#because she’s a Miller through and through blood relation be damned

[amysteryspot]

I can take it - Leonard Miller x Reader

Gif by: @retromafia

Summary: When a mission turns the wrong way, Leonard has to intervene to get (Y/N) out of danger and that pushes them both over the edge.

Fandom: Anna (2019)

Pairing: Lenny Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: [NSFW/+18] - vaginal fingering; vaginal sex; masturbation; mentions of violence and injuries; swearing; English is not my first language and this wasn’t prooferead.

Word Count: 2725

A/N: Lily asked and I’m here to deliver. Have to confess that writing smut for Leonard wasn’t something I had planned for my birthday (the plan was writing for Tommy), but I kinda liked it.

I edited it in, like, five minutes because I wanted to post, so be gentle with me.

(Y/N) = Your Name | (Y/L/N) = Your Last Name

◄ PREVIOUS PART | LENNY MASTERLIST ►

Leonard wasn’t sure what happened or why he had kissed her in the first place. It was a win of the moment, something he didn’t see coming. One moment they were arguing and the next his lips were on hers. What he does remember is that she looked too damn good while changing her clothes without even bothering that he was there. The fire in her eyes, the rage in her tone of voice, everything just pulled him in.

He expected her to push him away, not pull him in. (Y/N) met him in fury and hunger—her grip was vice-like and lips unforgiving. Lenny threw caution through the window then, bringing her flush against him, getting lost in the taste of her mouth and the feeling of her skin. But they apparently had a trend of being interrupted, and he almost swore when his pager went off, leaving her with a promise and the image of her wicked smile to get himself by until next time.

And next time took a while to happen. (Y/N) got assigned to another mission, something that was supposed to take three months but ended up turning into six. All he knew about her was the info he got from her superior and the few times they bumped into each other when she sneaked into the building to make her reports. On those rare occasions, it was obvious that whatever had started between them that day was brewing to a boiling point.

Everything came crashing down when he was called in the middle of the night for an extraction—(Y/N) had been exposed.

Saying he didn’t care about her would be a lie—he cared for all the agents that had worked with him—but the feeling inside his chest when he made his way to the surveillance van was something different and he didn’t know how to name it.

“What happened?” he asked James as soon as he entered the van, sitting down on a chair and trying to understand the situation through the videos displayed in front of him.

“One of our agents was caught and let it slip that he wasn’t the only one,” he explained, “she isn’t compromised yet, but it’s a matter of time until they join the dots.”

“Have you contacted her?”

“No, she has a listening device on her, but other than that we don’t have a way to reach out to her unless she’s back at the house.”

“Fuck,” Leonard cursed under his breath, picking up one of the headphones to listen to the conversation.

He observed as she stood there, next to Jones, not even flinching when one of his henchmen threw a punch at the guy strapped to a chair a few feet ahead of them. Leonard sighed, remembering what she said to him, about this being a difficult job. He had been working at the CIA for a while, he knew how things could be stressful, dangerous and emotionally exhausting. Over the years, he had a good number of agents working under his supervision, and Lenny always liked to be close to them during the missions. But one thing was analyzing reports and survey their work, putting himself in their shoes was another story. Trying to understand what they had to go through, truthfully, was a task he hadn’t tried in a while.

Of course that he knew what it felt like to put his personal life on hold because of the job. Here he was, at the close end of forty, no wife, no children, no one in his life that wasn’t related by blood or very close strings of loyalty and friendship. Working on the field was dangerous, no matter what you were doing, but working undercover took things a level higher.

He knew of some agents who managed to have a personal life, but most of them lived alone. Balancing a personal life while having to pretend to be another person, sometimes 24/7 was tricky. Leonard knew of some undercover agents that had a hard time going back to their normal lives after some missions, he just had chosen to ignore that part of his job. It was easier to deal with things.

(Y/N) had brought his attention back to it. Back to the struggles that could come with her job and how he had neglected to acknowledge it when it came to her.

“Barsad is coming in,” James said.

Leonard straightened his back, leaning in to observe things more closely. Barsad seeing her there wouldn’t be a problem, he was the one that recommended her to Jones, after all, but it could give them a good excuse to get her out of there.

“Okay, that’s our cue. Send the team in, we’ve got the perfect excuse because Barsad is being monitored. We can take her back to the Agency under the pretense of her involvement with the organization. If they already know about her, that’s okay, if not, we can maintain her cover.”

James nodded, sending the command for the other agents, while Leonard observed the action.

Shots exchanged, people, running away, chaos. In one second his eyes were on her and in the next, she had disappeared. He hadn’t thought of the fact that running away would seem like a good option for her since she didn’t know she was in danger.

"Where is she?” he asked, to nobody in particular.

“We’ve got her,” one of the agents answered over the com.

Leonard sighed in relief, something that would have sounded like work-related worry, but he knew well enough that it wasn’t.

When he arrived back in the building (Y/N) had already been brought in and was currently at the infirmary. He tried not to think about the fact as his colleagues congratulated him on the good work and Leonard tried to get away from them to check up on her.

She was already being discharged when he got to her. The nurse was giving her some meds and instructions, that gave him time to take her in and assess the damage. There was blood on her shirt, not enough to indicate a serious injury, but enough to make him worry. She was all dishevelled, her hair was a mess, but she seemed okay, aside from the bandage on her right arm and some scratches on her face.

(Y/N) thanked the nurse and turned to walk away from the infirmary when their eyes met. He couldn’t pinpoint if the tension between them was because of what had just happened or if it was just the breaking point of the past few months. She stopped briefly before continuing her path, which would, inevitably, pass by him.

“You alright?” He casually asked, clearing his throat when she came closer.

“Yeah,” she assured, “ just a scratch.”

“It looks like more than a scratch,” he pointed at the bandage on her arm.

She rolled her eyes, walking past him, “nothing you should worry about.”

Following her, he chose not to fight over it. He frowned when she took a turn to archive rooms. She opened a random door and pulled him in. Leonard grunted, surprised, as she pushed him against the door, attaching their lips.

He heard the clicking of the lock, and then her hands were all over him. For a second, he forgot that she had just been rescued in the middle of an undercover mission and had almost taken a bullet because of that. The hunger in her kiss was enough to take his mind off of everything, but his mind was brought back to the important things when his fingers brushed the bandage on her arm and she flinched a little.

“(Y/N),” he murmured, trying to get her attention, “(Y/N),” he repeated firmer a second time, cradling her face in between his hands, “you’re injured.”

“I don’t care,” she answered without blinking. “It’s been too long and I’m tired of dancing around it, so drop the pretense and just fuck me.”

Leonard could feel the blood flowing in the opposite direction of where it should.

As if sensing his struggle, (Y/N) brushed her lips against his.

“I’m not made of glass, Miller. So don’t treat me like a porcelain doll.”

The heat of her body so close to his, the game they have been playing for the past few months, the knowledge that he was alright after all the mess she had been caught in the middle of hours ago, it was all too much for him to process at once.

“Don’t think,” she said, bringing him back to reality, “I can take it. I Will let you know if I don’t.”

He wasn’t even sure if he needed more convincing, but her words sold it for him. Leonard grabbed her by the waist, bringing her flush against his body, one of his hands finding the hem of her shirt and sliding under it, touching her skin.

(Y/N) shivered from the coldness of his hands and he took the opportunity to seal their lips.

Her fingers tangled themselves into his hair, making him growl in approval. The feeling of her fingernails on his scalp felt too good, as did her mouth against his.

When she trailed her lips down to his throat, Leonard took the opportunity to change their positions and press her against the door.

“Take it off,” (Y/N) demands, tugging at his jacket to bring it down his arms.

He complies, getting rid of the piece and throwing it into the ground at the same time that she does the same with his tie. Leonard opens the buttons on the wrists of his shirt, rolling up the sleeves to his elbows, before kissing her again.

She let out a heavy breath as his lips made their way to her neck, and then down her breasts. The sound that comes out of her lips is addictive and Leonard gets himself searching for a way to hear it again.

He feels (Y/N) tugging at his hair impatiently to bring his mouth to hers again. Lenny can’t help but smirk at her eagerness.

“Don’t get cocky, Miller.”

“Then stop giving me reasons too.”

Before she can’t protest, he kisses her, hands roaming through her back, tracing her ribcage, brushing against her breasts, until he pushes up her blouse and starts to caress her nipples through the thin cotton of her bra. (Y/N) sighs, struggling to keep quiet. He pushes one of his knees in between her legs to keep her in place, feeling her fingernails dig into his shoulders when he pushes down her bra, her head falling back to rest at the door and eyes closing when he brushes his thumbs against her nipples.

Satisfied with himself, Leonard starts placing featherlike kisses along her neck and collarbone, scratching his teeth into her skin. (Y/N) grinds down onto his thigh, searching for some kind of friction that could bring her some kind of release.

“Enjoying yourself, (Y/L/N)?”

Her eyes open slowly to stare back at him and then he feels the friction of her leg against his crotch and has to suppress a moan.

“Are you?” she asks mischievously.

She was going to be the death of him, one way or another.

Tired of the teasing and all the built-up tension between them, Leonard spins her around so her back is pressed against him while she braces herself on the door. His fingers are quick in unbuttoning and unzipping her jeans, hand slinging into her panties and heading between her legs.

Another sigh is pulled out of her lips when his fingers part her lower lips, his index fingers exploring the area before concentrating on her clit. She curses under her breath, right hand quickly wrapping against his wrist to keep it where she wanted as her head falls back to rest on his shoulder.

Leonard smiles to himself but she doesn’t notice. It amazes him that even in a situation like this she wasn’t afraid to take exactly what she wanted.

He played her, not as slowly as he would have wanted given the circumstances, making her come undone with his fingers deep inside of her, enjoying the way she panted while riding off her orgasm.

“Just fuck me already, Miller” she exclaims, one hand sneaking itself in between them to struggle in unbuckling his belt.

Amused, he fished a condom from inside his wallet and helped her open his pants and drag it down alongside his boxers to his knees, trying to convince himself that he was taking pity on her and not himself after all the grinding against him while he was fingering her.

While he puts the condom on, (Y/N) drags her jeans and panties to her ankles, widening her stance the most she can, hands flat against the door. He grabs her hips, pulling her against him, taking his time to drag his cock against her entrance before sliding into her.

The two of them let out a heavy breath at the same time, adjusting to the feeling before Leonard starts thrusting into her.

He doesn’t know if it’s the rush of adrenaline of the mission, the recklessness of having sex in a place where they could get caught at any minute, or if it was just because of her and that smart mouth that made him lose his balance every time, but the feeling of her around him was overwhelming.

“Common, Miller, don’t hold back,” she teases, walls clenching around him at the same time she pushes back against him.

Leonard’s fingers dug deeper into the flash of her hips, surely leaving bruises as a souvenir. In attention to her request, he quickened his pace, thrusting hard and fast into her. By the way, she panted, head falling forward and hands closing into fists, this was exactly what she wanted.

When she lifted her head, he took the opportunity to nuzzle against the side of her neck, nibbling her earlobe and breathing against her ear, “like that?”

(Y/N) moaned as he gave a particularly hard thrust, moaning in agreement before pulling him into a kiss by the hair.

“Yeah,” she breathed against his lips, “just like that. Ah.”

He sneaked a hand in between her legs, rubbing circles against her clit.

The hand that had been on his hair flew to hold his wrist again, and she seemed unsure about pushing his hand away or keeping it in place. (Y/N) put her forearm against the door, resting her head in it and changing her stance, making him hit deeper into her.

“Fuck”, they cursed together.

Leonard knew that she was close, her walls starting to flutter against him.

He couldn’t decide what was better, feeling her come apart on his cock or seeing it.

Her head was turned slightly to the side, so she was able to look back at him through heavy eyelids. Her mouth fell open in an ‘o’ shape, no sound coming out of it as her fingernails dug against his wrist.

It didn’t take long for him to follow her into the bliss, as he kept thrusting into her to ride out her orgasm and her walls clenching against him, Leonard came with a grunt, head falling forward to rest against her back, not moving for a moment so they could catch their breaths.

After letting go of her, so the both of them could rearrange themselves, he was surprised to hear her laughing.

Seeing his confused expression she explained, “If I knew sex would be the only time we would agree on something I would have suggested it a long time ago.”

Rolling his eyes, Leonard bent down to pick up his jacket, putting it on. Before he could reach past her to open the door, (Y/N) grabbed him by the lapels of the jacket pulling him into another kiss, one that was slower and less hungry than the ones they shared before.

When she let him go, her eyes searched for him before she brushed her thumb against the side of his mouth, blinking slowly before turning away and leaving the room without another word.

He knew that that kiss was probably the closest thing she could do to thank him for having saved her.

Taglist: @stressedandbandobessed7771 @captivatedbycillianmurphy @internalmess3 @theshelbyclan @caelys @peakyxtommy @giowritess​

[I’m tagging everyone because I honestly don’t remember who asked to be tagged in what, and since this is Cillian related, I, in a very Tommy Shelby fashion, thought: why not?. So if you’re not interested in something just let me know.]

◄ PREVIOUS PART | LENNY MASTERLIST | NEXT PART ►

#lenny miller #lenny miller x reader #lenny miller imagine #lenny miller fanfic #anna (2019) #mysterywritings #amysteryspot

[joshjacksons]

Joshua Jackson interview with “Irish Independent”

It was during a childhood visit to his granny’s house in Dublin’s Ballyfermot that Joshua Jackson smoked his first cigarette.

“My memories of those visits to Ballyfermot are quite sweet really,” the Dawson’s Creek actor recalls. “I was always running around with the neighbourhood kids, getting into trouble. Not bad trouble, just little-kid trouble. Although, technically it’s where I smoked my first cigarette, so that in itself isn’t the sweetest memory.”

Jackson’s handsome face surges with deep laughter lines and quiet dimples at the mention of mum Fiona’s home turf. “She might prefer I’d say she was from Chapelizod”, he jokes, before proudly pinning his mum’s allegiance to “Ballyer”.

Was the young Canadian treated like a shiny, exotic object by the local kids? “I was a bit, but I became less exotic the older I got. Culturally, I was so far away from an Irish kid but in a little pack of children, everyone finds their level. It also helped that I had my own cousins, my own blood, around with us. I had that family connection so I never felt too exoticised.”

An entry on his IMDb profile suggests his late grandparents Rosemary and Patrick were opera singers in Dublin, indicating that performance runs in the genes. The actor seems unaware. “Mum tells me they used to sing to each other a lot. My grandparents lived in council housing with a little kitchen out the back, garden right outside, and they would sing to each other through the window as he was out pottering about while she was cooking.

“But he was known more as a snooker shark around Ballyfermot. And my grandmother, she was known as a sainted mother of seven.”

Having welcomed his first child, Janie, with his wife, the actor Jodie Turner-Smith, last year, it’s obvious family is paramount for 43-year-old Jackson, as he Zoom-calls from a rich hotel suite with dark wallpaper and plump cushions in the background. It stems from an evident bond with his mum, whose presence lovingly peppers our conversation. Just 16 when she left Dublin, Fiona Jackson travelled through Paris, Amsterdam and Geneva before embracing the vibrancy of London’s Swinging Sixties and ultimately making for Vancouver in her early twenties.

In an entry on her blog, she speaks of falling for “the spectacular beauty of snow-capped mountains and the Pacific Ocean” and ultimately scoring an entry-level position at a Canadian talent agency. It led to a career as a successful casting agent, working on film classics including Carnal Knowledge with Jack Nicholson and McCabe & Mrs Miller with Warren Beatty and Julie Christie.

She met and married Joshua’s father, John Carter, and the young family moved to Los Angeles. Sister Aisleagh was born shortly before John walked out on the family, leaving a profound effect.

“My father, unfortunately, was not a good father or husband and exited the scene,” the actor disclosed last year, before adding it’s something he “will never get over”.

Young infants in tow, Fiona returned to Vancouver and, having found early success in casting, helped contribute to the foundation of the burgeoning “Hollywood North” industry on the Canadian west coast.

Accompanying his mum on set, young Joshua’s interests were piqued. “She introduced me to this world and saw from a young age that I enjoyed performing in a way that kids do. She allowed me the opportunity to step into her work world, but it was also very clear that it was work.”

He appeared as an extra on MacGyver and as a child actor’s double in The Fly II, and Fiona could see her son’s talent and genuine desire to impress. So she allowed him to audition. However, permission came with strict caveats.

“I don’t think my mum would have ever put me anywhere near the entertainment industry if I didn’t have something to offer to it. And not just for myself; she’s a prideful woman and didn’t want to be embarrassed by her kid.”

Casting 1991 melodrama Crooked Hearts with ER’s Noah Wyle, Fiona gave Joshua a chance to shine. Impressing the filmmakers, the then-12-year-old secured the part, setting him not only on a path to stardom but away from the troubles of his teen years.

“My mother gave me the guard rails I needed at that time and also recognised, being a working single mum and with me a young boy, transitioning into a teenager, I needed structure in my life. I needed something that I was passionate about and had a respect for, because I was kind of a typical teenage disaster.

“I look back on those times in my life and the two parallel tracks I was running on. On the one hand, getting into all sorts of trouble and, on the other hand, my professional life, where I showed up and learned my lines and did my job in order to be respected by the adults I was around. If I hadn’t had that professional side of my life, the other side would have taken over, and Mum saw that. Who knows where I would have ended up?”

So Jackson was a full-on teen delinquent? “Yeah, I was, to a certain extent. It was relatively innocent — nobody died — but I was a teenage boy who didn’t have a father in the home, didn’t have a man to be scared of, frankly, and as a teenage boy, I think that helps. My mum had to work and she wasn’t always in the house so I learned to get into more and more trouble. I got into just enough trouble to have a good time and learn some lessons but if I hadn’t had my work life, I might have tipped over into the kind of trouble that you don’t come back from.”

Three decades in and Jackson remains one of the hardest-working, most recognisable actors in the game. Hitting pay dirt at 18 as Dawson’s Creek’s Pacey Witter — the wisecracking, teacher-bedding antithesis to James Van Der Beek’s beleaguered titular drip — the actor was a revelation: the soul and bite of a seasoned character performer in the guise of relatable poster-boy idol.

Teens swooned, so did the industry, and alongside Van Der Beek, Michelle Williams and Katie Holmes, Jackson had Hollywood at his feet.

A string of popcorn offerings followed — Cruel Intentions, Gossip, Shutter, Cursed — some quality, others derivative, with the small screen ultimately best utilising his skills. A five-season run on sci-fi series Fringe was followed by an outstanding turn on Showtime’s The Affair. Last year, he maintained a brooding presence opposite Reese Witherspoon and Kerry Washington in Little Fires Everywhere. And this year, he takes on arguably his darkest work yet in Dr Death.

The new miniseries is based on the non-fiction podcast of the same name, and Jackson portrays Christopher Duntsch, a former spinal surgeon who maimed 33 patients owing to gross malpractice while operating in hospitals in Dallas and Fort Worth, Texas. Two of these patients lost their lives. Convicted in 2017, Duntsch is currently in prison and serving life imprisonment. He still maintains his innocence, with his defence arguing that he was merely a bad surgeon, not a criminal.

Exuding a simmering malevolence, the actor showcases Duntsch’s disturbing complexities and terrifying behaviour as a narcissist and sociopath with a keen insight. Did Jackson meet with Duntsch? “I wanted to, but that was going to be really difficult because he’s appealing his case and his lawyers would’ve advised against it. And as I got deeper into the materials and podcast, and got a better understanding of the man, I don’t think it would’ve helped because he still really believes he’s the victim of his own patients, and the lawyers and the legal system. I’m not sure asking a liar for the truth gets you any closer to the truth.”

When it came to the victims, Jackson wanted to maintain a respectful distance. “I didn’t need to drag them through those awful memories again and I’m always a little dubious about asking people to delve into the worst moments of their life just to satisfy my curiosity. The questions had already been asked thanks to the podcast.”

Dr Death came at the right time in the actor’s life. New baby daughter Janie offered a crucial respite from the intense, and often dark, six-month foray into Duntsch’s malignant psyche.

“Inhabiting Mr Duntsch was an ugly space to live in for six months. If I’d been coming home to an empty house every night, it would have been a pretty bleak existence. It was so much better to come back to a loving home. My one-year-old doesn’t give a damn what I was doing that day. She just wants to be loved and hugged and cuddled, and it was the perfect antidote when some days were particularly heavy.”

Recently Jackson confessed that the Dawson’s Creek cast won’t be returning for a retrospective reunion like the Friends stars did earlier this year. “If you put our mid-forties selves together on a couch now, with our creaking backs, it might shock people.”

Quizzed on an actual reboot of the drama, Joshua reckons he’s simply too old to replicate the iconic rapid exchanges of dialogue between the garrulous young characters. “We were like The West Wing for teenagers,” he laughs, referencing Aaron Sorkin’s hit political TV series, also infamous for speedy script delivery. “My 43-year-old brain couldn’t do a show at that pace. Back then, we were doing seven, 10 pages a day and, to deliver dialogue at that speed, you have to have a certain mental capacity for that, and I don’t have it anymore. That’s the real reason why we’re not doing a reunion — I’ve become too dumb to keep up with that script.”

He remains in touch with his DC co-stars, including Holmes, his one-time girlfriend of two years. There’s even a text chain. “It goes through spurts every once in a while. I’ll have a bunch of messages on it and then it’ll go dormant. We’re like college friends — there are moments we’re all in contact and then long, fallow periods as we get on with our lives.”

While maintaining a busy slate, Jackson’s overwhelming purpose continues to circle the women in his life. Turner-Smith is currently shooting a new movie with Adam Driver and Greta Gerwig, so he’s assuming full-time dad duties. It’s an equitable arrangement given the flexible needs of their individual commitments, and one he appears content with.

#joshua jackson #dr death #dawson's creek #fringe #the affair #jodie turner smith

[honeyopinion]

20/20 Albums of the Year

Circles by Mac Miller  |  Hip-Hop, Soul, Funk Released: January 17, 2020

Best Album For... Pouring One Out for Mac

I wrote a few different drafts of this album summary, and none of them felt like they really fit the impossibly large bill of accurately describing the posthumous importance or brilliance of this album. If you are a fan of hip-hop or soul music of any kind, try to give this piece of work a chance. I for one, used to judge Mac based on his early frat rap days in the late 2000s. But a decade later he came to leave the world with one of the most surprising and frankly impressive artistic evolutions that I’ve been able to witness in real time. RIP Mac. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora 

Start With: “Circles” or “Everybody”

Marigold by Pinegrove  |  Alternative Country and Folk Rock Released: January 17, 2020

Best Album For… Passing Through a Small Town on a Cloudy Winter Day 

Pinegrove was one of the last great concerts I got to experience before the pandemic. And it was my favorite performance of theirs from the last 6 years of seeing them play live. Is this my favorite album of theirs? Honestly, it’s not. But I still find it extremely enjoyable, and the memory of seeing these songs performed live, along with some of their classics, was enough for me to include it on this list. This is an album that marks Pinegrove’s exit from their pop punk roots. It’s still sentimental, but much more country and folk rock focused vs. anything trying to be associated with emo or punk. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora   Start With: “The Alarmist” or “No Drugs”

Watch This Liquid Pour Itself by Okay Kaya  |  Synth Pop, Art Rock, Folk Released: January 24, 2020

Best Album For… Crywanking at 3am, Bathed in The Dull Light of Your Overheating Laptop

What if Feist and Father John Misty had a secret love child? They might sound something like Okay Kaya. Self proclaimed “Singer ~ Crywanker,” Okay Kaya brings serious BDE to weirdo art pop that she seems like she could be a plant  from the mind of Nathan Fielder. Kaya delivers with such deadpan precision as she rolls out line after line of sarcastic joy, staring blankly at our dystopian reality. “Here I am, the whole world is my daddy,” “Netflix and yeast infection,” “Sex with me is mediocre,” “I just want us to do well like Jon Bon Jovi’s Rosê,” and, “My parasite and I are blushing / In the zero interaction ramen bar,” are just a few examples of some of her memorable and biting lyrics. The entire album is both a critique and nihilistic fondness for the absurdity of our lonely technological society, not quite sure how to deal with taboos like repressed female sexuality, depression, and codependency. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Baby Little Tween” or “Asexual Wellbeing”

UNLOCKED by Denzel Curry and Kenny Beats  |  Hip-Hop Released: February 7, 2020

Best Album For... Nodding Your Damn Head To, Feeling Cooler Than You Actually Are

I had to double check that this was an album. Clocking in under 20 minutes, this collection of songs feels more like an EP, especially with the track titles that purposefully look like file names and placeholders. But for a short album, Denzel wastes no time, furiously zigging and zagging effortlessly over Kenny Beats’ 90s New York-indebted production (ad libs and all). Kenny pulls out samples of an array of pop culture references made by Denzel (like quotes from movies and weapon sound effects like a lightsaber) — as he rotates his flow between admirable impressions of DMX, Nas, and Joey Bada$$.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “So.Incredible.pkg” or “DIET_”

Cardboard City by Zack Villere  |  Pop, Electronic, R&B Released: February 14, 2020

Best Album For… Pal-ing Around With Your Friends From High School, Maybe Quoting Superbad At The Same Time

The first time I watched a music video from Zack Villere, I noticed the top comment said: “how did frank ocean get trapped in mark zuckerberg.” And while that definitely gets at the heart of how Zack Villere presents himself, he is not a phenomenal singer like Frank Ocean is, nor does he come off as an asshole like Mark Zuckerberg does. I would say that he is just a slightly awkward nerdy white guy who loves hip-hop production and R&B melodies. So the better question is really, “how did drake get trapped in michael cera?” This premise should not work at all, but somehow it does. This is only Villere’s second album, but he shows some serious production and songwriting chops, plus a commitment to his delivery that comes across as genuine, charming, and unique. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Grateful” or “Superhero Strength”

The Slow Rush by Tame Impala  |  Psych Rock, Synth Pop, Disco Released: February 14, 2020

Best Album For... Throwing a Silent Disco For One 

Tame Impala continues on their now 10 year streak of psych rock dominance. Along the way we’ve seen Kevin Parker master and stretch the boundaries of psychedelic production. This has resulted in his music coming as close to sounding like the best aspects of The Beatles, while also expanding into hip hop drums, R&B hooks, plus more and more electronic elements. This is an album that I was not super impressed with when it initially came out, but as we entered the pandemic and were tasked with finding small joys in staying at home all the time, I found myself going back to this album and appreciating the themes of solitude and self reflection that Parker has drawn from throughout his career.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Posthumous Forgiveness” or “One More Hour”

1988 by Knxwledge  |  Hip-Hop Released: March 27, 2020

Best Album For... Pumping Your Brakes and Driving Slow, Uh *Homie* Although this album is named after a year in the 80s, the sound here is a perfect portal back to 90s golden era hip-hop, with all the gospel, soul samples, and the kind of deep bass you want to feel in your chest. This is the rare, largely instrumental hip-hop album that I find myself going back to, other than works from the legendary J Dilla and MF Doom. Knxwledge is good friends and a frequent collaborator with Anderson .Paak (in the form of NxWorries). Here we get Anderson to grace us with his presence on the track “itkanbe[sonice]”, and of course it sounds just like an authentic vintage soul sample. When I hear this collection of songs it makes me wish I still had a car, so I could inevitably damage my speakers listening to this.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “dont be afraid” or “thats allwekando.”

Future Nostalgia by Dua Lipa  |  Pop, R&B, Funk, Disco Released: March 27, 2020 Best Album For... Alarming Your Pet With Your Enthusiastic Lip Syncing

This album is a pure sugar rush. Like Bruno Mars with the help of Mark Ronson, or Calvin Harris a few years ago, Dua has harnessed a nostalgia (it’s even in the title, wink) for disco, funk and R&B, and is instantly a sexy, catchy, not-so-guilty pleasure. It’s sad that the majority of these songs are all bonafide club hits that didn’t have a proper home this year … except for my living room. And hopefully yours.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora 

Start With: “Pretty Please” or “Future Nostalgia”

Hold Space For Me by Orion Sun  |  Alternative R&B and Hip-Hop Released: March 27, 2020

Best Album For... Wishing Frank Ocean Was Your Dad

“Alternative R&B” is a contentious term, but what else would you call one of a few R&B singers cool enough to make it onto (NYC indie darlings) Mom+Pop Records?? On one hand, she brings the vulnerable and introverted lyrics of an indie singer songwriter like Tracey Chapman, crossed with the raw presence and sweet melodic delivery of a true R&B star like Aaliyah. I’d even go far enough to refer to her as the musical stepchild of Frank Ocean and SZA.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora

Start With: “Ne Me Quitte Pass (Don’t Leave Me)” or “Lightning”

You and Your Friends by Peach Pit  |  Indie Rock and Dream Pop Released: April 3, 2020

Best Album For... Going Back To Your College Town To Crash A Party

Peach Pit seem like they would be cool dudes to hang out with. You have no problem picturing them as the band playing a house show in an indie movie about college kids. And that’s because there’s a familiarity to the scenes that their songs portray, of stumbling through your 20s, either being too dumb or having too much fun to notice. It’s funny to refer to this as “Indie” rock since this is Peach Pit’s major label debut with Columbia Records. But It has all the trappings of Indie; sticky melodies, gentle reverb, an “I’m not trying that hard” vibe, and lyrics that are oddly specific enough to be interesting, but still vague enough to be relatable.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Feelin’ Low (Fuckboy Blues)” or “Shampoo Bottles”

Heaven To a Tortured Mind by Yves Tumor  |  Psych Rock, Indie Pop, Post-Punk, Alternative R&B, Experimental Electronic Released: April 3, 2020

Best Album For... Tearing Up The Fucking Dance Floor With Your Hot Robot Girlfriend

If Tyler the Creator, Alex G, King Krule, and Blood Orange all got into the studio together and dropped a shit ton of acid on Halloween, their recording session might sound something like Heaven To a Tortured Mind… And even then, you still might have trouble putting your finger on exactly what you’re hearing. “Dream Palette” is a good reference track for Tumor’s most wild and mesmerizing qualities. The biggest styles of the past half century of music have been loaded into this gleefully effective genre blender, with blades of dissonance slicing everything up, creating a surrealist sonic smoothie.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Super Stars” or “Dream Palette”

The New Abnormal by The Strokes  |  Indie Rock, Dirtbag Disco, Synth Pop Released: April 10, 2020

Best Album For... Mixing Yourself Another Drink This Saturday Night

Back from the dead, The Strokes return with their first album in 7 years to turn some heads and settle back into some old habits. The charming messy haired garage rock of the early 2000s still pops up here and there, but this is really a record where the group is mature enough to show you that they actually are trying, and are unafraid to take joyous swings for the fences. Julian Casablancas pushes his scratchy alley cat yelp of a voice into something more vulnerable, sunny, and sweet, like he asked for a piña colada (you know, with one of those little umbrellas) instead of a double shot of scotch before hopping up on stage… Or maybe he did both. But these days, everyone is looking for some sort of break from our groundhog day lives any way that we can. Sometimes that sounds like selling out, or depending on how you look at it, stepping up. This album is the result of a group of old friends who got together to make music they simply want to make for themselves. Now far removed from the 2000s New York scene where their younger selves were acting too cool and disaffected to care about having fun.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Eternal Summer” or “The Adults Are Talking”

The Loves of Your Life by Hamilton Leithauser  |  Indie Rock and Alternative Country Released: April 10, 2020

Best Album For... Drinking Down At The Docks, Watching The Sun Set

While I am a fan of The Walkmen, I have no idea what their frontman Hamilton Leithauser looks like or how he dresses. But hearing these songs off of his latest solo, I imagine the following: a member of Mumford and Sons if they were edgy and cooler, giving off a “cowboy rocker meets depression-era dock worker” aesthetic. That’s exactly how his music comes off to me. It’s a convincing blend of blues rock, Americana, and old timey country music. All expertly narrated by dusty country guitars and standup bass, tarnished horns and flutes, and what I imagine to be a restored saloon piano. The Loves of Your Life originally started as a collection of short stories, each about characters based on both people he knew and strangers. Leithauser then wrote the music separately, and finally came to mix and match their parts together in a surprisingly convincing fashion to create the album.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Wack Jack” or “Cross-Sound Ferry (Walk-On Ticket)”

What Kinda Music by Tom Misch and Yussef Dayes  |  Neo-Soul, Electronic, Hip-Hop

Released: April 24, 2020

Best Album For... Cooking For Someone You’re In Love With

Exactly what kind of music do Tom Misch and Yussef Dayes make? It’s orchestral, it’s jazz-infused, it’s hip-hop beats joined with gentle soul. It’s a little sexy, it’s a little mysterious, and you’re going to want to listen to it a whole lot. That’s it. That’s what kind of music it is! Send tweet. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “What Kinda Music” or “Storm Before The Calm”

Petals For Armor by Hayley Williams  |  Electronic Pop and Art Rock Released: May 8, 2020

Best Album For... Browsing Depop for Your Next 80s Normcore ‘Fit

Hayley, Hayley, Hayley. You are too good for this wretched world!! After exploring more adventurous sounds and genre hopping over the last few Paramore records, Hayley decided to go out on her own. This really frees herself from the expectations that come along with being the face and heart of a wildly popular band for the last 15+ years. Thom Yorke fans rejoice, because Hayley Williams has a clear admiration for Radiohead’s haunting indie electronic vibe, while emoting some pain and darkness atop her love for 80s pop and art rock (think Genesis, Devo, The Talking Heads). This is a promising new avenue for Hayley to explore herself and process her pain and desire completely on her own. I see this new project of hers only blooming further from here.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora 

Start With: “Simmer” or “Sudden Desire” 

Set My Heart On Fire Immediately by Perfume Genius  |  Indie Pop and Art Rock Released: May 15, 2020

Best Album For... Daydreaming That You Were Somewhere Else

For his 5th studio album, Perfume Genius enlists production wizard and guitar god Blake Mills, along with Grammy Award-winning arranger and multi-instrumentalist Rob Moose to create a beautiful swirling mosaic of 80s pastel pop that also packs serious classic rock grandeur. Bass guitar dances between satin smooth lines on one song to churning distorted currents on the next. Sparkling string arrangements and organs bleed together to expose a fading sunset that you’ll want to try and hold in your hands to keep it in sight. Perfume Genius is unafraid to challenge traditional masculinity, packing a 21st century queer machismo into both the quiet moments and jubilant explosions.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora 

Start With: “Without You” or “Describe”

græ by Moses Sumney  |  Indie Pop, Art Rock, Neo-Soul, Psychic Folk Released: May 15, 2020

Best Album For... Astral Projection 101 

I mean this in the best way possible, but I think that Moses Sumney is a witch. Or maybe a wizard? There’s no other reasonable explanation for the level of creativity and wonder that he summons. This album feels like a private concert by a waterfall (similar to one on the cover), with ethereal pleas, and heavy ideas—like meditating on what lies beyond the constraints of the physical self and reconsidering how well we can actually trust memory and the mind. Sumney layers his voice to create the effect of a ghostly choir, accented by a stark intimidating falsetto that reverberates through the ruins of an abandoned temple where Sumney is the only one in attendance.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Cut Me” or “Polly”

WILL THIS MAKE ME GOOD by Nick Hakim  |  Psychedelic Neo-Soul Released: May 15, 2020

Best Album For... Playing Pool in a Hazy Dive Bar

Nick Hakim is a silky smooth smokey crooner who paints with warbly piano loops, dreamy reverb-heavy guitar, boom bap beats—not to mention a falsetto that would make Smokey Robinson jealous. Clearly a fan of Motown and 60s jazz, Hakim could be considered a peer of Thunder Cat and Anderson .Paak’s to a degree. I remember seeing him perform at Music Hall of Williamsburg a few years ago. The performance ended with him falling down on stage (presumably from being under the influence of multiple substances). But while the song continued he popped back up and belted an impressive high note like it was nothing, drink in hand. And it’s that kind of messy beauty that also makes this album so engrossing. Like watching the eye of the storm get closer and closer, but unable to look away from the sheer magnetism that nature can wield.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  Start With: “All THESE CHANGES” or “ALL THESE INSTRUMENTS”

RTJ4 by Run The Jewels  |  Hip-Hop Released: June 3, 2020

Best Album For... Making Your Next Protest Sign

Run The Jewels’ fourth outing might be the most unapologetically angry rap album in the “fuck this” year of 2020. And it reminded me that I should absolutely still be furious about everything that happened during this groundbreaking yet terrifyingly familiar year: country wide protests over the continued murder of innocent black people at the hands of the police, government drone strikes and detaining kids in cages, the state of our environment worsening—and that’s not even addressing the pandemic or election. Killer Mike and El-P are here to scream from the rooftops that our current system of cutthroat capitalism and white supremacy is killing the planet and its inhabitants, and I’m glad that they’re using their platform to continue to sound the alarm.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “out of sight” or “ooh la la”

Your Hero Is Not Dead by Westerman  |  New Wave Revival and Indie Pop Released: June 5, 2020 Best Album For... Wanting Your Old School MTV

The cover of Westerman’s first proper album is mostly black and white, except for the title, which is scrawled out in lettering which spans the Crayola color spectrum. It’s an album that on the surface is cold and buttoned up, but when these choruses open up, the maximalist 80s power pop bursts like the bulbs of a neon sign. There’s a level of even-keeled cool and confidence in small moments on display here that makes this relatively new artist seem well beyond his years. Having seen him play at Rough Trade a few years ago (opening up for the stellar Puma Blue), the songwriting growth on display on this record is impressive. I’m only sad that there wasn’t an opportunity to have seen him play these new songs live.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora 

Start With: “Easy Money” or “Confirmation (SSBD)” 

Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers  |  Indie Rock and Alternative Country Released: June 18, 2020

Best Album For... Burning Incense and Breaking Out a Ouija Board to Talk to The Ghost of Your Former Self

This is without a doubt, a career defining release for Phoebe. Taking everything she’s learned from writing, performing, and touring with the likes of Lucy Dacus and Julien Baker (in boygenius), and Conor Oberst (in Better Oblivion Community Center), Bridgers levels up to become the truly prolific singer-songwriter she’s been telling us she would always be. Bridgers has explained her personal definition of “a punisher” as a well meaning person who’s, “just talking to you and they don’t realize that your eyes are glazed over and you’re trying to escape.” Vital to understanding this album and its central message is that Phoebe finds herself caught between the contradiction of falling victim to this phenomenon while also doing it herself, especially if she ever met her musical idol, Elliott Smith. Punisher serves as a warning to her audience that if you focus too much on trying to find yourself through other people (via escaping through fandom, drugs, toxic relationships), you’ll always feel lost and dissatisfied, without the proper self awareness to ever quite know why. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Garden Song” or “ICU”

Women In Music Pt. III by HAIM  |  Rock, Pop, Folk, R&B Released: June 26, 2020

Best Album For... Preparing For A Better 2021, lol 

With this album, HAIM skyrocketed to the #1 position of family bands that start with an “H.” Sorry, Hanson! But seriously, HAIM has outdone themselves on this one. If there was one album from this list that I would dub my personal AOTY, this would be it. You might wince at any tracklist longer than 10-12 songs these days (I know I usually do), but almost every song proves itself worthy, pulling at a different thread of my heart until there’s nothing left. Sunshine State Beach Pop? Check. Blues Tinged Dad Rock? Yup! Dive Bar Country? Mmhmm! No, wait, what’s that you say, Glitched-Out R&B? Yes, yes, and yes. You can have it all, sister! ‘Cause when you’re Haim, you’re family! ;) And these three “women in music” continue to prove that they are just about the best Assorted Pop Rocks(™) act in the world right now.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “I’ve Been Down” or “Don’t Wanna”

Lianne La Havas by Lianne La Havas  |  Neo-Soul and Indie Pop Released: July 17, 2020

Best Album For... Sipping Coffee and Journaling on a Weekend Morning

This album exudes a warm vulnerability, like a comforting hug we all needed this year. On her third album, Lianne La Havas makes the risky decision to self title it, a move that artists make when they believe that it is the piece of work that they most want most directly associated with their name. It’s one thing to name your first album after yourself if you can’t think of anything else at the time, but to make a self titled album in the middle of your career, it means that you are sure about having captured who you really are and who you want people to remember you as. “If I love myself, I know I can't be no one else,” La Havas admits on the standout track, “Paper Thin.” She knows that she will meet her destiny and reach self actualization, but only through self love. And finally, I cannot overstate how breathtaking La Havas’s voice comes across on this album. The strength and control on display in her vocal tone and vibrato is quite a spectacle. 

Spotify      Apple Music     YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Paper Thin” or “Sour Flower”

Limbo by Aminé  |  Hip-Hop and R&B Released: August 7, 2020

Best Album For... Trying and Get Over Kanye With

On Limbo, Aminé establishes himself as one of the torchbearers of soul-sampling, lyrics-driven hip-hop that still cares about storytelling, skits, and presenting vocals clearly. Kanye West, Drake, and J. Cole all paved the way for someone from the next generation like Aminé to keep the dream alive and avoid succumbing to the “feel good, don’t think” form of passive listening that mumble rap has made the standard for mainstream hip-hop.

Spotify      Apple Music     YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Pressure In My Palms” or “My Reality”

Shore by Fleet Foxes  |  Folk and Indie Rock Released: September 22, 2020

Best Album For... Running Along The Beach With Your Arms Stretched Out

It was really kind of Robin Pecknold and co. to have released an album this triumphant, calming, and awe-inspiring during the year of our Lorde 2020. On behalf of myself and anyone else who suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder, the SAD people of the world really needed this, man. And to anyone who is quick to judge these beard-o’s of being boring, you’re simply not using your ears properly. Yeah, you know those two things on either side of your head? Get the gunk out of them! That way you’ll hear the choir of angels with acoustic guitars who are here to guide us through quarantine and beyond. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora 

Start With: “Can I Believe You” or “A Long Way Past The Past” 

Listen to all of these albums together in our playlist.

#best music 2020 #music 2020 #best of 2020 #best albums 2020 #best new album 2020 #mac miller #pinegrove #okay kaya #denzel curry #kenny beats #zack villere #tame impala #knxwledge #dua lipa #orion sun #peach pit #yves tumor #the strokes #hamilton leithauser #tom misch #yussef dayes #hayley williams #perfume genius #moses sumney #nick hakim #run the jewels #westerman #phoebe bridgers #haim #liannelahavas

[fandom-necromancer]

451. Holding everything in doesn’t help, you know.

Shoutout to the amazing anon prompting this! Your other story will be up tomorrow!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900

‘Good morning, tin-can’, Detective Gavin Reed greeted him without making eye contact, as usual. Nines looked up from his work, the little jabbing program in the back of his head starting to act up again upon the conclusion that the uttered statement was [dishonest] and [human is lying]. ‘Good morning, Detective. How had your weekend been?’ ‘Fine.’ [Subject is distant]   [Doesn’t speak the whole truth] Nines nodded and got back to work. He had to go to a Cyberlife store soon and get this checked. Something had to be wrong, because with every word out of that human’s mouth he sensed lies and withheld words. A behaviour like that simply wasn’t natural. Maybe for a day or two, Nines supposed someone could handle it. But three months? Clearly some code had to be faulty.

A message popped up in his vision, informing him of a crime scene that called for their attention. ‘There had been a suspected drug related murder’, he reported dutifully to his partner. ‘We are to leave immediately.’ ‘No, I didn’t even had-‘ The detective cut himself off as Nines had turned towards him attentive to every word. This time they didn’t scream [human is dishonest]. ‘Alright, I’m coming.’ The human stood up and put on his jacket. ‘May I inform you that you haven’t had your morning coffee yet, detective?’ The man tensed and held it for several seconds, before letting out a deep sigh. ‘I know, toaster, it’s fine.’   [human is lying]

The drive to the crime scene was silent. Nines knew it was normal to discuss what they knew about the scene, but the detective wasn’t one for banter. So, he prepared one of his usual monologues: ‘The body was found today at 6:43 AM by garbage collectors in an industrial park. As I was informed there aren’t any signs of a murder on the body, but there were traces of red ice and a message left.’ ‘Oh god, will you shut u-‘ Nines looked over to his partner at the uncommon reaction, but before he could say something, the human corrected himself: ‘I’m sorry. Continue.’ Again, it was dishonest from the bone. ‘Detective, if you’d rather drive in silence and examine the scene for yourself, I can stop.’ ‘No! No, no, I’m fine, I don’t want to stand in your way. Just get on.’ [lie] ‘Okay… Well, there is a message on the wall above the body, Cyberlife font but not perfect. Maybe trying to blame androids for the murder?’ ‘We are there’, the detective interrupted and parked the car lazily at the street.

He almost fled through the opened gate in the fence and followed a beat cop already waiting for them. The woman led them through a jungle of pipes and brick-walls, maybe it was a chemical plant. Nines didn’t look it up, he was preoccupied hurrying after his partner.

He caught up to him as they arrived at the scene: True to Nines’ description there was a dead body, a middle-aged woman, leaning against a wall and a pipe. The ground was covered in tiny red crystals that turned blue where they came in touch with water puddles from yesterday’s downpour. No obvious signs of foreign interference, no blood, no needles, no reminders of handprints or rope at the throat. She looked like she was sleeping. Above her head there was near perfectly written: Pay your debts.

The detective was already on his knees, inspecting the crystals on the ground. ‘There is no pattern in the distribution’, Nines helped and saw the man flinch but say nothing, moving on to the body. Nines dipped a finger into the red dust and brought it to his mouth. The familiar results came in near immediately. ‘Red Ice.’ Gavin was already looking at the woman, crouching down once more to study face and throat, then hands and clothing. Meanwhile Nines looked up her file. ‘Her name is Susan Miller. Married, no children. No history of drug abuse, at least none documented. Works at a local news channel, no peculiarities at record there. Uploads photos of a bird regularly on social media. At least from her file there is no motive for a murder.’ He had noticed how the human had increasingly tensed while he was speaking. Nines immediately recalled what he had said, searching for a reason for this behaviour but found none. So, he continued: ‘The writing on the wall appears perfect, but there are little waves at the corners, evidence of a slight tremor or malfunction. Not enough to eliminate the writer either being human or android.’ Still, the crouched down human wasn’t answering, silently inspecting the findings in her pockets. A wallet with a bunch of cards, some money and pictures of her husband and the bird. Some keys, one for a car, one that looked like fitting a front door. Some handkerchiefs. Pepper spray. ‘The spray had been used at least once’, Nines supplied from his analysis. ‘I will try to find out whether that was here.’

He crouched down, getting samples of the ground around the dead woman, but stopped as his partner got up and walked away without a word. ‘Detective!’, Nines called out for him, but there was no reaction. He got up, recalling his recent memories. Why was the man acting so strangely? With everything he had done he had intended to help. There was a reason, androids were flooding the police. They could see things humans couldn’t. Nines would stand for it without pride or a feeling of superiority. There was also a lot, humans could do that went far over an android’s head. Especially working with detective Reed Nines experienced it nearly every day. He really liked working with the man as he was efficient and not hindered by compassionate emotions. The only thing standing between him and a successful cooperation was this behaviour the man was displaying: No more speaking than the barest minimum, every direct question answered with something he knew wasn’t what the man wanted to say. And he decided that this had to end that moment, standing next to the dead body of the poor woman.

He started running to catch up to his partner and found him sitting behind the wheel looking the other direction. Clearly waiting for him but not voluntarily. Silently, Nines entered the passenger seat, but as the man wanted to reach for the gear-knob, Nines grabbed it instead, looking at the human with determination. The detective met his eyes, flinching at the contact and immediately his left hand was at the door-handle. Nines scanned the human opposite to him and realised for the first time that this was a reaction of fear. Of course, he had never noticed it. He wouldn’t have thought the man to fear anything after seeing him in action with no regards to his own safety, only having the mission in mind.

Nines averted his eyes and let go of the knob, strangely regretting that the human was afraid of him. What had he done to frighten a man like Reed? Of course, he could be frightening. He had been designed to be. But he had always tried to be gentle and helpful. ‘I’m sorry, detective.’ ‘What?’ ‘You seem to be afraid of me.’ ‘No I’m not!’ ‘You are lying right now.’

There was silence. ‘I detected you lying to me repeatedly, always saying something you didn’t mean or trying to cover something up that slipped past your lips that you did mean. I… I asked myself what I did wrong all the time, but now I know. I am sorry to frighten you.’ ‘You don’t frighten me’, it was quietly uttered, as if ashamed. But it was true for once and Nines looked up again, studying the human that had crossed his arms over the steering wheel. ‘Then please tell me what I’m doing wrong. I can see your stress levels spike whenever you are talking to me, but you never tell me what causes that. I can ask for a transfer, if you want. Though I really enjoy working with you.’ ‘It’s nothing, I can handle it.’ ‘You are lying again. Holding everything in doesn’t help, you know.’

‘Fine, okay!’ Suddenly there was anger. Anger Nines hadn’t seen before, as if it had been chained deep inside his partner and only now set free. ‘I never asked for a partner. I was perfectly fine being alone. And then I get a phcking machine! A damn Connor 2.0! You know I would have rather learned I’m replaced by a bot than work with one! You perfect analysing dipshits, scrolling through people’s social media and finding out every little detail we thought to be well hidden. What will the world come to once our metal overlords slowly take everything? When our worth is determined by machines? Phck, I hate your kind. Always had and always will. And if you want to punch me unconscious for this too, like your damn doppelgänger did to show me my place, then fine, do it! It won’t change who I am! You would have to kill me for that!’ Nines looked at the human surprised and confused. He had never expected… What had Connor done? He accessed the precinct’s surveillance database through the android network and searched for anything that would explain what happened. As he searched, there was a groan coming from the human as he slumped down again. Finally he found a file. Gavin threatening Connor for illegally entering the evidence room. And moments later ending up on the floor unconscious. A heavy blow to a proud man’s ego. It made Nines re-evaluate his relationship to Connor and his approach to the human next to him.

‘I would never harm you, detective’, Nines said carefully. ‘I wouldn’t even think of it.’ He paused, expecting the human to intervene and shut him up. But detective Reed stayed silent. Without being able to see his face, Nines couldn’t find out whether what he was saying had an impact. ‘And I definitely don’t think humans are of any different worth than androids. I disagree of humans being superior. But so I do with androids. We are equals. I wouldn’t have taken the job if I replaced a human. I don’t know what Connor thought as he did this to you, but I don’t think it was justified. I know nothing I say will change your opinion on androids, but please look at my actions when judging me, not other’s.’ ‘Fine, asshole, I’ll judge you by your actions: You always act like you know phcking everything. As if a human can’t get to the conclusion that a pepper spray was used before! Shit, then the ordering around. New crime scene there, we are to go here… Bullshit! We are not partners! You are the perfect detective and I’m the burden you have to bring along because technically you have a partner. Don’t you tell me we are equals!’ ‘But we are? You are not a burden. You don’t speak to me at all, how should I have known what you found out? I just thought to help you by stating everything I could see. And I never intended to order you around although I see I might have phrased some sentences really weirdly. I’m sorry for that. But you have to tell me that, how else should I know?’ ‘Hmm yeah and end up drooling on the floor again? No thank you!’ ‘That’s not healthy.’ ‘Yeah, well, phck you! I only have my eight hours with you, then I can relax again.’ ‘But it doesn’t have to be like this. I can assure you you can always tell me. I promise you I’ll never harm you. We are partners, we are supposed to protect the other. And I need you. I agree, I can analyse samples and see more at a crime scene than a human. But you are far more advanced in finding a motive and thinking like a killer would. You have social skills I would never manage to develop in my active time. I need your skills and you need mine. And that’s how it is supposed to be. If you have problems with me, you can tell me.’

There was a heavy sigh. ‘You can’t tell me you need me. That’s bullshit. When did you ever needed me?’ ‘Every talk to witnesses or family members of victims, you lead. I couldn’t be compassionate if my life depended on it. I’m too analytical for it. And take this case for an example: I suppose you already have a hunch?’ ‘…Yeah.’ ‘I don’t. I know there is not enough evidence yet. But you already have an idea to follow for the next steps. That is one of your most amazing qualities.’

They still sat in the car, twenty minutes after leaving the crime scene. ‘So, how about we start over and you talk to me as if I were a human partner that in no way had a chance at overpowering you in a fight?’ The detective had risen his head over the wheel again, maybe Nines had managed to get through to him. ‘I think I could try that.’ ‘That’s good to hear, detective.’ ‘The name’s Gavin.’

#detroit become human #dbh #Reed900 #Gavin Reed #RK900 #Gavin gets decked ONCE in his life #Gavin: I have severe PTSD and can't talk to androids #I had a severe headache writing this and I hope there is nothing weird or wrong in the first half XD

[bellamygateoldblog]

best and worst relationships?

There’s a lot of varables to consider here, and I’m feeling sick and bored out of my mind, so i’m going the long way round. This is a nightmare to read on mobile, im so sorry.

‘Best’ and ‘Worst’ labels depend on a number of things:

— Story of the pairing

— General intrigue and how enjoyable their dynamic is to watch

— Chemistry of the two (or more) characters

— Presence (or lack of) valuable relationship qualities (is this relationship healthy according to the world it exists in?)

and the importance of each of those differs from person-to-person.

Note: Sticking to popular relationships. I’ve blocked names, but I’m also throwing it under a Read More because it’s long and negative. It’s largely anticlarke because she’s a terrifying character and her mere existence derails most of her dynamics. Ship and like whatever you like, I hate fandom gatekeeping. But you asked so let’s go.

There’s also no order to this. Welcome to chaos land.

Best ‘Best’ List: objectively good relationships

— Linctavia

— Marper 

— Spacekru

— David and Nate Miller

— Raven and Sinclair

Unconditional love, mutual respect and support, found family, would die (and live) for the other. I can’t find fault in them.

Memori

I had a bit more to say about this one because there’s something so highly romantic in two people abandoned by their clan, cast out, finding each other in a literal desert wasteland. Like they’re each other’s oasis. In meeting Emori, Murphy finally found acceptance after spending far too long alone, and being told he was worthless by people who’s approval meant something. And Emori having someone prepared to do whatever it takes to protect her and make her happy is everything I could’ve wanted for her. They’re so deeply in love.

Best List

Becho (pre-season six)

Your local enemies-to-lovers. partnership over co-dependency. Compromise. Affection and emotional support from both sides. Willing to throw themselves right into line-of-fire for the other. A cut ‘i love her’ scene which i’ve personally decided wasn’t cut. I LOVE THEM.

Arguments against:

- ‘killed’ Gina (moreso she aided her death) while acting on orders from her superiors

- ‘killed’ Octavia while acting on orders from her superiors

- killed Ilian/ attempted to help Roan win conclave over Octavia

- almost killed Clarke (season five)

- happened offscreen

Arguments to discredit previous arguments because I’m sick and tired of seeing them in the pro tags:

- Echo was Bellamy’s enemy through those first three listed events. Bellamy had no reason to expect loyalty or respect, or anything else from her. She was always looking out for her people just as Bellamy was his own. That was quite clear.

- In fact she actually tried to help Gina because she was important to Bellamy, apologised that she couldn’t and did save Bellamy’s life despite their enemy status.

- ‘killing’ Octavia was not in cold blood. It was actually an accident.

- This one is nonsense. She wanted to kill Clarke during season five “even though she’s important to Bellamy”…after she just left him to brutally die and held Echo and her family at gunpoint and threatened to kill them. Context matters.

- not a fan of the time jump either, but if you’re able to accept the Madi-Clarke relationship which also developed offscreen, you can deal with this one.

Hard to talk about this one without defending it. Echo deserves better than season six Bellamy, who would abandon her in order to chase a woman he knew for 6-ish months 6 years ago. I say it’s his loss.

Jonty

It was a beautiful relationship and then a beautiful breakdown of one. I really enjoyed their dynamic. About to get controversial and suggest Monty could’ve taken a different approach with Jasper. I’ve never committed genocide and had to learn to live with it while watching my best friend suffer from the decision, but I do have clinical depression and somewhat relate to Jasper. There was this scene, where in the background you see Jasper go to hug Monty goodbye and he avoids it. It was such a small but sad detail. I felt Monty wanted Jasper to deal with his grief in a certain way and got frustrated when he didn’t. Sometimes he could be insensitive and blaming, and i think had there been more communication their friendship could’ve been very healing for the both of them. I think we learn at one point Jasper actually thought Monty was “fine” and didn’t even realise or understand that Monty hurt too. Jasper had this tendancy to only consider his own feelings, and this put a rift between them. Tough love doesn’t work for everyone, and I think Monty’s sometimes cold approach held that rift in place. The simple fact that both sides are so easy to understand and empathise with, and that this gradual undoing of what was once an incredibly strong bond was inevitable, made watching it all wonderfully bittersweet.

Zaven

This was good, but it was so rushed it made me bitter towards them. While it was Raven being thrown with yet another random guy, this did strike me as much more meaningful than her fling with Wick and I think it would’ve been a lovely relationship had it been able to continue. I think this was that love Raven deserved. It’s a damn shame it was used as just another level of torture for her. I think if they had let it develop more naturally and not been so full-on so soon, and of course if the actor hadn’t opted to leave the show, this would’ve been up on my best ‘best’ list.

Dropping this here: being intelligent isn’t actually important when pairing Raven up. Fandom acts like she needs someone “on her level” or “at her speed” (shudders), someone to challenge her, which has always come across as very demeaning of characters with less intellectual capacity, as if they’re less than Raven because of this when they are absolutely not. This mentality also denies Raven of partners that can value her and treat her well just because they aren’t Stephan Hawking. A romance isn’t a competition or a class project. Shaw was good for her, not because of what his brain could do, but because of who he was.

Bellamy and Octavia

This bitch toxic, YEET. I adore it. I really do. It’s such an intriuging and complex dynamic. The poisonous nature of their relationship is neither of their own faults, they’re both a victim of their own circumstances and, in Octavia’s case, a lack of socialisation and, by extension, non-understanding of grey area is also intrinsicaly linked to it. They truely love one another, but aren’t learned in how to show this in healthy ways. Makes that back-and-forth an entertaining watch.

Main grievance:

Beating your brother bloody while he’s chained down and unable to defend himself against you is disturbing and inexcusable in any context, and whether or not you’re grieving is irrelevant.

Neutral List

C//exa

Placing this one here just because i don’t care about this relationship, but did like bits and pieces. I think this one ended before it even started. For me most of it’s appeal is in the gradual moulding of the dynamic and the many phases it went through. I did find intrigue in that journey. However the fact the show reminds me at least a few times a season that Lexa was the one has me digging my heels in. I hate being told what to think.

I don’t really remember it all that well so I don’t necessarily have strong opinions. I know some people do. At this point in the show I was growing more and more annoyed with Clarke, and eventually i went from liking Lexa to being indifferent to her, so a dynamic consisting of them both was the least interesting thing in the world to me by the time it started heating up.

I will say this is probably one of the only significant relationships Clarke has where she doesn’t ultimately have more power than the other half. There isn’t a mechanism there that allows one to use to do harm to the other to advantage themselves; Lexa is the commander, but Clarke is constantly pushing back and Lexa respects and listens to what she has to say. There is literally a shot of Clarke backing the most powerful person on the ground into a table. I think Clarke was a positive influence on Lexa, but during this time Clarke was slipping into worse and worse versions of herself.

Some thoughts:

I found it was innappropriate for Clarke, as a leader of her people who’s primary concern is supposed to be what’s best for them, to have become romantically involved with the commander of the people they hadn’t a stable relationship with, and who ultimately has the power to strip them of all freedoms. It’s so easy for those romantically and sexually charged feelings to cloud and confuse what are extremely important considerations to be made about the people back home. It wasn’t a very responsible relationship.

On the flipside of that, from this relationship Lexa was convinced to grow into peace. Which is quite obviously a positive affect. Though I found it was odd that Clarke, just a random teenage girl from space, would be (successfully) telling the commander how to manage her people when she herself was not at home overseeing the climate of her own. It just has some very weird implications.

Lexa’s betrayal at mount weather, actually a very silly and counter-productive decision, was what forced Clarke to lose her humanity in what was the most traumatic event of her entire life. The fact it was forgiven so easily was hard for me to get over.

M//rphamy

Season five was good for them. It seemed as if they’d grown, were much closer, more respectful, and more affectionate. Then season six happened, and Bellamy was back to treating Murphy like he was beneath everyone. He started again to talk about how therapeutic it would be to hurt him, as he has, physically, many times in the past. Just tearing open old wounds at this point. In season five he reminded Murphy he wasn’t worthless, that he did belong with the group, but in season six he went back on all that, and put Clarke ahead of him at every turn, and prioritied her feelings over his very real pain. They’ve had a complicated history of violence, usually coming from Bellamy’s more hot-headed side.

I put this here because it’s an immensely compelling dynamic. These characters work well together, there’s heaps of chemistry and allure in each of their interactions. It’s just an entertaining time whenever they share scenes. But despite that, I don’t know where I stand with them and I don’t know where they stand with each other as of season six.

Worst List

Be//arke

There is a mess of negative thoughts inspired by this relationship about proportionate to the amount it’s shoved in my face. Clarke is just no good for Bellamy. Is the concise way of putting it.

Here’s a list of some of them which I usually like to bury deep inside my head for sanity purposes:

Ignoring whether or not actions were for the people/the only option and focusing solely on how the relationship is affected by them regardless

- Clarke has a tendancy to view the most important person (pre-season five) in Bellamy’s life as necessary collateral damage. She has brought/almost brought harm to Octavia on multiple occasions, the two most notable being TonDC and the conclave. Both while being on the same side as Bellamy from a political standpoint, and both while his friend who he had reason to expect affirmation, consideration, and loyalty from. Clarke betrays those key values. This happens again in season five when Clarke’s Plan-A solution is to “take her out.”

( this is also what sets her apart from Echo, who was never in the position to make her own choices. Clarke has that agency and control that Echo’s superiors had, but never Echo. )

- and saying that, I think it’s incredibly hard for Clarke to maintain any meaningful relationships being in the position she’s in. How do you have friends when you have to always put them second?

- speaking of the conclave, Clarke held Bellamy at gunpoint in order to prevent him saving his sister’s life. She said she “didn’t pull the trigger” and that was that. All is forgiven. However she did pull the trigger in what was an attempt to scare him into submission so I really don’t even know what to say here. The writers kinda forgot?

- they aren’t equal. They haven’t been co-leaders since season one. He was demoted almost immediately to second-in-command beneath Clarke. Clarke is the leader, the literal head. She makes the choices while Bellamy gets her out of the trouble she usually gets herself into, risking himself and others in the process. It’s a racist trope. It’s the ‘white princess and her brown knight.’ She has agency and power and he’s her loyal soldier, subordinate. Inequality isn’t inherently a bad thing but this power imbalance between them is utilised in harmful ways.

- speaking of “the good knight by his queen’s side,” this comes across as codependency. Clarke relies on Bellamy’s support, validation and loyalty, while ‘the heart needs the head to tell it to beat.’ That’s paraphrased from season six, that’s an actual line in the show. Bellamy needs her to guide him, to “keep [him] centred,” that’s another line from the show. That’s still not enough? He literally tells us in season six that he needs her, and has needed her in the past if his psychosis episode is anything to go by. He has impeccably low self esteem and views himself less than. I mean if you need further convincing of they’re inequality, just look to their places on the ark which are quickly reinstated once it reaches the ground. Clarke is upper class, she’s later the daughter of the chancellor, she comes from a loving family, from one of (if not, the) more well-off stations, she’s educated and she has passions, but Bellamy? From the poorest ark station, raised by an emotionally abusive mother, a janitor, his whole motivation his entire life has been to love and protect Octavia. I think a lot of this devotion he has for her comes from a place of idolisation, of seeing something in her he wants for himself.

- now this ugly trope could also come from an absense of Octavia. The moment they get to the ground Octavia is on a journey of self-discovery. And eventually, she becomes her own protector, and she finds a home in Lincoln. So naturally Bellamy looks for the closest relationship he can find that resembles that old one. It’s Bellamy and Clarke. Now, instead of Octavia, he’s driven by and found purpose in protecting Clarke. In fact, the Clarke-Bellamy dynamic has so many similarities to the Octavia-Bellamy one I can absolutely see the sibling like quality to Be//arke.

- Clarke abandons Bellamy after mount weather. She leaves because she can’t bare the reminder of “what [she] did to get them here.” So she leaves and instead Bellamy is the one forced to see the faces of the 48 every day, reminding him of what he did to get them there. Clarke comes across as completely oblivious in this entire situation. Bellamy and Monty are both written using the word “we” to refer to the mount weather genocide, but Clarke? It’s “I” and “me” every time. It’s as if she truely believes she’s the only one suffering from it, she’s bearing it so they don’t have to, except that isn’t true at all and that fact is so painfully clear. Later she tells him she knew she could leave because the people had him, but who did Bellamy have? He dealt with that weight and that grief alone because the only other person who could possibly understand, the one who pulled the lever with him, ran away. After she had convinced him not to in season one. She then comes back informing him she’d been acting on behalf of her people in Polis, without the people’s own knowledge or consent, but i digress, and he’d just ruined everything. So much for co-leaders. And he blows up at her, and we see how badly this action hurt him.

- In season five she leaves him to die out of spite and took her daughter to the people he saved her from at the beginning of the season. It could’ve been avoided, but she decided to punish him. That’s all it was. Don’t give me none of that “I had to!!!” she screams in season six to mindspace!Octavia. Bellamy was forced into role of father at just 6 years old and has proved time and time again he was prepared to risk it all in order to protect his child, there was nobody more equipped to handle Madi than him and her yelling in his face that he couldn’t understand was perhaps the biggest betrayal of them all.

- In season five she tortured and almost murdered his entire family. After switching sides again at the end of the season, all this pain inflicted was meaningless. You can talk all you want at me about Clarke’s *reasons* but all she did was take the path of most destruction towards the same end-point. It was just unnecessary violence caused because she had this desperation to take the wheel.

- all of this works because the writing is always in Clarke’s favour. The show is framed in a way that makes Clarke sympathetic, emphasises how much causing others pain hurts her, and that means that she’s never held to any of these actions, she might get a stern talking to but she’s forgiven insanely easily and allowed to go on with no actual change.

Pr//ncess M//chanic

Unfortunately, from what i’ve gathered, there’s a lot of racism in this one just as there is in Be//arke. I mean the entire nature of the relationship relies on the elevation of Clarke and the narrative power to demote Raven to ‘second best’ and prop over and over again. Raven, a girl who works her ass off to make most of the victories in the show possible, actually spoke the words “she saved us again” after launching a pod from an exploding planet into space and fixing the ark while space walking. It’s mindblowing. Raven’s (and others’) successes are handed to Clarke on a silver platter and we’re just meant to eat that up and blindly accept that Clarke is our one true saviour. I’m not going into this because it makes me feel sick and Raven deserved better.

Unrelated thoughts:

I don’t see their relationship as friendly at all post-season two. I got the impression Raven actually didn’t like Clarke, but it was all very complicated.

I also think it’s terribly convinient Raven never found out the true nature of Clarke’s relationship with Lexa because I don’t believe she would’ve ever been okay about Clarke again if she had (if the writers were going for realistic).

Madi/Clarke/Abby

Clarke strapped a torture device around her daughter’s neck for means of control and activated it under the guise of protection and that isn’t okay in any world or any context. Madi is a little girl who is dependant on Clarke and Clarke betrayed that trust. Those shock collars were used on her early in the season, she experienced the torture herself and still used it on her child. A lot of Clarke’s more unfavourable and/or unhealthy behaviours and characteristic are also present in Abby, which leads me to believe those are a product of her upbringing. Like mother like daughter, Abby also electrocuted Raven. Abby and Clarke have this strange rival-like relationship and I find it particularly cold, maybe because they’re so similar.

Abby and Raven

Abby has physically harmed Raven more than once. Out of anger and spite, or out of desperation. People hurting each other on this show is pretty standard and while this isn’t as overwhelming a mistreatment compared to others, her hitting Raven while she was acting chancellor was a pretty gross abuse of power. Its a visual display, with Abby’s imposing figure looming over a sitting and emotionally vulnerable Raven. We’re supposed to view this, i think, as mother-daughter. Abby says very early season one that Raven reminds her of Clarke, but she’s never shown treating Clarke in the way she does Raven. I liked the relationship during season one. From then and with Abby’s slow descent into villainy, not so much.

Ontari and Murphy

*She raped him. Next.

Cl//phy

Clarke is a cause/reason, whether direct or indirect, of a huge chunk of Murphy’s suffering, all of which she’s never been held accountable for due to Murphy’s position as undesirable. I, along with Murphy, had to be told she cares about him in season six because her otherwise complete disregard for his life has been pretty apparent.

Notable mention:

Chaining up him and Emori like dogs and promising to sacrifice the woman he loves, against her will, for the greater good after he saved her life. He has to beg her, plead with her and her almighty god complex, and it’s all quite uncomfortable and eery. (She later draws a picture of this event in her sketchbook which is…kinda weird.) And, in true Clarke fashion, she refuses to accept responsibility for this action and hides behind the same old trend of gaslighting and screaming “i had to!!!” I can’t root for a friendship between these two no matter how fun their back-and-forth can be. Especially since I can’t recall a single time they’ve shared a nice moment. Oh, and here’s a post about why Clarke and Murphy will never bond over isolation and survival.

*The clashing of Ontari and Murphy’s personalities was hilarious and I enjoyed watching them on screen together.

#the 100 #anticlarke #antibellarke #anti princess mechanic #anti bellarke #finally free of this question #the100meta #tw; child abuse #tw; rape #ro.answers

[blodreina-noumou]

6x01, in quotes, emojis, and tiny rants

aka me liveblogging in one post as I rewatch for the first time since the leaks. it’s long so check under the cut.

(this episode was full of so many cute moments)

I know this show seems to take issue with letting characters grieve, but I cannot be the only one who was a bit disappointed with the way the news of Monty and Harper’s deaths landed on spacekru. “take an hour”? an hour?? and we don’t really get to see anyone’s emotional response other than Raven’s, and she immediately sublimates with some good old-fashioned space sex. I just wanted to really feel how important Monty and Harper were to spacekru. There’s a lot of acknowledgements of what they did, but they’re almost already being immortalized/deified by their friends, instead of seeing them process it on an emotional level

“now we get our humanity back” “some of us never lost it” 👏👏

“spending a lifetime alone with someone you love sounds pretty damn good to me” 😭😭

now that I’m rewatching this, I wish Shaw and Raven had gotten a chance to talk about anything but backstory. I always appreciate shout-outs to Becca, and they didn’t know it was their last few moments together, but still. there was so much build-up for them last season. that scene of them walking back in, hand-in-hand. something sweet and pure, gone too soon. 😰😰

“I’m told it doesn’t taste very good, but since it’s all I’ve ever eaten...” 😁😁

Jordan is pure and perfect. Shannon Kook is doing such an excellent job of adapting Harper and Monty’s mannerisms. The resemblance is so uncanny.

“I trust Monty”  😭😭

I know a lot of people are really upset that everyone is snapping at Clarke, but I’m just so relieved and satisfied to see them actually talking about things, not just plunging headfirst into more trauma and drama. These first few lovely moments of calm and recollection are very welcome, even if everyone is real cranky after their long nap. 😇😇

Echo knows the way to my heart and it’s unwavering loyalty and faith in spacekru

Raven’s curly hair with her little side braid 😍😍

🤩🤩🤩 PLANET ALPHA 🤩🤩🤩

“you should go first this time” “no, we go together. all of us” “anyone got anything better than ‘we’re back bitches’?” “monty would know what to say, he should be here” “he is” RIP MY GODDAMN HEART OUT

Does anyone feel like Raven’s stern but kind attitude towards Jordan is her evoking the same dynamic she and Sinclair had?  😭😭

The Raven/Abby dynamic so far this season is I C E COLD. I think Raven has every right to be angry. I also think she will have to forgive Abby eventually, once Abby proves she can stay sober and be a good person again. On the other hand, “what I did to you with the collar was unforgivable”

 “My mother may have been a drunk who sold herself for booze, but she never hurt me, she never used me, and she sure as hell never tortured me.” YAS RAVEN TELL HER  👏👏👏👏  but also I’m sad

The close-up shot of Octavia’s eyes and Niylah saying, “happy resurrection day” is a neat and sort of juxtaposed parallel to the 4x13 shot of Clarke’s eyes which reveals she survived Praimfaya - aka when Clarke was “resurrected.” the first of what I imagine will be many parallels drawn between Clarke and Octavia. but while Clarke and Octavia are both experiencing a certain isolation from everyone else, Clarke has Madi. 

❤️ ❤️ ❤️  THIS LAKE SCENE. STOLE MY HEART.  ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

“WHO KNEW COCKROACHES COULD SWIM” 😂😂

Bellamy’s little nod and smile to Echo like, “wanna jump in the water with them?” Becho is so strong and so good  ❤️ 

“We’re the aliens, by the way.” “Heh. ...oh my god! We’re aliens!” uhhh adorable, how did Mackson get even cuter??

Echo is the wisest damn person on this whole show. “Miller kept your sister alive, one day you’ll thank him for that.”

“Salvation comes from faith and good works. What you do, not what you say. You haven’t done anything yet.”

we all knew it wouldn’t stay peaceful and happy for long lol 🤷🤷

Okay I am going to write a separate post about Shaw’s death because I’m really pissed about it for a lot of reasons. I know it was likely due to behind-the-scenes reasons but from a story perspective, I’m really, really pissed about how it goes down.

ugh anyway moving on

Niylah ❤️ Niytavia ❤️ Niylah being the best ❤️

“The faster you fall off the wagon and kill yourself, the sooner we can move on” okay while I agree with and relate to how Raven feels, this was way harsh. she’s definitely got zero empathy for Abby at this point. it’s a tough balance.

I really love the spooky and fantastical atmosphere of the Sanctum reveal. like perfectly preserved abandoned theme park. colorful castle? check. cute and well-furnished homes? check. weird worship of the founder? check. it’s like disney land but dead. 🏰🌃🌑

they really went all out with the colors and geometric designs. this is a culture that values aesthetics. and the aesthetics seem to complement the murky, breathtaking atmosphere of Planet Alpha. I’m really, really into it.

“destroy the world, 200 years later they put you on a flag. see? hope for us yet!”

*Murphy finds some cuffs* “kinky” he really said that!! 😂😂

“All named Lightborne. They sent families.” “Nice to be remembered.” “Or worshiped.” In the business we call this foreshadowing!!

ugh okay on some level I do appreciate that Kane and Abby have been struggling and sacrificing for something like stability and peace for most of their lives, and they’ve had to make terrible choices and decisions,

but on the other hand hearing Octavia read them the riot act for their hypocrisy and their betrayal was the single-most satisfying moment of the premiere. she berated him back into a coma!! she’s that powerful!! 😍🤩

on the other, other hand, Kane also has a point. “you’re lost. you’re still lost.” y’all are gonna see just how lost she is next episode. 😔

I’m gonna have to write a separate breakdown of that scene, because even the placement of Kane’s blood splatters on Abby and Octavia seem significant. I’m probably over-analyzing it, but given how little screentime Octavia got this episode, I’m really impressed with what it does.

Raven’s little moment of hope, holding onto that bottle of pills that Abby gave her... 😔😔

🤬🤬 honestly, if Abby doesn’t pull through this season and hurts Raven even more, I’m gonna be campaigning for her untimely end 🤬🤬

things with the eclipse psychosis really ramp up next episode, so I’m going to reserve my theories about who is affected first and why

“The Murphy Show” while mildly unsettling, is also incredibly entertaining and it’s a huge treat to watch Richard Harmon ham it up 🎤❤️

“I wish Madi could’ve gone to school.” “I wish Octavia could have.” further cementing the validity of both Clarke and Bellamy as Parents!! 

“a little pathetic maybe, but it’s not crazy” “ha!” okay kids, joke it out, joke it out

THAT ENDING. okay it was somewhat tempered for me the first time around because I immediately started watching 6x02, but now that I’m gonna wait a week to rewatch the next episode...that’s a fucking intense cliffhanger 😵😨

this is SO long, if you made it this far please feel free to dump your theories/reactions/etc in my inbox or in the replies or in a reblog

in short

WE’RE BACK BITCHES!!

#6x01 #s6 #the 100 spoilers #the 100 reactions #stephspeaks #memori #becho

[impalaimagining]

Leaving Her Behind [2]

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: minor canon divergence I suppose, character death, mentions of hospitals and medical situations, angst

A/N: I used dialogue from the show. I do not own that or the rights to it. Written as part of a commission for @whimsicalrobots <3 

Unbeta’d and unedited because I’m impatient. Sorry for mistakes. I’ll fix them as I see them when I reread in bed later lol.

Series Masterlist - Masterlist

“Dean?” Sam squinted into the darkness. Dean just laughed. “You scared the crap out of me!”  

Dean grinned. “That's 'cause you're out of practice.” Sam grabbed Dean’s hand and yanked him, flipping him and pinning him down. Dean breathed a laugh. “Or not. Get off me.”

Sam moved swiftly to his feet, anchoring himself before pulling Dean up by the hand. They stood, looking at one another. “Dean, what the hell are you doing here?” 

Dean slapped Sam on his shoulders, shaking his frame and grinning. “Well, I was looking for a beer.”

The light flicked on, startling them both. “Sam?” Jess called into the room, her eyes barely open.

Both Dean and Sam whipped their heads toward the doorway. “Jess,” Sam inhaled through his nose, “hey. Dean, this is my girlfriend, Jessica.” Dean nodded, his tongue poking out and tracing over his bottom lip.

“Wait, your brother Dean?” Jess pointed.

“I love the Smurfs.” Dean smirked. “You know, I gotta tell you, you are completely out of my brother’s league.” He stepped toward Jess.

“Just, let me put something on.” Jess laughed nervously.

“No, no, I wouldn’t dream of it,” Dean took in a breath as he looked into Jessica’s eyes, “seriously.” Jess pursed her lips and looked beyond Dean, to Sam. “Anyway, I gotta borrow your boyfriend here to talk about some private family business, but, uh, nice meetin’ you.” He smiled a dimply grin and pointed to her. Jess sighed, locking her eyes with Sam’s.

“No,” Sam stepped to Jess in a single stride, lacing his arm around her waist, “no, whatever you have to say, you can say it in front of her.”

Dean turned to face them. “Okay, um. Dad hasn’t been home in a few days.”

Sam rolled his eyes a bit. “So he’s working overtime on a Miller time shift. He’ll stumble back in sooner or later.” He nodded.

Dean looked down, pursing his lips before meeting Sam’s eyes again. “Dad’s on a hunting trip, and he hasn’t been home in a few days.” 

Sam’s face turned to stone. “Jess, excuse us.” He and Dean disappeared out the door. “I mean, come on. You can't just break in, middle of the night, and expect me to hit the road with you.”

“You’re not hearin’ me, Sammy.” Dean glanced back over his shoulder. “Dad’s missing. I need you to help me find him.”

“You remember the poltergeist in Amherst? Or the Devil's Gates in Clifton? He was missing then, too. He's always missing, and he's always fine.” Sam chided.

Dean stopped in his tracks and turned around. “Not for this long. Now are you gonna come with me or not?” Dean furrowed his brows.

Sam raised his brows. “I'm not.”

“Why not?” Dean asked incredulously.

“I swore I was done hunting. For good.” Sam stood his ground. “Take Y/N with you.”

Dean didn’t know what he’d expected Sam to say, but it wasn’t that. “Wh- what?”

“I said, take Y/N with you.” Sam repeated.

“I - I can’t take her with me, Sammy.” Dean stuttered.

“Is she okay?” Sam frowned.

“I don’t - I - she’s at Bobby’s.” Dean stammered. 

“Well, go get her.” Sam reasoned.

Dean closed his eyes and licked his lips. “I left her at Bobby’s, Sam.” He sighed.

“You what?” Sam’s eyes went wide.

“Forget it. Listen to this.” Dean pulled out his phone and played the voicemail John had left him.

Sam concentrated, his eyes closing as the static crackled on the recording. “You know there's EVP on that?”

Dean smiled proudly. “Not bad, Sammy. Kinda like riding a bike, isn't it?” Sam shook his head. “So, you in?”

“Alright, yeah, I’ll go.” Sam nodded once. Dean threw everything back into the trunk and slammed it shut. “Where’re we headin’?”

You sat in your room at Bobby’s, staring at the hardwood floor, counting the lines in the woodgrain. 

“Y/N?” Bobby knocked on the door with a single knuckle.

“Yeah, come in.” You deadpanned, not looking up. 

“Dean gave me a call earlier. Told me to watch after you. Somethin’ I should know, kid?” Bobby raised his brows at you.

“No.” You snipped.

“You wanna try that again?” He retorted.

“You don’t have to worry about me, Uncle Bobby.”

Bobby huffed. “Dean wouldn’t call me and tell me to keep an eye on you for no reason. What happened?”

“I don’t know why the hell he’s worried about me now.” You scoffed. “He wasn’t when he decided to drop me to appease his father.”

“He what?” Bobby coerced.

“You heard me. John went missing, apparently.” You rolled your eyes. “Like he hasn’t ever pulled this shit before.”

“John’s missing, so Dean went and got Sam so the two of them could save the damn day again. Go pull John from his whiskey soaked sulking and bring him back here so they can get into a screaming match.” You huffed. “Sam’s been gone for close to four years, but I can guarantee you, nothing’s changed between any of them. They’re all so damn stubborn.”

Bobby hummed a breathy laugh. “Well, nobody can say you weren’t an observant little brat.” He gave you a smile. “I know Dean and you had somethin’ special. Everything okay on that front?”

“No offense, Uncle Bobby, but I’m not gonna talk to you about my relationship.” You let out a little giggle.

“I don’t want to know about your relationship. I just want to know if you’re okay.” Bobby shrugged. 

“I’ll be fine.” You dismissed. Bobby eyed you suspiciously. “Did you know the board under your right foot has twenty-seven lines on it?”

“Alright, you need some air. Come on.” Bobby grabbed your upper arm and pulled you from the room.

Dean glanced at his watch as his hand rested on the steering wheel. He and Sam had wrapped up the case in Jericho and Dean had returned Sam to his apartment Sunday night, just in time for his interview on Monday. 

Dean’s brow furrowed, the second hand on his watch stuck in place. He looked up at the road, eyes wide with realization, and pulled a quick U-turn, tires squealing as he made his way back to Sam.

Dean kicked the door in, shoving his way into Sam’s apartment, calling out his name. He found Sam, screaming up at a fiery version of what was Jessica. Dean ripped Sam from the bed and dragged him outside. Firetrucks and policemen came to the scene, an ambulance carrying Jessica’s charred remains away in a black bag. 

Sam stood at the back of the Impala, cocking and loading a shotgun as Dean walked over to him.

“Hey. How you doin’?” Dean’s eyes flicked up to Sam, worried.

Sam looked up, sighing as he tossed the shotgun into the trunk. “I’m fine.” He shrugged it off, not daring to look at Dean. “Come on. We’ve got work to do.”

It’d been nine months since you’d heard from Dean, so seeing his name on your phone screen threw you off more than any hunt you’d ever been on. You debated answering it as you drove down the long stretch of road. 

“Hello.” You all but barked into the phone. 

“Y/N?” Sam’s voice filled your ear.

“Sammy?” You pulled over immediately.

“Hey, I - I’m glad you answered.” Sam cleared his throat, trying to cover the break in his voice. “It’s, um - it’s Dean.” 

“Sam, what happened?”

You were back in Sioux Falls almost an hour before you should’ve been according to every law of physics and speed limit sign along the way. You ran in through the automatic glass doors, slamming your palms down on the front desk.

“Can we... help you, ma’am?” The women behind the desk gave one another a look before their eyes moved to you again.

“McGillicuddy.” You spat. “I need to know which room he’s in.”

The woman raised her brows and clicked a few letters on the keyboard. “There are two McGillicuddy’s here, ma’am.”

“Which rooms? They’re related, right? Where are they?” You blurted, panic taking over inside of you. 

“327 and 315.” She furrowed her brows. “You should know - the younger of the two is in critical condition, ma’am.”

You swallowed around the newly formed lump in your throat. “Thank you.” You croaked out, bolting for the elevator.

When the elevator chimed, signaling you’d reached the third floor, you didn’t even wait for the doors to open all the way. You let them slide apart just enough for you to slip between them, sideways, and sprinted down the hall to room 315. You skidded into the room, stopping immediately when your eyes met John’s. 

“Y/N?” His gruff voice saying your name made your blood boil. If there was one person on the earth you wouldn’t mind dying, it was John Winchester.

“Where’s Dean?” You ignored John entirely.

“Little ways down the hall.” John deadpanned, pointing in the direction of Dean’s room. You spun on your heel and bee-lined for 327. 

“Y/N...” Sam breathed, his voice shaking as he spoke your name. Tears filled his eyes. 

“Oh, Sammy.” You reached up and cupped his cheek, running your thumb under his right eye. “You’re all banged up too.” Giving him a sympathetic smile, you opened your arms and wrapped them around him, the size of Sam’s towering frame still surprising you. He’d been taller than you for quite some time, but it’d been over four years since you’d hugged him. Tears welled in your eyes as you felt Sam’s body shaking with silent sobs. “What did they say?” You rubbed between his shoulder blades. 

Sam pulled away, breathing in and composing himself, wiping his eyes on the back of his hand carefully. “They’re keeping him comfortable.”

Your breath caught in your throat. Keeping him comfortable. You knew what that meant. Dean was dying. “Has he been awake at all?” Sam shook his head. “Shit.”

“They think he can hear us. Maybe... maybe you could talk to him and see if he wakes up.” Sam suggested.

You nodded and took a tentative step toward the bed, laying your hand on top of Dean’s and looking at Sam. He stepped outside and made his way to the hospital cafeteria. “Dean...” You whispered. You swore, under your hand, Dean’s fingers twitched. Gasping, you squeezed his hand. “Dean, can you hear me?”

Nothing.

Tears leaked from your eyes, and you knew the twitch was in your mind.

Sam came back a little while later, a brown bag tucked under his arm as he closed the door. “Don’t make fun of me.” He warned.

You looked up at him, brows furrowed. “What are you doing?” Your eyes followed him as he sat on the floor. He pulled a box from the bag. “Sammy...” You shook your head. “What the hell?” 

“I think he’s here.” Sam bit his lip nervously. “And I think he might be able to talk to us like this.”

“I...” You shook your head again, narrowing your eyes skeptically. “I don’t know if this is gonna work,” you sighed, sinking down beside Sam, “but it’s worth a shot.”

Sam unboxed the talking board and placed two fingers from each hand on the pointer. He waited for you to follow suit, then looked around the room. “Dean. Dean, are you here?” Sam swallowed hard, watching the piece sitting in the middle of the board. After a few seconds, Sam’s mouth fell open as the pointer began moving, eventually falling on ‘yes.’ Sam gave a breathy laugh as he relaxed his shoulders and looked at you. “It's good to hear from you, man. It hasn't been the same without you, Dean.”

You looked at Sam and frowned. “What’s going on?” 

Sam shrugged you off as the pointer began moving again. “Dean, what? H? U? Hunt? What? Hunting? Are you hunting?”

“He’s hunting.” You smiled, shaking your head as the piece landed on ‘yes’ again. “Of course he is.”

“Shh.” Sam scolded, returning his attention to the board. “Dean. It's in the hospital, what you're hunting? Do, do you know what it is?” He paused, shaking his head quickly. “What is it?” The game spelled out the word, and Sam’s heart sank in his chest. “A reaper. Dean... is it after you?” He didn’t want to ask, but he knew he had to. Sam’s heart pounded as the pointer moved back to ‘yes.’

You and Sam both let out a breath, looking at each other. “Sam,” you shook your head, frowning, “if it’s here naturally-”

“There’s no way to stop it.” He finished the sentence in unison with you as you nodded. “Man, you’re, um...” Sam couldn’t bring himself to say it. He brought his hand to his face, running it down over his lips and chin.

“No, there’s gotta be a way.” You insisted, standing up and pacing before running back to the side of Dean’s bed and taking his hand again. 

Sam began pacing, following your same path around the small room. “Dad’ll know what to do.” Sam left the room and you groaned. The last thing you wanted was to trust John with Dean’s life.

After grabbing lunch with Sam in the cafeteria, he told you to finish up on your own and he’d see you back upstairs in a bit. You nodded, letting him get some time with his brother. You finished eating not long after Sam left, so you made your way to the elevator and back up to Dean’s room. From the hallway, you listened as Sam told Dean he couldn’t find anything to help him, but he wouldn’t give up.

Sam tried to joke, but the air quickly became heavy as Sam realized he could very well be speaking his last words to Dean. “Dean, you gotta hold on. You can’t go, man. Not now. We were just starting to be brothers again.”

Your heart shattered as you choked back a sob, but it wasn’t as quiet as you wanted it to be. Sam hurried into the hall, grabbing you and pulling you into a tearful hug. “I’m sorry I was eavesdropping.” You managed between gasps for air. 

Sam shook his head and ran his hand over your hair. “It’s okay, I know how much it hurts to think about losing him.” Sam gulped, his tears falling onto your head. “I know how much you love him.”

You and Sam made your way back into Dean’s room after the two of you held one another and cried at what felt like the inevitable loss of the man you both loved. You sat at his bedside, where you swore to yourself you’d stay until his heart stopped beating. Sam stood beside you, one hand on your shoulder and the other on Dean’s. You opened your mouth to say something, but just as you did, Dean gasped and his eyes popped open as he began choking on the tube in his throat.

“Help! I need help!” Sam ran to the hallway as you sat there and held Dean’s hand.

The next day, all of Dean’s tubes were removed and he was sitting up, breathing and eating like any other day.

“You’ve gotta have some kind of angel watchin’ over you.” The doctor closed his clipboard and walked toward the door.

“Thanks, Doc.” Dean rasped, arm laying over his chest. He looked up at Sam. “So, you said a reaper was after me?” 

“Yeah.” Sam nodded, smiling a bit.

“How’d I ditch it?” Dean’s eyes flicked to you briefly.

“You got me. Dean, you really don’t remember anything.” It wasn’t a question, but Dean treated it like one.

“No, except this,” Dean shifted uncomfortably as he watched you carefully, “pit in my stomach.” He looked up at Sam again. “Sam, something’s wrong.”

John knocked on the door before the conversation could go any further. “How ya feelin’, dude?” He looked at Dean.

Dean shrugged. “Fine, I guess. I’m alive.”

John smiled at that. “That’s what matters.”

“Where were you last night?” Sam asking accusingly. 

John’s eyes slowly moved to Sam as you shifted uncomfortably in your seat in the opposite corner of the room. “I had some things to take care of.” John dismissed.

Sam closed his eyes. “Well, that's specific.”

Dean turned to Sam as he sighed. “Come on, Sam.”

Sam’s eyes stayed locked on John. “Did you go after the demon?” He nodded knowingly.

John shook his head and looked down, setting his jaw. “No.”

Sam narrowed his eyes. “You know, why don't I believe you right now?” Dean closed his eyes and let out an aggravated breath.

John stepped into the room, rather than just lingering in the doorway. He glanced at Dean before locking eyes with Sam and taking a deep breath. “Can we not fight?” John pleaded. Sam’s brows pulled together slightly. “You know, half the time we're fighting, I don't know what we're fighting about. We're just butting heads.” You watched the realization wash over Sam’s face. “Sammy, I’ve - I've made some mistakes.” Dean met your gaze, sharing a look that held a lifetime worth of secrets and unspoken words, then he looked at his father again. “But I've always done the best I could. I just don't want to fight anymore, okay?” John’s chin and lower lip quivered as tears brimmed his eyes.

“Dad, are you alright?” Sam eyed his father suspiciously, worriedly, even. 

John forced a smile. “Yeah. Yeah, I'm just a little tired.” He laughed humorlessly as Sam nodded. “Hey, son, would you, uh - would you mind getting me a cup of caffeine?”

Sam nodded, worry still contorting his features. “Yeah. Yeah, sure.” Sam and Dean looked at one another. “Y/N, you, uh - you wanna...?” He trailed off, motioning with his head for you to follow him. You nodded, standing up and leaving the room on Sam’s tail.

It took longer than you’d have liked to get the coffee, but you got it after a few screw-ups behind the counter. You and Sam made your way back upstairs, you heading to Dean’s room with one of those prepackaged pies from the vending machine. He probably wasn’t supposed to be eating it after just having woken up from a near death coma, but damn if he didn’t deserve it.

Sam stopped off at John’s room, watching as you disappeared into Dean’s. He smiled and shook his head, happy to see the two of you back together, or at least on speaking terms. As Sam turned to face John, his eyes fell to the heap on the floor. 

“Dad!” Sam scrambled to John’s body, dropping the fresh cup of coffee on the tiles below him. Sam’s desperate cries for help echoed through the hall. You shot to your feet after helping Dean out of bed. The two of you sprinted through the hall, following the sounds of Sam’s screaming.

“Time of death, 10:41am.”

“He’s dead.” Dean breathed, eyes locked on his little brother. Sam turned over his shoulder and met Dean’s stare. “Sammy...” Dean shook his head. Tears welled in both brothers’ eyes and they fell into each other’s embrace.

You weren’t sure what you could add to the situation, so you quietly tucked yourself back into Dean’s hospital room. You sat there, mindlessly picking apart a styrofoam cup and throwing the little pieces toward another plastic cup, seeing if you could get them in.

“Y/N?” Dean’s broken voice came from the doorway.

You looked up and met his bloodshot eyes. “Dean...” You stood, walking to him and standing toe-to-toe. “Dean, I-” You were cut off when his lips smashed against yours. You resisted at first, still unbelievably mad at the way he’d just left you, but you couldn’t help the way you melted right back into Dean. Dean’s tears spilled down his face, mingling on your lips and turning the kiss salty. “Dean.” You whispered as you pulled back.

Reaching up, you laid a hand on the side of his face and looked into his eyes. Dean laid his hand over yours, holding your fingers. “We have to burn him, Y/N.”

“I’ll be there.” You nodded. “Always.”

Dean nodded back, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and walking down the hallway with you. “Let’s get out of here first, okay?”

The fire whipped and crackled around John’s body, salted and doused in kerosene. Tears streamed down Sam’s face, his sniffles catching in the night air. Dean stood, stone-faced and mesmerized by the way the flames licked at his father’s corpse. 

You stood by Dean’s side, arm laced into his, leaning against his shoulder to remind him you were there. He quickly shook you off and reminded Sam to cover the ashes with dirt when the flame finally burned out, walking away. Your eyes followed Dean until he disappeared into the darkness of the night, then you looked at Sam. 

“What are we gonna do, kid?” You stepped toward him and leaned on his shoulder. 

Sam laid his arm over you, squeezing you into a little side hug. “I don’t know, but we’ve gotta get it figured out. And soon.” Sam glanced down at you as you nodded.

Both of you knew what John’s death would do to Dean, but neither of you could’ve imagined how far he’d take it.

You listened from Bobby’s kitchen as Sam and Dean talked, about John, about grieving, about how neither one of them were okay. As Sam walked in through the back door, your father came barreling through the front. 

“Y/N. Now.” He demanded, pointing to the door as he spun on his heel and turned right back around, leaving the house just as quickly as he entered.

Your eyes went wide, never knowing how to react to his moods like this. You looked at Bobby, who just shrugged. Turning to Sam, you managed a tight smile. “Tell Dean I’ll be right back?” Sam nodded at your request.

You didn’t come right back. You didn’t come back at all. Your dad ripped you away from the Winchesters and from your Uncle Bobby, away from all you’d ever known, because he needed help on a hunt. Your father swore up, down, and sideways that the Winchesters were nothing but trouble. He found out about John’s sudden death, and he knew that if John Winchester had died, you were in trouble too, just by being around Sam and Dean.

You spent years hunting with and without your father, calling Bobby every now and then to let him know you were okay. You tried to call Dean, but he never answered, and then his number was disconnected. You knew how horrible you seemed for what you did, but you couldn’t change the past and you knew that. 

One day, while you were checking your post office box, you frowned as you came across an intricate envelope with a wax seal. You pulled your little knife from your pocket and sliced through the envelope, pulling out the contents.

“A wedding invitation?” You laughed to yourself. “Who the hell...” Your eyes skimmed the information. It was a friend you’d made your senior year of high school. Blake’s parents had dropped him off at Bobby’s just as often as your dad did. 

Poor Bobby. Always gettin’ stuck with all the kids. You thought.

Blake’s wedding was only a week away by the time you received the invitation. After a fight with your dad about why you should or shouldn’t go, you hot wired a car - thanks, Dean - and took off for Kentucky. 

The ceremony was nice, although you decided you never needed to see another piece of burlap in your life. As Blake and his new wife exited the barn, you and the rest of the guests filed out behind them, heading for cocktail hour. You leaned against the bar, reading the list of mixed drinks they were offering.

You smiled at the bartender as he asked you what he could mix up for you. “I’ll actually just take a-”

“Whiskey. She’ll take a whiskey. Double, make it neat.” A familiar voice sounded beside you.

You turned, ready to tell off the man who so rudely and misogynistically stepped in to order your drink for you. You drew in a deep breath, preparing for your fight, but the air left your lungs as your eyes met the shining emerald eyes you grew up falling in love with. You swallowed hard and choked out his name for the first time in eleven years. “Dean?”

Part 3 - The End

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[latiimer]

yes i had to use this cap because look at that smile??????? why couldn’t we have gotten more of that smile in the show????? also yes you’re all my squad and you’re stuck with me now. none of you are allowed to leave. you’re with me for life. you’ve gotten me through the lows and the highs (because lbr there’s been more lows than highs with the last series *stares at chibnall* and just helping me get through it all and say fuck you to canon where it was necessary like wtf ellie miller would have fuckign been upset why the fuck didn’t we see that on screen and someone stop me now before this becomes a full on post about that shitty thing that i’m saying isn’t and never will be canon because fuck you she would have been upset) and just you’re all so amazing and idek how i had this blog without any of you because just these people are all so important to me and mark and just he needs all of you in his own ways. now before i ramble on here too much (because we all know that i do and will do it again here) let me get into the juicy bits where i’ll try not to make you cry but no promises aka here’s over a thousand words of me rambling about you lot because i love each and every one of you so much

@dsmiller – of course you gotta be first, char. other than me, i think you’re the person that’s been around in the fandom the longest as of late. you’ve come so far since i first saw your little blog pop up in the tags back in december like ???? how has it been that long omg. would it be kinda rude for me to take credit for how far you’ve come??? but just i’m like your proud mum tbh and just it feels as if you’ve been here forever and remember when we were joking that we would only even be a fandom of two people??? well look at us now the wait was so worth it (but i’m not up to them yet, i’m still on you). your ellie is just wow amazing and just you do her so much justice and love her so much. plus also our totally unexpected ship like ?????? i swore for nearly two years that mark/ellie wouldn’t ever be a thing and now i’m having to eat my own words because they’re amazing. i love them so much and tbh i don’t think it could have ever happened with another ellie because your ellie is just the best friend that mark could ever hope for

@failedthelastone / @nctacrank – my wife. the love of my life. how did i ever write on this blog without you???? i literally can’t believe that it’s only been a few weeks since we started talking and even less since we began writing together. you and your beth have just become so engrained into mark and who he is that i just can’t see a way that i can keep going on without your beth as a part of mark’s life. even if it took us too long to actually know each other’s names, literally like it didn’t matter at all because we just get on so well and it’s just like we’re on the same wavelength sometimes actually no more than sometimes. like nearly all of the time. you can be as petty as me (coughthatsextingthreadcough) and just so so brilliant like no joke idk how i went on for so long not having a beth for my mark as just she is so detrimental to him that he needs her more than i can ever attempt to put into words. your writing is just wow amazing and i literally cannot wait to see each of your replies and oh man the hours i have spent awake with your just to talk about mark and beth are ridiculous but i have loved every second of it and do not regret a single thing honestly. you are mine just as beth is mark’s and we’re not going to let either one of you go ever. get used to having us around. you’re stuck with us. also also also i was just about to get onto posting this and i remembered gi! like gdi mark and beth need some family left (and thank you so so so so much for helping me develop mark’s mum like you have no idea how much you’ve helped me but imma shut up now before this literally gets too long though lbr it already is) and just gi is perfect honestly. i can totally see her in the show and just fuck chibnall again because damn it she’s canon whether he likes it or not. literally like they need some kind of family and ffs three series and they couldn’t even give us that??? so yes gi is mark’s sister and that’s not ever going to change no matter what happens at all. he’s always going to be protective as fuck over her and she’s his little sister forever now whether they’re related by blood or not mark doesn’t even care tbh

@amillixnvoices – chloe chloe chloe chloe chloe like do you know how long i have been waiting for a chloe to write with ????? it’s just like nearly two years omg i have never had one for as long as i’ve written mark and just you’re perfection. just the way that you see chloe is amazing and honestly they have the absolute best relationship and mark loves his baby girl so so much and just he’s never going to let go of her. she’s living with him forever whether she likes it or not. you’re always up for anything that i suggest or throw at you and just i’m sorry (not sorry) for all the memes that i send your way because just i need all of the mark and chloe things in my life and there is so much adorableness between the two of them and if chloe thinks she’s lucky to have a dad like mark that just doesn’t even compare to how lucky mark feels to have lucked out and had a daughter as amazing as chloe and just you do her so much justice (even if she is sending texts that mark really never wants to see or hear about again to daisy)

@daisyhardy / @pculcoates – where do i even start??? paul or daisy???? okay it’s gotta be paul because of reasons and those reasons are obviously paul/becca like idgaf what people say about them they are cute and adorable and are going to have half a dozen babies and don’t paul even dare suggest ever having anymore or becca will ensure that he isn’t able to have anymore and it’ll hurt. but legit though i love them so much and am just so glad that i have met someone who appreciates them in the same way that i do because they are so worthy and i am still so wrecked that they didn’t bring becca back during series three because gdi they needed more time together and to not have half of their oh so fucking important scenes cut out of the show (i s2g me and chibnall are gonna have words if i ever meet him). and then there’s daisy and just did i ever tell you that i once had a daisy blog??? it was way back in the day in like 2014 when literally like three people knew she existed and that she had a name from the novel that was released to go along with series one of the show. i do have a point to this and that is that daisy has and is still kind of my baby from back when i played her oh so long ago and just i was kind of nervous when i first saw your blog but just wowwww like you smashed any doubts that i had within a day or two and i’m just so glad that you play her and make her so much more than just hardy’s daughter. also just chloe/daisy being a thing is amazing because gdi chloe needs someone good in her life and daisy is that person

@mangfoldigmuses – ani, literally as i’m typing this you’re calling me satan for giving you feels, but hey i’m nice(ish) and like honestly i couldn’t not include you on this. your alec is just like wowwwww there hasn’t been another one since i started writing mark (a long long time ago now) that he has had any ral sort of connection with and just ???? i could always see that potential, but no one was ever interested in anything like that. okay lbr here and imma just flat out say that hardy isn’t my favourite character in the show but he has grown on me during series three and i think that is partly to do with you as well. your alec just feels like a real person??? idk how to describe it but just he feels real and that he’s more than just a detective in a suit. he’s not just harsh and he has feelings and like there is just so much more to him than we usually get to see, the way that he well acts and pretends kind of if you know what i mean???? but just yes no matter how many feels i give you or how many times that mark almost kills alec inadvertently we still love you okay?

okay i think i’m done (i’m probably not) but legit this is over 1500 words and i should stop typing before i kill my fingers or turn angsty again because this post could take a turn for the worst if i start throwing more sad hcs at you and i’ll be nice this time and not let you all suffer my angst this time

#╳ ┆ OUT OF GRIEF. #╳ ┆ SAVED.

[simplyadorkable-blog1]

Season 6, Episode 18 - “Young Adult”

When Jess worries that she may not be a cool enough principal, she recruits Nick and The Pepperwood Chronicles to help make her popular with the students; Schmidt hires a new assistant; Winston discovers Furguson may be two-timing him.

It was such a heartwarming sight to see all of the roomfriends in the opening scene. Their dynamic reminded me of why I fell in love with this show. They’re all just a bunch of goofballs. This time Jess and Schmidt start off the antics by arguing over who deserved the last cup of coffee. It’s unclear what time it is. Seriously, when does anything happen in this show?

Jess needs the coffee to energize her while she makes muffins for her “Lunch With Your Princi-PAL” campaign. Schmidt needs it because he’s now the Director of Marketing at Ass. Strat. and is going to hire an assistant. Though he does vow that he won’t be a screamer. “It’s not constructive, it’s rude.” Despite literally just vowing not be a screamer, he screams at Nick for encroaching on the coffee, threatening him that he’ll pour his blood on the ground and knife him. Nick retreats, explaining that he needs something for his whiskey to swim in while he writes all day. Cece argues that she needs it because she has a full day of packing. Winston enters to break up the fight, “Enough! You guys are tearing each other apart. For what? Coffee? Come on, man, you already got that energy inside of you. And that is the light of the Lord. Man, this? This ain’t nothing but the devil’s water… Nah, I’m not playing.” Then he snatches the coffee and walks away to the threat of Schmidt knifing him at the urinal.

Some time later, Jess is smiling over her basket of freshly baked muffins. Nick interrupts her moment of calm by throwing magnetic words at the fridge in an attempt to alleviate his writer’s block. He’s already folded all his shirts and masturbated six times, he’s running out of things to do. But he can’t leave his audience of stevedores, tugboat workers, and lighthouse keepers without a sequel to Pepperwood. It’s clear that he thinks his 30+ audience is made entirely up of blue-collar nautical workers on the coastline of Maine despite having sold a young girl in LA a copy for a dollar. Jess starts to give him advice, but has to rush off to work.

Cece and Winston are out in the hallway gathering moving supplies, and trying not to cry at the thought of no more mess arounds, when Furguson the Cat moseys over. As Winston chastises the little guy for not taking his cell phone with him, a strangely dressed woman named Gil appears. She thanks him for finding her cat, Sweatshirt. Winston puts it together that Furguson has two families—the dirty dog—and is shocked by his uncouth behavior.

That morning at Associated Strategies, Schmidt is ankle deep in interviews for his new assistant. We see him turn down a candidate for wearing a clip-on tie before calling in a seemingly perfect candidate named Jeremy. The young man immediately passes Schmidt’s bizarre Brett Favre scenario in which Schmidt is inexplicably dead. Schmidt relates to Jeremy’s genius in marketing and lack of sports knowledge—Favre was drunk playing football and would never knowingly wear a tuxedo, drive a tractor into a swimming pool or eat a salad, nor leave his Bronco Blue Jeans behind—and hires him on the spot.

Jess makes it to school and attempts to hand out muffins. Three girl in particular turn her down, but when they walk away, Jess overhears them discussing The Pepperwood Chronicles. On what I assume is her lunch break, she is back at the loft and begs Nick to come talk to the girls so she can bond with them. Nick claims his doesn’t have time to. He’s only on page two and page one is just a dedication to Winston. Jess just wants to connect with her students the way she did as vice-principal. “It’s like I’m living in my own damn adorable shadow,” she laments. Nick argues that her students won’t understand his book since it’s just a, “New Orleans story about a guy fighting with the alligator within.” Jess pleas with Nick one last time to come to the school and he immediately caves, he’ll do it for her.

Meanwhile Cece and Winston try to prove to Gil that Furguson is happy with him and his organic kitty litter, miniature piano, tiny, tiny treadmill, and couple’s yoga area. Gil is not impressed with his food and disses Winston’s care. Cece defends Winston and they try not to cry. They are so close, this is the scene I wanted from the last breakdown. Winston also says that he found Furguson first, but didn’t he steal him from London Tipton Daisy? He decides that they will do a Catcall, and Furguson can decide where he wants to live.

Jess gathers the three girls in the library to meet Nick. He enters the meeting with his guard up, he doesn’t think these girls understand his book. He says it’s more than romance—it’s about life, race, the sexualization of the American handgun, and Pepperwood’s ambiguous relationship with justice. But the girls quickly impress him by how they picked up on the gay dog character and starts a discussion about the scene in the fish morgue.

We have a quick check-up on what is going on at Associated Strategies. Jeremy is already hard at work anticipating Schmidt’s every need. It’s clear that his work ethic is starting to freak Schmidt out and we’re not entirely convinced he’s not a robot.

Back in the library, Nick is deep into discussion with the girls. He thinks that The Pepperwood Chronicles could be a whole series to which Jess says, “Well, I mean, it’s called The Pepperwood Chronicles, so I assumed there’d be more than one.” Nick wraps up their talk and goes to leave, telling Jess he’ll see her at home. The girls are shocked to find out that Nick and Jess are roommates and even more shocked to learn that they had dated. Nick breezes past admitting they were in love a little too fast, but I appreciate the Ness callback regardless. He leaves the girls to fawn over Jess, now dubbed “PJ” for Principal Jess. Jess is excited that they like her now, but is distressed over the sudden lack of respect and loss of control.

The next morning, Jess finds the coffee empty again. Nick had taken it to prepare because he wants to go to the school again, “I can’t wait to pitch those girls my Pepperwood prequel. It opens with a very graphic description of his birth. It’s like a dark Look Who’s Talking.” Jess tells him that he can’t because she has lost all authority. Nick thinks that because they love her, Jess has what she wanted. But Jess wanted more of a balance, she needs to put the genie back in the bottle. Schmidt interrupts the two in disgust that there is no more coffee left. But he receives a text from Jeremy that he left an iced coffee in the fridge, alarming Jess that he was there while they were sleeping.

The situation continues to escalate at Associated Strategies. Schmidt is bored since Jeremy took care off all of his work and even calls Cece to ask to be part of her mess-down with Winston. “Sir, I believe it’s called a “mess-around.”” Jeremy corrects from the doorway. Schmidt yells at him for always anticipating his every need and he can’t breathe. He advises that Jeremy go meet a girl, or a man, he can’t tell. Jeremy is very hard to read sexually.

Meanwhile, Cece and Winston look like a cute couple from the 50s as they call Furguson to come to them, not Gil. Gil moves closer in an attempt to coax Furguson to come to her, prompting Cece and Winston to come closer too. This action causes Gil to smell the crab leg Cece hid in her pocket. Winston is disappointed that Cece cheated, but Cece explains that she did it because she didn’t want Furguson to leave him too. They share a sweet hug because, “Caring is the real mess-around.” During their hug, Ferguson walks over to apartment 4D, effectively choosing Winston. Gil trots away in defeat, cat tail and all.

Back at the school, Nick is talking to a larger group of students about his book when Jess catches them. She calls them to her office, including old Nicky Miller. Jess starts by chastising Nick for having unsupervised meetings with students, wearing home slippers on school grounds, and parking in Janitor Margie’s parking spot. Then she chastises the girls for skipping the assembly for Pepperwood and they sass her. One of them calls her a bitch, leaving everyone at home completely shook. Jess breaks and yells at them, giving them the punishment they deserve for disrespecting her.

Schmidt finally calms down enough at work to apologize to Jeremy. He explains that he sees him as a younger version of himself. Jeremy takes this information and uses it to inspire Schmidt to take advantage of his new assistant and work his way to the top. Schmidt is so excited to get to work, that he’s already worked up an appetite. Thankfully Jeremy already has a bag of food ready.

On a bench outside of the school, the girls approach Jess to apologize for disrespecting her. Jess catches on that Nick put them up to it due to their incorrect usage of the word, “upmost.” She later finds Nick hard at work on his book to thank him for putting the girls up to it. She explains that she knew it was him because he’s the only person she knows that says “upmost.” It’s utmost. Nick agrees to disagree, but the good news is that his writer’s block is gone, thanks to Jess. Then he tells her that she always comes through for him to the upmost, and I swoon right out of my seat. They continue their witty banter, leaving Nick to shout, “What’s an “ut”?” as Jess leaves.  

The episode concludes in the living room with all of the roomfriends, like the beginning, and it warms my heart once again. Winston claims that Furguson is miserable to which Jess asks, “So you’re saying that this is a different emotion than what we’ve seen for the past three years?” “A father knows.” Is Winston’s simple answer. He knows that Furguson misses Gil and sends him down the hallway with note attached to his collar reading, “Let’s split cat-sody.” Cece assures Winston that Furguson will be back. Suddenly, Jeremy appears holding Furguson—to Winston’s glee—and introduces himself to the confused bunch. He even brought their individual coffee orders that he drew their caricatures on to identify who’s is who’s. They are shockingly accurate despite having never met them. My bet is that he got their pictures from Schmidt’s screensaver slideshow. Or when he was in their apartment the night before.

Originally Aired 2/28/2017

#New Girl #Season 6 Episode 18 #Young Adult #Recap #Breakdown #Spoilers #Zooey Deschanel #Jake Johnson #Hannah Simone #Max Greenfield #Lamorne Morris #Furguson #Episodes #simplyadorkable

[chimepunk]

What novels or book series would you recommend?

oh fuckin boy dude so many. 90% of what i read is either gay or scifi/fantasy or both, and some are technically for a younger audience but still great, so thats what most of this is which hopefully you’re cool with here goes

this got super long so i’m putting it under a cut. bolded titles are the ones that i’m super recommending, though i love them all

novels

the coldest girl in coldtown by holly black - vampires! a trans character! a bi character! one of the most novel approaches to vampires in fiction that i’ve seen! 10/10 would recommend

the darkest part of the forest by holly black - again, holly black is one of my favorite authors. this one’s got faeries (the proper vaguely unsettling kind that i’m all about) magical music, girls embracing their sexuality, girls being knights, interesting sibling dynamics, and a super cute m/m pairing

les miserables by victor hugo - ok yeah, it’s like 1400 pages long and historical fiction, but i love les mis a lot ok. it’s gotta be on this list just because it owns my ass. it’s like a old drunk french man trying to tell you about the june rebellion but he keeps getting distracted by things like people’s personal lives, the intricacies of the parisian underworld, and how much he wants to fuck the sewers. it’s wonderful

the night circus by erin morgenstern - magical circus that mysteriously appears for days at a time and then vanishes? a competition between young magicians drawn out for years? a wide variety of fascinating side characters? (i will say that the synopsis available for the book is somewhat misleading, as it’s actually less about our two protags and more about the circus itself. but that’s what makes it so enchanting)

the song of achilles by madeleine miller - retelling of patroclus and achilles story to be explicitly romantic. will make you feel like you’re floating on clouds and then rapidly crush your soul. sort of a happy ending? but it’s still a tragedy. their ending is the same as it was in the illiad so if you’re not prepared for that then maybe don’t read

good omens by neil gaiman and terry pratchett - a demon who’s not very good at being a demon and an angel who just wants to collect his books in peace thank you very much try to sabotage the end of times. absolutely hilarious

fairy and folktales of the irish peasantry by w.b. yeats - the best collection of irish faerie stories by one of my favorite poets. if you like creepy and tricky faeries i would def recommend checking these out

rootabaga stories by carl sandburg - another collection of folktales, this time inspired by the american midwest. kinda weird, kinda zany, very neat

the poison eaters by holly black - a short story collection of faery stories that are sometimes creepy, sometimes touching, sometimes gay. my personal favorite is about a library science student who finds a book collection where the characters come out at night and interact, but they’re all really great

series:

alex rider adventures by anthony horowitz - teenager gets recruited by MI6 as a spy, has incredibly high success rate, gets pretty fucked up along the way but damn those one liners tho, maybe have some self preservation alex? just a thought

all for the game by nora sakavic - about a fake sport called exy that’s kind of like indoor lacrosse but more violent. contains: crime families, found families, an aspec protag, girls kicking ass, unhealthy levels of sass, wonderful slowburn m/m that you can’t even see coming for a long while, and a happy ending for everyone!! i came for the gays and ended up reading all three books in two days. also you can get the whole series for less than five bucks on kindle! (note: tw for rape, physical abuse, torture, ptsd, child abuse, drug use, alcoholism, some use of slurs, mentions of past self harm, mental illness)

artemis fowl by eoin colfer - more faeries, but this time they live underground and are way more technologically advanced than humans. the first book focuses on our anti-hero trying to catch one and steal their gold, and they quickly become allies and solve faerie related cases together!! one of my favorite series growing up, and i cried in the middle of the hallway at school when i finished the last book

camp half-blood series by rick riordan - does rick riordan write a lot of mythology books? yes. do i love them all? yes. neurodivergent kids! kids from a huge range of racial and ethnic backgrounds! queer kids! collect them all! ft. greco-roman mythology and a lot of stupid jokes

emelan series by tamora pierce - ok this is easily one of my favorite series of all time. non-western high fantasy setting (picture greece/turkey, china, tibet, mongolia, scandinavia, etc type settings), following four young mages who have unique kinds of magic as they train and grow their skills and become powerful in their own right. only one of the kids is definitely white (jury’s still out on sandry), one is a lesbian, one is ace, one is pan, all four are raised by a loving f/f couple, body diversity, one of the best found families i’ve ever read, feminism, discussion of racism, classism, cultural identity, war, and so much more. it’s so so good and so under-appreciated please read all of the emelan books 

the dark is rising sequence by susan cooper - full disclosure i have not finished this series yet but i’ve re-read the first book a million times. it’s a neat take on arthurian mythology, with dark forces trying to take over and kids getting shit done

diviners by libba bray - psychic teenagers in 1920s new york! i’m a slut for prohibition, but these are also super fun and have likable and real characters, and doesn’t only focus on wealthy white people having parties which is nice. the occult! government conspiracies! historical references! genuinely scary situations! it’s rad!

the enchanted forest chronicles by patricia c. wrede - i adore this series so so much. it’s about a princess who’s father keeps telling her that she can’t have hobbies like fencing or cooking or conjugating latin verbs because they’re unladylike and insists that she marry this doofus prince that she couldn’t care less about. so she runs away and volunteers to work for a dragon and proceeds to send away all the princes that try to rescue her. it’s genuinely funny, has a really neat magic system in the later books, great female friendships, cats, dragons who have no time for your gender roles, and wizards who are the most ridiculous group of antagonists you will ever see

the infernal devices by cassandra clare - i really really do not like the author of this series but it also broke me so it must go on the list. if you’re familiar with the mortal instruments or shadowhunters on freeform, it’s set in that universe in the 1870s in london and it’s very steampunk and very angsty and it made me cry a lot

the kane chronicles by rick riordan - see: camp half-blood series but egyptian

fablehaven by brandon mull - oooooh fuck me up i love this series. this is another one meant for slightly younger readers but all of brandon mull’s series are so wildly imaginative and i’m a slut for world building so. the premise is basically that there are secret preserves all over the world that house magical creatures, and five of these preserves have vaults with artifacts that when brought together make a key to this massive demon prison. an evil society called the society of the evening star is trying to get the artifacts to open the prison, and a different group who is allied with the preserves called the knights of the dawn is trying to get to them first to prevent this from happening. there are dragons, light and dark powers, crazy convoluted vaults to get through, and some really cool creatures and characters

beyonders by brandon mull - this guy again! this one’s about a parallel world called lyrian that people on earth can only get to through small liminal windows, and usually can’t get back through. the story follows two kids, jason and rachel, who get stuck in lyrian and end up becoming major members of the resistance against the evil emperor maldor. just like fablehaven, the world building is insane and you’ll fall in love with all the characters. this is yet another series that made me cry in the middle of class when i finished it

the kingkiller chronicle by patrick rothfuss - this is series is long as all fuck and the last book isn’t out yet but it’s my #1 favorite series of all time. i found out about it bc a cashier at a local grocery store held up the line to write it down for me and i never went back. parts of it are achingly, hauntingly beautiful, other parts are hilarious enough to leave you in stitches, others make you want to pull your hair out. there’s sass, recklessness, beautiful and deadly girls, an overwhelming love and emphasis on the importance of music and storytelling, magic that’s more like science, ethnic adversity, student loans, a thing that might be a cow or might be a dragon depending on who you ask, and more quotable lines than you could dream of. the audiobook by nick podehl is also fabulous, and lin manuel miranda is producing and adapting it for the screen and maybe stage at some point in the future!

a modern faerie tale by holly black - guys. i love holly black. almost everything she’s ever written is on this list. this one is fairly self explanatory by the title, but it’s gritty and dark and has those lovely creepy faeries that she’s so great at writing. also a surprising m/m couple in the last book, both of whom are characters in the other two installments. (tw for drug use/addiction, brief sexual assault, and probably other things that i can’t remember right now)

the raven cycle by maggie stiefvater - also in my top 3 favorite series of all time, i cannot begin to describe this series. i first read it while up in the nc mountains which improved the experience to a surprising degree, but it’s stuck with me for the last several years. basically 5 teenagers go in search of a dead welsh king, but along the way there is magic, psychics, ghosts, a sentient forest, dreams becoming reality, curses, teenage shenanigans, classic cars, swearing, church, kisses and not kisses, illict hand holding, a baby crow, bisexuality, a death list, hitmen, and nicknames and it will consume your heart before you know what’s happening to you (tw child abuse, implied sexual assault, substance abuse, dissociation, mentions of past suicide attempts, body horror, gore, and disturbing scenes esp. in the last book)

six of crows by leigh bardugo - a team of criminals band together to break into an impossible fortress, fall in love, con an entire city, and get rich. set in the same universe as the grisha trilogy (which is also good but not as good as soc), this is basically a heist followed by a con, but pulled off by ruthless teenagers and with the help of magic

curseworker trilogy by holly black - crime families, magic that can only done through touch so everyone wears gloves, moral ambiguity, and a twisted romance. one of holly black’s best and most underrated series

baccano! by ryohgo narita - this is a japanese light novel series which has been adapted into an anime, but is much more extensive in print. the plot is extremely convoluted, but an absolute ride spanning several centuries, although the bulk of it is in the 1930s in nyc and chicago. there’s an elixir of immortality, crime families, trains, a solipsistic assassin and his mute assassin gf, serial killers, a demon with a catch phrase, murder, explosions, adorable couples, gambling, a gang leader named jacuzzi who is always terrified, killer corporations, and much much more

no.6 by asuka asano - another japanse series, this time focusing on two boys, one who grew up in a utopian city, the other who grew up outside the walls after the city destroyed his life. they meet when they’re 12 years old, and several years later, they’re reunited when the outsider rescues the city boy from arrest. they, along with a pimp and a nonbinary dog hotel owner, try to expose and overthrow the government. also ft. drag performances, mice who like shakespeare, killer bees, and boys falling in love.

the merlin saga by t.a. barron - my favorite take on arthurian mythology, chronicling merlin as he comes into his power. there’s a vividly magical island, giants, amulets, talking trees, stones that will try to swallow you, a swamp witch, celtic deities, huge wicker hats, poetry, new kinds of fruit, people that are also deer, and human’s long lost wings.

#i love giving recs! #ask me for recs for whatever whenever you want!! #ask #anon #lit

[fictionchronicler-blog]

Prince Charming: A Historical Romp Through Masculinity, Marriage, and Bad Haircuts

“And then he realized the doll wasn’t completely inflated.”

NOTE: Illustrations and gifs do not belong to me.

Ah, the perfect man, riding gallantly on a white horse, cape billowing in the wind, armor blinding in the sunlight—and he's on his way to find you, gentle reader!  This is supposed to be what we want, and I don't just mean women, but I mean general audiences.  The handsome prince saving the day is one of the oldest and arguably most satisfying endings there is.

While the term “Prince Charming” itself wasn't coined until 1889 in an English translation of the French fairy tale The Blue Bird, the idea of a noble man rescuing a damsel (usually a princess) from some unholy terror is as old as time, categorized as “princess and dragon tales” by folklorists.  Andromeda in Greek mythology has to be saved by Perseus from the kraken.  Sita in The Ramayana has to be saved by Rama.  In a Norwegian tale, not one but three princesses have to be saved from a troll, the youngest getting the guy in true fairy tale fashion.

This was...a very broad concept, I'll admit, and I almost decided not to do it, but the idea of the ideal man coming along and giving the heroine her happy ending has adapted over time like anything else, and your reliable ol' folklore researcher is here to guide you through it!

As True a Story as Fargo

“I rang the dinner bell fifteen minutes ago. Are you two still fighting?”

The tale of Saint George and the Dragon has been around since at least the eleventh century telling the story of a town needing to feed the nearby lake dragon two sheep a day to keep it from destroying their village—a scaly, supernatural Mafia situation. When that no longer appeases the dragon, the village assumes this means it wants the taste of human flesh and starts a lottery, the “winner” getting to sacrifice one of their children. Well, one day, the lottery winner is the princess. Dressed as a bride, she is led out into the forest to wait for the dragon.

In the first version I read of this, the princess volunteered to sacrifice herself for the good of her people, but I digress. We'll talk about women's agency here and there. Saint George comes across the princess and subsequently the dragon. Ordering the princess to give him her girdle, she does so and Saint George places it around the beast's neck. From here on out, the dragon follows the princess around like a dog on a leash. Saint George takes his new, unique entourage back to the village and offers to kill the dragon if the townspeople convert to Christianity. Fifteen thousand men convert. Take that, modern evangelism.

While Saint George and the Dragon is largely allegory, it falls in perfectly with the big medieval trend of courtly love. In a nutshell, courtly love is a way to make love both passionate and disciplined. Romantic love hadn't really been covered in literature up until now, Beowulf not really having to deal with having to juggle two prom dates.

It's hard to explain what courtly love is without saying “emo.” Think of love the way a teenager might see it. Not seething with jealously? It's not love. Your feelings aren't ruining your appetite? Not love. This was more or less a series of rules and concepts that dictated how romantic love was supposed to be. A man's good character makes him worthy of love. You should turn pale when your lover is around. Women should grieve for at least two years before allowing themselves to love again. It is not proper to love a woman you would be ashamed to marry, etc. Perhaps the most noteworthy thing about courtly love is that there isn't that big an emphasis on love being returned. When a man falls for a woman, he should do nice things for her and just hope that one day she'll love him, too. Unrequited love was pretty romanticized. You can get a really nice feel for it in The Cantebury Tales' “The Knight's Tale.”

No.  That’s something else.  “The Knight's Tale” is much more long-winded and has no Queen songs.  That, and it's one of the least funny tales.  Thank goodness for the Miller and his story that involves farting in people's faces. Anyway, the tale is all about two imprisoned knights who fall in love with Princess Emily at first sight and spend the rest of the time fighting over her and praying to Roman gods to marry her...while she prays to Diana to either stay single or marry someone who truly loves her.    It's not as fun as other tales, mainly because the Knight has a tendency to get off-topic, but if you want textbook courtly love, read that.

So what do these stories tell us about people's version of the ideal man in the Middle Ages?

1. Competent.  A real man gets things done.

2. Decisive. A real man does not stew on the morality of killing dragons.

3. Protective. Sombody’s gotta look out for these women who are inferior to men in every way, amirite?

4. Upper Class. Peasant men might not have had much time to rescue damsels. And the Peasants Respond!

Just a tad predatory looking. All he needs to do is sit on her chest while a random horse watches...

While fiction in the Middle Ages really enjoyed its daring sword fights and unrequited love, peasants in the 17th, 18th, and 19th centuries told tales to children with a far different purpose—don't go into the woods.  For the love of God, don't go into the woods, don't make deals with the devil, and don't run afoul of the fairy folk.  This might seem funny, but for peasants living in or around the Black Forest of Germany, this was no laughing matter.  Think how many fairy tales are more about being suspicious of suspicious-looking people than romantic love.  Keep in mind, too, that there is little to no chance of upward mobility in this kind of society.  If you're a peasant, your kids are going to be peasants, marry peasants, and produce little peasants of their own.  It's even worse if you're a farmer and your family's prosperity depends wholly on how well your crops do.  How can you get ahead in life?

1. Go off the grid and become a pirate/bandit/thief

2. Learn alchemy and hope for the best

3. Join the church and live in a cubicle for the rest of your life

4. Marry up.

The stories collected by the Brothers Grimm took royalty and made it the ultimate reward.  In most of their stories, if the protagonist (male or female) is clever enough to outsmart the villain and/or kind enough to listen to cleverer people who know how to outsmart the villain, they are usually rewarded with a prince or a princess at the end.  There really isn't much disparity in how often the reward is a princes vs. a princess.

I won't go into much detail in what all these stories are about, but if you haven't ever heard of “The Three Spinners,” “Cinderella,” “The Six Swans,” “Snow White,” “Snow White and Rose Red,” or “The Peasant's Wise Daughter,” you might be surprised to learn that the protagonist(s) is a plucky, kind-hearted, usually skilled maiden and her reward is a prince. For all the crap fairy tales get for being chauvinistic, it's jarring that the most memorable characters are all female.

So jarring, Charles Perrault decided to make a few changes.

In the late 1600s, fairy tales started becoming appealing to the rich, and like all good things the poor come up with, the rich people took it over and added a bunch of rules.  Many upper class French men and women had heard these peasant tales and saw them as potential for witty conversation in the salons. I like me some stimulating conversation, but I also know when not to mess with the original.  With courtly love also coming back into vogue, the stories evolved into elegant, romantic tales with a heavily-hammered-in moral at the end.  Less blood and fewer trees. The forest became a more pastoral setting, or even a city.  The peasant protagonists became gentry or displaced royalty.  And marriage became a big, big deal.

When in the Middle Ages, the prince figure was usually a knight a man of action, these were unquestionably princes, their refinement and sophistication as highly valued as their masculinity.  Beauty and the Beast started as sort of a fable for arranged marriages, that the guy you end up with may not fit your definition of handsome, but if you look deep enough, you'll find something lovable.

“Forgot my keys--oh.”

Okay, so you might not find something lovable, but the Beast is no less an extremely romantic (read: emo) character.  He asks Beauty every night to marry him, gives her his estate and possessions and invisible servants with no questions asked, and literally cannot live without her as he begins wasting away when she leaves to visit her family.  And of course, he's a prince that pissed off the wrong fairy.

It is in this same era that Perrault tweaked the Cinderella story.  The Grimms told a story of Cinderella's dead mother supplying her a gown and other ball-related necessities via tree, but Perrault creates a “fairy godmother” who pops in at the last minute to help Cinderella go to the ball—a place where she might be able to catch a husband and escape her bad home life—but never appeared before to use her benevolent magic to stop the girl's stepmother and stepsisters from abusing her. Perrault also cut out the stepsisters cutting off parts of their feet to try to fit into the slipper, preferring to have Cinderella turn the other cheek and find desirable husbands for them instead.  

We're going from the clever, talented heroines in the Grimm stories to waifs who are damned if they do, damned if they don't.  If you're pure and sheltered like Sleeping Beauty, you'll still fall into a hundred-year coma.  And if you're naughty...well, this time a woodcutter has to come cut Red Riding Hood out of the Wolf's stomach...then fill said stomach with stones. This kind of undoes Perrault's moral about not trusting strangers since this woodcutter never appears in the story at any other time, but we can't have a morally susceptible female rescuing herself, can we?  Even Bluebeard downplays the heroine's character to uplift the prince's/nobleman's. Bluebeard's a freakin' serial killer and yet Perrault's text blames the wife for the situation, that if she just had refrained from being too curious, her husband wouldn't be trying to kill her for finding out about all his previous wives.  

“Princes went from chivalrous to serial killers?”

Not quite, but the heroines were rarely given personalities and the princes were the rescuers, the real movers and shakers in the story. Princes went on adventures and rescued future brides.  In 1706, the first English translation of One Thousand and One Nights told the West the story of Prince Ahmed, who a nifty magic tent that could expand to the point where it could hold armies and contract to the point where he could put it in his pocket.  He also happens to buy a magic healing apple and saves a princess with it.  There are a number of strong, three-dimensional female characters, but the princes all get to be active and go on adventures.  There is also a robot.  I'm not joking. But a huge double standard is that women are foolish and selfish and cheating on their husbands with a Moor is the worst thing ever, but the men in the story (princes included) sleep around, hit women, and even Sinbad murders a bunch of innocent people for food, but the male characters are rarely punished in these stories.  The whole fictional reasons these stories exist also lauds men; the Sultan is worried about being cheated on, so he kills every wife he has.  Scheherazade, the newest wife, is creative and clever and tells stories that always leave the Sultan wanting more, so he spares her life, choosing to keep her after a thousand and one nights.  The Sultan lives happily ever after, madly in love with an intended murder victim.  

So let’s see how things have changed?

1. Competent?  Check.

2. Decisive?  Check.

3. Upper Class?  More check than ever.

4. Protective?

Protection adapted, didn't it?  Protection stopped being more about keeping women away from beasts and more about providing for women.  The men in these stories are not only filthy rich—which is its own kind of protection—but they are also morally guiding these women and keeping them alive.  Bluebeard's wife is rescued by her brothers at the end, but Perrault says the moral of the story is that curiosity can lead to deep regret.  He then goes on to talk about how “clearly” this story takes place a long time ago as, “No husband would be so terrible as to demand the impossible of his wife.”  How the hell is that the issue when the man's a serial killer???  What does curiosity have to do with the very first wife???

We're going to throw in another value here.  Wise.

Think about it. Cinderella's prince immediately seeks her out, seeing her as no one has seen her before, as appealing. The “Marquis” in Puss in Boots is in reality a simple miller's son, but the Cat is so worldly and clever that he more than makes up for it. The woodcutter is a fatherly figure who heard Red Riding Hood's cries for help and knew exactly what to do and took her home to her mother. Even Bluebeard, who sets his wives up for failure and has a room full of tortured corpses is entitled to test his wife and keep this horrendous secret, his only crime being that he “asked the impossible of his wife,” which translates to, “asked his wife not to be too curious about her own home, lest she find the room of tortured corpses.”

Yin and Yang

Hamlet: I said I wanted the grave to be dug under a weeping willow tree on the edge of a cliff perpetually surrounded by mist!  How hard is that?

Gravedigger: But this is where the cemetery is, sir.

Hamlet: (to skull) Can you believe this guy?

Hamlet, first performed in 1605 is not anything all that special, but so many tote it as Shakespeare's masterpiece.  My theory is that that is all propaganda on the part of actors.  Getting to play Hamlet is like being written a blank check—the actor can do with the role whatever he wants because it is sooooo ambiguous!  You don't even know how old Hamlet's supposed to be, as he's a student in medieval Denmark, which would put him in his late teens, but the gravedigger says Hamlet's 30.  Hamlet seems slightly more upset about his mother remarrying than having learned his father was murdered, but he also goes berserk a few times at people who aren't involved in his father's murder at all, and while Claudius, the villain, murders one person (in back story) and angsts about it for the rest of the play, Hamlet himself gets quite the body count and shows little to no remorse about it.  

Does the fact that Hamlet is a prince have to do with this role often being the peak of an actor's career?  Why do we think an actor who can play Hamlet well can do anything?  Hamlet's not really enough of a jerk that it's Villain Sympathy.  In fact, Hamlet is one of the least proactive protagonists in literature.  The majority of the play is him wondering what he should do.  Should he listen to this ghost that claims to be his father?  Should he tell any of his friends what's going on?  Should he kill Claudius when he finds out that, yes, the guy did kill his dad?  Should he leave his mom out of it, or was she involved?  To be or not to be?  

But to the mainstream, Hamlet is the guy who holds the skull and waxes poetic while sword fighting in period dress.  Somehow, him just sitting on this supernatural order to avenge his father's death has been twisted to where we've decided it's the role of a lifetime.  Shakespeare wrote other characters who were princes, but none of them were as prominent or as over-analyzed as Hamlet.  

Does Hamlet have any good qualities?  Well, of course, or the play would have been a complete flop.  He's magnetic.  He's smart, snarky, and unsure of himself.  But then you have Ophelia, his love interest.  Whereas Hamlet is defined by his struggle to be decisive, Ophelia just lets her father and brother make decisions for her.  She is dutiful, she has no idea that Hamlet is pretending to be crazy for some of the play (or maybe he is crazy.  So much ambiguity), and when her brother leaves, Hamlet seemingly rejects her from out of nowhere, her father is killed and her lover banished, she goes off the deep end.

Therefore, it seemed like what was going on is that women were losing more and more of their credibility while royal men could afford the luxuries of indecision here and there so long as they still fit all the other criteria.

Hammer It Further In, Victorians!

The Victorians might just be my favorite historical group of people. They're a psychological delight.  Not that they were as repressed as pop culture makes them out to be, but they were all about restraint when it came to deviant behaviors and ideas, often disguising them. In the Victorian era, the hero stopped being the centerpiece of the story.  Most of the care, detail, and time went into the villain. Dracula, Sweeney Todd, Spring Heeled Jack, Frankenstein, Dorian Grey, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and just about the rest of the cast of Penny Dreadful were the ones driving the plot of their respective stories, the ones the authors paid the most attention to.  Often, they were pitted against an innocent heroine, like Christine in The Phantom of the Opera and Mina in Dracula, but there was an edge to them.  Both Christine and Mina might surprise readers in how deadpan and genre-savvy both these women are, and while they don't physically vanquish their beasts, they play key roles.

So where does this leave the prince?

The role of the home in the Victorian era became more significant than ever before.  A man's home was his castle.  His job was to make it a safe haven; his family's job was to make it a domestic ideal.  Again, the ideal man was a protector, someone who could keep his wife and children safe from beasts (poor people, people who didn't speak English, Irishmen, etc.), but also protect them morally.  It's kind of easy to be seduced by the list of villains I put on here, isn't it?  They're just as rich as princes, sometimes handsome, often decisive and passionate...and maybe therein lies the problem.  The ideal man was not yet passionately in love with the heroine.  

“What do you call all that courtly love business?”

Isn't that more in love with the idea of being in love?  Honestly, you pick a random woman, say you'll do great things for her whether she loves you or not, but at the end of the day, you're the one getting the credit for doing those brave deeds and she'll be seen as ungrateful because you've never even had a conversation with her to tell her how you feel.  Loving a woman in the sense that you physically desire her while still desiring her friendship wasn't happening yet.  In a society that didn't encourage women to be open about their own passions, the men also weren't really allowed to do much that wouldn't result in a scandal.  He was supposed to treat his wife more like an employee than the object of his affection.  He could praise her skills at mothering and running a household, and maybe she could play a mean tune on the pianoforte, but none of her skills were supposed to be superior to his own.  The princes and heroes of the Victorian age were as bland as all get-out because everybody wanted to live vicariously through the more passionate villains.  

Well, film changed how we view the devil.  Did it change how we view Prince Charming?

Who Would Have Thought Melodrama was Boring?

Now, to be fair, not all these guys are princes, but I would be remiss if I was going to talk about princes in film and omit Disney's contribution.  For a long time, Disney animators had difficulty animating human men, and it shows.  Remember that short, Goddess of Spring?  Even though her arms are boneless, she looks like a passable female human. The god of the Underworld, though?  It looks like an old-time Mardi Gras mask.  

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs premiered in 1937, the same year that the Prince Valiant comic strip did, and both princes are given next to no personalities.  Snow White's prince doesn't even get a name!  Please stop saying Snow White is objectified when it's her prince that is treated as nothing more than a goal and subsequently a reward.

“But his heroism is just supposed to be accepted because he's a man and he's royal!”

Is it?  Disney animators tried to work around the lack of princely influence in the Grimm version by writing a subplot about the Evil Queen capturing the Prince and him escaping...but animating a realistic-looking man was just too hard for them.  We don't care about him or look at him like a person.  He's Snow White's reward.  Nothing more.

Cinderella's prince, officially the “Prince Charming” of Disney canon, is also objectified.  He has maybe three lines?  He isn't even there when Cinderella puts on the slipper?  His dad is given more screen time than him?  

Notice that, in keeping with the Victorian melodramas and silent movie traditions, the movies that have the most boring princes have very engaging, very passionate villains.  The Evil Queen, the Wicked Stepmother, and Maleficent in Sleeping Beauty are given richer animation, more distinctive voice actors, and a deliciously evil charm, that, so far, the princes just can't top.  They remained fairly quiet with their heroism just a given.  Around this same time, Laurence Olivier won an Oscar for 1948's Hamlet, the only time an Oscar was given to someone playing a Shakespearean character.  So it seemed like the prince was still relatively unexplored.  “He's a prince!  Must be a great guy.”

Not all princes in early Hollywood were bland, but there was a kind of leading man that got a lot more action, both in the cinematic and romantic sense—the rogue.

In the 30s and 40s, it was more common for the hero of a movie to be anything but a prince.  He was a hard-boiled private detective, a thief (usually of the Robin Hood variety), or a pirate, as swashbuckling dramas were big back then. Princes, therefore, started becoming a little buffoonish.  The ideal man in the 50s was, oddly, the family man.  The prince had changed to the ruler of a suburban home, still retaining all the traits we've mentioned before, only Ward Cleaver (Leave it to Beaver), Steve Douglas (My Three Sons), Ozzie Nelson (The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet), and Andy Taylor (The Andy Griffith Show) all upheld values most of Middle America agreed with and added a truly positive item to our list:

1. Competent

2. Decisive

3. Upper Class-ish (rise of the middle class!)

4. Wise

5. They Want to be Dads

Parody Ensues

The 60s changed a lot of things, how princes are portrayed among them. While the Prince Valiant comic strip was still going strong, people began wondering if this Prince Charming ideal was really a positive thing.  Wasn't the upper-to-middle class white guy the enemy of the Civil Rights Movement?  Wasn't the patriarchal figurehead oppressing and dismissing women?  Were these guys—gasp--just like everyone else in that they're fallible and sometimes do stupid or misguided things? Jeez, these Prince Charmings (Princes Charming?) must all be doofuses when you peel back the veneer.  Isn't that how princes are in real life?

When Royalty Smiles...

In 1973, Jay Williams wrote the children's book Petronella, and it fit right in with the Women's Movement.  Eager to seek her fortune, Petronella sets out into the world like her brothers and learns about a prince held captive by a wizard named Albion.  Albion says she must prove herself by completing certain fairytale-esque tasks, she does so through kindness and wit, and—spoiler alert—she and Albion fall in love.  Turns out, the prince is just a house guest that won't leave.  I can't find the cover art for the back of the book, but the prince looks like a Monty Python character.

In this same year, there was another book out there with a prince who was deceptively appealing.  William Goldman wrote The Princess Bride and later adapted it for the screen in 1987.  The only person who starts out as royalty in the book is Prince Humperdinck, and that name alone should tell you this isn't someone to take seriously.  Sure, he's competent, noted in the film for being an excellent tracker, and he's quite the mastermind, but he's also the villain!  The whole reason he plans to marry Buttercup is so he can kill her on their wedding night and frame another kingdom for it so he can get a war!  Buttercup's True Love is actually a former farm boy named Westley who is doing a stint as the Dread Pirate Roberts.  Humperdinck doesn't stand a chance.

I do like Chris Sarandon's performance.  He brings such dignity to it, which actually makes it more fun.  

As if pop culture wasn't dropping the anvil fast enough that Prince Charmings weren't all they were cracked up to be, Stephen's Sondheim's Into the Woods gave us Cinderella's Prince and Rapunzel's Prince, and the line, “I was raised to be charming, not sincere,” says it all.  Who would have thought a musical about interconnecting fairy tales would have so much innuendo (it's pretty uncomfortable seeing certain parts of this with children, let me tell you), adultery, psychological abuse, and character deaths?  It was finally filmed in 2014 and satirizes these angst-ridden overly-masculine types with the song “Agony:”

We're going to talk about one more before we get an interesting counterpoint to all this parody. Ladies and gentlemen, Prince Charming from the Shrek universe:

Forget the fact he looks like Jaime from Game of Thrones.  Rupert Everett's Prince Charming is a spoiled, prissy snob whose mother is none other than the Fairy Godmother, the brains behind the operation. Seriously, the movie where Prince Charming takes the lead as the Big Bad is terrible.  There isn't much to say about the role even though it's entertaining except that it just goes to the other extreme.  Prince Charming is decisive about not letting an ogre be with the woman that was promised to him, and he does seem competent at horseback riding and doing the tango, but he's whiny, preens a little too much for traditional manly men, and, most importantly, is okay with forcing Fiona to be with her against her will.  

“But, but, but, if the Prince Charming archetype is just an illusion, what kind of man can we have faith in?”

Well, I would say the rogue as in most movies, he proves to be a hero underneath the snark and scruff, but that's another meta (see The Unscrupulous Hero meta).  This brings up a good point—at least these parodies of princes are characters.  They have personalities and arcs.  You can call them a lot of things but you can't call them bland.  Prince Charming up until now has been a construct, a goal, a reward. Everything but a real person. 

Evolution!

Bringing it back to the Disney princes, 1989 responded to all these unworthy princes with Prince Eric in The Little Mermaid.  I consider him the prototype prince since he is substantially given more to do and emote than the previous princes ever were, but he's still kind of vanilla.  Eric likes being out on a ship, longing for a life at sea while Ariel longs for a life on land.  Hmm.  He plays the flute, totally doesn't mind doing the messier tasks a crewman on a ship would do, and the film goes out of its way to show that he is brave and not one to be messed with.  He saves his dog from a fire and harpoons a giant octopus woman.  He hangs out with Ariel, has fun when she’s around, and this was one of the first Disney movies that introduced some chemistry between the human leads.

After Eric came the Beast, Aladdin, and Simba, and while Aladdin is by far the most fleshed-out of these characters, these prince figures were given something Eric didn't have—pain.  Disney's Beast isn't proposing to Belle every night like in the original fairy tale.  We don't meet him as a romantic lead, but as a broken chimera despairing that his entire life seems to be defined by one bad choice.  Simba may not be the most interesting character, but there is a moment in the movie where he starts yelling at the sky (read: his dead father) about Mufasa not being there for him and then just breaks down in tears and cries, “It's my fault.”  Good lord, you feel for him there as much as you do when he's a little cub shaking his dead father in hopes of awakening him.  

Prince Naveen in The Princess and the Frog is not your grandmother's prince.  It's almost a full-out comedic role as Naveen is...kind of a bum.  He's a prince, but he's lazy, so his parents have cut him off, leaving him to either get a job and work for a living, or marry a rich woman.  Ha ha, Naveen just wants to play the ukelele, enjoy New Orleans' night life, and pick the richest of his many admirers to marry.  After he falls for Tiana, he doesn't change all that much.  He is willing to work for something and can buckle down, but he's still that funny, enthusiastic guy you want to be friends with.  He isn't diminished in his relationship with her. Nor is she.  Naveen can get Tiana to loosen up, and while the plot of The Princess and the Frog is needlessly complex here and there, the romance is very strong and their banter is right up there with all the great movie romance banter.

D’awww!

Counterpoint to a Counterpoint

Oh, Prince Hans of the Southern Isles, I'm onto you, what with your romantic-comedy shtick.  To this day I am torn as to whether or not the twist to make him the villain was a good one or not.  On the one hand, it gives his character a reason for being in the story, and it's a realistic lesson that trusting everyone is just as bad as trusting no one.  However, what's the goofy little smile at the end of the clip all about?  Does he genuinely like Anna but still plans to somehow take over the throne?  Is that just how he smiles when he tweaks his own schemes?  His original plan was just to marry Elsa, but now it seems like, “Well, I can marry the cute, funny girl instead and just kill the aloof one.  Win-win.”  

“Psychopaths don't wear t-shirts saying 'You're with Psychopath' on them.”

Very true, and a commonality many psychopaths share in real life is that they are, you guessed it, charming.  They know how to attract people to them.  Unfortunately, though, things like empathizing with those people and putting those people before themselves are not really feasible things for a psychopath to do.  But then again, we are talking about film here, not real life, so is it a cheat that they made him the villain seemingly out of nowhere?  Weren't we supposed to be given some hints about his true nature since this is a story?

If you ask Disney, they did disperse clues here and there that Hans was not what he seemed.  He wears gloves, for example.  Did you know gloves are a visual shorthand for villain?  Never mind that most of Hans' screentime is either at a ball in which gloves would have been fashionably appropriate or when it's, you know, cold outside. Another thing they refer fans to is that in the song “Love is an Open Door,” Hans' lines about “finding his own place” and agreeing that Anna's “sandwiches” response to his “We finish each other's ____” was what he was going to say are indicative that he's stringing her along.  Okaaaayyyy.  

“But if you were taken in, isn't that the point?  Nobody knowingly gets involved with a psychopath.”

Yeah, but this is all so vague.  Consider that while Elsa is the queen and Anna is the princess, they are way too busy dealing with their own problems to actually rule Arendelle or do anything to help all the innocent people suddenly plagued by an unexpected winter.

Look at this!  Doesn't this just muddle things more?  Hans is the one handing out blankets and inviting the subjects to the castle where he makes it a point to say it's warm there and they've got plenty of hot food for everyone.  We're making the villain the only character in the entire thing who does any damage relief?  I'm sure this is probably a “catch more flies with honey than vinegar thing” as the truly logical person would conclude that Hans is just trying to win over the peasants so they don't revolt when he takes things over, and I know that being homicidal doesn't necessarily preclude anyone from being a great ruler, but come on!  

I guess the point the movie is trying to make with Hans is that you can meet a guy who seems great on paper and fits all the items on the checklist we've been keeping track of, but he can still turn out to be a jerk.  And I will say that Disney has tried the “surprise villain reveal” thing in a few of its other movies that came out after this, but this one handled that the best.

The New Wave

I can't say 2015's Cinderella is better than the 1950 version, but one thing it did that I admire was that it made Prince Charming a person. Prince Kit (I would have named him something else, but I digress) has his doubts that he can be as good a king as his father. Richard Madden gets to actually act as he not only has to be a little restless in his role, but also gets to express grief. He had said that the challenge of playing the Prince is to make sure that Cinderella is not seen as being lucky to get a prince, but that this prince is lucky to have found her.

We have an earlier example of this with 1998's Ever After. Prince Henry (Dougray Scott) is a very reluctant prince and shirks his duties whenever he can. It is Danielle (Drew Barrymore) who changes his way of thinking in that he can do so much good with the power that he has, and it is his obligation to do so. He listens to her, respects her, it's clear that he also physically wants her, and the two get plenty of time to get to know one another. His reaction when the princess he's betrothed to starts wailing is priceless because it's so in-character and there's even Leonardo DaVinci thrown in the movie for fun...a very charming movie indeed.

Artie Hammer is also a good prince, Prince Alcott in Mirror, Mirror. About the only good thing in that, actually. I didn't feel it was dark enough to be a Snow White story, but Snow White and the Huntsman didn't have enough joy to be a Snow White story (or enough actual dwarves playing the parts). Again, the Prince gets to be funny, gets to be a bit political as his whole reason for going to this kingdom in the first place is to meet with the Queen (Julia Roberts being horribly miscast). I don't appreciate the amount of ogling this otherwise children's movie does to the poor actor, but for the most part, he's a character in his own right. Maybe soon he'll pick some better projects that don't have him upstaged by a guy pretending to be a Native American like in The Lone Ranger.

But my all-time favorite Prince Charming has to go to Josh Dallas' David “Charming” Nolan on Once Upon a Time.

“Attention, everyone!  I know magical shenanigans are ruining all your lives, but you have to be in the background while the show focuses on my family's drama! For goodness sake, pull yourselves together and be the comic relief!”

Charming is pretty much everything we've covered so far, and you can see the historical detail they put into developing his character.  This prince started life as a shepherd, a commoner who, by some magical deals that don't merit this meta, must pose as a prince.  He gets to be one for real after he marries Snow White, but the crafted him to be a farmer-type guy.  He drives a pickup truck.  He wears a lot of flannel.  He's sometimes old-fashioned with his flaws as he can be overly protective and quick to judge, but he's also quick to change his opinion when he's proven wrong.  

Charming is deceptively easy to understand, and I don't mean that he's an airhead or a parody of what he represents.  I mean that his goals in life are simple. His likes, his morals—they're all simple, even his fears.  The man's greatest fear is that he isn't a good dad.  That's so relatable since every parent has wondered that about themselves, but it's fresh and unique when it's applied to Prince Charming, a “character” far more defined by offscreen heroics than being a member of a family.  In the very first episode, he's taking on three swordsmen while holding his infant daughter.  That's the character in a nutshell. 

It's a role that's a little underwritten, but like Hamlet, that sometimes means you can do some amazing things with it.  OUAT is full of polarizing characters, but Charming is not one of them.  He's universally loved, and that has everything to do with how convincingly Josh Dallas plays him, especially that he is able to play a father to an actress technically older than him playing his daughter.

Even when he doesn't have much to say, Josh Dallas brings so many fatherly gestures and facial expressions to the part.  That might be why the show has given him more and more to do as it's gone on.  It's a new take on the Prince Charming construct, isn't it—that all the sword-fighting, arrow-shooting, horseback riding, face-punching, and villain-confronting this guy does is for his family?  

His relationship with Snow on this show is sort of the measuring stick to which all other romantic relationships are compared to, and I wouldn't even say “Snowing” is the main romance.  While Snow gives Charming some much-needed direction, he gives her confidence. There are so many moments when Snow is doubting herself that Charming is the one to build her back up.  His belief that his wife can do anything is the foundation of True Love, and I don't mean that he sees her through rose-tinted glasses.  They are partners. One gets the sense that they rule together, whether it be in the flashbacks in the Enchanted Forest, or how they handle the town's problems in the present. 

So I would say our checklist is looking more like this:

1. Is a complex human being with positive (competent, decisive, wise, willing to parent) and some flaws to stay interesting

2. Has respect and admiration for his love and their relationship has a healthy dose of friendship in it

But if I were to just list all of Charming's traits—good and bad—or anything other well-written character in any medium—the list might just go on and on.  It's that way with real-life personalities, and opinions will vary on what the ideal man or woman is like.  Prince Charming is no longer an archetype or a plot point but a person, a real person who is inspired to do his best for love at the same time he inspires the person he loves to do their best.  Life is hard, and it's hard to find someone to share it with, but the fact that fiction is emphasizing these aspects is so positive.

#meta; once upon a time; disney; fairy tale; film; books