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kryovene · 6 months

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the 12th house

loosely based on the twelve houses by howard sasportas & liz greene

surrender, the collective, returning to source, unity

the 12h has an ominous reputation, rightfully so. 12h themes are very difficult for most of us to deal with. the 12h is about our yearning for the safety of the womb, to be surrounded by everything and nothing, to be complete and whole. we suffer the trauma of separation to be born and struggle to find that unity for the rest of our lives. our ego and individuality directly conflicts with this emptiness we subconsciously (usually) want to fill.

we want to be connected and return to source. we want to be bigger than ourselves. but we also are very attached to our identity. this internal struggle especially affects 12h placements. love, sex, drugs, prayer, and power are common things used to deal with this urge of being connected or blurring boundaries.

attachment and identity

most of the things we associate with our identity are external. if we lost everything - family, friends, money, housing - we would still be a person. we do not lose our personhood in losing these external factors. so what is our identity then? what is deeper that is not dependent on our outer world? how much of our inner world is also dependent on our perception of our outer world? does our identity change in losing these things, or was that not our identity in the first place? in the moment of losing them what is your identity? how can it change immediately if identity takes time to develop?

the signs through the 12h

aries 12h brings an unpredictable nature when dealing with these themes. these natives may be unaware of where their urgency comes from.

taurus 12h may not be aware of their need for security. they may try many of the strategies mentioned above to figure out what's missing.

gemini 12h has a lot of mental energy that can be hard to organize. they may not even know what to attach to their identity, but don't feel fully connected to source either.

cancer 12h has a lot of emotional energy to work through. probably very nostalgic. may base their identity on others.

leo 12h has their ego very dominant. they may not know that how they react is because of pride and ego. leans to extremes by either sacrificing only the self or only others. likely to seek power/influence

virgo 12h is very sensitive to the hardships of the collective. They want to help and heal others but they may not know how to do so, and this can cause issues with the self.

libra 12h may struggle a lot with the injustices of the world. they struggle to find their place in it all. they want to do the right thing for others but it's hard for them to know how to do right by themselves.

scorpio 12h brings a lot of doubt around the idea of a universal "source". they want to believe in the universe and generally just want to have faith - but life can sometimes beat them down.

sagittarius 12h is no stranger to the pain of the collective, but they don't like to show it. they feel something there but they shift their focus to the self and put surviving first.

capricorn 12h brings a serious attitude to the conflict between source and self. they feel the world's pain and want to work to change it. this may sacrifice their personal attachments.

aquarius 12h understands the importance of being connected to source. however, others may not understand or see them as someone connected, so they may struggle to express their concerns. may be self-sacrificing

pisces 12h is easily influenced by others and may have a changing identity. their ways for coping with being away from source can vary a lot due to impulsivity. this energy is inconsistent and hard to describe

#astrology #astro #astro notes #astro observations #12h #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces

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thegnomelord · 1 month

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was thinking about drawing Ifrit from "Hell has a basement floor" and had some headcanons on his appearance.

on one hand i was thinking to make him tall and burly, built big to store all the mana and power he has, make him built like a volcano.

on the other.... what if and hear me out.... Ifrit.... skinny. tall and gangly, long limbs, underfed, outlines of bones poking out from underneath the skin, sunken eyes for that extra unsettling factor. besides magic does have a cost. maybe it's just your body that needs to be exchanged.

now i thought of the second hc because tall and skinny isn't exactly associated with the kind of brute force Ifrit has but he's still strong even if his lifestyle is gonna put him in an early grave. now imagine when he's finally part of tf 141 they notice that he's not very well in the food and weight department for his height and the amount of energy he spends so... they start feeding him (especially Price and Soap because protect and care hoard/pack)......

i've also been getting into the trope where characters gain weight as a sign of health and living a better life. so yeah tell me what you think

and maybe share your hcs on Ifrits appearance because i don't want to butcher your creation on accident

Okay 1: you have no idea how happy it makes me when I hear ppl want to draw fan art of my stuff :DD, internally I'm like that dog video where the dogs happily tapping his paws lol bc he can't contain his excitement lol. And also yeah, I'm a huge sucker for the trope and your little idea with Price amd Soap tickles my brain.

And 2: man you did some mind reading bc your hcs are actually very close to what I've made up for the lore of the whole au. While I want to overall leave Ifrit's body type ambiguous to give readers some space to imagine themselves in Ifrit's place, Ifrit is 100% underweight with more of a volleyball/basketball player type build, as mages focus on stamina and endurance rather than raw strength bc that can be augmented with magic. Also has stretch marks because their weight fluctuates a lot lol

Okay lore spoilers so if y'all want to find out through the story skip this-

Okay so— magic is increadibly taxing on the body, not just by eating away flesh and creating mage marks as a Mage's power grows, but just by simply existing inside the body magic stresses the body. Because fundamentally magic is toxic to humans, and even mages who have the needed adaptations to utilise magic are no better than our ancestors when they were first learning to stand on two legs.

The best metaphor I have for magic is chemo drugs. They're used to kill a cancer but they also damage healthy cells. Magic, similarly, damages the body by existing inside it, but also is used by mages to heal the damage as soon as it happens. This uses a lot of calories and also why mages have really irregular weights, losing 10kg in a week isn't an uncommon thing.

Someone possessing even half of Ifrit's capabilities would need to eat 3x that of a regular human of the same height and weight. Mages are literally Shaggy from Scooby Doo lol. And that's only to get the bare minimum their body needs, caloric need becomes much bigger if they're active like Ifrit is. So you'll find that many mages, but especially military ones, are underweight and need to regularly get Iv fluids and nutrients to help their body recover from using magic. They also need to eat a lot of highly caloric food, which isn't easy when one of the most common side effects of magic use is puking your guts up.

Most military mages don't reach 30. The average life expectancy is around 25, with active duty (i.e. constant missions and daily magic use) mages lasting on average 3-4 years before their body basically breaks down, but they can last longer depending on how conservatively they use magic.

Now, knowing all that, Ifrit has been actively using strong magic on par with military mages since they were 14-15 years old and while they're not the healthiest, they're healthy as a horse when compared to most mages. The reason behind their continued survival — their mage marks.

#gnome's tea break #gnome correspondence #hell has a basement floor series #hell has a basement floor lore

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elonomhblog · 1 month

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how to reduce acne (and what is acne)

acne is a skin condition that occurs when hair follicles become clogged with oil and dead skin cells. it typically results in whiteheads, blackheads or pimples that can appear on the face, forehead, chest, upper back and shoulders. acne is most prevalent among teens but can affect people of all ages. several factors contribute to acne, such as excess oil production, buildup of dead skin cells, bacterial growth and inflammation.

acne is not inherently 'bad' but it is a source of discomfort for many people. while acne itself is not a bad thing, it can lead to potential complications if not managed properly, such as scarring or emotional distress.

when reading this post, it is important to remember that everyone's skin is different and what works for one person may not work for another. i'd like to add that i am not a dermatologist, and this post is written with my own experience in mind as well as research online.

reducing acne involves a combination of skincare practices and lifestyle adjustments. here are some recommended actions:

properly wash your face cleanse your face twice daily to remove excess oil, sweat and dirt. some common face washing mistakes include using the wrong cleanser, over-washing your face, under-washing your face, the wrong water temperature and using a dirty washcloth. don't worry if this all seems confusing, here's a post on how to properly wash your face.

know your skin type use products suitable for your skin type only--oily, dry, combination or sensitive. you can find this out by visiting a dermatologist or (alternatively) researching the skin types and seeing which best matches your skin.

moisturise moisturiser curbs dryness, which balances oil production in your face and therefore helps to prevent acne. choose a non-comedogenic moisturiser to not clog your pores.

consider over-the-counter treatments think about acne treatments with ingredients like benzoyl peroxide or salicylic acid.

stay hydrated drink plenty of water to maintain skin hydration. good hydration helps to maintain skin elasticity, supports the skin's protective functions and prevents sunburn, sensitivity and oiliness. women should drink about 2.7L of fluids every day (including water, other beverages and food).

limit makeup use minimal makeup and ensure that it is non-comedogenic. don't stop wearing makeup if it is something you enjoy, however, try to limit it in acne-strong areas.

don't touch your face this is a big one, and yet so many people do it. keep your hands away from your face to prevent the spread of bacteria. seriously, you use your hands for so much--you don't want the germs of everything you've touched on your face.

limit sun exposure protect your skin with appropriate sunscreen. and remember to re-apply! limiting sun exposure also reduces skin cancer risk. balance is key, though, because the sun is necessary for vitamin d production and maintaining circadian rhythms.

exercise regularly physical activity can help reduce stress, which may contribute to acne.

enjoy a healthy diet eating a well-balanced diet can support skin health. consider reducing dairy and high glycemic foods. a diet with a low glycemic index may help balance hormone levels, which is the same effect when insulin spikes occur less. essential nutrients promote skin health and help to repair and maintain the skin barrier.

invest in stress management find ways to reduce stress, such as journaling or going for a walk. stress can worsen acne. this is because, under stress, the body's healing process slows down, meaning acne can take longer to heal and become more severe. stress hormones can also increase oil production, leading to clogged pores.

(images are from pinterest)

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thefandomlesbian · 5 months

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So no pressure at all not to answer if you don’t want to. Just if you do know…

*could* House still have his leg amputated? Would it help?

Initial disclaimer: I am not a doctor and I don't claim to be, any misconceptions are my own!

So we know that amputation was originally on the table in 1999/2000 when House initially had his infarction and then brought back into the limelight in 2011 when he committed bathtub butchery. But outside of those two acute incidents, could he have an amputation in the interim?

It's sort of a multipronged question because amputations, particularly above knee amputations (AKA) are pretty involved, risky surgeries. There's a lot of significant vasculature in the thigh that can be difficult to control. The femur in the thigh is the strongest bone in the human body, breaking a healthy adult femur is the equivalent of cracking concrete. Contrary to what House says when he claims surgeons are going to err on the side of "caution" and take his leg to protect themselves from complications, there are a lot of risks involved in taking a ~70 lb limb from the body. Patients after an AKA are 4x more likely to suffer a cardiac event. It's not just about preserving function if at all possible (though that is a concern). AKA is lower risk than, say, allowing a necrotic muscle to continue to rot inside the body, but if a healthy person with a mobility device walks into a surgeon's office and says, "I would like to have my leg amputated because of chronic pain," many surgeons are resoundingly going to say no.

That is especially complicated by House having had an infarction, a blood clot. Muscular infarctions are rare and almost exclusively happen in diabetics, so for House to have had one as a nondiabetic man in his late 30s/early 40s, he probably has something unusual going on in his blood to cause atypical clotting factors. He should be taking bloodthinners to prevent another infarction from occurring. By definition, that makes him a higher risk patient for any surgeon--he comes off the bloodthinners for surgery, putting him at risk for another infarction, or he doesn't and he's now at risk for hemorrhage.

Add to the equation that House is American in the world run by insurance--no insurance company is going to approve an amputation in a guy who's walking with a cane. Some would probably try to slide it by as a cosmetic/elective surgery to escape any financial responsibility, so he'd be looking at around $50,000 out the gate for surgery alone.

But the question will it help? is one that... really can't be answered. Again, contrary to what the canon displays, phantom limb pain is seldom easily fixed and can become chronic, plus the physiology is extremely poorly understood, so it's much more difficult to treat than standard acute or chronic pain. There's a pretty good chance that, with time and healing after amputation, House would have a fairly normal, pain-free existence, given he'll always be disabled and he'll face the struggles of using a prosthetic/walker/crutches/whatever mobility aid he chooses. There's also a chance that he could continue to live in chronic pain, now less treatable, while healing a surgical incision and learning how to walk again. It could fall either way. (And potential complications, ie a second infarction, cardiac event, no limitations, there's a lot to work with.)

All of that said--this is just in terms of my experience and limited knowledge. I think amputee!House is something that should be explored more often in fandom, from all sides of the equation (1999, 2011, favorable outcomes, unfavorable outcomes). It's worth mentioning that within the scope of the House MD universe, House does believe that he would be a happier person in less pain if he had had his leg amputated.

In terms of fanworks, anything goes! (I mean I literally wrote a soliloquy on how/why Wilson's cancer is considered terminal while simultaneously writing my WilsonLives!AU, so it's safe to say we should all be comfortable hurling realism in the toilet for the sake of Fix It FanFiction.) There are no rules, medicine as we know it doesn't exist, you can do Whatever You Want for the sake of the narrative.

#spencer speaks #house md #hate crimes md #hatecrimes md #gregory house #hugh laurie

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maaarine · 10 months

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The Cause of Depression Is Probably Not What You Think (Joanna Thompson, Quanta Magazine, Jan 26 2023)

"A literature review that appeared in Molecular Psychiatry in July was the latest and perhaps loudest death knell for the serotonin hypothesis, at least in its simplest form.

An international team of scientists led by Joanna Moncrieff of University College London screened 361 papers from six areas of research and carefully evaluated 17 of them.

They found no convincing evidence that lower levels of serotonin caused or were even associated with depression.

People with depression didn’t reliably seem to have less serotonin activity than people without the disorder.

Experiments in which researchers artificially lowered the serotonin levels of volunteers didn’t consistently cause depression. (…)

Although serotonin levels don’t seem to be the primary driver of depression, SSRIs show a modest improvement over placebos in clinical trials.

But the mechanism behind that improvement remains elusive.

“Just because aspirin relieves a headache, [it] doesn’t mean that aspirin deficits in the body are causing headaches,” said John Krystal, a neuropharmacologist and chair of the psychiatry department at Yale University.

“Fully understanding how SSRIs produce clinical change is still a work in progress.”

Speculation about the source of that benefit has spawned alternative theories about the origins of depression. (…)

Repple warns, however, that another explanation for the effects his team observed is also possible: Perhaps the depressed patients’ brain connections were impaired by inflammation.

Chronic inflammation impedes the body’s ability to heal, and in neural tissue it can gradually degrade synaptic connections.

The loss of such connections is thought to contribute to mood disorders.

Good evidence supports this theory.

When psychiatrists have evaluated populations of patients who have chronic inflammatory diseases like lupus and rheumatoid arthritis, they’ve found that “all of them have higher-than-average rates of depression,” said Charles Nemeroff, a neuropsychiatrist at the University of Texas, Austin.

Of course, knowing that they have an incurable, degenerative condition may contribute to a patient’s depressed feelings, but the researchers suspect that the inflammation itself is also a factor.

Medical researchers have found that inducing inflammation in certain patients can trigger depression.

Interferon alpha, which is sometimes used to treat chronic hepatitis C and other conditions, causes a major inflammatory response throughout the body by flooding the immune system with proteins known as cytokines — molecules that facilitate reactions ranging from mild swelling to septic shock.

The sudden influx of inflammatory cytokines leads to appetite loss, fatigue and a slowdown in mental and physical activity — all symptoms of major depression.

Patients taking interferon often report feeling suddenly, sometimes severely, depressed.

If overlooked chronic inflammation is causing many people’s depression, researchers still need to determine the source of that inflammation.

Autoimmune disorders, bacterial infections, high stress and certain viruses, including the virus that causes Covid-19, can all induce persistent inflammatory responses.

Viral inflammation can extend directly to tissues in the brain. Devising an effective anti-inflammatory treatment for depression may depend on knowing which of these causes is at work.

It’s also unclear whether simply treating inflammation could be enough to alleviate depression.

Clinicians are still trying to parse whether depression causes inflammation or inflammation leads to depression. “It’s a sort of chicken-and-egg phenomenon,” Nemeroff said.

Increasingly, some scientists are pushing to reframe “depression” as an umbrella term for a suite of related conditions, much as oncologists now think of “cancer” as referring to a legion of distinct but similar malignancies.

"And just as each cancer needs to be prevented or treated in ways relevant to its origin, treatments for depression may need to be tailored to the individual."

#article #health

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aria-ashryver · 12 days

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yooooo im SO tired, have a health update 💞

(which was going to be another video update but then a bird came and i got distracted and now im too tired to speak lol. also WOW imagine being so pale you create your own god rays slkdjf)

so, ive been feeling like hot garbage for some time, which is perhaps not surprising with the whole "was poisoned via chemo for a year, is still recovering" thing. Recently my heart has been feeling Not Good TM, and the fatigue waves are getting pretty extreme at times.

So, I followed this up with my doctor, very much expecting it to be a case of "no you're just out of shape / your asthma is playing up / you're just being super lazy, try harder, etc". He booked me a specialised heart test which I had last week.

Uhhh apparently I wasn't just being pathetic! (Which is somewhat gratifying to know that there is a reason things have been so hard lately and it's not just in my head)

There is a thing called your Ejection Fraction, which is essentially a measure of how much oxygenated blood your heart is pumping around your body -- its the factor that keeps you feeling energised.

Mine has dropped. Fairly significantly. When I had the same heart scan in October, mid-way through chemo, I was still retaining a lot of my heart health and muscle mass from when i was pre-chemo, so my EF was sitting at about 80. Which is a sign I was initially quite physically fit (or, to quote my oncologist: "giiiiirl, you a Boston Marathon runner or what?)

Since my last scan, my EF has dropped to 58. Which is still actually higher than average, most people sit at about 55, so I've dropped to an average range lol.

My heart is working, but such a significant jump is still cause for concern. My oncologist said that if I had been less young and fit, it would have been a case of dropping from 55 to somewhere in the 30s, to which he said "you'd struggle to even walk down that corridor at that point."

At this stage, I have a (hopefully reversible!) cardiomyopathy. Unfortunately, reduced heart and lung function can be complications of the two immune therapy drugs I am taking to prevent my cancer from coming back. So the current course of action is to put my immune therapy treatments on hold for 9 weeks to let my heart recover.

Yes, that is a tad spooky, but the drugs have a very long half-life, so I should be okay not taking them for that short period. On the plus side, this should hopefully improve my overall quality of life while my heart heals, and a break from immune therapy will be really nice anyway, because that shit hurts lmao.

Otherwise, the metastatic cancer in my spine and my hips remains stable and is still showing signs of healing because I am AWESOME AND COOL. Oh, and I also had a massive internal lesion (a chemo complication I never mentioned here bc like... if I told you guys every little thing that's wrong with me, we'd be here all day lmao) but that is now healing on its own too!! Woo!

So... ye. Gonna have a nap, knowing that medically my heart is broken and I have yet another reason to take it easy now haha.

Send me lots of "oi don't get cancer again in the next 9 weeks you absolute nugget" type vibes. I don't think I will, I'm not worried, but yk yk vibes are nice 🥰💝💖💓💕🩷💞 if you are still reading, I hope you have a wonderful day!!!

#aria pincushion tally:#complete #look how much hair i have now whoa #i have chemo curls

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suniverseastro · 1 year

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ASTROLOGY OBSERVATION #12

The wonderful things of the 12 zodiac signs

Aries: frank, enthusiastic, cheerful, funny, honest, easy to communicate

Taurus: wisdom, listening, calm, love, likability

Gemini: interesting, agile, intelligent, sly, vivacious, attractive communicator

Cancer: funny, caring, affectionate, lovable, role model "mother" of many people

Leo: strong, warm, heroic, cheerful, affectionate, creative, childish, likable

Virgo: delicate communication, dexterity, sharpness, intelligence, careful care

Libra: smart, charming, lovable, sociable, easy to approach, the right way of doing things, at the right time, with the right people

Scorpio: attractive, attractive, manipulative, charismatic, mysterious, fierce, EQ and IQ are all not the right form

Sagittarius: cute, curious, agile, approachable, free-spirited, optimistic, inquisitive, truth

Capricorn: reliable, calm, good listener

Aquarius: cute, clever, humane, sharp, loves to explore

Pisces: gentle, dreamy, compassionate, spiritual, love beauty, love truth, love what is right, healing energy

The planets combine to form an irresistible attraction in the sysnastry chart (applicable to the Sextile, Trine and possibly Conjunct angles) :

Sun-Mars : Magnetic attraction

Moon-Moon: empathize, connect and understand each other as an individual, each carrying the emotions and feelings of the other (Conjunct offers both an almost telepathic connection but can also be overwhelming because the two are easily influenced by each other.)

Sun-Sun: comfortable expressing themselves, easily communicating, sharing, natural trust and support for each other

Moon-Venus: use words of love, affection, full of emotions for each other, very gentle, very affectionate

Venus-Venus: easily understand how to express the other's feelings

Mars-Mars: flames catch each other to create heat fever ect… Any planet with a Sextile/Trine, especially a Conjunct with the planet Pluto forming an aspect (Sextile/Trine/Conjunct) with the other person having the same position as the ones above, this relationship brings about profound, haunting and extremely unforgettable, it can be a fateful relationship or contribute to a small part in each person's life. Eg:

Personal chart of A with position Sun in Leo trine Pluto in Sagittarius creates angle trine with B with position Sun conjunct Pluto in Sagittarius

C has Venus conjunct Pluto creates conjunct angle with B The above example is taken from the fact that B is me and A, C are my two beloved friends (in our chart there are also other angles and some difficult angles but much less). (Here, I do not judge any relationship that is appropriate or inappropriate just by looking at the position on the synastry chart, because in fact there are many other factors such as geography, economy, education, family. , culture, religion, faith… more influence)

Sending love <3

#astrology #astrological observations #sun-mars #sysnastry #attractive aspect #sun-#sun-sun #pluto #venus-venus #venus-mars #moon-moon #moon-mars #sun-venus

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celestewilllow · 2 years

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ASTRO OBSERVATION P2

>>Mercury in Scorpio/Scorpio degree- they can be very blunt. not in the same way Taurus or Aquarius are( they deal with facts and are more logical ) but mercury in Scorpio will tell you to fuck off if needed.

>>Asc conjunct mercury - a gift for vivacious speech, they can move mountains only by communicating their ideas.

>>Libra with Scorpio placements or Scorpio with libra placements- MAGNETISM aka femme Fatales. But all in all, they are very dutiful and can make very interesting and loyal partners.

>>Having absolutely no placements in 5th or 7th houses doesn’t indicate late or no marriage. there are other factors for it. Partnerships won’t be so much of a focus mostly, that’s it.

>>The thing about Jupiter in the 12th being divinely protected is true. ( me and my sister both have this placement and both of us have been rescued on time from some very dangerous consequences, me from getting kidnapped and my sister from wild animals) [ story for another time ig :) ]

>>Water sign risings In my opinion attract people who need comfort, support, and healing.

>>Air sign risings attract people who need opportunities for selfish reasons.

>>Moon in Libra in 1H are super sweet and giving but it can manifest as someone who appears very sweet and considerate but are very self-centered emotionally and can slightly offend you by suddenly being selfish. ( I mean it’s up to us to realize that we don’t owe anyone anything so finance your emotions yourselves, babes:))

>>Venus conjunct/opposition Pluto- being so intense in relationships. Not everyone can handle y’all love, so give only where it’s worth. Oh also a suggestion- be wary of getting jealous and people who are jealous of you guys.

>>People with a combination of lots of aquarian and Piscean degrees/ signs- You’ll are everyone’s mates. You have a higher view of community and are so open-minded and accepting. People like to have you around tho not everyone gets y’all but don’t let that stop you. Your ideas are for the bigger minds.

>>Your Jupiter signs can tell how you can attract luck and abundance- for example, Jupiter in Cancer- by service/help in a way or two without expecting anything in return. Jupiter in Libra- by being able to understand and see things from all perspectives. Jupiter in Leo- by being the naturally charismatic leader that you are.

>>Your Venus sign can tell what qualities you like in a person, but to find an ideal person look at your Descendant, Juno(3) sign, and asteroid groom(5129)/briede(19029). There are so many other factors but these could resonate the most.

>>How the air Venus signs love:

Gem Venus- 🧡they could think of you all day and still not get tired. thinking of you when listening to that song. reading that poem, writing that poem. always wondering what you like, what you’re doing, etc. Finds you in everything they do, knows all ur favs. They could wander around here and there and still find something that relates to you. Going into the details in their underrated specialty. just communicate interestingly enough for them.

Libra Venus-💗 Venus is at home here, They will make you comfortable in love. They will put you first. They will include you in all their doings and expect you to stick with them both when they’re up to some bad shit or just in a bad place. Because they would. Will also keep up with your shit. just be clean and polite with manners.

Aqua Venus-💜Will accept you just the way you are. No pressure. What they won’t share with the world they will share with you, even if it’s hard they will try. Will be your best friends first and then, will be everything at once. They’re open-minded so don’t be too scared to say anything. small tip- if you crush/love an Aqua Venus, before you confess just get a slight, tiny confirmation you can expand beyond the friend zone because their friendzone is a huge zone 😆

Have a peaceful day ❤️.

(I do not own the picture)

#astro community #astro notes #astro tumblr #astro observations #astrology #mercury #scorpio #ascendant #libra #jupiter #12th house #libra moon #1st house #venus #gemini venus #pluto #libra venus #aquarius venus

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extinctionstories · 11 months

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What do you think of companies like colossal, who are working to bring back the mammoth and thylacine, among others? I’m on their email newsletter list because I’m fascinated and feel the need to keep up with their progress but will it ever actually happen? I’m not convinced. Hopeful, but not convinced

Thanks for the ask! I hope you don’t mind if I ramble a bit, haha; as with all extinction stories, this is something that I have a lot of feelings about.

For as long as I can remember, the various Mammoth People have been making announcements like clockwork that we “will have a live mammoth within ten years!” The first time I heard it was, oh, about twenty-five years ago.

Back then, the plan was to clone directly from permafrost tissue; my understanding is that now the strategy has shifted to gene-editing an elephant to make it into a mammoth. I’ve also heard similar ideas thrown around about trying to make a thylacine out of a numbat or Tasmanian devil, or a Dodo from a Nicobar pigeon. At that point, I have to wonder what the point of it all is?

Professedly, we want to bring these animals back in order to heal the wounds we have left in the web of life. To have them step back into their places, as though they had never left. But how could a genetically-modified numbat or elephant ever fill such bespoke shoes? Even if we were capable of it, how would we even begin to “program” the instincts and behaviors of animals of which we know so little?

Do we, instead, simply want the satisfaction of seeing a lost animal standing in front of us (or at least, something that looks like one)? Anyone who loves extinct species is familiar with the hunger for photos, videos, sound recordings—anything, to see them. Will we be happy if science can present us with the living, breathing equivalent of a museum’s goose-feathered imitation Dodo? A Disneyland sort of creature, like Franklin Dove’s unicorns, with no natural place outside of some big budget exhibition?

(Has the existence of rebred Tarpans and Heck Cattle soothed the ache we feel when we look at cave paintings of ancient horses and bulls?)

Personally, I would jump at the chance to see an extinct animal be alive again, in any form or capacity. Even just seeing a realistic CGI reconstruction of a passenger pigeon flock, or a Steller’s sea cow, would absolutely thrill me. Selfishly, I can admit that I do just want to see them—to have that lost experience of knowing what it was like to look at these lost creatures. As long as I feel that way, I can’t judge de-extinction efforts too harshly.

The fact is, though, that DNA is much more fragile and complicated that anyone could have guessed during the first heady days of Jurassic Park.

When Celia, the last living bucardo died, the effort to clone her was already in progress. The team had so many factors on their side: tissue samples collected while Celia was still alive; an ideal proxy species to carry the cloned offspring; a thorough understanding of the biology and reproductive mechanisms of goats. It was as close to an ideal situation as could be hoped for. Nearly 300 embryos were created; a single one survived to term. That clone died minutes after birth, due to a malformation of her lungs, giving the bucardo the rare distinction of being the only animal to go extinct twice.

And that’s not even getting into the problems presented by the theoretical cloning of egg-laying animals (which also represent the majority of extinct species).

Technology progresses in ways we could never imagine. One day, I’m sure the things that these groups promise will be possible, and more; we’ll discover the cure for cancer, and the cure for regret. For the time being, though, de-extinction is a self-indulgent distraction. It’s attention-getting clickbait, at the expense of animals that are still here to save—a plan to raise the crumbling hulk of the Titanic, while ignoring a thousand other ships sinking around us without a lifeline.

I know some of the companies involved do state that they intend to use their discoveries and funding to benefit extant endangered species, but I don’t think it undoes the damage that is done every time a website runs a headline like, “This Company Is Bringing Back the Dodo by 2030!”. It all erodes the gravity of extinction in a way that greatly concerns me. The more times a person sees de-extinction presented as a simple, achievable matter, the closer they will come to the conclusion that, well, extinction isn’t forever. And if the loss of a species can be so easily reversed, then why should anyone be overly concerned about its prevention?

#extinction #from the storyteller

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starry-blue-echoes · 10 months

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Further Thoughts inspired by the spacesuit horror comic (and a lil by the rest of the guy's gallery frankly)

So. The pillarmen.

A lot of stuff about them is vague and idk exactly what I'm remembering wrong or whatever, but!

From what I recall Kars and Esidisi used the masks to elevate themselves above other pillarmen, created masks for other creatures like humans and horses along the way, and the long term project was the perfect mask to make them the ultimate lifeform.

I wonder how much control they had over those manipulations of their biology, when they mutated themselves thus.

The form Esidisi takes after Joseph initially beats him- nothing but a nervous system with maybe a few blood vessels - he must have known he could do that, by how seamlessly he was able to hide, to possess Suzie.

Was that knowledge because he and Kars had planned it, had gone through the cold calculations of survival, deciding what parts of him to reinforce the best against hamon, even knowing it might be excruciatingly painful, not quite sure how well he could recover if he was reduced to such a state -

Was that knowledge from experience, from Kars thinking he'd died before, cornered by hamon users, all his flesh burning away bit by bit- perhaps a battle of attrition, cutting off hamon-tainted flesh again and again even as his energy to replenish it runs dry, before a final desperate attempt to peel away every inch of himself save the bare essentials so he could escape - and even then they found him - but he wove his veins and neurons into their own in an act of desperation, puppeteering them from the inside, taking advantage of the ensuing chaos to flee back to Kars before the hamon user wrests back enough control to burn him out of their body, they manage it, just shy of fast enough to kill him, he stumbles into the cave in a body ablaze and Kars rips apart the flesh to reveal his lover and Esidisi cannot move or speak for weeks, months, as he recovers, and all he can say is that he saw the sun through the hamon user's eyes and it was beautiful -

And in the end it happens (again) it comes to this, Esidisi stripped down to only the most essential parts of himself, knowing this time there's no way out, this time he'll burn, but he can at least give Kars, Kars who lacks this gift, this curse, to survive after your flesh burns away, the chance to see the sun -

(and Kars gets a gift/curse of his own, to achieve everything he'd ever wanted but incapable of appreciating it and utterly alone, unable to ever die-)

I wonder how vampires/pillarmen might respond to ionizing radiation besides UV, since it never comes up in cannon. I mean, most likely it'd burn the same as UV if not worse, but -

Would even touches of it poison them? What if it didn't kill outright? What if it disabled or weakened their healing factor? What if it only seemed that way because the healing factor was entirely absorbed healing the radiation damage, until suddenly, perhaps even well after the exposure, it gives out entirely, and they rot from the inside out. Radiation can cause cancer too- and with a healing factor like that, so many rapidly dividing cells... Perhaps with other parts of them giving in, the careful guiding hand of that healing factor falls apart and that turbocharged flesh bubbles with tumors like a pot of water at boil.

(I do have an oc with a radiation based stand but uhhh they're not super fleshed out and explaining enough about their world to explain even the basics of who they are and the symbolism in their stand would be. So much.)

... I'm in a very Horror mood today.

HEHEHEHEHEHEHHE YESYESYESYESYEYS

we love spooky horror shit in this household <33333

#ough this was some good fucking soup #jjba #jojo’s bizarre adventure #battle tendency #battle tendency spoilers #jjba part 2 #jjba kars #kars #jjba esidisi #esidisi #jjba wamuu #wamuu #sb answers #dragoninthelabratory #canon filing

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evansblues · 1 year

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Annual Profections and Transits:

Each year we have a profection. It’s similar to karma, it’s some aspect of life we are meant to work on. It it the year of our age, not the calendar year. The profection tells us what area of life will be the focus for the year and what planet will be our yearly ruler. You can google ‘annual profection (your) rising’ to find yours.

Chis is 41 currently and a Scorpio rising so his annual profection is in 6th house Aries ruled by Mars.

Profections are Hellenistic astrology and because he has an interception his Hellenistic Aries is in the 6th house while in Placidus it’s in the 5th. The 6th house is your daily life and coworkers, the 5th is your creativity, and it’s also recreational sex. In Hellenistic astrology Mars also rules Scorpio. I talked about his Scorpio placements in his natal reading, know that they will be affected this year. The significance of Mars in his profection is what I will briefly get into.

As you recall his natal Mars is in his 7th house Gemini in Placidus, which is what I’ll discuss. Hellenistic (whole sign astrology) is more literal and Placidus is more psychological. By way of example, the area of his life affected in whole sign is his coworkers and daily routine, the places he feels are is his creativity, specifically performance since he’s an actor, and his sex life. I spoke before about how his Mars is a very big driving factor in his search for his wife and also in his passion for social interactions, being a Gemini, and also his hookups. This planet leads this year. So does transiting Mars and where is that? Well it uncharacteristically spent seven months -between August 20, 2022 and March 25, 2023- in Gemini with his natal Mars and Sun-the two driving factors in his social life, partnerships, and sense of self. Just banging around his 7th house. It was retrograde between October 30th and January 12th. So for those 7 months his yearly ruler was lighting up his need to find his person, to party, to be liked and seen, to engage his passions and to be himself.

Mars has now moved into Cancer with his Venus and Mercury in the 8th house and he will be very focused on finding transformation through love and beauty. It will be lighting up his mind. Venus is now in his 7th house, the planet of love and beauty bringing gentleness and love to his partnerships. Chiron and Jupiter are conjunct in Aries, his profection sign. This can be soothing to wounds or expansive to them. I think it is the latter for him because they square his Cancer placements and because Aries is where the eclipse happened April 20. He also has Juno, Mercury, and Uranus on his natal Chiron in the 6th speaking to unordinary thoughts on society and marriage and his daily internet presence. I fully expect him to go dark for a while. His Chiron squares transiting Lilith in Leo, his desire for rebellion is in direct conflict with his need to maintain his day-to-day lifestyle, self care, and look good to coworkers. Maybe he won’t go dark. He’s impulsive and rebellious over planning. The wisdom is to go dark and heal. The eclipse trines his first house Neptune so going into hiding or focusing on creative things support the public’s imagination of who he is. It supports his self image as well. He can imagine nice things.

We are now in eclipse season. This eclipse season will jettison the old to make way for the new. Both the solar eclipse on April 20th and the upcoming lunar eclipse in Taurus on May 5th will affect him greatly. The lunar more-so I think because it brings in the new for Scorpio placements and closes the cycle. It will help rework his Scorpio feelings to align with his new purpose. Until then the energy is very chaotic. Keep your eyes peeled.

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jihopng · 5 months

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*please note that this blog is a sideblog to redlike so i cannot follow anyone back!

things i shouldn't be: this. things i'm doing: this. i'm bringing in my second character; kim jiho, who i feel is a lot more approachable than hanbi and definitely far sillier in comparison! definitely a bit of a comedic relief character so!! as per usual, information underneath the cut and you can read his brief about page here xoxo

only child, born to a human mom and an anomaly having dad!

his mother has always been on the sickish side, so they lived off of a single salary, which wasn't much when you consider the fact it was a construction worker's paycheck (and his dad was basically getting overworked bc of course the employer would exploit the fact that their worker cannot get hurt on the poorly secured construction sites...) in spite of it, jiho has a genuinely normal upbringing and a loving family.

as per law of nature, and his dad being a registered anomaly, he was being monitored like always. and for a bit jihoparents were thinking that their son is simply a human, and that he will live a normal life but of course there is always an of course

*tw car accident* when he is 4 years old, he's slippery and hyperactive and so he runs after his ball into open road. a passing car hits him and he's like, a preschooler and a car is a car so. he's badly hurt and there's drama and. well. the nasty wound on his face closes on its own and eventually his broken bone heals on its own. soo that is how the big news is broken to his parents that jiho did in fact inherit his dad's sturdiness aka a regenerative healing factor! at least it's something helpful and at least his mom doesn't have to worry about him hurting himself?

anw. gets lowkey bullied through school for being a loser and having an anomaly because it's lowkey freakish in kids' eyes ??? but also the bullying is kinda??? literally why are u bullying n doing all of that extra shit to someone who can't get hurt BUT ANYWAYS it pissed other teens off how he would stand up even after getting a whole chair broken on him so. never back down never what? never give up. it's like that two goats on a bridge story. literally jiho all u had to do was remain there on the ground and pretend youre broken . alas...

skip forward. third year in his nursing degree on a full scholarship (his application letter was a really, really nice sob story. no ai) bc he wants to help his mom and in general wants to help people. feels lowk guilty that both him and his dad are in perfect health while she's always struggling. tried applying to gangcheori as a yin, but then the administrative facility looked at him like "you good?" and put him in yang. he shrugged it off. he just wants to be involved x

however, if youre wondering how did he get this far and how is he maintaining his scholarships? damn.. me too. seemingly with no work ethic at all and takes things wayyy too casually for his own good. you look at him and you're like damn... HE is gonna draw my blood??? but in reality he is very dedicated .. when he wants to be. n he's doing it for his mom. yes. mom's boy. look away...

libra sun gemini moon cancer rising and if i know anything from twitter its that libra men are to be avoided??

genuinely someone who's always positive and joking around, trying to make the mood good even if the apocalypse is happening around him. a little bad with social cues (you're crying because of a failed exam that's totally going to end your entire career life forever and ever and he's telling you about this fish with a massive forehead he's seen on tv and how the XYZ-class professor is forehead twinning with the fish), will definitely tell you he shares birthday with eminem, doesn't really take people mad at him seriously until it's last second. laid back. unserious. social anxiety fears him: the character. blame it on him getting hit on the head one too many times and some stuff not healing properly. it's easier to explain it like that

always around the campus doing SOMETHING..in everyone's business, nosey men epidemic and hes a victim of it. avid tiktok user. addicted to tetris + sugar

content of his messenger bag: timetable, study books, painkillers (for others), snacks (for himself), chili powder, dry food (for campus stray cats), wallet, entangled headphones, hand sanitizer, a singular pencil (questionable if it works), a hot wheels batman car, bandages + bandage scissors, glow stick, failed lottery tickets, keys.

his anomaly is regenerative healing factor! it can range from a scratch healing almost instantly like it never happened, over getting stabbed and then continuing to classes, to him regrowing a limb a-la deadpool 2 style over the span of a month or two. just don't try it because his powers don't actually nullify pain, meaning that everything still hurts like hell and he will cry. power is kinda op so there's more limitations on his mini dossier !!

as far as plots go, obviously always down for brainstorming but here's some stuff i came up with !!

while he's in yellow hall i still haven't actually placed him in a room so if anyone wants a roommate lmk!! very much gen v lizzie coded where he does have a whole minifridge with snacks and alcohol he carefully snuck in, is always ready for a party and will be your personal hypeman. hangs on his maximum brightness phone late into the night ...

like i said he's always around on campus and actually he's always skateboarding! so he keeps running into your muse... again and again and at some point they BOTH start thinking the other is doing it on purpose but it's literally a coincidence???

or.. in typical jiho loser fashion he falls down while skating. scrapes his cheek against the pavement. his leg is twisted. your character runs up to him because what the fuck. except jiho just twists his leg back and smiles as his face comes clean again. but your character was sooo worried so they owe him a get better meal now

in same breath, your character knows that jiho can heal and nothing will happen to him if in dangerous situations so they pay him to beat someone up? except he can't really fight BUT he takes the money anyway...

god help you if the person who came to your mind for fake dating so that one weirdo leaves you alone is jiho but he will try his hardest to be the best fake boyfriend ever even if it really does look fake as hell because bro's never even held hands

yellow hall and gangcheori friends! like i said he's easy to be friends with so anything goes

he feeds any cat he can come across of around yellow hall (and elsewhere.) so someone who is maybe also doing it? like damn we are really overfeeding them... or someone who's like. a hater ... why are you teaching the cats to make a home here theyre all strays

drinking buddies except it takes him so much to get drunk that you've also made a pact where jiho is gambling as to who can outdrink him and he always wins so you share the money

🌿 buddies except it takes him so much to get high that you're wondering why is he even trying to do it???

anyways. jihocore

also for current event! jiho will be attending the blue hall afterparty because he does not own a single piece of fancy clothes. probably doing kegstands somewhere in the corner. daring people to get drunk with him. getting into fights with drunk people? and / or helping getting the drunkards to dorm rooms so they're safe

#nm:intro #i've nooo idea how IM work from sideblogs but i will try it.. if all fails and i dont figure it out i will approach frm hanbi's blog huehe

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1016anon · 1 year

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On Bridgerton's Queen Charlotte & Mental Illness

I've only watched the first three episodes of Queen Charlotte and I have not read any reviews about the series. I didn't plan on writing this, but apparently I have Thoughts and mental illness is something which has always been important to me.

Spoilers under the cut.

Trigger warnings: Discussion of suicide, depression, substance abuse. Mention of post-natal depression, eating disorders, obsessive compulsive disorder, bipolar disorder.

The problem is: love is not enough.

At the end of the third episode, Charlotte manages to convince George to stop yelling at the sky and come inside.

Why is she able to do this?

Because she loves him.

Reynolds, who's known George much longer and therefore has likely seen and learned the ins and outs of George's episodes stands uselessly to the side with a blanket, but Charlotte, thanks to her Great Love for George, is able to draw his attention away from Venus and get him inside.

Perhaps I will be proven wrong when I watch the fourth episode next weekend, but I know how this story usually goes: She gets him warm, gets him safe, surrounds him with tender loving care and understanding so that when his episode is over, he may not believe he is deserving of love, but he will know that he is loved.

Love will give Charlotte the strength to stay with him and have fifteen children. Love is patient, love is kind, it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13.

It's a common trope, well worn, familiar as that fucking bible verse. The trope is not only used in a romantic context. It speaks to the great love parents have for their children, or the Power of Friendship, or whatever kind of love it is you're looking to validate. It's got enough verisimilitude to be persuasive and enough optimism to be seductive.

And it's wrong.

Not only is it wrong, it's actively harmful. Because the corollary to this idea is that when love fails to heal, it is because the loving person did not love enough, or the person who is ill did not love them back enough.

Love is not enough, it has never been enough, and it will never fucking be enough. I hate this trope and I bristle every time I hear it in songs, see it in movies and tv, or read it in stories.

If love were enough, people would never commit suicide. They wouldn't become addicted to drugs; they wouldn't become alcoholics. They would be able to snap out of their manic depressive episodes; they would always be able to distinguish between what is real and what is not; they would be healed of PTSD; they would not obsess over routines. They wouldn't have eating disorders; they would stop exploding into rage; they would never be depressed.

If love were enough, the people who love individuals with mental illness would not feel helpless, frustrated, angry, desperate-- because their love would be enough to fix it all. Their love would be enough to convince their suicidal partner to stay. A child's love would convince their alcoholic parent to quit. A parent's love would be better than lithium.

To reduce the treatment of mental illness to love is to reduce the failure of that treatment to love, and as a result place the blame on the people who are supposed to love.

Mental illness is chemical. It is biological. It is because of neural pathways and neurotransmitters. It is a result of the strange coping mechanisms the human brain has developed over the thousands of years of evolution. I'm not denying that there is an enormous environmental factor.

However, I do not believe that anyone gets cancer because they are not loved enough, and I do not expect anyone to be cured of cancer by the power of love.

The human brain is an organ. Sure, we can dress it up with fancy terms about it being the seat of intelligence, wax philosophical about the soul or spirit, houses the essence of humanity, blah blah blah, whatever. It is first and foremost an organ and like any other organ, it can and does fail.

Mental illness is a lot of things, and only recently recognized as Real thing. Prozac was approved by the FDA in 1987 and while antidepressants are now widely recognized as helpful, that was definitely not the case even twenty years ago. Today, there's still a very real stigma associated with its use that makes people hesitate to actively consider it an avenue of treatment.

"Well, what did you expect from a spinoff of Bridgerton?"

I don't expect anything. That doesn't mean I'm not allowed to criticize it or point out things which are harmful. It's a really popular series. Number 1 on Netflix or whatever.

What I want to do is write this for myself, and for anyone else out there who is either asking themselves now, or will ask themselves someday, why love has not healed everything like it ought to have done.

Because I've heard it time and again from people left behind after a loved one commits suicide: Why wasn't I enough to make them want to stay? Didn't they know I loved them? (Why didn't they love me enough to keep living?)

Loved ones dealing with substance abuse: Why don't they love me enough to quit? Why wasn't I enough to convince them to get help? Where did I go wrong? If they really loved me, they would stop.

And the flip side, during an argument or in a moment of frustration: You don't love me enough to stop! If you loved the baby, you wouldn't be depressed. If you loved your parents, you wouldn't put them through this! If you loved your partner, you would have gotten help.

That's why this trope is destructive.

Mental illness and the treatment of mental illness are not about love.

Sure, love can help. But sometimes it doesn't.

Again, perhaps I will be proven wrong in the subsequent episodes of Queen Charlotte. But for me, the damage has already been done. She tells him that she is Venus. Goddess of love. Venus is going inside, so George needs to follow the love and go inside also. Love is going to lead him home.

#bridgerton #queen charlotte #mental illness

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clickerflight · 9 months

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Whump Week: Your blood looks so pretty

@week-of-whump

Masterlist

Part 3

This one is actually a plot point that I've explored a lot in previous whump challenges, and will continue to explore.

Content: Semi-immortal whumpee, creepy whumper, vivisection, permanent scarring, restrained, blood, mention of skinning for just a moment, healing factor training, self mutilation (whumper), acid in wounds, stress position, healing wrong (I guess?

Let me know if I missed anything cause this one's dark

........................................

Matsu stared into the light above the table he was tied to before looking over at the wall, watching the swirls of colors that somewhat blinded him. It was the most interesting thing he'd had to do for the past few hours. He didn't know why he was here, or what the man who brought him to this place wanted from him, but he was trapped here and he couldn't escape.

He thought back on the man. There had been something very wrong about him. Matsu wanted to say he was of fae descent, but it was hard to say. The man was bent over and knotted, and he almost seemed to be missing parts. He certainly was missing his sanity if the look in his eyes was anything to go by.

Matsu heard the door open and he lifted his head from the table to see what was going on. The mad man was back, hunched over and grinning.

"Hello," the man crooned and it sent shivers down Matsu's back. There was something very wrong about this man, but the half mer couldn't quite place what. "Are you ready to get started?"

"About as ready as I was three hours ago," Matsu said mockingly. "What's this all about, old man?"

"Old?" the mad man said, tipping his head. "If you need to call me anything, you can call me Yarrow. Or, no. You are quite special to me so I should have a special name to you. How about Hailey?"

Matsu wrinkled his nose. "What's going on here?"

"Ooooh, yes. I'm a scientist, you see, and I have some interest in you as it pertains to the research I'm currently conducting. How much do you know about healing factors?"

Hailey waited for a reply and Matsu finally gave in. "Some people have it, some don't. It's usually genetic and can often lead to cancer."

"Smart boy," Hailey said, clapping his hands. There was a pop and a cart full of medical grade tools appeared beside the table. Matsu eyed the knives and rib cutters nervously as Hailey said, "Now, sometimes there is someone who comes along with a trainable healing factor. A healing factor that becomes quicker and more powerful with time to the point that they nearly achieve immortality. So, why don't you guess at why you're here."

Matsu snapped his attention back to Hailey, eyes wide. "I don't have a healing factor, what do you mean?"

"Oh, yes you do. It's hard to spot because it's not trained up yet, but I tested some samples and it's true. Since you haven't had to heal all that often it hasn't presented itself as a healing factor yet. Don't worry. We'll be changing that," he said, picking up a syringe and a knife.

"W-wait, no. There's been a mistake, I-"

The syringe plunged into Matsu's thigh hard enough that he could feel it unloading. He pressed his head to the table, dizzy as whatever was injected made its effects known immediately. Or maybe that was just the shock.

Hailey got to work cutting open Matsu's clothing with a zeal that could only be seen on a child's face on Christmas morning.

"I'm going to make you perfect," Hailey whispered before neatly skinning Matsu's collar bones.

...............................................

Matsu panted, blinking hard against the light above. He didn't know how long he'd been here. It felt like years. It had to have been years. Hailey stood over him, watching as muscle tissue mended before his eyes.

"You've made quite the progress for the short time I’ve had you. I think you have a talent for this," Hailey commented. Matsu heaved a sob, trying not to think about how he could feel the skin that was supposed to be along the front of his torso folded down across his sides.

Haily jabbed something into his torso, spreading his ribs to reach in and touch something. An entirely foreign sensation wormed through Matsu's body and he squirmed despite the intense pain jolting through him.

Hailey reached in deeper and Matsu sobbed, feeling him touch the inside of his back. The pain was unbearable. It was like nothing he could describe. The pain along where he had been vivisected was like lines of fire. Pins in the flaps fastened them to the flesh of his arms, making the folded muscles cramp as they were forced to the sides unnaturally.

He could see the flaps of skin and muscle twitching as he flinched, trying to get away from the invasive touches.

Hailey continued to stroke Matsu's spine, a strange look on his face, like he was awakening to something.

He pulled his blood covered hand out of Matsu and looked at his subject's face. He reached out, still in a daze. Matsu flinched, sobbing without restraint as Hailey painted Matsu's face with his own blood.

"So pretty," he murmured. "So, so pretty. I'm never going to let you die."

......................................

Matsu was on his feet, arms chained above his head. He stared vacantly at the ground, shivering. He'd been through three vivisections, and there wasn't even a mark on his torso to prove it. Hailey had even opened up Matsu's head and everything had already healed back up even though it had taken place only three days ago. Matsu had no idea what the mad scientist would do next. Scoop out his eyeballs? rip off his fingers to see if they grow back? He already did so to his fingernails, and they'd grown back within the hour.

Matsu ran his thumb over his nails, shivering more. He wished the others would find him soon. The only thing keeping him sane anymore was imagining Kira helping him down, flirting with him the whole time while Anisha and Laurance pounded Hailey into a little pile of goo.

Matsu closed his eyes. They wouldn't leave him here, right? Even if their emotional bonds failed somehow, he was still their healer. Still their distance fighter. He was still Kira's husband.

When he heard the door open, his legs gave out from fear and he hung in the chains, shivering uncontrollably.

The chain's lowered until he could kneel upright, his arms still stretched out far above his head.

"I wonder how much it would take to scar you," Hailey said, as though it were an intriguing thought.

"No," Matsu groaned, closing his eyes against the very idea. "Please, mercy. Please. Whatever I did, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Oh, it was nothing you did," Hailey said, pouring something over his blade which sizzled when it hit the ground. "Just what you are."

"Why are you doing this!" Matsu screeched, struggling to get out of the chains, but even if he broke his hands he wouldn't be able to escape them.

"To make you perfect. You're not the only one, you know. Here. Hold this and I'll show you."

Hailey stabbed the acid-covered knife into Matsu's shoulder, the burning whiting out Matsu's vision. When he could see again, acclimating slightly to the pain, Hailey had turned around and removed his lab coat. There were burns and scars all over his back, including two large ones where wings used to be.

He looked over his shoulder at Matsu and grinned. "I've been perfecting myself too, you see."

Matsu couldn't even comprehend what that was supposed to mean, but that became the least of his problems as Hailey buttoned on his coat again, pulling the knife out of Matsu.

The half mer gritted his teeth. He could still feel the acid burning him, but where it had burned itself out he could feel it healing.

Hailey reapplied the acid and got to work.

He carved a line from Matsu's left collar bone down to his ribs on the right. And he did it again, and again, and again. Matsu shook, unable to curl in on himself to protect himself. He screamed the first few times, and then his voice gave out, only allowing him hoarse cries, and eventually just a shallow burbling that Hailey seemed to really enjoy. Hailey poured the acid directly into the wound, everything dribbling down Matsu's front and melting his flesh. He shoved something into the wound to keep the skin from closing and, after taking a moment to paint Matsu's face with a mixture of blood and acid, he left, whistling as he went.

..................................

Matsu didn't remember much after that. What he did know was he had a horrific scar across his chest.

"Matsu? Matsu? Can you hear me?"

Matsu opened his eyes. He was laying on the floor, his arms bound behind his back. He didn't remember getting there.

Laurance crouched over him, looking him over.

"Laur....." Matsu wheezed. His voice was still mostly gone, more from exhaustion than damage. His voice couldn’t be damaged anymore. Laurance pulled Matsu into his lap, cutting away the restraints with a practiced flick of his knife.

"We've got you, okay. Who did this to you? This place is abandoned."

Matsu blinked hard, raising his hand to his face. He was losing seconds with each blink, too tired to think straight. His hand. His hand felt wrong. He tried to lift his pointer finger, but something moved wrong in his wrist and his ring finger lifted. He stared at it for a moment before moving each finger, trying to figure out why it was wrong.

"Matsu?"

"He..... he connected my tendons wrong," he whispered. "Why.... why would....when…"

Laurance held Matsu close as the man broke down into small, raspy, whimpering sobs.

Part 4

@whumpsday

#semi-immortal whumpee #creepy whumper #mention of skinning #healing factor #vivisection #scarring #restrained #blood #self mutilation #acid whump #whump #whump challenge #whump week #week-of-whump #poor Matsu #he's going through it today #whump art #stress position

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evangelinesbible · 2 years

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MY EUTERPE PC

Sun in Pisces conj. Venus, Uranus, and POF 8H

- Pisces is naturally a very musical sign so making music is very easy for me, and people pay attention to my music because of how effortless, magical, creative and unique it is

- the vibe and aesthetics of my music gains it attention. By staying unique and thinking outside the box gains my music attention. My biggest songs might involve themes of love or pertain to an ego/ an egotistical song.

- the benefits and blessings I’ll retrieve from my music will be therapeutic and introspective. I’ll be blessed to always be creative and imaginative with my music. There’s a chance of gaining an inheritance because of my music.

- love songs might sound spiritual, intense, and deeply romantic/poetic. I might have new and unique takes on the topic of love, sex, and money in my music.

Libra Moon 4H conj. Libra Jupiter 17° 3H

- Big emotional connection and reaction to music

- famous for dramatic, emotional and poetic writing

- Having classy emotional maturity in my music

- An affectionate and warm feel to my emotional songs

- songs may be more emotional when talking about partnerships/ relationship with family

Leo Rising 0°

- peoples first reaction/impression of my music might be “it factor” or all up in your face

- by first impressions my music might make me seem that I see myself as popular or “that girl”

- My music might make me be seen as someone with a braggadocios or prideful vibe.

Mercury in Pisces 9H

- creative writing comes very naturally to me

- dreamy, imaginative, and visual writing

- messages are philosophic, exaggerated, open minded and expansive

Mars in Capricorn 6H

- consistent, disciplined, and goal oriented

- having a clear idea of what I want my music to sound like and how to approach making my music

- Aggression is ice cold in music and when music involves themes of sex or sexuality it might come across dominant and sensual

Saturn in Cancer conj. Lilith 12H

- challenges to overcome may involve talking about sex/sexuality in music

- songs talking about challenges with sex, drugs, family, deep hidden emotions, the darker things in life, and/or alcohol

- overtime music matures and becomes more maternal and emotionally mature and sexually confident

Neptune in Aquarius 7H

- still pertains a dreamy and maybe sometimes trippy aesthetic

- romantic escapism in music

- secret or hidden work partnerships (pertaining to music)

Pluto in Sagittarius 5H

- Transforming, reprogramming, and reinventing my music by using my creativity

- Having full creative control and freedom in my music can help me transform myself.

- Music that feels freeing and liberating can cause me or others catharsis

NN conjunct Starr in Aries 10H

- my music is fated to give me up some public attention

- my music is fated to inspire and lead others

- my music could be destined to make my career/ music being my career

- my music is destined to shine, standout and inspire

Leo 2H

- Powerful vocals in my music

- Confident and creative vocals/vocal techniques

- My vocals shine through in my music

- Showy, gaudy, and fantastical vocals

Scorpio 5H

- creative process involves thinking about what prowl are afraid to talk about

- tapping into taboo/ dark topics or toxic mindsets

- embracing sex, sexuality, and sexual confidence in music

- music that makes me feel unapologetically confident and unapologetic of my darker thoughts heals my inner child

Sagittarius 6H

- routine is not very clear cut and stays relatively relaxing when making music

- it flows naturally and vibes feel freeing

- working with others is laid back

Taurus 11H

- Creative audience

- Audience that understands the artistic meaning behind my music

- Loyal audience

Starr conj MC 10H

- standing out/ shining in my career because of my music

Talent conj MC 10H

- being seen as very talented with music throughout my career

Glo conj. Sun

- music naturally glowing and gaining attention

- music can gain me fame

Sorry it took so long. I’ve been working a lot. I really like this chart. It gives me some confidence 💋

- 💫⚜️💫

#astrology #astro observations #astro placements #astro notes #astrology notes #persona chart #euterpe #Euterpe asteroid #asteroid persona chart #Glo asteroid #talent asteroid #Starr asteroid #north node #Euterpe persona chart

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