#bc i worry ppl will see it and be like oh i get it this guy doesnt know how to draw. heart.

[skunkes]

#i hope this is at least Good bad and not Bad bad ykwim. charming bad #bc im awareeee of the anatomy mistakes bt i try not to care so much on trad art but i still do #bc i worry ppl will see it and be like oh i get it this guy doesnt know how to draw. heart. #anyway idk why my fone camera keeps capturing the very top as blurry? :/ its not Crisp bc of my blunt #colored pencils bt looks so blurry idk...i put a bit of a filter to make it pop more hope it isnt too ugly after that #also i love putting the marker color swatch circles on the side wee hee ^_^ #a doodley

[ajaxpilled]

-

#non kink people are so weird to me bc #long story short i have finally gained some weight through many tropes i did not even realise were happening #which is a good thing bc everyone close to me is worried abt my weight bc im naturally underweight #and somebody mentioned it to me recently like oh wow so glad to see you’re getting better #and my bf who is completely blissfully utterly unaware of this kink and just rly likes cooking #put a HAND #on my STOMACH #and was like yeah you eat very well for me don’t you :) and kissed my forehead and Kept His Hand there for a while like ??? #ppl are way too open about weight fluctuations and how full or hungry they are for my liking like.. #how do u do all this and feel so normal and open about it #okay sorry #rambles #things such as this have happened before but this one had me so awkward #smile thru it they won’t find out they won’t find out they won’t find out !!!!! #ive only dated or been friends with people who have disordered eating or care for beauty standards before so it’s all New To Me #tw disordered eating #?

[martyrbat]

so many of you talk about the cruel adults in your childhood that negatively effected you and caused lifelong insecurity yet you're still perfectly fine with being that mean stranger to any kid that has the misfortune of existing around you and thats just really gross !!!

#like i get kids can be overwhelming for a various amount of reasons but its not going to kill you to treat children with basic human decency #adults can be just as overwhelming or annoying—if not more. yet if you talked to an another adult the same way you do to a kid #then ppl would fucking hate you and not want to be around you because youre not being cool and witty—youre just mean!!! #everyone has experienced the frustration of being a kid being mistreated by an adult. some more than others #rather its ignoring your bodily autonomy (from sa and assault to hugging you when you don't want to be touched to not letting you #make your own harmless choices like a haircut or whatever). everyone has been talked down to or had their opinion treated like its nothing #or that their thoughts or input doesn't matter. everyone has a childhood experience with a mean or judgemental adult #yet over and over ppl are fine just repeating that cycle of abuse and hatred #like youre a young adult and youre still getting treated like shit by older ones. but youre able to have a drink or you graduated or smthn #so now you feel like you earned that right to be judgemental & angry & mean to a group of people that didnt fucking do anything to you #anyways. this is because im sick and had to go to the store to get groceries and meds #so its a 20 minute walk to the nearest store in 108 degrees bc i dont have gas money and then in the store im ofc using a face mask #like im sweaty and feel disgusting and like shit but this kid was SO fucking excited about his spiderman toy and wanted to talk and #his mom said ‘i told you no one wants to hear about that crap leave her alone’ and like?? no fuck off let a kid be happy?? hes not fucking #doing anything wrong?? so we talked and he showed me the little tiy that lights up and asked if i saw the new spiderverse movie #and i told him i havent! so he asked why so i explained i have photosensitivity and what that means and why i cant see it #(‘even though i heard its super cool!’) and HE WAS SO SWEET... like immediately hid the toy because oh! flashing lights can hurt me! #and then immediately said dont worry because he'll tell me about it so its like i saw it instead! #and like. guys imma be honest with you. i stilm got no fucking idea what this movie's plot is. #but you bet your fucking ass i was pretending like i was following along & was going ‘no way!’ ‘so it's a parallel universe...?’ ‘oh wow!’ #like yea its unnecessary. i felt oike i was gonna collapse and im still struggling to breathe at home now. but also i been the kid #who just wanted to talk about my interests and no one wanted to or was dismissing it. #i know it's not a end of the world deal but i also know that crushing feeling. you gotta be the kindness you want to see in the world yknow #anyways. be nice to kids or im not going to be nice to you. they're one of the most vulnerable members of our society and deserves kindness

[starlooove]

I rlly liked red hood the hill bc besides the gift it completely ignored everything else with the batfam which to meeee I’m taking it as the hill has been overlooked by the bats forever (see Orpheus rising) so yeah nobody there gives a fuck about those people and jason knows better than to bring that shit over there

#genuinely tho #I dislike the trend rn of simplifying Jason and Bruce’s issues and making it seem like Bruce was nice and accepting all along and Jason just #needs to get with the program #like the fanficication of that and the Damian Bruce issues or Damian tim issues or even Dick and bruce issues #where everything comes down to the kids being insecure and Bruce being bad at communicating #which has always been PART of the main issues but using that as the crux and lens through which a solution will be acheived is a stretch #a stretch only made in fix it fics that is picked up by ppl who dont read shit and then writers who dont read dont care and get a check #THIS IS MY ISSUE WITH WHERE IT SEEMS BATFAM IS GOING THAT IS NOT AN ISSUE I HAVE WITH RE #NOT ABOUT RED HOOD THE HILL #back to red hood the hill #i DO like them #playing off how jason has always been able to relax there #with a community that has eachothers back #and the flip from #his early red hood days to seeing dana go that path is soooo #what i find interesting tho as that he positions himself as support and backup more than a deterrant #like yes he does try to talk her down a lot but most of the time hes living his life with a worried eye on her #and i think it shows to how he reacted to ppl (bruce) being heavy handed with him #and u know i love the batfam repeating awful cycles shit i think its very interesting that this is one jason didnt repeat #maybe bc hes so close to the feeling or that dana isnt to him what he was to bruce or even that hes just relaxing and thinking clearly and #above all trusts her #most toxic fun future would be for her to break that trust and him to go crazy but thats a diff rant #anyways my entire summary for jasons character is that THAT is what good coochie does to a nigga #carmen thank you for your service another crazy off the street 🙏🏾 #red hood and the hill #oh. still no Orpheus mention #no it doesn’t hurt less anytime 💔 #Jason Todd

[suntails]

Hiya!

I saw your SilRuggie post and I feel you on the "Silver and his many boyfriends" part.

Idk what it is about Silver but he's so... Shippable?

Like I ship SilVil, KalimSil and JadeSil which are kinda popular. But it's also stuff like RidSil and LeoSil (oh so much brainrot currently about LeoSil,) Which aren't as popular.

He's probably my most shipped character like... EVER.

(I may have gotten some ship names wrong)

IT’S THE CHEMISTRY IT’S THE WAY HE HAS CHEMISTRY WITH SO SOSOSO MUCH OF THE CAST!!! he’s so deeply just…good, and he cares so earnestly, and he has examples of interactions with almost fuckgng everyone at this point. like i can understand why someone would ship just abt any silver ship, i GET it, bc theres so much potential. i think i have like…3? that im neutral on? maybe?

also hearing u associate silvil with the kinda popular ones, im fuckign weak at the knees. that is incorrect but im pretending ur right bc it makes me oh so happy

#ask #nervouslywaitingforlife #its the way i like all of em. i love him he deserves love #silvil i have a manifesto abt #silkali i think they are best friends in LOVE with each other but specifically as friends. not that they love each other tho. theyre IN LOVE #does that make sense. IN LOVE as FRIENDS. IN LOVE. theyre married #jadesil gives me ‘theyll take rugged nature walks together’ and jade is so refreshed to have someone so sincere and sweet in his life #someone u can read like a book someone who will earnestly appreciate u. silver will love jades dedication and isnt put off by him like most #bc he sees ppl for the good in them. wipes a tear #silrid i feel so strongly abt. i firmly believe theyd be very sweet and good to each other. horse girls. riddle picked sil specifically for #his master chef partner. he chose him intentionally. silver acknowledges and appreciated riddles dedication and work ethic and talks highly #of him. in book6 ch6 iirc thats when riddle gets taken by styx and the way silver SHOUTS in worried fear. he LOVES him #i do think theyd get divorced but not in a funnt leovil way in a sad ‘things just arent working despite us loving each other’ way. adult yk? #leosil should take naps together. those are my thoughts. i want ruggie and sebek to find them passed tf out in the gardens on a reg basis #and this only scratches the surface of dear catríonas thoughts on sil ships. u didnt even mention silsebe and thats his most popular ship #i like him w ruggie too and jack and jamil and and and and AGGHHH dies #ADDING TO MY TAGS. FORGOT TO MENTION SILIDIA TOO. OH MY GOD THE FUCKING POTENTIAL AAAAAAGGHHHH take me off the stage i could ramble forever #me violently pointinh to my conspiracy board and detailing his chemistry with every single person in the cast

[cerealmonster15]

man 9 times outta 10 i do not wanna hear Gamer Takes from people who do not play the game they’re talking about lol. Like sure here’s a way to be subjective and nuanced about it but often times People Are Not. But god they sure think they know what they’re talking about lol

#I work in gamedev and it is. Frustrating LOL #this isnt even about a game I work on #but like god damn #people will see a bad weak ass take #and be like oh i don’t like or play that game but it’s getting dunked in so I will agree #gamers are frustrating but ppl that don’t even play the game are more annoying imo LOL #like why r u being like this. go do something else #SORRY just. fbfhjcnfjdhdhdjfgkng #or like when leaks come out and people are like #OMG WHY DOES IT LOOK SO BAD #because. it is unfinished leak. u ass. jdjcjcnfngngn that DID happen 2 where I work #talking to gamers is so 😬😬😬😬😬 sometimes #then talking to other gamedevs can be so healing. bc they understand. we complain together lol #like I’m kinda glad the games I work on rn aren’t talked about in the spaces I’m in #that’s a worry I have about when I one day switch companies #if I play something I do care about or is more talked about #I’m gonna have to see people talk about it. and be annoying 😭😭😭😭 #SORRY I woke up GRUMPY dndncjcnvjfjvnvv

[angelsdean]

i think dean is someone who really panics when he the people he cares about aren’t in his line of sight / presence. like watching people leave (not even in the dramatic sense, like. just leaving the house / where he can see them) freaks him out. he’s gotten used to masking it really well at this point so like. no one knows but it manifests in little controlling actions and anger which obvs is annoying to other people like dean NEEDS to know where sam is going when, when he expects to be back, he NEEDS cas to check in when he’s gone for longer than a few hours and it’s yes, deeply rooted in his abandonment issues but also. extremely rooted in his fear as a child that whenever john walked out the door might be the last....like he literally was a little kid waiting anxiously and scared shitless for his dad to come back from hunts, knowing that it was very very possible he might never come back. like kid dean has bobby and pastor jim’s numbers memorized and knows that if john’s not back / doesn’t check in after three weeks (long, long after the grocery money has run out) he’s supposed to call them. anyways. yeah...so dean seeing someone walk out the door. instantly flooded with anxiety and freeze response 

#which is partly why. 'i didn't stop you i just let you go' bc like. he was frozen he was angry he was panicking !! #thinking like. oh god he's leaving oh god what if i never see him again he's leaving for good he's not gonna call he's not gonna check in !! #but yeah so like. in general tho he's really really a control freak abt knowing where ppl are #when people don't check in he gets. SO mad and most of them don't get it bc of course dean WILL NOT explain it #he doesn't even really fully understand it himself bc obvs he's never sat down and analyzed the inner workings of his mind lol #but yeah like sam especially gets so annoyed and thinks its like. a controlling older brother thing #cas doesn't get it for a long long time bc he doesn't think anyone would ever worry abt him :( #but once they get together he always always checks in! #the one time he forgets bc he got caught up chit chatting with one of the vendors at the farmers market....is catastrophic #like dean's worried out of his mind blowing up cas's phone (which died bc he was taking so many videos of jack at the petting zoo) #dean would've come to the market but he wanted to work on restoring the barn #anyways so like. yeah he's freaking out jumping to the worst case scenarios thinks something terrible's happened to cas and jack #when they finally walk thru the door at like 6pm dean starts sobbing and wraps his arms around his family like. why why didnt u call? #he's both sad relieved and a lil pissed like. obvs logically he understand once cas explains but he's still like. #channeling some of that fear into anger bc it's a hardwired habit he's still struggling to break #so there's a bit of grumping and cold shoulders while he's making dinner but then once they all sit down together he's like. i love you #got carried away w these tags whooops #dean studies #vic.txt

[perenlop]

im not having a certified Misophonia Moment im just feeling a bit lonely about it rn

#theres always this nagging insecurity in me thats like. oh maybe its not real and im just faking it to be a jackass #bc i see so few people ever talk about it or how to cope with it #what actually prompted this was an ad on instagram like advertising these ear things for ppl with misophonia #and it just hit me really quickly like. i think thats the first time ive seen someone try to advertise an aid for it? #or just use the term misophonia #idk its like. validating but its also got me kinda sad #i feel like part of it is like the intrusive thoughts? idk if its appropriate to apply that term here #but like misophonia is legitimately agonizing and puts the worst kinda of thoughts in my brain i feel horrified at later #abd i get really heated actually trying to talk about it #so theres a lot of anger and desperation around the topic and i worry abt getting dismissed at best or demonized at worst #and thats not me putting the blame on us i just wonder like. how much people decide we’re not worth acknowledging over that #echoed voice

[treesbian]

trans women posting in those lesbian subreddits will go like "hi r/LesbianActually. i'm a trans woman and sometimes I will breathe near cis women. is this okay?" and a scary amount of people will tell her no and get a million up votes

#talk tag #some girl asked if there are lesbians attracted to trans women pre op and she’s getting shamed for it?? #and then the ppl being 'nice' to her are telling her she should 'stick to bisexuals' #she said she was apprehensive about that bc she was worried they'd see her as a man. #which i do understand! but bisexuals are not uniquely transphobic. clearly....! #anyway i just told her that i personally am open to any kind of woman no matter what they look like as long as we click somehow!! #and that i was probably in the minority for that. but idk. and then i got downvoted rip #many tme lesbians will say things like trans women are women and no woman owes u femininity and womanhood isn't based on appearance #and then they'll become aware of a trans woman who hasn't medically transitioned and start screaming and crying and throwing up #i thought appearance and femininity weren't end all be all factors of being a woman??? #oh she said pre Transition. not pre op. #but still

[scionshtola]

shb is such a trying time for cori for many reasons obviously but especially for shtola reasons

#imagine your best friend passes out in front of you and you find out she’s been soul snatched #and you’re like oh this is extra terrifying for me bc i’m in love with her and only just realized #and then you go where her soul is and it’s been three years for her but only two weeks maybe for you #and you’re so happy to see her again but she has people on standby to kill you bc your soul is messed up and makes you look like the enemy #and one of those ppl on standby is a guy who is obviously in love with her #and she’s a lesbian so you’re not worried she returns the feelings but it is so annoying #bc he gets to be obvious and you have to keep it to yourself in case you ruin everything by saying it out loud #but then she almost dies and you’re like i can’t wait any longer i have to tell her #but first she tells you your soul is getting worse #and then you’re like well now i can’t tell her bc what if i do and then i turn into a sineater and she has to kill me #and so you walk to your potential demise knowing you love her and keeping it from her so that if she has to kill you it might be easier #(nvm that it could never be easy) #and this is all over the course of like a month #and this whole time shtola is like. dermot kennedy voice if she was in love she would have said it by now #working on various shb fics rn and feeling unhinged so. here we are #bye ahdhdjsk #shadowbringers spoilers #oc: corisande ymir

[frazzledazzlin]

hope u guys don't mind me being a little queer sometimes and talking to myself in the tags, it helps clear my head since people can filter out rant posts easily

#bc i had not used this place in a while until late 2022 ive absolutely forgotten if i used to talk to myself in tags here before or not #i say this bc i now have people who actively see my art here n just throwing random rants here would be very rude so i prefer tags help #feels safer here too LOL #also feels a little scary but im sure that's normal for many that there are ppl who read all tags mein gott #NOT A BAD THING THAT PPL READ TAGS i wouldn't be writing anything if i wanted to kill people for reading tags lol #just stating observations aheem aheem #its like writing on a public bathroom's walls and people passing by to be like “damn bitch ok” /funny #also do not worry at all about how i express myself i do apologize if my words sometimes sound like im on the brink but like #violence is the only way i love to be expressive HELP #watch me be on the government watchlist for the shit ive said gootbyeeeeeeee #but do not feel worried i will be ok eventually every time. sometimes i just gotta explode oh so violently to deflate and feel normal again #WISH I COULD USE EMOJIS ON THIS DAMN PC #anyway the person im trying my damned to avoid is Sure Making It Difficult #at least the people i wanted to know why i was autotune crying baby for a while heard me out n im alive in that regard finally smile emoji #how long can you keep gently hinting you want to distance yourself from somebody until you lose your goddam mind and feel sweet relief when #they actually leave said group themselves after getting my blunt hints help help #oh i sound so fucking rude with just my side but mein gott i don't care bc it was never a serious thing to begin with #just shot my anger thru the roof for good reason and finalliegh im getting mutual distance from that person lol #never get close with ur fave artists worst mistake of my life /hj for real #u start off loving seeing them every time and then boom youre sad how things turned out every time you see them my god #also make sure ur minor friends dont feel like they need to mend things for the adults i feel so fucking sad for someone bc of this rn but #i talked to them n hopefully they understand aouhg. #anyway back to queer posting thats enough soup for today good god #ranting

[dangaer]

genuinely love being unapologetically long with my writing like, sorry you had to wait for months but honestly ive elongated my responce because there is so much i want to write and explain and tell in our muses story that im lowkey obsessed with it.

#❛ 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ⧽ — ooc. #i say: oh this will be a short reply #and then watch the draft grow steadily longer #while turning tht blind eye as if it never happened #the thing is i respect my partners no matter how much you can write #and im never sat here counting words and going wow they didn't match the ones i wrote. #for me its as long as youre giving something to work with. if i have to lead every instance of plot it makes a draft #difficult to reply to but sometimes some characters need a follow. its like managing a convo #i used to get so nervous about reply length bc i worried ppl thought it was too much but honestly its smth that makes me happy #some drafts i keep shorter so my partner doesnt feel like they have to either. #i just like writing a lot for different things so you guys have smth to work with. im always worried i dont leave enough #but do message me if that is the case to something i give you!<3 #TBD. #going to sleep in early tonight im thinking and then despite the business of my weekend ill see what i get up to here<3

[nomaishuttle]

well nvm gets scared. made a poll but now im scared bc its music based

#i have this horrible horrible fear ill mention liking a song and everyone will be like Oh no that song sucks and actually you shoild kys #for liking that song. and then i explode into 5billion pieces... sigh #N ITS NOT LIKE THIS IS EVEN A 'CRINGE' BAND OR ANYTHING. i do lidten to 'cringe' #bands but. whatever #and ik its dumb yk. like its music i like it thats fine.. but i do get embarassed t say im a lemon demon fan or whatever #bc ppl associate lemon demon fans with being So annoying (understandable) #but like. idk man i just like th songs... etc #lemon demon isnt th subject of th poll i made btw. its literally a rly well loved album and band and stuff im just so scares... #its hard being a girlie who loves music n loves talkin abt music while also being So incredibly scared of ppl making fun of my music taste #ITS SO DUMBBBBB ITS SO DUMB. IT DOESNT EVEN MATTER IF PPL THINK MY MUSIC TASTE IS ANNOYING BC IT MAKESME HAPPY!! #THATS ALL THAT MATTERS AND MUSIC IS SUBJECTIVE but still im so sensitive abt it. and its dumb as hell bc it isnt even that like. idk.. #and im th same way with most of my interests likee. partially i dont post abt my interests bc i Fucking hate fandom so badly #another reason is bc likee. idk i dont consume media that much atm... I wanna start reading more books n watching more things tho #but th main reason is like. Sigh ig it ties into th hating fandom thang i dont want ppl to think of me as being In a fandom for something #not that im into anything heinous yk. but like i get scared publically being like Yeah im into cookie run. or whatever.bc theres like #already a preconceived notion of cr fans NOT THAT LIKE.. NIT THAT FANS OF THINGS R OPRESSED RJGNFJGNNG #but like yk. i get worried ppl will see that im a cr fan and think im one of Thise cr fans #not just cr..other things as well but crs th most like.controversial ig... #but even w/ fandoms that dont have baggage and stuff i dont want ppl t see that im interested in it and have that like. idk idk #i dont want ppl to think of me as A fan of a thing bc im my own person. idk if that even makes sense i think i sound dumb... #i just get rly rly rly worried abt peoples perception of me n like.every thing i do i imagine how ppl perceive that and how it changes #their view of me.yk... it freaks me out rly rly rly bad #whatttever tho. abd yes i understand i sakd Ya i wouldnt publically say im a fan of x thing..And then said it publically #but tags arent public to me.. this is my special zone for my besties only.. #whatttever. if uve read this far ill judt tell you th poll is for umm. favorite song off of how to be a human being by glass animals #its likee. one of the Very few albums where i have the entire thing on my playlist.. th knly other one i cn think of that i dont Need to #get rid of JFFBHF is daft punks discovery .... #i have a couple other full albums but theyre from when i ws #15. so like.. #whatever. idk . its dumb t be freaked out over a poll but its also bc Since i dont post abt my interests n stuff im like. well im nt llowed

[noxtivagus]

these next few weeks r gna be extra crazy oh god

#🌙.rambles #uhh school yes. we go back to onsite (i'm hyflex) soon #i really have no idea what the future holds T_T i continue to believe in myself yes but #shs. yeah. #i'm hoping that i'll meet new ppl n make more friends #n i'm really going to have to prioritize my studies. i think i'm smart enough for a scholarship when it's time for college #hoping stem doesn't kill me T_T academics aren't particularly difficult for me but the workload n my mental health is uhhh 💀 #i'm really going to have to fix my sleep sched. n time management bcs i'm gna join some school orgs this year #last two school years in this pandemic have been kind of a rest time for me. idk my mental health somehow got really fucked up #anyways i wna indulge more in hobbies as well so i'm rlly gna have to manage my time n energy better >.> #n then ffxiv oh god. 6.2 coming up but i'm still catching up on 6.0 and 6.1 T_T #i'm worried about ultimate/raiding prog w the static. i shldn't worry too much bcs i shldn't play as much anyways anymore but #my ffxiv/raider life isn't smth i want to sacrifice if possible. rn w all the time issues i'll just have to wait n see of what becomes of us #when i'm older n working ik i'll rarely have time to play games so i rlly want to enjoy what i can while i'm still young #that sounds so depressing but it's not /too/ bad when my work is my passion and love anyways :') #but there lies another problem bcs it seems like my social life is gna be even more nonexistent. hopefully not but #with being busy + anxiety it's. just hard. i can't stress enough how hard it is for me #but this is shs i wna enjoy myself as much as possible 🫠 #n then w recent/upcoming events i've been thinking a lot of various stuff #two friends back on twintania r getting married in-game on saturday >< #'thats kinda gay' i said n he said he actually might be 🤭 interesting #that made me think tho abt how damn #most females i'm close with are straight while most males i'm close w are gay #everyone else i'm either not interested in or they're most likely interested in someone else 🤕 #idm bcs love. is not. my priority. sobs. but #we may have prom this year ??? it wld be. idk cool maybe if i cld fulfill a dream of mine when i was younger #prom's the closest i can experience ig to like those ballroom kinda stuff. i rlly had a fondness for that kinda stuff around my noctis phase #i cld go w no one ig or apollo/a friend but #wwww let me be a kid this time i wna experience going to prom w someone who's 'more than just a friend' #that sounds so unrealistic but i'd like to have that experience in highschool yk T_T

[divorcetual]

when they have good art AND IDs <333

#sometimes i worry like oh no are my IDs making ppl not rb my art :( #n like id never get rid of them bcs I want my art to be accessable but I always worry #but then I see someones art w/ an ID and likd it doesnt even matter if I like it or not bcs i will instantly rb it

[munceee-old-account]

mfw im stuck in a catch-22 where the problems i need to see a therapist for are the same problems keeping me from seeing my therapist

#its all abt fucking. my hatred of making others feel bad? which sounds kinda jsut like 'oh im SUCH a GOOD PERSON' but its actually terrible #bc it makes me really fucking good at pretending everything is perfect and alright with me #bc when ppl worry abt me that's a bad emotion that *I* caused! can't let that happen #so now im stuck like 'if i tell my parents i wanna see my therapist again they'll think i'm having mental health problems' #WHICH I FUCKING AM! #but i just hate making ppl worry abt me so i keep up my lifelong mask of 'yeah im just a chill‚ happy guy' #but i know i NEED to start seeing him again i just have to #and i dont wanna use any of my friends as a temporary one to get me started bc even if that'd work i would feel BAD #i would feel GUILTY and i have NO IDEA WHY #ig because im like‚ quote-unquote 'using them' #or no bc im 'putting them through the hardships of comforting me' #idk what to do and it feels horrible.