#and they wanted to work/stay together which meant creation of I love Lucy

[brookbee]

is this too niche

#explanation: #revolution meant that desi arnaz had to escape to USA #where desi met lucille ball #and they wanted to work/stay together which meant creation of I love Lucy #as well as desilu productions #which then produced Star Trek #and Star Trek fans are then credited for inventing slash fiction #Star Trek tos #the original series #spirk #trekposting

[bangbaby]

##DORM TOUR !

home is where the (heart is) boys are . . .

LUCY: i don’t wanna say i gave up cleaning after the kids, but i gave up cleaning after the kids — a tired maid

audio moodboard by kiki ! [ drums by *subin ]

## (OLD) LAYOUT !

update (as of DEC 2021): now that the kids are living in separate houses (felix/seungmin/jeongin/lee know & 3RACHA/hyunjin respectively), assume lucy is living with the latter. most of this fic still applies though!

sims 4 build by kiki ! [ half-fictional, half-researched ]

note: this layout is purely based on assumption and is not accurate by any means. i also hope it doesn’t come across as creepy, as i’ve only used public videos (linked above) for reference! and for those who aren’t aware, sims dimensions are very particular and not at all realistic; so i filled spaces with what i believed was best. i was also limited by colour and furniture choices (i used as much custom content as i could), but this is just meant to be a fun re-creation of the kids’ dorm: lucy’s room is not real!

front: entrance, laundry/storage, art room (based on hyunjin’s paintings in i.n’s vlog), manager’s room (spare/storage/recording, where han filmed his vlog), small bathroom; chan, felix and changbin’s room (based on what i think chan had in mind for an “optimal gaming layout”).

middle: living room, kitchen, roof access (assuming that they live on the top floor of the building because of their sun rooves); seungmin, hyunjin, minho’s room (assuming seungmin’s bunk has become some form of storage).

back: laundry/storage (making a total of six washing machines based on the idea that there’s nine/ten people living in the dorm), big bathroom; jeongin and jisung’s room.

lucy’s ensuite.

##FAVOURITE THINGS !

gaming pc: all of the computers in the house are set up pretty elaborately (most being for work purposes), so lucy's is no different. she does however, have dual monitors because of her need for screen space but dislike for laptops. and though her paychecks have done wonders for her PC specs, she is ironically the member with the least amount of clothes. also, the members have RGB-lit PCs which basically act as substitutes for lamps (as seen in chan's second vlog).

nintendo switch: lucy's recently bought one of her own whilst the boys have one in the living room, so now the kids can play up to 8-player super smash bros (though round robins are much more fun and a lot less chaotic). chan, hyunjin and lucy are most definitely the animal crossing players of the group (they may or may not be trying to induct the others to join them).

fake plants: lucy, minho and hyunjin totally want to be plant parents, but it's just not possible with the kind of schedule they have. so, they've resorted to decorating the dorm with plants that don't need watering (lucy certainly wasn't inspired by chan's cute fake cacti gift from their first christmas together).

clothing rack: ease of access to her most-used clothes is always helpful when she has no time to decide what to wear in the mornings.

electronic drum kit: bought by lucy when they'd moved into their first dorm. she couldn't bring over the kit she had in australia, so she decided to spend her first paycheck on one that was dorm-friendly. listen to *lucy's "stay" drums cover above!

guitars (electric and bass): these were purchased for her by her mother when she was 7 and 13 respectively. they are extremely valuable to her (the acoustic guitar was her gift to seungmin for his 20th birthday).

vinyl record player: even though it's not actually hers or in her bedroom. she'd gifted it to jeongin for his 19th birthday. jeongin and jisung now have it in what the kids call the certified hippies room.

prized collections shelf: right across from the kitchen pc (the one jeongin used to play among us), is a shelf filled with the bands' trophies, awards, manga books and figurines.

balcony: she has her own private balcony! she usually loves to eat, read or practice singing there, but it's more often than not a place to dry her clothes (like the others).

bathroom: because having one entirely to herself means she doesn't have to wait or take turns with anyone (though her charitable heart does let the boys use it when they're especially desperate). she can also stock it with whatever she wants and not necessarily have to share; except she does, because the boys do not at all hesitate to use her fancy and/or good-smelling stuff whenever possible (ie. when she lets them test products out or they've run out of their own).

##HOBBIES & MOMENTS !

lucy doesn't consider herself part of the cooking team, and certainly prefers cleaning chores or grocery shopping.

it's not that she's completely useless at cooking, rather she hates cleaning after herself and/or getting in the way of other members.

but minho's been wanting to tutor the girl ever since he started feeling sorry about how much she's had to clean/organise: clothes, shoes, dust, bathrooms, toilets, etc. (she says it's fine, but he knows it's a lot more taxing than cooking).

the dorm is a barefaced zone! and it's absolutely adorable how comfortable they are with each other.

moving dorms was a hassle, but surprisingly fun with friends: the teamwork to carry/build furniture was also a sight to witness.

laundry is fucking hectic! the members usually have assigned days/weeks: four of them washing on one day and five on the other. but when they're especially busy, they'll dreadfully carry their things to the apartment laundromat downstairs.

when changbin first bought exercise gear for the dorm, lucy and chan helped the buff boy assemble it (sadly, it was missing pieces). however, even after fixing it (really lucy persuading changbin to get everything replaced), a majority of the kids still use the apartment/company gym out of habit.

sharing clothes just because they can (it's mostly the boys borrowing lucy's nice jackets though). lucy does own more feminine clothing— but on everyday occasion, lucy prefers oversized/gender-neutral wear. it also helps that she's around the same height as the kids so they can occasionally lend her shirts, hoodies or sweats. she does have smaller feet though, meaning she can't trade shoes with the boys like most of them end up doing (but she seriously wants han jisung's jordans)! the kids are always asking her for hand-me-downs, which is another reason why her closet is a lot smaller than the others'.

projector movie nights when everyone's home/free are always a good, relaxing way to spend an evening! the members also have watch parties on particular nights if a few members are looking to binge a series together: eg. 8:00pm tuesdays and thursdays were anime nights for a while (then they were hell's kitchen nights, followed by squid game nights, and are now peaky blinders nights).

but when the kids can't help themselves, they'll start streaming on their respective devices (alone in their rooms, whilst driving to work, during schedules, etc.): this sooner or later causes spoiler wars in the dorms and/or members getting salty (especially if they've previously agreed they'd watch it together).

depending on how busy their schedules are, most members will opt to order meals or bring home food on their way back from work. whenever they have time to cook for each other (let alone eat together), the kids never take it for granted.

chan/lucy/changbin/felix/seungmin are the members who play video games the most often: but hyunjin/jisung/jeongin/minho can (and will) substitute any available spots.

and since there are a total of five computers (or the very least, multiple laptops in the dorm), at some point, the members have played custom games (5 v 5s or 9 player co-ops): their manager/s included!

the five are known for their extremely expressive (NOISY) gameplay: especially during league of legends or any shooter (valorant or overwatch probably).

though the members will play whichever champions/agents they like, they’ve adapted to certain roles from playing together so often (but they’re also happy to switch roles if anyone wants to learn/try something new).

(what i think their play styles are like, based on assumption)

changbin: tank/fighter - initiator

chan: tank/support/assassin - controller

felix: fighter/mage/marksman - duelist

seungmin: support/mage - sentinel

lucy: assassin/marksman - duelist

the five also love teaching or supporting the members who don’t play as often (note: the other four members aren’t necessarily terrible at playing games, just less confident).

lucy and felix are most definitely genshin nerds; since they love RPGs.

more in #dorm shenanigans !

(domestic drabbles, dot points and ficlets coming soon)

[ nav ] [ masterlist ] [ skz ] [ itzy ] ©bangbaby

#stray kids dorm #skitzy #dot point fic #stray kids fic #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids 9th member #stray kids female oc #female oc #idol member #kpop added member #kpop addition #kpop #KAL1 #kiki kreates

[yosotu21]

“You’re my Storm”

First of all I want to emphasize that I speak Spanish, if what you will read is translated with Google translator in case you see it as a word that does not make sense, also to say that this is my first Gruvia fanfic on Tumblr, I still don't know how to use it much this app so this one-shot may not be as good as others, I have loved the Gruvia for quite some time, but had never been on Tumblr until recently. Well without further ado I begin.

This one-shot would be set after defeating Selene and returning to Earthland ...

After the shocking news of the return of the Natsu team to Earthland, as expected there was a great celebration for his return, as for Touka she stayed in Elentir to help its inhabitants, they were again in Fairy Tail, it was a great celebration , but two magicians were missing in this beautiful and noisy party, that's right, I'm talking about the ice magician Gray and the water magician Juvia, who were on a stretcher in the infirmary, doing? Nothing more and nothing less than trying to create a Greige, this would go unnoticed by everyone else at the party if it weren't for the fact that they had three Dragon slayers with an ear 7 times sharper than human hearing.

How did we get to this? Let's go back about 6 hours.

A portal was opened by Touka for the Natsu team to return to Earthland in gratitude for saving their world, everyone appeared in the middle of the guild causing a great impact on those present, it was not long when everyone ran to hug them, but who else was expected This serious reaction from the water magician in love with Gray Fullbuster, instead it was the other way around, as soon as Gray identified the owner of his heart it was he who ran to hug her surprising the entire guild, Juvia obviously did not wait and responded to this sudden hug.

"I missed you" said the ice wizard in the Lockser's ear, something that almost caused her to faint, but she resisted and with her relieved heart replied "Juvia I also miss her power to live a lot", this comment made the Fullbuster He will blush to the point of remembering that phrase he said when they were about to defeat Aldoron.

"Ahh, I have so many things to tell you" said the Fullbuster before breaking the hug.

"Hmm ... this ... I want you ... and I to go out ... to ... talk?" He said not very convinced, okay that without a doubt was something that no one in the world expected, what kind of parallel world was this where Gray Fullbuster invited Juvia Lockser out? His classmates were about to tell him to stay and celebrate , however the sharp sword of Titania a Gruvia shipper stopped them, without a doubt it was a dream for Juvia who shyly asked "H-like a date?" and the following answered by the Fullbuster was what made the Lockser lose consciousness for about 8 seconds "Y-yes like a date."

-------------------------------------------------

The two outside the union already started a nice walk to be able to make up for the time they were not together and maybe be able to advance something in their relationship, after all the feelings of both were already clear, they could consider themselves a couple, maybe? Their talk It ranged from the searches carried out by the guild to find the Natsu team to the new rival of Juvia's love for Elentir, yes, that girl who froze Gray.

The ice wizard was about to tell him about the son they had together in Edolas when a boy with dark blue hair crashed into Juvia causing a not very cute reaction from the Fullbuster "HEY, LOOK FOOL!".

"TO WHOM DID YOU TELL IDIO… JUVIA ?!" apparently that person unknown to Gray knew Juvia, "Bora-san?" Indeed, Juvia Bora's ex-boyfriend, quickly the Fullbuster in a small attack of jealousy raised Juvia from the ground and wrapped his arm around her waist, but not before asking "Juvia, who is he?", the water magician got quite nervous, not only because her beloved Gray-sama had her hugged by the waist, but because of how to tell her who the “Ahm. T-he ... is ... aah ",

Gray raised an eyebrow in search of a clear answer if it weren't for that idiot Bora replied instead" I'm her ex-boyfriend, and you? Don't tell me you're with her "In that last comment he made a grimace of displeasure, something that undoubtedly made the ice wizard quite angry, who did not hesitate for a second to defend the only woman in his life" And if so, do you have a problem with that? ? ”,

Without a doubt she was about to hit him if it weren't for Juvia now who was hugging his arm and whispering in his ear to calm down, it would have worked if it hadn't been for the answer Bora threw“ I have no problem with that, later I feel relieved to be done with her, she was just a hindrance in my life that only attracted storms "……… .well now if Bora had officially dug her own grave, she had just insulted the person most important to Gray, the The sky had clouded over, Gray turned to see Juvia who was shedding silent tears, because that comment or done by Bora made him remember his 17 years of loneliness, he was about to run away if it weren't for Gray tightening his grip on his waist as if telling him that he would always be with her.

"How ... HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT A PERSON WHO DEDICATED TIME TO YOU?! ... NO ... HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT MY JUVIA !!!" no doubt he was angry, he did not think what he said, he simply wanted to make it clear to Juvia that she would never be alone. "Trust me, Fullbuster, she's just a walking storm" that was Bora's last comment before falling unconscious from a well-deserved blow from Fairy Tail's Devil Slayer.

After that his walk got more and more uncomfortable, not to mention that the sky was still cloudy I would almost believe that it is night, it was not until the Fullbuster stopped his walk and without looking at the Lockser he released a few words that made all the insecurities of her beloved water magician would dissipate, without a doubt Juvia had chosen the right man this time, thanks to him she met the clear sky, had a real family and finally knew happiness and love, and although it was not intentional the magician of Ice was always with her and was always in charge of reminding her that she would never be alone again.

"Let me tell you that I'm not afraid of storms" was all he had to say for Juvia's cute little heart to further increase the infinite love she already felt for him, not a second passed when the daily routine of pouncing on he returned to normal. As expected, Juvia fell to the ground, but not because Gray didn't want to, he just said something that Juvia understood perfectly "Don't do that in public." In other words, Gray had given her permission to hug him as many times as she wanted while they weren't in public. However, Juvia did not expect that Gray would put his arm to hang her as usual, of course he would never tell her that when she did not hug him he gave her only a hint of cold.

This is how they returned to the guild with a nice clear sky, when entering the guild it was as confusing as you could imagine, Natsu and Lucy being questioned about their relationship and asking questions like "When are you planning to create Nasha?" and things like that, when both magicians crossed the guild gates they had to go through a long interrogation ... and it was at that moment that Juvia found out about the son she had with Gray.

3… 2… 1… Juvia fainted again, woke up on a stretcher in the guild's infirmary, Gray lay next to her sitting on a chair as she watched her sleep. They both looked into each other's eyes without saying a word until finally Gray spoke "You know, now if I wanted to take advantage of the confusion" Juvia understood perfectly what he meant, and in case you don't remember, Juvia mentioned something to Gray about " Take advantage of the confusion to touch her breasts ”, well now Gray had accepted his proposal. 

  And now we go back to the beginning, everyone in the guild knew that Gray loved Juvia, even Elfman, "It is of men to know that Gray loves Juvia", although that was clear, they did not expect that Gray would want a first-born so soon, although they believed which was a reaction to meeting Greige.The entire guild was on the other side of the infirmary door trying to listen to such a process, it was not until the great "Titania" threatened everyone with her more than two hundred swords to leave. 

Finally, blushing to her ears, Erza knocked on the door of the infirmary, suddenly she only heard a tremendous commotion and how they were looking for their clothes. Gray opened the door and Erza just whispered in his ear something that made Gray Fullbuster blush to his ears for the second time that day, she just nodded her head and closed the door. 

In the end, Gray and Juvia had to leave the guild if they wanted to continue with their creation process because, according to Titania's words, "It is not a suitable place to create babies." The good thing was that Gray with all the tranquility if he could have "HIS NIGHT" with Juvia, waking up both embraced on the same bed and with their clear feelings. On the other hand, Juvia was able to scream as loud as she wanted without fear of being heard.

After the storm comes calm and even some beautiful landscapes. 

Juvia was Gray's storm and thanks to her she now has a rainbow called "Storm Fullbuster Lockser" whom she loves with all her soul.

#gruvia #gray fullbuster #Gray X Juvia #Juvia Lockser #fairy tail

[raineydaywrites]

thrall (def.) a state of servitude or submission

I’m doing @febuwhump this month! Day 1: Mind control

Lucretia hadn't expected the design of her relic to be so prophetically symbolic But some days now, it felt like her staff was the only thing still holding her up.

She couldn't rest though. She had to keep looking. Most of the relics weren't active constantly, but they tended to cycle in and out of usage. She didn't know what happened to them in the in-between periods, and she didn't particularly want to.

If the cycles continued as they normally did, then the next one to activate would be Lup's. The Phoenix Fire Gauntlet, as some people on the plane had named it, whispered in both awe and horror. Lucretia had always found the name poetic, but ironic, and very accurate to Lup herself.

The Gauntlet was bad, but it was predictable, and Lucretia appreciated that. The Gauntlet would appear, along wide its Phoenix, and they would find someone to burn to the ground. Often, the person in question would be despicable in some way, but the Phoenix could never seem to keep the anger and flame contained to them alone, and whole cities would burn with them on occasion, often filled with innocents.

The awfulness of each primary target made Lucretia wonder if some part of Lup was still there, within the Phoenix, but she kind of hoped not. Because if Lup was aware of herself, then it would absolutely kill her when she remembered her collateral damage.

It was horrible, that her best case scenario was the brain death of her loved ones, but at least that would mean that they weren't suffering.

Sometimes, she swore that Captain Davenport was still there, but those moments never lasted long before he fell back into fantasy and illusion and his own mind.

They hadn't expected this, when they'd made their devices. They had known that their relics would have a thrall effect, but they had thought that their familiarity with the Light of Creation and their exposure to their objects during the crafting process would immunize them to the effects of their device and each others'.

They had been wrong.

They had put their individual fraction of Light into their objects together, intending it to be a show of solidarity and support.

Instead, it had ensured that none of them were safe from the thrall.

Lucretia knew that she herself was being influenced by the thrall of her Staff, but she had largely been able to retain her sense of self through it. Her device focused on abjuration- protection- and she had already been willing to do just about anything to protect her loved ones and the innocents of this plane, no thrall required. Besides which, her love for her family kept her sane. She needed to protect them most of all, and that focus and goal kept her mind where it was supposed to be.

She had made a list of potential targets for the Phoenix when next she rose, and her Seekers would keep an eye for any sign of trouble, so that she could arrive and do her best to safeguard the innocent civilians surrounding the target.

If she put up enough barriers and shields, then many of them could get out safely, and Lup, if anything was left of her, would know that she hadn't killed everyone. And eventually, the Phoenix would burn herself out, and the fires would die too. Not long after that, Barry would arrive to revive Lup, but the Phoenix would still go dormant for a while afterwards.

It was disconcerting to see Barry now. They had all gotten used to the sight of their liches, but it was more alarming to see him when he was so clearly empty. The Phantom wasn't Barry in the same way that the Phoenix wasn't Lup. And it made him feel wrong to look at.

Still, she was grateful for him. He and his device were the only reason that they weren't dead. Their devices could absolutely wreck through their wielders, and Barry kept it from being permanent.

The other devices tended not to be as lethal as Lup's Gauntlet, but they could be.

Merle was the next most likely to be killed by his device, because his new role as Guardian of Nature left him sowing creation and destruction in equal measure, and sometimes it ripped him apart.

Taako was probably only still alive because of Barry's actions. Every time Lucretia saw or heard about him now, he was different, but one thing remained the same. He was no longer made of flesh and bone, but gemstones or precious minerals or expensive fabrics. Whatever material had caught his fancy recently. It must be Barry's Bell that kept Taako's soul in that ever-changing vessel.

Captain Davenport and Magnus were the only two that hadn't died from their relics, as far as Lucretia knew at least. That didn't mean they weren't still suffering.

Davenport's illusions had not damaged his body, but they did seem to have dragged his mind somewhere else. He didn't seem to be aware of anything around him. She supposed the upside to that was that his device was no longer hurting anyone else.

Lucretia had been brought back by Barry a time or two as well. Her Staff didn't often hurt her very much, but it did put a strain on her body and mind, and sometimes she simply collapsed from it. The first time, she had thought that was it. She had failed her friends and this plane.

But then Barry had arrived- the Phantom had arrived, but he looked so much like Barry in that moment, smiling warmly at her and extending his hand to help her stand. He'd asked if she'd like to continue living.

She hadn't been sure that the truthful answer was 'yes', but she'd given it anyway. She had no other choice.

It had been easier when she'd had Magnus to help her. They had founded the Bureau together, sought solutions to save their friends and protect this plane at the same time, and she'd had a lot more hope of success then.

He'd resisted the thrall of his device at first- the only one of them who had managed that feat. He'd told her that the Chalice had offered the chance to go back and change the past, but he'd been unwilling to do so, as it would cause him to lose his relationships with them- his new family- and it would mean he couldn't have saved all the planes that they'd helped along the way.

That initial rejection had saved him from being thralled, but the Chalice had still whispered to him that he could use it to save the rest of them from their devices. It had tempted him often, and Lucretia was very proud of how long he'd held out against it.

But then, he'd fallen in love with a woman who had joined their Bureau, and he married her, and then, she took him to visit her hometown, and they hadn't come back. And that had been the straw that broke Magnus' back. She hadn't seen him since, but she knew that the Chalice had been activated.

Apparently, the full force of the six remaining devices united against one man as they had been against Governor Kalen was terrifying to behold, but Lucretia had no active memory of it, and couldn't confirm, but she did know that the place where Kalen had died no longer existed, completely obliterated by the force of their combined assault.

Her Bureau didn't know the full story of the devices, but they knew that the people wielding them were not acting of their own free will. It had been important to Lucretia that they know that, because it would kill her if either her friends or her employees got hurt because they got into conflict with each other.

As she laid her head down to sleep, her Staff slipped from her fingers, but it didn't go far. It couldn't do so while still exerting influence over her, so neither of them would let it.

She felt her mind drifting away, and didn't realize where it was drifting until she opened her eyes to see Barry smiling at her.

"Hi, Lucy," he greeted, voice warm and inviting.

She nearly sobbed at the greeting. It had been so long since anyone called her that. Her employees were kind and they respected her, but they didn't really treat her as an equal. And she was so used to being the whole crew's baby sister, that the role reversal was even more isolating.

"Would you like to live again?" Barry asked, coming close to her and grabbing her hand.

She nodded, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. He held on just as tightly to her.

"No exchange needed, of course. Family discount," Barry's voice chuckled into her ear. His body rumbled with his laughter, and it put her at ease.

"I miss you," Lucretia said. She generally tried not to think about that, because it would kill her to think about it too often. But she missed her family so much.

"I'm right here," Barry responded.

"Are you?" Lucretia wondered. It was hard, to see him like this. Because either he was really here and himself, which meant that all of them had retained some sense of self through this and were therefore suffering, or it meant that the Phantom was manipulating her by using the image of a member of her family, and that would mean that her family was truly gone entirely.

There were no good options, and Lucretia was tired of it.

She stayed like that for a long time, breathing in the presence of someone she could at least pretend was family, until Barry pulled back gently.

"It's almost morning. Time for you to get up," he said.

"Okay," she said, voice breaking only a little.

"You got this, Lucy. It's not the first time you've been alone remember?" Barry said, with a sudden intensity that she hadn't seen from the Phantom before. "We're countin' on you again. I trust you."

Lucretia woke with tears on her face, but her body felt lighter than it had in a long time.

She left her room quickly, and got back to work.

#febuwhump #febuwhumpday1 #taz balance #lucretia adventurezone #taz lucretia #barry bluejeans #mind control #major character death #but not graphic and they're fine #cause its taz

[illusionsofdreaming]

is requesting "gaius reacting to robin sacrificing herself at the end of awakening+robin coming back like a year later" too cliche or nah?

Notes: So after so long, it’s finally finished! This nearing 3.5k monster of an imagine gave me so much trouble and if it weren’t for all the support from you guys, I’m sure I would’ve never finished it! I’m still not 100% happy with some parts of it, but you know what. I’ve kept you guys waiting for long enough. So please, enjoy this imagine that’s long overdue! 

P.S. I always wanted to write these cliche imagines, so thank you anon for sending this in

Ft: Gaius

He dove to catch you, shielding you with his body, uncaring as his knees took the full brunt of impact with the ground to cushion your fall. “Oi… why did you have to go and do that now?” 

Breathless, his whole form shook as he clung to you, as tight as he dared - which was not nearly tight enough but he feared you’ll shatter in his grip and where would that leave him?

Where would that leave him?

He shook his head in angry refusal even as you began to speak. Not now. Not yet. Apologies he assumed, apologies he didn’t want to hear. He fought against the rising tide of hysteria within himself even as his expression cracked with pain and the damnable tears swelled to blur his vision. “Bubbles..” His voice was empty, broken, as he thumbed away the tears he’s scattering on your cheeks.

Why?

“You promised..” he accused weakly.

“Sorry..” your lips brushed against his, apologetic, weak.

Gaius choked back a sob as he resisted the urge to curl over you, to keep you to his chest and hide you from the fate you’ve doomed yourself. 

“You’re terrible you know?” He gasped softly, pressing hard kisses against your lips, using everything he has to stop from flying apart then and there. It was horrible. Agonising. “Terrible.”

“Stay out of trouble won’t you?” 

He couldn’t help it, he laughed. Hysteria and indescribable horror rolled into one as the tears escaped from the corners of his eyes. It was all so wrong. 

“The same way you did?” The whisper was out before he could stop it- all bitterness and spite-  and he sobbed in disgust as shame and revulsion welled up immediately and strangled his apologies. I’m despicable. 

Yet your expression never betrayed disappointment and somehow that hurt even worse. He knew he’d deserve it, he’d much rather take your scolding and disappointment than your understanding and acceptance that he don’t deserve. 

Instead, you reached up with the tips of your fingers to caress him and he held onto your icy hand with the desperation of a drowning man clinging to a buoy too small to hold his weight. He shook his head in a silent plea, blinking furiously to clear the tears that were blurring your contours. Tears, only tears, people don’t fade, especially you, you, who can shine brighter than the sun at times, you, who meant the whole damn world to him.

“I love you.” Your voice was so faint.

Don’t. Please don’t. The agonised keen that slipped from his lips was barely human. “Don’t leave me.” He begged you and he rarely begged, not truly, not wholly, not with his entire life and soul willed into it. Gaius never begged like this. Naga above, anything, anythi-

Without warning, without prelude, your weight in his arms disappeared as if you’d simply never been there at all. No parting last words, no lingering kisses. Just gone.

Not even dust remained. 

 X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X

It never gets any less awkward despite the frequency of his visits. He never knows what to do with himself, never really knows what he’s expecting to get out of it, never truly there the moment he passed through those large oaken doors.

He ended up standing in the large halls for a while, stuck a step into a place of faith and a step away from reality. 

Eventually though, he finds a seat and it’s always cold. He propped his feet on the bench in front and stared at the looming figure. Nothing comes to mind at first but then he settled, the walls fall like they’re made of sand and it all comes roaring back. 

“So what do I get then? A lifetime together with you? Always and forever?”

His swore his heart had stopped then and there because here he was thinking it’ll never happen, you’re leagues above him and he’s just a miserable thief, you’re going to let him down gently and he’ll try to act cool about it all the while planning different spots to bury himself- wait a minute, did you say ‘forever’? With him? “I…guess?” he choked out.

“Is that asking too much?”

His heart slammed back into his chest. “No way!” he swept you into his arms immediately, crushing you to his chest as he laughed. “That’s a piece of cake! Right then, it’s a deal. I promise to make you happy for the rest of your life!” 

Gaius didn’t bother swiping the tears from his eyes, there’s no hiding here. He took his feet off the bench and rested his arms on his thighs and stared at the ground. 

“You never promised to come back.” He said finally. It was a statement, not an accusation. He’s not sure how he’s suppose to feel but surely awe shouldn’t be one of them? That fateful day replayed in his mind many, many times, never once did he pass a day without feeling its haunting claws across his consciousness. Even sleep would not allow him escape. For so long he agonised over the last conversation he had with you. So flawed, so angry, so devastating. 

Gaius crumpled, gasping a sob as he drew his knees to his chest.

“You knew…” He whispered, tortured. You knew him too well. You knew his skepticism would blind him, you knew he would be too emotional to believe in vague promises, you knew that you hurt him and so in your last moments you refused to lie to him. Your one small act of mercy. 

You told him you loved him. 

His shoulders shook with the strength of his sobs. 

There’s nothing he can bring himself to trust, not the magic of friendship or bonds or deities; he’s never been a religious man, never been a man of much faith- so you asked him to trust in the love you shared. You asked him to believe.

“Is that asking too much?”

“No..” he choked a bitter laugh, digging the heel of his palm into his swollen eyes. “You always ask too much.”

“Always and forever?”

“And still,” he sobbed, “every time…”

He fell to his knees on the ground, “..you didn’t even let me say it back.” His head fell back defeated and closed his eyes, breathing ragged and broken. 

“..I love you.”

Always and forever.

X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X

“Uncle Gaius!”

That’s his new name nowadays. First name Uncle, last name Gaius. 

And the sound of it drew the blood out of his face faster than any ugly risen would. “Oh no.” He shoved the bowl he was holding into Morgan’s expectant hands, scowling at the knowing smirk on their face as he began to rip off the ties of his apron. “Not a word.” he warned, flinging the cumbersome apron away as he vaulted over the counter, knocking down a tray of unbaked cookies in his haste.

Gaius swore loudly as he eyed the broken, now inedible creations on the ground, then up towards the doorway as the pitter patter of footsteps grew nearer. The man was obviously torn between mourning for the ruined creations and fleeing the crime scene before whoever’s approaching catches him and his flight instincts won - just seconds too late.

“Candy, candy!” A blur of blue hair and tiny limbs crashed into his legs, threatening his balance and he would’ve fallen to the ground had he not caught the edge of the counter to steady himself. Oh no. He glanced down in absolute horror and fear into bright blue eyes and all-too charming smile. “Uncle Gaius!” the young princess squealed happily. 

“Little Blue…” Gaius grimaced, scowling at the barely masked chuckles of Morgan behind him. He lifted the young toddler and settled her on a clean corner of the counter, grinning despite himself as she laughed in delight.

“Candy! Candy!” Gaius winced, this was the part he dreaded most.

“What candy, Little Blue, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Play dumb, Gaius, play it cool, curb the urge to wipe the smirk from Morgan’s face with a rolling pin.

Two little hands slapped onto his cheeks on either side and the thief found himself trapped against sky blues and an exalt brand staring him down. “Candy.” 

He gulped. ”Nwo candeh.” He mumbled stubbornly then watched in horror as baby Lucina’s lips wobbled and water filled her eyes-

“Alright alright! Candy!” Gaius yelped, reaching into one of many hidden pockets and took out a small pack of sweets. Lucina was overjoyed but he found her excited giggles less amusing this time around. 

“You’re not going to have any teeth left by the time you’re all grown up.” He grumbled, never ever having felt so selfless in his life as he watched Lucina  devour his stash. 

It came as a surprise to everyone when the baby princess grew so attached to Gaius. He often told others that it’s because of his natural charm and charisma but everyone knew Gaius’ sweet stash drew kids to him like butterflies to nectar. That the castle doesn’t exactly burn down when he’s stuck with a child blew everyone away. Naturally, Gaius had taken offence at everyone’s astounding lack of faith in him. 

“Hi Lucy!” Morgan chirped, rounding the corner of the counter to high five the young princess. ‘Lucy’ was the nickname everyone gave the young toddler. “What brings you here?”

“Mor-Mor!” the young child chirped happily, generously sharing her pouch of sweets with Morgan but slapped away Gaius’ hands when he reached for it. “Mine!” She giggled at Gaius’ offended expression. “Cookies! Cookies!”

“First she robs me of my sweets, now she robs me of my hard work.” He grumbled but obediently handed over a cookie nonetheless, earning a toothy smile from the toddler.

“So that’s where you ran off to.” Lucina, the older one, rounded the corner with a fond smile, the scene before her awkwardly familiar. “You aren’t causing too much trouble for Gaius are you?” the princess smiled apologetically as she picked up her younger self.

“Nu-uh.” “She is.” Both Lucy and Gaius replied at the same time. 

“Nanny is looking everywhere for you its time for your nap-“ Lucina started but was interrupted when Lucy slapped a tiny hand over her mouth. “Wait! I have a secret to tell Uncle Gaius!”

“Oh? Well now, wouldn’t want to miss out on those juicy castle gossip do we?” Gaius played along even as he shrugged in answer to Lucina’s unspoken question. Neither Gaius or Morgan knew that Lucy came with a mission in mind apart from thinning Gaius’ stash honestly. “Shoot, Little Blue.”

“Okay, okay!” the young princess lowered her voice, “but you gotta pinky swear not to tell anyone!”

“Cross my heart and stick a dagger in my eye, princess.” Gaius said dryly as he curled his pinky around hers, missing the wary look shared between Lucina and Morgan.

“Aunty Olivia told me today..” the little one really had a flair for dramatics as she lowered her voice and despite it, everyone leaned forward. “..there’s going to be a little brother Inigo!”

“s’bout time.” Gaius smirked as he ruffled Lucy’s hair playfully, the others smiling at the great news. The concept of peace had taken a few months to sink into the Halidom, perhaps longer still for those who fought to achieve it. Lissa’s announcement of pregnancy was what finally drove the idea home, and soon, one after another, happy news began to fill the castle halls. Everyone knew no one was more excited than young Lucy, who was more than ready to be a big sister.

“I for one, knew Inigo was very relieved to learn of the news.” Lucina grinned which prompted a bark of laughter from Gaius as it’s no secret that Inigo’s been facing some sort of existential crisis lately.

“You’re going to have a lot of friends to play with soon.” Gaius said and Lucy bobbed her head in agreement. 

“I can’t wait till I can play with little uncle Gaius too!”

There was a beat of silence before everything went downhill from there. Morgan was laughing so hard they couldn’t stand straight, Lucina had covered her face in utter mortification and Gaius.. Gaius believed his soul just left his body.

“There’s not going to be any little Gaius’ running around.” He said weakly when he finally found his voice. A muscle underneath his eye twitched even as he said those cursed words. Morgan was choking. Lucina was trying unsuccessfully to hush her younger self. Lucy was confused but all the commotion made her excited nonetheless. “Yes there is! There’s little Yarney, little Kjelle, little Laurey and little Inigo! Later there’s going to be little papa and mama too!” Lucy argued confidently. 

“It doesn’t work that way,” he fumbled. Ah hells, how does one go about explaining time travel and parallel selves to a little kid? Naga, he’s not even sure he understands it that well himself! “Uh.. look.. there’s going to be little versions of big brothers and sisters, like Gerome and Brady and Severa and Nah. But there’s no little papa, mama, aunties or uncles, alright?”

Lucy’s face furrowed in confusion, “So there’s no little Aunty Sully?”

“No.” Gaius confirmed weakly.

“No little Uncle Stahl?”

“No.”

“No…little Uncle Gaius?”

“No, definitely no.”

Lucy pouted, rather disappointed by this turn of events but then her face brightened suddenly. “What about-“

“Lucy…” Lucina pleaded.

But the young princess was not about to be deterred. “What about little Morgan?”

What about little Morgan?

“Y-yeah! Of course there’s going to be a little me!” Morgan stammered quickly when Gaius took a bit too long to reply.

“Yeah, of course.” Gaius recovered with a timid smile. “You’ll be having fun with little Morgan too.”

“Yay! When will I-“

“Lucy do you hear that?” Lucina interrupted, “I think that’s Uncle Frederick returning from his patrol. If you catch him now maybe he’ll let you feed the horse.”

The mention of petting animals seem to distract the princess much to the relief of the two time travellers in the room. “Horsey! Horsey!”

“Alright let’s go then, say bye to Gaius and Morgan.” Lucina prompted quickly which Lucy happily obliged, wriggling within the arms of her older self who let her down gently. “Bye Uncle Gaius and Mor-Mor!” The young princess threw out as she pattered out, barely looking back.

“Wait for me Lucy!” Lucina called, jogging to the door but hesitated at entrance, her expression somber as she fidgeted uncomfortably. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know-”

“It’s alright.” Gaius interrupted. “You should catch up to your little self before she- uh, you, get lost.” 

Lucina looked torn. “Y-yes of course… I just..” 

Gaius laughed, startling the princess and Morgan both. “Look, princess, it’s alright. Little you can’t help what you don’t know yet. It’s alright. We’re made of tougher material than that.“

“Of course…” 

“We’ll be fine Lucina.” Morgan pitched in and Gaius could feel their hand on his shoulder, a stabilising force. Lucina looked from Morgan to Gaius still hesitant but it wasn’t until Gaius waved her off did she finally leave to chase after her younger self.

For a few moments, Gaius stared at the vacant doorway, lost in thoughts before finally turning to meet Morgan’s gaze. “I’m sorry Morgan…”

“What- no Father, why are you apologizing? It’s not your fault!“

No, Gaius supposed it’s not his fault. He’d almost forgotten too. That once, there was promise of being a family…

Although Lucy never managed to finish her question, the unspoken words echoed hauntingly in his mind.

‘When will I get to meet little Morgan?’

“Kids these days say the darnest things..” he murmured as he bent to pick up the fallen tray of cookies on the ground. 

“Father…”

“I‘m alright.” He grimaced and he could see from the sad expression on Morgan’s face that it wasn’t working. The hurt was dripping out the cracks and he wasn’t fooling anyone. He tried to keep it together. But the smile on his face felt foreign. The world was off-kilter and there was a gaping you-shaped hole in his being.

Naga, the tray clattered on the ground as he hid behind his hands. Even after so long, it still hurts so much.

X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X • X

He rested on the crest of a hill, with Ylisse’s capital laid and stretched out before him. Here atop this hill, he supposed he saw the view an Exalt would. 

The citadel gleamed in pastel hues of predawn light, an unmistakable symbol of the capital’s heart, next to it, was Ylisse’s bustling sea port best known for its markets filled with goods from all around the world.  Past that, were the rolling hills and forests that surrounded the castle and perhaps if he had a viewing glass he’d be able to see Ferox’s Great Walls looming in the distance as well.

Gaius rolled the lemon lollipop in his mouth, savouring the sweet tanginess that teased his tastebuds. “Maybe it’s time for a trip.” It was getting quite stuffy and he’s been getting the itch to move for a while. A change of scenery would be nice. Refreshing. He’s really not a man to be kept cooped in a castle, lounging around with nothing to do. He could feel himself rotting away and that won’t do.

Morgan’s old enough now, he’s sure they’ll be able to manage.

He peered into the distance, with his arms crossed against his chest as his lips twitched in a grin. “Sounds like a grand adventure huh. Wonder what kind of mischief I’ll get into.”

The wind rustled through his hair, “Stay out of trouble won’t you?” it sang with your voice today.

Gaius grinned. “That’s tough baby. Trouble’s my middle name after all.” He smiled.

He stretched with a yawn before bending to pick up the pack by the side. “It’s been great hanging out with y’all. Don’t hate on me too much for booking it the cowards way but you know, a thief’s gonna be a thief no matter what. Maybe I’ll be back to visit or maybe not, who knows?” He twirled the stick of candy in his mouth thoughtfully. “Heard there’s some bandits kicking up quite a storm up North. Maybe I’ll go pay them a visit.” He nodded to himself, resolve made. He tightened his hold on his pack and turned, slowly making his way down the hill, that was until a voice behind him stopped him.

“Leaving already?”

Naga, give me a break. The thief sighed heavily through his nose, eyes closing as he spoke. “There’s nothing here.“

“But I just got back.” the wind rustled through the leaves and for a moment he thought he’s still dreaming when he felt fingers card through his hair. 

“Gaius… I’m back.”

If this is another one of my hallucinations again… he screwed his eyes shut and grounded his teeth. But your voice sounded real, and the warmth on his cheeks felt so intense. He opened his eyes.

“Hi, love.” your smile was tired, drowsy even but all Gaius could think of was how perfect it was.

He didn’t know what to say. Didn’t even know where to begin. Is that really you? When did you get here? Are you okay? You’re really here?

“You’re back?” he asked weakly and so softly as if he’s scared that if he so much as breathe wrong, he would shatter you. He looked you over. As beautiful and perfect since the day he met you. He daren’t breathe. You’re back? Truly?

There were tears in your eyes as you smiled. “Yes.”

That was enough for Gaius. He swept you into his arms and crushed you to his chest, kissing you like his life depended on it. It did, by the Gods, it did.

“You’re back.” he choked out as he sobbed into your shoulder and hugged you tighter. “You’re really here.”

You could barely breathe with how tight he was holding you and so you nodded even as you felt your own tears fill your eyes and his sobs intensified. 

The world that wasn’t quite alright in his books snapped back along its axis, time which had stopped for him, started moving again and the void within his being, sealed close with the warmth he held within his arms. It’s not alright, it’s not yet fine, but finally, finally, it can start getting better.

He missed his chance once. He’ll not miss it another time.

“I love you.” He told you, kissing you. “I love you, always and forever.”

Always and forever.

#fire emblem #fire emblem awakening #fire emblem imagines #fe13 #imagines #angst #sacrifice ending #gaius #reunion #there actually was another extra part written #but i felt like at that point i was just rambling #still doesn't flow quite right #but it needs to get out before i scrap the whole thin in a fit of madness #boy oh boy #have i forgotten how to angst

[lilacmoon83]

Finding You Always

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Chapter 182: Endgame, Pt 1

Gothel admired the glowing resurrection amulet, as it pulsed with sheer power. In theory, the amulet could bring back someone from the dead, which was normally a direct violation of the laws of magic. But the price of doing so was predictable. The resurrection amulet required a life for a life, therefore becoming a loophole to that rule. But it wouldn't have been the first time a law of magic was defied. After all, they were called laws for a reason, which ultimately meant they could be broken.

There were three defined laws of magic that were top tiers when it came to the rules of magic. Bringing someone back to life was one and it had already been broken. Hades broke it when he revived the Collector; a true waste of a broken rule and she was sure that was something they could all agree on. Theoretically, the powers that be, whether one believed that was the power of the cosmos, Gods, or some other mystical force, often managed to punish those that broke the laws in one way or another. Proof of that could be argued by Hades' demise. Not only was he killed, but completely erased from existence.

There were loopholes to that rule though and it was intriguing that the pair before her had suffered no consequences when they sought to defy death. The Goddess Aphrodite had taken a lot of extra precautions in order to protect her charges this time around, but those protections should have been bypassed when Snow White crushed her own husband's heart. But she had brought him back only minutes later by having her heart split in half. Under the law of magic that stated no one could be brought back to life, such an endeavor should have failed. Yet, because of who they were, they were allowed to slip through that loophole and succeed. Some might argue that the trade off to that was that this pair, while deeply in love and happy together, rarely knew peace. These two humans should be as fragile and easy to kill as any others really. But they weren't. Killing them had been proven to be much harder than it should be and she was determined to be the one to do it.

The second law and its purpose was a bit lost on her. But history was riddled with the failures in breaking this one. Forcing someone to fall in love with another. She really knew nothing of love and had no desire to. But the pair before her had mastered love in every way. It was why they were so hard to kill. It was why they had such magic and had created a rich legacy of love and magical offspring. And it was why she needed them to make the resurrection amulet do what she wanted.

Long ago, its mysterious creation had been intended to break that first law. Whoever had created it, the identity of whom still remained a mystery, probably intended to bring someone back by sacrificing another. But for what Gothel intended, it required star seeds or gems, as they were sometimes known. Everyone had star gems inside them, but most were not magical. However, certain people had very powerful ones and the two most powerful ones in existence were in front of her. She almost scoffed at that too. She wasn't sure how such powerful star gems existed inside two beings who, for all intents and purposes, should be fairly weak in the grand scheme of things. Powerful star gems potentially had unlimited and unparalleled power. To be fair, no one really knew the full potential of star gems and no one really knew who had created them. Star gems inside people was something unique to their sector of nine realms. There was likely other things among the infinite realms that were similar, but Gothel knew that the right star gems could remake the world into what she wanted it to be. The resurrection amulet was simply a tool to harness and focus their power. She was sure just by using the dark, mysterious object that she was about to shatter the laws of magic. But she didn't foresee any consequences, for once she had those star gems from the truest loves, she would become the most powerful being in these nine realms. When that happened, she could basically rewrite the laws of magic any way she wanted to, for she would be more powerful than any of the Gods of Olympus or any being in any realm within their sector.

Laws were meant to be broken, after all and the pair before her had broken the third law, with their consequence being separated by another curse. They had broken the law of time travel unintentionally. Usually, time travel was expressly forbidden, because traveling to the past could jeopardize all sentient life. The prospect of meddling with the past could have untold consequences and disrupting time was considered a grievous sin by the Gods. And it was also messing with aspects of science that shouldn't have been tampered with. Facilier wanted to travel back and they had been sent to the past, albeit only about five years. With that law being broken, it was hard to say what kinds of consequences it might have. But since all these so-called heroes were about to die by her hand, she supposed that was a moot point. Time was about to become irrelevant, for she was resetting the clock on this world. Humanity would wither and her perfect Eden would grow. It seemed the two idiots were intent on fighting her though and were presenting quite a defense, which meant she needed a defense of her own.

"Time to take things up a notch," she said, as the ominous clouds above flashed violently with lightning and boomed with thunder. They watched the vines around them begin to convulse and screeching was heard, as they came to life in a new way. The vines sprouted arms, legs, and heads, which came complete with a full set of sharp teeth.

"Holy crap," Emma exclaimed.

"It's like Little Shop O' Horrors on steroids," she commented. Leo cocked his head to the side, acknowledging her reference.

"I was going to say it's like a bunch of Groots if Groot was evil, but yours works too," he replied. But there was more, as some of the vines sprouted flowers, which opened up into Venus flytraps, also complete with sharp, vicious teeth.

"And now we have piranha plants from Super Mario," Leo deadpanned. Screams ensued, as the creatures attacked and it was up to them to stop them from hurting people.

"Leo...start zapping. Regina...light them up wherever you can," Emma directed, as she watched the Venus flytraps start shooting poison darts.

"Summer...circle the perimeter and get as many of those darts into bubbles as you can," Emma said. Summer nodded.

"I'll start healing people that get hit," Eva said, as she hurried off with a very confused Dr. Narita in tow.

"What can I do?" Bobby asked.

"You can stay close to us," Snow answered.

"But Mom...I can help," he insisted.

"I need shock waves from you, kid. Hit 'em at their roots and dust them," Emma said.

"Yes…" Bobby cheered, as he ran off.

"Bobby...be careful!" Snow called frantically.

"I got him," Henry assured, as he followed him, armed with a sword, taking Jacinda and Lucy with him.

"What can I do? Ana and I can help," Drizella offered. Snow and Charming exchanged a glance.

"This is the epicenter. There's too many innocent people around. Start leading people away. Keep them out of buildings and structures," David instructed. She nodded and they left for their task as well.

"Need I remind you that none of this will matter if you don't take her out," Rumple reminded, as he indicted Gothel, who stood about twenty feet above them in a nest type structure that her plants had woven together to create for her, like some living plant Throne.

"Yeah, I'm over the creepy Little Shop O' Horrors vibe she's got going on," Emma commented. Snow glanced at her husband and followed his vision, as his eyes were locked on the structure that the witch's vines had created. Where the community garden had once been was now a very tall mass of vines, like a jungle had literally sprouted from the ground. Her nest was a top the structure and somehow, she knew what he was thinking. But she asked anyway.

"I know that look...you have a plan," she mentioned.

"Of sorts...but it's nuts," he replied. She smiled, despite the situation.

"I'd probably be disappointed if it wasn't," she offered.

"Weaver is right. Any plants we slice or burn up out here won't matter. That thing she's created will just create more. We have to go in there and destroy it from the inside," he replied.

"Which is probably what she wants," Snow agreed. He scoffed.

"Oh yeah...it's a trap for sure. But none of this stops unless we stop her in the source. That's where the amulet is," he responded. She nodded and threaded her fingers with his.

"Guys…" Emma called, as they turned back to her, seeing the palpable worry on her face.

"We'll be okay…" Snow assured. Tears brimmed her eyes, as she wondered if her mother could really promise that.

"You better be," Emma replied. David gave her a gentle smile and she could only watch her parents rush into the epicenter of the massive tangle of vines. Emma then rushed off to help handle more of the chaos and failed to notice Clayton following her parents in…

~*~

"This is insane!" Jacinda cried, as she watched Henry slice through more of the living plants.

"I know...and though it will still be nuts, I promise it will make sense when the curse breaks," he promised, as they approached a wall of the greenery, complete with several man-eating plants. Bobby hurried in front of them and they, plus all standing trapped by the plants, watched in amazement. Bobby's hands lit with silver magic, as he thrust his hands toward the ground, sending his power beneath the surface. Silver pulses traveled up the vines and the man-eating plants screeched in pain, as they were all turned to ash. Henry smiled.

"Nice...your powers are getting crazy strong, kid," he said, as they high-fived.

~*~

Leo exhausted a dangerous amount of lightning into the large curling vine that was wrapped around Belfry Tower. He growled under the strain, as the vine convulsed and tried to overcome his power. But he pressed on and it finally uncoiled from the building, before slamming dead to the ground. He heaved air into his lungs, as Eva put a hand on his shoulder, before her pink magic swirled around her and she levitated herself into the air. Her wind magic carried her and her confused husband, who still had no memory into an opening of the damaged building.

"I promise it will make sense eventually," she offered, as his face showed utter disbelief. He took a deep breath and followed her with his bag, as they began tending to the injured.

~*~

Several poison barbs were encased in bubbles and floated harmlessly into the sky, as Summer stopped them from pelting the innocent people below. Regina and Gold stood on either side of her, along with Belle, as they used fire to burn up the plethora of flora life that was growing wildly around the city.

"This is insane…" Regina growled, as she blasted another Venus flytrap before it could snap up any innocent bystander.

"And this is worse than New York. We might not be able to put this genie back in the bottle so to speak," Belle mentioned, as she did her best, armed with a cutlass.

"Then we better hope that once this is over that Snow and Charming can open a portal to the future and get us the hell out of here," Regina commented, as she destroyed more.

"And why isn't this damn curse broken yet? Those two have kissed and saved their daughter, but no rainbow light," Regina added, side eyeing her old mentor.

"Don't look at me...I don't know what's holding this one back," he answered, as Summer spotted two people that she knew being cornered by one of the man-eating plants. The floral monsters screeched angrily, as it fired two poison darts at Frankie and Joe. She gasped and released two bubbles, saving them from the poison. They looked at her in astonishment, just as Regina turned the plant to ash.

"Joe...Frankie...what are you doing here?" Summer asked.

"I don't know...we just felt like this is where we needed to be," Frankie replied.

"We somehow knew that family needed us, even if we're still trying to wrap our heads around this," Joe added. Summer sighed.

"I know...it's a lot," she agreed.

"Where are your parents?" Frankie asked. Summer looked over at the virtual palace that Gothel had created from her vines and plants.

"In there…" she uttered, as they looked on, wondering what was happening inside.

~*~

Snow and Charming walked cautiously into the structure, hand in hand, finding that Gothel had created her own little palace out of it. And though it appeared to be purely made of an intricate web of vines and flora life, they knew the structure was probably nearly indestructible. They reached what appeared to be like a Throne room and watched Gothel's nest descend from atop the structure and situate itself far above them.

"You two will be a fitting feast for my lovelies," Gothel commented, as two plants, with snapping jaws, loomed behind them. But David was quick to cut them down and his sword, powered by the chalice, turned them to ash.

"Yeah...plant food is not how this is going to end for us," he challenged. Gothel smirked.

"I had hoped you'd save yourselves all the pain to come by giving into the inevitable. Surrendering your star gems will ensure far less pain than if I have to take them by force," she warned. Snow glowered at the woman and fired an arrow at her. The woman easily caught it, but her surprise was palpable when it exploded. It scorched her nest and she plummeted to the ground before them, singed and seething with anger.

"You will pay for that, Princess…" she hissed, as she climbed to her feet. The explosion had rendered her human appearance null and she was now in her natural form. Blue tinted skin and sea green hair. Her limbs also seemed to take on a boneless-type quality when she moved, much like her living flora. Her dress was red and complete with a cloak, both tattered and weathered.

"We'll see…" David retorted. But she smirked.

"The Earth once belonged to my people...until it was stolen by humans," she growled.

"You humans destroy and pillage everything in your wake. You feared my people and destroyed them!" she raged.

"We didn't do any of that. Not all humans are alike. Punishing all for the actions of a few is wrong," Snow stated righteously.

"No...you're all the same. You're an infection upon my beautiful garden and one that I plan to cure," she argued.

"Then we'll stop you...and destroy you," David promised. She smirked.

"You will try," she challenged, as there was a shuddering beneath their feet. Massive vines sprouted around them and they had to flee the coils. David grabbed her hand and they ran, as Gothel's monstrous flora chased them through the structure. By now, the moving and evolving structure was a sheer labyrinth. They dodged and darted through and around coiled and twisted vines. They soon realized they were now far above solid ground and a misstep could send them plummeting back down to either the ground or into the coils of a vine ready to constrict the life out of them.

"Any more ideas?" Snow asked offhandedly, as they climbed around the twisted mess of vegetation.

"Not really...but you know I usually never really have a plan. I just make it up as I go along," he quipped in reply, as they reached a large gap in the vegetation. And jumping was too dangerous, for a Venus flytrap was directly below them, snapping its powerful jaws.

"Now what?" Snow asked, as he looked up and sliced through one of the thinner vines. He sheathed his sword and then grasped the vine firmly. He wrapped his free arm around Snow's waist and pulled her flush against him. She knew he intended to swing them over the gap and she snaked her arms tightly around his waist.

"Don't drop me," she teased.

"Never," he promised.

"But a good luck kiss wouldn't hurt anything," he added. She smiled and kissed him passionately, before he swung them over to the other side. He let go of the vine and they stood precariously on the slippery and unstable vines beneath their feet. They carefully moved away from the gap, but as Snow happened to glance back, she saw Clayton swinging his way over to them. She gasped, but not in time, as the Collector knocked her husband off the beam.

"Charming!" she cried, as he hung dangerously above a man-eating plant. Without thinking, she kicked Clayton in the chest, sending him back. Unfortunately, he grabbed the vine and swung back to their beam. Snow helped David pull himself up and he drew his sword to defend them. Clayton stood before them again and drew his own sword.

"Only one of you has to die and I can take control of the chalice," he stated.

"Which would mean nothing. We're the only ones that can defeat Gothel," Snow replied.

"So you say...but if I have the power again, I know I can make mulch out of her," he boasted.

"Except that I know for a fact that you can't. Queen Serenity...my predecessor told me such," Snow claimed.

"A Queen that's been dead for three thousand years? The one that failed to fully defeat Gothel in the first place?" he questioned sarcastically.

"Forgive me if I don't put much stalk in that," he responded, as he stood poised for battle with his nemesis'.

"Fighting us won't end well for you," David warned. Clayton smirked smugly.

"I'll take my chances, Charming," he retorted, as their blades clashed, while Snow stood by, ready with an arrow. They dueled precariously on the winding and twisted network of vines that were woven throughout Gothel's treacherous and warped Eden. Clayton made a risky leap to another platform, trying to gain an upper ground on them, but Snow was ready and fired an arrow. It exploded and burned up the fauna around him, as he fell to a platform just below them.

"You'll pay for that, Snow White," he growled, as he chased them through the maze of deadly precipices. Snow and David climbed around the vines and managed to find the top finally, while Clayton sliced through another thin vine, intending to use it to get to them. But David was seeing from his position that he wouldn't be able to without risking his life. If he missed, it would be sudden doom for him.

"I'll give you two a moment to discuss who gets to die," Clayton boosted, as he prepared to swing himself to them.

"You don't want to do that. You'll never make it...we have the higher ground," David warned.

"Like I said before...I'll take my chances, Your Highness," he retorted. They watched as he swung himself up and over to their platform, barely touching the edge of it. His smirk was smug, but he had swung through many more vines that were around him and those vines suddenly pulled him back. They watched as now he was suspended in the air by the vines and he fought them by slicing through them. Clayton sliced his way out and jumped toward their platform, but he missed and Snow gasped, as they watched in horror, as he slipped upside down and there was a strangled noise, as well as a sickening snap. They looked over the edge cautiously and gasped, as they saw that Clayton had essentially hung himself by accident and swung there dead, suspended by the vines that became his end. Snow cried out and turned away from the gruesome sight, as it instantly got worse, as two Venus flytraps shot up and tore the body to shreds, consuming him as food.

"Ohhh…" she groaned, as her stomach churned at the sounds of crunching bones, while she buried her face in David's chest.

"Well...as disturbing as that was, it was well deserved," David said and she couldn't disagree with that. The Collector had was evil and his obsession with killing one of them to gain the power of the Chalice had daunted them for far too long. Thankfully, this time there would be no resurrection for him. He was gone for good and despite all that still faced them, his demise was a victory for them. They usually didn't find comfort in anyone's death, even their enemies, but the Collector leading to his own undoing was more than fitting. Snow sighed and relished his lips, as he pressed them to her forehead. She knew they probably had mere moments until chaos erupted around them again, but oh how she wished they could just go home, away from all this ugliness.

"We'll get there, my darling," he promised. She smiled.

"Reading my thoughts, handsome?" she teased. He smiled.

"More like feeling them through you," he corrected. And she had to agree. She wasn't sure it was possible, but it truly seemed that their love managed to grow every day.

"So...any more to this plan of yours?" she asked.

"Not really, but I'm not a fan of this hide and seek game she's playing. I say we make her take us on directly," he replied.

"Then we need to bring this thing down, which is a lot of magic," she agreed. He smirked.

"Which we have," he said, as they grasped the chalice together. A beam of light slammed into the roof of the warped nightmare of a palace, quickly eating away at it. Once they had an exit, David grabbed a couple vines and they scaled the wall, before climbing out on top of it.

By then, most of their friends and family had gathered around, seeing the peculiar light coming from Gothel's garden monstrosity.

"We could use a bubble, peanut," David called down. Summer smiled and released one, which encased her parents safely inside and transported them to the ground, before popping.

"Let's take it down," David said, as they surrounded the structure and unleashed an assault of magic. Regina and Gold shot several fireballs at it, setting it ablaze. Bobby released shock waves into the ground going after the roots and while they were stunned by his power, Elsa released her ice powers into the ground, freezing the roots and killing them. Leo continued to hit the structure with his lightning powers, while Emma used beams of white magic to do the same. Alice stared at the structure and looked unsure, but soon felt a hand on her shoulder.

"You can do this, starfish...they need you," Hook encouraged.

"I know...but I think I'm supposed to do something else first. I'm the Guardian…" she said, as she started toward Snow and Charming, just as Gothel's palace collapsed to mulch. She emerged from the smoke, seething with rage and unscathed.

"Whoa...what happened to her?" Leo asked, referring to her shocking appearance.

"She is a nymph. Her mother was Mother Nature. This is her true form," Rumple answered. Alice fired her golden colored magic at her biological mother, but she batted the attack away like nothing.

"I'm through playing," she growled, as they watched in horror, as vine-like tentacles sprouted from her very being and she hit Alice first, knocking her away.

"Tilly!" Margot cried, as she and Hook rushed to her. Leo and Elsa rushed her next, ready to blast her with their powers, but she was ready, as her powerful tentacles swept them away as well. She smirked and blew golden dust on them.

"Can you move?" Leo asked.

"No…" she groaned, realizing they were both paralyzed by her pollen.

"All right, let's fry this bitch," Regina growled, as she and Rumple prepared to unleash their fireballs at her. But there was a rumbling beneath them and Belle, as more vines re-emerged from the ground, despite Bobby and Elsa's efforts to kill the roots and the three of them were captured within the coils.

"Hey tree huger...over here!" Emma called, as her magic collided with Gothel's. But the witch smirked, as she easily overpowered the Savior, allowing a vine to coil around her.

"Not today, Savior," Gothel cooed, as she moved toward Snow and Charming.

"Surrender your star gems and I'll make the deaths of everyone you love quick and painless," she offered.

"Save it," David retorted.

"We're not afraid to fight you," Snow added, as they stood strong before her, armed with the chalice. She smirked.

"Pity...I was hoping to spare your children from seeing the gruesome deaths that await you both," she retorted, as her tentacles slithered toward them and they knew that this battle had only just begun...

#Snowing #SnowxCharming #Charming family #OC Charmings #Snowing & Charming family centric season 7 #Hyperion Heights #AU #roni #Weaver #Rogers #romance #adventure #family #finding you always #the epic continues

[writing-is-my-backup-plan]

Borne on the Wings of Steel Part 2: Soaring on the Wings of Dawn

Summary:  You always felt like you didn’t belong, that something was inadvertently wrong with your surroundings.  Your life was simple; had a rental you called home, a normal and routine job, and a couple of friends from college.  One day, however, you wake up in a strange room with symbols covering every surface of the walls.  After two disgruntled and confused hunters find you, you discover that you are now in your favorite T.V. show.  The Winchesters try to help you get back to your universe, but what if maybe it isn’t where you were meant to be?

Pairing: Castiel x Reader

Genre/Warnings: Soulmate!AU, Season 13 spoilers, fluff, multiple universes, mommy issues, Gabriel, Luci, cursing, and of course shit writing.

Words: ~2.4 k

a/n: I never thought so many would enjoy part 1!  I have been so excited to write this next part that I only hope it lives up to half the hype you guys have for this series.  This is literally my second fic, and I never thought I would see over 100 notes on one chapter ever.  Not to mention all the lovely comments you all have been leaving.  Thank you for making a girl feel special! :’)

FYI SEASON 13 SPOILERS and slight deviation from cannon!  This story begins during and after 13x18.

Series List | Part 1 | Part 3 --> (coming soon)

The tension in the room was almost unbearable.  Sam, Dean, and Castiel all watched Gabriel closely, almost ready to pounce on him should he move; something must have happened that you did not witness. Apparently finding his courage, Castiel moved towards you and the weeping angel with something metallic in his hands; it wasn’t his angel blade, but you knew whatever it was it would harm Gabriel.  Your muscles reacted instantly as you side stepped out of Gabriel’s grip and walked around him to use yourself as a barrier between the two angels.

“Cas…” You trailed off in warning.

Disregarding your threat, he reached up to push you out of the way, preparing what you now recognized as a grace extractor in his other hand.  Angered by his audacity to ignore you, you swatted his hand away. “Castiel, this is not a good time. Back off.”

He rolled his eyes and continued his advance.  When you wouldn’t budge, he spoke harshly to you.  “Get out of the way.  We lost him once, and I am not failing again.  He has more than enough grace, extracting a little won’t hurt him.”

You placed a hand behind you on Gabriel’s back, reassuring him that you weren’t going to abandon him. Glaring back into Castiel’s predatorial eyes, you berated him.  “Is this what you meant by ‘Whatever it takes.’?  To go against so many of your vows – do you even having any vows left to break?  This is your brother, who has been beaten and nearly destroyed.  He has done so much for you, yet here you stand to milk him of his grace like a cow.  Stand. Down. NOW.”

The Winchesters gasped at your bravery.  To order an Angel to stand down, that took some guts.  What was even more surprising is that he listened.  Your words were knives straight into his very soul; how many times had he done this?  How many times had he gone too far, how many more times would he before he learned?  His stance relaxed, and his arms fell to his sides. You watched as his wings fluttered and shrunk in embarrassment, the reaction reminding you of a dog tucking its tail between its legs.  With his head down, he walked out of the room without another word.

After a few moments of silence, you shared uneasy glances with the brothers.  “Look,” You started. “I’ve got him.  It’s obvious he wants me, although I don’t know why.  I will take care of Gabriel; can you guys just go figure out how the hell I got here?  I kinda have work in the morning, so…”

With knowing nods, the two brothers left the room.  You turned around to see a stone-faced Gabriel and your heart became heavy yet again. As you walked back to his front, you noticed that you could not see his wings; the lack of feathers had you wondering if maybe you had been imagining Castiel’s.  Crouching down to his eye level, you spoke softly to him.  “Hey Gabe, everything’s okay.  No one is going to hurt you, I won’t let them.  Why don’t we get you into bed, hmm?”

When he didn’t react, you placed a hand on each of his shoulders.  “Gabe, everything is okay.  You don’t have to shut down.  I’m not going anywhere.”

With that, his eyes snapped to meet yours.  “I don’t want you to leave, not again.”  He whimpered.

“I’m not, I promise. I’m right here.”

“But you want the Winchesters to send you back.  I don’t want you to go back, A.  I need you; we all need you.”  He pleaded.

His nickname reminded you of some distant memory, but you couldn’t quite place it.  Shaking it off, you replied to the angel.  “Gabe, do you know how I got here?  Castiel keeps calling me Ariel and I – I don’t know who that is.  My name is Y/N.”

He was taken aback by your words, but only briefly.  “You don’t know who that is because you don’t remember.  I… I did something bad, A.  Not just like, making life slightly difficult for Heaven, I mean bad.  I had to, otherwise – It would have been worse if I hadn’t.”

Stroking his cheek, you consoled him.  “It’s okay. Whatever you did, Gabe, I’m sure it was the right thing to do.”

Leaning into your hand, Gabriel whispered.  “I hope you’re right, A.  I hope you’re right.”

The two flannel-clad Winchesters entered the war room to find Castiel pacing with his hands messaging his temples.  Wasting no time, Sam walked into the library to grab his laptop while Dean began speaking to Castiel.  “Okay, okay, so we somehow got Gabriel back.  That’s a positive!  We just need to get this woman back to her universe and then we can get back to business.”

“Dean, this isn’t going to go like you think.”  Castiel said with a stoic expression.  “Gabriel coming back here just confirms that he summoned her.  He is not going to let Ariel leave.  Also, did the two of you leave them alone?  What’s going to stop him from leaving with her?”

“Well, while you were getting your ass roasted, I placed that sigil you taught me that prevents angels from teleporting on the door frame.  Technically, he’s stuck in that room.” Dean retorted.

Thankful for the older Winchester’s quick thinking, the angel took a seat at the war table and sighed. “I didn’t know that Gabriel would have this connection with her.”

“Connection or not, who the hell is this Ariel chick?  You said she was Heaven’s guide?”

Before Castiel could answer, Sam reentered the war room carrying his now open laptop.  “So, get this.  Ariel is an angel from old Christian and Jewish theology.  She was briefly mentioned in Paradise Lost and according to this poorly written Wikipedia article, she is known as the personification of Israel?  She is also sometimes referred to as a Demon.”

“Which means?” Dean asked.

“That the internet has no clue who she is.” He sighed.  The two brothers turned their questioning glances to Castiel.  

“Cas, care to fill us in on what the hell is going on?” The older Winchester inquired.

Clearing his throat, he explained.  “Back during the dawn of man, angels and human lived amongst each other very briefly – the consequences were instantaneous.  Nephilim were in the dozens, and Heaven worried about their ability to protect all of creation.  Angels were then ordered to stay away from humans as much as possible, only intervening when necessary.  This created a new problem.  As centuries passed, angels no longer knew how to act amongst humanity.  Society has always been drastically changing for your species, and if an angel wants to investigate undercover, they had to learn how to blend in.”

“Well, you’ve been here for years and you still don’t blend in.” Dean laughed.

Castiel scrunched his brows together in irritation.  His attempt at a bitch face made Dean go silent instantly.  “Sorry.” The older Winchester mumbled under his breath while rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

The annoyed angel continued. “As I was saying, it became obvious that Heaven needed someone on the ground at all times.  Their duty would be to live among you and be able to teach newly arrived angels about modern society.  God was displeased by the amount of Nephilim that were created before, so He refused to assign an angel to this task.  Therefore, he created Ariel.  She was neither an angel or human; she is somewhere in between, yet different from a Nephilim.  Her powers are limited, and she cannot mate.  She was – is – referred to as the Earthly Mother of Angels.  Before they are sent to their assignment here on Earth, every angel reported to her for social training.”

“But you said she’s been dead for two thousand years, what happened?” Sam asked.

“She was living in Jerusalem, preparing for the flood of angels that would arrive when the Christ child was born.  That’s probably why that article called her the ‘personification of Israel’.  She had been there for almost a century when she was murdered.  As soon as the angels felt her signature die, Heaven swarmed Israel.”  Pausing, Castiel chose his next words carefully.

“Lucifer’s blade was found in her chest and armies of Heavenly hosts were called to arms in preparation for war against Lucifer.  It was discovered that he was still locked in the cage, and it hadn’t been tampered with either.  No one knows what happened, the evidence didn’t make any sense.  In the end, there was nothing done because the Christ child was on its way, which obviously took priority; she was all but forgotten.”

Silence fell over the room as the Winchesters debated what to do.  It was then that Sam realized Castiel was hiding something.  “Wait, if all angels were sent to her, why did you say you never met her before?”

Castiel stood up to resume his pacing before answering.  “I was ordered to never meet her.  During that time, I was still an – uh – unquestioning soldier.  To this day, I still don’t know why.”

Raising his eyebrows, Dean began to rant.  “Great. We have the Mother of Angels in a room with a broken archangel, who by the way, summoned her.  You were ordered to never meet her, which add a whole new layer to the already messed up cake.  She may or may not be super powerful but doesn’t remember a damn thing. Oh, and she thinks this is a T.V. show?”

“Do the two of you now understand why I was so upset?” Castiel snarked.

A few hours passed, during which Gabriel lay next to you in the tiny bed.  Although angels don’t sleep, his grace put him into a slumber like state since his wounds were still healing.  His large frame clung to yours like a child would when woken up from a nightmare.  Your fingers softly stroked his hair as you considered what to do next.

It was becoming clearer and clearer that this was in fact not a dream.  That thought alone was enough to make you want to run for the hills. No matter how much you loved the show, you never wanted to step foot into a world like it.  Now, you had hunters and angels claiming you were someone you clearly were not, and their refusal to elaborate on their accusation was even worse.

A knock at the door broke your rambling thoughts.  Someone was finally coming to talk to you.  “Come in.” You whispered quietly, as to not wake Gabriel.

The door slowly opened to reveal a concerned Castiel.  His trench and sport coats had been discarded, making him appear more approachable somehow. He walked cautiously to the bed before taking a seat, careful to not wake Gabriel up as well.  “How’s he doing?”

You took the opportunity to insult the angel.  “Well, now that someone isn’t trying to do the exact same thing that was used to torture him for six years, fine.”

Castiel flinched; a reaction you expected would please you, but instead made you feel worse.  Your guilt was soon replaced with surprise, yet again, when Castiel’s wings unfolded, their tips resting against the bed.

The angel brought a hand up to rub his cheek before speaking to you.  “I’m sorry.  You were right.  I have done so much wrong in the last decade.  I just… I don’t want to fail the Winchesters.  It so hard to balance between two families, them and Heaven.  I don’t want to harm Gabriel, I just want to save Jack and Mary.”

Hesitation was never common for you but being in the universe had changed that completely.  You wanted to comfort Castiel, but how you did not know. Strange, considering you so easily consoled the archangel that was now asleep in your embrace.

Not knowing what else to do, you reached for Castiel’s other hand that rested in his lap.  Stroking the top of it lightly with your thumb, you glanced down at your clasped hands.  “You will save them Castiel, I know it.  It may look impossible now, but you’ve always done the impossible.  It’s okay to make mistakes, that what makes us…” You trailed off, trying to find the right words.

Castiel chuckled at your pause.  “Human? I am not human, Ariel, and neither are you.”

“I was going to say real.  Reality isn’t about orderly, step-by-step actions and events.  The overall picture happens for a reason, but they way you get there is not a straight line.  Life isn’t about point A and point B, it isn’t about the journey either.  Being real is understanding that sometimes you have to go to point C and D to unlock B.  There is no logic behind it, only motion.  People who say, ‘You’re only human’ don’t consider that.”  You had more you wanted to say, but Gabriel began stirring beside you. Once stilled, you continued.

“Also, for the last God – Chuck – damn time, my name is Y/N.  You can believe that I am this Ariel chick, but I want to be called Y/N.”  You stated flatly.

With a shy nod, Castiel submitted.  “Alright, Y/N it is.  Just a warning though, almost every single Heavenly being is going to call you Ariel.”

“Who was she anyway?  If I am at least going to be accused of being this woman, I may as well know what she was.”

It was then that Castiel explained to you the Mother of Angels.  A Heavenly host who taught the angels how to live among humans.  She was a teacher, an informant, a sanctuary, but most importantly, a motherly guide.  She was there to help angels who were grieving over their now lifeless Nephilim and lovers after their initial destruction.  She was councilor who prevented new Nephilim from being created.  She was the barrier between Heaven and Earth, sometimes even between angels and God.

When she was stripped away from the angels, they wept and mourned for their mother.  They were ready to strike down whatever evil had done this to her but were silenced by God’s orders to protect the Christ child.  

With her mysterious return, and no Father in sight to order them, loyalties in Heaven were about to be questioned.

Tags:  Tags: @luci-has-the-phonebox @jaythenephilim @sweetsoftwool @imperfectlydean2 @stellnessy @clockworkmorningglory @mechellemebell @dontbelasagnax @castielisalreadysaved @iamthefandomnerd

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#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfiction #supernatural reader insert #spn reader insert #castiel #castiel x reader #castiel x you #castiel x y/n #sam winchester #dean winchester #gabriel #lucifer #jack kline #borne on the wings of steel #shit writing

[chasholidays]

'All the stories you read as kids are true' Bellarke once upon a time.

The problem is this: Bellamy Blake does not belong in this story.

Of course, he must belong in some story. There is no being which does not have a story. But he does not belong in Alie’s story, and he’s going to make everything complicated. She had such a neat narrative, every story ending in a tidy bow, every major character accounted for. It was perfect.

And now, it’s going to be difficult.

*

She started as so many storytellers do, the first time she tried it: once upon a time, there was a peaceful kingdom, ruled by a just king and a beautiful queen.

These days, of course, the narratives are more complicated. The simple stories aren’t as popular anymore. The queen can’t be notable primarily for her beauty, and the king needs ambiguity, moral complexity. Diversity is important. The story can start off slow, but there must be twists and turns. There must be suffering. Happy endings are to be earned, not given by virtue of birth and status.

Good writers evolve.

So the queen dies, and the king is plunged into grief, and when his son dies, the line of succession is broken, and one of his advisers steps up to take his place. She spars with another adviser until the arguments become too heated and disagreement turns to passion, as sometimes happens. Love blooms where things were once barren, happiness grows out of sadness.

This is not, of course, exactly how it goes every time. But the broad strokes remain the same, no matter where the characters are, whether the princess is locked in a tower of stone or grief. The story should still work.

The story is going to work.

*

Bellamy Blake is an unfortunate side effect of an impulsive experiment.

The experiment was with the woodcutter, whose narrative value has decreased as technology progresses. It’s not a career anymore, woodcutting, and Alie has had to struggle to make him fit in. He works as an artisan now, a craftsman, and selling his creations online, he met Aurora Blake, a woman named after one of Alie’s first stories. That had pleased her, which was why she allowed it to happen at all. The woodcutter had no romantic entanglements, a quiet man who kept to himself, and a dalliance with the outside world seemed safe, for him. A good way to find out how expanding the parameters of the story might affect it.

She didn’t know about Aurora Blake’s son, and she didn’t know that the single night would result in a second child, a daughter. When the woodcutter found out, he did all the proper things, offering to marry Aurora and paying child support when she declined his suit. Alie was aware of Octavia Blake as someone of the story and not, a strange, dangling thread.

If all Bellamy Blake did was bring his sister back to her, Alie wouldn’t mind him. That’s a public service. But he stays, and that’s a problem. He’s not supposed to live here.

He’s not supposed to get involved.

*

She’s there, the first time Bellamy Blake meets Clarke Griffin. She doesn’t always witness things; sometimes, she has to read them in the book later, but it’s the weekly farmer’s market, and everyone in town comes to those. She wouldn’t miss it for the world.

In her previous stories, she’d put the princess with the prince, the natural pairing, and it had been fine, but lacked some punch, so she’s trying something new. Next time, she thinks she’d like to not kill the prince–it was a little too much death, this time around–but she doesn’t think they’ll be together again. The prince and the princess is just such a cliche.

So is killing off a character of color, come to that. She’ll do better by Wells next time.

But Clarke’s storyline has been going well. She’s been exploring her sexuality, finding her preference is for women and not men, and it’s progressing exactly as planned. She’s completed her relationship with Niylah and is well on her way to updating her label to lesbian. This market is supposed to be the next step, the beginning of her happily ever after. She and Lexa will meet and commence a long, complicated flirtation,ending with love. It’s going to be good.

Instead, Clarke bumps into Bellamy Blake.

Alie saw Bellamy come in with his sister and didn’t think anything of it. But Octavia went off with some of the other teenagers, and Bellamy was left to his own devices, wandering without much focus,

Until he bumps into Clarke.

It shouldn’t be anything. It should be a minor hiccup, but Bellamy catches her arm and Clarke looks up to see him, and Alie feels the shudder as the story begins to rewrite itself.

“Sorry,” says Bellamy. “I’m kind of lost.”

Clarke’s mouth twitches. “Lost?”

“Maybe not lost, just overwhelmed. The town’s so small, I thought the farmer’s market was going to be a block or two at most, probably just a parking lot. But this is–wow.”

“Good wow?”

“I’m impressed, yeah. You’ve got some amazing stuff here. I knew O’s dad was a craftsman, but I didn’t know he came from a whole town of artists.”

“I guess it’s one of those things, yeah,” says Clarke. “We’ve always been a kind of traditional place.”

“I noticed. It was like walking back in time. I wasn’t even sure you guys would have wifi.”

“We’re old-fashioned, not stupid.” She offers her hand. “I’m Clarke Griffin.”

He shakes. “Bellamy Blake.”

“Trust me, I know. We don’t get a lot of new blood around here.”

“Wow, that was a creepy way to say that. Definitely not worrying you guys are a weird cult who want my organs now.”

“Like you weren’t already worried about that.”

“Not that specifically. I was still coming up with possibilities. You have to admit the place is creepy,” he says, giving her a look. “Just a little.”

“Creepy? Seriously?”

“Nowhere is this nice and friendly. I walked into the diner and had a job by the end of my first day, and it’s actually enough to pay for me and O’s place.”

“O is your sister? Mr. Harris’s daughter? She’s staying with you.”

“Yeah. Our mom died a few months ago and she’s not eighteen yet, so–” He shrugs one shoulder. “I couldn’t get custody without her dad’s approval and I couldn’t afford our place in the city, so I figured–fresh start, right?”

“And now it’s going too well and you’re suspicious.”

“Trust no one.”

They’ve walked past Lexa’s booth by now, and she’s engrossed in a conversation with Gaia. She and Clarke didn’t even look at each other, which is not how the story is supposed to go.

Clarke laughs, and Bellamy smiles at her, and Alie narrows her eyes, jaw tightening.

She hasn’t had a challenge in a while. Maybe it will be novel.

*

The best stories tell themselves. The author creates situations, but she allows her characters to react on their own as much as they can. Alie has her setting, Lucis, and her cast of archetypal characters, and her magic, but every story she tells is different. Every story is shaped by the individual characters, by their choices and interests, and every author, Alie is sure, has experienced the frustration of a character not reacting how they were supposed to, how they were expected to.

This is on a level she’s never experienced, though.

She knows things about Bellamy. He’s twenty-five, eight years older than his sister, and he’s felt as if it was his responsibility to care for her almost since she was born. There’s nothing wrong with him, exactly, but he is not hers, she does not control him, he does not belong in her story. He’s not the one the princess is supposed to want to be with.

But she does. Every time Alie turns her attention away from Clarke’s story, checking on the romance between Nathan, the miller-turned-programmer, and Monty, one of the farmers, or the progression of the political and personal conflicts between Clarke’s mother and her new husband, Clarke will have gone into the diner to flirt with Bellamy.

And Bellamy, outside of her control, keeps barging in on scenes that Alie never even thought he’d be in, and as soon as he’s there, he takes all of Clarke’s attention.

And despite her best efforts, she can’t get rid of him. Charles Pike won’t fire him, because he’s a good worker. Indra Birch won’t evict him, because he’s a good tenant. Calvin Harris likes having him and his sister around. Everyone seems to think he’s a good addition to the community, to the story, and that means Alie’s hands are tied.

She does what she can, of course. Gina Martin is a nice girl, unattached, slated for a tragic premature death. Alie gives her reasons to cross Bellamy’s path, trying to distract him. After all, just because Clarke is interested in him doesn’t mean he’s interested in Clarke, and Alie isn’t privy to his thoughts.

In the end, all she accomplishes is getting Gina and Raven Reyes in the same place, and instead of Raven falling for Kyle Wick, as she was meant to, she and Gina begin a courtship.

Things are unraveling at a truly unprecedented rate. One foreign element and suddenly nothing is going according to plan.

“I didn’t think Raven and Gina liked women,” Clarke tells Bellamy, after the two of them discover Raven and Gina on a date. “I thought I did,” she adds, under her breath.

“Who says you don’t?” Bellamy asks.

Clarke bites her lip. Alie’s been watching her more and more, being where she’ll be more than usual, and it’s been odd, witnessing her changing. None of her creations have ever evolved so independently of her. Not really.

“I thought I did, but–I like men too.”

“Me too,” says Bellamy, with a shrug. “I like men and women. Plenty of people do.”

“They do?” Clarke asks, and Alie mouths the words along with her. That’s something to think about; it hadn’t occurred to her. She’d thought everyone was just one way or the other. Binaries tend to appeal to her.

But the narrative would be better served by more choices.

“Jesus, I know bi-erasure is bad, but I can’t believe you guys didn’t even know it was a thing.” He nudges his shoulder against hers, doesn’t move away after. “Get your phone out, google bisexuality.”

They lean over Clarke’s phone together, heads bent close, and Alie finishes her drink.

At least she learned something.

*

She thinks about killing him, of course. It would be easiest. Another tragedy for Clarke to face and overcome, and it would sever Octavia’s ties to the outside world, letting her integrate fully into the narrative. It would be so much easier, and it would get the story back on track. An elegant solution.

Her mind is most of the way made up when she’s reading the book one night and finds that Clarke confessed to Raven–I think I’m in love with him–and the words are there, in black and white, somehow unexpected, in spite of everything.

Love. Clarke thinks she loves him.

It is possible to recover from a lost love. Alie has seen it; second chances can be a beautiful thing. But Clarke’s already lost plenty of people in her life, her father and her closest friend, and she’s overcome it. She’s bright and thriving and happy, and she’s in love with a boy who–

Well, that’s the other thing. Alie doesn’t know. For the first time, she can’t be sure how this story will go. She thinks Bellamy loves Clarke too, that they’ll be together, but she doesn’t know.

How wonderful, to not know what’s going to happen.

She can’t wait to find out.

#la-la-lara

[kpopfanfictrash]

Angel

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Jackson

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 4,074

Summary:  You’re a medical intern, always a perfectionist and used to being the best at everything you do. Jackson Wang is the male nurse beloved by everyone and constantly on your nerves. When you two are brought together, it could be the best or the worst thing that’s ever happened.

When you’re little, everyone gives the same answer when asked what they want to be when they grow up. A teacher, doctor, lawyer – some job they saw once in the movies and think is more glamorous than it is.

It’s odd the same answers come up, over and over again. Odd that some professions are seen as more desirable. You’ve never heard a five year old clutching their rag doll and wishing to be a benefits analyst who specializes in the dissolution of pension plans. And yet some people end up as this. 

You suppose it’s hypocritical of you to judge, since you’re currently on track to become a doctor yourself. Call it a God complex, call it narcissism – it may be a bit of both. Wanting to be a doctor is both, if you think about it. There’s someone about to die when here you come, swooping in to save them. Single handedly taking them from death - the concept is one of lunacy.

You didn’t always want to be a doctor. In fact, you wanted to be almost anything but. Everyone in your family is an engineer – computer, chemical, aerospace. They work in labs, in governments, for various research grants and you grew up thinking this was the noblest course to pursue. Devoting oneself to science, creation and furthering the human existence. Not prolonging the one you already have.

It was sometime around college you realized you were wrong about this. It was late in the library when you had your semi-epiphany. Struggling with learning the basic coding for a computer app. Also struggling to determine how any of this would make the world a better place. You were a computer engineer with the vague notion that one day you would work for the government. You wanted to combat the certain future of hacking, privacy disputes and governmental big brother-hood.

That night you were in the library. It was 11:00 pm when the sounds of someone choking reached your ears. It was behind you, over by the staircase and you raised your head in concern. Peering over the top of your booth in that way students do when there’s a disturbance they don’t actually want to disturb themselves with.

It was someone you recognized from psych – Lucy, you think her name was. She was sitting at one of the uncomfortable tables, hunched over her laptop while her friend pounded frantically on her back and looked around at blank faces. “Does anyone know CPR?” she yelled.

There was a long, horrible silence.

A moment where each person looked at the others and wondered why no was speaking up. Perhaps this was the only campus in America where no student was a camp counselor, no one had baby-sat or had siblings. Everyone stared at one another and no one acted, realizing then that they were completely useless when the situation was life or death.

Lucy continued to choke, cough disappearing as her air supply dwindled. All of a sudden a woman burst through the library doors. She skidded to a stop in front of Lucy, pulling her up to lock her arms around her. As she performed the Heimlich maneuver there was tense silence in the air. A moment where everyone looked left and right. Wondering if it was okay, if it was still polite to be here. To still be staring.

Slowly, people sank into their own seats. Not you. When the object finally popped out – a half-chewed stick of gum – you stared, wide-eyed as the woman relaxed. Lucy’s eyes filled with tears, voice raspy as she turned to thank her rescuer.

After that you looked down at your textbook. The words swam before your eyes, seeming suddenly unimportant. What did it matter if you invented the next big app? Or smoothed software for a new navigation device?

Without pausing to think about it, you slammed your book shut. “I’m going home,” you announced to your study group. Nodding, in affirmation of this fact. “Yep. I’m done.”

Then you left. The next morning at 8:00 am you walked into your guidance counselor’s office to declare a change of major. Yanking yourself from one life path and plopping onto another. Graduating on time would require a lot of effort but you managed it, catching up by the end of sophomore year. Taking the MCAT and applying to medical school at the same time as everyone else.

Some called it talent, others insanity. You thought it was a bit of both. You’ve always been smart, driven to the point of recklessness. You’re the kind of person to stay up not just the night before your exam but the whole week – subsisting on coffee and half-hour power naps until you pass.

The whole thing ended with you being accepted to one of the top medical schools in the country – a cause for both elation and nausea. It’s a tremendous opportunity but if you blow it... well. It’s a long fall from the top.

Your first day at the hospital was a blur of fear and excitement. Excitement that you’re doing the right thing for yourself. You’re doing what you want, doing something good. This was quickly followed by terror, since many people fail here. Most don’t have what it takes to become doctors.

Especially not the kind you want to be. An emergency room physician, one who specializes in internal medicine. It’s the kind of life which drains you, one normal people wouldn’t consider a life. It’s not just a job but a calling. It’s what you feel you’re meant to do – though most people don’t view their jobs like this either.

Emergency room life means sleeping in on-call rooms. Waiting for your pager to beep and when it does, knowing you won’t sit down again for several hours. Its patients in severe pain, unable to speak, not knowing how to communicate in anything but an unpleasant manner. It means late nights, erratic sleep patterns and seeing people at their absolute worst.

It’s also home to miracles. Small ones and big ones daily.

Just now, you’re not in the midst of either. You’re not saving or being yelled at – right now you’re sitting across from Marie in the on-call lounge, playing Go Fish with a deck of cards someone found jammed beneath the vending machine.

The only problem is you don’t really remember how to play. Things have grown more and more complicated as the game progresses. You remember the general premise of Go Fish: each person has cards and you try to collect pairs. The first person to run out wins. But how many cards do you start with? Do you just put down pairs or all four? If you get a pair, do you keep asking other people for cards?

Before long, both you and Marie are giggling uncontrollably. A hilarious combination of both your ineptitude and the dizzyingly long time it’s been since the two of you slept. You and Marie are in the middle of your med school internship. No longer in the neat portion where you sit at tables in classrooms and learn how to hold a scalpel (between the thumb and the middle finger, index finger supporting the blade from above).

Now you actually use a scalpel. There’s nothing to prepare you for that first time. The moment when you’re faced with a true crisis, staring at the wavering point between life and death – and are told by hastily to make an incision.

Hell, most people can’t even sew. Expecting someone to close a human is just insane. This is partly why you aren’t specializing in surgery – something you’ve never considered a strong suit. You’ve always been drawn to the problem-solving part of medicine. Being presented with symptoms and determining what’s wrong. Determining how to treat someone, making them better.

“Go fish,” Marie declares, nodding at the pile.

You frown as you survey the table. “Okay. This seems wrong.”

There are no more cards left to draw from. Instead they’re in piles, some in pairs and some in fours. You stare at the chaos, then back to your own cards. “Don’t you have all the cards I need, then?”

Marie shrugs mysteriously. “Maybe. Maybe not.”

“Anyone drop a three of hearts?”

Your head turns, frown deepening when you see Jackson Wang. He’s smiling – of course he is. Rarely is Jackson without a smile, something which constantly annoys you.  Seeing him so positive, so cheerful makes you feel guilty. Guilty, because you’re not like that.

Everyone here loves Jackson – of course they do. Jackson is the human equivalent of sunshine. The one time you mentioned your personal aversion to Marie, she was appalled. “But,” she gaped, staring at you. “It’s Jackson.”

You nodded. “Yeah. So?”

“But.” Marie floundered, apparently at a loss for words. “It’s Jackson.”

“Yeah,” you repeated, eyes narrowing. “So?”

“He’s just…” Marie couldn’t seem to find an adjective. “He’s so perfect.”

At this, you frowned. “No one is perfect.”

“Maybe not,” Marie admitted, blowing on her tea. “But Jackson Wang is a pretty close synonym.”

Jackson walks into the room, ruffling the back of his hair and yawning widely before he drops into the seat beside you. “Ugh,” he groans, stretching both arms overhead. A small strip of his flat stomach shows between forest-green scrubs and you quickly look away.

“Bad day?” Marie grimaces.

Jackson rubs his face with both hands, pulling his cheeks down. “Long day,” he agrees, scanning the game before him. “Hey. That’s not how you play.”

Marie nods, her expression sad. “We thought not.”

“What’s wrong with it?” you ask, setting your cards at your elbow.

Jackson looks over in surprise. The two of you rarely talk. “Well,” he says, clearing his throat. “You’re only supposed to put down cards if you have all four,” he points out, gesturing towards the pairs on the table.

Marie groans. “See, I thought there was something off!”

Nudging the deck, Jackson struggles to hide his smile. “You also don’t play until you run out. You play until the end of the deck and then you add up who has the most points.”

That does make sense. “Thanks,” you say, careful to keep your expression neutral. “Much appreciated.”

Jackson nods, gaze lingering. “Anytime.” He smiles, a gesture so bright you wince. No one should have a smile so perfect.

Abruptly you stand, pushing your chair back so it scrapes the linoleum. “I’m going to get coffee,” you declare, turning away.

Behind you, Marie says something to Jackson. You don’t hear what either says but he laughs, prompting at least three other people to join in. Jackson’s laugh tends to have that effect.

Turning the corner brings you before the staff coffee maker. To your left are rooms with bunk beds – places for employees to crash between shifts or wait on call. The door to your right opens to the main floor of the hospital. White hallways and sterile sheets, home to madness and miracles both.

The machine cranks to life, dispensing something resembling coffee as you wrinkle your nose. Picking a cup from the stack of disposable ones, you’re displeased to notice your hand trembling. You only got two hours of sleep last night because you were up late studying. You don’t have time to think about this for long though, since the door on your right opens to reveal two nurses.

“But did you see,” one of them hisses – Jordan, in fervent discussion with the other. “Jackson saved that intern’s butt – again. The guy was about to administer the wrong dosage but Jackson caught it. Switched it out and said nothing.”

The other girl shakes her head. “Typical,” she sighs. “Some med school marvel thinking thinks they know everything and Jackson has to bail them out again.”

You slam the coffee grounds down, satisfied when they both jump. Noticing the light blue color of your scrubs, the girl you don’t know at least has the decency to blush.

“Hey, Y/N.” Jordan smiles at you, raising an eyebrow. “How are things going?” She doesn’t slow for your answer, brushing past.

“Just great,” you mutter. Jordan’s sleek black hair bounces behind her as she walks and you sadly look at your own, bare shoulders. You wear your hair up most days you’re at the hospital. It’s easier to hide the grease that way.

You’ve never gotten along with Jordan, though this seems to be on par with normal relations between med students and nurses. At the start of your career, nurses have more knowledge than you do. It must be annoying to see you come in with freshly laundered scrubs and entitled attitudes, thinking you know better because you’ve studied for three years.

Objectively, you know this. Objectively, you should cut her some slack but still Jordan bugs you. The snide glances and comments she gives just serve to remind you that you know nothing. You know nothing and are usually wrong – something you’ve never been all that great at handing. Your hand tightens around your cup as the two girls’ voices fade to the background.

At your hip, your pager beeps.

A glance downwards says that Doctor Banshin is paging you to room 403. It’s not an emergency code but really, anything in the hospital is an emergency. Pushing open the door, you break into a jog as you round the corner.

When you enter room 403, Dr. Banshin is already inside. He looks up, nodding once at your presence without actually stopping what he’s doing. Which is – oh. Your stomach lurches. He’s prepping for a lumbar puncture. Dr. Banshin waves you in, gesturing with a gloved hand. “Here,” he says. “Nurse Cinche is out sick, so you’ll be assisting me today. Scrub up.”

“Right.” You waver for just for a moment before letting the door fall shut behidn you. Your heart races – it’s rare for a medical intern to be asked to assist with this procedure. The fact that Dr. Banshin has asked you means he has confidence in your abilities. Confidence above the other interns. A small bubble of pride swells in your chest.

One quickly squashed when you come face to face with the patient’s back. You stare, wide-eyed at the displayed flesh, open beneath a sterile, blue hospital gown. The man is curled into the fetal position, a stout middle-aged male with a rather large bald spot. He’s drowsy from painkillers, body dulled with local anesthesia.

Dr. Banshin looks expectantly at you. “Well?” He glances at your hands. “Are you just going to gape or will you begin the procedure?”

“Begin,” you manage to say. You step to the side, scrubbing up while mentally preparing for the outpatient procedure. You’ve studied this a million times. Theoretically you know what should happen and once you’re ready, you move to the doctor’s side.

“Right,” he nods, pulling out utensils. “We think the patient has meningitis. The fluid from the procedure should confirm or deny this. What else can we learn from a lumbar puncture, Y/N?”

“Um.” You blink, struggling to focus. Your hand shakes, revealing your long night of studying, so you take a deep breath to hide it. “Right. A lumbar puncture could show various bacterial or viral infections, bleeding of the brain, certain cancers involving the spine or brain –"

You’re talking as you work, guiding the needle to the correct spot between vertebrae. You squint at his skin, trying to focus. The needle is just above his skin, about to break when Dr. Banshin suddenly swears. “No, no, no,” he snaps, covering your hand and yanking you away. “That was too far to the right. You could have punctured his lung.” Muttering something about vague incompetency, he steps in front of you.

You move aside, limbs gone suddenly cold. Dr. Banshin doesn’t look up, repositioning the needle against his skin. “You can go,” he says, dismissing you. “Send in Nurse Kelvin.”

That’s Jordan. Shoving open the door, you scan the hall. “Jordan,” you call, spotting her at the corner. “You’re needed in room 403.”

Jordan looks up, surprised. She glances first at you, then the room behind you and understanding slowly dawns. “Couldn’t hack it?” she smirks.

“Shove it up your ass,” you mutter, pushing past. 

Tears form in your eyes and you don’t wait for a reply, hastening away from her down the hall. Heading towards the parking lot, not even pausing before you shove open the doors.

It’s dark outside. You blink, having been certain it was mid-afternoon. The cool air hits your face, awash with the scent of night and pavement and you lean slowly the railing, lowering your face into your hands to breathe. After a long moment, you exhale. Struggling not to release actual tears – those you save for home. Right now you just need to regain yourself before going back in to finish your shift.

Behind you, the door opens.

You keep your head down, praying whomever it is will just walk past. Will walk past and not recognize you but instead they walk towards you. Coming to a stop beside you to also lean on their elbows. Exhaling deeply.

“Yes, Jackson?” you mutter without looking up.

He laughs – almost to himself. “It gets better.”

The silence lengthens until at last, you turn to face him. “And what if it doesn’t?”

Jackson is already looking back. “It will,” he says, voice serious for once. “You’re smart. Everyone messes up, everyone panics.”

At his words, something loosens ever so slightly. For the first time since your banishment from room 403, the tears don’t threaten to spill over. Staring out at the parking lot, you survey the sea of cement and cars and artificial lighting. The employee lot is mostly empty – everyone either inside or having gone home for the night.

Biting your lip, you continue to stare at the parked cars. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

Jackson seems surprised by this. “What do you mean?”

You shrug, the sound of insects buzzing the only other sound in the night. “You heard me,” you say. “I’m nothing but rude. Why would you care?”

Jackson laughs, the sound of it low – not his usual cackle. “Y/N.” He waits until you look at him. “Today I’ve been vomited on, yelled at three times – none of which was my fault – accused of attempted murder and tripped. You being slightly chilly after losing your game of Go Fish is the least of my worries.” 

Flushing, you realize how silly you sound. “Right,” you nod. “Sorry about that.” 

Jackson pushes himself off the railing. He stares at the doors behind you. “Do you know why I came out after you?”

You shake your head.

Jackson smiles. “It’s because you care.”

Without meaning to, you snort. Glancing down at the ground because your cheeks are burning and for some reason you don’t want him to see. “Yeah. Okay.”

Jackson laughs again, leaning on the railing. “I mean it. You might not care about me, or even like me very much – but you care about this hospital. You care about your patients. You want to be a good doctor so badly you’re out here crying because you messed up your first attempt at an advanced procedure – one most medical interns are never even asked to help with in the first place.”

At this, you frown. “I like you,” you retort, so automatic that it sounds fake. You wince. “I mean… thank you for saying that.”

Jackson nods, matter-of-fact. “Look, you don’t have to like me. Not everyone does. I just wanted to let you know why I like you.”

This makes you look up at him. “You like me?”

Jackson shrugs, smile widening. “Yeah, well. Don’t get too cocky – I also like Marta, the lunch lady. She gives me cupcakes.” When you shove him he laughs, catching his balance. “Ready to go back inside?”

You glance at the cold, metal doors. “But what if I mess up?” you ask, hating how small your voice is. How unsure you sound. “What if there’s no Dr. Banshin around that time to fix things?” Your thoughts travel to that medical intern’s error Jackson caught just this morning.

Jackson falls silent. “It’s probably not something you want to hear, Y/N,” he hesitates. “But there’s going to come a time where you mess up and it’s going to be your fault.”

You look up at him, startled.

Jackson’s eyes are serious, burning no matter how you try to look away. He’s very good-looking. You knew this objectively of course, but were never able to focus on it beyond his happy-go-lucky attitude. You tend to like more serious guys. Guys as studious and driven as you are. Jackson’s eyes, though. You could lose yourself in those eyes.

Jackson continues to look at you. “You’re human, Y/N,” he says, voice gentle. “You will mess up and most of the time someone will catch it – but not always. Even if you miraculously make it through your forty-plus years of medical career without fucking something up, there will always be that voice inside you asking if you could have done more.”

It’s as though Jackson’s looked inside your brain. Seen every fear you have and understood them all. You stare back, transfixed as he continues.

“Could you have stayed later? What if you’d asked that doctor in oncology about this rare form of cancer? What if you’d given that dosage at this point in time?”

Your heart pounds as Jackson lists all the terrifying thoughts you think to yourself late at night. Stating them all calmly, as though they’re normal. As though you’re normal.

Jackson nods at your expression. “You’ll always think that Y/N,  it’s the sign of a good doctor. The question is, can you move past it or will it cripple you? I think you’re one of the rare people who can do this, and do it well. You just can’t forget that for every crappy thing which happens in this place – there are far more miracles.”

Staring at the big, silent building behind him you find yourself feeling calm once more. Calm enough to glance in Jackson’s direction. “Thank you,” you say, somewhat hesitant.

Jackson nods and for the first time, you notice the dark circles beneath his eyes. You think back to what Jackson said earlier – today he’s been puked on, yelled at and tripped. You recall Jackson being here even earlier than you were. When does Jackson ever get to take a break?

“Jackson,” you say, swallowing your nerves. “I’m not great at making friends. People tend to think I’m intense, that I lack empathy.” Jackson raises an eyebrow and you flush. “I never meant to hurt you, if I ever have. I think you’re a great nurse and sometimes… sometimes it’s intimidating to be around you.”

Jackson places his hand over his heart. “Me? Intimidating? I never.”

You stick out your tongue.

Jackson grins. “I’ll add that to my resume. Six foot three, 50% fluff, 50% intimidation. Catch me on weekends baking or arm wrestling – who knows which? I like to mix it up.”

You cross your arms and grin. “Six foot three?”

Jackson drops into a frown. “I never indicated units of measurement, okay?”

At that, you start to laugh. “Dammit,” you grin, shaking your head.

Jackson’s smile falters. “What?”

Shaking your head, you walk towards the doors of the hospital. “I think I’m actually starting to like you.”

Jackson snorts, quickly following. “I thought you already did,” he teases, grabbing the handle to yank it open.

You roll your eyes as you step inside. “Yes, well. Now I mean it.” Glancing back at him, you smile. “Thanks, Jackson.”

He allows the door to fall shut behind him. “Anytime.”

Just then, a man rounds the corner. “Jackson!” he gasps, coming to a halt. “Come quick, room 209 – it’s that same issue from yesterday. Could you –?”

Jackson is already taking off in a run. “Bye, Y/N!” he calls out, rounding the corner. “Good luck with the shift!”

Then he’s gone, forest-green scrubs disappeared down the hall’. You stare after him for a little while before shaking your head to continue on. When you leave the hospital that night – much, much later that night – it’s to the realization you might not need those tears you saved after all.

Maybe tonight you’ll actually get some sleep.

You hope Jackson does, too - a thought which surprises you.

[Master List]

Author’s Note: Thank you to everyone who has been anticipating this series and happy early birthday to the anon who wrote me earlier this month! Angel will be a seven part series featuring Jackson. Hope you enjoy! 

#kWritersNet #noonanet #got7 fanfiction #jackson wang fanfiction #jackson wang #got7 jackson #jackson wang fanfic #jackson wang fic #jackson wang fluff #jackson fic #jackson fanfic #jackson fanfiction #got7 fanfic #got7 fluff #got7 fic #jackson wang au

[onestowatch]

Listen To Dear Boy’s Bittersweet ‘The Strawberry EP’ a Day Ahead of Release [PREMIERE + Q&A]

Photo Credit : Casey Curry

California’s Dear Boy had an immense 2018; they were hailed as one of the best bands in Los Angeles by critics and music publications, sold out multiple hometown shows, embarked on a full US tour w/ Rogue Wave while also playing dates w/ Day Wave and Sunflower Bean—and there’s no signs of slowing down in 2019. On March 1, the nostalgic band will release The Strawberry EP (the third extended play of their career) into the world via the band's own label, Easy Hell and Burnside/The Orchard. Produced by Dear Boy, and mixed by Tony Hoffer (AIR, Phoenix, Beck, M83), the EP showcases the band's ability to craft bittersweet songs pulling from late 70's and early 80's post-punk and early 90's Britpop, large enough for arenas, but intimate enough to be with you during your most private moments.

The band’s wildly creative nature that has attracted not only a wildly devoted fan base, but the respect of fellow artists who have gone on to be collaborators. The Strawberry EP features appearances by their friends Day Wave, Hazel English, and Patrick Spurgeon of Rogue Wave. The four real life friends that make up Dear Boy (vocalist Ben Grey, guitarist Austin Hayman, drummer Keith Cooper, and bassist Lucy Lawrence) have made something that is deeply personal, while celebrating their city and challenging the direction of modern guitar music.

Ahead of The Strawberry EP’s worldwide release on March 1, we spoke to vocalist Ben Grey to break down the five-track collection, which you can listen to a day early exclusively here on Ones To Watch. Pre-order the album here.

OTW: Considering your previous releases, how would you consider The Strawberry EP to be a progression of your sound?

BG: I think The Strawberry EP is the closest we’ve come to sounding the way we’ve wanted to in our heads. The band’s sound has been described as “bittersweet” since day one, and while I think we really perfected the bitter in our early work, I don’t think we were able to get sweet until this EP. Melancholia is in our DNA… It’s just musically and thematically what we’re drawn to, but the dream was always to leave the listener and ourselves with feeling of hopefulness. I don’t think we fully figured out how to do that until now.

OTW: When were the songs for the EP written/recorded between, and how did you choose what 5 tracks would make it?

BG: Putting out an EP was definitely not the plan! We’ve been writing for a full length record, but we seem to keep stumbling into recording opportunities. With the exception of “Love Interest,” the EP was all recorded at our friend Clay Blair’s studio Boulevard Recording in Hollywood, in between legs of our tour with Rogue Wave. We would work these new songs out on the road for a few weeks and then come home to track them. That’s why I think they sound so immediate… They’re straight from stage to stereo. And to answer your other question, it wasn’t until Tony Hoffer sent us the final mix of Limelight, that we realized we had finished a collection. The songs had all coalesced so naturally and they truly did capture a moment in the band’s career.

I should also note that the current count of new Dear Boy songs is 35,  so I don’t think it’ll be very long until we follow this up with something else.

OTW: Starting off the EP we have the single “Semester”— a song that you’ve previously described as being about “following the moment”. How has the response to the track been so far?

BG: I feel funny telling you that it’s been great, but it truly has been pretty great. If I’m being honest, I am RELIEVED. Whenever you’re in the process of working on something, it’s so small and private. It only belongs to you and you can’t even really imagine it existing in the real world. Any artist will tell you that this whole process is a cocktail of arrogance and earth shattering doubt, so I'm shook constantly. But the fact that Rodney Bingenheimer is playing "Semester" on the radio, our fans like it and my friends who I respect are still taking my calls, I’m finally going to concede that it’s going okay.

OTW: The track is quite dreamy, though bittersweet lyrically. What came first: the music or the lyrics?

BG: The way it normally works with us is that the music & melody come first., but I’m always scribbling down stuff that gets a reaction out of me… The hope being that one day we’ll be able to marry the nonsense to a piece of music and have it no longer be nonsense.

I’ve used this expression before, but I feel like songwriting is pick-pocketing in the dark. That’s part of why it’s so exciting. "Semester," for example was just a word I had written down in the middle of the night 3 years ago… I had no idea what to do with it, zero context… I just knew that it made me feel something and it was my job to figure out why. It wasn’t until we started writing this particular music that it became clear, oh this song is “Semester,” and I think I know why.

OTW: I know that track was produced by the band w/ contributions from Jackson Phillips (Day Wave)—is this the only track on the record essentially self-produced? And what was it like working with Phillips?

BG: Jackson is incredible. We met last year when our bands did a West Coast tour together and became fast friends. Working with him on "Semester" and "Something Good" was inspiring. A lot of spontaneity goes into his work. The opening swelling noises in "Semester" are a mistake with the tape machine… It was a synth arpeggio sped up all crazy, and he quickly suggested we record it and have it flow throughout the entire song, which I think is partly why "Semester" has its dreamy atmosphere. Feels like exaggerating a memory… And on “Something Good,” Eleisha from Hazel English was hanging out with us in his studio and started humming something to herself during the bridge… Jackson asked her to record what she was doing and she graciously agreed… and now it’s my favorite moment of the song. He’s really good at disrupting your work in the way it needs to be disrupted. Ian Hultquist also produced “Love Interest” with us, but the rest of the record is DB.

OTW: Then we move on to “Limelight,” which seems to further romanticize the valued fleeting time with a lover through stylings that seem suited for youthful romance. What can you tell us about the track?

BG: “Limelight” actually started out this slow, moody ballad, so you’re definitely not wrong about those themes…  But as soon as I played an early version for the band, it became clear that’s not what the song was meant to be… And that's what great bands do; they show you what you really mean. Keith, Austin and Lucy heard the song and instinctively knew what to do with it. I’m so thankful to be a part of a project that has such a confident sound and assured chemistry… My version of “Limelight” was small and limited, while Dear Boy’s interpretation was big and thrilling and cathartic. I didn’t realize that the lyrics belonged in a song like that, until I started singing them against this final arrangement.

OTW: Though it’s only the third song, by the time we get to “Something Good,” the EP has effectively avoided “sticking” to one definitive sound. Was it intentional for this EP to showcase your versatility as a band?

BG: I think we’re always chasing things that are exciting and expansive for us, but it wasn’t intentional. This song is the second in a trilogy of waltz’s for the band, (the third is a song called “Die”),  but everything about the creation of “Something Good” was surprising to us.

OTW: And did you always know you wanted an acoustic track included? How did “Something Good” come to be?

BG: We didn’t! We actually had studio time booked to work on “Anything At All,” but Keith had the flu and couldn’t track drums... It was Austin’s idea to work it.  I wrote “Something Good” with my friend April Bender and it was meant to live on an acoustic guitar, but didn’t really have a sonic identity beyond that. And maybe it’s my own personal bias, but I’m super over bands recording token acoustic songs for their albums, so it was important for us to take it somewhere unexpected. We threw everything we could at it; There are mountains of analog synths, distorted ebows, lap steel, a mille feuille of harmonies, down-tuned conversational elements… it’s very lush and I’m sure totally annoying for our mixer, Tony Hoffer. But it was important for it to not sound like anything else and after days of concentrated studio experimentation,  we got this Americana Mazzy Star dark waltz thing. But most important, it sounds like our band and it opens up a lot of portals for us in the future.

OTW: “Anything At All” quickly picks the energy back up with an energizing guitar riff and an incredibly catchy hook. Talk to us about the track and is there a story behind the spoken outro?

BG: “Anything At All” is pure “band.” A song built around a guitar riff, leaning into all the things you want to hear as an audience member…  But the lyrics, in Dear Boy fashion, stand in defiance of the major chords. It’s about despair and making the most out of your despair.

While tracking guitars, Austin and I would end our takes with excessive and unnecessary feedback, as one does… I can assure you that it was never meant to stay… but I dunno…one day while I was recording vocals,  I just heard a little epilogue in my head… I wrote it down in 2 minutes, recorded it in one take and that was it. I didn’t expect it to stay in, let alone be audible… but the band liked it, Tony Hoffer liked it and I didn’t hate it. Admittedly, I don’t know how I could live without it now.

OTW: “Love Interest,” though the closing track, is probably the most pop-centric – evoking the pop-hook laced energy of 90’s college rock. What influenced the track?

BG: I remember that we were at Keith’s studio and somehow the guitar theme, which sounded like early R.E.M. meets Suede, willed itself into existence. The rest is fuzzy. But I do remember that I left that night with a crudely put together basic track of the music and then spent the following two months writing the lyrics. The song is, in part, about the clumsiness and optimism of love... the joy of being out of your depth. It’s a sentiment I really wanted to get right, so I obsessed over it. I still kinda want to change one or two things.

OTW: Was it a conscious decision to end the EP with the eldest single from the set, seeing as it was initially released nearly a year ago?  

BG: Not so much that it was the eldest, but more that it was the first song written in what we consider to be “The Strawberry Era.” And, really... the message. Like we discussed earlier, leaving the listener with hopefulness for the first time was something appealing to us.

OTW: And finally—why “Strawberry”?

BG: This sounds made up, but I had been dreaming about strawberries for the two weeks before recording “Love Interest.” Every night. The image of a skeleton performing the Hamlet soliloquy to a giant strawberry, dressing in clothes with strawberries sewn into them, running through strawberry rain drops... And because I NEVER remember my dreams, it seemed impossible for it to be coincidence. I don’t think I’m tuned into the will of the universe or anything like that, but I’m also not foolish enough to argue with it.

#dear boy #the strawberry #interview #indie #alternative

[instantdeerlover]

Yorkshire Wedding Barn Reception with Homemade Wedding Dress added to Google Docs

Yorkshire Wedding Barn Reception with Homemade Wedding Dress

 BUDGET £40 – 50K It’s smiles all round at this Yorkshire Wedding Barn with an outdoor wedding ceremony decorated in beautiful florals and a stunning bride walking down the aisle in a homemade wedding dress she and her mum had designed and made together. The couple and guests enjoyed food from a rustic tipi called Eat Shed which the groom had managed to persuade to cater their wedding after they first saw them at a festival and the barn was lit with hundreds of fairy lights.

                     WHAT MADE OUR DAY UNIQUE

“We really enjoyed being able to make use of the Wedding Barn and the bar the night before the wedding and to have most of our guests stay on-site for the whole weekend. This meant that all our friends and family were able to meet and settle in ahead of the big day. It created a lovely atmosphere which helped us to relax. Another thing which was important to us was having our two chihuahuas, Pepe and Arabella, there. They were able to stay with our family over the weekend and watch us walk down the aisle.” – Emily & Sam

Yorkshire Wedding Barn

The location for this incredibly romantic day was the Yorkshire Wedding Barn, with Emily & Sam’s photographer Jessica Reeve and florist Lucy making the day extra special with their captures and floral creations. Lucy designed the most wonderful, unique arrangements in pastel shades and introduced them to their Photographer Jessica Reeve as they had worked together before. Making the couple feel totally at ease, Jessica captured the essence of this outdoor wedding beautifully. I love all the wedding guest pictures as well as the couple portraits because they really tell the story of everyone having the time of their lives.

INSPIRATION & STYLING

“We wanted a laid back, relaxed vibe on the day. We knew we wanted lots of flowers and a floral arch during the ceremony to complement the views of the countryside overlooking the lake. Our florist Lucy created the most stunning bouquets and floral décor. These included a variety of wildflowers and pastel colours which tied in perfectly with the setting.” – Emily & Sam

                      WEDDING DRESS

“After trying on a few wedding dresses, my mum and I decided to take on the task of designing and making the dress ourselves. It took a long time to source the fabric but once we found this, the design and fitting process was so much fun. I loved being able to create something totally unique which fit my vision perfectly. It was hard work though and we were adjusting and adding to the dress and the veil right up until the day before the wedding.” – Emily & Sam

If you need a little guidance before embarking on your first bridal appointment, check out our handy wedding dress guide and listen to our Buying Your Wedding Dress Podcast for lots of tips and advice.

The post Yorkshire Wedding Barn Reception with Homemade Wedding Dress appeared first on ROCK MY WEDDING | UK WEDDING PLANNING & DIRECTORY.

via ROCK MY WEDDING | UK WEDDING PLANNING & DIRECTORY https://www.rockmywedding.co.uk/yorkshire-wedding-barn/Nhà hàng Hương Sen chuyên buffet hải sản cao cấp✅ Tổ chức tiệc cưới✅ Hội nghị, hội thảo✅ Tiệc lưu động✅ Sự kiện mang tầm cỡ quốc gia 52 Phố Miếu Đầm, Mễ Trì, Nam Từ Liêm, Hà Nội http://huongsen.vn/ 0904988999 http://huongsen.vn/to-chuc-tiec-hoi-nghi/ https://trello.com/userhuongsen

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[raineydaywrites]

struck by the cupid’s bow

ao3 link in the source!

summary: Febuwhump day 4: Impaling

The excursion to get the Light should have been easy. It should have been just a nice day out with Lup's two favorite humans.

It wasn't.

It wasn't supposed to be a difficult excursion. The Light had landed at the top of a mountain, in an isolated region that was hard to reach by foot but easy in a ship like the Starblaster.

As far as they could tell, the isolation of the landing point meant that no one had gotten a hold of the Light, and very few were willing to try. The Light tended to draw people in, but that effect lessened the further away from it one was, and the danger of the climb combined with the distance meant that most people were able to resist the desire to acquire it.

So it should have been relatively easy. They weren't going to be stupid about their approach, of course, but they didn't have as much to worry about as usual, and they all had a lot of survival experience by now. This wasn't anything that they couldn't handle.

It was decided that Lup, Barry, and Lucretia would go after the object, while Taako, Magnus, and Davenport stayed on the ship. Merle had already been killed, and therefore couldn't help either way. An even split like that would ensure that both the excursion team and the ship were safe, and both parties were balanced, with each having one of the two heaviest hitters on the ship.

That kind of thinking was habit by this point, even if they weren't expecting major danger. It was just better to be safe.

Lup was excited about the mission, and who she was going on it with. She loved everyone on the crew, but they all had different personalities and senses of humor, and, while she certainly enjoyed a good party or low-brow joke herself, she liked to spend time with the two nerdiest members of the crew as well. Barry and Lucretia both had a tendency to be quieter and more serious, even if they definitely had their moments to the contrary, and while they weren't exactly overwhelmed by the louder voices of Magnus, Merle, Taako, and Lup herself, they didn't often fight to be heard either.

And Lup could admit to some nerdy tendencies in herself, (unlike Taako, who definitely had nerdy tendencies but refused to acknowledge them) and she enjoyed having time to discuss more academic and theoretical topics in depth from time to time.

Besides which, she always liked going places with Barry, even if this particular occasion wouldn't allow any alone time. It was nice to spend time with her boyfriend without the incessant teasing they had to endure at the hands of the rest of the crew. Lucretia might tease a little, but she was far less prone to teasing them about this than the rest of them were.

The Starblaster couldn't land right by the Light of Creation, given the rocky landscape, but it could get them fairly close, and it was a long but relatively easy hike from there. Lup had brought food in a picnic basket for when they got hungry, and there was a light breeze breaking the heat of the day. And when they were done, they'd be able to stop worrying about the Light for this cycle and just enjoy themselves and work on things they were interested in.

It had all the makings of a great day.

As they walked, they'd discussed the most interesting things that they'd noticed about this plane. When she and Barry started to discuss more sciency topics, Lucretia listened intently, scribbling in her journal every once in a while. Over the years, she'd developed her understanding of the scientific discussions that she, Barry, and Taako tended to delve into, but a lot of the time, she still preferred to listen in rather than contribute.

Lup wanted to encourage her to participate more in these conversations, but she could understand that Lucretia might just plain not be interested in the discussions. She hadn't studied science in school, and only minored in magical theory, so it was totally possible that she just didn't have fun talking about this stuff, and Lup didn't want to pressure her to do something she didn't like.

But every once in a while, Lucretia would chime in with a joke or suggestion, so Lup didn't feel like they were making her third-wheel too badly, and it was fun.

They got the Light without issue, but they took longer walking there than they'd expected, and they were only about halfway back when it started to get too dark for human eyes to see clearly.

Lup took the lead, as both the person with the most offensive magic of the three of them and the only one who wasn't hindered by the darkness around them. Lucretia and Barry had flashlights to carry, but those weren't nearly as helpful to them as Lup's darkvision was to her.

Their conversation died down a bit as they were making their way back. There wasn't much to be afraid of, really, but the dark was always a bit unnerving to most people, and almost everyone on the crew had at least a small degree of fear of the dark, after everything they'd experienced.

Poor Barry was one of the worse off though, and he kept jumping every couple minutes as he heard something or other rustling around.

"Here," Lucretia said, softly, to Barry, and Lup turned back curiously at the words.

Lucretia had grabbed Barry's hand to help keep him steady and moving forward, and the touch seemed to be helping to calm him a bit as well. Lup felt a quick wave of affection for both of her sweet humans, before turning back to keep a look out.

Even though there didn't seem to be any people coming after the Light, wild animals could still be a threat. And it was all the more important to be prepared, now that they had the Light in their possession.

It had an unfortunate habit of drawing people in, after all. And even monsters and animals could be affected by it at times, even if they were less prone to it, with their lower levels of intelligence. It was still a big, glowing ball of thrall to them, even if they didn't have the smarts to understand the potential it held.

It happened when they were taking a quick break to rest and get some water. They couldn't keep walking forever, after all, but still, Lup would be cursing the decision to stop there for weeks to come.

They were swarmed, suddenly, by some creatures that Lup had no name for, but they were clearly dangerous, with their giant claws and teeth. And they were bearing down on their group with a quickness.

Lup immediately moved to create a line of fire between them and the creatures, which would at the very least slow them down.

"Come on!" She shouted, and grabbed Lucretia's hand to pull her along, while Lucretia grabbed for Barry's hand.

Running through the dark with humans who couldn't see in the dark was not how Lup had wanted this day to end, but hopefully their linked hands would keep the other two a bit safer. She kept hearing hisses and exclamations of pain from Lucretia and Barry as they landed a bit off, but they hadn't fallen down yet, so they must be okay.

And then Barry made a sound that was much, much worse than the earlier ones.

Lup turned as soon as she heard the choked gasp from her boyfriend, only to see that he had been impaled through the chest on the claws of one of those creatures.

Lup and Lucretia immediately began firing off offensive spells, and the creature was downed before long, but that didn't fix Barry.

Lup dropped down to her knees to grab him, trying not to look at the wound too much. She'd seen enough to know it was fatal anyway, so she'd rather not have it burned into her memory any more than it already was.

Lucretia stood behind them, watching for any more of those things, but so far none had appeared. She kept her hands ready to fire off a shield spell, just in case.

"Sorry," Barry managed to say.

"You weren't aiming for this to happen, were you?" she said, with a teary laugh.

"No. Would rather not be doing this, actually," Barry chuckled. "Don't recommend. Still sorry though."

"Just two months left," Lup said. "It'll be fine. I'll be okay, don't worry."

She wasn't sure which of them she was trying to convince.

"Lup! I see more of them!" Lucretia warned, starting to cast.

"You gotta go, Lup. Get the Light back to the ship. I'm not gonna last much longer; don't risk it for me," Barry said.

"I'm not just gonna leave you, stupid!" Lup said back.

"I'm sorry, babe. But you have to. I'll be okay, you know that. I don't want to get you or Lucy or this whole plane killed over me," Barry insisted, tone taking on a pleading note.

"I can't," Lup said, tears starting to slip down her cheeks.

It was the first time in a long time that she'd had such a hard time leaving when somebody was dying. It had been hard, at first, to accept that they would come back and that it was best to get yourself to safety, but they'd all come to relative terms with it.

But this was Barry. And it was the first time he'd died since they'd gotten together. And the thought of spending the next two months without him just killed her. What kind of person just left their boyfriend to die?

"Luce..." Barry turned his head. "Take care of her, please?"

"Of course," Lucretia agreed, her own voice a bit choked up as well, but still keeping her eyes on the approaching creatures. "We'll miss you. See you next cycle."

"See ya both soon," Barry assured them, and then he reached down and yanked the claw out of his chest, bleeding much faster now.

"No!" Lup screamed, but he was gone before she finished the word.

Lucretia moved then, grabbing Lup's hand and tugging her back toward the ship urgently.

Lup let herself be dragged along, but she didn't turn, staring back at Barry's body and crying.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Lucretia was murmuring as they ran, and Lup barely registered it.

They kept running, and eventually Lup stopped crying, but she still felt numb.

The creatures must have stopped chasing at some point, because they weren't behind them anymore. Maybe they'd only wanted a meal.

The thought of those things eating Barry made Lup feel sick, but she was too numb for the thought to sink in far enough for that.

Eventually, they slowed, and Lucretia wrapped an arm around Lup's shoulders in the closest thing to a hug they could safely allow themselves while they were still out in the dark with unknown, dangerous creatures everywhere.

Lup realized that Lucretia was still softly murmuring comfort to her, and she buried her head in Lucretia's shoulders and let herself be guided and comforted.

Lup barely registered it as they arrived at the Starblaster, but at least it was warm and bright in here.

Lucretia shouted for Taako, who arrived grumpily, but rushed to Lup immediately when he'd had a moment to take in the scene.

Lucretia extricated herself from Lup's grip, and Lup whined at that, until Lucretia pushed her forward into Taako instead.

"I'll take the Light to the lab," Lucretia said, softly, and Lup felt Taako nod in agreement.

Taako started to lead Lup to his room, probably understanding that she wouldn't be able to bear the sight of her room, that was now basically her-and-Barry's room most of the time. Lup appreciated it, because it was hard enough to just keep moving with the images running through her head on repeat.

She fell asleep that night curled around her brother, and it helped, but she knew that nothing would fix the whole in her chest until Barry came back. Maybe not even then.

#taz balance #blupjeans #blupcretia #lup adventurezone #lucretia adventurezone #barry bluejeans #taz lucretia #lup taaco #febuwhump #febuwhumpday4

[sowingseedsandshootinghoops]

The Fight For Your Soul: Neil Gaiman’s “American Gods”

Note on the text: I used the 10 Anniversary Edition (with the author’s preferred text) of Neil Gaiman’s American Gods as published by Harper Collins in 2016

This is an amazing book written by a fantastic author. Anyone interested in fantasy or mythology would love this epic story of the battle between the Old Gods of America and the New Ones. 

The Old Gods are modern reincarnations of the gods of ancient mythology and religion, while the New Gods are different manifestations of technology. The powers of each group of gods is fueled by the belief of the people; and when the people stop believing, when there is no one left to talk about the old ways, when all the evidence of that god’s existence has been lost to the sands of time, then that god ceases to be as well: “Gods die when they are forgotten” (651). How this happens, and the origins of the fight between the two sets of gods, is detailed by Mr. Wednesday, who is the reincarnation of Odin, the Norse king of the gods, when he tries to convince some of the other Old Gods of the need to band together and fight the New Gods: 

When the people came to America, they brought us with them. They brought me, and Loki and Thor, and Anansi and the Lion-God, Leprechauns and Cluracans and Banshees, Kubera and Frau Holle and Asaroth [and all the rest]. We rode here in their minds and we took root. We traveled to the new lands across the oceans.The land is vast [ though, and] soon enough our people abandoned us, remembered us only as creatures of the old land, as things that had not with them to the new [one]. Our true believers [either] passed on, or stopped believing, and we were left [behind], lost and scared and dispossessed, to get by on what little smidgens of worship or belief we could find. . . . So that’s what we’ve done, gotten by on the edges of things where no one was watching us too closely. . . . we exist in the cracks of society. . . . Now, as all of you will have reason aplenty to discover for yourselves, there are new gods growing in America, clinging to the growing knots of belief: gods of credit card[s] and freeway[s], of telephone[s], of radio[s], of hospital[s], and of television[s]. Gods of plastics and of beepers and neon. Proud gods, fat and foolish creatures, puffed up by their own newness and importance. They are aware of us and they hate us. . . . You are fooling yourselves if you believe otherwise. They will destroy us if they can. It is time for us to band together. It is time for us to act (175-176).

Technical Boy, the New God of technology, echoes Mr. Wednesday’s message when he kidnaps Shadow, the protagonist who works for Mr. Wednesday, and tells him to deliver a message to his employer: 

You tell him he’s history. He’s forgotten. He’s old. And he better accept it. Tell him that we are the future and that we don’t give a fuck about him or anyone like him. His time is over. . . . He has been consigned to the Dumpster of history while people like me ride our limos down the superhighway of tomorrow. . . . Tell him that we have fucking reprogrammed reality. Tell him that language is a virus and that religion is an operating system and that prayers are too much fucking spam” (70-71). 

Ok, so the New Gods are definitely powerful but do they really see themselves as gods? Gods in the same way that the Old Gods see themselves as gods? Well just look at the conversation that Shadow has with Media, the goddess of television, who is talking to him through the character of Lucy Ricardo from the T.V. show I Love Lucy: 

I’m the idiot box. I’m the T.V. I’m the all-seeing eye and the world of the cathode ray. I’m the boob tube. I’m the little shrine the family gathers around to adore.’ ‘You’re the television? Or someone in the television?’ ‘The television is the altar.  I’m what people are sacrificing to.’ ‘What do they sacrifice?’ asked Shadow. ‘Their time mostly,’ said Lucy. ‘Sometimes each other’. . . . ‘You’re a god?’ [asked] Shadow. Lucy smirked and took a lady-like puff of her cigarette. ‘You could say that’” (221-222).  

We don’t tend to think of modern America as being particularly religious, especially when compared societies of the ancient past. Mr. Wednesday however argues that modern Americans feel exactly the same impulse that the ancient ones did, they just express it differently. Before, the people would feel drawn to a particular place for reasons that they don’t entirely understand, and then they would “canonize” the spot by building a religious site on top of it. Think of the Oracle of Delphi and how it was built above two fault lines. In America, something similar happens. Americans “officially memorialize” things that are sacred to them. Think of about things like the site at World Trade Center, or the creation of a museum dedicated to a particular topic, or how a place of the most intense natural beauty gets further deified when it is made into a national park. Americans feel that same pull towards the divine that the ancients did, they just deal with it differently. For Mr. Wednesday the phenomenon is most obvious in the creation of what he calls roadside attractions: 

It’s perfectly simple’, said Wednesday. In other countries, over the years, people recognized the places of power. Sometimes it would be a natural formation, sometimes it would be a place that was somehow just special. They knew something important was happening there, that there was some focusing point, some channel, some window to the Immanent. And so they would build temples or churches or erect stone circles. . . . In the USA people still get the call, or some of them, and they feel themselves being called to from the transcendent void and they respond to it by building beer bottles of somewhere that they’ve never visited, or by erecting a gigantic bat-house in some part of the country that bats have traditionally declined to visit. Roadside attractions: people feel themselves being pulled to places where, in other parts of the world, they would recognize that part of themselves is truly transcendent, and buy a hot dog and walk around, feeling satisfied on a level that they cannot describe, and profoundly dissatisfied on a level below that (151-152). 

They are satisfied because they are, on some level, responding to that call, and profoundly dissatisfied because they are unable to recognize such places for what they are. They think that they are “just” going on a trip somewhere without realizing that the joy creating by places like Disneyland, the world’s largest roadside attraction, comes from the same mysterious that it always has. But because people allow themselves to just enjoy it on the surface level as a place full of rides and candy, they can’t really appreciate it. Those who can though are able to get something much more meaningful out of the “happiest place on earth” than those who can’t. They can, for lack of a better word, get a more real “experience”. The problem with the New Gods isn’t that they are evil, they’re not. The problem is that they can only stay on the surface, and not actually confront the real issues that are a part of being human. The Old Gods of love, hate, life, death, pain, joy etc know about human life on the level that the New Gods of technology simply don’t. 

And then, after all this build up, there comes the showdown. And it is an epic one. The Old Gods versus the New Gods: the war which had already “begun [even though] nobody saw it” (469). The war had already begun because it is war being waged everyday inside the soul of every man, woman, and child who has ever lived. A myth is a story that serves to explain some mysterious part of our world: of either our human nature and “nature’s nature”. If that is true than what Neil Gaiman has given us in American Gods is a modern, American myth. Because what he attempts to do here is explain different, mysterious, aspects of the soul of a 21st century American. What happens on the battlefield- a fight between two different systems of thought, between two different ways of living, is meant to mirror the fight that happens inside of every person. In the pages leading up to the central battle, Gaiman takes a break from the narrative to tell the reader that 

none of this is actually happening. If it makes you more comfortable, you could simply think of this as a metaphor. Religions are, by definition, metaphors. After all God is a dream, a hope, a woman, an ironist, a father, a city, a house of many rooms, a watchmaker who left his purse chronometer in the desert, someone who loves you, even, perhaps, against all evidence, a celestial being whose only interest is to make sure your football team, army, business, or marriage thrives, prospers, and triumphs over all opposition. Religions are places to stand and look and act, vantage points from which to view the world. So none of this is happening. Such things could not happen in this day and age. Never a word of it is literally true, although it all happened, and the next thing that happened happened like this (643). 

So what has Gaiman given us? A myth, a metaphor, a way in which we can view ourselves. A way for us to look at what we believe and why: a way for us to look at the gods we’ve created, what sacrifices we’ve offered to them, and to determine if we want to keep on worshiping them. The war between the old and the new, between the need to adapt who we are to a set of new circumstances while still needing to hold onto the fundamental aspects of our “old” selves, is one that we all wage everyday. 

People are meaning-making machines. They populate, kill, and then re-populate every corner of their world with meaning, sometimes the old meaning gets replaced by something new and sometimes it does not. Then they hope that the new identity that arises up from the ashes of this battle will be old enough to retain its authenticity while being new enough to adapt to the new circumstances which they have encountered in their lives. If too much of the old identity dies, than what remains is counterfeit. But the new identity is killed off, what remains is unable to grow and adapt to the new circumstances which life presents and will, in time, die itself. One of the greatest torments of life is that the synthesis between these two identities is never perfect and always, in an emotional sense, a bloody mess: 

The paradigms were shifting. He could feel it. The old world of infinite vastness and resources and future, was being confronted else- a web of energy, of opinions, of gulfs. People believe, thought Shadow. It’s what people do. They believe. And then they will not take responsibility for their beliefs; they conjure things, and do not trust their conjurations. People populate the darkness with ghosts, with gods, with electrons, with tales. People imagine, and people believe: and it is that belief, that rock solid belief, that makes things happen. The mountain top was an arena, he could see them arrayed. They were too big. Everything was too big in that place. . . . Shadow felt sorry for them all. There was an arrogance to the new ones. Shadow could see that. But there was also a fear. They were afraid that unless they kept face with a changing world unless they remade and redrew and rebuilt the world in their image, their time would already be over. Each side faced the other with bravery. . . .  Shadow could see an initial skirmish had already taken place. There was already blood on the rocks. They were readying themselves for the real battle, the real war. (678-680).  

A new identity is about to be born. Both for the individual, in real life, and for America, in terms of the story. 

What Shadow learns by the end is that the gods don’t need to fight each other. That the new gods need the old gods to anchor them, and that the old gods need the new gods in order to be able to reincarnate properly into this new world. When Mr. Wednesday finally dies, he is able to reincarnate into a body, into a way of living, that isn’t so at odds with the modern world. And that’s the point. Don’t be afraid to look at what you believe, to look at what gods you create in your life. What you believe is a reflection of who you are. The point is to take who you are and allow yourself to grow while maintaining your essence. So that one day you can be living like Odin, totally himself and totally at peace in the modern world. 

#neilgaiman #americangods #god #belief #change #identity #evolution