#and then some days I’m just On Edge

[daydadahlias]

how are you today? xx

Lmfao we are not slaying. How are you!!

#I’ll figure it out later #but last night was #oof #yeah last night was oof and I’m still kind of #shaky from it #and then some days I’m just On Edge #and I’ve been kind of super testing my gymnophobia lately #like watching shows with nudity I mean and I’ve been fine but I think it’s starting to take its toll #so I’m just a little #aaa #I’ll be better in a bit!! just need some #time #to steady myself #maïa #pigeon

[pepperpixel]

More powerpunk girls art!!!! Cuz they are just. Fun to draw ghgh- this time trying to get a better design for brat! Cuz even tho I liked the old one I had.. I wanted to try and give her a lil bit more edge… so! Here were some experiments w that! I didn’t succeed in. Solidifying anything, as u can probably notice. Considering her outfit is slightly different in every picture ghgh- but! Idk! Maybe that’s ok lol. She’s the sorta character who would have a bunch of different outfits it’s fine lol

#powerpuff girls #the powerpuff girls #ppg #powerpunk girls #ppnkg #ppg brat #ppg brute #ppg berserk #doodles #also featuring! I think the first picture I’ve drawn of brute smiling lol! #anyway yeah… been workin on these all day my brains mush… have some powerpunks I hope u enjoy them ghgh- #actually. more thoughts rlly quick. #why I wanted to give brat a lil more edge: there called the power PUNK girls… and I felt like brat was having a severe punk deficiency ghg #like. I don’t think she needs to actually BE punk. but just… needed a lil more edge.. a lil more a teensy bit #i am also thinking about this in regards to berserk. which is why I gave her lil fishnet gloves here lol. but idk! #I have some ideas for her but… I do like the design I already have for her too.. so idk. I’m thinking about it tho #ok now I’m done w thoughts lol

[wundrousarts]

For any Nevermoor fans that've ever been interested in getting their hands on the UK hardcover editions of the series, with the wonderful cover designs..... I think they might be out of print (which. makes sense with the gold foil) so. goodluck and godspeed for finding them secondhand, because it was surprisingly hard to do online.

#nevermoor #full disclosure I discovered this like a month ago but wanted to wait until all of mine arrived correctly to share just in case 🫣🫣🫣 #I was terrified they’d send paperbacks or non-UK editions instead lol #I now have three sets of first three books. mental illness. can silverborn come out already 😭😭😭 #afaik the wundersmiths are still in stock officially just based on some wording the supply is dwindling lol #got nevermoor and wundersmith in the mail the other day as I posted about. 😁. #hollowpox arrived today from a different seller and with less damage from the transit but oh well #bc one seller had 1 and 2 while another had 3. 🤷😔 lol #they do seem to be in stock signed! normally + used but I didn’t want that bc I think the neon plain sprayed edges are soooo ugly I’m sorry #also I’d love to get my books signed personally one day. all….. nine and counting of them…… lolllll…. #I have the american hollowpox signed bc I got it thru the owlcrate box which was fun! #RIP to chances of a silverborn box though now that owlcrate jr is discontinued 😭😭😭

[askamnesiamoonjumper]

me after editing the aau prologue for the bajillionth time

#First chapter I changed the opening bc I always thought it felt off/abrupt and wanted to have it be prince pov from the start #I wanna get in his head more ok sue me #Beyond that tho it was just some wording edits #Specifically with the internal dialogue moments I helped them flow more/feel more like thoughts #Also mj gets a bit more of their usual edge/pessimism bc the prologue they always felt a bit too “ówò sad poor smol bean” or whatever #That’s it tho chapter 4 I didn’t change bc it’s peak #Did add some teases to later things tho like snatch senses mjs soul at the end of his chap but doesn’t realize it #Or like I added the Not Now running thing in the earlier chapters bc it was more of a chapter 4 thing so I wanted 2 set it up more so boom #I think that’s all the notable edits ig like I said just description additions the only actual new thing is the opener for chap 1 👍 #Also also I got to include a hc that I have that I neglected to do before but I hc a!prince used plural internal dialogue #Because lol we love dramatic irony in this house #Grace post #this reminds me tho one of these days I should look through heart strings chapter one to look for editing things #Bc I think I did that recently but I don’t remember it much tho #Mostly just when the Hat stuff starts that was the parts I never directly rewrote I just edited them so they feel out of place in my brain #Also I’d wanna edit her dialogue bc it *was* in character (after rereading her diary’s to confirm) but I wanna have her be a bit more snark #Hat is Hard bc i Need the balance of cute little kid and also smug little shit (affectionate) like she is a pain to write man cries #This is just me rambling lol ignore it I just wanted to spam aau thoughts #In other news I made shapes redesigns but I’m on the fence on posting them bc idk if I wanna spoil or not hhhhhhhhh #Nowadays I’m more chill w spoiling things than I used to be #But there are a handful of things I’ve kept shut about (ex being princes name or mjs species stuff etc) #So I’m not sure if this thing with shapes i should keep secret or just post bc I used to spoil it but idk now #Shrugs #maybe I’ll do a poll later I dunno #Ok yapping over byeeeeee

[willowfey]

starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal

#the first thing i do when i become conscious is check my phone to make sure nothing terrible happened to anyone i love while i slept #i never ever ever have plans and if anyone Else has plans i feel sick with anxiety until they’re back from them #if i have smth planned that week i feel completely tense and on edge until it happens #i didn’t used to be like this i hate hate hate it #i used to feel safe in my little house in the forest where i knew everyone in town and knew my way around with my eyes shut #it’s still the only place in the world i feel safe. that’s so unfair #my separation anxiety is ridiculous. if my mom goes to the store and doesn’t answer a text right away i start panicking #if my sister goes to a class or smth idk what to do with myself until she gets back #if i’m in the shower or have the fan on or headphones in suddenly i’ll think i hear someone shouting and i’ll have to quickly turn it off #ever since i moved here it’s been getting worse. i don’t feel safe here to begin with i feel so out of place it’s unreal #but then covid and trauma with my mother’s health and my uncle dying and multiple relatives getting sick and things happening to my friends #i know i have ptsd from very specific things that happened and i live on a hospital path so every day i hear sirens #and every time i do it fully triggers an anxiety attack in me for at least an hour. and my mom too #since being here my hometown burned and friends i thought would never grow apart did and my brother moved out #i know a lot of that is just Being In Your Low Twenties but also some of my worst trauma has happened in the last handful of years and now #now i’m just always scared. always uneasy. always worried. never fully relaxed. never feel fully safe. & idk how to be myself through that #i’m always paranoid and i never trust people irl anymore. ppl my mom or sister meet. i am so suspicious of them constantly. #if anything small changes at all i can’t handle it. my ability to deal with change has gone so downhill #in the last 5 years of being here i realised i was autistic which led to me unmasking a bit and that. comes with pros & cons doesn’t it #my own health has declined. my body changed a lot in ways i wasn’t prepared for and i had to get rid of most of my comfort clothes #sometimes i just wanna sit on the ground and cry about it and not have to also be the one that picks myself back up. y’know??? #but at the very least i’d love to just wake up One Day w/o feeling sick with anxiety already. just one day i want to wake up feeling rested #i want to be myself again but can i start with not being scared? not being tired? i don’t know what to do anymore #i just watch my comfort videos and read my comfort fics and stay in my daydream world

[ssreeder]

I saw that other ask about Zuko ending up firelord in LIAB and I'd just like to add on to that my thoughts abt it in the original show- was it just me or did it feel really out of character for Iroh to try and push Zuko into a major leadership role at 16?? Like how did he possibly think that was a good idea, what with all the seriously heavy burdens that it would bring on to Zuko? Not to mention Zuko has had barely any chance to be a regular teenager for a second throughout the show, what with the 3 year banishment and then he's immediately pushed to be firelord.. Also the fact that firelord feels really unfitting for Zuko?? He's shown to not be a good leader. I feel like coming out of a 3 year banishment and awful childhood I don't think he'd want to be surrounded by constant reminders of his abusive father and not to mention be in the same role his *abusive father* was in... Sorry for the impromptu and slightly incomprehensible rant... this is still one of my biggest gripes in the show. Btw your writing is wonderful and im so excited for the next chapter of LIAB! Have a great day :D

Hiiii!! (here is another impromptu & very incomprehensible rant)

I think Zuko would have been a good fire lord if he was given the proper training & support. But I have to say I think it was completely in character for iroh to do that to Zuko…

I enjoy iroh but I think his character is EXTREMELY flawed & his way of helping zuko develop from a young angry hurt 13 year old boy could have been handled a lot better. Yeah yeah he isn’t zukos dad but he signed up to mentor and be there for Zuko so he could have mentored him a little more. (a lot more - I don’t think is was likely Zuko had any growth from 13-16 because he was pretty awful at season 1 and disrespected everyone including iroh and was in so much denial about his situation it was SCARY)

I could go on & on about iroh and his missed opportunities with zuko but I think irohs “Zuko will overcome and he is good inside” way of thinking is what prompted him to plop his teenage nephew on that throne even though he was like 3 days into his redemption (ok yeah it was maybe a month? Idk but not very long). The anger, sadness, self doubt, unhealthy coping mechanisms were all still there - but iroh is very…. ‘He’s got this I believe in him’

Even if it means zukos going to struggle and stumble over himself and work extra hard to try and be a good leader with (let’s face it) almost no healthy leadership experience. (5 minutes into being aangs fire bending trainer he is yelling at him. his idea of how to get aang to take training more seriously is to attack him - yeah let’s give him a fucking country! Yiiipeeeeeeee)

If iroh cared about Zuko he would hang up his tea uniform, take his RIGHTFUL place as fire lord and have Zuko become his crowned prince and start learning how to be fire lord while UNCLEEEEE took the initial burden of becoming fire lord right after the war. But nahhhh let’s invent boba or whatever he was fucking doing in BSS

*deep breath* sorry… I promise I LIKE iroh… I just….. DISAGREE with his methods.

Sorry about my rant anon haha

#(but iroh deserves to retire - blah blah blah - #NO! you get your dragon of the west ass back in the FN & finish this the right way) #I don’t even understand how that works out #did iroh think because he liberated BSS from the FN he could stay?? #did he get a pardon?? #where’s zukos community service?! #kid burned down kyoshi island he needs to go clean that up #idc if it’s already cleaned up making him sweep the dojo and polish uniforms #sorry anon I appreciate your ask #but yeah irohs whole method with Zuko is just… yeah #it’s ok to be a LITTLE more assertive when it’s for their own good #if a child is wandering close to the edge of a cliff do you #a. say - ‘child do you believe the path you are taking will lead you to safety or peril?’ #b. yell - ‘ARE YOU TRYING TO DIE?! GET AWAY FROM THAT LEDGE!’ #c. snatch his ass up so fast and plop him down in a safe area and then go over the dangers of CLIFFS #I’m going to go with c… but that’s just me #you’re the best anon have a great day #yippiieeee glad you’re liking liab!!! #can’t wait for some zukka next chapter:):):) #ask #liab

[floral-hex]

Can’t tell if I’m so anxious because of drug withdrawal or it’s just because I have a bad brain 😓

#I took buspar for about 4 nights then had to stop because it put me on edge #first night without it and I’m hit with the same feelings again #just sad and hopeless and my nerves feel sick #I had thought there wasn’t supposed to be any real withdrawal from that stuff #so maybe this is just me being sad #quick rant: I feel so hopless and alone and scared #it’s 4:30am and I know there’s nothing I can do right now about it so I should just chill out #brains suck #just go to sleep! #I have my first therapy session tomorrow/today so we’ll see #and I’m realizing now I really need to bite the bullet and apply to some jobs #any jobs. even if I’m afraid my hearing will go out and I’ll fuck up working #I NEED to get out of this house more. I NEED money. I NEED some hope for a future. #I want moneyyyy so I can go out to eat and take my brothers to the movies and help my mother with bills #I can’t just stay awake all night suffering. I need to be productive. #ian I swear you will feel so much better with a purpose #even if that purpose is just to work a register for a few hours a day #it’ll be okay #we can do this. we’ll talk to the therapist tomorrow. we’ll call our doc and bitch about our meds. we’ll apply for jobs #we’ll shower and eat and go out in the sun and it’ll be okay #baby steps baby #get a job. get money. buy a burger. find someone to kiss once or twice. #I can do this #I feel everything falling apart and fading away and I have to fight that #I’m fighting it now just verbalizing this and it’s helping #it’ll be okay ian! #life can still be beautiful! #you’re afraid of losing everything well then fucking grab it hold it do what you can #I’m so fucking scared but I have to try #text

[urbanbirdbud]

having a category 5 neurodivergent event (overstimulated bc all sounds all the time) so ive made a nest in the closet and am just chilling here in the dark eating pretzels and trying to not go insane

#been in here 2 hours now and I’m feeling a lot better. not completely better (still feel rather on edge w any noise) #but at least the feeling of imminent explosion has died down #10/10 reccomend #turns out being in a dark quiet enclosed space resets my brain a bit #I just open the door periodically to let air in and made one quick exit to use the bathroom and get said pretzels #yum #ubb chirps #edit: realize ppl might think it’s fireworks bc New Years and all that #v much not fireworks surprisingly. it was literally just. every small noise of like. my family using their phones and watching tv and shit #compounded w some v shitty stressors from earlier in the day that started the spiral and then everything just kept making things worse #but I am feeling nominally better and sleep will prob help. hopefully. but also I’m v hungry and it’s 2am so I cant go make something to eat

[gift-of-prophecy]

can i be disgusting for a second? would u guys stop liking me?

#i’m thinking about dean… #unfortunately?? i’m not sure #sunday may be the lords day but also apparently it’s daydream about toying w a mans bulge through his underwear day #i just want this man on his back and have him go from teasing me all day to me edging him with some dry humping and shit am i crazy #i love being asexual and normal about fictional characters anyways #dean winchester #spn #apollo’s thots #i’ll continue w my nastiest eventually if y’all care or whatever #sometimessss this blog lives up to being 18+ lmao

[mcwhytubers]

I want to finish our storage system but Iskall literally won’t let me pick up a single piece of diorite so I can create a sorting spot for it.

#pearl talks #system shenanigans #he’s just sitting in cocon watching me #and every time I pick some up #she pushes to front to throw it off the edge of the ravine by our base #or throws it into the ocean on the other side #like man cmon at least let me put one into the item frame #I get so frustrated when we don’t have a sorting system so I’m ensuring we have one from day one now

[vcrnons]

wonderful start to a monday : someone was using my mug this morning when i got into the office

#[ redacted ] if u don’t stop PISSING ME OFF #I don’t like her anyway but this has put me over the edge #it’s so obviously not a general use mug #and I keep it in a separate cupboard from the general use mugs on purpose so that it doesn’t get mistaken for one #esp because last week I came in and someone had PUT it in the general mug place so I made a point of putting it back #mystery solved everyone this has probably been going on for a little #while. bc. I was off for two weeks and haven’t really had many hot drinks since bc it’s been too warm for them. so #I’m being dramatic don’t even mind me I am just so azrhfkslshddkdneh WHY ME #WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME AND MY STUFF #this happened in my old job when I had a mug that had a massive ‘j’ on it #yk. for my NAME. #and one day I saw some guy walking out the staffroom with it in his hand and I was like WHY WOULD YOU— #YOUR NAME STARTS WITH A K???? WHY ARE YOU USING MY J MUG #fuming. absolutely fuming #shut up j

[slav-every-day]

#happy friendiversary to my best friend 5ever!!! #slav #slav every day #voltron #she did a gorgeous art for me and we watched Do Revenge #also! #on a vastly unrelated note #I’m getting dinner out completely by myself right now #both very tired cause I just took a nap #and also slightly on edge cause I’m walking around after dark and after my college won a football game #and some incredibly cute punk girl told me she liked my leather jacket #the one with the ‘eat the rich’ patch lol #it both stunned me awake and calmed me tf down #I love you girl #wherever you are

[galariangengar]

💭

#hhha ha…. of course of fucking course this would happen to me #welp just found out on Instagram that the guy I had a crush on my last year of college and even made moves on #he posted on his Instagram story today of a Polaroid of him and a girl with a heart emoji…. guess that’s his new girlfriend 🙃… #I mean yea it took me some time but I did eventually get over him #but mostly cuz the pandemic started half way through our final semester of college #but I did dm him before we started spring break basically asking him out to coffee which still to this day he never saw… #and i could live with the fact that I did try/I got the guts/encouragement to make some moves on him #tbh I still did kinda like him this whole time but knew I shouldn’t bother trying #and also I haven’t been doing well in several aspects for the past couple years since graduating & pandemic #… it hurts… it does hurt seeing him with a girl… but… idk… #I’ll need a day or two to get over it #ha… I’m crying a little but it’s cuz of all the other stressful shit going on and that is what pushed me to the edge… #jazz uses curse! 💜

[consulaaris]

been trying to joke & put on a brave face about it a little, but any way you slice it doesn’t really change the fact that this is the first big holiday that i’m spending completely 100% alone

#rae talks #i’m……… yeah. stings a little extra because this whole situation is bc my mom didn’t want me back #bc she’d got a whole little plan in her head and lied to me and my dad until it was too late to do anything #trying to make the best of it but. yeah. hurts. especially since i don’t get to see my dad often. #started to get together some ingredients to make a somewhat nice meal for thanksgiving day & make a nice memory but yeah lol i’m just sad #the pity in this old man’s face/the way he talked to me in the grocery store line today when he asked me my plans for the week #sent me over the edge a little :’) #i do feel silly for being upset too which like. makes everything feel even worse sjdjjdjd

[bulletsfrank]

been sober for a whole day and i care about things? i like have passion? i’m excited? i’m playing games and watching things?

#see like this is fine this is awesome until i have a depressive episode. then i rip the skin off my own bones #LOVE that bipolar! #also i’m having vague ‘withdrawals’ from weed #like it’s not an addictive substance but #i’m nauseous and have no appetite #i feel really disassociated which is normal but more than usual #i’m dizzy and my body feels flighty. like low blood sugar #also my lungs won’t stop wheezing like gravelly rocks?? like ok! #if you read these tags why. but #i’m gonna try to maintain some kind of sobriety for a little while #it’s unpleasant but it’s nothing compared to the cocaine withdrawals ! 😭💀 17 year old kris was crazy for that one ! #i know it just sucks mentally the most cuz i keep thinking about wanting to smoke #i feel the difference in myself though... i’m more present #i initially started smoking every single day to cope with working literally 70 hours a week #and then never dropped it for like 9 months lmao. but. i don’t wanna stop entirely #i just wish i could control myself around substance lolz #like everything it’s just a huge double edged sword for me #like smoking ALL DAY.. ruins me and makes me a zombie which is /neg and /pos at the same time #i just get really scared because i don’t want to go back to drinking every night. i would rather die. and weed helped that #so :-/!

[spacegaynsfw]

Me: huh I wonder why I’m so horny

Also me: [did my t shot tuesday]

Also me: [hasn’t cum in 43 days]

#and in that 43 days I’ve done like. probably a few hundred edges #I’m supposed to be doing 25 every night but there are some nights I just can’t. too tired #but yknow #tori says things #max says things