#bagel asks

[bagelbucket]

"allergic to fruits" just say you´re a homophobe!!!11!!1!! smh

EXPLODE 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

just because I happen to have a banana and eggplant allergy doesnt mean I hate the queers

🩷 end stereotyping 🩷

#HHELPPP #my asks #bagel asks #f slur #anon asks #post ref

[the-bagelbitch]

sorry to bother you, I saw your ask on another blog about your (AMAZING) boots, and I was wondering where you got them? & I hope your holiday season is going well! :^]

Aw you’re so kind! :3 My holiday season is going excellently and I hope yours is too. The boots in question are Taft Jack boots in Eden Noir. Here’s a link to the exact ones! They have this print in other styles if you prefer other shoe types.

#bagel asks #boots #shoes #fashion

[canisalbus]

My mother saw me scrolling through Machete posts and asked me "why does the white beast always look like he dropped his bagel cream cheese side down?" and I didn't know what to tell her.

.

#dropped his bagel cream cheese side down :u #answered #anonymous #someone dm'd me and said they showed my art to their mother who doesn't understand furries and her heart melted #and a couple of hours after that I got this ask #and I'm just tickled by these sudden mom reactions #I've never shown them to my mom I don't know how I'd even begin to try to explain them to her

[gaypiratehell]

Back with my horrible angsty depressing AU where everyone on the crew but them dies and they each become the only thing the other has left

#one piece #zosan #roronoa zoro #sanji #anyways they become super codependent and obsessed with each other #and they fall in love and they're like 'yep this is probably really unhealthy in some way but idc' #'i'd die for him he'd tell me to jump a 12 stories high building i'd fucking do it no questions asked' #'he'd tell me to sell my soul to get him a bagel i'd do it don't test me bro' #they are really creepy with each other and everyone is uncomfortable the end

[todaysbird]

gaze upon him. his name is everything bagel

[ID: a photo of a pigeon. the pigeon is grayish-blue with white splotches and has a short beak. he is standing on the wooden railing of a deck. he has on a pink and mint harness with a leash coming off of it. behind him is a fenced-in yard with a boat, trailer, and part of a house visible.]

he is literally so cute. what a beast

#I love everything bagel #asks

[ovaryacted]

HI haii saw your post abt the subby leon in re2 having a mommy kink and i was thinking abt how id!leon would deny the fact that he has a mommy kink for you— he accidentally calls you ‘mommy’ throughout his orgasm😭😭😭 and when you ask abt it he just denies it or pretends like he didnt hear you nd you tease him about it and deny his orgasm till he admits he just called you mommy UHM hope ygwim - 🥯

MDNI/18+. NSFW. | wc: 1.5k words

Hey bagel anon! I didn’t even know there was a bagel emoji but welcome to the club. This idea though, yeah…you ate with this one. I also don’t how my answer got so long, but you’re one of the lucky few to get a full response out of me. I hope you like this cause I had fun writing this out. I may or may not expand on this in a full fic, but we’ll see.

ID! Leon gives me those vibes that he’ll accidentally gaslight himself and you if he lets the mommy word slip out and you ask him about it. He’s not rude when he does it, but his anxiety kicks in if he’s questioned about something he thinks you’ll reject him for.

-

You were too damn hot around him, clenching with every piston of his hips against you. He didn’t relent, gripping you with force and fucking you into the mattress. Reason left his mind a long time ago, slipping past the crevices of desire and melting away as your legs kept him caged between them.

He couldn’t think straight, groaning when his aching cock began to pulsate inside you, knowing he was about to reach his end. Your fingers pulled his hair back so you could take in his features, admiring how his eyes rolled to the back of his head and his nose scrunched up, strong forearms shaking when he struggled to keep himself upright above you.

An intense orgasm is all he needs to accidentally slip out the word Mommy, deep and guttural from his chest the moment he fills you up to the brim. Your release followed soon after, whimpering at the feel of his cum spilling into you as deep as he would go. He panted against your chest, offering you a kiss on the shoulder from the comedown.

You heard him, and he knows you heard him. But he wasn’t going to be the one to address it first, better yet he wasn’t going to address it at all. He paid it no mind, giving you light kisses on your neck and jaw before soft snores filled the bedroom, leaving the inevitable confrontation for another day.

Waking up in an empty bed, you head into the bathroom to freshen up before finding Leon in his usual place in the kitchen. He was busy drinking some coffee as he cooked breakfast, his hair still sticking up on the top of his head in a disheveled mess. His ears perked up at the sound of your footsteps, accepting your gentle kiss and going back to flipping his eggs. You let him be for a while, choosing to enjoy the silence and refusing to ruin it with questions and unwanted probing. Once you both sat down at the kitchen island, that’s when you took your chance.

“Leon…is there something you’re hiding from me?”, you started the conversation off with a question, hoping it would open up the floor for him to answer.

“No, I have nothing to hide. Besides, you’d probably know if I was”, he said with a shrug, taking a bite out of some toast and looking at you closely. If you couldn’t already tell, he was reading you, waiting for what you were going to say next.

“You called me something last night. You said Mommy and I heard you, you know I did”, your eyes challenged his, the tension in the room growing and his body stiffened ever so slightly. He tried to downplay it, but you knew it was a front.

“I didn’t say that, you misheard me sweetheart”, he throws in a term of endearment and a light chuckle to hide the truth, and from his body language, he wasn’t going to be receptive to your curiosity.

“Leon, it’s okay. I’m not j-”

“Let me refill your coffee”, he didn’t let you finish your sentence, taking your mug and walking over to the counter, fixing your drink the way you liked. You got the message after that, just to drop the topic entirely and pretend it never happened.

Only it continued to haunt you after that night. The word that fell from his lips replayed over and over in your mind, so much to the point that it was starting to give you a damn headache. He wasn’t going to admit the truth, you knew that, so you used the only tactic you thought would work. Rejection.

Folding the fresh laundry, you felt Leon press himself against you from behind, his nose rubbing against the back of your neck. You paid him no mind, refusing to give him the attention he craved, the same way you’ve been withholding that intimacy going on two weeks now.

“Are you mad at me or something?”, he asks behind you, growing antsy from the lack of reciprocation he’s been getting from you. You were still you, still did the things he loved and enjoyed. But for some reason, sex was just off the table and he didn’t know why.

“No, I’m not mad at you”, the least you could do was reassure him that there wasn’t something deliberately wrong in your relationship. Still, that wasn’t enough.

“Then why are you ignoring me? It feels like I did something to upset you”, he sounded like a child, whining from how you refused to touch him the way he wanted. You turned around and sighed, meeting his begging eyes and crossing your arms over your chest.

“Leon, you haven’t been honest with me recently, you know that”, you observed the way his eyebrow raised, silently asking you what you meant. “Mommy Leon? You should’ve just told me you had a mommy kink”

“I don’t have one…”, he mutters, still in denial and beating himself up knowing he let the damn word slip.

“Don’t lie to me”, your tone of voice was more forceful, and as much as Leon tried to think with his brain, all of the blood flowing through his body was rushing down south. You stepped closer to him, hearing his sudden intake of breath at your proximity.

“Just tell me the truth baby, that’s all you need to do”, you were toying with him, that he knew, and a part of him was conflicted in not knowing what was the best approach. For the first time, Leon couldn’t read you, couldn’t get your angle or predict any possible outcomes.

All those years of learning how to read situations proved futile when it came to you.

“I don’t…don’t know what you’re talking about…”, his voice was shaky now, his heart pounding the closer you got. You placed a hand on his firm chest, caressing him before trailing your fingers down his abdomen and towards his hips.

“You do know. Be a good boy for mommy and tell me what you want”

He didn’t know what had gotten into you, hell you didn’t either. Over the past few weeks you’ve been avoiding him and not fucking him, you’ve found yourself scrolling through porn sites in incognito mode. You called it “conducting research”, typing in mommy kink, and going through a whole rabbit hole to learn more about femdom and the works. Watching so many videos with appealing and borderline strange titles at times changed the way you thought about sex, at least with your boyfriend.

You weren’t expecting to like it so much, didn’t know that finding the idea of making him submit like that would make your panties wet. Going so long without his touch only made you want this to play out even more, so you raised the stakes. Coming closer to him, you cupped the growing bulge in his pants, rubbing over it and grinning as you felt him twitch.

“Don’t be shy baby, you can tell me. You want to play with mommy?” Leon whimpered, the sound making you wetter than before. Leon’s eyes met yours again, a faint blush on his cheeks and growing more aroused with every passing second.

“Yes…”, he mumbled his response, fighting to close his eyes but you held his chin up with the tip of your finger.

“Yes what?”, you were ordering him, reveling in the way Leon’s resolve crumbled right in front of you, accepting his defeat.

“Yes mommy. Fuck, I wanna play so bad”, he was already so pliable, bending to your will and pleading for more. You gave him a light kiss, pulling away before you could indulge him further. He grew harder under your palm, the material of his jeans rubbing into him so deliciously it made his head fuzzy.

“C’mon baby, you gotta make up for keeping your little secret from me. Mommy’s not happy”, you pulled him forward by one of his belt loops, guiding him towards the bedroom already knowing you’re both in for a fun afternoon. If Leon didn’t have heart eyes before, he certainly had them now.

“Anything for you mommy”

#leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #sub leon kennedy smut #sub leon kennedy #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy drabble #leon kennedy #leon scott kennedy #leon s kennedy #resident evil #resident evil smut #resident evil x reader #ovaryacted asks #₊˚⊹ ♡ ─ bagel anon 🥯 #ovaryacted drabbles

[haveyouheardthisband]

Is poop rock a real thing and if so do you guys have any examples of songs/bands that would qualify as poop rock

no but it should be. im gonna crowdsource this does anyone have any examples of music that could be described as Poop Rock -r

#obvious joke: mr bungle - slowly growing deaf #OH also red vox blood bagel the entire album #asks

[modmad]

now I’m imagining RGB taking those buzz feed quizzes that’s are like “what kind of bread are you?” and him getting mad because he is NOT a bagel

RGB is 100% a bagel though

#maybe because I love bagels #Hero is cinnamon roll #Assok is. also. a cinnamon roll. #Julienne is a baguette the only bread you can beat a man to death with #Melody is pan francés peruano for sure (most popular bread in peru!) #Tinker is a pretzel. don't ask me why okay just accept this. #Tailor is a chocolate croissant :3 #Dial is tricky. I think he'd be bread adjacent just to cause drama... like idk a danish pastry. or pizza. #Click is the most flavourless underbaked white bread. pre-sliced square 'is this plastic' mother fucker. you know the one. #and now im hungry so that's all folks

[vt-scribbles]

that one very relevant-to-my-interests meme

#giant/tiny #size difference #g/t #sfw g/t #sfw gt #sfw furry #I guess #stoat scribbles #Bagel Bite #I don't usually ask this but any and all reblogs are very welcome :') #I posted this on twitter and it's being actively flagged as 'sensitive content' like ALL my other art lately #Any sharing is greatly appreciated #it's the only way to expand my audience/clientele #also the only way to let more people see cute stuff like this #so #yeah

[collection-bundle]

As someone who also appreciates weird small things and organizing them, I thought you might be amused by HORG, the Holotypic Occlupanid Research Group, who for quite some time have been using citizen-assisted science to identify and classify things like bread clips and twisty strips and the like, and teach about taxonomy in a fun way. They are very straight-faced about it and extremely entertaining. I emailed them once about a neat bread clip and asked if the extra sticker stuck to it was a parasite, a symbiont, rare plumage, a tracking method (like banding birds on the leg) or some unusual adaptation. They said they'd never seen one quite like it before. They are very pretend-serious about it and it is actually a really cool and accessible way to teach, and they actively solicit information and images, and you can mail in your specimens as well. Thought you might enjoy it! I started a small bread clip collection because of it.

It's at HORG.com, if you want to poke around. You could probably identify your favorite occlupanids!

Also, HORG is just objectively a hilarious name.

Omg I've heard of this! This is totally something I'd be interested in and I might send in some bread tags myself 👀. It seems like a great way to get into taxonomy in a goofy way! I think I'll start my own bread tag/clip collection too, thanks for sharing :))

#HORG is a extremely funny name i agree #bagels posts #bagels asks

[hellsite-detective]

Is it possible to find this post, if you please? I found it from a shady back alley Pinterest dealer and simply must find the original supplier. Thank you kindly ^-^

upon seein' this post, i went down to the Search Bar to ask Google for the phrase "i've found it again" from the last address in the chain. i was handed the exact link i was lookin' for, no questions asked! a simple open and shut case, or so i thought...

well, i've got good news and i've got bad news. the good news is that i've found your post no problem! and i'll be linkin' it below! the bad news is it seems that the authorities of this city got to this post before me and confiscated part of it as contraband. i tried everythin' i could to recover this one from the ether, but it seems it's out of my hands. either way, this is somethin' right? sorry i couldn't be more of a help! have a great day!

Post Case: ...Closed?

#a similar thing happened when i found the mesperyian post for madame curator #this hellsite loves to do this stuff #bagel #bagels #everything bagel #ask #hellsite detective #post case closed

[bagelbucket]

Raccoon?

everyone shut the FUCK up and look at my son

#animals #raccoons #HI!!!! #my asks #bagel asks #mutuals #ri!

[slyandthefamilybook]

I really need non-Jews to get it together. Is "Mizrahi" a fake term and we're just Arab Jews? Or are we culture stealers who came from Europe? For my sanity, I really wish they'd finally decide.

The timeline is thus: There were two cadres of Jews. One was invented in Palestine in 18 BCE when Mary was born, the other was invented at the same time in Ancient Germany. After the Palestinian Jews killed Jesus, they all died. Then 1,915 years later, the German Jews moved to Jordan, stole all their recipes for shawarma, and then invaded Palestine (with the help of Winston Churchill himself)

#ask #anonymous #the sad truth is we'll be accused of stealing every culture we ever live in. while USians are content to accuse us of stealing Arab culture #meanwhile in Europe a bunch of Nazis are going “no they're not European either please stop trying to ethnically cleanse them to here” #the only thing we'll have left is our Bagels 😔 #the only original thing we've ever invented 😔

[knickknacksandallthat]

now all i can think about is matt asking jean if he and kevin have bumped baguettes yet and the chaos that follows

anon, the gift that keeps on giving...Matt's completely inappropriate use of french pastries:

*Jeremy, Jean, and Kevin return from hospital*

MATT: Hey, you guys are back! Great! We have a question for you.

AARON: *sliding hand over face* oh no.

DAN: *pointing finger at Matt* Matthew Donovan Boyd, don't you dare-

MATT: so, I mean, clear this up for us if you can, boys. What exactly are you doing with Kev?

JEREMY: *visibly confused* You mean...other than taking him home from the hospital?

MATT: And?

JEAN: And what?

MATT: Come on, Moreau, don't play dumb. Tell us - are you and Knox bumping baguettes together with him?

JEAN: *deadeyeing matt now* What.

AARON: Jesus fucking Christ, Boyd.

ALLISON: Shush, don't stop them - I'm recording.

MATT: Dude, I'm just saying - are you putting the tang in his tart? The cream in his eclair? The flake in his croissant? The meringue in his macaron? The pain in his au chocolat? The tutti in his frutti?

KEVIN: *brow furrowed as he turns to Jean* Are you suddenly opening a French bakery that I'm unaware of?

JEAN: *handing his coat to Jeremy and rolling up his sleeves* Boyd, in the name of Kevin's honor and justice for all of France, prepare to have your ass kicked.

Part 2 to this ask

#cue chaos and kevin's apartment going to shambles #just another fox reunion #wymack doesn't even blink when neil answers kevin's phone only to find #renee standing on top of a thoroughly pissed jean #boyd up in dan's arms like a frightened cat #kevin with his hair standing on end and face red as he stands between the two snapping something #Allison gleefully still recording on her cell phone #aaron and katelyn packing up to leave #while Andrew and Jeremy sit in the background eating bagels with strawberry cream #hell yes I'm pushing the Knox/Minyard friendship agenda #I just feel like for some reason if anyone was going to get to Andrew it'd be Jeremy #brilliant add anon #fic asks #a fallen star #my works #kevin day #jeremy knox #jean moreau #kerejean #matt boyd #aftg #all for the game #lovely people #thank you for the ask anon!

[slightlytoastedbagel]

Here just take this part 2

#project sekai #kohane azusawa #akito shinonome #bagel's rambles #this took almost 12 hours. don't ask

[elder-millennial-of-zion]

as a jew i like bagels

Source

#ask #jumblr #bagels #🥯