATION HEREEEEEE

so, when i first created this dr, as a faceclaimi took sophie thatcher, and it stayed like that BUTTT in first 'design' of me i had scars. scars are beautiful. all of the scars have their own story, through scars you can see what someone was going through. and, well the idea stayed with me. but, i wanted the scars to have history, as every scar have one, yk :) sooooo i scripted that i have scars on the right side of my face, on my cheek. then the right side of my neck, and then, a little bit lower on my right hand, forearm, etc., so, as scripted i needed get those from somewhere... and the prank is one of those situations that when i was creating my first script for this dr, i thought 'hell yes, this is THE moment' so, here we are. with a little bit of angst coming in, let's get going :))

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

so also i just scripted a 'huge pain' etc. out of my dr, so i just felt a scratch, like nothing really happened.

as soon as this happened, somebody came into the shrieking shack. it was dumbledore and pomfrey, and after them i saw james. he was about to help pomfrey to take my out of there. dumbledore tried to calm down moony. i think i kind of fell asleep? passed out or smth? idk , i just woke up in the hospital wing. remus was sitting next to me, asleep. when pomfrey saw that i'm awake, she came and gave me some meds, she asked how do i feel and told me what happened, even tho i remembered. she also told that remus refused to move from hospital wing untill i woke up :((

when he finally woke up, i said something that was suppose to be 'hey' but sounded more like 'ghrb', LMAO that's bc wounds on my neck. but, it quickly vanished

well... and now the rollarcoaster is coming.

he said, that sirius told severus about whomping willow and the spell that you cast to go to shrieking shack. what he didn't know was that i was alone there. that james stayed in the dormitory for night. it was around midnight when sirius woke james up and started mumbling something like 'why are you here', 'isn't it your turn today?' james started to try to calm sirius down, he waken up peter too. they started talking with him, about what happened, when he finally said that he told severus about remus, james panicked. 'he just shouted something like 'tara is there. alone' sirius looked as if he had seen a ghost. when james left the dormitory, he went to pomfrey to wake her up. when he was on his way, he bumped into severus. both of them was going for someone. severus went to dumbledore, and james to pomfrey. severus stayed in castle, and james went with professors to help them bringing me back to hogwarts. rest of the story i knew.

well, i was in quite shock. SIRIUS. S I R I U S

and i connected the dots too. what he was doing when i couldn't find him.

remus wasn't looking at me when he spoke. and when he spoke again, he also wasn't looking.

teachers didn't know that we were animagis, so james lied to dumbledore about how did i end up there. that i figured out about sirius' plan before boys. and that i went there alone. james told that version to severus and other marauders. also remus.

i was kind of getting ignored by him? i mean, he wasn't looking at him. i was ANNOYED by this. so, even with the 'thing' with my voice, it was better this time. i told him to look at me. he DIDN'T. bro. why the fuck. then i said it again. when he finally looked at me, his eyes were teary. HELL NAH. he literally cried. about what happened. he was BRRRRROKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN. about what happened. he knew what he had done while being in his werewolf form. and he didn't want to look at me because of that. hell. no.

i said, that it's not his fault. that i don't want him to be sorry. and, oh god why, he literally SHOUTED at me 😭 that i have no idea, that he destroyed me, that he almost killed me. that he made me ugly. he literally used that word. UGLY. so i said that he have wounds too. that they are not making him ugly. that he is even more beautiful because of that. so then he just got up and left. GOT UP AND LEFT.

and how am i supposed to react bro. HOW.

in big summary, after him dumbledore came in. he told me that he sent an owl to my parents. he didn't tell the truth tho. he needed to lie about this situation, as also my parents were anti-werewolfes yk. he also told me that 'mr lupin is mad at your brother, and he's ignoring your other friends. he blame himself about what happened. and about what happened to you.' he just told me that he needs to take points from gryffindor, but i shouldn't feel that it's because of me. 'and even mr snape won't say that, he is thankful. you can stay here for some days. poppy will probably force you to stay until the wounds heal.' well, i heard pomfrey say that those wounds will stay with me forever, as scars, but it was okay. as i said scars are BEAUTIFUL and in that moment i knew that. they didn't make me ugly. they didn't destroy me. i was still me. scars only made me more visible. more me.

about my OWLs - i did pass them, dumbledore proposed me another deadline. i left hopsital wing after a week. pomfrey healed my wounds as much as possible, but as she said, these are magical wounds, and they won't vanish from my body. they will stay with me as scars.

ＪＵＮＥ

for two weeks after the prank i still have trouble with speaking, but with potions from pomfrey it . me & marauders passed OWLs, so we are kind of celebrating :))

andddddd here we are

— ୨୧₊˚ i finally confessed my feeling to remus

so let's just go STRAIGHT to this moment 'cause i wanted to share this with you for literal month LMAOOO

okay.

here we go.

everything started after like a month after may accident?? something around that.

remus was still mad at sirius, so was i. i mean, yes, he was my brother, but yes, he did what he did. and he will not run away from that. but after all he literally was stalking me to check if i'm okay, brang me potions from pomfrey, which was very nice from him, and i knew that he had done that because he was kind of stupid LMAO i think you know what i'm talking about. he didn't think about consequences of that :( remus sat separately from us. and in june, i got rid of that, and sat in front of him. he didn't talk to me, didn't even look at me. i was angry of course. he was my best friend, and he just stoped talking to me, because of what sirius had done. at the time my wounds were healed and i didn't wear any bandage or something - it wasn't necessary. and yes, as i said before, i have scars as i meant in the beggining of creating this dr. he wanted to go away, but when he stood up, i thought that maybe we just need to talk face to face, without anybody around us. So i said his name, he stopped for a second. I said something like 'can we talk at the astronomy tower tonight at midnight?' BUT HE DIDN'T EVEN NOD OR SOMETHING. like goddamn, why. but ANYWAY, he just walked away back to dormitory, and i hoped that he will show up (like i do not have it scripted LMAO)

okay so let's move on.

i stayed up all night nd just before midnight i got myself up and went to astronomy tower, hoping that he would be there. HMHMHM GUESS WHAT.

he was there.

he was already there when i came PLSSSSS

he was standing back to me, i didn't see his face or something, so i just stood next to him, and when he like didn't talk, i started explaining to him, that all of this that happened wasn't his fault. (well at some point it was also mine, i didn't defend myself as i could just because i didn't want to hurt him lol) and then i saw that he cried??? LITERALLY CRIED??? so i just shut up and we stayed in silence. AND THEN THERE IS T H I S PART. I LITERALLY SCIPTED ALL OF THIS (as i love that i do not script almost anything that people are saying, it's kind of funny sometimes, but here i scripted THE WHOLE THING WE WERE SAYING LMAO) so basiclly he said: 'I hurted you. The marks humans leave are too often scars. And the worst pain for me is, that i know i did this to you.' AND HERE HE FINALLY LOOKED AT ME. “Pain is temporary, but quitting lasts forever. I do not want you to leave because of that. I need you, remus. I don't care about this. I didn't care and i won't care untill i die. You would've never done that, and you know that. Do not seperate from me please, because this is what could make me feel worse. That you don't want to see me, touch me, speak to me." (i said) and there we stayed silence and i knew what i said. I LITERALLY CONFESSED MY FEELINGS TO HIM. so i kept going with this "You are closer to me than James or Peter, you know that. And i think i..." (here was a dramatic pause ofc lmao) "I think i feel something diffrent to you than to them. i don't know how to say this" Basiclly i started to stress and started mumbling, and he was still looking at me. AND THEN THIS HAPPENED.

REMUS FUCKING LUPIN KISSED ME GUYS

LET'S CELEBRATE OMG KJSDFHKJSHFKJSHDFKJDSFBSKDF

he said "You have no idea how i struggled to keep myself away from you."

MY HEART

MY.

HEART.

I AM STILL IN SHOCK OKAY. IT'S BEEN A MONTH AND THIS IS ALL I THINK ABOUT.

(and all of this wouldn't happen without lily, she literally told me 'she'i will kill you if you do not talk to him right now' so i guess she is a mother of this success here)

THE END OF PART 1

ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ ᴠᴇʟᴠᴇᴛ - marauders dr playlist

“ɪ ꜱᴏʟᴇᴍɴʟʏ ꜱᴡᴇᴀʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴜᴘ ᴛᴏ ɴᴏ ɢᴏᴏᴅ.” - my little mixtape

'ᴍʏ ᴍᴜᴍ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴀɴ ᴏᴘᴇʀᴀ ꜱɪɴɢᴇʀ, ʏᴀ ᴋɴᴏᴡ?' - hope lupin

ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ ᴠᴇʟᴠᴇᴛ - pinterest board

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

WRITING THIS WAS A TORTUREEEEEEEEEEE it took me whole month i'm so sorry that i update it rn. i also need to edit this because i made a lot of mistakes LMAO, so pls don't come after me if i misspelled some words or changed from past to present lmao

but yup. Part 2 will come sooner i promise <3

#yup guys stay tuned #(i need to go back there RIGHT NOW)#reality shifting #shifting #desired reality #quantum jumping #shifting community #reality shifter #shifting realities

59 notes · View notes

yellowocaballero · 8 months

Text

ORV Characters Ranked by Least to Most Likely to Commit White Collar Crime

You guys said you wanted my ORV takes, and I try not to say things unsolicited, so I'll drop the good meta-analysis and literary criticism that I'm known for. For comedy purposes please pretend that ORV is American.

Omniscent Reader's Viewpoint characters broken down by likelihood to commit white collar crime, least to most:

Lee Hyeonseong: he's convinced that he's never committed a crime in his life. Intentionally, of course not. Unintentionally, he takes shopping for groceries extremely seriously, and is sometimes so wrapped up in the fruit inspection experience that he'll leave without paying. Due to his innocent face, bulk, and sheer confidence, he's never caught. In an economically thrifty maneuver, KDJ always sends him on snack runs for parties and texts him math problems while he's there. He insists it's like couponing. It's not couponing.

Jeong Huiwon: similarly, of course she would never choose to commit a crime. Also similarly, when KDJ says, 'Hey, wanna commit a crime?' she always participates. Since the crime is normally targeted at rich people, KDJ can usually morally justify it to her. She calls this harm reduction. It's not harm reduction.

Lee Jihye: would love to commit a crime in theory, almost never in practice. She has an idealized image in her mind of the ideal high school experience and it involves grand theft auto. However, the worst she ever gets is breaking & entering and trespassing, mostly because she didn't stop to wonder if the building was abandoned or not. She can't even shoplift from Claire's.

Shin Yuseung: the kind of kid who sets the dissection frogs in the school laboratory free. Looks up illegal exotic animal trading on the deepweb and sighs in longing. But exotic pet trading isn't very Animal Rights of her, so she just leaks information to the CIA and busts the rings. Lee Gilyeong convinces her to track down shady sellers on Craigslist and bust their kneecaps. Neither of them view this as significantly different from the dissection frog liberation. KDJ gets her a rescued exotic cat for her birthday as a reward.

Lee Gilyeong: self-explanatory.

Han Suyeong: she's been pirating media since she was eleven and has never stopped. World-class expert in pirating everything. She's the unsung hero who rips the CDs and games and puts them online. Runs the pirating websites. Has never paid for a webnovel or manwha or manga in her life. Despite this, she insists that pirating books is immoral and that people should support small authors. The FBI knows she exists and has been trying to catch her for years. She brags about this constantly.

Yoo Sangah: has committed tax fraud before, will commit tax fraud tomorrow, is currently committing tax fraud. Embezzles her company's embezzlement. Insists that she's only committing victimless crimes, mainly because she doesn't view business executives as people. Her ability to evade the IRS is mythological and it's how KDJ got a crush on her.

Yoo Junghyeok: does not understand adult life well enough to knowingly commit any sort of white collar crime. He is this high on the list because he enables and helps KDJ in literally everything he does, especially using his clout as an influencer. This is because KDJ has convinced him that these things aren't crimes, and he doesn't understand adult life well enough to figure it out.

Kim Dokja: has done every white collar crime under the sun. I can't emphasize enough how much crime he does. He's currently blackmailing SYS's college tuition out of a US Senator. HSY makes the shell companies and launders so much money with him. Alternates between running a pyramid scheme and a ponzi scheme depending on the month. Started a cult that one time but we don't like to talk about that. Runs the betting ring for YJH's esports games. Fixes the games. YJH does not know he does this, but KDJ splits the profits and Yoo Mia also needs a college tuition so he decides not to think about it too hard. Big into crypto and runs every crypto scam you can possibly think of, which is normally where the the ponzi schemes come in. Steals YJH's identity often. Somehow everything he does is technically legal. The only crime he does not commit is pirating. Exclusively targets the wealthy and ultra-wealthy and has never stolen money from a poor person. Sugar daddies all of his friends and pays all college tuitions. Anonymously yet obviously sponsors huge amounts of money to YJH's Twitch streams, mostly in apology for the ID theft. Would really rather be living a quiet life in a big house with all of his friends, but that big house ain't gonna pay for itself.

#omniscient reader's viewpoint #orv #kim dokja #yjh #kdj #orv is about capitalism and systems of power and how they should be broken #and destroying the narratives of the powerful designed to keep us complacent and infighting and bootlicking #fucking shame how nobody's written a leverage au #'why do people tell stories' hope and love and the human condition :)#but also in order to control people determine their futures determine their fates #and even if the story isn't true you can make it true #like the fbi planting coke in black neighborhoods.#also hugely the capitalist exploitation of the entertainment industry #the chinese sweatshop worker makes the idol merchendise for the tired overworked korean #who works for little pay and no credit and overtime in the outsourced korean animation studios #for american cartoons that depressed americans watch because it offers a sliver of joy in our lives #bc the americans are being exploited by fascists and oligarchs #the korean idol is exploited by their superiors and dehumanized by their fans #i should probably make alla that a. different post jklasdf #anyway that's why they do so much crime fuck the system

119 notes · View notes

fanstuffrantings · 2 months

Text

I follow some people who talk about baldurs gate 3, and the way the fandom almost largely goes out of its way to babygirl everything astarion does while refusing to give the same leniency to the far less evil characters is baffling.

I feel like Gale, Wyll, and Lae'zel are the ones who often make this the most clear. Under the cut.

Whether it's because of the glitch pre console release or just a general refusal to engage with his story, people like to paint this picture of Gale being some Narcissistic abuser who is only ever power hungry. I've seen people try and justify mystra's actions. Now even if Gale was a young adult when Mystra came to him, Mystra is his goddess. She's in charge of the weave. She had so much more power over him, student/teacher and boss/underling relationships are so looked down upon because of that inherent power imbalance. And I think there's also an implication that this is relatively normal for all versions of mystra to do to younger men.

Elminster isn't free of criticism because he actively brought a young Gale to be groomed into becoming a pawn for Mystra. Gale gets discarded by mystra for his seeming ambition and wants to move on, but is also still desperate to please her in anyway he can, and she tells him to kill himself. I don't understand how people go through his plotline and see him believing the only way he's useful is dead and then just assume he's just power hungry. Is he a bit full if himself? Yes. He's a wizard. They're like that. But he's not the worst person in the world, and he's definitely not the one people should claim as the abuser in his relationship with Mystra.

People call Wyll boring, some paint this idea of him being holier than thou/looking down on everyone around him. Since he was 17 Wyll has given his whole life to protecting people and trying to be a hero. He's self sacrificial, thrown out by his father for making a pact he only made to save the city he adores. Wyll talks so much about baldurs gate. He wants to return.

Wyll has his body altered unwillingly for doing the right thing and yet he never once regrets it. He's made into a devil, the creatures so many of the npcs and companions loathe, for his kindness. He's constantly tricked and mocked by Mizora who we know from the game was sent by Zariel to corrupt a good hearted person. Even still, Wyll is a kind and honest man. He's charming and a bit cheesy but that's fine. Wyll can be incredibly self sacrificial and stubborn in his morals, but if you're running around doing mean things to impress Astarion, you can't blame Wyll for not liking your character and judging you. He's a hero of the people, of course he'd stand with them. We also need to remember he got so heavily redone that he has barely 6 hours of in-game content now. Which is abysmal compared to everyone else.

Lae'zel was raised by a cult, a cult that spans all her people where they're taught to bow and serve a lich queen who promises them glory if they're good enough. She can be harsh and unfriendly, but we need to remember she's the one most aware of what the tadpole can do and with that in mind we know she's very desperate to get things done and cure herself. Next to astarion she's the most evil aligned origins companion, and even still so much of that is due to being brainwashed into a certain belief.

Lae'zel in canon is the youngest companion, very early 20s and it often shows. She's a skilled warrior who doesn't see the need for statements that are already obvious. She's been beaten into shape and filled with ideas that unless she's perfect as the creche commands then she is worthless. She's scared and alone in act 1 with people who most likely don't care about it the same way she does. Lae'zel is imperfect like all the other companions, but if you're willing to accept that astarion is soft under all his bluster, why can't you do the same for Lae'zel?

I don't hate Astarion, I liked him a lot my first playthrough, he was my main romance. But the way the fandom ignores that he's definitely evil in act 1 and 2 because "I just don't see him that way", how people act like he's the only character in the cast who was abused when abuse and the cycles of it are the main theme of the game, how people willfully misunderstand his ascension ending and paint it as his good one when the writers state repeatedly it's not, the way the fandom will insult and demean other characters for jabbing at astarion's trauma but applaud him when he does the same exact thing, when they ignored his racism towards gnomes and gur (which is anti Romani racism repackaged). There's also a chance that in his time, Astarion was a corrupt politician, something making his death more complicated but also adding interest to it that a lot of his fans want to ignore to make him pure.

Astarion isn't perfect, none of the companions are. And they're not supposed to be. But his special treatment by fans is becoming so incredibly tiresome to see.

#baldurs gate #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #astarion acunin #molten rambles #wyll ravengard #lae'zel #gale dekarios

50 notes · View notes

casinodove · 1 year

Text

⁺‧₊ CANDLE LIT DINNERS ─ sagau ft. The Tsaritsa .

IN WHICH, hate is a strong word, yet the emotion you felt while having candle lit dinners with her was even stronger.

─ sfw , cws for religious themes, cult au, mild emotional torture, very slight mindbreak mentions, starvation, reader gets served a dead animal as a meal, mentions of gagging n throwing up, implied imprisonment, my girl Tsaritsa goes vampire mode without being a vampire, angst if you squint, light yandere Tsaritsa, sadistic behavior

gn!reader , 2nd person pov , no pronouns mentioned , not proofread so don't be shocked at any mistakes

─ side notes , what's up with me and making actually somewhat nice n gentle characters so rough, sadistic, beyond insane and mean in the most ungodly ways. Also I don't know anything about medical related topics so don't jump me if what I wrote near the end is wrong.

─ YOU STARED DOWN AT YOUR PLATE IN UTTER DISGUST, GRIPPING THE UTENSIL IN YOUR HAND.

Keeping your eyes fixated onto the meal served Infront of you, refusing to meet her piercing gaze from across the long, candle lit table.

Poking the still raw, dead animal with your utensil gingerly, trying to prevent yourself from gagging, the smell of raw meat filled your nostrils, the slight blood seeping out from the meat onto the plate made you overwhelmed with disgust.

Moving it around your plate a few times, you tried to peel some of the stinking, still hairy skin off of the meat

─ "WHY SO SILENT TODAY, YOUR DIVINITY?"

Her voice taunted from across the room, extra hints of sarcasm and snarkiness added onto the "your divinity" part. She knew you were above her, she knew you were the creator of everything, yet she constantly looked down on you as if she was the most important being in the universe, and you were but a lowly peasant.

It irritated you, the sheer disrespect made you want to slap her, no, that was wrong, it made you want to end her pathetic existence.

Slightly lifting your head up to look at her from across the room, you fixated your gaze onto her plate instead, it consisted of meat like yours did and a few more things like vegetable which were irrelevant to you however, the meat was well cooked and seasoned to perfection, the mere sight of it made your mouth water.

And right next to that, a wine glass filled to the brim, which she was holding. What you'd think was some sort of golden wine, was actually your blood. Swishing it around in her gloved hand, showing off the rich liquid, her gaze burned right through you.

It surprised you day by day how the supposed goddess of love could be ever so cruel to you just because she felt like it. How she could sleep at night knowing the torture she was making you endure everyday.

Her plate remained untouched, almost as if taunting you for the fact that you couldn't eat your own meal.

─ "TURNING INTO A PICKY EATER, ARE WE NOW? AH, I WOULDN'T BLAME YOU. PERHAPS I'VE BEEN SPOILING YOU TOO MUCH DURING YOUR STAY, DIVINE ONE."

The sheer irony and venom dripping from her oddly honeyed words made the churning in your stomach worsen. You reached out for the wineglass full of water next to your plate and took one long sip of water, praying to whatever god that may be out there who could save you to do so already, almost breaking the glass in your hand you shakily placed it back onto it's assigned place.

─ THE SOUND OF THE MAIDEN SLIDING HER SEAT BACKWARDS SO SHE'D BE ABLE TO LEAVE WAS PAINFULLY LOUD IN THE MOSTLY EMPTY DINING ROOM.

Immediately lowering your gaze you awaited her retreat, and awaited the gruesome hours you'd have to spend in your bed, unable to sleep due to the grovelling cries of hunger. The pain in your empty stomach had increased from days of not being given even the tiniest bread crumb, the cries of which fell upon deaf ears.

What surprised you was hearing the sound of her heels growing closer to you. Soon enough she stood right next to you, the cold radiating from her body made you shiver thanks to the overly loose clothes you were given which were closer to rags than clothes, you just wanted your old clothes back yet she barated you for liking those clothes and called them disgusting.

She slid your original plate over to the side, knocking over the wine glass in the process, the sharp shards of what was once a quiet expensive looking wineglass scattered onto the carpeted floor.

Putting her still untouched plate Infront of you, the cryo archon nudged you quiet harshly so that you would get the hint. placing clean utensils next to the plate she simply stared at you, emptying her glass of golden blood while analysing your every move.

Your lucky day, you supposed. Grabbing onto the utensils you began to eat, albeit hastily, the fear of starvation loomed over your head like a dark cloud at all times. At the moment, you cared way more about survival than about if she approved of your table manners.

The Tsaritsa turned to the maiden on the other side of your seat whose head was hanging low in respect,

─ "MAIDEN, BE A DOLL AND GET ME A REFILL WILL YOU?"

The maiden nodded and rushed out of the room, closing the door behind her. Not even a few minutes later she returned, empty handed she bowed to the Tsaritsa and explained how her favorite golden blood "wine" was over and that they'd need to refill the barrels.

Hearing her say that practically made you choke on your food, the realization of what you'd have to endure for a few days dawning on you. The refilling process was absolute torture, one of the harbingers, the doctor they called him, would waltz in about every few hours and remove mass amounts of blood from your body. It lasted for up to five days, if the Tsaritsa was feeling a little greedy that is.

The entire time you'd be force fed big amounts of food so as to "produce more blood more quickly" and you'd be weaker than ever, barely staying and awake and feeling paralyzed.

Ofcourse, they wouldn't be sucking too much blood out of you, can't have you too weak you know. All of the blood would be pumped into big barrels deep into the personal wine cellars of her royal highness, her little treasure hidden away from the world.

What surprised you the most however was how affectionate she'd be after the entire process was done, for around two to three days depending on her mood, she'd be very physically intimate, like oddly physically intimate for someone who practically got high on your blood everyday because it made them stronger.

You just wanted your old life back, your friends, your family..

─ YOU JUST WISHED DEATHS CLAWS COULD GRAB AND TAKE HER DOWN IN HER SLEEP.

She made you regret ever even thinking about downloading genshin impact, she made every memory of the gameplay in your mind turn sour. You just wanted to be treated like a person once more, you just wanted to be treated humanely for once.

Was it too much to ask for, especially from the goddess of love? You didn't think so. But, maybe she did. Maybe to her it was hard, maybe to her it was near impossible to treat you like an equal.

─ HER CLAWED FINGERS MADE THEIR WAY TO YOUR CHIN, TURNING IT VIOLENTLY SO AS TO HAVE YOU STARING AT HER. THE SILVER CLAWS ONTO HER FINGERS GRAZED AT YOUR NOW SENSITIVE SKIN.

One dark chuckle left her throat, you wished to be able to cut it open one day, leaning in closer to your face she caressed your cheek slowly, giving you one long lingering stare with those dead blue eyes of hers, you fantasized about gauging them out whenever she did this. She was a cruel monster, a poor excuse of a goddess of love, but really, she was pretty. You'd be lying if you said she wasn't, yet just how much can looks overshadow a person's horrible personality?

To put it simply however, you despised candle lit dinners with her, because always, she'd have you endure something terrible and then give you the smallest ever display of anything close to love and care and await your falling in love with her madly.

Albeit you would never dream of stealing her rightful role, you could handle playing prey for a little longer, or so you hoped.

Pls there needs to be more yandere Tsaritsa content, it's either that either I somehow can't find the portal to yandere Tsaritsa hell

─ casinodove , 20.02.23 .

Do not copy, translate nor rewrite any of my works without explicit permission from me !

#gender neutral reader #sagau brainrot #sagau cult au #sagau x reader #genshin sagau #sagau #yandere genshin impact #yandere x you #yandere x reader #yandere themes #yandere #yandere tsaritsa #yandere fatui #yandere tsaritsa x reader #genshin tsaritsa #yandere genshin x reader #genshin self aware #genshin impact #genshin x reader

214 notes · View notes

a-small-batch-of-dragons · 8 months

Text

Starved

*materializes into existence*

Hey :D

[beware, this is long]

Idk if you're doing prompts rn (if not, that's okay; remember to take care of yourself). But if you are, may I request some Creativitwins h/c? – oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat [i'm not putting the whole req here just cause she LONG]

Read on Ao3

Warnings: starvation, intrusive thoughts, panic attacks, body horror (sort of), nightmares

Pairings: none

Word Count: 4250

For Remus, tending to the nightmare realm is just another chore. Eldritch monstrosities, terrifying landscapes, that's just how it is.

But when a new destination appears one night as he's going about his rounds, well, he has to stop in to investigate. What he finds is a horrifying town that has an almost cult-like relationship with hunger. One of the Sides, clearly, suffers from a particularly terrible strain of intrusive thoughts, but who?

"I mean, it just makes sense, really."

Roman snarls, throwing himself against the invisible barrier, but it shimmers mockingly as he's forced to claw and screech in vain, soundless behind its impassable force. On the other side, close enough that he could reach out and touch him—so close, so fucking close—Remus smiles.

"Of course," Logan says softly, reaching out to cup Remus's face as though he's precious, "the Creativity unbound by the shackles of expectation, what else could we hope for?"

"And the passion!" Patton claps his hands, each one making the barrier thunder against Roman's palms. "Where else are we going to find someone with this much drive and motivation?"

"I know, maybe we'll actually see finished products once in a while," Virgil snickers, playfully elbowing Remus in the ribs as a dagger lodges itself in Roman's side.

He howls in pain, still scrabbling at the wall, but it's no use; Remus isn't even looking at him anymore, no one is, they're all too focused on each other, on how perfect Remus fits in now that they're stopping to look at it, and that's what he wants, that's good, he missed his brother so much, he wants him back, he wants him back, he just wants—he wants—

But he's a fool, and he didn't specify that he's selfish enough to want to keep both things.

And now, as he watches Remus pulled into Patton's arms, as he watches Logan smile gently and ruffle his hair, as he watches Virgil grin and rub his hands together gleefully, as he watches Janus turn to look at him—

Janus stares at him through the barrier, a smirk playing on his lips. But it's not a cruel smirk, not a malicious smile, it's the crooked smile every hero has just as they deliver the last quip of the movie.

"Oh, Roman," he whispers, even as his words ring in Roman's ears, "thank god you don't have a mustache."

Roman wakes up.

He's shaking. He's burning under the sheet. He's panting like he's run for his life. He's frozen. He can't move. Why should he move? The barrier will stop him. Wait, no, that's when he's asleep. He's not asleep anymore. He's not, is he? He's so cold. He's so hot. He's so scared.

God, he's so scared.

But why is he so scared? Is it the fact that Remus was accepted? How awful is he, to be scared of that? To be scared that if they find out how wonderful Remus truly is—and he is, Remus is so, so, so wonderful, he is and Roman loves him—that they'll want to keep Remus and get rid of him? That's awful of him! He's not supposed to be scared of his brother being accepted, he's supposed to look forward to it! He's not—he's not—

He's crying, isn't he? That's why he's still shaking. He's scared. He's scared and he's awful and he's crying, why is he crying? What right does he have to cry? Crying is for people who are hurting and deserve comfort. What comfort does he deserve? Because his Imagination conjured up some horrifying reality for him, so horrifying that he got to watch his brother finally get the love and acceptance he deserves and the natural consequences of it? What right does he have to demand comfort after that? He doesn't. He should stop crying. He should stop. Right now.

Oh, god, he can't stop crying.

He's still hurting. His chest is still burning. Why can't he breathe properly? This is stupid; if he's going to be as selfish and needy as he is, he should at least be breathing properly. He can't pretend to be anything other than helpless, can he, that he would steal the air from others' lungs and then not have the decency to breathe it properly? How cruel of him. How unjust of him. How awful he must be.

He should be locked behind a barrier. He should be pushed far away from everyone else. Then he couldn't hurt them. Then his hurt would only hurt him. Then he could be as messy and needy and selfish as he had to be and he would only cause himself pain. That was right. That was better. He should—he should have—should he have realized this years ago? How awful he is, how much he deserves to be put behind a barrier?

The room is closing in. The walls are getting closer. His bed is shrinking. The blankets are pressing him down into the floor, he can't breathe, he can't breathe, he can't breathe—

He can't hear anything. Oh, god, has it happened already? No, no, he wasn't ready—he was just thinking about it, that didn't mean he wanted to go right now—no, he wants one last chance to say goodbye, he's sorry, he's sorry, he's so sorry—

It's so cold.

***

Remus whistles under his breath as he steers the little rudder on the wooden dinghy, around the desecrated shell of some great eldritch beast. He gives the scale an absentminded pat as he drifts by, resolving to come back and check on it later. Perusing his nightmare gallery never did get old, but as far as dreams went, there were certainly better ones to be had. After all, hardly anyone wants to go to work as soon as they fall asleep.

"Win some, lose some," he remarks to the bear cub sitting in the bottom of the boat next to him. The bear cub growls low in its throat and gnaws on a spare bone. "Atta boy."

As he turns to go back towards the mainland, he catches sight of something rising up out of the water to his left. Looking over, he blinks in surprise to see a skeletal forest framing a new mouth of the river, long and jagged shadows reaching out over the water's surface. Frowning, he steers the boat over there, watching as the trees coalesce to form the silhouette of a starving bear. His bear cub lets out a low snuffling noise and shifts closer to his leg. He rubs its head and frowns as they drift under the bear's snarling mouth.

"Do you know what this is?" The bear cub huffs. "Huh. Me neither."

Surprisingly enough, the river ends at a seemingly normal dock. Well, normal for everyone else, in here, that's a little strange. Crowds mill about, each talking gruffly to their immediate neighbor, and someone throws Remus a small rope to tie off his dinghy. He does, the bear cub lingering close to his heels as he starts to walk into the town. Thankfully, he's not in his costume, but a set of plainclothes that he quickly shuffles around to hide the eldritch goo.

The air swirls with a strange miasma, not quite visible enough to put his finger on, but—there's something here. A feeling, almost, a terrible energy that permeates everything he can see. Most wear some sort of face covering, a scarf pulled up over their mouths, or hats worn so low he can only see glimpses of their chin. Those that don't are haggard, bone-weary, with eyes sunken and pulsating deep within their sockets. He can see what should be market stalls hanging their striped banners, but nothing looks to be on sale.

"Good thinking," he hears a raspy voice to his side, and he turns to see a crew of urchins smirking and huffing at him, "having a cub for you, or you for the cub."

His cub—he looks down to see where the cub should've been only to see it's wandered off, sniffing at something, and now whining and growling as a group of long-fingered strangers inch towards it, their mouths open. He whistles sharply and the cub turns tail and runs back to him, gnawing gently on his pants leg.

"Stay close," he bids under his breath as they keep walking, "I don't know what's going on here."

He keeps walking. The bustling streets fade quickly into tiny alleyways, each blocked off by a different makeshift wall that looks like it's designed to be lifted back and forth, a strange gate of sorts. Big, bulky things, the kind that would take at least two strong people to lift. He glances around at the twig-thin limbs and skeletal muscles he can see of the few people that aren't wearing big coats and proper clothes. As he nears one, he frowns. It's made of what looks to be old hide, bound and lashed together with something, but what could possibly be—

A low moaning and the murmur of a crowd.

He turns again, his cub at his side, looking for the source of the commotion. Down the main street a ways, at the mouth of presumably another alley, he sees a group of people peering at something. With one hand tangled in the fur at the cub's neck, he walks over and shoulders his way in to see what's so fascinating.

His eyes widen.

An old man, an old man, who looks barely alive save for the hysterical zeal in his eyes, is hobbling after something rolling along the ground. Every time he's about to pick it up, one of the men in some sort of uniform comes up and kicks it further away from him. The thing rolls through all manner of filth and still the old man hobbles after it. A sick sort of fascination takes hold of Remus's stomach—he should put a stop to this, shouldn't he?—but he finds himself paralyzed, only able to hold his bear cub close.

As the man continues to hobble, he lets go of his cloak. His ribs stand out starkly, each vertebra of his spine clearly visible, and someone in the crowd quickly snatches it up, hoarding it to their chest as a few squabble for it until the uniformed man barks at them to settle down. The man hobbles on, undeterred.

Another shadow lengthens on the ground.

Remus is one of the few that turn to look.

Another man, tall and whip-thin, with an ashen-gray face and monstrous dignity, walks slowly after the pair. His coat, fasted together with large gold buttons down the length of him, flutters in the breeze as though he would blow away at any moment. His hands, the same ashen color as his face, clasp in front of him. A gold signet ring gleams from his finger.

Who, Remus thinks as he clutches the bear cub, who has the sense to be utterly silent, the fuck do you think you are?

"Do you see," the man whispers, his voice picking through the crowd as a centipede picks through the undergrowth on the forest floor, "how desperate we become if we are slaves to our hunger?"

The man in uniform kicks the thing through a puddle that Remus is going to believe is water. The older man still hobbles after it.

"How low our standards become, how quickly we become nothing but beasts, savage and primitive? And how unhappy we are…" The gold signet ring catches another flash of light. "And we are never sated once we give into the need to feed."

The old man finally catches the thing. It drips and cracks with who knows what and still he shoves it in his mouth as though it were the finest feast in all the land. As the crumbs and sludge drip down his face, Remus realizes that it once might have passed for bread.

"And look," says the man as the old figure lets out a howl of despair, "it is never worth the price it takes to feed it."

For even that short hobble seems to have sapped the last of the life force from the old man's wheezing lungs and he keels over right there, still moaning and twitching as the bread rolls limply away from his hands. The uniformed man stands over the corpse and raises a whistle to his lips.

"We are the masters of our own hunger," drones that fucking whisper as many-limbed shadows materialize from the other end of the alley, "until it becomes master of us."

The crowd turns away in shocked horror as the spider-shadow-demon beasts fall upon the corpse. Remus watches the man impassively observing it, idly toying with that fucking golden ring. Then, as if Remus were invisible, he turns and walks back into the crowd, the beasts scuttling after him.

"So," Remus murmurs to the bear cub who was thankfully too short to see any of that, "that was fucking weird."

This isn't one of his. Obviously, because then he would've known what the fuck to expect. As it stands, he can only drift to a somewhat abandoned corner and stare around, trying to discern who this might belong to.

Hunger, that was clearly a theme here. Starvation, almost, given how little food there seems to be and how everyone keeps looking at his bear cub. But a culturally enforced starvation, given by the weird cult vibes of the creepy dude with the ring—a religious figure, maybe? And some nonsense about being masters of hunger, so clearly there was prestige given to being hungry but not giving into it. Those who outwardly expressed their hunger being shamed—well, shamed and humiliated and executed for it.

The bear cub whimpers and Remus crouches down, letting it snuffle into his neck as he strokes its shoulder. A cart drives by with a fancy-looking crest on one side and he squints to make out 'By the Grace of N. Schaumburg' as it passes.

"That must be creepy dude," he murmurs as the bear cub growls, "yeah? What do we think, who's hungry?"

He looks around again. Despite the fact that it's pretty mild weather, everyone's bundled up as though it were the dead of winter. Those that don't wear thick heavy coats huddle together, shivering, mindless mumbling coming from the groups. If he listens closely enough, he can just make out the words, but they don't make any sense.

The bear cub whuffs and tugs on his sleeve.

"What?"

The cub sniffs at a piece of paper blown closer to them. Remus picks it up. It's a pamphlet of some sort with the same crest, announcing an earlier enforced curfew. On the back is a short verse.

Selfishly feed and forever go hungry.

Free and unshackled by hunger are we.

Feeding the beast is an endless task.

Embrace the hunger and be free at last.

"Free from what," Remus whispers to the cub as he finishes reading, "having a body with needs?"

The cub just whines. Remus rubs its head and pockets the pamphlet, standing up slowly and looking around. Okay, so definitely shame associated with needing to feed, something about trying and failing to sate the hunger only leading to it growing, okay…definitely more guilt flying around here than he'd like but they were raised Catholic, so that's not completely unbelievable…

"You there." The uniformed man from before jerks his head at the cub. "What's with the animal?"

"'S my emotional support bear."

The man frowns. "Your what?"

"Nasty business," Remus says instead, nodding toward where the corpse used to be, "does that happen often in this part of town?"

"Not as often as it used to, population's getting better. Since Schaumburg came out with the pills instead of the rations it's been easier to keep the worst of them down." The man glances behind him. "Still. There'll always be a few of them."

"Is that why the new curfew's been enacted?"

"Well, it always gets worse at night, you know. That's when all the rational thought leaves these people and they start scrabbling about for something to feed on. Makes it easier to manage if they're all already indoors, you see."

Okay, so something about not being around others at night, okay, who do we know that's been skipping out of things lately?

"And I've never seen him around either," Remus says, lowering his voice a bit as he nods toward the direction that creepy dude went off in, "is that normal around here too?"

"Oh, Schaumburg doesn't normally come out—" bingo— "but with all the panic about that cold front last night, well…I guess he thought it was necessary."

Cold front last night, cold front last night…what happened last night?

It was movie night last night. Did someone get freaked out by the movie? But it was The Sea Beast, it had cleared everyone's trigger list, everyone had enjoyed it, was that the problem? Or was it something else?

"Now, you seem like a nice enough man—" Remus tries not to take offense, this seems like a good thing in this case— "so I'll just let you off with a word to the wise: get that bear of yours registered with an approved tag or someone's liable to tear it apart, you hear?"

Remus just nods as the official turns away. He looks down at his cub, who's all but cuddling his leg, and glances around.

Several people hug their cloaks or bags close to their chests. A few more stand so close their arms are near around each other as the carts and wagons drive by. A parent tucks their child into a fold of their coat. He remembers the feeling of being snuggled on the couch and how cold it had been when he got up to get a drink. He pulls out the pamphlet and looks closely at the crest, fingers tracing an upside-down crown with teeth mangling the metal.

As if on cue, he hears Roman scream.

***

Virgil huffs, turning over in bed. Remus must be busy tonight; his mouth's been filled with bitter-tasting grossness all evening. Every now and again he gets this awful roaring emptiness in his stomach and he just wants to sleep. He's almost ready to storm down there and tell him to knock whatever he's doing off, it can wait until tomorrow, when he suddenly hears someone scream.

That's…not what Remus's screams sound like.

***

Remus shakes himself awake, grabs his trusty teddy bear, and sinks right into Roman's room. Immediately he's prying Roman's hands away from his face, letting out these soothing little noises and trying to get his attention.

"Hey, hey, Roro, shh, shh, it's okay, c'mere." Roman gasps and shakes and Remus leans in to kiss his forehead. "Hey, hey, c'mon, Ro-Bro, it's just me. It's just me, hey, can you look at me?"

"Re?"

"Yeah, Roro, it's just me, it's just me. Hey, you're doing so good, can you listen to my voice? Just listen to me, I'm right here, we're in your room, we're safe, you're safe, we're all okay." He nudges the teddy bear into Roman's lap and nuzzles it under Roman's chin. "See? All good."

Roman's hands are shaking and in the distance, Remus hears the echo of Schaumburg's voice. He growls and reaches out, taking Roman's hands and looping them around his neck, pulling his brother into a cuddle.

"Hey, Roro, you stay right here with me. Can you do that? Can you hold onto me?"

"It's so cold, Re—it's so—so cold—"

"Shh, it's okay, you can be warm now. I'm warm, right?"

"You're so warm—how are you so warm—"

"Come steal all my warmth, okay? Come steal all of it, it's all for you, I'm gonna give it to you." Remus tucks Roman's head under his chin and rocks him slightly back and forth. "There, there you go, shh, shh, it's okay, Roro."

"I'm sorry," Roman gasps out and Remus's chest aches, "I'm sorry, I'm awful, I'm so sorry!"

"You're not awful, Roro. Nope, no disagreeing," he says softly as Roman opens his mouth to protest, "you're not awful. You had a really fucked up nightmare and your intrusive thoughts are way too loud but you're not awful."

Roman freezes. "You—you saw it?"

"I didn't see your nightmare, no, but I—your intrusive thoughts made a place in my nightmare realm and I saw that."

"I'm so sorry—"

"Hey," Remus murmurs, pulling him back enough to cup his face and make him look at his eyes, "don't apologize for the shit your brain does, okay? You're safe here with me. I'm gonna be right here, okay? I got you."

To his dismay, Roman's lower lip trembles and big tears bubble at the corners of his eyes again. "B-but I—"

"Roman?" That's Virgil's voice, why the fuck is he—oh, right, panic. "Princey?"

"Hey, shh," Remus soothes as Roman tries to hide in the lea of him, "hey, it's okay. I won't let him hurt you."

"Remus? Is that you?"

"Yeah. What do you want?"

"I heard the scream, I've been feeling his panic—look, I don't wanna shout through the door, can I come in?"

"Can he?" Roman takes a little too long to nod but he does. "Yeah, Virgil, get in here."

Virgil slips through the door and takes one look at Remus hovering protectively over his brother and immediately changes into the softest hoodie and sweatpants he has. He crouches down so it's easier for Roman to look at him and his voice drops to a low rumble.

"Hey, Princey," he says gently as Roman turns to look at him, "seems like you're having a real rough time right now, can I come help?"

"S-sorry."

"It's okay, bud, I'm not mad. You're gonna be okay. I just wanna help."

"I won't let him hurt you," Remus whispers, rubbing his back, "you're safe here."

It takes another long moment, but Roman slowly reaches out a hand and Virgil takes it, letting Roman draw him onto the bed. He joins Remus in rubbing up and down Roman's back, gently carding his fingers through his hair.

"Hey, Princey," he murmurs, still speaking softly, "you have a bad dream? Yeah? You wanna talk about it?"

Roman shakes his head.

"Can I ask Remus what's going on? Yeah? Thanks, bud."

Remus sighs, letting Roman cuddle into him. "He's not been having a good time recently, what with…everything going on. I think Patton and Janus blowing up about selfish stuff got into his head and Logan's whole…deal about rising above what he calls 'base' needs isn't helping."

"…yeah, shit, that sounds—that's not great."

"And, you know, being insulted and belittled every time he opens his mouth isn't helping either," Remus adds, glaring at Virgil as he winces.

"I know. I—fuck."

"Yeah. So be really fucking careful right now."

"Hey, Roman," Virgil calls softly, giving Roman the gentlest shake to get his attention, "hey, Princey, can you look at me for a second?"

Roman's head peeks out and Virgil smiles, reaching out to wipe a tear from his cheek.

"Hey, there, bud. You're okay. Was what Remus said right, are you—is shit a little too much right now?" Roman nods. "You want some reassurance, or do you just want us to be here?"

"'M sorry," Roman mumbles, "'m not—'m not trying to be needy."

"You're not being needy, Princey, you're upset and you want to be comforted. That's not needy."

"Or selfish either," Remus says when fucking Schaumburg starts whispering again, "you're allowed to want things and have them. That's not something to be ashamed of or feel guilty for."

"Shit," he hears Virgil mutter under his breath before there's another set of arms around Roman, "no, Princey, you're not bad for wanting things. Is this—I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner. I shouldn't have left you alone for movie night last night either."

Right. Right, everyone else had cuddled up on the couch and Roman had arrived later when there was no room—fuck, Roro, I'm so sorry.

"It's okay, bud, you're okay. You're okay, you're safe, we're not going anywhere."

"I'm sorry," Roman cries out, hiding his face in the teddy bear, "I'm not—I'm trying, I'm trying, but it's so cold, I'm sorry—"

"Don't be sorry for wanting," Remus scolds lightly, glancing at Virgil who nods and starts gathering the blankets, "you're allowed to want things. And you just had a nightmare, that's an automatic you-get-cuddles-now. We can figure everything else out tomorrow, okay?"

Finally, finally Roman sniffles and looks up at both of them. "You guys really don't mind?"

"Nope!"

"Nah," Virgil says, ruffling his hair, "come cuddle, Princey."

As they all start to get ready to fall back asleep, Remus makes eye contact with Virgil. Virgil nods as Roman starts to doze—poor Roro, he must be so tired—and they close their eyes together.

***

Remus's bear cub growls lightly at Virgil as they reappear in the abandoned corner, but he pats its head. "He's a friend, it's okay."

"Yeesh," Virgil mutters, looking around, "this whole place feels like panic attack, is it always like this?"

"Roman's just really not having a good time right now. Just be glad you weren't here earlier."

"You know what, I'm not even gonna ask." Virgil takes a deep breath and tugs a little on his jacket, glancing around. "So! What's the plan?"

"I'm feeling like some anti-government arson and a side of political assassination, how about you?"

"Let's go start a riot."

The bear cub growls, swelling and growing until it's the size of a nearby wagon and Remus grins.

We gotcha, Roro. Sweet dreams.

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl

#sanders sides #roman sanders #roman angst #virgil sanders #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #dragonbabbles #fic

66 notes · View notes

doctorbunny · 8 months

Text

"For Mahiru's sake"

I have seen some arguements that, yes, if Amane is able to deck Shidou, it would indeed be a skill issue and all that However "we still must vote Amane guilty in order to protect Mahiru"

Ignoring all the things like "subjecting a torture victim to further torture" and "there is no guarantee that another guilty vote would restrain Amane enough to stop her" and "It isn't a case of when or if, Fuuta is literally already implied to be in Amane's cult and he has an inno vote meaning Amane could just ask him to act on her behalf"

I want to object to this on the grounds that Mahiru herself would not approve of it.

Firstly: Why did Mahiru forgive Kotoko? I think many people saw Mahiru forgiving Kotoko and took it at a surface level "Oh such a kind heart poor Mahiru has~" Perhaps some with concern "If she's willing to forgive a woman that almost killed her what else is she willing to put up with?!" I too have shared these concerns for her But I think there is an oft overlooked explanation, one deeper to Mahiru's true nature

"An ideal she can't concede on" It's no secret Kotoko views herself as a vessel for justice, dehumanising herself into a mere tool, Es' "Fang" And to Kotoko, justice can only be delivered in the most visceral, corporal satisfying way So it is completely understandable, that upon being told Mikoto, Mahiru, Fuuta and Amane had commited injustices. Kotoko's only reaction could've been a violent beatdown (until she got stopped by Kazui at least) Why would Mahiru care about that? Because, dear reader, Mahiru too has a belief she cannot concede on

Both Mahiru and Shidou say they'll do anything for love and its likely that conviction that lead them both to MILGRAM Shidou would take the hearts of a million paitents if his wife's would beat again. Mahiru, even after two trials... honestly doesn't have much to say about her boyfriend... But everything she did, she did for love and thus she has no regrets

Mahiru even directly draws a link between herself and Kotoko here.

So why can't Mahiru deny Kotoko's ideals? Because she'd be denying a piece of herself too

And if we're going off Mahiru's logic, she wouldn't want us to permit her ideals whilst denying Amane's

Ok, but, who cares what Mahiru wants, right? Useless weaklings should just shut up and let us protect them! Especially given how fragile Mahiru must be... A concern I've seen a lot is that even if Mahiru isn't the target, if Shidou becomes incapacitated, she'll potentially die too A lot of people voted Mahiru innocent on the basis that another guilty could be fatal to her. Now Mahiru does seem pretty badly injured, and while we don't know the basis of the care Shidou and Yuno are providing, it must be severe to require two round-the-clock carers

Despite this, while Mahiru certainly isn't comfortable, it does seem like physically she is mostly stable. Even without Shidou, Yuno has recently spoken about how out of normality, she can't let someone in front of her die. So she'd probably continue to help keep Mahiru clean and fed even if she can't help with more complicated things (and we know Yuno isn't at risk because Amane talked to her without giving her a big threat about breaking taboo) This is also total speculation on my part, but I have a feeling by the time trial 3 rolls around, Mahiru will still be in her wheelchair heavily injured, but she will have recovered some more of her strength. Wheelchairs can move faster than I can run to begin with (Source: Guy I used to share a class with always beat me in foot/wheel races) but in addition Mahiru could already (with great difficulty and probably with risk of exaccerbating her injury) walk/run to some degree before getting her chair I mean this not to discount her, but to say that she is not entirely without defence/method of evasion should Amane attack Even more speculation-y: After Kazui missed Kotoko's attack last time, I would hope that the prisoners have some sort of Kazui-alert system to ensure he wouldn't be so late to a surprise attack again that could be used if Amane comes after them too

Whilst Jackalope states it was Shidou's treatments that saved Mahiru directly after Kotoko's attacks When it came to Shidou telling Es about the threat to Mahiru's life, the topic was her mental health

Mahiru's innocent verdict will affirm her ideas about love and probably give her some more willpower

Will it be enough to protect her if Amane attacks her? I don't know!

But the sad truth is we are already aboard the pain train. We are trying to play 4D chess with a pigeon determined to knock our favourite pieces off the board. There's a lot of factors we can't account for, Kotoko for example, if voted guilty may not attack anyone or maybe she'll attack Haruka and Muu (or any other guilties) because she still sees them as injustice or maybe she'll attack the innocents because she can no longer trust our judgement of who committed injustice. We can't even confidently say what a T2 guilty looks like yet, so far two prisoners are voted guilty. Haruka is a seemingly bedridden hikikomori meanwhile Muu seems completely unaffected. We have no idea what'll happen with them until it does and how it'll affect the rest of this mess.

The only thing we have power over is a single, overly binary choice: To forgive or not forgive

And personally, I don't think Shidou or Mahiru is worth the continued punishment of a 12 year old. (idk why you're voting though so no offense if you think differnetly but I hope this was a good perspective)

#amane momose #milgram #ミルグラム #rambling

63 notes · View notes

ggomos-maribat · 21 days

Text

Soul-Stitching: The Heir and the Guardian

Masterlist

Chapter 4: freedom and imprisonment | AO3

CW: Depictions of (physical and mental) child abuse , childhood trauma, mentions of (human) experimentation, cult-like behavior, blood, violence

Marinette hasn't felt idiotic in a long while. After the Bats took away Robin and stuck the special cuffs to her wrists, she tries to think why the young hero suddenly burst in like that. She pities him, truly—he looked extremely pained when she saw her. She's sure she hasn't inadvertently used any magic on him, not that she even has the ability to do that to a person. At first, she considers that he might have some connection to Paris and the akumas, but that can't be possible.

She recalls him to the best of her memory: there are swords sticking out his back, dark hair, eyes concealed by the domino mask, marks on his hands, his tight grip on her. The swords on his back . . . twin swords with a . . . familiar hilt?

What.

Her hands fall limply to her sides as she sucks in a breath. That must be it.

Marinette jumps up and begins pacing around the room. Nevermind that encounter looked horrible in Batman's eyes, as well the other League members. Perhaps enough to aggravate her guilty position. This definitely complicates things on her end but kwamis know she'll be killed first before being able to approach within ten feet of Damian al Ghul.

For a few days, she isn't brought out for interrogation again but she hasn't missed the dirty looks from anyone who passed by her cell. On the bright side, she doesn't get to interact with the other heroes that much. On the other hand, she has a sinking feeling that something worse is to come.

One day, while she's sitting near the locked barrier, she senses someone approaching. Someone new who hasn't come by before.

“Hey.” She taps on the translucent barrier. “Black Canary, right?”

The blonde woman looks surprised at her sudden greeting. “Yes . . .?”

“You have expertise in psychology?”

She casts a look of suspicion. “How did you know that?”

“I heard other heroes talking about you,” Marinette explains. “Red Robin and Nightwing I think. They were wondering if you could examine me. They're still undecided on that part, but I figured I'd get ahead and jump the gun. Can—can I ask you something?”

Black Canary doesn't hide her skepticism, but she comes closer after one look at her cuffs.

“I haven't had the chance to talk to a therapist because of the akuma thing and all.” She rambles, waving her covered hands. “Plus with my background, you can see I'm emotionally troubled.”

“What do you mean 'because of the akuma thing’?” She asks.

Marinette's pretty sure she's trying to squeeze information from her which breaches some medical ethics. But she doesn't mind.

“Trying to . . . find an outlet during those times risks triggering negative emotions for an akuma. Basically, we couldn't talk about our feelings at all, unless we were at a safe distance away from Paris. If you don't believe me, you should look up the time a therapist got akumatized.”

Marinette ignores the look of horror on her face. “But that's not what I wanted to talk about. I was wondering . . . can repressed memories come back?”

The heroine doesn't say anything for a while. Marinette begins to think that she shouldn't have asked that question.

“Yes, they can. Usually, if there is a significant trigger linked to the cause of trauma,” Black Canary says carefully. “A sight, a smell, sound, event—anything can bring it back. Sometimes it happens all at once, sometimes little by little.”

“Ah . . .”

“Have you regained memories from your childhood?”

“Uhh, sure, something like that. How do I know they're not fake?”

“You would have to consider something tangible to verify the truth of your memories. It helps if another person can help piece things together with you.”

It's not my memories, Marinette wants to say.

“Thanks. I don't know what to do yet, but that helps. I have another question—”

“Stand back, we don't know what she's doing to you.” A sharp voice cuts in. That's when Marinette notices that more people have joined them: the magic-wielding Zatanna, as well as the big Bat himself scowling at her. But the man trailing behind them grabs her attention. She's heard of him, but it's the first time she's actually seen him in person.

She does a once over at the unkempt look and long brown trench coat. “John Constantine.”

Constantine freezes in his tracks when he lays his eyes on her. His tired expression shifts to a stony one as he utters one word. “ No. ”

“What do you mean, ‘no’?” Zatanna asks.

“Z, don't you see the kid?” He hisses.

“Does she have magical powers outside of the miraculous?” Batman steps towards him. “We have to know if she's Paris’ villain.”

Constantine scoffs. “Villain or not , you do not want to get on her bad side. Can't tell what she is but she's leaking a lot of magical aura right now.” He looks at her more intently. “Miraculous power. I'm out. I'm not dealing with this shit right now.”

“Miraculous power?” Zatanna repeats. “But I never sensed it aside from the traces.”

“She's hidden it from you, obviously.”

“Oops,” Marinette whispers, dropping her cover to bare her full aura to the heroine. She stares at her in shock.

“You cannot back out of this, Constantine. We need to pry information from her,” Batman grabs the other man's arm.

“What about that Martian of yours?”

“He can't get through her.”

Constantine shrugs him off. “Leave me out of this then. You're messing with something greater than all of you.”

Marinette blinks. She doesn't expect him to back out that easily, but at least he acknowledges the degree of her power, which she herself hasn't fully understood. She makes a mental note to ask him for advice next time.

“What do you mean?” Black Canary asks. “She hasn't done anything here. She can't. We had her in handcuffs ever since Robin . . .”

“That's because she chooses to,” the man responds. “Don't you see? Those handcuffs can't bind her powers.”

----

“Fuck you, John Constantine,” Marinette grumbles under her breath.

Because of the occult detective's wonderful remark, the JL has sounded a metaphorical alarm and increased the security around her. She's now confined in a smaller space, both hands and feet bound, with round-the-clock surveillance and even soundproof walls. She's astounded by this level of paranoia, honestly, but she expects nothing less from Batman.

What is bothersome, however, is that a: they should already know that the extra ‘precautions’ are useless; and b: she has been holding back out of her own volition this whole time.

Eventually, she feels too suffocated to stay in the same place. Marinette lets her magic hover onto the security cameras, casting an illusion to hide her disappearance. Next, she takes a piece of thread from her clothes, summons a different kind of magic, and watches as a senti-being in the image of herself sleeping morphs out of nothing. It takes a quick destructive energy burst to break out of her binds and in no less than five minutes, she's slipping through a portal to her base. Her home.

The night sky envelops the half-opened dome in the building. She grabs a spare blanket off the floor, wondering if the others are staying in the base or are still in Gotham. Her questions are immediately answered when Fei strolls in with a clipboard in hand.

“Marinette!” She perks up. “You came back sooner than I thought.”

“I'm back only temporarily.” She runs her thumb over the thin thread holding the existence of her replacement. Gliding over to the stone table, she pulls up several of the screens.

“Why? What happened?” asks her second-in-command.

“Nothing too bad.” Marinette rubs the telltale marks on her wrist. “So? What's the status report?”

“We did a survey across Gotham like you asked, but there's no signs of them,” Fei relays. “There's some talk on the streets, though. Kagami and Luka are looking into it.”

Marinette hums while studying the city map they've marked. “The site for the ritual?”

“The top of the Wayne Tower seems to be the best.”

She makes a face. Just yesterday, she made an association as well, between knowing that Damian is a Wayne and Batman just called Robin his son. “Eugh. Wayne Tower.”

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing.” Marinette shakes her head. Wayne Tower it is.

“I've been meaning to ask . . .” Fei tips her head. “Why Gotham? Why not, you know, here in Tibet?”

“Because their numbers are here. Gotham used to be a center of the black market for ring-adjacents, the Black Cat's power. Of course, none of it has the same power as the real thing, but its energy leaked out through the years. Pretty sure the Order has a stronghold there.”

Fei bites her lip. “But to make ring-adjacents, they'd have to be close to the source . . .”

“Yeah. They brought the Guardian there.”

The other girl's eyes darken as the meaning of Marinette's words settle in.

“If our hunch is correct and they have some brooch-adjacents–Peacocks, that is—we'll be very busy.” Marinette rakes a hand through her hair. “Where are the others? Is Adrien still sad about the trial?”

“I think he's seriously considering a law career.” Fei rolls her eyes. “They're sleeping and—oh, right now he's mad because of Red Robin.”

“Red Robin?”

“He came up to us in Gotham and asked about you.” Fei's tight grip on her clipboard tells Marinette that Adrien isn't the only one holding a grudge. “The nerve of them.”

“Oh? Were you nice to him?” Marinette remembers the same vigilante, who also visited her cell at one point alongside Nightwing.

“Of course not. Kagami flipped him off too.”

“Fei Wu.”

“What? He was the one who disturbed us!”

“Did you shake him off?”

“Of course. They're not touching Gotham until we've done our job.”

Marinette nods. If the Bats had spotted them in Gotham, questions were surely raised. They'll just have to be more careful; she's spending her time in the Justice League’s captivity anyways.

There are two reasons for the setup. First, to finally catch the Justice League's attention towards the Paris situation and have them help deal with the aftermath. But secondly—and most importantly—they have to divert the Bats’ attention elsewhere. Marinette is aware their plan isn't foolproof. There will always be eyes on Gotham regardless, like Oracle's surveillance or the Red Hood's rounds in Crime Alley. But at least they won't be interfering while preparations are being made.

Another voice speaks up behind them. Adrien sluggishly walks out, yawning.

“Marinette?”

“Hello, kitty cat. Slept well?”

“You're back?” He rubs his eyes.

“For now. My senti-double can't stay there for too long. Told ‘ya I can escape after you got me thrown in jail,” Marinette teases.

“M'lady!” Adrien whines. “I tried my best!”

She chuckles, looking back and forth between Fei and her former partner. They've got matching pajamas. Cute. “I know, I know. Come on, let's find Luka and Gami. I want to see them too.”

“What was that fake miraculous all about? It totally threw me off,” Adrien recounts the ‘one piece of incriminating evidence’ that the prosecutor showed everyone.

“You mean that replica? I made it and had Tikki take it to the apartment. Helps sell the show, you know.” Marinette shrugs. “The glass got damaged a bit on the way I think.”

“I didn't know you'd do that!”

“She didn't know you were going to be her lawyer, idiot.” Fei rolls her eyes.

----

Her stomach twists in worry when they open up her cell and take her out. There is a cloth over her eyes, and her limbs are bound in chains but she feels that she's transported to another area of the Watchtower much farther from her cell than the interrogation room. When her blindfold is lifted, she finds that she's in what looks like a meeting room, surrounded by the heroes talking amongst themselves.

Her gaze zeroes in on Zatanna holding a spellbook. She doesn't know what it is, but she feels wary of it.

“I don't think this is a good idea,” Black Canary tells the others.

“It's a breach of her privacy,” Superman argues as well, “What are you thinking?”

“We just need to confirm her identity as Hawkmoth or at least her collusion with the villain.” Batman crosses his arms. “If nothing comes up, we'll stop.”

“You can't do this to her, B. Didn't they say she has some childhood trauma?” Nightwing says.

“They're repressed memories. They won't show up,” Zatanna opens up the spellbook. “The magic will hold out for just a few minutes anyway.”

“I acknowledge that we must resort to this option to extract the truth, but what if she uses her magic like Constantine warned us?” Wonder Woman speaks up. Marinette vaguely remembers how the Lasso of Truth doesn't work on her, which she figures is owed to her own powers.

“That's why I'm telling you to stop if she tries to resist.” Constantine pushes off the wall, walking closer towards the debating group. “If her powers accumulate, I can't promise we can stop her.”

“It's safe ,” Zatanna asserts once more.

“She's barely an adult.” Nightwing raises his voice.

“Don't tell me you were influenced by her magic, Nightwing,” Batman says in a low voice.

“I'm not. And Robin wasn't. That wasn't magic; I checked with Constantine.”

“Even so, we need to confirm with her memories,” says Green Arrow. “She's still a threat, given the amount of magic she has.”

“Threat is an understatement,” Constantine mutters.

“If she is innocent as you say, Supes, we'll see that too won't we?” The Flash points out.

More or less, Marinette can figure out what they're trying to do—use magic to access her memories and prove her innocence or guilt . . . clearly without regard to her consent. If Fei or Adrien or Kagami or Luka find out, they are sure to storm into the Watchtower themselves, secret identities be damned. She stares off at the ceiling to contemplate her next move. She can, of course, escape easily and save herself from the unpermitted exposing of her inner trauma. But that can complicate things and make them view her even more as danger.

She can also resist the magic in her head without doing anything physically. She has shooed out Hawkmoth from her head plenty of times—more than she can count. It's not any different from the mind reading or Amazonian tricks they subjected her to, since her own magic can protect her.

As she's finished deciding, so have the heroes. Zatanna positions herself close to her, chanting an unfamiliar language than her usual backwards verses, drawing out a bright light from her hands and into Marinette's head.

Marinette bites her tongue.

She's made a grave mistake.

This type of magic isn't as simple as Hawkmoth's mental coaxing. There's barely any voice in her head, but she's compelled to open her mind. It feels invasive but welcoming, a foreign warmth that sends a shiver down her spine, almost hypnotic. Her muscles twitch as she tries to break away when she realizes that she has not pushed the magic out of her head, but rather another part of her consciousness.

She tastes blood in her mouth, not wanting to cry out. In her desperation to keep them away from her more recent memories, she has instead bared her past.

A holographic projection appears in midair.

As it is her memory, the vision appears in first person—coming from her own vision. She's in a dimly-lit room, surrounded by old men in long robes and sullen eyes. Deep but steady breaths sound out as she looks down on her bony arm speckled with bruises. A needle sticks out from the crook of her elbow, joint to a syringe, held by a man in front of her.

“This one is more behaved than the last.” The man grins, crooked teeth showing. He is speaking a different language than she's used to, but she still understands.

“Silence!” The monk beside him barks. “She is only a vessel for our Guardian.”

She stares down again at her arms. They're drawing blood. Again. She whimpers, trying to pull away but she's met with a harsh slap on the face.

“Foolish girl, be grateful for the success of the ritual. You are now one with the Guardian.” He turns to his companion. “How is the new set, Master Wen?”

“We've imbibed Illusion, Protection and Subjection so far but the miraculi are still weak compared to her natural abilities.”

“We shall harvest more blood then.”

Hatred and anger burst in her chest. Even if her body feels unbearably heavy, and the wound in her chest is seconds from opening up, she wants to fight these men. As she flails around and they hold her down, she catches sight of the line of vials, all filled with blood from her veins. She sees an opening, reaches out for one of the glass containers, and shatters it on the table she's sitting on.

“How dare you! That's for the miraculi!” She's struck again, harder this time.

One shard. She picks up one shard and swipes at their wrinkly eyes—

“THAT'S ENOUGH!” Constantine shouts, leaping to push Zatanna aside.

Zatanna looks back and forth at the girl and her fellow heroes, muttering her chants over and over. “I can't! I stopped the spell, I swear but—”

Even those not magically-aligned can sense some sort of subliminal pressure. Marinette is slumped and her eyes are trained on the projection, devoid of emotion. But the strength of her aura is burning around her, only increasing by the second.

“I thought it's not supposed to show repressed memories!” Superman yells.

Zatanna sucks in a sharp breath, jaw clenching. “It's not! That only means . . .”

“—her memories aren't repressed in the first place,” Black Canary continues.

“Her magic's making the spell persist,” Constantine deduces. While he tries to do damage control, the other members watch helplessly with pale faces.

The projection flickers.

She's a little younger, but still worn out and tired. In front of her is the naked back of her Master, marred by all sorts of scars and fresher wounds. Her small hands run a warm damp towel on his skin.

“You have to go easy on your body during training, Master.” Arabic spills from her lips.

“Tt. Aches are normal. I cannot improve without getting hurt first,” the boy in front of her protests.

“You have not improved yet if you cannot defend yourself well enough to avoid injuries,” she scolds lightheartedly. “I told you to watch your back earlier.”

“How am I supposed to predict another assassin behind me?”

“They can come from any direction, Master. That was just training.”

She stops scrubbing first, letting him face her for a moment. The green hue of his eyes dances with the candlelight. “I can't remember to watch my back because you are always behind me,” he confesses quietly.

Her mouth shapes into an ‘o’. “Then we'll just have to practice more. I'm afraid there will come a time that I can't protect you anymore.”

“What the—” Nightwing breathes out.

The scene flickers again.

The world tumbles in her vision as their trainer kicks her away. She hears her name called out by Damian but her ears are ringing. A familiar metallic taste trickles into her mouth.

“What have I told you, young master,” their trainer scolds, “If you fall behind in your training, she is the one to face the consequences.”

“You would not dare ,” Damian scowls.

“She is your servant. This is her purpose.” The assassin flicks his hand. “Back to your spar, young master.”

From the floor, he watches him fight another assassin, a designated sparring partner. She can tell his body is still tensed up, still concerned about her. She wants to tell him not to worry but she fears disrupting their fight. Damian is brought down to his hands and knees again—

She suppresses a scream after the trainer scratches her back with his knife. Damian is about to rush towards her but stops himself, picking up his sword and returning to position instead.

Another defeat.

A second kick to her abdomen, only eliciting a grunt. Her body has grown numb . . .

Marinette feels a thread snapping in her head—the spell has halted, but the damage is done. She doesn't need to look at the heroes to tell what they're thinking. Finally, the wave of exhaustion takes over and she allows herself to collapse.

---

Damian is utterly furious with his father. Not only has Bruce banned him from the Watchtower, but he's also forced to sit out patrols. Now he can only spend his pastime sitting around in the cave, with Barbara and Stephanie to keep him company (read: watch over him).

“I don't get it. Why are you convinced that she's innocent?” Stephanie, still donning her purple gear, spins around on a chair.

“Because the facts say so,” Damian replies grumpily. “They have not completely proven that she holds the Butterfly miraculous.”

Actually, Hawkmoth or not, he can't care any less about which side she's on. All he wants to know are her reasons, and if she is guilty, she wouldn't commit crimes on a whim.

“Yeah, I'm on Dames’ side here,” Barbara adds, still poring over the same files on the computer. “Some things aren't adding up. I'd stay neutral until more information comes to life.”

A series of beeps announce the arrival of two more visitors in the Batcave—Red Robin and Nightwing, who both wear grim faces as they approach the central console. If Damian remembers correctly, they should have come from the Watchtower.

“What's up?” Barbara inquires, turning around on her wheelchair.

“The JL has gathered more info on Marinette,” says Dick. “We have more clues on her past . . .”

Tim looks at Damian. “There's something you're not telling us.”

Damian tries to hide the shift in his body language. He hasn't given his family a clear reason yet for his breakdown, not wanting to share his memories with Marie. He wants to investigate on his own first, especially on how she's alive. His first thoughts go to the Pits, but his gut feeling tells him it's something else.

“You knew her.” Dick folds his arms. “In the League of Assassins. She was an assassin.”

Damian bites his tongue. But she's more human than I'll ever be.

Stephanie's jaw unhinges. “Damian?”

Damian lowers his head. “Fine. I did . . .”

“How?”

He averts his gaze, thinking maybe he deserves to have his sins put out in the open like this. “We were raised together,” he recounts softly. “She served under me . . . Before the coup, there was a series of attacks on all the League's bases to weaken us—I had to be transferred frequently to different locations.”

“What happened to her?” Tim leans in closer.

“She . . . she died. We were heading back to Nanda Parbat and . . .” Damian cannot bring himself to say it. I killed her. It was my fault.

Both Dick and Tim share a look. A silent conversation.

“Fuck,” Dick breathes out, “We really messed up. It had to have happened after she died, after she was with the League.”

“Why? What did you find out?” Barbara begins to type furiously, to access the records in the Watchtower for them. “You said you gathered more information on her; how did you do it? Did she talk?”

Tim visibly flinches. “No, she didn't.”

Damian springs up to his feet. “What did you do? ”

“Zatanna . . . she had this spell . . .”

“You coerced her?!”

“Memory projection.” Barbara's voice is laced with horror as she shows a series of videos on the screen. “How—how can you do this . . . how did they agree to this?”

“We were only trying to look at the time of the akuma attacks!” Dick protests. “But something went wrong.”

Damian feels his throat dry up, looking at the memories they documented. He feels sick seeing himself there, through her eyes. One thing catches her eye: Marie sitting in front of old men as they stick a needle onto her. He only hears blood rushing, barely catching his brothers’ explanation on ‘the Order of Guardians’ doing some sort of experiments on her.

His lip trembles. Her body. He never saw her body after the fall. He remembered feeling to numbed by her death to look for it.

Did they take her? Bring her back to life? Is she the same ?

Back in the Watchtower, she looked at him with so much unfamiliarity that he was paralyzed. Her eyes colored in a vibrant shade of blue are forever seared into his mind—they were never that blue before. They were just dull.

Damian runs before he realizes it. Away from the cave, away from the manor, away from the voices calling him back.

His body moves faster than his mind; he doesn't know what he should do or where he should go, but he's aching to do something. Serve revenge to those who hurt Marie, or sneak into the Watchtower himself to get her out of there. He swiftly takes hold of one of his father's jets, running through his options.

Tibet. The Order of the Guardians.

He curses himself for letting them get to her. He heard of them during his stay in the third base; another secret organization associated with magic, also located in the Tibetan range. As far as his knowledge goes, his aunt Nyssa was researching them at that time. Damian immediately shifts his flight to head east.

The maps show the location as he traces from memory; it is not too far from the League of Assassins' base. A stone temple sits up on top of a mountain, capped with a dome that has been damaged, exposing the entire. Damian wastes no time landing his aircraft and entering via the open dome.

The temple is practically in ruins. He wonders if it has any occupants at all—if he sees any of those monks, he vows not to hold back, even if he ends up killing. If the Justice League hasn't done it yet, he promises to wipe away the Order himself.

A flicker of movement in the dark catches his periphery. Damian immediately snaps his wrist to throw his knife. A shout follows after, as well as an echoing crunch of ceramic breaking.

“ Noooo, my cereal!”

←Previous Chapter | Next Chapter →

Fun Fact! It took Marinette a while to perfect her senti-double. Her primary reference is Ladybug's wax statue in the Paris Wax Museum. It also took her a while to not get creeped out by said double. No, the double doesn't speak unless she orders it to Taglist: @noisydreamlandkoala

#tw child abuse #tw suicide #maribat fanfic #dc x mlb #mlb x dc #maribat #maribat fic #daminette #marinette dupain cheng x damian wayne #tw blood #ggomoz #maribat damian wayne #maribat marinette dupain cheng #SS:H&G #tw panic attack

18 notes · View notes

laheymaze · 2 years

Text

he is my worst enemy

✨eddie munson✨ x fem!henderson!reader

PART TWO HERE!

requested by: nightshadered

summary: you and eddie do not get along whatsoever and one day when he comes over to your house to hang out with dustin, you realize you have a lot more in common than you thought <3

prompt included: "he is my worst enemy. my nemesis" "didn't you just meet him like five minutes ago?" "yes"

warnings: some language but that's it :)

**this is from my wattpad, simplytbs, from months ago! check out my wattpad for more stories!*

-------

When you walked Dustin to the first day of his new D&D club, you were instantly alarmed when you saw that Eddie Munson was the leader. The 'amazing' guy who has taken Dustin under his wing. You pulled Dustin aside and asked why he would ever join a group with Eddie, and Dustin simply defended him.

"Hey, Henderson!" Eddie paused and looked at you cautiously. "Why are you here?" He questioned.

"This is my sister," Dustin told him. Horror crossed Eddie's face.

"Oh." Was all Eddie said before walking away.

"He is my worst enemy. My nemesis." You said scornfully.

"Didn't you just meet him like five minutes ago?" Dustin questioned.

"Yes. Well, no. We've crossed paths before."

"Listen, Mike and Lucas are here too. If anything happens I will call you."

"Yeah unless he kills all three of you."

Ever since this day, you and Eddie constantly fight, bicker, and insult each other. You think he is an awful influence on Dustin, and you wish your little brother would just leave the group. You kept warning him that if Eddie turns out to be some psycho killer, not to go crying to you since you were right.

On today's episode of 'Eddie and Y/N fights 101,' you walked over to the Hellfire lunch table, giving Dustin the book that he needed for his class after lunch.

"To what do I owe this pleasure, your majesty," Eddie said, bowing to you.

"Just giving Dustin his book, asshat." You responded harshly.

"Can you two just be nice to each other for once?" Dustin asked.

"No." You and Eddie responded at the same time, giving each other a dirty look.

"See, you can already read each other's minds." Dustin pointed out.

"You're right Dusty-bun, we can. Eddie is thinking about how he wishes he could get a girlfriend and how badly he wishes he could destroy me. Probably how he can kill all of us with his satanic cult. Oh, and can't forget the whole not being able to graduate thing." You said, probably crossing a dangerous line.

"And Y/N is thinking about how to be a nice person. Oh wait, she isn't capable of that since she a cold-blooded reptile that can make an appearance of a human, or, somewhat of one." You stood there and crossed your arms aggressively. Eddie smirked because he knew he got you there.

"Enough! Just shut up!" Dustin shouted. You walked away and sat back down with your friends. Them asking you why you keep talking to Eddie 'the freak' Munson. Your head was somewhere else while they were questioning you, though. Did he really think you were a cold-blooded reptile? This remark bothered you more than any of the ones he has ever thrown at you. It stayed on your mind the entire day.

—

You were crawled up in your bed when you heard a knock on the door. Maybe Dustin forgot his key. You got up and opened the door, only to see Eddie standing there.

"Oh, hey, sorry. Dustin and I are supposed to hang out. I'm early." Eddie told you.

"He's not here." You said coldly, a sad look on your face.

"What's wrong?"

"Do you even care?"

"You seem sad," Eddie said. You left the door open and walked back to your room. Eddie closed the door behind him and followed you. "What's wrong, Y/N?" Eddie looked around your room and saw the rock music posters hanging, along with the guitar pick art you had on your wall and tapes and vinyl's lined up on your shelves.

"Nothing." You told him.

"I didn't know you were a metal head like me? I thought we had nothing in common." Eddie said, amazed.

"You're not a cold-blooded reptile, so we don't have anything in common." You said, throwing yourself down on your bed, curling up with a pillow. Eddie gave you a sad expression.

"That's what's bothering you? I once called you a whiny bitch, and that had no effect. Y/N, I do not think you are cold-blooded or a reptile." A tear ran down your face, and Eddie panicked. He had no clue what to do. "No no no no, don't cry! I'm sorry!" Eddie rushed over and sat next to you, wrapping an arm around you lightly, too scared to get too close.

"I can't believe I'm letting you see me cry right now." You said, laughing.

"See, you are fully human." Eddie said, trying to make you feel better. You laughed some more and buried your face in your pillow.

"Rock music is my favorite and I actually like D&D. I just never said anything because I didn't want you to think we had something in common." You said, muffled, pillow still in your face. Eddie laughed and pulled the pillow away. He lightly hit you with it, making you giggle.

"What else don't I know about you?" Eddie asked, facing you.

"I have a tattoo." You said, sheepishly. "If my mom knew, she'd become even more mental than she already is."

"Y/N Henderson has a tattoo? How did you even get one since you're not eighteen?"

"Steve took me." You answered.

"I'm sorry, Steve as in Steve 'the hair' Harrington?" Eddie was taken back, jealousy present.

"Yeah, we've been through a lot so him and I are close. We aren't a thing if that's what you are freaking out about." You told him.

"Why would that freak me out? I don't care." Eddie got nervous and started playing with his rings.

"Mhm." You smiled at Eddie. "I guess we do have things in common besides my brother." You said. "Don't tell him about this either, because he will never leave us alone."

"Trust me, I won't. He'll make my life miserable with a bunch of questions."

"Who will?" Dustin's body appeared in your room, confused as to why you and Eddie were somewhat snuggled on your bed together. You both looked at him, Eddie jumping out of your bed right away.

"You will if I left without even though you took forever to get here." Eddie joked, throwing his arm around Dustin's shoulder. The pair were leaving your room as Eddie turned around to smile at you. "See you around, Y/N."

"Since when do you two get along?" Dustin asked Eddie.

"Since forever, where have you been?"

----

part two will be a good one! sorry if there are any mistakes in here, i am exhausted and was trying to get this done

make sure to like and reblog :)

#eddie munson #eddie x reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson icons #Eddie Munson fic #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fluff #Eddie Munson x y/n #eddie munson x henderson!reader

323 notes · View notes

worldserasingandcreatinginmymind · 7 months

Text

Bloody Beetle | Part Four

Summary: life in the desert with Harrow and his creepy cult

Pairing: another one that’s mostly Arthur Harrow x Reader

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: that naughty boy Harrow is lying and manipulating people again, tut tut...

A/N: look at me posting two days in a row, who am I? For the purposes of this story, let’s just pretend Harrow has the ability to give people strength or make them need to sleep… as always spelling and grammar are not my strongest skills so please be kind :)

Part Three | Series Masterlist

- - - - -

Egypt is hot. Way too hot. There’s not a single inch of your body that isn’t dripping with sweat as you follow Harrow and his disciples through the Egyptian desert. Arthur keeps you near him at all times, and you watch as the scarab that is floating above his hand directs him through the sands and suddenly points down.

“We found Ammit. She’s here.” He says quietly before turning to face everyone and shouting in a language you don't recognise. The disciples erupt into cheers and laughs of joy. You just stand and watch them all. You don't understand how anyone could be happy about this. But then Harrow hasn’t managed to brainwash you like he has the rest of these people.

As they celebrate Harrow is approached by Bobbi, the lady you recognise as the police officer who took you from Steven’s flat. She’s on the phone when he notices her.

“Marc Spector is in Cairo. He’s tracking us.” She says just loud enough for you to hear, glancing over at you as she talks.

“I know.” Harrow replies quietly, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “She’s here.”

Some of the disciples get to work on unloading the trucks and setting up huge tents while others begin digging to find the tomb. Wanting no part in any of this you take yourself a good distance away from everyone, finding a rock to sit on. Arthur sees you and comes over, sitting next to you.

“You look displeased.” He says.

“Well you're one step closer to freeing the crocodile lady that tried to kill me and wants to kill a whole lot of other people so, yeah, you could say I’m displeased.”

“I wish you saw things the way I do.”

“And I wish you didn’t.” You shoot back and he smirks, but not in a malicious way. He is genuinely amused by you. You look back out at his followers all working like slaves under his command. It baffles you how happy they are to be working so hard in this heat, excited at the prospect of freeing Ammit. “How did you do it?”

“How did I do what?” He responds.

“How did you convince all these people to follow you?”

“They follow Ammit, not me.”

“But they follow Ammit because of you, right? You told them about her.”

“I guess.” he says, noncommittal, wanting you to keep talking.

“I presumed it was just that they were lucky enough to be judged as good by her, and that’s what made them follow her. But then I realised that even if she had judged me as good instead of condemning me, I still wouldn’t believe the same thing that she does. I still wouldn’t be okay with killing people just because they might do something bad. And I just don't see how this many people can believe that that is right.”

“Everyone has their own reasons to believe what they believe.”

“Yeah, but when those beliefs result in murder-”

“Y/N…” Harrow sighs.

“I mean what about kids? What would happen if you tested the scales, or whatever you call it, on a kid. And it turned out that they might do something that Ammit classes as evil in the future. What would happen then?” You ask, but he stays silent. “Arthur?”

“Don't ask questions that you won’t like the answer to.”

“You’re even worse than I thought.” You get up and start to walk away.

“Don't go far. It’s almost time for your daily healing.” He calls after you, but you just keep walking. You need to get away from this man.

— — — —

About an hour has passed since your revealing talk with Harrow and the dig is still in full force. You’ve made yourself as comfortable as is possible when in the middle of a scorching hot desert surrounded by unhinged cult members. You find a small mound of sand just large enough for you to lean against and you sit on the floor. Your face up towards the bright sky, eyes closed as you try to take yourself somewhere else in your mind.

Suddenly you hear a man cry out “Help!” And open your eyes to see the sky turn a dark shade of orange. You sit up right and search the crowd for Harrow. He may be deranged, but for some reason you feel safe when your eyes land on him. He stops digging and looks up at the sky. He doesn’t look worried all. In fact, he looks irritated.

“Keep digging! No matter what happens, keep digging! Do not stop. I am about to be called upon.” He looks over and gestures for you to come to him. You obey, getting up and running across the sand to where he stands waiting with his cane. As soon as you reach him he lifts the hand that is holding the cane up to the side of your arm, the wooden cane pressing into your bicep slightly. “It’s time.”

He places his other hand on your head, closing his eyes. Out the corner of your eye you notice the cane glow for a moment and then its over. He removes the hand on your head, using it to call over one of his female disciples. “Y/N is going to need to sleep now. Take her to the tent, stay there with her until I return.”

“Praise Ammit.” She responds with a nod before taking gentle hold of you and leading you to the tent. She unzips the door for you and before you enter you turn back to look at Arthur, but he is already gone.

Harrow was right. Once you got inside the tent you suddenly realised how much you wanted to sleep. As the woman charged with staying with you sat on a stool by the entrance, you settled down on one of the two camp beds that are set up in the room and fell almost instantly asleep. You have no idea how long you were asleep for but when you wake, Harrow has taken the place of the woman and is now sat watching you.

“You’re back.” You say as you sit up in bed.

“I am.” he replies simply as he stands and moves over to one of the tables in the room.

“Where did you go?”

“I had to talk with the Ennead council but it’s sorted now. Nothing to worry about.” A small smile appears on his face. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine.”

“Good, good. I’m glad. The healing can make you feel tired for a while after so it’s important to rest.” He hands you a cup of water and sits next to you. He takes a sip from his own cup before talking again. “I saw Marc Spector tonight.”

“Oh.” you say, trying to sound disinterested and ignore how your heart just skipped a beat at the mention of his name.

“He wanted the Ennead to put me on trial, but they saw through his lies and let me go. When I last saw him, he and Layla El-Faouly were meeting with a black market dealer-”

“Why are you telling me this?” You snap, standing up from the bed and stepping away from him.

“I thought you’d want to know.” It feels like he’s trying to wind you up, make you jealous that Marc is out there somewhere with Layla.

“Well I don’t, okay? I do not care about Marc Spector.” You say firmly. A half truth. You don't know Marc Spector enough to care about him, but you do care for Steven and a small part of you still believes in him.

Harrow stares at you for a moment before nodding. “Okay.” he says quietly before getting up and walking past you, stopping when he reaches the door. “Dinner is being served now. Once you’ve calmed down you may join us.”

He leaves and part of you wants to throw the cup of water in your hand at the door, but you don’t. Another part of you wants to just stay in this tent for the rest of the evening, but the grumbling of your stomach tells you that’s not a good idea. So you take a few breaths, finish the drink and head outside.

— — — —

As soon as you got outside with everyone, you wished you’d stayed in the tent. Something about the way the disciples watch you sends shivers up your spine. You get the feeling they don’t like having you around. Hushed conversations suddenly stop as you walk by. You keep catching glimpses of dirty looks and disproving stares being sent your way. If looks could kill, not even Harrow could keep you alive.

Harrow had been deep in conversation with a group of disciples so you walked straight to the food serving table and grabbed a bowl. You thanked the server who splashed a ladle of some sort of soup into your bowl and handed you a bread roll before you headed towards the table with the least amount of people sat at it. As soon as you sat down, the few people that were there got up and left, leaving you completely alone. Which you didn’t mind. At least you could eat your soup without judgement.

Maybe its just because you haven't eaten a full meal in days, but the soup was actually delicious. You have no idea how they managed to make something so tasty with such few resources, but your empty stomach really appreciates it. A few moments later you notice the shadow of someone stood next to you.

“May I sit?” Harrow asks, looking down at you with a sympathetic smile.

“Go ahead.” You say as you dip some bread in your soup and he sits next to you. “This is really good.” You say as you take a bite of the now soup soaked bread.

“Yes, Victor’s lentil soup. A favourite of mine.” He waves over to Victor who smiles at Harrow, but then he looks at you and his face drops.

“I don't think these people like me very much.” You try to laugh it off, but your insecurity sneaks through.

“There are some doubts about you, I admit. Those who believe I’m wrong for sparing you after your scales judgement. But they’ll come around, once they get to know you.”

“They want me dead.” You say, a hint of sadness in your voice as you absentmindedly stir your spoon around your soup.

“Y/N look at me.” He says and you look up, slightly startled by how close he now is. “No harm will come to you while you’re under my protection. You have my word.”

You just nod at him and he smiles, relaxing into his seat. You finish the rest of your meal in comfortable silence before Harrow offers to walk you back to the tent.

“We’re going into the tomb tomorrow morning, as soon as the sun rises.” He says suddenly, and you don't really know how to respond. You want to try to convince him not to go, not to release Ammit. But you know there’s no point so you just say “okay” and continue walking.

“I don't know how long I’ll be down there so I’ll need to do your healing before I go-”

“Wait, you're not taking me with you?” You ask.

“No, you must stay in the tent. I don't know what challenges I will face in there, it’s likely to be dangerous. I need to be able to focus and not be worrying about you.”

“Why would you worry about me?” You laugh and he stops walking, turning to face you completely.

“Because I care about you, Y/N.”

“Oh” you're surprised at his confession “Uh, I don't really know what to say to that.”

“Then say nothing.” He says, reaching his hand out to pull back the entrance to the tent. “It’s time to sleep now. Tomorrow is a big day.”

You enter the tent and head to the bed you’d slept in earlier. You're surprised that Harrow follows you in, placing his cane next to the other bed in the tent.

“You're sleeping in here too?” You ask.

“Is that alright? I assure you, you are perfectly safe with me. But if you're uncomfortable I can swap with Bobbi. I’m sure she won’t mind-”

“No, no its okay. I don't mind.” You don't fully trust that Bobbi, or any of the other disciples, wouldn’t just murder you while you slept.

“Very well.” He says, climbing into bed. “Good night Y/N.”

“Good night Arthur.”

— — — —

The next morning you when you wake you can hear the sound of voices outside your tent. You look over and realise Harrow’s bed is empty. You get out of bed and creep closer to the tent door, listening to the conversation on the other side.

“But sir, please, I want to help you!” The voice pleads.

“You want to help me? This is how you help.” Harrow replies, calm but firm. “She can’t come with us, someone has to stay with her. I’m trusting you with to keep her safe.” He pauses. “Ammit has found you to be worthy enough for this important task. Don’t let her down.”

There’s sigh before the first voice simply says “Praise Ammit.”

You hear movement and quickly retreat back away from the door. A moment later Harrow and one of his disciples, a young lady, enters.

“Y/N, this is Maya. She’s going to keep you company while I’m away.”

“Nice to meet you.” You give her a small smile, and she tries to smile back but you can tell she’s irritated. You turn your attention to Harrow. “You know I really don't need a babysitter. I’ll be fine in here on my own.”

“I know. But just in case something were to happen, Maya will be here for you.” He moves closer to you. “Are you ready?” He asks, placing a hand on your shoulder and you nod. He places his other hand on your head, his cane glows and even though you’ve just woken from a full night sleep you instantly feel tired. He guides you back into bed, helping you settle in. “Sleep now. When I return, we change the world.” He says softly with a smile as you drift back into your dreams.

— — — —

The first thing you notice when you wake up is how quiet it is in the empty camp. It’s eery, kind of haunting. For the first time you actually almost miss Harrow and you're actually relieved he didn’t leave you completely alone. You sit up and look over to see Maya sat on the stool at the entrance, slumped against the side of the tent. She’s asleep. Not wanting to disturb her, you make your way over towards her as quietly as possible and sneak past her to the outside.

Being alone outside sends a shiver up your spine. The camp looked abandoned, but you don't feel like you're alone. You get the same feeling you did at dinner last night, as if everyones eyes are on you. You head over to the food table and are thankful to find there’s still some porridge left over from breakfast in the serving pot. You grab yourself a bowl full and sit at one of the tables. You only get a few mouthfuls before you hear Maya shouting for you. She comes running outside, a look of panic on her face. A gun in her hand, which she lowers once she realises you're fine. She heads over to join you.

“Why do you have gun?!” You ask in horror.

“Harrow left it with me, so I can defend myself if I need to.”

“Defend yourself against who?” You pause, surely not… “Against me?”

“No not you.” She tucks the gun away in her belt. “He just said if anyone shows up and tries to follow him or take you then I have to use it.”

“Who would want to take me…” you don't even finish your sentence as it sinks in. He must be talking about Marc. But if what he said before was true, then Marc wanted nothing to do with you. Maybe he knows something you don't and there are more dangerous people after you. But what would they even want with you? None of this makes sense, but it’s making you anxious. You decide to change the subject. “So, how long have you been with Harrow and everyone?”

“Not long, only a few months now I think.”

“How did you get involved in all this?”

“I made friends with some bad people when I was in college. Eventually they got me selling drugs and when my parents found out they kicked me out. I was living on the streets, meeting dangerous people. That’s when I met Arthur. He found me in an alley one night, tested my scales and took me in. He saved me.”

“Wow…” you don't know what to say. Looking at her, she can’t be older than 17. But already she’s been through so much. “I’m sorry you went through that.”

“It’s okay. I’m in a much better place now.” She smiles, this time it’s real. “And once we release Ammit, I’ll be able to bring justice to the people that hurt me.” There’s a few moments of quiet before Maya speaks again. “Please don't tell Harrow that I was asleep.”

“I won’t. But why does it matter?”

“I was supposed to be watching you. If he knew that I’d fallen asleep, and that you were out here alone… he’s be so angry with me.”

“But why?”

Before she can answer you hear the sound of something being knocked over in one of the other tents, startling both of you. For a second she looks panicked while she tries to work out what to do next.

“Back to the tent. Go!” She whispers as she gets up and ushers you to move with her. She escorts you back with one hand on your back, the other hovering over her gun which is tucked into her belt. Once inside she tells you to sit back on the bed, which you do. You both stay silent as you listen out for any more movement. “I’m going to have a look around. Stay here.” She says and you agree before she disappears back out the door.

A few more minutes pass by and you see the shadow of someone creeping around the edge of your tent. The shadow of someone too big to be Maya. You get on the floor and shuffle under your camp bed just as someone enters. You clasp your hands over your mouth as you listen to heavy footsteps move around your tent, rifling through items and baskets of papers that Harrow left on the table. Something falls to the floor and drifts down to land in front of you, some paper covered in sort of ancient text. Your heart feels like its about to pound right out of your chest as the intruder moves closer. As they crouch down to pick it up you finally get a glimpse of who it is. He looks at you like he’s just seen a ghost.

“Y/N?” the British voice you didn’t realise you’d missed so much. “Y/N! Oh thank God you’re alive!”

Part Five

Taglist : @sleepylunarwolf / @ahookedheroespureheart / @sleepyamaya / @spicydonut25 / @kult6 / @uncle-eggy / @malaanii/ @toracainz / @pinkiestwinkie / @galacticstxrdust / @mateihavenoidea / @xmariakx / @oscarissac2099 / @whycantwebefriendz / @parkeepingparker

(If you want to be added/removed on the tag list please let me know, but note that I can’t reply to comments from this blog)

#moon knight #Steven grant #arthur Harrow #Marc Spector #Layla el faouly #moon knight fanfic #Steven grant x reader #arthur Harrow x reader #Marc Spector x reader #Khonshu #Oscar Isaac x reader #Ethan Hawke x reader

50 notes · View notes

anisette-blackwirth · 2 years

Text

SAGAU: Meeting Kazuha

summary: You started playing after Kazuha's release and have been waiting almost a year for his rerun (based on a true story lmao)

spoiler warning: inazuma archon quest spoilers

content warning: not exactly a cult AU but close enough. Chosen Traveler is Aether.

notes: I intend to eventually do one of these introspectives for each of my main team (and other characters, as applicable), but... Kazuha's banner is coming out in a few hours, so I had to write this quickly before summoning.

May all Kazuha wanters become Kazuha havers!

“You two give off not only the essence of wind and earth, but also of… yes… the stars…”

The first time Kazuha felt your presence was when he met the Traveler and Paimon. He assumed the little flying child was somehow projecting her emotions to others. He expected Captain Beidou would be the one to ask. Beidou was outspoken and blunt, but that served her well as the captain of her crew. While they hadn't known each other for very long, Kazuha could already tell when she was about to say something, and refrained from making his own comments as he waited for her to speak up.

The feeling that she was ‘about to say something’ persisted up until the Traveler and Paimon left to prepare for the Crux Clash, when she finally let it out in a rush.

"Did you feel that? That weird sorta energy around those two."

"I did. It seemed to ebb and flow with the little flying one's emotions."

"You know, I tried to ask about it? But I couldn't say the words."

"Truly?" Kazuha hummed in thought. "And yet we are having no trouble discussing it now."

"Yeah. I don't like this. Why couldn't I say anything? Do you think there’s some weird magic around them? This could be bad," Beidou said. "I'm gonna ask the crew if they felt anything."

"It certainly could be," Kazuha agreed mildly as Beidou descended to the lower deck, choosing not to voice his own suspicions just yet. But when he pulled the Traveler aside to have a word with him before the final match, he found quite quickly that he disagreed with Beidou.

The more he spoke with the Traveler and Paimon, the more Kazuha felt that the presence was neither of theirs. It reacted pleasantly and kindly to his words.

"...And, not to mention your incredibly complex scent. Like that of some mysterious being," Kazuha said. He tried to elaborate - Like the mist that rises off hot pavement in the first flash of summer rains - but couldn't. He frowned, struggling with his own words internally, before he gave up and continued on. The words felt right, but he hadn’t been able to voice them. Just like Beidou.

Later that evening, something about the aura encouraged him to share his story - or maybe it was just the delayed result of Beidou pushing him to talk about his pain with others. As he spoke of Tomo's fate, keeping his voice deliberately light… he became certain that the presence was a third, separate entity. Paimon was saddened and the Traveler's expression displayed grief - but he seemed unsurprised, as if loss were an old, familiar friend and he had known what was coming the moment Kazuha began speaking.

The presence he felt hovering around them was both sad and angry. Angry on his behalf, much like Beidou had been when she took him onboard. He could feel its desire to wrap around and protect him… but it didn't. And as he felt it leave sadly with the Traveler that evening… he wondered if maybe it couldn't.

-------------

The Traveler, as it turned out, was not unaware of the presence hovering around him and his friend, because he re-introduced himself as Aether during the voyage to Inazuma.

"I saw you both struggling to say something earlier. I'm sorry I couldn't explain things then. I have someone guiding me who we can't talk about. But they've been helping me for months now - well, all of us," Aether said, gesturing at the companions he'd brought on-board.

"Uh… huh." Beidou was unimpressed. And rightly so, since she had been intending to smuggle one person across and ended up with four. "You know Thoma isn't expecting these extra people, right?" she asked.

"It'll be fine. I think? Whoever's helping us out seems to be able to hide extra people when they need to,” Aether said.

"So those emotions we felt when you were around were theirs? How does that work?" Beidou asks. Paimon made a very unimpressed looking shrug to mirror Aether’s.

"We're not sure," Aether said. "They only seem to be able to directly interact with certain vision users, but apparently everyone can feel them around. It's just, people with visions can feel them the clearest."

"You introduced yourself as [username], and yet you now say your name is Aether. Is that their name?" Kazuha asks.

"As far as we can tell," Aether says.

As they continued explaining the situation, with Paimon remaining suspiciously silent, Kazuha was glad to get the chance to talk to Aether on his own. But he also found that he missed that summer-scented mist, just a little.

------------

Kazuha felt the presence watching over him a few more times in Inazuma after that, always in association with Aether. He felt its - their - utter joy at seeing him again when the Crux crew joined the battle at Nazuchi Beach, their enthusiasm almost matching Gorou's. Aether lingered to speak with him and Beidou after the skirmish, grinning sheepishly as the conversation stretched on.

He felt them most strongly during the assault on Tenshukaku, their fear turning to such a fierce, victorious pride as he saves Aether that it left him shaking just as much as the Shogun's return strike did. Then the presence disappeared into the void with Aether, and did not come back out.

He felt them briefly as he visited Tomo's grave after all was said and done, and found he was grateful to know they were still alive. Having someone to witness his prayers at his friend's resting place - even an unknown, mysterious, otherworldly aura - helped ease his heart.

-----------

Kazuha did not feel them again until he decided on a whim to answer a commission in Liyue, three months later. They were subtly in the background as he accepted Aether's invitation to team up, and he was disappointed when he thought that would be all he'd feel of them this time. But Aether gave him a thumbs up and a wink and warned him to brace himself.

As soon as the party entered the domain, Kazuha felt their presence sweep over him. It was so much stronger than ever before that he had to stop and take a moment to breathe, though both the presence and his three companions seemed content to wait for him.

He felt the presence - felt you examining him joyfully. He got the sense that you were peering at him from every angle, and then your attention turned inward to the artifacts he'd chosen to take with him for this fight. You express vague interest and approval - had he chosen well? They were the best he had for that set - and then you were guiding the four of them forward to experience combat at your hands.

It was different from normal combat. Alien. Kazuha found that your presence came and went in flashes, directing him to use certain skills and then flitting away to one of the others. He dodged strikes he couldn't see or hear properly through the echoing fog of the domain, kept safe from blows that might have felled him by a third eye from above. But he was also hit by other attacks he could clearly see approaching in slow motion, also found himself unwilling to use Chihayaburu when he normally would.

He sensed your frustration and shame whenever this happened, and he wondered whether you were learning this as you went, too.

------------

Now, seven months later, he’s met you personally, face-fo-face. Your guidance of him as a “trial character” through two more events improved greatly since your first fumbling attempts to understand his “playstyle”, and he feels - perhaps arrogantly - that the two of you work well together. You had stuttered out something similar when you first asked for his consent to be “summoned” and used as your vessel all those months ago, and Kazuha smiles now as he recalls it.

Beidou joins him at the railing as he watches the approaching islands of the Golden Apple Archipelago and slings an arm around his shoulders companionably.

“Ya ready, kid?” she asks. “Last chance to back out. I’m sure [Y/N] wouldn’t mind.”

Beidou has been one of your vessels for a long time as well, and though she’s not the most often chosen, Kazuha has heard nothing but good from her about the experience. So he takes her words as teasing.

“I find I must disagree. [Y/N] has been quite enthusiastic about my ‘return’ these past weeks,” Kazuha says with a smile. He knows from Beidou that you’ve had the necessary materials to empower him saved for quite some time, and while you apparently aren’t yet happy with the Viridescent Venerer’s artifact set you plan to gift to him, Kazuha is certain it will be worlds better than what he was able to collect on his own.

“I haven’t the heart to disappoint. Besides, I have no other obligations. I merely wish to wander and experience the world. I can think of no better way to spend my time than to explore this world alongside someone who so clearly cares for me.”

Beidou ruffles his hair and he ducks out of her hold. “Sap. Alright, well, we’re almost there! Fix your hair before you meet [Y/N]. Can’t have you looking like you just rolled outta bed!”

Kazuha grumbles and redoes his ponytail, which Beidou was the one to ruin in the first place - but finds that he can’t maintain even a fake frown for long. He’s excited to feel your presence in his life permanently. And as he prepares to step ashore and surprise you before you “wish” for him, he hopes you are too.

#sagau #genshin sagau #sagau kazuha #kaedehara kazuha #cult au #I am guaranteed Kazuha btw #I have 190 fates saved so I'm good #just a matter of how fast he comes home

575 notes · View notes

1moremilgram-enjoyer · 6 months

Text

Amane T1 Cover - Positive Parade

Been a while, but we're back to covers! Time for the specialest girl ever, Amane and Positive Parade! I miss her sounding as happy as she does in this song, man. At least she seemed to be having fun in parts of Purge March too, but that was a different kinda fun. Anyways, let's go!

CW Cults and indoctrination, child abuse

Positive Parade is possibly the one covered song in Trial 1 with no explicit references to romance or sex, which in my eyes is a win for Amane, common best character w.

What also makes this song stand out is just how happy it is! It actually is an extremely optimistic and uplifting song, where the singer encourages someone else to follow their dreams and remain positive in the face of adversity.

Stuff your heart full with all your dearest dreams Go for broke on all the things you wanna do! “We can’t stop” Is this a good feeling? Or is it no good after all? On these never-ending nights, let's talk while dancing with the stars Even when times are tough, the light is always by our sides “We can’t stop” You’ll turn out okay! Because you'll find your smile fits you perfectly

(I'm using this translation because the translation in the Milgram wiki has very odd wording at times, so I think it kinda confuses the meaning a bit)

The 'never-ending nights' I believe represent the struggles of life, which at times feel endless. But the singer suggest to talk while 'dancing with the stars', while engaging with the light in the darkness. "Even when times are tough, the light [of the stars] is always by our sides." Optimism! Happiness!

There is the "is this a good feeling? or is it no good after all?" line which seems like it could imply some lurking horror, but there's a few ways to read that. I actually think the singer is asking if the person being sung to is happy with what they're doing, or if they should stop and move on to something else, which is similar to this line:

This isn’t enough, not yet I need to make sure I don’t mess up the words I want to say “I forbid you from pushing yourself too hard" "I’ll be right here” So you won't be discouraged by what comes tomorrow, if we could laugh together again... That's why you gotta stop those "what'll happen if"s!

The singer wants the other to make sure not to push themselves too hard, and reassures them they can rely on the singer.

The important part there is that the singer wants to be relied on. Not in like a dangerous way necessarily, just a "I'm your friend and I want to help you when you're down" kinda way. At least that's the vibe I get.

Heeeey, aren't you straight up bawling your eyes out? It's not normal for you to pretend that everything's fine. Even though you've got things you want to say Where's that sadness you've been shouldering? Come on, one day it'll just overflow "I'm sorry, I can't do it anymore, please help me" You don't want to imagine it, You don't want to hear it, do you? So before it comes to that, rely on me!

You know, I've seen people say that some people think this song is about toxic positivity, but to me it doesn't really look like it. The singer's literally telling the other that if they hide their pain, it's gonna overflow and that's bad. That's, like, the opposite of toxic positivity. And "you" don't want to hear yourself saying "I can't do it anymore, please help me", right? Just rely on the singer now before it gets too bad!

I guess you could say that sounds like a savior complex, which is definitely a way to read the song:

If someone tells you you're wrong, Even when you're not wrong at all I won't support anything that denies you You can take the opportunity to hold me close and you can share the burden of your worries with me You say it's embarrasing, but I'm embarrased too, you know! Don't laugh and say this isn't like me, It's my answer to meeting you. Rely on me, rely on me, please

Yeah, the "rely on me, rely on me, please" certainly feels a bit too desperate.

However, I still feel it can be read more charitably. Listen, this song was written as a theme song for a collaboration with a theme park named Yomiuri Land (Source, it's in Japanese but Google translate gives you the idea). There doesn't need to be a hidden horror here. While again, it's perfectly fine if you read it as a savior complex or something else, I personally see it as completely innocent positivity.

The line about both of them being embarrased by what's going on is very sweet. No big meaning there, I just like it.

So the singer either does or doesn't have a savior complex; at least they find quite a bit of happiness in helping others. If you're wondering about Miku shedding a tear in the artwork, it's probably a tear of joy from "dancing with the stars." In my personal opinion, there is no hidden horror in this song, it's just a really nice optimism anthem! The only way this would be horrifying at all is if it were being sung by, like, an abused cult victim or something.

... Oh.

Yeah this is where we acknowledge that, even though the original song may not be hiding anything too horrifying, it's being covered by Amane fucking Momose. And nothing this girl does ever fails to make us sad.

So, Amane here has the same "I want to make other people happy" attitude that we see in Magic.

[Magic] Only if, only if, only if I could be a good girl I hope, I hope everyone can be happy and smile Forever, forever together would be a dream

She's even called something akin to "Happiness Support Sister" in the credits. Amane wants everyone to be happy, that's ultimately her goal in everything she does. The thing is that the concept of "happiness" has been so horrendously twisted by her cult that a lot of the time it shows in a very... uh... concerning way.

Timeline 23/01/17 Amane: Happy birthday.Mahiru-san. How is your body feeling? Mahiru: ……ah, Amane-chan. Thank you. Yeah, I’m fine. Now I can move around if I use a wheelchair…… It’s all thanks to Shidou-san looking after me…… Amane: I’ll give you one warning. The two of you are dabbling in something tabooed. If you continue to go against the way of nature like this, you’ll just bring an early death upon yourself. Think hard about this. Mahiru: Amane-chan……? Are you really Amane-chan……?

Like, technically speaking, Amane is trying to make sure Mahiru stays happy. As in, not dead. She does something similar with Fuuta. Notably, she's only shown herself really hostile towards Shidou, who she dislikes for reasons even beyond the whole medicine thing. Long story.

But since this is Trial 1, she's likely not really speaking to anyone in the prison. So, who is Amane talking to? The most straightforward answer is that she's talking to her abusers, more specifically her mother probably. Because they are the "everyone" she's talking about in Magic; Amane thinks that if she can make them happy, she'll stop being punished and thus she'll be happy too.

Of course, this paints the entire song in a horribly grim light. Because now the singer's pleas to be relied on are Amane asking her abusers what she needs to do to make them happy.

You can take the opportunity to hold me close and you can share the burden of your worries with me You say it's embarrasing, but I'm embarrased too, you know!

The "burden" here may very well be the things Amane does """wrong""", so Amane might be asking what she needs to change.

Question: What do you think happens when "it overflows"? When Amane's abusers are frustrated at something? Not Amane, just anything in general. How do you think that goes? In a lot of cases, chid abusers will find any excuse to """justify""" hurting their child when they're frustrated by literally anything. That means it's very possible Amane now tries to make sure her abusers are happy all the time, because it's the only way she can think of to avoid being hurt.

"I need to make sure I don't mess up the words I want to say" sure reads a lot more sinisterly when "messing up the words" could end up with Amane being seriously hurt.

Yeah like that.

If someone tells you you're wrong, Even when you're not wrong at all I won't support anything that denies you

And this definitely reads like something she'd say about the cult. She won't support anything that denies the cult or their doctrines, you don't have to worry about that! Please don't hurt her.

The chorus is a bit strange with this reading, since what the "dearest dreams" are is very debatable. It's possible it's just general positivity without referring to anything in particular, but if it is something specific, my best guess would be "following the cult's doctrines and going to [heaven or equivalent]". Apart from that, again, the other stuff is kinda sinister under this reading. "Yeah, focus on the good stuff! Don't worry about the sad things! Please don't get mad! Please please please don't get mad and hurt me!"

But the thing about "chasing the dream" being following the cult's beliefs makes the "we can't stop" line really mortifying. Originally that's just "we shouldn't let our doubts stop us in our dreams!" but now it's "we can't stop following the doctrines because horrible horribe things will happen if we do!"

[The Purge March] If you become a bad girl, monsters will come out This is the magic that stops that from happening

And wanna know a """fun""" little detail? I haven't been paying much attention to differences between the og songs and the covers, but Amane gets special treatment.

I invite you to listen to the "we can't stop" line from around 2:18 - 2:19 minutes into the song both in the original and in Amane's cover. In the Miku version, that's sung pretty much the same as every other time. However, in the Amane cover, it's sung in a noticeably different way. It's hard to describe, because it sounds a mix of exhausted, resigned, depressed, something like that. Think of it like this: if the rest of the song sounds like Amane is singing with her Trial 1 sprite, this one line is sung like her Trial 2 sprite. So:

Stuff your heart full with all your dearest dreams! Go for broke on all the things you wanna do! “We can’t stop” Is this a good feeling? Or is it no good after all?

Or translated for Amane:

"Follow your dreams of being a great follower and going to heaven!"

"Do all the things God tells you you should want to do!"

"We can't stop, can we? Even if it hurts, even if we are unhappy, we have to keep following that dream. Because horrible things will happen if we don't. And even if we try to change, then what was it all for? What did you hurt me for? There has to be a reason. Please tell me my suffering isn't meaningless. God will save us in the end if we keep doing this, right? That's the only thing I have left to hope for. We can't stop"

"Ehem- Doesn't it feel good?"

Or maybe I just like Amane angst a bit too much.

Anyways, that's the main takeaway from Positive Parade in my opinion. There is another way to read it, though, which I think is equally interesting. Mainly, that she might be singing it to herself, right before killing her mother. The "dreams" would be killing the mom, with the one more sinister "we can't stop" being there because it's a somewhat sinister dream. The "light in the dark" is a future without abuse I guess? The whole "rely on me" thing does come off as a bit weird, unless you go the "council of Amane" route and/or read it with the idea Amane has DID and then it just sounds like an alter, which would be something. "I won't support anything that denies you" and her mom did deny her... the issue there is that Amane also denies herself a lot of "vulgar" pleasures because Gozake ordainment. I don't think it works perfectly because of things like "I forbid you from pushing yourself too hard", but it's still a valid way to read the cover!

Anyways, hope you're not crying too hard! Take care!

#milgram #amane momose #positive parade cover

32 notes · View notes