#at the end of the day just read the manga and block out every problematic shit if you want to still be sane | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mrskurono · 3 years

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Hey Sunny, it's Ivy here. I kinda freak out when i heard about the girl that's messing around with the writers who are here to share their amazing passion and creative writings. I am so sorry, genuinely sorry that some of you have to go through this. You guys don't deserve it, especially when you guys had already stated that "minors do not interact" and "18+ only" on your blog. Pretty sure almost all of the nsfw writers stated warning beforehand and even tell people to block them if they found no comfort from your blog.

I'm sure they already know that Tumblr, is a writing app that contain lots of contents, be it sfw or nsfw. If so, they should have just ignore any blog that contain contents that are not in the line of their likings. Sending threats? Minors sending threats to someone older than them? That definitely is pissing me off. I rarely get pissed off about internet thingy but this has crossed the line.

As someone who once experienced getting bullied on the internet, I understand how it feels to receive such harsh words from someone that's definitely do not know that words could harm others. Worse, it can end someone's life as well. This issue somehow trigger a dull past I had back when I was still in Wattpad's community. So, if the person somehow see this, I hope you quit your action and stop embarrassing yourself. Block the tags or the account with contents that you do not wish to read or see.

To that person, Tumblr is like a safe space for me, pretty sure most of you too. So, please do not ruin someone's safe place. If you truly dislike here, you are welcome to leave this platform and find other platform. Do not ever play the victim card if you're the one who begin the mess.

Sorry for stressing out more on this topic but I just wish that person would understand. Please continue doing your great works! Just a pre caution, I noticed that they have more than one account, more like a backup. Just in case they decide to mess around again.

Hope you have a nice day or night! Love you <3

Actually it’s part of the reason I’ve put a lot of my thirsts under asks and tagged content a little more heavier (but also including the banners bc I just think they’re pretty and I’m trying to be “that pretty blog” even though its just a jug fuck XD)

What’s going on is unfortunate but honestly speaking I haven’t been affected by it. I must have impulse blocked enough people when I get stupid asks (like “is this non con or dub con im too stupid to read the tags but I read all the works and now it might be problematic :/” kind of stupid) and just blocked enough people’s blogs I didn’t vibe with that I haven’t gotten anything. Not that it would sincerely matter like I said I’m heavy handed with the block button as it is. But to everyone else who’s gotten things can I pls pls pls beg you just don’t respond. Don’t engage. Don’t even breath in their direction. It’s what they want and frankly its gross and shows that they are children on a clearly 17+ app. You ignore dogs when they have poor behavior pls ignore this as well.

The bullying is out of line and just so assine (as some of my mutuals have told me as victims themselves this “group” then proceeded with death threats on a literal abuse survivors so clearly their intent isn’t helping, its attention) If you guys need anything I’m here. The momma nickname isn’t a joke I’ll mom the crap outta all of you and give you all the forehead smooches bc I love you all and no one deserves it.

This won’t end and like I said this is coinciding with spring break (kids are unsupervised) and something else will surely pop up when summer comes around too. They are children and should be treated as so by removing them from spaces they aren’t aloud in and not engaging in toxic behaviors. Pls block everything you guys and give them no fuel.

Write fucking smut and every pervasion in the book bc none of you are wrong for it and no one is a monster for liking a fucking manga about fictional people who are, literally the same age I am (woot ‘95 babies with Tanaka and Noya) so last time I check I was almost 26 and well into my late twenties.

This blog will always be a safe space for you guys worry not and I’ll keep the discourse down to minimum <3

I mean unless it’s a real dumb anon like, and I have a good come back, then I’m totally gossiping with you guys like we’re making ramen around a water cooler in the office <3

#this is no joke and it affects peoples real lives #pls come get some momma cuddles if you guys need it #im 5'8 and stocky for a reason Im the perfect snuggle cushion and yall can get momma kisses #ilysm #three.talks #tw: discourse

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ouranor · 4 years

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I saw your latest hanyo no yashahime post because I followed the tag and I have to say as a victim of grooming myself, I would rather be aggressive towards the adult Sessrin shippers,I do think some of them have pedophillic tendency’s, I know you hate that word being thrown around but how else would you describe people enjoying seeing sexualized fanart/actual porn of child Rin and sesshomaru. And a ship is just a ship yes but when large amounts of people try to normalize grooming I draw the line

Dear Nonny

First of all: I’m so sorry that you had to go through such a horrible experience and thank you for sharing this so openly. I’ll do my best to explain my point of view about the current chaos and how to navigate it as best as I can. In order for me not to repeat myself too often, I‘ll assume that people reading this will also have read my previous post that prompted Nonny to message me.

About the ship itself:

As far as the ending of the manga goes, Rin and Sesshoumaru are blank slates, leaving lots of room for interpretation. What is true for both characters is that neither of them have any romance set up, because neither Rin nor Sesshoumaru are anywhere near ready for any kind of romantic relationship (no matter with who) at that point in time. Rin because she’s a child and Sesshoumaru because he’s an emotionally stunted and immature mess of a man (which is why I find the sequel‘s premise incredibly unbelievable. There‘s no way Sesshoumaru was ready to have half-demon children and this is a flat-out character assassination for Sesshoumaru but I DIGRESS). In the manga, not a single trace of romance can be found, and thus not a single trace of grooming. Giving a growing child a new kimono is not grooming, it‘s common sense.

Now, most people that oppose SessRin do immediately jump to pedophilia and grooming for multiple reasons and, while I don’t ship SessRin, reducing the ship to assumptions like these is not an okay thing to do. I firmly stand by this statement and I’ll do my best to explain why.

Now, because this will be important to understand the thoughts I‘m conveying, please remember these key points:

1) Explaining does NOT equal excusing. I will never make excuses for people that romanticize children in romantic relationships. All I‘m doing is do my best to cut through the very emotionally charged and hardened fronts in this ship-war.

2) We NEED to separate the ship from its shippers. SessRin is an extremely difficult ship to write that needs to be treated with much more care and awareness than most other hetero-ships, but because people abuse Rin as their Mary-Sue and don‘t give the characters actual care and love, you end up with terrible fanfiction that depicts SessRin as „a given / destined / Rin‘s the closest vagina in the near vicinity“. And yet: Sesshoumaru grooming Rin is not the ONLY possible continuation of this ship. I‘ll get back to this in a bit.

3) Grooming is a choice, pedophilia is a mental disorder. While the two overlap at times, they are NOT the same. I’ll broach this issue near the end of this post.

Now, to get the worst out of the way, I’ll agree to this: The interpretation coming from the loudest and most aggressive shippers (Celestia on Twitter is an excellent example) is highly problematic and, as mentioned, shows a lack of comprehension regarding subtility and a lack of emotional intelligence. They‘re very black and white and they romanticize the characters as they were left in the manga, saying (among other things) how Rin is Sesshoumaru’s soulmate and understands him like no other, in spite of being a child, and THAT raises all kinds of alarm bells. Because this is exactly the rhetoric used by predators towards impressionable children. People claiming that this isn’t the case are being willfully ignorant and I usually don’t tolerate such people and use the block button generously.

But this is the WORST manifestation of this ship. Notice how I say the worst, not the ONLY.

Unfortunately, this worst interpretation usually comes from the laziest and most aggressive shippers that simply lack the creativity to imagine anything else. I’ve read many a SessRin fanfiction that built this relationship up in a believable way, taking its time and addressing the potential pitfalls, unfortunately this type of dedication or writing talent is not easily found in a fandom as vast and trope-y as Inuyasha. But I‘ve also read a ton of fanfiction where SessRin is a „logical conclusion“ because the author is actually writing an InuKag fic and has no idea what else to do with Sesshoumaru and Rin, hence: Another pairing to make babies with, yaaaay. SessRin happens by proxy, which is a huge NO-NO. This echoes one of my mantras: In order for Sesshoumaru to even get into a romantic relationship (NO MATTER WITH WHO), there is an entire story and development that needs to be told first. The same goes for Rin because again, by the end of the manga, she‘s not much of a character at all. “Why do you even read SessRin if you don’t ship it??” I hear you ask (not you, Nonny, I mean this and the following in a general sense). Because I keep saying that every ship has its merit and I’m interested in the stories that can be told. I keep saying that all ships are legitimate and I don’t want to miss out on any potentially amazing stories, especially because those were seriously hard to come by back in the day (anyone remember the 2000’s? Anyone?). I’ve read fanfiction from literally every Inuyasha ship under the sun. So if I see the tell-tales of a bad SessRin fic, I leave the author and their world behind and move on to something else. I’ll use this short interlude to say this: It has become such a horrible trend in fandom to put the sole responsibility of one’s fanfiction-experience on the author instead of taking responsibility for the content one might consume. There’s an incredible lack of self-sufficiency, a lack of ability to just move away when people read something they don’t want to read without taking personal offense. Now, I’m not saying that you have to be like me, but at least take responsibility for your own experience. ANYWAY, back to the topic at hand.

So again: In order for Rin or Sesshoumaru to get together romantically at any point in the future, a LOT needs to happen first. A lot of development, a lot of questioning, a LOT of build-up, because this relationship needs a heck of a lot more explanation than most other hetero-ships out there, but most fanfic writers and shippers are too lazy to set this up properly, leading to problematic romanticization, sugarcoating and hand-waving away of serious subjects that need to be addressed. Most of these types of SessRin shippers I see are found on Twitter and Tumblr (many are Spanish, too, wth is up with that), as mentioned, and they are are extremely questionable, seeing no issue at all with this ship, and here’s my opinion on why that is: Given from what I’ve seen, these types of shippers equal Rin with themselves. If you read how they justify this ship, it has nothing to do with her being a child, and everything to do with the blank slate that she is (like Bella Swan in Twilight). Rin has endless potential and it’s much easier to project ones own fantasy on a character that has yet to BECOME an actual character you can write a love story WITH. Of course, shippers don‘t realize this, because projection is usually done on an unconscious level. But to someone who’s been observing in this fandom and lurking for years, this seems incredibly obvious. Neither Rin nor Sesshoumaru have any agency, because they’re fictional, and that’s why SessRin is such a ticking bomb, always has been. They can be turned into whatever you want.

Now, that’s of course what fandom is for: Fulfillment of fantasies and works depicting any dynamic from fluffy to dark. But here’s the second main problem: Because SessRin is usually depicted as your typical, trope-riddled “male is alpha, woman is beta at best” romance, it falls right into heteronormative standards. Heterosexual relationships are TEEMING with extremely lazy writing (and normalized abuse, but that’s a subject for another time) and for some reason, I’ve observed how hetero ships have this insane entitlement to “purity”. What I mean by that is that hetero-ships are much more likely to attract fans that need their ship to be canon, otherwise they can’t function. This is EXACTLY what happens with SessRin. If you just had SessRin shippers doing their thing, I don’t think we’d be in this situation. But because of the sequel and its excellent marketing strategy, SessRin shippers are full of hope and, worst of all, grasping at straws and lording their ship’s superiority over everyone else with renewed fervor. If Takahashi/Sunrise weren’t such absolute cunts (pardon the language), we’d not be in this situation. Because SessRin is now a “possibility” in the sequel, people suddenly see the fulfillment of their own personal fantasies within reach. Let me repeat: This is about the fulfillment of their OWN PERSONAL fantasy and has nothing to do with Rin. She just happens to be the female character that’s closest to Sesshoumaru. The fact that she’s a child does not factor in this particular scenario, even though it SHOULD.

So again: The ship is fine on its own, because it’s literally a blank slate that you can go in ANY direction with. It’s the people that desperately grasp for canon and have decided that SessRin is a foregone conclusion WITHOUT any build-up or explanation that are the true problem. They look to the sequel and their own interpretations to justify their lazy and problematic interpretation of the ship. They make the ship into the potential grooming/pedophilia shitstorm that many “antis” are caught up in, but that’s not the ships fault.

Speaking of which, let’s talk about the grooming and possible pedophilia.

I’d ask people, after reading all of the above, to remember this: If there is any grooming at all, it has yet to happen, because NOTHING has happened between Sesshoumaru and Rin after the manga. Hell, they didn‘t even speak to each other in the charity chapter. They are still the same blank slates now that they were back then. Whether or not grooming happens is in the hands of any creator that decides to take their dynamic further.

As for pedophilic tendencies: I will not deny that there are traces of that in SessRin shipping (some prominent people also ship Zabuza/Haku from Naruto which is telling), but I swear to you that 99% of SessRin fanfictions I’ve read do NOT depict Sesshoumaru with a child Rin (except for 1-2 dark fics that portrayed the dangers of a relationship with such a power imbalance, which are extremely important works as well imo). Same goes for the art. This again because Rin is not treated as a proper character, but as a vessel for wish fulfillment.

I have said many negative things about the shippers that are triggering the entire fandom at the moment, but people that oppose this ship need to be honest with themselves and acknowledge that them jumping to the conclusion of “SessRin ALWAYS equals grooming and pedophilia” also lack creativity and the ability to differentiate between different paths and outcomes. Accusing others of pedophilia is inappropriate and uncalled for, not matter how upset you are. I too have had to learn and accept that pedophilia is a mental disorder and needs a proper diagnosis and treatment. What happens because of a mental disorder should never be excused, no matter if it’s depression, bi-polar disorder or pedophilia, but what we can hopefully all agree on is that mental disorders are not something you choose.

So the only thing I can say to you, Nonny, is this: If you see something that looks like pedophilia or grooming to you, absolutely do report it. As someone once told me: The block button is a form of self-care. Use it! I have done the same over the last couple of days and it’s cathartic. If something triggers you, avoid it and find someone/somewhere to vent to if necessary. Your feelings are extremely valid, your aggression towards others (if you have shown any, that is) is not. Your experiences were horrific without any shadow of the doubt, but the way this possibly influences how you react to and treat others is absolutely something that is YOUR responsibility.

What I would, again, ask all of the people aggressively opposing SessRin is that you reconsider your stance on pedophilia. Its potential consequences are inexcusable, but accusing other people of being pedophiles because you’re jumping to conclusions is in extremely bad taste and leaves you not only on the same intellectual level as the shipper you’re accusing, but possibly even lower than that because you’re cherry-picking which potential mental disorder you’re discriminating against. It’s a free world, of course, but I’m sure we’re all trying very hard not to be hypocrites.

I wanted to TL;DR this entire post, but there’s honestly no way to do that without skipping over important parts. So thank you if you’ve made it to the end of this massive ramble. I understand that this is a very delicate subject and I am open to any and all people that would like to discuss this further. Special thanks go to Nonny for giving me the opportunity to talk about this more. I hope I answered your question, even if it might not have been what you wished to hear. Have a wonderful day and please take good care of yourself!

#inuyasha #sessrin #sesshoumaru #rin #hanyo no yashahime #hanyonoyashahime #hanyou no yashahime

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gluttons-a · 4 years

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MUNDAY QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS .

BASICS

NAME OR ALIAS : rose

GENDER + PRONOUNS : cis female , she / her

ZODIAC SIGN : virgo

RP EXPERIENCE : 5+ years

FAVORITE…

MOVIE : predestination / kingsman / gravity / it / the conjuring / interstellar / the kings speech / railway man / imitation game / the danish girl .

TV SHOWS : hannibal , stranger things , sherlock bbc , nikita .

ANIME : bnha / detective conan / haikyuu / death note / snk / sao ( a problematic fave of mine yikes ) / orange / ame nochi hare ( this is a manga but shh )

BOOK : the great gatsby , life of pi , perfume : the story of a murderer , a thousand splendid suns , the lover ( dumas ) , the bartimaeus triology , the dark room ( seiffert ) , macbeth , the reluctant fundamentalist ( mohsin ) , the old man & the sea .

POEM : the mad girl’s love song / lady lazarus —— sylvia plath .

MUSIC ARTIST : peach pit , (g) i-dle , kehlani , marinna & the diamonds , uverworld , frederic ( フレデリック ) , ac/dc , bon jovi , florida georgia line , post malone , stromae , oh wonder , hippo campus ... ( too many )

COLOR : red , black . for clothing , earth tones : khaki , beige , tan , olive green .

NUMBER : 2

LAST…

MOVIE WATCHED : zodiac ( 2007 )

TV SHOW WATCHED : the witcher ( 2019 ) ; if this includes anime ... hq s4 !!

BOOK READ : consent —— leo benedictus / justice —— michael sandel ( the two books im reading atm ! )

THING GOOGLED : italy suicide laws .

SONG LISTENED TO : my oh my —— camilla cabello , ft. dababy

SONG STUCK IN HEAD : wya —— carlie hanson

WHAT I’M WEARING : grey sweater + bell pants !

HOGWARTS HOUSE : slytherin / ravenclaw

POKEMON GO TEAM :

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP : 5 - 6 on average .

BLOG

WHEN I CREATED THIS BLOG : july 2018 .

DO I GET ASKS REGULARLY : sometimes ? if my mains are active / if i reblogged inbox memes .

EXPLAIN YOUR URL : meph reaps souls & eats them . hence devour . tm was just an rpc fad —— nothing much to explain , i dont think hsdkfjskdfa

RPC / FANDOM MISCONCEPTION YOU HATE

GIVE SOME RPC SALT :

its 2020 , why are there still writers that try to control other ppl’s content ? let people write homophobic / sexist / racist / morally gray / insensitive characters if they want to. mun =/= muse . are holocaust fiction writers who portray nazi characters nazis themselves ??? no ??? i still don’t understand what’s wrong with writing problematic characters . they’re not self inserts . if you personally don’t want to see that shit , no one is forcing you to come into contact with their content. just block it , simple . at the end of the day, rp is a hobby for all of us & ppl on the internet come from diff backgrounds / cultures / circumstances . no need to shove your own standard onto everyone , just approach every conversation w respect .

cancelling ppl / vaguing / making a huge deal of personal feuds on dash & getting third parties to take sides . i understand that actual predators who endanger minors within the rpc may warrant a post of warning ( note : this does not constitute as callout culture bc shit like that is actually illegal !! ) , but stop magnifying every single piece of irrelevant drama. i’ve actually had ppl contact me personally & vague / bad-mouth other mutuals that i’m close with & i hated every second. fam , no one wants to get involved in the middle of your messes . grow the f up & sort the matter out privately between yourselves .

GIVE SOME RPC SUGAR :

i’ve been on tons of forums during my years of rp & tumblr rpcs are genuinely like no other !! tumblr centralises multiple plotlines around a single character & aims to explore character psychology / depth as opposed to focusing more on plot than character development , which i highly , highly appreciate / prefer ! also , people in rpcs are generally super friendly & willing to interact , & the quality of blogs on tumble are just absolutely fab . not only the writing but the amount of thought / planning put behind the backstories , hcs , verses —— it’s so heartwarming to see how much people care abt their characters + worldbuilding —— it makes me more invested in interacting w the muses around me & developing my own in tandem !!

i’m genuinely so thankful for everyone who’s shown interest in my character or even just enjoyed plotting / chatting w me !! i’ve made some good , long - lasting friends in rpcs ( like , i’m still in contact w mutuals i had in 2016 , goodness ... ) + even met some of them irl !! soo i’ve been super grateful that the rpc has allowed me to connect w so many wonderful ppl & make some wonderful memories ♡

TAGGED BY : @gctita ( ty !!! (∩´∀｀)∩ )

TAGGING : anyone who’s interested !

#welp #discourse tw #idk if ppl are triggered by this but like #i really had to say it #:^)#tagged pending.

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emhpathy · 5 years

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Begin Again Ch.1 (m)

Jaehyun x Reader smut, angst, fluff

word count: 1,051

"In which y/n and Jaehyun had shitty past relationships that got their hearts broken, but are willing to start again. Maybe they are meant for each other... or not."

[New message from Unknown]:

“Hi y/n, this is Jaehyun. Jungwoo said him and your friend are trying to set us up, and that I should text you, if that's fine by you...?”

[New message from Unknown]: “How are you?”

“Alright” you think.

Luna said she would give your number to a friend's friend and you were okay with that. She had tried setting you up with her friends before, but things hadn't turned out the way you two expected. That's how you end up with two friends, Mark and Yuta, which, surprisingly, became friends too.

You and Luna met in high school. You were the talkative and not so shy type of girl. On the other hand Luna was the shy and not-gonna-talk-enough-until-i-feel-comfortable type. You two had a lot in common, which was your motivation to approach her first. Of course, she was taken aback by your suddenly engage in trying to make a conversation. Things worked just fine between you two and you two have been best friends since then.

Also, was in high school where you met your ex-boyfriend. Now that you're older and more mature, you see how problematic your relationship was. He was jealous of every guy friend of yours, you were possessive and very clingy, you couldn't control your emotions well and sometimes he used it against you, which led to several fights. Luna had always been there for you, listening to your complaints, drying your tears, telling you that you deserved better, she hated to see you like that. She wasn't a big fan of your ex, neither did he liked her.

That was until he decided to break up with you. It was traumatic, to say the least. You were broken for months. You felt like you had lost your will to live. You didn't want to see anyone other than your family and Luna, your grades started falling, you started skipping your baking classes, which you adored, you lost a lot of weight, you were a wreck, both physically and mentally. But slowly, in your pace, you started to live normally again, but you had never had another boyfriend.

After you graduated from high school, you started to have you fair number of one-night stands, which worked well for you. You didn't want a relationship and the things that come along with it. The drama, the fights over nothing, the headaches, the introduction to family and friends, basically, the feelings. So, the no strings attached thing were doing you good, until you started to feel lonely. You started complaining to Luna about your loneliness and how it was going to kill you, so one day she introduced you to Yuta.

He was indeed the prettiest guy you have ever seen in your life, he looked like a character straight out of a manga. He was charming, he was communicative, always make sure to see if you were okay, he was very sweet, but the thing is, you weren't attracted to him. He wasn't like one of your one-night stands, he actually wanted a relationship but the attraction wasn't there. Fortunately, you two have grown fond of each other, that's how you both end up being friends.

A couple of months later, Luna gave your number to Mark. He was a couple of years younger than you but very mature. He was beautitul, sweet, shy, and very honest. One time he admited that he really liked talking to you, you felt flattered but the attraction still wasn't there. You talked to him, he understood and asked if you could still be his friend, which you gladly accepted, you really liked talking to him.

You haven't talked to anyone after Yuta and Mark, and to be honest, you were a little discouraged to text Jaehyun back. Luna said he is a 24 years old sweet guy. He is friends with Jungwoo, who your friend might or might not have a bit of a crush on, so you didn't know if she was really trying to help you or set you up with Jaehyun, so you could go on couple dates.

You fell your phone vibrating next to you;

[New message from Brilla la Luna,]: you really have to change the name she put on your phone, “Jungwoo told me that Jaehyun texted you”

[New message from Brilla la Luna]: “you better text him back, bitch," the audacity

[New message from Brilla la Luna]: “i'm kidding

“Why not?” you think to yourself. You have nothing to lose.

[New message to Brilla la Luna]: “fine, i'll text him back but this is the last time you'll try to set me up with someone, ok? I accepted my fate and i know i'm gonna die alone,” you text her back. Luna said you were quite of a drama queen sometimes. You never denied it.

[New message from Brilla la Luna]: “can you stop being so dramatic? please? and fine, i'm gonna stop trying,” she texts back but you knew this was not going to be the last time. You knew Luna too well.

You open Jaehyun's chat and start typing:

[New message to Jaehyun]: “Hi, Jaehyun, this is y/n! I'm aware of their plan of trying to set us up, I hope you're fine with it too?,” you send it

[New message to Jaehyun]: “and I'm fine, thank you for asking! I just got home from work, what about you?”

You text Luna again;

[New message to Luna]: “done, just texted him. you happy now???????,” she replies right away

[New message from Luna]: “yes!! i know you're gonna love him! Woo said he is very sweet,” Woo? Hm, you knew it, “and he wants to see him with someone cool, which happens to be you!”

[New message from Luna]: “just try ok? for me, i promise you won't regret it. Besides, Jungwoo said Jaehyun only had one relationship, didn't end well but anyways, he is willing to meet someone now,” you feel a little encouraged,

[New message to Luna]: “fine, you convinced me, i'm gonna try, for real,” you block your phone and lie down on your couch, staring at the ceiling. You didn't want to expect much but you were tired of feeling lonely, you were going to try this time and you hoped Jaehyun would too.

Note: Hi?! I don't know if anyone other than my best friend is going to read this lol this is my first time writing but i really like reading scenarios and i have a few ideas so why not?! I'd really appreciate feedbacks, even one, just so i'll know that there's anyone reading. I'm sorry if it's confusing, english is not my first language and this is my very first work (?) lol thank you for reading and feel free to send asks, i really like to talk!

#nct scenario #nct angst #nct smut #nct fluff #jaehyun scenario #jaehyun smut #jaehyun angst #jaehyun fluff #begin again

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tumblunni · 6 years

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Man, god, im just suddenly thinking about "ak/ur/oku" and like.. How the fuck did that even become such a huge thing in early 2000s fandom? Dear god so much early gay shipping in fandom was super unhealthy "sinful" bullshit made by straight people for fetishy purposes rather than genuine representation. But a/kurok/u was such a weird one because it was like.. Just globally accepted and never aknowledged to be problematic?? Man i still remember how lil 13 year old me didnt know there was anything wrong with it, like seriously when stuff like this becomes popularized it ends up sending bad messages to actual queer youth. Learning about your sexuality via the internet cos there's no sex ed irl for you, abd you end up stumbling into toxic fandoms before you have the critical thinking skills necessary to know that this stuff is bad and shouldnt be imitated. Like seriously one of the things i worry about EVERY NIGHT AT 2AM THAT KEEPS ME FROM SLEEPING is that stupid lil 15 year old me made a post on deviantart going like "are pedophiles really all bad? I mean it sounds like an illness. I mean maybe theyre just scared and they want help." Like im terrified constantly that someone will find that old thing and judge me as if i still believe that apologist crap, or as if it was actually an opinion i formed from a fully developed mind, rather than from a kid who (as far as i knew) had never met a pedophile, thinking about pedophiles in the abstract, while being influenced by fuckin pedophile-dominated fandoms and having NO IDEA. and of cooooourse i wanted to believe that i was mature for my age, i thought that was a compliment.. Uuuuugh...

Sorry, going a little offtopic there.

But anyway isnt it kinda weird how akur/oku was just.. Not even regarded as pedophilia? And when i was a kid it wasnt just me not understanding the gross parts of the fandom, i legit never thought axel was that much older than roxas. And it was one of the more popular gay ships cos at that point as far as we knew it was the only person axel had any sort of backstory with, and he cared so much about this guy that he was willing to sacrifice his life to help sora even when he knew roxas would never come back. At the time without further context it seemed like a reasonable assumption to make? And it wasnt until Days that i realized axel was intended to be an adult rather than a teenager, and even worse A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO MADE THAT SHIPPING ART KNEW THAT. Uuugh it was so gross in retrospect to go back and see all the clues i missed that these people were fetishizing roxas's inexperience and veey much writing him as underage. AAAAAAA!

Anyway im glad that shit is now recognized as shit and now we have canon evidence of this dude being old as balls. And honestly i love the relationship of him as a big brother/dad to roxas and xion a lot more, even though as a kid i was desperate for any kind of queer representation in kh. Like.. I never really actually liked the ship that much or felt any chemistry? I just latched onto a few bad writing flubs that could potentially be interpreted as Gay Evidence because i was SO damn desperate! Like i felt like i had to support all these gross abusive ships in fandom cos if i wasnt then i was being 'homophobic', i mean they were THE ONLY AVAILABLE OPTIONS, right? :( Its only now ive grown up i can see how wrong that was, and how people just used it as an excuse to make gross shit and get away with it. Like how in Black Butler all these 'yaoi fangirls' kept erasing the rarest of rare things, a canon trans woman, because 'its sexier if its gay'. Ughhhh. And seriously that discourse still exists for poor Grell, and there's still a lot of these shitty bigoted people pretending to be allies, but like seriously this was EVERYWHERE in 2005! And lgbt rights and even lgbt communities at all were way smaller and less available to the poor teenagers who really needed that positive influence while they were figuring out who they are. So man the abusive side of yaoi fandom was WAY more powerful, and wya more.mainstream, with barely any criticism. And the whole content of this fandom was creepy fuckin adults making pedo porn, and kids who just discovered they were queer and tried to headcanon their favourote characters as being like them. Fucking predator heaven! So yeh that ruined KH for me and definately made me scared of returning to Black Butler for almost a decade. And then i found out that the manga itself has none of that pedo shit and that one of the fandom's biggest abusive gay man archetypes was actually a trans woman this entire time, and just gahhhhh....

Also like seriously this is a tad offtopic but can we kill the anime trope of either everyone looking young or everyone looking old? Or creepy things where just one character looks the wrong age in order to fetishize pedophilia? I dont think kingdom hearts was one of those intentional ones, like i mean there's super bad shit where its like 'this 5 year old looking person is really 9000 years old/actually 18 and just hasnt had their growth spurt yet' (somehow its even more insulting when theres not even a magical excuse) Or the other way around and we have a character thats canonically underage but drawn looking sexually mature with big ol knockers so its somehow okay. The existence of those horrible things is why i end up feeling uncomfortable even seeing ambiguous ages as just a trope in completely innocent anime, yknow? Like in pokemon and digimon all the 10 year old protagonists are exactly the same height as all the adults, and all the female love interests for ash have to be early bloomers in terms of chest and hips, while notably Iris is the only one who actually looks her age and also the first non love interest. Its another reason why i prefer the new art style for the latest season, they make everyone look like kids and Lillie continues to look like a kid even though she's the main girl and has all the cute scenes with Ash. The girls even got very normal looking kiddy swimsuits in the beach episode! Why is that so uncommon, to find the bare minimum thing of underage kids not being sexualized at the beach??

Soooooo yeah, thats at least part of why kid me thought axel and roxas were within a similar age range. Like i thought roxas was maybe 16 and axel was 18?? Somehow?? I dont even know, kingdom hearts isnt even SUPER bad with the 'kids look like older teens,all adults look like age 20 at the most' anime syndrome. Its probably more because id been raised on games and anime that followed that trope, before i played kh. And as a kid you just dont really know the exact differences between 'old', like i mean i knew teenagers were tall and boys get a growth spurt, so somehow it made sense to me that axel could be the same age as roxas?? And man even if i knew he wasnt, i was barely educated at all about pedophilia and i didnt know the nuances of it. I just knew 'its bad for adults to marry kids' like man i was really behind the curve in general learning due to my undiagnosed autism and abusive parenting so like HERE'S 12 YEAR OLD ME NOT EVEN THINKING ABOUT THE SEX ASPECT. And i didnt know that adults in relationships with teenagers was bad too, or like 16/17 year old teens dating kids... I was so fuckin dumb... I really cant believe that not only did i believe stupid adults saying 'pedophilia isnt bad if you're non offending, its okay to make cartoon child porn as long as you dont physically abuse real kids' but also i somehow just DID NOT EVER REALIZE that axel was an adult and roxas wasnt even a goddamn older teen...

So yeh im making a lot of excuses for why my stupid younger self was blindly parroting bullshit, but im not trying to excuse how goddamn wrong and bad it was. I still wake up ashamed in the middle of the night for crapoy decisions i made as a dumb kid, and in terrified that some shreds of it might still exist out there on the internet and maybe someone else could read it?! Gahhhh! Seriously could i have accidentally helped spread that bullshit brainwashing to other kids? And seriously when people say this shit is harmless they just need to look at this, look at how being into problematic yaoi is such a common 'phase' for ACTUAL CHILDREN. Like its not fuckin NATURAL for kids to fall into this stuff, they do it because they dont know any better but the people making the goddamn founding blocks of the fandom are fuckin grown women fetishizing gay men or grown men fetishing lesbians. There's people who do know better who actually conciously decide that a/kurok/u is a good ship while knowing all the goddamn details of what it actually is and exactly what theyre supporting by shipping it. Ughhhhh!

So yeh fuckin Please Stay Safe In Fandom, Kids

And pedophiles have absolutely none of my sympathy, please ignore that goddamn shit i wrote as a little kid being fuckin groomed by a fandom without even knowing it.

This also applies a lot to the rest of LGBT+ aside from just gay shipping, like seriously it took me til age 18 to find any positive representation of trans people or even a proper explanation of what being trans is, yet before i was even 8 years old i'd seen a million 'lol gross man in a dress who gets sexual gratification from wearing women's underwear' jokes in kids shows. And when i was 12 i'd already been exposed to the fuckin hell of m/pre/g thanks to its prevelance of untagged n/sf/w shit in the kh fandom. And by age 15 i'd been exposed to pedophile apologists arguing whether child porn was okay if they only got off to that and didnt personally abuse that kid with their own hands. All of that shit but actually learning about homosexuality and gender in sex ed would have been 'too much' for someone my age...

God what a fuckin mess. Fuck im really really fuckin worried that any of my ignorant comments at those ages could have been read by other ignorant kids and contributed to that disgusting fandom atmosphere. Fuck i think about this so damn often im so damn ashamed of how ignorant i used to be yet i know the adult fuckfaces making pedo shit never reel one lick of shame any damn day of their life. I used to excuse their shit as an actual kid cos i just ASSUMED they would be ashamed and want to seek help! Gahhhh..

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midotakaism · 7 years

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To the rude and annoying anon before, if you stopped liking tianshan because of people "like monica" who dont react to chapters without tianshan, shouldn't the same be said for the jianxi chapters too? A hell lot more people couldn't care less about tianshan -- does that mean you're gonna leave the entire fandom? I hope you do, we dont need little shits like you to ruin the mood of some of our bestest here on tumblr. Monica hun, ignore the little shit troll. SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK THOUGH!!!♡♡

(it took me an embarrassingly long time to type down this reply because i kept getting flustered by you calling me ‘hun’ and using my name but like, in the best way possible!! (*ﾉωﾉ) ….i blush way too easily, pls don’t judge me…………..anyway!!)

i actually woke up this morning feeling a bit ashamed of myself for replying to that message because, like you said, whoever sent it was obviously a troll: they didn’t actually care about what i do or do not post, they were just looking for someone to pick up a fight with or to start some drama, and the best way to deal with this kind of people is to ignore them, so i shouldn’t have given them any attention to begin with. i just hope they won’t go around making people feel bad or starting fights, that’s all that matters!!

im also gonna take the occasion to say my two (unwanted) cents on this whole shipping matter (sorry, anon!!), because i feel like it’s something that’s getting a bit out of hand. i personally don’t think it’s a problem, or inherently bad, or that it makes them less of a fan if someone ships only one of the two pairs, or if they like one more than the other. it’s not the case of 19 days for me, but i can honestly think of so many tv shows and manga where i liked only a couple of characters and ships and that i kept watching/reading just because of them. i don’t think there’s anyone who ever liked every single character and every single couple of every single thing they've ever watched or read in their life. one of the reasons why love triangles became so popular is because people have different tastes and enjoy different things: there are those who are going to like both options, but there are also those who will like only one of the two. we’re not talking about a love triangle here, but the principle is the same. in the end, we’re all enjoying 19 days and supporting old xian, albeit in different ways, and that’s what’s important

everything becomes problematic only when people start to bash the ship they don’t like or to send hate to people who don’t enjoy the same thing they do. we all have different tastes, and everyone should be free to blog about what they want without feeling like they have to please other people. the key here is to be respectful of each others. if you want to comment something about a ship you don’t like, by all means, do it, but make sure not to put it in the tags!! and if you see an opinion you don’t share, don’t attack that person: block them if their posts bother you too much, or if they appear too often in the tags, and follow blogs with contents that you like!! of course there are always going to be trolls and hateful people, but we shouldn’t let them ruin our enjoyment. maybe this is– overly optimistic?? or it sounds too condescending?? idk, but i’ve been around fandoms for– way too long probably, and this is really the best way to go to keep having a good time, at least in my opinion

it should also be pointed out that valid and constructive criticism is different from hate, but this is already too long, so let’s not go there. sorry again, anon!! you didn’t sign up for this mess of a reply…… anyway, thank you so much for the nice message!! ❤ it’s good to be back :’)

#ask #anon #i hope this came out alright??#i probably shouldn't write serious stuff when my head is such a mess #but seeing so many ship wars and fights is really sad #idk i just hope it didn't came out wrong #anyway #i hope you're going to have a wonderful day anon!!#and thank you again!!

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an-musings · 7 years

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On motivation, homework and a false sense of security

I’ve been having these small realizations as of recently. For example “No, people do not watch you every second of the day,” or “Yes you haven’t been as happy as you believed yourself to be these last few years” or even the simple “No, the people in the corner of your sight are not staring at you, simply because they are too preoccupied with themselves” to “If you actually do your homework properly life is so much easier” and even “That friend is too far gone for you to help, after alcohol, suicidal tendencies, drugs, sex and being institutionalized she’s turned out too twisted for you to fix. She came out worse than she went in.” Well, after a tiny bit of introspection, I believe that my mild sob story of an early grade school life isn’t the only reason I feel down some time. Neither is my tiny and problematic, sometimes even toxic friend group. Nor my choice of course. Of course these carry some weight, but the major problem right now is me. I have no intrinsic motivation for most of what I do. I have been postponing things since the 1st year of middle school, because I didn’t care enough to bother. I do enough to pass with good grades, but they’re steadily dropping. Call me petty or an elitist or whatever you want, but I broke down when I received my report card of 79.2% total. I dropped from 82.4% last year, and in the 80% to 90% range the years before. Every time I get a report card with a lower score, I cry. I cry because I know I can do much better, I’m just not motivated enough to actually do it. In the past (read: before christmas break) I blamed it on laziness and the bad habit of postponing, I thought: “I can always have peace of mind when I pretend nothing’s the matter, pretend I have no homework, just wing it on tests or revise the day of.” And I thought I was happy with the way things were. I thought I had peace of mind. Turns out, I did not. (What a twist, I know) At the start of this week, I finally, after all these years, actually did my homework and prepared for once. Afterwards, my head was so clear and my heart was so light, I couldn’t believe it, I hadn’t even felt like that during summer breaks. That feeling lasted a day. One day. Because the next day I spent 3+ hours on one assignment directly after coming home, after which I still had to study for a test. I ended up moving that studying to the morning the next day, at that the good feeling promptly vanished. Much like today, where I postponed studying for a test to tomorrow morning, as well as sorting out my backpack and PE bag. I now know this feeling is a false sense of tranquility, I am still stressed while convincing myself that I am calm and fine. No wonder I keep getting blocked for art, keep searching for more ways to take my mind off things. All of those ways are legal, by the way. I’m talking games like slime rancher, otomes, fluffy manga, smut, the occasional bit of hentai, etc… mindless things to waste time on. This has been rambling about my current state of mind, ~A.N. 00.54 AM 01.02.2017

#eh #a recent piece of writing #motivation #school #teenage conundrums #homework #stress

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