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#any of which might be motivated for murder
elkian · 1 year
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Thanks to the 6 million Glass Onion gifs I am finally watching Knives Out and if everyone doesn’t start being nicer to Marta I am going to flip my fucking shit!!
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demethinkstoomuch · 1 year
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Cytherea and John have a lot in common in terms of goals and motives and techniques, when you adjust for scale: they acted out of betrayal and hurt and anger and the vengeance of love -- and those feelings were entirely right, entirely fair. So, they pursued those as their top priorities, regardless -- because of -- the body count.
And, in choosing the vindication of those feelings above all else, they destroyed more or less the “all else” part of things. Cytherea was lied to, Cytherea was abandoned to her pain by people who made sympathetic noises and maybe believed those noises (but not enough). Cytherea killed innocent people, because she decided that, more than, say, confronting John directly, or any other recourse, she wanted to smash everything that had been made in his image. She didn’t actually accomplish the goal of her anger, she just did some murders. John Gaius was lied to. John Gaius was abandoned to the world’s pain by people who made sympathetic noises about cows and maybe believed those noises (but probably not, and definitely not enough). John Gaius...You see how this goes?
Furthermore, we then get to the how, to the justification, the predatory interest in people who could have reminded them of something they’d lost, one of the driving forces of that anger -- even though, push comes to shove, they’ve already decided what the most important thing in the world is, and it’s not the people they’re making feel important. And how that plays against the self-assurances that they aren’t exactly lying -- see the way Cytherea insists she was only giving hypotheticals, and compare it to John’s “What’s the difference [between the truth and the story you tell yourself]?” And I think that shared balancing act, the one between their interest in those reminders, that need to not be lying, and their vengeance, is kind of what allows for them both to have that slightly self-aware air, occasionally a little apologetic, like ‘Oh, it’s reasonable that you would be hurt, all things considered’ vibe that you see throughout HtN’s climax and a bit during Palamedes’ parlor room scene at the end of GtN. They’ve picked their number 1 priority (VENGEANCE), and they know the thing they are prioritizing is true and valid (that is, they’re angry and they have every right to be angry), so they don’t need to necessarily defend themselves against every sling and arrow along the way. They can be nice, or funny, or kind, without it ever chnging the bottom line.
That similarity is...Interesting. She is the only OG lyctor we meet who was born post-resurrection, in the world and Empire John was forming. Besides just giving her a motive, I think this says something about his world, and the ways in which it’s not new. After all, John was made by our world, and he’s done the same thing -- including the same things as it would have done, if with some specific modifications. There’s a sort of intergenerational trauma happening there, where each round makes some changes in scope or technique compared to the previous round, who did such awful things, but keep doing some of the same awful things, just a little differently.
Cytherea is John’s creation, and her story is John’s story, writ very small. A prelude, in a way, to certain concepts about anger and forgiveness and trauma and priorities that are still unfolding throughout the series. 
But now I won’t be able to think about the John bits of Nona without thinking of Palamedes saying, scathingly, “You couldn’t help but prattle about why you killed innocent people, as though your reasons were interesting.” Which, honestly, yes, they are. I would not be here if they weren’t. But also, yeah, you tell ‘em about their horrific priorities, king. 
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tojisbbygworl · 2 months
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The Apartment Across The Street - Sukuna x Reader
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In the short time he watches her, he learns 3 new things: 1. She has a mirror on the left side of the window. 2. She is completely unaware of how easily someone could see her in all her half-naked glory. 3. Sukuna could overpower her if it came down to it.
Or maybe it’s 4 things. From the beating of his heart and the warm rushing feeling heading towards his dick, he learns the drug he thought he needed might not be a drug at all.
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Words: 6.7k
Tags - 18+ MDNI, No Use of Y/N, No Curses, Set in late 90s/early 00s, Smut, Angst, High Sex, Missionary, Degredation, Marijuana, Slight x Toji (I can't help myself)
WARNINGS - Dead Dove, Dark, Non-Con/Dub-con, Breaking and Entering, Sukuna and Toji are criminals, Sukuna's a hitman, Choking, Violence
AO3 Version
Masterlist
author's note: Heyyyy! Okay I went a little too hard like I always do so this is a bit long and (imo) it get's a little intense so be warned. I hope you enjoy hopefully I have some motivation to keep writing. art cred: @innaillus
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That apartment used to be empty.
Sukuna hadn’t been home in a week. He doesn’t mind. He’s learned to not have too many hopes or expectations in this line of work. Besides, he prefers being his own boss. He accepts contracts when he needs money then he’s off until it runs out. Doesn’t matter if they take days or even weeks.
Shorter jobs like this one weren’t his treat. They don’t pay as much as he likes, but it works out. These apartments were a bit shitty, they didn’t cost too much. And, he was right in the middle of the city. Easy to meet clients. The clubs went on all night long. Which is exactly how late he was out when he was home. Actually, he was planning to go out tonight. Meet up with Toji and see if he can’t get a woman in his bed by 2 am.
He wondered how long it would take to see his newest neighbor. The way the apartments in the complex are built, you could easily see into your neighbor’s bedroom. 'State guidelines say blinds aren’t required. You buy them,' was the response he received when he brought the problem up to the landlord. A lot of people invested in curtains, maybe they hadn’t bought any yet. He saw a bed, but it seems to be the only thing they’ve managed to set up. There were a couple boxes with flaps wide open sitting beside it.
After a few more moments of rumination, he closed his curtain and laid down on his bed waiting for a text to come over. In truth, he couldn't wait to see who was unlucky enough to be his new window neighbor. The last one didn’t go too well. They also didn’t invest in curtains and he isn’t entirely sure if he’s the reason they moved out, but he’s sure they didn’t appreciate catching his stare multiple times a day. And that one time at midnight.
-
All it took was the next morning.
Sukuna’s eyes crept open and he stared towards the ceiling. The girl he brought home last night was dead asleep and naked on his chest. He yawned and wiped his face tiredly. He nudged the girl off of him a bit, then sat up on the side of his bed. Ugh, he felt like shit. Toji always went entirely too hard when they went out, but Sukuna doesn’t mind. He has nowhere to be. Nothing to do. 
He got up and stretched then walked to the bathroom. As he completed his morning routine, he pondered about what today would behold for him. This is another reason he hated short jobs. Sukuna loves free time, but only if there’s something to do with it. There never really is.
He could kill that girl in his bedroom. In fact, he could have killed any girl he brought home since he moved in half a year ago. But the last time he made his job his hobby, it didn’t go so well for him. It was too close of a call, and getting arrested for murder just isn’t worth it. He could spend a couple months in the pen, not years at a time.
He spat out his toothpaste. Life was so fucking mundane. He had no life goals, barely any friends, his little brother hates him, and he works alone. All things he doesn’t actually care about, but shit, when is he going to get some excitement? Nothing gets him going anymore.
He needs something that will make him feel. A drug of some sort? But that doesn’t seem right to him. Even now as he walks back in the room staring at the woman in his bed, he feels nothing. If she woke back up and decided she wanted to have sex with him, he would say yes, but only because it’s something to do. He’s not feeling any particular way about her.
The moment he sat back down on the bed, she started shifting around. A few seconds later, she lifts her head and yawns. “Good morning.” She giggles, she leans over and kisses his cheek. Sukuna grunts.
The girl looks around the dark room. “It is morning, right?” She doesn’t let him answer before she stands up and opens the curtains. “Oh wow,” she exclaims. “I can see directly into your neighbor’s room.” She says. He still doesn’t get up, just hums at her.
“She’s cute though.”
Sukuna perks up upon hearing that. “Oh yeah? I haven’t seen her yet. She’s new.”
This was the first time since they’ve met that she said something interesting, but unfortunately for him, she drops the subject immediately and walks back into bed, leaving the curtains open. Sukuna holds back his sigh. Does he really want to spend the rest of his morning with this girl? It was half past 8. Way too early.
“I'm going to start getting ready for work,” he says without skipping a beat. She stops in her tracks and blinks at him, clearly not expecting that. It’s silent for a few moments. Sukuna’s not sure what she’s waiting on, but if it’s for him to say he’s kidding or let her stay, she’s sorely mistaken.
“Oh, I thought you were contracted,” she says nervously.
‘I only work when I feel like it, gorgeous.’ Sukuna inwardly curses himself for his suave nature. “Yeah. I got a contract. In an hour.”
His curtness and annoyed expression did good to make her feel completely and totally unwanted. The girl awkwardly smiled at him. “Oh, ha ha. Yeah…okay.” Sukuna got up and walked out of the room. Give her a little space to feel like shit while she gets ready to leave. He makes himself a cup of coffee, his face still that same blank expression even after he hears her rushing out the door from behind him. When she’s gone he takes himself back into his room.
He walks up to his window to close the curtains once more until someone catches his eye. He freezes and his eyebrows shoot upwards. That girl was right. She was cute. And he had the perfect view of her. She seemed to be posing or checking herself out. Sukuna wasn’t sure which one it was, but he hoped she didn’t stop. That bikini she had on was doing wonders for her, and him.
Something was off. Looking at her made him…tense. His hands were gripping the curtains, he was biting the inside of his cheek, his leg was shaking; Was it anxiety? No, she’s not making him nervous. What he’s feeling is euphoric. He likes it. He wants to grip her bare waist and squeeze her until she bruises.
In the short time he watches her, he learns 3 new things: 1. She has a mirror on the left side of her window. 2. She is completely unaware of how easily someone could see her in all her half-naked glory. 3. Sukuna could overpower her if it came down to it. Or maybe it’s 4 things. From the beating of his heart and the warm rushing feeling heading towards his dick, he learns the drug he thought he needed might not be a drug at all.
-
It doesn’t take long after that to finally meet her.
Before taking his most recent job, Sukuna had nearly consumed everything in his fridge. What was left was now finished and he spent a lot of his morning sulking at a half empty milk carton, his breakfast for the day. He hated eating out, it messed with his figure.
The local grocery wasn't too bad of a walk from his place, although he hated carrying everything back. He always bought a few necessities and a few ingredients to quickly whip something up for his dinner. Today, he’d have to bulk up if he doesn’t want to keep coming back.
As much as he hated the public, shopping never seemed to be a problem for him. He was tall and intimidating, he never smiled, he was always tense; people tended to avoid him like the plague. He appreciated it. But, as he enters the frozen meal aisle with his cart half full he wishes that just for a moment, he looked approachable. Then, this would be much easier.
There she was, in sweatpants and a cropped tube top, looking at the frozen pizzas. She looked like she had been home all day. She was much cuter now that he could see her better. A lot cuter. She’s pretty as hell.
Thank goodness, too. He already knew what her body looked like, what with her constantly taking pictures of herself in front of the window. She liked to play dress up, she would try on entirely different outfits before she was satisfied. Pretty soon, the colors of her bras and panties would be ingrained into his memory.
He stood there looking her up and down for a few more seconds before he started browsing once more. Although he really was looking for food he wanted, he used this opportunity to slowly get closer to her. He pretended to be interested in some frozen broccoli and he snuck a look at her. To his surprise, and enjoyment, she had done the same. When they made eye contact, she jerked and looked away. A couple moments after that, she grabbed her food and walked away into another aisle.
Sukuna chuckled to himself. She wouldn’t get away that easily. He dropped the broccoli in his cart and followed after her. He hadn’t seen which aisle she’d gone into, so he kept walking down and looking into each one until he found her trying to get some chips from a high shelf. He smiled upon seeing her struggle. Maybe this would be easier than he thought.
He managed to walk right up behind her and reach for the chips she was trying to get before she got startled. She gasped a bit and looked up at him. He looked down at her. Fuck, she was pretty. His heart started to pound, he could practically salivate at the idea of taking her home.
He hands her the chips before she can say anything, then walks away. Before he’s out of her sight he hears her say, “Thank you so much.”
Her cadence, the velvety softness of her voice; it made him want to drop to his knees. How sweet would she sound if he bit into her neck? How soft is her yelp when she stubs her toe? How shrill is her scream when she’s in pain?
Her appreciation made him stop in his tracks. He turned over his shoulder to look at her. She seemed nervous and her eyes were uncertain. Sukuna began to feel restless. So many ideas of what he could do to her if he got her alone were rushing through his mind and she was none the wiser. This aisle has been empty and no one has come by. He could take her right now.
Instead, he looks her up and down. “Yeah, sure.” And then he walks away with his shopping. He leaves wondering when next they’ll meet, she does the same as she watches his back.
-
“Still haven’t called the maintenance guy, huh? Lazy jackass.”
Sukuna turns his head to the side and glares at his unwanted guest. Toji may have been his best friend, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t want to break his fat neck and bury him in the park. Besides, that title meant jack shit. They met in jail and Toji helped him get on his feet when Sukuna’s sentence was up. Toji never really left him alone and Sukuna stayed because his family was rich. If anything, they were close acquaintances who had sex sometimes.
Speaking of Toji’s money, the asshole grew up in an affluent family which means his standards were a bit too high for the humble abode that Sukuna prefers. It was probably the most annoying part about him. He was complaining about the door to the bathroom. It didn’t close correctly so you had to force it shut. Something that just isn’t enough of a problem to be bothered to try and fix.
“Stop coming over if it annoys you so much,” Sukuna responds, taking another drag from their second blunt for the morning. He was finally starting to feel something from it and he didn’t want to hear Toji whining about bullshit.
“Nah, I think I’ll keep coming. Especially with your fine ass neighbor.” Toji walked away again, not seeing Sukuna’s head jerk towards him. What was he talking about? Sukuna didn’t tell him about her. Did he see her?
“Why the fuck are you in my room?” He gets up to follow behind him. Sukuna looks down the hallway and sees both his room and the bathroom doors wide open. The bathroom was empty. “Get out.”
He starts walking towards his room door but jumps back when Toji rushes out of it. “Come look at this,” he says, grabbing his arm.
Toji had this crazed grin on his face and he was tugging him along impatiently. “What the hell are you-” Sukuna’s words die in his throat as he gazes upon what had Toji so excited. It was his beautiful neighbor changing in front of her mirror again except, there was a big problem. She had never been completely naked before.
Holy shit, her body could stop a truck. Sukuna let his jaw drop. His eyes raked her from her breasts to her legs. She would turn around occasionally, walk back and forth in front of the window, oh he loved the way her tits bounced. He wanted her on top of him, his dick sliding in and out of her while he latched onto her nipple.
“She’s sexy as fuck, huh?” Sukuna’s unceremoniously snapped out of his trance by Toji’s comment. He turns his head towards him looking at his smile and twinkling eyes. “She do this all the time? Does she even know?” Toji gasps and looks him in the eye. “Does she do it on purpose?”
I’m that moment, a switch had flipped inside of Sukuna. Toji was watching her before he brought him in here. He saw her naked first. He shouldn’t have seen her at all. The warm swarm of butterflies in his abdomen had fluttered away, a feeling of rage building in his heart instead. She was Sukuna’s to look at, not Toji’s.
To answer his question, Sukuna shrugs. Then, they both turn towards her again only to make eye contact with her. They see her gasp, cover herself and shriek before running from the window. “Fuck,” they say in unison before shutting the curtain.
“I blame you for that,” Toji says despite both of them being at fault. He puts his hands in his pockets and walks out of the room. “Where’s the blunt?”
Toji may have forgotten about that little encounter, but Sukuna doesn’t think he can forget anytime soon. He hates that Toji got to see her like that. They still haven’t spoken more than once to each other, and now she knows he’s a pervert that stares at her through their windows. Sukuna scowls at the ground then slams his hand into the wall. She’ll leave soon just like the last one did, but this time, he doesn’t want to accept that as a possibility.
He gives himself time to calm down before joining Toji again. He can’t bring work home again.
-
It was over.
He saw her once after that incident. Waiting for Toji to pick him up for the night, he stood outside the local gas station smoking a cigarette. She’d been on his mind since. She invested in curtains, unfortunately. She was really uncomfortable. He’s not even sure if she’s left the apartment.
Thinking about what happened made him furious. If Toji hadn’t gone into his room he would have never seen her. Oh he just can’t shut the hell up about the shape of her ass and how he would let her suffocate him with her gorgeous thighs. Sukuna sighed, her thighs were gorgeous weren’t they?
She was a missed opportunity. There are so many ways he could have started something with her. It’s not like she didn’t like him, had they met again before that, he’s sure he could have gotten her number. Usually, missing out on a woman wasn’t that bothersome, but she was different for him. He looked forward to beating his dick under the windowsill while she tried on clothes. His imagination wasn’t bad, but by the time he came in his hands, his dick was red and sore and his arm was tired.
His memory is not enough. He wants her.
He looks at the time on his watch. A quarter ‘til midnight. He rolls his eyes. Toji’s always late. A quick snack is in order.
Sukuna mindlessly stares at the powdered donuts wondering if he really feels like fucking up his clothes and having dirty fingers. He hates club bathrooms, the one here is just as bad, and he doesn’t want to lick his fingers. Maybe he won’t. But right before he decides to leave, the door opens. He turns his head upon hearing the small ring of a bell, but doesn’t pay attention to the culprit until they’re in the same aisle. “Oh shit,” he said before he could stop himself.
He tries to look away before she notices, but it’s too late. He looks back at her and grimaces. The girl is shaken to her core. Poor thing is afraid. And while Sukuna feels a bit bad about making such a cutie so frightened, it kind of…warms his heart. She takes in a deep breath and twists back around. She doesn’t even buy anything. She just leaves.
He almost chases her. He stands in the aisle still reveling in her presence. He breathes deeply thinking about how nice it felt to have such power over someone. Hm.
Sukuna leaves the store only a few moments after her. Toji’s BMW was running next to a pump as he got out of the car. “Oh shit, there you are.” He grins. “Guess who I just saw.”
“I know. She was running from me.” Sukuna says, getting into the passenger seat.
Toji cackles while driving away. “Damn, so she’s scared of us, huh?” Sukuna shrugs. “She looked like it. Girl was huffing it. Actually…she ran down the street towards where we’re going.”
Sukuna raises a brow at him. Toji doesn’t say anything and just keeps smiling. “So?”
He turns on his beamers and slows down as he drives between the apartment buildings. Sukuna’s eyes widen as he realizes just what Toji’s trying to do. And soon his lips follow. Just up ahead was a figure with a hoodie walking very quickly. They turn around and immediately shield their eyes from the bright lights. It was her.
She seemed confused at first, and the bright light contrasted with the darkness of the night blinded her from seeing who was in the car. However, she didn’t stop walking or slow down. She decided to mind her business instead. It could be anyone. Anyone. Even though it was the same car waiting at the gas station.
Despite her telling herself that she’s okay, she couldn’t help but notice how they were matching her speed. And that once they had gotten right behind her, the window was rolled down. And that she still had a block left to go.
“Ay,” Sukuna shouted from behind her, effectively terrifying her. She turned to see his smile and upon further investigation, she saw Toji’s from the driver’s seat. Oh no. “You can’t say hi? You scared of me?” He taunts.
She ran.
-
And that was the worst thing she could have done.
There have been a few recent instances that made her question her move to this city. She was hoping to start a new life, away from her family, away from her ex, make some new friends; she didn’t think she would be planning to move out after a couple months.
That man…she didn’t know what the hell his problem was. Why did he and his friend follow her out of the gas station? Was he crazy? Did she do something to him? Since they followed her, she’s been racking her mind trying to figure out what the hell she did to deserve this. Before that, she had only ever spoken to him once at the grocery store. He was extremely intimidating, but she was intrigued by him. She didn’t mean to stare, but he was very attractive. Clearly he had seen it as some sort of invitation. Maybe he followed her into that aisle and it wasn’t just an act of kindness.
Coming home after work had become so much more nerve wracking. In fact, coming out of her unit brings her horrible anxiety. She’s constantly looking over her shoulder. Tries to pretend the building across doesn’t even exist. She doesn’t understand what took her so long to get curtains; it just wasn’t a priority for her. Either way, she didn’t deserve to be punished for her forgetfulness.
She’s in a weird position where the longer she goes without seeing him, the more worried she becomes even though she never wants to see him or his friend again. Currently, she was in the elevator heading up to her apartment. She was catching her breath and trying to relax now that she was safe. She does this everyday now.
She couldn’t wait to be home. The entire day she’s been feeling like complete crap. Her heart refused to leave her stomach. She dropped so many cups behind the bar that she spent more time sweeping and wiping up drinks than making them. And she was on the verge of tears the entire time. It was nice to be home, but she wondered how bad it would be tomorrow.
In fact, it was so bad today that although she was physically relaxed, her brain just wouldn’t be quiet. It kept telling her to stay alert, that there was still something waiting for her. She tried her best to ignore it and enjoy her night. She was going to kick off her shoes, rip off all her clothes, warm up her leftovers and hit her bong. She was off tomorrow and she is not planning on leaving her room at all.
She messed with her keys when she approached her door. All the apartments had two locks, a deadlock and a lock on the handle, but she was looking for another that she could attach herself. The home goods store near her didn’t have any promising ones, so she had to wait on a shipment.
She reached for the handle to unlock it. Her hand twisted the lever and she retracted it immediately. Her heart starts racing once more, but then she realizes the door was still closed. When she can’t get the door open, she sighs in relief. The deadlock was still intact and locked. The apartments are just shitty.
As relieved as she was in that moment, this just meant she had another problem to deal with. She couldn’t go with one of her locks not working, especially not the handle. In fact, maybe she’ll deal with it tonight. She does have tools and she can be pretty handy when she needs to be.
Like she wanted to, she kicks off her shoes and rips off her jacket. She almost takes off her clothes before she notices a certain smell in the air. Her apartment smelled of weed, but it smelled like someone was actively smoking right at that moment. Maybe it was her next door neighbor.
She walks through her silent home. Maybe she should get a cat. There are quite a few friendly strays around. She could afford-
What was that noise?
A bump. In her bedroom.
What could it have been? Had her worst fears come true?
No. It’s not possible…so why had that sinking feeling returned in full force? There was nothing in her room. There was no one in her room…
-
Toji had broken the lock for him. 'Just record it for me,' was his end of the bargain.
The place was just as cute as he thought it was. She still had a lot of things unpacked, and she hadn’t gotten a couch for the living room. Hm. He wonders if she really is planning on leaving. That would not be good.
He would want her to stay, but if she can get away from him, at least he’ll get a taste of her.
She leaves her weed out. Hm…he would enjoy this better if he were high. And he’ll make her smoke too. 
When he heard her coming closer to her room, he put the bong down and stood up. Her room was small and it was pitch black, the only light coming from the embers in the bowl. He hit her closet door and she heard it. Fuck. He hopes she doesn’t get a weapon out.
And she didn’t. This girl is…something else.
He hides right behind the door in between the wall and the hinges. Then, he waited quietly and patiently until she slowly opened the door and turned on the light. And before she could try to look around, he slammed the door shut behind her.
-
It all happened in a second.
She heard the door slam and time froze. She told herself then and there, that she was going to die tonight. She knew who her killer would be before she turned around. Did she even want to?
She didn’t have a choice, her body reacted before she could think. All she saw was a small scowl, he had brown eyes, but they looked tainted with blood. His hands, his large hands, shot towards her head and before she could scream he trapped her mouth shut. His other hand gripped the back of her head.
She fought him as violently as she could. She scratched his face, pulled his hair, tried to poke him in the eyes; but he was quick to show her that he was much stronger than her. He pulls his hand off of her mouth and smacks her across the face. She can only scream for a second before his hand is back on her mouth and he pushes her into the bed.
Sukuna takes his hand off of the back of her head and squeezes her neck. He still holds her mouth shut. She gets weaker and weaker as the oxygen leaves her brain. He leans down towards her face to speak to her. “You want to live?”
Tears had long been streaming down her face, but this is the point where she finally breaks down wailing. She lets her arms fall and Sukuna loosens his grip on her neck. But only slightly. She takes a deep breath and cries into his hand. “Answer me,” he says. “Come on, pretty girl.”
She cries a bit more before nodding her head in defeat. “I know. You’re gonna do what I say?”
She nods again. “You’re not gonna scream when I take my hand off?” She sniffles and sobs again. “Because you want to fucking live, right? Right?” He tightens his grip on her neck again. She kicks her feet and nods as best as she can. “Go turn off your light and turn on your lamp. You’re gonna smoke with me.”
He gets off her and watches her to make sure she does what he asks. It takes her a minute, she lays there quietly sobbing and wiping her tears while Sukuna takes another hit of her bong, but eventually she gets up to turn on her lamp, then flip her light switch. “Lock the door too. I like the feeling of extra privacy when I’m taking a woman to bed.”
-
He disgusts her.
He forces her to take several long hits that had her in horrible coughing fits. And of course, it wasn’t long before she was completely inebriated. She couldn’t really move too much, or think too much. But even though she was out of commission, she could hear every word Sukuna said to her.
He talked her ear off about how he’d been looking at her for a week before they met at the grocery store. All the way up until she realized just how exposed she was from catching him and his friend staring. It was her fault, is what he said. He said she was stupid to not think anyone could see her. She should have gotten blinds or curtains when she moved in. A fucking dumbass bitch.
That’s how she felt.
He taunted her as he watched her take her clothes off. His dick was already in his hand, he had been hard for a while. Imagining his dick finally pounding into her as he squeezes the life out of her.
‘I think you wanted someone to watch you,’ he said to her. She hung onto every word he said, answered every question he had. ‘You’re an attention seeking slut, aren’t you? Nod your head.’ And she did. ‘What’s your name?’ And she told him. ‘Take that shit off faster and come hit this again.’
She was completely out of it, but instead of floating, she sank. She sunk deeper into the bedsheets, Sukuna weighing her down with every word. Every stroke of his hand on her thigh, every lick on her neck and collarbone, every bite on her chest. When he reached down between her legs and stroked her clit, she moaned, then cried in shame.
“Shhhh,” he whispered in her ear from behind her. “You’re gonna love me. And if you’re good I won’t hurt you.” He kisses her ear, then nibbles on it. He leaves a trail of wet kisses down the side of her neck. She cries and shakes, twisting her head away from him as best as she could. Sukuna’s hands explore her body eagerly. He can’t decide whether he wants to grip her hips or play with her nipples. She was so soft, just as he imagined.
He flips her onto her back. “Look at me, baby.” She opens her eyes only slightly, her tears blurring her vision completely before falling. He takes his hand to cup her cheek and wipe them with his thumb. As she gazed upon his naked body on top of hers, she accepts her fate: this man was going to rape then kill her.
He looked deranged. His brows were knit together with a lopsided grin. Her body is racked with sobs once more. “It’s okay,” he tells her. “Shhhh.” He slowly brings his thumb wet with salty tears to her mouth. She tries to pull her head away, but he quickly attaches his hands back to her mouth and head then he leans down towards her. “I thought you said you wanted to live.”
She’s actually not sure at this point. Does she want to live with this trauma? Does she want to continue being this man’s neighbor for him to torture however he sees fit? Does she want to have to look at his building every single day living in fear that he’ll do it again? Living in fear of his friend getting any bright ideas?
“Just relax.” He lets go of her head and goes for her neck. She moans as he bites and sucks on it, making sure to leave a mark reminding her of what he did. It won’t be the only one.
Sukuna slowly takes his hands and lifts both of her legs in the air. He licks his fingers while looking at her, then bites his lip as he plays with her clit once more. She breathes harder and harder with every rub. They don’t break eye contact, it does something to him. He’s reveling in her fear. Her eyes were shot, her mascara and eyeliner running down her face. It made her look even more beautiful. She was making him feral.
Sukuna’s dick was an angry scarlet and dripped precum all over her leg where it rested. He was big and it scared her even more. As his eyes explored her body, he got hungrier and hungrier. He slides a finger inside of her and starts pumping. Her pussy was slick with her arousal.
“Fuck,” he whispered putting in another finger. He pumped his fingers hard enough to make her wetness splash. She threw her head back and arched her chest into the air. She sounded just as sweet as he thought she would. She was turning out to be everything he wanted and more. He wasn’t waiting any longer.
He yanked his fingers out of her and searched her bedside table for his camcorder. She whined when he removed himself from her and watched him. Sukuna pressed record.
“Say hi to Toji,” he told her, sticking the lens in her face. She closes her eyes and tries to avoid the camera. He grips her chin with his fingers and forces her head forward. “Ain’t she pretty?” Sukuna pulls away from her face to record her body. He takes her tit in his hand to play with. He jiggles and pulls on her nipple before smacking it. When she squealed he did it again.
“He’s gonna love watching me fuck the shit out of you.” Sukuna sat and balanced the recorder on her nightstand perfectly angled to show their torsos and hips. He gets back on the bed to grab her waist and pull her towards his. He groaned when he felt his dick rub against her pussy. “You know who I’m talking about, right? My friend? You know he saw you before I did.”
He pauses to spit into his hand and starts jerking his throbbing shaft. “I wanted to kill that fucker.” Sukuna leans over once more and kisses her several times before capturing her lips in one long and forceful kiss. He rubs his dick against her entrance as he does this, with a desperate moan from both of them to accompany it. Sukuna rests his forehead against hers. “Tell me you’re mine.” His eyes are fiery, and she doesn’t wish to find out what will happen if she fails to do what he asks.
His tip begins to poke through her entrance. She whimpers and he brings his head down and bites her lip. “Come on…”
“I’m yours-” He finally starts tucking his dick into her. The feeling of being inside her was heaven on Earth. He wasn’t ashamed of how loudly he moaned. She was louder anyway. They always are. Even when they don’t want it.
“My name is Sukuna.” She takes all of him like a fucking champ. And looks good as fuck while doing it. And her voice…
“I’m yours, Sukuna.”
A tear ran down her cheek. The dragging of his dick against her walls was nothing like she’s ever felt before. It felt so good, but she was the unhappiest she’d ever been. She’s terrified and unsure if she’ll live to see tomorrow. He says he won’t kill her if she’s good, but what does good even mean to him?
She knows there’s nothing she really could have done to avoid what was currently happening to her. This man- no, Sukuna, saw her when she was first moved in and decided then and there that he wanted to rape her. No matter what he claims about her being rude and ignoring him when he helped her. And yet, she blames herself.
If she had just gotten curtains or blinds early enough, then maybe she could have avoided him. Or maybe she wouldn’t have existed to him at all. At least he wouldn’t have known what floor she was on or her room. Maybe he wouldn’t have known what building she was in.
She was so fucking stupid.
-
He repeated that all night.
‘Stupid fucking bitch,’ he would mutter under his breath. ‘Changing in front of a window, thinking no one’s gonna see you? Posing in mirrors and shit?’ He fucked her at a smooth and steady rythym, she was soaking wet and splashing all over his stubble. The sheets were damp underneath. ‘Oh yeah. You like it when I talk to you like that?’ She couldn’t stop herself from crying in humiliation.
He asked her to cry louder for ‘Toji’, which she did, and he proceeded to smack her across the face for being too loud.
He felt amazing, he pushed her legs into her chest and hammered into her. She cried into his mouth as she came all over him. Her pussy squeezing his member drive him insane and before he knew it he was cumming inside her. ‘Fuck…’ He pulled out and jerked the rest of his cum onto her pussy and thighs. He quickly grabbed the camera to show Toji, with the flash on.
‘Look at that shit,’ Sukuna made sure to examine her at every angle. He pushed his finger into her and chuckled when she moaned. His index was covered with his cum and he brought it and the camera up to her body and face.
She was completely tired out. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t speak, she could barely even lift her eyelids. Sukuna kissed at her like a dog, then maneuvered the camera to her face. Her face was soaked with tears and spit. Her makeup had smudged everywhere and ran down her cheeks. Her hair was a mess, and she ached everywhere.
Her mouth hung open and Sukuna proceeded to jam his finger into it. He used it to pull her head back over to him and made out with her. Then, his dick started poking her ass.
She had no idea what time last night they were finally done, talk less of when she actually fell asleep. He smoked a blunt after the whole thing, sat her up so he could make her smoke too. He found her liquor cabinet. The night got worse.
She puked her guts out then fell asleep on the floor, but now she was in her bed trapped underneath him. They were both naked. She was sore as the day was long. He snores next to her. Holy fucking hell. She’s alive. Why is she alive?
She starts breathing heavily and looking around her room. She doesn’t know what to do. She didn’t think she would still be here.
In a flash, he’s up. His hand is over her mouth, and his eyes are staring into hers. He has a poker face. She shakes in his clutches and her eyes fill with tears already. “Relax. Listen to me. I know what you’re planning.”
What? What is he- “I dare you to fucking try and move away from me. I will follow you and ruin your life.”
“You said you were mine last night? Then you’re mine. You’ll do what I say, and I’ll do as I please with you. Do you understand?”
All she could do was nod. What could she say? She was planning on moving despite not having the money for it. She would have to save up. And now that he’s shown her what he’s capable of, why would she take the risk? 
Why is this happening to her? What did she do to deserve this? Want a better life for herself?
-
Sukuna was pleased with how the morning was going.
She was sitting on a stool in her dining room watching him make them breakfast with an ice pack on her face and a blanket over her body. She didn’t know what to think.
Suddenly, he perks up and turns towards her. “You got a phone, pretty?” 
She could throw up again. She swallows and points towards the hall . “My room,” her voice was hoarse and weak. “On the other side of the bed.”
He pauses and blinks at her. She gets scared again wondering what she did wrong this time. He turns the heat off. “You’re coming with me.”
Toji answers in a flash. “So, how was it?”
“You’re gonna like what you see.” He turns towards where she’s sitting on the bed. “Isn’t that right?” She’s not amused.
“Are you…are you with the bitch right now?” Toji asks.
“Yeah,” Sukuna makes his voice dreamy. “We’re going steady.”
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ending a/n: Please lmk what you think ! Thank you for reading !
Masterlist
W E L C O M E P A G E
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incognit0slut · 10 months
Text
Lose Control
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
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Spencer finds himself locked in a room with his rival. Based on:
warning: 18+ explicit content including oral (both), hair-pulling, chocking, and unprotected, semi-public, hate sex
words: 6.8k (I'm a smut-with-a-plot kind of person)
a/n: this is not enemies to lovers. This is, quite frankly, enemies to (fuckable) enemies. Also, we hit 1.2k followers!! Tysm!! I legit made this blog 2 months ago that’s crazyyy😳
MASTERLIST
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“…mind games until you lose control…”
CHANGE WAS INEVITABLE WHEN IT CAME TO HIS WORK. Spencer encountered many great people walking through the door of the bureau throughout the years he worked as a profiler. Most of them he genuinely liked, and most of them he considered more than mere colleagues. But from all the people he had to work with, there was one person he really couldn't stand.
"Move out of the way, Reid, you're blocking the way."
He turned to see the last person he wanted to indulge in standing close to him, a hand on her hip and a frown on her face. "There is literally enough space for you to pass through."
"And jeopardize myself by touching you?" She wrinkled her nose. "I think I'll pass."
His gaze, usually warm and welcoming, hardened into a steely resolve. It pierced through her like an icy dagger, radiating an unmistakable contempt. He then backed away, walking further into the room that held rows of shelving units lining up the space. "What are you even doing here?"
"Well, ever since we found the victim's body surrounded by those cryptic signs, it reminded me of the cult massacre which happened in—"
"St. Joseph, 1947," he finished.
"Yeah, although this isn't mass murder, I thought the nature of the death was very similar to that old case." He could practically hear the smugness in her voice as she continued, "I also knew you'd be here and wanted to beat you to it."
His gaze settled on her standing by the door. "I don't think that's going according to plan considering I was here before you arrived."
"Please, you just got here. I bet I can find the files before you do."
His brows furrowed. How could he not feel some kind of disdain when she was acting the way she was? One might say he was acting too immature for his age, for a man who was close to pushing forty he did consider himself too old for petty fights. But it was hard to keep his composure when she was often the one taunting him, ridiculing him with that haughty mouth of hers.
It was better to ignore her presence completely, so he did just that, focusing his attention on the files in front of him as she stepped into the room.
She frowned, feeling her throat clenching before coughing out loud as dust particles greeted her entrance. She was busy trying to swat the specks of dust away from her face when something solid suddenly nudged her feet. Her eyes swept towards the floor.
"Why is this massive book laying here?" She picked up the thick paperback and read its title. "The Anatomy of Motive?"
Spencer's head snapped in an alert. "Wait! Don't—"
But it was too late. The old wooden door hanging loosely on its rusted hinges creaked without any support to keep it ajar, and with a resounding thud, it closed, the sound echoing through the stagnant air. "I put that there for a reason," he grumbled. "And now we're stuck here."
She leaned forward and wrapped her hand around the handle, trying to yank the door open. The panic on her face was evident when it didn't budge. "Shit."
"You can only open it from the other side."
She turned towards him. "Do you have your phone with you?"
"No."
She groaned because her own device was also securely tucked in her bag. Not wanting to be locked in a room with the last person she wanted to be with, she started pounding on the door frantically. "Help! Penelope! Luke!" Bang. Bang. "Anyone!"
"Nobody's going to hear you."
She tuned him out.
"Emily! JJ!" She pressed herself against the door, drawing her mouth close towards the tiny gap between the wooden panel and the wall. "Help! We're locked in!" She suddenly caught his movement from the corner of her eyes and turned to him, noticing the way he was already studying a file.
"What are you doing?"
He slipped back the document into the cabinet and went through the other folders. "Might as well work until they realize we're gone."
She straightened herself and glanced at the watch around her wrist. "But it's late. What if everyone's gone home and we're stuck here for the night?" A thought struck her and she looked up in horror. "Or for days?"
"Then you have yourself to blame."
She glared at him. "You're not helping."
Spencer looked up to see her jaw clenching, accentuating the sharp angles of her face. Her normally composed features, so delicately balanced, now seemed to unravel in a heat of fury. It was the only expression she held every time she had to deal with him.
He glanced away and focused back on his task. "Don't worry, we have a team of competent profilers. If they can find dangerous criminals throughout the country, they can also find their two missing agents."
She considered his words and acknowledged the truth behind them, so she reluctantly moved to the other side of the room, going through the shelves opposite of him. The space went completely still as they both went through the stack of folders shelved between the old cabinets. It wasn't until curiosity got the better of him that he finally looked up, his eyes falling onto her form.
Her back was facing him, giving him a view of her tousled hair falling down over her shoulders. His eyes involuntarily trailed the contours of her body, betraying a mixture of intrigue and curiosity. His gaze lingered upon the gentle curve of her shoulder, the graceful line of her spine, and the sway of her hips as she moved onto the next shelf, her steps echoing through the silence and it was then he realized she was wearing heels.
Again.
This wasn't the first time she decided to wear shoes that looked very uncomfortable to wear. Who even wore heels in this line of work? Being an FBI agent meant you had to be quick on your feet because anything could happen unexpectedly. He once voiced out his opinion on this matter, which she only answered with, "My choice of clothing won't reduce the capability of my brain, Reid. You and I are still doctors even if I wear a bathing suit to work."
"It's not about your choice of clothing, it's about being practical."
"That's why I keep a pair of sneakers in my drawers,” she had haughtily replied, then narrowed her eyes at him. "And don't comment on my shoes when I've held myself from judging on your ugly cardigans."
His cardigans were not ugly.
He shook the memory away as eyes roamed over her again, noticing her very exposed legs. She was also wearing a skirt today, something she often did and something he never dared to have an opinion on, knowing she would probably bite his head off if he did.
"Stop staring at me."
Spencer cleared his throat at being caught. "I wasn't."
"I could practically feel your eyes on me." She looked over her shoulder. "I have great spidey senses."
There was a sudden pause. "Spidey senses?"
"Yeah, like Spiderman." When he didn't respond, she turned around and faced him. "Please tell me you know who Spiderman is?"
When he returned her gaze with a frown, she couldn't help but laugh, turning her back towards him again. "You know this is why people like me better than you. We both may be smart, but you got to admit, my knowledge doesn't simply stop on academics."
He should've been offended by her words, he should've countered back a vile reply, but her voice became white noise to him as he watched her body leaning down, picking up a document that slipped from her grasp. His eyes caught the way the tight skirt clung to her form like a second skin. The fabric, stretched taut against her curves, highlighted the alluring lines of her figure. The skirt's snug fit caressed her thighs, tracing their slender form and hinting at the softness beneath.
This wasn't the first time he noticed her beauty in this type of way, beneath all that glare she often carried whenever he was around her, he knew she was an attractive woman. It was her personality that often stopped him from marveling this insight. But being in this closed, tight space, Spencer was forced to study her, and with the way his body was reacting, he knew his lingering stare was more than simple admiration.
He could feel his blood pulsing down south, tightening underneath the confinement of his pants.
As she straightened herself, she felt a sudden shift in the atmosphere. She turned her head and noticed his eyes training on her body.
"You're still staring." She then caught a glimpse of something unguarded in his gaze, something that was definitely far from hatred. Her mind whirled with questions, trying to decipher the meaning behind it. "Stop looking at me like that."
A hint of a smile played on his lips. "Like what?"
"Like you either want to strangle me or—"
"Or?" He prompted.
Like you want to eat me alive.
It was the only way she could describe it. She was aware of how his eyes usually pierced her, how every movement she made or word she uttered could trigger this immense disdain radiating from him. But now the weight of his gaze bore down upon her, casting a palpable heat that danced across her skin. Something had changed, and she felt it in the intensity of his eyes, so different from the usual hostility she had come to expect.
They held a predatory gleam as if he could pounce on her at any moment.
“If I hadn't known you better," she carefully spoke, watching as he took a step towards her, and she took one back, bumping into the wall. "I'd say you're trying to flirt with me with those eyes."
"Me? Flirt with you?" He cocked an eyebrow. "Don't flatter yourself."
She scoffed, squaring her shoulders as he closed the distance between them. "You're right. What was I thinking? You can't even flirt to live."
"You don't even know how I flirt."
"Reid, I've seen you flirt," she said between fits of laughter. "Remember you tried getting that cop's number? You were stuttering and suddenly giving her facts about oil paintings. Paintings."
"She had an interest in fine art," he stated. "And if you must know, after giving those informative facts, I told that no amount of art could ever compare to her beauty as a compliment.”
She snorted, shaking her head in disbelief. "And that actually worked? She gave you her number?"
"No." Then a smirk curled on his lips. "But she did come home with me."
She frowned. That was new information. She never really thought about what went on in his love life, but hearing him implying his active sex life had her feeling strange. "She did?"
He took another step forward. "If I hadn't known you better," he carefully spoke, mimicking her words before. "I'd say you're jealous."
She tilted her head up and scowled at him. "Even if you were the last person on this planet I wouldn't consider breathing in the same air with you."
She waited for his response, but he didn't even seem to be bothered by her words. And as they stood there, holding each other's gaze, she became acutely aware of everything; their close proximity, the warmth radiating from his body, and the rise and fall of his chest. His unfamiliar scent lingered in the air, a distinct combination of earthy musk and a hint of something indefinable. She had never allowed herself to notice it before, but now it was impossible to ignore.
Her eyes then traced the lines on his face, sharp jaw, high cheekbones, and finally settled on his eyes. At first, she thought her eyes was deceiving her, but she knew exactly what held behind his gaze. It was the same expression she saw in all her past lovers. It wouldn’t have surprised her to see the same intensity on other men, but to see it on him? The guy who had always hated her guts the moment she corrected his statistic rants the first time they met?
Spencer fucking Reid?
It was too much for her to handle. She was used to his piercing gaze, his evident disdain. Not this. It became almost overwhelming that she decided to step away.
Just as she turned to retreat from the intensity of his gaze, her body froze as she felt warm fingers gripping her wrist. The contact sent a jolt through her body and her eyes snapped back at him. "What the hell are you doing?"
Ah, there it was, that hatred she was looking for blazing in his eyes again. "You see, I don't like you."
"Good." She held her chin up. "The feeling's mutual."
"You think you're better than everybody else, you think you're better than me."
She was about to retort another response when he suddenly yanked her, a gasp leaving her mouth. "But somehow I can’t help myself from wanting to taste you.”
Then it happened so fast. One moment she was trying to register what was happening, the next thing she knew his lips were on hers, moving frantically in desperate hunger. She couldn't believe he was actually kissing her. It also burned her up inside to find he was good at it. She wanted him to be all teeth and awkward so she could sneer at him and push him away, but he was holding her face in his hands like they hadn't spent months sniping at each other.
A turmoil of thoughts swarmed her mind—What are you doing? Why are you kissing him back? What the hell is wrong with you?—while she gripped onto his arm as a pleased sigh slipped through her mouth before she could catch it.
He slowly pulled away from her, eyes glittering in mischief. "Would you look at that?" he muttered, gripping her jaw and tilting her face like he was appraising her. "All bark and no bite."
She shoved his hands away from her face, ignoring how nice it had felt, wide and warm and firm. "Don't test me."
"Yeah?" His hand settled on her hip, pulling her against him deliberately slow, giving her every opportunity to knock his hand away, to sidestep him, to tell him to stop, but she didn't. He took it as a sign to run his hand behind her. "I think you're bluffing."
Her heart quickened when she felt him gently squeezing her ass. "A-About what?"
"All this bravado of yours," he taunted, his hands now trailing down to her sides. "I bet there's something sweet underneath all this bitterness."
"You don't know me," she hissed breathlessly. It was difficult to keep snapping back at him when his other hand ran up her leg, pushing her skirt up as he went, his grip encompassing the entire width of her thigh.
"Maybe not. But I'm always up for a challenge." His calloused hand brushed at the lacy edge of her underwear and she sucked in a shaky breath. "Let's see how long you can keep up with this attitude."
She opened her mouth to say something snippy, but he ducked down and kissed the words out of her mouth with a low groan. Her brain suddenly froze when his finger curled under the outline of her underwear and tugged it to the side, trailing his slender finger through her bare slit.
A smirk curled at the corner of his lips as pulled away, trailing his mouth along her jawline. His finger brushed along her slickness and it took a lot of self-control for her not to moan. "How are you already so wet?"
Although a small gasp emitted from her as she felt him sliding a finger, and when his thumb pressed against her clit, she closed her eyes, tossing her head to the side at the feeling of him filling her up.
"You're awfully quiet," he murmured against her neck, sucking a bruise against her soft skin as he began to pump his finger. "Who would've thought I had to touch you to keep your mouth shut."
She bit her bottom lip, fighting against the pleasure that surged through her, desperately trying to suppress the enjoyment coursing through her veins. "I hate you."
"No, you don't." His tone was vexingly calm, and all it did was rile her up more. She wished he'd match her frustration because his composure was annoying. Then to make matters worse, he let out an amused laugh. He fucking laughed. "Look at you trying to hold yourself back."
"I'm not—fuck." She gasped as she felt his finger curling inside her.
"Keep telling yourself that." He added another finger and she slumped against the wall, pressing back hard to keep herself upright as he pumped his wrist. "It's okay to admit you're enjoying this."
"I-I'm not," she huffed indignantly.
"Has anyone ever told you you're a bad liar?"
Her breath mingled with the sound of her arousal echoing in the narrowed space as he drove his fingers into her faster. "Shut up, Reid." She then grabbed onto his arm as the pleasure intensified, nails digging into his skin. "You think you're so smart, so full of yourself—"
"You really like picking up a fight, don't you? That's why you always have an attitude with me." His lips brushed her ear. "It gets you worked up. It gets you wet."
She quickly shook her head. "I just don't like you."
"Hmm." He leaned back and watched the way she tensed beneath his touch, her muscles coiling with delicate restraint. It was as if she fought against the pleasure that threatened to consume her, seeking to maintain control even as her body betrayed her desires. "I wonder if you'll like it as much if I put my head between your thighs."
The thought of having his face buried right where her arousal burned drove her over the edge. Her body betrayed her and she knew he could feel it too. "Oh wow, you're clenching around my fingers," he hummed in satisfaction. "Is that what you want? You want me to eat you out?"
"No," she mumbled but he found her hips bucking against his palm.
"Your body is saying otherwise." He withdrew his fingers but kept rubbing tight circles against her clit. Her blood was hammering under her skin and her legs shook as she tried to roll her hips up against his hand again. "Say you want me between your thighs."
She gritted her teeth, her muscles tightening in a valiant effort to hold back the mounting pleasure that begged to be unleashed. "I'm not saying that."
"Are you sure?" His other hand traveled along the back of her head before fisting her hair in his hand, exposing the column of her throat to him. "Don't you want to come all over my face?"
"Reid..." she mumbled hopelessly, her head spinning as his hot breath brushed against her skin. The thought of admitting that infuriated her because him actually getting her off was something she'd never live down. This was Spencer Reid, the man who had always infuriated her with his know-it-all statistics as if she hadn't already known half of the things he said.
But damn it, she really wanted him between her thighs.
"Say it," he repeated, moving his hand away entirely, and she grabbed his wrist desperately, pulling his fingers back to where she wanted them. "Say I want your mouth on me, Spencer, and I'll happily oblige."
"Reid—"
"Spencer," he corrected. "Say it."
Her body quivered, a taut wire stretched to its limit, yearning to snap under the weight of the pleasure that coursed through her. And then his finger suddenly stopped its movement and she knew he wasn't going to touch her again until she gave in. If that's how he wanted it, fine. She was going to consider this as one of their silly mind games, their usual banter whenever they tried to outwit one another. She could figure out a way to get back at him later. She could swallow her pride for now.
"I want your mouth on me," she reluctantly caved in.
"Did you forget my name?"
Unbelievable.
"I fucking hate you," she sneered. Then she pushed him away from the crook of her neck and leveled her gaze on him. "Just put your fucking mouth on me, Spencer."
He clicked his tongue disapprovingly. "You have a very foul mouth."
But true to his words, he eventually dropped to his knees, his hands trailing on either of her sides before he slipped her underwear down her legs. His fingers trailed along her skin as he did it, prickling the depth of her anticipation even when her mind was still trying to comprehend what she was letting herself in.
Because she had never thought of getting eaten out at work, let alone with someone she hated. Sure, hate was a very strong word, but it was what she was used to feeling whenever it came to him. It was easy to engross her hatred every time he treated her differently from the others.
Hate she could do, it came naturally to her. But to desire him, actually wanting him to bury his face between her thighs, was starting to mess her up, and not in a bad way. Not in a way that had her feeling repulsed, but in a way that made her want to grab onto his hair and pull his face right at the center of her heat.
Spencer looked up at her and smiled, as if he knew what she was thinking, and pushed up her skirt around her hips. His eyes bored into her as he hiked one of her legs onto his shoulder. His gaze traveled down her body, taking in her flushed cheeks—out of anger or embarrassment, he didn't know—and continued to sweep over the curve of her breasts before they stopped right in front of him.
"Look at you." He leaned closer, his breath brushed her damp skin. "Aren't you a pretty thing?"
There was something compelling about having Spencer sinking on his knees before her, but having his mouth wrapped around her clit pulled away her senses and her legs started to buckle that she had to grab onto the nearest cabinet for support. She stifled a moan, not expecting the enthusiastic way he devoured her from below with frantic motions of his wandering tongue.
This was so wrong. However, heat continued washing over, traveling up towards her face and burning at the tips of her ears. The more his mouth sucked onto her, lapping his tongue through her slickness, the more her body coursed with pleasure that she couldn't stop herself from sinking her fingers into his hair, holding him in place as she ground her hips over his face.
"For someone who claims to hate me," he whispered, his voice vibrating against her skin, his tongue pushing into her walls. "You sure are enjoying this."
A moan was thick in her throat until she swallowed it down, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of how true his words were. "You're annoying. So fucking annoying," she hissed.
Spencer hummed. "And you taste so good."
She gasped in surprise when she felt him lick a long stripe along her slit, the rough pad of his tongue catching her clit as she jolted. His fingers dipped into her thighs as he held her steady, lewd sounds leaving his lips as he continued to suck her wetness. His movements were suddenly fast, so feral and animalistic as he shamelessly lapped her skin, swallowing every liquid dripping off her body.
The built-up pleasure inside her continued to grow as she rolled her hips into his mouth, trying to focus on the sensation of him pressing his tongue against the same spot each time. Her chest was heaving as she tried to focus on the pleasure that was slowly taking over her rational thoughts, the coil inside her desperately close to breaking.
"Oh, god," Her voice shook, head tipped back and eyes staring at the ceiling as she felt herself dance on the precipice of release for a few agonizing moments before she finally started to shatter. Then a strangled cry left her lips as she began to buck her hips as he continued to suck her clit through her climax, the pleasure clouding her mind. It wasn't until he finally stood up, looking down at her with a grin that she finally took in what just happened.
"Do you still hate me?"
Yes, yes she did, especially with that smug smile of his taunting her. Yet she found herself hooking her fingers around the belt strap of his pants, pulling him closer as the weight of her resistance began to crumble under the force of his unwavering gaze. "So fucking much." The triumphant smile on his face grew as she started to unbuckle his belt, the sound echoing in the room. "Do you have a condom?"
"Do you really think I'm the type of person to be carrying a condom in my pocket?"
"I think you're the type of person who never gets laid." He threw her an uninterested stare which she decided to ignore. Then she let her hands fall to the side. "I'm not having sex without a condom."
Spencer weighed in her words. If he was smart, he would've stopped himself, pulled away, and accept her admission. But he didn't want to be smart, after depending on his intelligence throughout his life, he didn't want to be rational. It was definitely out of his character, but there was something about her that stirred a dormant part of him, awakening desires and emotions he hadn't known existed within his soul.
He had always prided himself on his restraint and self-discipline, but after finally having a taste of her, he found himself unraveling. He wanted more. So he leaned closer, and pressed a desperate kiss at the hollow of her throat, marveling at the way her body trembled from his touch. "Why not?"
She was going to regret it. She really was. But damn it, how could she restrain herself when he was sucking into her skin like a man starved. She splayed her hands on his chest and pushed him away before giving him the deadliest glare she could muster.
"I swear to god if you finish inside me I will kill you."
Then a smirk pulled at the corner of his lips. "Was planning to come in your mouth anyway."
She was about to retort a haughty response when he suddenly grabbed her by the elbow and turned her around, pushing her against the wall. She was taken aback by the newfound dominance he exuded in his touch. It was a side of him she had never witnessed before, and it sent a thrill of surprise and intrigue coursing through her veins, something she would never admit out loud.
He dragged his tongue across his lips at the sight before him as his hands reached for his belt, unclasping the strap before unbuttoning his pants, the sound of his zipper being pulled down echoing in the narrowed space. He then slightly pulled down his briefs, slipping out his cock before his knee wedged in between her thighs, parting her legs to open.
He slightly shifted, his jaw twitching as he gathered saliva in his mouth, craning his neck down to spit on her pulsing core before the head of his cock gently nudged her clit. Embarrassingly, she clenched around nothing. Her vision went white and she felt herself tremble as he positioned himself at her entrance, pushing in inch by inch.
"Fuck," he sighed, hips twitching as he finally slid into her fully, feeling her walls clenching hard around him. "I can get used to this."
She could get used to this too. She had never felt so full before, never felt herself being stretched like this so deliciously, but she certainly didn't need to feed his ego by moaning about it. "Well don't, this is the only time I'm letting this happen."
He pulled back his hips, leaving only the tip as he watched her slickness coated around him. "We'll see about that."
And then all hell broke loose.
He slammed into her with so much force that she let out a muffled scream as her eyes shot wide open. He relentlessly bucked his hips, his cock filling her over and over without self-control, the tip of him hitting her deepest parts relentlessly. She could barely even think as his hips fell into a rhythm, sending her higher and higher with each thrust.
Her legs tensed up even more at the pressure, his hands gripping her hips so hard his fingers dig into her flesh that she knew she would leave bruises. Behind her, he was grunting and growling through gritted teeth as he repeatedly buried himself into her without remorse. It didn't take long before his vicious thrusts had her eyes rolling back behind closed lids, her mind going entirely blank to everything but this very moment.
One of his hands released her hip before she felt him grabbing a fistful of her hair, just at the base of her skull, and sharply pulling. A high-pitched, breathy noise tore out of her at the feel of it. "Poor baby," he cooed. "Look at you so desperate for my cock."
She couldn't help but be stunned by his words. Who would've thought Spencer Reid was good at dirty talk? Definitely not her. It was as though he had unveiled a secret facet of his personality that had remained hidden until now, and she found herself captivated by this revelation.
Not that she was going to admit this, of course, so instead, she solely focused on the way he addressed her. "I am not your baby."
"You want me to call you something else?" He asked between bated breaths, hips thrusting into her. "How about Angel? Darling? Sweetheart?"
She let out a frustrated groan at his teasing but it was probably impossible to discern it from the rest of the noises she was trying to hold. "Are you always this chatty during sex?"
"No," he hummed as he picked up his pace, sending a helpless spasm through her.
"R-Really?" She mused breathlessly. "I must be special then."
He then tugged on her hair even rougher, causing her to curse loudly in response, her hips beginning to eagerly press backward into him as his hips jutted into her relentlessly like a man possessed. "Don't get too cocky."
"Just admit it," she whispered, pleasure racing down her body in waves. "You like me."
With another sharp tug on her hair, he abruptly plunged his cock so deep inside of her that she couldn't stop herself from arching her back. He held himself there as he used the grip on her hair to haul her backward to him, a surprised yelp falling out of her. "I don't like you."
Her back fell onto his chest and she felt his body vibrating behind her. "Then why is your heart beating so fast?"
"Well, sex is physically exerting so..."
How was it possible to be this aroused and annoyed at the same time? Wasn't sex supposed to be enjoyable? Well, she was clearly enjoying this, but it was hard to fully sink into the pleasure when he was driving her insane. Unless...
It dawned on her, that was her move. That was how she could play his game. Maybe she should be enjoying this to the fullest, maybe she should stroke his ego, get into his head, and have him feel as desperate as she was. A fierce determination ignited within her, fueling a newfound resolve to turn the tables on him. This was how she was going to get him back.
"Harder," she asked, pushing her hips into him.
His pace suddenly slowed down, uncertain whether he was hearing her right. "Yeah?"
She nodded. "Please?" she added before he could prompt her.
A satisfied sound escaped his lips—it was a sound she had never heard coming from him, loud and crude emitting between a growl and something coming close to a whimper, which had her smiling triumphantly. "L-Look at you begging now."
This was easier than she expected. She rolled her head back against his shoulder and let out a moan she had kept so hard on controlling. "I want you to fuck me harder, Spencer."
His sharp intake of breath at that moment was worth it. "I know what you're doing."
"What am I doing, baby?" she asked sweetly, dripping in forced affection that sounded nothing like her at all.
He instantly released the hold on her hair, his hand snaking around to grip her throat as his other hand slid around the front of her. "You're messing with me."
She let out a strained sound as she felt his other hand traveling down where they were connected. "I-I thought you wanted me to admit how good you make me feel? Is that not enough? You want me to cry out how amazing your cock feels inside me?"
Then she couldn't help her next words.
"Should I call you daddy?"
Oh, that got him. He hissed as the hand on her throat tightened. "You're a menace."
"A menace you enjoy fucking?"
His lips curled into a snarl. "I'm going to wipe that smug look off your face."
Only then he began to thrust back into her roughly. A series of breathy, needy gasps fell out of her as she held tight onto his forearm that was holding her by her throat. His other hand on her clit circled around roughly, touching her just right that she entirely lost it, her hips quaked against him as he groaned out in response, her walls clenching his cock.
Then his hand left her clit a few moments later, instead landing hard on her ass with a sharp smack that sounded throughout the room. His fingers dug into the flesh there as his hips began clumsily ramming into her, his cock twitching inside of her. The stimulation was too much for her that she clamped a hand over her mouth, trying to keep quiet as he stretched her harshly, the delicious burn only adding to the pleasure.
"You're still holding back?" He taunted, bringing back his hand before another loud smack rang in her ears, her ass burning from the pain. "Let that voice out, no one's going to hear you."
It was amazing how long she could hold in her pleasure because now her walls were starting to crumble when a particularly deep and brutal thrust had his cock hitting her just right. And then, it happened—the dam of restraint finally burst. A low moan escaped her lips, a primal cry of pleasure that echoed through the room like a song of surrender
"That's it," he grunted. "You sound so pretty."
As the sensations intensified, her breaths came in shallow gasps, her heart pounding in her chest. Once she let herself go, she couldn't stop herself from moaning out his name, to which he responded with his own moan, especially when she clenched around him even tighter.
"You gonna come for me now?" She helplessly nodded, not trusting herself to form any coherent words, squirming her hips against him for more. "Go on then," he demanded, his lips brushing the shell of her ear. "Come for me."
She finally snapped as she gave in to the sensation that had been gradually crawling its way up her spine. Pleasure was soon coating every inch of her and as her eyes closed. She didn't bother to muffle her cries this time as she fell apart around his cock, her body convulsing as he continued to thrust inside her, forcing the pleasure to keep growing stronger and stronger until small black spots started to appear in her vision.
When her climax had washed over, she was left dizzy and breathless, still leaning against him. His loud panting breaths quickly filled her ears, his chest heaving beneath her head and she could tell by the way his hips were fluctuating in their pace, the feel of his throbbing cock inside of her, that he was very close to his release.
Panic suddenly crept into her daze state and she craned her neck to look back. "Don't you dare finish inside me, I swear to god—"
Very abruptly he slipped his cock out from inside of her, his arms releasing their hold on her just as fast before turning her to face him.
"Get on your knees."
The ground scraped her skin as she quickly sank onto her knees, and just because he looked so damn good tethering in his pleasure as she stared up at him, she gripped his cock in her hands and took him fully in her mouth.
"Fuck," the gravel in his voice was prominent, her lips gliding effortlessly down his shaft until her nose hits his stomach. His hand finds its way into her hair as she kneeled there before him, fisting a bunch of it at the scalp, desperately needing something to tie him down to reality.
She slid back off his cock to take just his head inside her mouth, swirling her tongue around it before flattening it against his tip, licking a fat stripe while looking up at him through her lashes. Spencer sucked in a sharp breath, tightening the grip on her hair.
Maintaining his gaze, she took him completely down her throat again, essentially swallowing him, holding herself there until she gagged around him. She could taste him on her tongue as she continued to repeat the motion, tears welling at her lids and saliva building at her lips, seeping down her chin.
He groaned at the sight.
"I-I'm gonna come—"
And he did. She felt lightheaded as the first shot of liquid filled her mouth, and then he jutted his hips a few more times before another surge of his release spilled down her throat. She swallowed him whole, swallowed every drop of him into her mouth as he continued to look down in wonder. She never thought of ever being in this position, but now she decided there was nothing else more satisfying than to watch her rival come undone from her touch.
Although she couldn't dwell in her contentment for long because as she released him from her mouth, the sound of the door rattling waked her senses. Panic flashed in her eyes as they met his gaze, and they instinctively stepped apart before sprinting into action, Spencer tucking himself back in his pants, while she quickly got to her feet and pulled down her skirt, scurrying to the other side of the room.
It wasn't until she spotted her underwear laying by his feet that she realized she was still naked underneath. Spencer followed her line of sight and just as the door creaked, he bent down and quickly grabbed the fabric, shoving it in his pocket at the same time their friend entered the room.
"There you are," Luke sighed in relief, casting them both a look. "We've been searching everywhere for you guys. Are you both alright? I thought I heard screaming."
In that fleeting moment, they both exchanged a glance laden with unspoken messages, each silently urging the other to maintain composure.
"Yes. I-uh." She cleared her throat, struggling to suppress the heat rising to her cheeks, willing herself not to betray the blush that threatened to expose what went on before this. "I was screaming for help."
Luke watched them with keen eyes, skepticism etched upon his face. A subtle tension crackled in the air, barely noticeable to most but not escaping the scrutiny of his gaze. He watched as Spencer hid his face behind a file he was holding, and she was studying her nails as if they were the most interesting thing in the world.
He narrowed his eyes but didn't say anything, before stepping back towards the door again. "Well, come on, there's a new lead on the case. Everyone's waiting."
When he finally left them alone again, she let out a breath she wasn't aware of holding and quickly held out her hand. Spencer raised his eyebrows at her. "What?"
"My underwear?"
He stared at her empty hand, then at her face, and shrugged nonchalantly, leaving her dumbfounded as he started to leave the room before the door closed on them again.
"Reid," she hissed, following behind him. "Give it back."
He looked over his shoulder and gave her a smile, or something close to it because even after what happened a few minutes ago his smile was far from looking genuine. "Come by my place after work and I might give it to you."
Her steps faltered.
"Might?"
But his back was already facing her as he strode down the hallway. She stood there, feeling extremely exposed wearing nothing but her own skin underneath her skirt, and the only way to get back her missing piece of clothing was to force herself in his presence again.
She closed her eyes and sighed, not sure what she felt right now was either anger or exhaustion. Probably both—no, wait, definitely both.
Because what the fuck did she get herself into?
.
Quick question, if I make a taglist for my one-shots does anyone want to be added?
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theladysunami · 5 months
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I listen to a lot of audiobook murder mysteries, which has me thinking:
Shen Yuan transmigrating into a murder mystery… as the killer!
There are a couple of ways the story could go.
First Option: Shen Yuan lets his System know, in no uncertain terms, he will not be murdering anyone.
Its response: [Alternate Plotline Initiated. New Assignment: Designated Red Herring].
Poor Shen Qingqiu finds himself stuck in a whole murder mystery series, and any time anyone is murdered, he somehow ends up being the number one suspect!
The victim? Probably picked a fight with Shen Qingqiu at some point. (Shen Qingqiu tries to avoid such arguments, but it never seems to work!)
The murder weapon? Yeah, Shen Qingqiu is almost guaranteed to have touched it. (Shen Qingqiu is severely tempted to start wearing gloves 24/7.)
The body? Either Shen Qingqiu finds it himself at some inopportune time, and/or it was stashed somewhere “only” he is supposed to have access to. (At some point it's just: Shen Qingqiu opens a door… sees a body… closes the door. “Time to call the cops, yet again.”)
Shen Qingqiu ends up a tad paranoid about the whole thing, setting up cameras outside his house, in his office, in his car, etc. just to (hopefully) stop people from planting evidence any of those places.
If anyone asks about the truly absurd number of (eventually dropped) murder allegations, Shen Qingqiu insists he's cursed. Even with genre blinders on (making the number of convoluted murders in the area seem normal somehow), it's hard for anyone to argue the point.
For Shen Qingqiu's day job (when he's not busy being charged with murder) he works as a professor at a university with a highly regarded Criminology & Criminal Justice program. I'm thinking the original goods was a literature professor, with a strong distaste for cops, who was known for grading anyone in the criminal justice program exceedingly harshly. Naturally one of his students is the protagonist, Luo Binghe.
After his transmigration, professor Shen Qingqiu suddenly becomes a very kind and doting professor with a real passion for literature. This leaves Luo Binghe quickly smitten and makes him a very motivated amateur detective, since he's determined to prove his beloved's innocence as quickly as possible and as often as needed!
Second Option: Shen Yuan takes over after the original goods already committed the murder.
He wakes up with a splitting headache (the victim attempted to defend themselves presumably), looks at his bloody hands… looks at the victim… looks at the weapon… looks at his bloody hands again. “Damn it, Airplane.”
He decides he doesn't want to try and hide a body actually, just to be caught by the protagonist later and charged with a whole slew of things in addition to murder, so he calls the cops himself. He might as well take advantage of the fact he has a concussion and literally doesn't remember a thing. Maybe he can get the charges reduced somewhat and get a lighter sentence.
Of course the first cop that arrives at the scene is Yue Qingyuan, who as the #1 Xiao-Jiu stan gives Shen Qingqiu way too much benefit of the doubt. The most obvious evidence also keeps being erased or damaged by weird as hell coincidences.
Shen Qingqiu knows he certainly isn't responsible for damaging evidence and wonders if the System is working overtime behind the scenes to ensure there actually is a mystery for Luo Binghe to solve. (After all, it wouldn't be much of a story if Shen Qingqiu was already charged and sentenced before Luo Binghe had a chance to even do anything.)
To his complete bewilderment, after a few days leave to recover from the concussion, Shen Qingqiu is actually allowed to return to his university teaching job. He decides to make the best of it, since who knows how long he'll be a free man.
As in the first scenario, a few months later and Luo Binghe is absolutely smitten, not to mention all the other students and faculty that have come to adore him.
As Shen Qingqiu has successfully endeared himself to pretty much anyone and everyone local that could actually charge him or provide eyewitness testimony, not to mention all the shady shit about murder victim Qiu Jianluo the ongoing investigation keeps digging up, the plot stalls for a bit until the state police (aka Huan Hua Palace) are finally called in by Qiu Haitang.
Unfortunately for the ‘HHP’ folks, the protagonist himself is on Shen Qingqiu's side, and Luo Binghe is perfectly happy to muddy the waters by conveniently “losing” evidence, sending them after every single red herring he comes across, and “accidentally” digging up dirt on all the shady dealings going on in their department.
The System keeps trying to motivate Shen Qingqiu to hide evidence, lie, or do literally anything suspicious to progress the plot further, but all its punishment protocols involve sabotaging Shen Qingqiu's coverup attempts (of which he has none) or revealing information to the protagonist (who is complicit by this point) so it's fresh out of luck.
Eventually the System gives up and Shen Qingqiu is congratulated for “getting away with murder!” despite the fact he didn't actually do anything.
“Seriously? Does it even count as getting away with murder when the original goods was the actual murderer? I didn't kill anyone!”
[...]
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“The Scarlet Thread,” Point One (Vol. 1/2012), #1.
Writer: Christopher Yost; Penciler: Ryan Stegman; Inker: Michael Babinsky; Colorist: Marte Garcia; Letterer: Joe Caramagna
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rarepears · 4 months
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A nearby country just had a new monarch ascend the throne. Cang Qiong, as was the norm, was invited to pay their respects to the new monarch, reaffirm the standing alliance between cultivators and mortals (which pretty much boiled down to cultivators kill evil things, mortals stay out of cultivation affairs plus some trade agreements), and ensure that the previous monarch's soul wasn't still lurking around the palace as a ghost. You know, the standard stuff.
So Yue Qingyuan didn't think much when he sent the usual delegation of Shen Qingqiu (to handle the political negotiation and come back with observations of the new Emperor), Shang Qinghua (trade agreements), and Qi Qingqi (to talk with the court ladies and government official wives for the gossip).
The last thing he expected was for the new Emperor to recognize Shen Jiu as the little brother who went missing when the previous Emperor - the new Emperor's paternal uncle, from what Yue Qingyuan understood - undertook a military coup to secure the throne.
---
When Shen Yuan finally killed his super fucking evil tyrant uncle who had been sending a million assassins after Shen Yuan and his (unfortunately now dead) brothers, he got saddled with the throne. He knew that was going to happen! It was something he wasn't asking for, but it was either regain the throne or let his uncle finally succeed in killing him, the rightful Emperor, off. It was pretty shitty that his first month in this new world involved surviving a military coup in the palace where his new dad was murdered by his new uncle for the throne. If Shen Yuan thought being transmigrated into a body that drowned in the pond because of some harem politics for the crown prince position was bad, well, his life got a whole lot fucking worse.
But things were over. He was crowned emperor, had a million super tight best friends all high up in his government backing him, and even the cultivators were recognizing his reign as the legit one, so he was all fine.
Right??
NO! Because why the fuck was he just realizing now that his second life was actually taking place in PIDW and why the fuck was that Shen Qingqiu and the Cang Qiong delegation??? Like, he was busy living on the streets and plotting to retake the throne, sure, but how could he had missed that Cang Qiong was that Cang Qiong!?
Fuck, fuck, fuck. Where in the PIDW plot line was he in now? How far along is Shen Qingqiu busy torturing the protagonist and how much longer does Shen Yuan even have to rule his country before the protagonist comes to conquer? How the fuck is he going to stop the plot from continuing - how is he going to remove Shen Qingqiu from the plot?
Shen Yuan isn't proud to admit it, but he rolls with the first shitty idea that pops into his head.
He claims that Shen Qingqiu is his missing younger brother - he had like three dozen of them to be honest, his second life's dad was one horny motherfucker - and tries to keep Shen Qingqiu from going back to Cang Qiong under all sorts of familial pretenses.
Shen Yuan is sure that Cang Qiong is merely humoring his insanity by letting Shen Qingqiu go along with it all, having "family dinners" and making small talk while being careful to skirt around any true political talk, but his plan hasn't backfired on him yet.
YET.
He's sitting on this ticking timebomb and Shen Yuan might be in his 40s but he still feels like the same stupid 20 something year old writing 5k word diss reviews on PIDW chapters some days. If only he had a system to help guide him out of his own mess.
(Meanwhile Shen Jiu: I HAVE AN OLDER BROTHER WHO LOVES ME???? but I'm still sus about his motives. I will reluctantly allow him to shower me in presents and praises and spend time with him to investigate more.)
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mariacallous · 16 days
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Salman Rushdie has just published Knife: Meditations After an Attempted Murder. In August 2022, he was giving a talk at the Chautauqua Institution in New York. Hadi Matar, a 24-year-old from New Jersey, rushed the stage and stabbed him 15 times. It was astonishing that Salman survived. He lost the sight in one eye and sustained terrible injuries, but he’s still with us and he’s still writing, and unlike Hadi Matar, he’s still worth hearing.
We think of fanatics as stalkers with an obsessive knowledge of their targets.  Like the antisemites who compile lists of Jews in the media or the homophobes who so focus on the details of gay sex they might almost be closet cases
Most terrorists and bigots are not like that. They are like soldiers in an army who kill and hate for no other reason than tradition or men in authority have told them to kill and hate. If we were less fascinated by the pseudo-glamour of violence, we would see them for what they are: dullards and jerks.
In Knife Salman is almost as angered by the sheer lazy stupidity of his wannabee assassin as his violence.
“I do not want to use his name in this account. My Assailant, my would-be Assassin, the Asinine man who made Assumptions about me, and with whom I had a near-lethal Assignation … I have found myself thinking of him, perhaps forgivably, as an Ass.”
The ass “didn’t bother to inform himself about the man he decided to kill. By his own admission he read barely two pages of my writing and watched a couple of YouTube videos”.
That was enough, apparently, along with a little light indoctrination in the Levant.
We know from Matar’s mother that her son changed from a popular young man to a moody religious zealot after visiting her ex-husband in the Hezbollah-controlled town of Yaroun in Lebanon, a mile or so from the Israeli border.
“I was expecting him to come back motivated, to complete school, to get his degree and a job. But instead, he locked himself in the basement. He had changed a lot. He didn't say anything to me or his sisters for months.”
Salman quotes a wonderfully perceptive line from Jodi Picoult
“If you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”
Rushdie is openly contemptuous, as he has every right to be.
“I see you now at twenty-four,” he writes, “already disappointed by life, disappointed in your mother, your sisters, your father, your lack of boxing talent, your lack of any talent at all; disappointed in the bleak future you saw stretching ahead of you, for which you refused to blame yourself.”
This has always been the way. Readers old enough to remember 1989 when the Ayatollah Khomeini ordered Salman’s execution for writing a blasphemous satire of Islam’s origin story in the Satanic Verses,will know that Khomeini had not read it. Nor had the furious demonstrators in the streets or the regressive leftists and Tory ministers who upbraided him for the non-crime of causing offence.
Those of us who had read the book pointed out that it was a magical realist fiction which contained sympathetic accounts of the racism Muslim immigrants in the UK suffered. Indeed, the Tories of the day loathed Salman, we continued, because of his confrontations with official racism.
But after a while we fell silent. Pleading with his enemies felt demeaning. It gave them undeserved credit, as if they were reasonable people, who could be swayed by evidence rather than just, well, pillocks.
In Knife Salman attempts an imaginary conversation with his persecutor.
OK, he says, Islam, unlike Judaism and Christianity, holds that man is not made in God’s image. God has no human qualities, it says.
But isn’t language a human quality? To have language, God would have to have a mouth, a tongue, vocal cords and a voice, just like a man. The terrorist’s understanding is that God cannot be like a man, however. So, God could not have spoken to Gabriel in Arabic. Gabriel must have translated his message when he came to the prophet.
The angel made it comprehensible to Muhammed by delivering it in human speech which is not the speech of God.
Thus, the version of Islamic instruction Matar received in his basement when he switched from playing video games to listening to Imams was an interpretation of a translation.
“I’m trying to suggest to you that, even according to your own tradition, there is uncertainty. Some of your own early philosophers have suggested this. They say everything can be interpreted, even the Book. It can be interpreted according to the times in which the interpreter lives. Literalism is a mistake.”
For a while, Rushdie says he wants to meet Matar again at the trial, as if he wants to have the argument in the flesh.
He tells a story about Samuel Beckett, which could only have happened to Samuel Beckett.
Beckett was walking through Paris in 1938 when he was confronted by a pimp named Prudent, who wanted money from him. Beckett pushed Prudent away, whereupon the pimp pulled out a knife and stabbed him in the chest, narrowly missing the left lung and the heart.
Beckett was taken to the nearest hospital, bleeding heavily. He only just survived.
You will never guess who paid for his treatment. James Joyce, of course, he did.
Anyway, Beckett went to the pimp’s trial. He met Prudent in the courtroom, and asked him why he had done it. This was the pimp’s reply: “Je ne sais pas, monsieur. Je m’excuse.” (I don’t know, sir. I’m sorry.)
But the more he thought about it, the less Rushdie had to say to his enemy. The idea that you can have theological arguments with a man who wants to kill you for writing a book he hasn’t even read felt ridiculous.
Although popular culture is full of stories about murderers, and true crime podcasts top the charts, killers and fanatics are nearly always less interesting than their victims. More often than not they are just thick. Nasty and vicious, but thick first of all.
We are about to see the stupidity of fanatics deployed on a mass scale. Two thirds of Republican voters (and nearly 3 in 10 Americans) continue to believe that the 2020 election was stolen from Donald Trump, and that Joe Biden was not lawfully elected. They think it because that is what Trump told them to think.
Islamists told Matar that Salman was an apostate, and that was all he needed to know. Trump told Republicans the election was stolen and ditto.
If Republicans were consistent people, they would not vote for Trump in 2024. What would be the point? They would have every reason to fear that the deep state would rig the 2024 presidential election as it rigged the 2020 presidential election.
But they will vote for him because, once again, that is what he tells them to do.
In the end there is a limit to how much attention you can pay the vicious and the stupid.
They are not interesting enough, as Rushdie concluded with marvellous disdain as he contemplated the life sentence Matar will face.
"Here we stand: the man who failed to kill an unarmed seventy-five-year-old writer, and the now 76-year-old writer. Somewhat to my surprise, I find I have very little to say to you. Our lives touched each other for an instant and then separated. Mine has improved since that day, while yours has deteriorated. You made a bad gamble and lost. I was the one with the luck… Perhaps, in the incarcerated decades that stretch out before you, you will learn introspection, and come to understand that you did something wrong. But you know what? I don’t care. This, I think, is what I have come to this courtroom to say to you. I don’t care about you, or the ideology that you claim to represent, and which you represent so poorly. I have my life, and my work, and there are people who love me. I care about those things.”
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hypexion · 3 months
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The thing about Murders at Karlov Manor is that from a story perspective, it couldn't have been set anywhere but Ravnica. And it especially couldn't have been set on New Capenna.
The story of Murders is ultimately about the fallout of March of the Machine on both Ravnica as a city, and on Kaya personally. The motivations for the high-profile deaths that litter the set are tied directly to elements of the Phyrexian invasion. The manner of murder is specifically set up to overcome the barriers Ravnica as a setting provides to a murder mystery. And Kaya only gets involved because of her questionably defined but always present relationship with Teysa Karlov.
Ravnica also comes pre-built with a host of established characters, who conveniently all hate each other. This enabled readers to theorise about whodunnit, as each daily chapter provided more information and more intrigue. People considered all kinds of threads: Could Jace be involved? Might Azor be pulling the strings somehow? How does Judith plan to survive her crazy plan? Lazav?? By the time Proft said "I know who the killer is", you too could get it. (then for some reason they delayed the reveal chapter so they could reveal the killer in a spoiler stream. even when the story is good, the management is bad)
If you move the story out of Ravnica, the whole thing falls apart. You lose everything that makes it work. A new plane would be functional, but a lot less engaging. Fiora is about political scheming, even more so than Ravnica. And New Capenna...
New Capenna is not a particularly well constructed setting. It works as a sparse background for a Magic set, but when you start poking at it, it falls over. Like, one of the nicer ways to describe New Capenna is "discount Ravnica", because you are comparing it to one of the game's most successful settings. And that's what New Capenna is - a city controlled by a number of distinct factions, built out of specific colour combinations. But the New Capenna factions are not as good as the Ravnica ones (and the Obscura are literally just the Dimir). There is crime on New Capenna, but there is no authority against which that crime is committed, which makes things rather hollow. Ravnica, as strange as its laws are, has laws, along with people to enforce them. (note: I am aware of the Doylist reason why New Capenna has no police. Watson is still crying.)
Ravnica being well-developed allows it to function as a backdrop for a different idea. New Capenna's issues do the opposite. In fact, any return to New Capenna would need to reckon with how the setting got completely turned over by the return of the angels. You can't just say "well the crime has punishment now, onto the mystery". You have to actually engage with the big change, or you're just dragging New Capenna into a deeper hole.
conclusion: When the Magic story is good it's because the writer looked at the setting and characters they were given and used them together well. This is only possible if you have a setting and characters that can be used well. Ravnica has that, the crime plane does not.
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2rats1gogh · 1 month
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this has to be one of the dumbest takes I’ve ever seen
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I don’t even know which one makes me angrier. The fact that they think Daemon did anything at all for LOVE or the fact that they think Aegon did all that for fucking FAME.
Like how do you misunderstand two characters so fucking much??? This is actually crazy.
If you have ANY reading comprehension you would understand that the one and only reason why Aegon became a more responsible king and person, and actually started fighting this war, is because his six year old son was brutally murdered and now he is afraid that something might happen to his mother, his sister wife, his brothers and his remaining children. Like you don’t need to be a genius to understand that he did that for FAMILY, for LOVE. That was his main motivation. He never wanted power, responsibility or fame, he was fighting to protect his family.
Daemon on the other hand… like, I can understand why it can be a little hard to understand him, but BFFR. He did not orchestrate B&C for “love”. I bet he didn’t even like Lucerys that much, preferring his more valyrian looking sons with Rhaenyra over the dark haired bastards. He just wanted an excuse to kill a child with no consequences. When he killed Vaemond, he didn’t do it for “love”. He was enjoying it, with all those “say it…” and “he can keep his tongue.” that he was throwing around. He QUITE LITERALLY did it for fun.
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darkmuffinstudios · 2 months
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Was bored and decided to create a silly little one-shot of Errormare for @inkywellcrow 🤭
Who knows, I might get more motivation to make more parts, I might not haha
Baking One-Shot (Errormare) (1.7k words)
Darkxsoulzyxcaliberx
Dream’s birthday (and by extension, Nightmare’s) was only a few days away, and the two most dastardly villains of the multiverse were in the middle of making something for it.
You see, after many decades of struggle, the two guardians grew weary of the constant back-and-forth and had since settled on a truce; No more bloodshed and no more overbearing war meetings. After so long, however, the two had long since forgotten times of peace. It was nothing more than echoes of what could have been, as well as what once was… So, as always in their relationship, Nightmare decided to be the first to extend one of many olive branches that will occur down the line.
To show a sign of good faith and to celebrate the occasion, Nightmare had his boys come up with gift ideas that they would give to his brother. The dark king had hoped that, whatever the gifts may be, that the action alone would show that he intended to support this truce and to keep friendly relations with his other half.
But asking a band of miscreants and murderers was a bad decision in hindsight, and so after many, MANY days of brainstorming, he eventually caved to Horror’s insistence on a birthday cake.
Which brings us to the present…
“Error, you’re whisking batter, not pummeling it into submission.” Nightmare scolded lightly. He wiped his hands on the apron he was wearing, trying not to get too irritated at how sloppy of a job his partner was doing.
“This is stupid.” Error grumbled.
“Error— slower, slower.”
“Don’t— !” His body locked up at Nightmare’s complaining, and he drastically slowed down his pace to a glaringly slow tempo. He gave Nightmare a frustrated look, to which the king easily brushed off. “Don’t tell me what to do. I read the recipe too.”
“Uh huh.” Nightmare deadpanned, setting a metal tray on the counter. “You're also as blind as a bat without your glasses, my dear.”
“They would have just got in the way.” Error huffed. After a few more mixes, he decided that surely was enough of that, and he dropped the bowl into the counter with a loud CLANK. “There. Done mixing.”
Nightmare rubbed his temples. What was that method of reducing stress? Counting back from five? Whatever it was, it surely wasn’t working as well as he had hoped. “Please don’t slam the bowl down.”
“Mmhm.” Error leaned against the counter, dismissive.
For his own mental (and Error’s physical) wellbeing, Nightmare opted to ignore him for a little while. Once he sprayed down the baking pan, he glanced over Error’s work. There was still some dry clumps of the batter mix floating around, but he wasn’t going to correct any of it since he knows how much his partner loves to throw his tantrums. Besides, Dream has been a pain in his ass for decades— the least he can do is crunch on some raw flour to save him from future headaches.
Carefully, he lifted the bowl and poured the mixture into the baking tin. Using a tentacle, he grabbed a spatula he set out beforehand to scrape any excess, and quietly put the bowl down. He gave Error a mild look.
Error met his gaze and paused, looking to either side of himself. “… What?”
“That’s how you put a bowl down. Silently.” Nightmare said, his voice dripping honey and tar.
“Oh, fuck you.” Error griped, rolling his eyes so over dramatically that his head went with it. Nightmare couldn’t help but smile at how stupid he could be.
After making his point, he walked over to the oven with the pan. After opening it with a tentacle (fashioned with a cute little baking mitten), he placed the pan inside and shut it with his hip. Making note of the time, he finally allowed himself to slump against the counter.
Nightmare looked up at the ceiling. How the hell does Horror do this every single day? Willingly?? He couldn’t even imagine how difficult it would be to order his men around such a small space, never mind how destructive all of them already are. Just the thought started to give him a headache…
“So,” Error started. “Why didn’t you ask your uh…” He thought for a moment, his body glitching a little from the effort.
“Horror?” Nightmare offered.
“Yeah— the big, freaky guy— to do this for you? Doesn’t he do this stuff already?”
Nightmare sighed. “… Well… Monster food is magic—”
“Uh. Yeah— I know.”
“I know that you know—“
“Then why say it—?”
Nightmare turned and glared at him. “Just let me talk!” Error held up his hands defensively, glaring right back at him for a moment, before Nightmare eventually continued.
“Well, because monster food is made of magic, then cooking monster food involves magic too. It incorporates the chef’s intent, and can communicate unspoken feelings through each bite.” Nightmare idly messed with one of the spoons on the counter, staring at the oven glass as he spoke. “To put it simply, it has to be made by me. I may not be the best at baking, but he will understand and appreciate the gesture anyways. He is that kind of guy, unfortunately.” He scoffed.
“So why drag me into this?” Error groused. “I couldn’t care less about making ‘Mr.Sunshine’ feel any better than he already feels.”
“Oh.” Nightmare turned to flash a smug look at Error. “Because I didn’t want to suffer alone.”
Error stared at Nightmare. For a long, long moment. A quiet, high-pitched sound began to come from Error’s body— the telltale sign that he was starting to crash. “You’re joking.”
Nightmare shrugged. “Am I?”
Error grabbed the whisk from the counter, chucking it with all his strength at Nightmare. “YOU ASS!! I COULD HAVE LEFT AT ANY TIME?!?”
The king chuckled, letting the whisk hit his shoulder. “Of course you could have. You weren’t obligated to do any of this.”
Error threw his arms around, already hellbent on destroying the kitchen. He ripped the toaster from its electrical socket, threatening to throw it on the ground when Nightmare continued. “But you stayed because you love me.”
That got Error to freeze in place. He stared at Nightmare, bewildered for a few seconds, before slowly lowering the toaster onto the counter. “… Whatever.” He mumbled, stewing.
Nightmare smiled at Error’s obvious admission of defeat, finding himself slowly walking over to him. He stopped a good few feet away, settling on leaning against the counter once more. “You love me, and wanted to help me because you loved me.” He teased lightly.
Error bristled. “I will leave!”
“But then I’d be so sad if you did.” Nightmare touched his own chest, right over where his apple soul would be. “All alone… abandoned…”
Error huffed, crossing his arms. “Good! Feel bad!! Feel bad for tormenting me for HOURS while I slaved away in this kitchen for you!!”
“It was only an hour, dear.” Nightmare chuckled.
“NUH UH!! You’re wrong!!” Error scowled, swinging an arm out to the side and ripping a portal open to a random, unsuspecting world. He gestured wildly to the setting sun. “See!! HOURS!! It’s already growing dark!!”
Nightmare rolled his eye. “Mmhm.” He knew he wasn’t winning this fight.
Error smiled triumphantly, leaning a little closer to Nightmare. The portal fizzled next to them, disappearing soon after. “Apologize.”
Nightmare raised a metaphorical eyebrow at Error. “For what?”
“For being mean and awful and terrible!” Error demanded, counting on his fingers as he went.
Nightmare rolled his eye for the second time. “Mmmmmmno. I don’t think I will.”
Error leaned back, pouting now. “Asshole.”
Nightmare sighed. A brief moment of silence grew between them as they waited for the cake to bake before Nightmare sighed again, shoulder sagging. He looked at the clock hanging on the far wall of the kitchen, then back at the oven glass. The cake wasn’t rising at all.
“… Do you think he will like it?”
Error didn’t look at Nightmare, arms still crossed. After another beat of silence, Error’s shoulders sagged a little and he quietly responded. “What do you mean.”
Another beat of silence. Error didn’t like it. He turned back to glance at Nightmare, only to see the other have his hands folded against his chest in a sort-of self hug. His tentacles were curled inward on themselves, and Nightmare hadn’t looked up once from the oven glass.
It bugged Error. He tried again, softer. “What... do you mean by that?” Nightmare sighed again, a third time, and it was starting to get to Error. He shook his head. “No one hates chocolate cake. If I find out he does, I’m throwing him.”
“Not the cake.” Nightmare answered quietly, though he did smile a little at Error’s threat. The spectacle of the destroyer of worlds tossing his brother like a football was amusing, to say the least. He gestured vaguely, trying to find the right words. “My… message.”
“Message?” Error echoed, clearly confused.
“My intent.” Nightmare tried instead. “It’s… I want this to go well. I want this to be our first steps in making up with one another, and I tried to put as much as I could into this cake… I tried to not fill it with…” he sighed, the fourth time. “… with my lingering feelings of the past.”
Nightmare raised a hand. “I’m certain I didn’t, and I know this won’t make up for everything that has happened between us… but…” He slowly brought his hand back towards himself, back to where it was wrapped around his chest. “I don’t know… I lack the proper words at the moment.”
Not that Error needed all of the words to understand. He thought a little bit before he spoke. “That’s why you asked me to help you with this.” The dots started connecting more in his head as he turned to Nightmare. “You didn’t want to do this alone.”
Nightmare considered Error’s words. “… I suppose I didn’t.”
Error stared at Nightmare, trying to get maybe just a little bit more out of him, before turning to look back at the oven. “… I think he’ll like it.”
“You think so?” Nightmare’s voice sounded uncertain.
“Yeah.” Error shrugged. “He is that kind of guy, like you said.”
Nightmare smiled a little. “I guess you’re right.”
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annabelle--cane · 1 month
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I got into tma in 2022 on a road trip with no internet and then only tangentially interacted with the fandom (light hcs, fanart) and I am. so compelled to understand what the fandom was like in 2020. what were the takes. why was it so awful. does it explain why every time I try to look into protocol I get a rancid Vibe and jump back 5 feet.
to preface: on scale, it really wasn't any worse than your average fandom, it just A) got Very popular over a short period and B) that period was during a time of particularly high stress where many people suddenly could only experience a social life online. tma is also a fairly political and progressive work, which inevitably leads to certain kinds of Takes. it also got Very popular right at the point where the episodes were reaching their peak of explicit social commentary and sustained morbid tone, which, especially combined with point B from above, drew out some really visceral reactions from a lot of people. nothing was actually inherently rancid about 2020-2021 tma fandom, there was just a bit of a perfect storm of factors.
having said that. some common discourse themes:
the perennial shipping discourse. georgie is the only one of our leads to have never killed a person, but really, I pinky promise that your ship between two unrepentant serial killers is 100x more problematic than my ship between two unrepentant serial killers.
asexuality: how dangerous is it? on a scale of 1-5, with 1 being "mostly" to 5 being "completely," how humiliating is it to be asexual? what is the singular true asexual experience that is unproblematic to write about?
wow, jonny was so out of line for writing this episode, what gives him the right to--oh he said it's directly based on personal experiences? so sorry, my bad, I'll learn for next time. wow, jonny was so out of line for writing this epi--
I did not like this episode. this is obviously a direct act of violence against me. why would an episode be Not Good when there is, in the world, Sadness?
hello, I have sorted all of the characters into a simple chart that clearly delineates which of them are completely irredeemable monsters with no interiority or motives and which of them are perfect angel victims who have only ever been nice and never hurt anyone, ever (and if they did hurt someone then that person deserved it). if I see you adding nuance to any of my rulings, I will kill you. this also extends to the podcast writers. #ilovebinaries.
the characters... are queer... and maybe even other marginalized identities as well... and yet, they do bad things? there's not even a single completely morally innocent character? by god, did they not think about the implications this might have!
web!martin. lol people are so stupid for thinking that the theory is at all plausible, media comprehension much? that would lichrally imply that a queer, poor, mentally ill character might be capable of badness. what do you mean we are currently listening to an arc where he's an accomplice to serial murder.
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hamliet · 2 months
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Do you have any thoughts on how RWBY handled the white fang storyline?
Unpopular opinion: it's decent?
Now, now, before people come at me with pitchforks: yes, it's overly simplified. The entire story is a fairy tale, though, so that's not out of place. It also complements the rest of the story thematically, and manages to incorporate nuance and complexity in despite the simplification of issues.
I think it's a mistake to look at the White Fang as a 1=1 of the real life struggles of marginalized groups. That said, there obviously are parallels, and so people aren't mistaken to note those. I just think it's not meant to be an instructional manual and shouldn't necessarily be viewed as one, but rather a conversation starter in some ways. And yes, those conversations can and should include critiques.
So I'll go over the points that I think it did well and how those ties into real life, but also specifically how they work for RWBY's overall story. This does not negate criticisms, especially those by marginalized groups.
In contrast to some other fictional depictions, RWBY actually is better as well because it avoids the number one pitfall of such issues: the X-Men fallacy. I've talked about this in terms of Attack on Titan before, but essentially it's the idea that the problem with depicting discrimination against superpowered people is that, well, there is a logical reason for people to be concerned about superpowers; hence, it almost justifies that very discrimination it seeks to condemn. This isn't present in the faunus/human divide. They are both capable of superpowers.
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It also doesn't fall into another common pitfall: the idea that people have to be perfect to be victims of discrimination. The White Fang... has senselessly and cruelly murdered people; doesn't mean faunus discrimination isn't also cruel and senseless and doesn't justify it. And this is something that we do see in real life too--people trying to either completely whitewash the actions of radical anti-oppression movements, which can do awful things, or trying to use these awful things as evidence that these people deserve discrimination when really it's a result of rage and desperation at a society that refuses to give them anything. That doesn't justify the pain of the victims of the awful things (see, Weiss) but nor does it negate the righteousness of that anger.
It does portray the faunus as a fairly diverse group too, when fiction often portrays marginalized groups as a monolith. That's not true. People from one group have very different ideas about what liberation looks like, and what they want to achieve. People in marginalized groups are people, and they can be motivated by a variety of selfless principles and egotistical validation, and neither negate the other. See, Sienna vs. Ghira vs. Adam.
Now, of course within RWBY Ghira's more nonviolent principles more or less win out. That's because RWBY is again a fairy tale where you have to fight to live, but that also doesn't endorse violence. If you expected otherwise, wrong genre. Of course the real world is far more complex, but it's not as if there is no real world basis for this either. Peacemakers exist, and nonviolence has accomplished a lot before. Whether or not that's the be-all-end-all of the faunus struggle in RWBY isn't even clear, so I don't think it's intended to be the be-all-end-all preached moral as it applies to the real world either.
Story-wise, the White Fang functions as a Jungian shadow of society. If you do not take charge of your own life, you are letting others decide for you. The faunus who disagree with the White Fang take it back, because they have to acknowledge it to move forward in society. They have to integrate with it, and accept their own humanity: capable of good and what they might rather deny.
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This faction--the faunus who don't like the White Fang--are represented in Ghira, who becomes passive and steps back from aspects of the movement. However, when Blake arrives in Menagerie, this changes, because Blake's entire arc is about integration. Ghira then becomes active, working for the rights of the faunus and for the White Fang to be better rather than simply disavowing the White Fang in an attempt to be a good person, because doing nothing isn't exactly good.
On a more character level, the White Fang exists for Blake's arc. Her Jungian archetype is the Shadow. Like, it's literally her semblance's name. Hence, the idea of the shadow is gonna be important. If you want more on this, @aspoonofsugar has written a meta on it here and another here.
So, for Blake, on a personal level the White Fang (especially under Adam) represents the parts of herself she doesn't like. The part that ran from her family. The part that is violent. And yet, she cannot abandon it or simply disavow it. No, the answer is instead:
We’re not going to destroy the White Fang. We’re going to take it back.
She has to integrate with it, take the good--the righteous anger, the focus on justice and equality.
The White Fang also comments on the microcosm/macrocosm of alchemy.
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For the unaware, RWBY is an alchemical story, and the principles of alchemy are represented in the symbol for the philosopher's stone, as seen above. Microcosm: the smaller circle enclosing two people in the center who come together (hence chemical weddings). The square is the four elements: water, earth, fire, air. The triangle is body, heart, and mind. The larger circle is the macrocosm.
The Shadows for Blake on a personal level--microcosm--is Adam. The Shadow on a worldwide, big picture scale--the macrocosm--is the White Fang. Integrating with the shadow isn't only an individualistic endeavor, but also one that benefits society as a whole and brings life to the entire world. The main point of alchemy's philosopher's stone, which Blake, along with the rest of RWBY, are symbolically being transformed into.
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I think the main issue with the White Fang, by the way, is its handling of Adam. Typically you don't kill the shadow, though I do think Blake kinda had no choice. Still, I don't think the show fully explored him.
Yet what does work with what we have is that Yang has to face Adam, Blake's shadow, to be with Blake. Yang losing her arm to Adam parallels her being upset about losing Blake to fear, because symbolically Blake can hurt her deeply in the way only a lover can. Blake has to stop running from her shadow and allow herself ot be known and seen by Yang to be with her.
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fear-is-truth · 2 months
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LOVING HIM WAS NEVER ENOUGH ༄
─ kai anderson x gn!reader
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tags: toxic relationship. codependency. abuse. mention of murder. kai is a warning himself
'𝐶𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝐼'𝑚 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑗𝑎𝑧𝑧 𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑡 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟…
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song: ULTRAVIOLENCE ⨾⁩ masterlist • taglist ࿐
a/n: not proofread very thoroughly due to school stuff.. plus english isn’t my first language sorry if there’s any mistakes!!
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ever since his encounter with pastor Charles, Kai saw the world through tainted lenses, his perception coloured by disgust as he regarded its occupants as lesser beings—pawns to be manipulated and discarded.
while Kai reveled in the fear and submission of his followers, you were the one soul he couldn't bring himself to despise. which was strange, considering that his primary emotions consisted of hatred and spite.
not you, though. you were a living paradox in his existence. the moment he laid eyes on you, Kai knew you were special. destined for greatness, just like him. yes, you had your flaws and vulnerabilities just like everyone else, but for once, his first thoughts weren't about how to exploit them to his advantage (he still did, just to a lesser extent).
you were his favorite project to work on— each post-meeting pinky power session serving as an opportunity to slowly chisel away at the layers of your soul. painstakingly, he hollowed you out, creating a space within you to pour himself in. Kai did all of these with such a fervour that bordered on obsession, for he was that desperate to make you his.
even though the act itself was tainted by his own selfish motives, Kai loved you. in his own toxic. fucked-up way, he truly loved you. each manipulation, each lie was a misguided attempt to shape you into the person he believed you should be, the person you deserved to be—
his equal.
and you did not disappoint him in the slightest. when you first crossed paths—orchestrated by Kai’s careful planning after months of observation, you were weak, timid. but now, you emerged from the ashes of your former self, reborn. you could point a gun at someone’s face and pull the trigger without batting an eye, the only thought crossing your mind as blood splattered across your cheek was being how divine ruler would be pleased that you completed the mission.
you were his creation; his magnum opus. and to Kai, there was nothing more beautiful than that.
shy islands of desire began to emerge. morally destitute, Kai was spiritually ravenous, he craved to be drowned in your adoring gaze, voracious for every ounce of attention you were willing to bestow upon him. it wasn't the superficial adulation of his other followers that he sought. no, it was the way your fingers gently carded through his hair, the warmth of your touch searing into his skin, the way your laughter echoed in the shadowy crevices of his heart where light rarely touched.
he was addicted to you like he was to adderall, consuming you greedily, the bitter taste lingering on the tip of his tongue. in his mind, his attachment to you would be his ultimate downfall. you became a liability, a distraction from his path to greatness, and he couldn't afford to be tethered to anything that might pose a threat to his cause. Kai understood all too well the age-old adage— “since love and fear can hardly coexist, it is far safer to be feared than loved.”
Kai didn't need anyone, least of all you.
the tenderness he once bestowed upon you was replaced with a cold aloofness that left you feeling like a kicked puppy, bewildered by his sudden cruelty.
at times he would lash out, the sharp sting of his palm leaving you gasping for breath as you stumbled backward. even as you lay on the ground, the taste of blood on your lips and tears staining your cheeks, there was a perverse desire for more. more pain, more punishment, more of him. in those moments of brutality, it felt as though the violence itself was a form of intimacy, making you feel something, anything, even if it hurt.
panic attacks have become mere flutterings in your chest, mistaken for the butterflies of excitement that accompanied his touch, leaving you trembling with anticipation instead of justified dread.
Kai wasn’t easy to like, much less to love. he was as thorny as a rose, beautiful yet unapproachable. every interaction with him left you bleeding with a million little stab wounds.
his touch was tender but cruel, always leaving you with bruises that bloomed across your skin like dark flowers. you wore them like badges of honour, some sort of sick proof that something existed between you. at times, when Kai was plotting away in the basement and you were left all alone, you traced the outlines of the scars with trembling fingers, pressing your lips against the tender flesh to feel the ghost of his touch. imagining that he was with you, his breath hot against your neck, his hands gentle yet possessive as they roamed your body.
“To live is to suffer, to suffer is to find meaning in that suffering,”
Kai was the cause of your suffering, the architect of your pain. his actions leaving behind an endless trail of tears and heartache in its wake.
but to you, Kai was also your meaning, the driving force behind every breath you took and every beat of your heart.
yet somehow, in some tragic, catastrophically romantic way, the two of you fit together.
as his lips sought yours, hungry and desperate, you surrendered yourself to him completely and knowing that for Kai, you'd ruin yourself a million times over.
for him, you'd be a martyr to his cause, bearing his sins upon your shoulders in the hopes of earning his affection. you’d be the sacrificial lamb at the altar of his ambitions, offering up pieces of yourself in exchange for his love.
Kai resented the hold you have over him, the way you could make his insides go all soft and warm with just a smile. it grated against his pride and his need to be in control at all times.
and yet, he could never bring himself to give you up completely, even when he knew he should. every time he tried to wean you off, the withdrawal symptoms of your absence left him trembling for another hit.
the addiction ran too deep.
each night began with him, standing in front of your bedroom door and cursing himself for his lack of restraint, for allowing his feelings for you to cloud his judgment.
each night ended the same way, the two of you tangled in each other's arms, sweat-dampened skin pressed together as he curled behind you, pinky fingers linked. soft kisses gracing your shoulder.
as morning dawned, you would wake to find yourself alone in bed, the emptiness smothering you like a fog. it didn’t matter, because you knew he’d be back.
you both pretended that Kai was the one in control, the way he'd prefer it to be.
but in truth, it was you who held the reigns.
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TAGLIST @acidbrainstorm @evanpetersmybf @alittlesil @kaiandersonsdevotedwife @ellaaaaa44 @newwavesylviaplath @warrenpikasgirlfriend @slvt4jamesmarch @kaismanwich @maddaline @evpeters87 @lacucarachapisser @howtobesasha @lissasharp @feefymo @night-prowler666 @nickrhodeslittledarling @bluerthanvelvet444 @r8ttenapples @nahoyasboyfriend @kai-slut @lak3cityqui3tpills @coentinim @doll3tt33 @taintandviolent @babygorewhore @babydollxxblood @stveharringtn @violet1737 @sukirosiac @slutforgarlogan @90sbr1descake // divider by @/v6que
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 fear-is-truth 2024 — all rights reserved. please do not modify, repost, translate, or plagiarise my content.
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finniestoncrane · 2 months
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As someone who is a clean freak with slight germaphobia and gets grossed out VERY easily (to the point that I wear gloves a lot LMAO), I would be MISERABLE with Digger. However. This goes not make him ANY less pretty-boy OR stop the fact that I'd make out with him sloppy style. ANYWAYS: Headcanons with him being with a clean freak? I'm nothing if not self-indulgent HGSHADGDHGAHDG ALSO HI FINNIE I HOPE YOU'RE WELL !!
Clean Freak Reader
KTJL!Boomer Headcanons literally couldn't be me, like literally, i am in awe of people who can keep things clean. unfortunately, digger and i would stew in our own filth, so we need people like you to come fix it for us (also i picked his nastiest face for this) 💙 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: some mentions of nsfw things, it's fuckin boomer so of course
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this is EXACTLY what he needs, i am a big believer in opposites attract and balancing things out and all that jazz!! so someone who can bring out a... neater(?) side of him would only be a positive
it means he can be his authentic self with the added bonus of knowing someone's going to clean up after him, or at the very least keep him clean enough that he doesn't die
he'd struggle a lot with letting you clean up his van, or trimming up his facial hair, or forcing him into a deep cleansing bath, because he would believe you are washing away his natural, sexy musk (which you would be, tbh)
but if the reward is having you actually touch him without grimacing or swallowing your nerves, then he'll concede
also, obviously, having someone who is a clean freak means that you'll be doing most of the tidying up, yeah? like the dishes, trash, laundry, general getting-rid-of-stains?
if so, might he trouble you to don a little maid outfit? i mean yeah, you're already doing him a massive favour, and no, he hasn't exactly remembered to thank you for it
BUT the least you could do is make it a bit sexy for him!!
you are going to end up in a situation where you're not sure when the line between mommy/daddy and actual parent got blurred
he doesn't mean to take advantage of you, and he doesn't mean to be so manipulative, but a few blinks of his big eyelashes can have you cooking, cleaning and mollycoddling him after his failed attempts at murdering the flash or robbing a bank
the positive is that he is very easily trainable, like a puppy!!
you just have to find his motivation. some puppies like attention, some puppies like praise, some puppies are treat and food oriented. you just have to find his thing!
and it's fairly obvious what his thing is...
so if you need to give him a quick handjob to get him to wash behind his ears or put his empty tinnies in the bin instead of on the floor, is that really anything less than a win-win?
i don't think you would ever change him, and i don't think he'd ever truly be appreciative of all your efforts, because he would never ask for things to be clean and tidy
but he'd cherish the thought you put into keeping him from succumbing to several diseases, and any time you spend around him is a bonus in his eyes
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sweaterweatherever · 1 year
Note
Can you do something for Nevermore!Tyler where he is kind of an ass to everyone except for his s/o?
This thing of ours (Tyler Galpin x Reader)
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Pairing: Tyler Galpin x AFAB Reader.
A/N: Roald Dahl, anyone? Also, who is manipulating who? Who picked the other one? You tell me. Yes, I know I said tomorrow but I couldn't help myself. Here, the Manipulative Reader x Manipulative Tyler
Warnings: Smut. Vaginal unprotected sex. Innocence kink if you squint. Cursing. Manipulation, from both parties. Writer running with the request and doing what she wants. AGED UP CHARACTERS. Toxic, don’t try at home. Corruption kink, maybe (Reader gets manipulative slowly, maybe Tyler rubs on her?)
Requested: Yes. I am so sorry. I don’t know why I’m like this. I see the request, I get it started just as they specify, and then I start asking questions. If you don’t like it, I can redirect you to Sweet and Sour, which has Tyler treating the reader right. See my pinned post for it. Maybe I will write something more fitting later. Tag requested: @ajaxisbae
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Getting a bad reputation at Jericho was awfully easy. Do you know the saying about small towns? Yeah, Jericho was like that. Everyone knew each other, who were the outcasts, who were the stoners, who was the mayor’s son, and of course, the sheriff. It didn’t help, Tyler had a story of acting up. First, with the death of his mother and bootcamp, then a short period of time of acting like a normal member of the community and then the murders. The sheriff son, an outcast, and a murderer? When he finally got back from his court mandated time in a mental health facility, with loads of therapy to look forward to, he didn’t even need to try. His reputation was already forged, so he got to just lay back in the bed he had already made. Why keep trying when everyone would be perpetually questioning his motives?
And so, when he got shipped off to Nevermore, he didn’t bother with the facade. Wednesday glared daggers at him in any hallway, her friends looked at him with a mix of pity and disgust. Turns out, the whole group was pretty influential on their year, so whatever Tyler did, if they didn’t approve, the rest of Nevermore wouldn’t. If this was happening months ago, Tyler might try to manipulate them again, get in their good graces, so the rest would fall back in line. But he was sure he couldn’t get Wednesday to fall for his tricks ever again.
So, he embraced his asshole reputation, the fearsome, unrepentant murderer one. And it was good, for a while. Until you showed up.
“Can I sit here?” A timid, meek voice asked. As always, he was the only one who was sitting alone, and he liked it that way. If it were for him, Tyler was going to finish his education and get the fuck away from Nevermore and Jericho. His plan was to get into a college far enough, possibly in a sunnier state, and for that, he needed to focus, not to make friends.
“Fuck off.” He answered, without lifting his head. He was setting up his notes for history class, already thinking of maybe recording it because the teacher talked way too fast.
“Is anyone sitting next to you?” The voice insisted, this time sounding more frustrated. “I’m new and this is the only free seat.”
At that, Tyler lifted his gaze and saw the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. She was wearing the standard Nevermore uniform, in the purple color. But there was something about her that made her glow, and it wasn’t a physical trait. She had kind eyes, and pretty blush on her cheeks, but overall she made him think about the Roald Dahl quote, a person with good thoughts can never be ugly.
That was the deal with this girl, good thoughts shone out of her face, making her look lovely. Even embarrassed and frustrated at his outburst, she met his eyes with a tentative smile.
“Sit down, then.” Tyler offered, feeling much like the asshole everyone said he was. His own reaction was odd... Why did he feel so pulled to you?
“Thank you.” You answered, stiffly. Seemingly unable to contain himself, Tyler pushed his notes towards you.
“Here.” He said. “You can take a look, so you aren’t so lost. Name’s Tyler, by the way.” Kindness was something he was rusty in, but for you, he was willing to try.
“Y/N” You looked at him, and slowly sat down. The way you were keeping an eye on his hands told him you were familiar with bullying and expecting to get pushed or made fun of at any moment. That made rage boil in his chest. How could someone do anything bad to an angel like you?
“Sorry about before. I’m an asshole.” He said. You nodded and got to work on reading his notes. Your distrust in him was clear, and so, he decided it was time to go back to his usual stunts.
The key to a good manipulation is this: Do it carefully. Do it slowly. If you are a wolf among sheep, even if you are focused on the most special one, you don’t attack fast and hard, sending the others into a panic. No. You watch first, and approach slowly.
Turns out, pretty things like yourself get warned off about the monster sitting next to them in class. It’s Enid, the one who gets picked to do it. She is the sweetest out of all of them, the friendly, approachable one. If Tyler ever hurts you, you might choose not to approach scary Wednesday, afraid of being laughed at. Or awkward Ajax, who is a boy and not much to look at in terms of a defender.
“Y/N, right?” She asks, when you are out by the quad, exploring the place. “I’m Enid!”
“Hi,” You smile back, shyly. As an introvert, you don’t have a lot of experience making friends, and in your previous school you had floundered around until an extroverted adopted you. You hope Enid is the one to do it.
“Look, I… I run a gossip blog for the school, so I know a lot of stuff. You don’t want to be near Tyler, he is bad news.”
“Tyler?” You ask, feigning confusion. You feel silly. Of course, she doesn’t want to be your friend, she is just trying to warn you. And sure, the boy was rude, but is she implying it will hurt your popularity or something? Who cares about that? You feel sick to your stomach. Nevermore is more similar than you thought to your previous schools, it still has teenagers, drama and power plays. This was supposed to be a place in which you would be safe, you would feel at home, finally not an outcast. And if you obey to Enid, you could. You could make some popular friends and finally be liked. But it doesn’t sit right with you.
“Yeah, he… He is done some pretty nasty stuff.” She whispers to you. “You know about the murders?” And how could you not know, when it had been the first thing that popped up when you googled Nevermore? You had read all about it, how the records had been sealed because the perpetrator was still a minor at the time and not in his right mind.
“It was him?”
“Yeah, look, stay clear of him. He is dangerous. It’s for your own safety.” Enid insists.
“I don’t think what you are doing is fair.” It slips out before you can contain it. You squeeze your eyes shut, now you feel idiotic. You can tell by the expression on Enid’s face that you have blown any chance of a friendship with her.
“He could hurt you, and he is so… so nasty!” Enid complained. You kept quiet, the so could you unspoken. Gossip blog? Really? Were you supposed to take her seriously after that?
So, you go straight to the source.
“Tyler, hi.” You hate what you are doing, heart beating wildly in your chest. But it isn’t right, what they are doing with him. Warn off anyone who even talks to Tyler?
“Hi.” He smiles at you, and you know his kindness is going to run out once he figures what exactly do you want. You wring your hands in front of you, anxiously. Your cheeks heat up. What you are about to ask is so rude, you fear he will snap at you.
“Did you kill all those people?” Even if you whisper the question, it still feels loud, the words echoing in your ears. You can’t take it back, but how you wish you could. Tyler face falls, brows furrowing together.
“Yes. That is what they told you?” He asks, and you physically recoil. So, it’s true, Tyler is a murderer. The thought doesn’t compute in your head. Sure, he can be brash, and he isn’t the friendliest, but nothing about him screamed homicidal maniac at the first glance. You don’t want to believe it. Still, you flinch. At your sudden move, his expression gets sadder, and you feel the urge to console him, to touch him, pull him into a hug. Anything to get that look off his face. Tyler’s eyes are wet, mouth curled in a grimace that screams pain.
“I… I…” For the first time in your life, you are speechless. What do you say to him? You grab his hands in between yours, trying to calm him down.
“No.” He says, pulling out of your grasp. You don’t dare follow him. “We aren’t even friends, we sat together in one class. Go. I don’t need your pity.”
“But…” He is right, of course. In the end, you are strangers, tied together by a silly twist of fate. It just happened you were the new student, and he was the only one sitting by himself. It could have been Enid, or any other person in the classroom. A coincidence. It didn’t matter. But you wanted to help him, and didn’t understand why the rest didn’t try. He was hurting! Couldn’t the rest of Nevermore see that? Besides, aggravating the mass murderer wasn’t really the path to a long, healthy life. Your heart hurt for him. He must be lonely, after all of this. And surely, if he really were so terrible, they wouldn’t have him here, right?
“Yes. I killed all those people, I enjoyed it. But I was manipulated to be that way, I was drugged and fucking assaulted. There. Your morbid curiosity is fulfilled. Any other gory details you want of the worst time in my life?” Tyler spits out, hands coming to tangle in his hair. He seems on the verge of crying from frustration. In a move neither of you are expecting, you advance the steps that separate you from him, until your bodies are flush with each other, and you wrap your arms around him. Tyler tenses at first, whole body going rigid. Then, he sighs and melts in your embrace, hands coming to hold you back hesitantly.
You keep hugging him, unaware of the smile he is pressing against your hair. You are naive, and shy, and oh so focused on doing the right thing, that if you probably noticed, you would excuse it as a friendly smile. Tyler knows the truth, he knows himself. It’s the smile of the predator that plays with his prey just before eating it.
He can’t tell when he loses his control. At first, he is nice to you because you are sweet and pretty, and he wants to ruin you. You are also kind and help him feel less lonely. Tyler knows that. He is trying to get you to fall for him, not because he likes you, but because it is convenient, and he hopes to own you. You are perfect. Perfect for him to ruin.
He does it slowly, going from standoffish to sweet, but finds it harder and harder to be mean, especially when you look up at him, all wide eyes and innocent smile. So, he tests himself. One day, when you are excitedly explaining the essay you are writing, he tries treating you like he does to any other outcast.
“…And here, the teacher said I could…”
“Will you shut up?!” Tyler says, and it’s still softer than he would say to Wednesday or Kent. But your eyes get wet at the harsh tone, blinking to keep the tears away. There is an embarrassed look on your face, like a child scorned. You feel silly, ranting at him about your homework when he is clearly in a bad mood.
Tyler can’t stand it, the sadness in your beautiful eyes. He gets up from his chair, his homework forgotten. He kneels in front of you and grabs your hands in his.
“Sorry. Sorry.” It feels like his heart is being ripped off his chest, with the way your lower lip is trembling. Tyler knows then he is fucked. He would do anything to wipe the expression off your face. If someone told him a year ago he would be on his knees, begging for a girl’s forgiveness, he would have laughed. Hell, if someone told him that months ago, he would have never believed it. Tyler kisses your knuckles, one by one, uncaring you are in the library, where everyone can see. “I… I didn’t mean to snap at you…” The lies taste bitter on his tongue. What if he stopped trying to manipulate you, would you stay? The idea makes something flutter in his stomach. “I was just… I was having a bad day, but I’ll make it up to you.” He presses a kiss to your knuckles one last time, sneaking a glance to your face. The flush on your cheeks is still embarrassed, but you seem taken with the way he has been pressing kisses to your hands. There is a delighted little smile fighting to appear.
You card a hand through his hair. Tyler sighs, head tilting, offering more of himself to be pet. He is touch starved. You had noticed that when you hugged him the first time, and vowed to try to give him as much affection as he needed. He never notices the way you smile during those times, how much you like this power at your fingertips. One smile from you and Tyler melts.
Then, he starts to slowly spiral. His attraction to you had been instant, but he had been able to act as he pleased. Now, he is losing himself into you, and it’s scary. Most things he does, he does because it will bring a smile to your face.
“Here.” He says, pressing a kiss to your cheek and sliding a bar of chocolate towards you. It’s your favorite because Tyler pays attention. He wants to know everything about you. He ignores the odd looks that the rest of your classmates are giving him. So, what if he wasn’t in AP Lit as you were? You didn’t have breakfast, and you needed to eat. “Promise me at lunch you will eat real food.”
You smile up at him, totally charmed. Tyler preens under your gaze. Someone makes a retching sound. You look in that direction, and Tyler does, too. He doesn’t like it when your attention isn’t on him, he likes it less when you frown.
Tyler presses a kiss to your forehead, glaring until the guy almost pisses his pants. He is careful, so you don’t see his expression. He knows you don’t like him being an asshole to everyone, and so, he tries to be on his best behavior. It’s hard, but so worth it.
You are waiting for Tyler at a booth, hands placed lightly on your lap. You had begun dragging him out to Jericho more and more, determined to take the town for exposure therapy at his presence. At first, the whispers had been loud, but now it had reduced to two voices, one not so convinced.
You know Yoko, Enid, and Wednesday are following you every time you go into town, at the later request. But the first two seem much more unconvinced about it when the days keep passing and no murder happens. They get sloppy about it, uncaring you hear them converse.
“Ugh, what’s up with him?” Yoko says, and you heard the tell-tale sound of someone sitting down. “Not even in AP Lit, and still fucking terrifying. I don’t know what the girl has, but please, girlie, share.”
“I think it is cute. Tyler looks at her like she hung the moon, and at the rest of us… like he wants to skins us alive. “ At hearing that, you can’t help but smile. You will train Tyler out of glaring at other people, given enough time. But for now, it is enough. You like being the only one. Tyler is cute, sweet and very eager to make you happy. You can’t help but be attracted to him.
“I don’t believe it for a second.” Wednesday glowers, from her spot in the booth.
“He is in love! Maybe he is reformed!” Enid says, and you don’t need to turn around to know she must be smiling. She enjoys the whole thing too much, being the first of the trio to cease her distrust. “For love, how romantic!”
“Or perhaps she is manipulating him…” Wednesday eyes the way Tyler runs to get you a coffee and insists on covering the bill. You aren’t as good as him at hiding your satisfied smile at how taken he looks. But Tyler is oblivious enough to take it for a besotted look. “Maybe the Hyde has a new master.”
“And good riddance to the old one!” You say, under your breath, and go help Tyler with the drinks. You reward his efforts with a kiss to his cheek.
Slowly, you start spending more time together. This fantasy you are both living in, it’s fun. You like the way he looks at you, the way he presses kisses to your cheeks or puts your hands on the sleeves of his sweater when you are cold. It feels like some old romance movie, and Tyler swears he is the one doing all the wooing, he is the Danny to your Sandy. He doesn’t realize you have him right where you want him.
People talk. Of course, they do. When you first start to drift closer and closer, the whispers are mostly like Enid’s. Concerned. You are such a quiet little thing, shy, friendless, new. Is he taking advantage? Tyler wonders so himself, beating himself over the fact he enjoys this manipulation, how he doesn’t regret it. After all, he can play the good guy like no one else, with the “Aw, shucks” routine and the shy smiles, the charming whispers in your ears. Fooling you is easy, or so he thinks because you are a romantic at heart, like every girl. Who doesn’t like the bad boy who is willing to be good just for you?
Sure, maybe he didn’t fool Wednesday Addams, but he can have you. You lack her suspicious nature, you are warm and trust too easily. You wouldn’t try to even lift a taser. That tiny pair of hands, the delicate wrists? He can tell you have never thrown a punch in your life, nor done any heavy lifting. No, you weren’t at all like Wednesday.
You are on your knees, painting tiny flowers on the art project you both are working on. This time, you didn’t even have to ask, it was given you were doing it together. Your tongue pokes between your teeth in concentration, hands stained with paint. Tyler watches, mesmerized by how you look on your knees.
“Fucking hair…” You say, pushing back a strand with your wrist.
“Quite a mouth on you, sweetheart.” But he crawls towards you, and grabs your hair in a loose ponytail. Your breath hitches, barely, but Tyler hears anyway. His senses, the Hyde, are so finely tuned to you, it’s scary. Even the smallest changes don't go unnoticed.
He can’t help but test this newfound power of his, pushing, always pushing. He tugs a little harsher at your hair, and your head follows the movement, neck extended in a tantalizing curve, and he wants to bite you so bad… His eyes track the way your glossy lips part, almost into a groan, but even if your body is tense as a bow, you don’t pull away.
“What are you doing?” You ask, slightly out of breath.
“Fixing this.” He comments, and your eyes flutter closed. You like having your hair played with, he has noticed. Tyler wonders what kind of sound he could pull from your lips if he was actually trying. The thought is too much, and so, he gets up, and walks towards your vanity. He needs to clear his head. This feeling of spiraling, of losing control, this Tyler doesn’t like. “Where are your hair ties?”
He tells himself not to worry. Maybe he is actually falling in love with you, but you are right there with him too. Perhaps Tyler fell first, but you are falling harder. He can tell. It’s all in the way you blush when his thumb brushes your cheekbone, how you sigh when he hugs you, hands going lower and lower each time. There is no resistance, you are surrendering.
You weren’t fooling Wednesday Addams, either, obviously. When the whispers go from concerned to admirative, the rest of the school seeing how good Tyler was for you and how you have changed him for the better, she glares. Wednesday can tell you are manipulating Tyler right back. Possibly, so does the rest of Nevermore because it’s obvious to everyone with eyes he worships the ground you walk on. So, what if the guy is an asshole? He is head over heels for you. Tyler doesn’t really care, too busy simpering for your attention. You have become his whole world. You don’t ask, but you know, you know, he would kill for you.
It’s almost like you are already dating, really. Every free moment is spent with each other, you are in his clothes more often than not. It's such a fun game, you can’t help but be charmed. Your legs tangle together, hands grasping at each other desperately, but you know, you know he won’t kiss you. Not yet. You realize this early on.
This time, you are sitting on the dock, bare feet submerged in the water. You are wearing a nice lip tint, that makes your lips pop just so. You had decided today was the day you got him to kiss you, it's the next step in this play of yours. There is something about him that makes you want to own him, even if everyone in this school knows he is your boy. It’s not enough. You want him completely, eyes only in you.
“I think… If my mother hadn’t died, I would have still… You know.” He doesn’t meet your eyes at that confession. You frown, you don’t like him sad. He is not fun that way. If he will be broken, you will be the one to do it, not some stupid redheaded woman with a vendetta and a town full of hypocrites.
You take his hand, squeezing encouragingly. You like him sharing secrets, all shy and sheepish.
“I don’t believe in destiny. But some things… I sometimes wonder if they are fixed points in time, things that need to happen.” You answer, carefully eyeing his reaction. Tyler remains calm, one of his hands coming to your jaw, tilting your face up, so the moonlight illuminates your features.
Tyler can smell fear. The Hyde can, he enjoys it, revels in it. There is none coming from you at his confession, and it makes him feel better. Currently, he has the upper hand. Now he knows if he were to kill again, you would cover up for him without being asked. You would do anything for him.
So, he thinks he is manipulating you. It’s cute, in a way. You would have stayed without it, just for him, but this makes it way more interesting, raising the stakes in a way that has your blood pumping in all sorts of good ways. Tyler himself is awfully cute and smart, and you like the way he is playing along with this cat and mouse game of yours. But you know, you have to be the one to kiss him. He needs to feel more in control, and so, you are willing to accept losing this battle, in exchange for winning the war. And so, you plan it the perfect way of showing everyone he is yours.
You wait for a cloudy day, at lunchtime. You have dressed lightly, on purpose.
“I’m cold.” You complain, tugging your sleeves over your hands. It’s a familiar routine, you have it practically rehearsed. Any moment now, he is going to offer you either a hug or his jacket.
“Why do you always forget to wear a jacket, sweetheart? At this point, I think I’m doing more bad than good, spoiling you…” Tyler complains, but as always, he takes his jacket off, placing it over your shoulders.
“But you like spoiling me.” You pout to him, ignoring the disbelieving look the whole quad is giving you. No one gets away with giving Tyler attitude, hell, no one gets away with talking to Tyler except you.
“Or you just like wearing my jackets.” He teases, hoping to make you blush. You do because he is good at it, and pairs the remark with a genial chuck under your chin. You might be the one in control, but you are weak for this boy.
“Or… I just like you.” You say, looking at him from beneath your lashes. Tyler mouths open and closes in surprise, the faintest trace of pink appearing on his cheeks. Before he can retaliate, you press a chaste kiss to his lips and sprint away.
Tyler laughs, loud and sweet, and gives chase. He is much like a golden retriever, always willing to run you down. You shouldn’t find it endearing, but you do. He thinks he is this sort of big predator, a wolf, but he has fallen for the trap of domesticity. Tyler finally caughts up with you near the dorms, pining you to the wall and peppering your face with kisses. You laugh, then, with genuine excitement. You wonder if you too are falling for the trap of domesticity.
So, you are a thing now. Boyfriend and girlfriend. Things… Things don’t change much, there is more kissing and touching, but Tyler doesn’t press you to make things more intimate. He genuinely cares about you, and you don’t know what to make of it. You care about him too, you might be falling for him.This is a time bomb, not a relationship. And you know it is going to explode in the most delicious way.
It all comes to a head when you start having sex. This is nice, you guess. Tyler is careful, but you know he wants to do more than just fuck you slowly and lovingly into the mattress. The hunger in his eyes mirrors yours. He fucks you well, but it’s lacking. It’s like something you would do to like, the wife you don’t love after thirty years of marriage. It lacks passion. This isn’t what you two are.
“Okay.” You say, the next time he thrusts into you, whole body tense and not from pleasure but from containing himself. You can tell, by the way his jaw ticks, how his eyes darken when he looks at you. He wants to ruin you, but he doesn’t think he is allowed. “Tyler, babe, this is not working.”
He freezes, pulling away from you and plopping down on the bed.
“Are you okay? What do you mean?” Tyler is genuinely concerned. You don’t know if you were that good at wrapping him around your little finger, or he is in love with you for you. You don’t care. Second guessing is half the fun. Besides, he is yours either way, either by force or out of his own free will.
“I mean that I need you to throw me around a little, choke me if you can.” At that, Tyler makes a face, mouth dropping open a little in an expression that is of real surprise. He seats on the bed, next to you. You don’t bother covering your nudity, or even closing your legs. If things go your way, and they will because you have worked hard at this, it’s nothing but a brief pause.
“I don’t understand.” He states, looking at you with eyes so big it’s almost funny.
“Oh, don’t play coy now.” You take one of his hands and press it against your throat. It fits you perfectly, like a beloved collar. His fingers tense up on instinct, bruising you in the most wonderful way. “I know you want to.” You singsong. Tyler stares, and dumbly comes to stand back between your legs.“What, you really thought I was going to buy your act?”
“I don’t know what you are talking about.” Tyler deflects, but his face tells another story. There is hunger there, some fear too, but also delight. Almost like he wanted to be caught.
“This is getting old really fast, Ty. Look, let’s get this over with. You tried to manipulate me. I manipulated you. None of it was real, or maybe it was the most elaborate courting ritual ever. Whatever. Now, will you fuck me like you mean it, or are you going to keep pretending to be something you aren’t?” His face goes from surprised, to doubtful and then anger. It seems like he doesn’t like the idea of being manipulated, like it’s only okay when he does it. Tyler was still angling for the upper hand, even if you discovered him. Oh, he is perfect. Perfect for you.
“So you aren’t as innocent as I thought.” Tyler thrusts back in, with a smooth flex and roll of his hips. It’s not soft, nor considerate. Your mouth falls open at the stretch, even wet as you are, the intrusion is sudden, and it stings a little. This time he isn’t pulling any punches. No. He grabs you by the jaw, forcing your lips to pucker together and making you look like a fish. His grip is bruising. “Answer me.”
“What do you want me to say?” You can barely ask. Finally, you think, this is more like it. He thrusts harder into you, making you whimper.
“You are a real bitch, did you know?” Tyler noses at your jaw, licks a line to your earlobe. You give a little, desperate pant. It’s animalistic, this thing of yours.
“Well, I don’t see you complaining.” You laugh, clenching around him. Tyler bites at the juncture of your neck and shoulder, hard enough to make you gasp. You start to think maybe you bit more than you can chew with him, hips snapping harshly against yours. You try to pull away, and he grabs your wrists, forces your legs more open.
“Don’t you see?” He asks, pinching at your nipple until you cry out and kick half-heartedly at him, back arching, brain so fuzzy you don’t know if you want to pull away from his touch or pull closer, closer, until you merge into one person. “Love is like this, for people like us.”
The admission is sweet, so sweet, you never want this to end. You muster your strength and buck up against him, turning you, so you are the one who is on top. He is going to give you hell after, but you don’t care. He is finally yours. Completely.
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