#bc there's no world in which he lets that happen

[toorumlk]

Hi I'm so freaking obsessed with your twitter.

Also what's your favorite Romione moment in the books and why?

ohohoho thank you, friend, i’m quite proud of some of the stuff i’ve posted on there B)

and as for my favourite romione moment in the books, when i read the question i first blanked out for a couple minutes, thinking of a bunch of smaller, sillier scenes. but then i remembered that i do have a favourite and it’s from chapter 11 of DH, when remus visited the trio at grimmauld place and filled them in on he goings on of the war -including the implementation of the muggle-born registry. ron’s response upon hearing this (after his immediate outrage) was

and it’s not just the hand holding and the “‘you won’t have a choice’ said Ron fiercely” that played out so vividly in my head like this:

but this scene demonstrates so perfectly the political weight of this pairing (muggleborn/blood traitor) which i think is the immovable narrative foundation of romione. all of their silly moments and idiosyncrasies aside, there is genuine narrative purpose behind this love. ron has always had an astute understanding of the blood supremacist politics of the wizarding world (need i remind that he was ready to curse shitco at the ripe age of 12 for calling hermione the in-universe slur) and just how wrong it is. ron is a pure-blood wizard and by design has so much privilege in this society bc of it, but by virtue of having parents like arthur and molly, he’s grown up knowing the importance of fighting against blood supremacist ideology. always.

so, after hearing about the completely horrifying muggleborn registry ("People won't let this happen," said Ron. "It is happening, Ron," said Lupin.), he immediately turns to his muggleborn best friend and love of his life and says “i’m making you a family member, i’m going to use the protection my family-name has and use it to protect you from the awful injustice of our situation, no you won’t have a choice but to let me help you”

i remember having such a… visceral reaction while reading this scene like holy shit .. these kids, THESE KIDS!!!!! this is the bone-marrow-deep love that makes me feel insane. this dynamic of the blood traitor/muggleborn always there, from CoS all the way to the epilogue. We get to see that romione is the story’s pure blood/muggleborn that finally made it (rip jily and tedromeda :(). we see it in hermione keeping her muggle last name after they get married (oh my god these two actually got married) and we also see it in the hyphenated Granger-Weasley (granger being first!) in their kids’ last names (oh my gof these two had TWO kids). they are a true symbol of change and progress in their world.

also this is one of those moments where i’m so glad that our only window to romiones relationship development is through harry’s narration because it so brilliantly shows the readers this blossoming love story instead of just telling us about it because harry obviously doesn’t have access to the inner thoughts of his two best friends, he can only witness them fall deeper in love. showing the audience acts of love is always more powerful and my god is this an act of showing your love to your beloved.

(and not to go on an unrelated tangent, but this is exactly why i could never ship my girl hermione w any DE or DE-adjacent character. no fucking way. not when the concept of a muggle-born registry exists in this universe, not when the antagonists in this story wish to eradicate people like her from their society. idk about the rest of y’all but im going to keep taking the narrative seriously bc the worldbuilding obviously has real world ties/implications and i like engaging with the canon. tangently to the tangent, i saw someone (a ron basher) on twitter say that ron, OUR RON FROM THE ABOVE EXCERPT, was “one bad day away from becoming a death eater” ohhhh ohhh i ought to beat you with sticks bc HUH? this is the same kid who said he would’ve boarded the train back to kings cross if he got sorted to slytherin, the house notorious for birthing DEs, at the tender age of 11)

anyways, all this to say is that romione is incredibly, realistically, materially romantic and i love them and i love their love <3

#romione #harry potter #harry potter and the deathly hallows #pro romione #bc duh #romione meta #hp meta #harry potter meta #toorumlk #nusreplies #my art #bc the hands #ron weasley defense squad

[rinbowaman]

how would both heethan and heelel react to y/n saying "i'm not scared of you anymore"

Ooooh anon.

To put it simply, heethan wouldn’t really care so much about bc he actually isn’t trying to scare you, it just so happens he does at times. He wants you to be comfortable around him, and respect his rules (which pretty much leaves you in isolation). So if you were to tell him when he is not angry or irritated, he’d be fine with it. NOW…let’s say you broke one of his rules…and he gets angry…

“Who was it? Who sent that text to you?”

“I-it…it’s a classmate. They were only asking to meet up so I could help them with the homework assignment.”

“Did I not make it fucking clear that NO ONE talks to you?”

“But…it’s for school Heeseung—“

“And that suddenly makes it better?”

“He-Heeseung please.”

“Come here.”

You take your steps closer when he suddenly stops you. “No. Fucking crawl.”

“W-what?”

“I SAID FUCKING CRAWL.”

You crawl in all fours, beginning to sob. Once you come within reach he grabs your chin and tilts it upwards to face him directly. “You told me earlier that you’re not scared of me, right?”

A shiver crawls up your spine. “Y-yes…”

You answer to confirm but you’re not entirely sure if that was the case anymore. His dark eyes widen, eluding terror in the finest form as a sadistic and psychotic expression takes form on his handsome face. He does not smirk but doesn’t furrow his brows in anger, instead, a blank and wide stare or twisted emotion eyeballs directly into your soul. God knows what he was capable of doing at this stage. A year escapes from the corner of your eye as you feel the tremble of fear hit you. You didn’t admit it verbally but indeed, you were afraid of him.

“Hmph…we’ll see about that.” He chuckles faintly as he pinches your chin harshly and mashes his lips against yours. Breaking the kiss, he tells you…

“I’m going to rip you apart.”

Authors note: if you know anything about heethan…you know what that means. And trust me, there will be more pain than pleasure this time around.

Now for Heelel…

Heelel likes to scare you. He likes to torment you at times because it’s his way of playing with you, since he loves to see you cry, laugh, smile, and be angry. If he’s been seeing a consistent smile on your face, he’ll love it absolutely, but will want just a little more bang for his buck, if you know what that means…

“I’m not scared of you anymore, heelel.”

“Oh really?” He looks up from his throne. His eyes wide with a horrific expression of sinister value. There he goes with that look of malice and twisted psychotic stare of murderous persona. “Feeling a little bold, aren’t we?”

You meant what you said, despite spitting it out of anger during the argument. Regardless of his stare, you maintained composure and refuse to falter. “Not bold. Fed up. I’ve been here for over a year and obeyed your every demand. I’ve given up my body, and there were times it was given against my own will I might add. Yet you still refuse to allow me the small bit of freedom to venture out and see my family. It’s unfair! I’ve told you I won’t leave, I just want to see them from time to time.”

He shoots up from his seat and grabs hold of you. He was so fast, displaying lightening speed as he not only embraced you with his own hands, but used the powers of his demonic force in telekinetic energy to keep you still. “How about I just make a visit and tear them apart, limb from limb, and have you witness their demise so you can forever hear their screams?”

You stare in shock. How could he say that to you? He takes notice of your surprised expression and kept it going. “I can send one of my brothers…or a demon spawned by the fires of this world that would love to purge and plunder into mortal flesh.”

“S-stop. You wouldn’t do that—“

“Oh no?” He chuckles as he scoots a piece of your hair aside lovingly. It was sickening sweet. The way he faintly smirked as he admired your face, held your wrist forcefully and pinned it on your lower back. “You wanna test the waters and see what happens, baby?”

He wasn’t bluffing. He loved you, insatiably…but that was all the more reason why he would do terrible things to hurt and isolate you. He loved you to do selfish things such as keep you all to himself, his possessive toxic obsession with you drove him to do so. With what he wouldn’t give to make you happy, and trust you to witness that he has done so many times. He has proven that he lives for you. He provides for you. He will do anything to make you feel at ease and happy. But cross and defy him as you are doing now, and he’ll punish you in a manner where it hurts the most…your loved ones you left behind. Even if they didn’t exist, he would find other ways to get his desperate screams out of you.

“Tell me darling, do you still feel ‘fed up’? Because we can keep going if you want…or we can stop and leave things as they are, and be happy. YOU WILL KEEP ME HAPPY.”

His grip tightens, causing a slight bit of pain at the been of your elbow as he pinches the small gap between your wrist and back, closing the remaining distance, enhancing the soreness in the process. You whine in pain as you try to use your free hand to push away but to no avail. “Listen to me, princess. I would kill for you. I would die for you. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to make you feel alive and eternally happy. But I will say this only one time…”

The corners of his mouth split, widening that offensively horrific grin he displayed. It was much more sinister and malicious than your ever seen him. His eyes widen psychotically, the sclera taking up more space as his black iris shrinks, enhancing that demonic and possessed expression. It was beyond terrifying. You swallow bile and terror as your eyes began to water, his expression was horrific enough, but to be this close as he closes the distance and his tongues which had grown longer and took the form that if a snake, slivers out and slithers against your skin. His voice was demonic in nature as it now carried a tune of high and low pitch simultaneously speaking the words. He has become the stuff that nightmares were made of.

“L-let go!”

“Answer me.” He maintains his force as he sternly demands you to obey. “You going to be good and keep me happy?”

You shift your face away and body squinting your eyes to avoid the ungodly expression closing in. His sharp and elongated teeth gently pressed against your cheek as he snarls a grin. “No matter if you willingly stay or not, whether you cry or laugh, or feel safe or frightened…just know y/n….i win either way.”

You gasp for air as you realized that the fear quaking in your chest caused you to hold in your breaths. “I have you…you’re mine. That’s all I need to feel complete. Whether you feel content or despair—is entirely up to you. But if you’re facing an eternity in Hell, let me tell you…it wouldn’t hurt to have a lover like me.”

He forces that offensive snake-like tongue coats the interior muscle and skin of your cheek and roof of your mouth, while his demeaning eyes violate your soul as he halfway shuts his lids in contentment. He was relishing in the current state of fear and despair you were in as you were forced to swallow his tongue down your throat, nearly making you gag.

He laughs maliciously. “It wouldn’t hurt to have me…care for you…to love you…to bring you happiness and give you whatever you ask for…aren’t I good to you baby?”

You nod urgently, hoping he would go back to normal already. “Say it.” He grits out as his tongue slowly slides out. Disgusting.

“Y-you’re good..t-to me.” You stutter as you hiccuped a sob or two. He caresses your cheek and pets your hair…his face and voice slowly transitions back to the dashingly handsome appearance you longed for. “Come here.” He smirks.

You collapse as you grab onto his chest, burying your face into him as you sob hysterically. You felt contradicted by holding on to him. You wanted to both, be comforted by him yet also run away. Far away. Since the latter was not an option, you needed to hold onto something…so why not him? The one who loves you more than his own eternal life.

“Shhh…you wanna dance with me baby? We can watch the stars and pick your favorite flowers. How does that sound?”

You grit your teeth as your sobs come to a calmed state. “Y-yes…that sounds good.”

“Good. No more of this talk about your freedom and leisure of traveling. You can go anywhere you like…so long as you’re under my sight.”

You nod. “Oh and y/n…”

You look up and witnessed that psychotic stare returning. “Try anything sneaky and I promise I’ll EAT YOU ALIVE.”

…….

So tell me anon, would you really want to tell either one of them that you aren’t scared of them anymore? 😏 I don’t think you guys want that.

[chitinleg]

got him off-balance!

#my art #ds9 #star trek deep space nine #julian bashir #elim garak #garashir #watercolor #image desc in alt text #i normally post on mondays but. today im breaking my pattern! getting a little silly. getting a little wild. garashir jumpscare #“tumblr user chitinleg garak would neot easily let himself be swooped off his feet into a hug like that” yes i know BUT! #look at his expression. look at how his arms r pinned. he didnt let this happen LMAO julian just surprised him. grabby huggy human behavior #if you look really closely you can see the tiniest frown in the world on Garak's face. because he's like “EEP !” #cant see bashirs face at all in this only his body but i think we can all imagine that whatevers going thru his head. he needs this hug bad #ALSO. for anyone wondering what the fucked up shadow is that starts at the juncture of the teal sleeve-cap where its set into the armhole #the jumpsuits have a bit of a fold of extra fabric (called an Action Pleat) there which allows for a little more maneuverability of the bod #AND creates a really sleek and flat back panel #because you can see the fabric twists along the side arent grabbing the flat back fabric theyre grabbing the fabric folded beneath it #often times i think about drawing out a dissection of kiras first uniform and this voy era one for other artists to use. bc god knows #i struggled at first to find full body references #they like to shoot ds9 very close to peoples heads. and the camera is so blurry. they smeared butter on that thing. god bless

[gumy-shark]

just realized my situation in college is so funny rn. heres why in a greentext format

>be gumy's parents >you are Good Christian Parents who want your daughter to Walk In The Ways Of The Lord >when she wanted to go to a secular college you were Very Worried that your Impressionable Daughter would get Radicalized By The Godless Atheist College People (this one is actually somewhat justified- i AM very impressionable and got radicalized in junior high in a way that was very very hard on my mental health and my relationships with my family) > be relieved when she chooses to go to a Good Christian College instead (it was my own free choice and i had my reasons). > surely, with her environmental science classes being taught from a God-Fearing Perspective, and with no Godless Atheist College People there, she won't get radicalized! > she gets radicalized anyways

#in my defense. learning about environmental science in the world today is like. how can you Not become radical #like. youre telling me there was 33000 PARTS PER MILLION OF LEAD IN THE SOIL OF A POOR NEIGHBORHOOD AND THE GOV KNEW AND DID NOTHING??? #WHILE RESPONDING WITH MUCH GREATER AID AND SPEED TO A FAR LESSER PROBLEM IN A NEARBY RICHER AND WHITER NEIGHBORHOOD??? #wow :))) okay :))) thats so cool and awesome guys :))) go america amirite? :))) #like the reason environmental science is such a leftist science #is because after like 5 minutes learning about the state our world is in and why you cease to be conservative #also my envirosci prof is great. like he teaches the class in a very balanced way?? #he presents the facts of what's happening and allows class discussion but lets us draw our own conclusions from them #which is a based teaching method here bc if he presented them with his idea of what we Should Be Doing ppl would get resistant

[hella1975]

assigning a character the highest honour like *adds go home by julien baker to their playlist*

#and by honour i mean pointing at them like TRAUMATISED! TRAUMATISED! TRAUMATISED! #like yeah relating to this song is a red flag actually. yeah it's one of the most personal songs in the world to me #and i actively am not allowed to listen to it some days bc it makes me significantly worse #even if im in a GOOD mood because of the layers upon layers of emotions ive associated with it #yeah i literally wont even blorbo post to this song even if it's accurate to a character because it's so personal #so they have to be REALLY FUCKING SPECIAL AND FUCKED IN THE HEAD to get this honour. enter touya #i made him a playlist im going crazy like yeah actually of course i was always gonna be weird about him #like he's got fire themes. he's got body horror. he just wanted to be good. he's ethel cain coded. he's georgia coded #he's got mommy AND daddy AND sibling issues. he's the only other character ive let even come close to mary on a cross #he's a waiting room girlie. he's an archer girlie. im tearing my hair the fuck out of my scalp #why does the first character ive latched onto this hard since CHUUYA have to be from mha of all things #like that's embarassing for me im embarassed to be here. and yet #touya todoroki #the thing that makes me sick about touya is yes the abuse he went through via his quirk and his dad etc etc #but also bc sekota peak happened when he was 13 right? and he's 24 now? that's 11 years unaccounted for #like ik it's confirmed his burns put him in a coma for 3 years and all for one and the dr guy just stapled his stubborn self together #which is something else i will YELL MY HEAD OFF ABOUT WHAT THE FUCKKKKK HE WAS A CHILD STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT #but im pretty sure it's confirmed that after 3 years he goes off again on his own? which still leaves him as a teenager? #like he straight up burns himself alive at 13 wakes up at 16 and reappears at 24 with dyed hair and piercings and a bad attitude #and im not supposed to wonder? or get upset? like i absolutely am leaning into the 'he was on the streets' angle bc i hate myself #and that's devastating and also what alternative is there logically like he has NOTHING #no home no money no name that he can feasibly use not even an appearance that will warrant anything but more cruelty #so youve got this child on the streets with injuries that absolutely cause insane amounts of pain daily he's literally STAPLED together #and he's completely alone and the only thing getting him through is this growing hatred and rage #like id set all my plans around killing the guy that put me there too actually just to fucking get me out of bed in the morning #I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM. WHERE WAS HE FOR THE PAST DECADE. HORIKOSHI PLEASE #I WANNA GO HOME IM SICK THERES MORE WHISKEY THAN BLOOD IN MY VEINS MORE TAR THAN AIR IN MY LUNGS #PIERCE MY SKIN NEEDLES TO WORN OUT RAGS THE FOLDS IN MY ARMS THE SICKENING BLACK AND I HAVENT BEEN TAKING MY MEDS #I KNOW MY BODY IS JUST DIRTY CLOTHES IM TIRED OF WASHING MY HANDS GOD I WANT TO GO HOME

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Naruto shippuden things that made me lose my mind (ep 244-260):

Dark naruto my beloved 🖤 (I wish naruto could externalize these thoughts to someone else and they could comfort him so he wouldn't have to comfort himself)

Kushina @ naruto: wow minato didn't tell u shit

There's something very... unsettling? To me about minato. I think maybe it's just bc bad writing but something feeling deeply wrong about him?

Child itachi: don't worry, sasuke, I'll protect u (I think they're framing this as a sweet moment but it just feels sad and fucked up and sinister bc itachi u literally r going to create a monster. Like u meant well in ur own fucked logic but u hurt him so so bad)

Kushina, dying: naruto, stay the fuck away from lord jiraiya

Kisame, confronting his impending doom: I choose death by shark attack

Tobi, on his way out the door to murder someone and desecrate a corpse: kabuto don't do anything fucked up while I'm gone

I can't take Kabuto seriously in that snake hoodie???

In Madara secret hide out of horrors he has a chamber of eyeballs, a mutieyed beast that sucks the souls from jinchuriki, 100,000 lil white soldiers, and the petrified remains of hashirama. What a fucking place to live.

Everytime we find a new character with part of hashirama in them, it only gets funnier

Spend 20 episodes traveling to keep naruto safe then just fucking instantly their position is compromised lmao

I would like everyone to stop lying to naruto, please

Yamatoooooo in the belly of a snake :'(((

7yr old naruto: what were my parents like? The 3rd hokage: fuck off. Bye.

The writers: what if we reanimated the original Naruto but gave kakashi smaller hair?

#listen. the flashback eps with kushina and minato are so fucking good. like best episodes so far #i would die for kushina. i lov her so much. minato just doesnt feel like a real person tho? #lile it feels like he read the script so his actions are dictated by the plot and he has no emotional reaction to them #bc he knos what's gonna happen. he is v pretty tho #i am hype for this war tho. i wanna see madara murder everyone #and i wanna kno obitos whole deal. i wonder if i would have figured him out by this point if i didnt kno #bc like at this point it seems pretty obvious bc like also im fucking awful at seeing things like that #anyway... i domt even kno im just glad naruto got to meet his mum #naruto #also i assume kabuto got to stay wuth tobi bc he dragged up the actual dead ass corpse of madara? #which is really fucking funny to me. like kabuto being like: yo look what i got here madara #and obito is standing there sweating like: fuck. this fucking snake is gonna spill my secrets better keep him close #i assume he needs to keep his identity a secret until he can actually revive madara bc that's why everyone is so scared of him #bc i was like y does he care if everyone knos who he is. at this point kakashi is the only one who would b emotionally affected by knowing #but yea its gotta b bc madara is scary powerful so the whole world is like. mmm lets not fuck with masked man #unrelated

[amoreenamp3]

Biden saying he has no faith in the current report of the Palestinian death toll number… what an evil evil thing to say

#the only reason i would suggest unreliability is bc of the lack of wireless and the blackout so i know there are 100% more than 7000 dead. #which i know is not what he means at all #im in shock that the world is just letting this happen

[anonprotagging]

so those dreams where I play SV and it's incredible have been totally replaced by nightmares now where I play it and it's literally so bad that I wake up from getting mad about it and like... can I just be normal about this one thing 🫥

#tag rambling #I dreamed that the intro was really weird and gene was thrown into the plot asap which was capturing powerful legendaries that were #causing destruction all over the region and KUKUI was helping but he had KNOWN it would happen beforehand and DIDN'T TELL US which was like #like DUDE come on. anyways gene was trying to get the last one which was the strongest but then he got caught in a beam and sent to a weird #like. not afterlife type thing but like a place where all the lost people caught in the beams were held #and everyone was experiencing a range of off feelings depending on which creature had caught them in a beam like severe depression #love to the point of obsession... rage... etc. but gene was able to shake it off and start getting people to break through it #until finally he got all the legendaries to let everyone go back except they liked him so much they didn't want him to leave #finally got back to the normal world and kukui was like 'thanks you saved us :)' all out of character and the title screen came up and just #I couldn't tell if that was the whole game or just a stupid hour-long intro with NO ACTUAL POKEMON TRAINING and either way it was so #infuriating (either bc it sucked as a full game or bc it made me wait so long to even get a starter just to show some backstory or the end #of the game or something????) that I woke up mad and with a headache

[tvrningout]

y'all remember when i said maybe cyrillo dies?? i take it back. he's faking his death and retiring to some village by the sea bc i said so uvu

#and actually i think that would be a more fulfilling end to his story for both cyrillo and readers #bc his thing is that he pretty much is living to help others and doesn't give himself that same care #he doesn't neglect his health or anything but the dude never goes on vacation #he throws himself into war when he swore he'd never do that again but it's like!! someone's gotta help the free army!! #so i really like the idea that maybe there's a situation in which it /appears/ cyrillo died #but nah he lived and he retired and became a no one like he was before everything happened #and he's happy he's finally living for himself and taking advantage of his second chance at life /for himself/ #for both cyrillo and rin i think a big character-defining trait of theirs is that despite what they've been through and will go through #they love life they love the world they're in they love people and so i think both of them are gonna have that choice #go rest or go back to work #and workaholic cyrillo chooses rest in the form of disappearing to a lil village #and rogue rin goes back to work bc she can't help it. she can't deny that people need her #and hers is a lil more serious bc sunna is like 'i don't gotta resurrect you again. you could die and be reborn anew' #but no rin loves her life despite everything. she's not ready to go yet #AAAHHH SORRY FOR THE RAMBLING I'M :' )))))) #i wanna try to write a lil more before bed so let me stop asdfg #headcanons | dórverold #headcanons | cyrillo #i don't wanna lose this just in case bc of the tags uvu

[k1rishiki]

my naming scheme for the resurrectionists causes me undue stress a lot of the time but when it works it Works

#edgar mortis is obv edgar allen poe + latin word for death. and his surname plays off the fact that there are four other resurrection men #only identified by their surnames which are pallor livor rigor and algor. rigor mortis should be easy to clock but the rest are all stages #of death as well when you attach -mortis to the end of them. which cements edgar's identity as a resurrection man even when he's farrr too #consumed by morana's world of magic and mystery to be actively working. #morana faust is a slavic death goddess + faust. the most famous necromancer in all of fiction. once again her surname cements her identity #as a necromancer specifically even when she gets swept away by unrelated magical happenings #nine and shi aren't their real names but their identification numbers are 9444999 and 4999444. 9 and 4 are both associated with death and #each of their numbers are the other's but reversed. also nine was a classical composer in life and there's a superstition that classical #composers will not live to write their 9th symphony (he sure as hell didn't lol) so it's fitting that he's the one who ended up with the #nickname. abberline isn't his real name either so he doesn't count. valdís has ancient norse for 'death' (val) + 'dis' (goddess) despite th #name not actually being used for any actual death goddess and her surname toth is likely derived from a medieval german word for death #her name isn't glaringly out of place with the rest of the cast but doesn't immediately let you catch on to her whole deal #which is good bc valdís is meant to sort of blend into the backround of reader's minds until The Reveal. #mara is a minor hindu goddess of death and her surname grave is. well. self explanatory. i tried to give the more non-magical side of londo #more straightforward names to contrast with some of the others and obv her dad was created before her and dr grave seemed like a good name #for someone who only popped up in the story while he was hiring professional grave robbers (now he pawns that task off on mara lol) #ereshkigal kore is just queen of the underworld + queen of the underworld but def has a very grandiose feel which is good bc that's #absolutely the vibes she should be giving off. all her servants' names boil down to figures associated with the greek + mesopotamian #underworlds. mainly attendants of aforementioned goddesses. which fits bc they all serve her #but i'd like to give special consideration to the maid trio here bc they're a set of triplets. and their last name is cerberus. #which famously had 3 heads. and the older two feature a similar naming scheme as persephone + eurydice (they even both end in the same e #sound) but the youngest's name is aisha which means 'living' or 'alive'. and obv her departure from the naming scheme makes her more easily #differentiated from her sisters + more memorable in the long run which is good bc she's the most important maid but it also gives me room t #have a 'my name means alive but she's named for the queen of the underworld so i'm willing to not live up to my name if it means being #closer to her' moment w a shitton of lilies in frame in case it isn't clear to anyone what's going on ('her' means eresh not persephone btw #and then there's dysmas. the patron saint of undertakers. which fits bc catholic. and sanson. as in the executioner. for a character heavil #inspired by the nasuverse's church executioners like kirei and ciel #rosette comes from the rosette nebula which looks like a skull. hayden is from one of my kids at work who said that next time i wrote a #murderer into something i had to name them after her so. here you go hayden. you get to be the cannibalistic child. (the topic came up when #i had to make a murder mystery for class so i stole the names from my kids and i told the ones whose names i used abt it later and she was

[navramanan]

Aquiring knowledge -> getting filled with frustration and anger and dread -> wanting to stay informed regardless -> aquiring knowledge -> getting filled with frustration etc etc

#i am fucking talking to the void and vallahi i WIIIIISSSHHHH i had a proper oulet to let out my frustration #but FFFFFFUUUUUCCCCKKKKK #nothing scarred me and showed me how fucking alone we were in our struggle and grief than the muslim world's reaction to rojava's invasion #in 2019. you know ok i know kurdistan gets little media coverage usually bc it's not relevant to american interest #but the invasion 2019 was HEAVILY covered by western media as it was the direct result of trump withdrawing the troops #and having a phone call with kerrrrrrrdogan saying hey you can invade now #so there was ZERO reason or possibility the muslim world wouldnt see what was happening #it was EVERYWHERE it got great western media coverage #but when i saw big muslim news accounts staying either silent OR siding with turkey i felt so fucking enraged and disturbed #and rejected. in turn there also werent individual muslims showing support as big crowds #like obv there were some here and there but not as a collective. they either sided with turkey or simply didnt care #you have to clock that. i cant say how many died but hundreds of thousands were displaced #turkey USED FUCKING WHITE PHOSPHORUS. WHICH IS A WAR CRIME. IT'S A CHEMICAL WEAPON #they literally said theyd create a strip of land to move syrian refugees there. arab refugees on kurdish land to change the demographic #and every fucking one went yeah that's fine nothing wrong with it. vallahi those people's plights are on you #and allah will ask. dont think he wont. while we were screaming for the muslim world to see us #they in turn pointed there fingers at us. said turkey was fighting terror. said they wouldnt hurt civilians #but what ever do you guys know what it's like to scream and scream but have no one bet an eye? #that's how i feel. that's how we kurds feel #man fuck off whatever i want to strangle someone #nesi rants

[crossbackpoke-check]

"This extra space next to me belongs to you. I know where I end now. I won't get lost." -- shoot me (metaphorically) and leave me for dead (metaphorically) why won't you. To make this about Dylan and maybe it's about Connor, maybe it's about Brinksy, maybe it's about any journeyman in the NHL. My brain screamed Chris Driedger and his memorable (to me) Players' Tribune article:

And how can you mention Dylan and Zach (Za-ach, the way Dylan says it) without me having a breakdown about them? You simply can't. And for the younger dudes, maybe it's a little Bords/Briss, not yet steady in The Show, a little bit of distance, a summer that tries to erase and make up all the memories they've made separately... and then a blurry insta story in Vegas. Just like old times but somewhere else. Maybe it's not the same bed, maybe it's not the same set of forks, but maybe it's the principle of the thing.

Anyway, goodbye. Sorry for this, your tag walls make me break out in imagined scenarios.

Much love. xxx

please never be sorry for sending me messages <3 i love reading them i love getting them i think they’re beautiful and i love them i’m!!!!! [🥹💕🦋🫧✨💘😭 <- the best approximation of what my heart is doing]

ok NOW i am taking this step by step because every narrative here kicked me straight in the knees (metaphorically) i am w e e p i n g (literally): i knew tangentially about chris driedger going to seattle but i had never read his players’ tribune love letter to seattle & all i can say is oh. oh. and with the part about trains delayed but still being right on time—

sometimes a dream is a truth your heart knows long before you do. the space that the city and the team made for him (“you’d be the only guy on the team”)🗣️🗣️🗣️ !!! but the way that chris talks about needing to put in the work & leo not letting him quit,,, that’s chris filling up the teakettle with twice as much water, crowding one side of the bed (falling asleep against a bus window dreaming), becoming unburdened by the idea of not being their guy, not having the fallback being their draft pick to content and settle himself with. that’s chris betting on a future. that’s the train coming down the tracks, right on time.

(i am feeling unhinged about it)

SECOND. i know i was the one that said zach and dylan to start so technically i brought this on myself but also i have been ktfo by the mere mention of the way that dylan says zach’s name different from everyone else, stealing an extra breath, stealing as much time as he can get with him, which reminded me of a poem i just read:

The Need Is So Great, Jim Moore

^^^dylan still in love with zach even as he’s leaving, can feel himself losing him, and taking every sliver of the love in his smile that he can get. even if he knows zach doesn’t still feel the same way he’s drawing out the long goodbye & saying i love you in a thousand ways without ever saying it out loud (“i have been asking for a time but in ways that have no words” because he doesn’t want to ask too much, to ask for love) in the hope that zach will say it back OKAY I’M LEAVING i can’t do this

that was a lie because THREE. “maybe it’s the principle of the thing” please insert the most ungodly screech how could you just (lovingly) come in straight with the steel chair and bean me upside the head with that l i n e i think this story has the potential for such tragedy in it but also the most tender domestic longing because bords & briss have known each other for a long time (i think) and guys do sometimes lose themselves when they first get to the nhl.

it’s a big scene, you’re with big name guys, you’re finally doing the thing you always dreamed about, you’re no longer necessarily the best because everyone’s the best, you’re not sure how you fit in, you can get lost in the glitz and the glamor of it but you can also literally get lost in it, the slog of the season and getting caught up and down between teams and leagues and endless airports and buses and travel and ice rinks, losing your phone (accidental) and having new people hound you for quotes and fame and connection so you lose your phone (on purpose) and i think where i’m trying to go is: this could play out as the tragedy of borde going to the california coastline and briss shipping off to the vegas strip and both of them getting a little lost.

maybe there’s someone else, maybe i am steadfastly not thinking about “a summer that tries to erase and make up all the memories they've made separately” as either a summer of them pretending things are ok after a year of barely speaking and now being completely different people they never were before OR a summer of them trying to pretend like they can forget about each other because maybe they didn’t think their relationship was the same thing, is all, when they were or weren’t together. maybe it’s nobody’s fault but for the fact that they were scared and tired and lonely trying to make it in the big times and didn’t know how to show it. and then borde shows up with takeout and plastic forks in vegas and it’s december and nothing like winter in ann arbor and still they fill up all the empty spaces in each other with the things they didn’t know they’d miss until they were gone and this is the real thing, not whatever they were trying too hard to be, to recreate their own nostalgia for the love in their memories. it’s the principle of the thing, is all, to always be true to the love they have right now & not what they think it should be.

sorry that i wrote you kind of an essay of an answer but i had so so so many thoughts because your ask was so lovely so thank you for sending it to me (you are always welcome to!! i love your imagined scenarios!!! cannot even explain how much!!!) & thank you for taking the time to read my walls of tags :))) <3

#liv in the replies #every time you send me a message i do the thing where i’ve got heart emojis for thumbs & cease any coherency #FIRSTLY chris driedger who i loved as seattle’s goalie without even knowing the story: #dreidger fourth layer of a dream is making me tear up AGAIN hours later as i try to write this the echl the coast easy come hard to leave & #when he talks about being somebody’s guy laying my head down in the bog & dragging my hands over my face chris who let you say that. who let #u break my HEART i truly don’t think i will ever recover from the inception reference bc that’s what they all talk abt u know? the nhl dream #the players’ tribune articles are often some of the most poetic & touching sports writing & every time i am reminded i lose my shit about it #SECONDLY: #the ever present spectre of dylan’s first boyfriend zach werenski #i have so so so many quotes? drafts? posts? about the thing with saying someone’s name to call them closer to you i say your name to speak #more of you into the world so i will possibly look for some of those to say what i mean but also: this poem was originally reminiscent of #willingly by tess gallagher which is my ajax jack / superbuddies poem & this specifically did go with the a drop of paint / the light has #fallen through you part of it but there’s a part of THIS poem which i did not include that talks about the late light / has already happened #will go on happening forever & that whole poem with this now to say i know it’s embarrassing i’m asking for it :: easy to write about light #like falling asleep on the couch & having to carry yourself up to bed is the dylan/zach heartbreak of this. waiting & waiting for the things #you used to do & the love you used to / were promised to have with the hope that if you keep the coffee ready he’ll come drink it & instead #you have too many cups of tea one yours & one cold then half-warmed over & too sweet for your tastes but you’ve learned to drink it anyway #okAY now third: #this w/the UMICH BOYS? N O I DIDN’T EVEN!!! NOT A THOUGHT IN MY BRAIN!!! & now i can’t stop thinking!!! & i had an entire PLAYLIST already #a ??? while ago before i even truly knew the umich boys Narratives™️ i heard maude latour’s song ‘one more weekend’ & went hahaha isn’t that #a great song for when you have that One Summer of college before everyone splits off into their own lives? isn’t that a fun little umich boy #going into the nhl narrative?? to which i said NO but then it spiraled into a playlist &now there is delightful heartbreak to go with vibes #umich scholars please feel free to correct me if i’m wrong on any points i can’t remember anything presently about anything #also the f a c t that that vegas picture is real and i know exactly what you’re talking about is making me %^��*]+£’ bc how!! is that real!!! #okay ALSO just throwing in brinksy like a casual AHAHA have brainworm for a year (my autocorrect tried to go bringst like angst which. lmao) #connor and dylan… all of my journeymen… we did not touch that because i WILL start yelling about sam gagner and marc staal and #the chrysalis and the caterpillar

[yeonban]

Soma's bushido summed up:

#muse: date soma. #That's one of Soma's canon quotes from 15 years ago btw... it's an embedded belief by present day #Naotora in his speech patterns: (flexible) want to. should [do x bc he feels it's a good idea]. #Soma in his speech patterns: (rigid) have to. can't [do x bc it isn't smth that's allowed]. #Not to say he doesn't /want/ to see a better world. He does. but the more idealistic version of him died over a decade ago #He wouldn't be pushed to keep going by just thinking that he 'wants' to do something or 'wants' to see something happen #what is 'want' in a society that represses individuality and calls for everyone to live for their nation/clan rather than themselves #'must' and 'have to' are firmer concepts that he can hold on to. it means there are /important/ things at stake if he doesn't follow thru #Ask Naotora what he wants and he's going to list off a hundred things as easily as he breathes #Ask Soma what he wants and he's going to stare at you like you've grown a second head bc wdym what he /wants/ #Naotora is what he wants to be first and foremost. Soma is what he needs to be first and foremost. #It's why I'm so :') at his interactions w/ Seiroku bc he doesn't /have/ to be anything around him and that's a VERY novel feeling #Soma w/ his people: I'm their captain -> I must never show them weaknesses. I have to be an unshakeable stronghold #Soma w/ the grand generals: We're friends but also rivals -> I have to remain on my guard about their propositions & not show any weakness #Tsubasa's kind of an exception but EVEN W/ HER... Soma doesn't /fully/ let his guard down; altho it's mainly out of force of habit #He does trust her; and he does a lot of things she wants him to bc he has a soft spot for her & knows she doesn't mean him harm #but at the end of the day... ALL of the grand generals are competing against each other #there are only so many resources they can use (esp in this arc) and their duty; which comes first; is to ensure their own band's survival #so despite trusting Tsubasa; at the back of his mind he's prepared for the eventuality of her choosing the Tokugawa over their friendship #He cherishes his childhood friends but man is there a LOT of baggage and a very specific detachedness in his interactions w/ them #That for the better or for the worse aren't there (at least rn) in his interactions w/ Seiroku which allows Soma to Be Himself

[fatespalm]

solemn vow to never be complacent or meek around things i feel strongly about again — to at least start the conversation even if i don’t have the words to talk back exactly to a poisonous idea — in kind, to pick up the thread if someone else does the same — tired of letting evil shit unfold —

#honestly this mostly only happens because of my disability which. i've been dreaming/reading about navigating that in ways feel better #or else because im scared of violence as a trans woman but i’m sick of fear of violence making me passive #rarely because i got scared in the crosshairs of financial insecurity and feared losing work #but that is what im parsing this time and very determined not to let that happen ever again #cuz like. having the supposed 'non-action' of passivity even available to you is a privilege of whiteness #in this case it was taking a creative-side gig on a play that felt very clear the playwright had given very little if any consideration #to nonwhite perspectives like clearly by a white person thinking about a white audience kinda liberal politics #and i took it bc my friend's mentor was directing and she put us in touch and spoke highly of him #and she's indigenous and very willing to call out white bullshit so i had some hope/trust that he would push it more #and he........ did at least cast a latino actor in the one role that would have made the play horrifically racist #if it had been cast as a white person but that felt like doing the absolute least to me #im still very much figuring this world out #understanding the ethics of theater work and im glad i did this in that regard #cuz like. i didn't fully realize that my only real chance to make a creative + ethical statement was right out the gate in accepting the gi #as an SM like... there's really no other chance to have an opinion so i should not take work if the script doesn't align w my ethics #and use that rejection as a chance to make it clear what's fucked up #...if i even ever SM again that was the most stressful gig i've ever done and i didn't even get paid for it. fuck #sorry for writing half the post in the tags. if ur reading this ur too close >O< jk haaiiii thx for reading my diary #very much a 'i am thinking through these concepts still and ur welcome to share ur thoughts on them' kinda post

[hella1975]

wicked game by chris isaak as a zukka song. discuss

#as THE zukka song even. ive been listening to this on loop this morning #it's also specifically very tams and taob zukka coded just bc it's got that jaded 'been through hell' vibe to it #'the world was on fire and no one could save me but you' hello... literally the war..... sokka pulling zuko out of it.... the gaang winning #'i never dreamed that id love somebody like you' GOES BOTH WAYS #also the chorus kinda reluctant to fall in love but it's happening anyway? VERY TAOB AND TAMS CODED #like i always said taob zukka's anthem was georgia particularly bc of 'if i fix you will you hate me' #and 'i dont want to fall in love with you (the world is only gonna break your heart)' gives similar vibes #and the tams angle is bc tams zuko's whole thing is that he wants NOTHING to do with the war #like he's had enough he's seen enough he's well and truly given up hope #he's lost his fight which is such a heartbreaking thing to consider for ZUKO of all people #and the gaang kind of. forcefully give him hope again and restore his faith in humanity and he's fighting it every step of the way #bc if he gets his fight back then it means he can't just be jaded and indifferent to the injustice he's seen and experienced #he has to deal with it head on and that's such a horrible scary thing and he just doesn't want to fight anymore #literally 'what a wicked game to play to make me feel this way what a wicked thing to do to let me dream of you' #in this essay i will- #twice as many stars #taob updates #<- very funny to me that i just use that tag as a taob dumping ground like it very rarely has anything to do with an update <3 #zukka

[cinnabeat]

re:mind costs 30 fucking dollars............

#im gonna replay kh3 and im gonna Pay Attention #i WAS planning on playing re mind too and i will but god damn thirty fucking dollars #also while i do understand how the disney worlds and the attraction flow make sense in the context of the story #like the sleeping realm theory like i see why they would do that #and by didney worlds i mean basically replaying the whole movies with sora as a background character #rather than an actual driving force that has an affect on the preconceived plot #like i see why its like that from a narrative point of view #but as a real person playing the game its just really annoying having so much disney shoved into my face #yes its dumb to be saying that about a game thats literally disney but Anime but at least in previous games its like #like i said sora has an ACTIVE affect on the stories like things play out differently maybe a bit similar but at least not beat for beat the #same or even its not set in the movie timeline at all just before or after the stories or somewhere in the middle #the point its not a retelling its like those fix it fics where someones like what would happen if this person was here instead #and i like dthat! made it very unique and enjoyable and not make me feel like i was watching a movie in the middle of a game #and like i said i can see why narratively having sora in the background and unable to truly influemce the stories bc ultimately it was about #the people and THEIR relationships and not some outside force (heartless) causing problems #like i get that but good god was it tedious and annoying and just ugh #i swear hearing fucking let it go in the middle of the game was so annoying i cant even remember what the point was of it like character wis #wise for sora i mean like idk what he gained from that bc i just checked out #like thats truly my one complaint about the game is just all the disney. it was only confusing for me bc i did NOT pay attention to the plot #at all which is not a fault of the game. also the attraction flow was useless to me like just plain annoying man like literaly disney advert #advertisements i hated it #michi tag