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pearlsephoni · 2 years

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Thicker Than Water

Can also be read on AO3!

Rating: M

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Kagehina (Kageyama/Hinata), background Daisuga (Daichi/Suga) and Ukatake (Ukai/Takeda)

Characters: Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama, Koshi Sugawara, Daichi Sawamura, cameos from Takeda, Ukai, Yamaguchi, and Tsukishima

Word Count: 12,569

Summary: Being turned into a vampire robs Shoyo of the life he'd built. But Tobio refuses to be left behind.

A/N: Written for @displayjae as part of this year’s Kagehina Exchange over on Twitter! C/W: descriptions of blood. Further author’s notes can be read on AO3.

Everything hurt.

His cheeks hurt from the branches whipping at them. His legs hurt from how fast he was running. His hands hurt from the falls he kept taking. His head hurt from stress and panic and lack of sleep.

But most of all, his teeth hurt from his hunger.

He hadn’t been able to drink enough before the speakeasy was busted. The cozy space, tucked under a normal human bar, was called a speakeasy because of its clandestine nature. In reality, it was more like a shelter, a place for established vampires to feed in safety, and for newly-turned vampires to learn the ropes of their new nature.

Shoyo Hinata was almost as newly-turned as a vampire could get. Almost exactly two months ago he’d lost his humanity, his boyfriend, and very nearly his life when a rogue vampire ambushed him in the middle of the night, feeding on so much of his blood that he nearly died.

Maybe he should’ve felt grateful that he’d been turned into a vampire instead of being left to die. But when he remembered the heartbroken screams of his name, he couldn’t help but feel that he’d lost his life anyway.

And now he was running, forced to abandon the city and the life he’d lived in it, trying to reach the next city and its speakeasy. All he had was his phone, the clothes on his back, and an address scribbled in code on a napkin that was stuffed in his pocket, most likely soaked through from the rain.

Because of course it was raining too.

The rain at least helped to cover his scent and the sound of his running. But it also covered the sound of his pursuers, forcing his newly-heightened hearing to push past his hunger and fatigue to seek out the sound of following footsteps.

He didn’t stop running, couldn’t stop running, until he knew for sure that no one was following him. Five minutes passed without the sound of any hunters behind him, and only then did he finally let himself sag against a tree, the rough bark scraping through his clothes as he slid down.

“Found you.”

Before he could jolt away from the tree, a hand grabbed the back of his collar and dragged him, gagging and scrabbling at the tightened fabric against his throat, off a small ledge and into the underbrush.

He landed on his back with a grunt and a squelch of wet dirt beneath him. There was a rustling, then a glint of a knife that Shoyo just barely managed to keep from sinking into his chest. “Wait!” he cried, voice cracking around a dry throat. “Wait, please!” His hands flexed around his assailant’s, the silver edge of the knife just close enough to his skin to make it tingle.

His exhausted muscles struggled to keep the knife away from him. And then, just as suddenly, the knife jerked away, letting him finally wilt against the ground.

“Shoyo?”

He shot upright, shock and adrenaline pumping through him as he met a familiar blue gaze. “…Tobio?”

—————————————————————————————————

Two Months Ago

It was supposed to be a fun night out.

By some small miracle, Shoyo had managed to convince Tobio to go out for drinks with some friends. Drinks at a bar led to drinks at a club, which led to drunken dancing under flashing lights, which led to stumbling out of the back exit and pressing hands and lips all over each other.

It was juvenile and reckless and Shoyo couldn’t get enough. It took him back to high school, stealing kisses between classes and behind the gym building. Except better, because now they were adults who knew how to take advantage of slipping out like this.

“Tobio,” Shoyo sighed, arching into the messy kisses and light bites that Tobio was trailing down his neck. He could barely feel the grit of the bricks he was pressed against, though that could have been from Tobio’s work or from the alcohol. “Tobio, kiss me.”

“Not good?” Tobio asked, pulling away with doubt flickering in his eyes.

Shoyo shook his head so vehemently that his eyesight went a little blurry. Not that he cared—it was a small price to pay for reassuring Tobio. “Too good. I want…want more. Want you.”

“Me, too,” Tobio breathed, before diving back in.

It didn’t take long for them to start rocking against each other, Tobio sliding a knee between Shoyo’s legs for him to grind on. “God…can’t wait to get you home,” he groaned into Shoyo’s ear.

“Then let’s go,” Shoyo whined, “let’s go home, Tobi, c’mon.”

“We need to pay the tab, dumbass.” He scoffed at Shoyo’s wordless whine, but he also pressed another kiss to his lips. “I’ll pay, then we’ll go.”

“I can come—”

“If you go back inside, do you promise not to get back on the dance floor?” Silence fell over the alley as they stared each other down, before Shoyo sheepishly shook his head. “That’s what I thought. I’ll come out as soon as I pay, Sho, gimme a few minutes.”

“‘Kay…hurry!” He let Tobio go with one more kiss, watching him duck back into the mayhem with a small smile. He loved him so much. He couldn’t wait to get him in bed.

Shoyo was usually pretty observant. For all that Tobio liked to tease him for his lack of book smarts, he could at least make up for it with his ability to notice things.

But that night was different. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the lingering desire sparkling through him, maybe it was his overactive imagination helping him plan exactly what he’d do when they got back home.

Whatever it was, he didn’t notice the red eyes, pale skin, and heavy breathing until a cold hand sealed over his mouth. By then, it was too late. His flailing fists couldn’t land on any skin, leaving him helpless to his assailant dragging him further down the alley, to where it was completely dark. “Fuck, you smell good,” he heard in his ear, before a sharp pain stabbed into his throat.

Vampire. Of course, of course it happened this way. He’d lived in this city for years without hearing a thing about the monsters. Tobio was the only reason Shoyo knew anything of the monstrous underworld lingering in the city’s shadows, but it was fine, because, until recently, there hadn’t been an attack in decades.

That had been changing in the past few weeks, with more and more unnerving reports of people disappearing and returning dead and drained of blood. But a few weeks weren’t enough to shake Shoyo out of years of a routine sense of safety. He may have been observant, but he knew nothing about defending himself, and he hadn’t ever needed to.

“You don’t have to worry,” Tobio would always reassure him with a smirk, “As long as you’re with me, you’re safe.”

“Guess I’ll have to keep you around, then,” Shoyo would always answer cheekily.

Joke’s on me, he thought now, delirious from the blood loss. The vampire just…kept drinking. Shoyo didn’t even know he had that much blood in his body, and he wasn’t supposed to know. It was never supposed to leave.

He could feel himself growing weaker and weaker in the vampire’s arms, his punches landing with barely any force and his vision darkening around the edges. This was it. This was how he was going to die. I wish I’d said “I love you” before Tobio left.

“Hey!” The shout sounded muffled, like someone had stuffed cotton into Shoyo’s ears, but it was apparently loud enough to spook his assailant. He heard a quiet “shit,” before he was dropped to the sound of three sets of running footsteps: one running away, and two running towards.

“Piece of shit!”

“Dai.”

“Another rogue—”

“Daichi!”

“…Shit.”

Shoyo’s head throbbed where it hit the concrete, but the pain felt strangely distant. It was like every one of his senses was dulled from the blood loss.

“There’s so much blood. Why’s he bleeding so much?”

“There’s a club right over there, he must’ve been drinking.”

“Dammit.” Shoyo was shuffled around, before a tongue was licking over the teeth marks in his neck. He would have cringed away, but he couldn’t find any energy in his limbs. Why’d he lick him? Only Tobio was allowed to do that. Where was he? It felt like his boyfriend had been gone for hours. Maybe sleeping would make time pass faster. Mm…sleep sounded nice.

His eyes began to drift close, only to blink open again at the feeling of a hand briskly patting his cheek. “Hey, stay with us, don’t pass out,” the softer voice said. “Dai, we have to—”

“It’s too dangerous, Koshi!”

“He’s going to die!”

“We can’t save everyone who gets attacked!”

“No, but we can save him!”

There was a pause, then a low “dammit,” followed by rustling fabric and a deep sigh. “If I do this, you’re showing him the ropes.”

“Was already going to. Hurry, someone might come looking for him.”

Fear began prickling through Shoyo, thickening the mental fog that his blood loss had created. He only realized the lick had closed his wounds when something was piercing his neck again to pull out more of his blood. “S-stop…,” he slurred, “can’t…more.”

“Shh, we know,” the softer voice said, “it’s just a little.” Gentle fingers stroked through his hair, making him instinctively relax as the teeth pulled away with another lick at the wounds.

There was a fleshy stabbing sound that might have turned Shoyo’s stomach if he were conscious enough, before, suddenly, a hot, coppery smell was filling his nose. “Can you hold his mouth open?” the first voice asked.

Those same gentle fingers hooked behind his lower teeth and pulled his mouth open, before moving to grasp at his jaw. By the time Shoyo could’ve mustered the strength to fight against the hold, a thick, muscular forearm was suddenly being pressed to his lips, spilling thick, warm liquid into his mouth. Blood.

“It’s okay,” the soft voice soothed him when he instinctively choked against it, “drink. It’ll help.”

Shoyo didn’t want to be force fed a stranger’s blood. But he couldn’t fight against the fingers holding his mouth open, leaving him no choice but to believe the soft words. He fought to drink it before it could overflow from his mouth, until finally, the arm was pulled away with a sigh. “That should be good.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. We have to get him out of here.”

“The Crow’s Nest?”

“Ukai’s gonna kill us, but…yeah. Lemme take him.”

“Absolutely not, you just gave so much blood. I’ll take him, c’mon.”

Next thing Shoyo knew, he was being draped over someone’s back and lifted off of the concrete. He had no way of fighting. He just had to hope that these strangers really would help him with…whatever was happening. He couldn’t really remember.

But as he was carried away, he suddenly heard, even through the cotton, a distant shout of his name. “Shoyo! Shoyo, please!”

“Tobi…?” he mumbled, trying and failing to lift his head enough to look around. “M…m’ere, T…Tobi…”

“Oh, God.”

“There’s nothing more we can do, Ko.”

“I know, I just…I know.”

That was the last thing Shoyo heard, before he gave into the encroaching darkness and passed out on the stranger’s back.

His sleep was so deep, so thorough, that it felt inescapable. It was like he was trapped in his own mind, forced to hear the echoes of Tobio’s heartbroken shouts, his attacker’s whisper, his rescuer’s soothing words.

Shoyo usually woke up slowly, drifting back to consciousness while blearily blinking at the sunlight. But that morning, when he finally managed to claw his way back to consciousness, it was with a jolt. It was like his body knew something drastic had happened that required all of his faculties Right Now, Immediately.

His first instinct was to sit up straight, but when he tried, he found his wrists pinned down to the stretcher that he was lying in. Panic flooded his body as he first tried to pry his hands out of the cuffs, then tried to contort his body enough to get his teeth into the straps.

“Woah woah woah, hey!” His head shot up to see a man hurrying to his side with his hands held up in a placating gesture. Shoyo instinctively assumed that he was aging from his headful of gray hair, but as he came closer, he could see that the newcomer was, at most, a few years older than him. “Here, let me get those off for you. We just wanted to make sure you didn’t scratch yourself in your sleep.”

The panicked heaving of Shoyo’s chest slowed as he watched the stranger work. Exhaustion gradually replaced his panic, and by the time his hands were free, all he wanted was to go back to sleep. The stranger looked at him with kind brown eyes, an understanding smile pulling at his lips. “You must be exhausted. It’s been a rough couple of days.”

“D-days?” Shoyo repeated, panic creeping back in. “Wait, what day is it? How long have I been asleep? Where am I?” He finally looked around to take in his environment.

Despite the stretcher, it didn’t look like he was in a hospital room. The space was small, but warm, with two brick walls, mounted lamps, and dark wood furniture, including a large bed that the stretcher was wedged next to. Through the open door, he could see a larger space and a leather armchair, and he could hear quiet voices murmuring from somewhere that he couldn’t see.

It all created a nice rustic atmosphere that would have been comforting, if it wasn’t all so foreign.

“Hey.” His eyes snapped back to the stranger, who had pulled a chair to the side of his bed. “You’re okay. You’ve been sleeping for three days. You’re under a bar called The Crow’s Nest. My name is Koshi Sugawara, but you can call me Suga.”

“Why am I here?” Shoyo whispered, rubbing at the marks the leather cuffs had left around his wrists. “Who are you, where’s…?” His breath suddenly caught in his throat, making his voice thick with tears as he asked, “Where’s Tobio?”

The comforting look on Suga’s face darkened just a tinge with regret and sadness. “What can you remember, from before you fell asleep?”

Shoyo’s brows furrowed—that wasn’t an answer—but he obediently wracked his brain to sort out his memories. They were murky, unnervingly so. He could remember pounding music, the taste of alcohol, the feeling of Tobio’s lips parting his and his back pressed to a brick wall…

“I…I was at a club with my boyfriend…with Tobio…and we went outside…and he went back inside without me, I don’t— I think he had to pay our tab? And he didn’t want me to get distracted by the dance floor again.” A small smile tugged at his lips despite himself, though it was quick to fade as more memories came to him. “I was waiting for him, and…there was a…a…” He couldn’t say the word, why couldn’t he say the word?

“A vampire?” Suga gently prompted.

“Y-yeah…” Tears threatened Shoyo again, but these weren’t the same tears of panic. This was beyond panic. This was real, visceral fear, reaching through his memories and clutching at his throat. “They…he, I think, his voice was really…really deep, and he…he pulled me from the club and he…started drinking my blood. I thought I was…I thought I was going to die. How am I still alive?”

“Is that all you remember?”

Shoyo could remember more, but he didn’t want to, so he slowly shook his head. Suga watched him for a beat, making Shoyo feel caught, before he started speaking.

“Daichi and I saw the attack happening and managed to chase your attacker off before he could completely drain you. You must’ve had a lot of alcohol, you were bleeding so much, there was no time to get you to a hospital before you would’ve bled out, so…” He paused, and Shoyo noticed with some dread that his leg had started shaking. “So we healed your bite wounds, and Daichi…he gave you some of his blood.”

“His…blood? How’d you know my blood type?”

Suga didn’t say anything, just bit his lip and continued staring at Shoyo, who frowned back, brows furrowed again in thought. If it wasn’t for an infusion, then what…?

His stomach dropped with a leaden weight. “Are…are you two vampires? Did you give me…vampire blood?”

Suga nodded.

“So you…you turned me into a vampire?”

Another nod.

Ice froze Shoyo’s blood. “Oh my god…” He slouched forward, dragging his fingers through his hair. “I…I can’t be a vampire! I can’t—Tobio, he…does he know? Does anyone know? How’m I gonna go to work? Where am I gonna live? I can’t go back to Tobio, not as a vampire, but then where—? Shit, my mom—”

He didn’t realize how short his breaths had gotten, nor how much his chest was heaving, until Suga caught his hands and held them tight in a warm, firm grip. “Shhh, calm down and breathe with me, nice and easy. Can you do that?”

Shoyo’s instincts wanted him to snap, wanted him to pull away and burrow under the covers and hope this was a dream that he could wake up from.

But he didn’t. He didn’t know Suga well, but he knew panicking wasn’t going to help anyone. So he obeyed—he watched Suga’s breaths and tried to match them, until his breathing eventually slowed down.

“There you go,” Suga praised with a small smile. “Listen, I know this is a lot, and you've still got a lot to learn about how to get your thirst under control and how to be around humans without giving in to the temptation to feed. But once you do, you’ll be able to live a normal life! You’ll be okay in the sunlight, and we’ll show you ways of getting blood without endangering anyone. And then you can go back to your boyfriend, your apartment, your life!”

“No, I can’t,” Shoyo insisted. “Tobio, he…he won’t want me like this. And I can’t hide it from him, he’ll know.”

“What do you mean? Why would he know?”

“Because he…he told me his family are vampire hunters. Even if he isn’t one, he…he’s not going to want anything to do with a vampire.” It was a worst-case scenario, but Shoyo couldn’t think of any other possibility. They’d promised to love each other no matter what, but this…Shoyo being a creature that Tobio’s family had raised him to hate, to want to kill…it didn’t matter that he wasn’t a hunter anymore. Choosing to coexist with hidden vampires was different from loving one. How could Shoyo know that he had truly left that familial hatred behind? And how could he know that Tobio’s love would overcome whatever prejudice remained?

“Your boyfriend…” Shoyo looked up from his hands to find an alarmed expression on Suga’s charming features. “You said his name is Tobio? And his family are vampire hunters?”

“I…yeah?”

“What, uh…what is his family name?”

Shoyo frowned in confusion. “Kageyama. Why?”

Suga sucked in a slow, deep breath. “You’re right, you can’t tell him. Um…I need to step out for a moment.” He slid his chair back and rose to his feet. “Can I get you anything? Any water, any blood?”

“Will…will blood help me feel less tired?”

That understanding smile was already becoming comforting to Shoyo. “It’ll help. And so will more sleep.”

Only when Shoyo nodded and laid back down did Suga hurry out of the bedroom, and soon Shoyo could hear his voice join the murmurs. He squeezed his eyes shut as he pulled his covers up, ignoring the voices in favor of parsing out the remains of his life. If he had to…train or whatever before being around humans again, what did that mean for his work? How long would that training take?

And if he couldn’t go back to Tobio, then where would he live? How could he get his things? Would he have to see Tobio and break up with him? Reappear after disappearing for a few days and immediately break his heart? Shoyo could already see Tobio’s crushed expression projected on the backs of his eyelids. The idea of being the reason for it made him sick to his stomach.

Sleep came fitfully. He was haunted by all the different, terrible ways his reunion with Tobio could go. When he was eventually woken up by a soft, “Excuse us,” he felt even more tired than before.

His eyes opened blearily to see Suga at the door, this time with a dark-haired man peering over his shoulder. “Can we come in?”

“Uh…yes, yeah, of course.”

Suga smiled his thanks before returning to his chair at Shoyo’s side, and the new man just leaned on the back of Suga’s chair. “Hey, I’m sorry for…all of this,” he said with a smile that Shoyo wasn’t sure was supposed to be sheepish or reassuring. “My name is Daichi Sawamura. You can call me either Daichi or Sawamura, I don’t really mind. Are you…Shoyo?”

“Hinata. Shoyo Hinata.” Tobio hadn’t been the only person to call him by his given name, but right now, the sound of it coming from anyone else threatened to finally break the precarious seal Shoyo had on his tears.

“Nice to meet you, Hinata.” Daichi drew in a slow breath before he continued. “Right, so…Suga tells me your boyfriend is Tobio Kageyama?”

“Yes…?” The grim look the two exchanged made dread begin to seep down Shoyo’s spine and weigh on his shoulders.

He didn’t know much about the monstrous underworld that existed throughout Japan. Any time he tried to ask more than incidental questions, Tobio would shut down, become quiet and taciturn until Shoyo gave up.

What he knew was this: the monsters he’d grown up only hearing about in horror stories and fairy tales were real. The most dangerous ones were the ones hiding in plain sight, which was why the Kageyamas had chosen to specialize in hunting vampires—they looked like regular people until their hunger gave them away with red eyes, sharp fangs, and nails turned into long claws.

Tobio had been raised to carry on the family tradition, knew everything there was to know about vampires and the best ways to incapacitate them or, even better in the hunters’ eyes, to kill them. Apparently he’d been a formidable warrior, even being able to go toe-to-toe with his older sister just before she “graduated” and was allowed to move away and work independently.

That all changed when Tobio had unknowingly befriended a vampire. He’d never said much about him to Shoyo, just that he’d been his upperclassman in college. But the way Tobio’s eyes grew distant and his shoulders curled in as he told Shoyo about seeing his family hunt down a friend said everything Shoyo needed to know.

So yes, Tobio had grown up a vampire hunter. Yes, he was a descendant of one of the most prolific families in the field of monster hunting, respected by humans and feared by vampires. But he left that behind the moment he moved away, ashamed and horrified by the realization that the very monsters he’d grown up learning to kill were just people trying to lead their own lives.

And that was that. After all the phone calls from his parents trying to convince him to return, all the bargaining with his sister, and all the attempted visits from the few hunters in the city who were family friends, he finally cut ties with the hunter community back home and in the city. The only family members who stayed in contact with him were his sister and grandfather.

But that didn’t make a difference to Daichi. “Still…” He looked reluctant to go on, dragging a hand down his face and heaving a sigh before he continued, “If there is any, any chance of him learning anything about us and our community…any chance of his spreading that to other hunters, especially his family…you don’t know how brutal they can be, Hinata, how…how good they are at what they do. Any information getting to them could mean our entire community in this city being wiped out, including the humans who are allied with us.”

“But he won’t say anything!” The stern look Daichi pinned him under made Shoyo’s jaw clamp shut.

“Has he ever befriended a vampire? Did you have any vampires in your lives at all in the time that you were together?”

“N-no…wait, yes!” Hope bloomed in his chest at the sight of Suga and Daichi’s surprised expressions. “He had that vampire friend in college! I think his name was Oikawa, he—”

“Oikawa?”

Shoyo faltered when he noticed the surprise hardening into grief on Suga’s gentle features. “I…yeah? I’m pretty sure that was his name.”

“Hinata, did he tell you how they killed him?”

Guilt pricked at Shoyo, even though he didn’t actually have anything to do with Oikawa’s fate. “No…he never told me the details. And I didn’t want to ask.”

He’d only known Suga for barely an hour, but that was already enough for Shoyo to know that the derisive snort he let out was strange for him. “That was thoughtful of you. More thoughtful than any of them deserve.” A gentle squeeze at his shoulder from Daichi seemed to make him remember himself. “I’m sorry, it was just…awful. I was visiting him, he was going to spend the weekend showing me around the university. I was so excited to see him and the life he’d made for himself. And then I got there, and…and…”

“They burned him,” Daichi stepped in when it was clear Suga couldn’t continue. “There wasn’t even a body left when Suga found him. All that was left was Oikawa’s favorite ring and some ash that they’d missed when they cleaned up.”

“There was a trail,” Suga murmured, voice barely audible around how tight his throat sounded, “a trail of blood and ash through the gym that led me to the ring in the basement. He was always so quick, impossible to fool or pin down. He must’ve been impossible to catch long enough to stake, so they…they slowed him down…weakened him with holy water or silver until they could…”

He cut himself off with a deep, shaky breath, giving Shoyo a chance to murmur, “I’m so sorry, Suga-san.”

“Oh, Hinata, you’ve got nothing to apologize for,” Suga said with a wavering smile. “But do you understand what’s at stake for us? Kageyama doesn’t have any loyalty to us. If he had to choose…look, I know what we’re asking of you is unfair, but we wouldn’t do it if the alternative wasn’t so risky.”

“But he didn’t kill him,” Shoyo insisted. “I know what his family did was awful, but…but he left hunting because of what they did to Oikawa! He loves me, he wouldn’t…he wouldn’t…” The worries he’d voiced to Suga earlier came creeping back to haunt him, and the sad skepticism on Suga’s face told him the older vampire was thinking the same thing. “He loves me,” Shoyo whispered helplessly.

“I know,” Suga murmured, “and you love him. I hate that we’re asking you to let that go.”

“I can’t,” Shoyo repeated, fully aware of how childish he sounded, “I can’t let him go. He’s…I…we’re…”

“Just…think about it, okay?” Daichi asked in a voice that told Shoyo it wasn’t really a question. “You’ll have to spend some time in hiding to learn all the ropes—we can’t risk sending you out there with humans when you might not have good control on your hunger and urges to feed. In the meantime, get to know some of the other vampires here, and…this doesn’t have to be anything final, but…don’t reach out to your boyfriend. Contacting him will make your disappearance seem like a choice. That could make coming back more difficult.”

Shoyo wasn’t sure he agreed with that train of logic. But like so many things in the past few days, he found he didn’t really have a choice. Whether he liked it or not, he was only alive because he’d been turned into a vampire, and now he had to adjust to his new body and new identity. He didn’t know Daichi and Suga well enough to fully trust them, but he did know that they were his best shot at learning everything.

So he swallowed the lump in his throat, met Daichi’s eyes, and murmured, “Okay.”

—————————————————————————————————

Present Day, Forest at the City Edges

The last time Shoyo had heard Tobio, he’d been screaming in grief and panic that he could hear even through the haze of blood loss.

And now here he was, face-to-face with the man he’d thought of as the love of his life, the man whose heart he’d broken to protect both of them. The man who’d always sworn off of his family’s legacy as vampire hunters.

It was unnerving seeing him now, not only because it’d been over two months since they’d seen each other, but also because of how he was outfitted: all in black, with a wooden stake hanging from his left hip and a silver dagger hanging from the right. There was a small pack crossing his chest, no doubt for vials of salt and holy water, and a series of smaller daggers all over his body: the insides of his forearms, his thighs, and along his ribs, just from Shoyo’s first glance. And hanging from his neck was a silver necklace with a small wolf pendant: the symbol of the Kageyamas.

He was every inch a model vampire hunter. He looked strong, capable, terrifying, and it broke Shoyo’s heart to see him like this after years of hearing him argue with his parents on the phone.

Shoyo didn’t get a chance to say anything, though, not before Tobio threw himself at him with a gasped, “Shoyo!”

“Tobio, wait—”

“It’s you, it’s really you.” Tobio pulled away just enough to cup Shoyo’s face in his hands, and, oh…Shoyo missed this. It felt worse, somehow, to have a taste of his old life while knowing he’d have to walk away from it again, than thinking he’d never be able to return to it.

“You’re alive, I thought—! I thought…” Tobio’s words died the longer he stared at Shoyo, eyes flickering over everything that had changed…everything that marked him as a vampire: his red eyes, the elongated points of his incisors, and his longer, sharper nails. His hands fell away from Shoyo’s face, and he leaned away. “No…”

Shoyo always understood why he had to fake his death, no matter how much he hated it. But it was still jarring, seeing the reason head-on. He watched emotions flicker across Tobio’s face like a strip of film: joy, disbelief, shock, anger, and finally, grief. It was as though Tobio were hearing of his death all over again, except worse, because now Shoyo was watching him grieve him while staring him right in the eye. And seeing him physically reject him made Shoyo feel like his heart had been carved out to leave a hollow space inside him. “Tobio…”

“I didn’t know if I wanted it to be true or not,” Tobio murmurs, still staring at Shoyo in sad disbelief. “I heard there was a sighting of someone with your hair at the bust, but I didn’t know what to believe. I thought you were dead, Shoyo.”

“I…I know. Tobio, I—” His words choked off at the sound of distant footsteps. Those dark brows furrowed in confusion, but when Shoyo pressed a finger to his lips, Tobio thankfully shut up and listened. His human ears took a little longer to hear what Shoyo heard, and in that extra time, Shoyo slid under the bushes and pressed himself to the ground, which was just a tad bit drier.

He watched Tobio intently, and could see the precise moment he heard the footsteps: his eyes widened, his brows raised, and he looked around urgently, clearly trying to locate his fellow hunter. This is it, Shoyo thought in despair, he’s going to turn me in.

Those searching eyes fell back on Shoyo, who could see the war being fought within them. He braced himself for Tobio to run off, or to stand and shout out their location.

He didn’t brace himself for Tobio dropping to the ground and sliding in next to him. “What’re you doing?!” he hissed.

“Trying to make sure you don’t get caught!”

“Why?!”

“I’ve got questions that only you can answer.”

“But—!” Shoyo choked himself off at the sound of the footsteps getting closer, but Tobio just took that as a chance to continue.

“Shoyo, if we—”

Shoyo’s hand shot out to seal over Tobio’s mouth, just as the footsteps came across the ledge above them. Tobio’s brows furrowed, but he thankfully stayed still, keeping his eyes on Shoyo as though waiting for a cue.

The footsteps slowed to a stop, and Shoyo could hear the hunter shuffle in place, no doubt searching for any possible hiding places. By some bizarre stroke of luck, they didn’t look over the ledge and see the bushes, and after a few long, agonizing minutes, they moved on. Shoyo’s ears picked up on the next few pauses and searches, before they were finally far enough for even his heightened vampire senses to no longer hear them.

“Okay,” he whispered, “I think we’re safe.” His eyes flickered back down to Tobio’s as he moved his hand from his mouth, and his breath caught in his throat at the intensity he found in his gaze. “…What?”

“Just…you’re really alive.”

Guilty tears pricked at Shoyo’s eyes, and he bit into his lower lip to choke back the lump rising in his throat. “I…I can explain,” he whispered, “but not here, not now.”

“Then where?”

“I don’t know!” He slid out from under the bushes, and could hear Tobio following him. “But I’m not safe here, and you can’t come to the safe house I’m going to. So.”

“…Is it a vampire safe house?” Tobio murmured.

“Yes.”

“Oh.” Silence fell between them, broken only by the slowing rain. When it didn’t seem like Tobio had anything else to say, Shoyo tried to pull himself back together enough to leave, only for Tobio to grab his wrist. “Wait. Don’t go.”

“I can’t stay here! You know how many hunters are out here!” Shoyo hissed.

“I know, I know! Just…” Tobio’s eyes widened with an idea. “There’s a motel just outside of these woods. It’s a cheap little place; none of the hunters will think to look for you there. Get a room and leave the front desk a description of me so they’ll tell me what room you’re in, but don’t tell them my name.”

Confusion was swirling too many questions and doubts through Shoyo’s head, but the only one he could actually voice was, “I don’t have any money. And I can’t go there looking like��” He waved helplessly at his reddened eyes with his taloned fingers.

“Shit, right.” Tobio dug through the pack sling across his body, and eventually pulled out a handful of bills and a small blood bag. “Drink this first,” he ordered, shoving the blood bag at Shoyo.

“Why do you have this?”

“Less questions, more drinking.”

Shoyo scowled, but the lure of the blood was too strong to resist. He turned away from Tobio before sinking his teeth through the plastic, hungrily sucking the bag dry. By the time he pulled away with a gasp for air, his hunger wasn’t completely sated, but his nails had at least gone back to their normal length, which meant his eyes were probably back to normal, too.

“Done,” he quietly announced, turning back to Tobio and freezing under the conflicted grief he was met with. “What’s next?” he gently prompted.

“Um, here.” Tobio took the empty blood bag and pushed the money into Shoyo’s waiting hand. “Use that to pay. I need to meet with…with the other hunters before I join you. Otherwise they’ll think I’ve gone missing and send another search party out for me.”

“Okay. I, ah…thank you.”

Tobio didn’t say anything for a moment, just let his hand drift from the crumpled bills, up to Shoyo’s cheek. “…You look like yourself again,” he breathed with an almost-unnoticeable shake in his voice.

And with that, he hurried away, dashing through the woods with a skill that spoke to his lifetime of training.

Countless emotions warred in Shoyo’s stomach—joy, grief, guilt, gratitude, love, love, love—but he couldn’t parse through them in a forest crawling with hunters. Still, as he ran and hid and hurried to the motel, the ache in his throat and stinging in his eyes didn’t let up once.

—————————————————————————————————

The Past Two Months, The Crow’s Nest

Learning how to be a vampire was hard. Shoyo had figured it would be, but expecting the difficulty didn’t stop it from draining him. He didn’t need as much blood to sustain himself as he’d feared, and he could go for days, and eventually more than a week, without feeding and still be fine.

But when the hunger did arrive, it was unlike anything Shoyo had felt as a human. He was used to a growling stomach, maybe some lightheadedness on the very rare occasions that he didn’t eat for that long. There weren’t any stomachaches as a vampire. No, now Shoyo had to deal with his body physically changing without his control—his fangs would sharpen, his eyes would redden, and his nails would length into what he could only call “claws.”

And the changes hurt. His teeth always ached like he’d just finished a long dentist appointment, and the longer he went without sinking them into something to draw blood, the more that ache began to sharpen into actual pain, until his eyes were tearing up from the agony.

“Why do you push yourself like that?” Yamaguchi asked once. He, Yachi, and even Tsukishima were some of the few things that made Shoyo’s new life feel like it could be good. The entire vampire community had been incredibly welcoming and understanding of his growing pains—the worst scolding he’d received was from Ukai, the human owner of the bar the vampire speakeasy was hidden under. He ran the human bar while his husband, Takeda, ran the speakeasy and shelter.

They were one of a small number of successful vampire/human relationships, which made hiding the speakeasy easier. No one would suspect a human bar owner to be hiding vampires underfoot. “Quit trying to charm blood from me!” he’d grouched at Shoyo more than once. “I already told you, I don’t have any hidden back here! If Specs won’t give it to you downstairs, then you’re SOL, kid!”

“I just want to know how long I can last without,” Shoyo answered Yamaguchi from where he was curled up in one of the old leather armchairs. “If I’m ever going to go back to human society, then I have to know how to deal with this hunger. I don’t wanna suddenly snap and attack someone like…like…”

“You know we won’t let that happen,” Tsukishima said in a droll tone that belied his reassuring words. “You’re not the first newbie we’ve had to train around here. We’ll know when it’s safe to sic you back on those poor humans.”

Shoyo grinned weakly. “Thanks, Tsukishima.”

He pushed himself and he improved and he built new friendships along the way. But for every success, it felt like another snag from his old life tugged at him. His breaking point was nearly breached a month into his adjustment, when he came back from an experimental walk around the block and stumbled across Daichi, Suga, and Takeda locked in a hushed, intense conversation. He was going to leave them be, until he heard a syllable that sounded an awful lot like “Kag.”

“Kageyama?” he blurted out, making the trio jump and whirl around to face him.

“Oh, Hinata!” Suga laughed uneasily. “I always forget how fast you and Yamaguchi are. Um…how was the walk?”

“What were you saying about Kageyama?” Shoyo insisted, ignoring the question in a rare moment of rudeness.

Suga fell silent, but Takeda neatly stepped in. “Hinata-kun, the news is very recent, we still haven’t had anything confirmed—”

“Please, just…just tell me. Is he okay? Did something happen to him?”

“He’s alive and healthy,” Daichi answered, “but…we’ve received word that he’s begun hunting again.”

Shoyo froze, disbelief and shock crowding in his chest. “N-no, that…that’s impossible, he swore—”

“Apparently he hasn’t had any kills,” Suga murmured, “he’s only rejoined the hunter community for possible information on your attacker. He…he’s going to avenge you, Hinata.”

So he was fine. He hadn’t killed yet. In his relief, it took Shoyo an extra moment to process one of the words Suga had just said. “...What do you mean, avenge me? I’m not dead, why…?” The solemn expressions he was met with made his stomach drop. “No…no, he can’t…he can’t think I’m dead, it’s only been a month, I—”

“Hinata—”

“No!” he shouted, distantly aware of the tears falling to his heated cheeks, “No, he can’t think that, I have to call him or…or something, I—” He grabbed for his phone, only for it to be snatched out of his hand by Suga. “Give that to me!”

“I can’t.”

“You have to!” He snatched at it, but Suga just held it further, keeping his other hand braced against Shoyo’s sternum. “Do you know what that means? If he thinks I’m dead? Do you have any idea what he’s feeling?” Shoyo looked at the three of them, eyes wild and breaths heaving. “You told me not to contact him! You told me, and now he’s…he…”

“I know, Hinata—”

“No, you don’t!” He shoved away Suga’s bracing hand. “I’ve done everything you told me, I listened to all your advice and rules and lessons, because I thought I could go back to him at the end of it all! I thought that if I could hide it well enough, maybe he'd take me back. But now he thinks I’m dead, and he’s doing something he’s always hated, and it’s all my fault, it’s all our fault, we did this to him!” Tears fell in a steady stream as he ran clumsy fingers through his hair. “What’s the point of all this? What am I working towards now? Why didn’t you just leave me to die back there?”

“Hey, you don’t mean—”

“Don’t touch me!” Shoyo jerked away from Daichi’s outreached hand. “Just…just leave me alone. I…I need…” He stumbled away in a daze, closing the door to his room behind him and sinking to the floor, where he finally gave in to the sobs clawing up his throat.

It took him a month to fully recover from the news. A month to finally accept his phone back from Suga and agree to a walk with him. A month to exchange apologies and really accept them.

And then, the following night, the bust happened. Vampire hunters descended on the Crow’s Nest, forcing their way into the speakeasy and sending the vampires inside scattering, some rushing through escape routes, others not able to escape at all. Even those who were able to escape found themselves pursued by more hunters hiding in wait outside of the bar.

The last thing Shoyo remembered was the fear on Yamaguchi’s face as he stuffed the address to the Cat’s Tail into Shoyo’s hand and shoved him in the opposite direction. “We need to split up,” he gasped, “I’ll see you there. Go!” The next thing Shoyo knew, he was sliding on rain-slick grass, trying to reach the shelter of the trees before the hunters could draw their ranged weapons.

It all happened in ten minutes. Ten minutes, and the delicate balance Shoyo had found was shattered into sharp, tiny pieces.

—————————————————————————————————

Present Day, Unknown Motel

Shoyo felt like he was in a fog as he showered and tried to get the worst of the mud out of his clothes. The past few hours were slow to settle in his mind, slow to fully solidify as being real.

He couldn’t close his eyes without seeing flashes of Narita’s bloodied face, terror contorting Yamaguchi’s kind features, Daichi shoving Shoyo behind him to give him more time to escape. How many of them were still alive? How many were going to be at the next safe house? How many would he never see again?

He didn’t realize he’d started crying until he looked up from his shirt soaking in the sink and caught sight of his swollen, reddened eyes. He almost looked…normal, like this. But he could feel the tips of his canines beginning to press against his lips, and if he looked too closely, he could see a thin line of red splitting his pupils from his honey-brown irises. Just like he’d thought, the blood bag Tobio had given him wasn’t quite enough.

Tobio…seeing him again, so suddenly and during such a jarring night, was both the sweetest relief and deepest agony he’d ever felt. It was like all the emotions he’d tamped down at the mention of him for the past two months had burst through his carefully-built walls to overwhelm him. Two months wasn’t enough to wipe away all the love that had grown in their time together, but Shoyo hadn’t expected so much of it to still remain. The realization just made him more certain that Tobio was the love of his life…and that he couldn’t have him anymore.

It didn’t matter that Tobio had looked both overjoyed and devastated at the sight of him. It didn’t matter that he had decided to save him instead of turning him in. And it definitely didn’t matter that he had directed him here, and told him to expect him to join later.

It couldn’t matter. He wasn’t strong enough for it to matter. He couldn’t—

The sound of the key card being scanned snapped him out of his spiral. Anxiety and urgency pumped through him, making him forget his state of undress in favor of seeing Tobio again. Because he wasn’t strong enough, and because he still had so much love in him.

The room’s door was swinging shut as Tobio let a heavy backpack—he definitely didn’t have that in the forest—fall to the ground. Between the click of the door and the thud of the bag, he must not have heard Shoyo’s quiet steps from the bathroom, because he jumped when he looked up and met his eyes. “…Sho.”

“Hi,” Shoyo offered, a little lamely. “I, uh…thank you for telling me about this place, I wouldn’t—oof!”

In the space of his stuttering words, Tobio had crossed the room and grabbed at Shoyo, wrapping tight arms around his waist and burying a cold nose into his neck. Shoyo had forgotten that he was only in his boxers, until the shock of Tobio’s skin against his own broke the seal he’d tried to press over his tears.

A single squeeze was all it took for Shoyo to dissolve into sobs, his arms finally clinging to Tobio’s wet jacket. “I’m sorry,” he sobbed into the stale air, “I’m so sorry, Tobio, I’m sorry, I didn’t want this, any of it, I—”

Tobio was silent as he held Shoyo, and he stayed silent as Shoyo babbled, pulling away just enough to cradle Shoyo’s tear-soaked cheeks in his hands. The tender, familiar touch only made Shoyo cry even harder, and his apologies became even harder to understand, until suddenly, there were cold, dry lips pressed to his.

The kiss didn’t stop his tears, but it did stop his words, apologies abandoned in favor of kissing Tobio back with a soft moan. Oh…oh, he’d missed this. Kissing Tobio again felt like his center of gravity was being set back on axis, like the pieces of himself that he’d felt being chipped away since becoming a vampire were finally being put back together.

When Tobio eventually pulled away, it was only his gentle hold that kept Shoyo from chasing his lips, forcing himself to be satisfied with the careful, calloused hands on his cheeks.

His eyes slowly fluttered open to meet Tobio’s. The love, awe, and disbelief flooding his midnight blue eyes made Shoyo want to both hide and soak in that gaze forever. “It’s really you,” Tobio murmured, “you’re really alive. How?”

“I’m sorry—”

“Stop apologizing,” Tobio groaned, leaning his forehead against Shoyo’s, “just tell me where you’ve been.”

“I…I…” He shivered under Tobio’s hands sliding from his cheeks, along his collarbones, and down his bare arms. “...Can I get dressed first?”

Tobio pulled away and blinked. “Oh. Right. I, uh…brought some stuff.”

“...What stuff?”

With rosy cheeks, Tobio turned to his abandoned backpack and dug out a pair of boxers and a large sweatshirt that Shoyo immediately recognized as his favorite sweatshirt to steal from Tobio. ��I…I figured you didn’t have anything to change into.”

It wasn’t right, how much Tobio was still taking care of him after everything he’d put him through. Nothing Shoyo could think of felt like enough to really express his gratitude and guilt, and in the end, he could only take the offered clothes with a quiet, “Thank you.”

They stood there for a silent moment, before Shoyo gave in to the burst of boldness he felt and rose to his toes to press a kiss to Tobio’s cheek. By the time Tobio’s hands were raising to hold him close, Shoyo was already ducking into the bathroom.

The lump in his throat that had disappeared with his sobs returned with a vengeance as Shoyo realized that the boxers were a pair that he’d had to leave behind in their shared apartment, along with…so much of his things from his old life. It was strange, thinking of it as “old” after only two months, but with everything that had changed within that time, it all felt much more distant.

He pulled on the clean clothes with a quiet sigh of relief—there was no way he was going to be able to really get the mud out of his other clothes—and he took an extra moment to bury his nose into the collar of the sweatshirt.

Sure enough, it smelled just like Tobio, though Shoyo wasn’t sure if the extra strength of the soothing smell was because it had been worn recently or because of his own heightened senses. Whatever the reason, the smell made his eyes prick with fresh tears, and he had to press the heels of his hands to his eyes with a deep breath before he stepped back into the room.

He was met with the sight of Tobio sitting on the edge of the bed in front of the bathroom, staring hard at his hands until he looked up at the door opening. He’d taken off his rain-soaked coat, revealing a checkered button-down and jeans where Shoyo had expected to see his hunting gear. He must have showered and changed before coming.

As soon as his eyes landed on Shoyo all swallowed up in his sweatshirt, they filled with a longing that was a perfect match to the ache in Shoyo’s throat and chest. “Better?” Tobio asked, so soft that Shoyo knew he was hiding his own ache of tears.

“Better.” Shoyo fiddled with the cuffs of the sweatshirt, pulling them over his hands and stuffing them into the big pocket. “I, um…”

God, he hated this. He hated this awkwardness, the shadow of the elephant in the room. But he couldn’t complain about it, not when he was the reason for it. He just…missed how effortless things felt with Tobio, before…everything.

Understanding softened the edge of longing in Tobio’s eyes, before he reached for Shoyo with open hands. Before Shoyo could even think of resisting, he found himself stepping close and letting Tobio burrow into his chest, his hands coming out of hiding to stroke through dark hair. The familiar embrace eased the lump in his throat enough for him to whisper, “I missed you.”

“Me, too,” Tobio mumbled into the sweatshirt. “God, Sho, I…I grieved you. I thought you were dead.”

“I almost was.”

Tobio pulled away just enough to gaze up at him, his features lined with confused hurt. “Why did you leave me? What did I do?”

“Nothing!” Shoyo immediately reassured him. His hands came around to cup his cheeks and brush at his damp lashlines. “It wasn’t what you did, Tobio, it was…it was who you are. Who your family is.”

When understanding entered his expression, it didn’t soften at all. If anything, it hardened the edge of his hurt. “What happened, Sho? I went inside to pay and came out to see your blood on the bricks and on the ground. There was so much, and you didn’t answer me, and I…I…” His voice caught as his eyes shone with unshed tears, and Shoyo instinctively bundled him close, pressing kisses to his hair.

“I didn’t want this,” he murmured when the shaking beneath his hands eased up. “Please believe me, Tobio, I never wanted this. But…but I was still lucky.” Tobio’s shoulders stiffened. “I really did almost die. If Suga-san and Daichi-san hadn’t found me…”

“Were they the ones who changed you?”

“I…yeah. Yeah, they were.”

Shoyo told Tobio everything, murmuring everything that had happened to him since his disappearance: the panic of his change, the grief of what he’d have to do in order to protect the entire vampire underworld, the struggle of adjusting to his new life and the longing he felt for his old life. He managed to keep his voice mostly steady through it all, until he started speaking about hearing that Tobio had returned to vampire hunting.

“It…it hurt, knowing you’d gone back,” he whispered with a shaky breath. “And it just made Daichi-san believe that he was right to keep me from returning to you. He said that if I had, it would have made it easier for you to hunt the rest of us down.”

“Bullshit,” Tobio growled. Shoyo’s heart clenched at the fierce anger blazing in Tobio’s eyes when he looked up at him for the first time since he’d started speaking. “I only went back to avenge you, Sho. If you’d come back, I would’ve helped you. Did…did you really think I would turn on you?”

“I don’t know!” Shoyo cried out, his voice cracking. “I didn’t know what to think! Everything was so new and scary, and I saw how terrified everyone was when they found out I was dating a Kageyama, and I thought you still hated vampires even if you weren’t hunting them, so I just…I just…” The words melted into tears, his sobs ringing around the room even as he pressed his hands to his face.

“Hey, hey,” Tobio hushed, pulling Shoyo into his lap. Shoyo went easily, letting his hands fall from his face to burrow into Tobio’s shoulder instead, his legs slung across his lap as he was pressed into Tobio’s side. It took an embarrassing amount of time for Shoyo to get his sobs under control, but Tobio didn’t say a word, just held him close and rocked him in a slow, soothing rhythm.

“It was all for you,” he said in a low voice once Shoyo quieted down. “You know that, right? I only went back because I thought it was the only way I would be able to find your killer and find some sort of justice for you.”

“Then why were you at the bust?” Shoyo croaked. “The vampire who attacked me was a rogue, no one in the speakeasy knew who he was. They didn’t deserve what happened tonight.”

“I didn’t know that. Ushijima-san just told me they had found a central hub for vampires in the city, and I thought that would be my best chance at learning something. I was going to capture someone and get information from them, or look for anything at the speakeasy if no one was there.” His arms tightened around Shoyo, and when he continued, his voice sounded tighter, too. “I’m sorry, I know they were your friends, but…I didn’t care about the vampires, and I didn't care about the other hunters. I just wanted to find answers.”

“...And now?”

“I still want to hunt down the bastard,” Tobio admitted. “But I’ll give that up, I’ll give it all up, if I can have you again. I love you, Sho. I love you more than anything, more than any hate I was raised with for vampires.” He coaxed Shoyo away from his shoulder to meet his eyes. All the love and longing and grief that filled his infinite blue gaze still made Shoyo’s heart squeeze. How had he ever gotten used to feeling so much love? How had he ever taken it for granted?

“I love you, too,” he murmured. “I’m so sorry, Tobio. I only stayed away because I was told I’d be putting the entire vampire community at risk if I went back. An entire population…,” he craned his neck to brush their noses together, “and I still wanted to go back to you, every single day.”

“The one time I’d want you to be selfish…”

“Shut up!” Shoyo laughed, rewarded with the first smile he’d seen from Tobio all night. Tobio stilled when his laughter died down, his eyes flickering across his smiling features.

They didn’t say a single word, but their old sense of implicit understanding found them leaning in to each other for another kiss.

It was just as good as the first one, even better now that they’d actually talked a bit. The future was still uncertain. Shoyo still didn’t know how he’d get back to a point of relative normalcy. But Tobio still loved him, despite everything, and he still loved Tobio. After all of the fear and shock and grief of the night, it was a small relief to give in to Tobio and let their love for each other just…be enough.

This time, when Tobio pulled away, Shoyo followed, capturing his lips and making them part for his tongue. The groan that earned him just made him press even closer, adjusting himself until he was straddling Tobio’s lap. He ran his fingers through dark hair while he felt calloused palms grip at his thighs where his boxers had ridden up. The heat that built between them felt like a drug—it had been so long since he’d felt something other than fear and a hunger he could barely control. The hunger he was feeling now felt good, familiar, nostalgic, even.

But there was something else, something foreign. Tobio tasted…better, somehow. Richer. And when Shoyo sucked in a breath through his nose, he smelled something delicious, that made his teeth ache. If he hadn’t been so desperately relieved to hold and kiss Tobio again, he might’ve realized something was wrong sooner. As it was, he didn’t connect the dots until he felt his nails start to lengthen, and horror soured the desire that was clawing at him.

He abruptly shoved Tobio away with a gasp, sending himself tumbling to the floor. “I’m sorry,” he gasped for the umpteenth time that night, scrambling backwards until he collided with the wall, “I’m sorry, I just…I’m hungry.”

It took an extra beat for the surprise on Tobio’s face to be replaced with grim understanding. “The blood bag—”

“—helped, but it wasn’t enough to last,” Shoyo said. His tongue felt heavy in his mouth now that he remembered his hunger. “I just…need a minute…or an animal…”

“Animal blood won’t help.” Tobio’s words carried the tone of a child reluctantly reciting their lessons in class. “You need human blood if you want to feel better.”

“I don’t really have any of that,” Shoyo bit out, “unless you have another blood bag?”

“No, but—”

“Then just give me a minute—”

“Dumbass, let me finish.” The familiar, taunting endearment surprised Shoyo into silence, a silence that, despite his eyes widening with surprise at himself, Tobio knew to take advantage of. “I don’t have a blood bag, but…you’ve got me.”

“No.” The refusal flew from Shoyo’s lips on instinct. “No, I can’t, I…I could hurt you, I don’t have enough practice drinking directly from someone, I…” His words died as he watched Tobio unbutton his shirt and reveal that he wasn’t wearing the silver necklace Shoyo had seen in the woods. Shoyo hadn’t paid much mind to the fact that he couldn’t feel it earlier, but now…“Where’s your necklace?”

“Here.” Tobio dug in a pocket and pulled out the silver chain, the wolf pendant glinting in the dim motel room lighting. “I trust you. And if you do lose control, I can keep this in my hand. It’ll burn, but just enough to shock you back to yourself.”

Maybe it was his hunger making him think things through even less than usual, but as his throat clicked and his teeth ached, Shoyo couldn’t find any holes in Tobio’s logic. “Swear you’ll stop me? If I don’t stop myself?”

“Yeah. I promise.”

Tobio held his empty hand out to Shoyo, who slowly took it and pushed himself up from the floor. He eyed Tobio’s other hand where it was pressed against the sheets behind him, the silver chain glinting around his knuckles. The sight made him a little nervous, but then again, that was the point. He was careful as he straddled Tobio’s lap again, trying to push his nerves aside to focus on the broad hand sliding under his sweatshirt and rubbing soothing arcs over his bare back. “I’ve got you,” Tobio whispered once Shoyo was fully settled.

Shoyo’s throat clicked again around his nervous swallow, his breath shaky as his hands trailed a path from Tobio’s cheeks to his exposed collarbones. He was so warm, so safe. It felt wrong to feed on him like this. “Are you sure?” Shoyo whispered one more time.

“Yes. I want this, Sho.”

The conviction in his words and his dark eyes helped steady Shoyo’s breathing just a bit, before he leaned in.

He didn’t go straight for Tobio’s throat. He didn’t know if being fed on could feel good, but he was going to do his best to do that for Tobio. So he started with a kiss on his lips, light and chaste, before trailing kisses along his jaw, under his ear, down his neck…until his lips grazed the skin just over Tobio’s leaping pulse. On the other side of Tobio’s neck, Shoyo slid a hand up to cradle his jaw and head, giving some support to the way Tobio was presenting his neck to him.

And then, with one last kiss brushed to his throat, Shoyo let his sharpened canines pierce his unmarred skin.

As soon as he bit down, Shoyo could hear a strangled groan rumble beneath his lips. He was hurting him, Tobio was in pain and it was all his fault. But he had to see this through, now. Tobio would be pissed if the pain was for nothing.

Shoyo squeezed his eyes tight against the pained groans he could feel as much as hear, trying to make this as painless as possible. He was sucking the blood slowly to try and lessen Tobio’s discomfort, and when the groans faded away, relief flooded him…only for confusion to overtake it.

Tobio had started groaning again, but it was different this time. These groans were familiar to Shoyo. These groans were making heat begin to creep back through Shoyo’s veins. Tobio’s blood even tasted a little sweeter, though Shoyo wasn’t sure if that was really the flavor or his own relief making it taste better.

Somehow, this was good for Tobio. The sounds he was making were not the noises someone in pain would make, and the way he was relaxing in Shoyo’s hands couldn’t be more different from Shoyo’s memories of fighting against his assailant. That was good, really good, but also really confusing.

Eventually Shoyo had drunk his fill, and he pulled away to lick at Tobio’s wounds and make sure they healed well. Only then did he look at Tobio’s face, and what he saw made his cheeks catch on fire and his blood feel electric.

Tobio was flushed a gorgeous pink, his eyes were heavy-lidded, and an almost dopey smile was pulling at his parted lips. “...Tobio?” Shoyo whispered, brushing his jagged bangs off his forehead. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah…yeah, I’m…” Tobio’s eyes drifted down to Shoyo’s blood-stained lips, and Shoyo felt another pulse of heat when he saw Tobio’s tongue dart out to lick at his own lips. “I’m good,” he finally finished, “really good. You didn’t tell me that could feel good.”

“I didn’t know.” He licked at the blood still staining his lips and wiped at whatever had dripped from the corner of his mouth. The entire time, Tobio watched with a mix of curiosity and desire.

“Does it have to be consensual?”

“Maybe that’s part of it. But I’ve fed from willing people, and they never responded like that. I assumed it didn’t hurt, but it didn’t feel good either.”

“Oh.” Tobio’s eyes lazily drifted back up to Shoyo’s, his dopey grin sharpening into something a little more intentional. “Lucky me.”

The hand that had slipped under Shoyo’s sweatshirt now pressed against his back, curving him closer to Tobio until he could lean in and brush a kiss to the hollow of Shoyo’s throat. And as Shoyo shifted further in Tobio’s lap, he could finally feel the best confirmation of his suspicions: the hard ridge of Tobio’s arousal nudging against him, pulling a soft groan from Tobio when Shoyo gave an experimental rock of his hips. “That really turned you on?” Shoyo asked with a bewildered laugh.

Tobio hummed, pressing kisses up Shoyo’s neck in a reversal of the path Shoyo had traced down his neck. “It felt good…and I’ve missed feeling you touch me.”

Shy arousal prickled through Shoyo as he trailed his fingers along the open collar of Tobio’s shirt. “If…if you’re feeling okay…I could touch you more.”

It was strange, even a little embarrassing, to proposition Tobio so bashfully. But then Tobio pulled away to pin Shoyo under his gaze, and the heat of his eyes burned away any shyness that had snuck into him. “Please,” Tobio breathed, letting his necklace fall to the floor with a soft clink, “please, let me have you again.”

Pure want snagged at Shoyo’s breath, leaving him speechless as he tugged his sweatshirt off and welcomed Tobio’s hands and lips on his exposed skin.

That cheap, unknown motel had turned into a bubble for them, sheltering them from the feud between vampires and their hunters, from the nebulous question of their future together. The bubble was delicate, temporary, and Shoyo knew it could pop at any moment.

But as Tobio pressed his naked body to the coarse sheets and fed his other hunger, Shoyo pushed away everything that awaited them outside those four walls, and let himself be swept back under the waves of love and desire that had been held behind a dam for too long.

—————————————————————————————————

The Next Morning, Unknown Motel

When Shoyo began to wake up, he thought for a full minute that he was still in a dream. Where else would he feel Tobio’s warmth at his back, his arms snug around him, and his breath tickling his ear?

Then he blearily took in the unfamiliar room, felt the unfamiliar sheets against his bare skin, and finally remembered everything that had happened the night before. The bust, the chase, the reunion with Tobio…it all clashed through his mind along with a whirlwind of fear, grief, joy, love, and uncertainty.

He didn’t want to wake up. He didn’t want to leave this shelter, this bubble, that he’d created with Tobio. A sleepier part of his mind wanted to turn in Tobio’s arms and burrow into his chest to avoid the sunlight.

But he barely began to flip over before he heard a sleep-roughened voice ask, “You awake?”

“No.”

A soft laugh ruffled his hair, before slow, lingering kisses were being pressed along his shoulder. “Me, neither,” Tobio whispered into his skin. “Let’s just go back to sleep. Then we don’t have to leave.”

The giggle that bubbled out of Shoyo’s lips felt foreign, unusual after the past twenty-four hours. He finally turned to face Tobio, and was met with those handsome features all soft with sleepy adoration. Everything in him screamed at him to stay quiet, to just linger in this drowsy happiness and try to prolong it. But with morning came the need to figure out a real plan beyond the desperate promises they’d made to each other the previous night and finish the journey Shoyo had started.

When he did manage to speak, his voice was barely audible. “...What now?”

“Hm?”

“What now?” he repeated, feeling his heart sink when Tobio grew more alert and somber. “I love you, Tobio. So much. But I can’t bring you with me to the Cat’s Tail, especially not after what happened to the Crow’s Nest last night.”

“I know.” Tobio combed his fingers through Shoyo’s hair as he thought. “...Let me take you to the next city. You don’t have to take me to the actual place, but just…let me come with you some of the way.”

“Okay,” Shoyo whispered, “and then?”

“And then…then I’ll go back, hunt down your attacker, and come join you. Or you can come back with me. We can say that you were kidnapped, and that I brought you back after killing your kidnapper. I’ll stop hunting, and we can just…go back to our life together.”

There was so much hope where Shoyo was used to seeing dry skepticism or fierce competition in those blue eyes. It broke his heart to push against it. “I can’t, Tobi. You said it yourself, I was seen at the bust. What if someone recognizes me?”

Tobio paused. “Two more months,” he eventually said. “After two months, the others won’t remember. You’ll just be another part of the chaos of that night. You rest up, heal, reintegrate yourself with the…the vampire community, and I’ll hunt down that bastard. I can keep everything afloat back home, keep it ready for you to come back.”

“What about the other hunters? Won’t they try to keep you from quitting?” Shoyo’s heart clenched at the sheer mention of them. For Tobio to rejoin the community, only to leave after two months…Shoyo couldn’t imagine they would let a hunter from such a prolific family leave so easily, especially if word somehow got back to his parents.

“Forget them,” Tobio said, at odds with the small frown pulling at his lips, “I told Ushijima-san that I was only back to find your attacker, so they can’t claim I’m being wishy-washy. I’ll do what I said I would do and leave. I’ve done it before, I can do it again.”

Shoyo bit his lips, feeling his resolve crumble under Tobio’s entreaty and earnest plan. “...Two months,” he gave in. “If…If everything is safe after two months, then…I’ll come back. If not…would you come join me? We can find an apartment there, away from the Cat’s Tail.”

“Okay.” Tobio’s agreement was instant, with none of the slow thought Shoyo had given. It was a strange, almost funny reversal of their usual roles. “Wherever you go, I’ll follow, if…if you’ll have me.”

“Always,” Shoyo immediately reassured him. “I’m never losing you again, I swear. I’ll never make you grieve for me again.”

Tobio’s eyes widened, before a soft, shaky laugh huffed out of him. “Dumbass, you’re not immortal. You can’t promise that.”

“Yes, I can,” Shoyo insisted with a stubborn frown. “Never again, Tobio.”

“...Okay,” Tobio agreed quietly, “never again.”

“And you promise you’ll really stop hunting?”

“Yes.” Again, his answer was instant. “I promise. Never again, Shoyo.”

For the first time in months, Shoyo finally felt real, pure relief, untinged and undiluted by any uncertainty. He could finally see a clear future that he could look forward to. And even better, it held Tobio.

Getting out of bed was the hardest thing he’d ever done, even harder than learning how to control his hunger, harder than pushing the limits of his self-control. Even the sweetest-smelling blood after a week without feeding wasn’t as tempting as the idea of losing himself to Tobio’s kisses, letting himself be undone over and over again, speaking only in whispers and moans and soft laughter.

But eventually Tobio rolled out of bed, and Shoyo let himself be tugged upright with a whine. “I know,” Tobio laughed, a rueful note tinging the sweet sound, “but we have to go. We shouldn’t have stayed overnight in the first place.”

“I know,” Shoyo echoed. He pushed himself to his feet, only to loop his arms around Tobio’s waist and snuggle in. “I want more time with you,” he sighed into his skin.

“We’ll have today. And after two months, we’ll have forever. Two months is nothing compared to that. We already did it once.”

Forever. The word echoed through Shoyo’s mind as he leaned into another kiss with a soft, content hum. Such a simple word, so full of promises and hopes. He could do anything, face any challenge, overcome any change, if it meant forever with Tobio.

The word made everything look a little brighter, even though their packing was slow with reluctance and their traveling was hard on their weary bodies. The neighboring city was a bit further than Shoyo had anticipated, even with Tobio’s sharp navigation. Yet it blissfully didn’t matter, because he was doing it all by Tobio’s side.

When they finally reached the outskirts of the city and parted with a slow, tender kiss, the ache in Shoyo’s chest as he watched Tobio walk away wasn’t nearly as painful as it had been the night before. Now, he knew that this wouldn’t be their last meeting. The next time they reunited, it wouldn’t be by chance or fickle fate. It would be deliberate, arranged so they could plan their future together.

And somewhere along the way, they would plan forever together, too.

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