#appropriate for february lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr has been banned in Indonesia for providing people with access to pornographic content.

#appropriate for february lmao

planete777 · 4 months

Text

꒰ SPICE IT! .:. LN4 + OP81 ꒱ 1k special !

A PLANETE777 SERIES

( lando norris x reader x oscar piastri )

IN WHICH. hotshot couple lando norris and y/n l/n seem to have everything and everyone beneath their feet. with a multimillion business to their name, it's only a shame that their company manager absolutely despises their guts. oscar piastri tries to keep his interactions with his bosses to a minimum, but their proximity decreases to practically nothing when he finds himself in their bed after his inebriation spills what he has tried so hard to keep a secret. it's only supposed to be a one night thing, but he finds himself there again, and again, and again. and, he loves it, just as much as he hates it.

WARNINGS. 18+, MINORS DNI!, smut, smut and more smut, many kinks (will be added to appropriate chapters), virgin!oscar, one sided enemies to lovers, so much drama for no reason, high!landoscary/n because uh yes!, other drivers make their own cameo, they're all stupid and in love your honour, some angst, just me having fun with my self indulgence

NOTE. sooooooooo 🙈 as a small present from me to my wonderful, ever-supportive readers, here i give u: spice it! i know it's been a while since i actually hit 1k but took all this time to think of something and plan it out lmao 😭

i'm super super amazed at how over one thousand people are following me and enjoy reading my works so would just like to say a biiiiiig thank you to everyone who has given me support, i will never be able to fathom how amazing you all are <33 i hope you like this present ❤

in terms of upload schedule, there isn't really one for the time being, but i have things planned out and it's just a matter of when i write it. however, i am very hellbent on releasing the chapters every friday or saturday, depends. this series shouldn't be too long, i've got it aimed at around 5-6 parts, so yes, chapters will be very long!!

SIDENOTE. for my boo and biggest cheerleader @mariahcarreyyy!! surprise!! i love you sarah, and all of this is dedicated to u. thank u for everything mwahh 💓💓💓

‧₊˚✩彡 normal taglist : @laciijane @ferrarrigirl @norrizzandpia @mimi-luvzyu @multifandomwhore-003 @nzygftoji

‧₊˚✩彡 series taglist : @burberryfilms @formulaal @st4rshine @woozarts @gramelda @33-81 @mcmuppet @landosgirl519 @eviethetheatrefreak @kamalaei @sourskywalker @starz4me1 @hiireadstuff @black-fireproofs @cabbyhabs @tsukishimawhore @sakuramxchii @jule239 @ln4norizz @earlgreyflowers @crustyboypix (use askbox if you'd like to be added!)

[ if your user is in bold, i am unable to tag you ]

CHAPTERS -> one. two. three. four. five. six.

FIRST CHAPTER RELEASE DATE: 2nd february

POSTPONED TO 10th FEBRUARY

654 notes · View notes

lovingyoulovinme · 1 year

Text

part 2 of childhood best friends!charles & y/n

part 3

2021

yourinstagram

Liked by arthur_leclerc and 86,893 others

yourinstagram happy birthday to my best friend in the whole entire world i love u charlie!!! this is only time of the year ill be nice to u 🫶🏽🫶🏽

View all 558 comments

charles_leclerc You call posting that second photo being nice?? 😭

— View 129 more replies

yourinstagram i said i love you is that not enough

user7 I LOVE THEM!!!!!

ynfan y/n is the only person allowed to clown on charles

pascale.leclerc.355 🥹🤏

user2 he looks so good in the first pic omfg

pierregasly 🤣

October 16, 2021

charles_leclerc

Liked by yourinstagram and 432,577 others

charles_leclerc L.A. ❤️

View all 6,683 comments

yourinstagram i post such good photos of you and u post urself in those horrible pants..you'll be single forever

— View 249 more replies

charlesupdates LMAO get his ass

charles_leclerc Only need you 🤗

user1 DONT GIVE ME HOPE LIKE THIS

user13 does she have to follow him everywhere?

arthur_leclerc Thanks for the invite guys!!!

user4 who was y/n looking at like that

— View 35 more replies

yourinstagram the waiter bringing us our food

ylnleclerc get married already 🫣

December 4, 2021

2023

rubendias

Liked by masonmount and 538,838 others

rubendias 🤍

View all 3,589 comments

yourinstagram not enough pictures of me but okay

— View 285 more replies

rubendias Other pictures of you were not appropriate 🤣

user2 i cant stand them

yoursister she looks beautiful ❤️ and you're there...

jackgrealish Vacay is over..time to come back to training!

user3 i love when two sexy people date each other

sasha_rebecca Angel in slide 3! 👼😇

March 3, 2023

charles_leclerc

Liked by yourinstagram and 953,389 others

charles_leclerc Third in the main race today. Nothing we could have done more.

Thank you for the support and see you in Miami 🇺🇸

View all 4,938 comments

ylnleclerc IS THAT A Y/N LIKE IN THE YEAR 2023

— View 49 more replies

user6 i'm literally in disbelief...

charlielover they def rekindled in february thats what im choosing to believe and now all we need is for them to follow each other again 🙏

scuderiaferarri 💪❤️

user8 not to sound delusional but i bet y/n is still so proud of him despite what happened between them 🥺

pierregasly P3 Baby 🏋️‍♀️

charlesfan proud of u for being able to take that horrible car past its limits

April 30, 2023

yourinstagram

Liked by pierregasly and 197,288 others

yourinstagram happy birthday to my boyfriend!

View all 1,854 comments

rubendias Best birthday present 🤤

yourfriend you are so funny bruh

ynstan i could treat you better queen 😭

user2 pierre back in her likes.....im connecting the dots

pascale.leclerc.355 Beautiful 🤗

— View 52 more replies

yourinstagram thank you pascale 💓💓

May 15, 2023

yourinstagram added to their story.

May 21, 2023

dailymail

43,382 likes

dailymail Seems like trouble has hit for Manchester City player, Ruben Dias and his girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N 👀 The star snogs mystery woman on boat during holiday in Formentera despite his ongoing relationship with Y/L/N.

Comments on this post have been limited.

July 24, 2023

tags (tagging everyone who asked about a part 2/asked to be reminded!): @julesandro @tempo-rary-fix @briandaflores19 @fangirlika @escapism-writer @haloxmendes @leclerc16s @vita-di-moda

#f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 instagram au #charles leclerc instagram au #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc imagine #ruben baby im sorry i love u!!!!#i saw someone tag part 1 with pls dont hurt ruben and i apologize....hes perfect tho

2K notes · View notes

why4anne · 7 months

Text

Daylight

Part: 2/?

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Category: Social Media au

Summary: Follow the love story of a global pop icon and a monegasque F1 driver

Face claim: Taylor Swift (Singing) + others

Masterlist

2018

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 2 689 329 others

f1: BREAKING: Charles Leclers signs a contract with Ferrari starting in the 2019 season

view comments:

graciethewag: OMG I am so happy for him!!🥹

scuderiaferrari: Welcome to the team Charles❤️

- charles_leclerc: It's an honor to be a part of the team FORZA FERRARI!❤️

yourusername: I've always looked good in red so I see this as an absolute win🤷‍♀️

- holly_leclerzz: lmao you're so real for that

- gridpenalty231: Yes girl! Slay the Ferrari red!!!💅

- charles_leclerc: I just signed with my dream team and this is what you come up with?😒

- yourusername: Just joking baby😘 I'm so happy for you FORZA FERRARI❤️

- scuderiaferrari: We've got mother on our team😤

- charles_leclerc: I see who's the favorite🥲

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, badgalriri and 5 393 359 others

yourusername: My man😍😮‍💨 Let's appreciate the ft screenshot I got of him yesterday. Thirstiness aside, amore I am so proud of you for achieving your life long dream of driving for Ferrari and I know that your loved ones whom are no longer with us would be too. I look forward to cheering for the red cars next season!❤️

view comments:

charl_lecleczz: Y/N casually showing off how hot her and her bf are before dropping the cutest caption ever

hardtires313: are we not going to talk about how hot Charles looks in that pic??

charles_leclerc: my biggest supporter❤️

- yourusername: always🤍

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, arianagrande and 10 393 359 others

yourusername: It felt appropriate to to do an F1 theme with this album announcement since the person it's about is an F1 driver. I am proud to announce that my new album Lover will be out February 14th 2019.

view comments:

y/ngirlforevs: SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP!!! HE GETS AN ENTIRE ALBUM WRITTEN ABOUT HIM????

rorytheracingcar: STOP!!! this is too much for me to handle😭 I still can't believe that my fav f1 driver and my fav artist are dating and now she goes and writes an album about him??!! Y/N and Charles fans STAY WINNING!!

y/nhasaniceface: This man must've done something incredible in his past life to deserve all of this

safetycar92: The fact that she made the announcement f1 themed does something to my heart 🥹

charles_leclerc: I am so proud of you my love, you never seize to amaze me. Your talent, voice and beauty is otherworldly❤️

- arthur_leclerc: Charles, you are disgusting but I am so proud of my future sister in law that I'm gonna let it slide

- yourusername: thank you Arthur and Charles. I love you both!❤️🤍

- yellowflagzz: FUTURE SISTER IN LAW??

yourusername uploaded a story

#charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc #charles leclerc social media au #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc x y/n #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc smau #f1 #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #formula one #formula 1 #formula 1 social media au #arthur leclerc #arthur leclerc x reader

295 notes · View notes

whyanne4 · 10 months

Text

Daylight

Part: 2/?

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Category: Social Media au

Summary: Follow the love story of a global pop icon and a monegasque F1 driver

Face claim: Taylor Swift (Singing) + others

Masterlist

2018

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 2 689 329 others

f1: BREAKING: Charles Leclers signs a contract with Ferrari starting in the 2019 season

view comments:

graciethewag: OMG I am so happy for him!!🥹

scuderiaferrari: Welcome to the team Charles❤️

- charles_leclerc: It's an honor to be a part of the team FORZA FERRARI!❤️

yourusername: I've always looked good in red so I see this as an absolute win🤷‍♀️

- holly_leclerzz: lmao you're so real for that

- gridpenalty231: Yes girl! Slay the Ferrari red!!!💅

- charles_leclerc: I just signed with my dream team and this is what you come up with?😒

- yourusername: Just joking baby😘 I'm so happy for you FORZA FERRARI❤️

- scuderiaferrari: We've got mother on our team😤

- charles_leclerc: I see who's the favorite🥲

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, badgalriri and 5 393 359 others

view comments:

charl_lecleczz: Y/N casually showing off how hot her and her bf are before dropping the cutest caption ever

hardtires313: are we not going to talk about how hot Charles looks in that pic??

charles_leclerc: my biggest supporter❤️

- yourusername: always🤍

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, arianagrande and 10 393 359 others

view comments:

y/ngirlforevs: SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP!!! HE GETS AN ENTIRE ALBUM WRITTEN ABOUT HIM????

y/nhasaniceface: This man must've done something incredible in his past life to deserve all of this

safetycar92: The fact that she made the announcement f1 themed does something to my heart 🥹

charles_leclerc: I am so proud of you my love, you never seize to amaze me. Your talent, voice and beauty is otherworldly❤️

- arthur_leclerc: Charles, you are disgusting but I am so proud of my future sister in law that I'm gonna let it slide

- yourusername: thank you Arthur and Charles. I love you both!❤️🤍

- yellowflagzz: FUTURE SISTER IN LAW??

yourusername uploaded a story

458 notes · View notes

kiwi-solace · 1 year

Text

Yandere!Ateez: How You Meet (Pairs)

Warnings: pussy eating, *cough* eiffel tower *cough*, unprotected sex, creampie, yandere themes: obsession, implied stalking and legit stalking for now, dubious consent. If this isn’t your cup of tea, then kindly skip.

Word Count: 6.3k

A/N: Soooo February is coming up and even though I have not written in so long (college and other stuff) I wanna get back into it. Plus I am lacking in yandere content (my guilty pleasure) so I decided fuck it I’ll do it myself lol. Plus y’all can’t tell me you don’t find yandere!ateez fun. BUT, I have to layout the groundwork first from the beginning before diving on into their profiles. I did not mean for San and Wooyoung’s to end up as a straight up smut. I haven’t written smut since like 2017 so that was a shock lmao. No beta read we die like men 👀

♡ THIS IS NOT A REAL REFLECTION OF THEM IN LIFE ♡

♡ Hongjoong - Seonghwa ♡

Order, Dilligence

Every few months, you like to dress in your best evening gown and treat yourself to the city's best operas. Normally these places are out of your price range, but your college had managed a deal with the opera house with its prestigious drama department. However, you don’t go unless you feel you’ve earned it by successfully passing a critique, surviving midterms or finals, and other things of the sorts. Just last week you finished by not only surviving your finals week, but passing with flying colors that included your critiques for pieces that made you feel passion you hadn’t felt in a long time. Why not let that passion grow by watching a show stopping performance practiced and perfected by performers out of your league in expertise? It’s a chance to finally relax and enjoy the arts surrounding you.

You know it’s common for the wealthy to appear at the opera house on a regular basis, which gave you a lovely excuse to buy an elegant gown, but you knew to stay out of the way for the most part. The last thing you wanted was to get on the wrong side of some celebrity or accidentally offend someone’s future CEO. On the other hand, this was a great opportunity to grow your network and make connections that would help you out in the near future and you will one day–you just haven’t worked up the courage to do so. That didn’t stop you from random conversations during intermissions and finalies on occasion, which brings you to your current situation. It’s unfortunate you know the celebrity that you caught the attention of would only cause trouble rather than provide any future positive aspects into your life. Little did you know during this interaction two stark personalities were watching you closely from the private balconies.

“I appreciate the kind words Jinyoung, but I believe there are far better prospects in this room than just me.”

“Nonsense. Nothing could be better than your divine presence. I should be thanking you for letting me be this close,” he smirks as he leans in closer, arm snaking behind your back. You can feel the stares this is garnering and the malice of envious women are even louder. You start to shuffle away in an effort to get away from his grasp, but his grip only tightens at the movement making you fall stiff in the denial of your efforts. “Trying to get away doll?”

You really want to roll your eyes at that. “I just think it’d be more appropriate for the setting if we were not so close to each other. I do not want to ruin your reputation.” You could care less. What you do care about, is the amount of attention you’re earning yourself instead of staying the invisible nobody you believed you were. It’s nice to pretend once in a while and act like you are desired by such high profile people, though you actively avoid trouble as you’d not like to be on the receiving end of hate campaigns online or in person. “I appreciate the consideration, but I can’t let such a person leave me now,” he purrs. In that moment, you spot a glint in his eyes that wasn’t there before making you freeze in place before you could comprehend what was happening. It seemed like everything stopped around you, including your own body against your will. As panic begins to settle in, two figures approach behind you and one of them places a hand on your shoulder, making you jolt in place.

If you weren’t in such a public setting, you’d be freaking out at Jinyoung, wondering what the hell just happened to you. You’re cursing him in your head as the fear that rose starts to turn into anger when a voice from behind you brings you back to the situation at hand. “Who’s this lovely lady Jinyoung?” a deep voice says. You shift your body to face the mysterious speaker only to come face to face with the city’s most prestigious CEOs and high society couple–Park Seonghwa and Kim Hongjoong.

Your eyes widen as you acknowledge their presence and politely bow to them. “A lady with manners is always a plus in my book,” Seonghwa states as he gives you a quick once over then turning his attention to the now silently glaring Jinyoung. “I’m sure you won’t mind us stealing her from you now would you Jinyoung?” Hongjoong questions, but anyone watching could tell it was rhetorical. You don’t know why you willingly looped your arm around Seonghwa’s arm as you made eye contact. You don’t know why everyone seemed to be looking away as they moved out of your way when the three of you walked towards the exit. You don’t know why you willingly got into their limo, squeezed between the both of them even when there was ample space to spread out. Your mind felt empty. Nothing was being comprehended besides bits and pieces of conversation between the two of them and sometimes aimed at you.

“Just let us lead you doll, we’ll take care of you,” Hongjoong cooed as he hooks his arm around your lower back. “You were right on coming tonight Seonghwa. It seems like others have become just as intoxicated with her as us.”

“When am I ever wrong dear?” He smirks. “But this little stunt will bring some unwanted press unfortunately…we should also do something about Jinyoung touching what’s ours,” he scowls.

“Nothing we haven’t taken care of before. You know the drill by now,” Hongjoong’s eyes gaining that similar glint before he steels his face as they approach their limo waiting for them.

“Ah~ our love is finally with us darling,” Seonghwa purred as he tucked his face in the crook of your neck and took a deep breath. “Even with all the years of life we had, she’s the most intoxicating I’ve ever been connected to…besides you love.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Hongjoong laughs as he mirrors Seonghwa, dragging his unusually sharp teeth along your neck. Had you been in a better conscious state, you would’ve pulled away from the both of them. None of this was making sense. You felt trapped in your own body, thrown into the lion’s den in their presence as the driver began the journey to god knows where.

“W-where…” you attempt to speak, but it’s taking much more energy than you can expel at the moment. An intense wave of exhaustion washing over you just from that one word.

“Oh. Our love really is meant for us. No one is able to even utter a word when compelled by you Seonghwa~” Hongjoong teases before leaving a light peck in the crook of your neck and sitting up. “But this better not be a sneak peak of future disobedience,” he sighs. “So troublesome.”

Seonghwa laughs a little as he also sits up and rests his hand on your thigh. “She’ll be the perfect little pet in no time even if she did Joongie. She is our soulmate after all. She’s the missing piece to us.” He pauses to turn your head towards him, a smile gracing his face as his eyes begin to glow an ominous red. “You can rest (y/n), we’re finally taking you home where you belong with us.”

And with that final command, you lean into him and fall into a deep slumber.

♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎

♡ Yeosang - Jongho ♡

Service, Attentive

Had you known you would be catering your kingdom’s royal anniversary party you’d think someone was playing a prank on you. In fact, you still think it’s all a dream as you and your team bring in the large order of pastries into the kitchen to be inspected and set up in the ballroom for the kingdom’s kings to celebrate their anniversary of taking the throne a millennia ago. You weren’t alive when they first began their rule, only being a young enough witch, your kind isn’t really known for their longevity in age unlike other supernatural beings in the world. It really all depends on the class and path your magic chooses. You had known since young that you weren’t cut out for the more offensive or combat driven magic. Enjoying helping others, you learned that you could pair spells into objects including food to be digested for the masses. After years of training and perfecting your technique, you finally opened your own modest bakery that sold pastries based on health, luck, and fortune. Each category had varying effects, but your strongest spells were the ones in health, including longevity and especially disease ridding spells. It had become the talk of your small seaside town that had spread through the kingdom within a few years that led you here, in the kingdom’s grand palace today.

It was last month when a messenger had come to her bakery with a royal summons in hand. At first you thought they had the wrong witch in mind, you were only a small bakery owner with a bit of witchiness to add onto it. Very modest. But the messenger insisted the letter was for you and you were to cater for the upcoming anniversary with a variety of your pastries for the established guests that would be attending along with the majesties. Ever since then, you had been working nonstop with organizing the spells for the increased number of people you’d be serving along with your regular customers throughout the normal work day. To say you were tired was an understatement, but you can’t say it wasn’t worth it as you passed through the threshold of the palace. You never imagined you’d be able to step foot into the palace let alone potentially meet the majesties. You’ve heard many rumors about them ranging from their ethereal beauty to their dominating presence. Growing up in a town on the outskirts of the kingdom doesn’t grant you many opportunities if at all seeing them in the flesh. Even in their routine visits around the kingdom, it’s been recorded that they’ve only approached your town a handful of times. Times you weren’t even born yet.

Setting up was easy with the palace servants aiding their help to move things along faster than it would’ve taken if it had been just you and your team of your five apprentices. As you worked, you heard a range of excited whispers about the presence of the kings nearby. Apparently the servants have seen less and less of them over the years for some unknown reason. Many guessed it could be as small as needing a break, but some had believed one of them had fallen ill. You hope it wasn’t the last reason, knowing if that were true they’d have eager invaders in a heartbeat and your town would be one of the firsts to go. The health of the kings is the strength of the kingdom. By the time you dismissed your team to change for the party, the sun had started to set and guests were beginning to arrive at the gates. You knew it wouldn’t be until another thirty minutes when they’d be allowed to enter the ballroom, so you went ahead to change yourself and look for the garden you had spotted when walking through one of the long corridors.

With a few slips up on the path, you manage to find yourself in the middle of the royal garden. You wander around until you see a fountain up ahead surrounded by the tall shrubbery that lines the path beautifully. The sun dips lower, painting the sky in pink and purple hues signaling the moon’s takeover soon. Every passing minute you can feel your own magic radiate underneath your fingertips. Now that you think about it, you don’t usually feel your magic this strongly even when there’s a full moon at its highest peak. You were far from being the strongest witch, but it didn’t mean you were weak either. As you approach the fountain you gaze into its tranquil ripples as you try to pinpoint why almost your entire body starts to vibrate until you hear a sharp sound to your right, alerting you of another presence. The man you come face to face almost takes your breath away as he stares directly at you, questioning. You opened your mouth to greet him, but before you could say a word, you felt an overwhelming pressure suddenly drop onto your shoulders as he continued to stare. He seems to notice your discomfort and approaches you to lift a hand to your arm. “Are you alright?” His voice was much deeper than you expected from the way he looked, but it was a pleasant surprise.

His touch also not only lifted the pressure you felt, but reigned in you magic tenfold. “I am okay now, thank you,” you smile and take a deep breath, noticing he hadn’t let go yet. “Did you come to see the sunset in this garden?” Being silent would only make things awkward with a stranger, and you’ll be damned to embarrass yourself even once in front of him. You can already feel your skin heat up from his lingering touch.

“Yes I did. I believed I needed a time of peace before I made my appearance in the ballroom.” He smiles. You look away from him and at his hand to avoid any more unnecessary eye contact. Just his presence makes you nervous, and you’ve never been one to flirt. Following your gaze, he pulls his hand away seemingly embarrassed to have forgotten he was holding you. “I apologize for touching you without permission. While I wanted to soothe your magic, in turn it began to soothe my own being.” He pauses before stepping away from you toward the palace. “I hope to see you at the party later,” he says before making a swift exit, leaving you alone with your thoughts. The encounter felt important, and yet you couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason why. In addition, just his touch was able to reign in your magic, which was already alarming, but your magic seemed to soothe him too if what he said was true. Shaking your head, you decide to compartmentalize that for later deconstruction. As of now, you had a party to attend.

You and your team of apprentices stuck to your display of pastries as the guests mingled and danced with one another. Occasionally, you’d try to push your apprentices to make connections and you could stay and answer any questions the guests had for each pastry available, but they insisted on staying by your side. It wasn’t until a bit halfway through the majesties finally made their appearance, the air changing with the pressure they brought and the guests all stilled and to bow their way. Before you could bow, you stood shocked as you realized the man you spoke to in the garden was none other than one the kings and you barely showed your respect. You moved quickly to bow before the situation fully settled in. As you rose along with the other guests you could feel his stare on you, but you refused to raise your head in their direction as they were announced to the guests. The one you met was none other than King Yeosang and next to him was King Jongho who looked more beautiful than the rumors could supply.

You may have not realized it now, or even as the party progressed and made their rounds, but Yeosang couldn’t get his mind off of you. No one outside of Jongho could settle his turbulent soul and calm his rampant energy that has only grown more restless as the years went on. They’re in a time of peace, while that is good for the wellbeing of their people, it’s not in their nature to remain so kind, so his soul has been more than disobedient ever since. When he left the garden, he made a beeline to Jongho to tell him of this experience. He had to share the news of a particular witch he encountered that was able to achieve such a feat, but knowing how protective Jongho is, he wasn’t surprised by his apprehensive curiosity. They planned to keep you here close to them to explore this new revelation and see if you really are their missing piece.

Their queen.

♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎

♡ Mingi - Yunho ♡

Protection, Adoration

It had been years since you returned to your hometown you think as you open your childhood bedroom door. Ever since you graduated high school, you were college bound in the big city and haven't looked back since. It wasn’t until almost five years later with constant pestering from your family and old friends you decided to finally visit. Placing your bags down next to your closet door, you move over to your window sill to gaze at the old yet familiar view of the right behind your house. You recall your friends growing up had always been afraid to sleep over your house and would only come during the day time. By the time the sun would threaten to set, they’d be long gone so you would usually be the one to travel to them after the fifth disappearance happened while in your middle school years.

Your friends always wondered how you weren’t afraid of the forest right outside your window, but you shrugged off their concerns and told them you didn’t believe the rumors, knowing damn well the people that would go missing were very real. Denial can be a powerful thing if you put your mind to it. Though you know the real reason why you never felt afraid was far from the more rational side of reality. A pull to the forest had always been felt by you, even as you gaze at it now, a deep longing is felt. When you moved away, that longing only increased tenfold as you went to pursue your dreams, to the point after these five years, you couldn’t take it anymore. You know you shouldn’t walk into that dark forest, the light being unable to pierce through its density even in the bright hours of day, and yet you find yourself getting up to leave the house in a daze. It’s like an out of body experience before you realize you’re at the edge of the forest not long after. In shock, you take a deep breath and look at your surroundings to see if anyone could see you standing at the forest edge. I shouldn’t do this–but you must. Even your thoughts are contradicting themselves as you take the first step to cross the threshold. The crunch of the fall leaves sounds louder in the stark silence, making you hesitate on taking your next step. Last chance to back out. Closing your eyes, you take another step, releasing the breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. You open your eyes to take in the reality of things and turn around only to not see the houses that were once there. Only darkness surrounds you now–panic begins to settle in at your current situation.

“How…” you say to no one but yourself, unable to believe what just happened. Steeling your nerves as best as you can, you turn forward to continue moving, hoping you’d find something that could help lead you back out of this unknown maze this is turning out to be. You don’t know how long you had been wandering, the concept of time lost on you when the sun and moon isn’t there to lend a hand, all you do know is that you’re being watched. That telltale feeling as if something or someone is staring at you hasn’t left ever since you began your path further into the forest. No matter how many times you checked around yourself, you couldn’t find anything except more trees and plants. You haven’t even seen a single animal in this forest adding onto its eerie nature.

Far up ahead, you think you can see the forest lighting up as if there was a light at the end of this endless tunnel. This could be the edge of the forest you were looking for to get back to your home! With that thought, you pick up your pace, not wanting to fully run to conserve energy, but the desire to get out of this forest is overpowering the longing you originally felt that brought you here in the first place. Approaching this edge, you stop in your tracks at the sight you’re met with. A beautiful flower field stretches beyond you as the sun bathes it with its rays. Wandering further in, you’re amazed that something so beautiful was hidden in this dark forest–it almost feels like an entirely different plane of existence. Where the forest filled you with fear of the unexpected and a cold feeling, this field wrapped you in its warmth and happiness as you sat in a patch of grass, careful to not crush any of the neighboring flowers. Looking back up at the sky you see that the sun hasn’t reached its highest point, which means it was still morning. At most maybe two hours had passed since you entered the forest, yet it feels much longer than that. Sighing, you lay back onto the soft grass, lost in your own thoughts of how you got yourself in this situation. Why have other people get you into bad situations when you can do it perfectly fine by yourself, you laugh to yourself at that.

You don’t know when you dozed off, the comforting warmth of the morning sun and the peaceful atmosphere the flower field created leaving you in a tranquil daze, but by the time you woke up the sun was a bit past its highest peak in the day. Blinking away your sleepiness, you don’t register the furry warmth on either side of you, nor the curious yet excited eyes that watch your every move. Lifting yourself to sit up, you yawn and stretch out, arms rising and falling to the side only to land on furry warm bodies instead of the cool grass below you, making you jolt in place. An embarrassingly high squeal comes out as one of the large wolves to your right, with a warm auburn color sits up and brings its face closer to yours. You move to pull back away from you, until you realize the wolf with black fur moved behind you to keep you from moving away, all with an excited tail wagging at an alarming speed. Why are they so excited? If I were their prey I feel like I should feel way more alarmed than just the confusion and shock I have as of now. The auburn wolf moves to clumsily lay in your lap as you’re lost in your thoughts, ignoring the fact its way larger than what your lap could hold. Its whines bring you out of your thoughts to focus solely on them. “H-hello?” You don’t know why you’re talking to it, but from the way it’s looking at you, you can’t help yourself from trying.

The wolf from behind you scoffs and shifts to move in front of you as well. He eyes the auburn wolf and tries to push them off of your lap with their nose, causing adorable whines from them as they reluctantly get up to sit in front of you instead. The black wolf then barks at you before raising its paw to you. With how incredulous this situation is, you’re not surprised at yourself when you lift your hand to grasp their paw in your hand. When you woke up in your cottage today, you didn’t think you’d be shaking hands…or paws with a wolf, but I guess you can check that off your imaginary list. The auburn wolf, annoyed with the lack of attention, rolls onto its back to attract your attention and maybe even a few belly rubs if it's being honest. You let go of the black wolf’s paw and let out a giggle at the display the other is showing. After a quick inspection, you come to realize the wolf was male and reach over to give a few tentative pets on his belly. His tail wags in approval as your petting becomes more confident. The black wolf begins to mimic its friend, wanting the same amount of affection and you happily oblige the both of them. While this interaction was bizarre, it was a welcome distraction from your daily work/life schedule.

People usually say to avoid the forest surrounding your hometown, but finding this flower field in addition to adorably cute wolves was making you think otherwise. If you hadn’t wandered in, you would’ve never had this experience. It wasn’t long until the sun started to set, alerting you to the time that has passed since you awoke from your unexpected nap. Getting up, the wolves perk up from their resting positions from your sudden movement. You sigh as you stretch out from sitting for an extended period of time and turn to face the both of them. “It was nice spending time with you both, but I have to get home now,” you smile as you turn to leave towards the direction you came. However, you only make it to the edge of the clearing before the large black wolf runs in front of you, interrupting your path. Stunned at first, you move to go around the wolf and wave, but he only follows to block you again. The auburn wolf joins him at his side and growls as you move to step aside once again, causing fear to slowly well up inside you. “I have to get home you guys, it’ll be dark soon,” you plead your case. You don’t know why you’re talking to them like they understand you, but their eyes seem to speak louder than your own words. The black wolf nudges you back as the other gently bites your sleeve to pull you in the opposite direction. You try to yank your arm back and move again, but their growls make you still in your movements. Will these wolves hurt me? What was I thinking to trust wild animals? You can’t help but talk down on yourself over ignoring the lessons that you’ve been taught since young.

There’s a reason those who enter this forest never leave and now you’re the next victim. Never enter the forest.

♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎

♡ Wooyoung - San ♡

Infatuation, Dependance

“Sannn, we need another person, they’re not giving me enough energy,” Wooyoung whines as they exit the apartment complex their latest treat lives in.

“It’s not my fault you’re so insatiable,” San retorts with a knowing smile, “but I do agree, we’re gonna need someone new soon.” They continue their walk, traveling with no destination in mind at the moment as they discuss their plans when Wooyoung stops in his tracks before looking around. Even though it was still the middle of the night, it wasn’t hard for them to sense or see anything in the night.

“Over there,” he says and points across the street to you, walking briskly with your headphones in. San looks over in your direction and has to stop himself from running over and taking you right then and there. Normally they have their instincts under control, but even from this distance your soul smelled like the most appetizing treat they’ve had in a long time. Last time they had encountered a delicious soul like yours, they devoured them all that night, while he did regret not savoring them, they sure as hell had a memorable time they’ll never forget. But ever since then, it was like nobody ever lived up to the level their taste had been raised as they were left to feed from mediocre (at best) souls. “Well what are we waiting for,” San smiles as he and Wooyoung begin their trek to you.

On the other hand, you were quickly trying to return home after your shift. Tired from the day, and feeling tense, you’d like to unwind before taking yourself straight to bed afterwards. Seeing your apartment complex finally come into view, you pick up your pace until you’re stopped dead in your tracks by bumping into someone. You could’ve sworn you were the only one out here, but as you look up to see maybe the most handsome man you’ve laid eyes on with a friend with just as much beauty, you take a step back and begin to apologize.

“It’s no problem at all, I should’ve been watching where I was going,” San says as he steps to the side. You nod in response, afraid you’d make a fool of yourself if you opened your mouth. “You shouldn’t be out here alone, you know. We could walk you the rest of the way if you’d like,” Wooyoung offers as he steps towards you with a kind smile. Normally you’d have your alarms blaring in your head, but as you look at them, you can’t help but nod again to allow them to escort you. “Well then lead the way doll.”

It was a quick walk, and really didn’t need an escort, but who were you to say no to them. You could barely think of a coherent sentence let alone have rational thoughts. Now at the entrance to your building, you turn to thank them for escorting you and wish for them to get home safe.

“No problem at all. Hope you have sweet dreams tonight,” Wooyoung winks before they turn to leave.And boy did you have the sweetest of them all.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

You open your eyes when you hear a sudden to the left of you. You don’t know why, but you feel as if you were no longer alone in your room. Slowly turning your head you squint as your eyes try to adjust to the darkness, but are unable to see anything.

“Right here love,” a voice to your right suddenly says, causing you to jolt upright and look to see who’s beside you. You hear a giggle from your other side when you acknowledge the person beside you was one of the men that escorted you.

“W-wha–” you begin before you’re cut off with Wooyoung’s finger. “No need to think about it right now (y/n), we just want to pleasure you. Will you let us?” he asks as San from the other side of you pulls you closer to his lap. His lips trace your ear as they wait for your response, fingers lightly pulling at your shirt. “We can take care of you so well baby,” San whispers into your ear, sending shivers down your back. You whimper slightly from embarrassment of how much they affect you so easily, but also because in that moment San starts to nibble right below your ear, making you feel weak. Wooyoung, not wanting to be excluded from the fun, moves in front of you to open your legs and pull down your shorts.

“No panties?” he smirks at you before lowering himself to your thighs, trailing light kisses that evolve into full love bites the closer he gets to your core. San reaches around you to pull your shirt off and immediately grasps your breasts to fondle them. “No bra either,” he laughs, “it’s like she knew we’d be here.” San moves your head to the side to gain better access to your neck, then latches onto it without hesitation. Your soft pants egg Wooyoung on to finally lick your slit, causing you to instinctively close your legs, but he grabs onto both of your thighs and pushes them back, folding you.

“Let go for us (y/n), we’ll take good care of you. Right Youngie?” San smirks as he looks back at his partner lost in between his legs. He knows he’s not going to get a reply from him as he’s too lost in lapping at your lips to care about anything else around him. You yourself are lost in the feeling as Wooyoung begins to suck on your clit like his life depends on it and easily slips in two fingers in the meantime. San attaches his lips to yours, swallowing your moans and moves his hands to pinch at your nipples. Your breath hitches a bit at the pain followed by a loud moan as San lets his tongue wander your mouth, overpowering your tongue in an instant. You feel like you're going numb yet you’re being lit ablaze between the two. Tightening around Wooyoung’s fingers, he proceeds to add two more as he lifts his head to look at the state you’re in.

“Sannie, she tastes so good, can she be our pet?” Your walls pulsate around his fingers at the implication. You haven’t been able to explore your kinks before, only really having few vanilla experiences, but this is giving you the chance to explore things you never thought you’d like. You moan at the thought of being their pet, being taken care of, punished if you misbehave, but rewarded if you’re good…you need that in your life. Even if this is just a dream, you want this to continue every night if possible. Wooyoung doesn’t wait for a reply, focusing on increasing his pace and lifting his head to leave a trail of love bites along your abdomen. San presses himself against you from behind so you could feel the effect you had on him and what to anticipate.

“Of course Youngie, she can be our pretty kitty,” he purrs happily into your neck. You can barely hear him at this point, too focused on the familiar coil that’s ready to unravel. “I-I’m–” You don’t even get to finish your sentence as you feel Wooyoung pull away from you and hear both him and San laugh at your whines. “I was so close–” you lift yourself up a bit to face Wooyoung, “Why’d you stop?”

“Can’t let you cum unless it’s around one of us kitty,” he teases and finally removes the last few articles of clothing on him, San following suit. From there San moves to the top of the bed, pulling your legs closer to him as Wooyoung situates himself behind you. “On your hands and knees,” San commands as he taps your thigh. You flip over to get in position and look up to see Wooyoung positioning his cock in front of your face with a smirk. You felt him before he was fully hard, but you didn’t expect the size he grew too. What he lacked in girth he made up for in length and it left you salivating for it.

“Open wide kitty,” Wooyoung says and you happily oblige, his tip laying heavy on your tongue. You push yourself forward to take him in more, moaning at the taste and the breath he takes in above you before sighing from the relief. “I’m gonna fuck your mouth now, just relax,” he warns as you open your mouth wider, eagerly preparing for him. He starts out slow to give you a chance to find a proper rhythm before he begins to snap into you. His moans fall deliciously from his mouth, getting lost in the feeling of your mouth, you want nothing more than to give yourself to him. Losing yourself in the feeling of Wooyoung, you’re reminded of San behind you as he presses himself against your core, slowly trailing his cock up and down your slit before lining up with your hole.

“Don’t forget about me kitty, you’re doing so well for us,” he slowly begins to push inside of you, groaning as your walls greedily suck him in. “Fuck, such a slutty hole sucking me in like that kitty.” You moan pathetically around Wooyoung, your walls throbbing around him as he starts his relentless pace. San was thicker than his partner, and he knew how to use it, making sure he brushes against your g-spot with each thrust. If you were able to think before, they’ve successfully fucked you brainless. All you can try to ground yourself with is the intense grip you have on the sheets below you, but it’s not enough to take your mind away from the mind numbing pleasure being given to you. “Shit, she’s perfect for us Woo, how could we have gone so long without this,” he grunts, grip tightening on your love handles. “I’m sure our kitty would love to be bred all day everyday,” he smirks when he feels the effect his words have on you. “Such a dirty girl.”

“I’m sure she’d pass out before we got our fill,” he laughs in between his moans, pulling San forward for an intense kiss. San’s hips stutter a bit, getting lost in the feeling of his lover and his potential lover. After getting a taste of you, they can’t let anyone else even think of touching you.

Hearing them above you pushes you closer to your peak, bringing your hand to your clit to let you reach it quicker. At the movement, San breaks away from Wooyoung’s kiss, eliciting a whine from the latter, to focus on you. “She’s close Wooyoung, and so are you. Be good for me prettys and cum.” With those words, Wooyoung whines as he stills his hips, shoving his cock as down your throat as he can, spilling his seed down it. “Mm, I think she loves the taste of you, fuck,” San’s hips start to stutter, approaching his eye as your orgasm finally washes over you.

You don’t remember much after you came around San’s cock. You vaguely remember San pulling out of you after he reached his own high, making sure he made his claim deep inside of you before Wooyoung began the aftercare for you. “You did so well kitty, you were so good for us.”“Just rest love, you’ll need it for later,” you hear one of them laugh next to you. You feel yourself being tucked in and cuddled on either side of you. After being pleasantly filled, your mind is left fuzzy and you can’t help, but fade into darkness from the comfort being provided.

“We’re gonna have so much fun with you kitty~”

691 notes · View notes

inourtownofhawkins · 1 year

Text

𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝖒𝖔𝖗𝖊 𝖓𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙.

Summary: You and Eddie have been broken up for some time, but you can't help but go over to his every single time you need a release, even if you tell yourself it's the last time.

Author's note: I don't know where this came from but enjoy lmao. This was basically on repeat while I wrote this. Thank you so so much to my beloveds @corroded-hellfire, @lunatictardis and @bowersbubbles for helping me with this <3

CW: 18+, swearing, some alluding to cheating/infidelity, switch!reader x dom!eddie, unprotected sex, one mention of a daddy kink, love biting/hickies, spanking, choking, basically just smut without much plot and there are peanuts in the room, but reader does not eat them they’re just there.

Word count: 1.6k

Any hate will not be tolerated, constructive criticism is welcomed.

The rain hitting your car was the only sound you heard as you sat in the driver’s seat, engine off and staring at the door to Eddie’s trailer. Despite your relationship with Eddie had been over for well over a year, you still frequented his trailer on an almost embarrassing level. Almost more than you did while you two were together.

Sure, you’d dated other people since him, Eddie had too. But both of you couldn’t deny the sexual tension between you two every time you were together; so instead of having a romantic relationship, both of you decided to have a purely sexual one. Despite how much you hated the dude’s guts, you still couldn’t stop yourself from wanting to fuck his brains out all the time, so that lead you to being outside his trailer. Again.

You took one last look at your reflection in the rear-view mirror before stepping out, the cold air instantly hitting your bare legs and causing you to shiver a little. You questioned if wearing a cropped t-shirt, a denim miniskirt and knee-high platformed boots was really appropriate for a February evening, but you knew you would be out of them in no time.

Walking up to Eddie’s front door, you knocked twice loudly, trying not to shiver too much. Eddie took his sweet ass time coming to the door, a sarcastic smirk planted on his face. “Well, well, well, this is a nice surprise. I don’t remember ordering a stripper.”

You rolled your eyes and pushed him aside to walk into the warmth of his trailer, instantly crashing onto his couch. “And a hello to you too, Eddie. So kind of you to finally let me in.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow as he closed the door behind you. “Sure, just make yourself at home, princess. There’s peanuts on the counter if you want a snack.” He opened the fridge to grab two beers before handing one to you.

You looked at the counter and made a face at the bowl of half-eaten peanuts, taking the can from Eddie as he walked around, opening it and taking a long drink. “Trying to get me drunk already? Usually, you wait a little longer for that.”

Eddie opened his own can, shit eating grin on his face as he leaned against the counter. “Well, we all know you’re more enjoyable to be around when you’ve had a drink.”

You raised your eyebrows at his comment. “Oh, is that so?” standing up from the couch, you down the remainder of your beer before tossing it to the side. You walk right up to him, your chest pressing against his. “I’ll show you how enjoyable I can be.”

Eddie smirked at you, putting down his beer and placing his hands on your hips. “Oh yeah? You gonna put a show for me, princess?”

You ghosted your lips over his, teasing him before tugging at his hair and pulling his lips against yours. He groaned into the kiss, his hands moving down to grab your ass, pulling up the ends of your skirt in the process. You couldn’t stop the moan that left your lips, that only seeming to edge him on further as one of his hands slipped under the fabric of your skirt, giving your ass a hard smack.

You gasp against his lips after the smack, smirking as you moved your lips to his neck, starting off with gentle kisses. Eddie groaned, leaning his head to the side to give you better access, pulling your skirt up around your waist, his fingers dipping just under the waistband of your panties, moving from your ass and towards your aching core.

Smirking against his skin, you opened your mouth to start sucking on his neck before biting down, causing a loud moan to leave his lips. “Fucking hell, sweetheart, you a vampire now?” he hissed, slipping his fingers into your heat, moving them quickly.

His fingers made you lose concentration, taking your lips away from his neck to bury your face in it to keep your whimpers as quiet as possible. You could tell Eddie was smirking as his fingers curled inside you, never relenting with the speed of them.

You could already feel your orgasm growing, your whimpering and moaning getting louder and harder to keep hidden. Eddie noticed your reaction and just as you were about to reach your release, he took out his fingers. You whimpered in response, almost glaring at him.

“Oh, you thought you could cum all over my fingers? Not tonight, sweetheart. I don’t think you’ve earned it,” he whispered the last sentence in your ear, causing you to shiver a little.

Your hands moved down his body, frustratingly taking off his belt and unbuttoning his jeans, fully aware of the bulge in his boxers. “Get on the fuckin’ couch, Eddie.”

Your firmness took him back, but he did exactly what you told him to, pulling down his jeans and boxers to his ankles before sitting down. He spat into his hand and rubbed his spit all over his hard cock. You smirked as you watched him, slowly pulling down your panties before letting them pool at your ankles, stepping out of them and walking towards him and getting into his lap.

He placed his hands on your ass, grabbing at it tightly. “You aren’t gonna take anything else off?”

“Not tonight, Munson. I don’t think you’ve earned it,” you echoed his words as you slowly sank down onto his cock, both of you emitting loud moans at the contact. Eddie’s hands gripped your ass tighter while your fingers tangled themselves into his hair as you slowly began to rock your hips into his.

“Sometimes I miss when you were more submissive, you were so much easier to corrupt,” he hissed through moans, giving your ass another hard spank.

“Awwh does daddy miss his little puppy?” you asked in a mocking tone, pouting your lips as you stopped your movements. You knew that would piss him off, but honestly, he was a better fuck when he was enraged. He was a hell of a lot rougher and more possessive, and you loved every single second of it.

You watched as something changed in his eyes, they became darker almost instantly. One of his hands moved from your ass and up to your throat as he began thrusting hard up into you, barely giving you time to react. “Listen here, princess, and listen fucking carefully,” he growled. “You’re fucking mine, and I will not hear that kind of talk.”

You could barely concentrate on what he had said as you had cum halfway through, both his hard thrusting and his chocking became all too much for your to handle. Your dominating side completely forgotten and you were willing to do anything Eddie told you to.

“Look at that,” he whispered, his hand on your throat moving to your cheek as his thrusts slowed. “You cum once and you get so cock drunk, you become that good little girl again.”

All you could do is whimper in response as you bucked your hips into him, desperate to feel more of him. He smirked up at you, using both hands to spank your ass before pounding up into you, loving every single sound you were making. You’d lost count how many times you’d cum, your legs shaking every single time. You could tell Eddie was getting close due to his thrusts becoming sloppy and his face burying itself in your neck.

Without hesitation, he began sucking on your neck and biting down into it, groaning loudly as he finally cums inside you, your final orgasm following shortly afterwards.

Through pants, Eddie gently kissed you, almost as lovingly as he used to when you were still together but you knew it was just his post-cumming brain forgetting that both of you could barely stand each other.

After the kiss, you climbed off him to stagger to the bathroom to pee. While you didn’t care too much about being filled with cum, you didn’t quite fancy getting a UTI. Coming out of the bathroom, you saw Eddie had already pulled his boxers and jeans back up and was grabbing another beer from the fridge.

“How’s Justin?” he asked, that irritating smirk planted firmly on his face.

You snort, pulling down your skirt and smoothing it down before grabbing your panties from the floor and shoving them up your legs. “He’s fine. How’s Betsy?”

He bit out a laugh as he took a drink from the can. “Touche.”

“This is the last time, Munson,” you told him sternly.

Eddie shrugged, flopping himself down on the couch. “You’ll be back as soon as you remember Justin can’t satisfy you the way I can.”

You laughed bitterly. “Oh please, you’ll come crawling back to me because Betsy doesn’t say your name like I do when she cums.”

Just as you’d finished the sentence, you saw car lights outside Eddie’s trailer. Almost as if god was mocking both of you, you could tell it was Betsy’s car – the loud pop music and annoying squeaking the engine made gave it all away. Turning to Eddie, you gave him the middle finger before taking a cigarette from the open pack on the counter and lighting it. With a smirk on your lips, you walked out of his trailer and took a long drag as you watched Betsy’s usually smiling face red with rage. You tossed your hair to one side, the dark purple hickey on your neck clearly visible.

You made your way to your car and drove off into the night, ignoring every single missed call from both Justin and Betsy that came in.

#spilled ink #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie x reader #stranger things fanfiction

87 notes · View notes

oleander-nin · 4 months

Note

Hi again, I'm that same person that sent that long ask earlier lol

Okay ESPECIALLY after the poll you put up, I wanna say again that WE ALL LOVE YOU STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP /p

I'm stuck between wanting to be heartfelt and encouraging or just shaking you by the shoulders and scream at you /aff /pos

Ollie, genuinely, don't push yourself too hard. Yeah we love what you write, but we understand that you're a person with a life. You do not owe us anything.

Forgive me if I'm wrong, or maybe looking too far into this, but I feel like you're a perfectionist? And that you feel you have to crank things out quickly and it all has to be perfect. Maybe you feel somehow indebted to give us things to read. and lemme tell you, it's very easy to get stuck in a loop of "do the creative thing for your followers or else". That is, if you aren't in that loop already. I'm sorry, know I'm assuming a lot, and I'm not meaning to pry.

I just say this because I recognize the way you talk in your tags or authors notes. I'm not an author, but I used to post art. I kept getting more frustrated with myself, (and I can definitely tell you are too). I lost motivation, and it stopped being fun pretty quickly because I kept thinking "it needs to be perfect" or "I need to create faster" all for the sake of an audience. So when you apologize, or seem to value your writing so little, it just makes me worry that you're in that same loop. Heck, I mean, I still don't make art often, I still have perfectionist issues and worry about how fast I can create. But it's becoming fun again, slowly.

I just hope that writing is still something you like to do. I would hate for your passion for writing to be squandered by the pressure and expectations of an audience. I know you have a lot going on right now, even if you try and act like you should be able to push through it and write, but please take care of yourself. If the February challenge is getting too difficult, please don't feel like there's any shame in limiting your workload. We'll be happy with whatever you make, and I'll be even happier if I know you actually enjoyed writing it. /gen

WOW this is long I'm sorry lmao. I've been at this for like half an hour. (Do asks have a word limit? Oops I hope not ahshjsk)

Oh also, don't worry about responding to this is an "appropriate" way. I know that this would be hard for me to respond to, so don't feel pressured to say anything at all. Even if you delete this, I'll be perfectly fine with it. /gen I just hope you read it and understand that we care about you. Please feel better <3

YOU TOOK THIRTY MINUTES FROM YOUR DAY TO WRITE ME THIS???? THE HONOR???? SOBBING THANK YOU

Breaking this down paragraph by paragraph cuz you deserve it💪(also I'm avoiding responsibilities rn shhh)

Okay first of all, thank you a lot. This entire thing kinda helped me realized just how bad I was letting myself get. In the back of my mind, I know I don't have to write, or that I shouldn't be doing it the way I am, but it felt like an obligation at some point, both from trying to repay you all in the only way I know how, and from trying to catch up with everyone else. Sometimes it feels like I'm falling behind, and if I don't keep going, I'm just going to lose everything.

I forgive you<3/lhj, but you're not technically wrong. While I'm not in the perfectionist in the sense I won't post something unless I deem it perfect and have checked over 8 times(what I used to do), I still tend to pick apart everything I've made and found every flaw. I realize this is a problem, and have been yelled at by many a teachers for it lol. But yeah, a lot of the time I do feel indebted, and I probably am stuck in that loop(Which is why I'm so bad at actually taking breaks). Don't feel bad for assuming, nothing you could say would really offend me, and you've been dead on this whole time.

I've been meaning to stop talking about how much I hate certain parts of what I write in the tags+A/N's, because I know listening to me whine and cry about something that doesn't matter gets annoying, but I'm not good at that either I guess lol.

I'm fairly certain that writing will always be fun for me, as I'm still looking forwards to doing a lot of the requests I got and one set of ideas I have, but finding the will to write it down seems impossible right now. It's like I'm stuck at the bottom of a sheer cliff and I can't start writing until I read the top. The main reason I'm so mad at myself for flopping so bad with this challenge is because I was able to do the Horrortober one just fine, as well as maintain a schedule for a while. It feels like I'm getting worse rather than getting better, and It's just making me frustrated with myself to the point of just wanting to quit(not that I think I'd be able to if I'm honest. I tried once, yet here I am, only 3 years later.)

Anyways, I'm just going to start putting more time into the writing instead of trying to force a deadline. I want to be able to make longer fics again, and to start TWOAL back up(I've been avoiding it because I want the chapters to start being 4000+ to mimic actual books). I want my writing to seem like it has care and quality, and not like it was produced by a factory. I have once headcanon style fic about the Vamp turts in the work I was spending days on to make sure it was decent, and it alone is better than a lot of stuff I've put out recently.

ANYWAYS

Thank you! I appreciate your words, sorry for the vent. I'll probably just delete this half later lol, but I needed to get some stress out.

#asks <3 #tw vent #vent #writing vent #sorry about this

12 notes · View notes

aeviare · 8 months

Text

𝔾𝕖𝕥 𝕋𝕠 𝕂𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕄𝕖 𝔹𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣

ALIAS / NAME: tiff BIRTHDAY: february 25th ZODIAC: pisces♓ HEIGHT: 5'2" HOBBIES: drawing, painting, cosplaying, rping, and reading FAV. COLOR: mint green, bright froggy green, pastel pink, pastel blue, deep ocean blue FAV. BOOK: coraline by neil gaiman and year one by nora roberts LAST SONG: just like you by nf LAST MOVIE / SHOW: halloween kills RECENT READ: um, do bkdk fanfics count lmao INSPIRATION: hawaii - my culture, artists on ig, genshin & honkai, my friends STORY BEHIND URL: "ae" is short for aether and his nickname. "viare" is latin for "to travel" and also "summer" which felt appropriate for aether FUN FACT: my hawaiian heritage has trace all the way back to the 1400's d;

Tagged by: @gentle-refrain (loving you loving you loving you)

Tagging, if you haven't done it yet: @attroxx @pertinasities @moondevours @wcyfarer @viigilant @cryoexorcist @infamiia @fatuispolaris

#❥ 🇹‌🇭‌🇪‌ 🇰‌🇪‌🇪‌🇵‌🇪‌🇷‌ 🇮‌🇸‌ 🇫‌🇦‌🇩‌🇮‌🇳‌🇬‌ 🇦‌🇼‌🇦‌🇾‌ {ooc}

15 notes · View notes

here2bbtstrash · 1 year

Text

✨ jihope month: valentine's build-a-fic! ✨

y'all thought i was done surprising you, huh????? 🤭

that's right besties! the fun has just begun 😈 while i'm gonna keep on keepin' on with filling your drabble requests, and writing and reading alllllll the delicious jihope content for the rest of february - i ALSO thought it would be exciting to try one more thing!!! (courtesy of me actually finding where the fucking polls button is lmaoooo)

WE'RE DOING A BUILD-A-FIC!

aka y'all are gonna tell me exactly what kind of one-shot you want, and then i shall bring it into the world 🥰 the only prompt i'll give you upfront is that, since it's seasonally appropriate rn, this fic will be valentine's themed 💋🌹💌 - but the rest is up to you!!!

basically, throughout this week i will be posting polls in which i will ask you to tell me what you want this ~valentine's fic~ to look like! pairing, genre, tropes, etc. - y'all will vote and then i will deliver!! 🍰

i'll use this post as the "masterlist" so to speak, so you can easily find all the polls and watch the concept for this fic take shape! i really have no idea how many polls i'll do - i'm kinda winging this lmao - but once i'm satisfied, i shall return to my cave to whip it all together, and i'll do my best to get it posted before jihope month is complete! 🌹

hope y'all are excited - i know i am!!! i really can't overstate how much i appreciate all the love you've shown jihope month already 😘 now let's get this party started!! 🎈 (and again, one million billion thank yous to THEEEEE legend @kithtaehyung for working her insane banner magic, we have no choice but to stan - LIKE LOOK AT THIS SHIT IT'S SO FREAKING CUTE OMG 😭)

poll #1: pick a pairing! - you voted: jihope x reader!

poll #2: choose a context! - you voted: enemies to lovers!

poll #3: select a scenario! - you voted: reader is casually seeing two guys-- who happen to hate each other!

poll #4: set your spice level! - you voted: HOT!

poll #5: finish with some flavor!

#mposting #jihope month 🌹#valentines buildafic 💘#about to drop the first poll so stay tuned!!!!! 💋#this will obviously be posted after valentine's day but whatever it's february #close enough lmfao i just got this idea last week

32 notes · View notes

nightmarecountry · 8 months

Text

GET TO KNOW ME BETTER!

repost / don't reblog

ALIAS / NAME: Wilds is our collective name and it's what I prefer atm since it doesn't make assumptions about who's fronting, but if you want to be super specific you can call me (the one you're usually talking to/the host/the main writer here) Coyote, or pretty much any canine or corvid or other animal-you-feel-is-appropriate themed nickname you can come up with. I can never fully settle on something for myself so. SHRUGS. I don't really have a name of my own as far as I'm concerned. Everyone knows me as different things and I like it that way.

BIRTHDAY: It's in February!

ZODIAC: Pisces

HEIGHT: 5'3. I'm not quite pocket-sized but I'm very easy to hold. Hold me. Please. I make a really good blanket.

HOBBIES: Hmm. I play ukulele (badly) and write poetry and songs sometimes. I sometimes mod breedfiles in a virtual pet game from the 00s for fun. I don't have much in the way of hobbies aside from writing/RPing/character creation otherwise, because I never have... energy...

FAV. COLOUR: Gold but I'm particular about the hue. I like oranges, reds, and yellow-greens too. This of course varies tremendously between system members so I'm very much just speaking for myself here. ☕ likes purples, blacks and greys a lot, for example.

FAV. BOOK: The Bedlam Stacks by Natasha Pulley.

LAST SONG: Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

LAST MOVIE / SHOW: Succ.ession. I'm on like episode 4 or something. I think I had to take a break because it shows some stroke recovery stuff and that's tough for me to watch given what happened with my partner.

RECENT READ: Uhhh I last read The Wake in the mansand series, I think... WAIT no I guess technically it's the Near Dark script LMAO.

INSPIRATION: I'm inspired by music and other people's writing a lot. Poetry and screenplays tend to really spark my muse for some ungodly reason. I don't know man. Really depends on who's around. My system also inspires our writing A Lot TM in ways that are fairly obvious once you get to know us.

STORY BEHIND URL: I knew it was a Corinth.ian centered comic so I stole the title before I'd even read the damn thing. Now I'm super glad I did because that comic is VERY apt for my Corinth in particular. Every time they release a new issue I become more canon.

tagged: @ohsunshine my beloved.

tagging: everyone i know is doing it already let me rest

#( ooc. )#[ the irony of me trying to answer this specifically for myself but I'm dissociating a bit. kjsnfkjsdnf ]

2 notes · View notes

soupy-cosmos · 1 year

Text

I posted 45 times in 2022

That's 42 more posts than 2021!

43 posts created (96%)

2 posts reblogged (4%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@soupy-drawz

@chichiai

I tagged 45 of my posts in 2022

#ducktales - 24 posts

#ducktales 2017 - 22 posts

#dt17 - 21 posts

#ducktales louie - 19 posts

#louie duck - 19 posts

#fanart - 17 posts

#doodles - 11 posts

#ducktales boyd - 7 posts

#boyd drake gearloose - 7 posts

#louyd - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 133 characters

#he's supposed to be wearing fingerless gloves but i always forget so sorry he's not in the one where it would actually be visible lol

My Top Posts in 2022:

Wanted to throw my Glamrock Bonnie design into the mix!

A lot of his design is meant to compliment Glamrock Chica’s since Bonnie and Chica have always been the first two to activate and stuffs idk I thought it seemed clever ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

102 notes - Posted January 22, 2022

screenshot redraw i did in October because for once I actually drew something around the holiday it’s based on

112 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

Drawing I intended to make in March last year and proceeded to not finish for several months appropriately titled The Gay Agenda

Alternately titled Leprechaun Aesthetic

116 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

@swindle-comic Louie in the rest of his classes post-chapter 2

Louie’s Swindle design is so fun to draw although I can’t comprehend his lil hair tufts lol

I did a few things different than my normal duck style to make it look more like the comic just for funsies ig, and for clarity I DID straight up trace the Ty doodle from chapter 3

134 notes - Posted June 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Older drawing I never posted

It was supposed to be for the HDLW Sibling Week back in like 2020 but due to the timing of the week I never finished it. Eventually got around to finishing it up some time last year lmao

The prompt was adventure and it looks like Captain Lost was in charge of the map again

293 notes - Posted February 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

13 notes · View notes

xellandria · 1 year

Text

⚠TRADE OFFER⚠ Art for Art

I’ve been thinking for a while that a lot of people don’t like inking/flatting, and that I’ve gotten reasonably okay at both those things and find them soothing and therapeutic, and that that might be both a commission niche and a contributing to bringing art into the world niche that I could fill even when my brain refuses to otherwise Be Creative. But everybody has a different process for their art and it’s hard to get a good handle on how well this would work (and if it does, what my pricing range on it should be) if all the practicing I’m doing is on my own stuff, where I know what I want it to look like and don’t have to guess which sketch lines are deliberate and which are stray marks that can be ignored. So! I want to use you, my lovely art mutuals, as guinea pigs... if you’ll let me.

Things I need from you:

a sketch (as refined or as loose as your sketches typically are when you consider yourself “done sketching” and ready to move on to the next step). PNG, JPG, GIF, PSD, or CSP files are all acceptable here, just make sure it’s the size you want the finished lines to be (which may require sending it to me on discord or through a drive or dropbox or something).

OR an existing inked image that you would like flat colours for (same file stipulations as above)

any notes the pic may need if you have specific designs on the end product (e.g. if you have elements you intend to blur or animate so they should be on their own layers or things like that)

permission to put the sketch+ink comparisons on a patron-locked patreon post, with appropriate credit+links (and possibly also use it as an example for real commissions of this type later, but I’ll come ask for permission again if/when that becomes relevant). also said links, if you’ve got a preference on what specifically I link, heh

Things you will get from me:

an inked sketch at your chosen resolution/dimensions to do with what you like, no credit or payment needed (or flats, likewise. or both if I’m feeling spicy!) and with no obligation to actually do something with it either (hey, I’ve been there)

the satisfaction of contributing to Science and also my understanding of my own process and its limitations

time frame unknown; I’d assume a week or less if I was actually taking these as comms but as I’m feeling it out right now and also have no idea how many of y’all will respond to this, it might be longer

This offer’ll be open either until next Monday (February 20th) or until I get overwhelmed with interest, whichever comes first. Mutuals, if you also have a mutual that would be interested in this particular experiment, feel free to send them my way as well. Mutuals once-removed? There’s a lot of brilliant artist friends that my artist friends follow and I don’t because I am a heathen who barely follows anybody (and also get weird about following new people for some reason) (and also I know I have direct art friends who I don’t follow for various reasons), lmao

#xellafail #art is hard

5 notes · View notes

scoobydoofenshmirtz · 1 year

Text

I posted 4,661 times in 2022

436 posts created (9%)

4,225 posts reblogged (91%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@winchester-reload

@chitaquadean

@castiellesbian

@season12cas

@betanoiz

I tagged 1,149 of my posts in 2022

#so pretty - 36 posts

#oscars - 18 posts

#flashing - 18 posts

#yeah - 14 posts

#self reblog - 12 posts

#lmao - 11 posts

#hiiii - 10 posts

#lol - 9 posts

#my sweet bean - 9 posts

#sr - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#funniest moment of the year was when this (posted by bots that auto share their tweets) had to be manually deleted from the spncast channel

My Top Posts in 2022:

But if a mouse sold NFTs of a kia sorento?

33 notes - Posted January 4, 2022

💕my most romantic fic recs💕

a little late for valentine's day but here's a special addition of my fic recs that I think are particularly appropriate for the holiday or if you're just in the mood for something with a lot of heart. sorted by length. as always, feel free to message me/send me asks about any of these fics. i'm always happy to talk :)

recs under the cut:

dean's coworkers vs the heteronormative agenda by cowboydeanwinchester T, 4,106

Premise (from ao3): Dean started working at a local auto repair shop in Lebanon, Kansas about a year ago. His coworkers don't know much about him. Except that he has a wife. Or maybe he doesn't. But he has a kid. Who is either a toddler or a high schooler. Who is either named Jack or Sammy. He also might have a best friend named Cas, but that also might be his wife.

Truth is nobody knows what to make of Dean. In universe, where nobody dies and Cas and Dean get domestic and Dean doesn't realize the mental hoola-hoops he's causing his coworkers to work through.

My recommendation: This outsider POV has a really fun look at Dean and Cas's relationship and centers around their anniversary. A nice quick read if you're looking for something light.

Sixpence by tiamatv T, 10,055

Premise: Dean and Cas get married, but things don't go exactly as planned.

My recommendation: Some angst stemming from a vital misunderstanding, but at the core a very romantic story with a great resolution.

Broadway Musical by Griftings M (very light), 12,453

Premise: AU where Sam stays at Stanford, Dean and Jo are destined to bear two sons to become the vessels. The angels try and fail to set them up, so Castiel decides to go to Earth to get them together himself.

My recommendation: A classic comedy full of romantic hijinks.

you're fooling yourself by cowboydeanwinchester T, 13,051

Premise: Dean who is now a mechanic and Cas who now sells goods at the farmer's market raise baby Jack together.

My recommendation: Super cute baby Jack fic (part of a series).

profoundly bonded (by law) by sobsicles E (only comes in at the end, the rest is very pg), 20,130

Premise: Dean and Cas are retired and living together. One day Cas asks to Dean to marry him (just as friends) and Dean says yes because he can't think of a reason not to.

My recommendation: Simple, sweet, domestic.

Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover by ImYourHoneyBee E, 26,300

Premise: With Cas back from the Empty, Dean is eager to share his feelings, but Cas doesn’t believe him. Dean will do anything to convince him.

My recommendation: This has the tag "Dean being a simp" which I think sums it up nicely lol. Just Dean doing everything in his power to woo a disbelieving Cas. Very cute with minimal angst.

A Hero of His Own Story by ioascc E, 26,779

Premise: A canonverse au of sorts on one of Chuck's other versions of Earth where Dean is not the righteous man, but ends up meeting Castiel anyway who joins him and Sam on hunts.

See the full post

41 notes - Posted February 15, 2022

Public Domain Day 2022

OMG forgot about Public Domain Day! Happy Public Domain Day 22 (2 days late)! Some really good stuff this year including the original Winnie the Pooh book, The Sun Also Rises, Bambi, and a ton of other works! As the years go by we get more and more sound recordings and films since their preservation obviously increased over the years. While only a few hundred thousand go into the public domain this year, that number will certainly go into the millions in a few years time. We're also nearing the talkie era and next year The Jazz Singer will be PD with a deluge of sound films to follow. Remember once a work is in the public domain you can do pretty much anything with it, so go ahead, get creative!

Some resources:

See the full post

64 notes - Posted January 3, 2022

fic recs for...no particular reason

[Image ID: Screenshot of Ben Wyatt from Parks and Rec saying "Pizza? Never heard of it," edited so that "pizza" is replaced with "finale." /.End ID]

Wild that after 15 seasons Supernatural never actually had a finale. Oh well, we have fanfic. Here's a collection of some of my fav fics that fill the void of never having a finale. Click here for my full rec list.

Recs under the cut sorted by category, listed by wordcount

Post-canon

dean's coworkers vs the heteronormative agenda by cowboydeanwinchester T, 4,106

Hey Stud by mrhd M, 4,715

swimming with the fish pond fishes by februyuri E, 25,674

Haircuts and Harboring Hope by City_Of_Paper_And_Ink T, 14,558

six hundred sundays (and many more) by sobsicles M, 15,689

Learning Curve (I just want to say I love you) by tsujiharu M, 20,206

*thunder road by dothraki_shieldmaiden E, 20,883

swimming with the fish pond fishes by februyuri E, 25,674

so good at crashing in by Wintertree M, 26,430

Fenario by ftmsteverogers E, 47,085

The Things You Cannot Change by marbleflan E, 67,867

Right Where You Left Me by outdean E, 93,581

*take the long way home by dothraki_shieldmaiden E, 95,043

take the bones, begin anew by JustStandingHere M, 103,254

dumbassery, denial, doing (the three d’s to the destination) by sobsicles E, 108,427

*written pre november 2020

Fix-its

We always were but never knew it by frightfullyrude G, 3,819

The Jensen Mistake by fellshish T, 5,087

foundations by rhinestoneangels (almondrose) T, 6,236

of fire and circles by rhinestoneangels (almondrose) T, 7,939

adam bites the apple by sicsempertyrannis T, 10,946

the valley of the shadow of death (keep walking) by p1013 E, 16,006

Waveform Frequency by LeverDrift M, 20,419

On Labor by a_good_soldier E, 24,661

See the full post

109 notes - Posted November 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

well then

165 notes - Posted April 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #long post

2 notes · View notes

teaveetamer · 2 years

Note

Have you seen that one recent Twitter thread about the FE3H AO3 analysis? There are some obvious issues with the representative quality of some of the numbers, but I still thought it was interesting. I haven't seen any Tumblr posts about it (at least not in These Circles™) and I thought that you might be the most appropriate person for something like this, but apologies if this is an annoyance. twitter (.) com/castamyre/status/1552034998643048449

Very interesting, thank you! Not an annoyance at all, though if you told me a year ago that I'd be the one people send statistical analysis to I probably wouldn't have believed you lmao. I'll drop the clickable link here so people dont' have to copy+paste

Some of these numbers are just fluff, like new words/authors since last year, and I would have liked to see a little more in depth comparison (e.g. how many new authors were there from 2019-2020, 2020-2021, and then 2021-2022) because just saying "there's x number of new authors now" doesn't really mean anything for comparison sake... if you leave something like this long enough then yes it's absolutely going to see an increase in word count/number of authors/etc. 1000 new authors sounds impressive but if it's compared to, idk say 6,000 in the first year it's a lot less so. The more interesting info to me is "how many authors is that compared to last year?"

Same deal with kudos. I'd love to see a comparison like "here was the median kudos for fics posted in 2019 vs the median for fics posted in 2021". The average and median here is going to be heavily skewed by early fics which naturally would have gotten much more kudos because there was much more activity. A median kudos stat for each ship would have been cool to see as well, because the kudos environment for different ships is so completely different it's really not fair to compare them. You're never going to post, like, a Dimitri/Balthus fic and get 50 kudos without some outside factors (like having other more visible ships tagged as well or being posted to an event/kink meme/whatever). Or kudos broken down by rating??? A G or T rated fic is not going to pull the same numbers as an E rated fic, that's just fact. As is, median kudos is basically a neat number, but it doesn't really tell me anything.

Also funny how the charts start out with "THE FANDOM IS NOT DYING" but aside from a small spike in February and an uptick in July the graph literally shows only ~20 new fics per... what is that, month? Week? On average. I wish the graph was more finely grained, it's hard to see what's going on when it only marks every third month. Assuming I'm even reading the thing right, because honestly it makes my brain hurt a little to look at it

I probably would have used the date posted instead of the date updated too, or I would have done one chart for each. Date updated naturally favors the latter half of the graph because longfics, multichaptereds, etc. could have been posted early but not finished or updated until months or even years later. It might also catch fics with only minor updates (since I believe AO3 does mark them with a new update date, even if it doesn't move it to the top of the archive). Date posted would be much more descriptive of when new fics are actually being added to the archive.

I'd say the rest of this data isn't really that surprising. I do honestly doubt that Shez is going to be moving up into the upper eschelons of characters written about though, considering Three Hopes is a spinoff and at least from what I've seen the fan reception has not been all that great. Maybe it's better in the more transformative minded fandom, buuuuuut IDK.

Also yay, Dimidue isn't in the top 30 least horny ships! And LMAO at Catherine, Shamir, and Rhea being the top three gayest ladies. And Dedue sliding into second for gayest dudes.

Obviously it doesn't really mean much (I mean, of course Catherine is the gayest chick when her only two ships of note are with Shamir and Rhea, and of course Ferdie is the gayest dude when his biggest ship is with Hubert and that ship makes up like 90% of Ferdie ship content) but it is hilarious.

5 notes · View notes

friedesgreatscythe · 2 months

Text

ARR speedruns are getting me through late winter into early spring, as well as allowing me a chance to come up with different characters to give AU Eorzea adventures. I've perfected it from about 10 days in February, to three days in the Eren Jaeger run last month, to possibly 20 hours total in my current Twilight Princess!Zelda run. I'm taking a break now because I'm holding myself accountable to productive decisions lol But considering the rate I've been going I'm almost posi I can manage at most a 24 hour run time.

I've perfected little ways to make it go by as quick as possible: start on Dynamis (NA data center that gives a massive exp boost) and always have food handy for another bit of EXP boost (if an FC invites you and has an EXP boost as well, all the better, but you don't have to rely on this); use NPCs in dungeons and pull big mobs if you're DPS or healer (the tank is beefy and the healer can keep up with him, but i haven't tested out the combo of you tanking + NPC healer yet); sign up with every chocobokeep at aetherytes so you can pass between settlements without spending much gil; use the airship service liberally to also save gil; if you go archer/bard, always use peleton to make sprinting faster; skip cutscenes (which i only condone here bc i've played the game before) and make the language Japanese and the text 9+ speed for the ones you can't skip. For the grand companies, the Immortal Flames or Twin Adders are the better choices since their headquarters are so close to major aetherytes (and will load in faster as opposed to Limsa, where everyone is all the damn time).

Using all this, I started the conjurer/white mage Zelda cosplay run yesterday at 12:30PM and got her to level 50 and unlocked Brayflox by 2AM. I did have to take a break for dinner, so that added about a half hour to the run time, and I did do two side dungeons for another boost of EXP, so that added to the time as well. I don't have gear good enough to solo dungeons at this point, but I can turn in the silver chocobo feathers I have to get some relic gear to help with iLvl and stat increase.

You may be asking yourself, "Krist, why are you doing all this?" And the answer is simply: so Twilight Princess!Zelda can get the Torgal mount and fit my own personal satisfaction of having a lore appropriate mount from her game lmao Also to keep seeing how fast I can get through ARR at this point.

The FFXVI crossover event lasts til May goddamn 8th. I have over a month to do it, but I have an awful sense of FOMO and an insatiable need to put pressure on myself to succeed, so this is how I've tried to come to terms with that. Even though I'm never satisfied with what I do. Even with all these accomplishments, I went to bed last night thinking, "What a waste of time, you're such a loser." And hey, that could be true, but as long as I'm applying myself to things that will actually help me in real life, I don't see the problem.

Which is why I'm spending the day typing up my rewrites draft notebook so I have that to work on in the oncoming draft.

Accountability. Productivity. Accomplishments. I'm capable of all of these, and now I just need to make sure I keep doing them, and that I include myself in these efforts. Looking after my mom and now my stepdad after his sciatica flare up has made me more aware of how easily and readily I'll set aside what I want and need to do for someone else. Reassuring my sister that I'm available to help whenever she needs it makes me aware of how quickly I'll reach out to someone else, but never think to offer that same support to myself.

My goal for the year is to finish this draft--polished, finished, ready for beta readers--by Thanksgiving at the latest. I know I can do it. I know I need to focus, to reach out to other writer friends who are on their indie pub journeys, or keep track of their progress and how they're handling themselves. I need to be more supportive to myself. I need to celebrate how determined I am, even through the hardship and discomfort of having no financial independence (and the BPD impulsivity of overspending when I do have money, combined with the PTSD sense of foreshortened future. Why save money when I can't imagine a need to support myself because I can't imagine wanting to live [which is different from wanting to die, it's simply a total apathy to the concept of existing and wanting to do so]).

I just... need to be better to myself. I need to jump to my own needs the way I do for others. I need to reassure myself the way I do for others. I need to set goals in the immediate and long-term future and meet them, and be proud of meeting them. I need to start looking at my life and what I'm doing in it as things that are good, and useful, and valuable, and necessary, and wonderful, because no one and nothing else is going to give me the life I'm desperate for. I don't get a second chance at this. It's not something I can start over. I'm alive now, whether I like it or not, and I have to keep dedicating myself to things that make me like it.

Even typing that out makes me scowl or cringe away from the very idea. But why? Why don't I want to make myself happy? Why don't I want to make my life better--to make my life my life, how I want it? Why can't I just... be a healthy person? Why can't I like myself--not even love, just like? Why am I repulsed by the very idea of taking care of myself? What happened to make me this way, and how can I fix it?

#adventures in living

0 notes

Last Seen Blogs

mrmichaelchadler

Michael D. Chandler Tumblr

fortunatelyunabashedbeard

Untitled

mialash

Toronto Eyelash Extensions

xriio

Alpha Turkey

mialash

Toronto Eyelash Extensions