#because 1) I like pseudo angst with a happy ending 2) they seem like between the two. Palkia would act on their emotions more easily

[damienthepious]

i kept forgetting to do these so welcome to a four chapter deluge. this is from. December i think.

The Beast In On His Chain (chapter 6)

[ch 1] [ch 2] [ch 3] [ch 4] [ch 5] [ao3] [ch 7] [ch 8] [ch 9] [???]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien, Sir Damien/Rilla, Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Sir Damien, Lord Arum, Rilla, Sir Absolon

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, prisoner/guard dynamic, Dehumanization, (which feels like a weird word to use for a nonhuman person bUT. it’s what i got.), Despair, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, (EVENTUALLY!!!! it’ll take a while), Captivity, Suicidal Thoughts, (that will be a theme throughout. inescapable in this particular fic. alas.), Eventual Romance, (Yes the dynamics in this one are fucked. honestly i’m kinda Stretching my limits these days.), (having fun with it. fucking around. it’s fine.), Recovery, (eventually), Self-Reclamation

Chapter Summary: Contemplation and conversation.

Chapter Notes: i was going to do a chapter of something else because a comment Got Me Thinking, but that's gonna need more elbow grease. For now, a little pinch more angst! Warnings for some overt suicidal thoughts, continuing dehumanization, continuing pseudo-starvation.

~

It's shockingly easy to hide the charcoal.

There's a small gap, not much larger than the width of a finger, between the back of the plinth and the stone of the wall. He imagines that it was meant to be pushed flush, stone against stone, but human architecture continually disappoints him. The charcoal fits neatly in the space and so long as he is careful, it won't fall all the way to the floor. He could likely retrieve it anyway, even if it did so, the tip of his tail is narrow enough these days to slip into the gap, but he would need to flick it out to one side or the other if so, and chances are that he might lose it then to either the clutter of the room, or if the noise drew the attention of the guard.

Of course-

No one really looks at him, anymore, so the chances are fairly slim that one of the knights might pay him any mind even if he did make a strange clattering noise. No one fears that the lizard might escape.

The smallest of blessings. And, as well, a seeming admonishment from the Universe. If he only tried harder, tried more often- if he still had the energy-

(Perhaps then he could manage to get himself killed.)

(Perhaps then the Keep might finally be free again.)

He isn't even certain why, precisely, the charcoal appeals to him. The smallest wedge against the monotony, perhaps. Perhaps some part of his mind is foolish enough to think that he could find a way to do damage with so small an implement. He wonders where, within his arms-length world, he might be able to get away with scribbling anything without it being seen. He knows this little distraction will only serve him for a short time, one way or another, but that does not mean he wishes to act foolishly and lose the privilege.

The guards (barring one) are almost shamefully predictable in their patrols. Arum keeps their pace in his mind, an almost musical repetition of footsteps approaching, retreating, as the little creature walks his circuit. When the footsteps begin to retreat, when he has the most possible time without the possibility of human eyes upon him, he takes the charcoal in a hand, and-

(the paper wrapping it, to keep the black from staining fingers- it still smells like her)

(or- it smells like the outside world, at the very least)

He presses the charcoal to the stone beneath him, stroking a slow, careful line. His hand wants to shake, but he grits his teeth, holding as steady as he can, tracing familiar curves, summoning memory.

A lily is a fairly simple shape. Delicate curved trumpet, trailing line for the stem. A few extra strokes for leaves. Arum needs to press the charcoal against the stone and cover the image with a palm to keep from-

Doing something. Snapping the charcoal, perhaps. He just wants. The shape of the feeling is hard to define. Some surging howling thing pulses in his chest, and makes all his muscles want to tense, want to run, want to scream.

He cannot. So he breathes instead, ragged and rough until it slows into something less painful.

He uncovers the flower. He stares at it for a long, long moment. He obscures it with his tail, tucks the charcoal back away, and goes to sleep again.

~

Another day in the Trophy Room. Damien feels his resolve waning, but-

Stay the course, do the job, and soon enough he will be free again, back to questing and protecting the citizenry and keeping pace with Sir Angelo's record.

(Damien will be free again.)

(This monster never will be.)

He shakes his head. He stays the course. He walks in his limited little circle through the limited little circle of a room, and he does not look at anything in particular for any length of time.

The head by the swamp lord's plinth is muttering again today, vague suggestions of phrases that worry at the back of Damien's mind. It drives everyone away with its thrashings and flailings. He stiffens his spine, he makes another circuit. It can only be loved out of pity. He pretends not to feel his fingers trembling.

Foolishness and foolishness again. Rilla, dearest Rilla is... distracted, yes, her eyes distant as she chews on her knuckle, thoughtful and as far from Damien as she could possibly be while they share breakfast, her nose intermittently in her journal until he departs.

He did not mention it. He wishes he had. She would have known what to say to comfort his aching, trembling heart, and now instead he walks his patrol and he tries to ignore as that wretched head murmurs and hisses his own insecurities back to him.

He worries, as well, that the monster on the plinth might be able to hear what the head torments him with, and he has no desire to allow such a creature to see into his own weaknesses. Terrible idea, that.

He glances toward the dragon when he passes, entirely without meaning to, as the head mutters again (it will never prove itself better than its cowardly instincts), and thankfully the monster does not appear to have been paying any attention to him whatsoever. It looks unconscious again, in fact.

But-

He pauses, steps faltering to a stop as he stares at the stone beneath the monster. Something- something is different. Beneath the monster's narrow tail-

Black marks.

He opens his mouth-

And closes it again.

Stay the course. It could just be a crack in the stone he hadn't noticed before. It could be an odd shadow, he can barely tell from here, with the subtly flickering dim light from the lamps.

The monster isn't even awake enough to notice his patrol coming to a halt, apparently. It would be pointless to wake him, wouldn't it? What would Damien even gain? Interrogating a monster that cannot answer without dire pain for the sake of a black scraping on some stone?

He shakes his head. He turns back to his work.

~

He does not notice the monster's slitted eyes watching him retreat, still and patient.

~

Rilla talks to the tour guide before they even go in, this time. It's the same knight as last time (she's fairly certain, though it can be hard to tell under all that armor, sometimes) and he's obviously too bored to care about her nosiness. He shrugs and reminds her not to cross the lines on the floor, and when she assures him that she won't, he leaves her to her own business, turning to lead the group through at a quicker pace.

The monster is sleeping again when she approaches, or at least he appears to be, considering the fact that as soon as she slows in front of his little dais, his eyes crack open and he pulls his head back with obvious surprise, glancing over her shoulder towards the retreating tour group before flashing her a look of muted wariness.

"You didn't actually believe that I'd be coming back," Rilla says conspiratorially, "did you?"

The monster's eyes flash, a vague hint of amusement, and after a beat he shakes his head.

"Well, there you go! I bet it's a change of pace to get a surprise around here, let alone a pleasant one." She pauses, not sure what the look on the monster's face means just then. "At least. I hope that it's a pleasant surprise for me to be back."

His expression shutters off, going very blank as he lowers his face down to rest on his arms again, but Rilla's fairly confident that she saw another flash of amusement, which is likely as close to a confirmation as she'll get.

Well. That's fine. She gets not wanting to be, like... effusive while chained to a rock. She lifts her sketchbook, though, and he perks right back up.

"You agreed, last time, and honestly I had a pretty good look at you during our last conversation. Do you wanna see what I managed? It's probably not, like, entirely accurate, but... still." She pauses drumming her fingers off the leather cover as the monster visibly considers, tipping his head back and forth and flicking his tongue (Scenting the air? Scenting her? She's glad she spent most of the morning crushing mint instead of something more odious, at least.) before he begrudgingly nods.

Looking at him now, the sketch is slightly off, of course. She's not an "artist," exactly. She just... has an eye for detail. She actually managed to draw him looking less emaciated than he is, which-

Is a little heartbreaking, maybe. She ignores that for now. The lines are pretty much perfect on the shape of his snout, his horn stumps, his eyes, though. She didn't draw the chains, for this one, so she had to guess how narrow his wrists are under there, the shape of his neck. She turns the page towards him, watching as he cranes that neck for a better look.

He blinks, then tilts his head again. He rumbles a strange noise in the back of his throat, his expression pinching oddly, and then- he drops his eyes. He nods vaguely; Rilla isn't sure if it's an acknowledgment of accuracy or just acknowledgment in general, or something else entirely. She wishes he could just-

Moment of vivid imagination: tearing the collar apart with her bare hands.

"I'll take that as a, very nice job, thank you for showing me," she says, as chipper as she can manage, and the monster snorts, rolling his eyes to the ceiling. "This is a different sketchbook, by the way," she adds, and that look in his eye from last time - that hunger - sparks again. "I've been doing some studies lately, mostly just for practice. Should I..?"

She waggles her fingers against the edges of the paper, and the monster meets her eye for a moment, frowning. He huffs, looks to her hands, the book, again, and then he growls lightly even as he gives a single decisive nod.

And. Okay.

So, maybe she'd been thinking of the monster when she took this particular sketchbook around, this week. Maybe she'd been thinking of the particular pages he seemed to respond to on her first visit.

Maybe she'd gone and found some particularly nice landscapes to draw. Maybe she'd picked some of her favorite plants in the garden to depict. Maybe she'd staked out a birdfeeder or two to find some particularly striking subjects.

He needs the boost, she thinks. He drinks in the images like he's starving in more ways than one. She makes sure to linger on the pages for as long as he needs, waiting until he shifts or makes a small noise or gives some other indication that he's ready to move on before she turns the page.

She does need to pause, for a little while, and migrate a few steps down to pretend to sketch again while the next tour group comes through, but that only takes a few minutes. She pulls a face at the retreating backs of the group when they're finished, and the monster wrinkles his snout in something that looks like suppressed laughter.

She returns to the dais when there's less chance of being observed again, lifting out the book.

The monster, however-

He tears his eyes away from the landscape (from a hill not too far from the lake, overlooking the water from a fair distance in the late evening, the Gate of Tranquility just a suggestion in the distance, between the trees) (she'd even gotten out the paints, for that one, to give a bit of color) and looks at her, instead. He fixes her with the vivid purple of his eyes, almost glowering but not quite angry so much as- purposeful? Stern? And then he-

He opens his mouth.

"Why?" he asks, the single word scraping like a heavy sack dragged over gravel, his expression equal parts tired and pained and dignified, and Rilla resists the urge to take a step back in surprise.

She... hadn't expected him to speak. She knew that he could, Damien implied as much, but...

Clearly, it hurt him to speak. He did it anyway. Which means that this question matters, to him.

She lowers the book, just a little, and she considers the best way to answer. The most honest way to answer.

"Because..." she tries, and then her mind spins off in countless directions.

Because this is wrong. Because it doesn't matter how awful this war is, there's no excuse for treating anyone like this. Because you looked at my book like you wanted to eat it last time, and you look fucking starving. Because I'm a doctor and you look sick to your soul. Because I wanted to. Because you wanted me to. Because. Because. Because.

She sighs. "Because this is wrong," she settles on, deciding that her first instincts are usually the most accurate. "And I can't do anything about it right now. This is... this is the least of it. I can't do anything real. But- but I can do this," she says, and then she turns the page, showing another drawing she went at with the paints. Her own namesake, on a whim, in a vivid orange-red.

He exhales unevenly, and then his face does something that looks like a grimace for a moment before it resolves into a darkly amused sort of smirk. He gestures to the page, and then half-laughs as he moves his hand to gesture to her, more specifically.

She blinks. "Hm?"

He raises and eyebrow, and then he repeats the motion again. The flower, herself.

And it is her namesake.

She laughs, a shocked burst of it, and then she quickly slaps a hand over her mouth and muffles the rest of her laughter so as not to draw any unwanted attention.

"Oh," she says through a smile. "This is- I sign my finished- you can read human language?" she asks, and he gives her a derisive look. "Okay, okay, fair. Yes. Yeah, Amaryllis. Good catch."

His smirk tips briefly into a grin, and then his face drifts back to blankness as he clearly considers something. She tilts her own head, but she doesn't want to... like... scare him off of whatever he's thinking about, so she doesn't interrupt or question. After a few moments, he shifts his body and looks down, and she realizes-

The way he'd been resting, he'd been covering something with one of his legs. A little sketch on the stone. In charcoal.

A lily.

She stares at it, drinking in the details and noting that it seems to have been drawn slowly, a basic shape a little more smudged beneath added detail, the veins of the leaves and the spadix spiking up from the petals carefully amended.

"A calla lily," she tries, and when the monster wrinkles his snout she tries again. "An arum?"

He exhales a strange little noise, clearly struck, and then he nods, the motion jerky and feverish, and he points again, just like before, to the drawing, and then- himself.

She looks at the flower, and then she looks up at the monster, the swamp lord, as his eyes-

Arum's violet eyes go sharp and bright with something like tears.

But Rilla doesn't get to see much more than that, before the tour guide breezes through and finally ushers her back out.

#elle's fanfic #second citadel #rad bouquet #lizard kissin' tuesday #the beast in on his chain #lord arum #sir damien #amaryllis of exile #aaaAA

[scalproie]

Ok but what would Palk and Dia even get up to? I’m curious

Aw man aw man it's great because it could be about anything

Immediate gut feeling is telling me: Hero and Partner have Dialga and Palkia summoned to help them for a mission but like, they make it a challenge, no crazy time or space powers involved, just this once the Gods have to put themselves in the shoes of regular pokemon, albeit much bigger than your average 'mon, for how many hours it takes them to like, retrieve an item for exemple

(How badass would that be? "Oh yeah the ones that found the keys you've lost after your picnic are the prized regular guests of our team : the Gods of Time and Space themselves.")

Obviously Palkia wouldn't be thrilled but I feel Dialga would take it in stride, even be more playful about it, in a "I don't really take it seriously but I'll humor you" way? This situation is very new for the both of them because their usual mission is much more... important? To the great scheme of things? So that the world doesn't collapse and everything? Plus they've been around since creation so doing one (1) mission that isn't time or space-related wouldn't make an impact on their usual job cause it's just so insignificant.

(Also spoilers: another morale of this story would be like. They'd see the happy face of their client or something and be like "Oh yeah turns out everything is important to someone and nothing's really insignificant and actually our entire purpose to keep time and space from collapsing is to keep those people safe. Right. I mean I knew it but I also forgot about it. Arceus would kill me.")

BUT THE MISSION'S JUST AN EXCUSE BECAUSE THE REAL MEAT WOULD BE IN THE INTERACTIONS BABEYYY

Like. For starters. "Why are YOU the leader and I the partner?", like how would they even determine this and you know it has pseudo-siblings bickering vibes.

Then It'd also be awkward as hell as they're making their way, obviously, but still you gotta make small talk right? And it's not like if the events that previously occured were totally unprecedented in both your long long lives, right? No massive copperajah in the room.

Questions must be fun when you both have omnipotence because it's just "I know you know" back and forth.

And then it's headcanon central.

Mentions of Darkrai and Cresselia, of Giratina maybe, as they complete their trio, of Hero and Partner, of Arceus...

Did Palkia knew about what happened to Dialga and vice-versa? Did they do something? Could they do something? Did they felt it? Dialga almost going Primal and/or being Primal for a long time? What happened to Palkia in the now-alternate future? Did they fought? Did they interacted at all? Again, if not, because of choices, or duties? How much has it impacted Dialga cause you can't just brush that off, can you? How do Dialga and Palkia even percieve Time and Space? What about the Future? And most importantly how do both of them feel about everything, you know? From Darkrai's plan to the situation they're in right now. They're alone with one of the only other pokemon that can and could understand them, and even though they are very different, it might even be the one they feel the closest to, because of the importance of their respective duty compared to others, and/or because of the fact that they're parallels.

Also, it would be very awkward and funny and somewhat cute to have them try to show understanding and affection when they both seems like the uptight type who live by rules and protocols. Look at how they talk. And act. They have responsibilities and stuff they can't possibly show emotions other than anger.

#if you ask me Palkia's the one who initiate the hug #because 1) I like pseudo angst with a happy ending 2) they seem like between the two. Palkia would act on their emotions more easily #3) theyre bipedal #This whole scenario would switch between super heavy and awkward as hell #anyway sorry I got very passionate #anon #long post #pmd

[fangirlingincamouflage]

Blind Hope: Chapter 7

Title: Blind Hope Author: Rosie Dayze Word Count: 1,232 Pairing: Nick Jakoby x Reader Chapter Rating: PG-13 Themes: Angst, Plot, affectionate frustration Disclaimer I do not own Nick Jakoby, he is the intellectual property of Netflix Originals, I make no money from this fanfiction. Dedication: @14readwritedraw96 and @thezucchini​ (For being so wonderfully enthusiastic) TW/CW Descriptions of pain, long term hospital stay

Previous chapters:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7 <~ You are Here

You are standing in the middle of the pasta isle at the grocery store when your cell phone goes off. It's that distinctive ping of an unknown number texting you. You sigh, roll your eyes, and wonder what is the easiest possible thing that you can make for dinner that night. In the past six days your workload has tripled. June and Em are on a much needed vacation and Nick is still unconscious at the hospital.

You know that because you called right before you left to go grocery shopping. You also called first thing this morning, and last night, and the morning before, and the night before that. You have called the hospital at least twice a day for the past thirty-seven days. You got the exact same information.

“Officer Jakoby is still in an induced coma, and he is not ready to be seen by friends or family.”

It was maddening.

Your phone goes off again and you set a jar of premade sauce back on the shelf. Your stomach isn't feeling red sauce. It isn't feeling pasta. Or oranges. Or any one of a thousand other things you were totally down for eating. You hadn't been hungry since the night part of LA went up in magical flames. Since Nick had been hospitalized.

With a sigh you eased into the snack isle. Is a bag of chips an acceptable replacement for dinner? Probably not, but you've had take out for the past two weeks and absolutely none of it has filled the steady, continuing ache in your heart.

Your phone goes off again.

“What?” you snarl loud enough to make the old lady with a basket full of frozen dinners blink with bewilderment. “Sorry. Not you.”

You pull your phone out and waive it at her. She doesn't look convinced, and doubles her speed to get into the next isle.

With a few swipes you bring up your new messages.

“This is Jessica, the Head Nurse at the Intensive Care Unit at the UCLA Medical Center.” The first message reads.

Your heard pounds so hard in your chest that your vision goes a little hazy. You grip your phone tightly enough to make the screen rainbow with protest.

“Nick Jakoby has achieved a state of continuing consciousness. One of my nurses made the mistake of telling him that you had stopped by.”

That hazy feeling turns to ash. You had wanted to see him yourself, to let him know what had gone on, and why you hadn't talked to him in six, not seven, months.  He must be angry, furious.

The third message is brief, and comes across as a little mad. “In order to keep him in bed, I promised him you would come see him tonight. Do not make me a liar.”

You desert your cart, and take the shortest possible trip to the hospital that you have ever taken. Which is impressive, considering all the times you driven up there in the past month, just in case something had happened between your morning and evening check-ins.

You don't stop at the front desk, you know where you are going. The elevator doors close as you turn the corner, and the wait for the next ones seems like an eternity. The moment the doors whoosh open, you surge inside hitting the buttons for the ICU floor. You don't even wait. You ht the close-door button and watch your reflection stare back at you as the lift starts to rise.

What are you going to say? Should you have gotten balloons? Flowers? A stuffed animal? Would he even be allowed those things? Did he want them from you? Did he want to see you to make up or to have a final talk? In the twenty-eight seconds that it takes to get to your floor, your mind plays out you greatest hopes and worst fears in a strange, overlapping loop that leaves you feeling a little lightheaded.

Though maybe that has something to do with the fact that you haven't eaten well in a month.

Your clothes don't fit right, you think as you tug at the fabric. You should have gone home to change. You were wearing your comfy clothes to go shopping. The fabric weird. Then you realize its not the fabric, its your own skin. You are so nervous that your skin feels like an electric current is running through it. With a huff you roll your shoulders, trying to settle your nerves. It doesn't help.

The doors slide open and as fast as you got into the elevator, you hesitate to get out. This could go wrong. What if his mother is there? His partner? What about Johnassen, the jerk who broke his phone so long ago?

It doesn't matter you tell yourself as you take that first step off the elevator. All that matters is he's awake. You'll be able to see him with your own eyes.

A stern looking woman with stark gray curls looks up from a desk as you approach. She tilts her head and inspects you.

“For Jakoby?” she asks like she already knows the answer. “Follow me.”

Your heart is in your ears as you follow in the steps of her worn out shoes. She swipes her badge, taking you through a set of secure double doors. The sounds of the hospital change. The ICU is bereft of human noises, but it isn't quiet. You can hear televisions on a half a dozen channels turned down low, doing what they could to preoccupy patients who were in layers of pain. The sound of breathing machines hiss and whirl. A man in green scrubs wheels supplies down the hall. There's no happy, warm chatter. Just a strange sense of desolation and pain.

You do not like it here, and you can't imagine Nick here. Nick, with his warm laugh and kindness. Nick who kisses you like the universe exists in your lips. You want to scoop him up and take him away.

The nurse stops outside of a door at the end of the hall.

“They are quarantined behind a see through partition,” she tells you in the kind of no-nonsense voice that must come from years in her work. “Do not attempt to breech this partition.”

She holds out a long medical gown. Confused, you shoved your arms into the sleeves. She spins you, and starts to tie it up, and then she puts another one on your back, spinning you again so she can tie it in the front. She hands you a cap, and a mask, and you put them both on as she helps your feet into medical grade booties.

“How dangerous is it?” You ask as she holds up a pair of gloves to slip on your hands.

“Unknown,” she tucks the end of the gloves over the wristband of the double set of gowns. “But you saw the news, you know where they were. Better safe than sorry.”

She types a number into the key pad. “You get ten minutes. No more, no less. I'm not being mean, but we need to minimize any chance of exposure.”

You nod your understanding. Ten minutes isn't much time, but you'll make the most of it.

“There are armed men in there,” she finally says. “Don't do anything to make them think you are a threat.”

It's the last bit of advice she gives you before the pad turns green and the door is opened.

The room is long, white, and empty save for what looks like a box made out of hanging plastic. Only a few of the lights are on, casting half the room in evening darkness. There are several beds, but only one of them is occupied. The long, lean body of a black male is visible beneath the harsh lighting. Three other people stand guard, dressed from head to toe, AR-15 clutched in their hands. The door closes behind you.

For a moment you stand there, frozen and unsure. A little, ugly thought makes you wonder if this is some weird trick. Then you hear your name.

Your eyes are drown to the shape of a man sitting in a chair. You hadn't noticed him at first because the dark lines of his body blend a little too easily with the pseudo darkness on that side of the room. But now that you've seen him, you can't pull your gaze away.

Nick. You'd know the shape of him anywhere. The broad, strong line of his shoulders stands guardian against the pitch black behind him. There's a blanket across his legs, and an IV in his arm.

“It's you,” he says softly, disbelieving.

“Nick.” You take one step, and then another, and before you know it your legs are carrying you across the room. You almost forget the plastic. When you foot hits it, you're startled. The guards watch you with cold glares. “Sorry.”

And once you start saying it, you can't stop. Over and over again you apologize. You don't realize you are crying until you taste the hot salt of your own tears. You are sorry you didn't call him. You are sorry you left. You are sorry you didn't answer him back. You are sorry for everything you ever did in the last six months because none of those things was going to him. You sink to your knees at the edge of the partition, the tears making it impossible to speak.

He says your name again, so soft you wonder if you dreamed it. You look up, and he's shaking his head.

“Please, don't cry.”

Slowly, unsteadily, he gets up. He doesn't look at you as he pulls the chair from one side of the plastic sheet box to the other. Right in front of you, he plops the chair down, and then lowers himself into it. His staccato motions belie how hurt he must still be.

The pair of you are silent as you look one another over. You see the bruises beneath his woad blue spots; purple and yellow and, in some places, black. You see the stitches in his arm, the thick swelling of his hands. The skin around his cheeks is slack with the lack of food he's gotten in the past month. But his eyes, those gorgeous eyes that are yellow and red and orange all at once, they are filled with pain that has nothing to do with being thrown half a football field by a magical explosion.

“You're here,” he says, his voice soft. “I thought-” He stop short, shrugging, and then wincing.

“I know,” you tell him. While you aren't sure of the exact words he must have thought, you know that it couldn't have been good.

“Why?” he asks.

You open your mouth to tell him, but the words wont come. You remember Elizabeth, his mother, and the way she had looked at you. You could tell him everything, but what good would that do? He might get angry at his mother, it might cause some kind of rift between them and how many people did Nick really have who cared that much for his safety? Not nearly enough, you think as you take in injuries you hadn't noticed before.

Instead you shrug. You can't bring yourself to lie, but you can't bring yourself to tell him the truth either, no matter how much it's burned inside of you. You turn the words that she said over in your mind, pulling an answer from them without revealing their source.

“You got hurt because you were with me.” Your voice cracks as you say it.

His eyes close and his shoulders sag. His body leans forward. You think he's about to slide out of the chair. The pair of you kneel on the floor, staring at one another. Emotions that you don't think have ever been named whirl through you. You want to touch him, you want to hold him, you want to vanish together into the night.

“No,” he said shaking his head. “No. You were just the excuse. When they saw me-” he cuts off, coughs, and shakes. “They'd already decided what they were going to do.”

He looks away. You can tell that there's more to say, that he's struggling. Rather than push you give him a moment. He deserves that at the very least.

“It wont happen again,” he says.

“Why not?”

He opens his palm, I can't see anything there, but he must because he's staring down at it like it's something special.

“I can't talk about a lot that happened that night,” he says. “I want to, I want to tell you everything but...I can't.”

You shake your head. “I just need to know you are safe.”

“I think I am. I mean-I gotta tell you, it was not a normal night. I was...I was blooded.”

Your eyes go wide. You can't help but stare at his lips. He smirks.

“It'll take a while for the tusks to grow. But I don't need to file them anymore.”

You sit back on your heels. “Are you okay with that?”

He shrugs. “I guess that depends.”

“On what?” you ask.

He takes a deep breath and looks at you. It's a long look, a scared and hopeful one. It's like he's weighing a thousand dreams as he watches you and all you can do is wait.

“I thought I was getting over you,” he finally says. “It'd been months. Long months. Really, really long months. My mom even set me up on a couple dates with some unblooded girls from other states.”

Your stomach twists.

“Yeah?” you say, hoping that he's not about to tell you that he has moved on and this whole thing was about him saying goodbye.

“They were nice, but they...they didn't understand me. They didn't like what I do. They didn't like my jokes and they all thought Alaska is stupid.” The two of you laugh and it feels so good. He shifts his position until the two of you are nearly the same height. “I wasn't falling for someone else but I was pretending really hard like I was getting over you.”

You nod, you know what he means. You'd been going through all the motions, acting like you were moving forward when all you were doing was playing the role and hoping.

“I was going to come see you,” he said. “As soon as my shift was over that night. I was going to go right to your apartment. Everyone said I shouldn't because I'd just get hurt, but I thought that it would be worth it. I just..”

Slowly he reached into the blanket still twisted around his legs. His thick, injured fingers shook with pain as he pushed the fabric around.

“Where-hold on-it's here, I swear.”

Your heart, which has already gone through far too much, pounds all over again. Your mouth goes dry.

“Nick...”

“I almost died you know,” he says as he lifts a corner, continues to look. There's a little wetness on his brow, and you wonder if it's fear, nerves, or pain that's put it there. “And not just once. I almost died like four times.”

One of the guards cleared their throats.

“I know,” Nick said, holding up his free hand. “I know. I can't tell her anything. But you only have to look at me to see that it happened.” He went still, and bowed his head. “I did die.”

It's not even a whisper, there's no sound. It's a breath of words that you are sure the guards couldn't hear. You pounding heart turns to ice in your chest.

“What?”

But he doesn't say it again. Instead he looks up at you and his eyes are bright with a hundred emotions. “And all I could think about, was you.”

He holds out his hand. Nested there is a black velvet box. Carefully, he opens it, revealing a ring. It's made of two metals, platinum and rose gold, twisted around one another to form a very simple braid, and right there at the center is a stone in the exact same shade of blue as his spots.

“All  I thought about every day has been you,” he is saying when your ears start to work again. “And I don't want to ever have to worry again.”

You swallow twice before you can speak. “Are you proposing?”

You aren't sure if he's blushing, but his ears twitch. “Only if you're saying yes.”

“You have to ask,” you say. “You have to...ask.”

“Is it a spell? A human thing?” he says.

You shrug, because it kind of is, but mostly you just need to time to stop your thoughts from making such a commotion in your head. There are a hundred ways this could go wrong, a thousand even, but even so-

He says your name and you find that he's shifted yet again, down on one knee in front of you. “Will you marry me?”

#nick jakoby fanfiction #nick jakoby x reader #nick jakoby #proposal #cute #sweet fanfiction

[broadway-book-badger]

Let’s talk about books

Back in the day, about three years ago, I went through a phase of posting monthly write-ups of what I’d been reading on here. In these trying times there seems to be a little bit more time for reading, plus escapism and procrastination are always fun, so I though I’d share a few recommendations. There’s a few different genres (amazingly, hardly any YA fantasy), and I’ve mostly read these in the last year or so. I’ve kept my thoughts as spoiler free as I can. Read them under the cut.

1. The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins

Everyone and their mother has read The Hunger Games. I have read The Hunger Games before. But, a couple of weeks ago, I reread the trilogy for the first time since my first reading, which was around Christmas 2011. And to be perfectly honest, these books hold up! I think maybe it’s because I read so many not so good dystopian YA novels after I first read the Hunger Games that I thought less of this trilogy, but I don’t know. This is a solid series. If you’ve never revisited it (or if you’ve never read it at all), now could be the time! I love the fast paced writing - once things kick off, they do not stop and I burned through the whole trilogy in about three days. The world building is decent, and it doesn’t back away from some pretty heavy stuff. I remember certain scenes being much more gory, but that’s probably just because I’ve read much worse in the past 9 years. Also being older, I appreciate Katniss as a character a lot more. I remember 13-year old me getting annoyed, but now I kind of like that she is allowed to be confused about her feelings and struggle with what she’s been through and generally be a pawn rather than a flawless 16-year old rebel commander as seen elsewhere. The love triangle also isn’t as bad as I remember, although I was reminded of my own love for Peeta. Some people complain that he’s boring, but I think he’s a lovely boy.

2. The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon

I’ve been wanting to read this since I saw someone on the internet pitch this as something along the lines of “The queer dragon fantasy epic you’ve been waiting for.” I did a lot of waiting for it to come out in paperback, because it is an absolute behemoth over 800 pages, and while incredibly pretty, the hardback was just too big. It was, however, well worth the wait. I haven’t read a ton of adult fantasy, because a lot of it is so big, but this was a good place to start, because the writing style is pretty easy to read and also its a standalone, so the story is told by the end, it’s not the first of like 6 800 page bricks. While the plot and the characters and the love story between a queen and her handmaiden who’s a badass sorceress in disguise are all enjoyable, the thing I loved the most was the worldbuilding. I love the time and effort that was spent developing the religions and mythologies of all the different kingdoms and how they clash in ways such as different takes on the legend of St George and the dragon, and the contrast Western dragons as monsters to be slain by knights vs benevolent Eastern dragons that kind of echoes real world mythology. I saw one review of this describing ‘Priory’ as ‘a feminist successor to Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones.’ While I think you could definitely say that that is the case, I would say that equally being more feminist than either of those titles is not a particularly high bar, given that there are only about 5 named women in the whole of Middle Earth, and most of the women in Game of Thrones are assaulted and brutalized for no good reason. 

3. Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston

This book made me so happy, you have no idea. An enemies to friends to lovers story about the son of the first female American president and the Prince of England, that reads kind of like fanfiction but in the best possible way is exactly what the world needs right now. Everything about this book is delightful, from the characters to their relationships to the pseudo-alternate history that its set in. I think the thing that increased my enjoyment of this is the fact that the main characters are in their early twenties. It seems to me that most protagonists, regardless of genre are either 16 or pushing 30, and while I still enjoy their stories, there was just something infinitely more relatable about a character the same age as me. If anyone knows of any more books with characters in this age range, please let me know, because they seem few and far between. Back to this, however, I think I was grinning like an idiot through most of this book. I laughed, I may have shed a little happy tear, I fully recommend.

4. The Broken Earth Trilogy by N K Jemisin

Another foray into adult fantasy, this is such a good series. The books aren’t too long and the writing style is easy to digest, but it is DARK. It’s set in a world which experiences apocalyptic natural disasters every couple of centuries. There are people with powers that can help control this, but they’re super oppressed and treated as evil, rather than potential saviours. The story follows a woman searching for her missing daughter in the wake of an apocalypse, a young girl coming into her powers and others, and it is so well done. It’s such a unique and diverse world, and there are some great reveals as to why the story is being told the way that it is, as well as interesting takes on things like living vs surviving and systems of oppression.

5. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

An aging and reclusive Hollywood star decides that the time has come to share her life story to an unknown journalist and it’s amazing. This is so well done that its easy to forget while reading that Evelyn Hugo is not a real person and you cannot go and watch her films. I first heard about this book and thought it sounded interesting, as I have a love of Old Hollywood musicals. I then promptly forgot all about it, until I heard other people on the internet talking about how it had a bisexual protagonist, which both reminded me about it and made me want to read it more and here we are. Evelyn Hugo had a hell of a life, with seven husbands and another great love story, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading about it. This book does a great job at showcasing both the glamour and less glamorous underside of the era, as well as the lengths people are willing to go. It also had me sobbing at 1am because I couldn’t put it down, and if that isn’t the mark of a quality book, I don’t know what is!

6. Circle of Friends by Maeve Binchy

A coming-of-age story following two childhood friends as they move from their small town to Dublin for University in the 1950s. Quite a chunky book, but a lovely story and I found it read pretty quickly. As I was saying about Red, White and Royal Blue, it’s rare to find books about characters of this sort of age range. Equally rare I think are books with a university setting - the only others I can think of are Fangirl, the Magicians and the Secret History - any recommendations, let me know! I enjoyed the characters growing and finding their confidence and independence, as well as the period setting. I also greatly appreciated the ending, in terms of the main character’s love interest, as it’s something that you don’t often see in this type of book. I may have to read more by this author.

7. Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton

This is one of those books that I just happened to read at the perfect time in my life, and for that reason it means a lot to me. I read it at the very end of 2018, when I was feeling really down and not myself, and something in there just spoke to me and maybe gave a little perspective. I don’t read much non-fiction and this is just the memoirs of someone as she navigates her teens and twenties. I can see why someone might not like it, but I really did. There’s some relatable content in here. As the book went on and I read all these parts about bad dates and third-wheeling friends, I kept waiting for the part where she said, ‘but then I met so-and-so and it all changed’ but that NEVER happened. By the end of this book, this woman is still single and praising all the types of non-romantic love in her life, and that I think is a bit of a revelation. It is so rare for a woman to stay single at the end of a book (see every YA love triangle ever, even when both boys are terrible), and so this resonated deeply with me. I laughed, I cried, I go back and reread bits every so often, and I wholeheartedly recommend.

8. Chain of Gold by Cassandra Clare

There are those who say that Cassandra Clare needs to stop, but I wholeheartedly disagree. As long as she wants to keep writing Shadowhunter books, I will keep reading them, because they are a hell of a lot of fun. I’ll admit, bits of the OG Mortal Instruments series aren’t the best thing I’ve ever read, but the historical series are in another league altogether. I adore the Infernal Devices trilogy, which features one of the few good love triangles in YA, and Chain of Gold is a promising start to a new series about the children of the Infernal Devices characters. I think there’s something about the historical setting that just works so much better than the modern series, it could be the angst that comes from things like marriages of convenience and ruined reputations, but I digress. I really enjoyed getting to know this new cast of characters, while also getting some appearances from old favourites. The plot was solid too, and I liked the new expansions to the mythology, while wondering what they mean for what’s coming in the rest of this trilogy. I think the fact that I read this in less than 48 hours, mostly sitting in the same spot tells you everything you need to know.

#booklr #books #reading #the priory of the orange tree #chain of gold #the seven husbands of evelyn hugo #lizzy reads

[w-m-blake]

I’m very proud of the writing I’ve done this week! Mortal Truth; and You Wish You Didn’t Ask the Question came out on Sunday; You Are Dead, My Life, and I Still Breathe came out yesterday; and I just posted the fifth chapter of The Sands of Titan! This week has been very productive! To celebrate (and because I want to know what people are interested in reading next), under the cut I’m putting the titles and short synopses of fics I’ve got on my to-do list. Message me if you want more information/want to weigh in on what to write next.

If Even Death Were Grace: “we begin in the dark/and birth is the death of us,” Anne Carson, “antigonick.” Anthony Stark, son of Howard Stark, Titan of the Forge, and Maria Carbonell, Titaness of Family and the Hearth, God of Invention, finds himself like Iphigenia, a sacrifice—a pawn—to placate the furies of other deities, for transgressions he didn’t commit. Nevertheless, he holds his chin up and walks the path to Hel, averting a war and agreeing to a marriage both. Better this than the alternative. Frostiron, retelling of Persephone and Hades (at least inspired by) with Tony in the place of Persephone and Loki as Hades.

I’m Not Playing God: (All this time, I’ve been playing human.) Frostiron, ThorBruce. Tony Stark walks out of the abandoned bunker in Siberia having awakened, realizing he was a god born to walk with humans. Rewriting from about the end of Ragnarok to Endgame.

I Hear You Whisper underneath Your Breath/I Hear You Whisper You Have Nothing Left: Tony wakes from nightmares of a life he can hardly imagine, a life where he’s left behind in a freezing bunker by an enemy wearing Steve Rogers’ face. Loki tries to comfort him, to distract him from these visions, but they become harder and harder to ignore—until something has to give. Frostiron.

Desiring More Yet: Harley Keener is always hungry, always starving, always looking for the next thing to drive his teeth into. He burns through ideas, through petty lovers, through inventions and motivations and addictions, looking for something—anything—that will satisfy him. He was hungry before leaving Rose Hill, his hunger driving him to New York, and he's still hungry even now, even cared for and loved by Tony and Pepper, even in this place that was supposed to be everything that he wanted. Perhaps it was some kind of idle dream, expecting thing new place to be all that he wanted, all that he needed.It did, at least, provide more distractions from his hunger than Rose Hill, Tennessee did. Peter Parker is content with what he has. Most of the time, at least. Sure, sometimes he's a little lonely—but Aunt May, Ned, MJ, Tony, Pepper, they're all there for him, just a phone call or a text away at their farthest. Sure, sometimes he carries this guilt from not doing enough, not being enough, failing people—but he's Spiderman, and he can't afford to get too down, because he's got other people counting on him. He pulls through. Sure, sometimes, the night is so big and dark and he feels like it's so empty it's going to swallow him whole, but Karen's in his ear all night, keeping him going. He's fine. Really. Maybe he's not as fine as he wants to be. Parkner.

One-Part Sadness, Two-Parts Tragedy: a Harley Keener character study told in three parts: the first is his time in Rose Hill, the second his transition from Rose Hill to NYC with Tony and Pepper’s help, and the third NYC post-Endgame. Major character death, no happy ending.

Warfare and a Man at War: a Tony Stark character study that will be a series, beginning with Warfare and a Man at War, followed by Of Gods and Men and concluding with In Hope and Fear. Warfare and a Man at War will focus on human conflict, the struggles of human war and its effects. Of Gods and Men will be the introduction of aliens and Other threats, justified paranoia, and how one fights an outmatched battle to win. In Hope and Fear will conclude the series; it will be the end results, the conclusion, what happens to civilians once the threat is “gone.”

Brinesoaked Bodies: mermaid!au. Chapter titles: “Left Broadside onto Breaking Seas;” “The Black Hurricane;” “Worn by Winds on Every Sea;” “The Whole Uproar of the Great Sea Fell Silent;” “Serenity that Calms the Weather;” “Brinesoaked Bodies.”

Insensible Shades: a Rapunzel/Tangled au meets Orpheus/Eurydice. Harley is the stolen child of King Anthony and Queen Virginia. Peter, a thief/vigilante dubbed “Spiderman,” is on the run from the kingdom’s guards—a misunderstanding, he insists—and comes across a tower. He takes Harley to see the lanterns, initially rather unwillingly, only to accidentally drag Harley into the mess of his non-legal affairs. Peter sacrifices himself to save Harley; Harley, in turn, becomes like Orpheus and travels to Hel to trade for Peter. Parkner, angst with a happy ending.

Boyfriend Clothes: Harley Keener lives in the same dorm as his friend, Peter Parker. They aren’t the closest—Ned Leeds and Michelle Jones definitely take up more of Peter’s time than Harley does—but they share physics and engineering courses, and both work as personal interns for Tony Stark—which is kind of code for Tony pseudo-adopting the young geniuses. Harley’s best friend is Shuri. She laughs at how Harley gushes over Peter—so long as he isn’t around. In turn, Harley teases Shuri for how she stammers around MJ. They’re both disaster gays. One night, Harley sees Peter walking to/from the bathroom (or something similar in the dorm) in pajama bottoms (shorts, which barely come past the shirt he’s wearing over them) and a giant fleece button down. It reached down almost to his mid-thigh and hung off his shoulder a little, the top button undone so the shirt was open to about his mid-sternum. Harley took this as obvious evidence that Peter now had a boyfriend (maybe even staying in his room that very night) and had to get to the bottom of it; he had to at least know who Peter was with—if only for the purposes of moving on. Parkner, college!au, no powers, silly fluff & humor, shenanigans.

Untitled #1: In order to keep the Time Stone from Thanos, Stephen Strange liquefies it (the way that the Reality Stone becomes Aether) and places it inside the only one on Titan who has withstood an infinity stone before: Tony. Thanos retreats temporarily to plan again; Tony must learn to use his newly-gained magic before he returns in order to save the universe.

Untitled #2: Disturbances occurring in the magical “ley lines” or Circumstances lead to Stephen investigating the multiverse; the disturbances aren’t coming from within this universe, or perhaps even any specific universe. They seem to be coming from all universes and none of them at the same time; it’s the roots of Yggdrasil, shaking with anticipation for whatever is on its way. A horror lurks in the void between Yggdrasil’s roots, and Stephen has to locate and banish it. Frostironstrange, Ironstrange, multiple universes, alternate timelines, horror/lovecraftian horror.

Untitled #3: Space pirates. The Ironfam (Tony, Pepper, Rhodey, Bruce, Peter, Harley, Morgan) are on the run from the imperial rule of the SHIELD system upon Tony, Rhodey, and Bruce discovering the way their military employers maintain and gain power. They’re pursued by a small task-force (Steve, Natasha, Clint, and Sam; Phil is their handler) from SHIELD and the Winter Soldier, a ship from the HYDRA system (once a colony of SHIELD which revolted and is now in the throes of a Reign of Terror, French revolution style) commandeered by a (brain-washed) captain proficient at hiding his ship using comets and ice rock fields. (The Winter Soldier is captained by James Barnes, a spy sent by SHIELD to keep an eye on HYDRA, only to fall into their hands.) The Winter Soldier has commands to capture Tony, Rhodey, and Bruce for their military & scientific knowledge. Yggdrasil is a system far enough from SHIELD and HYDRA that neither know of it; it’s ruled by Odin, king of Asgard and conqueror of Jotunheimr, Vanaheimr, Alfheim, Muspell, Svartalfheim, Niflheim, and Nidavellir. Loki was taken from Jotunheimr when it was the last planet to be subdued by Asgard, being the furthest planet from the system’s star; Odin intends on making Loki the ambassador for the Jotuns, knowing that they still mourn the loss of their prince. Loki doesn’t take this well when he finds out; his mother Freyja helps him to flee. Odin sends Thor after him to capture him “on grounds of treason.” Stephen Strange flees the Sanctum Sanctorum System when his planet, Kamar-Taj, is invaded by the rapidly-spreading empire Dormammu. The Ancient One had been grooming Stephen for taking her position as the protector of Kamar-Taj once she had stepped down, but Kaecilius, a jealous pupil of hers, aided Dormammu in infiltrating Kamar-Taj’s defenses as what he saw as retribution for being looked over for the position. The Ancient One, worried for the fate of the people she protects (not necessarily governs, though almost every government on Kamar-Taj recognized her as an influential power), sent Stephen away, having one of her trusted advisers, Wong, take him from the system. Kaecilius hears of the plot to sneak Stephen off the planet before the Dormammu forces could invade, and he attempts to prevent their escape. This fails, but Stephen does gain the favor of the Cloak of Levitation in this fight. Stephen and Wong escape, bringing the Cloak. Stephen intends on someday returning to rid Kamar-Taj of Dormammu rule, but he has a lot to learn from Wong and the universe first. All of these plotlines intersect, threading through, around, and with one another. Polycule: Tony, Pepper, Rhodey, Bruce. Eventual additions of Frostironstrange and ThorBruce

Untitled #4: sick!fic; I have the list of headcanons/ideas here. Parkner. Cute & fluffy, featuring trans Peter with an unidentified but minor sickness and Harley being a good boyfriend.

Untitled #5: Stardust!au. Part One: Tony Stark leaves Wall to explore the land beyond it which beckons him, but only for a short time, with people depending on him back home. He falls for an imprisoned fae, attempts to free him, but ultimately fails and must return to Wall. Not long after, the watcher of the wall brings him a child in a wicker basket named Harley. Part Two: Eighteen years later, Harley Keener is infatuated with a girl named Victoria. He, trying to win her hand over her other suitor, E.J., promises to bring her a star that they see falling from the sky. He expects something like a precious stone; he, instead, meets Peter. They get dragged into an adventure running from star-eating warlocks, meeting lightning-catching pirates—who always make sure to dock frequently, so their captain can see his alchemist spouse—and a wild scramble for a throne that seems to have no viable heir. (Whether the fae is Loki or Stephen, I haven’t yet decided. Weigh in if you have a preference.) Parkner, ThorBruce, either Frostiron or Ironstrange.

Beyond these, I have my NaNoWriMo story (rough hands//soft hearts) and my Clint Barton Bingo card.

#my work #update #okay I'm rlly happy about the SoT chapter ?? so i wanted to celebrate #& I also rlly like talking about what I'm working on #partially because it makes me think about it so I'm more likely to get it done sooner #but I also am just rlly excited to write them #!!

[seriouslyhooked]

Lost Souls and Reveries (Part 13)

22 part AU written for @cssns​. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6,Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12. Story available on AO3 Here and FF Here. Banner created by the amazingly talented @shipsxahoy​!!

Killian Jones is a wolf shifter without roots, without plans, and without a pack. He’s a rogue, someone humans should avoid and shifters should be wary of given his lineage. But one night years back set him on a path he didn’t realize he was taking, a path leading to a future he is destined for. That future is tied up in one woman – a human named Emma Nolan. Together Emma and Killian will find not only answers, but a love that’s truly fated. But will love be enough to set them free, or will past demons win out in the end? (Answer: love always wins – I am writing this so despite some tiny pockets of angst it’s basically a fluff-filled insta-love fest). Rated M.

A/N: Hey everyone! So after a long time away this chapter comes bringing some interesting new elements to the mix. I know that we have the Liam confrontation still to come, but there was another important thing that needed to happen too: Elsa and Anna needed to find out about magic. This chapter is bringing us to that moment, as well as throwing in some other elements as well. A lot of this you guys might have guessed at some of this, but I’m hoping you enjoy the layers and elements I’ve had tucked away in my mind since starting this story. As always thanks so much for reading and I am really looking forward to seeing what you all think!

Life as Emma knew it was totally and completely different than it had been just weeks ago.

Before this summer started, and before she’d found the gift of a mate and learned some big secrets about how the world really worked, she’d lived a normal life. There had been some instances of strangeness, and certainly there had been struggles strewn into her story here in Storybrooke Maine, but on the whole she’d been just a regular girl who met each and every day with a certain set of definitive facts. She didn’t even ever think about them, they were just supposed to be given parts of life, and one of those fundamental truths was that magic wasn’t real. It was a figment of fiction, a childish dream, a beautiful, hopeful imagined force, but it wasn’t supposed to actually exist.

Yet now she knew better. Emma had witnessed first hand some of the varied ways magic manifested itself. She’d seen shifters and encountered Ruby’s visions. This morning she’d even witnessed a bit of spell casting by Killian’s cousin as well, but Emma had been told by Ruby that it was nothing compared to what she’d see in the future. This was ‘mild magic’ but the magic brought about by Emma’s oldest and dearest friend was supposedly far more miraculous. That was amazing to imagine, but at the same time it didn’t make things any less uneasy. She was currently walking up the road to Elsa’s house preparing to tell her she was a witch and that was crazy. There was nothing about that that was normal or expected, and as such Emma was just a tiny bit concerned.  

“You’re going to do the talking, right?” Emma asked, checking with Ruby for the fifth time this morning about what was going to happen when they got to Anna and Elsa’s home.

This reveal had been on Emma’s mind in some capacity since Ruby and Granny showed up in Storybrooke, but now they were on the precipice of the confrontation and Emma was more than a little nervous. This was a huge secret and also a very intimate one. It would explain so much about Elsa and about Anna and their family, and Emma imagined it would be a real awakening for her friend, but at first Elsa might resist. All these years people had been teasing Elsa about her dreams or lovingly pushing the thought that maybe she truly had a gift. Emma and Anna had always known Elsa was special, but now there was more information and more possibility. If Ruby’s assessment of Elsa’s gifts was right, there was a whole new world that was about to open up to Emma’s best friend, and Emma knew that while Elsa would eventually be grateful, she might very well be hesitant at first.

Understandably Elsa was not a great proponent of change. Losing their parents so young had impacted both Elsa and Anna in incalculable ways. For Anna it had made her want to live each moment to a fuller extent. She never let a day pass where she didn’t tell people what they meant to her. She ended every friendly hang out session with an ‘I love you,’ and a huge hug at the very least. Anna was continuously grateful and energized, but she also took risks. She always said that life was all in the way you lived it. She never wanted to be afraid, and so sometimes she took things to extremes.

Elsa was almost a polar opposite, and Emma knew it wasn’t merely because she was a more introverted person. So much of that tendency towards caution had come from being the eldest sister. She’d taken on the role as caregiver and as pseudo-parent, and though Emma’s family and the whole town had come together to help the girls when their parents passed away, Elsa never shied away from her responsibilities. She became Mom and Dad and sister, guide and best friend, teacher and peer. As a result, Elsa would do anything for Anna, but in the rest of her life she was guarded. She never expended too much unnecessary energy and never gave too much away. She sided with safety and certainty, and this big reveal would hardly feel like a sure thing.

“I’m doing the talking,” Ruby promised, her hand coming to Emma’s arm in a sign of comfort. “Well, at least until you get comfortable. And you will, Emma. I promise. It’s gonna be great. I can’t see everything, as you know, but I can sense how things will end and it’s going to be more than okay.”

“I’d trust my cousin on this, love,” Killian said from Emma’s other side, squeezing her hand in a reassuring sign of connection as he did. “Ruby is never wrong about these things. If she’s confident enough to voice a vision, it will come to pass.”

“Damn right it will,” Ruby said with pride, and Emma was happy for this tiny fleeting moment.

Killian’s family might have come because of a bad situation on the horizon (and according to Ruby’s estimates they were still some time away from any kind of confrontation) but they’d done their best to live and be themselves since then. Killian’s deciding to stand his ground and confront Liam for better or worse here in Storybrooke seemed to embolden Ruby and Granny. With a plan somewhat established, they eased into things and had even started to show some signs of hope. Ruby’s visions were still unsure in regards to Liam, but her instincts weren’t as harried and afraid as they had been before, and Emma was more than glad for that.

“Sorry. I don’t mean to second-guess your abilities,” Emma said, not wanting Ruby to feel that she didn’t respect all that her new friend was capable of. “It’s just kind of a lot. Today I have to go tell my best friend she’s got magical powers. Then I have to ask her if she’s seen the future lately because there’s danger looming in a town that never really tends to see it. It’s a little…”

“Overwhelming,” Killian said at the same time that Ruby filled in with her own “totally bizarre.”

“Yeah, both of those actually,” Emma agreed, barking out something like a laugh again and leaning into Killian, pulling a little extra strength from him as they walked up the rest of the steps to Elsa and Anna’s house. Before they could knock though, the door flew open and there was Anna looking out of breath, as if she’d been sprinting around the house for some time.

“Aha! I knew Elsa’s hunch would be right. She mentioned that there might be guests today off handedly when she woke up, and then she said we didn’t have to clean because it was just a thought. That obviously wasn’t going to happen. Elsa knows what Elsa knows, right? Only problem is this place is so big it’s hard for just two of us, and I can never figure out how to vacuum the walls right. But it’s fine because you’re here now!”

Anna said all the words so quickly that Emma wondered if Killian and Ruby would need a translator. It was just like her friend to be going a hundred miles a minute. Her thoughts ran fast, and her tongue ran faster, that was what Elsa and Anna’s Grams had always said and she wasn’t wrong. But where others might have whiplash from the speed of that largely random monologue, Emma was totally comfortable with it. It was indication that things were as they always were here in her friends’ house, and though Emma was about to change that, she took it as a good sign that Anna immediately hugged her close in a welcoming gesture without even saying a traditional hello.

“I’m sorry, the walls?” Killian asked aloud, drawing Anna’s attention to him with the apt question. Emma watched as her friend’s eyes lit up, and she didn’t miss the way that Anna’s gaze flicked back between Emma and Killian a few times before she answered.

“Yeah. It’s like the one thing I’m not a complete disaster at,” Anna said, as if that was any kind of explanation, and Emma shared a look with Killian trying to convey that she would fill him in on Anna’s quirks and skill sets a little later. Meanwhile Ruby chuckled aloud, and Emma thought perhaps her gift made her privy to some of those images of Anna cleaning, which were, admittedly, always a riot.

“You’re never a disaster, Anna,” Elsa proclaimed from inside the house before she appeared at the doorway, looking much less windswept and out of breath than her sister. She also handled the presence of guests so differently, offering a smile and a more socially polite greeting to them all. “We were hoping to see you today, Emma. And you brought company! Hi Killian.”

“Good to see you, Elsa” Killian replied genuinely. Elsa’s smile grew at Killian’s honest enjoyment in seeing her and then her eyes moved to Ruby. Emma waited for a second to see if there would be any immediate recognition. Maybe Elsa had seen Ruby in a dream or something, but there was nothing past a mild friendliness there and Emma knew that for now Ruby was just any other person to her friend.

“Elsa, Anna, this is Killian’s cousin Ruby. She’s, uh, visiting?” Emma said, not meaning to have her inflection change so it sounded like a question, but Ruby went right ahead as if that introduction wasn’t weird and stilted at all.

“It’s really great to meet you two. I feel like I already know you guys.”

“Oh score, he’s got family! And where there’s family there’s like a million embarrassing stories and deets about how he’s going to treat our girl,” Anna said, again seeming to forget herself. After a moment she had the good sense to look a little bashful. “Oh shoot, did I say that out loud?”

“Yup,” Killian and Ruby responded at once, the latter seeming to have a lot more fun with this than the former, but Emma knew Killian had a soft spot for Anna and for Elsa. She’d watched over the past few weeks as he got to know her friends, and he’d said more than once that since they were Emma’s chosen family so to would they be his.

“What my sister probably meant to say is that it’s nice to meet you too,” Elsa said graciously. “And won’t you come in? I wouldn’t have bored you with the details, but since Anna already shared, we have in fact cleaned the house today.”

Everyone walked inside and Emma could almost imagine seeing this house for the first time again as Killian was (with Ruby it was doubtful, seeing as her gift had so much range and possibility). For Emma, this estate had always been one of the most gorgeous in Storybrooke. Anna and Elsa’s family had been some of the founding members of this town centuries ago, and they’d been old money from back in Europe well before that. At one time there’d even been a habit by some people of calling them the town royals, at least among their more jealous and less kind hearted neighbors, but that was before the tragic accident that took Anna and Elsa’s parents from them too soon. Still this house was a symbol of tradition and grace. It was old but still fresh and though it had gotten a little colder when they lost their parents, Elsa wouldn’t allow coldness to linger. She certainly could have, and Emma would have never faulted her friend for giving in to sadness, but for Anna, Elsa had always been strong. Part of that strength meant keeping this house alive and vibrant, and she’d managed to do that every day, no matter how hard it had been.

Looking around the ‘sun parlor’ (basically a fancy rich people word for sitting room with a full wall of glass windows), Emma noticed the subtle differences between their childhood version of this home and the one they were in now. Before, this place had been the epitome of prim and proper. It was still lovely, because it had been filled with the love of family, but Elsa’s mother had been meticulous in her desire to keep things as true to the original integrity of the old Victorian home as she could. Elsa, in comparison, had warmed things up. There were live plants strewn about because of Anna’s love of all things natural, and they were all blooming beautifully. There were also so many more pictures of their family and friends on the mantles and side tables. They were snapshots of happy memories, both long ago and also recent, but it never felt morbid or sad. It was a memorial and yet a living breathing tribute to the sisters now as well.

“This is a beautiful home you two have,” Killian said, showing his good manners and making Emma’s heart squeeze tightly. It was a simple compliment, but she knew both of her friends would take it as sincerely as it was meant.

“Thank you,” Elsa replied. “It’s a labor of love, but it’s always felt worth it to us.”

“You got that right,” Anna said sitting down after all of their guests were seated, and then, because she was hardly as patient as her sister, she got right down to the point. “So. What brings Killian’s mysterious cousin to our house? Emma’s got that look about her like she’s got to say something, so I’m betting it’s a doozy.”

Emma’s stomach flipped at Anna’s perceptiveness, though she should have known this would come. She was wondering what would be the best way to proceed. Emma and Ruby definitely needed to be here, as did Anna and Elsa, but though Emma would love the comfort of having Killian by her side in what could be a trying time, she wanted to make sure all parties were comfortable. This was a huge reveal to Elsa and to Anna, and though Emma knew that they loved Killian because she cared so much for him, she didn’t want anything to feel forced. As if he read her mind – whether through the mating link or through his own well-honed Emma radar – Killian squeezed her hand gently and brought it to his lips to press a gentle kiss. Then he announced his intention as their eyes still held.

“I think it might be best if I take a look around the gardens, maybe scope out this sea walk I’ve heard so much about. Would either of you mind?” Killian asked, finally turning to Emma’s friends, but they just smiled and nodded that it was fine, both of them clearly thrilled at his open affection for Emma. “I’ll be right outside should you need me, love.”

“Thank you,” Emma whispered to him before pressing a kiss to his lips and watching him slip out the door to the patio. Killian headed towards the gardens, a place where one could get lost for hours, but she was sure he wouldn’t get turned around. As a shifter, it was one of his many gifts to have that all too keen sense of direction.

“Okay that’s not fair,” Anna exclaimed, her head shaking and the braids she had in this morning following suit. “I mean seriously that man is just crazy about you. I want one!”

Emma laughed at Anna’s outburst and so did Ruby, and the slight tension that had arisen felt like it dwindled considerably. Still Emma could see that her friend, though honest, was also doing this on purpose. It might be Elsa who was a once in a generation witch, but now that Emma knew of magic and of the magic that ran in this family, she was absolutely certain Anna had gifts of her own. Perhaps they were more hidden or subdued, but they were definitely there. Elsa had always been the one with dreams that were uncannily accurate, but Anna had a way of knowing people and situations just like this one.

“Not to worry, Anna. You’ll definitely find someone,” Ruby said and though it could have been construed as a harmless comment, Anna’s eyebrows rose and her smile widened.

“Oh my gosh, you see stuff too don’t you?!” Anna exclaimed, practically squealing. “I know you do! That’s the same face Elsa makes when she has a dream. Now you have to tell us what the hell is going on!”

“You good with that, Emma?” Ruby asked and Emma nodded, moving to sit with Elsa and Anna on the couch as Ruby told them all that she knew.

Though Emma had heard most of this already, it was another experience entirely to have this conversation with Elsa and Anna present. Ruby was giving a basic 101 run down of magic and the supernatural world. Since humanity itself was formed, so to had magic been living and breathing on this earth. Many people in the know considered magic to be another of the elements that people were more familiar with. It was an essence and an energy that always came from nature somehow, but it manifested in many ways. Sometimes it took the form of witches or clairvoyants, and other times it could be seen in other supernatural beings. Ruby hadn’t mentioned shifters specifically yet, focusing instead on what was truly pertinent to Elsa and Anna, but Emma felt completely compelled by what they discovered too. It was still so new and so amazing that conceiving all of this could be real was a challenge.

The element of magic, it turned out, was all around to those who know how to wield it. For witches and warlocks and other spell-casting peoples, magic was a gift mostly held by families that originated from different hubs of magical influence. Long ago there were places on earth where magic was far more present than others. Ruby listed a few off the cuff: portions of the Amazon, oases in the Sahara, islands off of current day Malaysia and more. As such, the people who came from those areas were exposed to a very rich natural spirit for millennia. That spirit was then internalized by more sensitive families, and then, even if they left, the gift of magical ability was transferred with them.

“My family was from Ireland originally,” Ruby explained, drawing a pendant that she had that didn’t look so dissimilar from the one of Killian’s that Emma had found. As she did so, a breeze swept through the room but it was contained, gentle, warm, and well… wonderful. It smelled sweet, like the fresh bloom of wild flowers, and as Emma looked at the light swirling in the room, she could see these sort of spiritual etchings dancing in the wind of feathers, leaves, and, as one might expect with the scent, petals. “It was just a tiny Celtic town to the south of the Isle, but according to the diaries that all of the women in my family kept, there was a spring there where magic flowed freely. It was their job to protect the spring, but eventually it dried up and so they moved here.”

“This is… it’s impossible. But it’s real,” Elsa said, her fingertips trying to trace some of Ruby’s magic as it flittered through the air. As she toyed with the magic in the air, her whole being was overcome with an undeniable excitement. There wasn’t any trace of the fear she expected. If anything Elsa looked totally free to believe in something amazing and all consuming. “Magic has been real along. Just like Grams always said. I thought she was teasing, or maybe giving us something beautiful to dream of. I never thought… but it’s always been here. I can feel it now.”

“It has,” Ruby replied, her own joy at seeing Elsa experience this growing more and more by the second.

“You said the spring dried up?” Anna asked, continuing the trend that had emerged of her being the one to ask questions that all of them were thinking. “Did something happen?”

“No, it was just nature taking its course,” Ruby said, pulling back her magical display so the room was as it had been. “It was a couple hundred years ago, and then they came here, or rather, to America, hoping to find a new place to call home. The witches in my family bounced around a little bit before moving further out west. Magic loves forests and the untouched spaces of nature, and as the world has changed, so too have the places that magic likes best.”

“Can wi- wi…” Elsa faltered over the words, still clearly grappling with the new information she was hearing about herself. “Can people who access magic turn into animals by any chance? Like maybe wolves?”

“Let me guess, lots of wolf dreams have been happening since Killian came?” Ruby asked, feeling like she already knew the answer.

“Yes,” Elsa hedged. “But they’ve been around a long time. Since that day in Boston…” Elsa looked to Emma and now, finally, Emma felt like she could jump in for a bit.

“The wolves from that night are more than I ever thought they were. They are not animals, but magical people who can transform their shape. They’re called shifters,” Emma explained. “Not all shifters are wolves, but that night when I was attacked it was a rogue wolf who came after me and another rogue wolf who saved me.”

“You were attacked?!” Anna exclaimed, somehow more worried about that than the fact that Emma was telling her that people could turn into giant animals or that witchcraft was real. “And you knew, Elsa?”

“I’m sorry, Anna, I should have told you but…”

“But I made her promise not to,” Emma said, explaining the story as quickly as she could and filling in on how Elsa had been there. She’d had a dream that brought her to the city, but for a long long time they’d all just considered it this mental break. It couldn’t have been real, but now they knew it truly was. “But what I didn’t realize then is that the shifter was Killian.”

“Holy shit, your Killian?!” Anna asked, completely losing herself in the reveal before looking to Ruby. “Killian’s a wolf? That’s so awesome! So are you a wolf too then? I thought you were a witch.”

“Guilty on both counts,” Ruby said with a grin. “It’s very rare, but witches and shifters can be mates and when they are you end up with hybrids like me.”

“Oh my God mates, that sounds so… hot!” Anna said, play fanning herself as she heard. Emma couldn’t help but let out a laugh at her friend’s antics, but she continued to search Anna’s demeanor to see if she was really okay with all she was finding out or if there was more to this. Anna seemed so completely on board, and Emma wondered how that could be.

“But you said the wolf that saved you, sorry, Killian, you said he was all black right? Like midnight. And the attacker was more tan?”

“Yeah. Like a dull colored sand, why?”

“The one I’ve been dreaming of is lighter than just a pure black,” Elsa said, her confusion clearly gnawing at her.

“Let me guess, dark gray coat, that gets darker at the paws.”

“Yes,” Elsa said, her desire to know who it was winning out. “You know him?”

“It’s Liam,” Ruby confessed, and then, realizing that neither Elsa nor Anna recognized the name, she filled them in. “Killian’s brother.”

“Oh my God, so Elsa is dreaming about Killian’s brother?” Anna asked, looking almost giddy. “Wait that’s a good thing right?”

“It’s complicated,” Ruby said, deflating Anna somewhat, though Elsa seemed to already know that was the case. “And honestly, that part of all of this can wait a while longer. I think you guys will face enough today just hearing your story.”

“So you know about us then,” Elsa asked without the inflection of a real question. “You’re going to tell us about our family?”

“There’s no need for that. They can tell you themselves.”

Silence greeted Ruby’s statement, and it was one of the first times that Emma had ever seen Anna stunned into quiet like this. The pain in her friend’s eyes was mingled with a soul crushing hope, and Emma could understand it. Ruby hadn’t given her too many details, but from what she had said every old family of magic had a repository somewhere with stories and spells and all other kinds of things. It was passed down from generation to generation, and Emma assumed it would be like in the movies where there was a giant book written kind of like a diary.

“How?” Elsa asked, her voice coming out stronger than Emma would have ever imagined as she took Anna’s hand and squeezed it tight and then used her other hand to hold onto Emma.

“There’s a room in this house that no one knows about. There’s a hidden door. That’s where the answers are.”

“A hidden door?” Elsa asked, confused. “We don’t have anything like that. If we did we’d have found it by now.”

“One of you has,” Ruby said, looking to Anna with a soft smile. “You just haven’t remembered in a long time.”

At the words a spark of recollection appeared in Anna’s expression, and Emma knew her friend was working through the recesses of her mind trying to figure out exactly when that happened and where she’d found it. After a moment her eyes lit up and she jumped from the couch.

“It’s out back in the green house. But there was nothing there. Just a bunch of old herbs and dried up plants…”

“There’s a hatch door to a lower level somewhere. It won’t take long for you to find it. I can’t see what’s down there – there are blood protection spells meaning only your family can access that space, but there should be a box there. It’s blue and has your family crest. Inside there are jewels, crystals, and precious stones. They’ll tell the story if you two unlock them.”

“I’m sorry, so the stones are going to… talk to us?” Elsa asked.

“You’ll see,” Ruby said, offering a smile as Anna jumped up.

“We have to go,” Anna said, reaching back for Elsa’s hand. “We have to go right now.”

“All right, all right,” Elsa said, still not looking like she fully believed it. “Emma?”

“I think it would be best if you two did this yourselves,” Emma said, trying to hold back tears as she came to stand up with her friends.

“But you’re our sister, too” Anna said, immediately agreeing with Elsa and Emma swallowed back a lump in her throat.

“Always have been and always will be. But this… it’s your legacy and it’s a part of you guys that I think deserves the utmost care. Plus we don’t know how this blood spell thing works yet. I might not be able to go in at all. But I’ll be right here if you need me. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise?” Anna and Elsa asked at the same time, and Emma nodded, extending her pinky to them both and twisting tightly when they extended theirs.

“Promise.”

With that, Elsa and Anna headed out to the green house, leaving Ruby and Emma alone for pretty much the first time since Granny and Ruby arrived. It should have been a strange or awkward time, but Emma found it comfortable despite the circumstances. She and Ruby discussed a number of things about magic and about what her friends would find. They were going to be blessed today, not just with their story, but with their story told by their mother and their grandmother. Ruby might not be able to see the story, but she could feel those spirits being close. Ruby explained that it was possible to infuse sound and images into precious gems, and she had a few from her family that had always meant a lot to her. But at one point, after a bit of time discussing this new life changing moment for her friends, Killian caught Emma’s attention. He was outside and in wolf form along the tree line, looking back at the house, or more precisely at her.

“I’ve never seen Killian like this before, so happy and centered,” Ruby mused aloud, her eyes looking towards Killian as she smiled with pride and real joy. “Even when we were kids and his Mom was still here, he was always quiet and always just a little more reserved than me or the other pack pups.”

“I can’t imagine what it must have been like, growing up the way he and Liam did. The way you did, in that pack run by their father. Was it hard when they left?”

“Almost as hard as losing Liam,” Ruby confessed, her expression turning somber and remorseful. Emma wondered if Killian could hear them, but at this distance she thought it was probably doubtful. “But we have the future. I’m afraid to say anything for certain, but it doesn’t feel as menacing right now as it did before. I was panicked when I could sense Liam again, but I still see things. Good things. Things happening years down the way. I have to believe they’ll really happen. You’re going to make them happen.”

“Me?” Emma asked, shocked that she would have any sort of role. “But I’m just a human.”

“Maybe,” Ruby said, not sounding fully convinced, “But even if you’re human, Emma, you’re special. You bring out the best in Killian. You mean the world to Anna and Elsa. You have a light in you. It’s not magic per se, at least I don’t think, but it’s something, and I know it’s important. It might just be the most important thing any of us has to offer.”

Emma thanked Ruby quietly, flattered at the compliment, but unable to respond in any meaningful way because at that precise moment her phone began to ring. She’d been so unplugged for days that Emma was surprised she’d even brought it with her, but the tell tale sign of her mother’s ring tone told Emma that patience had finally run thin for Mary Margaret Nolan. Strangely that was of huge comfort to Emma, and before she so much as greeted her mother, she had a pretty good idea of where this conversation was going to go.

“Hi Mom,” Emma said, thinking about what the proper tactic was for this exchange.

In a regular situation she would apologize for being off the grid. It had been days since she spoke with anyone in her family, and that was not normal for them. But she wasn’t actually sorry for all that had happened the past few days, and Emma also knew that though her mother always meant well, she had a real knack for taking harmless statements and making them a little more innuendo packed than was strictly comfortable.

“Oh Emma, honey, you know I love you, and God knows I love Anna and Elsa nearly as much, but would it be too much for you to call your parents when finally surfacing after days and days away? We miss you.”

“I miss you too, Mom. And sorry about the delay. Things are kind of happening over here. It’s, uh, unexpected.”

“Well surprise guests will do that to you.”

“How did you know about that?” Emma asked, slightly afraid that her mother was going to rehash some truly crazy series of informants, but what she actually heard surprised her even more.

“Easy, I’m having lunch with Granny right now.”

“You’re what?!” Emma asked at the same time Ruby said, “She’s what?!” Well, look at that, even a surprise for the all-seeing Ruby. For a second Emma wondered how she’d heard what her mother said on the phone, and then she remembered Ruby had shifter hearing. She was going to have to get used to that.

“I know! It’s the wildest thing. We just happened to meet at the diner – she was questioning the integrity of the lasagna after ordering it, a good indicator of a person’s character as you know - and we got to talking.” Emma smiled at one of her mother’s strange marks of a person, but it wasn’t the first time she’d heard this bit about the lasagna. “I can’t imagine how you must be feeling, Emma. First you find out your true love is a shifter and then you find out your best friends have a magical bloodline -,”

“Mom!” Emma yelled into the phone interrupting her. “You can’t go around saying things like that. Someone could hear you.”

“Emma, I’m at home,” her mother said in a slightly chastising voice, surprising Emma yet again. “Do you really think I’d be so careless? Besides, I can keep a secret you know.”

If someone had said that to Emma even a month ago she would laugh in their face. Mary Margaret Nolan keeping a secret? Yeah right. It was not her style, but that assumption had been proved wrong. She’d kept mum about shifters for years, and in doing so she’d proven that it was possible for her to not give away a private confidence. “I thought you said you were having lunch at the diner.”

“No, I said we met at the diner. I ended up convincing her to come here. Because again, that lasagna is questionable at best. She’s a funny one though, won’t let me call her anything but Granny. But I like her.”

“You realize she’s a shifter too, right? She can hear you.”

“She could hear me if she were human; she’s sitting right in front of me.”

Emma heard Granny say hello in the background and at the same time Ruby came closer and said hello herself. This could have started a whole big conversation, since her mother was clearly curious about Killian’s cousin, but Emma redirected to get some better answers.

“So did you know about Anna and Elsa all this time too?” Emma asked, hating to think this might have been yet another secret between she and her parents. Before they died, Elsa and Anna’s mother and father were good friends of Emma’s parents. But it would be a little strange that they would tell them and not their children about their family legacy.

“Oh no, honey, Granny told me. Gigi never confided in me about any of that, not that I’d ever blame her after the incident where I accidentally told you girls her real name.”

Emma felt a giggle bubble up at that memory. Yes she remembered that day. It wasn’t every day you heard the name ‘Gerda,’ and Anna and Elsa had gone bonkers over the big reveal. They’d been fixated on it for weeks, months even.

“I’m sure Gigi had all sorts of plans for how she wanted Anna and Elsa to hear all of this,” Mary Margaret said, her voice sounding out with more than a touch of sadness for her old friend. “But things happen that we can’t control. And I’m just glad that the girls are getting the chance to learn who they really are now.  And it’s so amazing! I knew about shifters – your father told me that you know everything now so you know how that went – but magic… well it’s just so exciting, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” Emma said, letting out a steady breath. “Exciting would be a good word to describe the last few days.”

“Exactly, and with so much going on and so much left to talk about, I think it’s only right that everyone come to the house for dinner. I have to meet Ruby, and I want to check in on Elsa and Anna, but most of all I want to make sure my new son-in-law knows what’s what.”

“Mom,” Emma said with a blush growing over her cheeks before lowering her voice as quietly as she could while still being heard on the other end of the call. “We’re not married.”

“Ha! Maybe not yet, but don’t think a wedding is not already in the works. This mating thing sounds lovely. Your Aunt Gwen told me a bit about it a few years back. It’s like this great big love that means more than any simple ceremony can ever express, but every princess deserves a wedding and you’re darn well going to have one.”

Emma didn’t even have time to groan before Killian approached, stepping into view at the patio door with an intense look in his blue eyes. “I couldn’t agree more.”

Well this was fun. Apparently he could hear her phone calls and from quite a bit of distance away. Emma was doing all she could to not die of embarrassment, but the only thing getting her through was the look on Killian’s face that said he truly did love her and was planning for forever together. It wasn’t like her mother had picked this idea out of nowhere. Clearly Killian felt the same about them getting married, even if they hadn’t gotten there yet.

“Okay well can we table that talk for now, please? There’s more than enough to keep us busy in the meantime,” Emma begged, not wanting to state the obvious aloud – there should be no wedding being planned since Killian hadn’t exactly asked her to get married.

“Absolutely, but we will see you all at seven. Pass on the invite to Anna and Elsa.”

“Tonight?” Emma asked, wondering if it was a good idea. “I don’t know, Mom. They just found everything out, they might need some time -,”

“We don’t need time,” Anna said, drawing everyone’s attention to the doorway where she and Elsa were standing. The sisters were holding hands again, and it was clear there had been some tears shed as they went through their family’s things, but both of them still looked happy. Emma imagined there must be so much relief even though there was the sadness of looking to the past, and with a silent nod between her and Elsa, her friend conveyed that to her as Anna continued. “What we need is some really good chicken parm. I’m talking pasta for days, the good imported cheese your Mom gets in Boston, and that home made sauce even magic couldn’t replicate.”

Everyone laughed at that, and since Emma had automatically put the call on speakerphone when Anna and Elsa came out, her mother took the initiative and replied herself. She had all of those ingredients, and she would see to it that Anna and Elsa’s favorite meal was made and ready. With that, Emma hung up on the call, and she looked first to Killian, finding his eyes shining with so much love. She held onto that, and then looked quickly to Elsa, needing to know that her friend was all right.

“Are you sure this is okay? It’s a lot to reconcile and it’s all happening very fast.”

“Fast is the way things move these days,” Elsa said with a smile that was small but also true. She looked at Emma and at Killian, nodding whether she consciously knew it or not. “And so far that seems to be a good thing. We’re not different people because of what we know now. I’m no different than I was before.”

“No, you’re not,” Emma said gladly, watching Elsa exhale a ragged breath as Ruby chimed in.

“You’ve just got some cool new abilities,” Ruby said cheerily. “And now that you guys unlocked your family secrets I can see so much more, for you and for Anna.”

“You too?” Emma asked, finding herself filled with excitement for her friend. For once Anna looked a little sheepish, something Emma had never noticed her friend experiencing before, but she acknowledged the unexpected surprise.

“Yup. Visions might not be my thing, but according to Grams messages and some of Mom’s too there’s a lot in store for me as well. But for now let’s put all of that on ice. I wasn’t kidding when I said I needed that chicken parm, because honey, it has been a day.”

Everyone could readily agree with that assessment, and in the interest of honoring her friends’ wishes, Emma held back on questions about what came next and what they had learned. Soon enough her friends would tell her. It was always just a matter of time before they shared everything with each other, and whenever that came Emma would be more than willing to listen and learn.

“How are you doing, love?” Killian asked a few moments later, when they’d all decided to head outside together to the beach walk. Elsa and Anna were talking with Ruby about summers in Storybrooke, and Emma watched at how a solid friendship was forming between them already, her heart filled with happiness as her family and Killian’s blended together.

“I’m good,” Emma said, looking to Killian and seeing his concern and affection, shining as brightly as the sun in the sky this lovely summer day. “Better with you here.”

“I feel I could say that in any moment,” Killian agreed, stopping their stroll and pulling her into his embrace. “Any instance is improved with you beside me.”

“Guess we better stick together then,” Emma teased and she delighted in the growl from Killian as his mouth claimed hers in a fierce and hungry kiss. It was impossible not to get swept away in it, her hands roaming, her body arching for closeness as she tasted him and reveled in the heat and charge between them. But before they could take things way too far given their setting, Killian pulled back and pressed his forehead to hers gently.

“Forever, Emma. That’s how long we’ll have each other.”

“Forever,” she agreed.

With that, the two of them rejoined her friends and Ruby, finding themselves enjoying a weirdly normal afternoon in the midst of so much change and transformation. And though Emma was a bit preoccupied with the idea of dinner at her parents tonight, she knew, deep down, that whatever may come she would always have Killian, and the two of them together would always make it through.

Post-Note: So there we have it. Truth be told I have SO many thoughts and ideas about Elsa and Anna’s magical reveal. I would love to write a whole scene from their POV about that, adding the layers of magic I have imagined for this story and giving their experience with the big change in their lives. Unfortunately I don’t really have time to create that chapter, at least not yet. I am debating, however, adding some extra scenes and glimpses into this story when I have the whole thing done. That being said, I have only managed to get a couple of chapters written before my school year, so it’s looking like it’s definitely going to be summer before this whole story is told. As of right now I am looking to move to a monthly posting schedule. I have this chapter, one for February and one for March all written, and I am hoping I might find a bit of time in the next three months to craft together a chapter for April, God willing. Anyway, I would love to hear what you all think, and rest assured there will be some more CS moments in the chapter next time. There’s still a lot of stuff that has to happen, so we aren’t getting full blown fluff for a while, but I trust you guys will still like the story all the same. Thanks so much for reading and hope you have a great rest of your weekend!

Tag list: @jennjenn615 @winterbaby89 @kmomof4 @teamhook @ultraluckycatnd @resident-of-storybrooke @coliferoncer @artistic-writer @snowbellewells @eastside-divebar @snarkycaptainswan4 @allofdafandoms-blog

#captain swan #captain swan fic #captain swan ff #captain swan au #cs fic #cs ff #cs fluff #cs #cs au #cs mc #emma swan #killian jones #the whole storybrooke gang #elsa and anna #ruby and granny #human!emma #shifter!killian #lost souls #lost souls au #lost souls 13 #CSSNS #captain swan supernatural summer #the summer fic that lasts forever

[klance-fic-central]

My Top 10 Favorite Klance Fics

So, I promised this a week ago for hitting 200 followers, then thanksgiving hit and while I was at home I have gained almost 200 more followers. Welcome to all of you new beautiful people and I apologize for the delay on this and answering asks. I’m working on the asks that I have and I’m going to post them after I finish finals. So, if someone wants to ask for recommendations, do it now and I’ll answer them all in two weeks.

This list will be in reverse order so my favorite fic is on the bottom. All of these works are amazing and if you haven't seen one, I HIGHLY recommend you read them. A lot of them have been recommended on here before, but this list will contain works that are in progress because I love them so much. Well anyway, here’s my top 10 favorite klance fics. 

10) From Across the Platform | By: foxsmouler | Ongoing | 107,008 words | Mature 

On one seemingly normal day, on his commute to work, Keith notices a rather eccentric-looking guy across the way on the opposite platform, they make awkward eye-contact and suddenly everything in Keith's life changes. Keith doesn't like change.

A.K.A a story about how Keith reluctantly learns to have faith in mankind again.

Notes: 

This fic is almost entirely fluff and its the greatest when you just want something sweet instead of angst. Its a modern fic and is worth the read when you need a pick me up. A lot of the later chapters, I feel, can be read as one shots. So, if you find that you want to stop reading its easy to do. 

9) Dear Keith | By: Redjay27 | Completed | 71,995 words | Teen & Up Audiences

Keith receives a mysterious note in the mail. There's nothing written on the envelope but his name. When he reads it he learns of some guy named Lance who is writing to Keith to tell him the story of how he messed everything up. Lance is distraught after he is left all alone after his big screw up. To ease the pain, he writes a letter to a made up person...or so he thought. Keith was just a name he picked randomly but when mysterious drawings start appearing in his dorm room, depicting scenes that he's written about, he starts to think Keith might not be just a figment of his imagination.

Notes: 

I love this fic, but had one problem with it. I wasn't a big fan of the epilogue, like at all. If you read everything, but the epilogue its a fantastic piece, but because of the epilogue that's why it’s a little lower on this list. Don’t get me wrong, I love it, just didn't like that epilogue. 

8) Web of Sins | By: charlotteXOyates | Ongoing | 70,791 words | Explicit 

Stripper!Lance AU: Keith is a hardworking college student who is devoted to spending all of his time studying to become a pediatrician; so it sounds ridiculous to him when Shiro and Matt suggest he's working TOO hard. After a bit of peer pressuring, they finally convince Keith to check out a gay strip club called "The Web of Sins" in order to relieve his stress.

At first he goes just to make them happy, but upon meeting a seductive young man who just so happens to be the club's most popular stripper named Lance, he begins to get drawn into the Web. Only, Keith has no idea what sort of demons lie hidden in the twilight that is Lance's past...and he has no idea how closely they follow.

Your mistakes create a web of sins around you, and once you're too caught in it...you can never escape.

...not on your own, that is.

WARNING: This fic starts out relatively light-hearted and cute, but if you didn't look at the tags(you should ALWAYS look at the tags), let me warn you now that stuff will get significantly darker, eventually. I promise that none of the dark stuff is ever glorified; this is not a kinky story. This is a story of two boys trying to overcome the dark past, together.

Notes: 

So, this is an ongoing fic not a lot of people know about and its so flipping good. The first part just finished up, but this fic has so much potential and I just know that the author is gonna do an amazing job with this. It’s one of those really good smut with plot stories that are actually insanely good.

7)

Kadochrome

| By:

HoddieMaine

&

Ninke_A

| Completed | 55,526 words | Explicit Keith has been at a loss for a while now. His job is terrible, his passion for photography has waned, and his pseudo brother has moved to some little town and keeps insisting he visit.

Notes: 

Fluff fluff fluff fluff fluff with a little tiny bit of angst. 

6) There’s Trust in These Wings | By: zeerogue | Ongoing | 134,258 words | Explicit 

For generations the Ice Masters of Altea and the Fire Masters of Ko-gane had been warring over the lands that divided them until a new enemy in the west rose to power. Uncertain of their chances fighting two wars at once, a treaty is made to end the battle between Masters and have them join as allies. And what better way to become allies than through marriage. Keith trusts Prince Shiro's choice in marrying the Altean heir, and if anything was to go wrong, he has sworn to protect the third Ko prince, but the Alteans seem to be more dangerous in diplomacy than they ever were on the battlefield. Luckily, Princess Allura has a protector of her own who might be the only ally Keith has in his new home. Even if he is insufferable.

Notes: 

This is such an amazing story. It’s ongoing, but its 100% worth reading as it’s released. 

5) A Cradle of Flesh and Bone | By: bffimagine | Completed | 70,773 words | Mature

He was born with a misshapen, malformed heart. They tried to fix it, but the complications left him with the kinds of scars that meant he wasn't expected to survive until his thirtieth birthday. He's still got dreams--one day, he would be a doctor--but someone has to give up their heart for him to make it. Sure, he was sick, but he wasn't down and he certainly wasn't out for the count.

At least, not yet.

-----

Keith Kogane was the star of Altea University's medical school. He was destined to be the greatest surgeon of his generation, and probably for generations to come.

Well, until he dropped out, anyway.

Notes: 

All I can say is, keep tissues next to you as you read this, you’ll need them. 

4) Hearts Dont Break Around Here | By: klancekorner | Ongoing | 51,714 words | Mature

Keith chuckles softly at Lance’s faded face in the old photo. He was still a little chubby, couldn’t be more than eleven years old, but nevertheless had his arms slung over the shoulders of two pretty, giggling girls. The smug grin on his face is dazzling. Keith wonders how Lance, to this day, manages to make it look so believable.

--

Or, Lance and Keith have been best friends since first grade. Lance’s brain is always on overdrive and Keith’s blunt, realistic ass can never keep up. They both come to realize that sometimes you can learn a lot about loving yourself by loving someone else.

Notes: 

LET ME TELL YOU, you have to read this. If there is one fic that I would tell you to seriously read, its this one or Lion’s Chain. That’s all I’m gonna say, go read it and you’ll see why it’s this high on this list. You will not be disappointed. 

3) Follow My Lead | By: klancekorner | Completed | 114,261 words | Mature

Becoming “hook-up buddies” with Lance Sanchez was just supposed to be a small, insignificant fraction of Keith’s life. But of course, things don’t work out that way at all.

aka a Friends w/ Benefits AU that nobody asked for where Lance wears sleeveless hoodies, plays basketball in abandoned parking lots, and follows his dreams, and Keith comes from a high class, reputable family who never let him have any dreams of his own. They go home with each other and don't expect it to matter until it totally does.

Keith POV and Lance POV

Notes: 

This fic, my lord, I have sinned. This is easily the greatest smut with plot fic out there and at this point I’m sure many of you have read this. Honestly, I almost put it in the number two spot, but I didn’t only because I read Let Me Catch My Breath first, that is literally the only reason. It’s a modern AU with rich boy Keith and aspiring Basketball player Lance. God the heartbreak is real. Klancekorner you are the goddess of fanfiction in my eyes, keep it up. <3

2) Let Me Catch My Breath | By: Smiles4Voltron | Completed | 228,919 Words | Mature

So, Lance has to fight five champions of an alien race to save Keith- wouldn't sound too hard if he wasn't blind from an injury at that very moment. Oh, and did he mention that if he doesn't defeat the five then Keith is given to them like some prize? Some delicious little prize that they will most likely do whatever they please with?

Left to fend for themselves, blinded and injured, two unlikely Paladins must work together to survive. Tensions get high with horrid creatures, a determined assassinator, and their growing attraction to the other. So, both a frustrating tension and sexual one, huh? Or could you consider those the same thing?

Notes: 

So, this was one of my first Klance stories. I joined the fandom in like February this year and this was one of the first fics I read. Obviously it holds a special place in my heart, but it’s a beautiful piece. Its a crash landing scenario on an alien planet gone wrong in my opinion and its great. 

1) Lion’s Chain | By: Luna_Vulpes | Ongoing | 241,680 words | Teen & Up Audiences

Keith is returning from deployment overseas, officially released from duty in the military. However, his first stop back in the states isn’t the place he expected to be - the funeral of his military partner Miguel McClain. There he meets Lance, the younger brother of the fallen soldier, along with the other grieving members of the McClain family. Unsure of the next steps in his life and unable to separate his military and civilian life, Keith looks to the one place he can even consider home - the family Miguel loved and left behind.

Using group therapy, meeting new people, and becoming closer with the McClain family, Keith tries to put his life back together and live past the tragedy of losing his best friend. In turn, he grows a bond with Lance and realizes that maybe Miguel was right along - the two seemed made for each other.

Notes: 

This is my favorite fic for many reasons. The writing is beautiful, but the best part about it is the journey. The emotions this fic will make you feel and just the journey this author takes these characters on is a fantastic one. This is one of those fics I see update and I drop everything I’m doing. It’s worth the wait for each new chapter and god I just love it so much. 

#Voltron #Voltron legendary defender #fanfics #fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfiction recommendations #fanfic recommendation #klance fic #LMCMB #Lions chain #Follow My lead #HDBAH #Klance #Laith #fluff #angst #top 10

[barbecuedphoenix]

I'm the one who requested the guardian being glad for the potion; I fucking love it, you're amazing.

*blows kiss back to the Anon* 

Angst is all in a day’s work my dear. All in a day’s work.;) 

Actually,I should be thanking you for sending that particular request: synapses juststarted firing on reading the words ‘bad life’ + ‘potion stunt’ + ‘doesn’treally need to return’. It was a plot-twist that was too good to pass up. :D

Tostart with, it’s very expedient for the storyline to start with. It settles thequestion of the MC returning home early on, and in a peaceable way, therefore removingthat as a sub-plot in later episodes to focus on the world conflict andrelationship-building. This type of scenario would also foster a deeper bondbetween the MC and her sentencers love interests (i.e. overcomingtragedy together is actually a good time for a dramatic first kiss), butwithout first driving a massive wedge of distrust andresentment between them. Sudden sharp stings of betrayal are tempting forwriters of a story that evolves per episode, but there’s a fine line betweenwriting a full-force drama and a relationship-building story. In the end, most humanbrains recognize that corkscrewing relationship dramas aren’t very viable inreal life, and with too much of it, they lose the suspension of disbelief andthe ability to identify/self-insert with the story.

Contraryto belief, a voluntarily-accepted potion won’t undermine a fantasy tale that seemsto revolve around the consequences of world-jumping. Making the MC genuinely reluctantto return home would be an interesting twist to the stock fantasy tropes of ‘thedisplaced human is driven by homesickness’ and ‘there’s no place better thanhome’, and open up an entirely new level of plot-development of how she’llcreate a new life for herself in an alien realm (which is not in fact worsethan what the human realm can give her). Not to mention that it’s good fodderfor the imaginations of role-players and self-insert fans (“what would I belike if I really had to live in the faery realm for the long-haul?”) For bothadults and young adults (on their way out of high school to the scary adultworld), the theme of moving past tragedies, making a personal transformation, andbuilding a life for themselves it in an entirely unfamiliar place through sheergrit would resonate in a powerful way, and perhaps even inspire them.

Theconflict that the game seems to be building up between the humans, faeliens,and faeries could still be pursued even with this twist to Episode 13’s potionbusiness. The Guardian automatically feels sympathy for fellow humans andfaeliens, and with the voluntary loss of her own roots, can still be driven totry to protect the latter parties’ interests in the faery realm out of a senseof species solidarity (and lingering homesickness). Especially if she learns that the Guard of El aren’t saints in the way they treat the humans they deem ‘hostile’ (as she would know from Episode 1 & 2). Speaking as someone now livingoutside the country I was raised in, I can tell you that the more of your rootsyou seem to lose, the more powerfully you are drawn to people with a commonbackground, whether or not you actually enjoyedthe place you grew up in or even get along with your countrymen– it’s pure pack instinct. 

Onthe other hand, the MC’s relations with the faeries in return won’t be definednow by lingering distrust and ‘their quest for forgiveness and redemption’ (which,though dramatic, is actually a bit limiting in exploring interpersonalrelations), but by how they’re worried now about her fully integrating intotheir lives after taking the final dive to join them (which is more realisticand open-ended; that’s the riddle of all long-terms relationships). I don’tthink I need to mention that pursuing a relationship withEzarel/Nevra/Valkyon/Leiftan will feel less bitter for some players if thepotion was a voluntary affair on the MC’s part. But what I will say is that avoluntary stay in the faery realm doesnot necessarily dictate a happy ending. Integrating two very differentlives to start fresh together sounds positive on the onset, but anyone who’sseen long-term relationships knows that that’s still a huge challenge:conflicts of interest, divergent views, and misunderstandings are rife in years-long relationships betweenpeople of very different backgrounds. Especially if one of them made the biggersacrifice that they can’t rescind. So a more low-key, organic conflictbetween the lovebirds in this way can still catalyze strong sympathies with thehuman rebels in the game. At its worst, if the MC starts to feel trulyalienated from their faery friends/lover, they’ll feel serious regret at voluntarily sacrificing their roots, and emotionallywill be driven to seek out the human rebels. (Pseudo-)marriage drama reallysells; just ask novelists and screenwriters from a variety of genres.

Froma character development standpoint, the MC’s own less-than-stellar lifeexperiences to date would add more color and more of a survivor’s mindset toher own reactions throughout the game. She won’t simply be a reincarnation ofthe ‘naïve heroine’ trope in otome games, but something else entirely– like ajaded, modern Cinderella with a spine– that *would* set Eldarya apart as a game geared to an audience of more mature teens andabove. The MC/Erika will likely get even more of a personal fanbase fromplayers; she sorely needs it.

Theguys themselves will also receive some major character development that’ll garner abetter reception among the audience: from how they’re reluctant to make a hugeethical transgression when it’s actually an unexpected source of relief forsomeone with a miserable life. It’s a moral conundrum that can be a tear-jerkerinstead of a hot-button-for-hate: do something terrible out of kindness, andfeel intense responsibility for the recipient’s welfare, even though they’rehappy. Thus, the guys won’t be seen as toadies of El employees with a problematicsense of loyalty to the Guard, but a type of provider and (seriouslyambivalent) benefactor with more intimate emotional ties to the MC.

Inshort, there is a huge amount ofpotential for non-divisive, but still ambitious plot-crafting, character development, and relationship-building with the simple twists of a.) making the MC’s home-life reallymiserable, and b.) having her volunteer willingly for a permanent life in Eldarya.This is why I was more than happy to offer you a nice, detailed, 3-part scenario, Anon. ;) 

Edit: Now putting this under ‘Analyses/Headcanons’ in the Master List. Because I spent way to much time on this mini-diatribe to leave it as a ‘reader response’. >_>   

#reader response #Eldarya #general! Guardian #Ezarel #Nevra #Valkyon #analysis #headcanon

[typologycentral]

[Fi] Bloody Fi purge! Your inferior cousin needs some dominant and auxiliary guidance.

To preface: I love you XNFPs and unbeknownst to me, always have. For one, it's been edifying and validating to see some of my all-time favorite humans (writers, musicians, actors, thinkers, etc...) being typed as XNFP. Even before learning about typology and gaining a deeper understanding of Jungian cognitive functions, I was actively working on (what I now know to be) Fi development because a lack of it had reaped much unnecessary hardship onto my life. Therefore, I think that conscientious journey led me to people that embodied their Fi with vigor and authenticity and helped me get in touch with my own, for which I am eternally grateful. And now on to the issue at hand (this is a long read but I'm trying to give relatively detailed information that might help you to help me): For a little under a decade, since high school, I've had an on and off, pseudo-platonic, quasi-romantic, eternal soulmate, occasional f-buddy relationship with this ebullient, effervescent, deeply insightful, dreamy eyed, pixie warrior priestess (INFP) that, in my relatively short life, has always stood a mile apart from the "Gone Girl/Cersei Lannister/Elle Driver/Cookie Lyon/Harley Quinn/Akasha, Queen of the Damned" fare I've usually attracted [strike]...and been equally attracted to[/strike]. Our first interaction was a classroom debate turned bloodstained duel to the death over the ethics of eating animals (I swear on the atom, this is not a utilization of an NFP stereotype lol). Something clicked (energy + angst + lust + social isolation + troubled pasts), and from there, this happened > I'd never before intimately known someone who had the chasm of incongruously layered emotionality she possessed--ostensibly she experienced feelings in a plethora of shades from eggshell, hunter green, and cobalt blue to neon yellow and not only that, could verbalize them as such. Meanwhile, I only had ready access to basic black, white, red (all degrees of rage), grey, and at my best, a metallic gold. Though wholly confounding, maddening and taxing to me, I had never felt more woke and unchained and set free. It was intoxicating to experience a wider array, a more diverse palette of feelings. I obviously never reached her depths, patterns and colors, but even experiencing a trifle more than I was previously accustomed to felt like a massive, tectonic plate moving, internal shift. She saw me shed an actual, solitary tear once under extreme duress but in better times, just by staring into my eyes and smiling on a whim she could easily make me mist up with soul purifying relief, which was a gargantuan, almost incomprehensible feat for lesser mortals and I truly honestly never before felt so connected to someone on a level that was nigh impossible to articulate in a rational way. And particularly when she was sad and grieving (probably because of me), which often left me feeling inadequate because I was too emotionally dumb and powerless to effectively help--which, in and of itself, beset me with very real, very potent, personal "trigger" landmines. Especially back then, I neither spoke of nor experienced emotions with great affect. I understood them cognitively and intellectually, but to actually engage them with my "heart" felt like a blind man wading neck-deep in cement. My take on our biggest, most immediate problem aside from all the other reasons this union was likely to fail? We just spoke completely different cognitive "languages (Ni vs Si? Dom Fi vs Inferior Fi? Dom Te vs. Inferior Te?)" that always created endless communication gaffs, roadblocks and nuclear disasters. For example: Pixie: "Did I see you at Starbucks earlier today with Cersei f%#king Lannister when you were supposed to be at a study group?" Me: "That was the study group." Pixie: *heart imploding with the force of a billion suns* "Why didn't you tell me that?" Me: *blistering dispassion with a hint of exasperated bemusement* "Look, our past relationship is just that, in the past. You have nothing to feel insecure about. It was harmless, only work. You know I love you." Pixie: "That's not what I asked you! Stop lying and trying to hide and sugarcoat things! You know I hate that brother f%#king bitch! Why didn't you tell me you were going to see her? Me: *voice box shredding like the Hulk's Capri pants* "Because that was fucking irrelevant. She was put in a group with me! Her strategy to double-cross Dany and Jon will fall to shit, for Christ sakes. Are you happy now? You always focus on the wrong thing!" She always wanted to know the exact details behind what actually happened in a very direct, matter of fact way (perhaps to refine the many possibilities she generated for why I would withhold supposedly important information from her), whereas I always instinctively and immediately went to why I did something or the "why" concerning the underlying problem, because the "why," the deeper meaning (should and theoretically, in my mind) supersedes anything else, and especially when problem solving and coming up with a viable solution imo. Ultimately, it just didn't work. Idiotically yet idealistically, we wouldn't let that stop us. We broke up and got back together a few times before deciding that we were better off as this nebulous, ill defined glob of corrupted love and unresolved daddy/mommy abandonment issues that maybe one day might actually not fall apart at the seams just as it's getting good again. The whole idea and its subsequent execution was dysfunctional, unhealthy, ridiculous and plain ol stupid, but I gather this was us trying to be intense, brooding and deep. Dunno exactly. We'd go on to see other people and sometimes, in between relationships, link up again. Usually we couldn't reach a year and a half before we wound up back in the other's arms/bed. Moving on. She experienced a tragedy (by her standards) about 3 years ago while I was literally on the opposite side of the planet and whereas I would've normally come flying to her aid with an S on my chest, I made the conscious choice not to. Already enduring my ascent to power (lol) being stifled because of my brokedown Fi usage as it pertains to my burgeoning career, I resented yet another unwieldy force (Pixie) possessing that type of influence over me as well; I defiantly chose self-interest above anyone or anything else (like I'm instinctively wont to do, right or wrong, good or bad). She kept trying to reach me to the point of flooding all of our communication channels with emotional spam (from childish antics to vile, unforgivable diatribes). After a while, I felt bad, decided to reach out to her but was ignored for 2.5 years straight. That had never happened before--it broke our unspoken rule, which devastated me more than I realized. I grieved (rather poorly by over-utilizing Se), but eventually tucked it away, moved on and focused on work. I figured we were never meant to be anyway but that I would still love her (from afar) and wish her the best regardless. Lo and behold, she called me last night out of nowhere, drunkenly seeping concentrated pain, spewing regret, betrayal, rejection, abandonment, hatred and then love for me. She says, through tears, that she's still in love with me and wants to know if there's any chance for an "us." I felt terrible and thoroughly confused. I tried to listen and be supportive (my Te is completely inept at properly addressing/handling others' intense feelings)--I just don't naturally "speak" emotions in an unforced, compassionate, empathetic, organic manner. I'm better than I used to be but I was blindsided, taken aback and don't think I did much good. Honestly, I don't need or want this in my life right now; I'm so engrossed in my work and achieving my goals and going by what she was saying over the phone, she's still stuck in past patterns of dysfunction. I don't want that anymore. But I truly do care for her and want her to be well and happy--just not with me and not right now, at least. I hate that she is suffering but I don't know what, if anything, I should/could do to remedy this. And now, finally, here are my questions to you smart, capable, helpful people*/**: 1. When you are expressing your feelings (whether "good" or "bad"), what is the best way to respond to this that will make you feel heard, understood and validated? 2. When overcome with negative feelings that seem too powerful and unrelenting, how do you self-soothe (using safe + legal methods)? 3. Is there anyway I can speak my truth and tell her honestly where I'm at and what I want at this point in my life without further hurting her? Should I do it regardless or is it better to wait for when she's more stable? 4. Tangent, now that I have you > How do you know what you value? (Is that a stupid question? lol) I think I know what I value ("money-power-respect," knowledge, meaning/substance, fairness, justice, individuality) but it can be hard to finesse on the spot (when asked) and not come off as crude and unrefined. Do you spend a lot of time going over in your mind what is meaningful and significant to you, or do you just know somehow? (like how I seemingly "know" and intuit stuff via introverted intuition) To those who made it all the way to the end, thank you. I would really really really really appreciate some help. I have very few people in my life I trust to give me strong emotions related advice and none of them are XNFPs. Their emotions are just as trash and poorly developed as mine are. lol *Obviously, there are a multitude of ways that people respond to these things that exclude type but I'm looking for any and all variations, particularly from XNFPs and anyone else who can provide insight. **And I will shamelessly bump this thread until I obtain the breadth of insight I seek. :shrug: https://www.typologycentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=93755&goto=newpost&utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

#The NF Idyllic (ENFP #INFP #ENFJ #INFJ)

[thedramafilesblog-blog]

Appearing before The Dramacourt: 20th Century Boy and Girl Eps 29 to 32 (Final)

***If this is your first time browsing The Drama Files, please read The Rules section first for our reviewing and rating system***

Issues:

Whether Young Shim’s character developed at all.

Whether the sudden love line between Anthony and the Director was necessary.

Whether the Lawyer Boss is still super awkward.

Whether Ah Reum’s “break up” with Woo Sung made sense.

Whether Young Shim’s Mom should have got a divorce.

Whether Ji Won not going to meet the ex is the best way to deal with the ex.

Whether Jin Jin and Ji Won are #relationshipgoals

The Rule(s):

Not really. We think she had the least character development of the lot.

Not at all.

Yes!!

No. Why all this angst at the last minute?

Definitely.

100%! This is exactly how exes should be dealt with.

Absolutely!

Analysis:

RedRosette J: IT’S OVER!!!!!! Now I have to go back to hating Mondays. Ugh. But real talk: overall, I thought the drama did very well is definitely in my top five dramas of 2017. The only problems that I had in these last few episodes were with the side characters and not really Jin Jin and Ji Won. It just feels like the writer spent all this time creating the perfect main leads and then scrambled at the last minute to finish the side characters so it felt a bit messy and all over the place. The biggest plot point that I wanted wrapped up was Jin Jin and her sister Ho Sung making amends. We did get a scene with Jin Jin at Ho Sung’s and I think that was the first step in them rebuilding their relationship. Everything worked out well for the other smaller characters too like Mi Dal and Assistant Boy who got married (!!) and Jin Jin’s little brother Min Ho who got rid of his pink hair and got a real job (LOL!).

Jubiemon J: Overall, I did enjoy this drama a lot, mostly due to the girls’ strong friendship and the cuteness between Jin Jin and Jiwon! Jiwon and Jin Jin seriously are relationship goals. I haven’t seen such a mature couple in a Korean drama for a while, so their dynamics were refreshing!

Like RedRosette said, there are still a few issues with how things wrapped up for the other characters. The biggest mystery of all is related to Ho Sung and her husband. At the end of the day, I still don’t understand why the family was so against Ho Sung and her husband. I wished that that had been explored in a deeper level. I also really didn’t like how stunted Young Shim’s character turned out to be. She seemed to be growing as seen from her attempts at punctuality and her standing up for her mother. Then . . . she just showed that nothing had really changed in the last episode. She suggested that her mother get a divorce and then later get all mad at her mother for wanting to go through with it. Like what? How immature are you? You’re not a middle school student or some kid anywhere. You’re already 36…. -0-‘

Making amends like…

When you aren’t buying whatever scheme your friend is trying to sell…

Such cuties

Super adorbs ❤

RedRosette J: I only wish that Jin Jin’s parents hadn’t found out about Ji Won and Jin Jin through the news like everyone else. It would have been nicer if they had just told them (but Min Ho’s horrified reactions made up for it so I’m not all that mad about it). Dad’s reaction bugged me a little but then again, I guess it can be disturbing for a parent to find out their “pseudo-son” is seeing their daughter LOL! I’m glad we also got some explanation as to why Jin Jin and Ji Won lasted all of three seconds together back in high school! Spoiler: Dad caught them kissing in the elevator!!

Jubiemon J: I was really confused about the dad’s reaction to Jin Jin and Ji Won. In previous episodes, he seemed to have noticed something between them and was all supportive and what not. Then when he really confirmed that they were together, he even threw out Ji Won’s shoes and started going all aggressive at him. Okay . . . Jin Jin is already 36 years old; she’s no longer a baby. It’s not like Ji Won is some criminal . . .

*cringe*

Hugs solve all problems

When your family finds out you’re dating someone…

This is what horrified looks like

Dealing with scandals head on

  Happy family 🙂

Issue 1: Whether Young Shim’s character developed at all

RedRosette J:  Young Shim’s character was the least well written. Her mousy, pushover persona didn’t change at all throughout the show. It would have been nice to see some character growth with her because she needed to change to stand up to her father and to be better at work. Although there was some change in her relationship with her father, there really wasn’t any change in her attitude or behaviour. But then again, in real life, people don’t really change all that much and maybe that’s what she represents.

Jubiemon J: I sort of alluded to this issue in the beginning of this post, so the short answer here is this: No, she did not develop at all as a character. I have to mention it again. I really was irritated when she told her mom to have a divorce and then the next day when she found out her mom wanted one, she got all angry at her mom. Okay . . . you’re the one that pitched the idea so own up to it.

Girl, you need to change.

Issue 2: Whether the sudden love line between Anthony and the Director was necessary

RedRosette J: OMG where did this come from? This whole Anthony ❤ Director Lady was done for “jokes” because actress Kim So Yeon who played the Director Lady is Lee Sang Woo’s real life wife. What the hell? It wasn’t even funny or cute and tbh there was like zero chemistry between the two of them anyway. This Anthony story line would have been so much better if he had retired from acting gracefully, got a real job doing something much better, the manager girl found a real actor for her agency, and if he went and found a normal girl and called it a day. Either that or if I was the writer, I would have sent Anthony on a Eat, Pray, Love style “self-discovery” journey abroad and called it day. Anthony seriously needed to get his priorities straight. Ugh.

Jubiemon J: The last part was totally unnecessary. I think the writer wanted everyone to have his/her happy ending, but life isn’t like that. Not everyone needs to be in a relationship to be content, okay? Not everyone gets together at the same time period, all right? I also don’t think it was fitting that somehow Anthony had some happy ending. He, as a character, didn’t develop much either. Sure, he did try his best to act, but . . . there didn’t seem like a difference. He also still liked to play the hero. So ugh.

Issue 3: Whether the Lawyer Boss is still super awkward

RedRosette J: Every week I keep hoping for him not to be awkward, and every week he ends up becoming more awkward. I can’t. I’m done with him.

Jubiemon J: The awkwardness is born within him. That random “you can hold my hand” scene made me laugh so hard and cringe on his behalf.

  Issue 4: Whether Ah Reum’s “break up” with Woo Sung made sense

RedRosette J: I really didn’t understand why Ah Reum wanted to break up with Woo Sung. It seemed like she was afraid of the person she was becoming in front of her potential in-laws but that hardly seems like a reason to break up. She talked about how she just wanted to married and didn’t really think about what marriage actually entails and then maybe I missed something but somehow all of that got resolved and there she was getting back together with him. Huh? And girl, you can’t be doing this to the poor guy. Breaking up and getting back together with him whenever you want; that’s some serious emotional mind games girl. Honestly, Ah Reum seriously needed to grow up. She was constantly behaving like a teenager and come to think of it, she didn’t really change much either.

Jubiemon J: I think Ah Reum just got cold feet with all the seriousness of what a marriage entails. Getting married doesn’t just mean marrying the guy; it’s about marrying the family too. I think she was also super worried that her own lifestyle would be changed and just wasn’t ready to face that. Her idea of marriage had always been this super idealized, albeit Disney version of this. Then when she met those sisters, reality sort of sunk in more and she probably got scared and thought everything would be better if she were single. I wished she had dealt with her fear better and talked to Woo Sung about her worries instead of running away from her fears. That made me feel like Ah Reum, as a character, had fallen flat.

Issue 5: Whether Young Shim’s Mom should have got a divorce

RedRosette J: Absolutely she should have got a divorce! She lived in actual fear in her own home! Young Shim’s Dad may not have hurt her physically, but he was emotionally abusive to her to the point where she was afraid to eat in her own home. What the hell? that’s not a good environment to be in. At the end, we do see Young Shim’s Mom fighting back by not responding to every demand the Dad makes but it hasn’t lessened his barking at her at all.  Ideally, she should have actually gone through with the divorce. However, the reality is that for many women like Young Shim’s Mom, divorce would leave them with no real way of supporting themselves financially, so this means that many women like her end up staying in toxic relationships.

Jubiemon J: I think it’s hard to say whether or not she should have gotten a divorce because divorce is really a sensitive/personal topic. I, personally, don’t feel comfortable saying directly whether someone should have divorced/not in this case. I can see why she chose not to and I’ll list them here. First, her mother has no source of income and doesn’t seem to have much money saved in her own account, and so she is very dependent on her husband. Second, her mother doesn’t seem to be the type that is strong enough to just start living independently and to find any type of work by herself. Third, Young Shim showed that she was against this divorce, so the mother might have felt that and was influenced by Young Shim’s behaviour. Fourth, perhaps Young Shim’s mother is scared of being alone.

RedRosette J Aside: Also Young Shim giving advice to her Mom regarding her divorce in a professional capacity is a no-no because there’s a huge conflict of interest when it comes to family and is generally not recommended.

Get someone else to help.

Issue 6: Whether Ji Won not going to meet the ex is the best way to deal with the ex

Jubiemon J: I am so happy that Ji Won didn’t go off to meet his ex and resolved this situation over the phone. I think Ji Won is one of the more developed characters in this drama. He realizes that he can’t keep dwelling on the past and to move on, he has to directly respond to his ex. The only thing that I wished he had done was to tell Jin Jin about his ex, instead of Jin Jin confronting him. Jin Jin was seriously super kind and open minded to not get mad at Ji Won for hiding this past of his.

RedRosette J:  I agree. I really wish more drama male characters would make choices like Ji Won. It was enough to resolve his issue with the ex over the phone. All it required was an honest conversation and didn’t require a face o face meeting. Also, calling your ex under the pretense of returning old shoes? Really? Does she honestly think that Ji Won was born yesterday? What a snake! I also agree with Jubiemon that Ji Won should have told Jin Jin about the ex first. She’s already so open minded and accepting, its the least he could have done. And honestly how refreshing was it to see two drama characters talk about the ex in a mature, logical way instead of behaving like hormonal pre-teens?

That’s right. Don’t be meeting your snake of an ex!

Issue 7: Whether Jin Jin and Ji Won are #relationshipgoals

RedRosette J: These two have been by far my favourite kdrama couple of 2017. It’s rare to see a mature, loving relationship with two well written characters and these guys are definitely #relationshipgoals.

The feels…

Awwww

Cake Proposal: simple yet super romantic

When you wanted to go out but he takes you to your usual hangout…

Did it just get hot in here? *fans face*

#goals

Conclusion: Appeal Allowed.

Rating: 5 = KYAH! ❤ (We absolutely loved this drama and it will be sorely missed!)

File No: 20th-Century-Boy-and-Girl-EPS-29-to-32 (Final) Appearing before The Dramacourt: 20th Century Boy and Girl Eps 29 to 32 (Final) ***If this is your first time browsing The Drama Files, please read 

#2017 drama #2017 kdrama #2017 korean drama #2017韓國電視劇 #20세기 소년소녀 #20세기 소년소녀 analysis #20세기 소년소녀 critique #20세기 소년소녀 ep 29 #20세기 소년소녀 ep 30 #20세기 소년소녀 ep 31 #20세기 소년소녀 ep 32 #20세기 소년소녀 episode 29 #20세기 소년소녀 episode 30 #20세기 소년소녀 episode 31 #20세기 소년소녀 episode 32 #20세기 소년소녀 final ep #20세기 소년소녀 recap #20세기 소년소녀 review #20세기 소년소녀 thoughts #20th Century Boy and Girl #20th Century Boy and Girl analysed #20th Century Boy and Girl analysis #20th Century Boy and Girl comments #20th Century Boy and Girl critique #20th century boy and girl drama recap #20th century boy and girl drama review #20th century boy and girl ep 29 #20th century boy and girl ep 29 recap #20th century boy and girl ep 29 review #20th Century Boy and Girl ep 29 thoughts

[femslashhistorian]

6 Kalex and Supercorp Fics, featuring Cat Grant - Supergirl Femslash Fic Recs

We miss Cat Grant, even if Supercat is not our primary ship or if we do not ship Supercat at all, because she is a fascinating character and had a lot of influence on Kara.

In this Supergirl Femslash Fanfiction Recommendations post, I have collected Kalex (Alex/Kara) and Supercorp (Kara/Lena) stories in which Cat Grant has a substantial role: She is a mother, a friend, a mentor, an observer, a former lover or a rival.

There are six stories

The one in which Cat and Carter spend a day with Alex and Kara at the aquarium (Kalex)

The one in which we see Alex and Kara's wedding through Cat's point of view (Kalex)

The one in which, after Cat left, Kara and Lena are building a life together (Supercorp)

The one in which Lena is afraid because Cat, Kara's former lover, is back in town (Supercorp)

The one in which Cat is Lena's mentor (Supercorp-ish)

The hilarious one in which Cat and Lena have a hissing fight about Supergirl (both, neither?)

Introduction, disclaimers and warnings:

If you like only Supercat than this one is not for you: Cat will not be Kara's girlfriend at the end of any of these stories.

If you want Cat Grant bashing, then this one is also not for you. She is treated nicely in all of the stories and plays a role in the story and/or left substantial impact on Kara's or Lena's life.

Warning: Kalex (Alex/Kara) means that Kara and Alex have a romantic relationship. They are not biological siblings. Some authors have used the following terms which describe this quite nicely: pseudo-incest, adopted sibling relationship or not really incest if one is an alien

And as always: don't read what you do not like and ship and let ship.

Let’s start with two Kalex stories. Both are actually a series.

1. The one in which Cat and Carter spend a day with Alex and Kara at the aquarium (Kalex)

Title: It's Not Just Another Day (Series)

Author: xavacid (@xav-acid on tumblr)

Link to series: [AO3]

Setting: Supergirl TV 2015 (DCU) AU-ish (a bit Alternate Universe)

Relationship:  Alex Danvers/Kara Danvers (Kalex) (f/f)

The series consists of 2 completed and an uncompleted story.

1) It's Just Another Day, Until It's Not (2016) 1 Chapter, 3k words (completed)

Alex wasn't one for Valentine's Day, but when Kara wanted to do sisters' date, she couldn't really deny her anything.

2) It's Supposed to be a Date (2016) 6 Chapters, 33k words (completed)

They were supposed to go out, the two of them, a date. Until Kara made an offer to young Mr. Grant to bring him along. Alex wasn't thrill. This is a sort of sequel to It's Just Another Day, Until It's Not.

The first story It's Just Another Day, Until It's Not is short and sweet and I would recommend to read it first, but it is the second story It's Supposed to be a Date that is the reason why this series is on this list.

Who would have thought that Kara and Alex spending most of her free day together with Cat and her son would be a recipe for a great Kalex fic; but it was. This is a great and sweet story with a lot of humorous moments. There is no action and no angst, just a nice day at the aquarium.

It is fabulous how the author treats food in this story. Food, which plays such an important part in Kara's life. And the way Alex's love and never-ending care of Kara is told by little piece about food and Cat's observations of Alex and Kara. And a nice take on Cat.

2. The one in which we see Alex and Kara's wedding through Cat's point of view (Kalex)

Title: Soul Mates Never Die (Series)

Author: barnaby317 (@barnaby317 on tumblr)

Link to series: [AO3]

Setting: Supergirl TV 2015 (DCU) AU-ish (a bit Alternate Universe)

Relationship:  Alex Danvers/Kara Danvers (Kalex) (f/f)

The series consists of 3 stories.

1) Soul Deep (2016) 5 Chapters, 4k words (completed)

"The pain appeared seconds after her first real exposure to Earths yellow sun before her body became extraordinary as her mother exclaimed but it wasn’t until she was safely ensconced in her new bed chamber later that evening that Kara Zor-El, Kara Danvers as she was now to be known, discovered exactly what the pain had been." or Kara gets soul markings and so does Alex...

2) Soul Deep 2 (2016) 1 Chapters, 2k words (completed)

In which Kara and Alex finally seal the bond Reading Soul Deep is imperative, you won't understand this if you don't!

3) Soul Connection (2016) 1 Chapters, 3k words (completed)

The wedding between Alex and Kara as seen through Cat's eyes or Cat gets her very own happy ending.

This is a series of thee stories. The first two stories are nicely written Kalex stories that center around Alex having known that she was Kara's soulmate for a long time, but hiding it and her mark from Kara to protect her.

But the story would not be on in this list, were it not for the third story Soul Connection. And not just because this story is about Kara's and Alex's wedding told from Cat's point of view. This is not only an interesting twist, but this story is excellent (stronger than the first two), as the author brilliantly and lovingly manages to capture Cat's voice. Also, there is a nice surprise waiting for Cat at the wedding.

The four Supercorp fics cover nearly everything. Short and longer stories, covering Kara and Lena actually not being in a relationship to a long-term relationship.

3. The one in which, after Cat left, Kara and Lena are building a life together (Supercorp)

Title: Beyond Compare

Author: writerstealth (@writerstealth on tumblr)

Link to fic: [AO3]

Setting: Supergirl TV 2015 (DCU) AU-ish (a bit Alternate Universe)

Relationship: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor (Supercorp / Karlena) (f/f)

9 Chapters, 10k words (completed)

Published: 2016

What started as a rebound relationship slowly grows into something much more important for Kara and Lena.

Kara and Cat were lovers and Kara is still hurting and a bit broken that Cat left (and left her). This is the story of Kara and Lena.

It seems that perfection is attained not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing more to remove.

I had not expected to use this quote from Antoine de Saint Exupéry to describe a Supercorp story, but here we are. I had never thought it would be possible to write such a full and complete love story with just ten thousand words. I cannot remember having read a story of this lengths before that felt like a full-length novel. And I am still amazed how perfectly @writerstealth managed to achieve this.

There is no action, no retelling of episode plots, no side ships, just the story of Kara and Lena. There are not even any additional characters apart from Cat.

Neither Cat nor Lena are perfect, neither of them is evil. Both are imperfect people, both have faults, both are human. Beyond Compare also excels at showing that a relationship with Cat would have left lasting effect on Kara.

If you have never watched the show, or you are looking for your first fanfiction to read, this is probably not the right story to start. Once you have seen a bit of the show and read a few fics, I think you will be able to appreciate the brilliance of this beautifully written story. It made me cry and it made me smile.

4. The one in which Lena is afraid because Cat, Kara's former lover, is back in town (Supercorp)

Title: Somebody I used to know

Author: GaneWhoo (lost-your-memory on tumblr)

Link to fic: AO3

Setting: Supergirl TV 2015 (DCU) AU-ish (a bit Alternate Universe)

Relationship:  Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor (Supercorp / Karlena) (f/f)

1 Chapters, 3k words (completed)

Published: 2016

“Cat Grant is back.”

The voice was low and soft but Kara heard the insecurity like a thunderstorm in a hot summer night. It was barely a waiver, subtle and perfectly controlled but it was there, leaking through a husky tone like blood dripping out of an open wound and in a way, it was exactly that.

It was an old scar that took months and years to heal, still sore and vulnerable, still recovering and that had just been ripped open without any warning signs. Kara sighed and met Lena’s eyes.

A short and really good fic. It deals with Lena’s insecurities and Kara asking herself if she is really over Cat.

5. The one in which Cat is Lena's mentor (Supercorp-ish)

Title: cussing up a storm in a cocktail dress

Author: celaenos (@banrions on tumblr)

Link to fic: [AO3]

Setting: Supergirl TV 2015 (DCU) AU-ish (a bit Alternate Universe)

Relationship: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor (Supercorp / Karlena) pre-relationship (f/f)

2 Chapters, 9k words (completed)

Published: 2016

Lena ducks her head, a bit sheepishly. She’s not one to become giddy, or enamored with other people. Being a Luthor comes with a certain… steel spine and apathetic eye roll at the world. A knowledge that you are better in a way that others are not. It’s hard to grow out of, even if you’re actively trying. If she’s honest, Lena’s not always trying.

Kara and Lena do not really reach a relationship in this story. In fact, there is little interaction between Kara and Lena - there is some more between Lena and Supergirl.

This is an impressive study of the frosty relationship between Lena and her mother - quite angsty. And (this is why this story is here) an interesting take on Cat & Lena having known each other and Cat being a friend / mentor for Lena. Considering that the two never met on the show, this was really fascinating. And well written.

 6. The hilarious one in which Cat and Lena have a hissing fight about Supergirl (both, neither?)

Title: May the Best Woman Win

Author: lears_daughter

Link to fic: [AO3]

Setting: Supergirl TV 2015 (DCU) AU-ish (a bit Alternate Universe)

Relationship: Kara Danvers/Cat Grant (Supercat), Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor (Supercorp / Karlena) (f/f) Both? Neither?

1 Chapters, 2k words (completed)

Published: 2016

Kara Danvers learned that Cat Grant had returned to National City in the most awkward way imaginable: by strolling blithely into Lena Luthor’s office, a box of doughnuts in her hands, Super Hearing deactivated, and interrupting the two immensely powerful women in the midst of a furious, hissing fight about Supergirl.

Cat and Lena are at each other’s throat. Poor Kara does not know what to do and is a bit oblivious. This is a short and hilarious fic.

For more of my Supercorp / Supercat recs and posts about Supergirl:

5 Kara/Lena Christmas Fics: Supergirl / DCU Femslash Fanfiction Recommendations

3 Fics about Kara’s Identity – Supergirl / DCU Femslash Fanfiction Recommendations (Supercorp and Supercat)

My Femslash History Part 8: Supergay (Supergirl 2015)

To find out more about my f/f fanfiction recommendations or for more ... f/f fic recs | Korrasami | KiGo | DCU & Supergirl | MCU | PoI | Buffy | f/f history

#supergirl femslash #supergirl fanfiction #supercorp #kalex #kara x alex #kara x lena #karlena #fanfiction recommendation #fanfic rec #supergirl #dcu #dcu femslash #femslash fanfiction #dcu all femslash

[damienthepious]

this has been a difficult week! also for the bouquet here whoops.

Going Through Changes, Ripping Out Pages (chapter 6)

[ch 1] [ch 2] [ch 3] [ch 4] [ch 5] [ao3] [ch 7] [ch 8] [ch 9] [ch 10] [???]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Lord Arum, Sir Damien, Rilla, The Keep

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin’ Tuesday, Established Relationship, (uhhhhh sorta), Amnesia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, (WE WILL GET THERE…… EVENTUALLY)

Summary: Lord Arum wakes to discover that some things have changed while he slept. Namely, there is a human in his bed.

Chapter Summary: There are some tried and true methods, when it comes to curse-breaking.

Chapter Notes: this chapter beat me up out by the dumpsters. but hey! happy LKT! ;3c

~

Arum brings them to his workshop. Rilla isn't sure if she should be more relieved or worried about that, but the fact that the room looks turned over is leaning her more towards the second option.

"Okay," she says slowly as he leans against one of the worktables (his own, she notes) and stares at the both of them with an edge of suspicion. "You want us to convince you. How exactly can we do that?"

"What will it take for you to believe us?" Damien echoes, his voice a little uneven.

Arum wrinkles his snout, but he doesn't quite look angry, now. Mostly he just looks uncomfortable.

He reaches and lifts one of her recorders from on top of a small pile of blueprints, scrawled over in his handwriting as well Rilla's, and he frowns lightly as he fiddles with the controls until he plays the entry he's apparently interested in.

Research log, Entry 4485. We're going to need to adjust the dosage slightly on the treatment regimen we've worked out for the Keep. Its reaction has been positive, and it certainly seems like we're making strides helping it recover from the long-term damage sustained from the Moonlit Hermit incident, but it's experiencing some side effects and I think we can work out a better ratio that should prevent the added drowsiness and pseudo-cramping while still helping to restore its structural awareness and reduce the internal scarring. I think our best bet is-

Arum stops the recording, still frowning, and then he meets Rilla's eyes.

"I thought you said that we solved the illness afflicting my Keep," he mutters, though he still doesn't sound angry.

"We did," she clarifies. "But by the time we did solve it, the Keep had been suffering from sleep deprivation - you had too, by the way - and a magically modified fungal infection so bad that it was nearly necrotic for something like two weeks at least. We figured out the problem, but that doesn't mean that the Keep didn't take some long-term damage in the meantime. And even after that-" she laughs, helplessly, "after that, the fear monster set the entire swamp off, so it's not like the poor thing got a break before you and Marc and it had to struggle through a full-blown assault."

"Marc," Arum hisses, looking away. "The Keep mentioned another… hrm."

"Is this… does this have any particular bearing on our current situation?" Damien asks, his tone very careful, and Arum sighs.

"The pieces of this obnoxious puzzle seem to be falling into place," he says slowly, grudgingly. "And the pieces seem to… corroborate a certain version of the events of the last year."

"A certain version?" Damien echoes, his hands clasping in front of his chest.

Arum sighs again, his snout wrinkling before he looks up towards them. "Your version. Which-" he waves a hand in front of himself when Rilla and Damien glance towards each other in surprise. "Do not misunderstand. Your story is still ridiculous, and I still do not understand, and everything you have so far claimed is decidedly in the realm of the impossible. But-" he grimaces, and then he reaches for the recorder again. "But I am… I am more aware than most," he grumbles, "that the impossible is perfectly within reach. For me, at the least."

He presses down the button, and a different entry plays. Rilla doesn't remember exactly when this one is from (she records her logs so thoroughly so she doesn't need to keep that information in her head, honestly), but she can hear from the very first word that she's completely exhausted in the recordin.

-ter version of the salve. The last three trials have completely tanked, and until I can get my hands on some mo-

She interrupts herself, the edges of a wide yawn crackling through on the tape.

- more, Saints. More of that specific subspecies of dayshade, which is a pain in the ass to source, I'm limited in the number of trials I can actually do. I've got maybe enough for… four more attempts? So I need to pick just four formulas to try and just hope that one of them-

A rustle and a gasp, and then Arum's low rumbling laughter on the recording.

Sneaking up on me again, Arum-

I do not think I could have approached you in any other way, Amaryllis. You have apparently been utterly single-minded on this task since sundown. You … you aren't avoiding sleep again, are you?

No. No, I just- lost track of the time. Is it actually that late?

If you go to sleep right now, you might just pass Damien as he wakes.

A laugh, Rilla's own this time, and then another rustle that ends in a soft hum.

So what are you doing awake, then?

Looking for you, of course.

Another laugh, bright and warm, and Arum looks away from the device with his frill flared high.

Arum-

Come to bed, little doctor. It is … it is never quite warm enough without you.

Alright, okay, okay you big- oh. Whoops. Experiment will continue tomorrow, I guess? End of log.

Arum clicks the button, preventing the device from playing the following log, and then he swallows and frowns even more deeply before he meets Rilla's eyes again.

"Evidence," he hisses. "Everywhere I look, every stone I turn. The pair of you have sunk your roots in here, however you've done it, and… and I know my own voice. I know- I can recognize-"

He snaps his teeth together, and then he exhales a hiss between them.

"I do not understand how. But the pair of you are apparently a part of this. Part of the life that this-" he pats his own chest, his lower hands with the dulled claws thumping off of his scales, "this version of myself has built, over the year that has been stolen from me. I cannot… I cannot imagine that the both of you are… are such impeccable liars as would be required for this to be…" he clenches his teeth, eyes flicking back and forth as he searches for the words.

"Arum," Damien murmurs, and the monster's frown eases, just barely.

"I am beginning to think," Arum says slowly, "that this curse was meant to harm you, just as much as it was meant to harm me."

Rilla can't help the relief, can't help the way her shoulders sag, and Damien clings to her arm. Arum watches them both, but- he doesn't seem surprised by their reaction.

"If- if that was the intent," Damien says breathlessly, "I think it is safe to say it quite succeeded."

"Hm," Arum says, and it sounds a little bit like an agreement.

Rilla, for her part, is running back through exactly what Arum just said, because-

"Wait. You said- curse?"

Arum's frill settles, and he turns, jerking his shoulder to motion the pair of them closer.

"You said before that you do not believe I have had any correspondence with the monster Senate since… since almost the time that I can remember currently. I've found some evidence to the contrary. Look."

He gestures, and Rilla looks past him to see the carefully reconstructed remains of the letter.

She steps closer, and Arum rattles uncomfortably as she and Damien read through what they can. Damien's breath goes sharp, and Rilla needs to read it three times, because she's almost too angry to internalize the words on the first two tries.

"You are going to destroy them," Damien echoes, his horror completely clear in his tone. "They thought- they wanted you to kill us. They thought that you would-"

"I nearly did," Arum murmurs, his tail flicking irritably. "They certainly wanted me to. Or, failing that, they believed that one of you would kill me. I find myself far less favorable towards that first idea now that I know I was being manipulated into it. I am the puppet of no creature, no matter how much of my mind has been scraped away."

"So you think-" Rilla cuts off, the anger flaring again. "So they cursed you. That's what you think this is?"

"That would not be unheard of, for a punishment laid down by the Senate," he murmurs, looking away.

"This… this is because of us, then," Damien says quietly, blankly. "It is our fault, that they have done this to you."

Rilla jerks her head to the side to look at Damien, biting his lip and pressing a hand over his heart in obvious despair, and she opens her mouth to deny it, but Arum gets there first.

"I would say, little knight, that if the Senate did this to me, it is their fault." He growls lightly, tapping his claws off the table beside the remains of the letter. "Besides, did we not just agree that this was meant to harm you as well? Now that we have at least some hint as to what has caused this debacle, we can begin to take steps towards reversing it."

"You have an idea, then?"

"I have several," he grumbles, and then his chest puffs up as he stands a bit straighter. "I have broken curses before. I will break this one as well," he says. "Keep. The scroll room."

The Keep obeys without a please this time, and as the portal is forming beside the monster he turns to Rilla again.

"If you and I… perform research together, as is apparent from… the majority of this room, and from your notes as well as my own… I will allow you to assist me."

Rilla snorts a laugh, and then she takes Damien's hand. "I'm not your assistant," she says quickly as they step past him through the portal. "And you aren't mine either," she clarifies when his expression goes sour behind them. "C'mon. Just show me which journals we're starting with and we'll compare notes in an hour."

~

Damien helps for a while, mostly just fetching books and running to the kitchen to grab water and a small meal for the three of them, and then assisting whenever Rilla asks, but she's not entirely surprised when she glances over to ask him to grab one of Vetch's older journals and she finds him completely passed out in the chair beside her own.

She manages a smile. This is the calmest she's seen him look all day.

Arum doesn't mention it, but he works more quietly after that. She pretends not to notice when she catches him staring at Damien in his sleep.

Eventually, she leans back in her seat with a long sigh, pushing her hair out of her face. They've hit on a few different curse-breaking methods that seem to come up repeatedly- one that Arum says he's used before is pretty straightforward, but unlikely to be useful to them in this case: killing the creature who created the curse. Usually, he says, that will solve the issue immediately, but there is a slim chance that it'll just leave the curse behind, depending on how it was created. Besides that, though, the chances of the four of them figuring out which member of the Senate created this curse and then actually getting close enough to kill them- well, it's a risky idea at the very least. Probably impossible, if she's being honest with herself.

Another potential solution that keeps coming up in Rilla's research is- well. Mostly it's just more fuel for the fire of Rilla's distaste for the way magic works. It sounds more like a bad joke than a real solution, but it does keep coming up, and… well…

"Do kisses actually break curses?" Rilla asks eventually, quietly, and she feels absolutely stupid, but she's been with Arum for long enough to know that if this question has a real answer, he would know it. "Or is that just another dumb misinterpretation-slash-mistranslation of some herbal component or something?"

"They-" he pauses, flicks his tongue, and his expression goes distinctly uncomfortable. "They have been known to. Historically. Though- though the magic is, of course-"

"Inconsistent," Rilla finishes with a frustrated sigh. "I know, I know. But-"

"It would not be… unheard of," he mumbles, looking decidedly away from her. "If… if a- a powerful sort of- of connection were involved."

Rilla grits her teeth, resisting the urge to groan. "So. True love."

"Ugh," the monster grumbles, and Rilla can't help but agree.

"Look, I know it's stupid, but so is magic and if there's even a possibility it might work-"

"Magic is not stupid," he spits, and her human insult sounds charmingly ridiculous in his voice. Like it always does. She tries not to think about that.

"Just inconsistent and almost deliberately contrary," she says, and then she glances towards Damien's still sleeping-slumped form and lowers her voice. "I just- I know it's a long shot. I know you barely believe us. I know it'll be-" painful, she doesn't say. "Awkward. But- if it works, then it's just a few seconds of- awkward and then you'll have the whole damn year back, right?"

"So you would like to… kiss." He pauses, his hands flexing and clenching. "To kiss me. That is what you are saying."

"I'm not saying I would like to," she corrects quickly, because the idea of Arum not knowing, not recognizing, not remembering while she puts her lips on him makes her feel- it makes her chest feel tight and awful and she thinks that she might want to just scream a bit, but- "I'm saying there's a slim, slim chance that it might just fix this, and I think it'd be stupid of us not to just test that incredibly low-risk theory and see what happens, if anything. And if it doesn't work-"

He stares at her, his frown turning nearly into a pout as she tries not to think about the curiosity in his eyes.

"If it doesn't work?"

"Then we…" she sighs. "Then we just keep looking for something else. No great loss beyond a couple of seconds of time."

That part feels like a lie. Rilla- Rilla always wants to kiss Arum. She loves kissing Arum, loves the way she can make him smile, make his whole frame soften so damn easily-

It feels like a pretty fucking substantial loss, though, to give a kiss to Arum while he barely even knows who she is.

But if there's even the slightest chance it might bring him back- Saints, she's starting to sound like Damien. She sucks in a breath to steady herself, then presses her own lips into a frown as she waits for Arum to respond.

His hands flex again, and then he seems to remember the coded journal in danger of his claws, and he sets the tome aside as a thin rattle whirs from his throat. He meets her eye- and then he glances away too quickly, snake-strike fast.

Rilla saw, though. She saw the look in his eyes. He's already made the decision.

"… very well," he says eventually, still not looking anywhere near her. "If… if you believe we might unravel this magic… if we are to each other what you say we are… that sort of magic is rather old, and rather… potent. I imagine this curse must be powerful, but…"

"You agree that there's a chance?"

"Slim," he hedges. "With magic, there is a chance of nearly anything. With magic as old as a curse-breaking kiss… a slim chance is still a chance, I suppose."

"Okay," Rilla says slowly. "So… so you're okay if we… try this?"

"I'm not going to get my hopes up," the monster mutters, and then he flicks his eyes up to meet her own. "But… yes. If there is a chance… yes."

Rilla clenches her fists hard at her side, trying and trying and trying not to think about the mingling hope and curiosity she can see the monster trying very clumsily to hide.

"Alright," she says, and then she takes another step closer to him. "Okay. If you're sure-"

"I'm not going to say it again, little human."

"I'm just gonna," she says by way of warning, and then before her hands can start actually shaking, she lifts them to cup his jaw, her heart stuttering when he stiffens at the contact. He swallows, his eyes widening as they flick between her own, and she gives a weak sort of smile. "Close your eyes?"

She's half expecting him to change his mind at that. Instead, he just watches her for another moment, his hands flexing at his sides, and then she feels him nod very slightly as he lets his eyes slip closed.

She could almost pretend, like this. While he isn't looking at her- she could almost pretend.

Almost.

She leans up, going on her toes so she can reach his mouth more easily, but when she's at the right level she pauses first.

"I… I know you don't want to hear this right now," she whispers, and Arum inhales sharply as her breath tickles his scales, "but I think- I feel like… maybe I should."

"What…" he keeps his eyes closed, his shoulders stiff. "Go on. Say what needs said and just-"

"I love you," she murmurs, and the shocked noise he makes is too much to stand, so she closes her own eyes as she lifts herself the last little bit to kiss him.

It feels exactly like a first kiss, which Rilla decides she should have expected. He feels stiff against her, he doesn't even raise his hands to hold her, he just- stands and gasps against her lips and allows her to hold his face with as much gentleness as she can muster.

His chest rumbles as her thumbs brush across his cheeks, as her mouth moves against him. She can tell that he's just as breathless as she is, and she feels burning and wild as she thinks, told you that you purr, you big liar.

Her eyes flutter open as she slowly pulls away. She exhales, one long sigh, and then she looks up into Arum's eyes.

Her heart stumbles, and then it sinks.

Arum's violet eyes are wide, and stunned, and wanting-

And still without a flicker of memory.

She tries to hide her- her disappointment, tries to hide the way her entire body feels suddenly cold and distant, but when she closes her eyes again she can hear the small noise the monster makes in response, and after a moment, two of his hands reach awkwardly to grip her own.

"I… Rilla…"

"Don't- don't call me that," she manages, and her voice sounds strange in her own ears. It's almost worse, hearing him try to say the wrong name so damn gently instead of just hissing at her. "You never call me that."

"I'm… I'm s-" he pauses, and she can feel his hands flexing uncomfortably against her own. "I do not know what to say. I thought- for a moment, I almost believed that perhaps-"

"Knew it was a ridiculous long shot. You said so yourself," she says, before he can finish the thought, and his hands drop away from her. She wants to grab his wrists and pull his arms around her, wants to run until her legs give out, wants to shove him and scream in his face, wants to kiss him again and again and again until she snaps this curse in half-

She opens her eyes, and turns away from Arum's confused, yearning face, back to the pile of books. She pulls one towards her, peeling it open with fingers that feel wooden and strange, and she forces herself to focus on the words in front of her.

"We'll keep trying," she says, and after a moment she sees him nod out of the corner of her eye.

They'll keep trying. Rilla will keep working. Until they fix this, until they get him back-

There's nothing else she can do.

[->]

#elle's fanfic #the penumbra podcast #second citadel #rad bouquet #lord arum #amaryllis of exile #sir damien #going through changes ripping out pages

[seriouslyhooked]

Lost Souls and Reveries (Part 6)

18 part AU written for @cssns​. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5. Story available on AO3 Here and FF Here. Banner created by the amazingly talented @shipsxahoy​!!

Killian Jones is a wolf shifter without roots, without plans, and without a pack. He’s a rogue, someone humans should avoid and shifters should be wary of given his lineage. But one night years back set him on a path he didn’t realize he was taking, a path leading to a future he is destined for. That future is tied up in one woman – a human named Emma Nolan. Together Emma and Killian will find not only answers, but a love that’s truly fated. But will love be enough to set them free, or will past demons win out in the end? (Answer: love always wins – I am writing this so despite some tiny pockets of angst it’s basically a fluff-filled insta-love fest). Rated M.

A/N: Hello all! So I debated when drafting this fic how fast I wanted things to go, and I gotta say part of me is kicking myself now. Making this fic so much longer than I originally thought means we are going a little slower than my usual rate, but I really think it will be worth it in the end. That being said, we are at chapter six and you can rest assured more pieces are coming together in the past and in the present. Hope you guys enjoy and let me know what you all think!

“So this morning’s office schedule is pretty light as of now, knock on wood. Just that litter of kittens who need their shots, Lionel Johnson’s iguana who isn’t eating as much as usual, and the Smith’s dog who needs a restitch.”

Emma heard the words that Gus, the clinic’s administrator, was saying, but it all felt very far away even though she stood right beside him. Subconsciously she internalized the information being told to her, and at some level she’d picked it all up, but still Emma was distracted, and distraction and her work simply did not mix. She had to have the facts and focus or her patient’s could suffer, so she silently shook herself and tried to pay better attention, speed-reading the chart Gus handed her that said the exact same things he’d just imparted.

“Chester needs a restitch?”

“Yup. Your Dad checked him earlier on his way out, and the wound was still clean after you patched him up yesterday, but a few of the stitches broke overnight. We think he does that pseudo-running thing some dogs do in their sleep. Doesn’t look like he purposefully messed with it.”

“Got it,” Emma acknowledged, knowing that Gus was right. It was likely just a dream-induced injury, and not something more to worry about. “And Dad’s all good on the farms today? He doesn’t need any back up?”

“No word yet. Last I heard all things were going well, but he’s not at the farms as it turns out. He’s somewhere outside Augusta. Got a call this morning from a remote patient and they said it couldn’t wait.”

“Another referral?” Emma asked and Gus nodded. “Someone should really give him an award or something. He’s got to be the most popular vet in Maine at the rate.”

“You’re telling me,” Gus said motioning towards the schedule in a way that said managing it was no cakewalk. Emma laughed and watched as Gus walked back out front to the waiting area and she knew she should follow suit and head to the exam rooms where her charges were waiting.

Before she could do that, however, she needed to get herself in order, and part of that meant looking through old files to make sure they were giving the best form of treatment. Gus had given her all of the medical histories they had on their regular patients, but for the kittens Emma wondered what exactly would be the best treatment option. They had a number of paths to choose from, and though she could make the decision on her own and be confident in that, she felt a need to be her father today and handle things as he would. To do so, she headed into his office, seeking out the files in the back cabinet that had all his information on strays and rescues.

As she looked for the files, Emma found her eyes moving over to her father’s desk, which was meticulously ordered but comforting at the same time. He had the same familiar pictures standing up there. There was one of her parents at their wedding, one of her Dad and his best friend Lance who Emma considered an Uncle, ones of both Emma and Neal as very small kids, and a recent snapshot of the four of them at Emma’s graduation. But there was only one picture on the table with a person Emma had never met and it was the one of her father and his mother. He was only a newborn in the shot, since his mother hadn’t lived very long after having her father and his twin brother, but it was one of Emma’s favorites all the same. The love in that photo was completely undeniable, and though the loss was heart wrenching and honestly so sad, she’d found her father smiling at it many times before, taking comfort in a mother he never got the chance to know.

Emma’s fingers traced over the frame absentmindedly as she looked at the shot, but before her mind could wander too far on her family history, she heard the tell tale sound of chaos. A chorus of meows that could only be made by very young and rambunctious kittens was sounding out, and the sooner she got to work, the sooner those little cuties could get back to the shelter and the volunteers who would no doubt want to dote on them.

As the day progressed, Emma let herself relax into her work, losing herself in the familiar and unexpected parts of the process. She started by seeing to their nosiest tenants, the half dozen kittens who’d been brought in a few days back. They were ready for their four-week shots, and all of them were well behaved given the circumstances. Turned out all they wanted was some attention and affection, which Emma was very happy to give before and after she administered their vaccinations.

After the kitties, Emma shifted over to iguana care, which, as expected, turned out to be a rather benign case. The iguana was absolutely fine – he was just changing what food he wanted. It turned out normal old romaine could get boring, and Emma was able to get him to eat much more when she offered him a little fruit and some cherry tomatoes. She’d keep him over night for observation, but she was certain he’d pull through.  And as for Chester, the lovable if overactive English setter, his stitches did in fact need tending to but he was a good boy as she did the work. She didn’t even need to call in Gus for back up, and soon enough he was all stitched up and good to go.

This smooth sailing was arguably great, seeing as it made Emma’s life easier, but the lack of intensity in her day opened Emma up to wandering thoughts again. Because there was no real risk involved, her mind could do its own thing as her body did the work she knew by heart, and it turned out that when given the chance all she could think of was Killian Jones and the way he kissed.

And damn could he kiss! Just thinking about it sent a thrill of anticipation up Emma’s spine. That elated sensation reverberated outwards, filling her with this energy that felt almost electric and he wasn’t even with her. Emma was completely by herself, but the room was still filled with anticipation and wanting all the same. It was crazy to be so affected by someone, but that seemed to be how the story went where Emma and Killian were concerned. She’d been drawn in since they first saw each other, and there’d been a build in her wanting him since that first moment, but after that kiss outside the Rabbit Hole… well, leave it to say there was just no way to resist anymore. She had to give in, and damn if giving in didn’t feel so freaking good.

It was so good, in fact, that Emma had caved to that desire more than once in the past few days. The weekend had been filled with little moments, almost of all of which began, ended, or consisted wholly of kissing this man who made her feel so much. There was some talking scattered in between, mostly Killian saying these amazingly sweet or sexy things that just made Emma want him even more, but the kissing was the defining part of every interaction. They were honestly acting like teenagers, finding each other and sneaking away to make out like it was going out of style, but Emma found that she loved it and that she couldn’t get enough.

The excitement of not knowing when she would see him but being certain that he would find her filled Emma with this rush she’d never known before. Part of her was dying to ask Killian exactly what this was between them. She wanted to put labels on the attraction that they clearly shared, but another part of Emma wanted to stay caught up in the moment. It felt so freeing to just be impulsive and take what she wanted, and Emma didn’t think she had ever felt more alive than she did in those fleeting instances. Still, there was only so long that this pattern could hold. At some point her tendency towards needing a plan and craving direction would win out, and when it did she and Killian would have to talk about what was next and when ‘next’ would be here.

The thought of what all of this meant had been weighing on Emma to some degree, and though she tried to keep it to herself throughout the weekend, Emma did confess her slight misgivings to Elsa and to Anna. It was hard not to, especially since she told them about the first kiss. Since being informed of the new direction of Emma and Killian’s relationship, her best friends had been starved for more news and more updates, and because they were like sisters to her, Emma was confident that anything she said would stay between them. She told them honestly about all she felt – about how for right now this was enough, but that she wanted more with Killian eventually – and their insights and perceptions had been most eye opening.

For Anna, this whole dance was a build up that Emma should be enjoying. It had been forever since Emma had shown interest in anyone, and never to this degree, and she’d been so busy with school and now working at the clinic that she hadn’t had time for any kind of flirtation. Anna saw Killian as a means to a delicious and healthy end, and if things lasted in the long run that was great. But more than anything, Anna believed that Emma needed the adventure and a little more spice in her life. Emma agreed with that last part, but she found it hard to be so cavalier about the future. She loved the current dynamic of waiting and wondering, but the thought that somehow this wouldn’t work out or move forward hurt Emma’s heart and had old protective walls wanting to come up again.

Elsa, meanwhile, saw things very differently. To her the worry was not needed, not because Emma wasn’t really putting her heart on the line or feeling more than she ever had, but because it wasn’t actually a risk. Time had only further cemented Elsa’s instinct that Killian was a keeper, and she held him in this esteem that made Emma feel like he would be a permanent fixture in her world and in Storybrooke too. Elsa’s feeling before meeting him had blossomed after his coming to the bar. She’d met him and sized him up completely, and her results gave Emma this incredible hope. Knowing Elsa felt like this was right for her gave Emma room to really believe that it could be, and though she trusted her own instincts to lead her in the right direction, Emma had been counting on Elsa’s gut with even more faith for years…

After everything that happened last night in the alley, Emma felt like she couldn’t tell what was real and was a dream anymore.

She’d come back inside after the attack and had taken her time to find her family again, and when she did it was on the tip of her tongue to say something. She had to tell them, right? They needed to know that two giant wolves had just had a massive showdown in the back of the Boston Children’s Hospital. But for some reason Emma couldn’t say the words. Maybe it was because her parents looked so relieved to see her after she’d run off, or maybe it was the fact that she could see how tired they were from all of their stress, but in the end Emma ended up saying nothing, holding onto memories that confused her and alarmed her.

Emma tried to sleep that night, hoping maybe in the morning it wouldn’t seem quite so crazy, but her dreams were filled with glimpses of those insane moments played over and over again. Panic that her life was ending would shoot through her, only to be ebbed away when the black wolf showed up to save her. She woke up time and again, tossing and turning in her sleep, until finally Emma gave up, rising with the sun and heading back with her mother to the hospital first thing.

Her hope was to see Neal and feel better. She was praying her brother would be in better shape, and that he’d distract her from what had happened. But being in that building again was like living through the trauma all over again. Emma was jumpy and on edge, and she didn’t know how she could make it through this morning, never mind the rest of the day. Her parents asked her if everything was all right, and again she had the chance to come clean and to tell them what had happened, but she just… couldn’t. It felt impossible to say, and though her parents could still tell that she was off, Neal was just as happy to see her as he ever was. He was still frail and fragile, but his smile when Emma was near lit up the whole room. That happiness Neal had became her anchor, and she stayed with him for hours, choosing to remain even when her parents were called away for more meetings with the doctors.

“Oh thank God, I found you guys.”

For a moment Emma thought she must be imagining things, because she heard her best friend’s voice clear as day. That was impossible though. Elsa was in Storybrooke, more than two hours away, but then Neal’s eyes went wide with excitement and he sat up in bed eagerly.

“Elsa! You came to see me! I knew you would come!”

“You did?” Emma asked of Neal, before turning back to Elsa, her eyes growing wet with tears. “You came?”

“I had to. I had a feeling this morning when I woke up that I should be here, so I hopped on the bus and here I am.”

Emma hugged her friend fiercely, trying desperately to keep from crying though her tears broke through all the same. Elsa held onto her tight, infusing in the embrace all the love and compassion they shared as best friends. It meant the world that Elsa was here, that she’d come without even having to be asked, and today of all days Emma needed her most. She’d been feeling so terribly alone, but now she had someone to confide in and to trust her true feelings with for the first time in forever.

“No Anna today?” Emma asked, wondering how in the world Elsa had managed to come alone. She and Anna were practically attached at the hip, and there was no doubt in Emma’s mind that Anna would want to be here to support them too.

“She doesn’t know I came. She’ll be furious when she finds out, but you know she hates to lie, and she’s just terrible at it. I couldn’t trust that she wouldn’t tell Mom and Dad we were coming, and I couldn’t risk not getting here.”

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Emma said as they both took a seat, with Elsa coming next to Neal and exchanging their special handshake they’d formed a few years back at Neal’s insistence.

“It was time,” Neal said, like that was the most obvious thing in the world and both Emma and Elsa laughed at his assured statement.

“Yeah buddy, it was. Sorry I took so long,” Elsa said and Neal accepted her apology as they got to talking.

Elsa filled Neal and Emma in on all the happenings in Storybrooke. Most of it Emma already knew from her daily calls with Elsa and Anna, but Neal ate every update up completely. He asked roughly a million questions and Emma swore she hadn’t seen him this perked up in weeks, but eventually he did get tired again. It was natural that he would get weary as the day went on, and though he had to succumb and go to sleep, he pleaded with Elsa not to go without saying goodbye. Elsa promised, and when Neal was definitely out, Elsa turned to Emma with an expectant look.

“Okay, so you’ve had some time now. You have to tell me what’s going on.”

“You mean other than this?” Emma asked, waving her hand around the room. She didn’t need to say the words aloud. It was obvious that Neal’s illness was taking a toll, but Elsa looked persistent, and Emma knew once her friend was on a case, she never let it go without answers.

“Yes. Something happened. I know it did, I can feel it.”

Emma debated for another moment whether or not she should say anything but eventually she confessed it all to Elsa. She told her about the wolves and the fighting, about her fear and the calm that came thereafter. She didn’t leave any of it out, even the weirdest parts about not being afraid of the second wolf, and when it was all over Elsa didn’t look at her like she thought she was crazy or she was judging her. She just took Emma’s hand in hers and spoke her mind.

“Oh my God, that sounds terrifying. I can’t believe that happened and in the city no less.” Elsa whispered the words but her alarm made it louder than it should have been. Emma worried they would wake Neal, but another look at her little brother showed he was still soundly sleeping.

“But you believe me, right?” Emma asked, needing her friend to believe that she wasn’t as crazy as she felt.

“Of course I do, no question.” Elsa said without hesitation. “But that doesn’t mean I have any idea why it happened. It must have been just a freak thing, but you think someone else would have seen them. They didn’t just disappear.”

“You’re right, they couldn’t have,” Emma said, standing suddenly, feeling like she had to go back to the alley. It was the only way she’d be able to prove what had happened really took place, since there had to be evidence. The battle between the animals out there was brutal, so there must be a trace of something. “Stay here a minute. Okay?”

“Stay? But where are you going?” Realization dawned on Elsa’s eyes a second after she asked the question and she soon stood too. “No Emma, you shouldn’t go down there alone. You can’t. You need -,”

“Elsa, what I need is for you to stay with Neal, okay? I don’t want him to be alone. I promised him he wouldn’t be and I don’t know when my parents will be done with their meeting.”

“But Emma -,”

“Elsa, please?” Emma begged and finally Elsa nodded.

“Fine. I’ll give you five minutes, but if you aren’t back by then I’m coming after you. Got it?”

Emma agreed before bolting from the room. She moved as fast as she could without running, and she wasn’t sure if it was because she had an eerie feeling retracing her steps from last night or because she was so desperate for answers. Either way she was out in the alley way again in no time. Again it was empty, though now she could see everything so clearly and she took care to keep the door open so she wouldn’t get locked out again. Then she moved forward, her breathing heavy and her hands shaking as she entered the space that was once so charged.

From what she could tell nothing looked out of place. The ground was strangely clean. There was no gravel even, and Emma was confused. She knew there should be signs of damage, and there should be a body somewhere too, but when she looked around the corner of the dumpster there was nothing. No blood, no body, nothing out of place. Emma felt even more confused than she had before and a prickle of foreboding climbed up her back. She looked back towards the entrance way, but there was nothing, only the occasional person walking by, completely unaware of her existence.

Emma shook her head, at a loss for words. There was really nothing here. So it had to be a dream right? She’d just had an episode – a mental break people called it. God she was crazy! She was actually losing her mind and –

From the corner of her eye she caught a glimmer of something and she turned to look at it more closely. Stooping down to the ground, she reached for the metal object that was left here, and when her fingertips first made contact she felt a flash of something she couldn’t quite name. It was a white hot surge of awareness, and the only thing she had to compare it to was the moment when she’d first seen the black wolf. It was foreign and bizarre, but also intriguing, and as Emma flipped the pendant over, letting the chain attached fall loosely over her hand, she marveled at the design she found, knowing, even if all signs spoke to the contrary that this was a part of the puzzle currently playing out in her mind.

After a few moments of taking in this mysterious artifact, Emma headed back inside, knowing if she lingered any longer she would have Elsa to answer to, but when she arrived back at the doorway of Neal’s room she was surprised by what she saw: somehow, in the time she’d been gone Elsa and Neal’s roles had been reversed. Her brother, for his part looked wide-awake and totally reenergized, and Elsa seemed to have fallen asleep at his bedside. Emma immediately moved towards her checking she was all right, and her friend came awake with a start.

“Emma? Oh crap, did I fall asleep or something?”

“Yeah you did. You were out like a light. Must have been the early bus ride.”

“It must be,” Elsa said, sounding like she wasn’t quite convinced even though it was the most rational explanation. “Wow I have a headache – what do you think the chances are they have acetaminophen in a hospital?”

Emma laughed at Elsa’s joke, taking comfort in the fact that her friend was returning to herself. “I’d say pretty darn good.”

“What’s acid-o-mini-fin?” Neal asked curiously and Emma responded with a brief explanation causing Neal to wrinkle his nose. “Medicine? But you don’t need medicine Elsa. You need grilled cheese. Emma says everything can be cured with grilled cheese and she knows everything.”

It touched Emma to hear her brother’s high opinion of her, and she tried to fend off the tears that formed in her eyes at his sweet words. God, he was the best kind of kid, and he just had to pull through. Luckily, today he seemed to be doing so well, especially since Elsa had gotten here.

“Did someone say grilled cheese?”

The three of them turned to find her parents holding bags of food that Emma knew would hold their favorite meal inside them and she watched as their eyes grew big at seeing Elsa, but just as Emma expected their shock turned to love and appreciation swiftly. For as much as Emma was a part of Elsa and Anna’s family, Elsa and Anna were just as much a part of hers…

“Knock knock,” two familiar voices said from the doorway of the exam room and Emma turned to find her best friends bearing similar bags to the ones in the memory she’d just been reminiscing over. “Did someone order grilled cheese and onion rings?”

“Uh, no,” Emma answered honestly. “But if you brought them to me I’ll love you forever.”

“Oh you already love us,” Anna said with an eye roll before pointing down the hall towards the back door. “We were thinking picnic tables today, since it’s so nice out.”

“Well first we were thinking we’d ask if you were free for lunch,” Elsa said with a smirk. “But then Anna decided that you would forsake any plans for a grilled cheese.”

“Historically yes, that has been the case,” Emma replied with a laugh cleaning up a bit before following her friends out into the beautiful summer afternoon.

“I said we shouldn’t assume, especially with the way things are going with a certain new neighbor,” Elsa supplied, making Emma blush at the mention of Killian. She tried to conceal it by brushing off some of the stray leaves from atop the picnic table that her parents had put back here years ago.

“And then I told Elsa that it’s not an issue because there was no way you’d plan a real date without telling us first.”

“So all those breakfasts just don’t count?” Emma asked trying to sound like she was teasing and not fully affected by this conversation, and Anna shook her head firmly as she took a seat.

“No ma’am they do not. Until that man sweeps you off your feet with a romantic dinner or trip or something, I’m not counting it. Diner pancakes do not a love story make. You need a proper date.”

Emma wanted to respond that all of those mornings spent with Killian kind of did feel like the start of a love story. She felt the same nerves and excitement every time she and Killian had shared breakfast that people claimed to feel on a really good date, but approaching footsteps on the path here at the side of the clinic stopped her. Emma guessed it would be Gus with an update, or maybe Belle coming to join them or something, but when she saw their guest was Killian she was struck with an instant anticipation that made her almost dizzy.

“Well speak of the devil, and he shall appear,” Anna chortled with delight. “Not that I think you’re the devil,” she explained to Killian. “You seem very nice and not at all hellish or evil.”

Emma knew that Anna’s words, though radically out there and kind of wild, would be seen as no threat to Killian. He had a good sense of humor, and he seemed to understand her bestie’s tendency to turn a strange phrase now and again. But she still felt relief when she heard his throaty chuckle and saw the smile on his face. She’d been fighting back a groan, and she exhaled a sigh of contentment as she looked back at him, finding herself hypnotized by his ocean-colored eyes.

“I appreciate your assessment, Anna. I’ll have you know I see no devilish qualities in you either.”

“Really? Because I do,” Elsa replied, her joking tone making everyone laugh again as Emma awaited whatever moment was about to come.

“So, what brings you out this way?” Anna asked, clearly digging for the information Emma wanted and Killian only spared her a second’s glance before looking back to Emma.

“I’m actually hear to ask Emma on a ‘proper’ date if you can believe it.”

“You are?!” Anna asked excitedly as Emma asked a question of her own. “God, you heard that?”

“Yes I did, and yes I am. I had thought it would go a bit differently,” Killian confessed, and Emma knew he was referring to their audience. It occurred to her then that she wanted things to be different as well, and as much as she loved Anna and Elsa, she didn’t want this moment to come with so little privacy. So when Killian looked like he might press on and still ask her, she grabbed his hand and tried to turn things in a new direction.

“Maybe we could just…” she trailed off looking back at her friends. “Could you give us a second?”

“Absolutely,” Elsa said for both Anna and Elsa. But where Elsa looked totally fine with Emma and Killian leaving for a bit, Anna looked downright disappointed. In this moment she looked like a little girl again, and Emma found she had to muffle a laugh as she pulled Killian towards the door to the clinic, and back inside, away from prying eyes.

“Well this is an unexpected pleasure. I finally get to see where you work.”

“Oh, right,” Emma said, forgetting that he hadn’t been here before. Over the past week he’d become the focus of so much of her time and thinking that Emma weirdly felt like he’d always been here. “Do you want a tour?”

“Maybe another time, love. I’ve already crashed your lunch with your friends. Probably best to keep things brief or we may face repercussions.”

“Good call,” Emma agreed as she led him into his office and shut the door behind them.

When they were finally alone Emma felt her already present excitement amplify and she waited to see if he’d let go of her hand or get right to the point, but he didn’t. Instead he moved closer to her, his hands running over her body in that now so familiar way. In their wake they left trails of arousal and desire, and Emma arched slightly closer, looking for something to take off this edge of need that he brought her every time. She looked up at him, her eyes tracing the curve of his lips, and she wanted him to kiss her right now. She wet her lips just thinking about it, and she swore she felt a growl come from his chest at the action. But instead of giving in, he held back, his hand coming up to cup her cheek in a sweat and steady gesture.

“I came here today with the intention of asking you out, love.”

His confession was laced in a husky tone that told Emma Killian was similarly in need of some kind of release. She honestly didn’t know if kissing would be enough. She wanted so much more, it was like her body and her common sense had disengaged from each other. They were at the clinic where she worked, and though the door was closed any number of interruptions could come, but it didn’t seem to matter to Emma. She still wanted more… only after a moment did she realize he was waiting for her to respond and she swallowed harshly, forcing the words out though her throat was tight with her emotion.

“So I gathered. Are you still planning to?” she asked, as her hands trailed lightly over his chest.

“I know I should, but I don’t think I can,” he said, surprising her, but before she could feel the sting of rejection he clarified. “I don’t think I can risk you saying no. I’m tempted just to tell you that we are going out, because I want you too much.”

“I won’t say no,” Emma promised, trying but failing to suppress the thrill of his words. They were dominant and demanding, but Emma knew he would never wield that power against her.  Killian was a man who took what he wanted, but he also respected her, cherished her even, and all his admission did was stoke the flames more and more.

“Thank God for that. So tonight then?”

“I’m off here at six. Pick me up at seven?”

“Aye, love. Nothing could keep me away.”

With that agreement settled between them, Emma arguably could have moved to return to her lunch. Her friends were waiting on her and she only had so long for a break before she had to return to her duties of the day. Yet she couldn’t let Killian go without taking some of what she wanted. She pulled him in for a kiss, but where she might have instigated the embrace, Killian soon took over. It was hot and heavy and full of inexplicable promise, and Emma wasn’t too proud to admit that she lost her head a little bit. Killian transported her out of time and space, and he made her forget herself and where they were until he finally let her go, reminding her that though they had to stop for now, there was always tonight.

“I don’t know if I can wait that long,” Emma confessed, knowing she should be embarrassed by saying that but she couldn’t seem to muster that emotion. She was too blissed out on good feelings to let anything bad in.

“It will be a trial for sure, but I believe you capable of anything, Emma, once you set your mind to it.”

The compliment washed over Emma and she brought him in for one last kiss. This one was fleeting and swift, but she couldn’t help herself, and from the gleam in his eyes, Emma knew Killian felt the same way. Without any more words he offered her his hand to lead her back outside, but when they left the office door, they were greeted by an unexpected face in the hallway.

“Emma?”

Shit! Her Dad was here. Shit! Shit! Shit!

“Uh… hi Dad,” she said awkwardly. “I thought you were out on a call.”

Emma didn’t know what to do here and she looked at Killian for some kind of reaction. The only thing she saw in his expression was openness. He was looking for her to lead and he cemented that by squeezing her hand slightly. Only then did she realize they were still holding hands, but as she looked to her father, she saw he had definitely noticed. Instinctively Emma let go, but she felt the loss the moment that she did, and she found herself regretting that decision.

“I was, but it didn’t end up being the emergency they thought.” Her Dad looked over to Killian for a minute, clearly sizing him up, and Emma repressed the urge to groan at how blatantly over protective he was being.

“Doctor Nolan, I’m Killian Jones. It’s nice to meet you, finally.” Killian offered his hand in greeting, and though Emma was scared her Dad wouldn’t accept it, he immediately did. Thank God – Emma didn’t know what she’d do if there was a scene right now. She was mortified enough as is.

“You too. I’ve heard a lot about you and I suspect we’ll have to have a talk at some point about your intentions.”

Okay, now Emma was really embarrassed. Killian had literally just asked her on a date and her Dad was pulling this? It was way too early for talks like that, right? It wasn’t fair to pressure Killian into anything. There was a good chance the date wouldn’t go well, or maybe Killian would change his mind. But just the thought of either of those things happening made Emma’s stomach sink painfully.

“Aye, I’m not going anywhere, sir, so I look forward to it.”

It was hard to mute her reaction to those words, but Emma tried her best. They filled her with this insurmountable hope, because she knew Killian was a good man. If he said he was staying he was staying, and if he said he’d someday subject himself to that talk with her Dad then that meant he really say a future for them. Thank goodness for that, because with every passing day Emma felt herself falling deeper and deeper into this and into him. Killian Jones was impossible to resist, and he proved that by being a rock and support for her even in this trying moment.

“All right, well now that you two have got that all figured out… I’m going to see Killian off and get back to my lunch. I’ll see you in thirty minutes?” she asked her Dad nodded before saying good bye to Killian and heading into the exam room. With that, Emma led Killian out the door once more.

“I’m so sorry about that. If I had known my Dad would be here…”

“It’s more than okay, Emma. I was glad to meet him. I imagine we’ll be seeing more of each other in the near future.”

“But we haven’t even had the first date yet,” Emma said with a smirk. “What if it goes terribly?”

“Will you be there?” Killian asked and Emma nodded, not tracking his logic until he spelled it out for her. “Then by definition it will be perfect.”

Emma felt herself melt a little more at his promise, and as he said his goodbyes she was tempted to go after him, but she had already made her friends wait too long. It hadn’t been any more than ten minutes or so, but still, they deserved her full attention, or at least as much of it as she could give.

“So… how did it go?” Anna asked innocently. Emma blushed and her friends both drew their conclusions immediately. “That good huh?”

“Oh yeah. He asked me out for tonight, and it was going really, really well, at least until we ran into my father.”

“Your Dad is here?!” both Anna and Elsa yelled and Emma nodded.  “God this just keeps getting better.”

“He’s going to want to talk about it,” Emma said, not knowing how to handle it if her father did ask her about Killian.

“Of course he is,” Elsa agreed. “But it’s going to be okay either way. Your Dad is a reasonable man over all. Just tell him what you want when you want, and remember, the day has to end eventually.”

And when it does, I’ll get to see Killian again, Emma thought to herself, feeling the rush of excitement and nerves all over again. And as the day went on, Emma held close to that anchor of excitement, wondering where they night might take them and what kind of magic a date with this man would bring to her world.

Post-Note: I cannot even tell you guys how excited I am for the date chapter. It’s been something I have been looking forward to for a while for a number of reasons, one of which being that the flashback is actually a happy one. Can you imagine?! Yes, you read that right, next chapter is basically a fluff fest, and it will be here in two weeks. Anyway I hope you enjoyed the story and I would love to know what you guys thought. Underneath the flashbacks and the present story, I’m putting in little crumbs of what’s to come, and they might be really obvious to you guys but as someone who never writes stories with any kind of twist or anything, it’s a big deal for me. Hope to see you all again in two weeks!

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#captain swan #captain swan fic #cs fic #cs ff #cs au #captain swan au #captain swan fluff #cs fluff #cs angst-lite #cs fanfic #emma swan #killian jones #cs shifter au #shifter!Killian #human!Emma #the whole storybrooke gang #CSSNS #captain swan supernatural summer #lost souls and reveries #lost souls au #lost souls 6