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writerslittlelibrary · 2 months

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How can I help you?

masterlist

summary: since you were small, your mom has always been able to help you feel better. fallen ice cream, scratched knee, your mom always knew the solution. but now? it almost seems that even your mother doesn’t know how to help you now…

pairing: Natasha x depressed daughter reader

warnings: depression, suicidal thoughts

genre: angst, fluff

words: 1459

a/n: I’ve been in quite a weird period the past two weeks. my emotions have been weird and confusing, which is why I haven’t posted anything in a while. I apologise for not posting a lot, and I promise to get at least three small fics out this week :)

You do not have my permission to repost, copy or translate my work

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You can’t really remember when it started. You were always fond of being in your room, yet at some point, being in your room wasn’t really your choice anymore. When you didn’t know who to blame, you simply blamed Covid. Ever since that virus came, your life has become confusing.

Natasha would usually just blame it on your teenage years. You were going through puberty. Your body changed. Your mind changed. Everything changed.

However, somewhere, deep down, you knew it wasn’t your age.

You graduated last year, and because you weren’t sure what you wanted to study, you had decided to take a gap year. Natasha was incredibly supportive. She said she didn’t want you to choose anything because you felt like you had to, so you didn’t choose at all.

The first few months of your gap year were amazing. You were enjoying all the free time you suddenly had, spending it with either gaming, reading, or watching your shows.

At some point, however, it started to become boring.

You didn't want to go back to school. However, you also didn’t really want to stay at home anymore either. You didn’t know what you wanted.

Most days, you slept in until noon. Natasha would leave for work early in the mornings, and you would stay behind in bed. You only saw your mother when she came home late from work. You didn’t tell her about you sleeping in so late. Your mother has always followed a healthy lifestyle. Even on the days she was free she would wake up early.

She never shamed you for sleeping in. She never woke you up or told you you needed a better sleep schedule. However, still, for some reason, you felt ashamed.

You didn’t tell her about your energy disappearing either. You didn't tell her you didn't have the energy to get out of bed anymore. You didn't tell her you lost the energy to eat. You never told her you lost the ability to take care of yourself. At one point, it just happened.

You knew that if you ever told Natasha she would be worried sick. You knew she would do anything to make you feel better. She had done so since she adopted you.

When you were five you were in the park, and Natasha had gotten you ice cream. However, you were a little too excited, and after jumping once, your ice cream rolled off its cone. You stood there crying, while Natasha simply picked you up and assured you she would fix it. She kissed your tears away and got you another ice cream, in a little paper bowl this time.

When you were 9, you were playing outside. You fell while your auntie Yelena was chasing you, and you scraped your knee. You clutched your leg and you wailed for your mama, and there she was. She picked you up and once again she kissed your tears away. She took you inside and gently cleaned your wounds. She allowed you to pick out a beautiful band-aid, and she gently placed it on your scratch, before kissing it better.

However, how could she possibly fix this? How could she place a band-aid on a wound she couldn't see?

You felt hopeless, and you felt as though the only way out would be to end it. You weren't very fond of the idea of ending your life. You didn't really want it to end, after all. You just wanted your current life to end. Your life was slow, and for some reason it felt as though you were merely floating around.

At some point, you stopped existing. You stopped being you. You just became another dot on the map.

You weren't a person anymore. You were a thing existing in this world. You were existing, but you weren't significant. You didn't matter, so what difference would it make if you weren't there anymore at all?

Today was no different. Natasha had gone to work early, leaving you to sleep in. You were still in bed, even though it was already 4 pm.

However, what you didn't know was that Natasha had been seeing something was wrong for a while. She knew you weren't yourself, and she knew you struggled taking care of yourself. Yet, for your entire life you've always wanted to do things yourself. You never wanted your mom to help you. And so, even now, she decided to give you time to figure things out for yourself.

However, now she decided that time was up. You weren't getting any better, and Natasha was only growing more worried with the day.

She had gone to work that morning, but at her job she told her boss that she was taking a few weeks off. Her daughter needed her, had been her truthful excuse, and her boss agreed. She went home around 4.30 pm, and when she entered the house she found out you were still in bed.

She walked towards your room and softly knocked on your door.

“Sweetheart? Are you there?” Natasha spoke as she opened the door, her eyes quickly adjusting to the darkness in your room.

“Are you alright, honey?” Natasha asked as she walked into your room, closing the door behind her and sitting beside you on the bed. You barely acknowledged her presence, humming softly while you pulled your blankets up a bit, trying to shield your face from the light coming from the hallways.

Natasha let her hand gently stroke your hair, feeling the oily and knotted hair that rested on top of your head.

“Are you okay?” Natasha then asked, and before you even had time to respond, you started crying.

Natasha didn't hesitate to pull you into a sitting position, pulling your body so it could lean upon hers. She allowed you to sob into her shoulder while she gently stroked you back, letting you know you were safe.

“I don't know why I feel this,” you sobbed out.

“It's alright, sweetheart, you don't have to know,” Natasha explained softly as she gave you a kiss on your hair. She held your head tightly to her chest, allowing her lips to rest upon your head.

“I don’t feel good, mama. I don't wanna be like this,” you sobbed out, and it didn't take long before Natasha realised what you truly meant by that.

However, being the understanding mom she is, she didn't comment on it. She didn't suddenly sprung you with motivational quotes, telling you you have so much left to live for. She simply held you, sushing you as you cried and sniffled in her shoulder.

“Can I help you?” Natasha softly asked after a few minutes, waiting for your confirmation.

When you gave a small nod and let out another sob, Natasha lifted your body out of your bed, carrying you towards the bathroom and putting you down on the toilet cover.

She turned the water on, allowing the bathtub to fill with hot water as steam filled the room.

“I’m gonna grab some clean clothes alright? I'll be right back,” Natasha stated as she went back into your room, grabbing some clean clothes before returning to the bathroom. She set the clothes on the rack, helping you off the toilet seat and out of your clothes.

After you were settled in the bath, Natasha pulled out some shampoo, massaging it into your head before rinsing it out, repeating the process with the conditioner.

After your hair was clean, Natasha grabbed a comb, gently working on the knots and matted parts of your hair. After she finished, she washed your hair again, enjoying the feeling of the now silky soft hair in between her fingers.

After finishing your hair, she helped you wash the rest of your body, before helping you out of the bathtub and drying you off.

Natasha didn't allow you to walk yourself, instead lifting you up into her arms and carrying you down the stairs. Luckily she was crazy strong, so despite your age, she could still easily carry you as if you were merely a small child.

After you were settled on the couch, Natasha went into the kitchen, preparing you a nice and healthy meal.

For the rest of the day, you simply sat on the couch, leaning on your mama while she gently stroked your back. It might have seemed lazy to the normal person, but for you, it was change. You weren't alone, for starters. There was daylight in the living room, and there was social interaction, even if little was being said.

In the end, you realised, that despite the wound not being visible, your mama would always be able to stick a band-aid on it.

Fic tags: @prentissluvrz @natsbiggestfan1

Permanent tags: @marvelnatasha12346 @lesbionion @nova-kyle @darkstar225 @saraaahsstuff @marvelwomenarehot0 @screechcat @iheartjohansson @tia-thesimp @swaqcenix @karmasgxrl @marvel-lous3000 @n0txn3vee @lorsstar1st

#black widow #marvel #natasha x reader #mcu #avengers #natasha romanoff #natasha x reader platonic #natasha x daughter #marvel reader insert #natasha romanov #natasha #natasha romanoff x teen reader #natasha romanoff x daughter #natasha romanoff x reader platonic #marvel cinematic universe #reader insert #depressed reader #natasha x depressed reader #mama natasha

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pianocat939 · 6 months

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…

(I ended up studying for like 5 hours today on foreign language idk why, but yeah- I’ll try to get a request done. And start on Ch. 1 of monster series)

I make way too many alternates but…

Just listen.

Mean girl Donnie.

Tw: implied/explicit threatening, implied bribery maybe?, very disorganized thoughts, blackmailing, controlling behaviour, degradation, please read with caution just cuz’ the relationship is pretty toxic…in a controlling way

Like not the popularized, blonde and have a group kind of mean girl-

I mean like…

Super smart and super rich Mean girl Donnie.

He’s on the way to valedictorian, (and will be). He has a lot of power within the school, whether it’s being leader of multiple clubs or a student president.

He’s super fucking rich. (Somehow…) He’s wearing Dior, Prada, Saint Laurent, Swarovski, Burberry- Anything you can imagine of luxury.

He never looks bad. Ever. He’s always looking perfect. He could be wearing a really dashing purple suit and loafers one day. And another day be wearing hot pink and white sweater and skirt- like he wears all kinds of clothes. But he never looks bad.

He doesn’t have a minion group. He solely believes in his independence. [His brothers…he doesn’t put much notice on them, he’s a more notable being]

Let’s say MC is like. Just there. Not unpopular or popular…just there.

Their life is pretty mundane until they accidentally bump into Donnie while he was fixing his- idk lipstick or eyebrows- causing it to go wild on his face.

He’s immediately offended, confronting them why they have the audacity to ruin his perfect makeup/brows.

[his appearance (feminine or masculine) changes every day so either situation works]

MC ends up getting a life of hell from then on.

Wether they’re accused by teachers for no reason, or wondering why their friends or more on edge when talking to them. Their school life isn’t exactly hell…but isn’t great either.

At some point, they can’t tolerate it and ask Donnie what he did. Only to end up unraveling a horror story of a dictator.

He’s blackmailing them, threatening that he’ll expose it to everyone, and anything. (MC didn’t even do such a thing, he just managed to fake it).

Poor MC can’t help but accept his deal by being his “minion” for the next month.

In the morning, MC has to basically chauffeur Donnie to school, in a flashy ass Bugatti.

They have to carry all his stuff, and follow him around. They can’t go through their normal schedule, they have to follow his.

They have to participate at all his extracurricular events, meetings, whatever.

Until a few weeks later, the things they have to do change.

They have to wear the clothes he’s picked out for them on whatever day. [it’s always matching in colour or style with his]

They have to call him any form of endearments he wants. And gets pissed if they don’t.

[Now I know he isn’t for physical touch, but for the sake of the alternate bear with me]

On days he wears lipstick, he covers them in kisses on their face, staining their cheeks all over. And they can’t take it off, because of his annoyance. So the entire school knows.

They have to follow EXACTLY the same schedule as him, even outside of school. Like…maybe not doing the exact same thing, but waking up, sleeping, and all like the daily things have to be aligned with his.

They have to call him every night and talk with him…keep him company. (Which MC soon realizes Donnie actually thinks of MC as a significant other, just in a controlling way.) He gets quite lovey-dovey during the midnight calls.

“MC…you’re the only person I like touching at all~ I mean…you look so stupid walking around covered in my lipstick stains hihi~…”

They sleep over at his house every weekend- they’re just basically incorporated into his life.

…

By the end of the month, the entire school just considers MC as Donnie’s lover…and MC can’t deny the title no matter what. The school believes Donnie more than MC.

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(This brain rot turned out a lot longer than I thought oops-)

You know, we got rich mean girl Donnie,

How about Dumb Pink Squad Leo? Like, the actual stereotypical mean girls.

- Celina

(I need help from my thoughts lmao)

#rottmnt #tmnt #yandere #yandere rottmnt #yandere x reader #rottmnt x reader #yandere tmnt #tmnt x reader #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #donnie x reader #yandere donnie

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rhinestoneskye · 11 months

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Woman Jn A Dream

I don’t know what kinda home the Kiszka boys grew up in, but their music just reminds me of that country home down in the hollow, where nothing really matches but at the same time it does because it’s a mess of patchwork decor and it all has one thing in common: the simple fact that it’s crunchy and probably passed down by other family members. Like the frosted colored plastic cups, and the fake wood walls that match the floors, and the orange yellow lights and all the old quilts. Like I had grandparents who’s homes were like this and I LOVED it. So that’s kinda the vision I had for the home in this fic.

Edit- I found Pinterest photo examples!

Josh x Fem!reader

Warnings: cursing, the fear of losing loved ones, a random moan, Josh in no pants.

Word count: 3.1k

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The peace that surrounded us was like many mornings before. And yet this one, no matter how similar to the rest, was unique. They were always unique.

The hardwood floor and the matching -vertically placed- wood wall adopted an orange-brown appearance. The doily blinds on the window across from the bed had never been drawn the night before. Josh and I got into town too late in the evening to mind. His childhood bedroom was decorated with mementos of music and theatre. Just as one would expect. Old programs of shows he’d been in painted the wall above his desk. John Denver records sat on a shelf -on the opposing wall- that flexed downward in the middle only in the slightest. There were a few framed pictures hung about. Ones with the band when they first formed. Photos of garages they’d played in, the first article written about them, a stray graduation photo.

Josh and I had spent almost a week together after tour before he had asked if I wanted to go home with him and his brothers to visit their parents. I couldn’t say no. I loved the boys, and I loved their family as well. I had extended a further invite to Danny after I discussed it with the three boys. Karen had a guest room, and Danny had been ecstatic to go with us.

A yawn escaped my lips, making no attempt to remain particularly quiet. Usually I tried to mind Josh’s sleep schedule, but he was home. I knew the moment his eyes cracked open, they’d never shut again until the evening hours. He’d want to be up early. Then again.. there was a good chance his mother wasn’t even up.

My head lulled toward the night stand on my side of the small bed, eyeing the old alarm clock as I tried to read the blinking number. Just barely 5:30 in the morning. The dew would still cover the grass, the air would still have a humid chill to it. The birds were just beginning to rouse. Their songs faint in the world outside. I heard the comforter rustle. Felt a leg brush my own. My gaze drifted back toward the man sleeping at my side. Josh was anything but a peaceful person. He was chaotic and excited. He had a mind full of wonder, and held so much love for the world that I never understood how he didn’t explode. I could never comprehend how he loved everything. Cared so deeply for even the things that hurt him.

The thorn of a rose could prick him and he’d rather bandage the damaged stem than his own finger.

His lips parted, bare chest rising and falling slowly with a heavy exhale. His hair was a hot mess. It reminded me of the years of our childhood, when we’d get up after sleepovers, and I would watch Karen fix his hair in the bathroom while I sipped on juice.

A thud tore my gaze from my sleeping lover, staring at the door in anticipation. It was a distant sound. I was uncertain who it came from. Then I heard feet trample down the steps. It had to be one of the boys.

The gentle caress of a hand against my arm warmed my flesh. I hummed at the feeling, peeking back at Josh to see his head turned in my own direction. His eyes just barely began to flutter, another heavy breath escaping.

“Morning, love.” I whispered, turning onto my side and propping myself up on an elbow. He seemed to barely register the words that left my lips, his eyes closing once again. I chuckled softly at his exhaustion. He’d done quite a bit of driving the day prior. “Josh.” I called his name softly. My objective nothing more than to bring him from whatever world of dreams had a grip on him.

“Not yet.” His whispered words were accompanied by the gentle squeeze of his hand before it fell from my arm and back to the mattress. I carefully reached out to brush the middle of my index finger against the bridge of his nose, relishing in the way his head tilted up into the feeling, until I reached the space between his brows. “I can’t keep you here.” He mumbled incoherently, a statement I didn’t completely understand. But Josh often said things of that nature when half asleep. Emotional or thoughtful things that he wouldn’t explain at a later time. These were the rare moments when his mind was too groggy to guard itself. When he was vulnerable enough to share just a little of what went on upstairs. If one could pry enough from his lips at times like those, one could understand his mind much better than before.

“You’re not keeping me, Josh.” My finger trailed from one brow to the next, before I dragged my knuckles down the side of his face. Too much contact would wake him up faster. Not enough would allow him to wander back to sleep. “I don’t mind laying with you.”

“S’not like that.” His brow creased. I stopped my movements.

There were often moments when Josh got so lost in his own mind, that he forgot reality. Moments when he couldn’t enjoy life because he got caught up in the idea of it ending. Not that he wanted to end it, or that he ever had anything wrong enough to be so morbid, but even as the day is long, night still creeps in. Josh’s biggest fear was that of losing the things around himself. His family, his friends, the life they’d built. Me. We had a good relationship. We were happy, stable, healthy. His concerns never rose from the fear that he was doing something wrong, but rather that I might cease to exist one day. He never liked to vocalize the word, ‘death,’ but I always imagined that’s what he meant. He was afraid I might pass and he’d be alone.

“Why don’t you open those pretty eyes, huh?” I prompted after a moment of silence. Another long exhale followed, this one more labored than the last. Threaded with dread and worry. I moved my hand from his jaw to his chest, felt the pendant of the gold J he wore, then dragged my hand further toward his abdomen. “Josh.” I leaned forward to kiss his shoulder. He stirred slightly.

“Please not yet.” His eyes squeezed. I could sense the tension. “I just wanna keep you a little longer.” He was more coherent. I could tell by the sound in his tone. “Please.” His voice was trapped between a quivering plead and the sound of a man who’d simply given in. A little scattered.

“I’m right here.” I leaned forward and kissed just beneath the outer corner of his eye. I felt the way his lashes fluttered against my skin. “You can keep me all day if you open your eyes.” In his head, I existed forever. In Josh’s mind, I never had to disappear. He was in love with me, the physical me, but attached to the memories and pictures his mind created. His dreams offered the comforts that I could not, because he never let me in too much when it came to his darkest concerns.

“You’re right here.” Josh repeated softly. Distantly. I couldn’t tell if he was talking to me or the girl in his dream. A girl I desperately wanted to see. Myself. Through his eyes.

I gently traced the few bumps on his sides, faint spots where I could feel his ribs. Then my hand dipped lower to the bruises on his hip.

“Josh.” I repeated more sternly. “Your mom’s gonna be waiting for you.” He’d live forever in a dream if he could. Where the world was perfect and people didn’t die. Where nobody left and he could spend eternity with his family. Sometimes I wondered where the fear came from. Josh never spoke of somebody close to him passing away. I always assumed his fears were what happened when somebody was so full of love and wonder about so much. If you love everything, then you have everything to lose.

Another heavy breath left Josh’s lips.

“My mom.” His tone became a whine. I dragged my hand back up his side, toward his chest, up the side of his neck.

“Jake‘s gonna get to see her first.” I whispered tauntingly, brushing my thumb against his jaw. “Five minutes before you.” He stirred, leg pushing against my own once again.

Just bring him out of his own mind. Just distract him from his world.

“I think I hear her right now.” I gently tugged on one of his curls. Josh’s eyes fluttered once again, a bit faster than the first time.

“I came out first.” He clearly wasn’t comprehending the entire conversation, which helped me understand that most of our previous conversation had been in his subconscious mind. I cooed at the sight of his dazed expression, pushing my hand through his messy hair.

“I know you did, honey.” I answered softly. To use sarcasm, or make fun of him too early, would only cause greater confusion. He just needed somebody to agree with him while he gained full awareness of the world around him. “The birds are singing for you.” I whispered, “hear ‘em?”

“I always do.” His eyes closed again, a blissful look adoring his smooth features as a smile overtook his face. He was finally awake. “Mourning doves.” It amazed me how he could always tell what they were.

“You wanna go find your mom?” I pulled my hand from his hair and sat up, stretching my arms over my head and extending my legs toward the end of the mattress.

“What time is it?” Josh’s eyes opened again.

“Almost six.” I peeked back at the alarm clock.

“She won’t be up until eight.” I would have questioned his logic if I hadn’t known him longer. Over time though, I had learned Josh knew his mother like clockwork. He knew almost everybody as such. “Let’s get something warm and go sit on the porch.” His hand found my thigh, giving a gentle squeeze before he sat up with a groan. His hip bothered him, I could tell. Not in a severe way, but simply when he moved in certain directions. That damned tambourine.

“Tea?” I suggested.

“I think I might actually be in a coffee mood.” His brown eyes looked like pools of honey as the sun reflected off a mirror in the room, lighting up half of his face and the area behind him.

“You got it, dove.” I rested my hand below his chin and guided his lips to my own.

Josh let out a sound as he pulled away, nothing short of an obscene moan that he always knew irritated me. I didn’t mind in certain situations, but after such an innocent kiss, I knew he only did it to annoy me. I gently pushed his chest and slid out of bed, hearing his amused giggles. “Get dressed, you ass.” I scolded in a lighthearted manner, reaching for the shorts I’d discarded the night before. I slipped them on before I found my way over to his old dresser. I rifled through a drawer before I found a t-shirt to change into. I had packed a bag, but nothing felt better than wearing Josh’s clothing. Clothing that fit me fairly well all things considered.

“Oh, yeah.” Josh’s flirtatious tone had my head whipping in his direction as I changed from one shirt to the next. His eyes trailed the back of my body. I flipped him off.

“I love you too, honey.” He responded to the gesture with sarcasm and a cheeky grin.

After I got the new shirt on, I grabbed a hair tie from his nightstand and slipped out of the bedroom.

The blinds in the living area had all been opened, the beautiful morning sunlight cast upon all of the furniture, and Danny, who was on the couch with a book in his hands. His head raised when I reached the bottom of the steps, earning a grin from him.

“Morning.” His soft voice rang out.

“Coffee?” I offered, though he shook his head.

“No thanks.” I slipped into the kitchen, and it wasn’t long before the drummer followed. I made quick work of finding the coffee pot, and the items I needed to get the caffeinated beverage brewing.

“You guys left late last night.” Danny commented as he found a seat in the kitchen.

“We didn’t plan on it, but Josh is late to everything. He didn’t pack until like- maybe six?”

“Jesus.” Danny’s quiet laughter brought a smile to my lips.

“That’s what I said when he was running around like a madman freaking out because we were gonna be late. I told him he should have packed earlier, and he said, ‘I was busy!’” I mocked his voice with a soft chuckle.

“Thanks for inviting me by the way.” I turned away from the coffee maker and smiled, looking up at the tall drummer.

“Of course. You’re a brother from another mother.” I teased, watching the way his cheeks flushed. Danny always felt embarrassed to be called part of the family. He never wanted to intrude, but I wondered when he’d realize that he wasn’t. They all loved him. Especially Karen, because he was always ready to eat when she made something, and much like a grandmother, she could offer food over and over, and he’d never turn it down.

The scent of coffee quickly overtook the kitchen. I folded my arms over my chest as I waited for the pot to fill, my senses brought to attention by the familiar smell. I didn’t have to wait much longer before the last drop filled the pot. I went looking for mugs, only to accept the assistance of Danny when I found them on the top shelf of a cupboard. He pulled two out, and I filled them with both to the brim. Mine didn’t need much doctoring before I went on to perfect Josh’s coffee how he liked it. I heard feet on the steps the minute I tapped the metal spoon I found against the side of the cup.

“Ready?” Josh stepped into the doorway, walking through the kitchen and slipping behind me to pull a mug off the counter. His bare arm was the least of my worries, but the moment I turned to look at him, a gasp slipped my lips.

“Joshua!” I scolded. “I said get dressed!”

“It’s fine.” He argued like a moody teenager, and certainly walking away from me like one as well. My brow creased with worry at the sight, his ass clad in boxers. He made a trip to the living room for something before I heard the front door open. “I can’t do it sometimes.” I muttered incredulously, shaking my head as I grabbed my own mug. Danny laughed. “I really can’t.” I scoffed, glancing at the drummer before I followed my boyfriend outside.

“Would you go back inside and put something on?” I scolded, watching him sit down in a white whicker chair. Josh set his coffee down on the small table outside before he unfolded the blanket in his other hand, draping it over his legs. We made eye contact. He wore such an innocent expression that I wanted to strangle him.

“No.” He answered simply before patting his legs. “Come sit with me.”

I huffed out a breath.

“You’re stubborn as a mule.” I muttered, walking over and sitting in his lap. A breathy laugh fell from his lips. I shifted to sit sideways, leaning my back against one arm of the chair, and draping my legs over the other arm. I leaned into his chest, holding my cup of coffee between my hands while Josh grabbed his own from the table.

“I’m headstrong.” He corrected.

“You’re gonna be head-up-your-ass here in a moment.” I warned.

“Yes ma’am.” He knew I was telling him to quit with the attitude, even if I didn’t have to make the request. I looked out toward the wet grass. The forest in the distance, the bird feeder that hung from the tree in the yard. All the birds signing. I felt his hand tuck a lock of my hair behind my ear.

“I dreamt about you.” He commented thoughtfully. I took a sip of my coffee.

“You always do.” I teased, eyes trained on a pair of turtle doves flying together close to the tree.

“Because I love you.”

“You love everything.” I took another sip of my coffee, finally peering back at Josh.

“That may be true, but I’m obsessed with you. I don’t dream about things that I love. I dream about things that I adore. That I can’t live without. I am.. absolutely smitten.” The grin on his lips was almost childlike. So full of wonder. So Josh. “I am devoted to you in a way I will never devote myself to anything else. You are my dream.”

I never believed a man felt much other than lust until I met Josh. Then I found myself wondering how someone could be so full of emotion. How did he feel all those things and never get exhausted.

“I wish I could see the world through your eyes.” I whispered, nestling my side further into his chest.

“I wish you could see yourself through my mind.” His free hand rested behind my back. “I’m gonna write a song about you one day.”

“Please don’t.” I whispered with a breathy chuckle. “Don’t Swift me.”

“No.. her songs couldn’t measure up to the one I’m gonna write for you. Your song will be sung by only the best choir of angels.” There went his mind again. “It’ll be as beautiful as you are.”

“I don’t need a choir, J.” I wrapped my own arm around the back of his neck. “I just need you.”

“I’m afraid my voice won’t be good enough to sing your song, love.”

“You’re the only man I want singing praises to my name.” I lifted my head from his shoulder. “If there’s any other, I’ll be miserable.” The doves interrupted our conversation with their own. Josh and I both looked toward the tree, where they sat side by side, enjoying whatever feed Karen had set out.

“The birds agree.” I whispered jokingly, earning a quiet giggle from Josh.

“Hey..” I turned back to him, brow risen in expectation. “I love you.” A smile turned my lips upwards. I nodded in understanding.

“I love you too.”

“I’m gonna keep you forever.” He whispered, “please let me do that.”

“I won’t stop you.”

#greta van fleet #greta van fic #greta van fluff #josh kiszka #josh kiszka x reader #josh kiszka fluff #danny wagner #jake kiszka #sam kiszka

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vilsoo · 2 years

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prize counter girl ☆ five

➥ michael afton x camgirl!reader

you've been a camgirl for only a few months and everyone loves the content you post. when michael afton porn surfs to relieve his stress, he comes across your videos. the more he jerks off to your content, the more he's addicted. but it wasn't until, a few months later, he sees your familiar face as the new employee working at the prize counter.

chapter warnings. video chat sex reminiscing

notes. pcg is back yay !!! 🥳 i’d also like to say that the setting of our pizzeria is kind of a mix of dave n busters and the mega pizzaplex from fnaf sb. the arcade is rlly huge and colorful so like why not lol

pcg materlist • previous • chapter six

tags. @sanzu-s @matchakittycat @chiroomii @woahhajime @astrobunny @icekreamcakeee @aftonpartner @erensslutt @halparkebitch @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual @roody-y-a @setethstuff @akazxii @queen-simp @mikeesz @yukkomi @milk-bulb @ghostisinvis @corrazon @soft-spirit-ren @jaeeeeeeyito @wh0rephobic @mochas-rambles

Michael wanted to disappear the next morning at work.

Just for a few weeks of maintaining a restorative and healthy sleeping schedule for his new day shift, he had to fuck it all up again. Another sleepless, dreadful night. All because of steamy video chat sex with you. But he decided you weren't at blame for this. It's all his fault for going down this rabbit hole. Getting fucking corrupted by a camgirl that breathes the same air as him now; he did all of this to himself.

Tossing and turning, complicated thoughts racing erratically, shirtless and sweaty, flipping the pillow multiple times, shifting positions, craving for a sip of his water, feeling a constant discomfort, and the never ending flashbacks of you. With his struggle to fall asleep, it was all futile.

Michael couldn't keep his eyes open the whole morning. He knew it would be dangerous for him to drive at a drowsy state like this. So to make his morning much more worse, he called William to drive him to work.

Hearing his father babbling and getting mad for sleeping late drove Michael to pass out right on the passenger seat, his head slanted against the window and a bit of drool hanging off his bottom lip like a little kid. It wasn't until he was startled by him "accidentally" driving over curbs and not giving a shit about it.

When he arrived at the pizzeria and into the arcade, he noticed the lights were already on at the prize corner and the display shelves were mostly organized. The glass showcase counter was also cleaned. His gaze drifts to the opened prize stockroom, sauntering over to see you squatting down at the lower shelf to shove a box of candies in place.

Noticing his figure at the corner of your eyes, you turn at him and smiled. You were like a ray of sunshine pouring over him, a brief feeling of bliss washing out his exhaustion. Of course it had to be you making his rough morning feel slightly better.

"Hey. I came here a little earlier but you weren't here, so... I reorganized the candy island and cleaned mostly everything here. You okay?"

He cleared his throat, almost caught staring at you once again. "Yeah. Why— why wouldn't I be?"

"Um, you look dead." You stood up before him with your gaze wandering over his face, causing his heart to involuntarily pump faster.

Michael sighed. "Yeah, I didn't really get enough sleep last night. Didn't even have enough time or energy to fix myself so that's why I look like shit today."

"Aw. I'm sorry about that," you pout. "But you don't look that bad. I mean, I looked way worse after my first hangover, so..."

He chuckled lightly, catching a glimpse of his smile that looked adorable to you. "I just... I wish I was here earlier to help you."

"It's okay. I can take care of it from here," you assured, mirroring his smile coyly. "I think you should be checking the games. You're a maintenance guy, remember?"

"You bossing me around now?" he teased sarcastically as he pressed his shoulder against the doorway while folding his arms. "Can't believe the new girl on day one is telling me how to do my job."

"Well. I was gonna say something else about how messy your hair was," you teased back.

Michael scoffed as he raked through his hair with his fingers. "Okay, yeah. I think we should get back to work now."

He makes way for you out the door, his gaze furtively following your figure moving past it made him hold his breath. The more your voice reverberated in his head, the more his heartbeat accelerated. It was something about the way your tone shifted coquettishly as if you were sweet talking him over the phone. The way your body inched ever so slightly closer as you playfully teased him.

Michael watches everything about you as if he was going to get quizzed on it. But there was something else lingering in his head that he couldn't wrap his finger on:

Were we flirting?

As the question remained unsolved, Michael started his day by performing the daily minor repairs on the game machines. He removed obstructions, repositioned mechanisms, and observed the machine operations to determine any malfunctions. So far, all game machines were fully functional and allowed for the point system to operate. Meanwhile you were counting the cash at the register, keeping track of merchandise inventory, and ensuring that all shelves and displays were maintained.

Thirty minutes before opening time, Michael spent it by playing the Super Shot game. With many thoughts running through his head, nothing could distract him from his winning streak and being skillful at basketball. As you were roaming about the arcade, you finally find him. You quietly watch from behind at how fluid his upper body movements were when he scores, completely stunned at his winning streak and his ability to never miss a shot.

"Wow. You're good at that," you complimented as you stood beside him.

Michael's body seized for a moment when he finally sees you, deeply flattered that you've been watching him play. "Uh— I'm just, you know. Testing the game, that's all. Does the prize corner look good?"

"Yeah. I think we're ready to go," you bantered.

The brunette man sighed down at himself, glancing at the Super Shot panel then furtively back at you. Suddenly, a random idea came across him when he picked up the Fazbear game card.

"Hey, uh... Before we go— 'cuz we only have twenty minutes— do you wanna see the secret technique for this game?"

Your eyebrows raise at him. "There's a secret technique? Like some kind of hack?"

"Mhm. It's the fastest way to get a lot of tickets," he asserted with a smirk, lowering his head and his voice to a whisper. "Don't tell anyone, though. I just know some cool hacks for a few games here since a lot of this shit is rigged. I can show you if you want."

You chortled at him. "Of course I wanna know! Show me, please."

"Alright, alright." Michael chuckled as he swiped the card. He spoke as he demonstrated the steps to you. "Basically with the Super Shot game, after you swipe your card, press 'continuous' mode. When you play, don't try to get as many points as you can. Just get up to 42 points and then don't score anymore. When it's done, it should be looking like this and now you have infinite tickets..."

Every shy glance of his just lands back on your eyes as if he'll never land at anything more enticing. He could speak all day, elaborate about some arcade hacks like a nerd and let his mouth run while his brain goes crazy over you.

I can't believe I was so tongue tied yesterday with her. Now look at me— all confident and talkative this morning. But yet, I'm still nervous...

"Man. If only I knew about this like way back then at this other arcade," you bantered. "Would've been very helpful winning this one prize I've always wanted."

"What was it?" Michael asks.

"It was a jumbo Hello Kitty bear plush. I think it was around thirteen thousand tickets? Can't remember, but I was very dedicated on winning it."

Hello Kitty bear plush... I'll keep that in mind.

Michael suddenly glanced down the row of arcade machines and noticed William. He was passing by to supervise the place and keep everything organized before opening. The man halted when he caught glimpse of the two of you together.

"Michael. Y/N. It's almost 10 AM," he called out. "Be where you need to be before a customer walks in."

"Yes, father. We'll be on our way." Michael shoved the game card in his back pocket and adjusted his uniform, sighing in dismay that he didn't get to spend more time talking with you.

"So... you're not gonna be with me at the prize counter the whole time, right?" you asked as you walked beside him down the arcade machines.

"Sadly not. My father put me in charge of a lot of things downstairs and upstairs. But don't worry— I think you can handle it without me," he reassured with a small smile.

For some reason his reassurance and comfort enlightened you. Ever since your first time meeting Michael and spending more time together, you became very fond of him. You credit his ability to connect, communicate, and be understanding of each other's strengths and limitations. Hell, he's a very attractive employer as well. Maybe once or twice you've stared into his features when he's looking away. He almost looked oddly familiar to you, as if you met him somewhere else before, but couldn't quite put your finger on it...

"Aw. I mean, yeah I'll be fine," you beamed. "Thanks for everything."

Michael mirrored your smile, having another thought surface in his head. "Of course. And uh... if you want, during our break... do you want to play some games together?"

As if your smile just couldn't get anymore wider across your face it made your cheeks ache. "That would be nice! You're so sweet, Michael. Like, literally the sweetest manager ever."

He chuckled it off, staring down at the ground while trying to conceal his reddened face. This amount of boldness and confidence was never brought out of him before it was unbelievable. Trying to make a move on you, hinting his interest, and still putting more effort on trying to get to know you. It was a whole lot of progress compared to his resurfacing agitation and guilt yesterday. Even though his morning started off on a bad note, it gradually became better just like yesterday.

He had no idea how he did it. How he managed to be at ease and subsiding his nervousness. But as he tried to keep it up throughout the day, a new wave of guilt took over impulsively.

Michael couldn't keep staring at you while you were at work. Seeing you accompany the customers with their candies and prizes while leaning against the glass counter like that... your elbows pressing down, your arms relaxing on the surface, and your back arching slightly with your ass sticking out. As if you wanted him to see you like that from this distance; upstairs at the lounge area overlooking the pizzeria arcade.

He thought about the webcam sex you had with him last night. How you fingered yourself on your knees with your ass in the air. How much of a slick mess the both of you were. Your pretty cunt glimmering with your pussy juice from the sunset lamp lighting. As if he was staring at some magical oasis, basking in your seduction, melting at the sounds you make, and set ablaze from how insane you make him...

I was doing so good earlier. Now I'm fucking horny at work again.

Fantasies could only, unfortunately, remain as fantasies for Michael. When he's so fond of someone, specifically you, he'd hide away in his forbidden fantasies. Crushing over you that he's so curious about gives him a feeling of wanting to hide. Hide away in a safe place in his mind, imagining the infinite outcomes of fake scenarios.

What if I tell her?

What if I just tell her I'm Mike Shmidt?

What if, the more we get closer and closer throughout the days, I finally get it out of my system?

As much as Michael yearns for an opportunity to admit his truth and couldn't keep hiding this shit anymore, he's a coward deep down. He wonders about your reaction. How you would be able to process this information without ruining your work relationship. And hopefully not lead more suspicion to William, who already saw the both of you conversing and giggling together instead of working. But first, he needs to test the waters.

I wish I can be as bold as her and have no shame about what I do behind closed doors...

ALL WORKS BELONG TO VILSOO © . do not steal, plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my works outside tumblr.

#( ♥︎ ) — prize counter girl.#michael afton x you #michael afton smut #fnaf smut #fnaf x reader #michael afton #michael afton x reader

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havecourage-darling · 2 years

Text

When You're Gone // Just Like Heaven (2005) AU

Chapter One: New Beginnings - 1/5 || AO3 || Masterlist

Adopted Female! Wheeler Reader x Eddie Munson

wc: 5.8K

warnings: cursing

A/N: This is a Just Like Heaven (2005) AU that absolutely no one asked for. It's my coping mechanism for S4.

For dialogue/plot purposes I made reader a Wheeler but my headcanon, for this story, is that they're the adopted second born. There should be no reference to size/race/features.

I am not posting the rest of this on tumblr** if you want to follow the rest, check it out on my masterlist/AO3

“You promised,” Nancy’s glare shot through the phone and into your skull. If your older sister was good at anything, it was getting her way. Usually with you or Holly. Mike always managed to slip through her fingers. You really needed to get him to teach you how to do that.

“I’m not backing out on that promise!” You said, flipping through a patient’s chart. Oh, he needed a CT scan before you could ask your attending on releasing him. You placed that file to the side.

“Are you even listening to me?” Nancy demanded, a loud sound of the timer going off behind her. “You said you’d be here by six!”

“I will be!”

“The hospital is a thirty-minute drive.”

“So?”

“It’s five forty-five,” she said, dryly.

You shot up, looking at the clock and wincing. “I meant six thirty.”

“Please don’t show up in scrubs.”

“I won’t! Jesus Nance, have some faith in your sister, please. You’re turning into mom.”

Nancy’s sigh was audible through the phone. “I know, I know. I’m sorry, I’m just worried. You can’t keep going this way, you’re going to burn out. Undergrad, med school, your residency – it’s been nonstop for almost nine years. You need to do something other than your career, that’s what your twenties are for!”

“Hey, I took you on vacation!” You exclaimed, remembering the beach in Mexico fondly.

Nancy’s voice was like a cold bucket of water. “That was three years ago.”

Rolling your eyes, you hauled your charts back to the nursing station and dumped them into the correct bin. “I promise you Nance, I’ll be there. I will wear that dress you bought me, I’ll be nice, socialize, be a regular human being.”

“You better be!”

“Alright, alright, I love you,” you huffed, rolling your eyes again. If you strained them, you were billing her for the invoice.

“I love you too. Hurry up!”

Hanging up, you walked towards the bathroom and smiled when you saw Barb at the sinks washing her hands. “Hey you,” Barb said, glancing at her watch. “You’re still here?”

“It’s only been a few hours,” you said defensively.

“Try twenty,” she shook her head. “You did you long night two days ago – you’re not scheduled on for this long until next week.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said, fixing your hair and making sure you didn’t have anything stuck in your teeth. “Besides, I’m on my way out.”

“Good. You need food and sleep, doctor’s orders.” She winked.

“Ha ha! You’re so funny Holland!”

Barb glanced at your fretting and smiled. “Nancy finally get you to go on that blind date?”

“Yes,” you groaned, “I fought her off for years and now she’s back at it again with a vengeance.”

“She only wants what’s best for you,” Barb said, laughing. “She’s always been like a dog with a toy when she wants something.”

“It’s because our parents moved to a different town after the earthquakes. She’s worried that I’ll feel alone,” you huffed.

“It’s a valid concern,” Barb said, shooting you a look, “although, with our schedules who has time for anything? Charlie and I have rescheduled our date for three weeks now.”

Barb had recently moved out of your building and into a new condo with her long-time boyfriend. You were almost positive he was trying to propose but if you barely left the hospital, Barb practically lived here. She was a senior resident, vying for a permanent position that had recently opened up.

“See, and you’re pointing the finger at me,” you said, applying some lipstick. Barb laughed and nudged you.

“We’ve known each other for too long for me not to,” she said, handing you some blush.

Before long you were finally making your way towards the elevators. “Wheeler? I need another set of eyes on this,” a notoriously cranky senior resident called out. You hesitated, flickering towards the opening doors and sighing when the resident snapped their eyes to you.

“Sorry, were you busy? Should I find another willing intern?” He goaded.

“No, sir. What did you want me to look at?” You said, sighing internally as you followed him towards the nursing station.

An hour later, you were half running towards your car and all but flinging yourself in. Checking the time, you winced when you saw 8:00PM flickering back at you.

“She’s going to kill me,” you sang softly to yourself as you backed out the spot and drove a little faster than needed towards the highway. “But she has to love me anyway!” You tried to console yourself.

You’d managed to catch an issue in the scan that the senior resident hadn’t – in front of the attending, who had congratulated you on your foresight. Not wanting to pat yourself on the back in front of the scowling resident, you let yourself celebrate a little now. Turning the radio onto your favorite station you bopped your head along, wiggling in your seat a little, and grinned. Tonight, was going to go well, you could feel it.

Just as you came to a stop, you checked both ways before letting your foot off the break. A flash of lights - a screeching sound that reverberated in your bones - and the world went dark.

Eddie looked up at the building with skeptical eyes. The façade was crumbling brick with a peeling brown painted trim. The front door, next to a bar, was an ugly yellow color. Or, it’d once been yellow and had now faded to a pale oxidated orange. Following his friend, he walked into the makeshift, narrow lobby and fought the urge to scrunch his nose. The inside was even uglier than the outside, if that was possible.

“Are you sure about this place?” Eddie asked Robin, his brows raising at the dated interior. The bar directly under all the units might also have been the reason for his question. While Eddie had absolutely no room to judge questionable bars – the Blue Ocean Bar looked…bad.

“Yes, and considering that you didn’t like any of the other nicer places in your budget, you should really try and tone down that judgmental tone Munson,” Robin said, shooting him a look over her shoulder. “Besides, don’t judge a book by its cover. You should know that more than anyone.”

Clasping his chest, as if she’d shot him in the heart, Eddie gasped. “Alright, there’s no need to be rude,” Eddie said, laughing when Robin rolled her eyes at him.

He groaned, climbing up the fourth floor walk up that Robin had managed to help him find at the last minute. He’d been looking for a new place for almost two months now, with nothing but a brand-new appreciation for real estate brokers to show for it. Robin was the only one who’d managed to not sucker punch him after so many apartments. Although being one of her best friends might have something to do with her sympathy for him.

“How’d you even find this place?” Eddie asked, catching his breath at the top of the stairs. Man, he needed to cut down on the cigarettes. “You said it was a sublet right? Someone can’t own a unit in this building, right? No one’s that demented.”

“Again with the judgmental tone!”

“Sorry, sorry,” Eddie wheezed as Robin pushed the key into the door.

“It was listed almost two months ago, fully furnished, but with a month-to-month lease. It’s not ideal but we’re both desperate right? Holy shit, look at the kitchen in this thing,” Robin whistled. “I’m not sure who’s listing it since the leasee is working through a private broker. She was very tight lipped about it. There are a few conditions with the apartment but Jesus, look at that view.”

Robin was right, Eddie mused. The apartment was small, a one-bedroom, but it was beautifully designed. The kitchen and living room were open concept, everything looked modern but homey. It looked…lived in. Like someone’s entire life was in this apartment but they hadn’t bothered to come back and retrieve any of their things.

It was clear that photographs were removed from the walls, and other personal items, but it did have pretty much everything he was looking for. The windows were big and spanned across the entire west wall, letting the setting sun warm the entire space. The apartment fit him.

Goddamn it. He hated it when Robin was right. She’d be smug for weeks.

“Alright,” Eddie said, not wanting to prolong the torture, “you were right. It’s pretty good.”

“And you haven’t even seen the best part,” Robin said, smirking. She motioned for him to follow her and walked back out into the hallway. There she procured another key to a door directly to the left of the apartment. “It’s only accessible to the unit on the last floor, private entrance. The handyman told me that the previous tenant mostly climbed up through the fire escape in the bedroom but knowing you – you’d fall out.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Eddie said dryly, climbing after Robin up the steep stairs. Eddie popped his head out and realized they were on the roof. There was rooftop deck. Jesus, she’d really never let him live this down.

“Shed has some of the previous tenant’s stuff, a few musical instruments apparently. We’re to leave it alone if you’re interested in the storage. I took a look and it’s just an acoustic guitar and some gardening tools,” Robin explained. Eddie’s interested peaked at the guitar but his attention was pulled onto the sectional in the middle of the roof. It had a tarp over it, clearly in a lazy effort to conserve the sofa’s integrity, but….

“How the fuck do you get a sectional that big up here? That staircase is too narrow.”

Robin shrugged. “Don’t question it, it’s comfortable.”

“Yeah, fine, fuck it, I’ll take it.”

Pumping her fist, Robin stuck out her tongue and mimicked his earlier statement. “Are you sure Robin? It looks old Robin,” she said in a high-pitched poor imitation. “That’ll teach you to doubt the Buckley intuition.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Eddie said, sighing.

Walking back down into the apartment, Eddie took a quick glance at the bedroom and bathroom down the hall. “So, like I said – the tenant had a two-year lease and was only halfway through. The owner of the building and the previous tenant’s family wants to keep the apartment as is. You’ve got to keep the furniture in the same condition and the major point made by the agent was that the books need to be left alone,” Robin said pointing to the bookshelves that framed the television. “They’re important to the people leasing this out so, you keep your paws off them. Don’t eat near them, don’t drink near them, shit don’t even think about them. Alright?”

“Yes mom,” Eddie huffed. “What’s with all the ladybugs?”

The question was out before Eddie could stop it but, he was curious. The apartment was sprinkled with random ladybug trinkets. Most of them were cluttered by the shelves but he had to ask.

Robin glanced at the shelves. Two ladybug paperweights winked at them as a sunbeam hit them, a crystal shaped ladybug sat at the top of the left shelf while the other had a ladybug clock above it and a pretty large stuffed animal.

“I don’t know, they remind me of an old friend though,” she said, smiling a little sadly. “Alright. Let’s call them and see when you can move in, yeah?”

And it was really that easy. Eddie had met the owner, Chief Hopper of all people, and his wife and kids. Joyce, Jane, Will, and Jonathan. Eddie faintly recognized Jane and knew Will was one of Dustin’s friends. They didn’t live on site – rather in a house in the woods on the other side of town – but, Eddie was confused as to why Hopper would own a building in downtown of all places.

“It was my dad’s,” he had huffed at Eddie, scowl on his face. “Haven’t been able to sell it yet. Keep the apartment clean, don’t go breaking shit, okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” Eddie promised.

“If you need anything, don’t call me, call Saul.”

So, with that warm and generous welcome, here he was. Fully moved in three days later sitting on the couch with the coffee table cluttered in beers and the ashtray overflowing. Shit, he’d have to dump that soon.

“Fuck it,” he said, pushing the tape into the VHR. He sat back down with a grunt and felt the familiar sucker punch when he heard her laugh.

“Corroded Coffin, first real gig!” She giggled, her blonde hair swaying. “I’m so proud of you babe!”

Eddie’s wide grin filled the camera, his lips coming down to hers in a loud smack. The guys behind the camera groaned and wolf whistled until they separated. “Alright guys! Let’s do this!”

The camera was shaky but it zoomed into the well-lit stage with a moderate crowd and everyone grabbed their instruments. Chrissy cheered, her hair falling into the lens, creating a curtain of blonde strands. He watched himself, eyes happy as he glanced at her, announce into the mic: “This one’s for Chrissy!”

“Fuck this,” he groaned, heaving himself up to his feet and going to grab a joint to go with his beer. He was still too sober to get through the entire video. Eddie held his freshly rolled joint and padded his way back to the living room, feeling his heart drop into his feet when he saw you standing by the couch, looking confused.

Whirling around at the sound of him, your eyes widened. “Who the fuck are you?” You screeched, voice bouncing off the walls.

“Me? Who the hell are you? This is my apartment!” Eddie said, fumbling with the beer in his hand.

“I don’t know how you got in here,” you said, voice steady and no nonsense, “but you need to get the hell out or I’m calling someone.”

“Oh yeah, what are you going to tell them? You’re in my home!”

At that, your calm stance cracked and your eye twitched. “For fuck’s sake I live here!” You ran for the phone at the same time he did and Eddie watched you completely disappear before you touched.

Eddie froze. His eyes darted around the room, as if you’d pop up from behind something, and frowned down at the joint clutched in his hand. Slowly putting it down onto the dining table, he stepped back. Maybe…that was enough for one night. Clearly, grief and booze were clouding his mind.

They’d been clouding his mind for years now, that’s why he liked them, his mind supplied.

Yeah, but he’d never fucking hallucinated. Holy shit, he was finally going crazy. He was cracking under the pressure.

Either way, that was enough for one night.

By the next morning, Eddie had managed to convince himself that he’d been seeing things. It was new to him but definitely not uncommon. His counselor had told him that – grief did strange things to people. Maybe he needed to slow down on the beer and smoking.

Eddie had just managed to convince himself of the fact when one morning, he was woken up by ABBA screeching from the stereo. He jolted up, stumbling blindly into the living room and almost tripping over his pile of discarded clothes.

“Fuck,” he groaned, drowsily slapping a hand against the volume and half-landing on the couch. “What the fuck?”

A loud chuckle echoed faintly behind him and Eddie’s hair stood on end. Whirling around, he saw nothing.

It was fine. This was a fluke. Shit like this happened all the time, right? He wasn’t going crazy. He wasn’t.

At the end of the week, Eddie finally cracked and called Steve. In a span of six days, Eddie had managed to find his cigarettes snapped in two – no matter how many he bought – the stereo waking him up with increasingly bad bands, and most worrisome, it felt like someone was watching him.

He’d entertained the idea of having lost his mind, descending fully into paranoia, and if anyone was up for the task – it’d be Steve.

“What the hell is this bar choice man?” Steve asked quietly, making a face as he sipped his drink. “The beer on tap is shit.”

“His new place is upstairs,” Robin reminded Steve, taking a big gulp from her fruity drink before offering it to Steve who didn’t hesitate in swapping. “How’s that going for you?”

“Well,” Eddie started, eyes glancing around the deserted seating area. How the hell was this place still in business? He never saw more than a handful of people. Shit, the bartender had told him to call for her if he wanted any more drinks before disappearing.

“I’m seeing someone,” Eddie admitted, fingers picking at the beer’s label.

Robin and Steve exchanged excited glances. “That’s great!”

“What?” He blinked at his friends, confused.

“The last time I tried to set you up you bailed, you made me look like an asshole,” Steve said, shooting Robin a look. “The fact that you initiated this? That’s amazing dude, you’re getting out your comfort zone!”

“Who is she? Do we know her? Is she from school?” Robin asked, her expression so eager that Eddie had to take a moment and appreciate his friends.

“I’m seeing someone who isn’t there,” Eddie clarified.

Steve frowned. “Someone who’s emotionally unavailable? I mean, so are you – why are you judging her for it?” Robin elbowed Steve at Eddie’s look and understand dawned on him. “Oh, you mean a hallucination?”

“Twice, in my new place,” Eddie mentioned, pointing upwards. “A woman.”

“Was she hot at least? Ouch, Jesus Robin, it’s a fair question.”

“I think I’m stuck more on the fact that he’s now hallucinating Harrington,” Robin hissed.

Steve’s expression morphed into something more serious, his brows furrowing like they usually did when they were psychoanalyzing him. His hand reached for a napkin and he grabbed a pen from his pocket. “Alright, were you on something when you saw her?” Steve asked in his therapist voice. Eddie had always thought that the jump from babysitter to psychologist wasn’t much. Steve was always a natural at being a good listener.

“I was a little drunk, I’d been watching the last performance Ch-” Eddie’s voice caught on her name. “I’d had a few beers. I was going to light up when she appeared. Why are you writing this down?”

“It’s a shrink thing,” Robin sighed, reaching across the empty bar and pouring three shots, “he can’t help it.”

“I gotta stop drinking,” Eddie muttered, dropping the beer in his hand, the label in tatters.

Steve straightened. “No! God, don’t. I mean, keep it in moderation obviously – when it becomes a problem, I’m here for you. I can give you a good discount-”

“-when?” Robin snickered at Eddie’s narrowed look.

“Until then, drink, smoke, whatever! Just do it with people. Socialize. Look around, this is the first time you’re at a bar in how long? Rejoin the world Munson, it’s been two years. It’s time,” Steve said, eyes going soft in a way that Eddie hated. He hated the sympathy. It’s all he got from people for the past few years.

“Hey, we’re not pitying you,” Robin said, proving his guess that she was a mind reader. “We’re just saying that we’re your friends dude. We’re available, come out with us every once in a while.”

Eddie sighed. “I’d really rather listen to ABBA on repeat than go out and socialize.”

“Dude,” Steve said, with his therapist ‘I’m disappointed in you’ look. It usually worked on Eddie. “Come on.”

“It’s – I’m not ready.”

“You’ll never be ready, you just gotta throw yourself back out there,” Robin said.

Eddie rolled his eyes and focused back onto his drink. “It’s a scary world out there Buckley, it’ll chew me up and spit me back out.”

Steve snorted. “Yeah, then you get back up and try again.”

“Isn’t that the beauty of it all?” Robin asked.

Eddie sighed. He hated when they ganged up on him.

Eddie wasn’t willing to admit and say that getting out of the apartment had helped this little ‘losing his mind’ moment of his but he’d managed to have another week go by with no incidents. Maybe Steve was right? Eddie snorted. Words he’d never utter aloud in his lifetime.

Coming back to his apartment after a long day of unpacking and packing up equipment for a local band, Eddie had only one destination in mind. Locking the door behind him clumsily, he stumbled over to his bed and flopped down. God, this stupid bed was comfortable.

Groaning when his knees cracked, Eddie pulled the pillow under his head tightly and started drifting to sleep. While he didn’t want to admit it, Eddie did miss the pull of performing. He’d been with his band for almost a decade before he suddenly dropped out. Jeff and Gareth were always calling him, letting him know he had a spot ready for whenever he wanted to come back. But…Eddie wasn’t ready. The story of his life. Never ready. So, he’d settled for being a crew member, helping wherever he could locally.

It was good work, he liked the band he was working with now, but his joints were always sore for the two days after a tour date scramble. Glancing at the time, Eddie promised himself that he’d get up and order some pizza in an hour – after this nap.

Finally, some peace.

“Oh my God are you still here?” You screeched, shattering his illusion of tranquility.

Eddie jolted up, a familiar situation nowadays, and saw you standing in the doorway. You were illuminated by the light in the hallway and stood with your arms crossed – like an angry toddler. Eddie fought the delirious, exhausted urge to laugh.

Apparently, he didn’t try hard enough because your expression went from mildly annoyed to livid.

“How the hell do you keep getting in here?” You asked, hands moving to your hips. Tapping your shoe against the floor, Eddie sighed.

“You are a hallucination. You are not real.” Eddie said, flopping back onto the bed and pulling the pillow over his head. “Go away!”

“Oh,” your voice came out softer this time, as if you’d discovered something fascinating. “I see what’s happening here.”

“Please, enlighten me, figment of my imagination,” Eddie huffed.

“Has your recent alcohol consumption increased?”

What? That was not what he was expecting.

“Yeah. So?” Eddie asked, sitting up against the headboard, wanting to keep distance between you two. Hallucination or not, he didn’t want to touch you.

“Are you seeing things that aren’t really there? Auditory hallucinations are most common. Hearing anything?” You asked, stepping closer to him.

Eddie snorted. “I’m looking and hearing one right now.” You barely batted an eye, a sympathetic expression coming over you.

“Have you recently sought mental health support? From a professional?”

“How the fuck did you know that, wait a second, stay away from me,” Eddie said, a touch louder than he meant to as you took another step. Eddie felt like a cornered animal in a cage with some kid’s meaty paw swiping at him.

“Right, okay, a little defensive.”

“You’d be too if you were me, okay?!” He exclaimed, hand going to his hair.

“I was afraid of this. Okay, listen to me, you’ve somehow convinced yourself that you live in an apartment that in fact belongs to someone else. This is my apartment. I’ve been leasing it for almost a year.” At Eddie’s silence and confused stare, you continued. “I’ll prove it. These bedsheets? They have a hole in the top right – right there.”

Eddie’s fingers traced the small coin sized tear he hadn’t noticed. “I tore them like two seconds into getting them, I was so mad. There’s a cracked tile in the shower, right? I broke it recently, I slipped and slammed into the wall. That’s why one of the shower curtain rings is broken. How would I know that if this wasn’t my apartment?”

Holy shit, how would you know that? Eddie felt his grip on his sanity loosen. Maybe he needed to call Steve again.

“These are my bedsheets, that’s my nightstand, those are my photos- wait, where are my polaroids?” You froze, hand midair while Eddie was contemplating his existence in the universe.

“What polaroids?”

“My entire wall above that desk, I had taped polaroids to them!” You placed your hands back on your hips and Eddie frowned.

“When I got here there were no polaroids, I swear.” Great, now he was trying to placate the woman who’s apartment he stole – or the hallucination. Oh my God, maybe he really was mentally ill.

“Did you take them? Who does that?” You snapped, stomping over to the phone on the wall. “That’s enough! I’m calling the police!”

Eddie shot up, worried for his sanity either way. “Wait please!” Eddie’s voice trailed off as he watched your hand disappear through the phone.

Holy shit.

“What’d you do to my phone?” She hissed. Her hands unable to grab the phone, disappearing angrily as she swiped for it. For the first time, Eddie saw fear bleed into her eyes. “Stay right there, I’m using the one in the kitchen.”

Your footsteps lightened until you’d disappeared completely.

Eddie slumped, rubbing a hand down his face. Had he almost been convinced by his hallucination that he was delusional? Had he almost believed you?

This was getting fucking ridiculous. If he didn’t do something, he was going to end up in a nuthouse. He wasn’t going to let the community of Hawkin’s get that satisfaction.

This ended now.

And that was how Eddie found himself at the occult bookstore downtown. He’d passed by it so many times coming and going from school years ago but he’d never really given it a second glance. People in this town already thought he was devil worshipper.

Which, from his point of view, wouldn’t be the worst thing. He eyed the crystals lining all the bookshelves and front desk warily. Maybe they wouldn’t be so bad at this point.

“Hey Robin?”

“What’s up Munson?” Robin asked, her voice booming through his phone.

“Do you remember anything that broker told you about the previous tenant?”

Robin hummed, the sound of a printer in the background echoing. “Not really, the agent told me that there had been a tragedy in the family. They didn’t seem to want to talk about it so I didn’t press. I didn’t even get the name of the tenant – the apartment is under Chief Hopper’s name. They’re family friends, I think. Why?”

“No reason.”

Eddie had woken up this morning from the worst sleep of his life, and contemplated his options. He was either hallucinating and needed to be institutionalized. Or this woman was really there and for some reason, only he could see her. A ghost.

The first option didn’t leave much to be desired so Eddie was steering into the latter. As dumb and ridiculous as it sounded. He had to admit, he’d come up with weirder twists during a campaign.

Eddie glanced at the spiritual section, the books blending together and giving him a headache. A familiar voice came from over his shoulder. “Can I help you with anything sir? Wait, Eddie?”

“Sinclair?” Eddie said, grinning despite his situation. “Dude, I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Holy shit, yeah,” Lucas said, surprising Eddie with a hug.

“How’s Dustin? I haven’t seen Henderson in almost a year either,” Eddie asked, his older memories shaking off their cobwebs.

“He’s good, everyone’s good,” Lucas said, a familiar look seeping into his eyes and Eddie groaned. He could recognize that look from a mile away. It’d been his whole life since the accident. “Hey man, I’m really sorry about what happened.”

“It’s-” the word fine died on his tongue and he watched Lucas smile genuinely at him. Maybe other people didn’t mean it but he knew Sinclair – he’d known him since he was a short little freshman. Lucas didn’t have a malicious bone in his body. “Thanks, man. How’s Mike? I haven’t seen him since I graduated.”

“Oh, you haven’t heard?” Lucas asked, sympathy morphing into sadness.

Eddie frowned. “What?”

“His-”

“Lucas!”

Max popped up, chewing gum. She pointed to the flickering lights by the UFO section. “They’re going haywire again, can you check downstairs? Oh, hey Munson,” she said, as if it hadn’t been a good six years since he’d last lived in the trailer across from hers. Her red hair was still neatly braided into pigtails, her expression characteristically serious.

“Hey Max,” Eddie said, smiling at her attitude. He had always liked her.

“It was good to see you man,” Lucas said, “we should get a beer or something.”

“Jesus, you’re old enough to drink? Get out of here man.” Eddie joked, shoving his shoulder. Lucas laughed, his head shaking as he walked over to inspect the light.

“Sorry, was he helping you with anything?” Max said, crossing her arms.

“Uh, do you believe in this stuff?” He asked, a little confused as to how someone like Max worked here.

Something flashed across Max’s face but it was gone before Eddie could pinpoint it. It looked almost, worried. “Yeah,” she glanced at the book he’d picked up. “Don’t take that one, it’s outdated.” She pointed to one in front of him and another a few shelves above.

“Thanks,” he said, pulling them from their spot.

“What kind of encounter had you had?”

“What?”

“People only come in here for a few reasons. Most common, a weird fetish. Second thing? Encounter,” Max said, sounding like the leading expert on the topic. She’d always had enough confidence in her that she could sell water to a fish.

At his stunned silence Max rolled her eyes. “Here, these should help if you’re trying to get rid of it,” she piled on a few books into his arms and Eddie frowned. He was glad she hadn’t assumed he had a fetish but – to just believe him? That he wasn’t going insane wasn’t the easiest and most logical answer?

His life was getting weirder by the moment.

Not wanting to waste any time, Eddie plowed through the books. Some seemed weirdly rational – if you had energy and spirit when you were alive, why would death take that from you? Others seemed downright idiotic. Apparently rubbing lemon onto your elbows and putting some skunk’s pee under his bed helped ward off evil.

Were you even evil? Eddie thought back. Annoying? Yes. Evil? No. The most you’d done is shed a few years off his life by blasting Dancing Queen at six in the morning. And snap his cigarettes – making him chain smoke his pack before he got into his apartment.

“Alright, here goes nothing,” Eddie muttered to himself, feeling ridiculous. He waved the special candle he’d bought from the store a few doors down, and waved it in the air. “My intentions are pure, I mean no harm, I seek only to guide!”

He repeated the chant a few more times before sighing. This was bullshit. Before he could put the candle down, Eddie felt his hair stand on end. The air in the room shifted to something weirdly appealing and Eddie couldn’t help but feel like he was being laughed at.

“Are you there? I think you are,” he said, feeling stupid when there was no answer. Great. This is what his life was reduced to. Doing some weird demonic ritual thing and calling his hallucination ghost girl forward.

Alright, fuck this. He grabbed the first book he saw off the forbidden bookshelves, popping it open, he grabbed at the base of the page and held it up, like he had an audience.

“I’ve got one of the fancy books in my hands. It looks expensive and old. I’m going to oops – accidentally tear at the corner…”

“Don’t you dare!” You admonished, a wonderfully deep scowl in your face, and Eddie immediately dropped the book. “Oh my God! That’s a first edition, pick it up!”

“Sorry, sorry!” Eddie put it down back on the shelf gently. “We need to talk.”

“About what?” You asked, as if any part of this conversation was normal. Like you’d both always been roommates.

“Do you find it weird, about how you’ve been spending your days?”

“Yeah, it’s weird having some fucking stranger in my living room, squatting!”

“I’m not-” Eddie reigned in the fire that lit within him. This woman drove him up the wall. “Let’s start over – I’m Eddie Munson.”

“I’m…uh, I’m…” You frowned eyes glancing around the room. “I – don’t worry about it.”

Eddie fought a smile at the sight of your frustrated glare. “Fine, let’s settle on Lou.”

“Lou?”

“Short for hallucination,” he said, only mostly joking.

“I am not a hallucination.”

“Alright then, uh, what about Bug?” He said, gesturing to the thousands of random ladybug assorted items.

Weirdly, your face smoothed out at that. “Sure. If that gets us to the end of this conversation, sure.”

“When was the last time you remember speaking to anyone? That wasn’t me.”

“The other day!” You said, indignant.

“Okay, what do you do when you’re not here?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” you responded with so much venom that Eddie really had to take a second not to smile.

“Has anything traumatic happened to you recently?”

“What?”

“Like, oh, maybe dying?”

“What.”

“I’m trying to help you face the fact that you’re dead,” he said, placing a hand on her shoulder only for it to go directly through.

“Do not touch me!”

“I’m sorry! I’m not going to hurt you. I’m just trying to help!”

Her face twisted into something resembling heartbreak and Eddie froze. “What would help me is if you’d get the hell out of my apartment!”

“Do you see a light? The books say to not be afraid of the light!” Eddie said, picking up the book he’d left opened. He’d read some passage about guiding troubled spirits to the light. The afterlife, the big paradise, whatever. He could be someone’s guidance counselor as long as you got the hell out of here.

“There’s no fucking light weirdo! I’m not dead!”

“Have you tried, Bug?”

Your face twisted into something endearingly stubborn. “On second thought I hate that nickname and for the fiftieth time, I’m not dead!” Eddie realized he’d backed you into the middle of the table, only your torso visible. You glanced down and gasped. “What is happening?”

“You’re dead! I just want to live in peace in my own home!” Eddie exclaimed, frustrated.

“This is not your home!” You screamed, hands planting themselves on his chest and subsequently disappearing when you toppled through him and out the window.

“Rest in peace!” Eddie huffed, feeling relieved. He turned and jumped when he saw you with your arms crossed.

“I’m not leaving.”

Jesus, why was it always him? Couldn’t he catch a break?

A/N2: Some things were changed to help fit the story, obviously, there will be some plot holes – let’s just smile and wave boys! Also, I have no idea what a first/second-year intern’s schedule looks like. So anyone in the medical field, pls forgive me lmao

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson

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gon-and-killuas-mother · 11 months

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i am attempting "light therapy" to help fix my sleep schedule and i'm cranky about it

my aunt, who's a neuropsychiatrist (one of the few women in her field and fairly well known at this point, don't know if anyone's heard of Dr. Jo Cara Pendergrass but damn she's cool) was in town this week to look after her mom post-cataract surgery

Cara is probably the smartest person in the family, all things considered

(my brother and I give her a run for her money but neither of us intend on getting a goddamn PhD lol) (also my dad wouldn't appreciate me saying that, he is also pretty smart. but like. he's got intelligence, he's just lacking in wisdom)

ANYWAY. of all the people in the family, Cara is the person i rarely have to explain my illnesses to. usually, i have to tack on a brief description of it anytime i say "yeah i have EDS and fibromyalgia and IBS and--"

but last time i saw her over Christmas, i told her the diagnosis and had my script prepared to explain, but she just went "Oh yeah Ehlers Danlos -- wait. Oh."

her face did the thing where she was processing new info at light speed by blinking and cycling through several expressions as the pieces of the mystery that is my chronic ailments settled themselves in place

unfortunately i wasn't at the point where i was comfortable enough to tell anyone how miserable and in pain i was, that was something i put off another couple of months before i confessed to Nana that i'd become a grocery thief and was on my way to being homeless. that's also around when my brother asked my permission to share my story with the family, because he knows how difficult it is for me to admit how much i'm struggling.

i'm rambling tbh but only to keep me awake and sitting outside long enough

ANYWAY

so Cara was here this week. i went to visit the other night. we always have really interesting conversations about our brains and genes and family shite, i don't think anyone other than my brother and i can actually hold a conversation with her about that kind of shit.

i did NOT go there just for advice, but when i told her how much trouble i've had getting out of bed before evening, she gave me a couple of tips that i'm now trying out

1). the 24-hour sleep deprivation strategy

it sounds like a nightmare to me, but apparently has supporting evidence that, at least in the short term, resets your circadian rhythm.

if you've ended up awake hours past your desired bedtime, then instead of simply going to bed late, it's advised* to keep yourself awake throughout the rest of the day until the next bedtime.

( * WITH CONSULTATION OR SUPERVISION OF A DOCTOR)

the reason this is supposedly effective is that the longer you stay awake, the higher the sleep pressure becomes (sleep pressure is just your body's signal to go the fuck to bed, which is something i'm intimately familiar with as it's a constant companion of mine regardless of sleep hygiene). the higher the sleep pressure the easier it is to fall asleep and, ideally, the better your sleep becomes.

Cara did emphasize that as far as we know, it's only a short term strategy. either we haven't done enough studies or we haven't figured out how to apply it to a longer term solution.

2). Light therapy

i was already somewhat aware of this but not to the extent that Cara explained.

the trick here is to force yourself out of bed (if you're able) and sit outside. preferably on sunny days. she said this even works if you end up falling asleep outside anyway, you're still absorbing sunlight.

there's no immediate change, as it does take a few days or more to notice any improvements (this checks out, as i am still drowsy as fuck) but doing this daily or semi-daily gradually convinces the body and brain to be awake earlier.

it's one of those things that a lot of disabled folk like me, especially those with fucked up sleep, would hear and get annoyed with, because we've tried so many different strategies that have each failed one way or another. and hearing "go outside" just reminds me of my mother and every yoga enthusiast insisting on all natural medicine, which understandably raises my metaphorical hackles.

but Cara, again, is the smartest person i know. i'm much more willing to take the advice of a neuropsychiatrist over a yoga mom, despite them actually agreeing on something.

and also? i do miss the Sun, quite terribly.

so if, by sometime next week, i'm magically able to wake up earlier with less struggle, i will let y'all know. i'm gonna be cranky about it, especially if it actually WORKS, but as the neighborhood mascot of Sleep Deprivation i think i'm a pretty good indicator if something like this is legit or not.

｡⁠:ﾟ⁠(⁠;⁠´⁠∩⁠`⁠;⁠)ﾟ⁠:⁠｡

#tink rambles #trying to resist going back for a nap #been sitting out here an hour though so thats something #unfortunately i dont get any direct sunlight bc my apartment is north facing and the roof extends past the balcony #maybe if i can hobble down to the pool next week i can do some sunbathing #but only if i can find my sunscreen lol i burn exactly like my irish ancestors on sunny days

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labyrithian · 1 year

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Hi! I found you via the puppy blues tag and I wanted to see how you’re going with it, especially since I’m now in exactly the same boat. Can you tell me what helped you get through the blues and how Maize is going now? It’s only been 3 days for me but I am struggling and I think it’s starting to worry my family. If you don’t want to talk about it, please just let me know and I wish you the best x

Hi, I will gladly and happily tell you that I have finally passed my puppy blues! It’s been a long time since my last bout of puppy blues. I think it lasted mostly the first 3 months. The worst was the first few weeks to a month, where it seemed to be a near constant feeling. After that, the feelings seemed to come and go until finally it just stop coming all together. I think it really comes down to just needing to adjust to the fact that your life is different now. It’s not like with cats who come and go throughout the day for your attention. Dogs are a lot more demanding, and I think there’s a reason people always joke about getting a dog before having a baby. It’ll be hard, but just try to be patient with yourself. Remember to let the puppy nap in their crate/pen area to give yourself some time to yourself now and then. I think what it really comes down to is needing to adjust to a new schedule and lifestyle. Life won’t be the same, but, given time and adjustment, it can be so much more rewarding.

Also remember to let them sleep on your lap here and there, even if you’re not feeling quite like doing it. I say this because I regret not taking more time to just rest with her back then. She’s very active, so, when she slept, I always tried to ignore that she was there at the time. I regret it now, because she was only a baby once, and I feel like I missed out on some bonding while I was too steeped in my own misery.

She needed so much time, so much attention, that I felt exhausted and trapped by her. It no longer feel this way, though I do occasionally still get annoyed at just how much attention she needs from me. That feeling is easily fixed by putting her in the ‘safe room’. Basically, a room for her to play in for a bit that has nothing she could easily eat or hurt herself with. Either that, or having a family member take her for a bit so I can get some alone time.

Maize is a year old now and no longer needs such a strict routine. She potty trained and bow knows how to be alone for a bit without freaking out. It helps to have other pets if you have them. I still live with family, so Maize hangs out with my sister’s dog and my cat. Yes, my biggest fear of her and Piper (my cat) not getting along were ultimately unfounded. Piper gets annoyed with Maize’s over exuberance, but also cuddles and bathes her and plays with her so that’s great. The only one who she doesn’t get along with is our senior cat, but they hardly ever cross paths anyway.

Okay, long story short, it gets better. Power through the overwhelming feelings by using routine and taking time for yourself here and there. Remember to bathe and eat and brush your teeth. Also, do yourself a huge favor and stay on top of training her. All of it: potty training, manner’s around others, manners around the house, etc. It will make things much better once you see them growing into a dog that will fit well into your life and not peeing all over the house.

Maize is good on potty training and handling people outside the house…not so much when people are at our house or when energetic kids are around. Not the best, but not horrible for me, as I don’t really enjoy having others around my home anyway.

Good luck! Remember that, once you finally get through this funk, you may find yourself loving this dog much more than you could have ever imagined. Also, no, your dog doesn’t hate you now because of this phase. (Once the puppy blues started winding down for me I felt like I ruined our bond for awhile. It wasn’t true, Maize still loves me most even if Nona gives her more treats :D)

Sorry if any of this seems jumbled or all over the place, I’m writing this from my phone, haha.

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slayemal-na-nerate · 2 years

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//Okay, so, obviously it has been... a while, and I'm very sorry for how long I've been away, and how I haven't said anything before now. Posting this on my blog that's been on hiatus the longest, because once I'm back, my hiatus will be completely ended across all accounts.

To summarize my latest disappearance, here's a list of everything that has happened in my life these past few months that has added to my lack of activity here.

Horrid mental health, including my depression being close to, if not, the worst it's ever been

Related to above note, trying to start a time-intensive magnet treatment, since antidepressants don't seem to work, only to have my insurance deny coverage for it for a bunch of nitpicky reasons, leaving me currently waiting to hear back on an appeal the clinic is trying to put through

Two traffic tickets, one of which I'm still waiting to fight in court

My car making horrifying sounds on the way to work one day, leading me to discover that my extended warranty wasn't set up properly and leaving me without reliable transportation for long stretches of time due to miscommunication between the warranty's insurance company and my mechanic while I was waiting for it to be fixed

Work schedule becoming a lot less consistent, with my shifts ranging from everything between opening to closing to miss, making my sleep patterns practically nonexistent

Multiple sicknesses and injuries, including my mom getting covid (she's better now, and I fortunately never caught it) and me currently being out of work due to my knees

Pain and stress from said knees leading me to forget to call in for jury duty the night before my group was asked to be at court the next morning, which, in turn, caused my mental health to spiral for a while, even after successfully attending the two days I was called in for after getting rescheduled the next week

Attempts to finish a backlog of chores consistently slowed down by physical and mental limitations

So, as you can see, my life's been fairly hectic recently. I'm not trying to excuse my absence or lack of communication, but I do think that all of my wonderful writing partners deserve some sort of explanation for where I've been. I never meant to be away this long, and I hope it won't be much longer before I return, but I don't want to potentially give any false hope to anyone, considering I've thought on multiple occasions that I would only be away for one more week.

When I do start writing again, I will be saving all the replies I owe as drafts and waiting until they're finished to post them all at once. Hopefully, this will prevent me from becoming overwhelmed by any responses I might've otherwise gotten in between posts. If you notice that I have not replied to you when those mass posts go out, please let me know, because I have unfortunately noticed that Tumblr has eaten up some or all of my notes on several accounts. Also, don't feel pressured to respond to anything if you no longer wish to write with me. I will do my best to ensure nothing like this ever happens again, but I completely understand if my lack of communication prior to this has shaken any trust some of you may have had in my reliability.

Once again, I am incredibly sorry for this situation and how I've handled it, but I hope to get back to writing with all of you again very soon.

#ooc

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rinzay · 1 year

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GUESS WHOS BACK...AGAIN!?

Behold probably my most fanficy one yet

Idea 15: Vanessa is good at bedtime stories

This idea is inspired by a point I made during idea 2 that I wanted to attempt to elaborate on. This is actually based on the fact that Vanessa's voice actor, Heather Masters, was known for reading children's books before getting involved in FNAF (I am not kidding, check her interview with Dawko).

It is logical to assume that most young kids would probably get more nightmares when their parents are not at home. As such it would be a good idea to learn how to calm them down. Vanessa, as a teenager, initially made stories using the video games that she plays as a base. This turns out to work a lot better than she expects, so she continues to refine and use it until she stops babysitting when she goes off to college. This will be important later.

Anyways, let us set the scene. It has been a few weeks since the Pizzaplex decided to reenact the Sampoong Department store collapse. The robots have been handling their new “jobs” at Silver Parasol fairly well. Roxy and Monty serve as sources of motivation for the team. They have also taken up smaller versions of what they used to do; RC car racing for Roxy and setting up a small putting green for Monty. Chica makes lunch for everyone, proving she can make other things besides pizza in the process. Freddy helps organize schedules with the management. The Daycare Attendant serves as a sort of mental health checker, working with Roxy and Monty. And of course the ALMIGHTY MAPBOT “gives out” (forces people to take) maps for the building to the people working there, except for Vanessa, whom he decided to forgive after she fixed his speech issues. All of the animatronics do still interact with children when employees bring their own or their friends' children in for various reasons.

The VR games also turned out to be a hit, and with Fazbear Entertainment no longer taking any percentage of the profits, it is earning Silver Parasol a large amount of money. In fact, they have so much excess that they start making plans on buying a building to serve as a proper location for the animatronics. This idea was actually spearheaded by Vanessa because she feels bad that they don’t have a real “home” and wants to return the favor for them being so nice to her.

Speaking of Vanessa, after all these months, she can finally say with full confidence that she feels like her old self again. She is able to use knives, look at rabbits and not feel scared among other minor things. She has also become a lot more confident and outgoing than she used to be. Vanessa recently even went on an actual proper date with Luis.* It went really well, considering that they both are awkward nerds! So a lot of things are going well for our blonde…beneficiary?

*Everyone is just surprised that it didn't happen sooner. Roxy and Monty even had a bet going on for when they would do it, Roxy bet over 4 months and Monty bet under. Roxy won, meaning she and Chica got to “redecorate” Monty. I will let you decide what that means.

However the same cannot be said for Gregory. He has recently started to have terrible nightmares, which he hasn't had since before his mother died. The reason that he only appears to be having bad nightmares now is ironically because he now knows that he is in a safe and STABLE living situation. Back when he was living on the streets, staying silent at all times was key to surviving and not being caught. This included being quiet when sleeping, so he just stopped having nightmares. This continued for the first month or so he was living with Vanessa since he still didn't completely trust her yet. But now that she has proven herself to be an actually really good person and safe to be around, the nightmares have returned in full force.

They start out consisting of what you would expect for a kid like Gregory. Vague things such as being abandoned. Then they start to be about things like being chased by hundred pound animal themed death machines (sadly not like those ones). He could handle those ones easily enough. As the months go on, they get worse, more specific. They start to involve Freddy turning evil, Vanessa turning back into Vanny. They usually end at that point because the real Freddy, in his plush form, notices that something is wrong and would wake Gregory up. He then comforts him by simply reassuring Gregory that it was just a nightmare and giving him a hug. However, this method has been getting less effective as time goes on.

Something else that you have to know is this, most of the animatronics are not good at storytelling or making up stories. They are simply not designed or programmed for it since they are not meant to be doing any activities that involve sleeping. You would think that the daycare attendant would be good at this since he is supposed to help kids fall asleep. He does tell stories, but they are preprogrammed and all end with some variation of the theme, "Buy Fazbear Entertainment merch". This is because he was originally intended to generate his own stories like DJMM can generate music. However FE couldn't risk him coming up with a story that already existed and getting sued so they attempted to make their own. Also some of the in-game logs indicated that he isn’t even that good at getting kids to go to sleep regardless (yes I know he was partially hacked, but something tells me that the getting kids to go to sleep problem existed before this issue). Basically, Freddy and the gang are not good at getting kids to go back to sleep beyond basic reassurance.

Then one night, he has a nightmare that is worse than all of the others. He is cornered in a dark storage room inside of the pizzaplex, surrounded by all of the animatronics including Freddy. Gregory knows that they aren’t themselves, their eyes glowing a distinct purple. In the center of it all, is Vanny. She is in that disturbing suit that he saw burnt before his eyes, her posture aggressive and towering over him. The shadows over her mask make it appear even more deranged than normal, and her knife in hand ready to kill him and make his death as painful as possible. Before Gregory can even react, Vanny grabs him by the neck and forces him to the ground and raises her knife into the air. As he struggles to breathe all he can hear is Vanny’s insane laughter, so unlike Vanessa’s it is almost impossible to believe that they were once the same person. Vanny raises her arm and then plunges it into his chest. As searing pain and darkness overtake Gregory, he wakes up with a horrible scream.

Vanessa wakes up when she hears the noise and upon realizing that it came from Gregory, immediately rushes over to his room to see what’s wrong. Both Vanessa and Freddy are very concerned, because Gregory has NEVER cried or screamed before. Sure, he’s looked freaked out before, but never has he ever appeared to be this scared. Vanessa slowly and quietly moves to his bed and sits down to try and calm him down. Eventually Gregory’s crying is reduced to occasional sniffles Freddy is at a loss of what to do, so Vanessa decides to, hesitantly, ask Gregory if he would like to hear a story. Gregory at first wants to refuse because he is a big boi. However he looks up at Vanessa’s face that shows genuine concern, and with a sniffle says yes.

Vanessa starts telling a story about a kingdom and princess, one who brought joy and hope to all who saw her, who could almost literally brighten someone's day. She tells of how this princess was deceived by a stranger in purple, who then locked her inside her own castle dungeon and spread evil throughout the kingdom. But it was done in such a way that no one noticed anything was amiss. The differences were simply too subtle for anyone to notice.

Everyone except one person, a knight. One smaller than most, but no less brave. He was the only one to realize that something was wrong and ventured into the kingdom to figure out what was wrong and fix it. He quickly found some assistance in the form of a large yet friendly bear, who had somehow managed to avoid the corruption that had befallen the other creatures.

They discover that the kingdom has been corrupted and learn of a way to get rid of it using 3 keys or sorts. So the 2 go on an adventure to find these keys and save the kingdom. They encounter a multitude of trials and tribulations on their journey as the bear and knight bond and work together. In the end though they find the 3 keys, unlock the dungeons to free the princess and defeat the corruption, saving the day! And thus the 3 of them, the kind bear, the brave knight, and the imprisoned princess all lived happily ever after

By the time Vanessa has finished speaking, Gregory has fallen back asleep hugging both her arm and Freddy close. Freddy is just looking at her with that dad-like “I’m so proud of you” type expression instead of saying it since he doesn't want to wake Gregory up. Vanessa rolls her eyes but accepts the gesture. Upon seeing that she can’t go back to bed since Gregory has effectively latched onto her, she decides to just spend the night with him.

And thus, with no more nightmares to trouble them, the 3 of them have a rest filled night and will proceed to have many more. For although healing might take a long time and be full of setbacks, the end can make it all worth it. :)

YES YES STORYTELLER VANESSA (You can pry this headcannon out of my COLD DEAD HANDS)

Vanessa healing arc LEZGOOO!! maybe with the discovery that Vanessa can create stories that draw you in, they would write down the stories and give em to moon to tell to the kids they watch over.

Gregory having a crash is expected since being in survival mode majority of the time would make the body tense, but once the body feels safe, badabing badaboom, you got yourself an openly scared and traumatized child!

redecorate means a repaint and they painted him g r ey, a female human coworker also overheard the bet and offered her make up set as sacrafice.

Okay so the animatronic building. Would they just have a living quarters there? like a glorified house hold but accustomed to robots. I also bet that some of the animatronics would try on different clothing. I MEAN LOOK AT FREDDY, BEAR'S NOT EVEN WEARING PANTS

#rinzanswers #fnaf #tw: nightmares #SKBSHEBDB #*SHAKES YOU BY THE SHOULDERS*#Y E S S S S

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0perfectimperfections0 · 2 years

Text

Early

The sun had climbed past the horizon an hour ago. At this point, the dolls who owned stores were busying themselves with the first waves of customers.

But not every doll got up early enough to greet the sun as it rose. And that was fine. Honestly, there was no problem in holding onto a few extra hours of the night.

Especially when you're still the most perfect doll in the town and everyone is beginning to realize that...well, when training dolls is not a priority on the weekends...you just give in to that desire to not get up at all.

To be honest, the only reason Lou forced himself at the break of dawn during the week was because he had to train the dolls.

But on Saturday morning, he didn't have to lift a finger. Not yet, anyhow.

Which didn't slide by the most hyper doll in town. Lou already knew who the hurried footsteps belonged to and the swinging of his bedroom door. He simply chose to ignore it.

Moxy surprised him by jumping on the bed, landing on his stomach. "Gah! Moxy what the heck?" He groaned.

"It's morning, sleepy head! Time to start the day!" She bounced excitedly, throwing the blanket off his legs.

"It's Saturday," Lou whined and rolled over on his side.

"And? There's so much to do today!"

"Can't we do it all tomorrow?" He mumbled into the pillow.

She laughed, "No, silly! I've got different plans for tomorrow. Now come on!" She yanked the blanket off entirely and pulled his legs toward the edge of the bed. "First we can get some breakfast. I know you love those blueberry muffins that Wage makes. And then we can go watch the boat race! And then we can--"

"Moxy, it's not even nine in the morning yet," Lou groaned, face planted into the bed as she dragged him off.

"Oh, come on, you get up way earlier than this during the week."

"Yeah, because I have a job to do. I don't train on weekends. This is my sleep time. Now go away." He gently kicked to try and get her to let loose of his ankles. She didn't budge.

"Well fix your schedule cause this is now designated bonding time!" Moxy yanked again on his ankles and managed to pull him off the bed. The blanket he was clinging to fell with him.

He grunted when he hit the floor but still made no effort to get up from where he was now half-wrapped in the blanket. "I don't like people this early in the morning."

She rolled her eyes. He was just being dramatic again. Grinning, she slowly crept closer and went for his sides. Lou instantly reacted in a fit of giggles that grew to all out laughter. He wreathed in the blanket he was tangled in. "M-Moxy stop!" He could barely get out.

"Not until you get up," she sang.

"Okay! Alright!" He gasped out and Moxy pulled back a little for him to breathe. "I'm up, geez." He stood to his feet, kicking the blanket away and fixing his pajamas. Lou watched her from the corner of his eye and quickly darted over the bed and toward the living room.

"Lou!" Moxy laughed and ran after him.

"I'm not being social today!" He held onto the kitchen island, Moxy standing on the other side.

She gave an exasperated sigh, "You talk to people every day--"

"Exactly! It gets exhausting after a while."

The two of them made short motions to dart around the Island, neither committing. In a fit of giggles, Lou decided to be bold and make another run for it. The pink doll was quick to shoot after him.

"It'll only be a few hours!"

"Liar! You said the whole day!"

"Same thing!"

"Is not!" Moxy laughed and managed to corner him in his bedroom. "Nowhere to go, Lou."

He was panting at this point, "In a way, that's exactly what I was trying to accomplish."

"Oh my gosh," she quickly caught him by the arm before he could dash again. "It'll be fun!"

He dropped to the floor dramatically, letting his form go slack. Moxy was pulled back suddenly at the change of weight. "Why can't we just stay here?" He whined.

"Because that's boring!"

"No it's not," Lou poked out his bottom lip in a pout, looking up at her. "We could...watch a movie," he fished for ideas, "or...bake something--oh! We could make a...what do you call those things. The--the pillow-thingies...um--"

"A pillow fort?"

"Yeah! A pillow fork!"

"Fort," she corrected with a smile.

"Whatever," he wrinkled his nose.

Moxy contemplated it for a second. She relented and let go of his arm, "Fine, we'll just hang out here for the day."

"Really?" Lou perked up at her. She nodded and no sooner found herself being dragged by Lou toward the living room, "Yay! C'mon, I got a list now of everything we can do!"

Moxy grinned at his new enthusiasm, "Oh how the tables turn."

#uglydolls #lou #fanfiction #writing #moxy #short story

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starsfic · 1 year

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Here is a fairly recent idea, probably one of my better ones.

Idea 15: Vanessa is good at bedtime stories

You know what I think? I think Gregory might think about that story for a while afterward. Then, one day...

"Hey, Ness...how did you meet Afton?" He knows about the game and such. But he doesn't know how.

There's no blame in his voice. No anger. Just curiosity about a story that's probably been weighing down on her shoulders for a while now. And you know what? Vanessa's been through so much that this? This doesn't even bother her.

"...It started when a friend of mine passed away..."

#Stars Answers #FNAF #FNAF Security Breach #Five Nights at Freddy's #Five Nights at Freddy's Security Breach #FNAF Gregory #Gregory #FNAF Vanessa #Vanessa

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