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ohsalome · 6 months

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What Ukrainians ate to survive Holodomor

(translated excerpts from an Історична Правда article): + images source

The villagers would dig up the holes of the polecats to find at least a handful of grain hidden by these animals. They pounded it in a mortar, added a handful of oilcake (from hemp seed), beetroot, potato peelings, and baked something from this mixture.

Those who managed to hide at least a little grain would grind it in iron mills made from wheel axles and cook "zatyrukha" (a concoction made from a small amount of flour ground from ears of grain).

Acacia flowers were boiled and eaten raw, and green quinoa was mixed with crushed corn cobs. Those who could - and this was considered lucky - added a handful of bran. This food made their feet swell and their skin crack.

The peasants dried the husked ears of corn and millet husks, pounded them, ground them with weeds, and cooked soups and baked pancakes. Such dishes were impossible to chew, the body could not digest them, so people had stomach aches. Pancakes, the so-called "matorzhenyky", were made from oilcake and nettle or plantain.

It went so far that peasants would crumble straw into small chips and pound it in a mortar together with millet and buckwheat chaff, and tree bark. All this was mixed with potato peelings, which were very poisonous, and this mixture was used to bake "bread", the consumption of which caused severe stomach diseases.

There were cases when village activists took away and broke millstones, mortars, poured water on the heat in their ovens. After all, anything found or saved from the food had to be cooked on fire, and matches could only be purchased by bartering for their own belongings or by buying them in the city, which was impossible from villagers that were on "black lists".

Chestnuts, aspen and birch bark, buds, reed roots, hawthorn and rose hips, which were the most delicious, were used as food substitutes; various berries, even poisonous ones, were picked; grass seeds were ground into flour; "honey" from sugar beets was cooked, and water brewed with cherry branches was drunk. They also ate the kernels of sunflower seeds.

Newborns had the worst of it, because their mothers had no breast milk. According to testimonies, a mother would let her child suck the drink from the top of the poppy head, and the child would fall asleep for three days.

In early spring, the villagers began to dig up old potato fields. They would bake dumplings from frozen potatoes, grind rotten potatoes in a mash and make pancakes, greasing the frying pan with wheel grease. They also baked "blyuvaly" (transl. "vomities") from such potatoes and oatmeal mixed with water, which was so called because they were very smelly.

They ate mice, rats, frogs, hedgehogs, snakes, beetles, ants, worms, i.e. things that weren't a part of food bans and had never been eaten by people before. The horror of the famine is also evidenced by the consumption of spiders, which are forbidden to kill in Ukrainian society for ritual reasons.

In some areas, slugs were boiled into a soup, and the cartilaginous meat was chopped and mixed with leaves. This prevented swelling of the body and contributed to survival. People caught tadpoles, frogs, lizards, turtles, and mollusks. They boiled them, adding a little salt if there was salt. The starving people caught cranes, storks, and herons, which have been protected in Ukraine for centuries, and their nests were never destroyed. According to folk beliefs, eating stork meat was equated with cannibalism.

The consumption of horse meat began in 1931, before the mass famine. People used to take dead horsemeat from the cemeteries at night, make jelly out of it and salt it for future use.

Dead horses were poured with carbolic acid to prevent people from taking their meat, but it hardly stopped anybody. Dead collective farm pigs were also doused with kerosene to prevent people from dismantling them for food, but this did not help either.

After long periods of starvatiom, the process of digestion is very costing for the human body, and many people who would eat anything would drop dead immediately out of exhaustion.

If a family had a cow hidden somewhere in the forest, they had a chance to survive. People living near forests could hunt/seek out berries and mushrooms, but during winter this wouldn't save them. People living near rivers could fish in secret, but it was banned and punishable by imprisonment/death.

#holodomor #ukraine #history #ukrainian history #genocide #ussr #communism

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rendezvouz-fling · 1 year

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Astro Observations #13

• Gemini/Aquarius/Libra placements might be into 70s/80s music and might be very drawn to the “Minneapolis Sound”. E.g. Prince, Sheila E, Ready for the world, Vanity/Apollonia 6, André Cymone, The Time, Dez Dickerson, etc…

• Water suns with Air placements tend to have sweet and sometime sultry singing voices that sound similar to Bunny DeBarge, Syreeta, Patrice Rushen, etc… They literally give me ‘I love every little thing about you’ by Syreeta vibes!!✨💗

• Most big famous singing families tend to have Water placements in their big 3/6!!

• People with Earth placements in their Singer persona chart tend to develop their singing styles a little more slowly than others but it also gives them more time to experiment with their voice and therefore be really great singers!!💜

• Taurus placements love cooking for their loved ones and they turn out to be really great cooks where as some Virgo placements especially Suns aren’t that great at cooking.

• Air moons with Air risings need to stop ghosting their friends because they’ll literally become addicted.🤧

• Air moons can be very much “Hollier than thou” type people without literally saying it. They just give off those vibes especially when they’re around Fire moons.✋🏽🌚

• Leo suns with Gemini moons and Leo mercuries are such big gossips!!! They’re also very bold, loud, sometimes caring and very funny people!!

• Air/Earth mixes in the big 3 are so ethereal??💗

• Let a Sagittarius moon/stellium go on about their days and don’t cling onto them and they’ll love you forever!!

• Libra Jupiters tend to have a lot of Leo Jupiter besties!💕

• Virgo moons and dropping their subject then asking the person about it again at least 100 times.💀

• Virgo moons with Water placements will literally wanna apologize all the time if they feel like they’ve upset you and that sinks my heart.🥺

• Taurus moons will literally have so much patience with their loved ones!🤎

• Taurus placements prefer gummies over chocolates.

• As impulsive as people may think Sagittarius moons are, they’ll actually let you talk and listen to what you have to say.

• A lot of rockstars tend to have Aquarius, Gemini and Sagittarius in their big 3/6! E.g. Vince Neil (Aqua sun, Gemini rising), Axl Rose (Aquarius sun/mercury/Jupiter/Mars/Saturn), Nikki Sixx (Sagittarius sun/mercury/venus), Tom Keifer (Aquarius sun, Gemini moon) etc…

• Aries/Sagittarius sun kids are those brave kids sit around telling scary stories to scare other kids lmao, they’re also the types to spread a fake rumor about having seen a ghost. Usually the ones you’d find playing Bloody Mary and Charlie Charlie in school.😭

• Virgo sun Virgo moon kids are the momma’s babies!!

• Girls with Air/Fire placements are usually daddy’s girls.

• Some Capricorn sun Pisces moon men tend to look like their mother’s twins!

• Fire suns tend to be goofballs when it’s karaoke night.😂

• Fire mars mothers lose their tempers as a hobby atp. 😭✋🏽

• Pisces suns with Pisces mercuries are such softies!🥺

• Gemini placements 🤝 bouncing their legs, standing up then walking for a few seconds and sitting back down, scratching themselves, pulling their hairs or biting their nails when nervous to the point of habitually doing it.🥲

• Capricorn suns with a Virgo stellium are so sexy?! 🥵 Donna Summer had this placement!😮‍💨

• Gemini risings and Leo risings are the type to bring food with them to a cafe and boldly eat it because ‘they paid for it’.😂

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axl-rose-lover-1987 · 8 months

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“Bandanna”

Axl Rose x reader

80s Axl

Warning smut

The guys came off stage sweaty and worn out except Axl. He was fired up he found you the minute he got backstage. He was shirtless and dripping with sweat he was wearing tight black leather pant and he was shirtless and a sparkly blue bandanna was tied around his forehead. All the guys sat down backstage and Axls hand immediately found your lower back and kept it around you at all times. “You were amazing baby” you whispered into his chest. “Thank you sugar” he said kissing the top of your head. All the guys sat around drinking smoking and discussing the show but Axl was oddly quiet. “Are you ok babe?” You whispered to him. “Yeah, yeah just can you come with me?” He asked in a low tone. You knew that tone it was his I have a mega boner and need you immediately tone. “Of course” you said standing up as Axl took your hand and lead you to the bathroom. “The bathroom Axl the guys will hear us!” You said. “And?” Axl asked sarcastically already beginning to unzip his leather pants. “Axl” you pleaded. “Nothing they haven’t heard before darlin” Axl said smirking. Axl was now only in his boxers and was beginning to take your panties off. “I’ll warm you up baby” Axl whispered in your ear. That’s when you felt his finger shoot into your pussy. Once he found your sweet spot he began to pulse it up and down and then he added another one. Little moans escaped your lips. “Shy shh babe” Axl would coo. He then pulled his fingers out and pulled off his boxers exposing his bright red hard cock. Axl then undid his bandanna “Give me your hands sugar.” You did as he said and held out your hands Axl tied them together using his bandanna

“Good girl you listen to my so good baby” Axl said praising you. He then used one hand to pin your wrists that were tied up against the wall. And he used his other one to make his dick enter you. You moaned and Axl pressed harder. “Your so damn tight y/n” Axl moaned gruffly. He then found your g-spot and got his thrusts into a rhythm. Anytime you moaned he would press your tied up wrists hard against the wall. Axls thrusts soon got faster. “Axl I’m gonna cum babe” you moaned. “Me-me too” Axl said out of breath. Axl soon pulled out and you both hit your climax. Axl then untied your wrists and you both began to get dressed when a knock came from the door. “What the hell are you two doing I need to piss” it was Slashes voice from the other side of the door. “Fuck” Axl spat quickly pulling up his pants and zipping them. “One minute” you both yelled. Axl then was going to walking out the door but he hadn’t taken the bandanna back from you so you quickly shoved it in your pocket. “Thank god” Slash said as you two walked out. You and Axl both went and sat back down and the room got very quiet and all the guys stared at you two. “Oh my come on guys” Axl said breaking the silence. That’s when Duff and Steven burst out laughing and soon Izzy did too. Then Slash came out of the bathroom. “Hey Axl where’s your bandanna?” Slash asked. “Oh um?” Axl said looking at you. You then pulled it out of your pocket and handed it to Axl. The guys started laughing. “You dirty bastard” Slash said and they all started cackling. You looked at Axl who was smiling and containing laughter. It was going to be a long night that was for sure.

#guns n roses #axl rose #fanfic #axl rose x reader #axl rose smut #gnr fanfiction

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he-goes-down · 4 months

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There Was A Time:

Previous chapters/ warnings

9. Patience:

A/n: THIS IS SO SHIT SORRY, I HAD TO DO THIS FOR PLOT AND TO GET TO THE MORE IMPORTANT CHAPTERS

Second Person POV:

You woke up with a pounding headache. You didn’t remember drinking that much last night, in fact you don’t remember a lot from last night. You rubbed your eyes trying to clear your vision and see where you are. You felt a breeze on your skin and looked down at yourself. ‘Oh shit.’ You were butt naked in a random bed. You looked to the left of you, Sebastian was sleeping next you, his hair scattered all over the pillow and his face. You were relived but wanted to scream. You just had sex with your ex. You sighed and rolled over to the other side, you first wanted to focus on getting more sleep to calm down this migraine. As you rolled to your right you were met with another face. David. He sleepily put his arm around you and pulled you closer. You were shocked beyond belief. And not to your surprise He was naked as well as the blonde on the other side of you. You vowed to never have a threesome again after your last one a few years ago but seems like you’ve been breaking a few of your vows this past year. You could tick this off your New Year’s bucket list. You tried to shimmy out of David’s embrace, as you got back to middle of the bed you sat up, and a wave of nausea came over you. You quickly rushed out of the covers and ran to the ensuite of the bedroom to throw up the little food you had last night into the toilet bowl. Sometimes you really couldn’t hold your liquor. After what seemed like hours in the bathroom you stole one of whoever’s shirt was on the ground, put it on, and climbed back into the bed to rest more.

You were soon kicked out as the owner wanted everyone out. You and the rest of the band went home but Sebastian and David walked you home and talked and giggled bout last night. You appreciated it but were too sore and sick to really be enthusiastic.

A few days had past, and your nausea hadn’t died down. You were starting to get worried. You knew Seb is the kind of guy that ‘doesn’t dig rubbers’, and to add even more fuel to the fire, you don’t even remember what David was doing there, there were endless possibilities to who the father was if that was the cased, well not endless, two maybe two point five. You had taken two pregnancy tests although, one came out positive and the other came out negative. ‘Shit’ you’d have to go to the doctors. You were too frightened to go alone, what if you were pregnant and you passed out at the news? Seb and David were out of town too and you were too scared to ask any of the guys to take you. You sat on the edge of Duff’s bed, face buried in your hands and your elbows pressed on your knees. You heard a small knock at the door, fully expecting it to be Duff. You looked up for your hands to see Axl standing by the door looking at you with guilty and concerned eyes. “Fuck off, I’m not in the mood.” You told him and went back to dreading into your palms. “I just-…” He began in an irritated tone but inhaled and sighed. “I just wanted to say sorry.” He spoke sincerely. You responded in a breathy chuckle. He couldn’t possibly serious. It was quiet. You looked up again to see him still standing there, his face showing some kind of disappointment. Shit he was serious. You started to feel bad, his shining eyes showed so much regret and sincerity. “Shit sorry…” you apologised for laughing. He had come over and sat next to you, he raised his hand to put it on your back, but he hesitated and retracted it, placing it on his own thigh. Before, you guys were so close, but now it just felt awkward even being in the same room with each other. “Ax, I really don’t feel like talking right now.” You told him. You hadn’t called him that in ages, he felt slightly glad that the bond between the two of you wasn’t completely gone. “I’m glad you came to apologize but not right now, please.” You said, your face now going back into your hands. He didn’t leave, he didn’t even consider the fact. He still sat next to you, in silence. You felt his hand touch your back, placed gently.

“You’ve been throwing up recently.” He spoke softly, not with any condescension, not trying to imply or insinuate anything. You didn’t think he would notice, or at all care. You thought Duff would be the first to say something. But again, you tried to be secretive as possible. “Yeah… probably a bug or something.” You said tiredly, getting out of your hands and crossing your arms over your stomach. “I’ll take you.” He spoke. You looked at him with slight confusion. “To the doctors. I know you said once you didn’t like going alone.” He explained. He was being sincere, and you were willing to give him that second chance. You agreed, getting ready and heading off the hospital.

Sitting in the boring waiting area, the sound of receptionists typing and soft coughs from strangers on other sides of the rooms. Your leg shook nervously as bounced your foot at an angle on the floor. Yours clutching each other in front of you and your elbows rested on your thighs. Looking around, waiting for that one call of your name. You felt a bigger warm hand ingulf your two ones. You looked up to Axl, his soft eyes giving you a comforting look. Your stomach sunk, you felt horrible. Nausea. Nauseous looking at his face. His stupidly good-looking face. The face you stupidly fell for, and feeling like you still are head over heels for him in this moment. You wanted to say so much. Why was he sorry in this moment? What triggered it? Was it because Erin and him aren’t together? Were you a rebound? You opened your mouth about to ask the first question that came to mind, but you were cut off before a word even came out. The doctor called, and you had to get up, waving a small goodbye to Axl before entering the room you were allocated to.

Some normal icebreaker questions were asked, then he got you to sit on the bed, checking your breathing and heartbeat. You told him your symptoms. Your nausea, fatigue, etc. “Is there any chance you could be pregnant?” He had popped the question without hesitation. Still listening to your breathing, the cold stethoscope placed against your back. You just nodded and spoke a blunt ‘Yes’. “Well, that’s sweet of your boyfriend to come bring you here, most guys these days just run away at the moment it’s mentioned.” The doctor spoke. You were confused. You just laughed a fake ‘yeah’ trying to keep a comfortable atmosphere. What boyfriend? ‘Shit, Axl.’ “You two make a cute couple.” He smiled at you as he finished his check-up. Soon you were sent off the bathroom, with a cup. Nervous and jittery through every second. Giving your now filled cup to a nurse and the doctor inspected you for other reasons of your symptoms whilst your pee was being inspected. Your results came back soon, even as it felt like hours. The doctor said a farewell and you walked back to the waiting room clutching onto a piece of paper they gave you. You stopped. Searching the waiting room. Axl wasn’t there. Of course, he fucking wasn’t. You thought as the same anger bubbled in your stomach. You began to walk out of the hospital with a storm, walking down the endless white hallways, but a glimpse of ginger caught your eyes. There he was, standing at the till of a gift shop, one with balloons that said get well soon, stuffed animals, chocolates, flowers. In fact, he was standing with flowers and paying for them, giving the cashier a small smile and a wave as he finished paying. Turning around to see you looking at him. Shooting you the smile that make your knees weak and your stomach queasy. “Sorry, I thought you would take longer.” He apologised and handed you the flowers, your favourites. You were silent, starring at the flowers, your heart doing small flutters. Subconsciously you knew you never stopped liking him. “So… how was it?” He asked, waiting for an answer.

“Oh, it was a bug, well more like food poisoning from the party. But he have me this, so we have to go to the pharmacy.” You said holding up the piece of paper, giving it a small wave.

You both headed to the pharmacy and got your prescribed pills, heading out again just for a late afternoon stroll. Down by the boardwalk, looking out at the sun setting over the water. You hadn’t had one of these walks in ages with him, it was something you and him always enjoyed, it was nice to having something special like this back. You had almost fully forgiven him. Thoughts raced through your mind again. The apology? Was he serious? The flowers? Was it just to make you soft? You stressed. Axl immediately caught on. “You okay?” He asked. Putting his hands on your shoulders, stopping both of you in your tracks. Leading to the empty wooden bench closest to you. Taking a breathe as you sat. There was a pause, both looking at each other. The sun making his eyes glisten. “Why…” you began, trying to collect yourself. “Why did you kiss me?” You asked him. He didn’t say anything, thinking of what to say. “And Erin?” You added. “What did it mean to you? What do I mean to you?” You emphasised the last question. His hands creeped into yours, his head hanging slightly as he looked down at your hands in his now. You were about to take your hands away from his but he held them, gently, but slightly tighter. “Fuck it.” He began. “ I love you thats why. I’ve been fucking in love with you.” “Then why go date someone else?” You retorted quickly. “ Because you always say you can’t date in the band.” He said. “Yes, but a week after? Seriously?” You responded. “I needed an out, I couldn’t stop thinking about you after our kiss, it was making me crazy.” He said.

You didn’t know what else to say. That it was stupid? That you loved him too? But even if you wanted you couldn’t be with him.

“I still want to… I still want you. I want to be with you.” He sighed out softly, squeezing your hands. “You know we can’t…” You told him. He began to talk about how he’ll wait this time. Wait until you’re ready. You knew it wouldn’t happen, but at least gave him the chance, and yourself the chance of hope of you together.

“If I can’t have you right now, I’ll wait dear.”

———

A/n: SORRY THIS WAS ABSOLUTE SHIT, THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE INCORPORATION OF

‘I sit here on the stairs 'cause I'd rather be alone’

AND

‘Said, woman, take it slow and things will be just fine’

BUT I WAS A BIT TOO LAZY WITH THIS I JUST WANT TO GET TO THE NEXT CHAPTERS SORRY GUYS

#guns n roses #axl rose #slash #duff mckagan #izzy stradlin #steven adler #axl gnr #slash gnr #duff gnr #izzy gnr #steven gnr #axl rose x reader #slash x reader #duff mckagan x reader #izzy stradlin x reader #steven adler x reader #guns n roses fanfic #gnr fanfiction #Spotify

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th0rns-n-r0ses · 4 months

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OH EM GEE IMAGINE BEING AXLS GF AND WALKING HOME WITH HIM UNDER THE POURING RAIN AFTER A LONG DAY AT THE STUDIO. YOU STOP FOR A MOMENT BECAUSE YOURE COLD AND HE GIVES YOU HIS LEATHER JACKET. HE TAKES OUT A CIGARETTE AND SMOKES IT AND THEN SHOTGUNS THE SMOKE INTO YOUR MOUTH WITH A KISS AHHH I NEED HIM

shotgun ~

axl rose ~ fluff ~ female [maybe androgynous?] reader ~ 1007 words ~

~~~~~

“Ready to go?” Axl asks as you put his jacket on him. You nod and yawn, it’s been such a long day here. From noon to 10, you’ve been at the studio with Axl and his band as they record demos and write new music for their next albums.

“Yeah, I’m ready.” You look outside and see rain falling from the clouds that overcast the sky, making the world seen gray when it would normally be black from the night sky. “Do you have an umbrella?” You look at Axl, not wanting to get wet in the rain.

“You know me, sugar, I always come prepared for the weather.” Axl chuckles and holds up his burgundy and black umbrella, showing it to you. That umbrella has some good memories behind it, as his other one got stolen on a day it was pouring outside about a year ago. The two of you had rushed into a store, with Axl all sad because it was an umbrella he’d been given by a friend he hasn’t talked to since he left Lafayette. You’d both found an identical umbrella but you knew it’d never replace the other one. Axl was grateful nonetheless and appreciated the thought.

Axl wraps an arm around your shoulders and opens the umbrella, walking outside with you. The sound of the pouring rain instantly hits the umbrella, your little shield from getting drenched. Axl uses his other hand to pull a cigarette out of his red Marlboro box, holding it up to his lips. He leans over to you a bit, indicating he’d like to borrow your lighter. You fish the lighter from your pocket and flip it open, then activate the flame. You hold the small fire to the tip of the cigarette, lighting it for him. As soon as it’s lit, he pulls away and nods as you put the lighter away.

“Thanks, baby.” Axl smiles and winds his fingers with yours, holding your hand. He makes your heart flutter, always, with all these simple and small gestures of his. Everyone thinks he’s some big badass, but deep inside, he’s a softie in need of a little love and affection. This man makes your heart flutter, and knowing you’re his lover just makes your eyes glow.

A small shiver runs down your spine from the cold of the rain surrounding you, as you, unlike Axl, wasn’t prepared for the weather today. You use your free hand to rub your arm, as the chill is causing goosebumps to rise on your skin. Axl takes notice of this and hands you the umbrella, confusion crossing your mind, until you see him slip his leather jacket off of his arms and rest it on your shoulders. A loving smile slowly spreads across your face as you hand him the umbrella back, putting your arms through the sleeves of the jacket.

“Better, love?” Axl asks as he puts an arm over your shoulder. God, you feel like you’re in the clouds right now.

“Much better. Thank you, Axl.” You lean against him and sigh, absolutely enamored with this man you’re next to.

As you walk together, you find your eyes drifting from his face to the cigarette dangling from his lips as small trails of smoke exit his mouth. You want a puff. You’ve always loved the kind of cigarettes Axl smokes, but whenever you share cigarettes, it’s like a whole new kind of bond between the two of you. Axl takes notice of you looking at his cigarette and a cheeky smirk spreads across his lips.

“You want a taste?” Axl asks, taking his arm off of your shoulders and removing the cigarette from his mouth, looking at you with shining eyes.

“Yes, Ax. I’d love a drag.” You smile at him, reaching your hand out to take the cigarette. He pulls the cigarette away from you, causing you to frown. From that look in his eyes, you know he’s thinking of something to do with this. You sigh, awaiting his idea.

Axl puts the cigarette back to his lips, the ashes growing on the cigarette as he breathes in. He moves the cig away and turns to you, looking at you with a smoke-filled mouth. He puts a finger to your lip, opening your mouth. Axl leans in close and breathes out, the smoke entering your mouth as he shotguns it to you, the small trail of smoke entering your mouth as you breathe in. Your heart races as his mouth is close to yours, your whole world right in front of you.

After you’ve breathed all the smoke into your lungs, you exhale, letting the smoke drift away in the air. You turn your face back to Axl, your lips brushing together and your cheeks flushing red. He lets out a soft chuckle and takes in another drag of the cigarette, the small crackling of the embers barely audible above the pouring rain. Axl’s eyes make contact with yours, and he then closes his eyes and his lips press against yours, transferring the smoke between the two of you in a kiss. You inhale the smoke he gives you, wrapping your arms around his shoulders limply as you two kiss. You pull away for a moment to exhale the smoke, then you press your lips back to his. One of his hands wraps around your waist as his lips press to yours. After 30 seconds of that kiss, you both pull away, smiling at each other.

Without another word, the two of you move your hands and arms away from each other, beginning to walk again. Axl slips the cigarette back into his mouth and lets his hand dangle to the side, the back of his hand lightly brushing against yours, as if he wants to hold your hand. You smile gently, moving your hand so your palms touch and your fingers wrap around the backs of each other's hands. You press on, walking home after a long day to get some much needed rest. ~~~~~

#guns n roses #80s music #80s rock #glam rock #hard rock #axl rose #axl gnr #ir0nr0se

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genlossiclegames · 4 months

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NIGHT 1

Axle begs Shrub to kill them. Shrub refuses, keeping Axle alive.

Layne starts a fire.

Mars tends to Delilah’s wounds.

Vinny, Soli, and Donnie cheerfully sing songs together.

Max receives fresh food from an unknown sponsor.

Laurel and Waddei tell stories about themselves to each other.

Sailor, Rose and Alex sleep in shifts.

Rozu fends Sunny, Loki, and Soap away from her fire.

Icarus and Mars hold hands?

Aggie looks at the night sky

NO FALLEN TRIBUTES

#genlossicle games

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jessepinkmancrystals · 3 months

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Shshsjs I wrote gnr clasic line up orgin :3

The story of Guns n’ Roses starts with guitarist Izzy Stradlin. He was living with Tracii Guns, guitarist of L.A Guns. At the time, L.A guns was in need of a new vocalist, Izzy had suggested Hollywood rose singer, Axl Rose. This is the start of forming of what is to be Guns n’ Roses in March of 1985 by Axl. The line up at this point was of (Left to right) Rob Gardner (drummer) , Izzy (guitarist), Rose (vocals), Tracii Guns (lead guitarist), and Ole Beich (bassist).

Left to right! Ole Beich ,Izzy , Tracii, and Rob!! Axls obv the 1 at the bottom xd

Tracii stated in an interview with Eddie Trunk in 2019 that Rose had gotten into an argument with their manager at the time and said the manager had fired him. It was awkward for them because they all of them lived together, that night that they fired Axl they started Guns N’ Roses. The next day Tracii called Izzy asking him if he wanted to be in it. They got the name Guns N’ Roses from combining the names L.A guns and Hollywood Rose. Some of their rejected band names that the record didnt allow were “Heads of the Amazon” and “AIDS”. After the first two band rehearsals they fired Ole Beich and replaced him with Duff Mckagan. The band’s first rehearsal her duff they recorded three songs which would be featured on future records. These songs were : Anything Goes, Think about you. These would be features on their debut album ‘Appetite for Destruction’. The third song was ‘Don’t Cry’ which would be featured on their 3rd album “Use Your Illusion I’. These songs were played on their first ever radio interview. This interview was 2 days before their first ever show on March 26th (my birthday!) 1985, this show was at the ‘Troubadour’ Club. At the time, the band was planning on releasing an EP (Extended Play) with the three tracks recorded with Mckagan and a cover of ‘HeartBreak Hotel’ by Elvis Presley. But things backfired as Tracii had a fall out with Axl. This falling out was caused by an argument between Guns n’ Roses. Due to this argument, the plans of releasing the EP disappeared. Tracii Guns was then replaced with Hollywood Rose member Slash also known as Saul Hudson. Rob Gardner, the last standing L.A guns member in Guns N’ Roses, soon quit the band. Gardner was replaced with Steven Adler who was also part of Hollywood Rose. This concluded the formation of the “Appetite for Destruction” lineup, also known as the “classic lineup”. This line up was finally set in stone on June 4th when Slash and Steven officially joined the band.

:33 Hope u read allat!! I can write smch abt gnr bro ask me a question & give me 10 minutes 2 research if i don't alrd know & liek 5 to write w/no proper grammar & punctuation tho! :3

if theres anything that doesn't make sense/isnt spelt right js tell me English isn't my 1st language!!

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ijustfndamilldllrsthatsmnefgt · 9 months

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Please enjoy a selection of pics from the Guns N Roses concert in Toronto! Axl was on FIRE!!!

#guns n roses #gnr #axl rose #slash #duff mckagan

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mycollectionmylife · 4 months

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80's Rose 🌹

#guns n roses #axl rose #slash #duff mckagan #izzy stradlin #steven adler #the 80s #gnr #hard rock #axl rose is on fire #axl rose fans #sweet axl rose #axl rose forever #the 80s icons #80's

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issie-https · 1 year

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Smut:8 and smut:14 with izzy please?🙏🙏

Summer days

Izzy Stradlin X Reader

A/n: First request! I’ve also got another one on the way which I’m excited for! As always, my requests are open so feel free to request anything🩷 With the song, it’s just what I was listening to while writing this but I feel like it works well with it🤷‍♀️

Word count: 900

Warnings: Smut, sloppy summer sex

Masterlist

༺✩༻

"Hi, guys!" I smiled as I welcomed Axl, Duff, Steven and Slash into mine and Izzy's new house. "This is nice, Y/n," Steven said. "Aww, thanks Stevie," I smiled, ushering them into the living room. "Where's Izzy?" Axl asked at the absence of his best friend. "He's changing into his swimming trunks, he'll be down so-," I got cut off by Izzy yelling, "IM HERE!" As he came down the stairs. I just rolled my eyes at my boyfriend acting like a child with his boyfriends. "I'm going to change into my bikini. I'll be right back," I whispered into Izzy's ear. He simply nodded and turned back to his conversation. "Oh, and help yourself to drinks, Izzy will show you where they are," I smiled.

I was changing into my bikini when all of a sudden, music started blasting through the house. Why have children when you can have Guns N Roses.

"I'm back! Izzy, what is in that cup?" I said, looking at the weird concoction in Izzy's cup. "I don't know, Axl made it," he replied, making eye contact with me. "Please don't murder everyone," I laughed, mixing myself a drink.

After a few minutes, Izzy and Axl decided to start the barbecue. Now, I'm nervous for this because a few things could happen. One, it could go just fine. Two, they could set something on fire. Three, they could just start arguing with each other. But for now, I will give them the benefit of a doubt.

"AXL!" I heard Izzy yell from the grill. "One sec," I smiled and rushed over to them. "What are you screaming at Axl for?" I whispered-yelled at Izzy. "The idiot isn't listening," he whined. "What do you want him to do?" I asked calmly, trying to diffuse the tension Izzy was making. "I asked him to go get the stuff from the fridge," he whined again. "Why don't you do it?" I suggested. "Because," he shrugged. "Jeffery Dean Isbell, go get it yourself," I said. "Axl, do you need anything?" I smiled. "Just a beer, please," he smiled back, handing me his empty bottle.

Once the food was finally cooked and laid out on the table, we all sat down and ate, talking about any and every topic on our minds. But for some reason, Izzy stayed fairly quiet.

"That was amazing, you two," I smiled at Izz and Axl who were now on their 8th or 9th beer. "Izz, can you help me bring the plates into the kitchen please?" I asked to which he just nodded, picking up a stack of plates.

"What's wrong?" I asked when we reached the kitchen. "It's nothing," he grumbled, turning his back to me. "Izzy," I scolded as he knew I hated when he ignored me. "Y/n, just leave it. I'll tell you when the others have left," he spat, making me shove the plates in the sink and storm out to the garden. "Y/n," he grumbled.

I spent the rest of the time in the pool with Steven and Duff, just chilling and talking about random shit until they all decided to go home, leaving me alone in the pool and Izzy alone on the sun lounger. "Y/n?" He said. "Not in the mood to talk," I blurted, tuning away from him. "Y/n please," he begged. "What? What is so important now?" I replied, turning to look at him. "Come here," he whined. "Why?" I asked. "Just come here," he grumbled. I got out of the pool, walked over to him and he pulled me onto his lap. "Oh," I said as I felt his boner underneath me. "Get it now?" He whispered in my ear, rubbing his hands up and down my thighs, getting closer to my heat each time.

I didn't reply, I just got off his lap and pulled him through the house and into our bedroom. "I'm sorry, baby," I cooed as I kissed him. "I forgive you, princess," he said as he kissed me back. We joined in a sloppy but romantic kiss as we got closer to the bed. The heat in general was high but with Izzy kissing me this way, we were both lightly sweating already. "I love you.. so... much," he said in between kisses. "Love you.. so much... mm too," I moaned as he pulled away to remove my bikini top and help me step out of my bikini bottoms.

He slid off his swimming trunks and his hard cock slapped against his stomach, leaking with pre cum. I lay back on the bed as he positioned himself between my legs. He thrust himself into me, making me moan loudly. "You're so pretty," he praised, kissing my lips again. His thrusts were sloppy but deep, hitting my g-spot every time he thrust. "Fuck, Izz," I moaned, scratching his back with my nails. "You feel so good," he rasped, reaching between our bodies to rub my clit, making me gasp at the added stimulation. "Izz, I'm c-close," I moaned. "I know, princess," he groaned, continuing the circles on my clit. "Cum for me," he moaned. I came on his cock, feeling him pulse inside me as he came, filling me up with his cum. "You're so good for me," he praised, making me blush. "I love you," I smiled. "I love you too,".

#guns n roses #izzy gnr #izzy stradlin imagine #slash gnr #axl gnr #duff gnr #gnr #steven gnr #axl rose imagine #duff mckagan imagine

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black-arcana · 2 months

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The Pretty Reckless to Support AC/DC on Upcoming European Tour

The Power Up Tour launches in May

The Pretty Reckless [Matt Bishop/The Rock Revival]

This summer, AC/DC are returning to the road for the first since 2016. The massive run is a celebration of the hard rock hitmakers’ 50th anniversary, and their first time supporting their latest album on tour. The global trek begins with a run across Europe this summer, starting at Veltins Arena in Gelsenkirchen, Germany on 17 May. The Power Up Tour will see the group performing in Spain, Austria, Belgium, France, the UK, and more. Very special guests for the run will be American rockers The Pretty Reckless.

Due to overwhelming demand, second shows were added in Seville, Spain, Dresden, Germany, and Hannover, Germany. Check out the full tour itinerary below. More dates around the world are expected to be announced very soon.

The Pretty Reckless are not strangers to the big stage, having supported Shinedown on their Revolutions Live Tour in 2022, and the Foo Fighters last year. The Pretty Reckless released their acclaimed fourth album, Death by Rock and Roll, back in 2021. The album features special guest appearances by Soundgarden’s Kim Thayil and Pearl Jam’s Matt Cameron on “Only Love Can Save Me Now,” and Rage Against The Machine’s Tom Morello on the hit single, “And So It Went.” The album peaked at No. 5 in Germany and No. 6 in the UK. It topped the UK Rock & Metal Albums chart, and scored Top 5 notches on Billboard’s Top Rock and Top Hard Rock Albums charts.

Back in January, The Pretty Reckless entered the studio to begin work on their fifth album.

Last October, AC/DC made their triumphant return to the stage after a seven year hiatus. The band performed after Judas Priest with previously retired bassist Cliff Williams and drummer Matt Laug sitting behind the kit. While they didn’t scratch any songs off this list, they did debut two tracks from their 2020 album, Power Up – “Demon Fire” and “Shot in the Dark.” The band’s seventeenth studio album, Power Up peaked at No. 1 on the Billboard 200, and topped the charts in several other countries around the world.

The rest of the set was filled with some of the band’s biggest hits, and several rare gems that haven’t seen the lights of a stage in decades.

AC/DC kicked off their set with their 1979 fan favorite, “If You Want Blood (You’ve Got It).” It was the first time the band opened with the song in 20 years. From there, they launched into their massive hit, “Back in Black.” The played “Dog Eat Dog” for the first time with frontman Brian Johnson since 1996, and “Riff Raff” for the first time with Johnson on the mic since 2009. AC/DC played both songs back in 2016 when Axl Rose of fellow Power Trip performers Guns N’ Roses was filling in for Johnson on vocals. Johnson was forced to step away from the band while dealing with hearing loss. Axl played the final 22 shows of AC/DC’s Rock or Bust Tour.

AC/DC also pulled out “Stiff Upper Lip” for the first time since 2003. Other highlights included “Shot Down in Flames,” “Thunderstruck,” “Have a Drink on Me,” “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap,” “Shoot to Thrill,” “Rock ‘n’ Roll Train,” “Highway to Hell,” “Whole Lotta Rosie,” and many more.

While bassist Cliff Williams has retired from touring, the band has confirmed that Chris Chaney (ex-Jane’s Addiction, Alanis Morissette) will be joining them on tour. Another alumnus of Alanis’s band – drummer Matt Laug – will once again be performing with AC/DC on the upcoming run of dates. Laug made his debut with AC/DC at Power Trip back in October.

“We are thrilled to finally announce the Power Up European Tour,” AC/DC said. “Angus [Young], Brian [Johnson], Stevie [Young], and Matt [Laug] will be joined by Chris Chaney to carry the torch for Cliff. The tour will see us play shows across Germany, Italy, Spain, The Netherlands, Austria, Switzerland, England, Slovakia, Belgium, France & Ireland this Summer. We can’t wait to see you all out there.”

AC/DC [Winslow Townson/Invision/AP]

AC/DC’s performance at Power Trip a few months ago saw the band take the stage with frontman Brian Johnson, lead guitarist Angus Young, rhythm guitarist Stevie Young, bassist Cliff Williams, and drummer Matt Laug. In July of 2016, Williams announced that he would be retiring after the completion of the band’s Rock or Bust World Tour. He returned to the fold, however, in 2018 to record bass on the band’s new album, Power Up.

The confirmation of Laug’s involvement with the band for the Power Trip was most likely connected to legal issues stemming from original drummer Phil Rudd’s 2014 arrest. Rudd was charged with attempting to procure the murder of two men, according to New Zealand’s Bay of Plenty Police District representative Kim Perks at the time. He was also charged with threatening to kill, possession of cannabis, and possession of methamphetamine. A day after he was arrested, one of the charges for attempting to procure a murder was dropped. In April of 2015, Rudd pleaded guilty to the remaining charges at the Tauranga District Court (New Zealand). In July of 2015, he was sentenced to eight months of home detention plus a $120,000 USD fine.

Laug is a storied rock music drummer, having done stints with Alice Cooper, Mike Campbell and the Dirty Knobs, Slash’s Snakepit, and Alanis Morissette, as previously mentioned.

At the time of his arrest, Rudd had already completed recording drums for AC/DC’s sixteenth studio album, Rock or Bust, which came out just days later on November 28. Despite Rudd playing on the record, AC/DC recruited former Shogun drummer Bob Richards to fill in for Rudd in two music videos the band shot for the album amid Rudd’s ongoing legal issues at the time. In February of 2015, AC/DC recruited former drummer Chris Slade to play with them at the 57th Annual GRAMMY® Awards. Slade was a member of AC/DC from 1989-1994 and played drums on their 1990 album The Razor’s Edge. The album hit #2 on the Billboard Top 200 and contains some of the band’s biggest hits. To date, the disc has sold over 5 million copies in the U.S. alone. Slade also appears on the band’s 1992 live effort, AC/DC Live. Slade would then join the band for their massive Rock or Bust World Tour, which began on May 5 at the Gelredome in Arnhem, Netherlands.

While best known for his stints with AC/DC, Slade has also performed with the likes of Asia, Gary Numan, Manfred Man’s Earth Band, Terra Nova, Bloodstock, David Gilmore, Uriah Heep, Gary Moore, Tom Jones, The Firm, Damage Control, and others.

In 2020, AC/DC released their seventeenth studio album, Power Up. The record peaked at No. 1 on the Billboard 200, and topped the charts in several other countries around the world. Once again, Angus and Malcolm Young’s nephew Stevie Young, who took over rhythm guitar duties for Malcolm after he stepped away from the band in 2014 due to his declining health, played on the record. Malcolm Young passed away back in 2017.

17 May – Gelsenkirchen, Germany – Veltins Arena 21 May – Gelsenkirchen, Germany – Veltins Arena 25 May – Reggio Emilia, Italy – RCF Arena 29 May – Seville, Spain – La Cartuja Stadium 1 June – Seville, Spain – La Cartuja Stadium 5 June – Amsterdam, Netherlands – Johan Cruyff Arena 9 June – Munich, Germany – Olympic Stadium 12 June – Munich, Germany – Olympic Stadium 16 June – Dresden, Germany – Messe 19 June – Dresden, Germany – Messe 23 June – Vienna, Austria – Ernst Happel Stadium 26 June – Vienna, Austria – Ernst Happel Stadium 29 June – Zurich, Switzerland – Letzigrund Stadium 3 July – London, England – Wembley Stadium 7 July – London, England – Wembley Stadium 13 July – Hockenheim, Germany – Ring 17 July – Stuttgart, Germany – Wasen 21 July – Bratislava, Slovakia – Old Airport 27 July – Nuremberg, Germany – Zeppelinfeld 31 July – Hannover, Germany – Messe 4 August – Hannover, Germany – Messe 9 August – Dessel, Belgium – Festivalpark Stenehei 13 August – Paris, France – Hippodrome Paris Longchamp 17 August – Dublin, Ireland – Croke Park

#the pretty reckless #ac/dc

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arashi-no-saxlphone · 6 months

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Sometimes I wonder how people I've been mutuals with since I joined this site but haven't spoken to in years think about the Axl Low shift. Like people I went to High School with logged on one day and were like "Who the fuck is thi- oh I see. Wow." One day I became so obssessed with Guilty Gear/Axl Low and just decided "This is my whole deal now I do not play Fire Emblem or know who Marth is sorry, I only know Anglofied Axl Rose"

#sairambles #guilty gear #ggst #axl low #I still play FE Heroes but I don't really have the patience for mainline FE anymore haha #Not because it's bad just because I'm like “I don't really wanna think or strategize anymore”#I play FE3 still sometimes I love that game

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 1 year

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Is It Really That Bad?

Come. Gather round and listen to the legend of the Funny Vampire Director, AKA the Funny Nazi Director, AKA Taika Waititi.

Raised in the way of the director, Waititi was taught to make good movies, delivering the sort of funny and heartfelt films most can only dream of making. He directed, and he wrote, and he acted. He was sensitive, like a smile. And his love of filmmaking did not discriminate in what he could make. He once made a hilarious vampire mockumenatry that got a spin-off TV series. Another time, he proved that you could make Blazing Saddles in the modern day, except with Nazis!

But Waititi's greatest achievement was cameoing in The Suicide Sqaud. Oh, wait. No. It was making a good Thor movie, of all things. But sadly, in making a good Thor movie, he set himself up for failure with the sequel. In fact, he set himself up for spectacular failure. Mediocre reviews. Audience backlash. Criticism from the actors and directors. And bad reviews from all sorts of internet guys, again and again and again. And again.

Poor Waititi had to watch the internet’s respect for him explode. And then he said, 'What have I done?' It seemed that everything he’d worked for with Thor, he lost. And so he maybe got fired by Marvel and went back to making real movies for a change. But just because he was done with Marvel, didn't mean he was done with superheroes. He teamed up with James Gunn and set off to deliver the most powerful and thematic line in The Suicide Squad. He got in shape, putting in the hard yards to become a respected filmmaker again. Taking pains into gains and never skipping the chance to direct a movie based on Tower of Terror. He put in the work to go from the butt of jokes to a guy who would hopefully deserve an Oscar win.

But with all that being said, there was still a confused reviewer just trying to figure out if maybe the backlash to Thor: Love and Thunder was a bit overblown. Because really, this movie couldn’t possibly be as shitty as The Dark World, which committed the sin of wasting Christopher Eccleston. So he sat down and gave the movie a rewatch, accepting he was only good for one thing... Determining that age old question, 'Is Thor: Love and Thunder really that bad?'

THE GOOD

So maybe this is a hot take, but I really did enjoy Jane’s return and her romance with Thor and find it to be one of the film’s best aspects.

Now, don’t get me wrong, a lot of the writing here is clunky and poor Natalie Portman is saddled with a lot of really stupid dialogue now that she’s the Mighty Thor. But seeing her and Chris Hemsworth act off each other again in a less dull and restrictive fashion is so nice, and seeing Portman kick ass is a lot of fun too. She even wields Mjolnir in some pretty creative ways here! And her death is actually a genuinely powerful and touching scene that they don’t immediately fuck up with a lame joke.

The soundtrack, while not even close to touching the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtracks, is filled with Guns N’ Roses banger after banger. I grew up listening to these guys, so honestly I’m predisposed to like any scene where they play one of my favorite tracks by them.”Sweet Child O’ Mine,” “November Rain,” “Paradise City,” and “Welcome to the Jungle” are all whipped out at just the right time to keep my attention from flagging completely, so I’ll give them props for that. They aren’t the most inspired choices, but I’m a sucker for classic Axl.

The Axl above? Decidedly less so. Still, despite this film’s reputation for really bad effects and really bad costumes and just in general looking embarrassingly cheap because Disney abuses the animators, there are some extremely cool visuals here and there. The shot of Falligar the Behemoth in particular is so good they slapped it into every trailer, and a climactic battle on a monochrome planet looks way too good to be in this movie. But by far the most fantastic thing is the comic-accurate depiction of Eternity.

And of course, I would be remiss to not praise Christian Bale’s performance as Gorr the God Butcher. The man immediately has you hooked with the opening scene, which details his backstory and shows how he began his vendetta against all the deities of the Marvel universe. Then we have his fantastic climactic confrontation with Thor on the black-and-white planet, and then there is his final scene before Eternity. Each and every time he shows up, it’s completely clear that Bale is giving it his all and acting his pussy off, giving a performance that is honestly kind of astounding considering what’s going on around him.

THE BAD

Unfortunately, while Gorr is a fantastic performance, he suffers from the fact his character has absolutely no cohesion and is barely in the film. He shows up for maybe one big fight in the first hour, then completely disappears from the film until the third act, during which time he just sits around with a bunch of children and terrifies them. And despite being “The God Butcher,” we see him butcher precisely one single god in the whole film, and that’s in the film’s opening. Groot has as many onscreen god kills as Gorr. That’s fucking pathetic. Bale’s magnificent performance is strong when it counts, but so much of the dramatic moments feel unearned because he hardly does anything outside those moments. The fact they cut out so much material including him meeting with Peter Dinklage’s King Eitri and Jeff Goldblum’s Grandmaster, really stings. Would it have been a crime to cut out those annoying fucking goats and instead give Gorr more to do like, oh, butchering gods?

It doesn’t help that the story never actually refutes any of Gorr’s points. Every other god we see in the film is egotistical, hedonistic, a coward, or all three at once, with even Thor reverting into a corny blowhard for much of the movie. Zeus is pretty much emblematic of this problem; while I actually did enjoy Russell Crowe’s performance (even if it is, ultimately, a half-baked attempt at recapturing the magic of Grandmaster from Ragnarok), the fact that Zeus is nothing more than a blowhard more concerned with orgies and showing off to all the other gathered deities just kind of proves Gorr right. The gods don’t care, they are refusing to help their followers, and frankly the universe would probably be a lot better if it was littered with Knowheres instead of having these horny clowns prancing about.

Then we have the Guardians. The glorified cameo from the Guardians of the Galaxy that was hyped up in all the marketing. Despite being in the movie for maybe ten minutes and despite Star-Lord having 95% of all the lines between them, nearly every single one of them feels completely out of character. Star-Lord, on the other hand, actually feels like he was rerailed in time for Gunn to take the reigns back, but it doesn’t make up for how awkward and pointless it all feels. Although it is incredibly hilarious that after all of them spent Infinity War fawning over him they all now seem to barely tolerate him, with it being confirmed none of them kept in contact with him after the events of this film. I honestly don’t blame them.

A lot of returning characters really suffer. King Valkyrie gets it pretty bad since her subplot where she searches for love was dropped, leading to her feeling really superfluous in the plot. Lady Sif gets it even worse, with her barely even being in this movie; one has to wonder why they even bothered keeping her alive. Thor gets hit especially bad here, because he seems to have reverted from his post-Ragnarok characterization all the way to pre-Thor characterization, with all his hedonism, goofing, gallavanting, insecurity, and egotistical traits ramped up to maximum levels.

But the most divisive returning character of all is Korg. Korg became a fan-favorite due to his appearances in Ragnarok and Endgame, where he was genuinely a funny comic relief character who juxtaposed his intimidating rock golem design with a friendly demeanor and the chipper voice of director Taika Waititi. The thing is, both of those films used him sparingly, so that when he got a lame joke it wasn’t so bad because it’s one up against dozens of good ones. Here though he gets to be a main character and even the narrator, and boy does he get old pretty quickly. The thing is, though, that even if he’s not particularly funny here… I still like Korg. He’s just too damn charming, As lame as his jokes are, as lame as his fake out death is, as pointless as he ends up feeling to the plot, I just can’t hate the guy. I guess it helps that he gets to be Disney’s 52nd First Gay Character, but actually for real this time because in the end he gets to make a baby with a rock guy named Dwayne. I also really like the theory that the reason the whole film is corny is because Korg is narrating it, and he’s an unreliable narrator peppering the story with lame jokes and underplaying elements that should matter. Does it save the whole movie? No. Does it make Korg any funnier? Also no. Does it add an interesting layer that at least keeps me from wanting Korg dead? Yes, yes it does.

And really, every single problem here is something that was there in Thor: Ragnarok. Zany comedy? A terrifying, threatening villain with a murderous vendetta who gets weirdly underplayed and barely interacts with the heroes? A villainous character played entirely for jokes? Jokes that completely and utterly destroy the tension of any given scene? The big difference is that in Ragnarok, at least some of the jokes were funny, and Thor had more interesting characters to bounce off of. And maybe most importantly, that film knew when to dial back the comedy to let cool or emotional moments breathe. And maybe even more importantly than that, it knew to keep Korg to a minimum. This film doesn’t do that at all, with nonstop gags undercutting nearly every dramatic moment. It’s ultimately hard to give a shit about anything going on when the characters give so little of a shit about it that they’re cracking jokes.

And let me tell you, if you couldn’t already tell, the jokes are fucking bad. This is basically what would happen if you asked Seltzer & Friedberg to make Marvel Movie. This is the epitome of all those jokes about Marvel dialogue having the characters go “Well that just happened!” to the point where I’m shocked it’s not actual dialogue. The horrendously unfunny screaming goat meme is a pivotal plot point in this movie; that’s the quality of jokes we’re dealing with here. And while there are a few decent jokes here and there, there’s just too many fucking jokes to pay them any mind.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Somehow this is one of the most overhated and yet rightfully disliked films ever made.

Like, Schafrillas was right to call this the Shrek the Third of Thor films. It’s not funny, it derails beloved characters, it’s incredibly annoying, it wastes a good villain, and the writing is just so hackneyed and ridiculous. This is absolutely not a good film at all. But the way you hear some people talk about it you’d think this film killed their grandma.

Like I know bad comedies are some of the worst kinds of films out there, and this film is definitely horrendously unfunny at every opportunity, but it has just enough good ideas and just enough strategic deployment of Guns N’ Roses songs that it just barely manages to be passable in my eyes. I definitely think this is a mediocre movie, and it is emblematic of everything a bad Marvel movie can be. But at the same time, it manages to be unfunny in ways I didn’t think were possible from a director and cast this talented. I’ll be honest, on my second watch through of the movie I was more bored than infuriated with this film. It has its moments, but it’s absolutely one of the weakest efforts Marvel has ever put out.

This film is pretty much what critics once accused Batman & Robin of being: An overindulgent, campy, unfunny smear on a cool hero. As you well know by now, I don’t agree with them on that, but it’s a somewhat fitting descriptor for Love & Thunder. I don’t think it’s a smear on Thor, who has been way too inconsistent for me to get mad about him being taken in some wild direction, but overindulgent, campy, and unfunny are pretty apt. Still, I don’t think this is nearly as bad as a lot of people say. It’s not bad in a “crime against humanity” way, at worst it’s bad in a “I know the people making this are capable of better and I kinda feel like this is the fault of studio executives at Disney” kind of way. If you like it, sure, that’s valid! I don’t think there is no value in this film at all, especially compared to some stuff I’ve reviewed for Is It Really That Bad. But if I never have to see this movie again, I won’t exactly lose sleep over it, and I’m sure many people feel the same.

Still, I’d have to have a heart of stone to not find the ending, which features Thor and his adopted daughter (played by Hemsworth’s own daughter) becoming a cute little superhero team and getting a corny title drop right before the credits, really sweet. Yeah, it’s not a good movie, but at least it’s better than the first two Thor movies or the unseasoned oatmeal that is Eternals.

#Is it really that bad #IIRTB #Thor #Thor: Love and Thunder #Taika Waititi #Chris Hemsworth #Natalie Portman #Christian Bale #Marvel #Disney #MCU

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he-goes-down · 7 months

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There Was A Time:

Past chapters/warnings

2. Right Next Door To Hell:

“Y/N?”

-------

Second person POV:

“Y/N? What are you doing here?”

You looked up to see Duff, standing in the pouring rain, with a quizzical look on his face. He didn’t make fun of you for crying, he didn’t mock you, he was just worried and confused. What were you to tell him, ‘Oh I was walking to my hotel then realised it doesn’t exist, or better yet it doesn’t exist yet.’ You contemplated on what to say. “The hotel,” you paused. “Cancelled on me. Gave my room to some rich bloke.” You lied, without looking up at him. Soon you felt that the rain stopped but you still heard it, but you looked up to see Duff holding his trench coat over you. “Come on, you can stay with us for the night.” He said, as he held a hand out for you to grab. “Are you sure? What about the others?” You asked, this was like a dream come true, but you didn’t want to be a nuisance. ‘Never mind, fuck that it’s cold.’ You told yourself and took Duffs warm hand. You both hid under his trench coat from the rain, as you walked to where they stayed. “I think I have to say sorry, this is probably worse than staying in the rain.” Duff laughed lightly trying to lighten the mood. “We call it the Hell House, and not just because Axl lives in it. Everything that can happen, happens there. So just be warned.” He spoke. As the two of you approached the place, you could already hear everything that was going on inside. Yelling, shouting, music blaring, even someone snoring. It was small and run down, the porch had wood rot and a spot that looked like it was set on fire, one of the windows had small holes in it, and the other one was brown form was presumed as too much smoking. You stepped up onto the porch, Duff was in front of you holding the doorknob and twisting it. He jiggled it and turned it in all kinds of ways until it finally opened.

Slash was sleeping on the couch, that explained the loud snoring. Izzy and Axl were yelling, over a bucket, on which leaking hole in the roof should they put it under. Steven was just sitting on the floor in front of a small box TV minding his business. They were all in little worlds of their own and didn’t even notice the two of you come in. “The bathroom is all the way down there, on the left. Go shower and get into dry clothes.” Duff said with a smile, “Oh and if the hot water doesn’t work just turn on the cold water by the sink.” “Thank You.” You smiled back as you nodded your head. You walked past the two pasty men bickering with your bags, and Izzy noticed. “Oh wait! And don’t dry your face with the green towel. Maybe just don’t use any of them.” Duff warned. Suddenly all of them, except sleeping beauty, looked at you and then Duff with a confused look. You rushed to the bathroom before they could ask anything, and Duff to answer their questions. You went down the corridor of rooms, every time you looked at any part of the walls you saw a hole, possibly from a punch, they all looked around the same size. You pasted one the doors that was split in half, and just the bottom half stayed on the hinges, The whole room was filled with punch in holes. Axl’s room was probably the best guess. You got to the bathroom and closed the door. ‘Of course, it doesn’t lock’. You put your bags by the door to block it, you hoped none of them was that stupid to open the door but better safe than sorry. The shower curtain had little specks of mould on the edges, more on the ceiling, a crack in the bath, a crack in the wall, as well as the mirror, the lid for the cistern of the toilet was nowhere to be seen and not even a bodybuilder could open the window without breaking a few fingers. Not to mention the window wasn’t even frosted or could be covered in anyway. You slid off your wet clothes and hung them over the curtain rail before hoping in the shower.

The shower wasn’t bad, although you did have to turn the tap on, and Slash rushed you so he could pee. You dash into the room right across from the bathroom, as you had a towel wrapped around your body, and closed the door. At least this door could lock. ‘Shit my clothes!’ You panicked. You could go back to get it, but you really didn’t want Slash to see you in just a towel again. You could already hear his giggle just thinking about it. You just dried yourself more thoroughly to bide the time for him to leave the bathroom, your hair was still wet, but you weren’t letting that unholy towel have a chance at ruining it. Maybe a shirt could dry it faster. You looked around the room, still not getting an idea of who’s it is, searching for a shirt. You picked a Ramones shirt of the ground and sniffed it; you then gagged and instantly dropped it. It was potent. The towel that you had on was now damp and cold, so you didn’t stop looking for a big shirt to wear, big enough to cover a bit of your thighs, since you also forgot your underwear in the bathroom. You finally found one that didn’t smell like every bodily fluid rotted through the seams. It was dark grey with red writing printed but it had peeled off, so you didn’t know what it said. It was quite big and nearly went down to your knees, ‘Probably Duffs’ you thought as he was the tallest one out of the band and it would look big on anyone. As if on cue Duff opened the door, looks like no door in this house really locks. He stood there not saying a word until he snapped back a few seconds later, “Shit! Fuck! Sorry I didn’t know you were in here, the bathroom was occupied.” He apologised and tried to avert his eyes. “Um… is that my shirt?” he coughed. “Yeah, my bad. My clothes are stuck with Slash in the bathroom. I’ll give it back to you I promise, I just need to-.” “It’s fine, keep it. It looks good on you.” He said with a smile, as he began to where you were. “You didn’t try on the ones on the floor, did you?” “How are those things so filthy!?” You yelled. “I use those to clean up everything.” He chuckled at your response and explained that they didn’t have enough to get fancy drying cloths or things like that.

Sooner than later Slash finished pissing (he fell asleep, and Duff banged on the door to wake him up.) You finally got your clothes, dressing into your long pyjama pants and the new shirt you acquired. The rest of the guys didn’t seem too bothered with you staying over, they enjoyed your company and grateful that you could easily sort out Izzy and Axl’s feuds. The rest of the night you watched TV with Duff and Steven. Izzy didn’t say much to you before going to bed and it was only really him talking to the group while you were there. Axl and you had a good chat over musicians you two like and slipped in a flirty line every now and again. Slash was falling asleep every few seconds, so you and Steven helped him to his bed. “I think I’m gonna go sleep.” Steven yawned, “Night.” He yawned again as walked off. “Night.” Duff waved. You were curled asleep on the couch with your head on the arm rest and your feet next to Duff thigh. He looked down at you sleep with a small smile on his face, it was just one day but he already felt that you two had a strong bond. He watched a few more minutes of a mindless show before switching it off and yawning. You had already discussed that you would be sleeping on the couch, Duff didn’t think that it was a good idea, it was dangerous around this area, and he didn’t want anyone coming in and possibly kidnapping or anything. He stood up from the couch before glancing at you again, you shivered in your sleep. It was still cold seeing as it was still winter, raining, and there wasn’t any proper heating in the ‘Hell House’. Duff sighed, he picked you up effortlessly, regardless of what you said about the couch. He then walked to his room with you in his arms and lied you down in the bed before tucking you in and throwing over another blanket just encase.

“Goodnight doll.” He whispered as he closed the door and went back to the couch to sleep.

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