before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.
you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"
and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.
it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.
you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.
in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.
the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.
you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.
after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.
the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.
you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.
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fuck radiosilence/radiostatic fans fucking ruin me with the extremely relatable aroace perspective in their creative works. I don’t think I would have ever predicted genuinely getting emotional over some guy with a screen face and a guy with a fucked haircut. This is so awful why are you guys some of the most talented writers I have ever seen
How am I supposed to sleep and move on with my life after reading an aroace character realize they are different and it’s not common and find themselves mourning for that connection while detesting it outright? Fucks sake just gut me instead it would hurt less than this
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What exactly is the kittypet clause?
The kittypet clause is the concept where an ex-housecat continues to use their human-given name, thus opening up warrior name options that would otherwise be unfeasible. The most notable instance of this in the books is SkyClan, the long lost fifth clan that had to rebuild itself years after disbanding-- many of their warriors were recruited through a controversial part-time system with local housecats. As a result, we have canon warriors with names like Billystorm and Snookthorn (once Snooky), who kept their old names as part of their new ones. Their human-given names don't have a meaning they'd understand, but they have meaning to them as... well, names.
This isn't universal for ex-kittypets. Firestar, the main character of the original series, came to ThunderClan as a kitten named Rusty. Instead of keeping his old identity, he was given the apprentice name of Firepaw when he joined the clan. Then on the opposite end of the scale, we have characters like Millie, who decided against being given a new name when she joined ThunderClan in the third series. She may be a part of the clans, but she stayed just Millie until her dying day.
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Ik the internet has collectively decided liking Hamilton is cringe bc ppl were writing real person fic, making founding father self inserts, and because anything that gets a big enough following must be mercilessly shunned after 6-12 months but like, I got surprise tickets to a matinee today as a bday gift and it really IS that good?
Like. I'm not USamerican. I'm not sitting here like "oh yes this is absolutely historically accurate and this is how everything went down and how these ppl were irl". Its a story. A historical adaptation. But it's a Damn Good Story. It's thematically compelling. It's emotionally resonant. It's about hunger and imagining death and ambition, about that desperation that drives you towards elusive satisfaction, about legacy and memory and the construction and telling of narratives, it's about UNEARNED GRACE and impossible forgiveness.
Like it really IS a good story, and as someone who only know these people as /characters/ and not historical figures, they're compelling characters? Their arcs are interesting? Hamilton and Burr as foils is so good? Washington as a model of leadership and of regret? Of legacy earned and unearned? ELIZA??MY EVERYTHING?? She's not a "main" character but the narrative hinges on her, when Hamilton is stripped bare of his ambition he thinks of her. She controls and saves the narrative, ultimately. It comes down to Eliza as the centre of it all, best of wives and best of women truly.
The music is a bop, the choreography fun, the set design simple but effective. Like? I get things that have a massive teen fandom can be annoying, and taking it as Historical Fact would be stupid. But as a story???? It really is that good?
Also we had an understudy as Hamilton and he was v young with such a soft higher voice and it REALLY worked esp in act 1 with the whole young scrappy hungry thing. He was also shorter than Eliza which imo. Perfect. Tiny man among a cast of largely very tall men and a few very tall women.
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Hank with an Eldritch Horror Reader
Here's another thing I wrote two years back! It was an interesting concept which I really liked, so I actually really enjoyed writing this request!
Hank J Wimbleton was a grunt of many things, but not one to be scared unless he had a good reason to be. There were many things in this world he did not understand, you were one of them. Upon meeting you, his first instinct would have been to either fight or run away - who could blame him, it was all he knew. No matter how many times you reassured him that the very last thing you wanted to do was to harm him, he’d draw his weapon, uncertain of whether or not he should believe your words.
Once you show no resistance towards him whatsoever and simply restrain him using your powers or other methods, that’s when, thrashing around as much as he could, he would start listening. You may or may not have seen a grunt up close, but this was your chance to finally examine one. As you scrutinise him from every possible angle Hank realises that you were simply curious about his being and finally lowers weapon.
Your voice would likely hurt his head and freeze the blood in his veins, so you might have to resort to telepathy or speak through a marionette, if you can find one. Though, once Hank’s interest in you has been piqued, he’d be more than happy to find you one. A lot of people in Nevada seem to be redundant in the first place. Regarding telepathy: You will be able to have a two-way conversation with Hank like that, but, for the most part, he doesn’t think in words. Still, he can do so, if needed.
If you’re on the rather small side, he will make an effort to pick you up, or hold you, and bring you back to base. Depending on whether you can float or not, this might be rather difficult, but he’ll try. If you’re large, however, then he will simply “tell” you to follow him. As an eldritch being you could likely either change your form or scare away anyone in your path in the first place, so he doesn’t particularly worry about anyone being stupid enough to attack you.
Spend time with him, he’ll get used to you more and more and, eventually, grow a bond with you. Proud, he’ll show you to Doc so he can figure out what you are, but do not be fooled. Hank wants to know what you are to some degree too. Once comfortable with you and certain you won’t harm him, he’ll start observing you, touching you to some degree. See how you react, how you feel, how you are.
Despite your conversations being, for the most part, one-sided, Hank will ask you directly what you are and if you’re some form of eldritch deity. Since you’re an amicable creature he can’t exactly wrap his head around, it’s worth a try.
Although he would like to do so to some degree, he won’t take you with him on missions. It’s his way of saying “I care a great deal about you, I don’t want you to die or worse even if you are capable of defending yourself.” If you really insist on aiding him, he will let you, begrudgingly. But beware that he will have your back. In fact, having you around will give him a greater reason to fight and improve his overall performance. Though, it will also be a major stress factor to him if something were to happen to you, so choose wisely.
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