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gingerjolover · 3 months

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valentine's request: julien being your secret admirer 🤭🤭🤭

guys this is so cute :(

another blurb? all of y'all hop on my magic carpet let's take a ride

(i wanted to make a strap joke but the magic carpet is more appropriate)

no warnings except this is RPF, fluff ahead!

okay i would have to imagine a scenario where you are friends with the boys

like maybe you work at saddest factory with phoebe or you know them through muna or you're part of their crew

either way i imagine you'd have to be around the boys a lot for julien to do the cheesy secret admirer stuff

and i think julien probably doesn't even mean to be a secret admirer like it happens accidentally

okay picture this, you're part of the social team or operations or something that you're spending hella time with the boys so obviously you start to learn a lot about them

and i mean you probably learn way too much like there you are on a friday afternoon loosening the buttons on phoebes button up with a little sewing tool because she decided she wants to flash the crowd meanwhile the band and jb and lucy are talking your ear off about something to do with philosophical trends in modern media

and you're so grateful for the time you've spent on tour because who would've thought this amazing group of people would have convos about their favorite colors and the best way to cook tofu and why certain toothpaste is better for your teeth than others

and so while you're soaking up all this info, jb in particular really takes a fancying to you but there's something always holding her back

luce and pheebs swear that you're sweet on her but she says "losing their friendship is NOT worth me admitting i find them pretty," because jb would rather have you working the tour and be a lifelong friend than freak you out

but jb lit can't help it, she's always remembering the little details and keeping them locked away in her mind

and one morning one of the crew guys heads out early and brings back pastries

and youre running around like a headless chicken before the show so jb saves your favorite flavor of muffin aside for you

she writes your name in a very quick and hasty, and honestly descript scratch

and when you finally catch a break the boys are prepping for soundcheck and your eyes light up at this little muffin sitting on the table all wrapped nice and neat

"thank you! to whoever saved this for me!" you say with sweet eyes and a smile that literally makes jules feel like she's gonna ascend

and jb is about to take credit bc duh when maybe phoebe is like "look at you with a secret admirer," which causes you to blush and holy hell if it's not the cutest thing jb has ever seen

her voice literally gets stuck in her throat and she can't say a word

she decides then and there she's gonna be your secret admirer

and boy does she COMMIT

girlie is buying your favorite candy and ordering flowers from local flower shops, or the second new merch comes in she's snagging a crewneck, or she's looking at your goodreads and getting a book on your 'want to read' list and leaving it in your bunk

and this goes on for MONTHS

i mean a majority of the tour, you're being spoiled and you try to ask around but literally no one knows it's julien

and finally lucy and phoebe and julien are at a coffee shop in a random city later in the tour

luce and phoebe leave to go outside and julien "forgets her wallet" going back inside and grabbing you a chocolate croissant, shoving it in her backpack gently to hide it in the venue when they get back

and phoebe catches her when they are in the green room

and she's shocked honestly, julien's hand pressing to the blonde's mouth

"shut the fuck up" julien hisses, wide eyes staring into phoebes

"you little fucker! just tell them!"

and phoebe is like "whatever", rolling her eyes but for the next 2 weeks smirks everytime a little treat gets found by you

but it comes to a head one of the last shows before break

you're on your period maybe or just not feeling well, medicine and a new heating pad are waiting for you in your bunk

and the bus is quiet like everyone is chilling, not yet asleep, but it's quiet hours and you just start to sob

jb finds you and is like "woah woah woah!" rushing to you, one hand on your back the other wiping at your blotchy cheeks

"you okay?" she whispers, trying to calm you down

and you just point to the items and jb's blood runs ice cold, she starts to stammer like, "what- i don't understand," trying to play dumb

and you LOSE it like, "i don't know who keeps giving me presents but i feel so guilty because i don't deserve them and when i was complaining about my heating pad it didn't mean i needed a new one and the person is spending money and i'm so confused-" like fully having a meltdown

and julien is holding your face so gingerly being like "hey, hey it's... it's me, don't cry sweetheart, you have nothing to feel guilty about," and you're sooooo confused

julien sighs, adjusting her baseball cap, "i- i really like you and i saw how you acted when phoebe said you had a secret admirer and it was so cute so i just kept doing it but i didn't realize how you didn't really ask for any of it and i see now how it could be taken as super creepy and invasive? and i didn't mean to make you cry i-" before you cut her rambles off with a bone crushing hug

"i like you too jay."

#anon cutie #julien baker x reader #boygenius x reader #julien baker fluff #julien baker blurb #i love julien<3 #gingy's cupid shuffle #gingy's blurb night #2/1000 basically lol

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legit9thlunaticwarrior · 1 year

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y'all wearing me down bc it's gonna get even better (very humble, donna. thank you donna)

|remember to leave feedback and i love all you heathens|

~Part I , Part II~

'The Very First Night: Part III' Angelo Parker (Jeff) x fem!reader

gif: @junglehooks

^james seems to be growing more and more suspicious about his best friend's behavior^

-Wheeler Yuta (James) and i tossed julia hart in there - I/N - instagram name -CW: mentions of smoking

3rd Person POV

After the match, Y/N decided to change and she made her way to her truck. She got that little pack of cigarettes from the glove compartment and lit up, "Since when do you smoke?" James' voice scared her a bit. "Fucking hell. It's an occasional thing; I'm not proud of it but-" He got in the passenger seat and looked at her. He wasn't stupid, he knew something was on her mind. "What the hell happened between you and Parker in the ring? The way he looked at you? The way you looked at him?!" "James, I don't know. Those guys are unpredictable. I guess I reacted like that because I was caught off guard. They may be scum, but I doubt he would've hurt me." She took a drag from the little cancer stick and looked to see if he bought the answer. Before he could press the issue any further, "Alright kids, Y/N, what's this diner you went to?" "Two Whales. I'll call Joyce and tell her she's got five coming. Don't worry Bryan, there's stuff for you. They made menu additions after an influx of tourists." Or to tell her not to bring up her little secret. She got out of the truck to make the call as the rest of the guys piled in. "Hey honey." "Hey Joyce, you guys got room for five?" "Of course Y/N. Does one of them happen to be that Jeff guy?" "No, uh, could you actually do me a solid and not mention him? It's kind of a secret. Say I was with an old friend from high school." "I don't like that sneaking around game; but I'll go with it. We will discuss it before you leave on Sunday." Y/N put the cigarette out, "Yes, mother. See you soon." Bryan decided to ask as she got back in the truck "Why are there no seatbelts?" "Because I normally never had more than two other people in this truck."

"There they are!" "Boys, this is Joyce. Joyce, this is Jon, Bryan, Claudio, and James." Y/N introduced as she pointed to each man. "Yes, the Blackpool Combat Club. I hope my Y/N hasn't been too much trouble for you." "Is this your mother?" Claudio asked. "Like one, but no. Her daughter is one of my closest friends." "Why don't you bring them to your booth and I'll get some menus." She nodded and motioned for them to follow her. As they walked past, a few of the older truckers and bikers whistled at her. Jon was about to say something to him when she stepped in "Can it, Mark." She spat. "I don't need these guys to put you in your place; I did it all throughout high school, and I'll do it again." They all sat in the booth and Joyce came over with menus. "Y/N L/N; always biting the heads off these old guys. Never backing down from a fight." She looked at James, who was sat next to her, "You were out there with her tonight, correct?" He smiled "Yes ma'am. You watched the show?" "Baby, any friend of my Y/N is a friend of mine; you all call me Joyce. Of course I did. I had to watch her keep that belt." Once everyone had decided on what they wanted, Joyce took it down and went to the counter. The four of them had been looking at all the vandalism on the table and leather seats that Y/N got to check her phone for the first time. Messages from her friends, social media but two things stood out;

J🤫 - we need to talk

Instagram: theangeloparker tagged you in their story

She texted him back that they would talk when she got to the hotel, but the Instagram thing had to wait. She was pulled out of her phone when Jon asked "This town seems kinda, quiet. How did you get to be so rowdy?" "You have to know the right places. The old mill by the railroad and junkyard held many bonfire parties and concerts. Where I got some of my scars, at that mill." She pulled the neck of her shirt to show the scar on her shoulder, "Went to see Firewalk in 2010, some prick gashed me with a broken beer bottle." "Pretty gnarly. Hate to see what you did to him." James joked. They had been eating for a while when Joyce came over with a camera, "Mind if I get a photo for our board?" All five agreed and Joyce snapped with the polaroid camera; something the girls gave her for mother's day one year.

The group finished eating and Y/N sent the guys to the truck so she could talk to Joyce. "I hope you aren't staying behind to try and pay. Hometown hero and company eat free. Or is there something else?" Y/N leaned over the counter and sighed "Joyce, James is on to me and I can't tell them." "Explain to me why. Why can't you?" Joyce knew what storylines in this industry were, but this one ran deeper than scripts. "Jeff is a part of the 'Jericho Appreciation Society', I'm part of the Blackpool Combat Club, they've been at eachother's throats for months now. Yeah, kayfabe and storylines but this rivalry runs years deep." "Baby, I know how you feel about him. You've never looked at a man the way you looked at him. You fought tooth and nail to get to where you are. You are one of the strongest women I know, you have a world title belt, and you made your dream a reality. Don't let this stop you from the one thing you always denied yourself." Y/N knew she was right. "Okay. I'll think of something. I'm not fucking this up." "Language. Now go on now, you're probably tired and we can talk more before you leave the Bay."

~Back at the Hotel~

Once she got into her hotel room, she immediately checked that Instagram notification. He can't be that foolish; can he? She thought. She opened it and saw he reposted a shot of their stand off in the ring, but the song is what caught her attention.

I can wait for you at the bottom I can stay away if you want me to I could wait for years if I gotta Heaven knows I ain't getting over you

She went to text him immediately. She sent him her room number and waited. Not even ten minutes later, he did that stupid knock they had. When she opened the door, he had a smirk on his face but it soon disappeared as she dragged him in the room quickly. "Are you out of your mind?!" She questioned him. "I don't see what the problem is-" "Let's see; you get in the ring after my match, act like you're concerned about me rather than your little friend, then you post that picture with that song. We are supposed to hate each other remember?" He understood why she felt this way: it was a little reckless to do, all things considered. "Jeff, we have to find a way to end this feud. James is on to us and Joyce is mothering me about this." "I know, I know. What do you propose we do?" They both thought for a second until a light bulb went off over her, "Gauntlet match. I'll take on all of you. Or you all decided who will be the breaker. I just want this to stop. If we aren't feuding anymore, we can act normal." He knew she was serious "Doll, I can't let you do that. There's seven of us and you can get seriously hurt." "I'm doing it. I'm calling Tony tomorrow." Jeff sighed knowing how stubborn she was, so they decided to drop it and go to bed.

Y/N woke up to the sound of Jeff's voice on the phone with someone; someone that sounded like Matt. "Jeff, you're too loud." "Who was that?" Jeff panicked, "Met her at the bar." Matt knew that voice, There's no way. he thought about his friend. "Is that who I think it is?" "Matt, we'll talk about it later." And hung up. "Hmm so now I'm 'met her at the bar'?" "Don't be like that, baby." She pulled him back down to her, "I'm calling Tony later." "I know I can't stop you, but I don't want to hurt you. Ask to fight Hager or Chris; I can't do that to you after all this. I want this to work between us." His words were sweet as he brushed a piece of hair out of her face. "That's why I'm doing this. But if us getting in that ring is what ends this bullshit, we have to. It'll be a funny story." The phone call to Tony went well. She has to run through three members of JAS and everything will be over. Though, he said they were to decide amongst themselves who she'd face.

-----

Jeff's POV

I had met Matt at the hotel's gym and I knew walking in that he was going to interrogate me about the phone call this morning. "Wanna tell me 'bout this girl you met?" "No. I don't think I will." Matt rolled his eyes, "Nah, you're not getting off that easy. If it was Y/N, just tell me." I couldn't lie to him. We've known each other for God knows. "Yeah, it was. But yo-" "I knew it! Anna and I had a feeling since the lipstick thing. You never really got over her, did you?" Shake of the head 'no'. "Listen, your secret is safe. But I know after your stunt after the title match, Chris is gonna put you in that gauntlet." "I know," I just sighed, "We both had a feeling. I just can't hurt her again. What if I threw the match?" "Well you'll have hell to pay but these battles will be put behind us. I'm on your side with this one, buddy."

-----

Y/N's POV

"Ready to get your ass kicked, James?" "Y/N, you need to tell me the truth." Fuck. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. "About what?" James groans, "You and Parker. I know you've been sneaking around with him." We sat in the ring and I got ready to spill. "We had a thing, a number of years ago and I guess it started back up. I know we're supposed to despise them, but Jeff is different." "Why didn't you tell me before?" he moved closer to me. "Considering you all fight at any given chance; I thought it was a good idea to keep it secret. I didn't know what you'd think." "I'm not mad; if that's what you thought. In the short time we've known each other, you've become my best friend and I want you to be happy. I do think you should avoid telling the others." Grateful was an understatement to describe how I feel to have James. "Hey, I have a great idea to help me win against them." He looked at me and I told him my plan. I had asked Julia to take pictures of James and I for Instagram. I settled on posting five: me on James' back, wearing each other's titles, us facing the other way so the backs of our team jackets are showing, us hanging upside down from the ropes, and me kissing his cheek: I/N: partner in honor, partner in combat

-----

3rd Person POV:

~Wednesday~

The gauntlet match was to be announced tonight on Dynamite. Y/N and James were to interrupt the JAS during their promo about Anna's loss. Right as Chris was yapping, 'For it is just an Illusion' "Yowza, you guys need to have a promo every time you lose?" She and James got in the ring as Chris spoke "What, you need your guard dog with you at all times?" She turned her head, "Yuta? Oh don't worry, he doesn't bite; but I do." "Listen girly, if you wanna come out here and take up the Jericho Appreciation Society's TV time, make it useful; how about explain what happened in the ring with Cool Hand last week?" Daniel said, trying to act tough. Y/N laughed, "First, back off kid, the adults are talking." Jeff had moved past Daniel to come face to face with Y/N "Second, c'mon Parker, you're seriously gonna act like you don't know me? If memory serves me right, you and I had a lot of fun together, back on the indie scene." 'Y/N, stop.' he mouthed to her. "What? You don't want your pretentious little friends to know about our-" His hand found its way around her throat. Not tight, just enough to end her talking as he saw her bite her lip, "I said, stop, Y/N." She smirked as he let go, "Well, look at that everyone: pretty boy does remember a thing or two about me. Now, I made a call to Tony Khan and requested a gauntlet to put all this nonsense to rest. Next week on Dynamite, the Blackpool Combat Club's 'Illusion', Y/N vs three of what you consider the best in your little, marching band of morons. I beat all three of Chris' picks and we end this feud; deal?" She stuck her hand out to Chris and he took it. He knew exactly who she'd face.

Once Rampage that week came, the promo Y/N and James shot as phase two of her little plan aired. After winning their trios tag match, Jeff, Matt, and Daniel were interrupted by: Y/N was humming a song that Jeff knew very well. One they considered theirs. He was so focused on the song that he didn't even realize she was wearing his merch shirt. "Oh I'm sorry. Am I interrupting your little celebration? Don't worry, I won't be long. Just wanted to remind everyone that on Dynamite, you get to watch me beat some JASholes. I know everyone watching is sick of this feud. See you Wednesday." She then blew a kiss and winked at the camera.

"I'm so fucking screwed." Jeff whispered to Matt. "Ya think?"

~~~~~~~

lovely taglist babes (pinned post for form) @josiewrites @wwenhlimagines @plentyoffandoms @auburnwrites @1rsolideranna @sunshinevirus @sultryfandoms @alexisquinnlee-bc @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @eddiefrickenmunson @taterthetronado @summertimefun1982 @niknakbucks92 @roseflowerbed12

#donna writes #‘the very first night’; series #aew #angelo parker #angelo parker: donna’s hat man #donna is in love with angelo parker #jeff parker #angelo parker x reader #angelo parker fanfiction #angelo parker imagine #aew fanfiction #aew x reader #wrestling fluff

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themetaphorgirl · 1 year

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Okay a Hotch whump drabble idea just bc the latest one has inspired me, I don’t know if Sean would visit again after that whole adoption fiasco but maybe there’s a phone-call or something (a situation where Sean basically rejects Aaron completely) and he’s in his room and Alex checks on him and he gets to the point where he says ‘why does nobody want me’, unbeknownst to them Spencer’s been eavesdropping and he crashes into the room like ‘I WANT YOU!’ And then Alex and Spencer comforting Aaron (maybe when Aaron is asleep Spencer can say something like ‘nobody wanted me either until I came here and you guys found me, but we found Aaron too! Why doesn’t he know it yet?’)

oof my whole heart

this actually ties really well into the 18k word backstory oneshot I wrote with Aaron (but haven’t posted yet) and the Spencer backstory oneshot I’m currently working on.

(and it ties perfectly into the last chapter of Patron Saint. which should be getting updated on Thursday!)

———

“Alex, you’ve got to talk to him.”

She blinked in confusion. “Who am I talking to?” she asked as she opened the cover of anther return.

Derek glanced around, making sure no one was listening. “Hotch,” he said in a low voice. “He’s been in a shitty mood all day and it’s only getting worse.”

Alex frowned. “I haven’t seen talked to him since lunch,” she said. She glanced around Derek from her vantage point at the circulation desk; she could see Hotch sitting on the couch with the rest of the group, his textbooks still closed as he tapped at his phone. “Do you think he’s sick again?”

“I don’t think so,” Derek said. “Not this time.” He shoved his hands in his back pockets. “I think he’s sad about something, but it’s coming out angry.”

Alex bit her lip. “I’ll talk to him,” she promised. “Spencer’s doing okay though, right?”

“Yeah, he’s fine, little man is playing with Penny’s Nintendo,” Derek said.

“And doing badly?”

“Oh, it’s horrible. I didn’t know it was possible to fuck up Animal Crossing that bad.”

Alex laughed. “Let me make some headway on these returns and then I’ll come check on him,” she said. “Let me know if anything changes.”

Derek nodded and headed back to the group. Alex picked up another book. The sophomores had just finished their research papers for history class, which meant they all returned their sources at the same time.

A notification lit up on her phone; she paused to pick it up and check it. She didn’t use social media that often but the other kids sure did, and Emily had tagged her in half a dozen memes on Facebook.

Absently she scrolled through her feed, and then froze.

Aaron Hotchner was tagged in a comment.

It didn’t make sense, Hotch used social media less than any of them. But she stared at the photo and the caption and the comments with growing horror.

We welcomed our sweet boy into our home three years ago, but today it’s official! This morning the judge signed the papers and Sean is officially a Eubanks. While the circumstances surrounding his adoption are tragic, and we will always miss my sister Elizabeth, I know that adopting her baby boy as our own is exactly what she would have wanted. Mommy and Daddy love you so much, Seanie!

Hotch’s younger brother grinned in the photograph with their aunt and uncle on either side of him, posed in front of the judge. At least a hundred people had liked the picture, and dozens of comments congratulated the new family. Someone had commented “too bad Aaron couldn’t be there!” with his name highlighted in the tag, but his aunt hadn’t replied.

Alex dropped her phone in her pocket and left the desk, abandoning the books. “You,” she said, startling Hotch enough that his phone slipped from his hand.

“Why?” he asked, glaring up at her.

“Because I said so. Come here.”

He rolled his eyes and pushed himself off the couch. Alex took him by the sleeve, dragged him into her office, and closed the door. “Are you okay?” she demanded.

“Why would I not be okay?” he asked.

“Because you-“

“I’m not sick,” he said flatly. “I just didn’t sleep well last night.”

“But I saw-“

“I’m really not in the mood for you to fucking mother me to death, so if you don’t mind, I have homework to do,” he snapped as he turned towards the door.

“Aaron!” she said. “I saw.“

He froze, his back to her.

She took a deep breath and lowered her voice. “I saw,” she said again. “I saw the photo, and the caption, and everybody saying congratulations.”

He didn’t move.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

He was quiet for so long that she worried he hasn’t heard her.

“They didn’t even let me there,” he said in a small voice. “I knew they were going to…but I thought…I thought they’d at least invite me.”

Alex stepped behind him in and slipped her fingers around his wrist. “I know,” she said softly.

“They changed his name,” he said. “Not that…not that I even wanted this name, but we don’t even have the same last name anymore.” Alex stroked the soft skin of his inner wrist. “He already called them mom and dad but…this is different. This is permanent.”

She could feel his pulse picking up, and when she tugged him to turn around he didn’t fight her. “I’m so sorry,” she said.

Aaron rubbed his eyes with the heel of his palm. “God, I don’t know why I’m so upset,” he said, a wet laugh breaking from his throat. “It makes sense. He doesn’t remember Mama, what he remembers of Dad is that he’s a piece of shit. They might as well adopt him.”

His eyes were red-rimmed and welling up. Alex squeezed his hand. “You’re allowed to be upset,” she said.

“It’s stupid.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Why didn’t they take me too?” he burst out. He dragged his hand over his face. “God, it’s so fucking stupid. I don’t even like them, I don’t want to be adopted, I’d fucking kill to have my mom back, but…why didn’t they take me too?”

Alex didn’t know how to answer. She held his hand in both of hers, smoothing her fingertips over his knuckles.

“And now Sean’s got a new family, and he needs me even less than he did before,” Aaron said bitterly. “God, why doesn’t…why doesn’t anyone ever want me?”

“I want you.”

Spencer peeked around the door, hazel eyes huge in his pale little face. Aaron’s shoulders hitched. “Yeah?” he said, his voice thick.

“Yeah,” Spencer said, still half hidden in the doorway as if he was afraid he’d said the wrong thing, and Aaron choked on a sob and held out his arms. Spencer closed the distance between them, wrapping his arms around his neck, and Aaron scooped him up in the tightest hug possible.

Alex kept one hand on Aaron’s back and the other on Spencer’s arm, trying to make sure that both of them were okay. She let Aaron cry quietly for a while, until she could feel his shaking start to subside.

At long last Aaron set Spencer carefully down on his feet. “Sorry,” he said, his eyes downcast and his face red and puffy from crying.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” she said. She squeezed his arm. “Do you feel a little better?”

He nodded, wiping at his eyes. “I’m…I’m going to go wash my face,” he said. “You’re not going to tell the others about-“

“Not a word to anyone about anything,” she promised. She pulled him into a gentle hug and kissed his cheek. “But come talk to me when you need me, okay, Bubba?”

He sort of smiled at her. “Okay,” he said, and he slipped out of the room.

Spencer wrapped his arms around Alex’s waist and leaned against her. “Is be okay?” he asked quietly.

She brushed his curls back and kissed the top of his head. “He will be, baby, he just needs a little time,” she said.

“I don’t get it,” Spencer said, snuggling his cheek against her hip.

“Don’t get what, baby?”

“Nobody wanted me either until I got here,” he said. “But I figured out that you guys wanted me. Why hasn’t Hotch figured it out yet?”

Alex sighed heavily. “I think you were still hoping you could find a family,” she said. “But I think Hotch gave up a long time ago, and he still needs more convincing that he has us.”

#au: patron saint of lost causes #anonymous #thanks for asking!!#caitlin writes things #patron saint: alex #patron saint: derek #patron saint: hotch #patron saint: Spencer #prompt fills #thesassprincess

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butterflyintochains · 4 months

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A Lion For An Orca (1)

Just a little social media au for my Elias/Joanna stuff, cannon to the main timeline. I'm kinda a novice at these, so go easy on me!

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@Joanna_Rose: Feeling like this right now.

liked by: @TessaKnight, @bboeser, and 50 others.

Replies:

@TessaKnight: Hey, bestie, pick up your phone, please. Been trying to call you for two hours now.

@bboeser: Anna, what does this mean? Are you okay?

@ChelseaCali: Hey, babe, Jon and I are worried about you, please answer your phone.

@NathanTheBoss: Anna, we're worried about you, talk to us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gang's All Here GC

Strecher: Anna, come on, talk to us. TheFlow: Tessa, you know her best, what's going on? MamaTessa: No idea, she's not answering calls or texts, I've tried. Snatcher: Joanna, come on, we know you're hearing us. Angel: Hey... BennyTheHutt: OMG, she finally responded!! HollyDon: Not the time, Ben. Okay, Anna, what's happened? We're your friends, it's okay. Angel: Promise not to tell anyone else? Scorevat: Of course we do. Angel: Okay, well, uhh... Brandon wasn't at his tryout thing for the Lions. TheFlow: Yeah? Where was he, then? Angel: Making out with some other girl, at our tree on UBC campus, the willow we chill out at. So, we're done, and I'm just... so tired. MamaTessa: Okay, darling, get yourself ready for bed, I'm on my way over. Angel: Okay, I'm gonna go dark, love you guys. Stretcher: Love you too, Anna. Get some rest.

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@BranTheLion: Cannot wait to join my childhood team as a pro next weekend! Tryouts are gonna be lit 💥

liked by: @bclions_official, @ChristianPat, and 60 others.

Replies:

@ChristianPat: So proud of my best friend, you're going places, bro! Can't wait to see your name on the Grey!

@bclions_official: Welcome aboard, Brandon! Nice name change too!

@troystecher: Go fuck yourself.

@bboeser: Amen to that bro. @BranTheLion: Why? What did I do? @tdemko30: You fucking know what you did, asshole. @BranTheLion: Aaand, blocked.

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@BCSportsUpdates: tweeted on 30th July 2018.

Looks like a mini beef is breaking out from the teams across the street from each other. BC Lions top prospect Brandon Carpenter was seen blocking young Canucks Troy Stecher, Brock Boeser, and Thatcher Demko on instagram. Relations between the teams have been historically friendly, so what's caused the change remains unknown. As yet, the Whitecaps are uninvolved.

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Gang's All Here GC

Angel: Boys... have either of you looked at twitter recently? Snatcher: Angel, don't get mad at us, okay? He's the one who fucked you off for someone else. Angel: I'm not mad at you, Thatch, but... I dunno, what if he comes for me? Scorevat: He won't, he knows fine fucking well we're right across the street from him. The Flow: Anyways, it's almost that time again, so, should we add the rookie to the gc? Stretcher: Yeah, Bo, would you do the honours? Scorevat: Once he's in town, I'll add Elias, yeah.

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@Joanna_Rose: One last group hike of the Grind with my favourite people before semester and training camp. Always nice to have a mental reset in nature before life gets chaotic again. Summer has been hectic, and depressing, but I think I'll be okay.

liked by: @TessaKnight, @bboeser, @troystecher, and 45 others.

Replies:

@bboeser: Always the best part of summer!

@tdemko30: Here's to this next season!! #GoCanucksGo

@ChelseaCali: Can't wait to get back north to you guys, good to see you're doing better, Anna.

@Joanna_Rose: Can't wait to see you and Jon again, Chels. I'm on my way, it'll take a while, but I'm getting there.

@troystecher: We gonna talk about how Ben and Marky took off and left us all behind?

@Joanna_Rose: Nope, not on my post we're not. Happy vibes only here. @troystecher: Okay, fine.

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@BranTheLion: How's your life going? Mine's great, thanks.

liked by: @ChristianPat, @Lottie_Love, and 25 others.

Replies:

@TessaKnight: Wow, the fucking audacity of this man. hope your blondie is worth it, asshole.

@Lions_and_Nucks: Wait, has Joanna died her hair blonde, isn't she a brunette?

@TessaKnight: Yes, she is, there's not been a blonde in her immediate family for something like three generations. Which, for someone from the literal Blackwood family, is easy to track. @LionsWags: OMG, really? @BelieveInBlue: Ugh, the lion, the witch, and the audacity of this bitch.

@Lottie_Love: Maybe lay off him, Theresa? Just an idea?

@TessaKnight: Maybe shut your bitch mouth up? Just an idea? Do you have any idea what your new man has done to my best friend?

@BranTheLion: Joanna, call off your best friend.

@Joanna_Rose: Nah, I'm enjoying the show too much. If you wanna talk instead of vaguing on insta, you know where I am. There's not too many nineteen year olds who live in manors, I'm not hard to find.

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@BCSportsUpdates: tweeted 12th september 2018.

We may have somewhat of an answer re. the beef between the Lions prospect, and the young Canucks. It seems as if Mr Carpenter dumped his girlfriend, Joanna Blackwood, for someone else over summer. A friend of the Canucks, Joanna is also of the province's most elite family. Not a girl you want to break the heart of certainly. 1/2

@BCSportsUpdates: tweeted 12th september 2018.

However, judging by her last instagram post, Joanna seems to be healing. Judging by his, he's made some risky enemies across the street. In other news, Elias Pettersson is now the new 1C for the Canucks! 2/2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@Joanna_Rose: Hey, friends, haven't touched my insta in forever. But, here I am. Everything you've read on social media about myself and Brandon is true. However, I'm doing a bachelor's in journalism, and want my privacy respected. But, all I'll say for now, is I loved Brandon when I was 16, it didn't take long for me to dream of our future together. But, he ruined it for us. I bear no hatred to him, but I must continue my life without him, as he will do without me. Forever is a big word, as I have learned the hard way.

comments are turned off.

#hockey rpf #elias pettersson x oc #canucks social media au

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ddontyyoukknow · 2 years

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have this crush right, and i just want to hang with him so that my brain can humanize him and i can be less obsessed with him. my crush on jo is pretty much gone my crush on amir has pretty much gone away and i really credit that to,,. i met him at a halloween party a week after teddy and i got married. i met him with his girlfriend and fuck you im not going to deny my feelings i told teddy i have a crush on him and actually not sexual its just that i love him and find him interesting i think hes precious and i want to be his best friend. he has a girlfriend and shes the coolest is an artist is so interesting to talk to i really just love them both but she was a person right? like a normal person. he wasn't he really enchanted me. i felt like he really spoke to me and understood me more than a normal person would. and what i mean by normal person is a person who is kind of cold and afraid of asking real questions. a normal person doesn't listen to me. i have a real bullshit o meter and i can feel when someone isnt really interested. now is it at all helpful to think like that? no. it makes conversing with people really hard if not impossible but wihtin my limitations he really spoke to me. i wanted to make sure i got his contact before i left but this man has zero social media. i did get his girlfriends ig. SIGH!! i tried inviting them both over the next day bc i missed him but they couldn't come so i was forced to look inward and try and make myself happy. i think it will just be a treat to be able to see him and have interesting conversation with him eventaully. hes great and i want to be friends with him forever. teddy and i were standing in the kitchen of this apartment and i saw him walk in adn i was like WOW ITS HARRY STYLES i m still convinced he is undercover Harry Styles. anyway i was immediatly drawn o him he looked so cool in his leather jacket. i just turned to him and idk something in me lit up and i smiled very uncharacteristically of me, and said hi?? i never do that?? and he obliged and him and teddy and i just started talking about where we were from and idk ther stuff like that then i lost him and we were able to catch up towards the end of the night. we were back in the kitchen and him and another group walked to the living room and i was like ok im FOLLOWING IMMEDIATLY and teddy followed and we eventually got to talking :) it was the nicest ever. then they gave us a ride home. we told them all about our wedding and legal proceedins with my daca and omg when i was about to get out of the car,, he stops me and says hey, Brenda i just wanted to tell you that when you were showing me your art i wanted to let you know that i think that your just put so much soul into the hair when you make it it stood out to me. and i was like O OK GREAT WELL IM OFFICAILLY ENCHANTED and he said it in his very slow and deliberate pace that just almost meditative to listen to him,, im enchanted im enchanted i believe there are cool people out there he has restored my faith in humanity.

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fluentisonus · 3 years

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this is mostly rambling but. i'm thinking about how I grew up with shakespeare comics, and how my parents would take us to shakespeare plays that our local theater was putting on in the summer and how before it would start we'd sit on our picnic blanket and they'd take out a little book of short prose versions of shakespeare stories and read us the one for the play we were about to see and we'd discuss it so we weren't confused about who was who, and then we'd watch the play and those years of reading the comics and the discussion I'd just had with my parents would come alive in front of my eyes and it was the most wonderful magical thing. and then how I'd go into english class and we'd read those same plays and I could get really into the language and themes and literary analysis because the stories were so ingrained into my heart at that point it came naturally...... and then i'm also thinking about all the poor kids who had to walk into that same class and start reading those plays having never touched shakespeare, or gotten a feel for the plots and language, or had any sort of fondness for it, and how absolutely miserable a lot of them were with reading it, and how little it made sense to them, and idk.

I don't think we should stop teaching shakespeare or other literature either, but I wish people were allowed a more like. natural way of coming to it I guess. I think a lot about how in ancient rome so many of the stories told in literature are rooted in stories that the whole populus would have grown up hearing, in smaller and more simplified versions, over and over again as part of a broader cultural mythos, and so when (if) they read that literature discussing or transforming it it came naturally to them. and obviously the modern day isn't at all the same and modern literature isn't the same but I do think a lot of shakespeare stories are so dear to my heart partially because I got to hear and read and see them told gradually, and grew with them.

and this isn't to say anything like 'oh if only the Youths knew more Great Literature' because I think there's actually a lot of value in questioning how much importance we put on this sort of literature in general, and you it's not like you can make young children be familiar with All Literature Ever even if they wanted to. and likewise there are always going to be completely unfamiliar books we read in a literature class and have a !!!! moment about, so idk really what I'm getting at here; except that I really wish there was a better understanding of reading and literature and stories as like. a whole gradient that involves a huge range of types of consumption & discussion, and how crucial the element of human exchange can be in that, because literature is so much about human interchange, and how environments that cut all of that out can be so hostile to a real understanding of the work. idk

#I just woke up so idk if this makes much sense alkfjkdjfhskdfgh #thoughts #long post #also I don't want this to come across as all 'oh look at me I'm so well read I knew shakespeare as a kid and they didn't' because #there was a lot of lit that we read that I was in the same boat as them and hated reading it. just that I think that interacting with it #the same way I had growing up with shakespeare would have made me get so much more out of it than I did at the time #also I think the criticism of the sort of performative-reading-without-really-reading you get on social media is def a real thing #but it is SO nice to be able to read something and then come on here and talk about it and have other people respond and debate it #it can flesh out the ideas and thoughts and the reading itself so much and there's so many people to find to do this with #(as long as you're careful ofc bc there's a lot of misreading to haha)#and this is true irl obviously but there's not always the opportunity or situation to do so #so in that sense I think the internet if you're careful about it can really foster this sort of environment and I love that about it #anyways. sorry for the wall of text slkdhfjskdfh

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sugar-petals · 3 years

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german national team intro masterpost

since these utter buffoons officially qualified for the world cup (let’s do this ⚽️) it’s about time i rec you our football dudes, here are some key clowns i mean essential players to watch for 🇩🇪👋

first, have one of our hot weirdos with his puppy to bait you

if that interests you maybe nice thighs and arms will as well

that being said we’re good to go

so who are these shapely men in black then

the german football team 2021 — coached by our nation’s tiny football dad hansi flick

can you spot him, hint hint... he’s surrounded by a bunch of drama divos

⬇️

hansi is very important as he recently joined for a new era, not just because’s he’s walking all these attractive models around to drop our jaws but um i mean

anyway i digress, more about father hansi in a minute.

for overview purposes have a cheesy overedited pic of everyone who is currently kicking the ball around for us, not 100% up to date (edit: some changes for 2022 apply) but you get a good idea

(”kader” translates to “our squad” basically)

but to us they are family, football is a big ole deal in germany

we all lose our marbles over the games (picture: pre-covid public viewing) and i’m about to explain you why our sexy football husbands are kicking up such a storm

welcome to our world. send in the clowns

now you have to understand there’s no such thing as rational german composure you’ve been lied to

our chancellor & president are always the most feral people in the stadium VIP lounge and intricately color-coordinated with the team and/or flag. everyone else (except maybe italy) is just watching football. we are living it

even the introverts show up when the whistle goes, we’ve had retiring strikers do goal somersaults oh my god things can get 11,000% lit

as of now our 2021 men have the right skills the right lewks the rainbow agenda and finally the right coach to turn the party back up again after the drought

so it’s an honor my comrades let’s get cooking

traditionally we play in black (away games) and white kits (home games) with four stars on the tiddies, and a surprisingly decent grey or blue for training — sweater paws included so everyone looks very cute and lovely

i especially love the crisp white design, look at these handsome lawn runway stars

our guys are very hard to miss they’re so notoriously dashing ugh the prettiness of them

our ginormous captain has to wear much-commented-on shades of neon since he’s the goal keeper and we want to bamboozle the eyes of our enemies with the colors of the rainbow but the same goes for him

... four stars since we won the world cup in 1954, 1974, 1990 and 2014

(translation if you have no clue about football history: we’re quite decently competent, the team can always be reckoned with, only brazil has one more star and we famously beat them 7:1 at their own world cup)

2014 was the last wc win with our golden generation and 90% of our favorite but slightly embarrassing granddads retired since

nowadays our mischievous pretty boys are 25 on average and we’re in the advanced construction phase to prep for the world cup next year which means we are cuter, sassier, more frustrated, and the eyebrows are immaculate

in germany our dear eyebrow team is called “Deutsche Nationalmannschaft” (oof) as an official tongue twister but in english we gladly say germany nt for short and that’s the tumblr tag you find the fandom in

...where we provide you with spiritually fulfilling content like this

it’s not an astronomically large fandom but there are blogs that update super often bc so much stuff (= our captain’s antics) can be talked about, during big tournaments this horny mob suddenly explodes, germany nt twitter is also alive and memeing. it’s no surprise, our drama club regularly delivers viral pictures that look like a rennaissance painting

lmao perfect

and ps: don’t worry about any lengthy german names etc — most of our national circus clowns have a short nickname it’s tradition, and a lot of their social media also have an international version or insta english captions, and the football fandom also posts in english

so why don’t we check them out with some short intro trash talk bits

what better way to get to know them than some gossip, we got that judge fest energy

i can’t cover all of them so we’re going with 11 crucial clowns i know a thing or two about, who i can both praise and slander with confidence, followed by honorable mentions, plus of course model scout hansi

INTRODUCING THE SQUAD

basics first, the only normal person in there: our highly anticipated team miracle manager and already former co-coach hans flick (56), stoic but touchy football father who should have gotten this job like. years ago cuz the buffoonery escalated at the last tournaments. you missed nothing, i guarantee this thread found you at the right time. hansi hands out hugs and quality head pats for all the bottoms so i truly respect him, since he signed up we did nothing but win which hasn’t happened in 84 years so bless the man. specializes in comforting babies, of course he’s a pisces, kinda incognito as 50% of our players are like 7′5+ glam towers but he looks like the suffering meme guy in younger so that’s how you know it’s hansi

lgbt stands for love goalkeepers because tall: veteran human wall and nature hiking hoe manuel neuer (35), our rainbow team leader, has both nerves and green-clad booty buns of steel, living legend in germany, everybody stans him he’s famous famous, get ready for his ‘alternative’ aka straight up reckless methods despite pushing 40, this mf is anywhere but standing in his goal, most untrustworthy maniac i know but he walks with his chest pushed out plus he ruins christiano ronaldo’s penalties so he’s allowed 💚, can throw the ball as wide as he wants and where he wants, brilliant & bonkers in equal measures, aggressive ballerino playboy, we always wanna brag that we play fair but when manu clobbers another winger with his flying stunts we revoke our statement, he’s every striker’s worst nightmare, saves our ass 98% of the time but at what cost, dangerous bombshell blonde and thoroughly insane with cringy college humor, you’ve been warned, most objectified man in german history, he rolls with it and makes us sweat even more because he’s so cocky, all of football tumblr talks about how he layers and customizes his clothing because he’s so buff, our entire nation would risk it all to protect the holy fists and arms, dude can play in every position he’s nuts, our number one since years, but his name ironically translates to “neuer = the new one” in german so we always make puns with that, causes memes and a stir everywhere

(...he’s ridiculous i hate him)

head corner kick clown in charge with the mouth catching flies: wild & tiny midfield einstein joshua kimmich (26) who wouldn’t stop yelling even if the pope god and the queen were present, when manu isn’t playing he’s the captain, kimmy boy is a high IQ twink that’s why, collects all the guys you crush on with his mustache so prepare, gives 300% bc why not, piercing eyes with small pupils, great ass great hair great legs great everything, has an extremely perfect face, this brat is hot shit, and holy moly work ethic, a breakup is peanuts compared to seeing kimmich weep for minutes about getting an injury or losing a tournament, he’s irreplaceable, “last time kimmich lost a ball? when he gave it to his son when they played in the garden”, josi believe it or not is a father of two yet he’s the one looking like a kid, reliable and out of his mind at the same time how does he do it, collapses if he doesn’t get extremely tight embraces from everybody, zesty life of the party, very expressive and whiny whirlwind to say the least, if you don’t know how to spot jo just look for the firecracker i mean look at him are his lungs ok, shakespeare has nothing on kimmich

and those pupils... ⬇️⬇️ holy mother of manuel neuer look at that

ok enough about the unhinged blondies, here comes the distinguished chill dude with the stirring pot goal celebration: our even tinier sweetheart serge gnabry (26) who goes by sergio when he feels like it, if i remember it correctly his aunt lovingly calls him that (awe), doing some great stuff on the wings, we stan quality, he’s a class act, same with his outfits, very couture very polished, very poker face brand of cutting swabian humor (swabia + bavaria = the southern counties in germany), if you cross him there’s a scathing jab reserved just for you, defends all of his best friends like no other, the master chef has some sick burns waiting in his oven, other than that he’s introverted and does his own thing, he even has decent goalkeeping skills, yeah he’s that bitch honestly, and everyone hypes him, his fellow but much taller players always lift him up a little too enthusiastically when he scores a goal and serge almost dies every time because his massive butt i mean center of gravity tips him over, here we can see on-site footage of jo kimmich saving gnabry’s dear life

now tumblr’s favorite: terrifyingly buff and resident balding BDE man leon goretzka (26) who straight people lose it over like the world’s about to end, like how many spiralling stans does he have, they want a piece of him man they’re out for his curls, meanwhile leon’s good at his job i guess, extremely politically active too, has a signature frown which makes the hets sexualize his mysterious wrath, we get it you want to be topped just get out, generates conversation so you’ll never run out of content if you stan this dude, his whole personality consists of becoming more and more beefy but his redeeming quality is being diehard friends with the previously mentioned josi kimmich, these two lunatics make the football world go round, everybody talks about this duo, they donated 1 million for covid relief so that’s nice, in their free time they serve 20cm height difference cuteness and judge everyone together like the two aquarius trainwrecks they are, sometimes sergio joins, they just beam, but they also cause a lot of crackheadery, every minute leon gets even more ripped how does he do that

(^...he can’t be serious)

our human radio on two legs: good ole chatty southern man, 2014 world cup winner, another curly head, great large curls in fact, staple court jester, bs-dispelling troll and skinny legend thomas müller (32) who you’ll probably pronounce and write as muller and that’s ok, our team dearly needs this comedian and we dread his retirement since he’s from the golden gen, directs the midfield masterfully and off the field notoriously cracks every uncle joke you can think of, lmao nobody’s safe from his imitations and puns, once kimmich grows up he’s gonna be like thomas these two are so similar, if someone says germans aren’t funny direct them to this crazed bavarian card player crack, in any case he’s a must-know and underappreciated legend, his whole personality is all rustic, he likes horses, one of the few guys not dating some influencer but married since 2009, roasts the press as a hobby and trolls arrogant players, he’s a keeper, he’s the MVP, the meme machine, mü is the best. he’d so deserve the world cup next year i really hope we can make it happen

that one scary viking guy: broad meme irl niklas süle (26) who is our token immovable object and tattoo jock regularly leaving the defense to play as an attacker and he’s pretty good at it, constantly improves, he’s from frankfurt which is where germany grows our skyscrapers so of course he’s 6′5, fans have baptized him with the honorable nickname of sülinho so the commentators regularly mess up and announce him like that in formal settings lmao, well then if you like a rough around the edges cryptid nikki is your dude, he looks very collected and intimidating which is great because nobody dares to come close to our goal, this dude weighs 100 kilograms or 220lbs, you can spot this mountain easily he’s like taller like the rock just without the eyebrows

and now! cheekbones guy who scored THE champion’s league winning goal: hobby farmer and pianist kai havertz (22) who seems like he’s brooding existential questions all day but actually thinks about donkeys and dogs, chelsea paid a 100 (!!!!!) million to get this spaghetti frame, impossibly chill in front of the goal, has a notoriously cold neck & hands let me knit a scarf and gloves, very taut angular face so he gets called everything from emo habsburg heir to lizard prince, bisexuals + modelling agencies love kai so he’s approved, one arresting gen z masterpiece, unhappy without his blonde emotional support bff julian brandt who is currently not nominated for the nt so expect grumpy havertz, topples over often and struggles currently so i worry a lot, looks p harcore and plays the english way but his personality is cutesy without a single braincell, talks like he’s high 365, does this silly grin where his cheeks are like fish gills so i call him koi havertz, squints seductively to be the most f-able guy on the field, look at this expensive bitch it’s working

👇and that’s mr. julian (25), seated, also plays in the midfield, he’s angelic i love this dude. also ‘never two beautiful best friends’ is a hoax as we can clearly see, the hoodie sex appeal is pretty banging right here

more english-inspired style, our undercover goal jesus who could need a little hand from above every now and then please: resurrected chaos striker timo werner (25) whose streak of milennial pain and slander-laden misfortune always haunts him for months until one game where suddenly he explodes with skills and luck like ketchup from the bottle, understandably desperate and emotional man who you feel everything with, great at one-on-one with opponents but usually too fast to escape offside, that’s why his undercuts look so sleek, yeah that’s how you recognize him tbh he’s timo with the good hair, they see him rolling, they hating, at chelsea he’s playing with kai as forwards so you often see them hanging out flaunting their p(r)etty priviledge, in any case let’s hope for the best, you can see the pain in his eyes gee

his name is complicated and has a dutch ancestry flair to it: our second goalkeeper and guardian angel marc-andré ter stegen (29), we all call him just ter stegen and basically never marc-andré like ter is his first name it’s tradtion, anyway he’s top notch, usually has nothing to do in the national team since our manuel’s aggressive ballerino booty can fly in all directions and catches balls from space but marc is a given and a goalie god at fc barcelona, so stop hating on him he’s great, germany is the nation of goalkeepers with good reason and he is no exception. pretty normal and likable bloke so less clown mode to be expected — usually, nobody’s truly in their right mind in this ass parade, i think marc’s insanity manifests in the fact that he does his saves like superman so this guy is a bit ridiculous as well, in any case he’s an absolute luxury to have as our backup, i love ter stegen, he’s superb, did i mention that i love ter stegen?

dc has flash but we have: lightning fast wing tech deity leroy sané (25) who already has several kids at home and all the clubs fight for him, oh boy he’s truly in demand, can’t be blamed he’s our most beautiful player: looks-wise, playing-wise, recently bounced back from a nasty mental block with the help of hansi, does extraterrestrial things with his pretty feet, v pleasant to listen to his voice is so deep, signature laugh, always somewhere giggling and snuggling w/ manu and especially his bestie sergio, cutest bunch, sané sounds like whipped cream (”sahne”) in german so we say he’s “allererste sahne” meaning creme de la creme so that sums him up, leroy is trained by pep guardiola in england, bag of tricks kinda guy, very tongue in cheek/teasing but he’s also a slutty capricorn, truly a combination of opposites, a talent and sight to behold, he gets several pictures because he’s leroy and my crush

and last but not least, basically a child: nobody calls him jamal musiala (18) anymore because bambi is the best ever nickname for him, german football lore has it that it was leroy who invented it out of nowhere, the rest is history, bambi has the looks and playing style of a deer plus some remarkable talent but prepare to suffer if you stan him the child protection agenda has him sitting on the bench often as of yet, nevertheless he is our future and he’s really popular, we all baby him, his skills and sudden goals are truly shocking he’s born 2003 like what do we do with this toddler?! in any case everyone adores bambi and he is in — as we saw — crazy, but good hands so fingers crossed, you spot him by the way he pulls his brows up and looks v small despite being 6′0, don’t underestimate him he’s always ready to go off on that goal

- honorable mentions, including some golden gen players:

antonio rüdiger (28) - also from the chelsea squad, very tall, defends, used to play with a mask due to injury, toni nibbles at our opponents’ backs to catch them off guard i’m not joking

mats hummels (32) - tumblr famous to unhealthy degrees, it needs to stop, currently on break, caught between our golden gen and eyebrow twink era, gets called D**F a lot but we don’t use that weird word here, defends, king of own goals, nice black hair though

toni kroos (31) - retired this year which i’m sad about, skillful real madrid midfielder who looks a little exhausted, infamously no-nonsense in interviews, badass with his tats, 2014 world cup winner, i miss toni </3

robin gosens (27) - new on the scene, from zero to hero, made a good impression at the last euros, very honest soul, now injured, he looks like the younger brother of the guy next on this list

lukas podolski (36) - poldi, was a sunshine himbo before it was cool, legendary retired winger, luke is cute and funny and confused he’s a national treasure, proof that geminis can be adorable, golden retriever

bastian schweinsteiger (37) - retired captain and silverback, basti is now pundit, made a huge impact back in the day, best friends ever with poldi they made legendary meme adverts for crisps together

miroslav klose (43) - the somersault guy, man he was the best striker ever, also retired a while ago i miss him tremendously, very stern but humble and a good man, miro is also a world cup winner, paved the way

philipp lahm (37) - another retired captain from the golden generation, several defensive positions, infamously smol and very talented, bffs with big manu, brainiac short king, we owe him everything

BONUS: robert lewandowsi (33) - he’s not german, he’s not in our team, he can’t join us since he already plays elsewhere (for poland nt), but our whole nation acts like he can because we want him as our striker lmao! get off tiktok lewy we need you

(the four stars are from the munich club jersey which is unrelated to the national team, we like him since he plays there and is extremely successful, a lot of our national players are sent from munich it’s the talent factory, check them out for further germany nt research if u want, the club is legendary)

and that’s it thank you for sticking with me here i hope you adopted some new ridiculous boyfriends and gained sexy insights about germany

as you saw we have pretty boys ranging from XXL to XXS so the buffet is open we have something for everybody

collect yours and tune in for more november world cup quali games 2021 and the tournament next summer where we will spread more rainbow buffoonery than ever and smize the competition to the ground

totally official predictions:

during semi finals, serge gnabry will evaporate christiano ronaldo in his cooking pan, then bounce the ball into the goal with his big booty: instant man of the match

hansi flick will chant a magic spell and timo werner scores 15 times

thomas müller’s horses will eat france, italy, and whatever other team is good

kimmich distracts messi by hitting the high c

manuel will end england in a penalty shootout wearing a torn neon pink camoflage jersey

when we play against poland, lewy will cause an own goal so he can finally be our striker in spirit 😔✊

leroy sané will look very hot

leon goretzka debuts a tenpack

kai havertz will credit his dogs and donkeys for his success after scoring the overly dramatic winning goal in the final with those long noodly legs <3

it will either be clownishly tragic or eyebrowly glorious but in any case it’s good fun and you get to see some pretty people running from left to right and vice versa ⭐️ (and memes are pretty much guaranteed no matter what happens)

for those who are already in the fandom and want to add their own husbands or some more sexy stats to this or if something needs correction go right ahead let’s go and thank you for reading + reblogging

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wistfulrat · 3 years

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it’s the katie leung john boyega kelly marie tran [insert other poc here] experience of somehow being at the center of white media and getting none of the supposed satisfaction bc at the end of the day, you’re not meant to be in those spaces. you’re just meant to be props for white escapism. and if you think transformative spaces like fanfic communities are immune to that exact method of silencing poc, you’re not paying attention.

every day i think about hp and other globally popular western media as conduits for cultural colonialism and the prevalence of whiteness in fandom and the america-centric internet and the inaccessibility of escapism when most fantasy is just another word for euro/western/anglo dreamscapes.

this is the context of what you’re responding to. most of the time being a fan is fun and harmless and i think 99% of people here have good intentions so this post isn’t even targeted at anyone specific and more just the culture itself. bc god, fandom is so very white. i love it here but when u come across posts comparing targeted cyber bullying to the witch burnings of actual indigenous people and the impacts of colonialism that killed off thousands upon thousands of us before imperialists ever reached salem. when u come across discourse that says fandom is an inherently inclusive space because women and lgbtq+ communities built it and yet, it only takes being here for a couple months to be reminded that when they mean inclusive, they mean white. when the attempt at solidarity is tainted by minimizing non-white oppression in progressive spaces. it’s exhausting.

im not a book burner, i like ao3, i read the brit lit canon. i like hp for what it is—a british children’s series about magic, war, found fam, etc. but these are colonial texts and holy fuck the compulsory whiteness of it all. and the way we never enjoy things in a vacuum bc the rest of the world outside western nations were explicitly forced to elevate white aesthetics since the dawn of imperialism. you think subcultures aren’t affected by that? ao3 is growing rapidly as fannish works move closer to mainstream. and yes, i know that this is explicitly because marginalized people have worked hard to fight for freedom of thought/speech/creativity. i am not interested in policing that space because the net positive outweighs the shit bits in my perspective.

but it’s the way the slightest hint of criticism against popular media and the fan works created for it is silenced with a swift “let people enjoy things” when the Thing that is being perpetuated and enjoyed is the very center of white media and white fantasy and white imagination and even white queerness. people will rally against a resurgence of harmful purity culture (as they should) but in the same breath, talk about that as if it’s akin to systematic genocide against non-white people groups. i don’t understand the need to conflate those experiences when the danger you face online as a white woman is still inherently protected by your whiteness. and like yes, marginalized people have made a home out of fic spaces. yes, your fear of that space being taken away is completely valid. but this is still a predominantly white community. and white grief is always, always the priority. that is a safety that you can count on because no social class can match that power of being at the center of culture creating.

so it’s just exhausting as poc in fandom, when you see how non-white creators and fans are treated, and always having to be the nicest, sweetest, most docile version of ourselves because we’re constantly being painted as toxic bullies with an inability to relax/unclench around problematic art. like you all wonder why fandom remains a predominately white space. it’s just wildly uncomfortable being here when you want to enjoy women and lgbtq+ art and transgressive works in general but knowing that support is just not reciprocated.

edit: i wrote a better/more thorough follow up post to talk about good faith discussions vs. shipping wars, colonialism, unhelpful anti/pro discourse, and the role of cultural criticism in transformative spaces if any of you are interested

#sometimes fandom is cool and other times it is just whiteness remixed so #anyway if u critically enjoy things this doesn’t apply to you i’m just exhausted #but um yeah #can non-white hp fans hop in my inbox bc i feel insane #txt

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dream-a-little-bigger-x · 3 years

Text

Curiosity Killed The Cat | Owen Patrick Joyner

Requested: Yes/No

Hi! I was wondering if you can do an Owen imagine kinda based off his Instagram story of him finding a cat. I was thinking he’d actually find the missing cat though and come ring your doorbell at 4am bc he’s chaotic. You can decide everything. Thank you in advance!!!

A/N: The cat doesn’t actually die in this, it’s just a saying that i liked for the title, so don’t worry! It’s got a happy ending!

Pairing: Owen x Fem!Reader

Song(s) used: none

Warnings: none

Words: 3,949

A week. It had been exactly one week since y/n last saw her cat, Tunabean. The white, grey striped Ragamuffin cat had been absent from y/n’s apartment for way longer than she normally would be and it worried y/n to the point where she’d be out looking for the little rascal every night after work.

“Found her yet?” Jamila asked as she entered y/n’s apartment after coming home from work.

Jamila was y/n’s roommate and best friend since college. The two had lived together through their college career and decided to be roommates after too, as long as neither had significant others to go live with.

“No,” y/n’s lip stuck out into a pout as she feverishly reposted the message on all her social media platforms. “People have been tearing down my posters as well. Did you see the ones near Andrews Park? They were torn to shreds!”

Jamila pulled her lips into a tight smile before putting her bags on the dining room table and joining y/n on the couch. “Yeah, I saw. I’m really sorry, y/n. If you want, we can go and put up some more posters? Exchange the torn up ones with some fresh ones?”

“You’d do that for me?”

“Of course! Sweetie, I’d do anything to get little Bean home, you know that, right?” y/n nodded her head in response, though she wasn’t sure if she knew that.

Jamila wasn’t the biggest fan of Tunabean at first. She hated cats. Growing up, she’d always had a dog but never a cat. She didn’t trust the little rascals for one second. So, when y/n showed up with little Tunabean after having had what felt like the worst week of her life, Jamila was a tiny bit angry. But eventually warmed up to Tunabean when the little kitty seemed so placid, you could easily cuddle up to it on the sofa.

“Let’s go find Zach at his work, bribe him to print me more posters for cheap, hang ‘em up around town and then maybe Tino’s?” Jamila’s eyes lit up at the mention of her favorite restaurant.

She snapped her fingers and pointed finger guns at her best friend. “Sounds like a plan!” she said and wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck. It was a cold November day and no person could leave their house consciously without being bundled up into layers and layers of clothing.

“I hope Bean didn’t hide under a car and the owner didn’t tap the hood before getting in…” y/n muttered, her voice thick with worry, as they exited the apartment building and stepped into the blistering cold.

“I’m sure she just found a few boyfriends and is spending her time with them,” Jamila tried to reassure her, but knew all-too-well that Tunabean wouldn’t stay away this long, even if she had a lover cat to make little kittens with. She loved Jamila and y/n’s home too much.

“Are you slut shaming my cat right now?”

“Our cat,” Jamila corrected, causing a smile to find its way to y/n’s face, “And no, I am not. I’m just trying to be optimistic here, y/n.” Jamila tucked her cold hands into the pockets of her tan peacoat. “I’m sure Tunabean is alright.”

“What if she isn’t though? What if she’s like meowing somewhere in the middle of Norman and no one to hear her pleas?” Jamila rolled her eyes at how dramatic her best friend was being.

“Norman ain’t that big, sweetie. I’m sure if she’s meowing somewhere, we would’ve heard her already.”

“Exactly! Which means she’s either dead or god knows anywhere! She could be in Oklahoma City! We don’t know that!” y/n exclaimed loudly, using excessive hand gestures more so to keep herself warm than emphasis.

Jamila stopped in her tracks and grabbed y/n by the shoulders, stopping her too. “Stop being such a drama queen, y/n! I’m sure Tunabean is fine. Maybe she’s on an adventure or making new friends, you don’t know that!”

“You don’t care about our child, admit it,” y/n muttered. This rendered Jamila silent. “Admit you don’t care about our child, Jam!” Passer-byers shot them a weirded out glare, which Jamila sent right back.

“Oh, please! Don’t pretend there are no lesbian families in Norman too!” she yelled at them. The comical side of the whole situation made y/n laugh a tiny bit. “There’s that smile I like to see.” Jamila softly touched y/n’s chin with her knuckle before grabbing the girl’s hand in hers. The warmth of Jamila’s hand radiating through to y/n’s made her feel all toasty. “Let’s go print some posters!”

The girls reached a one-storey building with red decrepit letters stuck to the roof.

HOOPER PRINTING CO.

As y/n opened the glass door and held it for Jamila to walk in, the smell of ink reached her nostrils. Though not a very traditional scent to love, it reminded y/n of one of her best friends. It was like her brain just knew that the muscles in her cheeks would soon start to hurt thanks to Zachary. A boy the girls had met in college as Xana.

Jamila spotted the bleached blonde mop of hair immediately and signaled to y/n to sneak up to him. On their tippy toes, the two approached the tall slender man, and when they were close enough, they took in a deep breath and-- “Don’t even think about it,” Zach mumbled without even looking at them.

Jamila and y/n glanced at each other, cheeks puffed out from the breath they were holding. “How’d you--?” y/n didn’t even finish her sentence as she looked past Zach and her eyes landed on a tiny tv screen. Cameras, of course.

“Since when do you have security cameras?” y/n asked as she hopped onto the counter Zach was sorting invoices on.

He shrugged, “Sometime this week, I think.” His bright blue eyes met y/n’s as she sheepishly looked at him while kicking her legs. The boy sighed exasperated, knowing all too well what the girls are here for. “No. Not again.”

“Please, Zachy! Tunabean is still missing and her posters have been ripped down!” Her eyes teared up at the thought of her kitty being out there all by herself in Norman. All she could hope was that the creepy dudes from Doyle’s didn’t get their filthy paws on her little princess.

“Come on, Zach. You love that cat too!” Jamila chimed in, crossing her arms across her chest and glaring at him knowingly.

“Fine, come here,” he reached out his hand and y/n handed him the thumb drive on which she kept her self-made posters. “You’re gonna have to buy me Tino’s though.”

“We were going there afterwards, if you wanna join?” y/n’s voice was teasing and sly.

“I’m off at five,” he simply stated before pressing a few buttons on his desktop and waking up the printer closest to them. “How long has she been gone for?” he then asked after a few beats of silence. Y/N dropped her head and stared at her still moving legs for a moment.

“About a week,” she replied.

Zach pulled his lips into a tight smile. He reached his hand out and placed it gently on top of hers. “She’ll come back.”

“How can you be so sure? She might be hurt somewhere or dead and I won’t even know. I won’t even be able to say goodbye to her.” Tears pooled in y/n’s eyes as she thought of the sweet little kitten she had found in a ‘take one for free’ box on a curb one day. She was the last one left.

“I’m not sure, y/n. But I’d like to be optimistic. Besides, Tunabean is resilient and the most independent kitty I’ve ever known. She’ll survive. She’s probably out adventuring with some friends.”

Though the words weren’t very reassuring and y/n knew she had every right to be worried, they did calm her down a little. Tunabean was resilient and extremely independent. She’ll find her way back home.

“I’ll see you guys later, bye!” Owen waved at his friends as he stepped into the cold November night. It was 4 am and he was just returning home from a day spent with friends. He had fallen asleep during the movie, only waking up in the middle of the night, realizing his parents were probably worrying about him, seeing he’d told them he’d be home by midnight at the latest.

He softly hummed along to the song that was playing in his head as he walked down West Main Street, his hands tucked deep into his pockets to try and keep them warm. He should’ve brought a thicker coat or a thicker jumper.

“Ah, mister Joyner!” a familiar voice with a thick accent made him shake out of his train of thought about the cold. The friendly face of the robust Italian greeted him in the dim light of the restaurant behind him.

“Still working, Tino?” Owen asked as he stopped in his tracks to talk to the man everyone in Norman, Oklahoma loved.

“Already back at work, ragazzino!” he replied in his thick Italian accent. Owen always thought it was fake and just for show to lure clients, so that they knew he was a pure Italian man, sharing his love for the Italian cuisine in his restaurant.

“At four in the morning?!” Owen exclaimed, stunned at the man’s determination for his job.

“Deliveries don’t wait, signore.” His laugh boomed into the empty, dark streets of Norman. Owen couldn’t help but let out a laugh too while his eyes averted and landed on a poster in the window. A black-and-white picture of a small cat stared back at him.

MISSING: TUNABEAN

Grey-and-white striped ragamuffin cat, listens to the name Tunabean.

“She’s been missing for a week, the poor girl who owns her is worried sick,” Tino told Owen when he noticed what he was looking at. The blond twenty-year-old pressed his lips together. He only ever had a dog that had never run away, but he could imagine what it would be like to not know where your pet is. He would totally lose it if Bindi ever went missing.

“I feel sorry for her,” Owen said, unsure of anything else to say.

“Yeah, me too,” said Tino. “Keep an eye out for Tunabean, yeah?”

“I will.”

And with that, Owen continued his walk back home. The cat on the poster kept haunting his mind. Those big eyes were something he wouldn’t forget anytime soon. Thanks to said image plastered in his brain, he even started hearing meowing when he got to Andrews Park. It was a soft, fragile meow that had to echo through his brain for a few seconds before he realized it actually came from the bushes he was walking past as he passed through Andrews Park.

Curiously, and kind of feverishly, Owen started to dig into the shrubbery until he found a tiny cat. “Oh, don’t worry, little one. I got you.” He said as he carefully detangled it from the branches. As he held it up to his face, he found the big, round eyes from the poster staring back at him in real life. “Tunabean?” he cooed, and the cat tilted its head ever so slightly.

He stroked the cat’s head and scratched behind her ear before pulling it closer into his chest. She was shivering, but Owen wasn’t sure if it was from the cold or the fear. If she’d been missing for a week, God knows how long she must’ve been stuck in there.

“You hurt, little one?” he mumbled to it as he absentmindedly made his way to the one person he knew could help.

“Owen,” Emmy groaned when she’d opened the door to find him standing on the curb with a pout on his face. “It’s four in the morning, I have to be up in an hour for work.”

“That’s why I’m here,” he said and showed her the cat he had tucked in his jacket to keep it warm. “I found her in the bushes near Andrews Park. Can you check if she’s okay?” Emmy’s eyes darted from the cat to Owen and back. “Please, Emmy? You’re the only one I know could help her out.”

“Come on in,” she sighed, clearly disgruntled at the early wakeup call. But she couldn’t say no to a little kitty in need. She’d been rescuing animals since she was a little girl, she wasn’t going to leave this one in the dust.

Owen placed the cat on the table as it meowed and nudged Owen’s hand with her head. “It’s okay, Tunabean, Emmy here is gonna make sure you’re okay.”

“Tunabean?” Emmy asked as she put on latex gloves.

“Yeah, I think it’s the cat from the missing posters you see all around town?”

Emmy gingerly took the cat in her gloved hands and started her check-up. “Ah, yes! My brother and his buddies took some of them down, thinking they were ‘rebellious’.” She rolled her eyes. “You gonna bring her back?”

“Of course, Tino said the owner was worried sick about her.”

Emmy smiled at this. Owen had always been the compassionate one in their friend group. He’d only act upon things if he was sure it wouldn’t hurt anyone else. Though, sometimes that compassion vanished when they were with their friends and he got a ‘brilliant’ idea, which was most likely kind of dangerous.

“Oh, look,” Emmy whispered as she showed Tunabean’s paw. There was a thorn stuck in the little pad. “Poor thing! Hold her for a second, please? I’m gonna get my tweezers to get it out.” Owen placed a hand on the cat’s stomach, his fingers lightly scratching at the white fur.

Emmy returned with everything she needed, and within a few seconds, Tunabean was freed from the thorn in her paw and back on her feet. She suddenly seemed a lot more peppy than she was before.

“Let’s get you home, yeah?” Owen said as he scooped the kitten back up into his arms, holding it close to his chest. Emmy took her gloves off and scratched the cat’s head.

“Goodbye, Tunabean,” she cooed, earning licks from her rough little tongue. “Ooh, I think I got the girl’s address here somewhere. Tunabean is Anna’s client and we’ve got them in the system.”

As quickly as she’d said it, she’d handed the address over to Owen. After thanking her profusely, Owen went on his way with the cat tucked safely in his jacket for warmth.

He was nervous as it was already five in the morning and the woman most definitely was still asleep. But he didn’t want to keep her in even more suspense and worry about her cat as she already was.

“Hello?” a sleepy voice sounded through the intercom.

“Hi, I’m Owen, I think I got your cat, Tunabean?”

A silence fell, only Tunabean’s sleepy snoring disrupting the peace and quiet of the night. The poor girl had fallen asleep in Owen’s arms. He almost felt sad he had to give her away again.

It took a good minute before the door to the apartment building opened up and a girl in red flannel pj’s opened the door. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun with big strands falling out of it. Though she’d probably rather not be seen like this out in public, Owen thought she looked breathtaking, even in the dim light from the hallway of her corridor and the street lights.

“You really got Tunabean?” she asked as she held onto the door, squishing herself in the small opening she’d granted herself. Owen opened his jacket and carefully showed her the cat who’d woken up from her slumber. “Tunabean!” the girl exclaimed and grabbed the grey pet from the boy’s hands. Their fingers brushed ever so slightly, and though y/n was too busy with her cat, Owen felt it. He felt the spark.

“I would invite you inside for a drink to thank you, but my roommate is still asleep and I don’t want to wake her.” Owen held up his hand, a smile tugging at his lips as he shook his head.

“That’s okay. I don’t need a reward. I’m just glad I could reunite the two of you again,” he said, smiling at the girl and her cat. “Oh! She did have a thorn in her paw though, but my friend is a vet and I took her to her for a check-up before I came here.”

“Aw, poor Bean,” she scratched the cat’s head before turning back to the blonde boy. “Thank you. That’s very considerate of you.” He tipped his head forward, the smile still persistent on his lips.

“Glad I could help,” he repeated, jamming his hands into the pockets of his jacket again. “I’m gonna go though. I’m sure you’d rather go back to sleep right now than talk to a complete stranger on your doorstep.”

“Oh, uhm, okay… Goodbye then? And thank you again for bringing Tunabean back.”

Owen took a few steps backwards as he said, “You’re most welcome. Goodbye, Tunabean and…”

“Y/N.”

“Goodbye Tunabean and y/n.” His eyes lingered on hers for a few more seconds before he turned around to really make his way home now, no distractions.

“Wait! I didn’t catch yours!” she whisper-shouted after him.

He turned again, but kept walking. “Owen,” he said.

“Goodbye, Owen.” She grabbed Tunabean’s paw and waved at him with it, causing a giggle to rake through Owen’s body. With his hand still in his pocket, he waved back.

The more distance he created between them, the bigger his smile became as he thought of her. She was the epitome of a beautiful dream come to life. It made him wonder what she’d look like if she did put effort into her appearance. That could just be the death of him.

After two more hours of sleep, the alarm blaring through her room woke y/n from a beautiful dream with the mysterious blonde boy that rang her doorbell very early in the morning. It caused her to wake up with the thought of him, wondering if she’d ever see him again.

“Morning,” she greeted Jamila when she found her best friend in the living room, gathering all her stuff. “Guess who came home last night!” As if on cue, the little cat pattered across the hardwood floor towards the dark beauty that was Jamila. Her eyes widened as did her smile upon seeing the white-and-grey ragamuffin.

“Bean!” Jamila shrieked as she knelt down to pick the four-legged friend off the floor. “Oh, baby! I missed you!” She peppered the cat with kisses, receiving the kisses back from her tiny pink tongue. “Where’d you find him?”

“Oh, I didn’t. This guy, Owen, did. He brought her back at, like, five in the morning,” y/n explained as she absentmindedly smiled at the thought of those pretty blue-ish eyes.

“And this Owen guy is pretty cute, isn’t he?” Jamila asked upon noticing her best friend’s flustered demeanor. “Did you ask for his number?” Y/N rolled her eyes before she started gathering her things she needed for work.

“It was five in the morning, I had just woken up and I was too busy with Tunabean’s return to even think of that,” she explained, mostly cursing at herself for not asking his number. “Besides, I looked disgusting, I doubt he thought I was the epitome of beauty.”

Jamila simply shook her head, debating against saying any more about it before pressing a kiss to y/n’s cheek and leaving the apartment.

A silence fell over the space, leaving y/n alone with her thoughts. Her beautiful, yet annoying thoughts of the handsome boy at her front door. “He was handsome, wasn’t he, Tunabean?” she asked her cat, who simply tilted her head to the side as she sat in front of y/n on the floor.

Once y/n had gathered her stuff for work today, she said goodbye to Tunabean and left the apartment. She was fumbling around in her handbag to look for her car keys when a vaguely familiar voice made her look up.

The gorgeous blue eyes she’d been dreaming of for two whole hours were staring down at her whilst the plump pink lips curled up into a dreamy smile. “Oh, hey, Owen.”

“I wanted to come and check up on Tunabean,” he carefully said, pointing up at the building she’d just come out of. “You know, see if she’s okay and stuff.” He suddenly seemed nervous. More nervous than he did at five in the morning.

“Uhm, she’s okay, actually. Slept well and seemed very chipper this morning,” y/n reassured him, a smile playing at her lips as her eyes scanned his face. She made sure to make a mental note of every single detail of his face. Like how he stuck his tongue between his teeth as he smiled or how his eyes squinted slightly or the stubble faintly growing on his chin.

“Oh, okay, good. That’s--that’s all, then…” He awkwardly coughed.

Y/N awaited anything else, her eyes darting left and right as they just fumblingly stood on the curb in front of y/n’s apartment. “I-uhm… I have to get to work though, so…” She pointed somewhere behind Owen, indicating she needed to pass him and get going.

“Right!” he said and took a step aside to let her through. She offered him a little wave and a soft ‘bye’ as she passed him. He watched her walk away, cursing at himself for not asking what he really wanted to ask. “Wait!” he yelled, making her stop in her tracks and turn around again with an expectant look on her face. “That’s-that’s not what I wanted to ask. I mean it was, but it wasn’t the only thing I wanted to ask.” He scratched the back of his neck as y/n’s eyes searched for an answer on his face.

Y/N looked at him with a piercing glint in her eyes, urging him to continue.

“Oh, right! Uhm… Would you -- would you maybe wanna go have a drink with me later today? Or something?” Her smile grew wider as she slowly nodded her head in response.

“I’m off at five. Meet me at Gray Owl then,” she told him before turning to walk away.

Owen was left on her curb, wondering if he had died. He thought she looked pretty when she’d just rolled out of bed, but now that she was all dolled up for work, she was the most beautiful person he had ever seen. And that smile. That smile was killer.

She was more than the epitome of a dream come to life. She was beauty and grace. She was a poem and the poet. She was the lyrics and the melody. She was the question and the answer.

Owen grew more and more curious about that girl the more he thought of her. He wanted to know what she liked and what she absolutely hated. He wanted to know how she laughed and how she cried, if she sang whenever her mind wandered. He wanted to know how she liked her eggs in the morning.

Even though he knew curiosity killed the cat, he knew for a fact the cat in this story was just the beginning of something beautiful.

JATP taglist: @hannahhistorian92 @marinettepotterandplagg @thequirkybookaholic @bookdealer5 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @hemmingsness @iainttakingshitfromnobody @ifilwtmfc @angryknightstatesmantrash @kiss-themoongoodbye @rudysbay @thedarkqueenofavalon @caitsymichelle13 @calamitykaty @wiselight @kcd15 @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic @stars-soph @kinda-really-lost @notasofti

Owen taglist: @alexpjoyner

Lemme know if you wanna be on my taglist!

#julie and the phantoms #julie and the himbos #julie and the fat ones #jatp #owen patrick joyner #owen joyner #owen x reader #owen joyner fic #owen x fem!reader #alex jatp

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headcanonthings · 3 years

Text

Zukka Hockey AU

(with a hint of Social Media AU bc why not?)

Sokka and Zuko meet in the later years of college due to mutual friends

Sokka is an engineering student with a full ride hockey scholarship; Zuko entered as a business major but by the end of his first term he realized he was doing that because it’s what was always expected of him, he then changes to a double Lit & Theater Major (he decides to minor in business so he can help Uncle with the shop)

Neither of them are really looking for a relationship with being so busy with school, sports and jobs but thanks to their mutual friends they start hanging out and become pretty good friends

After college Sokka gets recruited to the pros and quickly becomes a fan favorite; Zuko becomes a moderately successful screen actor

They don’t lose touch so much as they just don’t stay close, they’ll message each other every now and then but mostly through social media like congratulating through tweets or instagram

But then Aang and Katara finally set the date for their marriage and Sokka is Aang’s Best Man and Zuko is invited as one of their dear friends which leads the two of them reconnecting

Zuko’s been out as gay since college and has been vocal in his career about his sexuality and mental health; Sokka on the other hand, while comfortable with his bisexuality, hasn’t been as open due to the heteronormative culture of sports, plus he’s always leaned more towards women then men so he never feels like he’s really hiding anything (the important people like his family, Aang, and Suki all know)

But during the Kataang wedding the two realize how much they’ve really missed each other and something really clicks between them over the few days they spend together

Before heading back to Caldera Zuko decides to shoot his shot (after a prep talk from Mai and Ty Lee) Sokka hesitates which has Zuko going from some what suave to his usual awkward turtleduck self as he quickly tries to backpedal, Sokka immediately jumps in to calm him down saying he’d love to but he’s not out publicly and sports as a whole ain’t that open let alone hockey and Sokka knows Zuko’s been out and doesn’t want him to like go back in the closet or anything

Zuko says he understands, but he really likes Sokka and Sokka has mentioned a few times over the past couple days that his hockey career isn’t a forever thing and Zuko’s willing to keep it on the downlow if it means giving them a try; neither of them are that big of celebrity that’ll be hard, they just need to be careful

It actually goes really well; they have to deal with virtual dates at first with Zuko in Caldera and Sokka on a southern Earth Kingdom island where his Southern Water Tribe team is located

About two months in Zuko’s between acting projects and he’s been wanting to try his hand at writing (he’s had a few short stories published under a pseudonym) so he rents a place on the southern earth island

(it’s a complete accident on Zuko’s part but very intentional on Mai’s part that the place happens to be only a few blocks away from the hockey training arena)

Being so close makes everything easier; being together is so easy in a way neither of them expected; their close friendship in college means they already know a lot about each other like Sokka losing his mom and Yue and Zuko’s entire family situation

By the end of Zuko’s first month on the island Sokka’s pretty sure he’s gonna ask Zukos to marry him someday; by month four of the relationship they agree it’s time to start telling their friends and family

Their six month anniversary hits and Sokka being RomanticTM sets up this huge display at his house I’m talking roses everywhere and fairy lights strung up on his back patio with specially ordered food and drink from the most romantic restaurant in town and a lit candle on the table and soft music playing from a little BT speaker and Zuko almost cries because he is also a RomanticTM but no ones ever done anything like this for him before

And the night is wonderful and there is absolutely nothing wrong but Sokka can’t help but think about how he really wishes he could have taken Zuko out to the restaurant and maybe done some kind of activity before hand and he’s got some really cute selfies with Zuko that he wishes he could share with the world instead of just spamming the gAang group chat

A few days later he’s scrolling social media after practice and realizes that it’s National Coming Out Day and he sees all of these cute and inspiring messages and he wants so badly to be apart of that

Later while he’s laying in bed with Zuko he can’t get those posts out of his head and he’s looking at Zuko curled up into his side and thinks Fuck It

He tells Zuko what he wants to do cause he’s going to come out but if Zuko doesn’t want to be part of it he’s not going to make him but all Zuko does is ask if he’s sure and Sokka is so he snaps a quick pic of them curled up together gets Zuko’s approval of the pic and posts it with a little message (including a bi and pride flag emojis)

Zuko in solidarity makes his own post using one of the photos they took during their anniversary

Sokka gets a call first thing in the morning from his coach and the PR guy asking him to come in; Sokka’s a little worried he’s about to get sacked but reminds himself that he’s still fairly young and he’s been smart enough to get his masters online during the off seasons

To Sokka’s minor surprise everyone is pretty ok with it; the PR guy is a little annoyed they didn’t have a heads up to help cut off the a-holes on the internet but they’re like the only statement we’re gonna put out is one that says the team supports all sexualities but they don’t want to make a big big deal out of it if Sokka’s not comfortable with that

All of Sokka’s teammates flood his mentions with support messages and follow Zuko’s account as another sign of support

The GAang are also quick to share a lot of pics and messages supporting the couple; Katara is super happy to share some of the mushier and embarrassing texts Sokka’s sent her like a whole paragraph about how pretty Sokka thinks Zuko’s eyes are

Bonus:

Mai is Zuko’s best friend since childhood, she went to school for something like Poli Sci and somehow in the process of helping him move to Caldera she ended up moving to; she helped him with his theater classes like running lines and studying and actually picked up a lot of the behind he scenes info so before she knows it she’s helping Zuko get auditions and PR and when someone asks if she’s his manager she only hesitates for a second before saying yes; she asks a family friend to help write up a contact that Zuko barely looks over because he trusts her

Once the initial fervor calms down, Sokka agrees to do an interview but specifically requests a little known journalist (Korra? A different Krew member?) he picks them based off of Zuko’s recommendation, Zuko remembers how kind and easy it was to speak with them; when Sokka tells the interviewer that they nearly faint

Sokka loves Twitter but Zuko is more of an Instagram guy

Sokka and Zuko eventually end up having two weddings, a small personal one that is mostly family and really close friends and then a much larger event type one where they invite Sokka’s full team and the many celeb friends Zuko’s made like other actors and directors

#I started writing this around national coming out day #Finally found it in my drafts and decided it was time to finish fleshing it out #a;tla #Avatar The Last Airbender #zukka #sokka #zuko #fic oultine #Headcanon #hockey au #celeb au

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vicsdeangelis · 2 years

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Thank you for your tags about reader insert fics (and I'm sorry if I wasn't supposed to read it!) Because i'm with you. I have a friend who hates reader inserts fics and ranted about them - they say it's weird and wrong - which makes me feel shit bc thats what I write and it gives me comfort ajf pleasure and it's lit the reason I write but then this same friend goes on and writes fic that ships two real life people with wives and families and while I do read the fics and enjoy the pairing, I always feel like it's a bit ick? Like itself disrespectful to the people irl and their families? Idk but anyway thanks for saying what you said and I'm sorry if absolutely none of this makes sense💖

nah, don't worry, if people weren't supposed to read it i would have deleted it immediately after making the post. i just wrote it in the tags instead of making an actual post about it because i didn't want it to be reblogged

also sorry this took so long to answer. i decided to turn off my phone for a while and ended up binging the queen's gambit. great show. and yes, i know i'm late to it lmao

like, okay, i don't really care about people who ship real people together. that's always gonna happen, it is what it is. i'm just completely against it when people start harassing the "pairing" and their significant others because of it, that's where i draw the line. but like, what's the difference here? why does it become a sin, a crime against morality, when you decide to write down a fantasy starring yourself? like, people are gonna have thoughts about other people, whether they are sexual or romantic, and it's such a common, normal thing, but when you put it into words people decide that you're crazy, you're a fucking weirdo, you need treatment (all things i have actually seen being said about rpf)

it's not like i, or any other people i know who write rpf for that matter, make graphic sexual comments on the person's social media. that is an actual problem, because that's sexual harassment. you're going out of you're way to make the person see your explicit thoughts. or when the person outright says that fanfiction about them makes them uncomfortable, which i would respect because i don't want to make people upset or uncomfortable. in the specific case of måneskin, none of them ever talked about fanfiction (or they did at least once, but i don't know where, and if i remember correctly it was about them being shipped with each other, and not reader insert fanfiction, and they were chill with it. at least victoria was). i'm not making comments about how much i wanna fuck them in the comments of their insta posts, i'm not harassing any of their girlfriends (in fact, giorgia, call me!), i'm just in my own little space, living vicariously through reader insert fanfiction because truth be told, i don't have a lot going on in my life in the romance and sexual department. and by "not a lot" i mean completely and absolutely nothing, ever, in my 25 years on this godforsaken planet. so what if i want to get a little taste of it? what the fuck is so wrong with it?

and reader insert fanfiction has done more for me in regards to owning my sexuality (not in a queer way, cuz i've known i was bi since i was 14, but in a, like, being comfortable with my sexual thoughts and desires way, y'know?) and being more comfortable living inside my own body than any person, any movement, any cheerful post about Everyone Is Beautiful has ever, ever done. i still have a really fucking long way to go when it comes to loving myself, but there was a time in my life that the mere thought of touching myself disgusted me. like my body didn't deserve pleasure because of what i looked like. and those fics helped me. imagining myself being desired, being wanted, reading about it, it helped me overcome something In Real Life. so i'm literally not harming anyone as far as i'm aware, and it actually benefits me, so why am i the crazy one? why am i the gross one? i already live in enough shame in my day to day life, this is the one fucking thing i have, and the internet morality police wants to take that away from me. fuck me i guess, huh?

it doesn't matter if people "don't understand it", that's fine. my problem is when people are actively hostile about it. it's like, i'm not safe to be myself even in my only safe space. it's really heartbreaking for me, i take it very personally, because one of my biggest issues is being mocked. i know what that feels like, and i still live in that mindset of SHAME SHAME SHAME. BE ASHAMED OF WHO YOU ARE, WHAT YOU LIKE, WHAT YOU DO. SHAME SHAME SHAME. and that's what i feel like when i see that shit, i feel like i'm being mocked, like i should sink further into shame, and it just fucking sucks

anyways, sorry for the rant, idk if any of it made sense 😬

#ask

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bandsanitizer · 3 years

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Hello!🤍🐥

5, 20, 43 & 51 for the 5sos asks

hi!! thank you for the ask!! hope you are doing well 💖

5. top five songs overall?

this is a difficult question LOL based solely on my tastes and preferences etc I’ll go with (in no particular order outside of the only reason as 1st):

the only reason, story of another us, os/co, close as strangers, and high (honorable mentions to moving along, over and over, red desert, and kill my time)

20. a song that indulges your emo needs?

I’m going to say over and out? first because drums. second because alex gaskarth writing credits.

43. what color do you associate with each of the members?

THANK YOU FOR THIS QUESTION! I have so so so many feelings about 5sos and colors that I’m putting it in small text to save space. if it’s difficult to read pls let me know and I’ll make it bigger. it just got a bit… long and honestly I have more thoughts about like their ships/pairings as well

okay so easily Calum is dark green. like specifically dark green like forest green-ish in terms of like range of green between yellow and blue, as well. this is because Calum is very very much a cool color—but blue is too cool, like even teal isn’t warm enough to capture the grounding that Calum has, yet he lacks the energized aspects of the warm colors. he definitely has some yellow—he’s pretty friendly and he has his brighter moments, etc (I’d say a lot of his luke and duke interactions are this) but he’s an earthy color. he’s grounded. he’s thoughtful and introspective and while that can be self-orientated he’s very aware and observant. like he’s just… he’s the dark green that resembles the non-creepy sort of comforting surrounding of a forest/trees.

michael is red and I mean bright red like his hair. an unforgiving and unapologetic red. the kind of red that sticks to everything it touches and sticks out in a crowd. which seems odd for michael, but to me he’s always comes across as someone who doesn’t go down quietly or without a fight. someone who wants to know they done something with their life. which is pretty universal, but michael is such a driven dude and he’s 5sos’ number one spokesperson regarding pushing them towards bigger risks and greater chances (them dropping out and the killer queen recording are two examples) and that’s something I find to be bright red? that it’s a fiery sort of passion that can be burning or just a light? that michael is emotions in the sense that I’m sure he has a bit of a temper? but also is so… when he’s happy and proud? he’s so genuine about it? like in general he’s very genuine whether he tries to pretend like he’s not and that’s bright red bc there’s no hiding bright red? it sticks to everything and I do think something about michael is so specific that he leaves behind something with everyone he meets.

luke is blue, usually a sky blue, but a wide array of blues. like everyone has duality but luke does in a way that’s unsuspecting? in the way that blue jeans aren’t usually bold but a swipe of blue eyeliner is a whole statement. he’s blue in that luke moves a lot between softer and harsher sides, deeper and brighter moments. that there are distinctions between front man luke and interview luke and livestream luke and luke posting things on social media that are… subtle but stand out. that he can take up a whole arena with his presence but just from an interview? hard to tell he’s the lead singer sometimes. he’s blue in how blue is full of things. full of meanings from stormy seas to clear skies. full of capacities from making an outfit go from dressy to casual to stepping up an all black fit to a focused statement moment. he’s also just a cool color in the sense he’s introspective and logically led (which is how I associate colors) but he’s a lot more free? airy? than a grounded color like green. he’s mostly clear skies though. and it’s a warm and happy that’s not necessarily the full warmth from the sun on skin? more like that feeling of “today will be a good day” that he’s a star but night skies and bright lights or going unseen in the daytime. just a whole lot of duality in this man i’d say.

last but not least, ashton is a deep red. the kind of red that’s usually velvety or viscous. to start, he and michael are both red (in general) for the emotions I associate them with. they both carry an ability for warmth (think red and fire etc) and they both are emotion dudes. passionate af. they’re the kind of colors with something to say and won’t go unheard. that said, ashton is the “layers” deep red can have. which is like more so the way ashton has very purposeful personalities for situations (like I said with luke) but they’re very *line down the middle* sort of distinct. that he’s the dad friend and the uncle and the older brother and the snippy cousin who won’t talk to you at family reunions and also that other cousin who will start up a conversation out of no where. he’s full of opinions and thoughts and it’s deep red in the sense that he won’t always share them? but they pull or reach out and sprinkle in things he creates. idk if calum’s the open comfort of a forest then ashton is the embrace of a library or comfy couch in a dimly lit room.

51. realistically, what member do you think you’d get along with the best and the least (based on how they appear to the public)?

I can tell you that I would get along with Ashton the least. Particularly as current Ashton, while earlier 2014 Ashton might’ve been the best for this question. I just don’t think I’d vibe with him? We’d probably get angry at each other lmao

Maybe I’d get along with Michael best? He comes across as a friend you don’t need to have a lot of shared interests to maintain a friendship with and I’d say he comes across as pretty patient with people. I think we’d get along regarding these burst of wanting to talk to people and hang out but also having moments of needing space and some realm of alone that isn’t lonely.

5SOS asks!

#i hope that essay on 5sos and colors makes sense i’m sorry it’s so long #but if you want to watch me ramble more lmk! i’m always down to discuss 5sos and colors lol #ana (chamaleonsoul)!!!#i dont have a tag for asks so i guess i’ll make it this #long post

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smol-lydia · 4 years

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Subculture Appropriation: A conversation with my therapist fiancee about the Beetlejuice musical

Okay so, some context before go into this. I don’t normally like going into identity stuff but antis will come for you if you don’t so here we go:

My fiancee is a trans clinical psychologist, likely neurodivergent. However before going into clinical, they got their undergrad in social psychology and because I was a historian before I became too ill to work, I love to talk to them about culture, society, social movements, etc (my brand of historian was a sub-type called social historian, ie I studied the societies, and social movements and every day lives of ordinary people in the past rather than say, military bullshit. I fucking hate military history lol). As additional context for what I am about to talk about here, I was raised by two gay dads, one of whom was an OG 80s punk who lived in Philadelphia during the AIDS crisis.

Also, full disclosure: I love the Beetlejuice musical. I don’t love what it’s done to the fandom but I love the musical; not all Beetlebabes hate the musical.

Okay so:

The thing that gets my goat about the shitty hot takes a lot of gen z has around Beetlejuice comes from what my partner has termed “subculture appropriation.” Let me explain.

Goth and punk are subcultures. They were, in the 80s, revolutionary. They were radical, and they were not accepted in the mainstream. My dad, with his mohawk and tattoos designed himself (he was a horror comic artist) and multiple hand pierced ears and chains around his neck, was not well received in my small town in NJ. When we lived there, in the early 2000s, we were the only gay family in the neighborhood. Gay marriage wasn’t legal, and I was shunned in school for being the girl with two dads. Gay rep in media was pretty much limited to Queer Eye and the L Word. It was a different time.

Gothic subculture, even in the early 2000s, was not mainstream. My small group of friends in high school (we were all goth and emo) were shunned. A lot of us were some flavor of queer. Some of us were POC. Some, like me, autistic. A lot of us had eating disorders. We were bullied incessently, to a point where many of us had severe mental health problems and had spent time in and out of psych wards. This was also not seen as mainstream and labeled us even more as “freaks.”

Beetlejuice was the movie and cartoon for us, by us. It was a cult classic. It was not something most kids were watching, but I grew up strange and unusual. Beetlejuice spoke to an entire generartion of goth subculture.

Nowadays, things are different. Hot Topic doesn’t play Pierce the Veil at ear numbing volumes when you go into the store. You’re likely not gonna find those hideous punk pants we were all enamored of back in the day. Instead, you’ll find Disney. Fandom. Anime. Bob’s Burgers. In the last decade, goth has been watered down to appeal to the masses (much like other nerdy subcultures) because capitialism ruins everything. So, enter the Beetlejuice musical.

I love the musical because it spoke to me, the little girl I once was, who watched the cartoon with my dad on CN. But I noticed, once the show blew up on Tiktok, things changed. And the reason was a mainstream teen audience picked up on something very specific to a subculture. And then they made it there’s-- hence the term subculture appropriation.

Beetlejuice has its roots in gothic literature, dating back to the 19th century (my friend magicalmolly on tiktok has an excellent “understanding gothic literature” series that covers this). One of the main tropes of gothic lit is Death and the Maiden-- aka Beej and Lyds. It is not a mainstream romance, and it’s not supposed to be. If supernatural romance makes you uncomfy, then maybe this genre isn’t for you.

The problem is when something with tropes specific to a subculture enter the mainstream, they are going to be villainzed and misinterpreted because mainstream Beckys who think they’re goth because they paint their nails black have absolutely no sense of history, context, and nuance that the themes of the show give. As a result, suddenly the shitty hot takes pop up. And yes, age gaps are icky irl. But in this genre, they are bread and butter (Lindsay Ellis has a good video on this called My Monster Boyfriend). As a result, suddenly a bunch of kids come into a niche that isn’t theirs, demand we re-arrange the furniture for their comfort, and in general start trying to push the subculture out of its own space.

This isn’t, by the way, gatekeeping. This is appropriation. When you go into a niche subculture created by the marginalized and try to make it your apple pie bullshit, you are appropriating a space that doesn’t belong to you. As a result, you have two choices: you can either educated yourself on the culture, its history, context, nuance, and decide its for you and dive in. Or you can leave. But it’s frankly gross af for you to barge in, try to rewrite history that in the case of the subculture, goes back decades, and in the case of gothic literature, centuries. That is the playbook of colonization (and I know you little fake woke shits are gonna derail the entire argument because of this but I haven’t seen any of y’all write a fucking 60 page thesis on nationalism, colonialism and antisemitism in France so get fucked).

I’m bad at conclusions so if you made it this far, any OG babes feel free to add on with your thoughts bc we old ass goths gotta stick together. Thanks for coming to my historical context essay.

#Beetlejuice #beetlejuice musical #Beetlejuice and Lydia #BeetleBabes #beetlejuice bway #anti culture #anti beetlebabes

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