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couldyouspeakmyname · 1 year

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Shittily explain the plot of Beastars?

A'ight, bet.

Socially awkward wolf socially awkwards himself into a polyamorous relationship.

Dramatic twink deer dramatically twinks his way into becoming head of a lion Yakuza.

Domme rabbit is so done with both of these idiots, but does not control who she loves.

Best boi is sad, also may have a crush on socially awkward wolf and secretly writes 500k childhood friends to lovers fanfic.

Less socially awkward wolf is having strange and confusing new feelings about rabbit girl. Also twink deer and socially awkward wolf.

Holder of the only brain cell in the series is a himbo panda doctor who treats his patients by beating the shit out of them. Hey, there's only 1 brain cell.

Who's this? It's an alpaca. Is the alpaca important? Well yes, but actually no. Whoops, mystery dude just ate the alpaca. Bye, alpaca.

Lion Yakuza guy just tried to eat dramatic twink deer. Other lion yakuza guy shot him. He's dead now. Or just sleeping, and it was only a tranquiliser dart, depending on how much you like him. Either way, he's not around anymore.

Socially awkward wolf dressed in drag and flirted with dramatic twink deer. I can hear domme rabbit screaming in frustration in the background.

Hey, who's this? It's a sheep. Is the sheep important? Well no, but actually yes. Pretty boy sheep is horny all the time. And he likes having sex, too. Anyway, the sheep is flirting with socially awkward wolf. Oh, and there's a bear. No, not that kind, get your head out the gutter.

Socially awkward wolf and daddy bear are having a "my muscles are bigger than yours" stand-off. Pretty boy sheep has no time for them.

Whoops, socially awkward wolf and pretty boy sheep just told daddy bear they know he killed the alpaca. Whose name is Tem, apparently. Now daddy bear has apparently killed pretty boy sheep, and is fighting socially awkward wolf under a bridge.

Except that gets put on hold for a hot minute, because guess who? It's dramatic twink deer! And he's telling socially awkward wolf to put his meat in wolf's mouth. Daddy bear is understandably disturbed by this, and calls the fight off because they made the whole thing so weird.

Daddy bear: "I can excuse eating my best friend, but I draw the line at you eating your best friend!"

Pretty boy sheep is alive! And he called the cops. Now daddy bear's in jail, but it's okay, pretty boy sheep is going to visit him. And there's a possibility that some of those are conjugal visits, depending who you ask.

Despite the homoerotic consensual foot-eating that socially awkward wolf and dramatic twink deer engaged in, the latter is now marrying some random woman we've never heard of. Also, his shitty dad is dead. Or in a coma, but close enough.

Domme rabbit and girl wolf are having homoerotic wall-pinning encounters. That's enough of that, though. Let's see what sad labrador is doing.

He's eating onions and wearing socially awkward wolf's clothes. He is not handling this breakup well, and they weren't even a couple.

His roommates stage an intervention, and they visit socially awkward wolf, who has dropped out of high school to become Batman. Or WolfBatman, I guess.

WolfBatman reunites with his estranged grandpa, and then gets involved in hunting down a serial killer. There's a bunch of characters added here, but they're all NPCs with side-quests, so like any true gamer, WolfBatman ignores them.

WolfBatman is ripping his teeth out to apologise for...being a wolf? Weird. Anyway, we meet asshole horse! Asshole horse is a horse. He's also an asshole. But he's hot, despite being the same age as WolfBatman's grandpa, so we forgive him.

Now we meet a fruity hybrid. His name is Melon. He wears Hawaiian shirts. That tracks. His interests include candlelit dinners, long walks on the beach, and murder. He shoots WolfBatman, but apparently WolfBatman (and all hybrids?) have magic anti-bullet powers, so he survives.

Sad labrador is going to have a whole new bunch of things to be sad about. Meanwhile, dramatic twink deer is now CEO deer, and is vomiting at the thought of having sex with his wife. He goes on to talk publically about how much he loves the taste of meat in his mouth, but is hustled off stage quickly before he can ask WolfBatman to call him some time.

Whoops, it's the final countdown...wait, no, confrontation. WolfBatman, asshole horse, CEO deer and the lion yakuza, plus some of the NPCs from earlier, have all gathered for a day of depravity. Unfortunately, this is not as fun as it sounds.

Instead of an orgy, there is murder. Or attempted murder, at least. Fruity hybrid tries to kill WolfBatman, but rolls a Nat 1 and ends up shooting himself instead. WolfBatman is sad about Fruity hybrid's death. He's the only one.

We jump to several months or years in the future, it's not clear when. WolfBatman and CEO deer have been named Beastars, which is supposed to mean something, but they kind of forgot to tell us what it means. Domme rabbit and girl wolf are still waiting for them to pull their heads out their asses. Sad labrador is less sad, but still hasn't had his back blown out by WolfBatman like he wanted.

We're told this is a happy ending, despite WolfBatman drowning in angst and CEO deer being trapped in a loveless marriage. I disagree, but unfortunately I have no power to change the ending.

Unless I use fanfiction. A lot of people do that. It's usually a thinly-veiled excuse to have their favourite characters smooching. It's a good excuse.

Anyway, that was Beastars.

Amazing ♥️

#Long post #sleepover saturday

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sharpen-jadescythe · 3 years

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Operation Kitten, 2

Part Two: Sharpen attempts to match wits with Mathias Shaw, himbo vs. spymaster. And we find out about Agent Kitten!

I trusted my gut again and went with it. I had every right to still be furious about the way things were run in the SI:7 Seals so I really put it to him. “But I haven’t seen these values in the SI:7 Seals. Not anywhere. Even if I did join to help you clean things up or whatever you’re implying. Not within these four walls, not in these barracks, not in any of the instructors, and Elune knows, there wasn’t a decent fool among the other recruits. Those ethics just aren’t there.”

“Mack. Go get us some water.” Mathias Shaw glanced up at the giant Kul Tiran man standing there, glowering at me.

Big Mack shifted his feet, gave a final grunt my way, then he nodded to Mathias and left us alone in the interrogation room.

Mathias arched an eyebrow at me. For a spy guy, he can come across as very phony. Or, dramatic. Perhaps he thinks it’s cute. You know, cleverer than the average bear, making fun of the profession he’s fully versed in? A way for him to keep things light. And so maybe it is cute, okay fine.

Mathias pointed at me again, as if still haggling over that beat down nag he was trying to sell me. “I hope you’re not thirsty, Sharp. You’re not really getting any water—”

“Look. I can follow things at least that far. So what’s up? What’s this big secret you want to tell me, alone?”

“It’s on a need-to-know basis. Big Mack deals with recruits and he’s high up the chain. He does know, but it’s best if he’s not seen as knowing. Locked up in a room for a really long time with a so-called failed recruit? Too obvious. That is, if any of the others are as decent as you proved to be, and they get suspicious.”

“…Okay. What?”

“That, in itself, was the test. We’re looking for fit men and women, for tough people. Yes, that’s true. But we’re also recruiting people who genuinely espouse the values of the Alliance. People who would serve because they care, not necessarily for a paycheck. A lot of stellar men and women apply, yes. And some of them do come from connections that are already inside the Seals, milking us for what we’ll let them get away with while they do important work. However, we can’t ignore that kind of talent, either. If a cousin of King Anduin Wrynn or Jaina Proudmoore walks through these doors, can we really turn away that magical or mental ability running through their veins? But once they get through those doors, we take a closer look. We take people who show us they are far more than pedigree. Only very good men and women. Sharpen, you are such a one.”

I have to admit, Jiroki? I was still completely lost.

Mathias cleared his throat, “So that Dwarf? You know the one, you actually almost blew his cover once, telling Hael he was trying too hard. Hael was our a plant. Hael tried to keep you up with drinking the night before the exam because we asked him to. You wouldn’t fall for it, though. And that death-defying swim across icy waters? Hael can swim like a fish! He was never in any danger, even that shark of his was Hael’s backup.”

“Wait—that was his shark? His hunter pet?!”

Mathias gave a proud smirk, “Ho, yes. And Hael knows a good recruit when he sees one, a fellow hunter. Sharpen, he liked you. He was hoping you’d give in and try to save his life out there in the water—or rather, at least what appeared to be an emergency situation to you. We were really hoping you’d pass that part of the test, that you weren’t like the others. Life first, serving the Light. That is what the Alliance stands for, the greater good. I was willing to make an allowance, that perhaps you were just afraid for your own life. You’d passed all the other tests with flying colors.

“So wait. Milnon Anaar that Draenei? And Felicia Graves, the half mermaid—”

“She’d be a quarter-mermaid then, Sharpen.”

“They both failed the test? But they were superstars. They really, honestly failed?”

“All of them did. Sharpen, everyone in your class got cut.”

I didn’t think, I threw my arms up and let out a celebratory ‘Woop!’ before realizing I’d done it.

Mathias smiled at me. It was the first real smile that I remember seeing on that man.

“Yes, well done. Well done, Agent Sharpen. We recruited from excellent stock. You had the right values all along—we would have preferred that you saved Agent Hael out in the arctic ocean instead of punching him in the face. But then again, you punched me in the face as well and, once I came to, and after I put certain accounts together from those who witnessed things on the beach, it made more sense that you were experiencing a kind of moral outrage. A breach of the ethic code that you yourself live by and that we also live by here at SI:7.”

“…Woah.”

“It may take a few years, and maybe even not that long for the ones using us for fame and fortune to eventually retire. But I’d say our recruitment process that sifts the wheat from the chaff is well in place and functioning. Sharpen, you’re in.”

I thought things over fully this time, “I guess if you’re allowed to punch Mathias Shaw and still be an SI:7 Seal, that is a good sign.”

“If you tell your buddies that’s the way to pass the test, I will punch you where the sun don’t shine, Sharpen Jadescythe, and leave you there.”

I shook my head at him, “Nice to have the honor, but I still don’t like this.”

“Why not?”

“You can’t place all that burden on me, the man to fix your organization. Or other people like me. New recruits, naked to the process. I hit you in the face and screamed that I was a decent person who didn’t want to put up with it, that’s what it took? And all those amoral guys at the top—those are the agents calling the shots. Those are the ones I’ll be dropped off in who-knows-where with, following their orders. This is still a corrupt organization. And I’m supposed to go and risk my life for you? No thank you.”

Mathias scowled rubbed his temples. Jiroki, you and him have that in common, it’s kind of cute. Well, coming from you, it’s cute.

He was gruff, “I can see your sister’s influence coming through. Sharpen, please don’t throw this once-in-a-lifetime chance away? Please, don’t do that. A lot of good can be done.” He growled, “I don’t want to call you a himbo for a second time.”

I stood up right then and there. “I want to leave.”

“And do I have to bring up your questionable connections with the Horde, especially through a certain burlesque troupe that claims to be faction-neutral, but we both know such a thing doesn’t exist.”

“You’re trying to blackmail me?”

“Doing one mission for the Seals is a great way to confirm your loyalty for the Alliance.”

“Walking out of here and not punching you in the face again is another way I can think of! In any case, I’m not on trial here, I didn’t commit any crimes. You can’t hold me here.”

“Unless—”

“If you want to bring up in a Boralus court that I punched you, Mathias Shaw, in the face, and tht you let me? And then you were laid flat out on the beach for several hours before they got the courage to move you? Heck, that’s your call.”

Mathias cursed under his breath. “Sit, please. At least for this last part before you go.”

I did, who knows why. Maybe because Mathias had pulled a file out of the box on the table, and I thought it might be about me. I saw writing in Darnassian on the front.

“You tried to keep a man here by corrupt means. You tried to blackmail me—now isn’t that the very thing we were just talking about? Call me a himbo again if you dare, Mathias. But I listen to my instincts first and foremost. They’ve kept me alive so far, they’ve kept me sane. And I sure sniffed you out, didn’t I? This isn’t a solid organization. It isn’t ethical what you all do here. And don’t give me that crap about how spies need to cross the line sometimes, I’ve heard it all before. Whatever you want to get over on me, it’s not going to work. Now what is that thing?”

“Oh, you’ve heard it before, have you? From your sister?” Mathias passed the dark blue folder over to me. “We do trust you, Sharpen. We want to extend some trust as a starting point. Some months ago, a man came in here just like you did. Another Night Elf man who had the same concerns. I told him, as I’m telling you now, that he could choose his own assignments, work with who he wanted. Especially if he wanted to avoid the corrupt higher-ups. That means you’ll have sort of… grunt work, and none of the real thrilling stuff when working as an SI:7 Seal isn’t a vacation and you’re bound to tangle with personalities, but still—I offered him a clean, good foundation to start with.”

“This his file?”

“Go on, open it. You’ve already signed a nondisclosure contract with us, so I know you won’t blab anything. I’m betting though, that you won’t want to.” Mathias watched me flip through the pages inside, he waited for me to get the gist of it. And that would have been easy to read all over my face. “… Night Elf druid Silas Freedale, one of our more recent and our very best, the excellent swimmer, he went off to Ashenvale to find something extremely important for the Alliance, and indeed for your people.” Shaw crossed his arms again, “But since he never came back, we need someone, someone incorruptible with a real vested interest, to go and find out what happened to him.”

“Is he dead?”

Mathias stared at me.

“Oh! I’m finding that out, then.” I turned a few more pages. “That is, if I even take this assignment. If I even agree to become a Seal.”

“What would you like your codename to be, Raorin?”

I narrowed my eyes at him.

“You could keep Sharpen. It already sounds like a mysterious spy name. Or even the name of a whole operation. Or, you could go by Agent Jadescythe.”

I frowned, “Flattery? That, I can appreciate. That’s a little less slimy… A world tree! This is about a new world tree? And it’s called Operation Kitten?”

“That’s right. Because our deep cover catform agent most likely got stuck up the very world tree he was supposed to find. The tree hasn’t even been named yet. We just know that he located it, that he chose to go up. But no details on where or exactly when that was. There were… stories about this new world tree for a long time before Agent Kitten found it, from your own druids.”

“My personal druids?”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to lump all the Night Elves together. But the druids that work in Ashenvale, tireslessly to save it from the Horde ravaging the land, ruining the forest, they have a pretty reliable oral tradition that says there is another world tree growing right on the border between Ashenvale and the Barrens. Do you know how important such a stronghold could become? The raw power of a world tree itself—if we could find it, and fortify it, your people might be safe from the Horde, forever.”

“How can anyone be safe from the Horde forever? Not unless the Horde is neutralized. Is that how you see it? There are plans in this file outlining a full scale assault on the Barrens, extending as far as the Crossroads. And once you control that, it’s not long till Orgrimmar is in a pincer, with Alliance forces on both sides.”

“There go those dangerous Horde leanings again—”

“Did it ever occur to you that peace might be an option? Respecting the Horde’s side of things, while they respect ours? Perhaps a trade agreement so that they cull the right trees and not the wrong ones? Their people need to eat and survive too, you know. And that’s harsh land they took on, in that part of Kalimdor.”

Mathias let out a low whistle, that I could not be more wrong.

I insisted, “And don’t look at me like that, kingdoms have shared borders before. Just look at Ironforge, you know the Dwarf lands? Stormwind and the Dwarves get along fine.”

“I’ve been told the Night Elves, you younger ones, are bound to have these upside down world views.”

“With respect. I am three hundred years old, sir.”

“And you act like you’re twenty. Like the conflicts these past few decades didn’t happen to you, personally, at all. Like you aren’t affected. The Horde is not a sovereign kingdom, Sharpen. It is a mess. It is an invading army that came to Azeroth to destroy life and civilization on this planet for the Burning Legion, reduce it to rubble no different from Outland, or Argus. The Horde did not manage it because the Alliance stood up to them. End of story. And don’t tell me things have changed since Thrall or Vol’jin or damn her—Sylvanas! As if Garrosh wasn’t the big tip off, and you talk about ethics not being present.” Mathias raised his voice at me, he was so frustrated, “We are life and they are death! Do you understand me, Agent Sharpen?”

“And do you understand that if I do take this assignment, I’m not killing any Horde unless I have to. I’m not killing anyone unless I need to.”

“If you go to the last page, you’ll see we’ve actually asked you for the same. We don’t want you to engage any Horde at all if you can help it. We don’t want them finding a world tree of all things. A death that doesn’t look natural gets investigated and then that will, in time, blow our cover. It could take years to gain control of that tree, and we don’t need a bunch of evidence piling up that it exists and the Alliance wants it that badly, in the meantime.”

I read that part, pinned to the end with a paperclip like it was an after thought. ‘No Horde deaths, no Horde engagement’ it said.

Mathias was very impatient now that he knew I’d read it all. “…Well?”

I told him, “I would come home successful, because I would. I’d find this lost feral druid and then the Alliance would take over that World Tree. And then you would use it to cut off the rest of the Barrens, cut off the Tauren from the Orcs finally. Right?”

“What comes next really is up to King Anduin.”

“But you’ll be in his ear like a buzzing hornet, and he’d have to do what you insist is the best way to ‘neutralize the threat’.”

“Look, Sharpen. I don’t see what the problem is? You’re a soldier for the Alliance. You’ve killed Horde before. You know that it’s essential.”

“In a war, in a battle. I say, we could also use this new world tree to prevent more death and suffering. To end conflicts.”

“So you say.”

“World trees are not about destroying. You want it so badly, but you don’t know the first thing about it.”

“You’re wrong. Do I need to state the obvious?” Mathias meant our tree. Our beloved Teldrassil that was lost. He leaned in, his leather gear creaked, “And what do you think the Horde would do, under Warchief Sylvanas, if they found a second world tree so close to their doorstep?”

“More emotional blackmail? That’s incredibly low, considering we Kaldorei never had enough support from the Alliance in Ashenvale in the first place!”

“It isn’t that, Agent Sharpen. But I do want you to see, somewhere between your values and mine, your world where people can play nice with monsters—you’re a hunter, maybe that’s where it comes from? Or perhaps it was because practically your entire family was down near Suramar of all places when Teldrassil was attacked. Which I always found interesting considering your sister’s intelligence work. And your family’s assassin “friend” Alessandre…”

“Don’t go there. Don’t you dare. I faced extinction along with the rest of my people on that day.”

“All I want you to see is that you don’t have a choice, Agent Sharpen. You must get to that world tree first before the Horde does, however King Anduin decides to handle things.”

I crossed my arms, “I also wonder why Tyrande, who has led our people since the beginning and is a walking agent of good, has been for thousands of years, now has to listen to the counsel of a boy Anduin’s age. Or any Human’s age.” I did have a point. Mathias let me have that. “I want the findings shared with Malfurion and Tyrande first, before anything goes to Anduin.”

“No, Sharpen. I can’t promise you that.”

“And you can’t trust that I won’t do it myself, in that case, considering my family connections. It’s amazing you’re not going through Darnassus to start with.” I tossed the file back to him, let some of the papers fly out. One whipped up into his face. I had pretty good aim, I was proud. “Those are my terms, Mathias Shaw.” Then, I thought better of it, “When I am done, I will deliver my mission report in a meeting with King Anduin and Tyrande and Malfurion, all of them in the same room. In Stormwind Keep.”

Mathias shrugged, looked elsewhere. “If I can pull them all together and their schedules are free.”

“For a new world tree? Now who’s playing dumb.”

Mathias scrunched his face up, as he fit all the papers back into the blue file with gold Darnassian lettering. “Fine. You and I don’t need to agree, Sharpen. You just need to be able to take orders. And, it’d raise the profile of this effort anyway, to do an official handover. You have a deal.” Mathias offered his hand to shake.

“I’ll see you in Stormwind when this is all done, then. I’ll hand over Agent… Kitten, then.”

I admit I grinned like a clever cat, myself.

#operation-kitten #stories #si7-seals

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azrcxlfatale · 4 years

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under the cut you’ll find saint’s intro, its just a brief run down for now until i get bio pages up but it should help get a sense of the boyo all the same !! he is gentle and friend shaped is all i can say ajjdfg. THIS HAS NOW BEEN UPDATED WITH LIKE FIVE EXTRA LIL MORE CURRENT HEADCANONS! [ they r just like for his own growth nothing major has happened with saint and he’s still fundamentally the same as he was bc he’s always been a more laidback and less tragic muse but feel free to read em bc they do help contextualise how he’ll be career wise and with grandmami] :

CHWE SAINT:

so for the best part of his life saint was raised with his ‘grandmami’ as he terms her, but she’s better known to the whole island as ajumma solmi. for this reason he’s very doting toward her and a real grandma’s boy. he bakes with her often and they can often be found on street corners selling cheap priced but some of the finest flowers to the citizens because it’s grandmami’s tradition and its mostly done in hope to uplift the islanders and bring joy to their day in a small way and act of love.

when i say doting i mean doTInG, he will help her in and out of chairs, help her cross streets, hold the groceries for her as she crosses, open doors for her even if grandmami insists he stops fussing because ffs saint ur making me look ancient and i’ll have u know i am still fighting fit and could knock any idiot on his ass with a fliCk of my finger. ajdhf. she is v fiery, if saint is like the picture of elegance and good manners then grandmami is the sTARK contrast. she has one hell of a potty mouth and just a no time for ur shit attitude. if anything saint is keeping her in line, not the other way around.

his quirk is warp gate. he rlly just uses it to entertain himself mostly and help give his pals quick escapes when a prank of some sort has gone wrong. he can basically create portals out of a dark fog which can either be emitted through his breath or openings at the end of his fingers which he can activate, anyone can also use his portals to travel so long as he’s given them permission.

he just exudes sunshine rlly. is well known round the island for his out of this world smile which has been known to charm many. he is a very eligible and sought after bachelor but saint is like...not interested mostly bc he just like has no romantic awareness ahdhfhf not bc he doesn’t want it. and also bc he doesn’t like the way it’s mostly super young girls and guys just like awestruck by him. it feels a little too much like he’s a collective childhood crush by his groupies so yeah he is OBLIVIOUS.

very humble and incredibly polite. just really down to earth whenever spoken to but being raised by an elderly person kinda makes u a little outdated, for this reason saint is kind of demure and bad at conversation mostly due to the fact he can easily talk for hours about his plans for baking with grandmami later, the book he read her this morning, the lovely walk they took in that gorgeous spot which he rlly recommends etc but he is god awful at talking about like typical young people stuff.

lot of ppl think he plays hard to get, this is not true, saint just fr does not know how to fuckin speak and is the most oblivious person in the world to how to flirt, he’s easily flustered but bad at knowing when he’s being flirted with or if this person is just rlly nice and is usually too shy and respectful to rlly push luck by flirting in response hfhfjkg. USELESS.

very 70′s/80′s aesthetic bby boy, sweet summer child. he is obsessed with old classic black and white films, had a collection before he moved to the island which he misses like everyday but luckily he has memorised ten million quotes. also collected records. obsessed with anything retro, is a collector of gaming merch. but he didn’t get to sneak much to the island :-( the only thing he rlly snuck was a small record stash. liked roller skating, bowling, drive in movies. dresses very retro but refined and classy with lots of layering. rlly good knowledge of classic literature.

most likely to find him at the arcade in the funzone now on the island, he is a master at all the games but esp the old retro ones, usually goes early morning or late evening so he can spend hours uninterrupted on them and beat his high score everyday a bit more. if not there then he’ll be at zen’s computer gaming instead. he likes all tech really but prefers retro, he’s still figuring out modern. before coming to the island he was rlly getting into VR. if he’s not in either of these places, he’ll be on the beach in a volleyball match or doing a jog. still v much into his sports.

ultimate sike power cause people think he looks like ur typical jock fuckboy but jokes on u he is pure of heart and dumb of ass himbo just blessed with ethereal looks, he is the breed of good lil boyo and that is all.

obsessed with milkshakes and popcorn at the diners if he’s ever there u can guarantee that is what he is snacking on or treating himself to. his weakness is churros he fucken thinks that shit SLAPS. he’ll do anything if the prize is churros. sMH someone help his diet. also loves fiddling with the jukeboxes there ajdjd.

has two pet geckos one is peach colored and called zelda, the other is black and white leopard spotted and named zeus and he also has a chonk of a fluffy grumpy white cat called yoshi. he is the best. saint is a huge animal lover but probably still not on nyx’s level of dog worshipper.

weeb. not as big of a one as nyx but he likes haikyuu, kuroko no basket, given, fruits basket, free! and yuri! on ice. he is very into anything that is slice of life or sports anime.

has the nickname ‘koda’ bc of the movie brother bear, nicknamed after the lil baby bear cause he just reminds people of a baby bear ahdhd.

he studies art, spends half his life in the studio working, big art nerd. once he gets in the work mode, he just does not stop for anything but water and snacks and goes at it all day into half the night. usually does big projects bc he loves a challenge. mostly paints, sometimes sketches. u know those vids of people mixing paint colors like a swatch of gold and turquoise? saint fuckin loves those so bad unf he does that all the time to calm himself.

still lives with grandmami currently, he’s looking at getting his own place bc everyone tells him if he ever wants to have his own life then he needs to but he’s just v anxious about leaving grandmami on her own bc she getting older by the day and she’s all he has sO she cannot get hurt!!

also in a bit of a dilemma with his art bc he kinda wants to make something out of it, like maybe teach some classes sort of thing and use it more as a career but right now he does not have the confidence in his ability and is mostly just doing it for fun and as a calming thing ( he’s an idiot he’s rlly fucken good pls someone make him take himself seriously )

never cusses but does say bitchin a lot, only ever uses fuck in bed basically so if u ever hear him say it then u know something next level has gone down bc saint refuses to swear even if he stubbed his pinky toe.

looks like a cinnamon roll but HE FUCKS!! boy is a kinky freak however saint has no shame or embarrassment like he will discuss it as casually as a discussion of what to have for dinner not bc he is like lewd but purely bc to him its rlly natural and like another form of art and he does not get the embarrassment or secret nature of it all like it is just factual to him that we come into the world like that and ppl enjoy it sometimes ajsj.

gardening enthusiast!! has a fascination with studying plants and insects tbfh. still uses 70′s and 80′s kewl kid slang like unironically someone help him pls. sjjdjf. cute bonus fact: has freckles all over his shoulders and down his back. UWU.

COUPLE OF CONNECTION IDEAS OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD??:

i would love for him to have a muse for art and/or to be someone’s muse. also and maybe interchangeably someone to kinda be his art mentor and be like saint u could pursue this fr if thats ur dream, then do it pls share this talent dont let ART DIE!!

someone he does gardening and insect studies with who gets his nerdy enthusiasm over it.

a regular who gets flowers from him and grandmami, maybe he makes a special bouquet for them every day which always has a different meaning in the flower language bc he is soft like that ajjfl

someone who he can take on loads of cute lil platonic diner dinner dates bc he is a huge foodie as we can tell. this one is super fun like I imagine they scam tf outta restaurants that are over priced and for the elite by being like we all kno married couples or people getting engaged, celebrating anniversaries etc tend to get better deals on their meals. so he’s essentially doing this one bc he likes ur muses company and enthusiasm for food but also bc it means cheaper high quality meals for both and a guaranteed good time.

someone to nerd out with him over classic literature or films bc that would be hella cute

maybe someone who is also close with his grandmami and rlly loves spending time with her as well so he kinda trusts them to take care of her and trusts their judgement when they r like saint chill let the lady live okay go and do ur own shit akskf

he usually jogs alone but it would be cool for him to have someone to do that with and like table-tennis and shiz cause he just loves fitness activities and active leisure stuff too.

maybe someone who is tryna teach him a little more about how to uH TALK LIKE SOMEONE HIS DAMN AGE AND STOP BEING SOME RETRO MAN STUCK IN MODERN TIMES AJDJD

UPDATES:

so a lot about saint hasn’t overly changed because like he just is and has always been a very wholesome laidback boyo but just a few bits of like additional info for his personal growth can be added:

he’s owner and manager of the florist now, grandmami is also there most of the time and handles a lot of stuff when she’s feeling up to it but with her getting more tired more easily from her illness saint needs to head everything really.

he grew up in a neighbourhood on hosu which like consisted of his entire street pretty much being full of his aunts and uncles so now like it’s a street just littered with all his tiny cousins who like to follow him about everywhere and play ball games etc on the street with him and kinda take it over shs. you can hear their joyful playing from like streets over it’s very cute.

his mother gave him up when she realised she was pregnant with him and too young to raise him and that it would hinder her from pursuing the life she wanted with his father. saint doesn’t hold any resentment for her choice, it only bothers him that his grandma has always had a serious illness since the early days of talks of her having no choice but to take him on and that despite this his mother allowed him to be left to her care and another burden on her when she was already so ill.

grandmami is now at a point where she’s hanging in there but she won’t have long left and saint is essentially now her live in carer till her final days which is hard af for him but he refuses to let it show. he’s not sure how he’ll function when he loses her. right now he’s trying to extend the florist business into a wellness one as well and more of an apothecary so he can keep himself stable and busy.

this is more just a cute fun fact but he’s a Christmas Eve baby. uwu lil boyo was born on the night before Christmas bc of course he was sdjdj.

#quirks:intro #listen saint just makes me think of that fucken scott mccall meme #WHERE R U GETTIN UR JUICE SAINT??!!#HIM INCREDIBLY CONFUSED: MY GRANDMAMI DOES ALL THE GROCERY SHOPPING???#SDJFJKF

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dragons-bones · 5 years

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Am I going to be that person? I am going to be that person. Aymeric for the character ask meme. :)

(Blessings on your house, Tina. :3)

First Impression:

Before I ever played FFXIV, I saw a screenshot of him (I don’t remember where or how) and went, “That one. That one right there. I want that one.” Fast forward to Patch 2.4 with That Face Plus That Voice and it was all, “THIS ONE. THIS ONE THIS ONE THISONETHISONETHISONEIPICKTHISONE.”

Impression Now:

*touches his face* hubband

No, but seriously, he’s loyal, determined, firmly believes in guiding Ishgard to a better future, works his ass off, is comfortable and talented with command both militarily and politically (though it’s clear he’d really rather not deal with the latter), and is not shy at all with how starry-eyed he is over the Warrior of Light. He is A Good Boy. He is also hot and has a voice of liquid chocolate. 10/10 would marry.

Favorite Moment:

Oh goddamnit, I don’t want to pick just one… Fine. The date dinner at the beginning of Patch 3.4. I’ve never seen him so relaxed. He giggled, for fuck’s sake, he giggled and I died. And the way he just lights up when the Warrior of Light suggests taking him on an adventure. Just. That face. That voice.

Idea for a Story:

Aymeric de Borel TAKES A GODDAMN BLOODY VACATION. It’s in fact in my WIP pile, and it involves locking him out of his office, yanking his ceremonial armor off him, and throwing him onto the next airship to Limsa Lominsa. It also involves bodily hauling Synnove “Sleep Is For The Weak And I Must Science” Greywolfe out of her office, food porn (duh, it’s me), and a cabin on the beach.

Unpopular Opinion:

…I think it’s more an unpopular opinion of a fandom trend, but I don’t actually like the (mostly lovingly said from all that I’ve seen, admittedly) trend of referring to him as a himbo. Aymeric is in no way dumb as a brick, he’s just naive about some things and thinks the best of people! :(

Favorite Relationship:

With Synnove. *coughs* Sorry, couldn’t help myself. But on a more serious note… the one he has with Count Edmont. Obviously Aymeric had no personal relationship with the Archbishop, and the implications about the Borels seems to be that they passed while he was still a very young man (at least, that’s my interpretation of what little info we have, I might need to go re-read the lore book), and it’s rough not having a parental figure to go even when you’re an adult. And. Just. Edmont outright says, “I could not bear to mourn the passing of another son” at the end of 3.1. Like. OH MY GOD. ELF DAD OUT HERE ADOPTING EVERYONE. I would really, truly love to see Aymeric be more fully folded into the Fortemps family (which means: suddenly, brothers.)

Favorite Headcanon:

That he prefers the bow to the sword. This is based off A) That Scene in Patch 3.2 and B) the short story “Through Fire and Blood” from Tales of the Dragonsong War. It’s something I play with a bit in my fics (see “Grenades and Dragonkillers” especially, but it gets a nod in a couple of my other fills from last year’s FFXIV Writes). Naegling we know was a gift from his foster father, and it’s probably considered much more appropriate for the Lord Commander of the Temple Knights to be wielding a sword, but for whatever reason, I really like the idea that Aymeric is much more comfortable with a bow in hand and a quiver on his back.

#ravenclawnerd #dt answers things #meme stuff #final fantasy xiv #aymeric de borel #the bae #the best bae

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