#and then one of my choices was my moms best friend bc she said after she saw my moms videos of tds2 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

diorsluv · 2 months

Text

casual , part 1

“ my friends call me a loser ”

series m. list next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

yourusername

liked by edwards.73, markestapa, and 85,331 others

yourusername took a break from michigan but someone wouldn’t leave me alone 🙄

view all comments

edwards.73 aw c’mon you know you’d hate it if i left you alone

→ yourusername you can’t handle not talking to me for 15 minutes

→ edwards.73 NOT TRUE

→ yourusername i’ll pull up the receipts 🤨

username30 so prettyyyy

vivianliu more like you couldn’t stop complaining about being “so far away from him”

→ yourusername ummmm! i don’t remember that actually 😁😁

→ edwards.73 oh???

→ _quinnhughes my god you two are disgusting

→ yourusername don’t be a hater quinny ☹️

rutgermcgroarty 🤮

→ yourusername 🖕

→ rutgermcgroarty meanie

→ yourusername rut i will shove a ruler down your throat

→ rutgermcgroarty kinky 😈😈

→ yourusername OH MY GOD RUTGER

username24 THE VIEW??

username19 her n ethan have been flirting for MONTHS i just wanna know what’s goin on 😞

jackhughes lucky 😒

→ yourusername WHY R U MAD AT ME 😒

→ jackhughes UR IN ITALY RN AND IM NOT

→ yourusername then maybe u shouldve considered ur career choices???

→ jackhughes AT LEAST I GET MONEY

markestapa are you single asking for a friend

→ yourusername yeah i am 🤭🤭

→ markestapa wrong answer 🤬

→ yourusername oh! i didn’t realize i was getting INTERROGATED

→ markestapa yeah you better go apologize to your man rn

→ yourusername what man?? 😥

luca.fantilli yeah n i’m real fucking glad you’re not in michigan so i can finally get some peace and quiet 🙄

→ yourusername WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

→ luca.fantilli YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT MEANS

→ yourusername NO???

→ luca.fantilli maybe bc it sounds like a FUCKING BURGLAR is in the other room all the time

→ dylanduke25 😨

→ yourusername 🤐

→ markestapa fr she’s acting like we don’t know she’s always sneaking out in the morning 🙄

→ yourusername GUYS STOP MY BROTHERS CAN READ THIS SHIT

→ jackhughes i really wish i couldn’t read ts

→ lhughes_06 wtf happened when i left michigan??

→ rutgermcgroarty you don’t wanna know lhughes_06

username2 luca’s comment thread 😭😭

→ username56 LMAOO

adamfantilli my country??? 🇮🇹

→ yourusername ur country ‼️

→ luca.fantilli ITALIA 🫡

username43 best hughes sibling confirmed

username20 the guys have no remorse for ethan’s love life 😭

→ username4 wait how do we know they’re talking about ethan

→ username91 i mean it’s pretty obvious when u look at it

mackie.samo as a representative of the gc i can confirm you did not leave him alone

→ markestapa BRO what happens in the gc stays in the gc

→ dylanduke25 no no right we did appoint him as a representative

→ yourusername 😥😥

→ vivianliu clearly i’m not the only one getting screenshots of the convos..

→ edwards.73 who the hell said u were the rep of the gc

→ lhughes_06 WHAT GC???

username68 please just give me one chance, i PROMISE i can do better than ethan

_alexturcotte the view 👌

→ yourusername the view 😮‍💨

username32 drop a closet haul pleaseee

yourusername

liked by lhughes_06, _quinnhughes, and 109,816 others

yourusername i was going back through the old albums and.. 😟

tagged: jackhughes, _quinnhughes, lhughes_06

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trevorzegras the nicest they’ve ever been to you

→ yourusername THIS ‼️‼️

→ lhughes_06 NO WE’RE NICE

→ yourusername name one time you’ve been nice to me in the past five years

→ lhughes_06 i let you move into the apartment when you got into college

→ yourusername BECAUSE MOM AND DAD FORCED YOU TO

lhughes_06 you were an accident

→ yourusername you’re lying out of your ass rn

→ lhughes_06 THINK ABOUT IT, all of us were born 2 years apart but you were only born a year after me

→ jackhughes you had to share a room with lukey because they had only planned for 3 kids

→ _quinnhughes you had to wear boy clothes for the first year of your life because they didn’t wanna buy clothes for you if you were gonna grow out of it in a month

→ jackhughes and mom and dad DID say you were an accident

→ yourusername …

username34 CUTEEEE

username20 HITTING US WITH THE GOOD CONTENT

rutgermcgroarty you were so cute as a kid

→ yourusername i know i was 🥰🥰

→ rutgermcgroarty so what happened 💀

→ markestapa that’s a knee slapper right there

→ yourusername were you two dropped on your heads as babies

→ rutgermcgroarty no but it seems like you were

edwards.73 we would’ve dated in pre-school

→ yourusername no i was wayyy cuter than you were

→ edwards.73 you’re not wrong

→ luca.fantilli barf

→ mackie.samo god ethan you’re like a lovesick puppy

→ dylanduke25 i want to bleach my eyes you guys are gross

→ adamfantilli STOP. PUBLICLY. FLIRTING.

→ lhughes_06 ew ew EWWWW please don’t tell me you’re hitting on my BABY sister

→ markestapa you have no idea 💀 lhughes_06

→ lhughes_06 wait what.

username58 AHHH BABY HUGHES

colecaufield so when did the siblingly love turn violent

→ yourusername when jack bit me on the arm

→ lhughes_06 when she karate kicked my head

→ jackhughes when she broke my new stick

→ _quinnhughes when she started spitting food in my face

→ yourusername I DID NONE OF THAT

username76 luke’s so damn clueless 😭

liked by yourusername

dylanduke25 you look absolutely traumatized in that fifth pic…

→ yourusername the log ride was scary 😞

_alexturcotte i see a common theme of jack being the most affectionate

→ yourusername he still is 🫢

→ _alexturcotte we can see that

→ jackhughes i feel like we’re all equally affectionate

→ yourusername well now you’re just fibbing to fib 🙄

→ trevorzegras we all know quinn hates her the most

→ _quinnhughes WOAH WOAH WOAH since when did we decide i ever hated my baby sis???

→ colecaufield it’s not like you hate her you’re just incapable of showing her any form of affection

→ jackhughes why are we getting family therapy rn

username22 BABY PHOTOS

markestapa how cute (i know luke hated you)

→ yourusername HE DID HATE ME

→ lhughes_06 I NEVER HATED YOU????

→ markestapa there’s barely any photos of you and her together as kids 💀💀

elblue6 your cheeks were always so rosy!

→ yourusername mom 😭

→ elblue6 what? it’s where you got your nickname!

→ lhughes_06 yeah ROSIE thats how u got ur nickname 🥰

→ yourusername shut up moosey 😒

→ luca.fantilli ROSIE???

→ yourusername THE OTHERS WERENT SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT AND NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID lhughes_06

→ rutgermcgroarty we’re calling you rosie from now on

→ yourusername please god no i’ll do anything

mackie.samo ROSIE.

→ yourusername matthew. 😑

→ mackie.samo would you be willing to mingle with one of my friends

→ yourusername i meannnn which friend 🫢

→ mackie.samo WRONG. FUCKING. ANSWER.

→ yourusername OH MY GOD

username35 jack was obviously the best big brother

username17 luke doesn’t have any pics alone with you what happened 😭😭

username76 jack was definitely forced to be in half of those photos

vivianliu awww remember when we first met and i had a crush on quinn

→ yourusername yeah and i never understood why 🙄🙄

→ _quinnhughes wait you had a crush on me??

→ vivianliu yes we established this a long time ago huggy bear pay attention

→ yourusername and then you liked jack 🤮

→ jackhughes okay we DEFINITELY did not establish that one

→ vivianliu yes we did you just weren’t there

→ yourusername AND THEN YOU LIKED LUKE IN COLLEGE

→ lhughes_06 WHATTT 😨

→ vivianliu luke i literally confessed to you when i was drunk stop acting clueless

→ lhughes_06 WHEN??????

→ yourusername long story short you liked all my brothers but you’re out of their league sooo

→ jackhughes woah woah woah idk abt that one

→ vivianliu 🖕 jackhughes

next chapter notes ) sooo i changed the format up a bit but here’s the first chapter 😈 not sure how i’m gonna want this to end if i’m actually gonna base it off of the song… BUT IF IT DOESN’T END HAPPILY DON’T BLAME ME and ofc just comment, dm, or ask if you wanna be tagged!

#ethan edwards #ethan edwards fic #ethan edwards fanfic #ethan edwards x y/n #ethan edwards x reader #quinn hughes #jack hughes #luke hughes #mackie samoskevich #mark estapa #dylan duke #rutger mcgroarty #adam fantilli #luca fantilli #trevor zegras

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strwyofthesun · 11 months

Text

forgive me, goodbye [pt. 2]

pairing: re2r!leon kennedy x intern!reader

synopsis: after settling into the uk, you learn of the raccoon city incident and suffer a great loss. after graduating from med school and starting up your internship, you meet someone who you thought you've left in the past.

word count: 3.7k

cont: smut, unprotected sex, p in v, mentions of death, mentions of blood, hurt/comfort, there's so much stuff goin on idk anymore

a/n: i did not expect to write a part 2 of this but my best friend bitched about not liking the ending so i did this out of spite <3 also! this takes place after the re2 events and before operation javier. i did alot of research on the re timeline and other medical related things mentioned T_T last, leon looks so cute in the pic i choose that bc his outfit there is similar to his operation javier fit

part one here !

A week has gone by since you’ve moved in the UK and you had been feeling homesick. Even though you had settled into your dorm, made new friends, and gotten acquainted, nothing beats the company of family. Not only have you been missing family, but also Leon. Feeling distressed, you decided to call your family to see how they’re doing.

You go through your contacts and scroll down to find your Mom’s contact. You spotted her name and pressed dial. The phone lets out a ring that lasted for only a couple seconds as your mom had picked up the call.

“Hey mom… Is dad with you?”

“Hey honey! Yes, he’s over here!” Your mom called for your dad and you hear his voice in the background shouting back to wait for him. You let out a laugh hearing your parents shuffle around. “What’s up hun? How’s everything going there?” Your dad asked.

“Everything’s fine dad, I’m just a little homesick…”

“Aww, hun… We miss you dearly too… You’ve grown up into such a fine, successful, smart, and independent young lady. We couldn’t be any more proud of you. Call us anytime, we promise we’ll always answer the call at the first ring.” Your mom said.

“Hey mom…?”

“Yes?”

You gulped down the lump you felt in your throat, “How’s Leon doing?”

“Oh… I heard he’s out of town.”

“…Is that so?”

“You know who I miss?” Your dad suddenly chimed in.

“Who dad?” You asked curiously while smiling.

“You and Leon. You remind me of you and your mom back in the day.” Your smile dropped hearing those words from your dad. It made you miss him even more and your parents could tell by the silence on your end of the line.

Your mom nudged your dad and scolded him, “Hun! Come on! She’s trying to move on, don’t make it any harder for our baby.”

“I’m fine mom, really. I just wanted to know…”

“Well, alright… If you say so.”

“I’ll be going now, I have a class in a bit.”

“Okay, call us if you need anything!” Your dad reminded again.

“I will, I will. Love you guys…”

“We love you too hun.” They said in union and dropped the call. It was nice hearing their voices again. You opened a box filled with pictures, looking for ones of you guys together when you were suddenly greeted with tons of pictures of you and Leon together on top of the pile. A certain picture caught your eye and you grabbed it to take a closer look. It was a picture of the night you, Leon, and your parents celebrated your graduation from pre-med. Tears fill your eyes and drops of it landed on the picture, slightly damaging the ink. You try desperately to remove your tears stains from the picture but ended up smudging the photo and getting the ink over your parents’ faces. You threw the picture back in the box and curled up at the foot of your bed and sobbed silently.

You didn’t regret your choice of pursuing your dream of becoming a virologist but God, did you really have to go through this just to reach it? You tried controlling your heaving and sniffled as an attempt to quit crying because you had a class in a few minutes. You stood up and walked yourself to the bathroom to wash yourself up. Looking into the mirror, you realized that you’re already here and it’s too late to quit now. You’ve sacrificed so much of your time, effort, and relations for this. Quitting isn’t an option.

Days passed by and you drowned yourself in your studies. You were currently one of the best in your class and according to your professors, you had the most promising potential. Meanwhile, Leon was out of town just as your mom said and was wasting away in God knows where. All he wanted to do was get away from that town and escape the memories it held. He drank his sorrows away but no bottle of alcohol could ever fill the void in his heart. It’s as if you took a piece of his heart and left with it and there was no chance of ever getting it back.

During one late night, he received a call from his co- officer telling him not to go back to Raccoon City even though there was a current crisis, but Leon didn’t listen. He sobered up and immediately headed back to Raccoon City. The following events that unfolded are to be summed up and named “Raccoon City Destruction Incident” from then on.

While studying in a café with your earphones on, you realized that it’s been awhile since you’ve called your parents. You ring them up but they don't picked up.

“Weird, they usually answer at the first ring…” You mumbled to yourself. You try again and to no avail. “Again.” you said but call after call they didn’t pick up. Now you were really worried. Out of frustration, you take your earphones off and take a sip of your coffee when you start picking up on the sounds of the café. But what caught your attention made you drop the coffee cup in your hands.

“The US government declared Raccoon City 'beyond saving' from its residents that have turned aggressive and zombie-like. They ordered a missile strike to wipe out the city and later at dawn, it is reported that two non-nuclear missiles hit the city, clearing all of its 100,000 citizens, and completely wiping it off the map.“

Ringing filled your ears and your hands trembled at the news you had just heard. “This can’t be happening…” you thought. A waiter walked up to you demanding you pay for the broken coffee cup but you couldn’t hear him well. His words sounded like it was being drowned out by water. Your body went on auto-pilot and you grab whatever amount of money you had on you and shoved it into the chest of the waiter. You grabbed your stuff and exit the café while calling for a taxi cab.

You rushed back to your dorm and packed your stuff immediately. Things weren’t properly processed in your mind and before you knew it you were on a flight back to the US. You took a cab to the outskirts of what’s left of Raccoon City before you were blocked by multiple hazard signs, barricades, and police tape. You tried to get passed it but police stopped you before you could even step past the barricade. You stare at the massive crater left by the missiles and what remained of your old home. Streams of tears run down your face and you couldn’t stop it. The police tried calming you down but it was useless. They couldn’t do anything except escort you back to the hotel you checked in.

Once you were at your hotel room, you drop to your knees and wailed. You couldn't fathom the intensity of all the feelings that you were experiencing all at once. Everyone you knew and loved were turned into those… monsters you saw on the news. They were killed, wiped out, with no trace left. Your friends, family, mom, dad, and Leon, all gone. You cried even harder now that things have finally started sinking in. You recall your last call with your parents, them saying how proud they were, and them saying they love you, it was agonizing. And Leon... Oh Leon… you left him alone and heartbroken in Raccoon City. You blamed yourself for their deaths. You imagined your parents worried sick for you because you haven’t called them in awhile as well as Leon who was probably grieving still over the breakup. The image of them worried and scared for their life, was all you could think about. Tears didn’t stop flowing and you’ve lost your voice from screaming. You asked yourself, was this punishment for leaving? Did you deserve to suffer this much?

It's 2002 and four years have passed since. Not a single day went by where you didn’t think of your parents and Leon. You’ve let yourself grieve, gotten therapy, and took a break from med school for awhile. But in the end, you pushed through with it because you knew they would’ve wanted you to push through. You were a step closer to becoming a virologist and its something you’ve worked extra hard on this time. You promised yourself that once you finished everything, you’d dedicate the rest of your life studying the viruses that caused the Raccoon City Destruction Incident and find a vaccine for any virus that could turn people to what the Raccoon citizens became. But for now, you are currently taking up your one year internship.

It was a regular day at the hospital, nothing out of the ordinary. You examined patients, spent your time in the laboratories, and conduct medical procedures along with other doctors. Soon, the mundane day of yours came to an end, or so you thought. As you were about to clock out, a fellow intern called for you.

“Hey [Y/N]! Wait up!” They said as they grabbed onto your shoulder, puffing out heavy breaths.

“Hmm? What’s wrong?” You asked in concern seeing that it was most probably urgent based on the face your colleague made.

“There’s someone out there asking for a CBC.”

“Okay and? You do it. Can’t you see I’m about to leave? I’m about to be overtime.” You replied feeling annoyed from being interrupted as you were about to leave.

“C’mon, do me a favour will ya? I’ll do your stool examinations for a week. Pleaseeeee…” your colleague said while giving you puppy eyes. You cringed at the sight of them and finally gave in to their request.

You rolled your eyes and gave an empty threat. “Fine, I’ll do it. You better stick to your word or else.”

They nodded their head ecstatically and hugged you before they left. “Ugh…” you thought to yourself. If you had just declined, you would’ve been home by now doing anything as long as you weren’t here in the hospital. You grabbed a folder and headed to the counter whilst keeping your head down.

“Hello, good evening, I heard you came in for a CBC?” You greeted.

“Yes, how long do I have to wait for you [Y/N]?” A familiar voice asked. You stopped fiddling with the folder and furrowed your brows. Where have you heard this voice before? Then, it clicked. It couldn’t be…

You looked up at the person opposite to you and met a pair of piercing blue eyes you know you’ve seen before. The tall frame, muscular build, dirty blonde hair. You couldn’t believe it. It was like staring at a ghost. The blood drained from your face as you step back in horror, refusing to believe that the Leon Scott Kennedy was standing right infront of you, alive.

“Woah, hey, are you okay?” Leon asked as he held his hands out.

“Am I okay…? Okay?! I thought you died?!” You screamed which caught the attention of other hospital staff and patients. You look around and apologized and looked back at Leon. “Look, I’ll do your CBC. But you have explaining to do.”

“I know I do, I’m sorry [Y/N]…” Leon apologized and looked down, feeling ashamed from being away from you all these years and suddenly popping out of nowhere.

You scoff and led Leon to a room to extract a sample of his blood. He took off his jacket revealing his more muscular figure. He looked different now. His eyes were as captivating as ever, but it lost its shine. You didn’t want to pry now, but if he escaped the incident back at Raccoon City, he must’ve seen some fucked up shit. You grab the tourniquet and start to tie it around his arm.

“Tell me if it feels too tight.” You instructed Leon and he nodded in response. “Is this alright?” you ask to which he nodded again in response. You start feeling around his arm trying to locate a vein. Your touch sent shivers down Leon’s spine, painting him a shade of pink. You'd almost miss it if his long hair blocked his face. You chuckled at the sight of Leon, “I’m barely doing anything. Did you miss me that much?” you teased.

“You have no idea.” He replied smiling.

Once you’ve located the vein, you did the standard procedure and in a blink of an eye you had a sample of his blood. You took of the tourniquet off his arm and patched him up. He stood up from the seat and put his jacket back on. The silence was deafening, as an attempt to break the ice, you asked, “So… Why do you need the CBC?”

“Just an excuse to see you to be honest.”

You quickly turned to face him, “Are you crazy?” you spat.

“Borderline. It’d be nice to know if I’m healthy or not though.”

“You wasted my time and equipment Leon.” You said while crossing your arms.

“Okay, okay, I’m kidding. I need it to update my health information for the government.”

“Hmm, okay. Do you want the results now or tomorrow?”

“It can wait. Come on, let’s head out now. My treat.”

“Don’t rush me!”

You finish up whatever’s left to do and finally clock out. You and Leon left the hospital and walked up to the parking lot.

“Here, put this on.” He tossed you a helmet and wore his as he started his motorbike. You put on the helmet and sat behind him.

“Hold on tight ‘kay?” You barely held onto Leon, still feeling off. He sped up on the road which made you nervous. Leon felt that you weren’t holding on properly and suddenly stopped, making you jerk forward and wrap your arms around his torso. “I told you to hold on tight didn’t I?” He smirked at you and you rolled your eyes at him. “Won’t say I told you so.” He said his final warning and revved the bike.

The streets were almost empty which gave Leon the opportunity to drive faster. This made you hold onto him tighter and Leon smiled at this under his helmet. “Not a fan of thrill rides huh?” You could barely hear Leon over the sound of the wind going past you. “I swear to God Leon, if you speed u—“ Before you could even finish, he drove even faster. You had a strong grip on Leon at this point and you could hear his muffled laughing.

Sooner or later, you arrived at a hotel where Leon was staying for the meantime. He parked his motorbike and the two of you got off. You punched Leon hard on the arm you took the blood sample from.

“Ow! What the fuck?” he said laughing.

“I hate you.” You said to him with a straight face.

“Aw, cute. You know you could never hate me. Even from the grave.”

“Haha, very funny Leon.” You said sarcastically.

The both of you walked into the hotel and entered the restaurant inside it. You both sat down and ordered food. And while waiting, Leon finally tells you about what happened four years ago.

“I want the truth Leon.” You demanded.

“Okay, please, keep an open mind alright?” You nodded in response and Leon recounts the events of the Raccoon City incident. You listened to him intently. It was hard to imagine him go through all of that. You were feeling thankful though that he is still safe and sound now.

“My parents, Leon? Do you know what happened to them?” you asked desperately wanting an answer. He shook his head and said “I’m sorry, but I don’t know. I really am sorry I didn’t save them…” You muttered a small “Oh…” and reassured Leon that it was okay. “I just wish I called them a bit more often… I think they were worried about me even up until their death…” You say quietly.

“[Y/N]… You are their only daughter, of course they cared. I’m sure they’re glad to know that your strong, healthy, and most importantly, you're safe now.” Leon said while holding your hand. You felt a tear run down your face and Leon used his other hand to wipe it off. He kept his hand on your cheek and gently caressed it. “I’m so sorry for the way things ended Leon… I didn’t want to… But—“ you were cut off by Leon.

“It’s okay… I forgive you [Y/N].”

“But I don’t forgive myself! There wasn’t a single day where I didn’t long for your presence by my side. I wanted you near me again.”

“I felt the same way too....”

No other words were said. You looked into each other’s eyes and reignited a spark that you thought died a long time ago. The moment was short but it felt longer than that. Too bad it was actually cut short by the waiter that brought you your food. You grinned from ear to ear and Leon let out a laugh. The both of you enjoyed the fine dining and soon you escorted him to his room.

“I’ll… be off now…” you said awkwardly to Leon while he stood leaning on the door frame.

“Do you really have to leave? It’s late at night. Stay with me for the night. It’s not safe out there.”

“Leon…”

“For old times sake…” Leon pleaded. He moved closer to you, grabbing your waist and leaning into your ear. “…Please?” he whispered.

You look at Leon, heat running through your body. He was a burning candle, and you were a moth that just couldn’t resist. Your lips crashed onto his and he slammed the door shut behind you. The both of you make it to the bed and swiftly take off each other clothes and threw it to the bedroom floor. Leon sat upright, back on the bedframe, while you were on top of him. You grinded on him slowly making him groan.

“Fuck, you don’t know how much I’ve missed this.” Leon breathed.

“Tell me Leon… How much did you miss me?” You said as you run your hands through his hair, tugging at it. You teased him, running your wet cunt along his hard dick. Leon breathed even heavier, you could feel his dick twitch as it longed to be in you.

"I'd think of you, when I touch myself... I missed you touching me, making you screaming my name, being inside you. I missed it all. Please, let me fuck you..." Leon begged. You held yourself up and positioned his dick under you.

You and Leon both moaned when he entered you. It took some time for you to adjust to Leon again. "So tight... You haven't been fucking anyone else have you?" He asked. You shook your head and he started thrusting into you, catching you off guard. You moaned and whimpered from Leon suddenly fucking you.

"Come on baby, use your words." he demanded.

You tried to speak but your words were slurred. "O-only... you... Leon. I've only f-fucked you..."

"Mhm, that's right. You're mine, got that? And I'll make sure people know that." Leon sucked onto your neck leaving hickeys on it, marking what's his.

He quickened his pace leaving you a moaning mess. Sounds of skin slapping against each other echoing in the room. You moaned his name over and over again like a prayer. As you feel your climax coming, your walls tightening around Leon's dick. He moaned your name into your ear. "You feel so fucking good baby."

"Leon, I'm close..." You managed to get the words out of your mouth. "Cum for me baby." Leon said as his thrusts get sloppier and rougher. A scream escaped your lips as you came. Leon finished inside you making sure every bit of cum filled you to the brim.

Leon looked at you and cupped your cheek. "Why don't we make up for lost time?"

The sunlight peaked through the gaps of the curtains and you find yourself in bed beside Leon as he sleeps peacefully. You admire Leon's beauty for a little while and brushed his hair to the side. His eyes flutter open and he greeted you in a raspy voice.

"Good morning love, did you sleep well?"

"Like a baby." You replied.

"Mhm, that's good. Come closer."

You move closer to Leon and lay on his chest. "There's something I didn't tell you last night." he said and you could hear his heart beat faster.

"Tell me..."

"I was recruited by the USSTRATCOM shortly after the incident at Raccoon City, and I'm a government agent now. These past 4 years, I've been training intensely. And in a few days, I'll be leaving for North America to my next mission."

You lay in silence, taking in the words Leon had just said.

"Say something please, [Y/N]..." Leon pleaded.

"Do you... want us to get back together, Leon? I want you to be realistic. If you're an agent, who goes on missions that you could possibly never return from, would you really want to be tied down to me?" You asked.

"I do want us back. God knows how much I want us back together. And I don't care about all that mission shit. I will return from every mission just for you."

"Are you sure Leon? Because this time, I'm willing to stay. I've lost you once, and I'm not making the same mistake again."

"I'm always sure when it comes to you. We'll make it work this time, I promise. I love you [Y/N]..."

"I love you too Leon." Those words coming out your mouth after years of longing for him gave you a feeling of euphoria and nostalgia all at once. Who knew that this time around, we'd fall right back into each other's arms.

#leon #leon kennedy #leon scott kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon x reader #leon x you #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon scott kennedy x reader #leon scott kennedy x you #resident evil #resident evil x reader #resident evil x you #leon kennedy smut #leon s kennedy smut #leon scottt kennedy smut #leon kennedy angst #resident evil angst

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dellalyra · 1 year

Note

i get to shy to ask bUTT idk if this is weird but maybe for family formation series reader is in danger OR the fam welcoming baby gojo and reader into the family ?? idk either would be a fun idea

A/N: PLEASE don't be shy to ask getting requests makes me so unbelievably happy you've no idea and I know you said or but... I'm gonna do both of these requests bc I love them both sm :):) i hope u enjoy this one and I’ll post the other one later in the week!!! Thank u sm for these <3 I like doing this series bc it feels like a nice escape from the trauma the manga provides :):)

Summary: The newest addition to the patchwork family arrives, and is welcomed with open arms.

CW: childbirth, pregnancy, fluff, just adorable found family stuff, mild swearing, mentions of Tsumiki being cursed, lots and lots of love.

Recommended Listening:

Can’t Take My Eyes off You - Frankie Valli (Everyone meets Akio/general vibe)

I Hear A Symphony - Cody Fry (Megumi meets Akio, from Satoru’s POV)

A Kiss to Build A Dream On - Louis Armstrong (the ending)

Masterlist

Family Formation Part Seven

13 hours of labour later, a 56cm, 8lb 5oz, white-haired, sparkling blue-eyed bundle of love was laid in your arms. Exhausted, sore, and sweaty but so full of endorphins it all seems trivial. Satoru had been by your side for the full 13 hours, refusing to eat because you couldn’t, laying behind you supporting your back and giving endless encouragement and finally catching your long-awaited baby boy. You had made a list of names throughout your pregnancy and the second you both laid eyes on your son, there was no other name needing consideration, Akio was perfect.

Satoru had cried (a lot) when his baby boy was put into his arms for the first time as Shoko stitched him up and cleaned him. You had point-blank refused to have anyone except Shoko deliver your baby, which was a smart choice given that this child was the amalgamation of the strongest sorcerer and a sorceress wielding one of the most powerful innate cursed techniques- plus, she was your best friend.

After his first bath and being wrapped in the blanket your great-grandmother had made, Akio was settled into your arms as Satoru went to announce the arrival of his darling boy to the people in the waiting room.

He came in and asked if you were ready for visitors and as tired as you were, you couldn’t wait another moment for Akio to meet his family. Your mom was out of the country and rushing home as you were in labour, dropping all sorcery diplomacy and running to her daughters’ side.

‘Let them in one at a time ‘toru.’ You say as he opens the door and calls in the person who you wanted him to meet first.

A spiky head of raven hair appears in the doorway. You smile and tilt the bundle in your arms to face him. “Gumi, I’d like you to meet your baby brother, Akio Ryu Tadashi Gojo.”

Somehow despite the 9 months’ notice, Megumi seems completely shocked.

“Holy shit, he’s real.” He looks between you and Gojo, who laughs a little at the reaction.

“Yeah kiddo, he’s very real. The bruises on my hand from your mom’s squeezing are the painful proof!” He says, waving his slightly blue wrist.

“Shut up, mom did all the real work. Are you okay? Is he okay? Do you need anything?”

“We’re both fine sweet boy, I’m sore but I did just push out a human so I’m sore. Come closer, honey. He wants to see you.”

Megumi grimaces at the thought of your pain, and also with the awkward teenage boy reaction to childbirth. He slowly moves closer, as if him moving to fast will cause the baby to shatter like glass.

“He looks like you, mom.” He says.

“You think? He’s got your dad’s colourings.”

“Nah, he’s too pretty to look anything like dad.”

You let out a huff of laughter as your husband acts out a wound in his chest on your other side.

“Do you want to hold him?”

“Uh… okay.”

The nerves have spiked in him so you scoot over to make room for him to sit on the bed beside you.

“Okay so put your arms like this, and make sure you hold his pretty little head.” Satoru says as he lifts Akio from you and places him into Megumi’s stiff arms. You smile at how cautious your husband is, you’ve been raised surrounded by children and babies so this all feels like second nature to you.

“Hey ‘lil man. I’m Megumi. I’m your brother I guess. I’m gonna show you some really cool stuff when you grow up, and make sure your dad doesn’t turn you into a clone of himself.” Megumi says to the blinking eyes of the baby he holds. You can tell he doesn’t know what to say, so you wrap you arm around your two sons.

“Megumi is gonna be the best big brother, he can show you his shikigami and show you all the cool music and read you the best books. He’s gonna keep you real safe too.” You say.

There’s silence for a minute as Megumi just looks at the baby.

“Tsumiki would have been so excited about you. She was – is, my big sister. So I guess yours too. I hope she meets you someday.” The slight hitch in his voice shows that holding his baby brother is making him realise how Tsumiki must have felt.

“You will meet her, Akio, and she’s gonna love you so much. Just how she loves Megumi.” You kiss the side of his head, and Gojo squeezes his arm around the boys broad shoulders, for once Megumi leans into him and doesn’t push him away.

“Eh, Nobara told me that you give gifts to the baby when they’re born. So I made something. It’s in my bag on the ground if you wanna grab it.”

Satoru leans down and opens it and freezes. He turns to you and pulls out a book. He sits on your other side and lays the book on your lap for you both to see.

In Megumi’s beautiful tidy cursive, on the cover, is written ‘Your Family’ and ask you open it you see photos he must have taken of you, Satoru, himself, Tsumiki, your parents, Yuuji and Nobara, Shoko and Nanami, Yaga and in one photo, in the corner you notice Geto, smiling with his arm around Gojoy, you had both discussed that you would raise your kid to know about his Uncle Geto as the man he was in high school, before the world became too much for him. Yaga makes an appearance too, along with Utahime and the second years. There’s wedding photos from you and Satoru’s big day, ones you remember Shoko taking in high school, photo’s you’ve never seen before from your pregnancy, ones of you and Satoru on missions. You realise that there’s an ‘introduction’ to each family member on each page and you begin to sob reading them.

“Oh shit, I didn’t know you’d cry.” Megumi says, panicking he’d upset you.

“Oh no sweetheart, it’s happy tears. I love it so much, it’s so beautiful. I can’t believe you did this, he can keep it forever now. Thank you, darling boy.” There’s tears in Gojo’s eyes too, behind his small sunglasses as he sweeps you 3 into a hug in his long arms.

“Um, it’s okay, I’m glad you like it. Figured he’d need a roadmap to navigate this mess.” He smirks. “Are you gonna let the others in?”

“Should we FaceTime Yuuta?” Satoru asks.

“No it will be 3am for him, we’ll ring him later. Akio’s not going anywhere.” You say, making sure your newest stray child gets his sleep is important.

“Satoru, godfather next.” You say and Satoru opens the door and waves his hand.

In walks Nanami, suit jacket draped over his arm and glasses tucked into his pocket.

“Akio! This is your Uncle Nanamin!” Satoru joyful waves between the two of them, and the tick in Kento’s jaw makes you laugh, he walks over to you on the bed, Akio now back in your arms and Megumi on the armchair beside you, Satoru standing just staring at his son.

“Congratulations, Y/N, Satoru. You did wonderfully. Was he a healthy size?” Nanami asks, practical as ever.

“8lbs 5oz and 56cm, he got his father’s height.” You say, looking at your towering man.

“And his hair and eyes, but he definitely looks like you, Y/N. He’s too cute to look like Gojo.” He says.

“Is everyone going to say that? I – am offended.” Satoru says pointing at Nanami. You laugh and you hear Megumi snort.

“Kento, we were hoping to ask you a question now you’re here.” You say, looking to Satoru, wanting him to ask.

“We were hoping that you wouldn’t just be Uncle Nanamin, but maybe you would be godfather Nanamin?” He says making a theatrical gesture towards the baby.

For once, the smile on Nanami’s face isn’t hidden.

“I would be honoured, Akio. But please, call me Uncle Kento. I presume Shoko is the godmother.”

“Godmother and doctor who delivered him.” You nod.

Nanami lifts a box from behind him.

“A gift for my godson.” He hands it to Satoru who wastes no time in opening the gift and goes “Wow! That’s so cool!” before he shows it to you, it’s a beautiful wooden box with ‘keepsakes’ engraved on the front.

“Oh Nanami, it’s wonderful, thank you so much! I love it.”

“Of course, shall I let the next guests in?”

He turns and calls in Yuuji and Nobara, who push past each other to get through the door first and you can hear the bickering.

The both gasp when they enter the room.

“Sensei! Y/N! That’s a baby!” Yuuji exclaims and Nobara’s mouth hangs open.

“Great observation Itadori.” Megumi smirks.

“No it’s just like – wow, you made a whole person! Well like a small one but still a person! It’s crazy!” He almost jumps toward you and stares through big brown eyes as Nobara skips toward you.

“Oh my god Sensei he’s so cute!!! His tiny hands!! And feet!! And nose!! What’s his name?? You’re so amazing Y/N!” She says. These two are definitely a different speed from the other two visitors in the room.

“His name is Akio.” You smile.

“Are you okay Y/N? Did it hurt really bad? Is there a way we can help?”

“I’m okay, Yuuji, and the pain was worth it.”

A mouth appears on Yuuji’s face.

“Hmph, the Gojo spawn has arrived I see. You’re stronger than I expected, woman.”

A chorus of ‘shut up Sukuna’ echoes across the room. But you look directly at his cheek and say,

“Thank you, Ryomen.” He sneered and retreated.

“I got you these Y/N!” Yuuji’s smile takes over his whole face as he hands you a huge bouquet of peony roses.

“I remember Gojo was talking about how they’re your favourites but the flower lady laughed when I asked for penises, and Nobara really died laughing so she told me they’re called Peonies.” You and Satoru burst into hysterical laughter at the thought of Itadori asking a florist for penises.

“They are my favourite, thank you honey, they’re so beautiful. Nanami, would you mind putting them in some water for me?” You say and he takes the flowers from Yuuji and you give him a kiss on the cheek.

Nobara whisks out a huge gift bag and says,

“I went shopping and bought some cute baby clothes! Look at these dungarees, they have tiny lions on them!” She shoves the bag at Satoru who nearly tumbles at its size, proving she went way overboard.

“You two are both so sweet, thank you guys. You’re both gonna make great babysitters.”

They both squeal and move to sit on the arms of the chair beside Megumi.

The next people to come in were the second years, Inumaki saying ‘Tsuna!’ As soon as he saw the baby and giving you a thumbs up and pat on the head. Panda began crying because the baby was so cute and small, and Maki immediately asked how you were, telling you she is amazed by your strength and how great you are for delivering a whole child. Toge and Panda had pitched together to buy Akio a stuffed panda and a jellycat riceball. And Maki, in very Maki fashion, brought diapers and wipes. Shoko came to the door next, returning from a rest after delivering your son.

“Mei Mei’s crows just dropped these off, they’re from Utahime and her.” You smiled taking the bags from her. Utahime was on a mission at the moment and couldn’t make it down to see you, but had sent you a beautiful card congratulations you and saying she was happy Satoru could do something right, and a beautiful box of postpartum beauty supplies, stretch mark cream and cooling eye patches included. Mei Mei also sent a card, with a set of the most expensive looking matching satin pyjamas for you and Akio.

Yaga also dropped by, clapping Satoru on the shoulder and whispering, “Well done, my boy.” To him, you knew this meant a lot to Satoru.

Your family had already given you your gift for your son, a cutting from a tree from your family home that your great great great great grandmother planted when her first child was born, using your families innate inherited technique. The tree bloomed soft blue flowers year round, no matter the weather and always seemed to faintly glow at night.

The Gojo clan, they had sent the Gojo heirloom silver rattle which Satoru had once owned as a child. Your mother was due to arrive the following day, and you knew she would be spoiling her 3rd grandchild rotten and you too when she arrived. She loved Satoru, and he loved her, so she was going to stay with you both for a week to help you both ease into the life of new parents, and Satoru couldn’t have squeezed and hugged her tighter when she offered.

After another half an hour, Satoru notices you yawning, with Akio asleep in his arms.

“Okay momma is tired everyone it is time to leave now! You can all come back and fawn over how cute my mini me is some other time.”

After everyone wishes you goodbye and a final kiss on the head for Megumi, who you send back to his dorm with a quiet thank you again for the book, you, Satoru and Akio are left in the peaceful room surrounded by keepsakes and your peonies now on the table beside the bed.

You scoot over to let Satoru into the bed beside you, and he places Akio in the crib beside you both. He squirms under the blanket, careful to be very gentle with you, knowing you’re still tender and aching. He wraps an arm gingerly across your stomach and presses soft kisses into your hairline, you tilt your head up and kiss his soft perfect lips.

“He’s really here, our little boy.”

“Thank you, Y/N. You’re so incredible, I’m in awe of you, I never thought I could love anything as much as I love you and the kids.. Thank you for giving me a family.” He says, pointing to the handmade book beside you both.

“Thank you for making it possible, you deserve the world, ‘Toru.”

And with that, you both curl up, drifting off in each others arms listening to the soft breaths of the baby beside you.

TAGLIST: @vesta-ro @lilithlunas @mialexandruh @sassy-cat-in-town @madam-ri @cjm-cookiethief

Comment to be added!

Requests open! <3

#gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #jjk x reader #gojo satoru #gojo fluff #jjk #dad!gojo #megumi fushiguro #yuuji x reader #pixie writes: family formations

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blacklegsanjiii · 1 month

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In the D!Sora au, would be funny and interesting if like, it's mentioned Sanji starts to fully work at Baratie at 14, but what if he started to work some time at Baratie when he's 11, almost 12?

So like, at first Sanji finds this kinda... Weird? Bc he never had really been away from his siblings and mother at own choice. So, Zeff, seeing this, chose to call his lover (Garp) and propose to him that he bring his grandsons so little eggplant have friends while in the restaurant. Garp knows about the story, about the fact that Skylar D. Sora saved his lover, and the boy is her son, but since it's thanks to her Zeff is alive now and he already said her family is welcomed in Baratie, he chose to just... pretend she's not around, when she is in the East Blue.

So well, Garp bring ASL and they love Sanji, love love if you understand me. And for Sanji, having friends that aren't his siblings is... Good? Okay. And they just go like this. With ASL absolutely head over hells for him and fighting for his atention. Reiju finds this funny and amusing everytime she read her little bro letters, Sora is in between amused and protective, 124ji are... protective, of course.

Sanji telled he has siblings, of course he would! He loves them! And this fact comes at all to his boyfriends and Zeff's lover one day, when Makino comes too bc Luffy want her to meet Sanji and she says about the "San" in his name meaning "three", wich he says "Yeah, well, I'm the third of quadruplets, makes sense my name means three. Even if I am, at all, forth of five between my siblings".

Until one time, by mere coincidence, Garp and ASL arrive the exact day Sora is there, with 0124ji. Sora already knows about Garp and Zeff relationship, and the fact the marine will not attack her bc of the fact she saved Zeff, but she still has her guard up.

This day, ASL meet his boyfriend siblings, and during this, Sora and Garp talk. Because he wants to know why the fuck a noble woman left her status and turned into a pirate. And she feels like telling him isn't bad, so she tells to Garp (and Zeff, who goes to talk with them) about her shitty husband, and how much of a monster he was, what she did to save her kids. Both mens definitely agree it was the best choice (even Garp, bc he knows that the fact Judge was a noble would made him don't suffer anything).

And ASL, meeting Sanji's mom, who is a pirate captain?! They would ask so much questions. Sora would reply their questions, amused about them, she also would give them a shovel talk bc they may be good, but they're her son boyfriends.

When Marineford happens, with Ace, Luffy and Sabo alone with her, Sabo asks Sora about Sanji's father and why she seems to hate him, alongside the fact she killed him. And she tells the same story she telled her kids, about how Judge was.

ASL definitely start to respect her even more after this, bc what she did was an act of pure love for her childs and seeking for freedom, for her and her kids.

I love the idea but the reason I put Sanji at 14/15 was because after everything that happened I don't think Sora or his siblings would let him out of their sight. Not even mentioning the crew. Let's say they do let him, I gotta imagine there's more than just letters: phonecalls, frequent visits-including surprise visits and the Shirohige showing up occasionally. It's a whole process. Zeff isn't exactly thrilled about that but sure, whatever.

But after spending some more time with the eggplant and his family he begins to understand that Sanji being on the cruise liner, obviously, was not something planned, but the horror on his mother's face when she saw the state he was in, and the disbelief, will be forever implanted in his brain. It's not something he ever wants to happen again. Zeff is of course pleased he knows code but the kid needs more interaction with other kids that aren't his family. So he calls his boyfriend. Garp.

Who brings his grandkids. It's a whole thing but it's going to be good for the eggplant. Except his instincts are on point and pulls a gun off a waiter and immediately points it at Garp before even getting to the table. Zeff told him Garp was coming with his grandsons but didn't mention it was Vice Admiral Monkey D. Garp and Sanji has been raised a pirate, Marines are the enemy. ASL are asking what's going on as Garp laughs and tells the boy it's alright, he won't bite, after all he owes Sanji's mother his thanks. Sanji narrows his eyes as he gives the gun back to the waiter and goes to the table.

So they sit at the table and before introductions can be made Luffy is asking him why he was pointing a gun at his grandpa and Sanji is like 'IM A PIRATE' which sets them all off to start asking questions. Sanji is answering questions to his abilities. He doesn't give his last name or anything but Luffy asks him about why he can be a pirate but they can't? Shanks said kids can't be pirates! Sanji is frowning at them because he was literally born into piracy and says so. Over time ASL become closer with Sanji and Garp agrees to bring Makino because Luffy wants her to meet Sanji and when she asks about his name he explains it to her with a shrug. They've also managed to avoid Sora and her crew so far on their visits. Of course it's only a matter of time, it's been like a year and ASL have all gone head over heels for the guy and well.

All good things must come to an end as the telltale yelling of another pack of Ds sound on the docks of Baratie. Sanji is smiling widely and running to meet the steps. Zeff is groaning as he yells at the kitchen to fire more food. ASL follow but stop short as their (boy)friend is tackled and under a group of kids who all look like him and a woman smiling above them and kicking tapping them with her foot and telling them to move.

"YOURE CAPTAIN SKYLAR D. SORA!" Ace yells pointing at her.

"Aye, and what might your name be?" She smiles at him.

"Ace." Ace stares at her wide eyed and looking back at Garp who is groaning.

"Sanji, are these the boys that li~ke you?" The girl teases making ASL blush. The three other boys look at them with narrowed eyes and Sora tells them to move again and taps them so they move. Mostly by rolling and dragging Sanji with much to his displeasure. Sora has to see Garp and narrow her eyes who narrows his back.

She sits at the table and she props her feet up and grins at Zeff that his lover boy is a vice admiral and has been for longer than she's been alive and Garp asks her how a queen can become a pirate and Sora laughs. It's short and sharp and she asks Garp if he's ever had to drink poison to ensure his kid would be human. Because she had to do it for both her pregnancies. So she left with Reiju and started a pirate crew, fuck the nobles, the government, no one was willing to come save her so she took matters into her own hands. Then he kidnapped Sanji and when she couldn't find him in Germa she sank the whole Kingdom because her child wasn't there. The Cloud Pirates are her family and their ship her home. Eventually all the kids come join. So they move to lighter fare about piracy and answering the questions of ASL.

Then after Marineford, when the brothers are together Sabo asks why she sank Germa and left. Sora tells them matter of factly, just as she did her children and crew. About the poison, about the experiments, taking Sanji and losing him. The fact Sanji was tortured as a child thanks to Judge. Simply put his dues needed to be collected and she was sending him to collections. Sora tells them everything plainly, whatever Sanji hasn't shared remains stays secret.

ASL respected the hell out of her before but now? Now they are forever in her debt.

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ice-sculptures · 10 months

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Okay well I’ve already forced u to look at most of my pets so I’m kinda just gonna copy u…what r ur favorite buck and/or eddie quotes?? I can NEVER think of any when I’m making graphics and u remember the show so much better than I do LOLL

OHHHHH MY GOD THERE'S SO MANY

some off the top of my head:

"two cut lines" - like. okay. i still maintain that the rest of the firefam doesn't actually know how close buck & eddie are and definitely do not fully realize the extent of buck's role in the diazes' life, but one thing that the rest of them Do know is that buck would rather die than leave eddie behind and i love tht these three simple words encapsulate the strength of that undying devotion

"and that started with you. whatever happens to him next, you gave him that second chance. maybe that's the point." i will never ever ever ever ever ever be over this scene and how buck found the exact words to bring eddie back from the brink and show him that what he does matters, that there's still hope, that there are things worth living for and that he made a difference in someone's life. and i think that this right here is more than romance more than love this is just. soulmatism right here. i mean....to be seen to be found isn't that what we're all searching for?

AND ON THAT NOTE. BUCK. THERE'S NOBODY IN THIS WORLD THAT I TRUST WITH MY SON MORE THAN YOU. makes me fucking INSANE because what do you mean eddie forgave him instantly?? in any other show with any other pairing this would be a season long arc with the two of them tentatively reconciling at the very end of it all. anybody else would be (understandably, i might add) nervous to leave christopher with buck after what happened, but eddie forgave buck immediately. eddie, who adores chris with all of his heart and soul, who loves that boy more than anything else in this world, saw not that buck wasn't able to hold onto chris, but that he loved him enough to try. he didn't hold it against him for chris getting swept away, he only focused on the buck that spent all day bloody and bruised, searching for his heart. but more than anything, i think he saw all of that love and heartbreak and guilt and the self doubt that matches his own reflected in buck and decided to give his best, truest friend the chance that was never given to him 🥺😭

"comes in handy when you have a bunch of holes in the wall" i can't explain why i love this bit of casual reassurance so much but i just. i think it's so simple and so sweet and a testament to how they make each other feel so loved so easily :(

i don't remember the exact quote right now but do you remember that scene where eddie and hen are gossiping about hen's mom and eddie says that his abuela would love the tea bc she loves telenovelas and buck beams at him w the fondest grin ever and teases eddie about loving telenovelas too? i know they're soulmates and in love and all of that shit but they're also Best Friends and i love all these little reminders of how well they know each other and how much they genuinely like each other. also this being in the same episode as buck's look of complete confusion when his long term gf tells him she loves him was a Choice™️

"just gonna be you and me" from the LS crossover episode for no reason other than it was cute & i love buck's subsequent jealousy

"guess all that company must've wore you out" bc of the obvious Implications that maddie tried to rope eddie into her plan of sending buck visitors to cheer him up and eddie straight up said no because he knew that wasn't going to help. yet another one of the million examples of these two knowing exactly what the other person needs & also Being exactly what the other person needs

"three minutes and seventeen seconds" because what do you MEAN he knows the exact amount of time buck was dead for. what do you mean he counted the seconds that he lived in this world without his best friend, praying and begging that he could outrun the clock and he wouldn't reach the time that would make it permanent. what do you mean he memorized the amount of time and then he threw out that line so casually because he couldn't stand the way they were talking about buck's death as something fascinating instead of as the worst three minutes and seventeen seconds of eddie's life...

the one-two punch that is "you don't need to pretend with me" and "you don't have to be anything for anybody" because both of them have spent so much of their lives not feeling good enough and not truly living for themselves...and yet around each other they've never had to do that and are free to be nothing but themselves and still be loved not despite it, but for it.

and finally last but not least....the very thesis of their relationship: "you can have my back any day" / "yeah. or, you know, you could… you could have mine" because it's stayed true ever since the first day they met and will remain true for the rest of their lives. also i'll never stop thinking about how 911 straight up said "isn't that what we all want in a partner? knowing that they have your back?" in the season five finale and have shown time and again that buck and eddie have tried to accomplish this in their previous relationships but have only ever been able to have a full and true partnership with each other...yeah that shit will Haunt me forever

this is probably incomprehensible but my mind is running at a million miles an hour right now so i am not going to go back and edit it

#thank u sosososo much for this ask but also. i love seeing pics of your cats please feel free to send 10000000000 more of them #buddie #answered #cam tag

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gravyhoney · 9 months

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Cw// gun/weapon

Let me into your brain about the silly legos (hc’s) - ✧

IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED ABOUT MY HCS‼️‼️

Idk which Legos you were referring to so I will make a HC post for Ninjago characters since it’s what I’m currently hyperfixating on.

Buckle in for an extremely long post because I am insane. Cutting it to keep it organized for u guys 🫶

So one thing about me is that I love incorporating other people’s headcanons into my own. And sometimes that leads to some contradicting headcanons, so in my little brain I have like, multiple different sets of headcanons for a bunch of different characters while also having My Headcanons, those being the ones I believe in the most/came up with without outside influence. I will be listing My Headcanons, but I type that entire preface to explain why some of my posts might be contradictory of the headcanons I list here 🫶

It’s gonna go like this in no particular order. (The order of how excited I am to share my hcs for them)

Character name- gender/pronouns, sexuality

List of headcanons

——————————————————

General-

Their eye color aligns with their element, they all have their natural eye colors, but after realizing/unlocking their elemental powers, they began to change.

Adding onto the above hc, Kai and Nya's eyes are still pretty dull due to them being like, the last two to realize their powers, while Jay's are extremely bright and vibrant.

Jay- she/they (occasionally he) transfem + gender-fluid, bisexual

Hard of hearing, wears hearing aids. I think the hearing loss has always been there, but I think her elemental power just worsened it, bc you know. Thunder loud.

That being said, I think she was the first to get her elemental powers. I think they got them when she was like, a really really young kid.

Has heterochromia.

Came out as trans like, mid-prime empire.

Has psychosis and suffers from delusions.

Not rlly a Jay hc, but related. Their mom gave them up because she was desperately hoping they wouldn't have an elemental power, but if she did, they'd be near unfindable because she lived through hell and didn't want Jay to have to go through the same.

AuDHD

Nya- she/they transfem nonbinary, bisexual demiromantic

Has a tremor after un-merging with the ocean.

Her and Kai both have pretty bad anger issues.

SHE CAN BREATHE UNDERWAAAATTTEEERRRRR I believe she can ok?

For a long time after Hands Of Time she hates the way she looks because of how much she looks like her mom.

Still holds a heavy resentment against their parents, because even though it wasn't their choice to leave, them and Kai still had to grow up alone.

Fucking hates the taste of cinnamon.

Has time blindness, but only after un-merging with the ocean. She became disoriented and confused about the passage of time after being the ocean for so long.

Sometimes they still feel pulled back to the water.

Best friends with Cole (I believe this one wholeheartedly)

ADHD

Lloyd- he/they nonbinary, aroace

Has insomnia, and a sleepwalking problem when he can get to sleep.

Looked fairly human when he was young, but as he got older, his Oni and Dragon features started showing more.

The feelings he felt for Harumi was mostly confusion because she was the first girl he got close to that didn't have what felt like an 'older sister' role in his life.

Really likes bugs.

Has auditory processing disorder.

Their body doesn't regulate temperature regularly.

Religiously watches iceberg videos.

Likes wearing more loose fitting, baggy clothing.

High-empathy autistic.

Kai- he/him transman, bisexual

He and Nya both have pretty bad anger issues.

He likes occasionally dressing femininely, but usually decides against it because he’s afraid people won’t take him seriously.

HIS ASS IS NOT THE DESIGNATED DRIVER

Has burn scars that go pretty far up his arms due to his own elemental power.

Extremely high body heat, has to wear gloves to avoid burning people at the touch.

Has a pretty bad memory due to constant concussions (his ass got beat to shit CONSTANTLY)

Was stealth trans for a while, because he wanted people to take him seriously, but stopped caring after a while and is extremely open about his identity.

Has a deep paranoia that he’s going to hurt the people he cares about, and is constantly over correcting at ever little mistake.

ADHD

Cole- he/they, gay ace grey-aro

After the events of DOTD he has to use a mobility aid for a while while he gets accustomed to having a body again.

Body-image issues.

He feels like he’s supposed to be in charge of keeping everyone safe.

Best friends with Nya and Vania (I believe in this one SO hard.)

He loves cooking, and is very defensive about it. NOBODY is allowed in the kitchen while he's cooking (except Nya she's his taste tester).

Has constant night terrors and has a very detailed sleep routine to avoid them.

Super good with kids.

Girls girl (gender neutral).

OCD + ADHD.

Zane- they/them agender, panromantic ace

Will sometimes pick up little crafts or projects, jack of all trades type vibe.

Is actually SUPER up to date with every single internet trend or meme.

Can't taste (bc they're a nindroid...) but fr thought for years that all food just had no taste until the robot reveal and they're like 'ohh'

Has constantly wildly shifting morals.

Genuinely the scariest of the group, sometimes freaking out everyone else. This makes them sad. They present themselves in such a way to make them approachable.

Has a tendency to blame themself when everything goes wrong.

Refuses to talk about their feelings to anyone else, bottling it up.

Autistic.

Pixal- any pronouns agender, unlabeled ace

Runs every single online forum about the ninja, none of them know.

Always has to feel useful, or she gets stressed out easily.

Listens to podcasts when he works.

Wildly defensive.

Felt a little unworthy of the Samurai X title when nobody knew it was them.

Low-empathy autistic.

Skylor- she/they, lesbian

True neutral (generally looks out for herself, doesn't really do things for the greater good, but for her own sake)

Doesn't remember her mom at all, she passed away when she was extremely young.

After the events of S4 she completely uprooted her life, changed literally everything about herself to disconnect herself from her father. Renamed the noodle shop, and completely rewrote the menu.

Makes most of her own clothes.

Picked up painting, is insanely good at it.

Slightly self destructive, constantly trying to distance themself from the ninja, but Kai always drags her back.

Realized her elemental power at a very young age, mostly because of her father.

BPD + CPTSD.

Vania- she/fae/it/he transwoman, lesbian aromantic

Very talkative.

Writes to Cole a lot (she has both a phone and his phone number it just likes writing to him).

Plays a lot of instruments, faer favorites being the harp and the violin.

Extremely anxious that she's not going to be a good queen, constantly overcorrecting.

Really indecisive and always changing his mind.

AuDHD

Harumi- she/he bigender, pansexual

Probably bites people.

Because of how sheltered she was with the royal family, she doesn't know a lot of basic life skills, and had to teach herself near everything she knows.

He did learn how to sew, and mends his own clothes.

Has albinism.

Always blaming her problems on other people, that being a product of the extreme pressure he was under when princess.

ADHD + CPTSD.

Sora- she/they/various neos transfem, lesbian

Always has to be busy, or she will start spiraling.

Wildly protective of Arin.

Was constantly getting into fights in the early days of living in the crossroads, very quickly learned they'd have to constantly fight to survive.

Talks about xer childhood like 'haha yeah it be how it be :)' and everyone listening is completely horrified.

Views everyone she meets as a threat until they prove they aren't.

Really likes reading, her favorite genre being sci-fi.

Does some creative writing, but has never shown anyone her writing.

Love language is quality time.

Since realizing their elemental power, she's had a tremor in her hands. She hates it.

Low-empathy autistic + OCD.

Arin- he/they transmasc, unlabeled aroace

Needs people to be in the kitchen when he bakes, he's very social.

Wildly protective of Sora

Has night terrors, has never talked about it.

Actually really good at fighting dirty if needed. Bro kicks ASS.

Picks at his fingernails.

Has read Sora's writing, (she doesn't know) he finds some comfort in it.

Love language is physical touch.

Is always completely down to prank people, a devious little guy.

Nearsighted, but doesn't ever mention it because he doesn't know.

Craves validation from anywhere he can get it.

Low-empathy autistic + ADHD

Wyldfyre- he/she/they nonbinary, queer greyaro

Anger issues for days.

Really physically strong.

Love language is physical touch.

Has burn scars on their hands and thinks they make them look badass.

Talks loudly because he has hearing loss.

Doesn't know how to interact with people, seeing as she was raised by a dragon.

Low pain tolerance, but knows how to hide it.

It never came up until she started living with people, but he's deathly afraid of seeming weak or incapable.

ADHD

Euphrasia- she/her transwoman, unlabeled ace

Introverted as hell.

Can hold her own in a fight for a surprisingly long time (I know this is not canon compliant, let me be delusional)

Had really long hair, but had a manic episode and cut it all off.

Likes drawing.

Despite her job, she's not too keen on reading.

Autistic

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ahundredtimesover · 2 months

Note

Wow that was some heavy emotional heartbreak in that chapter! I feel like there is an elephant sitting on my chest right now. My heart just hurts that bad for two fictional characters. It's just a testament to how much emotion you create with your stories. The best stories take you on an emotional roller coasters, and that's exactly what yours is doing.

I did not see that back story coming! It makes more sense now why she wants to leave so badly. JK really didn't have a choice but to let her go. This story is kind of like that famous line that goes something like if you love someone let them go, and if they come back to you, they were meant to be yours. That's what will happen with the two of them here. He even says it one of the lines. That he'll let her go to find her own happiness, and if she comes back to him, that means she chose to be with him. By convincing her to stay in the company, it's not her choice to be with him. She's not being given any other choice that way. She has to want him on her own. And him too. He has to want her outside of just needing her to be his assistant. They need to be more to each other than what the job allows them to be.

I really hope Mr. Ri gets his chance to be with OC's mom. If OC and JK can get their "second" chance, I hope Mr. Ri does too. He's such a great character, and I've really come to adore him. I hope that when the story ends, he also gets his happy ending.

I'm assuming there will be some kind of time jump coming up in the next chapter. I would imagine it would take maybe a few years for her to find what she's looking for and make her ready to come back to him. It certainly can't happen in a few months. I'm curious to see if they stay in touch after she leaves, or if there is just a complete break between them until she's ready to find him again. The real question is will JK have gone back to his playboy persona again. Can he stay celibate while he's waiting for her? I hope so, because that would just prove to her how much he cares for her. And will she stay celibate? So many questions I can't wait to find out the answers to!

Hiii ugh, I love it when you guys cry but I always hope you feel better right after. 🥹 I cried writing this chapter, too, especially the narration of the past, so I'm happy to know that the emotions I felt are also being felt by the readers.

I've been hinting that connection from the beginning! You might spot them after another read through hehe but true, it was just so important for OC to do this for herself. Imagine having to carry that burden... And she didn't even expect to like him! Like she said, she wasn't supposed to care that much. We at least have a JK who understands why she's doing it, but sometimes the best decisions don't make us happy (right now). And that' just how life goes. Like you said, it has to be their choice, an idea that I emphasise moving forward bc choice is what OC didn't feel she's ever really had, so if she stayed for JK, she's essentially letting him take that away from her this time. It's just not a good start.

I love the love for Mr. Ri! I absolutely enjoy creating characters like this. There's so much wisdom and pain and I just like the idea of how he's family to both OC and JK. 😌😌

Hmm interesting take about the way forward. I'd say that learning to heal and finding their happiness is important but like a lovely friend pointed out, they aren't together... They just admitted their feelings but there's nothing else beyond that. Whatever feelings they have for each other haven't fully developed yet, so they don't even know what happiness with each other looks like. Sure they have their own issues, but they’re issues that intensified bc they’ve been dealing with them in their own.

Just a thought, bc this seems to be a popular take! And my answer would be... things will be happy but they won't be perfect. There are also plans for season 2, so there’s that!

Thank you so much for reading! Been enjoying reading all of your lovely thoughts 💕💕

#mimianswers #fic: iwyts

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romanarose · 2 years

Text

Seattle

All fics master list here

Part 2 here

Seattle Masterlist

Marc Spector X fem!reader (not super descriptive, but female pronouns are used.)

Fic Summary: A song fic to Seattle by Jason Walker. You call Marc late at night needing help from across the country. Over a series of lyrics and memories, it becomes clear that he can't help you when you won't help yourself.

WARNINGS!!!!: Domestic violence, child abuse, mentions of bodily harm, homelessness, talk of sex, the usual warnings when it comes to Marc Spector. No happy ending.

A/N: Reader is Jewish. Marc, as I hope you know, is JEWISH. I am a hopeful jewish convert. I tried my best to sprinkle little Jewish things throughout this fic, bc it's something I really love about Marc. If anything is wrong or offensive, LMK and I'll fix it. I am very very new to the process. I'll have translations in bold bc google doesn't translate Hebrew well. Also, I cried writing this. A lot. Not because I saw myself in the reader, but I saw myself in Marc. I was never in a DV situation, but my best friend was. And it was scary. As much as I tried to help, only she could make the choice to leave for good. It took years. By the end, she had lot a majority of contact with all her friends and family except me. It was the most terrifying time in my life. But now she's happily married to a great guy, and I was her bridesmaid last year. There's hope y'all.

*****************************************

Who else would be calling me at 3 am

Just to tell me you're still there

The sky's still falling

When Marc heard the buzz of his phone, he immediately jolted awake. A phone call at 3 am was never a great start.

Hm? What’s happen’n, Marc? Steven mumbled, waking up with less of a startle.

He saw your name on his phone and quickly answered “What’s going on?”

“Jesus” He heard a short, tired chuckle. “Don’t sound so panicked.”

Marc sat up “Are you okay? Talk to me.” He heard the sounds of the city around you. Why were you outside in Seattle at 3 Am in the fall? He pulled up his weather app where he already had Seattle saved. “It’s raining and it’s cold, why are you outside?”

There was a long pause. “Um. Me and Jack got in a fight, I needed to get some air…” You said this quietly, as if Marc wouldn’t hear you.

“Honey, you said you were leaving…” Marc tried not to chastise you. You had been married to Jack only a few years now, after a very short dating period. You hadn’t even been dating a year by the time you were married. That was intentional on Jacks part. He had always been controlling and as time went on, things kept getting progressively worse. He would go months without hearing from you. Jack was jealous. Marc had known you since childhood, growing up in the synagogue together. When you’re mom died, your dad became abusive. You and Marc were kindred souls. You never stayed in each other's orbit for very long, not after high school. But you always, always kept in touch. After all you’d been through…

There was spring after he turned 18, when he left home. He wanted to drop out, but you convinced him to stay with you. You hid him in your room, that lasted all of one week. When your dad found him in your room at midnight, he kicked you out. After slapping you. You had to hold Marc back from fighting your dad. For that spring, it was youth shelters until graduation. It was a long, long road for both of you, but by the end, you were happy. Then Jack came along, and all hopes went out the window.

Marc didn’t understand what you saw in him. Sometimes, with men like that, they are charming at first, but Marc never thought Jack even tried, and he looked average. Marc knew you had low self esteem, and Jack probably sniffed that out right away. Marc wasn’t exactly known for his self confidence, but he knew he was good looking. That was just a fact. And you? Well, you looked like heaven to him.

Tell me what you

Need to hear this time to make it count

And to get you out of

You steadied your voice, trying not to alarm him. “I know… I know… But he apologized and… things were going well for a while…” Marc could still hear your voice cracking, he could just envision your body language he knew so well. You were probably playing with your hair or rubbing your thumb along your other fingers. Nervous habit. “He’s my husband Marc…” you spoke softly, like you were trying to reason with yourself.

When you both became homeless, you and Marc would stay together when possible. Marc felt horrible for getting you kicked out, so he insisted on staying with you when he could, and knowing which Women’s shelter when he couldn’t. If there was only one bed, Marc insisted you take it. If there were no beds, you stayed together on the street. That happened a lot too. Chicago was a rough place. Marc’s dad sent him some money, Elias felt guiltier than shit. His home was always open to Marc, but he wasn’t going back there, he’d rather die. So instead, Elias sent money, and Marc paid your phone bill so he could stay in touch, no matter what. He paid for it all four years of college. Whatever the two of you had during those months, you shared.

“Can you please tell me what happened?” Marc spoke softly, hoping it indicated concern, not impatience. He needed to know you were okay. He wanted you to be safe, but there was no rest from that when you were so far away and with a man like Jack. He tried to get you out multiple times, to no avail. This wasn’t the first late night call. “Husband or not, you don’t have to be miserable…” you were married in a baptist church, something he never could have seen you do. Even when you both were homeless, and you avoided the Chicago Jewish circles for fear your dad would find you, you still remained religious. You tried not to work on holy days, you said prayers, and always tried to have some sort of treat for Shabbat.

“I’m sorry I woke you” Your lip quivered, knowing he didn’t sleep well and you probably woke him from the precious few hours he got.

“Hey, hey, metuka, I was already up…” (sweetheart) A bold faced lie. He didn’t know what it was about you, but when he spoke to you, the Jew in him really came out. “You didn’t wake me, I promise.”

You didn’t believe him. You knew how he sounded when you woke him up. You’d done it enough times the last 2 decades “Can I… Can I maybe stay with you for a little? I’ll take the couch it’ll just be until I get on my feet, I have a little money saved so it wouldn’t be-”

“You can stay as long as you need, or want.” Marc’s heart jumped at the possibility, but he knew better than to get ahead of himself. Until you were in his arms, you weren’t really out of that god forsaken city that had done nothing but tear you down. “And hey, you’re already used to the cold and rain, so New York shouldn’t be that big of a change… just like home.” Those cold winters with you… how they stuck in his mind. Here’s gonna be your chance mate. Maybe…. If she comes. She said she was coming? Marc’s tone was playful, almost whimsical, but he got serious. “Did he hurt you again?” He knew the answer.

Seattle, I don't know why

You stand under the clouds expecting to stay dry

Can't you see the day you'll ever win

That battle

Is the day they'll take the rain out of

Seattle

You sigh. You can’t hide anything from him. But you try. “It wasn’t bad this time, Marc, really-”

“Honey.”

You rest your head against the cold building you were standing under, voice shaky “I just got out of the ER.”

You met Jack in Chicago, he insisted you both move to Seattle when you got married. Closer to his family, he said. Marc was in town at the time. He wondered if that had something to do with leaving. Jack had isolated you from all your friends but him. This was just the final move to cut you clean away from anyone who could help. Marc remembered the times in his life he was away from you for months or years, he always let you know he was alive. Sometimes, you couldn’t even grant him that. It wasn’t your fault, of course. Marc knew Jack hated him, and you were afraid of his reaction if he found texts or calls from him. Some days, he wanted so badly to reach out, but if you and him were in a wilderness period, he knew better. A text from him might get you hurt. There were times he could only assure himself that you were alive, because his dad would’ve called him if you weren’t. Elias and your dad still saw each other at the temple.

“Jesus! What the fuck did he do?” It had never been that bad before. The fact he ever laid a hand on you, let alone enough you needed first aid was bad enough, but you had never needed a doctor before. It was getting worse. He needed to stop this, to bring you home.

You and Marc spent a lot of time in Lake Michigan that summer on the streets, just trying to stay cool, sleeping by the beach during heat waves if there was nowhere to go. It was a long, hot summer. Horrible. On the hottest day on record, he remembers trying to keep you cool all day, but the shelters were full, businesses were shutting down because they couldn’t keep the air conditioning on. You had worked that day, and when he got you from your job, you seemed off. He remembers you passing out a few hours later, starting to seize in his arms. Heat stroke. A nurse stopped and helped, although there wasn’t much to do. You refused the hospital when you came too, you were saving up for college. He showed up at his parents house that night, begging his dad to help you. He did, of course. Elias is a good person. Marc was going to leave you there for a few days while you recovered, but you told him if he left, you were leaving. “Where you go, I will go, where you stay, I will stay.” You had quoted Ruth to him. How could he not love you after that? You and Marc stayed in the basement for 3 days. Elias sent you both off with money and food. You never saw his mom.

“He didn’t mean-”

“Tell me!” Marc, take a breath. “Please…”

The tears that you had been holding finally come, flashbacks from the night running through. “He slammed the door on my hand, I don’t think he meant to break it but… yeah.”

Marc disappeared that fall, when you began taking classes. For months you hardly heard anything from him, just the occasional text when you begged him to tell you he was alive. He showed up that winter, looking like he was dragged through hell, refusing to answer your questions. That winter… you’ll never forget. Marc asked his dad for one more favor, cosigning on a 6 month lease. Together, you and Marc lived in the tiniest goddamn efficiency apartment he had ever seen. You shared a bed, cuddling together in the bed just to save $5 on the heating bill. There was one night, you both had been so cold… You remained almost fully clothed the entire time, but you remember his hands holding you so tenderly… his hands in your curls, yours in his. Heat and the sound of gentle, tender kisses… You were each other’s first, but you never talked about it again.

Marc scrubbed his face with his free hand, trying not to break his phone in his grip. “How many?”

“How many what?”

“How many fingers did he break…” Marc spoke through gritted teeth. A long pause. “Tell me.” You have to meet her, she’s going to need help with her bags It was a very Steven thought.

“Three.”

He was going to kill Jack. He was going to break every single of his fingers and toes, one after the other. “I’m coming to get you.” Marc stood up, grabbing Steven’s laptop to search for flights. While Steven didn’t want you carrying bags with something broken, but Marc also knew you’d never leave if he wasn’t there.

He's still got that

Hold on you that makes you crazy

Your bags are packed

But you don't really plan on leaving

“Marc, no, I’ll come this week, I just gotta take care of somethings” You don’t want him here, you know he’ll get in a fight with Jack. You don’t want Jack to hurt him, and you don’t want Jack to hurt you.

“That’s a lie and you know it!” Marc didn’t mean to raise his voice, even if it was over the phone. He knew how that made you wince. Even before Jack existed, your dad was a source of fear. “I’m sorry, sorry…”

For the next decade and a half, you and Marc’s paths would cross at various times. You graduated college and went on to do fairly well. No one would expect the year you spend homeless. Marc rarely visited, and he never saw his mom, but sometimes he’d come to town and see you and his dad. You and him would spend as much time with each other as you could, until he was on to his next adventure. That is, until you met Jack. Jack didn’t like Marc, didn’t trust him… Jack never forced you to stop talking to Marc, but slowly, slowly it was easier to just… stop sometimes. After the wedding, you would sometimes not talk to him for close to a year. But you always called on Rosh Hoshonnah. Always. The Jewish New year. You wanted a good start. And Marc was so, so good.

“Don’t. Come. out here. Or I’m not coming with you. I mean it.”

Marc knows damn well you weren’t likely to be coming with him either way.

Why do you wait?

All that city does is bring you down

And you could get out of

Marc, you gotta get her. She asked me not too He broke her fingers! Do you want me to just pick her up and carry her to the plane?

“Fine… just… come here as soon as you can. Gina will get you work at the diner until you find something in your field. We’ll take care of everything…” Marc knew you were slipping through his grasp, he wanted to reassure you that you didn’t need to worry about anything. “Just get the important documents, we’ll get you clothes and-”

The rain picked up again, you attempted to stay dry. “It’s okay, I got clothes… It’ll just take a few weeks maybe a month at most…” You’d have to find a new job, leave Jack and his family… You didn’t have any other friends that weren’t through him… Your dad wouldn’t want anything to do with you, he would never support a divorce.

Seattle, I don't know why

You stand under the clouds expecting to stay dry

Can't you see the day you'll ever win

That battle

Is the day they'll take the rain out of

Seattle

“Okay…” Marc knew he lost you. You weren’t coming. “Yeah maybe you can come out and we can… we can try this deli in town. Steven likes the soup.” He was entertaining himself to try to calm his mind. It’ll be okay, she’ll leave him, she’ll be okay…

You snicker “Damn, Steven lets you get food there? I thought he’d be strictly Whole Foods man”

Hey! Marc smiles warmly. “He says since it’s kosher, he’ll allow it, as long as he doesn’t have to eat it.”

Fall, fall, falling

Oh, the sky keeps falling

And it gets so heavy on your heart

Fall, fall, falling

Oh, the tears keep falling

And you keep staying where you are

“Well that’s very nice of him…” You pause, thinking about how nice it would be to just live in New York with him, just you and him. It would be like your youth, the few years you and him spent drifting in and out of each other's lives. “Maybe we could go swim, like we used to?”

The thought of you in a swimsuit again… “Yeah.” He said. From the way he sounded, his thoughts were in your youth as well. “We could uh… we could go see Funny Girl and throw tomatoes at the actress you hate?” Marc don’t you dare Relax, she’s not coming. What do you mean? She never comes. She says she will, but she won’t.

You finally laugh. He could just imagine your face, all lit up and happy. “Yeah, that sounds great Marc, any chance to make Lea Michelle look stupid.” It’s how you deserved to be all the time.

Marc stood up to get a drink. He wasn’t sleeping tonight. “Yeah and… and Steven really wants to meet you.”

“I wanna meet him too. Hey! Purim is in a month, I think it’s only a few days before your birthday this year! Maybe we could go to a temple and celebrate?” Now he knew that you knew you weren’t coming. Marc hasn’t been to a synagogue since he left home. He knew you occasionally went, especially on the High Holidays. You would only ever bring this up if you never intended on coming. “Or maybe a different holiday, depending how long it takes me…”

Seattle, I don't know how

I'm supposed to help you if you won't leave town

Oh, can't you see the day you'll ever win

That battle

Is the day they'll take the rain out

The day they'll take the rain out of

Seattle

Marc felt the familiar tightness in his throat when he was losing you, the tears that rarely made an appearance, threatening to spill. “Yeah, yeah. That sounds amazing, Yafah sheli.” (my pretty) Marc had to take a deep breath to stop himself from crying. He closed his eyes tightly, hand shaking. “I’ll tell you what. I promise you, that if you come out here.” His voice broke, he covered it with a cough and tried again. “You come out here, I’ll go to temple with you for whatever holiday you want.” Marc crossed his arms on the counter, resting his head there. He needed you here, with the way things were escalating it would just get worse and worse until you were dead.

“Yeah. It’ll be like old times, huh?” You knew he knew. You’d leave, eventually. Maybe. But Jack deserves a second chance. He’s you’re husband, he loved you. Marc didn’t know him like you did, he didn’t understand… Marc should know what love does to you, it isn’t logical… It doesn’t make sense… But Marc doesn’t have to understand.

Somehow, you couldn’t help but wonder where you’d be if the two of you had actually addressed what happened that night in December. Sometimes, as much as you push it away, you get flashbacks.

Blurry, hazy vision. His black shirt, your face in his neck, the look he gave you when he came inside you. You knew damn well how irresponsible it was, given your situation, but in the heat of the moment… Oh, so much heat. It wasn’t world changing or mind shattering, but it was love. Young love, puppy love, who knows. But you loved him and you knew back then he loved you two. Those 6 months were domestic bliss, you lived as a couple in every way but name and sexual, save for that night. Cooking, cleaning, work. Hell, you guys put together a small bookshelf without committing homicide. Why didn’t one of you just… said something? Marc wondered that too. He could practically smell the dollar store strawberry shampoo in your hair, and sometimes, if he concentrated, he felt the grip you had on his shoulder as he entered you. He had loved you so much in the moment, he didn’t know how to express it, so he simply never did.

Marc’s left fist was clenched hard in anger and frustration. Not with you. Never with you. But with the cards life constantly dealt you. His nails are digging into his palm. He wanted you here, he wanted you safe. You didn’t have to love him, just let him help… “Just um… Text me when you know the day, whatever it is I’ll make it work. Okay?”

He was so sweet. So pure. Everything the world threw at him and he still was the kindest person you knew. No matter what he thought of himself, no matter how much he hated himself, he was still so, so kind. “Yeah. of course. Thank you, Lamed Vovnik. I love you lots.” Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. You step out into the rain to ground yourself again. (one of the 36. It's a Jewish tradition, it basically means you are a very, very good person)

Marc, I’m sorry… “I love you too, honey.” He clenched harder, as if he held on hard enough, you’d stay in his grasp. When he opens his fist, he’s sure there’ll be blood. “Be safe. Okay? You always have a home with me and Steven. Always.”

“I know. Hey uh. I think it’s best if you didn’t call or text or anything for a while, okay? He’s already suspicious…”

“I understand.” Marc knew what that meant. It meant he wouldn’t hear from you for months, maybe not a year. This was it for now. “Shalom. Ani mitga’gea elayich...” (goodbye, I miss you) His voice broke, and there was no hiding it this time. Marc covers his mouth and closed his eyes as a few rogue tears wetter his face. He should’ve been there. He should’ve told you he loved you, he should have stayed in Chicago to be with you and never let that piece of shit come near you. He should’ve never let you feel so low that you thought he was all you deserved.

You pull at your hair, Seattle’s signature rain hiding the fact you were crying too. “Shalom, Marc Spector. Ani ohevet ot’h’a�� (good bye)(I love you)

Oh, can't you see

You'll never take the rain out of

Seattle

****************************

THANK YOU FOR READING.

If this fic gets 100 notes, I'll write a part 2 with a happier ending.

Tagging a few people I thought might enjoy

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @ahookedheroespureheart @howaboutcastiel

#marc spector fluff #marc spector hurt comfort #marc spector fanfic #marc spector moon knight #marc spector needs a hug #marc spector reader #jewish marc spector #moon knight fluff #moon knight hurt comfort #moon knight fanfiction #moon knight you #jewish reader #steven grant #hurt comfort #soft marc spector #marc spector #moon knight

110 notes · View notes

sunshinepixels · 1 year

Text

EVERYTHING WRONG WITH THE TEEN WOLF MOVIE

bc I hate it more than I've ever hated anything in my life 😭

Allison is back from the dead and somehow stays alive by the end of the movie as if that's not unnatural af !!! Like she's a human? how is that a thing? why did they do this? I love Allison, I really do but her coming back to life and not being laid back to rest by the end of the movie was so psycho and bizarre. Idk why they made that choice but I hated it

Derek apparently had a child 15 years ago and Allison died 15 years ago so somehow he had a child in season 3? When? When would he have time to do that? He was literally with Jennifer that season 🤨 so when did he make this kid who he seemed to have always been in the life of ? the math isn't mathing. ik teen wolf math sometimes doesn't make sense but I excused it bc I like the show but since I hate this fucking movie I will not excuse it. Jeff Davis tell me how the fuck Derek somehow had a kid in season 3!?

Who is the mother of Derek's child? (We all know that Stiles is the other parent) but fr why is she not mentioned at fucking all??? like it felt so unnatural, like they were specifically talking around it or some shit. I swear Eli never even says the word mom once!! how? why do they act like she doesn't exist? at this point I'm gonna assume Derek made this child asexually through budding or some shit cus wtf

IK Dylan O didn't want to be in the movie but they didn't have to do everything in their power to pretend Stiles didn't exist. The only references to him were the Jeep and Lydia's dumb dream. It made it seem like Stiles doesn't keep up with them anymore and that they don't keep up with him, and that's including his fucking dad. It's so unnatural and ew. I'm also very sad that Kira wasn't here but ik why Arden didn't want to do it. Fuck Jeff tbh. Kira was barely mentioned also, I don't think they EVER said anything about her at all. It's giving Jeff is bitter or smth.

This movie dragged so bad, it was boring as shit and I struggled to get to the 2 hour mark. It was actually painful for me to watch . I wanted to skip through every scene basically, trying to get to SOMETHING interesting, but it was rare that anything like that was going on

Some of the style choices were weird. The clothes they had Deaton in weren't right, it didn't feel like something he'd wear at all. Also so weird to see Chris in a turtleneck, idk if he's worn one before but it looked weird. Peter ate though, I have to give them that.

WHY WOULD MASON BE A FUCKING COP? What about him screams cop? 😐 He should be working with Melissa at the hospital or doing LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE.

Parrish and Malia 😐 disgusting. He knew her as a teen!!! like hello?? that's weird af! I already hated him and Lydia, bc why is he going after a freshly turned 18 y/o and I was hoping that the writers would know better by now then to do this weird shit but obviously they didn't

What exactly was Harris back for? He barely explained what happened to him or what he knew? It was dumb. If they left him out, I don't think it would've impacted the movie or what we know about Harris at all. Also, I don't remember if they explained but why was he alive anyway?

Abolish Eichen House

Some of the sets were very ugg and didn't feel like teen wolf at all

Peter sniffing the ground like a dog ☠️☠️☠️ SO UGLY 😭 but so hilarious, best scene hands down

Curse count: 9 Shits and 2 Motherfuckers (both from Chris which is funny asf)

The movie was not fun, it didn't have the fun vibes of the original show, all the jokes were meh and didn't live up to the source material.

who tf is Eli's mom 😐 I'm serious

why did former best friends Mason and Liam barely say one word to each other 😐😐😐😐 idc if they had no time, they should've been hugging and crying in the background or some shit

Why did they decide to make Derek burn???? LIKE HUH??? That was sick ! The worse possible death they could've given him! Like that's TRAUMATIC!!! Like were we meant to think this was poetic or smth?? cus I don't. I just think it's sick and weird. Not only that but they made him leave his kid. at this point why'd they even give him a kid just to kill him off. it also kind of felt like they exchanged a dead person for an alive person

the way Liam and Hikari pronounced I love you in Japanese was so bad. im not a language expert but that didn't sound right at all. truly horrendous, get a language coach on set or smth cus that ain't it

them having Allison come back and go back to dating Scott felt very character regressiony for him. like ik he loved allison but so what? you don't need to always end up with your first love. he literally was able to move past her death and get in other relationships. it didn't feel like he was holding a torch for her, it felt like he was able to get past it but now it doesn't. idk it's weird

seeing clips from the tv show made me wanna take the shit off my screen and put on the real show

and lastly this movie didn't need to exist and is not canon in my head

#nonsims #teen wolf movie #spoiler #warning #long post #bc im mad #if there are typos idgas #bye #don't watch this shit yall #and if you do #i hope you heal after watching #teen wolf #teen wolf movie spoilers

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gumbxz · 2 years

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steve harrington x ex!friend reader

🔆🔆🔆🔆

reader has some resentment from basically being ditched from steve, around the time when they just started freshmen year, which steve is completely oblivious about and has no idea of doing that. which makes him confused and he tries to apologizes to reader abt it haha ,, season 5 concept maybe- reader helps stevie with some problems and tags along with the squad to help kill vecna 😼

genre// angst hurt/comfort(?)

reader is also um….afro latina bc i said so haha (i love morenas ong….)))

🔆🔆🔆🔆

steve harrington. king steve is what most of the high school jerks would call him. practically kissing his ass just because of how much of a cool dude he is for being a total dick. i have to say it but glamorizing big huge dicks like steve sure was the fun of all things

steve harrington and (y/n) (l/n) we’re and unluckily pair. never to be seen before in highschool. because no one knew. even steve the “hair” harrington forgot about it.

middle school was where the two of you were a pair that couldn’t ever be separated. no matter what happened, it was unlike you two to be torn apart. steve would always treat me like a friend. someone that he could talk to and vent about his parents to. i of course listened, because it’s what he would’ve done for me. middle school was where our problems slowly started.

to be fair—i’ve always loved steve. yes. the beautify dark skinned girl from the quiet town set in no-where in indiana. was inlove. with the popular cool rich kid steve harrington. every single girl that would pass by the pair in middle school would always talk badly about them.

“why is steve with her? i bet she smells terrible.”

“she’s so hairy on her arms.”

“i bet she’s only friends with him for his money.”

those were the things kids in hawkins middle school would say about you two. but steve didn’t care, and neither did you. you were too busy focusing on what type of activities you’d both do after school.

my parents loved steve. maybe more then me at some point. steve really preferred coming over your house because of how much your mother would spoil him. telling him to eat nearly the entire dinner when he was so close to throwing up.

steve’s parents however. they didn’t really like me that much. and i’m not surprised. it’s the 80s what more could they expect. brown girls weren’t really common in indiana. you’d be lucky to even be in a neighborhood full of good people.

some nights you’d stay and sleepover at steve’s house. his parents trusted him to that extent. but his father was still concerned about what you might do.

one night. you heard steve’s father whispering about you to steve’s mom. the door to steve’s room was open just a little. a small crack of light entering the dark room. steve had a bunkbed and called dips on the top bunk before you could make a choice. but you didn’t mind, it beats sleeping on the floor like most sleepovers you’ve had.

as you rest, you over hear the conversation his parents share about you.

“steve is going to get himself mixed with those people. he’s already friends with one of them. i bet she’s doing this for money..or..or drugs!” his father said in a hushed tone

“don’t say that now. she’s a good girl. and she treats our stevie so well. why would she do that.”

“i can tell the way she looks around the house. it’s almost like she’s planning something. have you seen the news, honey? those damn colombians and mexicans…”

“that’s enough out of you. she’s a child! and our son has trust in her. so trust the decision our son makes.”

his mother finished and it got quiet for a moment before the light shut off. you could only stay and think about the things they said. it’s nothing you haven’t heard of before. but it was a different pain. it made you overthink, and maybe it was best that this should be your last time sleeping here every again. you’re clearly not welcome. that was the longest you’ve stayed crying in bed.

as soon as you both finished middle school and started your freshmen year. the two of you began to lose touch. of one another.

“steve! where were you? i thought we were gonna go watch superman together.”

steve shut his locker and turned to look at you. he looked like shit. he definitely went to some party and got drunk.

“huh? superman huh. shit- i-i forgot. something came up and my friends wanted to like.. hang out.”

“but. you were the on that planned the whole hang out? ..and you chickened out on your own plan?”

“well i’m sorry. i had better stuff to do.”

“better stuff to do? wow. i see how it is. i bet that better stuff was getting your knob wet.”

you began walking away. unbelievable. was all you could think of. steve grabs your arm and stops you from walking away from the situation.

“hey hey. that’s not what happened. we just- drank is all—no girls.”

“no girls my ass. we’re they pretty at least? i bet they were the perfect things you’ve ever seen, huh.”

“what the hells your problem? look, just because i hang out with different people, doesn’t make it the end of the world, alright? i’m still friends with you.”

“are you really? or are you starting to catch on to the things your “pals” are saying about me.”

“what are you talking about?”

“i see the way you look at me. you look at me with disgust. it’s different now, it’s like you can’t stand being associated with me.”

he shook his head and rested both his hand on his forehead and let out a deep breath.

“and what if thats what it was about? what if they’re right. what if you are just a druggie from out of town trying to get close to me just to take my money?”

everyone was watching all of this unfold, whispering and gossiping about you. you couldn’t believe him. the only real friend you ever had said these things about you. and you trusted him. all your life. for it to only mean nothing.

“you know what. i thought you were different from the racist assholes in this town. clearly i’m wrong. you’re the same as them. and to think.. that you actually cared about me. to think steve would see me the same way he sees any other “normal” girl.”

you stayed strong. trying your best to stay strong and have that small self respect keep you alive. steve had nothing to say. there was nothing to say. and from that day on. the two of you haven’t said a thing. you wouldn’t even bat an eye. even when you’ve reached your junior year. steve looks at you with regret, not knowing what else to say to you when he sees you. you don’t care. at least you pretend you don’t care, but inside you miss that same boy.

you missed that boy that would wait after school to walk you home after getting extra work done in your class. you missed that boy that would stick up for you and take a few punches for you. you missed that boy that would share his lunch with you when you brought nothing. you missed steve harrington.

(present time now ^_^ !)

steve needed your help. you were a genius. of course he needed your help. but you were really doing this for the cute weird kids of hawkins.

“so everything you’ve faced against was in dnd?”

“yeah! kind of..” dustin finished

“well.. why don’t you try to think of what might happen next? didn’t nancy say a big red monster was gonna attack hawkins or something?”

“yeah.” the boys said in unison.

“so why don’t you research on your dnd thing and maybe plan ahead, this game clearly has a relation to all the shit you’ve been facing. it only makes sense. you just need a head start.”

after you finished. everyone seem to have caught on and began scrambling through your entire nerd collection. the only one that couldn’t seem to be looking for clues and relations to this thing was no other then.. steve.

he took this chance to speak to you in private. whispering to you and asking to talk to you in a more.. quiet place.

you shut the door to your room quietly and stand against the hallway wall and glared at him while looks at you with those soft brown eyes.

“so what’s up?”

“look (y/n), i wanna say. thank you. thank you for helping us. even if it isn’t major- it seems to be getting us through it, especially during this time—“

“—no problem. is there anything else you wanna say?”

he took a deep breath and moved a strand of hair from his face aside.

“i did some pretty cruel shit to you in our freshman year. i put gum in your hair. i called you names which were just awful. i was really immature. but after some maturing, i realized how awful i was. and how bad i treated you which you didn’t deserve since everything about you was never true. we’ve been through so much before, and i don’t ever want to put you through that again. and i’m sorry.”

“i appreciate the apology, stevie. just one thing, i don’t forgive you.”

“but i said i was sorry?”

“yeah, and i don’t forgive you. people can change and stuff but, you can’t change the pain that was left there. you don’t understand betrayal and heart break. because that never happened to you, because you had friends. and i didn’t.”

“that’s the thing- i understand you now because i’ve been through the same thing too.”

“no! you don’t understand. you don’t know what it’s like to have loved someone secretly. to only have your heart and soul be stabbed and lied to.”

you realized what you said and quickly stopped talking and looked away, trying to cover your face.

“wait wait wait. you- you love me? all this time?”

“no. i don’t. i shouldn’t. you don’t deserve to be loved by me, what you did to me is unforgivable. and i hate you for it.”

he tries holding you, stoping you from cowering away from him.

“that’s okay if you hate me. i’d hate me too if i that happened to me. but, i’m sorry. i really am. but i’ve struggled trying to find what i wanted. to maybe look to other girls that could fit that piece that i wanted. to realize, you’re all i ever wanted. all i could ever need.”

you were flabbergasted, you really were. you couldn’t help but realize your tears were running over your cheek, and down your chin.

“i always loved playing mommy and daddy when we were kids. it always felt like..like the real feeling. the feeling i’ve always dreamed of having. but it’s stupid. it’s stupid knowing that i couldn’t have that. it was stupid of me for thinking i could ever have a chance with someone, knowing that i was different and not..perfect.”

“(y/n). you being yourself is what’s perfect to me. you opening up to me right now is just- wow. i never thought you’d have it in you. don’t think i’d ever leave you because i- i wanna stay. i’m gonna stay with you.”

“you’re not- you’re not gonna leave me? you don’t think i look different?”

“you look perfect. just as perfect as the day i lost you.”

you were crying. your inner child is resting easy now. being held against steve- your first love, was all you could ask for.

his lips kissed the top of your head, holding you tightly against his chest, the only thing you could hear was his soft breathing and heart beating. everything was perfect. your body fit so well against his.. it’s almost as if. you were made for him, as he was made for you.

it may have been the end of the world maybe but, you’re happy to at least have short moments sharing it with steve harrington. you felt distracted, but it was a good distraction. right now you didn’t have a care in the world of what people might think of you. or what people might think of the two of you.

(edit: changed the song to this bc it just fit hehe..)

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #afro latina reader #stranger things #stranger things scenarios #stranger things s5 #steve harrington angst #friends to more #Spotify

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sexisdisgusting · 3 months

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omg weirdo tif stories i have one! although last i saw of her was a few years ago bc she’s blocked on everything but last i saw she was a they/them

literally had no respect for my personal space. like would hug me despite me telling her to stop and trying to fight her off. this went on for YEARS. and my mom witnessed it at least once. at my first homecoming dance (at 14) she was going w a guy who was best friends with someone in our group and there was such a fight over if they were coming w us or not bc all my friends were normal and this one fucking guy and his brother just decided i was lying, that i just didn’t like her (which of course i didn’t?? after years of being terrorized???) that i was faking my anxiety bc i had the audacity to smile sometimes when i was away from her. fr i hope they’re all miserable now INCLUDING their stay at home mom who was taking one psychology class so therefore they knew tactile hallucinations weren’t real . but At the dance she put her hands on my shoulders and cussed me out for being uncomfortable around her. like U ARE THE PROBLEM ????

i told my church group leader too bc she was coming on a trip and i said i didn’t want to be in the same room as her so i had the “choice” of staying with my friends (and the girl who harassed me) or four other girls i didn’t really know. i of course picked the girls i didn’t know and it sucked that i had to be away from my friends like why am i being punished for being relentlessly harassed. like why did adults besides my mom not believe me on this it’s so crazy to think about

anyway i still wake up having nightmares of people crowding and touching me without my permission and even when i was dating my ex there were days i refused to be touched by him in any capacity bc i would get too overwhelmed. idk glad she found an eyebrow pencil and a gender identity tho that’s really cool for u /s

im sorry anonita this sounds like such a shit experience, you did not deserve to be made to feel that way :(

i stg so many tifs are disrespectful of peoples boundaries and think that everyone must be okay with whatever they do to them

#asks #anon asks

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tk-duveraun · 1 year

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@pangolinheart i tried to write an ask and it got too long hahahaha lmaorip

You've activated my ADHD.

Coming up with interesting concepts for characters has never been a particular strong suit of mine (which is why I'm terrible at TTRPGs like D&D).

If you have attempted to play a TTRPG and felt like your character/your playing was boring that is not your fault. TTRPGs are a collaborative affair and the right DM for you could have pulled out the cool shit.

I actually did a write up on how to create a character last year.

I think it's likely you've been convinced by something in your life that you're not creative. Criticised too harshly, mean comments, comparing your own ideas unfavorably to people far more practiced, who knows.

Enjoying and participating so much in ask games shows that your creativity is there it just has to be teased out correctly. Like I said in my other ask, I have so much practice teasing out ideas. I've read so many books teaching me how to do it and I've spent years practicing the skill constantly (thanks ADHD).

Constraint breeds creativity. You know this because when you get a prompt in an ask box, you have an answer, but when you're asked "What's the cool thing about my OC?" you come up with nothing. That's just how human brains work with this kind of stuff!

It's hard to break down the process bc I have severe ADHD, but let me try.

So, personally, I try to design characters with "What would be funniest?"

So Lian is au'ra and all min sliders. So it would be funny if she had a bunch of younger brothers that were just GIANTS. Right? That's funny. Let's throw in more siblings because that makes it funnier, right?

So now the facts we have:

Lian is the oldest of 7 kids

Lian is the Warrior of Light

Lian can fight

Lian has the Echo

Lian is a Raen Au'ra

So we take these facts and run them past the list of potential character/personality archetypes

Eldest daughters are often portrayed as super responsible and protective. This can also come with resentment for having to have looked after their siblings.

So I like the first part, but I don't want resentment. Resentment isn't funny. What would be more funny? If she wanted to parent her siblings, but her parents were like "No, you're a CHILD" and didn't let her.

Now we have a character with a bunch of younger siblings who is a hero saving the realm and desperately wanted to be the mom to her sibs and now it's the Scions' problem. Mom-friend overdrive, especially with the twins.

Enter Estinien. He was my first choice wolmance. He's a horrible raccoon of a man and I love him so much.

So I start going through scenarios and it's not looking great. Mom-friend, mostly-well-adjusted Lian is just gonna end up being a kind of weird therapist to our raccoon man.

But you know what our raccoon man has that we can leverage? A dead family. .... .. :)

So, now Lian's family is dead, they have beautiful mutual survivor's guilt and are gonna fuck about it.

But wait, there's more! I just did the DRK quest. Ishgardians killed a bunch of au'ra for looking kinda dragon-y? :))))))))))))))))))

Estinien is openly hostile and aggressive towards Lian at first.

Well now we need some kind of explanation for what happened to Lian's family. What could kill off 9+ people in one fell swoop? Guess who's in Stormblood now :) Lian's from an underwater raen village. You know what is great at killing 9+ people in isolated villages? Disease :))))))))))))))))))))) Not gonna lie, COVID being on definitely contributed to this.

So Lian's family all died to illness. How did she survive? Was she not there? Zero percent chance she was not there. Too much filial piety for that. So she got sick, but didn't die.

Let's lean into it, take it one step further. Not only did she get sick, she was patient 0. Now the survivor's guilt is even guiltier.

She would have been considered severe bad luck at best by her village, so she feels she has to leave. Well, how does one, orphaned, get from under the sea near Yanxia to Eorzea? Not easily. It was difficult, she couldn't speak the language, she was surely set upon by bandits...

Over time these elements developed into the conceit that Lian can't die. She didn't die from the illness, she didn't die on the way to Eorzea or anything that came to that point.

And now I have something I can leverage into the Big Bang fic where Lian gets speared through at the end of The Vault, and fucking dies but also doesn't die and Haurchefant is super fucked up about it, because no one else seemed to notice or care. They just assumed she was fine.

What I'm getting at is, when I made Lian, I wasn't in the CC thinking "Okay, now the Blessing of Light makes her immune to death for reasons of enjoyable story :)"

I was in the CC thinking "Dragon girl!!!! Dragon girl from asia? Okay I am really into Cdramas, let's make her ~Chinese instead of ~Japanese like Yugiri, DRAGON :))))"

The rest came in increments over time. Taking each new idea and then leaning on it, squeezing it until I had the maximum interesting stuff come out.

Next time you do an ask game, when you write your answer, once you finish, read it again and go "okay, but how can I make this more extreme? More funny? More tragic? More cute?"

Just rinse and repeat and ta da your character is just as cool and complex as everyone else's!

#lian feng #character design #writing advice

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girlvinland · 10 months

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I have so many emotions every day. I’ll have moments when I’m content or even feeling joyful, but then a huge wave of guilt or sadness or resentment will wash over me. I know it’s normal, so I have to just let it happen and let it go.

Yesterday I was listening to an older woman talk about how she didn’t start understanding her sexuality until she was 56, and that from there it took another 8-10 years of working on being okay with it bc of the things she’d done in life (marriage, kids, and all that), and bc of her own internalized homophobia. I felt like I related so much, even though I’m not as old as her, even though I haven’t chosen to do those things, and even though we’ve had different journeys (she said she’d never questioned her sexuality before then, which is a hard thing for me to understand, but I know it’s different for older generations).

I had things I always knew about in myself as a teenager and even as a child, but then something would always push me back from being okay with it. I think I was 23-25 when I finally started slowly putting my toes in the water more, even though the thing that persisted in my mind was always “no, you can’t do this. What would your parents think? Dad wants a son-in-law he can do things with. Mom wants a grandchild that she is related to. They want this one life for you that they envisioned, so just stick with the program until someday you can be free from their expectations.” And it’s really sad that someday would always = when my parents are no longer here. With that knowledge, how long would this need to be endured? It’s sad that so many other people have felt like this, too.

My guilt doesn’t all stem from that, though. I had been in a relationship with someone for so long, to the point of becoming engaged because we felt so much pressure to do it, and bc it felt safe. Plus, the idea of a wedding is often so fun and exciting, it’s hard to not get all wrapped up in that. I’m lucky that this person has always treated me with so much kindness and respect, I don’t know if I could have learned to accept myself so much otherwise, because they encouraged my self-exploration so much, and never with any judgment. So when I’ve taken these dips into the water, I’ve had to consider how badly it must still hurt them, how badly it must have hurt to have been on the other side of this. The only consolation is knowing that we both made the decision to stay due to comfort/stagnation/safety/etc. And now, we both want the best for one another. It is a weird journey, but maybe it’s not that abnormal, either. It helps when there are mutual understandings and few hard feelings.

I used to imagine life as a really big peak to climb, like you’d just keep making decisions to go up and up and up. Graduate high school. Go to college. Find someone. Get a job. Get married. Have kids. Stay at your job. See kids have kids. Retire. Die.

I’ve realized it’s not like that at all, that it’s not one big peak, but rather a series of hills, and I see it in myself and in my family and friends- we all make choices, but the choices can always change. Nothing is permanent, no rule book has to be followed (bc no rule book actually exists). You can change your mind at any time. Even if it hurts, even if it hurts other people. Of course, I think trying to diminish the hurt is usually a very good thing to do, even if it can’t always be done.

But I am so tired of this whole life skeleton that seems to be so set in place for everyone to adhere to. And I couldn’t keep using the sunk-cost fallacy to justify my decisions like, well, I’ve been doing this for this long, so I can’t turn around now. I could always turn around, I always can. Everyone can. I’ve watched my mom change her career completely in her 40s-50s. I’ve seen friends get divorced in their late twenties after realizing marriage or the person they were with wasn’t right for them, but they hadn’t had the knowledge to know that before. I’ve seen people like the woman I mentioned earlier, who discovered more about their identities later than expected.

Each day I become more accepting of the idea that change is possible and even expected, and I feel more and more okay with throwing the weird life rule book into the water. I was losing myself so much by trying to stick to it, but now I know I don’t have to do that any longer. I’ve had a lot lately going on outside of all of this, but the moments I can reflect on it get easier each time. My self-acceptance grows stronger each time. It’s still extremely hard some days, but I don’t fear it so much anymore.

#by bug #idk reflecting but it got long

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strangesmallbard · 1 year

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okay here are my thoughts on hdm s3 eps 3-4:

asriel is SOOO. thinking about the tears in his eyes when he grabs marisa’s throat. this loser has put an entire multiverse between himself and his daughter (and the murder of her best friend) and surrounded himself with people who think he’s the hero of this story—it’s almost enough to convince himself that he is righteous, and good. but marisa LANCES through him with one glance. and he can’t fuckin handle the pressure. exquisite.

also hilarious that asriel is against oppression ostensibly and yet can’t understand why marisa felt ashamed of giving birth to an illegitimate child. sir i know you have access to simone de bouvier now

pacing of ep 3 was a little wonky bc, again, they’re trying to cram the asriel stuff that was supposed from last season into s3 + show us what mary is up to. so we’re getting a couple extra moments with the Asriel Squad that feel laborious at this endgame stage in a tv adaptation. (a book always has more room for multiple plot/character threads than one-hour episodes.) i wish we had more time with ogunwe, ruta skadi. and the gallevespians however.

ruth wilson is just. KILLING IT. her ~redeemed version of marisa is even more unhinged, but simultaneously more grounded. quietly self aware, instead of screaming internally forever. i still have some issue with the framing of motherly love as a redemptive force, but i think it works more in this story than others—especially after including the scene where marisa’s mom sends her the clothes. anyway. marisa is still committing heinous deeds!! just for different reasons. i also like how she and the monkey are repairing their relationship.

i don’t understand the choice to remove the alethiometer explicitly telling lyra to rescue roger. my guess is that jack thorne & co wanted to create more internal conflict for will and lyra, but it reduces the significance of the choice in the overall story. in the book, will & lyra are a united front against the adults who say they know better. it’s a moment that shows they’re both growing up—doing the right thing when it’s hard and developing the free will the magisterium seeks to deny everyone.

roger is absolutely the emotional force of the plot, but i don’t think show-only fans will get why it’s so important that lyra needs to find him, beyond her guilt over his death. i have a feeling they want to hide that element, but i still don’t love the choice. that being said, dafne’s acting for older!lyra is phenomenal and the separation scene w/ pan is even more painful than it was in the book.

lyra saying she doesn’t want to be extraordinary, like her parents 😭😭 she just wants to be good, and help people. baby daughter you’re doing so well.

i still crave a final scene between lyra and marisa bc we never got the pathos of their last scene in the books. i have a feeling it’ll be similar to the s1 change from lyra and pan’s near-separation showing the trauma of severing to roger and sal. we’ll see tonight!

#his dark materials #hdm #yell.txt

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dmclemblems · 2 years

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like bruh i been compilin’ some stuff for the miklan lore like screenshots and all?

and i just

im so glad i was right and that all my headcanons were true and ended up happening in this game

and it proves to me that miklan was a product of his surroundings and how terrible his family life was

he got disinherited first, and then his dad and step mom fucking sucked and couldn’t get along and according to sylvain weren’t even good parents and sylvain didn’t just say to miklan, he said it in general. nobody was paying attention to either of them and miklan was angry at what happened so he took it out on sylvain BUT MATTHIAS HAD TO GO AND TAKE THE GOLD MEDAL AWARD FOR BEST PARENTING and NOT EVEN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT

like yeah you heard it here folks

HE DIDN’T EVEN DO ANYTHING

UNTIL IT EVENTUALLY GOT SO BAD THAT HE DISOWNED HIM

BRUH U RLY GONNA WAIT UNTIL IT GETS THAT BAD TO DO SOMETHING? YOU COULD’VE EVEN SENT HIM TO LIVE WITH ANOTHER NOBLE TO STRAIGHTEN THE PROBLEM OUT, LIKE, YOU KNOW, THE PROBLEM YOU CAUSED

BUT NOOOO HE’S TOO BUSY FIGHTING WITH HIS WIFE

WHICH MIND YOU LIKE NOT ONLY DID MIKLAN’S BIRTH MOTHER DIE BUT NOW HE’S SEEING HIS DAD MARRY THIS NEW CHICK WHO NOT ONLY ISN’T HIS MOTHER AND IS THE MOTHER OF THE CREST BABY SYLVAIN, BUT THEY JUST FUCKING FIGHT. SO NOW ALL HE SEES IS BAD INFLUENCES IN HIS LIFE THAT SEEM TO CONGRGATE AROUND SYLVAIN’S EXISTENCE

like nah im not saying matthais is the scum of the earth and that he’s the worst man in the whole world bc he’s not and he’s good to his king and his friends and all that

he’s just a horribly pathetic father and should never have been a father no ma’am no sir he cannot parent like this isn’t a gustave situation where he left his family out of guilt but always thought about his family and wrote letters he couldn’t bring himself to send. this isn’t like gustave where he loved his family to pieces but felt like he didn’t deserve them/their love

this is a DUDE WHO JUST AIN’T MEANT TO BE A PARENT

AND MIKLAN NEEDED SOMEONE TO STEER HIM IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION AND DIMITRI FUCKIN’ DID THAT HE FUCKIN’ DID THAT Y’ALL DIMITRI SAVED A MAN FROM CONTINUING TO LIVE THE LIFE HE HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO LIVE

AND HE HAD NO CHOICE BECAUSE HE WAS DISOWNED AND KICKED OUT BECAUSE HE DID BAD THINGS BECAUSE NOBODY TAUGHT HIM ANY BETTER OR PAID ANY ATTENTION TO HIM AND PEOPLE JUST DIDN’T CARE ABOUT HIM

MIKLAN IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SURROUND SOMEONE IN A TRASH ENVIROMENT AND THEN KICK THEM OUT TO LIVE IN THE TRASH

BUT THEN, HE’S STILL A PERSON, HE’S STILL A HUMAN BEING AND IF YOU INVOLVE ONE WHOLE SINGULAR DIMITRI IT FIXES A WHOLE LOTTA SHIT AND DIMTIRI CAN TURN LIVES AROUND AND MAKE THINGS OKAY FOR PEOPLE WHO OTHERWISE HAD NOTHING

what im saying is miklan is a very good character and not only is he someone who grew up poorly because he was raised poorly (if really even raised at all after his mother died since we don’t know if his mother was good to him or not but either way he lost her so it would still be a huge blow to how he’d turn out, bc either she wasn’t there for him either or she was and he lost the only good thing he ever had), but he’s someone who could be saved and turned to a better path if someone just F U C K I N G C A R E D.

someone who wasn’t sylvain tho bc sylvain’s existence is what caused all his problems and for a kid who wasn’t taught any better i mean obviously he’s gonna look at sylvain and be like it’s his fault all this happened like nah it’s your dad and step mom’s fault this all happened to you and they don’t deserve to be parents and i rly wish you and sylvain had been adopted into another family bc your lives both sucked

but also it’s very good of sylvain to give him another chance and still want to get along with him

psa don’t let me talk abt miklan bc this is what happens and i’ve bottled this up for three years and now bc of three hopes well i may as well just let it go boom

#Three Houses #Three Hopes #Three Hopes Spoilers #Miklan #so yeah this is a thing and this is what happens when i rly wanna talk abt a character but like #ppl legit hated him for a while and i even heard there was this one roleplay group that existed once #that they literally banned him as a character which i mean that's just stupid anyway bc u gotta have chars who #bring some kinda conflict like wtf is point if everything is just peachy in a roleplay group #but for real people legit hated him that it would've been harder to defend him than it has been for gilbert!!!!!!!!!

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