#another room to avoid it

[imaginarypasta]

really wish i had a gauge for what a normal expectation of privacy is :ppp

#personal #i have been told im more private (secretive) than people typically expect from others #to be clear i am specifically antsy about being like overheard by others #anyway my roommate started streaming games this summer and she assumed i would want to be out of the house for it (i do) #but multiple people when i tell them this are like ‘why??’ which like. #because i don’t want my face/voice online like that… #but like whatever she’s respectful of that idiosyncrasy so it’s fine #anyway but i also kind of want a heads up now if she’s gonna be on a discord call for an extended period of time #becauseeee she doesn’t mute unless i specifically ask and like i don’t want strangers knowing my business #and ESPECIALLY since i learned one of the friends she’s on call w sometimes streams incl. the discord channel? #and so if im on there my voice will be streamed to tens of people #which i realize isn’t a lot but also like!! i don’t want that and to me that’s perfectly reasonable #like im in my house i shouldn’t be recorded & either put on the internet or broadcasted to her friends if i can help it #like if i know then i can just stay quiet/leave the room #but i don’t know if the second part is reasonable bc everyone i ask says the first is silly #and frankly i would really like to know #not bc im talking like a whole bunch & that’s what im worried about. like i can be quiet for a few minutes #but bc i have a tic disorder & there’s something very uncomfortable about like having those sounds recorded & i would like to just go to #another room to avoid it #and yeah i have confirmation the noises are picked up when she’s on call with other people #and when i say ‘now’ maybe i should specify she was telling me before & stopped #but then like saying it like that makes me sound a little silly i think bc i seem very paranoid about being surveilled. which i am #i just don’t know if this is an instance where im being silly or it’s reasonable #ANYWAY

[b-ll-cks]

round

#disco elysium #assigning characters my thoughts pt.1 #avoiding the problem of poses coming out too stiff because I haven't drawn human bodies from references in years by not drawing 90% #of the body 👍 #(I do have another thing with a couple of full bodies even if it's much more stylised. but who knows when I'll finish it #if I'll finish it before I think it sucks. ai also have a fourth that I barely begun. and a fifth that's just in my head #who knows maybe I'll think they suck. I already think the one I doodled with kim's room was too rushed. needed a couple more panels)

[kimmiessimmies]

Spring 08: Now or Never (10/25)

Sadie waited for James after her class was over.

“Sade!” James called as he came down the stairs, “I just had the best idea for a song!"

"Maybe we can work on it together tonight?”

Sadie smiled and nodded.

“I love working on songs with you, so I’m absolutely up for that,” she said as they exited the building together.

“But we should get some snacks, because my songwriting brain needs food to funct...” She stopped mid-sentence at the sight of a boy sitting on the bench outside the building...

... Finn.

#Okay it's like this #yes Finn does live in the same building as Sadie and James #But his room is on another floor #And Sadie has sort of been avoiding him too... #So they haven't really spoken for quite a while... #atoh #ts3 #the sims 3 #sims 3 #sims story #sadie stevens #james wyler #finn richardson

[allthoseotherworlds]

It's honestly pretty frustrating sometimes how I feel like so many people say they love Martha, but mostly what I actually see people saying about Martha is how much she probably does/should hate the Doctor for not returning her crush, or sometimes how much people hate Blink/Family of Blood/Last of the Time Lords because they were hard for her.

And like, the former of those is frustrating because a) Nobody is obligated to return someone's romantic feelings, b) Being oblivious to someone having a crush on you might suck for the other person but is not actually a moral failing and c) Martha was sad about it but like. She didn't leave because she was furious at the Doctor for not returning her crush? She left because she knew her crush wasn't reciprocated and wasn't going to be, but couldn't get over it on her end while travelling with the Doctor. And also because the past year had been pretty traumatizing for everyone, including her and also the Doctor and also everyone else who was on that ship thing.

Anyways

I just wanted to talk for a bit about the things I like about Martha, or that are interesting, that are unrelated to those points above.

I think she's the first companion in New Who to join Unit, and I think still the only one to be a medical doctor with a strong scientific backing. Which is cool!

I think it's interesting that in the first episode she appears in, her family is shown to be kind of messy and kind of frustrating, and it feels like that's something she's a little glad to be getting away from for a bit when she travels with the Doctor (though it's not the reason she travels with them). And then, at the end of the season when her family is in danger she prioritizes their wellbeing enough to snap at the Doctor about it. If I remember correctly their phones were tapped or something and it wound up making things a bit worse, but I appreciate the nuances of her relationship with them and how important they are to her despite the messiness.

Despite all the ado made about her crush on the Doctor, I really loved how she really seemed to get the point of travelling with the Doctor. I think that she nailed both the joy and excitement of the unknown, and the compassion and sense of care that motivates the Doctor's travels, and which I think is vital to all of my favourite companions.

It also contrasts in interesting ways with how her personality shifts after she stops travelling with the Doctor - she still cares about people's wellbeing and seems to value the things she learned while travelling, but working with Unit and Torchwood does make her more military, and then of course doing freelance alien fighting (? or something?) in the End of Time.

I think Martha and the Doctor are an interesting duo because they contrast each other in interesting ways. They're both compassionate, hopeful but practical, and good at what they do, but they reflect those qualities in ways that almost, but don't quite, fit together nicely. They don't conflict, really, but they're not quite sustainable either.

They work well together and care about each other, but they're too similar in some ways and too different in others to ever quite see eye to eye, which is why they end up going in different directions. And I think that's not anyone's fault, or indicative of any deep flaws in either of them. Or even really a tragedy, because Martha seems to be doing new and interesting things every time we see her, with plenty of options available and a decent rapport with the Doctor whenever they show up.

Anyway this got way longer than I meant it to. Tldr: There are so many more interesting things to say about Martha than just "She must hate the Doctor". Here are some of them.

#Also I didn't have room here but. I understand hating the family of blood stuff but. John Smith is not the Doctor. That's the whole point #John Smith is absolutely rude to Martha and I dislike him as a person. But he is also not the Doctor #And I absolutely do not believe that the Doctor handpicked the persona and went “Yeah. Making him rude and racist and like guns” #I think they just got out the chameleon arch and said #“Here's the time and location that gives us the best shot at avoiding the family of blood. Give me and Martha random identities. Thanks” #That said it's actually not an episode I particularly like so I don't know why I'm rambling about it here #I get anxious about things where characters are Not Themselves and being rude and mean in ways they aren't #And also found the ending a little Too Much personally #Anyways I'm just monologuing now #Doctor Who #Doctor Who Meta #Martha Jones #I am talking #I am just some guy (gender neutral) #This post brought to you by another person joking about how Martha is so strong for putting up with the Doctor because of the crush stuff #And me as an aromantic not enjoying the implication that I am something to put up with and that the most interesting thing anyone can say #about a dynamic between two people is how much it sucks that one of them didn't know the other had a crush and 'led them on' #or whatever. But just ranting about that again didn't feel constructive so I tried to say more interesting things instead

[vickyvicarious]

I drew a great couch out of its place near the corner, so that as I lay, I could look at the lovely view to east and south, and unthinking of and uncaring for the dust, composed myself for sleep. I suppose I must have fallen asleep; I hope so, but I fear, for all that followed was startlingly real—so real that now sitting here in the broad, full sunlight of the morning, I cannot in the least believe that it was all sleep. I was not alone.

May 16

When, an hour or two after, the Count came quietly into the room, his coming awakened me, for I had gone to sleep on the sofa.

May 28

I came back to the library, and read there till I fell asleep. I was awakened by the Count, who looked at me as grimly as a man can look as he said:—

June 29

.

I just noticed this little detail today. Every time Jonathan falls asleep somewhere in the castle other than his room, he's awakened by vampires. He never wakes naturally, every time it's at the approach of a predator. And while Dracula at least certainly doesn't stay out of his bedroom, as far as I remember Jonathan never is woken by him there. Every time he mentions waking in his room it's a natural awakening.

Furthermore, these three events get closer. The first time, the three ladies are across the room from Jonathan and approach from there. The second time Jonathan wakes as Dracula is entering the room. This time, it sounds like he comes over and wakes Jonathan up himself, probably touching him or at least getting close and speaking to him.

It's a neat detail.

#dracula daily #jonathan harker #by neat i mean alarming #oh boy #speaking of jonathan's choice to sleep in the library #a part of me wonders if it is in an effort to still be in the Safe Zone while staying outside his room #on the chance that he won't get locked in again unable to intervene if dracula brings back another child #i dunno because it's not like he hasn't been locked in the library before too. maybe he just wants to avoid staring out his window #wants to occupy his mind somehow by reading #but i kind of like the idea. he knows there's every chance it may not work but this is at least one small thing he can do differently #(attacking dracula would be as fatal in that situation as walking out to the wolves would've. but if there is another child--)

[thebirdandhersong]

I think I am getting better at guarding my heart :')

#i know it can sometimes be hard to even be in the same room as him so i simply do not let myself be in the same room :) #or at least politely avoid him. which is a big step for this anxiety riddled people pleaser #anyway i learned that i can literally hit da bricks if things are heavy to hold! i literally can study in another room! #and it isnt a crime or offensive it is what i need and i dont HAVE to be unnecesarily uncomfortable/sad on a random weekday afternoon!

[nutmegpoid]

one thing that fucking sucks about being an Adult™ is its no longer acceptable to hide in a separate room away from Relatives during holidays

#nutmeg rambling #my brother and i would usually just stay in another room and just Do Whatever #but now i have to Talk and Listen To Everyone #and try and avoid blowing up

[bylovesfirstkiss]

you guys just don't know how to write angst anymore. putting people who say they like "toxic yaoi" in my dni cause they have no idea how to actually write toxicity

#I feel like a lot of this toxic blah blah stuff is fancy internet lingo to avoid accusations that you just enjoy abusive dynamics #without actually developing them or doing anything interesting. like if you're gonna say you love toxicity and codependency #and then just make fluff and smut about it without actually taking the time to explore and deconstruct it #then you're romanticizing it. are you not? #especially when the pairing in question has had extremely negative (beyond the scope of basic enemies to lovers) encounters in canon #just because you're using cutesy tumblr.com lingo doesn't mean you're absolved of actual development #and I'm saying this as someone who really likes this kind of trope because it gives room for monumental character exploration #and as a victim of abuse myself. I'm not saying write an essay I'm just saying why hype up how toxic and shitty they are for each other #just to turn it into fluff/a meme. like the actual negative parts of the dynamic don't matter? I though you guys condemned romanticization. #it's genuinely fascinating how the internet will deem one pairing abusive and bad but another with the same dynamic is just toxic yaoi? #I'm not sure where the line is drawn but you can't have your cake and eat it too. #and if you're going to try tackling a dynamic that's heavily abusive (“toxic”) then you can at least try to #justify it in a way that isn't just 'um well funny fandom meme ☝️' #you just want to skip all the development and get straight to the gushy parts? fine. not saying you can't. I can't tell you what to do. #but it does massively cheapen the dynamic and make it seem like you don't actually care about the characters you just want to ship somethin #I HATE CANON X CANON!! #slash nobody here #decrees

[scoobydoodean]

The Smurf's comment was literally right there waiting to be dunked on but instead he got greedy and flew straight into the fucking sun.

#ik in the second to last gif he's *actually* worried about his dad I just think this is funny #idk if anyone else ever thinks these things or if I have too uncharitable of an interpretation but this is fucking hilarious 2 me #like it just... this “You can say ANYTHING in front of Jess” posturing was such a weird choice when he KNOWS he's LYING to her and DOESN'T #WANT HER TO KNOW HIS FAMILY SECRETS #another interpretation is Sam trying to avoid a conversation about the family business by keeping Jess in the room #but he clearly didn't like Dean flirting with Jess and he did not catch on after the first line so going with this one lmao

[wildflowercryptid]

ngl i have so many thoughts about penelope sitting in the back of my mind, she's such an interesting character...

#i'm gonna try to avoid using penny when talking about her just so i don't confuse my pokemon moots ;0; #but yeah... just the imagery surrounding her has got me pondering #like the fact that the room she spends most of her time in at tangle tower is quite literally a gilded cage #or that she's wearing an outfit that's strikingly similar to her mother's if not the same exact outfit... #i also can't stop thinking about how i feel like she doesn't even have any true ill will towards anyone currently living at tangle tower #even flora (the character you could expect her to dislike based on her motivations) is someone she has some care for... #ALSO HER FUCKING REACTION WHEN YOU SUGGEST HER MOTIVATION WAS LONELINESS UGH!!!! #just.... fuck dude #i do hope we get to see her again #random idea i've thought about too is harrow getting involved in tracking down penny and it ending w/ a face-off between the two #i think that'd be cool... #wait shit my brain is making a connection with another idea i had hold on #*rubs my gay lil hands together* hmm 😈 #sorry that my rambling's always relegated to the tags it's easier to parse my thoughts in short bursts like that #tangle tower #mj.txt #tangle tower spoilers

[praise-the-lord-im-dead]

This might be weird thing to have an issue with, but I never feel right reblogging anti-porn or anti-sex industry stuff, even when I agree with the main point, because for some reason it's always like

'[Good point] [good point] and anyway that's why this is all AN EVIL PLOT made up by MEN to hurt PURE INNOCENT WOMEN'

As if no men were ever trafficked or coerced or abused in the industry and as if no women have ever done the hurting and as if the whole thing is a gender-centric issue.

#anyway involving money in sex in any way is inherently coercive #and no one is ever entitled to sex or anything related to sex if they are involving another person #and the actual industry is under-regulated and rife with abuse where it's legal #because of the twisting of the nature of sex that is inherent to it; not because we need to be more accepting of it. #and at the same time. people in the sex industry deserve to be respected as people and to have their choices respected #and not to be used as props for arguments #because there is more than one way to reduce a human being into a thing #and at the end of the day. that's what we're trying to avoid the most. #sex talk #discourse sorry #ALSO when it's framed as a big conspiracy its like. no. #this is fallen human nature at work. not some evil people plotting in a room somwhere

[kraviolis]

not to get personal and talk about my mental health but im getting personal and talking about my mental health bcus i need to get this off my chest in an indirect way where there is a degree of separation between myself and whoever is listening to my plight. im currently in a strange predicament where i obviously need medical help for my severe anxiety but my anxiety is so severe that i cannot contact any doctors about it

#i am experiencing heart palpitations pretty frequently due to my anxiety #i can often feel my own heart pounding against my ribcage #and feel my heartbeat in my arms & neck so hard that it distracts me #i couldnt sleep last night bcus of how hard & fast my heart was pumping #it was at 100+ bpm while laying down & trying to sleep #and then during the nap i took this morning i had stress dreams of my worst fear rn #and my worst fear is people i am not familiar with entering my home #not even just strangers. the other week my cousin came over but i havent seen my cousin in years #and i avoided her so fucking much that i didnt even SEE her. i didnt apeak to her. i heard her voice ONCE from another room #and hearing her voice was enough to set off my anxiety so fuckin bad i ended up taking a double dose of my meds that i cant get refilled #the last time i had a physical check up in like. 2022. my pulse was at 117bpm while i was sitting down making casual conversation with them #i cant tell if im actually developing a heart problem or if its all stemming from my anxiety #even just typing this all up my hands are shaking and im starting to sweat #krav talks

[blueskrugs]

y'all I think I might have an RBF problem

#thinking about two incidents in particular lmao #today one of the boys popped his head into the study room and asked if he could use the desktop in there to print. duh yes dude idc. #he thanked me mULTIPLE TIMES. it's not that deep buddy 😭 #the other one is the time another boy in class took a GIANT step sideways to avoid me as I went to grab my ipad from where it was charging😭

[katierosefun]

playing minecraft is a bit dangerous for me because i’ll tell myself that i’ll play only for 20 minutes and then it’ll be approximately two hours later

#caroline talks #you see my problem is i am not interested in fighting mobs or anything in minecraft #i just like building :) expanding :) #i currently have four bases. #i think i'm going to make another base? but more like an observatory #made out of glass and stuff #and like. i don't like dealing with mobs #so i spent the last 2 days making a bridge that connects base number 1 to base number 2 #let's not talk about how much wood and stone i had to gather it was RIDICULOUS #but this bridge is like. several blocks above ground right #so yeah i don't get to deal with mbs #but today i realized that 'oh wait. zombies and skeletons are now HIDING BELOW my bridge bc they can avoid daylight ://' #so now i think i'm going to figure out like. how to build some enclosed well-lit space below the bridge #oh and while we're at it. i think i want to build some kind of mineshaft because base number three is right above a ravine #so i have some water as an elevator to bring me down to the bottom #but i think i want some more bridges and rooms in the ravine itself? so i'm not just mindlessly hopping from stone to stone and hoping i #don't fall and die #i just. I REALLY LIKE BUILDING OKAY

[the-moogle-of-your-nightmares]

things that fill me with rage: people who spend hours and hours and hours camped out in the main central parts of the house which you need access to in peace by yourself for like 20-30 minutes just to do basic selfcare--let alone actual sanity time outside your room--every single day from before you wake up in the morning until at best the last few hours of your day, where any energy you had is gone and you're having to recover/catch back up from a day trapped in your room with no selfcare

things that fill me with enough rage to blow up the sun: people who do this and every now and then fake you out by going Somewhere the Fuck Else for literally just long enough for you to hustle out of your room--or even start to--before SIKE they come right back through and start camping A G A I N. this time while you are probably trapped outside your room until the thing is done, and/or it'll be Rude to very obviously turn around and leave to avoid them. which they WILL inevitably take offense at. 🙃🙃🙃🙃

#moogletalks #venting #like genuinely unless you are disabled in a way that makes it difficult/spoons-intensive to move from one place to another #it is ungodly fucking shitty and rude to monopolize the house for the *entire fucking day every single day* #ESPECIALLY. IF YOU ARE GOING TO EVEN SLIGHTLY JUDGE PEOPLE FOR EITHER AVOIDING YOU OR EXISTING IN YOUR LINE OF SIGHT. #straight the fuck up it is a basic basic need for most people to have a chunk of time during the day #that they can decompress and be alone and exist *out in the main areas of their house* #people act like the only place you can or should have space and time to yourself is in your own room and that is literally not true!!!! #even before you add in that a huge swath of traumatized/mentally ill/otherwise neurodivergent people need that time alone #VERY DESPERATELY #to function #both in general and because guess what they are extremely likely to be deeply traumatized by #you guessed it! #being unsafe in their own living space! #both short-term immediate instances of abuse if they're caught #and *k n o w i n g* that no matter how chill people pretend to be they are almost certainly lying to your face #while winding up to eventually lash out at you #we are constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop and we HAVE TO HAVE TIME ALONE. TO EXIST IN OUR HOMES. #and it is always the exact same people who do this shit that spend the entire fucking day every single day hogging the main spaces #and act like you murdered their dog in front of them and pissed on their face and demanded their entire life savings #at the single tiniest suggestion they should maybe in fact make a point of setting aside time to let other people have in the main spaces #AND they will get shitty and judgy and pissed off when YOU go fuck it #and just start trying to plan around blocks of time where they're Literally Asleep #every time someone complains about me not getting important things done that can only be done during the day #because i had to purposely ruin my sleep schedule for some goddamn peace to stretch my legs and feed myself #i get a little closer to ending up with my fucking face on the news l m f a o #i hate ableds i hate ableds i hate ableds oh my GOD #bonus points too if they're someone who can't even fucking just pick one place to spend a while in #they have to constantly move in and out of EVERY SINGLE CORNER OF THE HOUSE THAT IS NOT LITERALLY SEALED OFF TO THEM #even if you try to find some out of the way corner to hide in THEY WILL EVENTUALLY SWEEP THROUGH. PROBABLY WHILE INVADING YOUR SPACE.

[bitchfitch]

For all the teething I've been doing on Pavo and Esti i haven't been able to like, actually write any thing for them recently mostly because I've been Busy.

But also because I'm snapping between like 3 ideas for them at terminal velocity and haven't been able to actually get anything written for them and it's like having pumas bouncing around my skull at mach fuck as though theyre house cats at 2 am when you're trying to sleep,

#idea one is the day after things start changing and they haven't discussed it fully yet. #Pavo is mulling over some things and Esti is too nervous to ask about it. but they're alone out hunting #its such a nice day. and Esti thinks hes going to be saying goodbye soon. and hes making himself sick with anxiety over it #and they're alone together like old times but its Not like old times because Esti remembers how sweetly Pavo had kissed him that #morning after and how good it had felt to spend the whole morning in bed cureld up against him. #and Esti doesnt think he could stomach the idea of leaving without getting another kiss or at least finding out if Pavo regretted it or not #and the story is them being sweet on each other and avoiding the big heavy topic until Esti can verbally ask about it. because like Pavo #knows him well enough to know whats eating him up. but he wants to hear Esti say the words #and then the second idea is Esti waking up from a nightmare after hes been brought home from that hell. he screams for Pavo and #like of course pavo is on his feet and at the door that separates their rooms in an instant. but its locked and Esti is too #scared to navigate to it because hes already wound up and hes still not used to life as a blind man. so the idea of getting out of bed #and crossing an open room with nothing to help him orient himself is Terrifying. #probably more than it should be but the nightmares are still fresh in his head and hes having to make himself focus and ignore them #and just reasure himself that it Actually is Pavo and not one of those monster that had used his voice. and its hard hes crying and Pavo #has to take down part of the fucking door frame to get the sliding door off its tracks without just busting it down since Esti didn't #need that particular audio experience right now and he liked that doors painting and Pavo had already sent for the craftsperson who #made his eyes to commission them to make a set for esti. and he doesn't want to destroy something pretty esti likes when itll only be a few #until esti can enjoy it again. and he gets into the room and esti scooches over in bed to welcome him into it because despite Everything #esti still will always feel safer pinned between a wall and Pavo than anywhere else. and he just needs to feel safe. #and the third thing is because of something deardest said a yesterday i think about Pavo in his old age. and im just Chewing on the image #of him and esti in his carriage. Esti's hair has gone white and hes nearing his end. and thentwo of them are together and happy #and able to reflect on the lives they've had together. and its mostly just the idea of Pavo being glad hes so much older than Esti. because #it means despite Esti only being half demon and having a much shorter life because of it. Pavo isnt going to outlive him by very long. #and All of this. Everything was because of how scared Pavo was to be alone. and hes not going to have to be in his last days. #so Yeah. thats been whats on my mind when im not devoting it to like lame shit like work #wow im bad at reading #their url is derederest #not deardest