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adhdstudybitch · 5 years

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Practical Tips for ADHD College Students

I know a few posts like this already exist, but I wanted to add my own experiences to the mix in case it would be helpful to someone else. Some of these will look familiar, some not so much.

Disclaimers: 1) What works for me may not work for you, take everything with a grain of salt and experiment, 2) These are what I’m using for a 4-year school but I imagine it would be applicable for any college? I wish I’d known to do some of these things when I was at CC, 3) I won’t pretend that I am an ADHD success story, not yet. I’m still finding my way, learning to cope, learning to thrive. It’s a process.

NOTE: This post is kinda long; if it’s too long I recommend just reading the bolded/italicized headings and only reading the ones that pique your interest :)

Sensory Issues:

Wear comfortable clothing: Screw the mentality that you always have to look your best in college. At the end of the day, feeling hot but ridiculously uncomfortable will trigger sensory issues (especially if you’re someone who is sensitive to certain materials/styles of clothing) and it will impact concentration and can cause a lot of distress. Are you comfortable in those sweatpants, pajama bottoms, baggy shirts? Cool, wear them.

Stim toys: Love yourself, buy (or make!) stim toys and bring them to school. Can’t speak for CC because I didn’t use stim toys when I went, but at my 4-year school everyone is too busy drowning in deadlines to notice you squishing thinking putty or using a fidget cube under the table.

Try different stim toys: I used to get caught up on trying to make the more popular stim toys work for me when they didn’t, so I had to experiment a bit to see what worked. It’s not always as simple as cubes, spinners, squishy toys, etc. If you have issues with texture you’ll want to really experiment, especially with things like putty, squishibles, etc. to see what is comfortable and what isn’t. But there’s a big ol’ market out there!

Headphones/Earplugs: The single most helpful sensory detail for me was always bringing my headphones to campus. I get easily overstimulated in uncontrolled situations with lots of different sounds. I make sure my volume is enough to block the noise out, but the songs I choose in these instances are usually familiar, so they don’t provide too much new stimulation when I can’t handle it. I also keep earplugs in my backpack for exams.

Studying/School Related:

If possible, leave your house: This has been one of the hardest changes I’ve had to make because I’m an introvert and genuinely prefer being home. But I’m starting to learn that my ass will not do work 9/10 times when I’m home. Too much to do, too many other things to get done, lots of fun distractions, and cats! So many cats! Unfortunately cats won’t take my exams. I’ve found that the library is okay, but for me small cafes worked much better. Armed with my headphones, some coffee, and an atmosphere that caters to silently getting work done, I’m able to focus longer, and to focus on what I really need to.

Note-taker: Admittedly I’m talking out of my ass on this one, because I haven’t yet done this. But that’s exactly why I want to stress getting a note-taker. My college life would be infinitely better if I’d done this when the semester started; instead, my notes have gaps where I couldn’t concentrate, or couldn’t process what was being discussed, etc.

Other accommodations: Accommodations for ADHD differ depending on the college, but some of the common ones are: note-takers, silent exam spaces, assignment extensions, and use of tech such as recorders, speech-to-text software... If you’re like I was and are worried that you’re asking too much asking for accommodations, remember two important things: 1) Accommodations exist to level the playing field, not to give us an edge, and 2) YOU PAY FOR THIS SERVICES. That huge, overwhelming tuition bill with all those “extra fees”? You’re paying for these services already, might as well take advantage of them!

Talk to your professors: This part is truly terrifying for me, but I’ve started opening up this semester to my professors and it has made a difference. The professor for my hardest class actually has a son with adhd so she understood and was even able to provide me with some resources that would help. At the very least, it made my professors aware of my struggles and aware that I wasn’t just being lazy, which calmed my RSD a bit.

Organization: Staying organized is important for any college student, but especially for those with adhd. We lose things a lot, and if things aren’t in obvious, constant places it becomes so much easier to lose or forget where we put things. That being said, your ‘organized’ will probably not be other peoples ‘organized’. For example, I use my Ipsy bags for organization. One holds any writing utensils, flashcards, and post-its, another holds anything medical-related, etc. It seems a bit cluttered and disorganized to other people but it works for me. So try keeping things in the same spot if possible, but remember that finding what organizational structures work for you might take time and effort. If your school has success coaching, I highly recommend it for this purpose! Which brings me to the next point.

Success Coaching: Most colleges offer some kind of program like this, though names may differ. Success Coaching is designed for students of any academic level in order to help them get and stay on track. My college offers study skills, schedule planning, test prep, time management, help navigating campus resources, and a whole host of others. And the people doing the coaching are usually grad students who’ve been through the process. They’re typically trained in working with students with adhd, because that tends to be a significant portion of their students. They’re also just really nice to talk to. Almost like a therapist, but not quite.

Really forgetful? The best thing you can do is change your environment, not try to change yourself. You probably won’t be able to stop your brain from forgetting your notebook at home, but you can get a five subject and keep it in your backpack at all times. Same with folders. Keep losing pens/pencils? Just get a fuckton and shove them in a pouch in your backpack in the beginning of the semester. I’m not kidding when I say I have at least 20 pens and pencils in mine, not including the glitter pens and highlighters.

Planners: Many people have said that it will take time to find just the right planner for you, and they’re correct. The planner I use right now is 8x11 with wide boxes. Some prefer smaller planners, others will use planner apps or just the calendar in their phone. You’ll have to mess around a bit to see what works for you, but you do have options!

Printables: Oh man I love printables so much, but a lot of the time I find that they’re more trouble maintaining than my adhd can handle. You can find a ton on tumblr, free to download and print, and some very beautiful packs for sale on etsy. Right now I use a monthly budget printable and one for studying terms/definitions. Sometimes the adhd mind needs something pretty and different to cling to, so I try to switch things up every so often.

Color-coding: This absolutely will not work for everyone (I’ve seen people say color-coding notes gets the hung up on the coding and not the notes, and I can definitely see that happening). For me, I use color-coding in my planner. Each class gets its own color. This keeps me from seeing a page covered in the same color of ink or pencil and mentally blocking it out. Gelly roll has the most amazing glitter pens!

Test prep: Will vary depending on the person and how they learn best, but for me I’ve found that no one method will work on its own. I have class notes, typed notes, hand-written flashcards, flashcards on quizlet. I won’t pretend that it’s easy; it’s fuck-all time consuming and sometimes I don’t have energy for it, but depending on the class I usually need a combination of at least two different methods to work. This is definitely something success coaching can work with you to figure out!

General Life Advice (that will impact college):

Get on a sleep schedule: I don’t even care what your particular schedule is (because it’ll vary person to person) but just get on one. Much easier said than done, because our brains never want to shut up at night, but lack of a consistent sleep schedule will mess with your concentration, focus, hypersensitivity, etc.

I’ll just do this later...: is the adhd monster talking. What even is later? Does it exist? Sometimes I have to tell myself “nope, we’re doing this right now!” Doesn’t always work, but I try my hardest to do things in the moment if executive dysfunction isn’t at my door.

Develop a support system: This can be difficult because sometimes making and maintaining friendships with adhd can be hard, and sometimes family members aren’t very receptive or supportive. But a strong support system can make all the difference in the world! If your current friends don’t understand the extent of what you’re dealing with, send some resources their way and you might be surprised how fast they get in your corner. But sometimes people without adhd just don’t get it. If your college has a meet-up for students with adhd like mine does, this is a great place to meet like-minded students who understand what you’re going through and can provide support and advice!

I’m going to stop this here because it’s already too long, but I hope this is helpful to someone and I’d love it if you could add your own tips as well!

#adhd #actually adhd #studying with adhd #adhd tips

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zeebient · 4 years

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Since I’m pretty sure we’ve reached the climax point in our dystopian novel that 2020 has made us into and we’re currently in the defund and reform the policing system phase, I wanted to offer some insight how it could be better/why it’s so fucked up because I went through a whole schooling program that taught me that exact thing.

For clarification, when I was in high school I wanted to take as much law related classes as possible because a want to become a lawyer (currently that whole plan in on hold bc my mental health took a dive and college is expensive) but anyway one option I had was a vocational school that worked with my high school had programs you could take to learn trades and skills in your junior and senior years, attending the vocational school for half the school day with students from other schools in the county. They had a program for security & law enforcement that was sort of a catch all law related type jobs with a vague focus on policing. So everyone in the class either wanted to do some sort of forensic science, being a lawyer, or general security/police stuff and that’s what we learned.

First thing I can definitely tell you that’s messed up is that I spent more time being trained than rookie officers. To become an officer, you have to at minimum have a high school degree, most departments don’t require any college degree, you then have to apply and pass a police academy exam in get in. Once you get in police academy is approximately 26-weeks (5-6 months) of training. 12 weeks of that is in field training with a senior officer and then their test is basically the instructor being with them on patrol one day and seeing how they did and then they’re on their own as a fully fledged police officer.

GUYS, my program was 2 YEARS. Kids graduating high school should not have more training that doesn’t even give them any authority after completing the course than PROFESSIONALS.

A big part of my class was constantly critiquing any form of policing/law related work that we saw. We would purposely sit down with worksheets that would be referencing what we we’re watching and asking either in general what they were doing a wrong/right and at certain points we had to specific watch out for certain things. Then we would review and talk and re-watch and suggest better approaches to the situation. We did this with both fictional and non-fictional police shows, in order clear up common misconceptions from crime shows, as well as reviewing cold cases that were rampant with mistakes.

One thing we watched was a show called ROOKIES (2008), that followed rookie police officers during their 12 week field training. It only had 16 episodes, and for a very good reason. It followed two different police departments training, one of which was completely awful. The one I’m talking about out of the two is Jefferson Parish from Louisiana and you’ll understand in a sec. Both the senior officers and the trainees were blatantly sexist and racist toward one another and they straight up caught them abusing their authority on camera. One of the training officers hit someone’s car and on the official report they blamed the VICTIM. It gets worse because there was a rookie who was just really bad at being a cop and I’m pretty sure he went through field training twice, which is an option if you fail it, and he wasn’t ready at all but they passed him.

The show then does a follow up after, and this dude’s follow up was the worst. He was shot and killed the first day on duty, on his own. They shouldn’t have ever passed him, it was so obvious that he wasn’t competent but they did it anyway. He was engaged to be married with a kid on the way at 21. The worst part was that in the first episode he points to some plaques on the wall not knowing what they were and said he wanted to be up there with the other officers. Those officers were killed in action and that’s exactly what happened. The police academy’s gross incompetence ended any desire for the crew to continue filming.

We did this same thing with news articles, where each week we individually found one and typed up a summary and opinion on a crime related article, then read and discussed it with the class.

We did a project to create our own police departments, including, budgeting, district distribution of officers,job requirements/positions. Our teacher straight up told us that our presentations had more requirements for the positions than in real life.

We learned how to read, interpret and apply the state penal code books. We had daily worksheets about specific laws and we had write a response on how it applied in a given scenario.

My one teacher was a certified hunter & safety instructor and took several week to teach us in detail guns responsibility for what’s normally a 5 hour course required for a gun permit and then had us take the actual test.

We had an international defense training expert teach us defense tactics, the first thing before that happened,we had a lesson talking about what parts of the body are vulnerable/bad to touch/fatal. Head and neck was a big red automatic bad zone, don’t do that. We learning disarmed, deescalation, proper form and tactics, distance to maintain. So much stuff I haven’t seen being applied lately.

It’s just the bare minimum of some of the stuff I’ve learned, and there’s so much more. We even learned policing history. I know I had some great teachers but it’s just so awful that in reality that professionals aren’t even doing half of what was done for my class and that it’s a small minority. Send me asks, i’ll tell you all the stuff I learned about the dark shit that my teacher were blunt about like police domestic violence and the toxic mental health culture. There’s so much to go through and It’s been clogging up my brain.

#send me asks #police brutality #blacklivesmatter #defund cops #defundpolice #reform police #edited for clarity bc I wrote this on a coffee high

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fourmodules · 5 years

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Complete Guide To IELTS Academic Writing Task 2

Lastly, although scoring in any module or exam can be difficult, but not impossible. Every aim or goal can be accomplished if one puts all his or her efforts and hard work in it. By obeying some of these useful techniques, an applicant can enhance the writing skills flawlessly. Moreover, this will further assist a child to raise his or her IELTS scores by standing out in every section. IELTS (International English Language Testing System) is a very prevalent and most high-stakes English proficiency test, among all the non-speakers of English that owns it as a second language. All these students and workers need proof of their proficiency and this test accurately verifies it. After an expert evaluation, many skilled checkers provide you a band for each section and their average becomes your overall score or band. This test is aimed at supporting the aspirants who wish to pursue their higher education by participating in an English language University-level program or want to migrate to any other country on work or job basis, the IELTS test can help you approach your education, career or life goals. Briefly, it is a task-based test that covers four main skills of a language: Reading, Listening, Writing, and Speaking. The LRW test is held on the same day at a particular test center. The atmosphere of the test center is quite similar to an examination hall and is very strict. Under such conditions, many students feel very struggling to write an essay, where they have to think a lot to offer a great essay. However, this complete guide will discuss each and every aspect of the IELTS Academic Writing task 2 to ensure your good results in this question.

Firstly, we must highlight some basic information about the writing task 2. In this task, a candidate is made to compose an essay or article of 4-5 paragraphs, depending on the topic. Specifically, if we talk about the time allotment, each candidate gets a complete, 1-hour for the writing module. It depends on the fact that how you divide your time accordingly. It is considered that one should not spend more than 20 minutes on task 1 because task 2 is lengthier and quite hard. Consequently, you must save at least 40 minutes for this test. Moreover, if we look in-depth for the time-division, one of the best distributions is to spend 2-5 minutes on planning and brainstorming for the essay. Following it, on writing and presenting it, one must allocate a good half-an-hour and the left out 10 minutes should be devoted to editing and revising the passage. In this way, one should give his or her quality time to each and every part involved in writing to avoid any blunders & mistakes. Furthermore, the examiners evaluate your ability to express your opinions to an abstract question, reacting to social or environmental problems, analyzing the benefits or harms of a particular point, providing solutions to any problems, giving opinions & suggestions. Thus, one must take help from various Blogs and articles written by experts to widen the storehouse of your ideas.

The next important step is organizing & arranging the essay, which plays a vital role as one has to present his or her efficiently to score high. As we discussed the planning feature previously, it is very crucial to note that this complete test is an Academic and formal test. It allows and at the same time forces an aspirant to avoid any kind of informality and slang in his or her write-up. Apart from that, a thoughtful and neutral tone is highly appreciated by the examiners while evaluating the essays. Weighing to a particular side (either positive or negative), unless and until told so can adversely affect your scores. Another essential feature to organize the thesis well is putting all the similar ideas in a single paragraph to avoid confusion. This separation makes it easy for the evaluator to check your essays effortlessly that also leads to upliftment of your bands. Several experts are sitting on the online platform to serve you for the same purpose also. One can register yourself and with the help of an Improvement planner, anyone can enhance his or her performance by learning various tips and techniques.

Subsequently, to comprehend the scoring pattern of a particular task also proves very beneficial. Initially, a candidate has to answer an open and abstract question, thus the judgment is done on your content and thoughts as there is no clear or "correct" answer for it. The examiners basically check your point of perception, your portrayal of the text, and various skills that act as the base of your scores. These are:

Task Achievement ( 25% ): How well you accomplished the given question.

Coherence & Cohesion ( 25% ): How well you stick to the topic and the examiner concedes your message.

Lexical Resource ( 25% ): Ability to use an extensive series of vocabulary precisely.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy ( 25% ): Ability to implement the grammar rules & tenses in your speech accurately.

It is very important to give the examiner what he or she wants in order to score high. Moreover, this task particularly contributes two-thirds of its portion to your overall scores, which means complete 67% of the writing band comes from task 2.

Along with all the basic and formal necessities, there are certain additional tips that should be followed appropriately to stand out. It covers some understandable vocabulary words, relatable examples to reflect your practical side, linkers & connectors which act as a bridge between two lines, and a combination of various simple, complex, and compound sentences. These insertions will uplift your essay to an upper level and would draw the attention of the examiner toward your piece of work. Along with that, there are numerous habits that a student mistakenly incorporates while writing.

Some of them are bullet points or numbered list that makes your representation informal. Also, paraphrasing is very imperative for an essay because sometimes many students imitate the question sentences in their write-up in the same form as they are. On the contrary, taking and including large chunks directly from the topic will lower down the score. One must polish the vocabulary skills first and try to use synonyms & varied sentence structures to avoid duplication. Notably, this technique does not only help to avoid the question imitation, but it has also made its place in preventing redundancy in an essay. A broad and extensive vocabulary and using a cluster of simple, complex, and complicated sentences support one to add variation into his or her text.

Furthermore, when starting the preparation, it is also very valuable to solve the IELTS Practice Test first to know the current band where you stand. After interpreting this, one can easily plan the whole preparation path accordingly. These help an aspirant to understand the format of the test and the types of questions asked. Later with the feature of Instant Score Feedback, which you may find on fourmodules.com, you will be able to get your responses to evaluate efficiently by the experts. With the help of this verification, a candidate will comprehend where he or she stands. Moreover, this will help him or her to work upon the weaknesses to omit out all the flaws from their writings.

#ielts #ielts academic #ielts practice test online #ielts mock test online #ielts online preparation #cd-ielts practice test #cd-ielts mock test #computer delivered ietls practice test #computer delivered ielts mock test #cd-ielts practice #cd-ielts sample test

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myaekingheart · 5 years

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16. Unmei no Akai Ito

read the scarecrow and the bell on ao3

index | from the beginning | < previous | next >

***TW: SELF HARM***

Just continue to move straight ahead. I can't help looking at you. Whether or not I am beside you, there is a red string that ties people together. -Akai Ito, Inaba Koshi

Rei sucked in a deep breath as she stepped foot into the hokage’s office. She had been rather busy these days, it seemed. Lord Third always needed her to do something. Her only reprieve was that for every mission, she was always placed in a squad with Kakashi. His presence made her feel a bit safer, even if she still felt strange around him. They hadn’t had a chance to spend another night alone together since that first date but simply fighting alongside him at least helped to fill some of the void. She thought about him often, her mind always jumping back to the final exam in the Forest of Death. The more frequently she worked, the more dangerous her missions became and the threat of death constantly loomed over her head. Her only reassurance was Kakashi. She thought of the way he held her close, his promise that he would not let her die. She knew that the hokage had assigned her to look after him, but in a way she felt as if he was looking after her, as well. So long as they were together, she knew she would be safe. Straightening her back, Rei clenched her fists at her sides and approached the hokage’s desk. “You called for me, Lord Third?”

“Yes, yes, come in, Rei” he motioned for her to step close and she obeyed. Standing off to the side were two other black ops members: Tenshi and a young man who she recognized as Kakashi’s friend Tenzo. She didn’t know Tenzo very well, but she had seen him around the dormitories from time to time. After a while, she had come to understand he was the same shinobi who escorted her through the annals of the ANBU facility the day she joined.

The hokage huffed his pipe as he explained their mission: track down an enemy ninja seen heading for Kusagakure and return him to the village for questioning to ensure he did not release any intel on the Hidden Leaf or Land of Fire. It was a simple enough procedure, truly nothing they hadn’t already dealt with before. The capture would be easy. It was the interrogation that would prove rough. Kusa-nin were always difficult to read, but Rei had faith in Ibiki and Inoichi’s skill. All Rei had to do was track him down and reel him in. But of course, someone always had to make things unnecessarily difficult.

“Lord Hokage, don’t you think we’re missing something?” Tenshi asked. The hokage blinked a few times as he tried to thumb through his thoughts but couldn’t come up with an answer. “We’re missing someone” she pressed. When the hokage still did not catch on, Tenshi sighed in minor frustration and explained, “What about Kakashi? Isn’t he joining us, as well?”

It was then that Rei realized the copy ninja was, indeed, missing and her heart raced for a moment. She didn’t expect his accompaniment to expire so soon. The thought of not having him by her side made her nervous. He was, in a way, her safety net and she cursed herself for ever growing dependent on his presence. Without him, she felt chaotic.

“I’m sorry to inform you but Kakashi will not be joining you on this mission” the hokage explained. “Kakashi is currently involved in other assignments, but I have good faith that you three can handle things on your own.” The hokage sounded so confident in their abilities, but it was clear there was a charge of panic coursing through the room. Deep down, Rei knew a mission without Kakashi must have meant she was advancing and a good enough kunoichi to work without his surveillance. Still, his absence made her nervous. Moreover, this seemed like the exact opposite of her purpose here, which seemed both promising and puzzling.

Tenshi of course protested this but ultimately was forced to accept her fate. Rei rolled her eyes behind her mask in disgust. More and more, it seemed like her only motivation to work at all was to get close to Kakashi. Even when he expressed zero interest in her, she refused to give up the fight. She was determined to get him one way or the other, even if by force. The thought of it all made Rei sick. They were elite ninja and all she cared about was getting into someone’s pants.

“So, who is this guy we’re after again?” Tenshi asked that afternoon, filing her nails as she leapt from tree branch to tree branch. “Whatever, we should just make this quick. I’m sure I can take this guy down with just my little finger.”

“And risk breaking a nail? Doubtful” Rei snapped.

“Is it such a crime to take care of your appearance?” Tenshi fired back, whipping around to face the redhead. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look good, you know. Not that you would know anything about that.”

“Alright, ladies, let’s just calm down and try to focus on the mission, alright?” Tenzo interrupted. Internally, he was cursing the hokage for sticking him with two bickering women. Was it really so hard to set their differences aside for the sake of professionalism?

“Yeah, Tenshi, you can cut the crap. Kakashi’s not here” Rei commented. Tenshi squeaked in surprise, then narrowed her eyes at her comrade. Tenzo’s ears pricked up at the mention of Kakashi’s name, glancing to the two women briefly. So that was the major conflict between them. It took all of his strength not to laugh under his breath. As far as Tenzo knew, Kakashi didn’t give a single care for relationships. He had known the copy ninja for quite some time now and was certain his only focus was his work. He didn’t expend much time for a social life. He did, however, feel a surge of excitement about this intel. He wondered what Kakashi would say if he found out he had two women fighting over him, if he would even say anything at all. Either way, all of that could stand to wait. His primary concern now was the mission. Once completed, then he would be able to test the effects of this new information.

Tiny bugs crawled up Rei’s legs as she hid in the brush with her partners, eyeing the home where their target was rumored to be staying. From the little information they had gathered, they could glean that their criminal was a spy collecting intel for a greater power but the details, the who and the why, were hazy at best. The longer they waited, the more Rei’s mind wandered on the subject. She had noticed some questionable happenings between the Five Great Nations lately and a sense of danger loomed overhead. If this man had anything to do with it, they wanted answers.

The plan, per Tenzo, was to hold back until the perfect moment, then strike, arguing that they needed to be careful. The goal was to fulfill their mission quickly and easily, all while not being seen. After all, ANBU infiltrating foreign nations was seen as a threat. They were invaders and one false move could start wars.

Rei glanced over to Tenshi, who made her boredom very clear. She sighed and tilted her head back, arms crossed. “I say we just jump in there and take him by the balls” the brunette suggested.

“We’d get ourselves killed, smart-ass. I agree with Tenzo, the only way to do this is to wait for the perfect moment to—” Rei began but her sentence was cut short by their teammate slapping her on the shoulder and motioning for her to look ahead. The back door creaked open and out came their target tugging a hefty garbage bag. The three shinobi glanced to each other with a nod, then swept into action.

Everything happened so quickly. This was supposed to be an easy mission. In one fluid motion, Rei assaulted the criminal with Water Style: Water Wall, knocking him to the ground so Tenzo could swoop in and trap him with his Wood Style jutsu. The man struggled, however, and escaped Tenzo’s grasp. Tenshi locked her eyes on their target but just as she was about to release a fire style offensive, all hell broke loose. The back door swung open and a blur surged toward the man, shrieking hysterically. Rei extinguished Tenshi’s flames with her water style and yelled at Tenzo not to let him get away. Approaching their target was none other than a small child, her blue eyes wide with terror and spilling with tears. She continued to scream, desperate for her father, her voice carrying throughout the entire village. Then her mother appeared in the doorway, face frozen in shock. The little girl begged her to do something, crying that they were going to take her father away. Rei watched her with sharp eyes as the woman then slowly reached behind her and pulled out a kitchen knife. Shit, she’s armed. Without a moment’s hesitation, the woman aimed the blade right for Rei’s throat with a horrendous battle cry. Dogs barked in the background. Lights were beginning to flicker on, curious about the commotion.

Meanwhile, the man tried to take advantage of the chaos to escape, shouting for his wife and daughter to run to someplace safe. Tenshi wouldn’t let him get away so easily, though, attacking him with the Fire Release: Heavenly Prison. He screamed and squirmed, desperate to escape, proving that they had no other choice. In a matter of seconds, the man fell to the ground, unconscious. His daughter shrieked, tears streaming down her face. Rei locked eyes with her as she rushed forward and time slowed to a crawl. She had never seen such pain before. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry…

An arm reached out and pulled Rei back into the brush, snapping her from her daze. Tenshi dragged her all the way to the Land of Fire’s outskirts. The man’s body bobbed as they went, slung over Tenzo’s shoulder. It wasn’t until they were safely within the borders of their own country when someone finally broke the silence.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I think that went perfectly” Tenshi remarked. The terrifying part was that there was not a single ounce of sarcasm in her voice. She genuinely believed that they had not screwed this up in the slightest.

Tenzo shook his head, eyes staring forward. “It could’ve been better” he replied. “This would’ve been a lot easier had the family not intervened.”

Tenshi flicked her ponytail back over her shoulder and pursed her lips. “They deserved it. They really should’ve seen this coming from a mile away. I mean, what did they expect? I, for one, would never marry a criminal. I mean, that’s just common sense. And then to pop out a kid with the guy? Puh-lease. She had it coming.”

In that moment, something snapped within Rei. She had been travelling alongside them thus far in a sort of haze, overwhelmed with their situation. She stared at the man slung over Tenzo’s shoulder and wondered about his past and his life. How did he meet his wife? Was he excited to become a father? How did he get to this point? Who was he gathering intel for? And why? Perhaps he was financially unstable and did what he needed to do to provide for his family, even if it meant risking his own life. Despite the illegality of it, it was admirable. They had no idea what his story really was but that didn’t matter. All that was important now was that he was a criminal and their mission was fulfilled. She couldn’t think about his family and how it was now broken and it was all her fault. No matter how hard she tried, however, Rei couldn’t get that little girl’s red, snotty, scrunched up face out of her mind. Her screams echoed in her ears. And now here was Tenshi, inconsiderate and self-centered, saying that this innocent woman and child deserved this pain? Rei gritted her teeth and with one surge of chakra, launched herself at Tenshi. The pair tumbled down where Rei pinned the brunette to the ground and began punching her with all of her might. Tenshi shrieked and squirmed, calling her crazy and begging Tenzo to step in and help. He set the fugitive down in his line of sight and tore Rei off of her partner.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he shouted at her. Rei gasped for breath, brushing her hair out of her sweaty face. Blood from where the wife’s blade had scraped her smeared across her cheek, her mask thrown toward the edge of the brush. As she stared down at Tenshi, face now red and pulsing, she realized what she had done and was overcome with a disgust strong enough to make her sick. She couldn’t bring herself to speak. Tenzo sighed and shook his head in disdain, reaching out a hand to help Tenshi up. She brushed the dirt off her uniform and shouted obscenities at Rei, claiming she was insane and ought to be sent to the nut house, constantly asking her what the hell she was thinking. In any normal circumstance, Rei would fire back filled with fury and passion. Now, she felt absolutely nothing.

The remainder of their trip back was endured mostly in silence. When the man finally awoke, Rei snapped at him to shut up and threatened a fiery death if he even thought of running off. Tenzo pursed his lips in mild discomfort. He had never seen her so unhinged before. He remembered the day he walked her through the enrollment process for the black ops. He found her gasping for breath with vomit on her lips after receiving her tattoo. I didn’t think she would make it back then, he thought. I thought the hokage had made a mistake, that she wasn’t fit for the black ops, but now I see that perhaps there’s something in her that I never really caught before.

There was perhaps only one other person he had seen with that much fire and strife reflected in their eyes, the distant white-haired boy with the secondhand eye. He knew nothing of Kakashi and Rei’s history, but in that moment he was reminded of her and Tenshi’s argument earlier, the way they bickered over Kakashi like schoolgirls on the playground. He didn’t want to pick sides or play into some childish game but after what he had seen that day, he knew he was willing to bet his money on Rei. She was cut from the same cloth, filled with the same brand of pain. He saw a lot of Kakashi reflected in her eyes, cold and sharp and determined. He could scarcely sleep that night thinking about it.

The hokage praised their punctuality and how clean a capture they had achieved. They said nothing of the disaster with the young man’s family. Lord Third didn’t need to know. All that was important was that they had finished the job they were assigned to do. The minute he dismissed them, Rei turned and stalked out the door without a single word.

She didn’t particularly want to be out and about, but she didn’t want to stay home, either. She stopped in to change clothes and then rushed back out into the village to stroll around mindlessly. Her apartment was too confining. Her own thoughts would bounce against the walls before inevitably choking her.

She couldn’t shake that little girl’s face from her mind. Her screams still rang in her ears. Of all the missions she had been on thus far, none had ever been quite so bad as this. Was what they did right? She supposed it depended on who you asked. They were only doing their job, retrieving a suspicious ninja who could’ve leaked intel on their village. Who knew what would come of that? But then, would a husband and a father do such a thing? She knew the answer was subjective—if he needed the money, surely he would do anything for his family. Even if that meant breaking the law and leaking information to enemy ninja. Still, she couldn’t help but wonder what kinds of repercussions this would have on his wife and child. Would they ever see their beloved again? Or would he be locked up in Konoha’s jail to rot away? Would that child resent Rei and her village for the rest of her life for what she had done? She assumed it was highly probable. Grudges were hard to shake, especially of this magnitude.

Rei had done her job, she had accomplished what the hokage had asked of her, but at what cost? Was it really worth tearing a family apart like that? A sudden, disgusting realization struck her as she circled the road where her family’s bookstore sat. Perhaps this was exactly why she did not, in fact, belong in the black ops. She had questioned her position here for so long but now she was certain she knew the truth. She just couldn’t keep her emotions at bay. They always found a way to dig themselves up out of the dirt and twist their way into her head. Emotions were dangerous. Emotions were a liability. She was not allowed to feel. And yet here she was feeling all sorts of things: regret, uncertainty, low confidence, even loneliness (which she hated to admit a part of her liked). She pressed her palm against her shoulder where, beneath her sleeve, her tattoo sat. She could feel its presence burn against her skin and she cursed under her breath. This was all one big mistake. The hokage had made a terrible decision. She was not strong enough for this, after all. Her father was right. Kakashi was right. She didn’t belong here at all.

By sunset, she knew she had no other choice but to return home. It was getting dark and she didn’t particularly want to be out late at night. She knew the kinds of men that lurked through the village after sundown, drunken and disgusting. She didn’t feel like fighting off someone trying to cop a feel. She trudged upstairs only to be met with Tenshi shuffling through her mail. How did she always have so much freaking mail? She must be popular, Rei thought, probably keeping sweet-talking penpals who send her fancy gifts to try to earn a night with her.

“Where have you been?” the brunette asked, though she didn’t sound super interested in the answer. She didn’t even look up from her mail.

“What does it matter to you?” Rei fired back. It was then that Tenshi finally looked up, an impressed expression painting her face but not one of ingenuity. Instead, it was the kind of impressed a mother feels when their child talks back to them and the mother wants to test how far the kid will try to push them.

“We’re feisty today, huh?” she scoffed. “What? Did someone piss in your ramen?”

“Oh, shut up” Rei snapped. She fished through her pouch for her keys, but her hands shook from having barely eaten all day. She couldn’t stand to stomach food at a time like this. Not when her brain was taking full control.

“Did you ever get that cut fixed up?” Tenshi asked after a few moments of silence. Rei was surprised at the question, having not expected Tenshi to ever care a single morsel for her wellbeing. She pressed her hand against the side of her neck, the cut shallow but still tender and unclean, and shook her head. “Pfft, you should really take care of that before it gets infected. Although, if you contract some bacterial infection and die within twenty four hours, then I guess I’d get Kakashi all to myself! Maybe rub a little dirt in the thing, then” she continued. There she is, Rei thought to herself with disgust.

“Yeah, bet things would be much better that way, anyway. Thanks for the advice” Rei said. She had finally dug up her key and began unlocking her door when she felt a firm hand pressed against her shoulder.

“Wait a second” she heard Tenshi speak. Rei turned to look up at her with daggers in her eyes. “Seriously, what the hell has gotten into you?” she asked. Rei glared up at her for a moment, as if to silently ask whether she really cared to hear the answer, but in the time during which she remained silent, Tenshi began to piece together the truth. “Is this about the last mission? With the screaming brat and try-hard mother?” she asked. Rei blinked a few times, unsure of how to answer. She assumed a simple yes would suffice, but her throat refused to form the words. Tenshi removed her hand from Rei’s shoulder and rolled her eyes begrudgingly. “Really, Rei, grow some balls. It’s not that big a deal. Shit like this happens all the time, just get over it.”

“Get over it?” Rei asked. Tenshi had no fucking clue. Without another word, Rei shoved her front door open and burst inside, slamming it hard in the brunette’s face.

A knock. Lord Third bid his assistant entrance, scurrying inside with a pigeon alighted on his arm. “We have just received a message from Kusagakure, Lord Third. I suggest you take a look at it immediately.” The old man nodded and took the scroll from him, unrolling it and scanning the contents. The further into the message he got, the more displeased he became. This was just what he feared. Perhaps the new recruits really did still need Kakashi as chaperone.

Rei groaned and drew her sheets up over her head as the sunlight filtered through her window. She had spent the entire night tossing and turning unable to stop thinking about the way things were handled, and about that little girl. She desperately did not want to get out of bed, her urge to sleep all day made stronger by the knock that then sounded from her door. Not even Kakashi would encourage her to get up, and that was saying a lot.

The knocking ceased to stop for five full minutes, and Rei wondered what the hell he even wanted. He didn’t even say anything, just kept rapping mindlessly at the wood. After another few moments, she couldn’t take it anymore. “Alright, fine! I’m coming! Geez!” she shouted, slithering out of bed and sliding a pair of dirty pants on. Her hair was a tangled mess, her breath smelled awful, and she was pretty sure there was a stain on her nightshirt but she wasn’t in a mindset to really care. Kakashi had known her since she was a baby, he had caught her pissing her pants at one point, he could handle her morning alter ego just fine. Or at least she thought he could. She was sure Kakashi wouldn’t care, regardless. And truly, he wouldn’t. Only it was not Kakashi on the other side of the door.

Tenzo looked her up and down a moment, his eyes wide and disconcerting. “Uh…is this a bad time? Because I don’t want to interrupt if you’re—” he stammered but Rei shook her head.

“You dragged me out of bed already, might as well spit it out” she said. “So, what is it? What do you want?”

He couldn’t look her in the eyes, both due to her current state and because of the way she was the other day. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. “The hokage summoned us all to his office immediately, said he had something very important to speak with us about” Tenzo explained.

Rei blinked, face displeased. “This early? Does the man not know the meaning of sleep?” she asked.

“I wouldn’t question him. If this is as important as it seems to be, I think it would be a good idea to get over there quickly” he replied. “You’re, uh…you’re not going like that, are you?” he then added nervously.

The redhead rolled her eyes and stepped inside her apartment. “Of course not” she spat. Tenzo told her to meet him and Tenshi in the lobby in ten minutes or else they’re leaving without her. She nodded in compliance and then slammed the door. As she got dressed, however, her mind began racing with what if’s. What could the hokage possibly want with the three of them? All she could think of was that it had something to do with their mission. Perhaps the mother and daughter were so traumatized they complained to their own kage, who then was so angry he decided to declare war on the Leaf Village and it would all be their fault. Or at least all her fault. She knew none of this was her sole responsibility but no one else seemed to be taking the brunt here, so it naturally laid upon her. Weighing her down like a log crushing a rat. For a moment, she swore she was going to be sick.

She met with the pair just in the nick of time and walked silently behind them as they approached the hokage’s office. The dome-shaped building seemed far more intimidating now knowing she was very likely in heaps of trouble. When they reached the office, he ushered them inside with a grave look upon his face. “I think it’s time we all had a little talk” he started.

Tenshi then raised her hand as if she was back in the academy. The hokage paused a moment before granting her permission to speak. “How long is this going to take? I have other things to do today, you know.” Lord Third looked upon her darkly, as if he was struggling not to smack her. Tenzo shot her an exasperated, embarrassed look as if to beg her to shut up. She looked to everyone in the room with genuine confusion. “What? Is it so wrong to try to keep to a schedule?”

Unable to hold herself back, Rei replied through gritted teeth, “Well maybe if you stopped complaining, we would get this done a lot quicker!”

“Alright, settle down now” the hokage interrupted, making a patting motion with his hands. “I called you all here today to address some issues pertaining to your latest mission. Late last night, I received a message from Kusagakure’s carrier pigeon detailing some complaints the residents had about a ‘scuffle’ the other night involving the Konoha black ops. Witnesses said there was mass chaos and that things were handled in a very unprofessional matter. The kage himself has stated a great disdain for the way things were handled and recommends I suspend you all lest you want to start some sort of war.” The hokage stopped here to look upon the somber faces of his ninja. Even Tenshi expressed some semblance of guilt. “Compared to your reactions when you returned here the other day, I feel as if I am getting two very different stories and am unsure which to believe. Can any of you tell me now what, exactly, happened on this mission?”

Tenzo immediately stepped forward. “I will explain, Lord Third” he began. Tenshi eyed him as if he was about to reveal some massive secret, and for a moment Rei truly despised her. Not that she didn’t already hate Tenshi, but the thought of her thinking so little of other people’s feelings to the point where she was willing to shove something like this under the rug? Disgusting.

The hokage nodded, urging Tenzo to proceed his story. Rei sucked in a deep breath and prepared for the worst. As far as she knew, Tenzo was an honest, upstanding citizen who would explain everything just as it happened. He was well-composed, no waver in his voice. He cleared his throat, and then began.

“We infiltrated the village from the northwest side, closing in on the building our target was rumored to be staying in. When he exited the premises to take out the trash, we zeroed in on him in what should have been a clean capture but extenuating circumstances prevented such. A woman and child came from inside the house and, as you can likely imagine, were very unhappy. The child began to cause a scene, and the mother used a kitchen knife to try and fight against us. Neither of us sustained any serious injuries, but the blade caught Rei on the left side of her neck. The man struggled and resisted arrest, so we had no choice but to use force and escape as quickly as possible. We departed the village as other residents began to leave their homes in curiosity.”

The hokage tented his fingers and nodded as he listened. Once Tenzo was finished, Lord Third gazed upon each of their faces a moment before speaking. “I can see that what you say is true, but that does not mean I am happy with the circumstances. I understand that there were external forces at play, but I am still very disappointed in the way you handled this. The situation was managed in a sloppy and disrespectful manner that has damaged the name of the Leaf. Do you have anything to say for yourselves?”

Tenzo opened his mouth to speak but of course Tenshi stepped in and spoke over him, debating the hokage’s stance. Rei only half listened to her argument, her mind spiraling. If anything, this was a simple confirmation of everything she had been thinking since the incident occurred. She was not a good ninja. She made a massive mistake. She put her village in danger. She did not belong here.

She wandered home in a daze, bumping into the rare villager here and there. Small children paused their games of keidoro in the streets to stare at her, as if they could see straight through her mask, and whisper about her among themselves, saying she seemed scary or something like that. The minute she returned home, she ripped her mask off her face and gasped for fresh air, then tossed the damn thing into the corner of the room with all her might. Fortunately, brute strength was not her forte and she did no damage to the mask itself, but she wished she had. She leaned over her desk and panted heavily, her face beading with sweat. She felt claustrophobic and unhinged, as if she was trapped in a tornado with no reprieve. If her grip on the edge gave way even in the slightest, her hands would lay victim to horrible tremors that would extend all the way through the rest of her body. She caught sight of her reflection in the little mirror nearby and wanted to puke. And then her eyes shifted to the glint of the kanzashi on the desktop. She thought of the tip, of its sharpness, and felt compelled to touch it, to press it against her skin and see what she could make of it. She knew this was not Grandma Teiko’s intended use, and the thought of harming herself with something so sacred pained her, but the urge was far stronger than any regret. Just as she reached for the kanzashi, however, there was yet again a knock at the door and she shouted the most profane word she knew of in response.

“What do you want?” she snapped, swinging the door open. She expected it to be Tenzo again, or even Tenshi back to dish out more insensitivity, but instead she was met with a shocked Kakashi and she immediately wished she hadn’t said anything at all. He looked her up and down and knew in an instant there was something wrong. Without an invitation, he stepped inside.

“I heard what happened and wanted to make sure you were alright” he said. He looked around the apartment for anything amiss, finding her mask on the floor. Then he looked to her: her red, sweaty face and glossy eyes and rapid breath. He knew without her even needing to say anything that she was not alright.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. I don’t…I don’t need you checking up on me, alright? Everything’s fine” she lied. Unfortunately, lying was also not her forte. Kakashi cocked a brow and took her shoulders so that he could steady her and look her dead in the eyes. She wasn’t sure if it was that sharingan of his or what but she felt as if when he looked in her eyes, he was staring straight into her soul. She couldn’t carry on lying to him.

“Now, tell me how you really feel” he urged. She blinked a few times before the tears refused to restrain themselves anymore, spilling down her cheeks silently. Shaking his head, Kakashi pulled her into his arms and held her there, rubbing her back, until she had calmed down.

“I can’t do this anymore” she had said later, sitting beside him on the edge of her bed.

“Can’t do what?” he asked sternly. He feared her answer more than anything but knew remaining silent would be an answer in and of itself.

Shaking her head, she motioned to the room and then pointed to the tattoo on her arm. “This.” Rei buried her face in her hands despondently. “I think there’s been a terrible mistake.”

“What do you mean?” Kakashi asked. He wasn’t liking where this was going at all.

“The hokage, he…he screwed up recommending me to ANBU. I’m not…I’m not good enough” she replied, the last part a pained whisper. “I’m supposed to be skilled and emotionless and smart. I’m supposed to be so smart. But I screwed up. I made a mistake. I’m not skilled or emotionless or smart. Instead I’m stupid and talentless and get far too invested in things. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her, that little girl…the screaming is still ringing in my ears. I tore apart a family. I ruined someone’s life. And for what? I’m a bad ninja, Kakashi. Lord Third made a huge mistake. I don’t…I don’t belong here.”

Kakashi’s heart broke hearing her words, how hard she was on herself. Was this because of what he had done? Was she like this because he told her she wasn’t good enough so long ago? He hated to think he had a hand in this. “You’re wrong” he replied. “A good shinobi is not a robot void of any feelings. A good shinobi does what is right and what is necessary in spite of those feelings. To bring your personal feelings into a battlefield is a death wish, but to know what is right and choose to ignore it is the act of a coward. The enemy’s family was completely out of your control, there was nothing more you could do. At the end of the day, that man was a criminal and he needed to face the consequences of his actions.”

Rei nodded slowly, though nothing he said made her feel any better. If anything, she felt as if he was just contributing to the blame. So even Kakashi thought she had screwed up. Realistically, she didn’t know what else she expected. “Thanks, Kakashi” she said softly, wrapping her arms around her waist. Even if nothing he said helped, she wanted to at least leave him believing that was the case. She watched him stand and head toward the door, reassuring her that everything would be fine, before departing. Once alone, she was finally able to stew in her own guilt and self-hatred properly. Her eyes darted back to the kanzashi on her desk, Kakashi’s words echoing in her ears. To know what is right and choose to ignore it is the act of a coward. She was a coward, though. She had no idea what she was doing and everything about her life nowadays terrified her. She ripped her gloves and her gauntlets off and tossed them to the floor, a lump rising in her throat, then rose from her bed and crossed the room.

Lord Third was reviewing the paperwork on his desk when there was a knock at the door. He glanced up, then called for his visitor to enter. Rei clenched her fists at her sides then stepped inside, feeling lucky her face was hidden. “Ah, Rei, I was just about to summon you” he greeted. “What can I do for you?”

Rei glanced to the hokage’s assistant and then out the window and then to the floor. “I was wondering, if it’s not too much to ask, if I could request a private conversation with you, Lord Third” she said, voice sounding far smaller than she expected. The hokage paused a moment, blinked, and then motioned for his assistant to leave the room. Once they were alone, he took another long drag from his pipe.

“You might as well take your mask off now” the hokage suggested, “Seeing as it’s just the two fo us.” Rei’s hand hovered over her face, hesitant, before obeying. “Well? What seems to be the trouble, Rei?” he asked. The redhead fidgeted and refused to look him in the eye. Hiruzen Sarutobi had a relatively firm idea of what she was about to say just based on her body language, but he wanted to hear her say it herself.

“Well…correct me if I’m wrong, sir, but…I think you have made a massive mistake” she started. Then, when he stared back at her expectantly, she added, “I don’t think I belong in the ANBU.”

“You doubt my judgment?” he asked.

“No, no, no! It’s not that! It’s just…” Rei countered. “This last mission got me thinking and I just…I don’t know. I can’t help but feel like I’m not cut out for this. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, after all.”

The hokage shook his head and rose from his seat to look out upon the village. What he said next was nowhere near what Rei was expecting. “I’ve seen a change in Kakashi these past few weeks” he stated. Rei’s spine shot ramrod straight and a lump rose in her throat. “He is not nearly the dark, gloomy boy he once was. True, he is still far from perfectly fine but there has been a distinct shift in his mood and his demeanor. Sometimes he smiles now, and he makes conversation with the other shinobi. He never did that before.”

“Lord Third, w-why are you telling me all of this?” Rei asked, a sense of panic in her voice.

Hiruzen finally glanced to her from the corner of his eyes. “I tell you this because it means my plan is working. You are fulfilling the mission I asked of you when I assigned you to the black ops in the first place. You remember that afternoon, yes?” Rei nodded. “I thought you would.”

“But that doesn’t mean anything” Rei argued. “Is this the only reason you even put me in the black ops? To babysit Kakashi?”

The hokage’s face turned sour. “You know the answer to this, Rei” he replied. “You are more than just a ‘babysitter’ to Kakashi. Yes, the main reason I wanted you in the black ops was to keep an eye on him and help him get back to center, but I would not have appointed you if I did not think you were capable of all that the ANBU required of you. Is that understood?” Rei nodded slowly.

“But how am I supposed to keep doing this if I don’t really feel like I belong here?” Rei asked. “I feel like everything I do is wrong. My emotions are so strong, they only get in the way. I’m not sure if I’m tough enough for this.”

“Your lack of belief in yourself contributes to your failure” he stated. The word failure struck Rei hard in the chest, a kunai straight for the heart. So she had failed after all. “Rei, have you ever heard the story of unmei no akai ito?”

Rei blinked despondently. Somehow it sounded familiar and yet she couldn’t remember a thing about it. She shook her head, trying to discern where Lord Third was going with this.

“There is a tale about a young boy who encountered an old man on his way home one night” the hokage began. “This man told the young boy that there is a red thread tied around his pinky finger that attaches him to his destiny. While this string may tangle and stretch, it can never break regardless of circumstances.”

“What does this have to do with anything?” Rei asked. She flexed her pinky finger stupidly, knowing that there was absolutely nothing tied to it. Old man must be crazy.

Lord Third shook his head and took another drag from his pipe. “The old man showed the young boy who he was destined to be with, a young girl, but the boy had no interest in this and threw a rock at her head. Once the boy had become a young man, he was arranged to marry. When he lifted her veil, he was delighted to see she was very beautiful but had a strange decoration on her eyebrow. When he asked of this, she replied that when she was a child, a young boy threw a rock at her head and left a scar there that she was self-conscious of. This woman was the same young girl that the old man told the boy was his destiny, and they were connected by the red thread of fate, unmei no akai ito.”

Rei’s heart began racing in her chest. She hated this story and she wished the hokage had never told her any of it. “That’s ridiculous” she said, waving him off. “That’s silly. That makes no sense. That’s just a kid’s fairytale.”

“Or is it?” the hokage asked wisely. “Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?”

A part of her thought she did, but the truth of it scared her and she wanted nothing to do with it. This was getting to be far too much. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

Hiruzen, however, did not listen to her pleas. “From the moment we are born, we all have a destiny to fulfill. We are tied to this destiny no matter what else may happen. Even if you cannot see it now, everything is working simply according to fate’s design. Meaning that yes, Rei, you do, in fact, belong here.”

For a moment, Rei swore she could slap the old man. All of that just to try and convince her of something she knew was false? This was ridiculous. She couldn’t help herself from rolling her eyes.

“I know it is hard to believe that you are meant to be someplace you do not feel skilled or prepared for but I assure you, fate makes no mistake. I am just the vessel through which life brought you here. Have more confidence in yourself, Rei. You are a fine kunoichi and you are more than capable of succeeding in the black ops, and more.”

Rei trudged home that night exhausted and bothered. Lord Third’s story rang in her ears for the rest of the day, a torturous pang that she could never escape. She peered down the hall as she unlocked the door, her eyes landing on Kakashi’s apartment. She wondered if he was inside, then scrubbed the thoughts from her mind. She didn’t want to think about him. Not now. Once she stepped inside, she changed out of her black ops uniform and slumped into her desk chair tiredly. The kanzashi her grandmother gave her sat nearby, the gold glistening in the moonlight. The tip was still stained with the evidence of her earlier endeavors. She glanced to the markings up her arm and thought of that red thread of fate. Something like that couldn’t really exist, could it? She doubted there was really anything attaching her to her destiny, especially if that destiny involved Kakashi. She still found it hard to believe that that night they spent together was anything more than two friends reuniting after years of distance. She could not possibly imagine Kakashi feeling anything toward her. It was impossible.

The longer she sat there, the longer her thoughts began to drive her crazy and she considered picking up that stupid, sharp little hair pin again but decided against it. Instead, she rushed to her window and stuck her head out into the cool night air, gasping for breath. The moon shone high overhead and the streetlights flickered. Beneath one, an older man stood, likely a merchant on his way home. She stared at him as he waved down a small boy with goggles on his head and stripes on his cheeks. She recognized him at once. She regretted being unable to hear exactly what the man was saying but saw him point to the east. She followed his finger to the gates of the Hyuga clan’s land, then looked back to find the boy tilting his head in confusion. You and me both, kid.

No matter how hard she tried to sleep that night, every time she closed her eyes she saw veins of red, threads tangling with one another to make one massive, complicated knot. The scrapes on her arm ached and her chest felt tight and her eyelids began to grow heavy. The old man’s voice rang in her ears. From the moment we are born, we all have a destiny to fulfill. We are tied to this destiny no matter what else may happen. Even if you cannot see it now, everything is working simply according to fate’s design. What a bunch of bullshit. She laughed quietly to herself as she rolled over and pulled the sheets up high over her head.

Alright, fine, she thought to herself, on the verge of sleep. Let’s test this theory then. Prove to me that this is meant to be. Show me where this red thread leads. Take me to my destiny.

#tw: self harm #kakashi hatake #rei natsuki #the scarecrow and the bell #naruto #naruto oc #fanfiction #ramblings

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neuxue · 6 years

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Wheel of Time liveblogging: The Gathering Storm ch 26

Aviendha gets a promotion, Romanda has a barbecue, and I lose it at any mention of Rhuidean because I am a parody of myself.

Chapter 26: A Crack in the Stone

Hey Aviendha, worked out the meaning of your punishments yet?

The Aiel brought only what they could carry, and their war band included only soldiers and Wise Ones.

Have the Aiel ever referred to themselves as ‘soldiers’ before? It strikes me as off, a little, but it could be that Jordan used it as well and I’m just misremembering.

Aviendha’s moving water from one bucket to another with her finger, one drop at a time, and I never thought I’d say this but right now I’m glad my university went with boring old paper examinations.

Actually I’d probably be okay at the Accepted test. And the Aes Sedai one, even. And those would certainly be more fun than written exams, for a given definition of ‘fun’…but this last Wise One test? No thank you.

It made her angry. Then that anger made her ashamed.

Anger leads to shame? Well at least she’s not turning into a Sith.

The Last Battle would be a test unlike any her people had ever known.

Will it? It’s shaping up to be one hell of a bigass battle, sure, but beyond sheer scope and scale and stakes…the Aiel know battle. The greater test, it seems to me, is everything else. Their history and their tests have been ones of identity and survival, and I would argue that’s the greater test that’s facing them now – maintaining a sense of identity as everything changes around them, as they leave their home and face the truth of their history and the uncertainty of their future.

After that, a battle – even if it is potentially world-ending – against a known or defined enemy would be almost a relief. What comes afterthe battle, though…‘The great battle done, but the world not done with battle’. What comes next for them, once they have left this chapter of their history behind? What do they become now, now that they have left the Three-fold Land and taken up their place as the People of the Dragon? ‘He will take you back, and he will destroy you’. That’s already begun; it started back at Alcair Dal. The Aiel have already begun to be scattered and broken and changed, and while Tarmon Gai’don itself will likely claim plenty of lives, I think Rand himself is more of a catalyst here. And the Aiel themselves, as it has always been in their history.

Anyway, Rhuidean still haunts me, news at eleven.

“Are you all right?”

Min! I almost can’t believe Min is on the askingside of that question, but it’s Min, so of course she is. Still. Are you okay, Min?

She wore a scarf at her neck.

Maybe…maybe she and Mat can start a trend? Exchange tips on How To Accessorise Your Asphyxiation? Bit of a niche market but I’m sure there’s some business to be had…

“I thought I could talk to you,” Min said, still looking out at the camp “I’m not sure who else I could approach. I don’t trust the Aes Sedai, and neither does he. I’m not sure he trusts anyone, now. Maybe not even me.”

Oh, Min. She tries so hard, and she just keeps going and keeps trying even when everything turns to an absolute literal horror show around her, but…what now? What can she do, when he no longer trusts her? The one person he still trusted, the one who almost convinced him he had gone too far…until that backfired in the most spectacular way possible. So now he can’t let himself trust, and he can’t trust himself with her, and Min tries so hardbut what can even she do, now? Where can she go, when there’s no one left who can reach him? He’s alone now; he may not have truly driven away all those who love him, but he has shut himself off from the last of them. It’s the culmination of a long, long process, and now…what more can they do, that they haven’t already tried?

Not to mention, Min was just nearly killed by someone she loves, and she’s still looking for a way to help him, and someone please just pull Min aside for five minutes and give her a cup of hot chocolate and a hug and maybe the business card of a really good therapist for when this is all over.

Aviendha had heard about the events the night before

What did she hear, exactly? What are the rumours? How much is actually known? Because that’s the sort of thing that can look so very different depending on how it’s being told, and by whom.

Rand al’Thor had fought and won.

And that is certainly one way to look at the sequence of events, if you strip it down.

Which is…kind of the point. If you strip away all context and emotion, if you write it out like a logbook or an accounting…that’s what you get. At the base level of life and death, Semirhage attacked Rand and he killed her. So he won, didn’t he? That’s victory, isn’t it?

It is, in miniature, a perfect illustration of the whole concept that if Rand faces the Last Battle as he is now, victory and defeat will be indistinguishable. He has done to the idea of Tarmon Gai’don what ‘Rand al’Thor had fought and won’does to Chapter 22. Stripped it of all meaning, of all context, of all purpose and consequence, of anything but a body count.

It’s how he has forced himself to see things, over this long course of hardening himself against everything he fears he cannot endure if he is to reach the Last Battle. It’s how he himself would likely describe what just happened with Semirhage, because the rest doesn’t matter. It’s the cold, spare harshness of the Void, in which everything is stripped down so far as to become…meaningless. It’s the state of mind in which he could reach out and touch the True Power, Shai’tan’s power, the power of chaos and entropy and oblivion. Which is maybe an indication that this is Hashtag Not Good.

Rand al’Thor had fought and won.

And the thing is, it isn’t just Rand’s internal mindset that this highlights. The fact that we’re getting this through Aviendha also shows something of how things can look so different from the outside, and thus how much of this is internal. Or, how much the internal actually matters.

His fight had left him scarred in ways she did not yet understand.

Aviendha can feel this and even if she can’t understand the exact nature of those scars, she can understand that they exist, that there is pain and that something is wrong. Whereas the rest of the world… the world doesn’t see Rand as human, really, and Rand no longer even sees himself as human, and it’s so easy to let that spiral.

Aviendha had raised the alarm, but not quickly enough. She had tohto him for her mistake

Oh Aviendha. Nothing you could have done would have changed it, I don’t think. This was a long time coming, in one form or another.

“Rand al’Thor will deal with his problems,” she said, dripping more water.

“How can you say that?” Min asked, glancing at her. “Can’t you feel his pain?”

“I feel each and every moment of it,” Aviendha said through gritted teeth. “But he must face his own trials, just as I face mine.”

I’m maybe with Aviendha on this one. At some point, some of it is going to have to come from Rand. He is at war with himself, and has been for, oh, eight or nine books now at least, and while Min and Aviendha and others are there for him, and can try to help him, they can’t do it for him; at some point it’s going to come down to him. To accept that help or not. To trust or not. To let himself feel things that hurt, or to shut them away. To fight himself or to accept who and what he is.

“You are not what I expected,” Min finally said.

“I have deceived you?” Aviendha said, frowning.

“No, not that,” Min said with a small laugh. “I mean, I was wrong about you, I guess. I wasn’t certain what to think, after that night in Caemlyn when…well, that night when we bonded Rand together. I feel close to you, yet distant from you at the same time.” She shrugged. “I guess I expected you to come looking for me the moment you got into camp. We had things to discuss. When you didn’t, I worried. I thought perhaps I had offended you.”

“You have no toh to me,” Aviendha said.

“Good,” Min said. “I still worry sometimes that we’ll…come to a confrontation.”

“And what good would a confrontation serve?”

“I don’t know,” Min said with a shrug. “I figured it would be the Aiel way. Challenge me to a fight of honour. For him.”

Aviendha snorted. “Fight over a man?”

Who needs love triangles when you can have honest adult conversations? I like this because it provides a contrast to the rapid friendship between Aviendha and Elayne (or Elayne and Min) without going the ‘they hate each other because women who like the same man must despise each other on principle’ route. Min and Aviendha are still strangers in many ways, and they’re still not entirely sure what to make of each other, and so…that’s what you get. It isn’t pushed towards an extreme, or played up for drama, it’s just…something they both know needs to be addressed at some point, and so they talk to each other about it. And maybe they won’t resolve everything right away, but they also aren’t going to be at each other’s throats about this. What a miracle.

“What honour would there be to be gained in fighting one with no skill?” Min flushed, as if Aviendha had offered her an insult. What a curious reaction.

They also come from very different backgrounds, and without an immediate or near-immediate friendship to help smooth some of that over, it’s going to be another thing that they have to learn to work around. But again, while Min may feel insulted and Aviendha may not understand (much like how Aviendha felt somewhat insulted or shamed by Min talking to her while she’s serving a humiliating punishment), it doesn’t turn into some kind of catfight.

It’s nice to see.

It’s one of the ways in which WoT benefits simply from having such a large cast of female characters; by numbers alone it allows for more kinds of relationships and interactions between women, so that any one dynamic doesn’t bear all the weight. That then allows for so much more freedom in writing relationships between characters that are simply true to the characters. Some of those relationships are friendly, some are antagonistic, some are neutral, and because they’re all different none of them feel like a (deliberate or accidental) generalisation.

“I would not fight with you unless you gave me grave insult. My first-sister considers you a friend, and I would like to do so as well.”

“All right,” Min said, folding her arms and looking back at Rand. “Well, I guess that’s a good thing. I have to admit, I don’t much like the idea of sharing.”

Aviendha hesitated, then dipped her finger into the pail. “Neither do I.” At least, she didn’t like the idea of sharing with a woman she didn’t know very well.

“Then what do we do?”

“We continue as we have.”

And that’s that. There are other things going on, and there isn’t really a whole lot else that can be done about this right now. But they’ve both been upfront about where they stand, and they’re more or less on the same page, and YOU GUYS IT’S JUST SO GOOD TO SEE CHARACTERS GET TO ACT LIKE ADULTS IN SITUATIONS LIKE THIS.

Anyway.

Oh, Aviendha is pissed off. Not at Min; Min mentioned the water thing in parting but that seems almost to have been a catalyst more than anything else. Aviendha is just fucking done.

She stalked up to the Wise Ones, fuming.

FINALLY.

“Not learning quickly enough?” Aviendha demanded. “I have learned everything you have asked of me! I have memorised every lesson, repeated every fact, performed every duty. I have answered all your questions and have seen you nod in approval at each answer!”

Forget written exams, any system in which graduation is determined by stalking up to your instructors and telling them to get fucked is clearly the way to go.

“I have left behind the spears, and I welcome my place among you.”

Joking aside, this reminds me of the scene from the Rhuidean sequence: “I am Aiel!” There’s very little in common between the two scenes, except for the fierce affirmation of identity, but that’s what stands out. Self-declaration and self-determination are an important part of who they are.

“Child,” Amys said, meeting her eyes. “Are you rejecting our punishments?” “Yes,” she said, heart thumping. “I am.”

It’s a testament to how well-constructed the Aiel are as a fictional culture that this feels absolutely right. It doesn’t seem to come out of nowhere, and not just because it’s been foreshadowed recently but because it fits seamlessly with what we’ve learned about the Aiel over the last several books, as they’ve gone from mysterious unknown outsiders to a familiar nuanced culture.

“I am ready to join you.”

She gritted her teeth, waiting for an explosion of furious incredulity. What was she thinking? She shouldn’t have let Min’s foolish talk rile her so. And then Bair started to laugh. […] Amys’s expression was uncharacteristically soft. “Welcome, sister,” she said to Aviendha.

Aviendha blinked. “What?”

“You are one of us now, girl!” Bair said. “Or soon will be.”

“But I defied you!”

Or you asserted yourself. It’s all a matter of perspective. I like the way this rewards ambition and self-confidence. Also it’s kind of a sweet scene, even if Amys’s relationship to Aviendha is now rather complicated: she’s Aviendha’s mother by ceremony, and now sister by vocation…

“But there is rank among Wise Ones,” Aviendha said. “Is there not?”

“Rank?” Amys looked puzzled. “Some of us have more honour than others, earned by wisdom, actions, and experience.”

It’s set up as a contrast to the Aes Sedai’s system of rank-by-power or the Kin’s rank-by-age, but I have to wonder how well this would actually work in any kind of emergency situation. I suppose they do acknowledge certain informal ranks amongst themselves; they’ll all defer to Sorilea, and most will defer to Amys, and so on…and if they do not by tradition take part in combat (or didn’t) then it’s less of an issue because conflicts can be resolved through discussion. And honour is a much less abstract quality to the Aiel than it is to others. And to be fair, there are going to be problems with pretty much any system of rank, because people, so okay.

“A punishment is not a true punishment unless you accept it, Aviendha”

Alright, Eleanor Roosevelt. But once again it’s a philosophy that fits well with what we’ve learned of Aiel culture. Punishment and honour are tied closely together, and while they’re codified in some ways, there is also a great deal of choiceinvolved in both. How to meet toh. What your honour is worth. Who you are.

And so this was not about punishment, but about Aviendha needing to change her own self-perception. To see herself as a Wise One because she believes herself to be, because she believes she has earned it, not because they’ve told her she has. She has to accept this as her identity before anyone else can accept it. It’s internal before it can be external.

“Oh, she’s still a girl,” Bair said. “Until one more thing is done.”

Wait…

What would have happened if Min hadn’t riled her? She would have to thank the woman, although Min didn’t realise what she’d done.

That’s weirdly sweet. And again, rather…mature, I suppose, to acknowledge the help Min has given her, even if it was entirely unintentional. It’s something a lot of people struggle with.

“What must I still do?” Aviendha asked.

“Rhuidean,” Bair said.

WHAT.

ARE YOU—

IS THIS—

ARE YOU SERIOUS. RHUIDEAN.

I mean…I should not be surprised? This is the final step in becoming a Wise One, and the tradition for clan chief hasn’t changed so why would this, but at the same time I was WHOLLY UNPREPARED FOR THIS IN EVERY WAY.

Even though we’ve already seen the history of the Aiel, and Aviendha already knows it.

So it probably won’t take place on-screen, because while I would gladly just reread those two chapters I think publishers might disagree, but I hope we get something. Even just a reaction gif.

Also because it would be so different, to see that history through the eyes of one actually born and raised among the Aiel. It’s known to all of them now, but even so…for someone like Aviendha to watch some of those scenes play out, to see the truth of their origins and their honour…

I’m sure you will all be surprised to see that yes, I am once again Emotionally Compromised by Rhuidean.

“Things will be different, now,” Melaine said. “Rhuidean is no longer what it once was.”

YOU SHUT THE HELL UP.

“We will turn our backs on you now, Aviendha. We will not see you again until you return to us as a sister returning from a long journey.”

“A sister we had forgotten that we knew.”

HELP ME. SHE’S GOING TO RHUIDEAN AND I’m fine, this is fine, everything is fine.

I know, I know, that it makes no actual sense to show her journey through the glass columns, and that either something will go horribly wrong or else we’ll just cut-scene to when she comes out or returns to the Wise Ones, but. I want it anyway.

“I suggest Travelling to Cold Rocks Hold and walking from there. You must spend time in the Three-fold Land to contemplate your journey.”

Okay, that’s promising. Maybe we don’t see her go through the columns but we see her thinking over her people and their history and their uncertain future as she walks to the city that for so long stood empty, holding the secret heart and truth of who they are, and now is an oasis in the desert, open to all, no longer shrouded, no longer hidden. A walk of contemplation through the land that has been theirs for all living memory but is only a part of their exodus, a walk through history until she reaches the glass columns and sees the full truth of the history she has come to know through rumour and proclamation. It wouldn’t be a surprise that she then has to come to terms with, the way it once was for other new Wise Ones, but instead would be a way of gaining…certainty? Or of answering questions and affirming truths. It would become something of a bookend rather than an opening – she knows the history now, and so then this is the final step in seeing it in full and accepting it, so that now she can help them move on. Or something.

Listen. Let’s be honest here. If Rhuidean is involved I don’t even care about the specifics of how it’s given to me I just WANT IT.

That’s a lie, I do care. I care way too much.

HELP.

“Remember this time and the shame you felt, for it is the shame any da’tsangwill know, should you consign them to their fate. And they cannot escape it simply by demanding release.”

That’s an excellent lesson, and an important one. It’s empathy, really, which is often…underrated in positions of power.

Ah, so that’s how Sevanna ended up a Wise One. Every system has its flaws, after all.

“Once you reach Rhuidean, travel to the centre of the city. You will find the pillars of glass. Pass through the centre of them, then return here.”

There is no reason at all for me to quote this, I just…needed to.

“Spend well your days running to the city. We pushed you hard so that you would have this time for contemplation. It is likely the last you will have for some while.”

Aviendha nodded. “The battle comes.”

The calm before the storm, except it’s…more than that. I’m trying to figure out exactly how to phrase what I like about this. It’s the idea not just of pausing to breathe before everything explodes, but of taking time to think. Taking time for quiet contemplation. And it’s more than that; there’s a layering here of…they’re approaching the Last Battle, the end of an Age, something that will force the world from now into what comes next. Soon it will be about surviving the present and saving the future, but these last few days, this last time for contemplation, is then about the past. About going backto the Three-fold Land, about spending time there to think, about walking back through the history of her people and thinking on that. It’s a…grounding, an anchoring. A focus on identity and origin. A farewell, perhaps, but also a remembrance.

“Go,” Amys said, “and return.” She put emphasis on the final word. Some women did not survive Rhuidean.

But it’s also a variation on “forward. And back in time.” It’s the push-pull of who they were and who they are, of going back at this moment when they prepare to face the coming battle.

Also…okay bear with me here because we’re going on a semantic adventure. First of all, there’s a double-meaning in ‘go and return’ because ‘go to Rhuidean, and return to our past’. But the way ‘go’ and ‘return’ are emphasised, and the places they refer to, are also interesting here. ‘Go’ is ‘leave’ is ‘from here, to elsewhere’; but ‘return’ implies…home. It implies the status quo. She must goin order to get to Rhiudean, to get to the Three-fold Land, which was once the home of the Aiel…but from that home she must return. To here, to the wetlands, to this place in space and time and identity where the Aiel now are, because that place has changed. The Aiel have changed.

She has to go back to see what they once were – not just through the glass columns, but now the Three-fold Land is a part of that past; even the trip to Rhuidean is a part of that past. As Melaine said, Rhuidean is no longer what it once was. That’s the first step in the history now, even if it is outside of the ter’angreal. And then she must return, not just from the columns, or to Chaendaer, or to her own hold, but to where the Aiel are. To who the Aiel have become. She has to see their full history, and they have taken their next step now; a new scene has been written.

All of that makes perfect sense in my head I swear.

From Wise Ones to Aes Sedai. Appropriate, I suppose, especially as we’re starting off with Shemerin.

Shemerin, who was demoted to Accepted and the change stuck because, according to Silviana, Shemerin allowed it to. She believed it, accepted it herself, and did not fight it or claim her place as Aes Sedai. She let her status be defined by someone else and could not stand up for herself against it. So it’s pretty much an exact inversion of what we just saw Aviendha do. I See What You Did There.

Romanda had not forgotten Siuan’s crafty nature, even if so many others in camp seemed to have done so. Lesser strength in the Power did not mean decreased capacity for scheming.

Except you still fell for it, Romanda. Hook, line, and sinker, as Siuan might say.

Sheriam had been withdrawn lately, and barely maintained the dignity of an Aes Sedai. Foolish woman. She needed to be removed from her place; everyone could see that.

Romanda’s on a roll here with expelling or trying to expel Black Ajah. Even if in this case she has no idea.

Romanda had rarely seen a woman as determined to punish herself as this poor child.

Not a child, Romanda thought. A full Aes Sedai, whatever she says.

Yeah, Shemerin is a rather perfect foil for Aviendha in this specific moment.

“You are Aes Sedai,” Romanda said, trying to keep the edge out of her voice.

Being told she is Aes Sedai, rather than claiming the title for herself. And because it does not come from her, she does not believe it. She sees herself as Accepted – as an apprentice – regardless of what status she was once accorded, or should still have. It comes back to identity, to how you see yourself. Shemerin accepts her punishments and her given status; Aviendha decided not to anymore.

“Tell me about this watergate,” Siuan said

Well, Siuan, Watergate is the name of a hotel that has become synonymous with political scandal ever since—oh, not that watergate. Gotcha.

“Where would we find it?”

You had better not be contemplating a rescue mission, Siuan.

“How is it that Elaida could think that demoting a sister was wise?”

You’ll be happier just…not thinking too hard on questions like that, Magla. All you’re going to do is give yourself a headache. Elaida decided wisdom was a dump stat and we’re all living with the consequences.

Something small was creeping beneath the canvas floor of the tent, moving from one corner toward the centre of the room.

Um? I can’t think what that could be but I doubt it’s anything good.

“You didn’t plot against her? You didn’t contradict her?”

Shemerin shook her head. “I was loyal.”

Good thing that’s in the past tense, though Shemerin’s still referring to Elaida as ‘the Amyrlin’. Still, the rebels have needed something like this – firsthand accounts of all the fresh steaming bullshit happening in the Tower on Elaida’s watch. They’ve had Egwene in Tel’aran’rhiod up until recently, of course, but it’s different when it’s coming from those who were on Elaida’s side.

“I suspect she used poor Shemerin as an example, acclimating the White Tower to the concept of demotion. That will let her use it on those who are actually her enemies.”

Repeat after me: THIS IS NOT NORMAL.

Man, some of this feels so very…relevant.

The conversation hit a lull. The Sitters who supported Egwene would likely head the list of those to be demoted, if Elaida retained her power and the Aes Sedai reconciled.

Excellent: a perfect selfish reason for them to make sure that doesn’t happen. That’s not even sarcasm; it’s a good way to keep them motivated to achieve what they came here to achieve. They could just toss Egwene to Elaida as a scapegoat and reconcile with her – and the more time that passes, especially without Egwene able to communicate with them, the more appealing an option that becomes. But it becomes far less of an option if they know they’d go down with her.

Oh cool it’s a giant cockroach. Yum.

Nope, lotsof giant cockroaches.

I had a good laugh at the image of the Warders standing there with their swords drawn, ready to face the threat, and just looking at the flood of cockroaches like ‘…I do not get paid enough for this’.

“Is there anything in the tent that is dear to you?” Lelaine asked, looking back at the tent.

Why Lelaine, I’m surprised you care! It’s an almost sweet moment; the two of them momentarily united against a greater – or in this case at least more disturbing – enemy. Which, I suppose, is precisely the point. They’re not enemies; they should be helping one another and working together against the Shadow, rather than spending their time and energy trying to outmanoeuvre one another.

Romanda spared a thought for her journal, but knew that she’d never be able to touch those pages after her tent had been infested this way. “Nothing that I’d care to keep now,” she said, weaving Fire. “And nothing I can’t replace.”

It’s a good attitude to have, especially as they all stand at the brink of a battle that will change quite possibly everything.

And it’s even another small link back to the previous scene, with Aviendha. A slight inversion, perhaps, but again the issue of looking back, of the past and letting it go or remembering it, moving forward.

Romanda thought she heard the insects popping and sizzling inside.

Mmmmm, dinner.

Light, she thought. Egwene is right. It is coming. Fast.

[…]

The Tower needed to be whole. Whatever it took. Would she be willing to bow before Elaida to make that happen? Would she put on an Accepted dress again if it would bring unity for the Last Battle?

She couldn’t decide.

It’s not an easy choice, in part because the question isn’t simply unity but what sortof unity. And whether there can be unity at all under Elaida, after she has already split the Tower and then shattered her half of it.

It’s not an easy choice because, in Romanda’s position, there’s no way to know. There’s no way to know if Egwene will prevail, and if she’ll be able to heal the Tower in time. There’s no way to know if Elaida would be able to hold them together, or if she might at least be better than nothing.

And there are the questions of pride and identity and selfishness, and Romanda acknowledges those, too.

There is no time left, and they have to make some of these decisions now; they have to put so much behind them and let go of so much, and move forward, but there’s not necessarily any way to know which path will be the right one. They just have to choose, and hope they choose correctly.

Next (TGS ch 27)

Previous (TGS ch 25)

#SHE'S GOING TO RHUIDEAN HELP ME #wheel of time #neuxue liveblogs WoT #The Gathering Storm

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This course is highly practical but it won't neglect the theory, so we'll start with covering some basics about ethical hacking and python programming, installing the needed software and then we'll dive and start programming straight away. From here onwards you'll learn everything by example, by writing useful hacking programs, so we'll never have any boring dry programming lectures. The course is divided into a number of sections each aims to achieve a specific goal, the goal is usually to hack into a certain system, so we'll start by learning how this system work, the weaknesses of this system, and then you'll lean how to write a python program to exploit these weaknesses and hack the system, as we write the program I will teach you python programming from scratch covering one topic at a time, so by the end of the course you're going to have a number of ethical hacking programs written by yourself (see below) from backdoors, keyloggers, credential harvesters, network hacking tools, website hacking tools and the list goes on, not only that but you'll also have a deep understanding on how computer systems work, how to model problems, design an algorithm to solve problems and implement the solution using python. As mentioned in this course you will learn both ethical hacking and programming at the same time, so here are some of the topics that will be covered in the course: Programming topics: Writing programs for python 2 and 3.Using modules and libraries.Variables, types ...etc.Handling user input.Reading and writing files.Functions.Loops.Data structures.Regex.Desiccation making.Recursion. Threading.Object oriented programming.Packet manipulation using scapy.Netfilterqueue.Socket programming.String manipulation.Exceptions.Serialisation.Compiling programs to binary executables.Sending & receiving HTTP requests.Parsing HTML.+ more! Hacking topics: Basics of network hacking / penetration testing.Changing MAC address & bypassing filtering.Network mapping.ARP Spoofing - redirect the flow of packets in a network.DNS Spoofing - Redirect requests from one website to another.Spying on any client connected to the network - see usernames, passwords, visited urls ....etc.Inject code in pages loaded by any computer connected to the same network.Replace files on the fly as they get downloaded by any computer on the same network.Detect ARP spoofing attacks.Bypass HTTPS.Create malware for Windows, OS X and Linux.Create trojans for Windows, OS X and Linux.Hack Windows, OS X and Linux using custom backdoor.Bypass Anti-Virus programs.Use fake login prompt to steal credentials.Display fake updates.Use own keylogger to spy on everything typed on a Windows or OS X computer.Learn the basics of website hacking / penetration testing.Discover subdomains.Discover hidden files and directories in a website.Run wordlist attacks to guess login information.Discover and exploit XSS vulnerabilities.Discover weaknesses in websites using own vulnerability scanner. Programs you'll build in this course: You'll learn all the above by implementing the following hacking programs mac_changer - changes MAC Address to anything we want.network_scanner - scans network and discovers the IP and MAC address of all connected clients.arp_spoofer - runs an arp spoofing attack to redirect the flow of packets in the network allowing us to intercept data.packet_sniffer - filters intercepted data and shows usernames, passwords, visited links ....etcdns_spoofer - redirects DNS requests, eg: redirects requests to from one domain to another.file_interceptor - replaces intercepted files with any file we want.code_injector - injects code in intercepted HTML pages.arpspoof_detector - detects ARP spoofing attacks.execute_command payload - executes a system command on the computer it gets executed on.execute_and_report payload - executes a system command and reports result via email.download_and_execute payload - downloads a file and executes it on target system.download_execute_and_report payload - downloads a file, executes it, and reports result by email.reverse_backdoor - gives remote control over the system it gets executed on, allows us toAccess file system.Execute system commands.Download & upload fileskeylogger - records key-strikes and sends them to us by email.crawler - discovers hidden paths on a target website.discover_subdomains - discovers subdomains on target website.spider - maps the whole target website and discovers all files, directories and links.guess_login - runs a wordlist attack to guess login information.vulnerability_scanner - scans a target website for weaknesses and produces a report with all findings. As you build the above you'll learn: Setting up a penetration testing lab to practice hacking safely.Installing Kali Linux and Windows as virtual machines inside ANY operating system.Linux Basics.Linux terminal basics.How networks work.How clients communicate in a network.Address Resolution Protocol - ARP.Network layers.Domain Name System - DNS.Hypertext Transfer Protocol - HTTP.HTTPS.How anti-virus programs work.Sockets.Connecting devices over TCP.Transferring data over TCP.How website work.GET & POST requests.And more! So by the end of the course you're going to have programming skills to write any program even if it has nothing to do with hacking, but you'll learn programming by programming hacking tools! With this course you'll get 24/7 support, so if you have any questions you can post them in the Q&A section and we'll respond to you within 15 hours. NOTE: This course is created for educational purposes only and all the attacks are launched in my own lab or against devices that I have permission to test. NOTE: This course is totally a product of Zaid Sabih and no other organisation is associated with it or a certification exam. Although, you will receive a Course Completion Certification from Udemy, apart from that NO OTHER ORGANISATION IS INVOLVED. Who this course is for: Anybody who is interested in learning Python programming Anybody who is interested in learning ethical hacking / penetration testing Who is the target audience? Anybody who is interested in learning Python programmingAnybody who is interested in learning ethical hacking / penetration testing Course content of Learn Python & Ethical Hacking From Scratch: Total Lecture:98 Introduction Teaser What is Programming, What is Hacking & Why Learn Them Lab Overview & Needed Software Installing Kali 2019 as a virtual Machine Basic Overview of Kali Linux The Terminal & Linux Commands Python 2 VS Python 3 & Writing Our First Program Installing & Using a Python IDE What is MAC Address & How To Change it Using Python Modules & Executing System Commands Implementing a Very Basic MAC Changer Variables & Strings Using Variables in MAC Changer Getting Input From The User Handling User Input Handling Command-line Arguments Initialising Variables Based on Command-line Arguments Functions Returning Values From Functions Decision Making - Theory Using Conditional Statements in MAC Changer What is an Algorithm Reading Output Returned By System Commands Regular Expressions (Regex) Extracting a Substring Using Regex Refactoring & Housekeeping Implementing The Algorithm to Check The Mac Did Change Introduction & Teaser Installing Windows as a Virtual Machine What is ARP & What its Used For? Designing an Algorithm To Discover Clients Connected To The Same Network Using Scapy To Create an ARP Request Combining Frames To Broadcast Packets Sending & Receiving Packets Lists Iterating Over Lists & Analysing Packet Using Escape Characters To Enhance Program Output Dictionaries Improving the Program Using a List of Dictionaries Iterating Over Nested Data Structures Get IP Range Using Command Line Arguments Python 3 Compatibility What is ARP Spoofing? Redirecting the Flow of Packets in a Network Using arpspoof Creating an ARP Response Sending ARP Responses Extracting MAC Address From Responses Loops More on Loops & Counters Dynamic Printing Handling Exceptions Implementing a Restore Function Restoring ARP Tables When an Exception Occures Introduction & Teaser Sniffing Packets Using Scapy Extracting data From a Specific Layer Analysing Sniffed Packets & Extracting Fields From Layers Analysing Fields & Extracting Passwords Extracting URLs Capturing Passwords From Any Computer Connected to the Same Network Intercepting Packets - Creating a Proxy Converting Packets to Scapy Packets What is DNS Spoofing Filtering DNS Responses Analysing & Creating a Custom DNS Response Modifying Packets On The Fly Redirecting DNS Responses Introduction & Teaser Filtering Traffic Based on the Port Used Analysing HTTP Requests Intercepting HTTP Requests Modifying HTTP Responses on The Fly Intercepting & Replacing Downloads on The Network Introduction & Teaser Analysing HTTP Responses Replacing a Substring Using Regex Decoding HTTP Responses Modifying HTTP Responses & Injecting Javascript Code in HTML Pages Refactoring & Housekeeping Debugging Issues Using Groups & None-capturing Regex Recalculating Content Length BeEF Overview & Basic Hook Method Hooking Computers Using code_injector Basic BeEF Commands Delivering Malware Using BeEF How to Bypass HTTPS Bypassing HTTPS & Sniffing Login Credentials Replacing Downloads on HTTPS Pages Injecting Code in HTTPS Pages 10 more sections Learn Python & Ethical Hacking From Scratch course Read the full article

#EthicalHacking #MACaddress #Programming #Python

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trentteti · 5 years

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A Look at the June 2019 LSAT

Two Fridays ago, LSAC released everyone’s scores for the June 2019 LSAT. Most people — the sane, well-adjusted people who take this test just as a means to go to law school — get the email, see their scores, react accordingly, and discard the other contents of the message. But other people — LSAT instructors, the decidedly less sane and well-adjusted — get really excited about those other contents. Because among those attachments are copies of the new LSAT. And LSAT instructors get really excited about new LSATs being released.

For one, even with the dramatic increase in the number of LSATs administered in each year, these score-and-LSAT-release days still fairly few and far between. The June score release going to be the last score release for a while; even though the July LSAT is next Monday, it’s going to take about two lunar cycles for the scores to finally come out. And, for our admittedly nerdy purposes, it’ll be even longer before the next LSAT is released. The next disclosed exam — the September 2019 test — won’t be released until mid-October. So these days feel ceremonious.

Two, the new exam gives us new material to work over, figure out, and prove we still have quote-unquote it. These opportunities to figure out games and passages and LR questions that test takers referenced with hushed and ominous tones post-exam are our continuous professional competency tests.

And three, these new exams give us an opportunity to monitor and assess ongoing trends the LSAT. Oh, were you not even aware that this test has trends that are in need of monitoring and assessment? That’s probably because you don’t nerd out over these exam releases like we do. Much like the griot of June 2019’s passage four, LSAT instructors are both the guardians of and mouthpieces to the history of this great test. We track changes to the test and sing songs write blogs about those change to hordes of future test takers.

So, excuse us as we nerd out over the June 2019 exam in this blog post. But we think this ensuing nerdgasm will be will be beneficial to you, too. You’ll see our thoughts, takeaways, and concerns about this test, and we’ll contextualize this exam within the recent history of the LSAT. And hopefully, this will give you a better idea of what to expect in future LSATs, whether you’re taking it July 15th, September 21st, or beyond.

So let’s breakdown each section.

Logical Reasoning

• Here’s how many of the different question types appeared across both LR sections:

• As you can see, it’s a fairly typical score distribution, with a few notable exceptions. One, after many tests where the LR sections de-emphasized questions that involved identifying formal aspects of the argument (Main Point and Role questions, namely), June test takers saw a sudden re-emphasis on those. We also a higher-than-normal of Disagree and Agree questions. In 2017, the LSAT went a little crazy with those questions, and then in 2018, they regressed to the mean. Is the relatively high number of those questions on this test an aberration, or a sign that LSAC will prominently feature Disagree questions every other testing year? Who knows, but the number of those questions vary significantly from test to test, so practice them a lot, just in case they show up in droves on your test.

• I predicted we would see a re-appearance of an old question format on this test, but that didn’t happen. In fact, there wasn’t anything terribly novel about these LR sections, other than the fact that both had twenty-six questions (which only happens occasionally).

If you were looking for novelty you had to settle for a question that had an unusual prompt. One question asked test takers to find the answer choice that “completes the explanation” begun in the stimulus. The stimulus started explaining why some people smoke way more nicotine products than others, and then it abruptly cut off, leaving the test taker with a blank line to fill in and complete the explanation. As far as I can remember, these “fill in the blank” questions have been exclusively Soft Must Be True, Strengthen, or Sufficient questions. This question, however, was clearly an Explain question.

It wasn’t terribly difficult, fortunately. Answering it just required you to realize the effect a rare form of the enzyme CYP2A6 had on nicotine cravings. One might say that rare form of CYP2A6 is the crown Juul of enzymes.

• On the whole, there weren’t a ton of truly difficult questions. There weren’t a ton of truly easy questions, either. Most questions fit somewhere in the middle. This comports with the eventual “curve” of this exam (more on this below). The curve was a little bit stingy for the high scores — you could miss fewer questions than usual to earn a high score. But the curve normalized for the middle-of-the-pack scores. This type of “curve” usually suggests that there were fewer difficult questions, and more medium question, than usual.

• In terms of the topics of these questions, we had some of the LSAT’s old favorites, like questions about predatory birds and their effect on insect populations, bicycle safety, mendacious politicians, and early human inhabitants of North America’s troubling habit of causing mass extinctions. So you could have crossed off all those on your LSAT bingo cards, kids. Shockingly, there were no questions about dinosaurs. There have been several recent questions about film critics and vampires, and we got more of those here. There was a question about how pilots on a diet might as well be two-drinks-in-the-bag-impaired, which I happened to read while on a plane captained by a very fit-looking pilot … so thanks for that burst of aerophobia, LSAT. And because the test writers seeming love to write “topical” questions — but since it takes a few years to write and test out questions — we got a question that was clearly inspired by “Fake News,” two years after that was a novel topic.

• Which was the hardest question here? There weren’t that many candidates. But one that springs to mind is a Strengthen question from the fifth section. That question went with a big theme common to many Great American novels and Real American Housewife music videos: that money can’t buy a great many things, including happiness. In fact, this question went a step further — taking a page from Diana Ross c/o Faith Evans, it claimed that money actually generates new wants that can’t be fulfilled, so money actually makes people less happy. There’s a pretty clear causal claim to strengthen — the idea that unfulfilled desires actually cause people to be less happy. The correct answer does that by showing that the fewer unfulfilled desires one has, the happier that person will be. That’s a dictionary-definition instance of “no cause, no effect.”

That was all fairly normal for a Strengthen question. There was one answer choice that was very difficult to eliminate, though. One answer preyed upon an aside in the argument, which said that wealth does fulfill some desires. This pesky answer choice said, “Oneʼs happiness tends not to increase each time a desire is satisfied.” Which would strengthen the argument if the argument actually claimed that money wouldn’t increase happiness. But remember, the argument said that money would decrease happiness. Satisfying new desires might fail to increase your happiness, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to be less happy. The distinction between not increasing and decreasing, or between not decreasing and increasing is one that gets tested fairly often on the LSAT, so watch out for it.

• Looking ahead to future LR sections, what can be gleaned from these sections? For one, this section reaffirms that Strengthen questions are the most important question type in LR. The number of other common question types — Soft Must Be True questions, Flaw questions, Necessary questions — have actually gone down on recent tests. Strengthen questions have only increased their prominence. So get a ton of practice with those.

Diagramming conditional statements continues to be a fairly important skill — eight questions on this section were diagrammable. However, these diagrammable questions were not very complex, which has been par for the course on recent tests. So make sure you know which words indicate sufficiency and which indicate necessity, and make sure you know the basic deductions you can make with conditional statements. You probably won’t need more than that, though.

Reading Comprehension

• Everyone who took the June exam hated the Reading Comprehension section, and having read these passages, I get it. It was rough. That shouldn’t be surprising though — Reading Comp has regularly been the most the difficult section on recent LSATs. What was a little surprising to me, though, was why these set of passages were difficult.

Most tough passages are difficult because the passages themselves are hard to comprehend. Anyone studying for the LSAT knows the feeling — a passage is about some scientific phenomenon you either didn’t know occurred or assumed operated by luck or magic, and as a result you’re only dimly aware of what you’re reading.

These passage, however, weren’t too hard to understand (this is, of course, by the LSAT’s standards, where everything is fairly difficult to comprehend, including why you ever signed up to take this test). The questions were a nightmare though. These questions were rife with all kinds of trap answer choices. Many questions tested incredibly picayune details from the passages. Certain correct answers were, in my opinion, not well-supported by the passage. In short, this would have been a particularly frustrating RC section to take.

• The most annoying passage, I thought, was the passage on the use of “accomplice witnesses” (AKA snitches) in criminal trials. The fact that literally no one referred to this as the “snitches” passages post-exam confirms my belief that kids today are nerds who lack appreciation for the finer purveyors of early-aughts rap. Anyway, this passage had a straightforward enough thesis — that the use of “accomplice witnesses” poses problems for criminal trials, because jurors are either unaware of the incentives law enforcement offers such witness or unlikely to consider those incentives when assessing the witnesses’ testimony.

So I thought I understood the passage. Not only that, but this is a subject I studied and have first-hand experience with. Then I got to the main point question, and thought every answer choice was wrong. The correct answer choice made an assertion — that this testimony increases the likelihood that a defendant may be convicted by false testimony — that the passage simply never made, only sort of implied. I had major issues with that answer choice, and a few others on that passage. Good thing this passage wasn’t on the digital LSAT — it may have provoked many a test taker to hurl the tablet across the room.

• There was also an irksome passage about fish farms. That passage argued that fish farms can be the cause of and solution to the overfishing problem, much in the same way that alcohol is the cause of and solution to life’s problems. That passage had eight very detail-oriented questions, which would have taken an eternity to answer on the test. The fact that it was second passage — typically one of the easier passages — was also fairly, well, fishy.

• Rest assured, the annoying features of those two passages aren’t typical of recent LSATs. Most passages test big-picture ideas and details in about equal proportion — unlike the fish farm passage. And the right answers to pretty much every recent question are very well-supported by the passage, as long as you know where to look. Although I would anticipate any LSAT this year to have a difficult Reading Comp section, I don’t think any will be this annoyingly difficult.

Logic Games

• On the whole, the Logic Games section was relatively mild, as far as these things go. The second game, about scheduling commercials for fast food, pizza, sportswear, trucks, and, inexplicably, granola — Seriously, who invited granola? Who has ever seen a granola commercial, for that matter? — was particularly unchallenging. The third game, a tiered ordering game that involved arranging both oil and watercolor paintings, was also fairly straightforward. The third game was also, by my count, the fourth time the test writers returned to the concept of oil and watercolor paintings in a logic game. So that was at least familiar, as well.

• The thing that linked all these games was “scenarios.” I thought scenarios were helpful and time-saving on all four games on this section. This is nothing new or novel on recent LSATs. On the September and November 2018 exams, I also thought you should make scenarios on all four of the games. On June 2018, all but one. On December 2017, all.

This isn’t just some random hobby horse of mine (OK it’s not just a random hobby horse of mine), but reflects how newer games distinguish themselves from older games. On older games, when scenarios were useful less frequently, you’d typically get a laundry list of rules, which would severely constrain your players and lead to important deductions. To find these deductions, you really just had to pay attention to elements that showed up in more than one rule.

On almost all recent games, however, there are fewer rules and, with that, fewer elements that show up in more than one rule. Because there are fewer rules to follow, the games appear much more open-ended and unconstrained. To figure out how these games work and to get a little head start on the questions, it’s become increasingly important to figure out a way to divide the game into a few different “scenarios” — the few ways the game could actually shake out. Doing so usually involves constraining one or more part of your set-up, which leads to some important deductions in each scenario that would be exceedingly difficult to make without resorting to scenarios.

So if you’re taking the LSAT this year, it’s very important that practice figuring out when and how to make scenarios. If you’re not developing this skill, you’re preparing for a different set of logic games than the one you’re probably going to get.

• The last game was, unsurprisingly, the hardest. It involved finding people to volunteer for a charity booth on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, three volunteers per day. We had only five potential volunteers to draw from, which means that several of our volunteers would have to pull double-duty and work on more than one day. Thankfully, for the hypothetical work-life balance of these players, a rule prevented anyone from working on all three days.

This game was hard for a couple reasons. First, games that involve scheduling, especially ones that invoke the days of the week, are basically always ordering games. This game, which invoked days of the week, by all rights, should have been an ordering game. This issue comes up a lot when working games out with people studying for the test, and it has occasionally led me to make sweaty exhortations on this blog that games that “SCHEDULING IS ORDERING” (emphasis obviously mine, now and then). Except this particular wasn’t an ordering game. There weren’t any rules that involved any volunteer going the “day after” or the in the “days before” any other volunteer. This game was better classified as a grouping game, an exception to the rule that “days of the week = ordering.” However, you would have been fine even if you set up this game as an ordering game, so you can hold your educational malpractice suits for now.

The main reason this game was difficult was the deduction test takers were required to make. As far as difficult deductions go, I have to say I quite enjoyed this one (and with that statement, I’ll kindly see myself into this locker, good sir). Anyway, one rule claimed that if one volunteer, Morse, worked on a day, then another volunteer, Lentz, would also have to work on that day. The contrapositive of that rule meant that if Lentz didn’t work on a day, then Morse couldn’t work on the day either. But, since we only had five volunteers to fill three positions each day, that would mean the other three volunteers — Nuñez, Pang, and Quinn — would have to volunteer on any day Lentz didn’t. Plus, because Lentz couldn’t work all three days, there had to be at least one day they weren’t working, and at least one day the mighty Nuñez-Pang-Quinn triumvirate worked. Another rule made it so that the Nuñez-Pang-Quinn squad couldn’t work on Saturday, so that game divided into two nice scenarios — one where they worked Thursday, and another where they worked Friday.

So, basically this deduction came down to realizing that once two people couldn’t volunteer on a given day, the remaining three would have to volunteer on that day. These kinds of deduction, based on group sizes and the limited number of players to fill those groups, have been a theme of many recent games. The first game of the November 2018 LSAT, the fourth game on the June 2018 LSAT, the first game of the December 2017 LSAT, and the fourth game of the June 2017 LSAT all required similar deductions. It wouldn’t surprise me, then, if similar deductions were required on more LG sections this year. Make sure, then, you’re tracking which players can’t join certain groups by actually writing out that they can’t join that group in your set-up, and then check your list of players to verify who actually could join that group. Also pay attention to “can’t be together” or “hate” grouping relationships, which further restrict who can join groups.

The Curve

• Here’s the “curve” for this exam — as in, the number of questions you could miss and still earn a given score — compared to the curves of other recent tests:

• In previous posts, we’ve discussed why worrying about the curve before you take a test is mostly a waste of time and energy, but checking out the curve after the test is released can provide a somewhat objective measure of how “difficult” that exam is.

Essentially, if you can miss a lot of questions you miss and still earn a “high” score, that suggests a high percentage of the questions were “difficult” questions, or the difficult parts of the test were more difficult than usual. If you can miss more questions and still earn a “medium” score, that suggests a high percentage of the questions were “medium difficulty” questions, or the “medium difficulty” parts of the test were a little more difficult than usual.

• This curve definitely reflects my experience reviewing this exam. Nothing was incredibly difficult. And there weren’t more difficult parts of the exam than usual — one hard game and a couple difficult passages is pretty much the norm on recent exams. So it makes sense that we didn’t get a -11 or -12 curve for a 170, or a -20 curve for a 165. But there were a lot of medium-difficulty questions on this test, especially on Logical Reasoning. So it makes sense that the curve got a little more generous at 160, 155, and 150.

• You should also notice that, putting the very difficult December 2017 exam aside for the moment, the curves of all the recent exams have been virtually identical, give or take a question. More reason to not fret about the curve of any future exam! It will almost certainly look like one of these.

What to Expect Moving Forward

If you made it this point, congrats! These posts are always mammoth undertakings, because each exam provides a lot of material to discuss. But, for making it to the end, you get a reward. This is the point where we uncover our crystal ball and try to divine what future LSATs might look like, and tell you how to best prepare for them.

This exam was definitely representative of trends we’ve been seeing over the LSAT, and would make a fine practice exam to take in the weeks before any LSAT you may take this year. It followed many recent trends, like an increased prevalence of Strengthen questions, more straightforward “diagramming” questions, a very difficult Reading Comp section, and a lot of scenario-based logic games. If you want to be best prepared for any LSAT you’ll take this year, the June 2019 test, in addition to the last few years of published LSATs, provides ample evidence that you should focus on developing those skills.

A Look at the June 2019 LSAT was originally published on LSAT Blog

#June 2019 LSAT #LSAT #LSAT Trends #trent teti #lsat

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neetu-uplifts · 5 years

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Growth mindset: Part 2

**Disclaimer: This post is kind of long but I think/hope worth the read!**

In part two of my debrief on Carol Dweck’s Mindset, I’d like to back-up and define the core principles of mindset, as Dweck explains them. She looks at mindset as being growth-oriented or fixed. P.S. the diagram below (created by Nigel Holmes) is located on p.263 of the book.

An individual operating with a fixed mindset sees their abilities and talents as ascribed or “set in stone”. Either they can do something or they can’t. It’s pretty black and white. For example, an adult who has always been good at math begins to see themselves as naturally talented at math because they don’t have to work at it and it’s seen as something they’re effortlessly gifted in. They likely grew up hearing “you’re so smart!” or “Math genius!” and this became part of their identity. Picture that Calculus rock star who never studied but always aced the exams – and prided themselves on it. This person’s worst nightmare would be failing in a math test. Not only would their talent be questioned (a hindrance to their image), but also, their sense of self, which is largely defined by them being a math genius would be shattered and they would be left deflated and lost. The fixed mindset is not very adaptive as it doesn’t do well with change, especially any change where challenge exists and a victory isn’t guaranteed. Growth mindset, on the other hand, is “based on the belief in change” (p.223) - constantly learning and growing our abilities to develop ourselves. If a fixed mindset is content in being a masterpiece, a growth mindset is happy with being an ongoing work in progress. In a world of constant flux, the growth mindset is our best friend. Since nothing ever stays the same and life is a constantly changing journey, adopting a growth mindset allows us to be adaptive and enjoy the inevitable change of tide life brings. In this sense, a growth mindset can be considered a “fluid” mindset. Adopting a fluid mindset unleashes us to continuously grow and redefine our skills, knowledge and contributions. Internal change aligns with external change.

In reading about growth versus fixed mindsets, I found it really interesting how ego intersects with both. The ego is quite predominant in the case of a fixed mindset. A fixed mindset is all about protecting your image amongst others – failure being its greatest kryptonite. A fixed mindset lacks resilience in the face of inevitable setbacks and rejection - and even how we view/internalize these setbacks – instead of being seen as learning opportunities, they are viewed as signs of our defects. Ultimately, a fixed mindset is about establishing superiority, a key element of ego. The ego reinforces and validates itself through a hierarchy of those who are more than or less than “ME”, in every possible criterion. As Dweck says: “in the fixed mindset, effort is not a cause for pride. It is something that casts doubt on your talent.” (p.99) to be better than others without having to really try is the foundation for a fixed mindset. [SIGH].

……[Breathing in some fresh air], a growth mindset is ALL about effort. Nothing great was ever achieved easily. It’s about seeing ourselves and others as developing individuals, constant works in progress. Our traits and skills are not fixed, which is liberating and exciting because it’s about seeing our potential as limitless, and realizing that anything worth having requires real effort and hard work (not inherent talent). Dweck emphasizes it’s not just the conceptual belief in this idea, but very much about walking the talk. Having a growth mindset means being action-oriented – it’s about the deeds we carry out to try, fail, get back up, try some more, learn, pivot and lean in. It doesn’t matter what your skill level is today, the growth mindset believes that with enough effort and perseverance, you can become great at anything if you really want it. What’s the role of ego in this arena? The ego takes a back seat with a growth mindset because it doesn’t matter who is watching us try, fail, try and fail again – it’s not about establishing or protecting an image. It’s about IMPROVING (learning/growth) ourselves not PROVING ourselves (ego). So much to improve. Nothing to prove. I love that!

Inherently, the growth mindset is freeing because it means we’re all in this messy, non-linear journey together, climbing, falling, scraping our knees and turning to each other to learn and keep going. Dweck’s book appealed to me for several different reasons but this point right here hit home on a deep level. I love that we are all free to constantly reinvent ourselves. I have no interest in being the same person I was 6 years or 6 months ago. I love that in my entire lifetime, I will have had 5-10+ different career paths. Stagnation is death to me. I want to grow, improve, burst, change, break apart and bloom again. The growth mindset is exactly that – being a lifelong passionate learner who doesn’t settle in and get cozy but rather is willing to take risks, be vulnerable, check the ego, fail and try again and again (and again) because the end goal is to have learned and grown, not to “look” good and protect a certain image of oneself. Growing up in an Indian culture that is gravely obsessed with what other people think and “keeping face” in the Indian community, I detest the idea of living my life for others. What a sad existence that is. To be in a job, a marriage, an outfit or lifestyle because it’s the “proper good Indian girl thing to do”. Most of my arguments with my Mom to-date are about challenging her “what will people think” commentary. My Mom is amazing but I recognize and appreciate that she was socialized to care about protecting an image in a way that I (thankfully) never will.

Dweck does a great job of exploring the growth mindset in different areas of our lives from leadership, coaching, relationships and even parenting. Several years ago, I was visiting a startup incubator that NYU ran for students. I remember seeing the quote below on the wall:

I feel like this quote speaks to the growth mindset, which is about welcoming challenges and being curious about and learning from the adversity we face. “I’d like to share a few key points from Dweck on leadership and relationships that further elaborate this point.

Dweck explains that the most effective leaders learn from everyone around them. They “surround themselves with the most able people they can find, and they look squarely at their own mistakes and deficiencies, and they ask frankly what skills they need” they operate on “facts and not fantasies about their talent” (p.110). Growth is important but it’s not easy. It’s hard to not be good at something but that’s where the real test comes in of checking our egos and changing our perspective to focus on the WHY (purpose) and the HOW (process) and not the WHAT (end result). Jack Welch, the infamous former CEO of GE, talks about his journey of personal growth from the fixed (me, me, me) elitism mindset to a growth (we) mindset. In reflecting on a time when he was “too full of himself”, Welch came to learn that “true self-confidence is the courage to be open - to welcome change and new ideas regardless of their source” (p.127). Dweck adds: “Real self-confidence is not reflected in a title, an expensive suit, a fancy car, or a series of acquisitions. It is reflected in your mindset: your readiness to grow” (p.127).

In her chapter on relationships, Dweck insists that “a no effort relationship is a doomed relationship, not a great relationship” (p.155). Sometimes we can get caught up in the “if it’s meant to be, it shouldn’t be hard” mentality. That’s the fixed mindset operating. Being surrounded by younger married couples, I often see how friends or family can get annoyed with certain habits of their spouse. But, according to Dweck, thinking: “my partner is incapable of change” (p.159) is very much a fixed mindset. Of course the partner needs to want to change themselves (it can’t be forced on them) but if we are encouraging and supportive instead of “fixed” in how we see our significant others, it can do wonders for them, us and the relationship. Whether you’re single, dating or married, you need to recognize that everyone comes with some baggage. “Daniel Wile says there are no problem-free candidates. The trick is to acknowledge each other’s limitations and build from there” (p.157). Just as we wouldn’t give up on a career or fitness goal without putting in great effort and seeing it as a long game with setbacks and pivots, how might we take the same approach when it comes to matters of the heart? Dweck puts it beautifully when she says: it’s not “they lived happily ever after” but more like “they worked happily ever after” (p.155). Remember, anything worth having never comes easily.

So, obviously, the growth mindset is pretty dope and I’m all hyped up about it. When I read Mindset, I was like “I totally have a growth mindset….a fixed mindset is lame and it’s just not me”. But the truth is, as I read further into the book, I was humbled to realize that in some aspects of my life, I can for sure have a fixed mindset. As I mentioned in my last blog post, I was a nerd who soaked up school and prided myself on getting straight A’s. I look back and see how that, to some degree, was the fixed mindset in my life. I bought into and worked hard to protect my image as a 4.0 GPA person – it came at a cost, of course. Even today though, I can see traces of that operating in my head where I like to be the smart one and the one who can excel at things – sometimes my ego needs to chill. But you know what? That’s okay. I’m grateful for the awareness. I am forever going to be a work-in-progress and seeing the fixed mindset pop up in my life gives me motivation to dig into that and change it. Think of mindset as a spectrum with fixed on one end and growth on the other. Dweck reinforces that none of us have a growth mindset ALL the time, 365/24/7. She points out that we truly are a mix. It’s important we see where we are on the spectrum in the different areas of our lives – and this can change day-to-day too. When you’re facing a setback or challenge, how can you get curious instead of discouraged? What efforts and strategies have you employed? What growth feedback could you seek? Is there a completely different approach that could be taken? Is there someone who’s really good at a particular skill or in a certain area that you could shadow with or learn from? Is there more you could learn or uncover - have you really stretched yourself or are you just sitting in the comfort of your ego?

Above all, the growth mindset reminds us to take the pursuit of our passions seriously but not to take ourselves too seriously. For example, although you might not want to rock the unibrow and sweat pant Sally look when you run into your ex – accept that you aren’t always going to exude the “too hot to trot” image. Embrace the mess - the sweat pants, bird’s nest hair and stained t-shirt - surrender, smile and move forward with your life. But take a shower and maybe call your eyebrow lady too - it’s about effort after all :)

#growthmindset #learn #live #embracethemessiness #worksinprogress

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spicynbachili1 · 6 years

Text

Review: Call of Duty: Black Ops 4

No marketing campaign, no drawback

Name of Obligation: Black Ops four has ushered in a brand new period of AAA: one the place each studio and their grandmother tries to pack a battle royale gametype into their mission. The factor is, Activision truly did it proper, whereas additionally offering a powerful zombies outing alongside its token conventional multiplayer factor.

After extra testing past our evaluate in progress, my view hasn’t modified all that a lot. Your mileage could range relying on how a lot you weigh every mode.

Name of Obligation: Black Ops four (PC, PS4 [reviewed], Xbox One) Developer: Treyarch Writer: Activision Launched: October 12, 2018 MSRP: $59.99

Let’s keep on with the identical format we used within the evaluate in progress, we could: however this time, with numbers!

Blackout (eight.5/10)

Whereas it is easy to slam battle royale video games and modes as a option to make a fast buck, all of it actually relies on the way it’s dealt with. To date Blackout has upended that mentality and exhibits promise as well. It has the potential to proceed evolving, drawing from the collection’ 15-year historical past.

It is the identical shtick, certain: bounce right into a crowd of ~100 individuals and ensure you’re the final one standing. However Black Ops four goes a bit wilder with it with out absolutely going off the rails looking for consideration. There’s sufficient selection on this shooter subgenre proper now to make room for Blackout, particularly when it takes Name of Obligation in a very new, and albeit, thrilling route. Sprinkling zombies into choose areas is a enjoyable option to spice issues up, as are devices, Easter eggs, and particular skills.

In the end, Blackout is one thing you possibly can waste your complete day with or sneak in a fast repair for: such is the ability of battle royale. One other bit that rivals typically wrestle with that Blackout nails, gunplay, is solved by nature of the mode slotting instantly into the present incarnation of the Name of Obligation engine. Whereas it is easy to knock its age (and it is up there) it is purposeful and stronger than many different shooters available on the market.

Talking of age: Blackout does have split-screen on consoles and you could know proper up entrance that it is janky. The framerate and visuals take a big hit (even with my exams on a PS4 Professional) to permit this course of to occur. On condition that no different main battle royale available on the market even presents it, it already has a leg up. It really works is what I am saying, as long as you don’t have any excessive within the sky aspirations of turning into a Blackout professional whereas sharing a display.

I’ve all the time checked out Name of Obligation as extra of an arcade-tinted different and Blackout hammers that time residence whereas sustaining a semblance of tactical gameplay. It manages to strike a steadiness that many different rivals simply have not but (you are typically both an ultra-serious tactical operative or Thanos doing the Charleston after leaping 100 ft up within the air, with no compromise in-between).

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Multiplayer (6/10)

I usually Status not less than as soon as yearly (with just a few exceptions) however I feel Black Ops four‘s multiplayer goes to interrupt that streak. With an underwhelming deal with smaller, extra intimate affairs that lack character, this 12 months’s multiplayer factor presents a distinctly totally different method in comparison with Blackout.

Out of Black Ops four‘s 14 maps, 4 are flashbacks (learn: straight re-uses of earlier arenas from previous video games). A number of others, like Seaside, really feel like flashbacks though they’re technically new. There are only some distinctive arenas value noting: the sandy Warzone of Contraband and the crime boss HQ of Hacienda. If you have not performed Name of Obligation in years you may get one thing out of it, however the over-reliance of the map rework angle (which is normally sparingly saved for DLC) didn’t work in its favor right here.

Specialist courses (distinctive characters that present totally different skills) return however are extra underwhelming. They do not even get an opportunity to shine in “Specialist Ops,” that are mainly tutorial missions with a unfastened MCU-esque storyline to attach them. Baggage of well being and guide therapeutic choices attempt their greatest to really feel totally different, however the previous “Choose 10” perk/gear system brings every little thing again all the way down to actuality. The core hasn’t modified all that a lot and all you are left with much less unique modes and maps to battle with.

Within the case of Black Ops four, multiplayer is merely one in all three meaty choices. Though I felt like the opposite two modes higher captured the spirit of Name of Obligation, you may recognize the shift to compact, objective-based matches. For the remainder of us, zombies remains to be on the high of its sport.

Zombies (9/10)

I do know some diehards are going to disagree, however as somebody who’s been enjoying zombies for the reason that starting (and each DLC), that is essentially the most accessible version so far. I’ve one phrase for you: bots. Okay two phrases: good bots.

Black Ops four has some actually, actually badass bots that can allow you to obtain your wildest desires of really making strides in zombie maps in case you can by no means wrangle up a static group. The choice of three maps initially (4 in complete if in case you have the season go, with 4 extra on the best way) makes it really feel heftier as a complete, particularly when the Roman Colosseum (IX) and cruise ship (Voyage of Despair) storylines are simply as off-the-wall as ever and full of secrets and techniques. Break up-screen makes a welcome return, which may also be performed with bots (that is the final use of the phrase “bots” within the evaluate, I promise).

With its “Powers of the Gods” angle (Dani, Ra, Zeus and Odin, on high of wacky weapons like a Chakram that might really feel at residence in Krull, or an historical therapeutic workers that shoots laser beams) and absolutely customizable loadouts, Black Ops four‘s zombies mode is exclusive with out getting determined. The brand new solid can be extraordinarily chatty (and catty) and I like it. The whole lot slots into place. It is traditional Treyarch doing their very own factor.

I lied, I’ve two extra phrases so that you can actually drive the purpose residence that this zombies iteration is value giving a shot: efficient tutorial. Accessibility and depth are each current right here and it is incredible.

All three of Black Ops four‘s modes are tied collectively neatly with a theater recording possibility, accessible from the principle menu. It is a bizarre feeling, having three evolving merchandise tied collectively underneath one SKU; regardless of the unevenness of the experiment, it does reach persevering with to get individuals to care in regards to the collection.

The panorama has modified. Name of Obligation: Black Ops four cannot simply function with the identical business-as-usual mentality from Activision, now that it is taken this step. Blackout has the potential to be its personal sport in the identical method Epic tore its Battle Royale mode from the principle package deal as a separate entity. Depart it to Treyarch to create a conundrum after introducing a non-traditional mission into the fray. How properly Activision manages Black Ops four will probably affect the complete way forward for the collection. For now, two-thirds of it’s rising to the event.

Bots.

[This review is based on a retail build of the game purchased by the reviewer. We also did not attend the industry review event.]

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Name of Obligation: Black Ops four reviewed by Chris Carter

eight

GREAT

Spectacular effort with just a few noticeable issues holding it again. Will not astound everybody, however is value your time and money. How we rating: The destructoid evaluations information

from SpicyNBAChili.com http://spicymoviechili.spicynbachili.com/review-call-of-duty-black-ops-4/

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rafi1228 · 4 years

Link

Start from 0 & learn both topics simultaneously from scratch by writing 20+ hacking programs

What you’ll learn

175 detailed videos about Python programming & ethical hacking

Install hacking lab & needed software (works on Windows, OS X and Linux)

Learn 2 topics at the same time – Python programming & Ethical Hacking

Start from scratch up to a high-intermediate level

Write over 20 ethical hacking and security programs

Learn by example, by writing exciting programs

Model problems, design solutions & implement them using Python

Write programs in Python 2 and 3

Write cross platform programs that work on Windows, OS X and Linux

Have a deep understanding on how computer systems work

Have a strong base and be able to use the skills learned to write any program even if its not related to hacking

Understand what is Hacking, what is Programming, and why are they related

Design a testing lab to practice hacking & programming safely

Interact & use Linux terminal

Understand what MAC address is & how to change it

Write a python program to change MAC address

Use Python modules and libraries

Understand what Object Oriented Programming is

Write object oriented programs

Model & design extendable programs

Write a program that can discover all clients connected to the same network

Read, analyse & manipulate network packets

Understand & interact with different network layers in packets such as ARP, DNS, HTTP ….etc

Write a program that can redirect the flow of packets in a network (arp spoofer)

Write a packet sniffer to filter interesting data such as usernames and passwords

Write a program to redirect DNS requests (DNS Spoofer)

Intercept and modify network packets on the fly

Write a program to replace downloads requested by any computer on the network

Analyse & modify HTTP requests and responses

Inject code in HTML pages loaded by any computer on the same network

Downgrade HTTPS to HTTP

Write a program that can detect ARP Spoofing attacks

Write custom made payloads to download a file, execute command, download & execute, download execute & report …..etc

Use sockets to send data over TCP

Send data reliably over TCP

Write client-server programs

Write a backdoor that works on Windows, OS X and Linux

Implement cool features in the backdoor such as file system access, upload and download files and persistence

Write a remote keylogger that can register all keystrikes and send them by Email

Interact with files using python (read, write & modify)

Convert python programs to binary executables that work on Windows, OS X and Linux

Convert evil files into torjans that work and function just like any other file type like an image or a PDF

Bypass Anti-Virus Programs

Understand how websites work, the technologies used and how to test them for weaknesses

Write a program that can discover hidden paths in a website

Send requests towebsites and analyse responses

Write a program that can map a website and discover all links, subdomains, files and directories

Extract and submit forms from python

Run dictionary attacks and guess login information on login pages

Write a program that can discover weaknesses in websites

Requirements

Basic IT knowledge

No Linux, programming or hacking knowledge required.

Computer with a minimum of 4GB ram/memory

Operating System: Windows / OS X / Linux

Description

Welcome this great course where you’ll learn python programming and ethical hacking at the same time, the course assumes you have NO prior knowledge in any of these topics, and by the end of it you’ll be at a high intermediate level being able to combine both of these skills and write python programs to hack into computer systems exactly the same way that black hat hackers do, not only that but you’ll be able to use the programming skills you learn here to write any program even if it has nothing to do with hacking.

This course is highly practical but it won’t neglect the theory, so we’ll start with covering some basics about ethical hacking and python programming, installing the needed software and then we’ll dive and start programming straight away. From here onwards you’ll learn everything by example, by writing useful hacking programs, so we’ll never have any boring dry programming lectures.

The course is divided into a number of sections each aims to achieve a specific goal, the goal is usually to hack into a certain system, so we’ll start by learning how this system work, the weaknesses of this system, and then you’ll lean how to write a python program to exploit these weaknesses and hack the system, as we write the program I will teach you python programming from scratch covering one topic at a time, so by the end of the course you’re going to have a number of ethical hacking programs written by yourself (see below) from backdoors, keyloggers, credential harvesters, network hacking tools, website hacking tools and the list goes on, not only that but you’ll also have a deep understanding on how computer systems work, how to model problems, design an algorithm to solve problems and implement the solution using python.

As mentioned in this course you will learn both ethical hacking and programming at the same time, so here are some of the topics that will be covered in the course:

Programming topics:

Writing programs for python 2 and 3.

Using modules and libraries.

Variables, types …etc.

Handling user input.

Reading and writing files.

Functions.

Loops.

Data structures.

Regex.

Desiccation making.

Recursion.

Threading.

Object oriented programming.

Packet manipulation using scapy.

Netfilterqueue.

Socket programming.

String manipulation.

Exceptions.

Serialisation.

Compiling programs to binary executables.

Sending & receiving HTTP requests.

Parsing HTML.

+ more!

Hacking topics:

Basics of network hacking / penetration testing.

Changing MAC address & bypassing filtering.

Network mapping.

ARP Spoofing – redirect the flow of packets in a network.

DNS Spoofing – Redirect requests from one website to another.

Spying on any client connected to the network – see usernames, passwords, visited urls ….etc.

Inject code in pages loaded by any computer connected to the same network.

Replace files on the fly as they get downloaded by any computer on the same network.

Detect ARP spoofing attacks.

Bypass HTTPS.

Create malware for Windows, OS X and Linux.

Create trojans for Windows, OS X and Linux.

Hack Windows, OS X and Linux using custom backdoor.

Bypass Anti-Virus programs.

Use fake login prompt to steal credentials.

Display fake updates.

Use own keylogger to spy on everything typed on a Windows or OS X computer.

Learn the basics of website hacking / penetration testing.

Discover subdomains.

Discover hidden files and directories in a website.

Run wordlist attacks to guess login information.

Discover and exploit XSS vulnerabilities.

Discover weaknesses in websites using own vulnerability scanner.

Programs you’ll build in this course:

You’ll learn all the above by implementing the following hacking programs

mac_changer – changes MAC Address to anything we want.

network_scanner – scans network and discovers the IP and MAC address of all connected clients.

arp_spoofer – runs an arp spoofing attack to redirect the flow of packets in the network allowing us to intercept data.

packet_sniffer – filters intercepted data and shows usernames, passwords, visited links ….etc

dns_spoofer – redirects DNS requests, eg: redirects requests to from one domain to another.

file_interceptor – replaces intercepted files with any file we want.

code_injector – injects code in intercepted HTML pages.

arpspoof_detector – detects ARP spoofing attacks.

execute_command payload – executes a system command on the computer it gets executed on.

execute_and_report payload – executes a system command and reports result via email.

download_and_execute payload – downloads a file and executes it on target system.

download_execute_and_report payload – downloads a file, executes it, and reports result by email.

reverse_backdoor – gives remote control over the system it gets executed on, allows us to

Access file system.

Execute system commands.

Download & upload files

keylogger – records key-strikes and sends them to us by email.

crawler – discovers hidden paths on a target website.

discover_subdomains – discovers subdomains on target website.

spider – maps the whole target website and discovers all files, directories and links.

guess_login – runs a wordlist attack to guess login information.

vulnerability_scanner – scans a target website for weaknesses and produces a report with all findings.

As you build the above you’ll learn:

Setting up a penetration testing lab to practice hacking safely.

Installing Kali Linux and Windows as virtual machines inside ANY operating system.

Linux Basics.

Linux terminal basics.

How networks work.

How clients communicate in a network.

Address Resolution Protocol – ARP.

Network layers.

Domain Name System – DNS.

Hypertext Transfer Protocol – HTTP.

HTTPS.

How anti-virus programs work.

Sockets.

Connecting devices over TCP.

Transferring data over TCP.

How website work.

GET & POST requests.

And more!

So by the end of the course you’re going to have programming skills to write any program even if it has nothing to do with hacking, but you’ll learn programming by programming hacking tools!

With this course you’ll get 24/7 support, so if you have any questions you can post them in the Q&A section and we’ll respond to you within 15 hours.

NOTE: This course is created for educational purposes only and all the attacks are launched in my own lab or against devices that I have permission to test.

NOTE: This course is totally a product of Zaid Sabih and no other organisation is associated with it or a certification exam. Although, you will receive a Course Completion Certification from Udemy, apart from that NO OTHER ORGANISATION IS INVOLVED.

Who this course is for:

Anybody who is interested in learning Python programming

Anybody who is interested in learning ethical hacking / penetration testing

Created by Zaid Sabih Last updated 3/2019 English English [Auto-generated]

Size: 12.63 GB

Download Now

https://ift.tt/2LWRrlw.

The post Learn Python & Ethical Hacking From Scratch appeared first on Free Course Lab.

#IFTTT #Blogger

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foodoliplife · 5 years

Text

The Number One Strategy to Use for Poem Mathematics

Key Pieces of Poem Mathematics

The author delves into a significant number of topics somehow connected with each one of these numbers. If it’s a non-fiction book, talk about your research practice. This informative article explores these connections through an assortment of links and examples.

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Understanding AussieEssaywriter.com.au/ Poem Mathematics

Descriptive writing is where you are able to describe a photo in a story. Poet Edward Lear is among the most renowned writers of limericks. Nobody is allowed on campus.

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Now, at first glance they might not appear equal, thus we might need to examine them closely! They use big words that could be difficult to comprehend. Fibbin with Poems throughout the Curriculum.

The Backwards Alphabet Code is quite straightforward. Clearly, Machine Learning is an unbelievably strong tool. Subtracting Two-Digit Numbers In this quiz, they will subtract two-digit numbers by using a variety of strategies.

That’s the reason why we go to school to learn about an assortment of subjects. Below are some grade-based English worksheets for kids to find the learning started! This book comprises standard questions and the majority of the exams questions come from NCERT books.

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The Fight Against Poem Mathematics

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Usually, it’s because you’ve accomplished something, you’re already published, and your name is well-known. Another possibility is the fact that it is the exact same damn thing again and again againthat Nature has just one way of doing things, and She repeats her story from time to time. When you compose a resume for the very first time, it may take you some time to put everything in order and create your CV seem presentable.

The Honest to Goodness Truth on Poem Mathematics

Faced with the issue of a near endless number of possible categories, we’re inclined to select from a few those most tried and tested within our distinct culture. Orders are typically dispatched on the following business day following the day the purchase was confirmed to the client. However, you must compose the larger number first! There are a lot of possibilities.

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Key Pieces of Poem Mathematics

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The Fundamentals of Poem Mathematics Revealed

The history of mathematics can be viewed as an ever-increasing set of abstractions. There are mathematicians that are totally uninterested in science, that are building tools that science will discover indispensable. Again, an excellent understanding of high school mathematics should permit a reader to comprehend this book.

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The 5-Minute Rule for Poem Mathematics

The Backwards Alphabet Code is quite straightforward. Learning the English language well is extremely vital for a kid’s growth. Students should guess the term ZERO.

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What You Should Do to Find Out About Poem Mathematics Before You’re Left Behind

This informative article will explore some basic aspects to consider if you want to trade options to make the most of stock movements. This expression derives from the custom of marking all sheep of the identical flock with a frequent mark produced by a brush dipped in tar. I believe the manner that you are able to distinguish excellent mathematicians is that they’re constantly moving further and forward and advancing onto new ground.

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The Lost Secret of Poem Mathematics

To begin with, notice that the data is a tiny noisy. But lots of libraries don’t bother to include things like these slower and not as general types of FFT, and just enable the coder convert or ignore the things that they need or don’t require. Time value is often known as extrinsic price. Determining which inputs to use is an significant part ML design.

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Up in Arms About Poem Mathematics?

Just reach out to our support managers, if you’ve got an unusual job to do, and we’ll surely find someone to assist you. It’s a whole lot simpler to find a job when you’ve got an address to put on your applications. I am hunting for help in different domains too. You can employ your textbook that will help you begin collecting terms. A search about a frequent term like Internet” was problematic.

While teachers will play a central part in helping students gain the abilities and knowledge required with these standards, it is going to be up to the student to really pass the exams. For quite a few, romantic relationships comprise the most meaningful facet of life, supplying a source of deep fulfillment. It’s a room to explore and design new mathematical pursuits. Planning considerations Some individuals have begun on new curriculum. You might be asked to spot the research question of interest, decide on the very best design for a particular research question and recognize conclusions that could be drawn from results.

I am able to combine the data into any variety of distinct ranges. Orders are typically dispatched on the following business day following the day the purchase was confirmed to the client. Use divisibility rules to decide whether a number is a factor of some other number. As a consequence, the numbers 0 and 10 aren’t listed as elements within this set.

I am able to determine the square root of any number in under 10 seconds. You will probably think of a incorrect answer if you perform calculations from the purchase. You may use a calculator for the whole subject test, if you opt to achieve that. A function assigns exactly a single output to every input of a predetermined type.

New Step by Step Roadmap for Poem Mathematics

Knowing the current and expected volatility in the cost of an choice is necessary for any investor who wishes to make the most of the movement of a stock’s price. The only aspect that significantly impacts the swing of a pendulum on Earth is the period of its string. Let’s examine a couple more examples of tonka from several points in history.

On the correct side, students wrote their very own reactions and observations. So long as an object isn’t going as fast as it can, it’s speeding up. In other scenarios, you might not initially have the counters that you’re supposed to take away.

The Unexpected Truth About Poem Mathematics

This is exactly why she’s thought to be the very first computer programmer on earth. He’s often known as the father of contemporary computers. In doing this, they actually put Lovelace’s visionary notion of a computer to do the job.

It’s basically utilized to discover the workability of the tools in a moment. So, we’re highly advised to examine these books to construct your knowledge foundation strong. They permit you to gauge your subject wisdom and uncover your strengths and weaknesses, permitting you to comprehend what areas you have to devote more time to and conversely, what areas you’re able to devote less time to. That’s to say, the subsequent concepts could possibly be accepted apropos the definition of computer. This project isn’t resource intensive.

Offers practical pointers to help parents assist their families find the perfect balance of eating well and being physically active to keep a healthy weight. Margie Tate, VA I love that it may be utilized in a step-by-step instructional way and a way to examine student work. But in addition, it puts a whole lot of ego into it.

Whenever your test results come back a couple weeks later, you are going to learn where you stand compared to others throughout the nation. The issue is truly unavoidable. It is very important to know that there’s no penalty for guessing when taking the test.

The Lost Secret of Poem Mathematics

Therefore, when you have a set of continuous data, then you may use a histogram to demonstrate the results visually. There’s a fairly easy notation for sets. For instance, they’d argue that the theory of the all-natural numbers is fundamentally valid, in a manner that doesn’t require any particular context. Third, and most important, it would be hard to implement Vitruvius’s method with the amount of measurement accuracy readily available to Archimedes. However, some of this methods are related to the particular numbers which should be calculated. Getting poor, if you’re convinced that there is anything of value I want to have my theorems published.

Or, think about the measurement of distance, and the various systems of distance measurement that developed around the world. And whenever you are cooking, you want to use measuring. She invented the techniques needed to solve mathematical issues, step-by-step. Our aim is to discover the ideal values of and to make our predictor work along with possible.

But actually Scientists want to know more about the philosophical background of their job and Philosophers want to know more about the justification of their Theories. Turing, needless to say, was a genius. Moreover a mathematician isn’t alone.

The Battle Over Poem Mathematics and How to Win It

For instance, the letter E is used more than every other letter in the alphabet. If you’d like someone to take a look at your preface, our book editors would be eager to provide help. The total bill text can be seen below. Sometimes it doesn’t do the job, and at times, happily, it works, regardless of you. Such a poem–which is extended in the form of its subject–is referred to as a concrete poem.

You’re able to download all of these for free at teachoo. Then you’re able to take away what you require. Download this easy Spring Acrostic Poem activity and put it to use in the elementary classroom.

Grit, it simply gives them grittiness, you merely have to persevere. Learning the English language well is extremely vital for a kid’s growth. Subtracting Two-Digit Numbers In this quiz, they will subtract two-digit numbers by using a variety of strategies.

That’s the reason why we go to school to learn about an assortment of subjects. To beat the ACT, one of the most crucial things that you can do is educate yourself for what to anticipate. This book comprises standard questions and the majority of the exams questions come from NCERT books.

The One Thing to Do for Poem Mathematics

Our video lessons can help you to clear all your concepts. Mathematics and poetry, Growney states, are both formats that could convey numerous meanings. Beyond that, there’s the form of a poem.

You may learn more about the world in writing. Well, in other words, it is a collection. All his favourite poems are here.

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#food #recipe #The Number One Strategy to Use for Poem Mathematics

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gracespilkerr · 5 years

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How To Become A Firefighter In Texas

A lot of people say that everything is bigger in Texas, and there are just as many asking how to become a firefighter in Texas.

This is a state that doesn’t do things by half way and this relates to their fire service and fire threats too. The threats here can be extreme from major fires in the cities, accidents in the highways and oil refinery explosions to all the naturally-occurring risks.

So, the state needs a big, bold fire service that is always ready to provide the help that people need. How can you be a part of the impressive Texas fire service?

How to Become a Firefighter in Texas

At least 18 years old

High-school education but preferably higher

US citizenship and local residency

A valid Texas state driver’s license

Physically fit

Of good character

If you’re the type of person who has been wondering how to become a firefighter in Texas, be prepared for a long hiring process when you apply.

There is quite a long screening process for applicants in Texas after they submit their initial application. If you’re unable to pass the many tests you’ll encounter you will probably not be able to proceed.

The first is the civil service exam that determines basic mechanical aptitude, reading comprehension and math skills. Each component has a grade and different departments will have their own expectations for a passing score. (Click any of those links to go to our article explaining exactly what to expect on each section of the exam.)

Then there is the CPAT physical ability test. Again, this may vary between departments but it typically tests fitness, strength and flexibility over short time constraints. Those that fail here may not be able to keep up in major incidents with time pressures.

Finally, some will also subject applicants to a polygraph test. This has two purposes. The first is to highlight and lies about your application and history – such as residency issues or previous experience. The other is to get an idea of your moral character.

From there, you will also have to deal with background checks and firefighter interviews. It is a long process, but it has to be to separate out the best candidates for the job. Professionalism and a good nature here will go a long way.

Firefighting in Texas

As of 2010, 29.21% of the Texan population claimed to speak Spanish at home.

Therefore, it makes sense for Texas firefighters to take Spanish classes or at least keep up with their comprehension of the language. Doing so could make a massive difference in certain neighborhoods and communities.

There is always the risk that families in Spanish neighborhood will only want to converse in their native tongue in times of crisis. It makes things so much easier if you can communicate and reassure them in a way that they understand.

Language skills also help when it comes to outreach programs. It is easy to focus on the negative side of firefighting and all the risks to life during fire suppression. But, there are also lots of opportunities to help people through educations programs. Bilingual approaches get the message across and are more accommodating.

Texas has also seen its fair share of major storms over the years. One of the most catastrophic in recent times was Hurricane Harvey, which was a Category 4 hurricane.

Although it made landfall further south, the storm stalled, and the impact was felt much further inland – specifically around the Greater Houston Area. The region saw widespread flooding, property damage and great disruption in the area.

Some people don’t realize this, but it was actually more damaging than the infamous Hurricane Katrina because there was more than $198.6 billion in damages.

While politicians may choose to look at monetary values, it was up to the emergency services to handle the impact on lives in the area. Firefighters had to rescue those trapped, pump out the floodwater, secure properties and provide medical support where needed.

While we can hope that this was the worst-case scenario for Texas, there is the risk of this happening again with future storms.

Texas is also famous for a few other things. The cattle and subsequently produce and BBQ food is one major part of rural life here. Another is the oil refineries.

Texas oil is a massive industry that supplies materials across the country. In fact, there are said to be around 5 billion barrels of the stuff. In the eyes of a firefighter, that’s a lot of flammable liquid in plants and depots that could cause major fires and loss of life.

Therefore, any fire department near to a refinery must be ready to handle the worst.

Southeast Texas is home to the Port Arthur Refinery. This is the largest in the country and also a facility at constant risk of fire and damage. That is why the Port Arthur Fire Department is such an important resource in the area.

The department’s list of responsibilities is vast. They need to look after the area and keep on top of fires and hazardous material leaks.

They have also been known to handle rescue efforts in a storm, major explosions and a train derailment. Then there are all the common calls for fires, vehicular extraction and medical issues.

Fire Academies in Texas

If you want to become a firefighter in Texas, you need to build a strong foundation of knowledge and skills. The first step is to gain your certification through a fire academy or a college program.

From there, you can then increase your skillset by taking part in additional certificates on a range of subjects.

Austin: Austin Community College District

Houston: Houston Community College

Dallas: El Centro College

El Paso: El Paso Community College

Rockwall: North Texas Fire Academy

McKinney: Collin County Community College District

Kileen: Central Texas College

The Woodlands: Lone Star College System

Texas City: College of the Mainland

Pasadena: San Jacinto Community College

One of the best places to gain some professional training in Dallas is The Dodd J. Miller Training Center. Since 1987, the team here have helped new recruits learn the basics needed to complete their Firefighter I and II certificates. They have lots of classroom spaces and training areas where you can learn all the equipment and strategies.

This includes the three-story drill tower, a commercial simulator, driving course and much more. Find out more here.

Major Fire Departments in Texas

The following is a list of major fire departments in Texas. While it isn’t comprehensive it’s a great place to start if you’re interested in learning more about how to become a firefighter in Texas.

How to Become a Corpus Christi, TX Firefighter

At least 18 years old

High-school education but preferably higher

US citizenship and local residency

A valid Texas state driver’s license

Physically fit

Of good character

Then there are some of the smaller city departments that are just as important for the health and well-being of citizens. One example of this is the City of Corpus Christi Fire Department.

The department may be smaller – because of the smaller area and population size – but they are just as skilled and dedicated. This is another department familiar with the risks of oil and fuel pipelines.

They claim that most chief officers there have dealt with at least 12 fires in petroleum storage tanks.

They also carry out a lot of work at the port in the city to protect those working with the fuel, cargo and on the boats. You can find out more here.

How to Become a Houston, TX Firefighter

At least 18 years old

High-school education but preferably higher

US citizenship and local residency

A valid Texas state driver’s license

Physically fit

Of good character

I can’t talk about the biggest and best fire departments in Texas without mentioning Houston. Houston is an ISO 1 rated company with stations covering 654 square miles to protect more than 2 million residents.

This means a staff of more than 4,000 firefighters on hand to tackle fires, medical emergencies, accidents and major incidents. Therefore, they can claim to be one of the biggest in the world.

The requirements in Houston are very similar to those in the rest of the state. You need to be no older than 36 with a clean record, good education and a good level of physical fitness.

The interesting thing here is that they ask for 24 transferable college credit hours at a C grade or above. This shows a greater emphasis on knowledge before coming into the fire service.

That is where those academic courses above can really help. Non-certified applicants go on into an academy class with 38 weeks of fire and EMT training. Certified applicants move forward to an 11-week program instead. Learn more here.

Job Prospects for Firefighters in Texas

As of 2018, Texas was the state with the second-highest employment of firefighters in the US. Stats for this year showed 29,110 staff with a ratio of 2.40 per 1000 people.

The metropolitan area of Dallas-Fort Worth-Arlington has the 4th most employed with 8,570 with a ratio of 2.40 per 1000. Houston-The Woodlands-Sugar Land also ranked highly with 6,2000 employed.

In Dallas, officers with a bachelor’s degree receive $300.00 a month with $60,000.00 of starting pay annually.

In Houston, the base rate for a probationary firefighter is $40,170 and this increases year on year with experience. There is also $1,800 bi-lingual pay and additional compensation for medical experience.

https://www.bls.gov/oes/current/oes332011.htm#st

As long as you’re prepared to train constantly to meet the needs of your department, there shouldn’t be too many issues become a Texas firefighter.

There are some diverse departments across the state that deal with all kinds of rescues, fires and major emergencies. Show them the right attitude and character from day one and you should have no trouble making your mark and helping out your community.

The post How To Become A Firefighter In Texas appeared first on FirefighterNOW.

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wotringmevivianbf70insuranc-blog · 5 years

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life insurance exam questions

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thecoroutfitters · 5 years

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yvonnecastellucci-blog · 5 years

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Final Reflection Post

Final Reflection Post to a Great Journey

This is my final reflection on the time spent working towards my master’s degree. This year personally has been a struggle for me. Many life-altering changes happen and working on my master’s and seeing the goal at the end of the finish line kept me grounded. Each individual course helps me to change the way I think and helped me to develop professionally. The base that I have learned on Instructional Design is already changing how I approach projects in my current career. Below is the break-down of how each course contributed to my personal and professional development, what my biggest triumphs were, and what my final project consisted of.

Course 1: (MDL501) Mastery- Personal Development and Leadership

This course began with preparing the learner for the journey which was to come. The course grounded the learner and gave the learner skills of what is required to be a student again. Many people start their master’s and have not been a student in quite some time, so this course allowed learners to learn how to research and to collect information. Personally, this course gave me the view that I had a lot to learn when it came down to writing in APA format. I had never used this format while in college, so this gave me a glimpse of what I had to learn. My biggest triumph was completing my first Academic Paper in APA format. The final project in this course was to develop a Mastery Journal PowerPoint, which was to be posted to Tumblr.

Course 2: (IDT520) Strategies for Learner Engagement

This course began to develop a base for what the subject of instructional design entailed. This course allowed me to work in groups and developed my knowledge of the models that needed to be used in the instructional design process ( models, objectives, strategies, etc.). In this course, I learned that I had a lot to learn when it came to writing in APA format. I struggled through this course, but I grew through the process. The group work project was the final project, and each team member had a specific role to play. I took the art-centric role and developed the style in which the project developed. It was difficult to work in a group and make sure that all team members were pulling their weight, but the end product turned out a really good final project.

Course 3: (EDEM533) Visual and Verbal Communication in Instructional Design

The focus of this course was on how best to convey information to learners. The class began with a series of projects and of course a research paper. This was the first learning experience, where I had to develop an infographic. This course allowed me to grow professionally by introducing me to deadlines and how much it is required to create an infographic. The first iteration of my work required a lot of changes, and I was not happy with the quality of the work. I learned about different types of fonts and which ones worked appropriately when used online and which ones worked when they were used for a print project. I learned a great deal about designing visuals and the use of the correct font. My personal triumph was developing my infographic visuals in Adobe Illustrator and feeling satisfied with my design. I have grown a lot since this course, and I am now very comfortable in the use of Illustrator to create my infographics.

Course 4: (IDT552) Corporate Training and Motivational Development

This course required creating training for corporate clients, and a large part of the course consisted of developing presentation skills. This course completely took me out of my comfort zone, I learned that recording yourself is not easy. It is incredible how much work is required in the development of a video and how much practice is needed so that when you are recording yourself, you are making eye contact with the audience. Throughout the course, I learned the differences in making a product for the cooperate sector and making a product that is geared to students in the education sector. The course was intimidating at first, but I learned many tools which increased my knowledge of building a presentation for the classes which were to come.

Course 5: (IDT562) Instructional Design and Evaluation

This course was a make or break in this program. The course work was intense, and the professor required the work to be at a graduate level. In this course, you had to work on a training needs analysis which was partially developed. The main focus of the course was to design interventions for specific audiences and then conduct effective evaluations to ensure the training was successful. This course almost threw me over the edge, as I developed the learning outcomes and objectives, it was apparent to me that I was suffering from scope creep and try as I must it continued to occur throughout the course. My focus would take control of the individual projects that the learners were required to do instead of the needs analysis has a whole. The amount of work in this course was so overwhelming that at times I would consider if this was the right program for me. My personal triumph was keeping up with the sheer amount of work required for this course. The professor was invaluable and taught me the correct way to site using APA format. This course though it was challenging gave me a robust view of what is required of an instructional designer. This course tested my strength and taught me that every step needs to be evaluated to make sure that all the components are working together and meeting the needs of the client.

Course 6: (IDT574) Digital Media and Learning Application

The focus of the course was on the use of video, audio, and interactive learning objects for instructional purposes. This course was great, it allowed for all my creative abilities to grow. In this course, I learned to use Dreamweaver and Brackets, which gave me a beneficial understanding of how to code. My personal triumph was the creation of the interactive quiz and developing assets to be used within the exam. I was delighted with the end product of this course.

Course 7: (MUS6018) Music and Audio for Instructional Design

The focus of this course was on effective use of audio for instructional purposes. I was not sure what to expect when I started this course. The professor tested my abilities to record different groups of students to complete my Grimm’s Fairy Tale Project. This project was a personal triumph is this course. The students speaking and reading levels all varied and the recording process in an open classroom prove to be quite challenging, but the complete project proved to be worth the challenge. I learned how to control the audio recording and how to make the reading fun so that the mistakes were less noticeable. The final project in this course was the addition of a story to the Historic Osceola Pioneer Village. This allowed for the integration of my script to be recorded into audio to add to the video. This class changed my view on how I combine audio and develop my ear to listen to recordings.

Course 8: (IDT610) Filmmaking Principles for Instructional Design

The focus of this course was on the design of film production. This course centered on how to keep the learners interested by telling a story. I found that my editing skills throughout this course had improved and this I think was one of my favorite classes. My final project was on how to use watercolor pencils and spent a lot of time on the filming and creation of the visuals. I learned a great deal on how to light certain images and on how to record the audio to go with the video. My personal triumph in this course was the completion of my video. I still look at this project and think of other aspects that I could have included, this was a great project. I learned a great deal about storytelling in this course.

Course 9: (EME6227) Game Strategies and Motivation

This course centered around games and game mechanics as the instructional intervention. This course made me dig deep to discover different ways in which to create games students would enjoy playing. The game which I created used QR Codes for the learners to involve themselves in a scavenger hunt. The game required a lot of work in the creation of all the sites where the artwork would be hosted and the artist each of the students was supposed to discover. My biggest triumph is that I am going to be currently using this game in an art show being created by my students.

Course 10: (EME6630) Learning Management Systems and Organization

The focus of this course was supposed to be on learning management systems, how to use them, and how to choose which one to use. This course began as expected but in the first week many of the item due dates change and the way the course was structure changed. We learned a lot in that one has to roll with the punches and adjust. I had the opportunity to try two different LMS systems, and I began with the easier one, and I am now currently moving all the information to a much more complicated LMS system which will have a much more significant impact on my career. I started with enormous ideas as to what to include and ended up having to scale things down to be able to meet the deadlines imposed on me. The course while making us discover what LMS systems to use also had us create our proposal for the module in our LMS and a training needs analysis which entailed what was going to be in our LMS. My biggest triumph for this course was to make all the content flow together. My goal is to finish the module and advertise it online so other learners can use my module to pass the FTCE Art Education Exam.

Course 11: (IDT680) Media Asset Creation

This course was centered around the creation of the final assets which were going to be used in our LMS. I began this course with the hope of creating four separate assets. As I started to work, I quickly realized the amount of work which I had gotten into. By the second week, I scaled down my plan to two assets that were done well instead of four assets that are not that great. For my assets I had to create all the artwork that was to be used, this took a great deal of time. This course allowed me to use all the skills I had learned throughout the program. My biggest triumph was the creation of the videos at the end which presented the information learners are required to learn.

Course 12: (IDT690) Final Instructional Design and Technology Project

This course was centered around preparing me for employment. I began by creating my Behance Portfolio and compiling all my projects together. Once all the project were complete and setup I transferred my information to Adobe Portfolio. I created a visual resume to help me apply for design positions. Before this course, I would have never considered a visual resume, but now I love how clean the design looks and how less information written really is more. I am going to continue working on my visual resume.

My biggest personal triumph in this course is the creation of my adobe portfolio, before this course I never had a digital portfolio. As an artist and art teacher, I have always had a portfolio, but it was never a digital one this course showed me that a digital portfolio can be a great asset. I think I have grown through each course I have taken in this program. I now feel very accomplish when I write research papers this was a challenging hurdle to overcome for me as I am dyslexic and have trouble writing

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