#and the film did not capture the narrative’s feeling for me

[fullcolorfright]

The Great White Silence (1924)

#the great white silence #robert falcon scott #polar exploration #my screencaps #documentary film #1920s films #unlike South 1919 I read accounts of the expedition before watching this #(specifically cherry-garrard’s Worst Journey in the World) #and the film did not capture the narrative’s feeling for me #obviously you can’t compress 600 pages into a single film #but the goofy 20s intertitles in the first half of this felt so morbid knowing what would happen to scott #polar

[katiexpunk]

The Art of Noticing | Pairing Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Summary:  In the hushed corners of this desolate world, where whispers of yesteryears linger among crumbling ruins, you find a peculiar kind of peace; just like you did when you fell asleep in the darkroom for the first time. Still armed with your camera, even in this new world, you try to keep your heart attuned to the silent narratives of a forsaken universe. You used to think this was your strong suit; to be able to immortalize the unnoticed, to preserve the beauty around you, even in a world of darkness. That was until it almost got you killed. And Joel Miller hates you for it.  Rating: 18+ Minors DNI Word count: ~6.1K Warnings: This one is full on corn with plot; plus lots of emotions. No specific age gap mentioned. References to loss, grief, death and sadness. Reader almost gets her throat slit, until Joel saves the day. I mean, canon-typical violence. Joel is an asshole in the beginning. Angst. Enemies to lovers. Lots of hatred towards a bird lol. Lots of film/photography references. Ellie is a gem, as per usual. Size kink. Reference to a gun/knife. Alcohol. Use of pet names (darlin', baby, good girl, sweetheart, etc.). Unprotected P in V. Oral (M and F receiving). There's a titty fuck. Grinding/dry humping. Fingering. Nipple play. There are no physical descriptions of the reader except that she has hair long enough to whip over her shoulder. Please let me know if I missed anything. A/N: This one has been in my WIPs for months. It started off as an entirely different story, but after going through and re-reading what I originally wrote, I hated it. I have all the feels about this one. Special thank you to @sydneyinacoma for being my emotional sexy support blanket and holding my balls on this one, as per usual. And to @papipascalispunk for originally editing the first version of this story, although it looks totally different now. Iris, you're a gem. Thanks for believing in me even before I did. I hope I make you proud with this one. Masterlist | Read on AO3

Tumbling at the edge Of disaster,  This is how I lived. Oh see how the chrysanthemums  Are dry now, Yet still beautiful.  ~ Noelle Kocot

In the hushed corners of this desolate world, where whispers of yesteryears linger among crumbling ruins, you find a peculiar kind of peace; just like you did when you fell asleep in the darkroom for the first time. Your mother had always told you there was beauty in capturing the poetry in the often-ignored details, and she made sure you were given the tools you needed to do so. She was kind like that. Sometimes it's as if her presence still lingers vividly in your viewfinder, her radiant smile eternally illuminating your memories.

Your film helps you to hold on to the details that no one else is around to remember anymore, details you might one day forget; details like the color of your best friend's eyes, the warm hue of orange of your grandfather’s favorite recliner, and even the nearly lime green color of the fresh green tomatoes from your garden.

In a place where the larger story has faded, you still revel in the tiny tales—the vines reclaiming forgotten streets, sunlight gently embracing relics of the past, and the murmurs of tales etched into the decay. You think about the scratches carved into the dining room table of your childhood home and often wish you could once again find your seat around it. 

But that reality is gone. 

No longer is the girl who liked to swim or play with dolls. No longer is the girl who fought with her sister for stealing clothes from her closet, or her brother for hitting too hard. 

Like many others, she’s gone. They’re gone. 

She was whisked away to make room for the woman you are today; the person you’ve had to become to survive. 

Still armed with your camera, even in this new world, you try to keep your heart attuned to the silent narratives of a forsaken universe. You used to think this was your strong suit; to be able to immortalize the unnoticed, to preserve the beauty around you, even in a world of darkness. 

That was until it almost got you killed. 

And Joel Miller hates you for it. 

++++

Months after your patrol that went wrong, you bump into Joel outside the Tipsy Bison, giving him a cursory glance before turning around. 

The idea of saying sorry crosses your mind, but for whatever reason, you don't. Your kindness, once a vibrant tapestry, is now a threadbare token. Besides, it’s his fault. He shouldn’t have been standing so close to the doorway. If anything, he should be apologizing to you.

You’re in a rather grumpy mood this evening, having wasted the last of your film only to overexpose the prints earlier in the day. Every single one – ruined. Sure, before the outbreak, this might not have bothered you as much, but now, finding film is like striking gold, and your stash is dwindling at an alarming rate. The frustration hangs over your head like a cloudy day. All you want to do is go home and sulk – forget about the mistake – at least if you were at home crying over your photographs, you wouldn’t be subject to prying eyes. 

“Watch it,” Joel says, voice low and even, a sharp hint of annoyance behind his tone. 

You stop in your tracks. You know you should walk away from this. But your temper is already on edge, sensitivity on hyperdrive, and something about the sneer of Joel’s voice gets under your skin. You spin around in a huff and toss your hair with annoyance. “Maybe next time don’t block the door,” you bark.

Joel retorts, red-hot at your audacity. “‘Scuse me? Wanna run that by me again, sweetheart?

The pet name is patronizing; you’re a real stick in his craw. 

"You heard me," you snap back, punctuating your annoyance by crossing your arms over one another across your chest.

Joel turns around and takes a large stride toward you, closing the gap between your bodies so he’s nearly chest-to-chest with yours, his imposing figure towering over you, and his eyes narrow. “What’s got your panties in a twist tonight, hmm?” Joel asks, voice dripping with sarcasm and void of any genuine concern. 

“You” you say, “you’re always so fucki–” before you can continue your sentence, Joel stops you by placing his large index finger onto your lips to hush you. "You've got one helluva smart mouth, darlin’," he says, voice low, almost menacing. 

You freeze, looking up at him unsure of what to say as he brings his face inches from yours, the scent of whiskey heavy on his breath. The flecks of amber that dance around the edges of his irises catch your attention. As you swallow, your eyes momentarily flicker down to the thin line of his lips. Abruptly, he withdraws his hand, leaving an echo of intensity lingering in the suspended moment.

He isn’t particularly nice, but you have to admit, he is fucking hot. Since his arrival in town, he's been a magnetic force, his somber aura unmistakable to even the most casual of onlookers. A silhouette of brooding intensity, with shoulders that carve the space around him and biceps that speak of strength. His voice, a rasp in the wind, adds another layer to his already large presence. 

“I’ve been told,” you pause. “Just – just get out of my way,” you say firmly, walking away as your shoulders brush against him. 

"What's got your panties in a twist?" you scoff in your best imitation of his voice. You exhale sharply, fully aware of the true reason behind the agitation. You haven’t been fucked in years, and the heat that Joel stirs low in your belly is an incredibly frustrating feeling, knowing you’ll never get to do anything about it. 

God damn infuriating man. 

++++

As you lay in bed that night, you can't help but replay your encounters with Joel, the scenes repeat like an annoying commercial that won't leave your mind. Memories of your patrol with him keep playing on a loop, embedding themselves in your thoughts, refusing to fade away in the darkness of the night. "You could’a been killed," Joel's words still ring in your ears, the weight of his tone and the intensity in his eyes seared into your memory. You remember the sounds  – the bone-crushing crunch and the grim, wet thud as Joel swiftly dealt with the raider who tried to slit your throat for your backpack, all while you were innocently looking through the lens of your camera, attempting to take a picture of a bird on a tree branch. 

“I told you to follow my instructions, to listen, and you almost got killed on my watch – f’what? A picture of a fucking bird?” he said, trying to get you to see his point of view. Of course, you’ve apologized. Profusely, even, but it falls on deaf ears. 

Ever since that moment, Joel hasn’t looked at you the same. You're certain all he sees is a stupid little girl, unable to protect herself. Nothing but a burden. Dead weight on his already sore shoulders. 

Just go to sleep and forget about it, forget about him, you think to yourself, stirring in the scratchy fabric of your sheets. 

As you drift off, you wonder what the bird saw that day. 

++++

With a grunt, Joel manages to kick off his boots in the entryway, and they land with a loud thud against the floor. The worn wooden stairs creak beneath his weight as he ascends the steps, the dim hallway leading to Ellie's room. Pushing the door ajar, he finds her peacefully asleep. A small smile tugs at his lips, grateful to see her warm and safe. 

Retreating to his room, Joel sheds the remnants of the day – his jacket, the weight of exhaustion, and the lingering sensation of your soft lips under his finger. As he settles into bed, the worn mattress groaning beneath him, he remembers the sound of your sweet voice; your puffy, teary eyes looking up at him as you apologized; and the sticky feeling of the blood on his hands from the man who tried to hurt you. 

He wishes he would have pulled you close; and held you in the safe embrace of his arms. 

He’ll never admit it, but he forgave you almost immediately, and it terrifies him more than anything in this new world ever could.

He’s already lost so much, and he’s not sure how much more he can take. 

Surely it’s easier to hate you, rather than admit the truth, rather than lose you. 

“Fuckin’ bird,” he mumbles before drifting off to sleep. 

++++

"Come on, you've gotta be there! It's gonna be a total snooze without you," Ellie pleads, practically begging you to join her at the annual community holiday gathering.

Whereas Joel mostly acts like a grade-A jerk, Ellie is like a breath of fresh air. From the moment you met her, you’ve had a connection  – you taught her the ropes of film exposure, and she's good company in a world where friends are a rare commodity. Despite your initial reluctance, you eventually cave. It’s not really your thing, but it’s a taste of normalcy, or what passes for it in this broken world, that you crave; plus, you convince yourself that you might even get a few good photos out of it. 

Standing alone at the bar, you try to relax. You fiddle with the strap of your camera that rests on the bartop as you reminisce about how before the world turned to shit, you would have been quick to capitalize on an opportunity like this – to meet a nice guy, maybe have a drink or two and then end the night between the sheets. 

You close your eyes and try to recall the last time you were touched, but it’s fruitless. It’s been so long since you’ve felt the gentle caress of a man or anyone for that matter.

You huff your residual irritation at the thought as you notice Joel talking with Tess in the distance. Tess. She’s rather new to town. You’ve only spoken once or twice, but you’ve gathered that she is a formidable woman with a no-nonsense demeanor, but still somehow kind. 

Plus she can hunt, a welcome skill around here. As she converses with Joel, you take the time to drink in the details about her that you hadn’t noticed before. You guess she’s in her mid-40s, her hair is a mousey shade of brown with small shiny threads of gray in the mix, but she wears it well. Her complexion is soft, and her smile is nice. She’s pretty. You try not to color yourself too hard in the various shades of green as you wonder if Joel thinks the same.

“Another,” you signal to the bartender, and he fills your glass with amber liquid. 

Maybe it’s the booze or the thick air from the crowded room causing your brain to go fuzzy, but you find yourself lost living out an alternate reality in your mind – one where Joel doesn’t hate you. One where he calls you a good girl, voice thick like honey, as he fucks you within an inch of your life. 

Ellie’s voice calls you back to reality as she yells your name, signaling you to join her at the other end of the room. Downing the last of your drink, appreciating the subtle warmth it brings to your insides, you carefully place the glass on the bartop, shooting a subtle nod of appreciation to the bartender as you do; you grab your camera and place the strap around your neck. As you navigate the space toward Ellie, your keen awareness catches Joel breaking from his conversation with Tess, his gaze searing into you as you walk past both of them. His face is unreadable, but that doesn’t stop your pulse from quickening under his attention. 

++++

After hours of socializing, all you crave is the comfort of your bed. Exhausted, you stumble out of the building, your balance betraying you on the gravel beneath your feet. Shit. You stand up, brushing off the lingering dirt from your knees, inadvertently smearing a small fleck of blood into your skin in the process. Of course, the one night you decide to wear a dress, the only one you own, you would end up injured. 

“Really don’t have much spatial awareness, do ya, Darlin’?” Joel says, appearing out of the darkness, his dark and husky voice rings in your ears. It comes out a little harsher than he intended. 

You shoot him a glare, half-hoping your eyes could actually launch daggers and finish him off right then and there. "Why do you always have to be such an asshole to me?" you demand, your frustration boiling over. “I’ve already apologized as much as I can, it’s fine if you don’t like me, but you could at least be cordial,” you say, voice defeated.

His mouth opens like he has something to say, but he doesn’t respond. "Right. Screw this, I'm going home,” you sigh as you walk away, thoroughly done with whatever messed-up game of cat and mouse the two of you are playing.

Joel watches you walk away, wishing he dared to go after you. 

++++

Months go by, and despite the shifting atmosphere, as the crisp embrace of autumn gradually succumbs to the biting chill of winter; the air between you and Joel remains unchanged. His indifference is as unyielding as the encroaching winter snow.

“Tommy, please don’t make me go,” you beg. “He doesn’t even like me,” you cry, hoping he’ll have some sort of mercy on you.  

“Sweetheart, he doesn’t like anyone. ‘M sorry, but it’s gotta be you two this time, ” Tommy replies, the sentiment of his voice echoing that there is no other option. 

As you’re packing your backpack, you consider taking your camera but decide against it. Joel’s words pierce through you once more, “you almost got killed on my watch – f’what? A picture of a fucking bird?” You stash it in your dresser drawer, exchange it for a beanie and gloves, and walk out of the room to head to the stables. 

Underneath the dappled morning sunlight filtering through the trees, you tread the familiar path to the barn, a soft crunch of gravel beneath your boots. The earthy scent of hay and the distant sounds of horses create a tranquil backdrop. As you approach the stables, your gaze catches Joel's silhouette – he stands, a rugged figure, in a weathered leather jacket and denim jeans with a knife sheathed at his side and a gun slung casually over his shoulder. 

"Hey," you utter, your voice a gentle cadence, drawing closer to him. His gaze assesses you with a measured scrutiny, and with a subtle nod, he responds in a low murmur, "Ready?" The acknowledgment of your greeting remains absent. 

Once inside the barn, you see the stable attendant readying your ride. 

“‘M sorry, but you two are gonna have to share a horse,” he says, matter of fact. “Good ole bessy here has a lame foot that we gotta take care of before she’s back in commission,” he adds, patting the horse on the side. “And every other horse already has a rider for the day,” he adds. You think you hear Joel groan, but you can’t be sure. 

You give the horse a friendly greeting, running your hand along its sturdy neck, a silent bond of understanding. Climbing onto its back, you settle in comfortably. Joel, without a word, positions himself behind you. The feeling of his thick chest pressed up against your back causes your breathing to hitch in your throat. Your eyes flutter closed as Joel reaches around you to grab the reins and he gently nudges the horse to go. 

The rhythmic clip-clop of hooves on the path fills the air as you and Joel ride in tandem, a shared silence enveloping the space between you. The warmth of your body pressed against him, and the faint scent of your strawberry shampoo mingled with the earthy aroma of the trail, causes Joel to stiffen behind you. He adjusts his hips, subtly pulling them back, so you don’t notice.

You ride like that for what seems like an hour or more, until Joel breaks the silence, "So what’s the deal with the camera,” he asks as the horses continue their steady pace. His question throws you off. Is he being friendly?

“Oh, uh – well, my mom gave it to me when I was a little girl,” you say. Your voice goes an octave higher as you continue, “It’s all I have left of her now. All I have left of anyone, really,” you say. You bring your gloved hand up to wipe away the bead of snot that has gathered at the tip of your nose, sensitive from the cold, as you wait for his response. 

“Hmm,” he adds, sensing the sadness, the grief behind your words; a hard truth almost everyone left alive has had to live. His heart hurts for you, hell, it hurts for him, too. 

“Must be hard, reckon there’s not much worth takin’ a photo of these days,” he says, his head scanning from right to left to look out for any potential threats. 

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” you pause. 

“When I was younger, I used to think the sound of thunder was just the sound of god rearranging the furniture,” you say, slightly angling your head back to look at him, “it’s all about perception, Joel.” 

He peers down at you, a furrow forming on his brow as he considers your words, his eyes tracking down to linger on your lips. Before you can say anything more, your attention flickers upward to the sky, the clear blue sky has been replaced by dark, ominous-looking clouds, and a raindrop falls to your cheek. 

++++

By the time you find shelter, far from the comforts of Jackson, you’re both completely drenched.

“Stay here,” Joel says, hopping off the horse and swinging the rifle over his shoulders into his thick hands. You brush away the beads of water collecting on your lashes as you watch him enter the home to make sure it’s safe. He’s gone for what feels like forever, and after he returns, the rifle is slung over his shoulder again. It’s safe.

“Alright, darlin’ – all clear, let’s get outta this mess,” he says, offering his hand to help you get off the animal. Once steady, he takes the horse by the reins to lead him into the garage for shelter. 

The rain-soaked chill clings to your skin as you and Joel step into the abandoned home, seeking refuge from the biting cold. Droplets cascade from your clothes, leaving a small puddle beneath your feet. The air inside is still, the only sound is the soft creaking of the dilapidated structure, the percussion of the raindrops falling on the roof, and the whip of the wind beating against the siding of the house. 

Without a word, you both start shedding your damp layers, your shivers becoming more pronounced in the cool silence. You stand in the dusty living room, clad in only your bra and underwear, as you hold your arms crossed over your chest partially to warm yourself but also to shield yourself from Joel’s eyes, slightly self-conscious. 

Joel briefly walks off before he returns from the bedroom off the side of the living room, having managed to find an old blanket among the remnants of the forgotten lives of the people who once lived in the home. He holds it open wide to you, an offering, and you turn your body so he can drape it around your shoulders. Once secured, you find a little bit of relief in its thick fibers. 

You turn around to face him, and he stands there, rubbing his hands together in front of him in an attempt to warm himself.

“Joel, you’re freezing,” you say, slightly taking the blanket off of your shoulders as if to offer it to him. “‘M fine, Darlin’ – I’ll be fine, keep it, you need to get warm,” he says, but you see the way his body shakes as he says it, his tender curls plastered to his forehead; weighed down by the water collecting in them. 

At that moment, you witness a fracture in Joel's stoic facade, the rugged exterior showing hairline cracks. The formidable walls he's meticulously built begin to crumble. 

"Joel, seriously, we can share – come here," you insist, extending the blanket open with one arm, inviting him into the cocoon of warmth. The gesture carries an unspoken understanding, a truce. You might hate me, but I don’t hate you. 

Joel hesitates for a second, his eyes tracing over your skin; as if he’s committing the sight of your hard nipples and damp skin to memory. 

At last, he acquiesces, closing the gap between your bodies. His hands encircle your waist, drawing you close as he wraps both arms around you. You respond by wrapping your arms around his neck, and the blanket falls around both of your bodies. With him this close, you notice the subtle scent he carries with him, a touch of rain, a dash of cinnamon, and a hint of sweat. You’re not sure how, but he smells good. 

With a long exhale, he tightens his hold on you, enfolding you against the sturdy warmth of his body. You melt into him, your cheek resting on the soft skin of his chest, and your breathing returns to a steady rhythm. You both pause there, letting the warmth swallow you up; eventually, the goosebumps that once littered both your bodies, begin to fade.  

Your stomach flips as you listen to the subtle pitter patterns of his heart and the rhythmic sounds of his breathing. You had forgotten how good it feels to just be held; to have another body pressed up against yours. You realize Joel must feel the same, your attention flickers to the hard stiffness pushing against your stomach. 

Tilting your face up to meet his, your arms still entwined around his neck, you whisper "Joel," your voice suggestive and questioning at the same time. His name hangs in the charged air.

"Darlin'," he responds in a low murmur, and before you can formulate a response, his lips claim yours in an unexpected yet tender collision. Joel groans and forces his tongue into your mouth. The intensity surges, and he begins to pull you back towards the couch. Joel pauses when the back of his calves meet the edge of the cushions, and he deepens the kiss before sitting back, pulling you with him onto his lap, the blanket falling to the floor leaving you almost bare on top of him. 

The air in the home is still cold, but you don’t care, the adrenaline pulsing through your veins and your red-hot desire for him is more than enough to keep you warm. He’s as hard as a rock under his underwear, and you hum, noting how good his cock feels beneath you. You haven’t seen it yet, but you can tell he’s big. 

 “Are you sure you want this? What about Tess?” you ask, grinding against his erection. Joel grunts as he gropes both of your breasts with his hands, his lips meeting yours once more. 

“Fuck, baby,” Joel mutters, leaning back to look at you. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything more,” he says, his hands leaving your breasts to find your hips, and he pulls you down harder onto his clothed erection. “And Tess and I are just friends,” he adds, “You’re the one I haven’t been able to get outta my head.”

Joel closes his eyes, and his mouth hinges slightly open. It has been a while since you’ve been laid, but god were you glad to see you could still render a man speechless. 

Joel’s long, firm fingers find their way up your back to the clasp of your bra. He begins to unhook it. “Take this off,” he says, and you do as he says, throwing the damp lace onto the floor, leaving yourself completely topless on top of him. 

“God damn, Darlin’ –”, Joel responds to the sight of you. 

“Like what you see?” you say, feeling confident, and less intimated now that Joel is beneath you. Of course, he could overpower you in a matter of seconds, but in this moment, you have the upper hand. You grasp his chin, admiring the feel of the coarse hair on your fingertips, and lean down to kiss him hard. 

His cock throbs against you, and your pussy drips in response. You stay there, kissing him, grinding your clothed cunt into him, enjoying the desperate sounds he makes as you do. His firm body, soft tummy, and compact muscles spur you on. You grin as you trace your hands down his smooth chest, noting the scars -- from what, who, you can only imagine –  until your hands eventually make their way down to the band of his underwear.

Joel stops you, firmly gripping your chin to look at him. He pauses there and then pulls your face towards his, firmly sucking your bottom lip into his mouth with his teeth. “Mmm, Joel,” you mutter, the words leaving your lips fumbled and sloppy. Joel intensely stares into your eyes for a moment, and you stare back, eyes wide in disbelief that this is happening. 

“C’mere,” Joel says, breaking the silence with another kiss, as you rock your hips against him again, the movement sending sparks straight to your core. God, you’re so fucking wet for him – a dripping mess. 

Joel presses his face against your chest and works his way to your pebbled nipple before daring his tongue out to lick it. You push a still slightly damp curl away from his forehead, before clenching his hair in your fist. His breath is almost desperate as he laps at your tender nipples, alternating between sucking and little flicks of his tongue. “Joel,” you moan, pulling his face into your chest.

He growls softly, and sucks at your nipple harder, then rolls the other between his thumb and forefinger. You make a little noise in response. He trails the flat of his tongue up the valley of your breasts and over your exposed throat before kissing it, his hips lifting to you a bit as he does. He can’t wait to be buried inside of you. 

“Up, baby. There’s a bed in the back room,” he says, tapping your thigh. You shimmy off of him, and he rises to full height. It doesn't take long for his lips to find you again. Kissing in a way that’s almost as violent as he is, you walk backward this time, making your way to the bedroom with Joel’s guidance. 

It isn’t much, just skeletal remains of what was once a sanctuary. A duvet rests on the creaky old bed, its once vibrant pattern lost to time and dust. The room is mostly bare apart from the bed and a half-falling apart nightstand. Joel sits down on the bed and you fall to your knees in front of him. Your fingers hook under the elastic of his underwear, and his hips cant up to help you pull the fabric down and off his legs. 

The cock that springs free is thick and long. You’re intimidated only momentarily until the need to feel him overwhelms you. 

You spit into your palm and take his heavy member in your hand, before beginning to jerk him off. You slide your thumb across his swollen and red tip, your other hand gripping the thick, dark coarse hair against the base of him. 

Joel’s eyes roll back into his head at the sensation of him in your soft palms. You bend forward and place his cock in the space between your breasts, you tilt your chin down and open your mouth so a long line of drool dribbles down to the cleft of your chest for lubrication, and then you squeeze the flesh around his length, rubbing up and down the entirety of him. 

“Fuck nghh — that’s, ugh, that’s so good baby,” he grunts, his hands grabbing the nape of your neck. 

And it is good. Almost too good. 

“Darlin’, shit – ah, you gotta stop or I’m gonna come,” he says, his voice low. 

“Maybe I want you to,” you purr, torn between making him coat your tits with come, or letting him fuck you first. 

“No,” he says, voice more firm this time, “Gotta feel that perfect pussy before I do, baby girl,” he says, rising to full height, his arms wrapping under your armpits to bring you up with him. In one swift move, he has you turned and your back hits the mattress while a soft oof escapes your lungs. 

Joel has a hazy, dark look in his eye as he hovers over you. His pupils are blown open wide with lust. You think he might fuck you then, but he looks down and notices that your pussy is still covered by the thin lace of your now-soiled panties. He kisses down your chest, your tummy, and his head eventually finds its place between your thighs. He plants a soft kiss on your mound, and he mutters how sweet he thinks you’re going to taste. 

“Think we oughta find out,” he says, and he hooks his thumbs around the fabric and pulls them off your frame. Within seconds, his soft lips are on your wet folds. 

"Fuck –,” you cry out as he licks a firm stripe up your pussy. Joel moans before making his tongue flat and massaging your clit with it. It’s so fucking good. "Taste so sweet, Darlin’, knew you would," Joel breathes, his breath hot against you. 

He sinks a thick middle finger into you, and your walls clamp around the welcomed intrusion. His finger grazes against the soft spongy spot inside you that feels so good, and he works it in and out of you before adding another finger, twisting and working them both into you with precision. You’re so fucking close. You choke out a moan in response, enjoying the sensation of his long and thick fingers rubbing against your walls as his tongue makes tight circles around your sensitive clit. 

You pull at your nipple with one hand and hold on to the top of his head, his hair entangled between your fingers as you attempt to hold on to him, an anchor to keep you from floating away, and he devours you. 

His fingers thrust faster, his mouth firm on your throbbing bud, and he works to throw you over the cliff of your orgasm. You wail out, and the slurping groans that come from Joel are primal and filthy. 

“Be a good girl for me,” he demands, his words barely audible with his mouth on your puffy lips, “want you to come,” he moans. “Come on pretty girl, I’ve got you – let me taste your sweet release.”  

His dirty talk is all you need. "Yes, oh my god – Yes! Joel, fuck, I'm coming, don’t stop" you cry, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes, your chest hot. Your vision goes white as you release yourself to him. Your back arches and your legs flex; your stomach feels like it’s being sucked into itself, and Joel works you through it, lapping up your come.  

He rises from between your legs, his beard slick with your release, and smiles at you. As satisfied as you are at the moment, he’s the one that looks it. “Kiss me, darlin’,” he says, and his lips find yours. You savor the way it tastes; a hint of tang, but just so. You reach your hand in between your bodies to grab his cock, and he takes the hint. 

“Gonna fuck you now,” he says, lining the entrance of his cock, the tip of it weeping with pre-cum, up against your wet and waiting hole. He presses his hips forward gently, and you begin to relax and flutter around him, feeling the subtle sting of an unfamiliar, yet not unpleasant, stretch. 

“So big, feels so full, Joel,” you cry, “I know, baby. But I know she can handle it,” he coos, pressing impossibly deeper into you, until eventually he’s buried in you to the hilt. Underneath his solid frame, skin to skin, his cock firm inside of you, you feel your skin prickle hot and blood rushes through your ears. He fucks you equisitely, his chest crowding yours, but he bears the brunt of his weight on his forearms so as not to crush you too much. 

He steadies like this for a while, before he eventually pushes himself up and grips the back of your knees. You follow his cue and pull them up, feet flat on the mattress beneath you. He folds them cross-cross onto your chest, obscenely stretching your needy hole around the girth of him. 

You can’t breathe. He’s so big you swear you can feel him in your lungs. His cock drags in and out of you, making you shudder and your toes curl. The way he fucks you is so much – hard, deep, and passionate. 

“You feel so good, Darlin’. Gripping me so fucking good, being such a good girl,” Joel moans. 

“God, don’t stop, ugh I’m so close,” you say, eyes closing. 

“Eyes open, baby. Want you to look at me while you come on my cock,” he says, as he takes your chin in his thumb and forefinger, demanding your attention. 

Something snaps inside you, and your whole body tenses, and then releases in a sweet gush. “Jesus,” his blunt nails dig into the flesh of your hips before his jaw falls slack. With one more thrust, he loses himself, buried deep inside of you, your walls coaxing his balls empty.  “Fuck, baby,” he growls as he empties everything inside you, finishing his climax with a guttural groan. 

Joel pulls out, and you sigh at the loss of being full of him. He bends forward to press a kiss to the top of your head, inhaling sharp breaths, before falling to your side on the mattress. 

You sit up onto your forearms, and a dribble of his release comes out of you. You grin down at him, surveying the damage. Joel’s complexion is pink, and his eyes are closed – he’s successfully been fucked into oblivion. 

“Cmere, darlin’,” he says, eyes still closed, opening one arm open to welcome you into the warmth of his chest. You lay there, once again listening to his heart and the sounds of the rain on the grimy window in the room. You trail your index finger down his sternum. 

“You know, I thought you hated me,” you say, your voice a little sad, but you know you need to get this off your chest. “I know you had to kill that guy because I wasn’t paying attention, and I really am sor–” Joel once again silences your sentence by placing his finger on your lips. 

“Never say sorry to me again, Darlin’,” he says “‘sides, I’m the one who should be apologizin’, I’ve been a real asshole to you,” his voice sincere. “I just – I don’t know what I would ha’ done if I didn’t get to that guy in time, I’d never forgive myself if I lost you and could have prevented it.” His head drops to the pillow and he stares at the ceiling; your head finds it’s place once again the crook of his arm, nuzzled up against his side body for warmth. 

There’s still so much more he wants to say, but he knows that he’ll have the time to do it later. He stares at the rough texture above him for a moment longer, before he quickly gets up, as if to remember something. 

“Be right back,” he says and walks into the other room. He returns with a pack and pulls from it a little black container. “Found this during a raid the other day – thought of you,” he says, handing it to you. You jiggle it up by your ear and smile. 

Film.

Joel Miller may be an asshole.

But he’s an asshole that most definitely doesn’t hate you.

END

Tagging moots and those who showed interest in the preview: @untamedheart81 @darkheartgatita @endlessthxxghts @hotgirlbedtimescenarios @bastardmandennis @dins-riduur-anthe @josephquinnswhore @drunk-and-capable @survivingandenduring @nosesitter @pedroswife69 @morallyinept @milly-louise @toxicanonymity @javiscigarette @planet-marz1 @anavatazes @dugiioh As always, please let me know if you want to be added or removed from my tag lists.xx

#joel miller the last of us #joel miller smut #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller one shot #The last of us #enemies to lovers #pwp fics #pedro pascal character #joel miller #pedrohub #film photography

[phoenixyfriend]

[squints at the MCU] Tony Stark has displayed more ability to weather interrogation and torture than Steve Rogers.

This is "(displayed more)(ability)," not "(displayed)(more ability)," to be clear.

(I know fiction’s depiction of torture is famously propagandafied, but in this case, it’s not about torture for information so much as physical traumas shown on screen.)

(Anyway, have a rant I did on discord the other day.)

It's not really so much about "resisted the urge to hand over information" as "survived a truly harrowing experience and still came out of it trying to do good."

Tony's very first movie involves getting repeatedly drowned while in constant pain from bomb injuries as a civilian contractor, and I… don't think I can remember anything even a little similar with Steve

I don't think he's ever been captured for long before breaking out? All his injuries are in active battle, not torture.

Like... Steve went through something horrible with the ice and losing Bucky, nobody can argue that. But I think it's very telling, sometimes, that movie Steve, especially 2012 movie Steve, is completely unaware of the absolute nightmare that Tony experienced in his solo movies.

I have so many feelings about Tony Stark being the epitome of "guy who was raised and manipulated into being a bad person by someone he trusted, and (after a horrible experience) attempts to be a better person, constantly and consistently, even if he sometimes fucks up in the execution."

And the way that some fics elide his experiences in cleaning up other people's messes (first Obadiah's, then Howard's) and how that doubtlessly compounded his many neuroses from fixing messes that he did actually create himself is just

I have a lot of feelings

And am also feeling a little bitter and salty about how Tony Stark's MCU incarnation reportedly took some inspo from Elon Musk... and a little petty and satisfied about just how drastically we've all be shown that Musk can never live up to the idea of 'billionaire with inherited wealth who actually, without hesitation, risks his own life to save millions' that he tried to use PR to achieve in the media with 'my electric cars are gonna save the world' stunts about things he didn't actually have a hand in inventing

I'm just reading some fics I really enjoyed when I was still in the YA fandom, and there was a reference to a line Steve said in the movies and I started thinking (again) about how frequently fans take lines from Steve or Sam about Tony as gospel, because they haven't seen Tony's movies, and the lines from the star spangled boys are contextually meant to show that they don't know jackshit about Tony or his life, because they are directly contradicted by multiple prior films.

Also like... how often Steve's traumas get explored (in fic) in a way that Tony's just... don't? At most, his issues about Howard get explored, but that's it.

There's this moment in CACW that people take as Accurate and it infuriates me.

Tony Stark: [Back in the cell.] Just look. Because that is the fellow who was supposed to interrogate Barnes. [He shows a holographic image of Doctor Broussard.] Clearly, I made a mistake. Sam, I was wrong. Sam Wilson: That's a first.

Which, like... it's a bad movie. Obviously. But also

That line is immediately followed by Tony revealing that he's here to help the others and is sabotaging the security to make sure Ross can't take advantage, and yet fanfic still uses Sam's quote to promote anti-Tony agendas!

And 'Tony admits he fucked up' is. Like. Listen to me

Tony's first solo movie is fixing Obadiah's machinations. *

His second solo movie is fixing his Dad's fuckup.

His first team movie is fixing Thor's mistakes.

His third solo movie is fixing something that is only tangentially his fault.

It's not until AoU that the fuck-up is really his and his alone (well, not counting Bruce), and even then, even then, a massive portion of the blame is narratively laid at Wanda's feet!

And only then do we get this man, who has spent five movies seeing what happens when people don't take responsibility for their actions, or have anyone riding them to be ethical, who has criticized himself for neither having that oversight nor providing that oversight for people who snuck shit under his nose, that is when we get Tony weighing in on the side of "most countries on the planet are agreeing with this and it's for a reason, please work with me here, maybe we can get some of it rolled back to be less authoritarian and more reasonable."

* and removing himself from the military industrial complex he was raised and groomed to be in, but that's a system and not an individual act or a set 'villain'

Or as @firebirdeternal put it:

I would say that his first solo movie does have a large element of fixing his own mistakes too, it's just that his "mistake" was Trusting the Wrong Person and not taking personal responsibility for how his actions are affecting the world. (Which, he immediately does upon coming back from being captured? "We're going to immediately stop making weapons, because it's making the world worse" and then when Obadiah cuts him out of the company he goes "Oh. Okay no that didn't work, have to personally fix all this then.") and yeah it's just Tony have plenty of reasons to be on the side of "Someone needs to have oversight over this"

IM1 is such a good exploration of someone in privilege saying "this stops now" in a situation where they do have control because they have been confronted with their mistakes in a way that's unavoidable

It's also like, a great example of the fantasy of the Super Hero. Because Tony Stark, the businessman, even with all his wealth and knowledge, isn't able to stop the systemic harm being caused by His Own Company. One person isn't able to do that, even with the best of intentions. It isn't until he becomes something else, something more, a Super Hero, that he's able to make any kind of meaningful change on his own. Like IM1 is just a phenomenal movie. It understood it's subject material so incredibly well.

And people skip it and then take Steve and Sam at their word about Tony's strength of character and moral convictions and I scream.

THIS MAN FLEW A NUKE INTO A WORMHOLE WITH THE FULL EXPECTATION THAT HE WAS GOING TO DIE

Yeah, like, that Jump on the Grenade mentality is something that he and Steve actually literally share.

They both had 'jump on the explosive to save people' moments in their introductory movies.

I find so much more strength and inspiration in stories like Thor and Tony, where they are inherently fuck-ups and were shitty people and they are trying so damn hard to be better, which is more Tony than Thor really, but both of them and their first movies are just. I find that more inspiring than Steve or T'Challa or any other hero who was already a good person and just Became Great.

Tell me about the person who has to struggle to find that moral choice. Tell me about Natasha dragging herself from her oceans of blood and Tony fighting the government over whether they have the rights to use weapons he's created and about Thor having to reckon with his family's power being born of imperialistic ravaging of other cultures.

I want to hear about the people for whom being good is hard and a choice they don't have to make, but then they make it anyway.

Also I stand by "I am Iron Man. [infinity snap]" being the most amazing bookend the MCU could have done and probably the best part of the Endgame.

#Tony Stark #character analysis #phoenix talks #MCU #Iron Man Movies #Iron Man #Avengers #AoU #CACW #AEG #torture mention

[historicity-was-already-taken]

I want to echo all the nice things people have said about your work, and add one more: I appreciate that your blog offers space to mourn the Holocaust. Not the Holocaust as a metaphor, not the Holocaust as a rhetorical invocation, but the Holocaust in and of itself. It provides a sobering kind of relief. When I was a kid learning about the Holocaust, my classes always showed me Life is Beautiful and The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas (UGH) and one teacher insisted that she wanted me to understand "how the Jews kicked Hitler's ass!" Which... no. On so many levels. So I admire how your work holds the dialectical truths of mass tragedy and brave resistance. Your scholarship matters, your mental health matters, and I can't wait to read your book next year!

This message is so lovely I was too verklempt to even answer it last night. Thank you, so much, for taking the time to write and send this.

And yes I totally get what you mean. It's not some, as you put it, rhetorical invocation populated by faceless martyrs, but the very real murders of millions of real, flawed, living, breathing humans. I think the rhetorical version, with its ideologies and hagiographies, is easier to swallow.

I hate most Holocaust movies. At least, American ones. They just want so badly for there to be a happy ending and...the Holocaust doesn't have one. [Unnamed legendary Jewish director] optioned the rights to [book similar in scope to mine which came out in the last 4 years] and I'm not even upset, because I don't enjoy that director's gentile-focused quasi-uplifting attempts to depict said events. Hitler said he was going to destroy the majority of European Jewry, and he did. In the space of 12 years he destroyed civilizations, cultures, and languages spanning 1000+ years; more, if you hold him responsible for the ethnic cleansing of MENA Jewish communities post-1948. Nothing uplifting there.

That's why I think I like weird, post-modern, magical realist approaches to Holocaust fiction [see: my boyfriend recently convinced me to watch Jojo Rabbit and Inglorious Basterds]. Telling any of these stories doesn't fit into Western narrative conventions. So make it weird; have the characters dance to David Bowie; make it a Western with subtitles; make the audience wonder if magic or just mundane in the specific context of the story. That's, imo, the only way to capture the sheer unreality of these very real events in fiction. I would LOVE a work of magical realist Holocaust fiction that involves the golem of Prague (if it exists omg tell me!) or something similar. Keeping in mind, of course, that I'm neither a film not a literary scholar. Just, as a historian who took one cultural criticism course in undergrad, those feels the most...right.

And oy your teacher. I feel for her; this is a difficult subject to teach. But...the Jews didn't kick Hitler's ass. That's the opposite of what happened. The Warsaw Ghetto Uprising is the most famous instance of organized Jewish resistance to the Holocaust, and those fighters only kicked ass until the Nazis (quickly) realized that they needed reinforcements and flamethrowers because oops these Jews came prepared. And even the fighters themselves knew that they weren't going to "win" anything. They were making a symbolic historical gesture/statement and fully expected to die. To the point that survivors almost uniformly express in their memoirs and testimonies that the ones who died fighting were the only real heroes and they rest of them are nbd, and this isn't something that should be talked about (which, is something that I'm trying to respect in my book! Like the fact that Zivia Lubetkin utterly rejected any attempt to describe her as a hero matters, even though that's how I personally view her).

Anyway I've rambled enough. Thank you again for the message!

[scarletttries]

The Heartthrob on the Silver Screen (Steven Grant Request)

Pairing: Steven Grant (Moon Knight) x F! Reader

Rating: Explicit Smut

Word Count: 2.1k

Author's Note: This is very loosely a combination of my Soft!Dom! Steven fic and "I Can Read You like a History Book", with Steven getting his own back on the reader this time 😊 Thank you to everyone sending me these headcanons, please send more Steven requests/thots anytime 💕

The Heartthrob on the Silver Screen (Steven Grant)

On paper, it might seem somewhat boring to have a reliable schedule of activities with your boyfriend, but the little routine you had going with Steven had grown to mean the world to you. Through each regularly scheduled date you saw him come out of his shell more and more, growing more comfortable hosting you in his cosy apartment than he would have ever thought possible before you came into his life, effortlessly lighting up every dark corner. As his confidence had grown, so had his ability to express himself, finally putting words to his feelings and no longer resisting the urge to take hold of you when the opportunity arose, making you feel like the single most appreciated person in the universe.

Friday night meant movie night for you and Steven, your film choice this week, excitedly rushing to his familiar flat to inflict yet another rom-com upon him. Not that Steven ever complained about your choice of film, happily obliging any request you had for him as long as he spent the evening with you in his arms. But you could tell the films you chose hadn't exactly captured his attention in the past, unaware that having you so close ensured nothing in this world could draw Steven's focus away.

Tonight as you settled into your rightful spot next to him, Steven spreading his legs to allow you rest between them, your back pressed to his chest, bum nestled tightly between his thighs, he watched as you became enthralled in this week's narrative, his attention solely on you. Steven loved having you in such close proximity, the scent of your shampoo filling his nostrils as he nestled his face into your neck, feeling your muscles tense and relax as the drama began to unfold, each shift of your body weight rubbing against him in a way that drove him slowly insane as he worked up the nerve to touch you back.

As Steven watched your every move, this evening's choice of film descended into a particularly steamy scene between the leads, and while what played out on screen didn't catch his attention, your reaction certainly did. If he hadn't been observing you with quite so much devotion he might have missed the small clench of your thighs, rubbing together slightly as a blush flushed into your cheeks. Thoroughly entranced by the slight adjustment, Steven's mind flooded with possibilities, determined to make this movie one of your favourites by the end of the night.

He could hear the slight catch of your breath as his large, warm hand settled on the top of your thigh, the other arm coiling slowly over your waist to ensure you stayed put while he had his fun. You could feel the familiar tingle of excitement stirring in your stomach as Steven squeezed the soft flesh of your leg, gently easing it away from the other to ensure his hand could reach everywhere he wanted to. It was almost embarrassing how quickly you could feel yourself getting worked up, the feeling of Steven's strong grip taking hold of you enough to send your heart racing as his fingers danced in soft circles over your skin. Each faintly traced line allowed his hand to drift a little higher, thanking every deity he believed in for the pretty skirt you'd come over in that night.

"Are you enjoying the film love?" He whispered softly in your ear as his fingers grazed the edge of your underwear, feeling you tense against his hold as you nodded your head. "Did you think I wouldn't notice you rubbing those cute little thighs together? I notice everything about you sweetheart." He breathed, fingers brushing over the soft fabric of your panties with just enough pressure to send a spark of pleasure coursing through you. His arm gripped your waist tighter as he began to rub smooth strokes through the fabric over your clit, watching your head fall back against his shoulder at the relief of his touch. He kissed your face gently with a bow of his head, drinking in the content look on your face as his fingers began to move a little faster, finding a steady pace that had you sighing his name softly into the air. He kept his touch soft and sensual, teasing your clit with the exceptional friction of the fabric, slick starting to spread so the tips of his fingers felt even more sublime over your sensitive bud. Steven ignored the aching need growing in sweatpants as he felt your stomach begin to tighten under his arm, his grip keeping you pressed tightly against where he craved you most as he heard a small whine fall from your lips as you reached the crest of your pleasure, riding out the wave to his perfect touches, your chest rising and falling in a way that left Steven wanting more.

As the bliss of cumming began to subside, you tried to turn around, ready to feel more of Steven and return the favour as he sweet touches. Instead his arm around you kept you fixed in place, his voice lower, darker as he spoke again,

"Where are you going darling, there's still so much of the film left." His ankles hooked over yours, keeping your legs in place as his fingers dipped inside the sticky fabric of your underwear, humming happily at the wet mess he found inside.

"Mmm, you're so wet love, is that for the film or for me?" He teased, tilting his shoulder slightly to cast your gaze back to the screen, the characters once again locked in an amorous embrace.

"All for you Steven." You managed to moan out, his thumb starting a new assault on your clit, rubbing rapid circles through the glossy slick, the sensation making you jolt against him.

"Thank you love, you really are such a good girl for me." He purred, eyes flicking between your squirming hips and twisting face. You could feel the moans pouring out of you as he rubbed over your slit, his fingers exploring your entrance without ever dipping inside enough to give you satisfaction where the greatest ache was building.

"Fuck, Steven." You let out with a gasp as his hand on your waist began to drift upwards under your sweater, feather light touches grazing over your nipples, the new sensation overwhelming in the current of pleasure already washing over you.

"Maybe later love, I've gotta get you all warmed up first haven't I?" He chuckled sweetly in your ear, watching your thighs start to tremble of their own accord, body trying to escape the overstimulation and at the same time desperate to feel him plunge deep inside you.

"Please Steven, I'm ready, I need your cock." You begged, trying not to succumb to the next orgasm rapidly building in your centre until you had Steven inside you.

"Needy girl." Steven teased at your desperation, pinching your nipple slightly between his fingers and basking in the way your body jolted towards him, "How about this? You keep watching the film, and when I feel you start to clench around this," He slipped one soaked finger into your hole, rubbing your walls in time with his thumbs steady rhythm, "I'll know you're ready for my cock." He kissed your forehead before nodding back to the screen, watching as you fought to keep your eyes open, breathy moans drowning out the dialogue so just the characters carefully directed intimacy was left on screen. Even with him limbs restricting your movements, Steven could feel your hips squirming against his throbbing manhood as you started to come unravelled again, this time louder and messier than before. The gentle shapes traced over your nipples had your back arching into his touch as you felt yourself clench down around his one unsatisfactory digit, his unrelenting attention to your clit leaving your pussy aching to be filled by your sweet boyfriend as a fresh wave of wet excitement coated his hand, and your underwear, which he was all too happy to remove for you. Your legs seemed unable to lift themselves as he tugged the soaked panties down your thighs, tucking them in his pocket to ensure there'd be nothing in his way if he wanted to continue this worship of your body later that night, picturing himself running his tongue between your folds just as you thought you were about to drift off to sleep.

Finally freeing himself from the straining fabric of his sweatpants he pulled you up onto his lap, running his length teasingly through your folds, watching you flinch every time his glistening tip hit your throbbing clit,

"Are you sure I shouldn't make you cum a few more times before I give you this?" He asked with the hottest sincerity as he tapped your clit again, your pleasure meaning far more to Steven that his own.

"I need you inside me Steven, please." You cried, shifting desperately in his lap, trying to line him up with your entrance, aching for relief.

"So good for me." He groaned proudly as he finally thrust himself inside you, filling you up completely and making your whole body shake as your aching core started to get the friction it craved. "You have to hold still love." He teased as he pulled your back against his chest, one hand still latched to your chest, keeping you still as he bent his knees and use his new found leverage to buck his hips up into you harshly. Words were beyond your grasp as Steven sang out your praises, each buck of his hips punctuated with a verbal token of affection, matched by a brush of your nipple and a graze of your clit. Your whole body felt alive with pleasure, every wave of sensation making you melt against Steven's touch, helpless to hold back as the pressure inside you started to build again.

"You feel so good love, so perfect for me. Like I was made to be inside you. Every bit of you so perfect for me to play with," His fingers giving your clit a moment of respite from his strumming as he moved his hand to your ass cheek, giving it a firm squeeze before letting his fingers explore it's curves, "I bet if we got you excited enough, you'd let me in here too," He breathed excitedly, own hips bucking erratically at the thought as his slick finger traced the tight ring of muscle no-one had ever touched before.

"Steven!" You cried out almost painfully overwhelmed, every part of you alight from the gentle touch, unsure if you wanted him to give you a break, or never stop at all. His fingertip brushed the clenched hole again, watching you struggle against his grip before his hand settled back between your thighs, gathering up the drips he'd drawn from you there before returning to your clit with renewed attention. His fingers worked flat, broad strokes over you, rhythm as unrelenting as the bouncing ruts of his hips as fought to groan out,

"We'll save that for another night, for now I want one more, for me (y/n), let me feel you cum on my cock, let me hear how good you are." Your every muscle in your body seemed to shake at once as you came again, the clench of your walls making you feel even tighter around Steven, your name filling the air as his own release filled you, another intense wave of pleasure you rode out before crashing back to earth, all but collapsing in Steven's arms.

"You're amazing love." He sighed out happily, softly kissing the top of your head, not yet willing to remove his hands for you body as he eased himself out of you.

"You're amazing Steven." You half-moaned, every cells of your body still tingling as you tried to take your first steady breath in what felt like hours. Steven watched as your chest danced against his hand, noticing the slight trickle of his cum emerging between your legs.

"You know, we might have to start the film again. I've not been able to follow any of it." Steven joked, his laugh shaded with a dark edge, your stomach tightening again as his fingers finally withdrew from your clit, only to settle slightly lower, his middle finger pushing inside you, slowly fucking his own cum back where he felt it belonged.

Some people might find a schedule of dates with Steven boring, but you certainly never did.

#writing #fanfiction #one shot #requests #steven grant imagine #steven grant x reader #steven grant imagines #steven grant smut #steven grant headcanons #steven grant #moon knight headcanon #moon knight x reader #moon knight imagines #moon knight smut #moon knight imagine #moon knight

[dreamweaversfavsandthoughs]

Rick and Morty Season 7 Episode 1 Favs and Thoughts

(and maybe a small rant)

Rick and Morty season 7 has officially begun and this is the first time on this blog I plan on sharing some of my favs (and maybe some not favs) and my thoughts about each episode.

This will NOT be spoiler-free so turn back now if you haven’t watched the episode yet. If you have watched the episode or don’t care if you run across spoilers then please proceed.

My Favs:

The new voice actors!

Ian Cardoni and Harry Belden as Rick and Morty, respectively. I thought the actors did an amazing job at capturing the characters, even though we didn’t hear much from Belden this episode. I was looking them up on IMDB and some of their previous work included being an announcer for Wrestlemania, acting in a really crappy looking Disney Channel Christmas movie, and one of the better gigs, playing a bit part on Joe Pera Talks With You. And now they’re the stars of Rick and Morty. Talk about a big break.

Morty’ s snarky coffee comment and Rick’s sarcasm.

Morty is becoming more like his grandfather every season because that comment feels like something Rick would say. Also, I feel that in such a small scene the banter between Rick and Morty seems a bit richer with two different actors playing off each other as opposed to just having Roiland do the two voices. Hopefully we get some bigger scenes to really get a chance to hear them together.

BirdDaughter!

Ok. To be honest, I’m a little bummed that she was rescued off screen but I’m not going to let that ruin my enjoyment of the season. So she is home and she is an absolute teenage terror! BP took a dive into the deep end of the parenting pool with that one. Others have made this comment as well but I love her punk rock aesthetic that she’s got going on, ahold over from her days at Femme Fatale Training Camp. I hope Morty never meets her because I think he would be SMITTEN for approximately 10 seconds until she kicked his ass to another dimension (or she might be just as smitten by him and in that case I don’t think the multiverse could handle that relationship).

Ghost Robot

I thought it was really clever joke overall especially when Rick interrupts the download for “Business” so it’s unfinished. Get it huh huh get it. Hope he shows up later in the season.

The gangs all back!

I enjoyed the absolute silliness of Rick’s pitiful attempt at an intervention that turns into a drug and alcohol fueled bender that turns into an attempt to woo Amy back, a fight with Mr. PBH’s ex-wife’s new paramour ( who is a Predator hired to spy on her) and then coming to the realization that Amy has moved on and her and Poopy Jr. are in a much happier place, and because of that, Mr. PBH (or Wayne) can find closure in that and move on too.

The fade out pills and the Best Friend Burrito Box

I was giggling throughout the episode but I did love the fade out pill gag and Rick fading back in to explain the pill and give one to Mr. PBH then fading back out again. Also, I was so sad for Gene to get his Best Friend Burrito Box taken away! He wasn’t lying! He did have friends they just faded out without him.

My Not Favs:

Hugh Jackman.

I love the actor and this by no means pulled me out of the episode or ruined my enjoyment but I think the episode would have been stronger without him. Or, at least, have him actually secretly been a real wolverine. Not the superhero, Wolverine, but a wolverine that disguised himself as a human.

My Thoughts

(and my rant):

I think online discourse around film, television, and media has destroyed the ability to enjoy something that is just meant to be simple and silly and fun. If an episode of a season is not “mind-blowing” or “moves the narrative forward” it is immediately the worse thing ever. Was this the best episode of Rick and Morty? No. Was it the worse? No. Was it mind-blowing? No, but most Rick and Morty episodes aren’t and I realize I just said something sacrilegious. Was it deeply philosophical? Again no, but most Rick and Morty episodes aren’t. Again I’m being blasphemous in some circles of the fandom. Was it funny? I thought so but your mileage may vary.

Overall, I found it on the same level of episodes like the one were Morty impregnates a sex bot, 2nd interdimensional cable, Tiny Rick, or the dinosaur episode from last season. So I was really surprised at such a strong negative reaction to an episode that I thought was perfectly fine. I feel that the reaction was completely unwarranted and out of proportion with the episode we got. I’ll caveat it with most of the negative reaction being on Reddit ( which I realize is Reddit and Reddit will do what it will do). A vast majority of critic reviews I read were pretty positive and so has the discourse on Tumblr for the most part. I’m sure some of it is coming from Justin dickriders pissed he face actually consequences for his actions, but not all of it.

I felt the new episode would have fit very comfortably in with season 6 ( which I felt was a great season). Maybe it wasn’t to the level as other premiers but I had fun watching it. I love me a deep lore episode or a mind-bending sci-fi, but I also appreciate an episode that suppose to just be fun and silly and relaxed with a little bit of heart. I enjoy seeing Rick try to help his friend out of a rut and I’m glad there is some closure on Mr. PBH’s arc. And it was good to see the friends reunite. Squanchy’s alive, Birdperson is navigating fatherhood and we got to see a side of Rick we don’t see a lot. And if it’s any consolation to those who absolutely hated the episode, next week’s episode is supposedly a lot stronger.

I think it’s okay to criticize an episode but I did see one Redditor complain that he thought (and I feel comfortable assuming this person was a he) that Rick and Morty was now turning into…a sitcom. I swear I felt my soul leave my body. I wanted to say :

Honey, Dear, Sweetheart

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’VE BEEN WATCHING FOR THE LAST TEN YEARS!

I’m not actually mad I just thought that was hilarious and wanted to share that.

#rick and morty #rick and morty season 7 #rick and morty spoilers #rick sanchez #morty smith #summer smith #jerry smith #beth smith #mr. poopybutthole #birdperson #gearhead

[andy-wm]

I've read and reread your analysis of FACE--applying Freytag's pyramid plot structure--more times than I like to admit. And I keep coming back to this part:

Then we have the surreal, melancholy Dive, drawing us further into this dystopian world. It also uses sound effects to make us feel like we are being pulled through time. Dive is reminiscent of a soundtrack from a video, but it's been separated from its film reel, leaving the listener to guess and imagine the scenes unfolding. It feels like Jimin has come untethered from his reality.

Thanks for making Dive my new obsession. :)

I never thought Dive was just a throwaway addition to add time--like some have suggested--but that it is part of the trajectory of the story. And I love how--just like with every other part of FACE--it is open to interpretation. Is he running towards or away from something? Is he showing how happy he is on stage or how he pulls himself together to be the Jimin everyone expects? Is that the sound of drinking water or something else?

Yes, I like to overthink these things. Sue me.

But your eloquent description here really struck a cord--being pulled through time...untethered from his reality. Coupled with the other-worldly chord sounds, I suddenly thought of The Aquarium by the composer Saint-Saëns. Do you know the one I mean? It gives me that feeling of looking through glass at a secretive world, where everything is mysterious and unsettling.

Anyway, you've given me a new appreciation for Dive, and solidified why it is not only important in recounting Jimin's journey, but perfectly placed on the timeline.

Thank you.

Hey Isaidnothankyou, thanks for your message! One of the aspects of FACE that keeps bringing me back to the album is the narrative.

Like you, I am captured by the role that Dive plays on its own and as part of the album. It tells such a succinct story, it could be an audition piece by a Foley artist.

But knowing that Jimin is behind it, and knowing what an intensely private person he is (like only comparatively recently did we discover he has actual walls and a ceiling in his apartment haha), i am literally stunned into silence at how intimate and revealing this piece is. I love that it has become a favourite for you too, because it is worthy of so much attention 💛

#park jimin #bts jimin #jimin face

[aksually2008]

aksel's guide to relaxing media

A lot of people have asked me to compile a list of my go-to depressing/dooming media, but I feel it would be irresponsible to give you that without an antidote.

Maybe this will be of help to you on an anxious night and instead of smoking a cigarette you'll turn to this or maybe its a nice cozy afternoon and you need something to maintain that feeling.. either way here's stuff that I consume on those days:

Film/TV

Joe Pera Talks You to Sleep

This is something I have recommended to most of my friends at this point and if you ever give me the opportunity I'll probably talk your ear off about this man. I have a very special affinity towards this video, as it randomly found me on a particularly stressful quarantine night and boy am I glad it did.

I'm not gonna talk about it too much further, but if you're feeling a little bit lost or anxious, even after my 250 watches of this, I end up feeling a little bit better. If you like it make sure to check out his show, Joe Pera Talks With You on hbomax as it's one of my favourite shows ever!! The episodes are short and easy to digest :)

How to With John Wilson

It's hard for me to exactly describe this show, it's just one of those things you have to see for yourself to fully understand the appeal of it. For the most part, this show uses street footage of New York City and interviews with average everyday New Yorkers to convey some kind of narrative, usually disguised as a tutorial(hence the "how to"). There's a lot of absurdity, laughter and sometimes it plays with your emotions a bit, but sometimes it's nice to just unwind and learn about the insane industry of scaffolding in NYC.

Come and Visit Us Again

Okay, so this is probably one of the most niche things here.. Considering that it has 205 views as of me writing this and it's in estonian with no captions available.(Maybe someday I'll translate it)

As far as I can tell, it is a documentary short made by Liis Nimik, who at the time was a film school student. It follows the day-to-day of a village grocery store cashier and her interactions with the people who visit her store everyday.

Moms, dads, scary little kids and village bums.. It has it all and serves as this kind of a sweet time capsule of one particular week in this one Estonian village. I will admit this is probably extra comforting for me as I grew up near a village similar to this that also had a store just like this one. In a small village, the people who work at the local grocery store really become apart of your everyday life and I loved to see it captured like this.

I feel like even if you don't understand Estonian, it's nice background noise.

Malcom in the Middle

Need I say more?

Youtube

If you know me, you know I'm a fiend for comforting youtube personalities. Here are some of my favorites:

Steve Wallis

Even if you aren't particularly interested in camping, you'll still probably enjoy these videos. Steve is probably one of the sweetest dudes I've found on YouTube and he really knows how to keep a conversation. All in all, just nice to throw on if you just wanna disconnect for 30 minutes

Shirley Curry

I've loved Shirley's stuff for years now. She calls her viewers her grandkids and posts vlogs & let's plays. I think that covers the gist of it.

Featureman a.k.a. Tom Willett

This is an older gentleman, who for the most part shows you different meals that he makes & tells you stories about his time as an actor in the 1980s. Every video feels like you're visiting your grandpa.

GIFGAS

I found them quite recently, but they're quickly turning into my favourite Youtube channel. Videos of trainhopping, which are so well shot and the music choices are soooooo gooooood. Every travel vlog should have a mandatory requirement of at least (1) shoegaze song.

Roger Hance

Found this guy randomly on my recommended and him only having 4k subs feels like a crime. He's a bird photographer, who vlogs his outings and talks about all the little birds he sees. super cute.

Music

Below are a couple of playlists and tracks I recommend for this occasion:

Mixture of ambient tracks and just relaxing instrumentals. There's no vocals. During the summer, I would always listen to this if I was sitting in a park or doodling.

This is just some of my favourite ambient tracks. If you've never really listened to ambient music before, check this out I guarantee you'll like it.

I have fallen asleep to this so many times that sometimes i just constantly hear it in the back of my head. Maybe thats not a comforting thought but it helps me sleep so that's a price I am willing to pay.

That's about it though.. I didn't include everything, because this is already pretty long and I have to keep some things secret, but I hope you find use in some of this. bye

#comforting #aksually #Youtube #Spotify

[absolutebl]

Old Fashion Cupcake - Courting Your Person with Pancakes

quick pitch

Old Fashion Cupcake 

Japan June 2022 Viki 

9/10

Foundational Romance Tropes? office romance, age gap, employee/boss, food is the love language, coming of age late in life 

This show had me from the moment they broke the egg yolk with the chopsticks in the opening credits for episode one. It’s about a younger man with a long cherished crush on his boss (ten years older and going through a mid life crisis) who decides to save and seduce said man with pancakes. It’s wholesome, comforting, sexy, and a very necessary narrative about still having hope, interests, and openness to affection at any age. It’s coming of age/queerness packaged in a subtle critique of expectations around masculinity and love and loneliness... and it’s beautiful. 

It utilizes hand-held and super close camerawork, long shots, dirty framing, and marvelous acting (stagecraft) from everyone. The directing style it subtle but very precise and tailored dirty framing (AKA lots of objects and other people’s bodies interrupting shots.) 

Notice the frame is only direct and uncluttered when they are eating or being extremely intimate with each other? 

This show manages to make things that shouldn't be sexy so very sexy (like Togawa’s hamster cheeks - boy just wants to gorge himself, and not on food). It's truly art.

But there is so much more going on here.

Japan has a long tradition of using food, both the preparation and consumption, as an allegory for intimacy... ALL KINDS of intimacy (give Tampopo a shot, it’s a remarkable movie). And in this show the discovery of desserts, and the enjoyment of the experience of indulging, is explicitly both sexual seduction and emotional tethering. This is not just an exploration of youth for Nozue it is an exploration of desire and identity.

On the other hand, the want drips off of Togawa at all times, like true starvation. It’s epic levels of pining we are looking at and not just love but pure lust. It’s actually quite remarkable to see this done with Japan’s signature reserve, because the through line of the filming style and food allegory dictates they will simply have to show physical intimacy at soem point. But not of the explicit kind we get in the darker BLs from Japan (although they could easily go there), but of a truly sexualized romantic passionate kind that we don’t normally get from Japan in their softer BLs.

You see, there comes a point, when the food allegory has gone as far as it can, and Nozue recognizes that in episode 3, even as he doesn’t recognize Togawa’s desire. Because for him the desire has been made manifest though the medium of desserts... and now that sensation has been satisfied, he feels like that’s good enough.

But when Nozue shuts down the eating intimacy, Togawa was always destined to break open into into sexual need, just the way the egg yolk is broken open in the credits.

What is truly genius about this show is that when this finally happens at the end of episode 4, the camera switches to one long hand held shot. This kind of stage-craft reliant shooting is the ultimate form of filming intimacy - it is the camera’s form of trust:

The directer is trusting the cameraperson not to waiver,

the camera is trusting the actors to pull through for the entirety of the shot (no forgetting your lines on a long take, no missing your marks, no slipping out of character),

the actors are trusting the crew to capture it in that one moment when they give it their all.

This is the kind of theatrically-based close work is as near to sexual intimacy as actors and crew can get.

Thus the shooting style is, itself, a reflection of Togawa’s needs, of Nozue’s shock and realization and crumbling, of the levels of trust between them that are fracturing and reforming. It’s absolutely brilliant.

All that said I did find the final episode bit of a let down. Narratively it reverted back to pretty standard light Japanese live action yaoi, of the style I talk about here. I did expect a little bit more intimacy from this specific narrative even with Japan at the helm, at least showing the two of them cuddling in bed together or something very domestic if not kissing. I’m not surprised or upset that they returned to status quo, and this is still an amazing comforting unexpected gem of a show, but it’s not the 10/10 I thought it was going to be at the end of 4. 

Still, solid and watchable and 

DEFINITELY RECOMMENDED 

I wrote some more on this show with regards to age gap romance comparing it to Minato’s Laundromat here. 

(source)

#recommended bl #beloved bl #bl review #review bl #old fashion cupcake #pld fashioned cupcake #old fashioned cupcake #japanese bl #live action yaoi #adapted from a manga #TogawaNozue #office romance #japanese drama #quick pitch #bl quick pictch

[iballou]

Famous People Who Love Radiohead

Danielle Radcliffe: I was mainly listening to Radiohead for Harry in this film. Somebody did ask me yesterday if there was one album that could be Harry’s soundtrack during this movie. I think it would be Ok Computer by Radiohead, which I think tells you all you need to know about his character

Matt Smith: That’s it. That’s what I want when I go to the theatre, when I’m in a play, is them, and that experience that I get from them. I admire the musicianship, I admire the soul that goes into it, and the execution and the work, the preparation. Everything is done right, I think, and done with good intention and soul and heart and good spirit. They are a lesson to us all.

Brad Pitt: What was Brad Pitt talking about all the time? You won’t believe me, but no matter what the question was about, he always ended up talking about Radiohead. He seemed to be obsessed with the band and told that during the filming of “The Fight Club” he spent all his time listening to Radiohead, particularly Ok Computer, which is his favorite album. He argued that his movie wasn’t art, that contemporary art was about Thom Yorke because, according to him, the Radiohead´s singer was so important for his generation as Kafka and Beckett... He was completely captured by his devotion for Thom Yorke.

Christopher Nolan: I spent an afternoon talking about movies, memory and fragmented narrative with the 30-year old director at his apartment near the LACMA while he played Radiohead's Kid A on a boom box...Nolan wanted Paranoid Android to play over the credits of Memento, but the rights were too much so instead he uses Treefingers in the film.

Aaron Paul: When I was in London I followed Radiohead around - I went to both their concerts at the O2. Then I took the train to Paris, met up with my friend Vida and saw them at there as well. Seeing Radiohead in Paris is pretty magical.

Edward Norton: I'm friends with the guys in Radiohead, And Johnny Greenwood...And he and Thom (Yorke) had been playing a lot of weird ambient stuff at the time and so, amazingly,

Ellen Page: They became my first sincere love in music. Before that, I was jumping on my bed and listening to Aqua.

Elijah Wood: Elijah Wood was starstruck when he met Thom Yorke. The 'Lord of the Rings' star - who owns his own record label - says the most overwhelming moment of his life was he met the Radiohead singer, because he has been such a huge influence on him.

Stephen Colbert: He can’t be influenced by the agendas of politicians and public officials, but if you’re [Radiohead] he will gladly roll over for you.

Woody Harrelson: I’ve really become obsessed with Radiohead. In fact, the other day, there was a concert with Thom Yorke and Flea. So, I went — Flea’s a good buddy of mine. Great show! Phenomenal music. Just incredible, of course!

Tobey Maguire: I really respect them. I've been to a couple of their shows and it's pretty great. They've been really consistent in making great music and I really feel like they are true artists and put all of themselves in their music, so it will be interesting to hang out with them.

#thom yorke #radiohead

[foxes-that-run]

Delicate

"Delicate is really a song about the switching back and forth between feeling confident enough to have somebody like you back and then feeling insecure, deeply deeply insecure, that no one would ever like you back and you go back and forth between that emotion the entire song." - Taylor in the BTS

To me, she is saying Delicate is the insecure side to Slut!'s confidence. The video has several references to Harry Styles.

"The entire video has this overarching narrative of this girl is past a magical note from the person she would love to meet up with later that turns her invisible and she's able to sneak out of this event and go meet up with him all the while being completely invisible."

People, she can't make it clearer who this is about. The man who hands the note is dressed like Harry at the 2013 VMAs when she also wore a navy dress when they were seen texting each other (notes). In the BTS we can see more of him - a dark haired male celebrity (also talking to press) in a patterned suit. I know someone that fits that bill. This post is about Ed’s inspiration for Tenerife sea that same night.

In the BTS (1:10) in the scene where she reads the note she says:

So I am reading the note and I am kind of happy, but then sad because I realise I can't be him.. and you know.

The statues behind Taylor reference Harry's Gucci and Grateful Dead Rings.

And Harry referenced the song title in Little Freak lyrics and video for the As it Was and Daylight videos.

The film clip includes 'Joe's diner' in the street, like Ready for it...? in the Ready for it BTS she isn't sweet when highlights that it's pointed and sassy.

Lyrics

[Intro] This ain't for the best My reputation's never been worse, so You must like me for me We can't make Any promises now, can we, babe? But you can make me a drink

A theme of the album is taking back power from drama. The muse is someone TS sees as there for her. Anti-hero is an interesting continuation of this feeling. It is sad to think that now she has an even higher level of fame this feeling may be harder to grasp.

The line about promises is interesting, by September 2016 Taylor was a single 28 year old who could (and did) make promises to YB. It could refer to prioritising her career over personal life. The promises may be able to make because it refers to the Gorgeous, I did Something Bad & High Infidelity timeline, around April 29, 2016, when HS was launching a solo career and TS was with CH.

[Verse 1] Dive bar on the East Side, where you at? Phone lights up my nightstand in the black Come here, you can meet me in the back Dark jeans and your Nikes, look at you Oh, damn, never seen that color blue Just think of the fun things we could do

In Wish you Would and other 1989 songs Taylor talks about late night texts and meet ups. HS was also in New York a lot and wore skinny dark jeans for what seemed like all of 2016.

To me, "oh damn, never seen that color blue" is referring to the depression she was experiencing. In the MV Taylor wears a deep blue dress, she was in a deep depression and connecting with this muse helped her through. Taylor again refers to blue as depression in many songs throughout her discography.

Sometimes when you sleep at night I wonder if .... Sometimes I look in your eyes and pretend your mine I do it all the time Is it cool that I said all that.... Sometimes I wonder when you sleep are you dreaming of being with me... do you ever dream of me

References to dreaming of each other is a theme in the 1989 songs. In 2016 HS and TS were not together, it seems from other songs of this period they met, which makes sense for the line of pretending they are together all the time, whereas YB was single and could and would be with TS.

[Chorus] Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you're in my head? 'Cause I know that it's delicate (Delicate) Is it cool that I said all that? Is it too soon to do this yet? 'Cause I know that it's delicate

The Chorus perfectly captures having a tentative conversation about one’s desire. A lack of communication is a strong theme in TS/HS songs about each other. The chorus acknowledges that they have a history and being romantic is delicate they have hurt each other before. Other songs that refer to not communicating are Two Ghost’s, Maroon, the 1, satellite, and more.

Many songs from HS and TS describe that they cannot get the other out of their head/move on.

[Verse 2] Third floor on the West Side, me and you Handsome, you're a mansion with a view Do the girls back home touch you like I do? Long night with your hands up in my hair Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs Stay here, honey, I don't wanna share

HS bought an apartment on the 3rd floor on the west side while TS was making Reputation. Taylor’s is on the 5th floor. Joe did not live in New York.

Wildest Dreams has a similar lyric: His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room.

[Bridge] Sometimes, I wonder, when you sleep Are you ever dreaming of me? Sometimes, when I look into your eyes I pretend you're mine all the damn time

A lot of TS's songs about HS refer to dreams:

Blank Space: 'Cause darling, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream

Style: You’ve got that James Dean daydream look in your eye

Wildest Dreams: Say you’ll see me again even if it’s just in your wildest dreams

This Love: In silent screams, in wildest dreams, I never dreamed of this

…Ready For It?: In the middle of the night, in my dreams

Gold Rush: I can’t dare to dream about you anymore

Snow On The Beach: Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful

Hits Different: Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief

But wait there's still more times Taylor has linked Delicate to Harry:

The Era's visuals are Styles

When she introduced it in Dallas on the Reputation Tour she linked it to being called names (like Slut!) perhaps.

And the Vertical Video was released for their anniversary 20 May in 2018, people even commented how random that was as it had been out for ages.

#haylor #reputation #taylor swift #reputation taylor’s version

[unmakingandincorporeality]

Spoilers for Scott Pilgrim takes off

So 13 years ago Scott Pilgrim (the film, and then, much more effectively, the comics) called out a bunch of really shitty traits of mine, and it was the catalyst for a lot of self work and personal growth—it said stuff I needed to hear in a way I was able to listen to, and it means a lot to me for that reason.

It was also really powerful to experience a piece of media that showed a protagonist who is simultaneously pathetic and aspirational. Like, ngl, I saw a lot of who I am and a lot of who I want to be in both Scott and Ramona. It felt good to admire them and aspire to their better qualities, while also wanting them to do better to prove to myself that I could be better, and seeing in their depictions the ways in which some of the things I aspired to be actually sucked and needed rethinking.

(that last bit didn't actually feel good tbh, some of those books made me sick to my stomach and it took a long time before I was ready to read them a second time.)

And the new series has so much more in it that I want to talk about. Like, how the whole vibe of the show captures how being in love and being loved back feels, because it's not just that the other person feels really cool, it's that they make you feel like you're awesome, that they make the whole world feel like an adventure.

But the thing that I'm really dying to talk to someone about right this very second is the last episode, the bit where even older Scott is talking about how he spent ten years like a monk training every day to master all sorts of skills and shit, and even older Ramona is just like "it sounds like you just didn't go outside for ten years"

Because that narrative, of cloistering yourself and doing monklike work every day to perfect your abilities, is so, so common, and it's so, so bullshit. But it's SO FUCKING EASY to use it to justify not getting out of your fucking room, which is something I've absolutely been doing lately.

Anyway. I'm glad a work that I love and that helped me grow a lot came back and immediately punched me in the face with more character flaws I ought to be working on, but still made me feel excited about being the kind of person I am. I think, more than the other versions did, "Takes Off" really nails the important nuance that Scott and Ramona aren't truly aspirational figures, but they also aren't bad guys. They're flawed people who often hurt other people with their emotional cowardice, but they're also genuinely cool and exciting and are worthy of love. That the best case scenario isn't that they stop being Scott Pilgrim or Ramona Flowers, it's that they start being better to the people they care about and who care about them.

Anyway I'm gonna go hide under a rock for fear of judgment from people on the Internet seeing me call Scott Pilgrim (the character) cool

#scott pilgrim #scott pilgram takes off #cbat

[louisupdates]

All Of Those Voices review | Louis Tomlinson documentary will surprise even the cynics among us

WHYNOW

Teddy Coward | 22 Mar 2023

2010 was The X Factor’s peak. Not only did it see the show’s highest average weekly viewing figures, raking in a peak of 19.1 million viewers for its final, but it also involved a list of names that have become embedded in British TV history. Cher Lloyd, Rebecca Ferguson and, of course, Wagner, the barmy Brazilian from outer-Brum; it was a year that seemed to match a genuine degree of talent with a light-heartedness.

And, of course, it brought together five baby-faced teens who would go on to produce not just the show’s most successful act but one of the most popular boy bands this country has ever seen: One Direction.

Yet because, with The X Factor, what was once pop cultural cache has nowadays become merely pub quiz fodder (the show last aired in December 2018), that snobbishness towards 1D still lingers to this day – despite the many awards its leading light, Harry Styles, picks up as a solo artist.

All Of Those Voices, the new documentary from Charlie Lightening (whose prior credits include the award-winning Liam Gallagher: As It Was and The Paul McCartney Project), reminds us that at the heart of the manufactured, Simon Cowell-orchestrated world One Direction once operated in, lie real lads. And one of those young men, Louis Tomlinson, is relatable, honest, and has overcome more than his fair share of struggle under a public spotlight.

The film’s best attribute – and the way it achieves it – is how it’s shot. It’s not so much fly-on-the-wall as it is captured with considerable trust between artist and filmmaker. At one stage toward the end, Louis and his crew joke about the seeming lack of a barrier between each other, and this feels like it was extended to Lightening, too.

As such, Tomlinson is forthright about his sense of having no control over his own (let alone One Direction’s) destiny for at least the first two-and-a-half years of the band. He casts himself as the band’s thinker in a rather shrewd creative light by telling us he’s most proud of being the member with the most songwriting credits.

But another strength of the film is that it doesn’t dwell on Louis’ 1D days. Granted, you can’t tell his story as an artist by ignoring it, but its inclusion merely paints a backdrop of what’s to come, most usefully starting the narrative arc of someone at a loss, personally and creatively, when the band announced their split in late 2015.

From here, Louis begins to build, pensively smoking and staring into empty space like any self-respecting existentialist as he contemplates life as a solo artist. Then, tragedy hits. His mother, Johannah Deakin, with whom he had an exceptionally strong relationship–mainly because of an absent father growing up (which struck a particular nerve with me) – passed away in December 2016 after her battle with leukaemia.

Replays of an X Factor performance Louis gave that very same week, spliced with personal testimony from the present day, remind us of the public gaze he was under during an exceptionally challenging period.

Meanwhile, the tragic death of his sister Félicité in 2018 is discussed in less detail but adds to the image of not just an artist but a man beset by loss, still keeping his head afloat. (A moving discussion with Louis’ grandmother provides insight into the keep-calm-and-carry-on spirit of the whole family).

These make the high points feel all the more gratifying – and there are plenty of those. From the release of his long-awaited debut album Walls in 2020 to his triumphant, Guinness World Record-setting livestream during the pandemic and his subsequent return to a global headline tour, it’s safe to say his artistic trajectory is a pretty sharp incline throughout the film.

But whereas some pop personalities might make that seem like an irksome inevitability, the setbacks Louis Tomlinson faces and, crucially, his authentically affable charm mean you end up rooting for him. Do you have to be a fan of his music? Not at all. Can you still admire the way his personhood is portrayed? Of course. And this film captures that in abundance.

Of course, Louis’ mass of fans will love it. That much is a given. But for a purely personal tale, even the most cynical among us would struggle not to find something from All Of Those Voices. Indeed, we’ve come a long way since the fakery of The X Factor.

#louis press #aotv review #why now #aotvfilm #24 march 2023

[ao3wasntenough]

You know when I see that they give a name samuel James Witwicky as main character name , I though was for like other version of spike Witwicky, and also because sam and James names are common in America and when sam keep exist in film specially in tf2, I just realized that sam is a messenger

I meant he will always just be normal guy but when a crisis starting raise up he the one will lead (not kind lead military and battle things) to the source for Autobots gain victory. I meant let's see he 'find' Allspark, then gained matrix then solve case what sentinal prime hide.

Samuel meaning messenger of god

James meaning leader

I guess bay intended to did that (you are sneaky bay😏)

But honestly I like sam meaning names in arabis stories because he got bigger play not just regular messenger guy

YES! I lowkey always liked Samuel as a name choice and love authors especially like Arabis who take that name and run the mile with its connotations and connections in words and tie it into a larger narrative around his role in the world and destiny.

I think it’s also why it’s hard for me to come up with a cybertron name for Sam? Because I think he’d hate loosing that last connection to humanity and his family, and it takes on a greater emotional importance, the last thing he has given to him by his family after all this time. So even as a bot I think he in denial would throw any excuse why his name could work if it’s explained in a way I think a few authors describe names more poetic, like Janus Prime from Northpeach and wolfsrainrules

Or Paradox Prime by Crazyglitch which so neatly and precisely captures Sams character and personality and journey

When I give bot!Sam a name given to cover he was once human I try and think of it like nicknames the bots around him would give him just by association with all his weird quirky stuff going on but I feel shy about using them cause I have a weird complex about there being people who know more than me that makes anything I do wrong or silly in comparison

#transformers #transformers bayverse #cybertronian sam #sam witwicky #bot!sam

[tafadhali]

festivids recs, part 2

Here with more Festivids recs! There was so much good stuff — I bookmarked fully 1/3 of the collection — but I've narrowed it down to some faves, trying to pick one top choice for fandoms with multiple vids. Here's a very reasonable 25 recs:

The Only Way to See (Amaury Guichon RPF): Did not know I needed a Sondheim vid for the chocolate guy, but I really really did! Such a lovely tribute to creativity.

Le Freak (Barbie): Luv the choice to use disco. Really captured all the fun of the movie and the build to Barbie's existential crisis was A+.

Drink You Sober (Bound): All of the Bound vids were a beautiful bounty. This one is just meltingly sexy.

body (David Cronenberg movies): The platonic essence of a David Cronenberg vid. Repulsive! Attractive! Could not tear my eyes away.

Nothing in My Head (Dropout TV): I am loving ALL the Dropout content (the little question marks in WTFIGO? kill me); this one has terrific timing and is such a great celebration of the ensemble.

Do What I Do (Dungeons & Dragons): All the D&D vids were super fun; Holga's my fave character and I really enjoyed this tribute.

We Can Be Anything (Everything Everywhere All at Once): This song, with its tightrope between nihilism and endless possibility, feels like it was written for this movie.

Anymore (Face/Off): Face/Off vid of my DREAMS. This was made for my sibling and it feels almost like a gift for me too. We were hootin' and hollerin' and both yelled "DOVES!" when there were doves.

if i were a fish (Fire Island): Howie and Noah's friendship was my favorite part of this movie, so love that this focuses on that as much as on the romance. Such a cute song!

Northwest Passage (For All Mankind): If I have one takeaway from FV this year, it's that I need to watch For All Mankind! This space-camp-going due South fan definitely cried a little about this song choice and the epic spacefaring; might be obsessed with Molly just from the two vids I've seen about her.

סיפור הגולם  (The Golem and the Jinni): I haven't read the book yet, but this is a STUNNING example of what you can do with a non-visual source. It's such a love letter to a time and place, too!

How to make a perfect Hanukkah movie... (Hallmark Hanukkah Movies): SO funny. I've only seen one Hallmark Hanukkah movie but you absolutely get the vibe with or without having watched all of them.

I Like That (Janelle Monae RPF): Unapologetically queer and self-loving.

'Til You Hit a Nerve (Knives Out): Great combination of the two films, and the climactic build on "I can't miss" rules.

By Way of Sorrow (Les Mis): I am weak for a Les Mis vid and this one crafts such a wonderful, heartbreaking narrative about all the secret sacrifices and suffering that Cosette's parents went through! Makes me cry like a baby.

Everybody Talks (Much Ado About Nothing): This was a great year for Shakespeare vids. This is my favorite play and I love the combination of all the productions and all the great comedic beats.

No Smoke Without Fire (Poker Face): Cool, funny vid. This song is a TERRIFIC vibe for Poker Face.

Wavin' Flag (Ponyo): All the Ponyo vids were so much fun (and I loved the love for Lisa this year), but this one really warmed my heart.

magnetic (Romeo + Juliet): Super captivating and energetic tribute to Mercutio! Harold Perrineau just killed it in this movie.

Tusk (SIlence of the Lambs): Amazing character study of goddamn hero Clarice Starling.

A Better Son & Waiting for Somebody (Sports Night): Okay, I cheated! You think I'm going to pick one vid about love of my life Dan Rydell?

Ángel (Tár): A precise and chilling vid about my favorite film of 2022. The accent on the vid title is the perfect coup de grace!

Blood in the Cut (Taskmaster RPF): Yessssss weird Alex Horne vids.

King (The Woman King): Was so hoping for vids to this source and this one is just a blast. Great song choice.

#vid recs #festivids

[sycsubs]

[ENG TRANS] SOOYOUNG ON MARIE CLAIRE JUNE 2023

Q. You went to Paris last April for this photo shoot, right? What memories do you have from the days you spent there?

Sooyoung: I’ve had a few chances to go to Paris during my activities, but with the opportunity brought by this pictorial, I was able to visit (Paris) again after a long time and stayed for about four days. Perhaps it’s because I’m lucky when it comes to the weather (laughs), but the sky was so clear and the sun was shining beautifully too on the day of the shoot. Thanks to that, I had fun working and I also enjoyed the atmosphere on the site during my spare time. After working, I went to Switzerland to travel with my mom and sister.

Q. Some moments you experience on a trip can give you inspiration in life for the future. Did you feel anything new while traveling to Switzerland?

Sooyoung: I realized that experience is important. I went to Matterhorn and faced the snowy mountains for the first time in my life, and I was overwhelmed by the magnificent beauty of mother nature. I personally prefer trips in the city, but I want to go backpacking and enjoy nature. Another new experience was paragliding. Before I jumped down, admiration of the scenery and fear crossed my mind. But when I returned to the ground, I was like, ‘Do birds feel this way?’ it was strange, something I’ve never felt in my entire life. It was a trip that made me determined to actively try out things that I haven’t done before.

Q. Coming back after your trip, the drama <NamNam> is about to be released. It is based on a webtoon of the same name which depicts the story of Hopeless Mother ‘Eunmi’ (Jeon Jyejin) and Cool Daughter ‘Jinhee’ (Choi Sooyoung). I think it would have been necessary to have a process of adding new interpretation while still reflecting the original version.

Sooyoung: Jinhee’s job in the webtoon and drama are different. The Jinhee that appears in a drama is a police officer, and we thought that a neat short hair would look good so I didn’t dye my hair red like Jinhee in the webtoon. It was a choice made to bring out Jinhee’s personality in the drama, different from the webtoon. In terms of the development of the drama, there is also an episode wherein Jinhee is only a police officer. I referred to the tone and disposition in order to preserve the unique fun of the original version, but I focused more on the character in the drama itself that I had to express.

Q. How do you feel about waiting for the first episode which airs on July 17th?

Sooyoung: I’m the type to clear my mind once the filming is over and it goes out of my hands, but I’m hoping <NamNam> will do well. I hope this drama becomes a meaningful work for the viewers. Recently, there have been a lot of works that make female protagonists stand out such as <Queen Maker>, <Kill Boksoon>, <Work Later, Drink Now> and there are various genres as well. I hope that <NamNam> which captures the daily life of Eunmi and Jinhee, will also receive a lot of attention, and further help more female narratives to appear.

Q. A lot of people are looking forward to the kind of chemistry that you will show together with Actress Jeon Hyejin who plays the role of Eunmi.

Sooyoung: I like Jeon Hyejin sunbaenim so much. Just the fact that I’m participating in a project with Hyejin unnie makes me feel like I became a ‘successful fan’, and appearing with unnie as mother and daughter makes it an even more special opportunity. I thought that I have to be in harmony with Hyejin unnie in order to act to my heart’s content with her. (laugh) I was at a drinking party with unnie recently, and she said “I’m so happy that I got to act with Sooyoung”. Hearing her say those words made me feel relieved and touched.

Q. I’m getting curious about the chemistry that both actresses will show.

Sooyoung: It might feel strange at first. The relationship between Eunmi, who raised her daughter alone as a single mother, and Jinhee, who treats her mother like a friend, it’s not something common around us. <NamNam> is a work that tells us that there are also mother-and-daughter like this in the world. I think the charm of this drama is seeing Eunmi and Jinhee quarreling and living with complex emotions which are a combination of love, resentment, and respect.

Q. After wrapping up the filming for <NamNam>, you posted on SNS saying ‘Jinhee-ya, thank you for coming to me’. What were you feeling when you wrote those words?

Sooyoung: I was thinking that I wanted to tell a story about a mother through my work. I was lucky to be able to express and act out the emotions that Jinhee feels while looking at Eunmi. It was a point that I wanted to act out someday.

Q. It seems like a work that makes you think about the relationship between a mother and daughter. It may be the most intimate relationship, but like the drama says, they are also like ‘Strangers’ right?

Sooyoung: That’s right. I started living alone in the latter half of my 20s and I was so afraid that my mom might completely disappear from my life. When we met each other again after silently holding out and spending time separately, I was able to truly love my mom. When I was young, my mom cared for me and kept me safe, but now I feel like I should be the one to protect her. I want to know if anything hurts, and I want to show her a lot of good things. We also traveled to Switzerland because my mom often showed me photos of that place while saying, “If heaven exists, is it a place like this?”. I was glad that my mom liked that trip.

Q. Everyone, including mother and daughter, are fundamentally strangers, but there’s also a saying that ‘Only others save us’. Sooyoung, you also have moments where you feel the preciousness of other people, right?

Sooyoung: Of course. There are people who cross the line that I drew in an affectionate manner. They remember the food I enjoyed, or they suddenly give me something pretty as gifts. When someone is willing to give something for me like this, I realize that I have the power to exchange with others. I also want to convey this kind of emotion to the people around me.

Q. I had this thought when I heard that you and Yuri participated as flight volunteers for abandoned dogs on your trip to Los Angeles not long ago.. Sooyoung’s kindness reaches not only people but also animals.

Sooyoung: I heard that there are a lot of abandoned dogs waiting for help from volunteers. I thought that sending many more abandoned dogs to places where there are people waiting for them through planes that fly every day would ease their pain even just a little bit. Even if it's not often, I look into flight volunteer information when I go to places like the US. It was Yuri’s first time being a flight volunteer, and she thanked me for giving her the opportunity to help the dogs. I was also grateful that Yuri was able to feel those emotions and expressed them in words.

Q. It’s not easy to keep a relationship going for more than 15 years, but Girls’ Generation members have already spent that much time together. Not to mention in the closest way. It’s a relationship that started through work, but now, you have become very important people in each other’s lives.

Sooyoung: “When I went to Los Angeles with Yuri and Tiffany this time, every process went smoothly. It was very comfortable because we are used to honestly voicing out if we’re upset about something as well as yielding to each other fairly. We’ve been together for a long time so we know each other well, but I think it’s a blessing that I have friends beside me with whom we still have a lot to talk about whenever we meet. It felt as if we were being compensated for the days we lived intensely together.

Q. Girls’ Generation members, who received a huge amount of love right after debut, are now continuing activities in their respective places. Sooyoung is also solidifying her position as an actress.

Sooyoung: “I used to be shy about saying ‘I’m actress Choi Sooyoung’. Looking back now, I think I had a similar mindset to ‘Forky’ in <Toy Story> who didn’t think of himself as a toy. I was conscious of the prejudiced view about idol-turned-actor and obsessed over a kind of inferiority complex. But now, I have come a long way from such thoughts. I felt a great thirst for this freedom. I hope I can gain a lot more experience and show various faces as an actor using the freedom that I finally found.

Q. Are there more things you want to achieve in the future?

Sooyoung: “I’ve been ambitious/greedy lately. I talked to Yuri and Tiffany about it and they said, ‘It’s my first time hearing such words come out from Sooyoung’s mouth.’ (laughs) I don’t have a specific goal, but I do want to be loved more.”

Q. What is the fundamental reason behind such thoughts?

Sooyoung: “If you were to compare a person to a jar, my jar is filled with water very shallowly. If the amount of water is this little, it’s not an easy thing to share it with someone. I don’t think I’m that big of a person to an extent that I’d share what I have until the very last drop. That’s why I should fill myself up even more. It would be nice if I get filled to the point it overflows so that I can share even more.”

Q. So it’s being filled to be able to share.

Sooyoung: “There are a lot of people around me whom I’m grateful for and they tell me, “Even if you don’t pay me back, I will fill you up.” I wish to become that kind of person too. I want to be more relaxed so that I can give more. Then I will be able to deliver greater love to the people I cherish.”

#sooyoung #girlsgeneration #snsd #choi sooyoung #snsd sooyoung #marie claire