#anyone know where to get a new one?

[bunger-onfire-002]

Day was kinda eh so wambus will be drawn tomorrow.

#i blame my brain #anyone know where to get a new one?

[mkzmerryfriend]

*cracks knuckles* we know Tyler isn’t the original Clancy right? Y’all caught that? Clancy’s bishop was Keons, Tyler’s is Nico, and now “Clancy” is Tyler. Because “scaled and icy” is an anagram for “Clancy is dead” and that album was the one where dema was using Tyler’s popularity for their own purposes. Clancy failed to stop the cycle on his own, and despite already being used as a figurehead for dema, Tyler decided to take up the role of “Clancy” in the wake of what seemed like a total collapse of the Banditos. Their leader had been taken out, and now they had no one to organize them.

But Tyler taking on the name Clancy isn’t him taking on the role of leader or even organizer. He is showing us (the Banditos) that we all can be our own inspiration, we don’t need a figure to follow, we don’t need a leader to lead us. We can do this, fight dema, ourselves.

Y’all got that, right?

#twenty one pilots #twenty øne piløts #tøp #Clancy #tøp clancy #I just don’t ever see anyone talking about the lore connections and I need to know that I’m not the only person making these connections #bc I remember the countless interviews where Tyler reiterated that he is not Clancy and the letters are not written by him #and in the letters clancy explains how each person gets a bishop assigned to them and his was keons #and in Nico and the niners tyler sings he’ll always try to stop me that Nicolas Bourbaki #therefore the bishop we see in the videos interacting with tyler is Nico and not keons #let alone the fact that Clancy describes keons as kind and gentle and Nico seems very forceful in comparison #and don’t forget this is all a metaphor or allegory for depression and mental illness #Clancy’s bishops being kind and caring while Tyler’s is scary and forceful is representing the different ways mental illness can menifest #maybe it feels like it’s trying to help you but it’s actually just keeping control over you #or maybe it scared the shit out of you but you don’t know how to fight back #because both kind of have a point #anyway #pls let me know if this was new information or if I’m preaching to the choir

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

Hello may 31th anon! Look at that, another year behind us and a new one to come. Have a nice day! ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡

#may 31th anon #hello friends!! (｡’▽’｡)♡ how are you!! I missed you so much! #I'm sorry that once again i have not been posting but I did that thing again where I got scared of posting #I do not know why but it is the same with physical paper diarys #I have 3 diarys and they all have 1 entry #I think one just says 'I am ten' #what have you been up to!! did you do something fun? is it summer too where you live? c: #my tumblr messages seem to be broken! I'm sorry if you wrote something :C it just says 'no new messages' despite also saying new messages #not a lot has happened here! I got a tomato plant and then I got very invested into the tomato plant and I have eaten three tomatos so far ( #my roses are also doing well!! I just got a new yellow rose and since she got here she only made orange flowers #I do not know the meaning of that #but I am very thankful! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡ I love it when things are orange!! #I've been trying to buy an orange shirt for the past 2 weeks but they always sell out before I get to them #I'm also thinking about buying a jean jacket #I have not worn a jean jacket for at least 15 years because one time in 7th grade tthe girl behind me said #that I was wearing a cool jean jacket and I just assumed that this was bullying for no actual reason #but maybe she just thought that it was an acutal cool jean jacket #we'll soon have out 10 year school reunion #maybe I should ask her #is anyone else going to a secret Sherlock phase again #I just want to see that silly little hat again #would sherlock holmes wear a jean jacket #have a nice day everyone!! #see you soon hopefully!! #♡＾▽＾♡

[spitblaze]

in case ur having trouble figuring out why using a news article of a singular person who happens to be a minority who did something really bad isnt good proof that the entire minority is evil. allow me to explain by way of this xkcd comic

#spitblaze says things #i just. do not know where tr/-anspho/-bes get off #posting one(1) article of some transfem lady who did something horrendously shitty #and then go 'well clearly this is how all of them are #thats a lie. i know how. its confirmation bias #if you gather enough individual news articles you could convince anyone of anything probably #every time i see te/-rfs doing that i wanna go 'ooh i can play this game too!' #and then post a bunch of articles of people getting killed by vending machines and drawing the conclusion #that vending machines are dangerous killers and we cant have them anywhere near children lest they turn into one themselves

[blujayonthewing]

#I've played with irl atheists and catholics and everything in between #but it rarely feels like faith is a real factor for anyone-- DM or player #outside of‚ again‚ divine spellcasters and Big Epic Plot Things #I mean there are a couple of 'RAAAHGH FUCK THE GODS >:C' edgy backstory types but #no one is just Normally Culturally Religious and it's WEIRD #like it's not even a matter of faith in dnd! the gods are LITERALLY OBJECTIVELY PROVABLY REAL #so what does that MEAN for the average person! how does it shape language? business? culture? #where are the people wearing holy symbols like amulets-- or the way modern christians very casually wear crosses? #blessings over meals? prayers before bed? burnt offerings? #and like I enjoy thinking about world and culture building but I know that's A Whole Thing but even just like... #it doesn't feel like anyone believes in gods at all except clerics and paladins #like they DO because they factually exist but in the same way I 'believe in' like. the president of france. #like yeah he exists and is important to some people but has no bearing on my life whatsoever #that's such a fucking weird approach to the DIVINE in a polytheist world where those gods are YOUR CULTURE'S GODS?? #I am bad at this myself but I'm not religious so it's harder for me to remember what Being Religious All The Time Casually is like lol #funny enough my character with the most intentionally religious background in this sense #is one of my ones who's ended up wrapped up in Big Plot God Things lmao #'aubree starts the campaign with a holy symbol of yondalla because of course she does why wouldn't she' #'oh okay well she's gonna get deeply and personally entangled with a bunch of death gods immediately' fdkjghkdf oh!! welp #you don't really pray to urogalan unless you're breaking ground for a new building or someone just died so it's STILL weird for her lol #but at least I had the framework there of 'oh yeah the gods exist and matter to me and my everyday life and culture' in general #about me #posts from twitter

[raisinushigher]

am i just so far gone with these two that i can barely correctly comprehend anything they do toward eachother as normal casual interaction anymore or was this actually topher being worried about abe

#bc like…….. in my mind #topher is SUPER like way overprotective of abe. both in the way that he doesn’t want him to get hurt #and he also doesnt like anyone else getting really close to him but he’s calmed down with that one a little #and to me this is one of those moments where topher would 1000% just drop everything #if he thinks abe is in actual danger #dont talk about it much bc i hate them yada yada but seriously i love just… thinking about the most mushiest take on them as possible #like topher is legit in love with abe ya know hes never felt the way he does with abe around in his life ya know #that’s just what they are to me. and that’s what this moment here makes me feel and i have not gotten over it at all #probably won’t until s4 comes out. this is my new favourite crumb #and another thing #i can not lie. i did. get unreasonably excited and happy when abe said he’d come with joan to where topher is #and then later when he said he’d stay behind with topher and the bleacher creatures #im not Even gona reach and pretend it means anything cuz it doesn’t i just love them being together at all #clone high #tophabe #clone high spoilers #mine

[ichthyorelationships]

an idea i invite anyone else to write about / run with lol....

the premise that The Change gets all messed up for alberto, say it's something that can happen from stress, &/or happens rarely and you just have to wait for it to resolve itself....used as some parallel to struggling through some emotional turbulence / upheaval / questioning / Realizing Things, etc etc

#luca 2021 #pixar luca #alberto scorfano #another idea i've failed to write for & so invite anyone else to run with: ciao alberto but what if he peaces out by swimming off lol #ends up in a coastal town maybe an hour's swim from genoa. but not Getting In Touch w/anyone for a while b/c plausibly he thinks that #giulia may not be a fan of him now by extension; just being too embarrassed asf to reach out to luca kinda lol....luca off doing his own #thing just fine & alberto not wanting to write him now like b/c i Ruined Everything again ahaha.... #and by ''not in touch w/anyone for a while'' who knows. months; a few years even....might stumble across news of him b/c like. #say more sea folk are coming to land / more humans know abt them & not many places are as [harpoon]ly from the start anyways #portorosso exceptional in that way....maybe where alberto settles down they're like legendary but also considered Good Luck anyways lol. #anyways like some people know of him who might; say; swim down to portorosso. have their own teen who knows a teen who mostly lives on land #most convenient re sparking [wow could they mean Our alberto] if he doesn't go so far as to take up an alias lol. but why would he.... #that difference in that massimo might figure that however alberto was surviving before; he could continue to do so now; but even though tha #is some comfort it's still Not Actually Enough....feeling way more Parentally towards alberto than his biological dad like that; obv #and anyways re: this [The Change gets messed up] idea it's more of an inconvenience lol but one that could still have some significance #like if he first finds out the issue exists via hopping right into the ocean; failing to change forms; never being human form'd in water b4 #thee worst....crash intro course to the experience of drowning. observation of How Humans Swim / being able to grab any part of the boat... #and besides That unpleasantness it's like; hey. where's my nonhuman form at #or; of course; being in sea form even while dry....especially if he's still dealing with Nonsense on land. which is presumed. #&/or if there's an upswing in nonsense b/c of Other ways you're Othered...ofc we can consider like; tfw you're a gay fish & maybe that's no #something that on its own would be like Aah until it's like well a) i kinda wanna do things that would make this Visible and b) i've learne #that humans also Have Issues about this kind of thing.... #appropriately my tablet was also all thrown off. no pressure sensitivity; input sensitivity overall was rough #but i would've had to restart my laptop about it lol like eh i'll just work around it

[gxlden-angels]

I don't know if it's the religious trauma or the dead mom trauma but the conservative christian insistence on not teaching children about their bodies in school and insistence that this knowledge should be private in all circumstances with no exceptions should be seen as suspicious at best and criminally malicious at worst

#but wait there's more #I know this isn't a new hot take or anything #but I have 'periods' without blood cause of medical reasons and every time I get them #I think about my great aunt scoffing at me for admitting Im on birth control before she told me #how until she was maybe 16-18 y/o she thought holding hands with boys she liked would get her pregnant #and I think about being 9 y/o and just losing my mom only to be told a few months later that Im a woman now #I was barely sentient let alone a woman #and with the recent period talk ban in florida #where you can't even discuss periods without getting in trouble before 6th grade #how scared and alone I already was being raised in this cult where everything was hush hush #My dad couldn't teach me about them and my extended family didn't tell me about all of the reproductive conditions we have running thru us #so I barely talked to anyone until I was like 13-14 and so anemic I was blacking out and sleeping 14 hours a day #and no one told me it wasnt normal until then #it's dangerous at best and deadly at worst

[ghostly-cabbage]

I have officially edited and updated my DP fic recommendation document

I've so far only used it for friends but now I'm wondering if any of you guys would be interested...

#lots of people make rec lists and i sorta feel like i have a lot of the same ones that everyone always does #but also that could just be the curse of knowledge where im like “yeah ofc everyone knows about X Fic!!!” #when in fact maybe they do not :wheeze: #anyway. just wanna gauge if anyone would want it #idk how often ill update the list #i have a shit ton of DP fics on my To Read/Bookmarks and if i haven't read at leaat enough to make a judgment #i dont put it on the rec list #I've been mostly focused on working on getting through my unread book collection at home rather than fics atm BUT #the list is both a way for me to keep track of my fave fics and also when friends outside the phandom wanted a rec i could ask what #flavor of thing they wanna read and then pick something or send them the doc so they could pick #Everytime I work on the list I start thinking so hard about fics I read years ago or on FFnet and I can't remember the names #Or more than a few scenes.... #Rip the real ones from back in the day #I'll at some point be making a new pinned post and so if people do want this I'll post it and then link it in my pinned post #so it's easy to find #danny phantom fanfiction #Danny Phantom fanfic recs

[finniestoncrane]

said to my counsellor that i wasnt built for friendship because everyone always eventually just. stops speaking to me and she went “ok why do you think that is?” and then when i finished my dumb sad list she went “ok so maybe you aren’t good at friendship” and i. have never regretted spending £50 more in my life lol

#A RANT IN THE TAGS MY GOD I DIDNT EVEN REALISE I AM WRITING THIS WARNING RETROSPECTIVELY #£50 to feel like never trying to speak to anyone again or forge any connections THANKS RUTH #Ruth remember when I said that every friendship I’ve had I’ve never truly known if it’s a friendship or if it’s one sided #remember when I told you that my friend groups always had people who had a favourite and I was never the favourite #remember when I told you that several friend groups have disbanded but not really they actually just made new spaces without me? #remember that? remember my trauma? remember? #because I DO!!! #I was not born to have friends I don’t think #I can’t even make friends with other autistic people or other weird people or other queer people #I don’t even think I could make friends with a clone of myself #this is so guy wrenchingly isolating lol #like girl what do you want from me? keep everyone at arms length like I used to? #try not to let myself get attached to people in case they decide they don’t want to be close to me anymore? #please it is not great advice Ruth #THE WORAT PART is that I literally was like ‘I don’t message too much because I’m overbearing’ #and she asked where the proof was #and all I had was the complete dissolving of any relationship where I tried or tried too hard #so now I’m left in this confusing space of do I message too much or not enough because I have no happy medium #and she knows SHE KNOWS I also have energy issues and executive dysfunction stuff going on #and I know she is just trying to help and get me to think about this stuff #but it was just not the time lmao #finnie shouts into the void

[musubiki]

the other beta version of mochi and limes post-timeskip reunion is that he actually does find her on his own. after years of taking witch-related missions, tracking down leads, investigating new developments and hints that came up, etc

where one day, wherever mochi is hiding at the time, pom becomes alert all of a sudden, and goes "...the m34th is here."

#did pom know it was him? probably #uniformed-up lime standing at the gate to her little hideaway hat in hand #imagine that sight #i think about this route because one side of me doesnt want all his hard work to be in vain. part of me wants his struggles to pay off #but on the other hand if i go the original route i can lay foundations for a potention subplot of #the m34th(of course we knew where she was. why would we let you in on that when we can use you how we want so long as youre apart from her? #anyway this version would develop as (i know you dont want anyone around but i dont care im not leaving) #and pom being like (actually she just stabilized last week so she should go get her guild again for the new mission(s)) #anyway. rambles #bonus points if getting the cat witch was a joint mission and he straight up backstabs all his coworkers once they get to her location #diggity doosh your memory is now mush

[reel-fear]

Honestly, every single time the whole 'poppy playtime is a bendy rip-off' stuff ever shows up I find it all extremely unconvincing and silly.

For one thing, rip-off usually is meant to imply that it's a cheap lazy copy of a better more polished thing, and uh. Sorry but even from chapter 1? Poppy Playtime is a better game than Bendy, it has a simple but understandable story, the game manages to be thrilling, creepy, and very intense at times... I mean that Huggy chase in the vents ALONE puts it way above Batim for me.

I mean BATDR had the most slow stupid chase I've ever seen [and every other encounter with the ink demon is text telling u he's there and then a timer goes down and u get jumpscared] and batim's chases were either silly or just not nearly as theatric or terrifying as that.

When making the vent sequence I mean not only is it absolutely horrifying to realize how fast Huggy is in there but also it's so theatric and cool? The fact that you round a corner after thinking you escaped only to see a terrifying animation of that thing crawling toward you is awesome! I wish Bendy had stuff like that!

And all the stuff it shares with Bendy are generic things Bendy ripped from other horror games/media anyways. I'm not saying Poppy Playtime isn't inspired by Bendy I for sure think it is but Bendy is such a generic story that somehow fails to do tropes 100 other horror games have done any comparison only makes Poppy Playtime look better.

"It has employees being sacrificed for their company" That is not a concept Bendy invented, literally look at any of the sci-fi horror series Bendy is very inspired by. This is literally a twist in the original Alien.

"It has a scary woman forcing you to do tasks for her" Once again, not a concept Bendy invented, a scary mysterious person forcing you to do fetch-quests is a concept found in tons of horror media. And at least Poppy Playtime gave you a chase with her and let you defeat her, look at poor malice. She's barely on screen for more than 10 minutes before she gets stabbed.

"It has a cult worshipping the monster" This is something tons of horror games and media have done too. I mean In The Tall Grass has a guy who worships a giant magical rock in the middle of a grass maze, Bioshock [which Bendy has only been taking more and more direct inspiration from while failing to grab any of the compelling parts] also had a lot of themes of religion and cult-ish behavior, almost every horror media franchise has at one point done a cult thing.

Bendy couldn't even come up with a reason Sammy worships the ink demon, the best motivation we've ever gotten is just that 'he's crazzyyyy the ink made him insaneeee'. Who is the cheap rip-off here?

At least Poppy Playtime gave their cultist a motive for worshipping the monster + a proper boss fight that feels intense and looks awesome! Bendy didn't even let you kill Malice [she got stabbed in front of you and then just collapsed on the floor how thrilling] meanwhile you get to kill three of the villains in Poppy Playtime and the gameplay and action in those scenes have only gotten better as the game went on.

I mean Sammy walks into a room and goes "AAA SCARY I'M BEING MURDERED" then later shows up and for NO REASON sees a normal human man and assumes it's the ink demon before once again someone else kills him for you. In Poppy Playtime you defeat Catnap as he floods the world with this horrible nightmare-inducing gas that intensifies the color palette and his design. Fight off versions of him that are illusions that you need your flare gun for, then watch in a wonderful animation as he mistakes the monster for his savior before getting killed by it, in a brutal way I might add, which game are we accusing of being cheap, lazy garbage again?

I just find this argument to be people who Really Really need to find a reason to hate Poppy Playtime which I think is silly. The devs being weird, shady people is already enough reason to dislike the game, you don't need to invent reasons why secretly every part of the game is malicious or bad. But esp when I see Bendy fans saying they don't support Poppy Playtime or dislike it bc of its devs or even saying its cringe ummmm.

I have bad news about the fact Bendy's devs are worse and it took not one, but TWO over an hour long videos to cover it all. Plus the Bendy games are just the worse games in every aspect, if I could sell my batim copy for a copy of Poppy Playtime I wouldn't hesitate at all.

Saying this as a bendy fan, we have no right to be super judgy towards Poppy Playtime. If Poppy Playtime is embarrassing cringe, Bendy is too and is way more embarrassing of an interest. We shouldn't spread misinformation just because we all want to hate Poppy Playtime, you can dislike Poppy Playtime without making up a bunch of nonsense to justify it.

Honestly seeing people just blatantly be unfairly mean to Poppy Playtime only makes its critics look worse and makes it hard to take any backlash to the games seriously. Because surprise surprise if you spread misinformation to make a point people will quickly stop listening to Anything you have to say bc they won't trust you're telling the truth anymore.

#feel free to reblog but Im not gonna tag this its way too rambley at least for my taste to go in the main tags #ramblez #also man can I say I didnt want to make this post super long but theres so many other points I could make in poppys favor #the fact we got to see the hour of joy and it was terrifying we dont even know if joey actually killed anyone anymore #the gameplay itself is more diverse and fun then batim which is a walking simulator that pretends to have fighting n stealth mechanics #at least Poppy n Missys friendship gives u a reason to care for missys safety before shes put in danger #Missy can actually express unlike Boris who sits there looking cute with no proper expressions until he gets yoinked and ur supposed to car #bc he was uh adorable? And therefore you spend an entire chapter tryna get him and get an extremely bad boss fight in return- #also soundtrack wise I like poppys tracks more theyre unique and fun and you can tell which part of the game they come from #bendy has so many dramatic reveal stingers and tracks that are really hard to tell which part of the game they come from #bertrums boss fight has my favorite theme bc its so specifically crafted for him and unique and meanwhile Norman has one of the worst imo #a lot of Bendys soundtrack if I played it for you right now it would be hard to guess where its from bc it all kinda sounds the same #the reveal music for the machine for bendy land for heavenly toys for alices domain all sound the same x_x #its just so frustrating but yeah my point is can we all stop making up new reasons to shit on poppy playtime its just kinda dumb #it feels less like actual criticism and at this point just feels like elaborate justification for cringe culture which I hate #okay thats it bye sorry this is 10 pages long-

[theygender]

I've got too many games I want to play and not enough free time 😭 I still need to finish my BG3 playthrough but since Endless Ocean: Luminous came out I've been playing a lot of that instead. Also just got back into Wizard101 last night. Started playing House Flipper again last weekend. Still need to finish BOTW so I can start a TOTK playthrough and finish Pokemon Shield so I can start on Pokemon Violet. I've been fighting off the urge to start up a new Skyrim playthrough for weeks. My brother just told me that Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door is getting ported to the Switch. And now I'm suddenly feeling inspired to replay DAI... And throughout all of this I'm also playing the hell out of DragonVale on my phone. Someone just pay me to play video games all day please

#and before anyone suggests it: no i cant try to get into streaming #the way i play video games is extremely frustrating for other people to watch ahdjsksl #no one is going to give me money for producing a video where i spend two hours checking every barrel in the map while juggling my inventory #and then immediately give up on a puzzle and just sit in silence for 30 minutes while i look up a walkthrough instead #i need a situation that pays me $200 a day just to be autistic at the screen alone in the comfort of my own home #rambling #a few years ago i made it a mission to play all of the dragon age games and dlcs in order and i did not complete it #i got all the way to inquisition before i quit #i had already played it on ps3 but i wanted to replay on my new gaming laptop and unfortunately my computer decided it was too complicated #and also i just wanted to play as an elf again and i was resisting that urge bc i played as an elf the first time and wanted something new #so i didnt connect to my character as much #BUT ive learned a lot about optimizing my games from getting bg3 to run on my computer #so i think i could get it to handle dai now. especially if i upgrade to ssd like ive been wanting #and i just saw a dai post on my dash that made me daydream about possible characters and i was struck with inspiration #when i first played through on ps3 i didnt know anything about da lore. it was my first dragon age game #i was just doing whatever i thought seemed coolest #so i basically modeled my inquisitor after my dnd oc and then just picked a vallaslin i thought was pretty #and then when it came time to pick a specialization i was just like 'i mean my hand has rift magic right? seems obvious enough' #but now i know the LORE. and the dalish really interest me. and i want to make an inquisitor thats their own character #i didnt want to replay another elf mage bc i thought it would be too similar #but at the same time i wanted to re-experience dai (and experience trespasser for the first time) now that i knew more about the dalish #(with mods that fix the annoying bits where your character seems to not know about their own religion of course lol...) #i was thinking about that and i just got hit with some inspiration #instead of 'my dnd character but with a cool tattoo and rift magic and they kinda roll with the inquisitor stuff bc idk whats going on' #what if i made a more intentional character with a much different personality and their own backstory #theyre still the first of their clan but i know what that means now so theyre not really into the herald of andraste stuff #theyre a devotee of falon'din with his vallaslin and fittingly choose necromancy specialization (tho theyre annoyed by all the maker talk) #they can look cool and goth and maybe they even make some different choices about the well of sorrows 👀 #i could keep rambling but im running out of tags gah #anyways ive got lots of ideas now and i think the playthrough would be unique enough to be worth it

[mtt-burger-emporium]

thinking about chara and the implications of the line "chara hated humanity. why, they never said..." like ok i KNOW something was happening at home. chara baby you didn't deserve that shit i'm so glad you fell down a thousand feet in a cave hole and right into the arms of people who would keep you fed roof over your head and would never raise their hand against you. "eradicate humanity" you're 10 years old how about eradicating your shitfucked surface fam by calling cps first

#soda.txt #chara #(ok idk if this will work but LEEEENGTHY discussion of child abuse below) #ok listen hear me out on this- i know the initial interpretation is a sui attempt WHICH I ALSO AGREE WITH- BUT LISTEN #i believe there was something else going on leading to the whole ''eradicate humanity'' bit and the obvious answer is an unsafe homelife #well. at least for me. #being around people (or perhaps adults) who hurt you and make you feel unsafe in a place where you should be welcomed with open arms and- #a promise of care would probably make any child feel like all of humanity was (in simple terms) cruel and uncaring #so hearing about somewhere they could GET AWAY FROM THAT? of course they'd take that opportunity and run. #chara was just lucky enough to fall into a place that pulled them out of the ideology of ''all of humanity is cruel'' #because the dreemurrs were kind and patient enough to take them in and give them a new family #and wouldn't anyone want that? #for the part of The Plan (the buttercups) i think.. i think that one was formed by the idea that chara felt obligated to- #pay the dreemurrs back for their kindness. not that the dreemurrs would have made them. just by their own mental code. #what better way to pay a kind family back- one that took you in and cared for you like one of their own- then by forming a plan to- #set their people free? #they've been stuck down there for so long. they've wanted to feel the sun for SO LONG. why not give yourself up to grant that dream? #idk if these thoughts are coherent. LOL sorry i kinda just started saying words huh #but its ok. #feel free to ask me questions ab my interp of chara btw teehee ^_^ i love talking about chara they're my favorite theyre so silly #ok now for the proper tags on this bitch #chara undertale #chara dreemurr #child abuse mention #suicide mention #tw child abuse #safeutdr #OH ANALYSIS TAG UHHH UMM #🧪lab notes

[matchandelure]

i fear that the undercover top secret government assassins are growing on me (cp9)

#I HAD ZERO THOUGHTS ABOUT THEM AT FIRST #IN FACT I WAS DEVASTATED THAT THE WATER 7 QUARTET WERE ACTUALLY CP9 #BUT THEN??????? I READ CP9'S INDEPENDENT REPORT AND. I!?!??!?@?!? #the thoughts are endless ive been having one piece dreams every night for the past few days and they have all been cp9 related the brainrot #is so bad. i am sodgjkadhg #i love one piece there are so many characters with each new arc i get to i get some new characters to obsess over i love it i feel so alive #ive been fighting tooth and nail avoiding spoilers for the latest episode BUT GOD IM SO SO TEMPTED TO. TAKE A PEEK #anyways last night i was once again doing a wiki deep dive and i found some silly things on cp9's pages #JABRA AND LUCCI ARE THE SAME HEIGHT!!!!! THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY #CAN YOU IMAGINE?!?!?! the kid you've had beef with since he was 13 (maybe even earlier since lucci alreayd knew him when he was 6) who you #used to have a whole head over is now at eye level with you i would actually be so embarrased #KAKU IS FROM EAST BLUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS OS IMPORTANT ACTUALLY!! THE MOST IMPORATNT FACT EVER!!!!!!!!!!! #so he knows the strawhats are...also from the east blue right?!? right??????! and ik the wg steals these kids early on to train them so i #doubt he has lingering attachments to his home sea but i still think this so both so so sad and so important :'(( #also not getting over how oda's depiction of tiny kaku has him holding a toy boat BC ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!?! ARE YOU K IDDING ME #kalifa and jabra's favourite dishes are both lamb based!!!!!!!!! silly because her animal motif is a sheep haha #BUT ALSO considering how her father was also cp9 and she's probably been conditioned since birth to also follow his footsteps and how jabra #holds seniority in the current lineup id like to think that these two have known each other a very long time and there were influences #the most dysfunctional fcked up family ever. cp9 #blueno and jabra are both from the north blue!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that one falshbakc we see that the two of them plus 6year old lucci trained #together but also it would be so fcked up if the two actually knew of each other before being roped into the governemnt #idk how the wg works do they just??? routinely scout around and pick up a bunch of kids ata time???? were jabra and blueno taken together?? #also wondering if ... kalifa jabra and kumadori knew each other the longest as fellow agents or soemthing #i feel like im entertaining a gazillion thoughts all at once its so hard ot balance but we know both kalifa nad kumadori have #parents in the governemnt/assassin profession that also influenced them right #idk maybe one thing they can bond over #cp9 to me is just a fucked up family of some sort. they are not found family they are like some weird forged family where they were all #forced together and somehow made it work and they all love lucci and care for his wellbeing enough to raise all that money to get him to a #doctor and they cared about each other enough to get off enies lobby together without leaving anyone behind and they went cafe hopping and #shopping and bowling together and they all care for each other in their own way

[itspileofgoodthings]

💕💚

#so. Rambling on this my 28th birthday #I think I might have some kind of hormonal/mood imbalance #maybe. I think that could be likely #and I also think I have very fast emotional cycles #so I work through things quickly #and so I’m in kind of a pattern right now where I post in utter anguish #and the anguish is REAL and I am by no means faking it #but then it resolves. Not even the thing that causes the anguish but the feeling itself #and I just feel better and then I move on #and I am trying to get somewhat of a handle on what exactly it is #and I know I don’t owe anyone an explanation of what I post #but I guess also I would like to #and I think—as I type this out—that what’s happening to me right now #is TWO things #and one of those things is the very real very new pains of adulthood and life #that are hitting me like a shock to the system #but then ALSO some old emotional echoes that need to be purged from my psyche #that are not in fact how I want to deal with things or react to things #but which flare up in response to triggers #and cause anguish so bad it is literally physical #and I would love to be able to distinguish between the two #because there IS much that is hard and scary and painful and confusing in my personal life right now #and also there are simply old wounds and fears at play that I would like very much to set down #and allow myself to change. In response to which I would like to choose a new way of thinking!!!! #a truer and different attitude! #and yeah. it’s so hard. It’s SO HARD. It’s SO HARD TO ACCEPT THAT IT’s BOTH and it just AHHHGHHHHHHHHHHHJJ #!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway thank you for listening and for seeing and for taking the cries of anguish posts #I guess I just wanted a follow-up of some kind #because sometimes I feel insane and I feel like I LOOK insane #and it’s awful