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#anyway i don't usually go in for characters-being-kids-together stuff but i will admit that childhood gid+harrow
taxinealkaloids · 1 year
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horrible children who are. so so mean to each other
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queen--kenobi · 3 months
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What's the Hallmark Movie AU for Elyana x Aemond GO!
Send me a potential AU, and I'll tell you 5 fun facts about it
Mmmhhhmmm okay! So Elayna lived in King's Landing from about 6-10 years old because Visery needed Alon's help with a particularly difficult case. Adelaide sees Alicent struggling as, essentially, a single mother. Adelaide ends up setting up lots of play dates with Helaena, Aemond, Daeron, Elayna, and Ryman. Aemond is wary at first until Elayna catches him reading a book that's from her favorite series. They bond over it. They end up reading together and playing characters together. You know, usual nerdy elementary kid stuff
The Reynes move back to Castamere, and Aemond and Elayna promise to stay in contact. They do, actually! They call each other fairly often. It's initially Adelaide and Alicent calling each other and then being like "oh, guess who wants to talk to you~" because. You know. Young kids don't think about calling each other. But Aemond and Elayna end up eventually calling each other often
Until Aemond loses his eye. Calls drop off after that. Elayna tries multiple times to talk to Aemond, but he always says he's busy. Elayna even tries to send him several care packages while he's in the hospital. Eventually, Aemond gets snippy, says some hurtful shit. Elayna gets angry. They get into a fight, and Aemond tells her to go away, stop calling! He doesn't want to talk to her, take the message. And Elayna yells well, she never wanted to be his friend anyway!!! Her mom made her go talk to him
Obviously they don't speak. Years and years go by. Elayna ends up moving to Casterly Rock where she meets Tyland and gets an internship with Tyland's law firm. Tyland and Elayna end up getting into a relationship. And like, Elayna’s fairly happy! She doesn't like the Lannisters, but hey, she's happy, she's got a good paying job, and Tyland is the perfect fiancé. Tyland ends up going back to King's Landing, and Elayna moves with him. Tyland makes her a new project manager on a big project
But. Oops. The person Elayna has to work with is Aemond. And Elayna about has a panic attack over it, but eventually, she figures Aemond doesn't remember her. She clearly meant nothing to him so like it's fine it's good. She sees Aemond again, and like, her childhood crush hits her hard. But like I said, she expects Aemond to just. Either not remember her or give her the cold shoulder. Which he does initially lmao. He's all business as usual. Eventually, Tyland has a small dinner party. Surprisingly, Aemond shows up. At first, Elayna assumes he just didn't know about her and Tyland but! Aemond admits no, he came to the dinner party because he knew she'd be there. Neither of them apologize, but Aemond kinda sorta admits he missed her. Not in an obvious way, but Elayna knows what she means
Bonus sixth fact because wow I'm actually liking this AU. Aemond and Elayna using arguments during meetings as foreplay? Oh yeah. They absolutely do that
GOOOOD I wanted to keep on going
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With how things are going, I have to wonder - did TPTB give us the Huevas as a 'there, we don't hate gay people' token and were we wrong in reading it as a subtext-to-Destiel thing? Lizbob, I'm getting desperate. The 'so introduce me' line was so - it's what you say to kids, right? And the UST is completely gone... :(
Hi there! 
Is this because of this post from the other day where the line about “twice the worries about being ganked” was put under some destiel stuff to show that Dean had in fact doubled his worries about getting ganked? And also explains why he keeps telling Cas not to do anything stupid, because he’s worried, and not because he thinks Cas is actually stupid… Buckleming dialogue or not it’s calling back to 12x10 where Dean had to clarify this for Cas and admit he can say stuff like that when he’s worried. I’m not saying it’s very nice to keep on heckling Cas instead of just saying he’s worried, although I do feel the choice of writer really waters down the nuance in how that scene could have gone which would show Dean actually learned anything from 12x10. And while Cas shouldn’t have to expect to deal with Dean caring about him this way, at least we’ve already covered this in the text :P
But anyway, to me personally I just don’t write about Destiel that I see in the show with expectations that it will go canon, not because I’m negative or wanky about it (although, usual disclaimer, of course I’m very opinionated on if it SHOULD and the obligation the show has to do what they are constantly teasing, I just separate out these two things to write about the present moment of the show and the future, one of which takes a lot of explaining and one of which is extremely one note obvious of “make it gay, you cowards”), but just that I don’t want to engage in the cycle of optimism/despair that having Destiel hopes causes, specifically because I’m a popular meta blog that writes about Destiel in the text, and also because of people like you who get their hopes up and then get hurt.
I will probably merge expectations with demands when the show is actually definitively heading towards the end and we all know it is and it’s out there on the table. In the mean time, I’m happy to let this all carry on as it’s carrying on without feeling like there is a deadline or set moment for any one thing to pay off for us. The show takes its sweet time to address things which seem OBVIOUS, for example looking at the way side characters disappear and return sometimes like 3 or 9 or 13 years after we last saw them to get some closure on something or other. And it takes them years to chase down a main arc idea and pin it successfully. And some of the reason character development stuff links so well back to season 1 is because the progress Sam or Dean has made on it since season 1 has been in a series of recursive loops which seem to get somewhere only to be pulled back without reaching actualisation and either start again immediately or crop back up in the text much later as a character arc, starting over again as if it never really reached its conclusion. 
Dabb era has been good about excavating some of these more ridiculous concepts and putting them on some no-going-back type arcs, for example for better or worse the issues they have with Mary have *utterly* shifted ground and can never go back to the same background noise they used to be. Mary is no longer a childhood memory and enshrined as the family martyr, and as I talked about a lot over the last hiatus doing rewatches, the attempts to make her deeper/tie her into the mythology, never actually addressed a change in the way they felt about her, maybe not even realising it wasn’t healthy for them to feel that way about her for the rest of their lives in the difference between normal mourning and revenge quests etc and how that meant they could never leave her behind and move on. I mean there’s a LOT of work to be doing with them if there’s any sort of happy ending to come, but since Carver era the writing has spent so much time trying to understand why they feel bad and putting them through hell for it, and especially in Dabb era now doing work to make them recover and to explore ways they can change, that it seems really depressing to waste the good work by killing them off. So that’s a sort of broad optimism about what they’re doing :P
But that broad optimism is really as far as I’ll dare to venture about endgame, so talking about Destiel is mostly about what I see in the text and how it relates to their character arcs and how I see that informing them and therefore hopefully if there is a happy ending, the intrinsic way this relationship matters to Dean and Cas will get happy pay off as well, because of all the aspects being explored in their character arcs, their relationship ties is all together so nicely and what they would benefit from each other would cement a happy ending for them.
I can’t be completely responsible for the impression people get about what I want from canon in the stuff I reblog but I’m really hesitant to go past lines like nervously laughing and doubting what’s going on in canon as a joke about how Destiel it all looks, while trying to avoid posts that talk about how inevitable it is without some very good reasoned discussion that I agree with. I try very very hard to make this blog always toe a line of enjoying what I enjoy without trying to sell too much or sound like I’m promising something. I like a lot of stuff like re-exploring old seasons or what I did this summer over my rewatch, looking back on old canon and looking at how it has all the unwitting groundwork for the story that ended up being told, and where all the character arcs start and how they’re used in later canon etc.
I agree a theme the last few years has been digging up this character stuff and making it extremely clear or textually stating things for the first time, and especially this year coupled with themes of misinterpretation or not reading the picture correctly or working on misinformed intel. Dramatic irony has never had that much importance in telling the story either. This season has been really intelligent about these themes and last season did a LOT of stuff with characterisation to show how they understood them and old character stuff they were resolving or exploring for the sake of improving the characters. Cas got a final build up for his depression arc to lead him to the worst possible point, and he’s now on the other side of that so the only way is up. Performing!Dean got completely dragged in some episodes, especially 12x11 which did it kindly and gently, and 12x22 which just used a grenade launcher to do it :P 
There’s a lot going on but I don’t really like saying it all inevitably ends up pointing to canon reveals about Destiel, especially when that’s the most contentious thing and really hurts a lot of people to build up expectations like that, and it makes people angry or makes them fall out of love with the story because they lose objectivity and start making angry demands about when they get their emotional pay off, even though the story is still unfolding. Stuff which is happening along the way for later character pay off is seen as trashing the character and everything they previously stood for, and it becomes miserable for everyone. I’ve seen this happen in every single faction of the fandom and it’s nothing to do with the quality of the writing or actual treatment of the character/relationship, and an awful lot to do with poorly managed emotional investment and said investment being a finite resource. It’s UTTERLY depressing to watch a fandom friend melt down and begin to hate everything you once loved and I think watching that process has a lot of toxic fall out for everyone else around them who also loves the thing, because we sympathise and we’ve been watching it in slow mo and probably agreeing with a lot of the initial problems they have before it escalates. I HATE watching that happen. I will try as hard as I can to never be responsible for causing it in other Destiel shippers, so I try to make my jokes and comments stay as much as possible on the side of not trying to imply the show has any huge Destiel plan that we’re seeing the early stages of and patience will make it bear out. Because that’s not even how I see the show anyway but sometimes things like Dean giving Cas a mixtape create a *lot* of hyperbole and I’m not emotionally responsible for you all, technically, so I am allowed to have some fun :P 
All this is to say, I’m really sorry you’re feeling desperate and have been reading everything as signs we’re definitely getting Destiel, because there are no signs we’re definitely getting it, but there’s also no signs we’re definitely NOT getting it, and a whole bunch of murky grey area including an entire show worth of supportive subtext, character interaction, main text and plot arcs which back up the *existence* of Dean and Cas being madly in love with each other. The wank comes when you spend all your time harping on one or the other extreme, assuming everything is signs or proof/not proof.
I think the recent storytelling has been extremely positive towards Destiel and put an awful lot of it into the text, to extremes which have never really happened before: season 7 with dead Cas used that to get some understandable angst out of Dean, but it constantly emphasised how everything sucked, Cas had of course betrayed Dean and caused all their problems, both personal and mytharc, and so resentment and anger were mixed with grief, and for the most part as much as stuff was happening to them emotionally, the episodes weren’t intrinsically structured around showing what the grief had done to Dean, or that he stopped functioning without it. Compare the kid gloves about what Dean does in 7x03 killing Amy, and how it tentatively links back to Cas but only when Dean admits that he’s had a hard time trusting anyone after Cas, to Dean vs Jack culminating in Dean screaming in Sam’s face about how Cas’s death has hurt him and he can’t unsee it on Jack. 
And then of course the whiplash on getting Cas back, which Dean never had in season 7, and at best 8x08 was that episode - like a year after Cas was alive again and a whole fresh round of death and guilt and Cas coming back later so in a completely different context. And still nowhere near as good as what happened in 13x06 because there was still a lot of tentative TFW rebuilding to do in 8x08, while by now it’s completely accepted they’re a family unit and it’s been textually stated several times and 12x12 especially was tuned to showing how absolutely final that statement is. There’s no need to be tentative when Cas comes back now - Dean can just let go and enjoy himself for as long as that lasts.
I’ve been answering asks about the UST being gone since I’ve been in fandom, like, season 10, and I do kinda think that the heyday is ONLY seasons 4-6, after which Cas and Dean actually like each other and their relationship moves to more comfortable ground, and romantic tension and coding is way more the order of the day from Carver era onwards. There’s a few things like the boner scene or Dean in the car in 9x06. TBH 13x06 was the first time in ages I thought we’d actually had a scene where the two of them were having sexual chemistry, in the obvious mirror scene to the car in 9x06 bit, but also the entire underlying joke about Dean’s ‘cowboy fetish’ that Cas knew about from season 6, his entire reaction to it, including complaining that Dean made him wear the hat but then voluntarily playing along *for Dean* on their way into the crime scene, his FACE while doing that, and Dean’s reactions to Cas through all this. For the most part they’re considerably softer and more hesitant with each other and that involves much less interaction right up in each others’ faces and much less frustration which then translates to UST quite easily as well as being regular old tension. 
In addition to that, the “i do” and that hug scene apparently convinced people in living rooms across the world that Dean and Cas had been about to kiss and that it was horrifically romantic, and a fake out which genuinely shook people into seeing something going on there who had not previously seen it and even actively disbelieved their shipper friends and family. Of course that’s all down to how Dean and Cas look at each other as they come in for the hug, so their magnetic attraction to each others’ faces is still an ongoing issue :P 
Their interactions are being told in a pretty different way these days, which includes a lot of romantic stuff which is far more overt, and in making their relationship intrinsic to the plot and to each others’ own feelings, all of which I’ve written about so much lately because, well, it’s the main thing going on around here :P I actually feel like this is an extremely good time for if you care about their relationship, to get it in the story as a powerful force and important piece of the story. Things like the issue of clarification - I vs we, and need vs want - are coming back around as themes and that means the issues they’ve caused between Dean and Cas are being addressed or examined again, hopefully to some permanent end. And if not, at least so there’s a fresh examination in recent canon, although as I was saying Dabb era has been changing things in ways it’s hard to back off from later, like that Dean has repeatedly clarified to Sam that his feelings about Cas are the cause of his behavioural changes, even if he doesn’t say what those feelings are, it’s clear that they are affecting him. I mean there’s a part of me that has to read it that Dean hasn’t even realised exactly why he feels differently about Cas than Sam does, he just does… :P
Anyway I really just didn’t want to reassure you without addressing the fact I hate reassuring people things without trying to avoid causing more problems later. I don’t want people to feel strung along either by the show or by ~meta writer promises~ … which, aside from a few people who really were doing it for attention, generally seem to be from people actually just reading the text and being hopeful themselves, not trying to make a cult gathering or get attention or even just try to hurt people. I really urgently would like people to be more credible about where their hopes are coming from and how to feel about it. 
Not to say that you should stop believing everything you hear meta writers say, by a long shot, but to evaluate how likely you feel the speculation that comes from that can be, and how much you do and don’t agree with the analysis they make. And if you agree with the analysis and do see that all the Destiel stuff people point out IS in the show, then you can see that it’s there or not, and decide how you feel about what the show is doing with it as a separate thought. I’d rather not get caught up in pt.2 of it because it’s just frustrating and depressing at this stage of the game, but pt.1 is fascinating to me, it doesn’t detract for me personally to have it not unambiguously stated, and whether Destiel does become unambiguously stated or not I don’t think *any* of the Destiel analysis I agree with/have made is *wrong* because that reading is freely available to make, in large print text and accompanying audiobook >.> 
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janiedean · 6 years
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Why don't you like Harry Potter?
I could reply ‘because it’s not a given that anyone would like it’ but if we want to be specific (SORRY ANYONE WHO LIKES IT TAKE IT AS MY PERSONAL OPINION):
I tend to not care about things where the protagonists are teenagers and in high school (asoiaf is the exception and the teenagers/children aren’t all of it and they’re not in high school) in general and HP is basically that except with magic
I am absolutely not into **magic** stuff when we’re discussing fantasy - I like lotr and asoiaf and discworld (which is satire/trope subversion anyway) and I have other exceptions but stuff like WIZARDS AND WITCHES AND STUFF is one of the things that I can care less as far as fiction is concerned
I find it really too simplistic in plot conception and execution, like I read maybe a bit of it and I couldn’t get into the style whatsoever because I thought it was nothing special
I watched like movie four and a part of two and I fell asleep during both for how little I could care
there is like one damned gray character in those books/films - ONE - and I’ve been hearing discourse about whether he’s GOOD OR BAD since I was in middle school
I’ve been withstanding snape discourse since middle school excuse me if I can’t stand it anymore
my friends back in the day couldn’t talk about literally anything else so if you didn’t care you either were uncool or you just had to listen to them harping about it when I was just like CAN WE TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE
they also proceeded to spoil me the entire thing at least for the main stuff so why the hell would I be interested if I already know everything and excuse me it sounds like the least interesting chosen hero story in existence to me at least
(no honestly harry is such a Chosen Hero trope in all the worst ways like sorry I really don’t care)
I’ve read/seen so much shit with the same moral which was better written and conceived that I’m nowhere near interested in getting into that, too
I really don’t care about wizards under the age of eighteen (and over the age of eighteen it’s... a very selected choice)
I can’t stand that this fandom is so entitled that they got eight movies, one play, the books, THE PREQUELS, I don’t even know how fucking much extra canon and so on and THEY HAVE TO KEEP COMPLAINING ABOUT IT EVERY OTHER MOMENT and the play was shitty, and the prequels are cash grab and the movies sucked and HERMIONE’S DRESS WAS PINK AND NOT BLUE AND THAT WAS A PLOT POINT THAT I HAD TO SEE DISCUSSED FOR ANOTHER THREE YEARS LIKE WHY DO YOU FUCKING CARE WHAT HERMIONE’S DRESS LOOKS LIKE, never mind that y’all have such a large fandom you can find virtually any pairing or ship or kink in it but of course I only see wanking about stuff when my favorite fantasy series is a perpetual yuletide fave, my otp has twenty fics half of which are tied to me somehow and got one shitty movie after years which sucked ass but of course AFTER EIGHT MOVIES THE PROBLEM IS *HERMIONE’S DRESS*
the harry/hermione vs ron/hermione shipwar that people still can’t let go about wanted to make me go murder people back when I had to read discourse about it oN LIVEJOURNAL, ON TUMBLR, ON FB AND IRL at the same time
the fucking snape discourse
the fact that people can’t seem to tag their posts with hp assuming that everyone likes it so I had to blacklist that, snape, hermione and idk how many characters just to make sure that shit wasn’t on my dash anymore and I still see it
once I said that I wasn’t gonna read it anyway because if I did I’d only care for some of the adults and I knew they were gonna die since everyone spoiled it for me already and then someone had the disgrace to say ‘if you liked theon in asoiaf you’d probably like snape as a character’ and I had to go through four hours of anon wanking about SNAPE DISCOURSE when I didn’t even know how to reply and my experience with this fandom is ALWAYS like that
I find it utterly boring and predictable and I can’t care less
also: let’s get it out of the way that I watched fantastic beasts with friends who dragged me and I didn’t dislike it actually I thought it was cute and GUESS WHY IT WAS BECAUSE EVERYONE WAS AN ADULT AND DIDN’T GO TO SCHOOL and it was touching somehow more serious themes than your usual trite YA stuff that the original is, and obviously the fandom is so full with discourse I’d never even touch it with a ten foot pole but it also shows people can’t seem to read/interpret anything related to HP in a sane way and without realizing that IT’S NOT ALL BLACK AND WHITE GDI, same as apparently they can’t let go of the fact that they have to put poor snape in one specific box instead of admitting that assholes can do good things for a good cause without meaning they aren’t assholes and be fucking done with it already. I also have no ill will towards poor jkr who has decent political views and only made money out of doing what she liked but which I have a feeling is a way better adult writer than YA writer but she never will have the chance to because if she gets out of the HP sphere no one cares about what she produces and/or doesn’t get it (guys I had to read there wasn’t racism talk in FB when it was set in the US like what did you think wizards not being able to marry normal humans was standing for).
but tldr: I find it a bunch of YA re-heated tropes put together in a way that can work for kids and was very smartly put together but is not really greatly written and does not work for me and I can’t give less of a fuck about the original series especially about teenager protagonists, the fandom is the incarnation of walking discourse, I hate that everyone seems to assume that you have to like HP and that it’s impossible that you might actually not give a fuck, I hate that I’ve had to hear HP discourse/talk since I was nine years old ie for the previous twenty years of my life, I hate that I can’t seem to escape idiotic discourse even if I try to get it out of my way and ah I forgot, I can’t anymore with people fighting bloody battles over freaking hogwarts houses and ah wait again I hate how in any small fandom in existence you won’t find a lot of things but THE HOGWARTS AU HAS TO BE THERE and if you don’t care for it you’ll have to read it anyway while being bored out of your mind because you really just don’t care for that setting.
ah, and I’m sick tired of having to justify the fact that I don’t like HP to about everyone I know irl because apparently it’s impossible that I can, you know, not like something that everyone else likes.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
again: I don’t mind discussing it on my terms and with people I know who also know I’m not interested in reading or watching it, but I’m really sick tired of seeing it everywhere after twenty years of telling everyone I don’t care. I mean. twenty years. I’m glad people enjoy it and I’m glad it got people into books and I absolutely don’t want to tell people they shouldn’t enjoy it because I can’t get into it - it’s their childhood and their favorite series and I’m sure it was great for them same as the stuff I liked was good for me - but it doesn’t mean I actually have to like it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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dreamydrarry · 7 years
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First off hi. *waves excitedly* Second, I have a question that have been on my mind that involves your fav HP? Why is Draco is your favorite character? Don't get me wrong, I love him. He's my favorite boy to the series, second to Harry. But I know you're a hardcore, ride or die Draco Malfoy defender. I'm curious on why. And has it been since the beginning of the series or close to the ending? And did the movies play a part in it?
okay, this answer’s gonna be a bit long…
i’ve always loved Draco. 
usually, my love for characters that are viewed as “villains” or “bad guys” start because i just flat out tend to find those characters the most entertaining or interesting, over the regular protagonists. i don’t love “bad guys” just to be all rebellious or anything like that, i just really like them. for example, Jim Moriarty from Sherlock, Crowley from Supernatural, Norman Bates, the Joker from Batman, and more minor bad-guy types like Roman Godfrey from Hemlock Grove, Hyde on that 70s Show, Cook from Skins… the list goes on and on but i’d be here for days… and of course HP characters like Snape, Draco, Voldemort/Tom Riddle, and even Peeves. i love them. that’s how i started liking Draco at first, but naturally, when you love a character, you pay a lot more attention to them. so i started paying a lot of attention to everything Draco said and did, i loved his back story and stuff like that and i always thought about his point of view in situations where he’s normally seen as what a lot people find terrible, and i started loving him more than usual. it definitely wasn’t just because of Tom Felton playing him in the movies, (even though JKR unfairly blames him for that), but i’m also in love with Tom, so that’s kinda just a plus. 
outside of the canon series, i love Draco more and more every time i read a new fic, or see blog posts of headcanons or edits and all of that. i mainly just think that Draco Malfoy is a very misunderstood character and i don’t think i’ll ever forgive the movies for cutting out some of his best moments and making all the people who don’t read the books see him as a bratty villain. 
when it comes down to it, Draco Malfoy came from a very loving home with two great parents, and their family just happened to be at the top of the food chain when it comes to well-known wizard families. they were always protective, and sure, he was definitely spoiled, but they were also very strict with him when it came to grades and other responsibilities. Draco was used to getting everything he wanted, and only truly bullied Harry through the series because Harry was probably the first person to not take his shit. when he rejected his friendship, Draco pretty much decided to take it upon himself to hurt/embarrass/disappoint Harry more than Harry hurt/embarrassed/disappointed him in front of all the other students on their first day. not to mention the fact that this other boy constantly got attention 24/7 for being “the boy who lived” and constantly fighting off evil, while also beating him in quidditch on the side and having snarky comebacks to his own insults. 
and on top of all that, Draco came from a line of purebloods who only hung out with other purebloods who all worshiped an asshole who promised purebloods immunity if they just stayed out of his way of (and occasionally helping him with) getting rid of muggles and halfbloods on the reg. his father hated the Weasley family, not because of their blood status, but because of differences in the workplace to put it in simple terms. and because they didn’t work together and see eye-to-eye, of course Lucius would tear the other family down when it came to money status. 
because of all this, Draco grew up hearing his father talk shit about the Weasley family, (”red heads blah blah hand-me-down clothes blah blah populate like rabbits blah blah”) along with bad-mouthing “mudbloods,” (”why should we invite muggle-borns into our world and risk ruining everything just to teach them our ways of magic and lifestyle when they thrive perfectly fine in their dumb little magic-less world blah blah blah what if they expose us? blah blah blah if purebloods continue populating with mugle-borns, soon enough there wont be any more purebloods around! blah blah blah”) 
so, growing up with rich, pureblood, snooty assholes and no one else to around to teach him right from wrong and show him that of course the world outside of purebloods isn’t that bad, it’s obvious that little 11-year-old Draco is going to meet a Weasley and a muggle-born Granger and automatically tear them down. you and i and everyone else knows it’s wrong, yes, but we grew up in an environment where we can sort out what’s right from wrong because we weren’t just stuck in some prejudice rich bitch bubble for the first 11 years of our lives. and it doesn’t help that the other Slytherins he hangs around with in the series laugh at and instigate Draco’s insults towards Harry and the other kids the same way. obviously we know not all Slytherins are like that though. 
no one is born with hate in their hearts, it’s the way you’re raised. 
but little by little, Draco changes. going to Hogwarts for all those years of his life and being around such a large group of diverse people who weren’t all just stuck in the same shiny bubble he grew up in changed him. regardless if he made friends with anyone outside of his Slytherin gang. 
he made friends with Moaning Myrtle of all people, and cried alone with her in her bathroom on multiple occasions. 
he was angry and pushed himself harder every time Hermione, the “mudblood” who was (in his mind) supposed to be on a lower level than he was by default, would score higher than him in classes. 
he was scared sick and riddled with anxiety when he was tasked to help find a way for Death Eaters to get into Hogwarts, because he KNEW it was wrong. he could feel it in his gut. he LIED TO HIS FAMILY and said he didn’t recognize his ‘childhood nemesis’ Harry, when he so clearly knew it was him. he LIED to his FAMILY for HARRY even though he KNEW that there had to be some sort of punishments if they found out he was lying. because he knew Harry had a chance of changing the world and getting rid of the Dark Lord. he, himself, hated all of it and wanted it to end. 
the poor kid couldn’t even bring himself to kill Dumbledore, the man that was Voldemort’s biggest obstacle at the time, even though he was alone with him with his wand pointed straight at him. and though he even got the permission from the man himself to go through with it and kill him, he couldn’t do it. he knew it was wrong, he knew he didn’t want to live in a world ran by Voldemort, so he couldn’t do it. 
there are two outcomes before the final battle where the Malfoys call Draco over to their side. in the one used, Draco obeys and silently crosses over to join the side of Death Eaters and his parents. but in an extra cut from the last movie, Draco stands his ground and decides to stay on the side with his fellow classmates. the good side. and when it’s revealed that Harry is in fact alive, he even calls Harry’s name and throws him his own wand so that Harry wouldn’t be defenseless and could fight Voldemort. (i’ll ALWAYS be mad that they didn’t choose that ending. forever salty.)
and, whether you want to view it canon content or not, the Cursed Child had some great redeeming moments for Draco as well. such as admitting to Harry and his friends how he was always secretly jealous of their bond, showing how he was STILL against Voldemort in the “future” alternative where Voldemort is in power, and his all around strong love for Scorpius and Astoria. 
(even though we all know i ship Drarry)
anyway, DRACO MALFOY IS AN AMAZING CHARACTER AND NO ONE CAN EVER EVER EVER CHANGE MY MIND ABOUT THAT!!!!!
((this is so long, but tbh i didn’t even hit every single point. believe is or not this is my ‘long story short’ version hahaha but i hope this answers your question.))
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