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hey-hamlet · 4 years

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BNHA AU Ideas: Grand Design

Also on AO3!

TL;DR:

If you asked the Heroics Commission why they created Izuku, you'd get an answer pretty close to the truth. The rising power of quirks was making them nervous, and All Might won't live forever.

What they aren't mentioning is the fact that they don't like All Might either.

He's kind and good and dedicated to people over the country. The man will break countless laws to save a single life and has defied the heroics commission on many occasions - something they can't punish him for in any way without being slammed by the media.

So, they come up with a plan.

if you asked the heroics commission why they created Izuku, you'd get an answer pretty close to the truth

the rising power of quirks was making them nervous, and all might won't live forever. 'there might be another quirk as powerful as all mights just around the corner for the heroes' you might say. 'we're just taking away the 'might'' they'd reply

but what they aren't mentioning is the fact that they don't like All Might either.

he's kind and good and dedicated to people over country. the man will break countless laws to save a single life and has defied the heroics commission on many occasions - something they can't punish him for in any way without being slammed by the media

so, they come up with a plan

"if we can't control all might, we make the next all might ourselves"

sure, the doctor who does the work for them is a little shady, but it can't be helped. quirk genetic experiments were recently made illegal in a case spearheaded by nezu himself. nezu doesn't exactly agree with a total ban and is encouraging regulation in place of a blanket stop, but its been years and the laws are going nowhere fast

maybe the man has some shady connections to some shady people all too eager to replace all might? oh well, it can be managed

a pregnant woman called Inko Midoriya shows up at a hospital, dead on arrival, with the baby inside her still clinging to life?

well.

thats just convenient, isn't it?

they extract the child, pronounce the mother dead and whisk the child away into 'foster care', or the arms of the good doctor

when he's revealed to be quirkless? at first the commission is dubious but the doctor assures them this is perfect. he doesn't have to base the quirk off anything, it can be built from the ground up, as exactly the quirk the commission wants

izuku is born 3 months premature to a dead mother and one month later has a strong enough combination of quirks to take down all might when he grows up.

there is a bit of a catch, though. due to the whole 3 months early and dead mother thing, his constitution isn't the greatest, leaving him pretty sickly. the doctor assures him he'll be much better when he grows up (he’s lying). still - it’s a long while until their creation will be an adult. they could let him grow up normally in a nice house, only to pounce on him when he's grown a little stronger

but a chance of letting their perfect child slip away? nope. they resolve to train him as soon as he can crawl.

A few variations of this AU bc I had loads of quirk ideas before I settled on one - Knock Off For All: Izuku has a quirk as similar to OFA as was possible to create without being able to stockpile, complete with the achy breaky bones (no extra quirks) - Power Set: Izuku has a set of the most useful quirks the doctor could think of, ala USJ nomu (Shock nullification, Regeneration, Super Strength, etc) - Midorigiri: Izuku has a powerful combination quirk like a certain cloud mist dude. Probably either a shock absorption + redirection quirk / all 4 elemental types / guardian angel: wings, flight, hard light construct, healing - All for Naught: Izuku has a knock off of All for One that lets him perma copy 5 quirks at a time

So, Guardian Angel is the quirk I’m going with, mostly for the Hawks parallels. They end up basically being raised with each other, hawks jokingly calling Izuku his little brother. He almost cries when Izuku asks what that is.

Izuku’s quirk allows him to fly with a set of wings (he has hollow bones to facilitate this), can create hard light constructs; the more complicated the shape the harder it is and was originally classified as a forcefield quirk before Izuku got creative with it, and gives him the ability to heal.

All abilities excluding flight are based on the amount of ambient light. The brighter it is, the stronger his constructs and the better he can heal. His blood glows. Make of that what you will.

The problem being that while his quirk/s are strong, Izuku himself is very weak. He has chronic anaemia, difficulty putting on weight, a heart murmur, weak lungs, etc. the HA don’t care at all and make him train until he can’t walk.

From birth till 7 Izuku has no contact with people outside the facility, whereupon he is promptly dumped into a public school for 5 days a week. The education he gets there isn’t important, he’ll learn what he needs at the facility. What they do deem as important is A, creating a paper trail for the kid and B, socializing him somewhat.

People flock to him for his quirk, cementing what they always told him. “All of your worth is in your quirk. You have an obligation to save others.”

Plus, they’ve told him he wasn’t born like everyone else, he was created. Different, artificial, inhuman, those where all words used to describe him at the facility. He finds it difficult to make friends.

He forms a strange almost friendship with Bakugo as the only other kid with a super powerful quirk in the school, even if it’s more of a support quirk than anything else. Izuku silently heals Bakugo when he gets into fights, Bakugo snarls at anyone who makes Izuku too uncomfortable. It’s odd, but it works.

Izuku’s personality is similar to canon in the fact he's the same person but it’s a little jumbled.

He’s even less trusting of adults than canon which is saying something, but he doesn’t have canons blatant disregard for authority. If he breaks a rule he makes sure he doesn’t get caught because the punishments he’s had before left scars.

His anger runs a little closer to the surface but he feels like a bad person for feeling any emotion that isn’t positive so he crushes it down under forced optimism. Izuku shows his anger rarely and when he does, it’s quiet and vicious.

If an authority figure tells him to do something, he does it. It takes a while for Aizawa to break the kid’s conditioned need to respond automatically to any request from a ‘Handler’. Aizawa is very afraid of where it came from, but Nezu can’t find anything about this kid other than the record of his birth and his school enrolments.

Izuku thinks he’s less valuable than others which is pretty canon, at least at the start, but here it’s because he’s ‘not as good/natural/ something’ as a ‘normal’ human. Most of the UA teacher see it, but they have no idea why he thinks he’s lesser so their mixed attempts at questioning/comfort fall pretty flat. Izuku is convinced they would abandon him if they knew.

So, Izuku has a complicated relationship with the concept of All Might.

To start off with, even with everything that happened, Izuku adores heroes right down to his very core. Hawks counts the HA lucky that they didn’t accidentally turn Izuku into a villain. Izuku’s favourite hero is All Might, but -

For a start, he was told he was made to be better than All Might. The part of the HA that created him isn’t fond of the no. 1 as someone they can’t at all control, Izuku has basically been taught that All Might is lying to the world with the way he presents himself and that he’s secretly a terrible person and would hate him for both being artificial and for being made to be better than him

Ergo, Izuku is shit scared of him.

Izuku wants to go to UA because Katsuki is going to UA and Katsuki is the only person other than Hawks he’s ever had a somewhat close relationship with. The HA thinks: eh, fuck it, it’ll be a nice fuck you to All Might anyway.

Then All Might is announced as a teacher after Izuku has been accepted and all hell breaks loose.

A brief set of things that happen:

Dadmight and Dadzawa to the extreme, all of 1A basically adopts Izuku instantly (after they get over the fear of his crazy quirk lmao). All Might and Eraserhead are Izuku’s favourite heroes, other than Hawks, so he's both terrified and in awe of them at all times. He finds himself both loving the familial affection he was denied as a child and being terrified they’d think he was a monster when they learnt he was made to overtake All Might, and isn’t a ‘real person’.

Izuku gets OFA, eventually. It ends up improving his physical health which is neat, along with its extra quirks and strengthening of his own.

Todoroki hates Izuku a little from the beginning, although he’d never admit it. Izuku’s quirk is incredibly powerful and he didn’t have to undergo Todoroki’s childhood torment (Which is Incorrect, but he doesn’t exactly know that, does he) When Todoroki finds out (sports festival, Izuku has a pretty emotional response to his little angst time and lets a few things slip) he becomes fiercely protective of him.

Izuku and Bakugo develop an actual friendship and it’s an adventure

Izuku gets kidnapped along with Bakugo at the training camp, during which the doctor, AFO or Shigiraki reveal he was created to beat All Might, just like the Nomu. Izuku wants to run away out of fear/shame, but Bakugo drags him along with the rescue attempt. Izuku, too scared to go back to the HA or UA, wants nothing more than to vanish off the face of the earth. When Aizawa and All Might visit him and Bakugo at the hospital, Izuku breaks down crying and cowers in fear, convinced his teachers are either going to hurt or kill him. Everyone involved is horrified. They try to calm him down but just seeing them is scaring the shit out of Izuku so they end up getting chased out by Bakugo who clumsily comforts him.

#grand design au #bnha au #bnha #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #All Might #yagi toshinori #izuku #midoriya #aizawa shouta #eraserhead #todoroki shouto

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maggyme13 · 4 years

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Sugar (7/?)

AN: I am back and am apologizing for one week of not posting. But work at the moment is a b*** . thats why there is a bit more to read today. see it as a small apology.

Wordcount: around 2100

Warnings: not really

Masterlist

Sugar- Masterlist

Sugar 6

„Good morning Ms (y/LN), I hoped you slept well after last night. Boss is waiting in his office. I am glad that you chose to take him on on his offer. He felt devastated about what he allowed to happen and about his misjudgment.”, the secretary smiled.

How does he know that?

“Thank you- can I go in or..?”

“Of course, he is waiting for you.”

Hearing an ´Enter´ following your knock, you stepped inside the large office.

“Good Morning (y/N). I hope you you slept well.”, the businessman greeted you, placing the papers he was working on to the side.

“More or less. I could not sleep for a few hours.”, you admitted.

“I feared so much. Please take a seat and we can talk a bit more.”

The cushions were so soft that you sunk into them once taking the offered seat and you thought about how this couch was a lot more comfortable than you mattresses growing up.

Wow. I could sleep on this thing for days.

“You said you wanted my word to be able to change your mind at any moment. I can give you that and more: I formulated a contract for the arrangement between the two of us. We both will sign it. It contains any important information. Here, read it and then tell me what you think. Everything can be changed.”

He was sincere in his tone and you immediately felt more relaxed.

Accepting the paper, you read everything carefuly.

There were different paragraphs for different themes: a paraphrasing of what he had told you the evening prior, his duties as your ´sugar-daddy´, your duties as his ´sugar-baby; the last one was one big and bold statement “All sexual or bodily favors must be offered by (Y/n) (Y/LN). Loki Laufeyson has no right to, in any form, ask for them or hinting at them.”

At last there was a section that stated you would be allowed to end this relationship any second without getting held responsible for it in any way or form. You also would be able to keep anything you had received during that time.

“I want to do something to earn that money. I can´t sit around all day.”, you stated.

“I figured you would say that. You could work a part-time job in one of my businesses , or somewhere else as long as it does not interfere with our deal.”

“I mean, I can take care of the household. Go grocery-shopping, and so on. Like cooking and baking.”, you hummed.

“We will find something. For now, you should go and stock your rooms with anything you need and want : Clothing, shoes, shampoos ,.. anything. New furniture, if you don´t want to sleep in that bed, or if it does not suit your style.”, he suggested.

“O-Okay. Though the rooms are fine. But can I get some of my personal stuff out of my storage-unit? It is paid for almost three months in advance, still-”, you asked.

“You don´t need to ask. Tell Barnes where the unit is and he can help you. Now that I think of it; I never asked why you were homeless. If you don´t mind me asking.”

“My boyfriend, who I was supposed to move in with, dumped me the evening before the move. It was already leased again, so I had nowhere to go and stayed with two homeless men I know for a few years. They convinced me to go with Bucky and Sam.”, you explained with a sigh and noticed a vain on the man´s forehead twitch.

“Why?”

“Why he left me? Found him making out with a girl in an club and he claimed he forgot to tell me and that I was about to move in with him.”

“I meant living with the homeless.”

“I used my last money to pay for the unit. Please, can we change the subject? It is kind of embarrassing-”

“We may. Apologies-”

“Well, on another node: Anything you want to have for dinner? I can get groceries on the way then.”, you mused.

“Surprise me. But I might be late. Mr Quill wants to have a meeting with me later.”, he did not sound amused at all.

“I am sorry I caused problems.”you apologized again, though you knew it wasn´t your fault for real.

“He should be sorry. Not you. And he will if he crosses my line again.”, the CEO growled, forming a fist with his hand at once.

I will leave then.”, you nodded your farewell and stood to leave.

“Until later (y/n), and have a nice day.”

______

Bucky had driven you to your storage unit and helped getting your most personal item back to you rnew home. It wasn´t much and fit in the back of the car; though you made sure to get your comfortable underwear and sleep stuff (mostly old shirts and boxer-shorts).

“So, Sam and I were wondering if you would be up for a movue night the other day. Pietro, Wanda and Nat will be there as well.”, the dark haired man asked you with a smile from behind the wheel.

“Uhm, sure? But why? I mean you don´t need to do that, only because I am ´living´ with your boss now. But I appreciate the offer.”, you answered, wondering why they invited you.

You would consider Bucky and Sam as accomplices though, but still.

“That has nothing to do with that. To be honest, you are the first one we like. Thus far, they all were bitches and just after the money. You on the other hand, don´t give a shit about it. It is refreshing.”, he explained, “What are you going to do know with your larger income and time on mass?”

“ I want to work. I don´t want to get money gifted to me for nothing. That was not how I was raised.”, you sighted, “For now, I will take care of the household and cook. Maybe later I will get another job. For during the day, I mean.”

“Remind me to show you the community floor Boss has made for us. It has a gym, wellness area, library and other stuff you might like.”

“Common area?”

“Yes. Didn´t we mention that most of us ´trusted´ employees are living on the five floors beneath you? My bad, sorry.”

“I don´t know. I wasn´t really in a mindset to lisdten to everything.”, you admitted.

“Understandable. We are back. Let me help you get your stuff upstairs and into your room. Then I have orders to get you anything you might need. Clothes, Shampoos, female Hygieneproducts. You name it, we get it. And no arguments: orders are orders.” , Bucky stated with a grin.

“Fine.”, you rolled your eyes, “One thing I need is more kitchen supplies. There is only the bare minimum in that kitchen. And curtains for the bathroom- those huge and open windows creep me out.”

“No secret exhibition fetish? Yeah I know what you mean, but we won´t be able to get you curtains I fear. That has to go through the interior designer. Though, you do know that there is a way to make the glass opaque?”

“Wait, what? How?”

“I don´t know how exactly it works, but there is a switch next to the door in every apartment bathroom.”

“I soooo need to find that switch.”, you groaned.

“i can show you.”, he laughed, nudging you with his shoulder, “Though you could have just asked, you know?”

“Well, yeah. To late for that know though. Theme change, can we go to my old workplace? A much as I hate it, but they still have the best hot chocolate in town-”, you sighted, “-and I need some of my paperwork from them back.”

“Sure thing. We will get those things, and some of those awesome cookies they sell.”

A light laugh escaped your lips, “I made those. And I am the only one who knows the exact recipe.”

His eyes grew big. “You´re kidding!”

“Nope, the ones they sold before were disgusting. And I love to bake, so I made them after my mom´s recipe. I can make you some if you like.”

“YES Please!”, he cleared his throat, “ I mean, if you have time and so on. No need to-”

“I will find a moment. It´s the last I can do after you and Sam took me in.”

“No worries. Now lets me get your things up and then back shopping.”

Parking the car in front of the building, he stepped out and walked to the back. You were following him at once and grabbed some of your stuff.

His astonished look stopped you at once.

“What?”

“Nothing. I am just not used that a- that I get help with carrying stuff upstairs.”

“You mean Mr Laufeyson´s Sugarbabies? I am not like them.”, you frowned.

“Yes, and I know. Just-”, he stammered casting his eyes on the floor in embarrassment.

“Unusula. I get it.”, you honestly smiled, “Though I am one now.”

Something in your voice at the last part of your exclamation made him send you a sad smile.

“Come on. Let´s get you settled in a bit more.”

“Alright”, you nodded, “and then some hot chocolate.”

“What do you want?”, your former employer sneered once you entered the coffee-shop. Her eyes glaring daggers into you.

“Hello to you, too. I am here to get my last cheque, my papers and recipe-book that is still here. As well as a triple-hot-chocolate with two marshmallows, please.”, you smiled your best customer-service-smile.

“And a large coffee for me.”, Bucky piped up from right behind you.

“Sure. I assume ´To Go´?”

“Yes, pleased.”, you smiled even brighter.

“Give me a moment.”, your ex-boss grumbled before leaving into the back to hopefully get what was yours.

“Asshole much?”, your friend whispered from behind and you nodded.

One of your old coworkers began to make your order in the meantime.

“Thank you, Chris. How is school doing?”, you started to make small-talk, this time with a real smile.

“It´s alright. My year is about to go on a trip, but without me.”, the young barista answered.

“Why?”

“Don´t have the money, and my Stepdad is an asshole an does not want to pay for it.”, he grumbled and you sighted.

You knew about his situation at home, and would often cover for him, so he could do homework during his break.

“How much is the trip?”

“550 Bucks.”, he sighted again, that was almost a month of work for him, without giving his parents his share of rent that was 150 and the money he saved for college.

“What about the tips?”

“Alright I guess. Though since you aren´t baking the cookies anymore they dropped quite a bit. But if I am lucky I can get enough to go on weekend-trip with my friends next month.”, he smiled thinking about that.

“You can still keep the tips, right? No sharing them with the others or the boss since I left?”, you questioned, an idea had crossed your mind.

“Everything is the same, why?”, he answered a bit baffled about your question.

“No particular reason. Bucky. This order is on me.”, you grinned.

“Alright.”, he shrugged, tough you assumed he knew what you were planning.

“Hand me the card reader, would you? Prizes are still the same?”, you offered your open palm to the boy, who nodded and finished your order.

Accepting the reader, you typed in 10$ for the order and 600$ under tip, “ Here you go. Have fun on that trip. And before you ask, I got a really well paying new job.”

“Thank you so much!”, the Highschooler breathed with teary eyes.

“See it as a graduation gift. But don´t tell anyone, ok?”

“Promised””, the boy quickly nodded, zipping his lips with a motion of his hands, though he quickly stopped when his boss returned with your things.

“Here!”, your ex-boss sneered almost slamming your things on the counter, “If you could leave now please.”

“We may. Hve a nice day!”, and with that, the two of you left.

“That was nice what you did there.”, Bucky hummed back behind the wheel.

“He deserves a few days of fun. His Stepdad is an asshole. A HUGE one.”

“So, where do we start shopping?”

Part 8

AN2.0 How will this turn our for the reader? And will her family make an appreance again in later chapters?

REBLOGS and comments are appreciated:)

Thank you very much.

~MaggY

Taglists:

Permanent:

@jadepc@pacifyhxlsey @thankyoukarenclifford

@thankyouforanonymity @punkrockhufflefluff

@scarletraine @buckycaptspideypool @markusstraya @graveyard-groupie @markusstrayya @randomgirlkensy @the-soulofdevil

@marshyrebelcloud

MCU:

@yknott81 @banner-and-bucky-are-life @forext20 @dyanlzbb @so-finster-die-nacht @emmii4 @bitchwhytho @ladyofmyst @jilldsumner @momc95 @appreciating-fanfics

Sugar:

@bits-and-bobs-and-kawaii-stuffs @mimmie666 @fullranchwolfoperator

@cluelessnitwhit @youknowitsclouds @his-paradox @purplerainharry

@spootgaai2000 @iamsuperjenna @nikkipea @alexakeyloveloki @timelordy-fangirl2 @girrafeeeeeee

I couldnt tag a few of you… sorry.

Want to get tagged as well? Comment, Reblog or send an ask to let me know.

#sugardaddy!loki #sugardaddy!loki x reader #sugardaddy au #Loki x reader #Loki #Loki Laufeyson #Reader insert #MCU #marvel fanfiction #Loki fiction #Bucky Barnes

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sodasyrup · 5 years

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I love,,,,, domestic lava au... You should do more of it. I'd love to know more about reka and monty too!

BWAAA...

Okay as I said it’s an au with kittie (6kuro) so I’m gonna grab the things it said and I said lmao

warning its a LONG disjointed post bc im too tired to make. a good post fdhghdf

lovelypeaches08/28/2019cole and kai would settle down real late like....in their late thirties because they want to keep their children as safe as possible, being elemental masters and having enemies and all

at first wu wants them to fight longer and shit but hes OLD so who cares and theres probably conflict on thatbut kai and cole are old enough to realized they dont have to be controlled

so they get married, symbolically if anything, because they've been dating for probably a little over a decade now and known each other even longer, AND been living together for the same amount of time

theyre the first of the ninja to settle down, and they buy a small house in a village thats maybe an hour away from ninjago city

the tininess of the house is made up for by the largeness of the yard, where cole likes to garden, especially fruits and vegetables

cole works as a stay at home free lance artist, doing stuff like commissions, book covers, comics, etc for moneykai does something that puts his charisma to use, probably something in business that lets him advertise and talk a lot..he could never settle down for a stay at home job or anything, even with all his thrilling ninja stories

they have enough money from donations and awards to thrive off these jobs, and ninjago probably pays them kind of like retirement

cole cooks for kai so he always has a meal ready when hes home, so then kai cooks on the weekend

anyways, they have two kids, about 3 years aparti haven't figured them much out yet, but kai and cole cook and bake with themcoles parenting style is very protective and rather spoils them, while kai lets them do whatever as long as its not immediately dangerousthey balance each other out well, so their kids grow up loved and well rounded

lovelypeaches08/28/2019coles always buying them sweets and treats and Kai pretends to be annoyed but thinks its really cute

the kids go to a small school on the outskirts of ninjago city, and get asked about their parents a LOT. they kind of like the attention but it gets irritating

moving on to the other ninja who also start to settle down,jay doesnt really want kids, so he passes on his powers with ~science~ or something, but only when hes a lot olderhe does engineering at borg industries or something, and he messes around a lot but gets away with it bc hes the blue ninjahes like kai and coles kids Fun Uncle, since he lives in a big apartment in downtown ninjago city, with a bunch of cool techkai and coles family often take elongated road trips therejay thinks hes a cool relative but besides being super lenient hea actually kind of embarrassing lol

nya settles down a bit later than the rest of them, because she wants to live her ninja days to the fullesti could go on about my domestic samurai au but her and pixal have a kid who gets nyas water powersnya is much more eager to train her kid than cole and Kai are (they want to start properly training thwir children when theyre like 16, much to wus disappointment)nya doesn't force anyrhing on her kid but she doesnt protect her kid from the fact they'll have to train sooner or latershes determined on still changing the world, so she's a strong political leader, with innovative ideas who doesnt approve of ninjagos government and wants to change it for the betterShe also lives in downtown, but isn't as fun as jayher kid is younger than kai and coles, but kai and coles kids look up to them because they're very independent and skilled! their mom is also super cool, but not in a silly way. she rocks leather jackets and drives her kid around on a motorcycle

lovelypeaches08/28/2019zane is tricky for me...i like to imagine him sticking with lloyd to being a ninja or whatever, since hes going to be alive a lonnggg timehe also wants to respect wus wishes, so he teaches students and fights alongside lloydhe does so much less however, and finds a lot of time to visit his friends

kai and coles kids are shy around him at first, him being a nindroid whose still a ninja, but hes so much nicer and softer than expectedhe always brings them presenrs and enjoys quality time with them, so he's basically their favorite uncle

now lloyd continues his master training, to become the next master after wu dies. hed be the one to guide the next generation of elemental masters as well as their parents in training thembut don't worry, he gets a break too, since the other ninja help him out. hes much less burdened then wu was in the later years of his lifeok thats all i think

My commentary now

little boy whos like 3 and super wide eyed and excited and loves pink (when he foudn out zane at one point had a pink gi he asked if he could get one too)older girl around 6 whos a big daddys girl and loves to garden with cole and make mud piez

the little girl is the fire em - she had temper issues linked to autismz which they worked through her with early and never thought of it but she has a big passion for gardening they mistook for elemental connection when rly she just LUVS IT

little boy is em of earth - hes a natural born leader and stubborn, wide eyed and excitable. again bc they worked w both their kids about their tempers and such they never realized he was just naturally good at keeping his composure. also a lot like jay keeping morals upnaturally strong but both their kids are and i hc the super strength doesnt come in until peubertyz

shes a bit of a late bloomer with em powers but one day their little boy accidentally makes a pot hole inside the kitchen bc he was excited over zane cookingthey took too good of care of their kids and his true potential was simple bc he was a litol kid which was im going to live my best fcuking life with friends and family *rips a hole in the ground

kai and cole are the gross sappy parents that trade kisses n their kids are like thats DISGUSTING youre DISGUSTINGLY IN LOVE

Kittie pointslovelypeaches08/28/2019YEAYEYAYAYYEYAYAYEoh god the little boy is part scenecorelikenot full on scene but like punk y2kwhich is a part of scenealso at first cole and kai are super concerned being a ninja will be as mentally damaging and ack as it was for them at times, but lloyd and zane are genuinely good mastersbutnot to get sadbutwhen tragedy does happen somehow, since neither Lloyd nor zane can ease that, cole and kai are so good at helping their kids e thatthey help them recover from it without downplaying their kids concerns and feelings amd give good advice and loveand make being elemental masters a lot easier for their kids than it ever was for them

me again.....

they always get so fucking scared thokai custom makes weapons for themarmor too he spends hours upon hours making sure its perfect and even prays over them to keep their kids safe

anyway when kai n cole visit w them (idk if theyr just adopted at their current age or like.... adopted as babies or surrogate or?? idk but) they visit lloyd and kai softly says "Look! its uncle lloyd" and lloyd starts SOBBING hes just fucking bawlinghis eyes out and when kai offers to for lloyd to hold him lloyds just like are you suure arre eyyuuu thherye so smsmm all kaiii are yoruur suureee thheyrey babbeises

nya is hesitant but ends up being a really good aunt, i meanshe took care of kai /j

zane is a fav uncle and hes always making sweets for them jay is. also sorta a fav bc where zane comes jay follows and jay has a sweet tooth and also makes Cool Toys + hey wanna prank your dadsalso im dramatic and likekai and cole sitting down and having a convo about master wubc he was sorta a shitty mentor and they really REALLY dont want their kids going through any self confident issues nor over stressing bc theyr KDISeventually kai and cole talk to master wu and actually has wu face his terrible practice towards kids and wu accepting he was.............................a bad 'parent' in a senseblebleblelelelelelellekai works but cole absolutely watches over any training when wu is there at first but lloyd is the master now and lloyd is like..........................i dont want kids to go through what i went through kai is like i trust you but also i will murder every single one of you in this dojo if you ever hurt my little girlim doing what i do and taking an au and running im sorry ghdghdfhJACK RAMBLES....their son refuses to wear shoes he lieks dirt on his feet they never really think much of it but its actually really comforting for him to feel the earth under his feet and feel stablethey think its just a stim thing maybe? theyr unsurebut! turns out him Element(also a fear of heights)lloyd tries to be a serious master but hes a big ol goof and can easily be manipulated

ironically.......its the lil boy who often is like HEY!!!!!!!!!!! WE GOTTA TRAIN!

kai and cole agree not to tell anyone what theyre thinking of naming their little boy until he arrives so when the day comes kais holding this tiny little boy and holds him out gentlyand lloyd is already EMOTIONAL because this is a BABY and lloyd softly asks his name n cole cuts in like "hes named after a really brave dude, montgomery. but we're thinking monty as a nickname"lloyd, choking up:(hc garmadons first name is montgomery)

the girl is Reka which means sweet in maori (a personal headcanon for cole) and shes their sweetheart

lovelypeaches09/04/2019bhrnrng this is in domestic au but col and kai teachign their kids instrumentscole and reka wud play piano duets togetherand monty doesnt like instruments much but he likes to singlike a LOT he belts out a song for everythinghe just lieks his own voice

burdletutt09/04/2019HNGGG HFHMONTY LOVS BEING LOUD

lovelypeaches09/04/2019YEAAAHhes like the type who makes a song for everythingmonty voice we rr goinggg to the parkkkkk and the grass isss.........GREEENNNNNNN and there are LOOK THERE ARE SQUIRRRELSSSS and a playground and the skyyyyy isssssssssssss...*deep inhale* BLUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE1E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!kai and cole: you are literally so talented

jay tries really hard to be the Cool Uncle at firstbut Monty just :^TReka gives him an awkward chucklewhen jay stops being Cool ™ hes goofy and thats when they start giggling and liking him more

#sodask #Anonymous #dads au

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g0lde · 5 years

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been a while. a very long while.

tumblr is almost dead, its weird

mostly why im typing this right now.

its funny, i just got up out of bed because my mind was racing and now i dont know what to say or where to start.

im 21. im sad. im hurting.

i find comfort in knowing this is part of life, its okay to not be okay.

i know im going to be okay because i know i am and i know me. if i didnt see light at the end of this tunnel, i’d know something is terribly wrong.

im mad, and sad. at myself. i have led myself to laziness and mediocrity. this is all i want for myself? i havent fed my soul, my craft, myself. but i’ve fed others, i’ve fed and poured and poured and been left. again. and again. and again.

for a long time i thought i’d never experience love, at first i was so against it, couldnt even wrap my head around the idea of sharing my whole self with another. now i crave intimacy and someone to call home that it kills me. i cant find it anywhere, im not desperate or actively searching by no means. i will never settle. but the few interactions ive had with men that dont completely make me cringe, i’ve been hurt. not the hurt where im crying or sad for weeks. but the hurt like damn another fucking nigga that i gave the privilege of knowing me, and that wasnt good enough. im beautiful. im funny. im intense. all things that bring men my way but never can keep them. ive spent so much time hurting and wondering why i cant be loved that i miss out on all the intense love i have from my friends.

thats one of the things im truly starting to understand and respect. how fucking important and sacred friendship is. its the purest love, the purest enjoyment. i forgot to appreciate the people that have come into my life and broke down my walls and gave me amazing memories. sometimes men make me feel inadequate. like somethings wrong with me. it sounds lame but everyone wants to be desired. but my friends bring back down. theres no other love ive felt more intense than friendship. that shit fills me up inside, makes me so whole. ive learn to hold that tight because we’re so normalized to having our friends around we forget how special they are. those humans are given to us to help us, heal us, guide us and love us. i cant express my graditude to certain individuals but the beauty is, they know. they know how i feel, without me having to give a whole sob story. im connected to them and thats something im happy about.....people out here dont have solid people in their corner.

this is the lowest ive felt in my life thus far, im embarassed at half of the things im going through, i dont even tell myfriends. its sad how much pain and circumstances i tell not a single soul. regardless i know this is the last of my transition phase from child to woman. i can see myself, feel myself learning, growing, accepting. things that wouldve made me want to hurt myself when i was 18, i take to the chin and keep moving. life is pain. so muchfucking pain, enough for everyone to be fucking fucked up by. its crazy. every day i have the empty feeling of disgust and just being plain scared of whats going to happen next...thats why ive been practicing to stop in the moment. kinda like i did now, instead of tossing and turning in my head,, im writing this all down. i know i need to write this down. anyways..............ive been stopping in moments. like when i take a shower, i make sure to pause and enjoy the hot water, life is gonna come at me fast,,, i deserve this. i deserve the good and the bad, i accept everything because im responsible for my actions. ive put myself here and i know its only making me stronger.

im so fucking strong. im a fucking hustler. a survivor. i know when im out of this hole, when im on the other side, the happiness is going to overwhelm me. my success will make every sleepless night, every breakdown worth it. im learning, im growing. life is fucked up. ive fucked myself up. my little brother. my mom. my friends. ive ruined alot great things. and yet im stilll here standing, with a solid foundation below me. i just got to keep building,

i guess the point of all this is....we’re all sad. we’re all hopeless. we do not have it together and as cliche as it sounds, there is beauty in the struggle. im becoming the best verison of myself thus far... thats so exciting. no amount of pain could out weigh the beauty in life. we have to hang on. we deserve to be happy.

to the people who have wronged me, lied to me, left me.....be okay. im okay. i dont understand why you did what you did but i dont blame you. we have to look out for ourselves before anyone else. i can never fault someone for doing what the fuck they want too do. i just hope i find someone who understands my twisted mind, how i need to be loved and helps me continue to grow.

im not happy but i know i will be.

this stage in my life is a crazy one...im going to look back and be like fuck! you did that THANG SHAWTY!

theres so much ugly in the world, we have to hold onto the beauty....because its so fucking beautiful.

its 2:19am...i feel better. im going to sleep. thank you.

#texts

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winterstormgoddess · 5 years

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Creating Community in the Messiness: Soul Tavern

A year ago, for the first time in my life, I was lonely. I wasn’t alone, I had a roommate, I had family that lived in the city, I was in a relationship, but something significant was missing. Last year was complicated enough, no one really tells you how difficult the first year out of college is, and then you add on moving across the country from your family, tragedy, injury, a new job, a new relationship, hormonal imbalances, anxiety attacks, first winters. Good lord it was a lot.

College is life with training wheels. Everyone is in one confined area for ultimately the same purpose, to learn, make friends, and have a damn good time. That being said, everyones college experience is different but for me - thats what it was, a damn good time.I met my best friends within the first week and god love them they stuck with me the whole way through. I went from living in a dorm to living with 5 girls, I saw at least 15 people I knew every single day and I never once was lonely.

Then you graduate, and for me there was no option other than to dive in head first to the ocean that is New York City. I was done being in my comfort zone, I wanted challenge, I wanted new, I wanted exciting, and I wanted to grow. Be careful what you wish for, and then do it anyway.

I am not going to waste your time detailing the ups and downs and backs and forths of last year, the likelihood is if you’re reading this you probably know me and already know about it all. What I am going to tell you about is what and who was my saving grace, in hopes that maybe when loneliness, fear, and newness hits you like a ton of bricks you might be able to use my experience as a guide.

I have always been surrounded by women, as long as I can remember. I guess I was born into that type of thing, my mom had many a women’s circle before I was born coming together to bless unborn me with their feminine magic. I would like to think that I have a pretty good picker when it comes to friends and when I find my people, I hang on to them. Last year, was the first time in my entire life that I didn’t have a community, and for lack of a better phrase, it fucking sucked.

I was being picky, I didn’t want to create friends out of desperation. I had criteria, and I was not going to settle. In many ways, I am pickier with my friends than I am with the men I date (thats something to unpack on a later date) but I think it is really because of what I said above, when I find my people, they’re mine for life. I can’t tell you how many times I heard “come on, why don’t you just come “out” with us and meet people at this pregame”

haha, NO.

So I did the things you’re supposed to do to make friends in a big city, found a yoga studio I loved, I did work at coffee shops, said hi to people on the subway. As a natural extrovert this stuff wasn’t hard to do, but it also wasn’t really working. I found a friend here and there, but what I realized quickly is that there is a difference between friendship and community.

I wanted people who I could talk about my anxiety with, people who liked to go out and dance their asses off but also wanted to stay in and cuddle on a Friday night while watching the presidential debates, I wanted people who were going to accept me as the sensitive, emotional, sometimes controlling, person that I am. Basically I wanted dynamite, and I found it.

In the midst of being on a break with my boyfriend - which is what happens when your loneliness causes you to expect your significant other to be your lover, your parent, your best friend, and your punching bag all at once especially when they’re a 23 year old dude who also is still trying to figure they’re own shit out- I decided I was done with the waiting and wishing.

I sent a group chat to every girl I knew in the city. The text said this:

Hi sweet friends of mine.

I've been thinking about doing this for some time now and have decided that now is that time. With work and teaching and being in a relationship and just the overall nuttiness of life finding and continuously holding on to community has been hard. Some weeks I make plans with as many of u as I can and some weeks I see no one and that's just how it goes but it feels like part of what makes me feel whole, strong female connection needs to be a bigger part of my life. I know living in this city and trying to do it all can be wildly overwhelming, so I hope this invitation will come as a nice little surprise to you as well.

I've decided to start a weekly community night - a night where we can eat together, drink if we'd like, but mostly just talk and build real intentional connection. I have intentionally texted each one of you slightly selfishly because you're the people I really want to see in any given week but also because I want this to be an open space for real, honest conversation and support and I value each one of your voices and your hearts. I am setting the intention to do this every week, and there is no pressure to show up, who ever shows up shows up, but it will always be a space that is open to each one of you and I will always be there!

So starting next Tuesday from 7- 10 pm. I'll be holding space at my house for some girl time, some food, and lots of love. Come if you can ❤️

This was the start of something really fucking beautiful.

I texted 12 people. The first week there were 4 people, then those 4 people brought people and on and on. Over a matter of weeks a group of 14 women who barely knew each other were suddenly coming together every week to share parts of our souls- and that is where the name came from. Soul Tavern Tuesday.

Hannah, a California transplant in NYC who was brought to us by Simone one of my nearest and dearest from college, went to theatre school and had a professor who would hold “soul tavern” nights where students would come together to check in and share some type of poetry or art. We immediately attached this to Tuesday and decided STT had a damn good ring to it. We also co-opted the format - we started doing a round of wins, thanks to Sarah, a bright light of a human I met at the yoga studio who’s favorite question to ask people is “what are your wins of the day” and then we would do shares, people brought poetry, songs, stories, photos, books anything and everything you could think of.

Every week I was blown away by the magic that happened when I chose to connect and dive in with these women, even after a shitty day at work, an anxiety attack, a fight with a significant other, being in a circle of people who listened, who loved with their whole hearts and bodies and who accepted me no matter what was and is the most transformative experience.

In April we decided to go on a trip. My wedding planner in another life self made an itinerary, we found an rental property upstate, found cars to drive, and set out on a weekend with 14 women, none of us knowing what would come of it. When I say it was the best weekend of my life so far, I really mean it. The intentionality around our interactions with each other, the way that we love each other, the way we listen to each other, and the way we create space for each person to be their own individual self, allowed each of us to feel perfectly comfortable and free to both talk about hard shit, and dance our asses off after 4 margaritas until 3 am.

Now this isn’t to say we haven’t run into conflict, hurt feelings, insecurities, judgement, etc, but because our friendship, our community, was started with intention. The intention being to love each other without judgement, to show up, to be honest, we are able to face those conflicts with care and continue to grow and hold space for each other through it all.

Tavern is still every Tuesday, my friendships with these women, my sisters, is 7 days of the week. I am never lonely, even when I am alone because I know that I have them, I know that they’ve got me.

So when you find yourself facing newness, loneliness, or whatever it is, remember that you are a product of who you surround yourself with and beyond that you are in control of who those people are, so do something brilliant with that power. Take the time, create the spaces, send the texts, even when you have a million reasons not to.

I got into grad school this year, I faced an injury, heartbreak, tragedy, I spoke in front of hundreds of students, but this community is the thing I am the most proud of, because I know that no matter what happens in my life, those experiences are fleeting and these people are forever.

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somedaypast-thesunset · 7 years

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this weekend was actually okay and something i needed. on saturday i spoke to my landlord who was very aggressive about our deal and it gave me alot f anxiety. i attempted to share this with.. well.. anyone, and it was really isolating. the day before i had spent just a few hours with him and another friend and i felt isolated. saturday evening he decided he wanted to hang out and was really, really excited to share that he had found a cottage he could use this summer. neither me nor my friend was that enthused. both of us have lives that dont reallt include cottages and who knows if he will still be our friend by then. honestly. and he presented this with such excitement, like it would be good news for me. like i would care. like i was supposed to care. i think in a way both my friend and i thought good news wouldve been him wanting to move out of his mothers house. like he had a change of heart and realized what was actually for the best. he stuck on the cottage, repeatedly asking me over the next day or so if i was excited. he said i could go fishing. if i dont, does he bring someone else? but having him in a good mood was much better than usual and made him much more affectionate and nice, which is what i needed to overcome some of my anxiety. not all anxiety can truly be solved on its own. he kept touching me and held my hand and was overall just really nice. it made me comfortable enough to share my landlord situation and surprisingly he had a similar reaction to my own - they had been nice before, they set out the rules im following, theyre just angry they arent getting anything right now by definition of their own rules. he told me it was okay and i didnt need to worry about it because they had resolved to threats and aggression when i never once acted inappropriately. i felt alot better hearing that. weve been very careful not to comment on each others choices but still offer passive opinions. he doesnt like me living with anyone and hes negative about all of my options. but he doesnt tell me outright what to do / what im doing wrong in his eyes. but it felt better to feel justified in my belief that i wasnt crazy for thinking that i was in fact following their rules and procedures. a bit later on he mentioned that i should try for my native status and to me its a very sketchy subject based on almost 100 years of people with a very flimsy story which i imagine is mostly true but there could be serious false parts. thats why i just accept the ancestry my father believed in but dont indulge in it. but its gratifying to hear a random opinion which someone came to on their own regarding my ancestry and their belief in my belief. but he added that i should seek out an aboriginal center that could help me through the process and they should be more than willing to help because ive experienced so much abusive trauma. i felt a bit thrown back by this observation and didnt really reply. i mean, im not insulted or offended. im more genuinely surprised that within his own thoughts he believed i had abusive trauma and he wanted a way for me to cope easier in life. and it wasnt just oh u had trauma, it was 'so much abusive trauma' - very specific, indicating belief that not onlt had i experienced trauma on its own but that it had been willfully inflicted on me in my past. i believe in a way this also refers to the fact i told him what has been unsaid between us but most obvious in our last fight. he is a contributing factor on a semi regular basis to my anxieties and depression because he chooses to be as close as he is in the type of 'relationship' we have but does things like randomly break up or blame things on me. but its up and down, putting me through a cycle and my trust and patience, as thin as it was to begin with, is hanging on by a thread. i do believe he could leave at any moment without deep thought into how it would affect me. and he tries to remain naive or ignorant to the damage he caused; he asks me if i know where random things are or why i havent taken care of our herb garden and i remind him that im not here and im not welcome to do these things or know these things. he pushed me away for almost two weeks and expected things to be exactly as they were like i had left yesterday. i believe, like my ex, my trauma is too large for him. like, its a hard thing to completely encapsulate and see on a single level at once. and its complex emotional abuse - whether purposeful or not by people that may or may not have had control over the situation. i have felt like an observer since i was a baby. like im just watching crazy shit go down over and over again without a real period of content in between it all. in the afternoon, i felt a bit better. i didnt need sympathy or a shoulder to cry on necessarily, but when you feel very isolated, having your existence acknowledged is good. someone knows. they thought about it. i didnt implant it or bring it up. i roller skated for a bit - im sure its like literally 5-10 minutes of skating at a time but to me its kind of amazing im outside on rollerskates at all. and i think its kind of unbelievable to others as well - not that im too lazy, just that ive made an active choice to emerge from things at the best of mt abilities. later i began looking for jobs and apartments, repeating the same routine of the last few weeks but grateful to be in comfort doing it instead of at the library. i began narrowing down my search - i know, i know, i should take all the jobs. any job. put myself on a production line, hand bomb boxes, cut up chicken - but i cant. i cant do it at this point in my psyche. i cannot physically or mentally bare the process of living that way. its incomprehensible to me - im not above it. im not stubborn. im not lazy. but when you barely have the desire to get out of bed and feed yourself and bathe, to create the desire from nothing to go to a factory and pack boxes for eight hours of the day is so much time alone with my mind. its not distracting or challenging enough and ive see. these terrible jobs make normal people depressed so to me it seems like a death sentence. so i began to narrow it down - its been a long journey, acrually. it started months ago when i sat down and sincerely though about the very few things i could believe or want in my life thriugh all the fog and trauma and stress. it was very basic - im kind of a simple person. or maybe im simple among my turmoil. i like animals - but they also can trigger alot of anxiety and emotions that i dont want to deal with on a regular basis on top of having employment to maintain. i like cooking and baking; but all job environments with this are very high stress fast paced places and i am a sloth. not lazy, again, but currently moving at a pace that is the best of my abilities. i like computers but my skills are from 2008 and i dont have the patience or attention span to upgrade them right now. i like, in some ways, cleaning but i dont think its something id want to do everyday of my life. i like caring for the elderly, but again, its a complex job with alot of mental stress. so for the past month or so ive settled on essentially something in horticulture. i like growing things. it brings me a little joy on the inside. i like herb gardens and flowers, i like being outside, i like learning about plants. i began looking for a job in a garden center but they were few and far between and i began to realize that it was still mainly retail. so i applied to landscaping - i could cut grass and weed gardens but its male dominated industry and i dont think my few years of experience doing well, nothing, makes me a their first choice. plus its back breaking and the weather conditions can be terrible. so i looked for jobs as a florist or in a flower shop or maybe just the flower department in a grocery store. it seemed relatively low stress, not incredibly fast paced but something that was always in demand and flowers and maintaining flowers is great. but i began to learn that it required experience, as most jobs do, but as i thought about it i realized perhaps i could be a floral designer. it sounds really.. meh. like a super unimportant job with no real purpose and may e thats okay. it has alot of options; floral shops, weddings, funerals - its an oddly versatile thing that also allows for creativity and an experience of art and a little bit of science. its not complex, but it could be. and it allows for expansion - i could run my own flower shop. its not the most useful trade but its something thats always useable. i hesistantly looked into schooling. it seemed like a random course you took once and they gave you a paper. but a neaeby college has an entire 2 semester course that includes fundamentals of color and design and business plus floral design and other similae things. i say near but its a 2 hr bus ride away. however, its only on saturdays. one day a week for eight months. for curiousitys sake i looked into student loans. my last experience was uncomfortable. despite my best efforts, including calling multiole financial aid offices and sending paper work, i was still messed around and had no idea what to do to fix it. in rhe end i was told it was unlikely student loans would cover my choice; it was an online course in criminal psychology. i felt defeated and turned away from it but looking back now it was a poor attempt to alleviate pressures. so i was weary that osap would cover this course. apparantly school was sketchier than i thiught and the websites were utterly confusing and just asking for money up front. but i continued on, certain that it must work - everyone else manages it. i found the loan calculator and inputted the data. it would be the bare minimum course load thst would count towards getting a loan. it seemed impossible, a course that only happened saturdays that would be covered by a loan. but it recognized the course and calculated based on my assistance i get now, which i know is possible and i know assistance encourages you to do so. it came back as covering my books as well as 9000$+ for living & travelling expenses for the eight months. right now, assistance would allow me a little over 5000$ provided i dont get a job. and thats for living and eating, 300$ a month for rent, 300$ for basic living. at 9000$ i could afford 500-600$ in rent, possibly more if i really wanted to stretch it more so as a loan, when i work, my money isnt deducted. so my shelter costs are covered and at an even higher amount of rent for 700$, i have 300$ still to live on. if i wanted to live alone, that is. having 500-600$ to offer in a roommate situation or towards anything in my future is better than the 300-400$ im looking at now. so i think i want to do this. im going to ask assistance to cover the application fee and im rly hoping i have the one pre requisite course they ask for. it doesnt solve anything right now at all. this is long term think over the next 6-8 months, whicb honestly is scary. im scared by planning so far ahead for myself. and its hard because what if what if what if. but i think its the right thing to do. i dont know if it is. was i ever going to be a famous chef or doctor or office person? probably not. im lucky to exist as i am now. its a reachable goal just outside of my comfortzone and despite the meager amount it seems like theyre giving me, its more than i have had for almost a year now. i believe im ready to handle this, which is funny because its thrown on 18 yr olds eith no life experience but it doesnt matter. a friend has been sort of wanting to be my roommate. its hard to trust her though. and its a really sketchy situation to enter into but financially it would make sense and it would allow me to keep a majority of my comforts. she said she drove around and looked for apartments yesterday and called a few, which is more than ive done. she did show me a few but they were just out of my price range and i wonder if i just wont have enough money to even have a roommate. i also havent had any calls or opportunties for jobs or cash and half of it is my fault. today i could go to contract testing andearn 20$. but ill spend 4$ to get there. i wanted to make it a trip and go to the assistance office too and submit paper work for my application but my desire is not there and im frustrated st myself because i was given a fine weekend. and i need the money; im nearlt short of first & last for 400$ worth of rent, which means i cant even look at 500$ places. i can, however, afford 450$ which is not so bad and i guess i could borrow 100$ from someone if it came down to it, considering my efforts. so 20$ today would sort of go towards living expenses right now and i guess i just.. dont care. i also have to call hydro because i have a past due notice im hoping doesnr translate to final notice? im past due on mt past due and even making the phone call seems daunting. my mornings have become battlefields, mental acrobats of havinf set a plan - even a simple task and fighting myself for several hours about doing it or why or for what purpose. i commend myself, sadly, on the three consecutive days at the library last week. thats actually unheard of in my world, getting up, getting ready and goinf out at almost the same time for three days in a row. then it was the weekend. and now im here. and the weeke d didnt bother me. it didnt cause this, or maybe it did but it doesnt feel like it. im glad to have spent time with him in such a positive way but i guess i have a looming feeling of "well tomorrow i know i wont see him" and ill work out my day alone and eat alone and sleep alone and have all this time because i barely have wifi and no cable and no tv and no movies. its not his fault though. its mt fault. he doesnt have to share his time eith me because i couldnt manage to have wifi. or that i sold my tv. it would be best for me to do the things i planned today. i also havent began cleaning or packing any of my things. i could use boxes. but i kind of want to sleep; i didnt sleep well last night and felt ljke i was up most of the night, having slept alone, and being woken up pretty uncemermoniously at 630am. he explained he was up until 3am working on his project and managed some niceties but dropped me a block from my apt for no real reason. i do scorn myself for not taking initative. these tasks are really fucking simple and crucial to my well being but ill comfort myself with "well, its only this time of day, i can still do this and this later" and its such a poor cop out. i could do it now. the two hours ive been sitting here, couldve done it. but i didnt and i honestlt probably wont and that really makes me such a bucket. its hard feeling down about your depression. but i guess unfortunately im going to start this day again in a few hours and im sure ill be much better off.. or atleast well enough to move from my bed.

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