#and that made me cry because it felt like dazai telling me to live. and i want to. but i don't know how to when the world is like this now. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs · 11 months

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hi! I'm not sure if your taking requests or not, if your not please ignore this, but could you please write a self aware dazai, or any characters you'd like, learning that the reader has similar trauma as dazai, just some small aspects are different? thank you for your time!!

Hello! Hope, you like this. You are welcome.

When they learned, that you have similar trauma

Self-Aware! Dazai Osamu x GN!Reader

(Slight Self-aware! Oda Sakunosuke x GN!Reader)

Warning: Yandere, OOC, BSD characters stalks Reader, slight spoilers for "Dazai Osamu and dark era", mentions of death, few years ago Reader wasn't in the best place in their lives, English is my second language.

🪢🦀 It happened after you installed BSD Mayoi app and BSD gang gain access to the rest of your phone.

🪢🦀 Now they can hear your talking not only when you are using their app, reading manga/Light Novel or watching anime. Now they can hear you in your everyday life.

🪢🦀 Of course, they are looking after you for your own good. When they finally get to your world, they need to know who they should punish for wronging you.

🪢🦀 This cashier, who was rude to you and tried to scam you? Fitzgerald will destroy him financially.

🪢🦀 The terrible entitled parents in the park, who try to take away your phone and give to their children? Fukuzawa and Yosano will make them apologies.

🪢🦀 Entitled brats that ruined your notebooks? Elise and Q will show them, that you shouldn't be messed up with.

🪢🦀 Creepy old man that made you uncomfortable? Hirotsu and Melville will taught him some respect.

🪢🦀 But, until they find a way to your world, they only can send you some messages to lift your spirit up.

🪢🦀 Ango recently add another menu called "Message for you" to the game that allows them to leave you messages without adding presents. It's not that they were stingy, no. It happened because Gift Box won't allow them to send long messages. Moreover, they can send only one message per day. So, a new menu allows them to send more messages to you.

🪢🦀 You, for the most part, seem to be a cheerful person.

🪢🦀 So, when one day BSD gang felt that you are grieving, they were worried.

🪢🦀 They wanted to help you. But, the only thing they can do is sent another message to you.

🪢🦀 Dazai asked to be the one, who sent the message.

___________________________________

A familiar notification from "Message for You" popped up before your eyes. You mindlessly open it. It was a message from Dazai.

"[Y/N], dear, I hope you are doing well. If you are not... Well, do you want to talk about it? Dazai Osamu"

Little chibi Dazai was standing under the message text, looking at you. You stay silent for a moment. Then you start talking.

"I guess I can talk about it. Yes, you can't hear me, but, at least, I will talk this out. Today is the anniversary of my dear friend's death."

And you talked.

You talked about what happened few years ago. About feeling out of place. About feeling empty. About trying to find anything that can make you feel whole. About uncertainty in the future. About pressure from your family. About you failing in classes.

You talked about meeting your friend. About them been the best person in your life. About them helping you more than anyone at that period of time. They just were there. They didn't force you to speak about your feelings. Not only that, but they didn't shame you about your grades.

They were your anchor. Because of them, you were able to feel better. Life became good again.

And then they died.

You were crying, you can't manage to tell, how exactly they died. But you manage to say, that your friend died in a hospital. And that they managed to tell you something important. That you are good enough, that you shouldn't try to prove your worth to others. That your happiness matters.

Through sobs, you managed to whisper:

"If you think about it, Dazai, we are kinda the same. Both of us were lost, both of us were saved by a kind person, you by Oda, I by my friend, and both of us lost them. Thanks for listening. But, I think, I will go now."

You closed the app.

You didn't notice that Dazai sprite has tears in his eyes.

_____________________________________

🪢🦀 For a moment, everyone was quiet. They were sad after learning about your past.

🪢🦀 Yosano, who already felt bad for hating you before, felt even worse.

🪢🦀 Some of the characters cried. They thought that it's unfair, that someone like you suffered through such traumatic experience.

🪢🦀 All characters were concerned about you. You didn't deserve to experience this pain. They will start working harder. They will reach your world.

🪢🦀 But Dazai has the strongest reaction.

🪢🦀 Dazai was paralyzed. He feels tears running down his cheeks. You two were the same. But, you did something, that Dazai can never do for you. You brought Oda back.

🪢🦀 Dazai looked at the Infirmary door. Oda was standing there, leaning on the wall. Oda also looked concerned and sad.

🪢🦀🍛 Few days ago, you got Oda's card from scout. And Oda, like Shibusawa a few months prior, appears in ADA's office. He was dizzy and lost, but, according to Yosano, he was fine mentally and physically and just needs some rest. Soon he will manage to walk around.

🪢🦀🍛 Dazai was ready to work 24/7 just to reach your world. Oda manage to stop Dazai, before he tried to threaten to shoot Ango, Katai and Fyodor if they didn't find a way to your world immediately.

🪢🦀 Dazai want to hold you in his arms. Dazai want to protect you. Dazai want to take your pain away. Dazai will do anything he can to be with you. You will be happy and safe. He will let you cry on his shoulder.

🍛 Oda want to console you. Oda want to be near you. He isn't planning to replace your friend, but he wants to become as important to you as them. When Oda recovers, he will do his best to help others with finding a way to you.

🪢🦀🍛 Both Oda and Dazai will send you encouraging messages. They will try to make you smile.

🪢🦀🍛 You may not see each other eye to eye, but you are important to them. And they want to keep you safe.

#bungou stray dogs au #self-awareau #self-awarebsd #bsd #bsd x gender neutral reader #bungou stray dogs #gender neutral reader #bsd anime #yandere #Self-Aware Dazai Osamu #Self-Aware Oda Sakunosuke #dazai osamu x reader #oda sakunosuke #Dazai Osamu #oda sakunosuke x reader #bsd x reader

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ashthemadwriter-archived · 2 years

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Being jealous of their child

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairings: Nikolai, Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor, Ranpo X Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Humour, Comfort

Format: Drabble

Warnings: Shitty parenting (like, for real), bsd men/reader being childish af

Word Count: 2.7K

A/n: As you know I'm a sucker for fluffy romantic shit so-

Btw C/N stands for Child's Name

They're the one who gets jealous

↳Nikolai

From the moment you announced your pregnancy to him, Nikolai knew his life was about to turn into a horrifying nightmare. How the baby was going to have his share of attention from you, how your love was going to be divided between him and the baby; it was definitely an unpleasant event.

But things got a little better when the baby was born.

When the small, whiney creature was placed into his arms, he immediately stopped crying and his tiny lips curled up into a open mouth smile, making his teethless gums visible; like he could recognize his father's aura. Nikolai pouted at the sight.

That stupid baby.

That stupid adorable baby.

His baby.

Suddenly things weren't that bad anymore, because his mind started wandering around the imagination of him and his son, running away from angry Sigma as they held each others hand and giggled. They could annoy Dos-kun together, they could play pranks on people and laugh at their stupid faces when they realized what was happening. His son looked just like him, and no one could resist those big glassy golden eyes of his.

He could teach his little Dove how to fly, alongside him.

At that moment Nikolai suddenly felt butterflies flying in his stomach, but he forget an important point;

that his son took after him and he, was a jerk.

"Mommyyyyyyy! Dad ate all the cookies again!"

The words of your son made you look up to your husband who was sitting on the couch watching TV, and raise your voice a bit.

"Nikolai! Again? How many times have I told you not to eat the cookies I bake for C/N?"

Nikolai stared at your sons innocent face for a while, before looking back to you and pout. "Why not?" "Because you eat them all at once and I have to get my ass kicked making them again!"

C/N stood behind you as he gazed at his father. He always looked so innocent, so pure, so angelic; but not with that evil smile on his face; The evil smile that you've never seen, because he doesn't plan on showing you.

The little beast was watching him closely to rat him out.

Nikolai slowly sank into the couch as an idea popped into his mind. If that little beast could play dirty, then why wouldn't he show him a little bit of what he's actually capable of?"

"It's just that... You know what? Never mind" "What? What is it?"

You stared at your husband who was fighting back a smile with curiosity, taking a few steps to approach him.

"What is it baby? You know you can tell me anything" You said while sitting next to him, tucking his hair behind his ear. Nikolai sighed at your motion, and tried to avoid your gaze as he started talking.

"It's just that... I've been feeling a little left out lately, and... Ever since C/N was born... You haven't given me any attention. It just feels like... that... you don't love me anymore" "What? That's not true, baby! I love you both equally!" "Oh really? Then how come you never bake any cookies for me? They were used to be all mine! And what happened to our date nights? Hm? All gone when the baby came into our lives!"

You slowly became sad at his words. He was right. Things changed so much since your baby was born, and they weren't all good changes. Maybe you were focusing on your son a bit too much, to the point that you forgot about the love of your life. How unforgivable.

"Kolya... I'm so sorry... I guess I didn't realize how hard things must have been on you... But I promise I make up for it! I love you more than anything in the world after all. I-"

"More than him?" Nikolai looked directly into your eyes that got widened from his question. "What?" "I said, do you love me more than C/N or not?" "I... Well I can't choose-" "Yes or No, Y/N?"

You paused for a few second, before taking a glance at your son from the corner of your eyes and getting closer to your partner, Whispering in a really quiet tone. "Yes... Of course I love you more than him. You're my other half, after all"

He knew you didn't mean it. He found out about it the day you refused to have an abortion and decided to keep the baby, but this was enough for him; enough to teach his brat of a son a lesson.

"Good" Nikolai smiled as he used to do back when you first met, and opened his arms for you. "Now, a hug would be a good start to make up, hmm?"

"Sure, baby; sure" You slowly leaned to his embrace, missing the sight of him taking his tongue out and show the middle finger to your son, who was raising his fists to threaten him that he'll get back at him for this.

↳Dazai

"I want to marry you when I grow up, mom!"

C/N slowly hugged you and placed a small kiss on your belly, since it was the only place his lips could reach without help. You chuckled while running your fingers through his hair, smiling at your son which was literally the smallest version of your dearest husband.

"But baby! What are we going to do about your father then? Daddy will be sad if you take his wifey away from him. Don't you love your daddy?"

C/N's face turned sad a bit as he thought about his father being away from you. The little one was aware of how deeply his dad was in love with his mom, how he always wrapped his arms around her, trapping her in a long hug the minute he got home. Dad was crazy about mom, always had to be touching her in some way, always kissed her forehead gently before staring at her with his love struck eyes... it was the reason why he wanted to marry his mom after all;

His cute little mind was expecting a life like this in the future, marrying someone he was head over heals for and form a happy family with her.

"I... I love daddy but... I love you more! Besides, daddy can come to our wedding if he wants to!"

"Oh really?!"

the sudden appearance of your husband made you both draw back in shock, and turn to the door just to see him peeking through the door with a not exactly delighted expression.

"D-Dad? How long how you been standing there?"

"Long enough to witness this brutal act of betrayal!" He said dramatically as he always did, slowly walking toward you to place his hand on your waist. You rolled your eyes at him and subconsciously sank into his warmth more, making him smile a bit harder.

"Now now, C/N; Do you think you have a chance with my Belladonna?"

The boy looked over how your figure was sticking to Dazai's as if he was your savior, and a small sulk appeared on his face. "Why not? I'm more handsome than you are!"

"HUH!"

Dazai gave him a challenging gaze while he tightened his grip on your waist, smirking at his kid knowing he was going to end up crying in his bedroom.

"Then let me make it clear for you"

His confident tune made you shoot him a suspicious glance and protest to him arguing with his own child, but your voice was immediately cut off by your own shock from being lifted up into the air.

"OSAMU WHAT ARE YOU-"

"This is my Belladonna! You see her? She's my wife! My one and only love in this cruel world! I'll do anything for her! I'll protect her from anything! And I'll never let anything come between me and her! Not even you, you little brat!"

It was a matter of time before your sons shocked face burst out into gloom "Waaaaaaa daddy is so mean I hate you!"

He covered his face with his tiny hands while running off to his bedroom, slamming the door behind himself as his sobbing became louder.

You raised your eyebrows at your stupidly handsome husband.

"Happy now?"

Not that he needed to say anything though; the answer was written all over his gorgeous face. "Oh Yeah, Definitely"

↳Ranpo

Your red nails looked so majestic running around in those dark brown hair like that, slowly massaging the skin as you smiled down at, well, someone who was not him.

Ranpo sulked as his sharp gaze targeted you and C/N, who had his head laid on your lap while listening to your easy riddles that he could answer in a blink of an eye.

"So, another one. There are two doors. Behind one of them is a lion who hasn't eaten anything in two weeks, and behind the other one is a lab full of poisonous gas. If you had to open one, which would be your choice?"

"If I answer that correctly, would you give me more ice cream as reward?"

"Of course! My clever boy deserves all the sweets in the world!"

"Yay!" C/N smiled as he looked at you with excitement. "Then, I would open the door with a lion behind it, cause the lion is dead after being starved for two weeks!" "That's right! Mwah* You're my little detective! I'm so proud of you baby!" "Then can you add some cookies to the reward too?" "Sure! If you do all your homework" "Ok then!"

C/N got up and ran to his room to finish his math homework. You sighed, letting your head rest on the wall behind you, when you suddenly felt something on your lap.

"Ranpo? What are you doing?" You watched him with surprise as he tried to avoid your gaze by tilting his head to the other side.

"Ask me" "What?" "Ask me to solve riddles for you too!"

His flushed cheeks and whiney tune finally hit you. Oh! So your thirty year old husband was being jealous of his own son! How... expected of him.

"So you want more ice cream as well?" You decided to play dumb as you seized the opportunity to tease him a little bit, but he saw through you, as always. "No! I want you to praise me like you praise C/N! I can solve harder riddles than him! I'm the best detective in the world! not him!"

You wished you could say his nagging and childish behavior made you question your life choices, but unfortunately, those were actually the reasons why you fell for this adorable man in the first place.

"Fine baby, you're the best the detective in the whole world" You slowly placed a kiss on his forehead, slowly massaging his temple to make him blush even harder.

"Even better than him?" "Even better than him"

Ranpo let out a "Hmph" sound before looking back to you, and pouting at your satisfied expression.

"Y/N?" "What is it baby?" "I still want more cookies and Ice cream as reward, and they have to be more than his share"

You're the one who gets jealous.

↳Fyodor

This is wrong.

This is stupid.

This is childish.

This is illogical.

But this is still how you feel.

You're jealous of how your daughter is all curled up in his lap and he's so cool about it like it's nothing. Why isn't he shooing her away? Why? Then why is he always rejecting you whenever you get clingy while he is working?

You didn't want him to reject her. You just...

Felt left out.

"Look, daddy! It's me and you!" C/N chuckled as she held the paper up so her father could see it, but it was a bit too high and literally three centimeters away from his face.

"Oh, it's really pretty sweetheart" He said as he took the paper from her tiny hands, while caressing her pigtails with his other hand. The drawing was messy, but its cuteness could definitely make up for it. However, There was something missing; an important thing.

"Where's your mom then? You didn't draw her" He replied, slowly tilting his head to the front to meet his child's purple eyes that took after his. Her cute pigtails were kinda getting in the way of his vision, but they were too cute to shake off.

"Oh? I drew mommy earlier, But she was still caught up with housework so she told me to leave her alone until she's done. She promised she'll come see it later!"

Fyodor raised his head to look at you, but was met with an empty sofa instead. You were here a while ago, where did you suddenly went off?

"Darling, wait here. I'll go check up on your mom. Don't touch anything before I come back, ok?"

"Ok!"

Fyodor didn't see you leaving, but he had no trouble guessing where you were.

He found you in your shared bedroom, your coiled figure on the bed as you were hiding under the blanket. The sound of those familiar footsteps made you cautions, but you weren't planning on greeting him as you used to do.

Sure, housework.

"Myshka?"

Silence.

"Honey?"

Still silence.

He remained still, making you wonder if he was planning on something which was rather expected of him;

but the unexpected thing was how his arms suddenly wrapped around you as he crawled under the blanket.

"Hm! So, she's actually sleep" He whispered next to your ear, smiling softly while his thumb gently caressed your cheeks that were slightly red from... the warmness of the room? You wished he would think that way.

"Too bad... I wish she could join us in the living room"

The smile you were struggling to fight back finally beat you as it appeared on your face, but you were still not going to give in.

"Dear, may I say you're pressing your eyes a little too hard for someone who's actually sleep?" "No you may not, and I am sleep you're just being paranoid" "Absolutely! How can I question it when you're telling me yourself?" He teased, pulling you closer to plant a delicate kiss on your forehead, which was his one last move to surrender you; and your open eyes was proof that he succeeded.

"Hmph! You waked me up" You pouted, sinking into his embrace. He's chin was on the top of your head, fingers going through your silky hair as he inhaled the delightful aroma of your chocolate scented shampoo.

"My apologies, dear; what would you suggest to make up for it?" "Cuddles...? If... if you have time...? I mean, you looked like you have plenty a while ago!" Your sullen voice made him chuckle and press you in his arms a bit harder. "Of course. I always have time for you, wifey~" "Fedya!"

He knew how to make you feel butterflies in your stomach, he definitely did.

↳Chuuya

"So, which one of us do you like the most? Me or her?" You looked at your husband as you raised your eyebrows, daring him to choose the other option on the table, which was your daughter who was also standing next to you, with the same pose.

"Uh... I love you both equally?" He smiled thinking he just saved himself, but your dissatisfied expressions made it clear that this was not over yet. "That's not true! You have to pick one!" "Yes daddy! Tell mommy that you like me more than her!"

The little one held the bottom of his coat as he looked at him with puppy eyes, trying to manipulate him into choosing her; but the thing was that your sharp gaze was more powerful than those bluebell eyes of hers.

"I can't choose between you! You're both my girls!" "That's it, I'm sleeping in the guest room" "NO WAIT-"

Chuuya suddenly shifted you up with one hand as he did the same to C/N, pulling both of you back onto his lap. The cocky smirk on his face was more visible than usual, but you couldn't blame him because you were also shocked from how he was able to do such things without wasting any energy.

That handsome bastard.

"See? I have enough strength to hold both of you in my arms, and my love is no different~" He smiled, placing a kiss on C/N's cheek to prove his point. "There's enough love for the both of you. You're my favorite people in the whole world, ok? There's no need to fight over this! I'm all yours"

You sighed, picking his hat up to pull his ponytail.

"That was nice, but..." "Owww!" "Still not the right answer" "Damn it!"

Reblogs are wildly appreciated :)

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fyorina · 28 days

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(uh, this is rlly long im so sorry qwq)

OMG THAT LAST CHAPTER HAD ME FEELING SM CARINA U CANT DO THIS TO ME !!!! LITERALLY THE FIRST FEW PARAGRAPHS IN I HADTA WALK AROUND BC I WAS SO OVERWHELMED I LOVED IT SM !!! N THOSE LAST FEW LINES. DONTDOTHISTOME I S A W THE "BEAST AU COMPLIANT" TAG ON UU IM GONNA SOB MY EYES OUT DURING IT I JUST KNOW !!!

gonna leave some of my fave few lines n my thoughts abt them from this chapter (ok these arent all of em, bc if i put all of em it'd be the whole 50k words of this series SO ITS JUST THIS CHAPTER)

"because how could he possibly belong amongst people who are so unfailingly good that it makes his tainted heart stick out like a sore thumb?"

STOP NO DONT DO THIS TO MEEEEEE throughout the whole fic u perfectly captured his thought process n how he denies his own capacity for change n how he HAS changed from when he was 18 BUT THIS LINE MADE ME TEAR UPPPPPP

"He is so completely and irrevocably in love with you that Dazai doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to live in a world without you. The thought alone makes his skin crawl and his chest cave in."

self-explanatory

“Are you calling me ugly?”

u gorgeous, gorgeous man ilysm yes you look like a rat but i'll swaddle u up in blankets n clean u up

the whole graveyard scene. DO YOU WANT ME TO CRY HELLO

“You were a kid, Osamu. You’re not some incarnate of evil for ending up where you did, you were failed by all of the adults in your life,”

ok nvm crying this hit me like a truck

"Humans cannot live without a heart, so if he’s to give you his, it’s only fair that you give him your own—though realistically, yours has already been his for a long time."

i feel like this mightve been ur fave line, but if it wasnt IT STILL IS MINE BC OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD QWQ

ranpos lil rant was so funny he's literally me frfr

“Yeah… ha, look at us, in jail at the same time! Couple goals, huh?”

i giggled

PLS READER INVITING EVERYONE JUST TO AVOID GETTING INTERROGATED UMMM RELATABLE LMFAO

these are just some of them BUT JUST IN GENERAL, UR WRITING IS JUST MAGICAL ITS EVERYTHING IVE EVER WANTED TO READ N I LOVELOVELOVEEEE THIS SERIES N ALL UR WORKS (n u /p) SM !!! I CANT WAIT FOR UNREAL UNEARTH, I JUST KNOW IT'LL BE AMAZING !!!

RED HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU NOT TO APOLOGIZE I LITERALLY ADORE YOU IM GOING TO WEEP OMG

honestly the first scene of dazai’s pov was one of my favs to write because it pisses me off so much whenever he’s excluded from the ada panels in the manga fjsjdjsjjd so i NEEDED the opportunity to hit home that that is his FAMILY idc what asagiri says the ada is that boys family and he deserves it 🥹🤞

UGHHHHH STOP BECAUSE WHENEVER I WRITE CANONZAI ITS SO HARD TO KEEP ON THAT THIN LINE OF HIS INABILITY TO ACCEPT HIS OWN GROWTH WHILE ALSO HAVING HIM ACKNOWLEDGING ODA’S LAST WISH FOR HIM SO I REWROTE SO MANY OF HIS POVS SEVERAL TIMES BECAUSE I FELT LIKE I WASNT GRASPING IT ALL PROPERLY

the graveyard scene was one of the 3 scenes i started writing for 🥹 i literally was weeping when i finally got to it

AND ALSO THE YOU WERE A KID LINE UGHHHHHHHH BRO when i tell you that’s something that i literally want to scream at him and shake his shoulders like he was FOURTEEN WHEN MORI BROUGHT HIM IN AFTER HIS ATTEMPT !!!!! FOURTEEN !!!!! HE WAS A BABY IT MAKES ME SO SAD WHEN HE FRAMES HIMSELF AS SOME IRREDEEMABLE MONSTER WHEN HE ONLY TURNED OUT THE WAY HE DID BECAUSE HE HAD NO ADULTS IN HIS LIFE SETTING HIM ON THE RIGHT TRACK ugh im gonna weep again i will always be dazai’s #1 defender, i will fight him himself idc he was only a lil baby :’)

oh my god fun fact i actually almost deleted that line about the heart, i don’t even know why like i was rereading it right before i post and i second guessed myself because i was like ‘i don’t think it rlly flows’ but then i decided against removing it because i liked the line in general SO IM WEEPING AGAIB

bro ranpo needs a promotion for real the headaches this man must get because of people not listening to him 💀

HDOSJDJSJDJJD THE COUPLES GOAL LINE WHEN I TELL YOU I SNORTED WRITING IT HELPPPPP I WAS GIGGLING SO HARD

RED ILYSM IM BUNDLING YOU IN THE SOFTEST BLANKETS AND GIVING YOU A FOREHEAD KISS

i’m so excited for unreal unearth like honestly it’s my pride and joy, i’m so pleased with how my beast!dazai characterization has come out so far and i’m hoping everyone else is going to like it too 🥹 if not ill simply die HAHAH JK JK JK no but really i’m so very excited for it

#ᡣ𐭩 carina’s love letters #ᡣ𐭩 from user: cheriiyaya

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pegging-satan · 11 months

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Brahjdhsnd carrying on my headcanon that Kunikida goes to Dazai’s place every other weekend to clean up and cook something for him because he just knows Daz won’t, and after that they both have a couple drinks and Kunikida winds down

This time when he arrives at Dazai’s place the latter was already a couple bottles in, and being extra clingy and affectionate as Kunikida went about his chores. He has to admit, being hugged from behind as he’s doing the dishes feels kinda nice <3

No drinks tonight though seeing as his partner is already up in the clouds and he has to get to work early tomorrow. He goes to lie down on the little couch where he usually sleeps, but Dazai pokes him and goes “why don’t you sleep somewhere more comfortable”

And proceeds to drag him to his bed. For a drunk Dazai, Kunikida obliges. The former joins him shortly after, mumbling incoherently. After a few minutes, it goes quiet, and he thinks that Dazai finally passed out. He stirs a little to now be on his side.

Then he feels stirring next to him, and before he knows it there’s an arm around him. Dazai is freakishly strong and pulls him closer, much to his shock. And followed by that, he hears his slurred words in his ears.

“I bother you a lot, don’t I? I’m sorry about that. Often I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t even want to live. But thanks for keeping me alive. I don’t know what I would do without you. I don’t really want to die. I just want to feel something. Hey, you listening?”

“Yes”

“Yeah. So. As I was saying. I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to do with myself most of the time. Things just happen. I don’t know what I’m saying or if I’m even making sense. Tonight I thought I’d drink myself to death but I remembered you’d be coming over. I’m sorry for not taking care of myself. Hey. Hey, I appreciate you so much. Soooo much. Yes. A lot. A whole lot. You mean so much to me. Soooooo much. Yeah.”

“Daz-“

“No shhhh. Let me tell you how much I appreciate you, ok? It’s a whole lot. You’re so nice. Thank you for taking care of me. I don’t really recall ever being cared for, or loved in any way. You’re so nice. You make me feel loved, I love you soooooo much”

“Thanks” he says, with tears in his eyes that he blinks away. There’s a lump forming in his throat, he’s never felt this appreciated before. To his further shock, he feels a little kiss on his shoulder. He takes a deep breath. His partner is still mumbling drunkenly and his voice is quivering. He had started to cry.

Kunikida turns now, to face Dazai, who is a sniffling, mumbling, incoherent mess. From the dim city lights filtering through the thin curtains, he can see that though his eyes are closed, there are tears rolling down his face. It’s strange seeing his partner so vulnerable.

He pushes a lock of dark brown hair away from his face, and looks at him for a second. The latter opens his eyes just a little, before going to wipe away another tear. Suddenly he feels exposed, unguarded, completely defenceless. He feels like the void will swallow him whole.

“Hold me, please” he says in a soft whisper. His partner, now over the initial shock, snakes a hand underneath his waist and scoots him over, his other arm around his neck and shoulders, now playing with his hair.

“Hey, relax okay? I’m here. Right here” he reassures him and plants a little kiss on his head. There’s a little more sobbing, and then it quiets down. Then, the sobs are replaced by soft snores.

Kunikida did not have to go to work early the next morning. When he got here and saw the state his idiot was in, he knew he’d have to take care of his hungover self in the morning. He’d made up his mind then.

The next morning he woke up in the same position he’d fallen asleep in, with Dazai in his arms. Careful not to wake him, he got out of bed and silently went about his morning routine. Made some breakfast for them, read the paper with some tea.

But this time with a special warmth blooming in his chest. He knew Dazai would remember none of that, but it was enough. A man is most honest when he’s drunk. He prepared a hangover cure, left a glass of water beside his sleeping partner.

Then, like clockwork, he was ready to go.

Right on time.

#soft for them tonite lads #again this can be platonic or romantic 🥰#half inspired by true events in which I got drunk and told my friend I loved her a lot and cuddled up to her kissed her shoulder #and passed out lol it was pretty wholesome #She says that it was the most loved she has ever felt #sigh. when me when #.txt #bungou stray dogs #bsd dazai #bsd kunikida #bsd headcanons #bsd fic #kunikidazai

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daz4i · 3 months

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actually i AM gonna post abt this again. sorry

like when i say they make me feel like i'm in a story. i mean it

we started talking and immediately clicked. talked nonstop for days really

we both had relationships like that years before, but then paused that behavior bc we were young and it wasn't the healthiest, but now we were adults and knew better. it was the first one after that break for both of us

i avoided this behavior for awhile bc i knew it's not the healthiest but it felt so good when it happened. i (rightfully) feared the crash but at the time, the high was so worth it. and everything was going so smoothly too. things kept aligning just right all the time

every time i thought something is gonna come up or that i did something wrong and now it's all gonna blow up, they proved that i had no reason to worry, bc they let it slide immediately, even liked it

we kind of completed each other in every way. liked the same things and had a lot in common, but were opposites in enough things that we weren't TOO similar

i stopped worrying abt annoying them relatively early into the whole thing (usually it takes me months or even years, or i never stop at all. here it was maybe 2-3 weeks)

we became actually close right on their birthday. a small thing but you gotta admit if this was a story it'd be poetic as hell

every time they had a problem and i jokingly said i'm sending a spell their way to fix it, it passed after like 2 minutes. absolutely insane coincidence stuff

i mentioned this before. and this is gonna be embarrassing but. we met through, well, kin stuff lol. they kin chuuya, i kin dazai, we joked abt kindating etc. anyway my mental health was shit but they genuinely uplifted me a lot. they made me want to live for the first time in who knows how long, maybe ever. i think you can tell why i prefaced this story with that fact 🥲 embarrassing but real

and now this shit? 😭 another small thing but like. i make a post abt them bc now is generally around the time we started talking, and someone i follow queued a post from their blog and it posts right now?? they've been decativated for nearly a year HOW did this line up like that 😭

they unfortunately made me believe in the concept of soulmates :/ but as my friends (and mom. bc she saw me cry over the whole thing for days) said. if they cut me off and hurt me like that, they weren't ~the one~

and another thing that made me feel more like i'm in a teen movie is. i legit spent a day and a half in bed crying and barely doing anything else, after they cut me off. truly cliche stuff. actually that's a good way to put it - they made me feel like a cliche. still do when i think abt it a year later. it was a good thing at first, bad when it ended. i could make a movie abt this barely changing any detail and it'll be an average teen romantic comedy (except i'll have to add some happy ending there)

anyway let me finish all that by saying. who the fuck blocks someone on spotify 😭 dude...

(it's been a year and i got burned so badly from this whole thing that i seriously doubt i'll be able to love someone this much again. i need it to be an instant obsession to actually feel good about love, but i'll never be able to confidently go into any new relationship with that purpose because i'm just too scared things will hurt this much again. it's honestly so depressing lol 🥲 but what can ya do)

(i also became the most suicidal i've ever been since lol. probably bc of how big the drop was. it still hasn't gone away. part of why i see no point in life is bc of that previous paragraph. so.)

#vent #but it's me being obsessive and weird probably #(trust me when i say i can be way worse tho! 😎)

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kbius6 · 8 months

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Ranking my favorite IkeVamp guys because I'm bored and felt like it lol.

Was just gonna rank them and put what I like about them and stuff but ended up adding extra headcannon-y(?) stuff(like stuff I'd show some of them from the future lol(ADHD strikes again 🤦‍♀️) Im not changing it. Enjoy my rambling lol, or you can ignore it and just look at the pictures, your choice 😂

Im using the pet cards because they're my favorites 🖤🖤🖤

1. Charles. He is an absolutely precious baby. He made me cry. So damn much. I hate that I understand how he feels 😔 just wanting love. I just wanna hug him and comfort him and tell him how much I love him. He's so sweet, and SO kind, he deserves to be happy and loved. Imma make him watch Fruits Basket with me and listen to my favorite bands, that always makes me feel less lonely so maybe it'd help him too 🖤

Fuck it, why not rate the pets too lol.

Louis 9/10 adorable, wants attention, basically a palm sized fluffy Charles lol.

2. Dazai. Apparently the more they make me cry the more I like them 🤷‍♀️ there's just something lovable about him. He's another one I can't help but relate a lot to, and like with Charles I would 110% be showing him my favorite music, maybe it'd make him realize he's not the only one that feels like he does. Also curious what his reaction to Bungo Stray Dogs would be...hmm

Bunta 6/10 cute little bird.

3. Leonardo. This motherfucker...where to begin 😂 he like naps. I like naps. His room's a cluttered wreack. My room's a cluttered wreck. He has a black cat. I have 2 black cats. He has hobbies in basically everything. I end up with new hobbies monthly(yay ADHD) and in his route he takes the MC on a freaking boat ride. Which made me think of the most romantic scene ever(imo) from Tangled(my favorite Disney movie(which I will make him watch) and I would quite literally implode if someone ever did that with me irl. Also I love Italian food and I bet he can cook 🤤

Lumiere 10/10 I am completely biased, black cats are the best cats 🖤🖤🖤

4. Mozart. He was the first route I decided to read. Music was quite literally my first love and I actually enjoy listening to classical music, so he was a no brainer to start with. And stupidly I have a soft spot for tsunderes lol. I have the horrible urge to show him the weirdest stuff from my music playlists just to watch his head explode trying to comprhend how anyone could actually like such things 😂 also think it'd just be fun to show him how much music changes through decades and such. And Imma be nice and show him the soundtrack from Violet Evergarden(it's soooooo pretty) and Final Fantasy XV(and probably some of the other games too)

Schelm 6/10 another bird. Im not a big fan of birds but this one looks like Hedwig 🖤

5. Jean. Again, I like the tramatized ones 🤷‍♀️ I think it's adorable how innocent he actually is. Cherie is adorable, I would gladly be mauled trying to hug her(think the one scene from Black Butler, that's me) 😂 why Comte let Jean keep a freaking TIGER is beyond me but sure, okay. I would LOVE to introduce him to Disney movies(even if there's really only a few I truly love), I just feel like he'd enjoy them 🤷‍♀️ especially wanna show him Lilo & Stitch(I mean, he was reading the Ugly Duckling and that sends my brain straight to that movie okay)

Cherie 9/10 big baby kitty!!! 🖤🖤🖤

6. Vincent. Precious angel. 💛 AND HE HAS A PET RACOON. Granted being that happy all the time isn't healthy(If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn’t be a human being. You’d be a game-show host.) but he's a sweetheart and like Theo if anyone even looked at him funny I'd be yelling ever swear I know at them 😁 I already had an interest in him before I decided to download IkeVamp, I particularlly like his older paintings and eventually want a copy of his flying fox for my living room. He'd be so much fun to do arts and crafts with 💛💛💛

Brush 10/10 he's so freaking cute and the way Vincent came up with his name is adorable and never fails to make me laugh. I wish I could have a pet racoon.

7. Isaac. Another precious baby. I just wanna tell Arthur and Dazai off everytime they mess with him lol. He'd be fun to just hang out with, but with how awkward and anxious we both are(and tbh he reads as probably Autistic to me 🤷‍♀️ I might just be projecting(then again all of them have SOMETHING if we're being honest 🤷‍♀️) it probably wouldn't happen often ☹️ I hate math, but I will gladly sit and let him ramble on about it for hours because it's clear just how much he loves it. I wonder what his reaction to us landing on the moon would be. I bet he'd enjoy watching How It's Made.

Harry 8/10 he's small and spiky and so cute 🥰

8. Arthur. I hate him. But I can't deny he is stupidly charming at the same time. 🙄 but I sure as hell wouldn't be telling him that. Deep down he's an okay guy. Just a horny idiot lol. I've always liked mystery/detective stuff(I blame being raised on Scooby Doo) so I could see us bonding over that. I will be showing him bbc's Sherlock and nobody can stop me. Also I feel like he's the type that would enjoy video games 🤷‍♀️ so that could be fun

Vic 7/10 Im personally more of a cat person but I love Charles spaniels, they're just so pretty

9. Faust. He annoys the crap out of me, but in an slightly enjoyable way? If that makes sense? Lol. I feel like we'd probably be constantly seeing who could annoy the other more 😂

Mephi 7/10 absolutely adorable, but I don't like the idea of him snatching my things, I lose things enough on my own 😂

10. Theo. Another one that annoys me. I like him, and his love for his brother, while sometimes a bit too intense is endearing, I just cannot stand all the "teasing" he does. But overall he's fine. Kinda intimidating(I am easily intimidated lol) but his heart's in the right place. I bet he'd probably cry seeing how much people love his brother's art nowadays. I think it'd be cool to take him to one of those interactive art exhibts(I went to a Vincent one and it was so cool)

King 8/10 BIG PUPPER 🖤🖤🖤 the bigger the dog the more I love them and golden retrivers are just so lovable

11. Napoleon. Honestly, he just feels like the big brother type 🤷‍♀️ dk what else there really is to say lol. I would 1000% beg him to teach me sword fighting because it looks fun.

Jupiter 3/10 I have a fear of most birds that are bigger than a fist. I like where he got the name though.

12. Shakespeare. He reminds me of Loki tbh, so it's odd he'd be this low on the list but honestly, he gets on my nerves sometimes. And I always have to Google words whenever he shows up 😂 I feel like we could probably get along okay. I do have a love for drama...I'd love to expose him to musicals(I think he'd like Les Mis) and horror movies, he'd probably enjoy those too.

Puck 7/10 fluffy bunny, so cute

13. Comte. Just not really my type. I literally dk what else to say about this one. Uhm.....🤷‍♀️ he's obviously a really nice guy, sadly I like them less mentally stable than him though 🤦‍♀️ I just don't think we really have any common interest or anything 🤷‍♀️ apart from him being a vampire, I'd love to grill him for as much info as possible lol

Time 8/10 basically a long rat(I love rats) another little theif lol

14. Sebastian. I mean...he's cool I guess, but when you compare him to everyone else...🤷‍♀️ he'd defiently be fun to be friends with though. Keeping a book of things he learns while stalking observing the residents reminds me of when I used to like a certain boyband as a kid 😂 fun fact, I have a grey cat named Sebastian. And he WASN'T named after Seb from Black Butler...unlike somebody else 😂

Fraulien 8/10 cute but not exactly a favorite animal of mine 🤷‍♀️ she would still be getting cuddles though.

15. Vlad. He knows what he did to deserve being dead last 😡 He was higher up but then all the bullshit went down in Charles route and now he sucks 😤 should have known better than to trust someone who loves strawberries as much as he does(Im allergic) lol. Positives, I love his garden. And his taste in decor is just gorgeous. Im sure after I get over all the crap from Charles route we could get along okay 🤷‍♀️

Marshmello 9/10 so damn fluffy and beautiful 🤍 100% would try to steal him from Vlad to keep as my own lol. Foxes are cool.

All of them have their good and bad traits, this is just MY personal opinion. I don't really dislike any of them tbh, even if it kinda comes across that way from what I've put(even Vlad lol, Im just gonna be bitter for a good while). Feel free to add you own rankings.

In conclusion, IDK why I made this post lol. My hyperfixation took over I guess and I wanted to ramble 🤷‍♀️

#ikevamp

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int3rnall · 2 months

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I want to talk about what I've never talked about before. It's about me. Me. Who am I? Why do I constantly avoid who I am? What am I? I shouldn't limit myself within the labels of typology types. I define myself.

I'm....why am I here? I used to want to be a God. The closest thing to a god is an author, so I decided to pursue writing as my life purpose. I am here to bring stories to life. I'm here to be everywhere, nowhere, anytime, under any circumstances..I'm.. I don't know..

Maybe I got so caught up with typology because it made me understand myself better. People confuse me. I always cry when I think too much. My thoughts scare me. They make me think I'm gonna end in a terrible life. They make me nihilistic, purposeless and empty. Small. I think too much. I see so much I have nothing in sight.

I never felt understood by anyone. I put on a facade. It's not like they try to understand. It doesn't matter anyway. They will always resent me once they know me. Everyone does. If I show a glimpse of who I really am, they will find me repulsive. I'm...I'm always running. I distract myself. I'm never serious. I'm such a shit person who did a lot of shit things and I don't treasure anyone or anything because what's the point of loving something with all you have when it'll end anyway? I'm greedy. I'm selfish. I'm an imposter.

It's not like its hard for me to make friends... it's really not. I like hanging out with people. I just don't get attached to them. I don't reveal my feelings. They tell me all they can about themselves and I always avoid the serious questions because what if I'm not what I make myself out to be?

I'm strange. This is similar to how Dazai feels. He doesn't feel inferior to others. I definitely don't. In fact I feel superior over them for some reason, perhaps because I see what they can't and know what they don't. Maybe I'm fooling myself. Maybe it's a trick. A coping mechanism. Who knows? Who cares? I don't compare myself to others and feel envy over what they have that I don't. I don't. Or at least I don't show it. I ignore it.

I don't know what to do. What do I do. How do I love. How do I live. I wanna be something. Do something valuable and meaningful. I wanna have a purpose. I wanna achieve greatness. I want to be extraordinary. I push myself to impress people. To make them owe me. I don't know myself. I want to be more than what I am. I'm so...bland. I'm like an empty bowl. How do I become greater? How do I find meaning? How do I make most out of my life?

I already gave up on being God. It was never gonna happen anyway, as much as I resent my flesh. My mortal cage of a body.

What an abysmal state.

I thought of being a detective. Maybe that'll be better. Way fun. A professor? Paperwork sounds boring. Why do I define who I am by what I do? Is my title and achievement all there is to me?

Ugh....

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yatsugareboyf · 2 years

Text

standing in the rain

dazai osamu x reader.

hurt/comfort. warning: grief, loss, no one really dies in this but there are mentions of dead people.

the back of the book: you and dazai osamu have little in common, and grief was one of them.

note: yeah.... yeah. im not sorry

dazai isn't unfamiliar with grief . in fact, he almost finds comfort in it with how long it stuck around him. he grieves everyday, whenever he passes happy little kids playing the park, whenever he sees a curry place that just opened, hell, whenever he sees his own coat. everyday, dazai is reminded that he is still very much under the hostage of grief.

he knew that he isn't the only person in the world to experience grief, everyone does at some point. it's a universal thing. but he only knew recently that you have been grieving too.

which is why you didn't say a single word when you spotted him sitting against a headstone one cold afternoon. you merely stared at him before walking away to go to your own headstone to sit against. usually, you'd be smiling at him, beckoning him to come closer to coming closer yourself, but today you barely acknowledged his existence as you situate yourself quietly, only a few moments away.

he looked in your direction to see your back facing him. you were standing and looking down at the grave in front of you. you didn't bring anything except for a small convenience-store-bought coffee. were you mumbling? were you saying anything? were you just staring? he couldn't tell from the distance. were you crying? he would've known if it hadn't started raining.

since he was under a tree, he never felt it coming, but you were there, still standing on a grave, holding a stale cup of coffee without a care in the world. in a span of a few second, your whole body was soaked in rainwater and the earth under your feet started to mud. you seemed to not mind, since you still stood there. and he understood why.

grief is such a complex thing. it pulls people away from their families and their beliefs, it turns people into cold-hearted murderers and serial killers, it makes people lose their sanity and well-being, and it drives people to stand in mud while it's raining.

the pain that grief causes one person is immeasurable. you can never truly comprehend whether or not you'll ever see the end of you grief, nothing can "cure" grief. you can still be happy, successful, blessed with all the riches in the world, and you'll still be grieving because no amount of things in the world can bring the dead back to life.

even if you flip the world upside down, travel the world in search of an answer, finish the book they never got to finish, create a world where they could finish said book and live happily in peace, they're still dead, and you're still alive.

so standing in the rain was the least of your worries, and dazai osamu understood.

he stands by you a minute later, not sparing a glance at the grave you've been staring at for the past 20 minutes. he looks up at the sky and then at you, who didn't mind his sudden presence. you knew he was here, after all.

"that coffee probably has rain water already, belladonna."

you didn't answer him, but you seemed to snap out of your trance and examined the drenched paper cup that still had "coffee" in it, if you can still call it coffee.

"it's not for me."

he knew not to ask for who, what relationship you had with the grave your visiting, anything, really. it'll come one day. he also can't bear the inevitable "what about you?" question that comes right after, not right now.

"why are you standing in the rain? you were perfectly fine under that tree."

"i could ask you the same thing."

you chuckle emptily, and he wishes he never heard it. it was so devoid of emotion, so far from what he hears from you everyday.

"love and grief makes you do silly things, no? like stand in the rain."

love and grief made dazai leave the only "home" he's ever known to pursue a life he knew nothing about, the complete opposite of his previous life. it made him finally try to become a better person, see the world through the eyes of someone who wants to live. the biggest change in his life, and he doesn't even know if he's doing it right.

he has a ghost of a smile on his lips, "yeah. stand in the rain."

the two of you stand in the rain with no clear motive of leaving anytime soon. after a few moments have passed, you placed the coffee besides the headstone and faced the tall man besides you.

"let's go?"

you nod silently, letting dazai hold your hand softly as he guides you away from the grave.

#bsd #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #dazai x reader #dazai osamu x y/n #dazai osamu x you #dazai x you #dazai x y/n #bsd dazai x reader #dazai imagines #dazai scenarios #dazai..... just dazai #bungou stray dogs #osamu dazai #bungou stray dogs dazai osamu #yatsugareboyfwrites

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xo-cuteplosion-xo · 3 years

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I don't know if this counts as a comfort request, can you do a Chuuya and Dazai comfort request of them comforting/saving the reader from a abusive parent?

Yes, this is, of course, a comfort request, if it helps you feel better, than it counts. I’m sorry if this doesn't live up to expectations though, abuse is one of the few things I struggle with writing for personal reasons (don’t worry, it’s nothing physical, just a lot of mental strain loves), so it won’t be detailed or thoroughly explained, more hinted/briefly mentioned. Since the request was vague, I was unsure what kind you needed, so I went with what I’m more comfortable writing. With that out of the way, here are 2 small drabbles.

Saved from an abusive household (comfort fic) |Dazai, Chuuya x Reader|

Warning: Emotional and (maybe some hints to physical) abuse

Words- 1141 (combining both characters totals).

Dazai-

590 words

To say he was angry was an understatement. He never understood why his emotions were so, so uncontrolled when it came to you. He was hardly in terms that he may actually love you. With the wind blowing over your face, whipping through your hair, he couldn’t help it. Noticing every mark, the tears, everything. He noticed it despite how you acted like everything was fine. The hoarseness of your tone was too great a signal that, well, you had been crying longer than he had been standing here. Dazai wanted to know, no, he needed to know who had made you so upset. He felt, odd as it may sound, protective. He would never strike out against you or raise his voice. He’d never hurt you, not in any way. So the flinch you made when all he wanted was to cup your face, to whisper that he loved you, it hurt. He couldn’t keep his face from showing the shock. His eyes darting around for any other signs. Clearly, he’d noticed before, but you always rode it off.

Standing within the brutal rain, you watched Dazai with a clouded mind. There are… many ways that often go unnoticed to the public. While cuts are difficult to hide, the scars on the mind… are impossible to see. What is not shown on the surface is never seen. Anxiety, depression, social awkwardness, the flinch brought on by a loud noise or voice, the shaky trembles of hands when being scolded. Signs that go unnoticed, so as Dazai looked at you with eyes full of anger and pain, he waited until you flew to his chest and broke down. His hands never once left your back. His voice a mere whisper as he ran fingers and told you the best news of your life. “You can live with me. It isn’t much, but its, it’s better than going back there.” His voice held so much anger, disgust, and pain you thought he may drop you in bed, then run to kill the two who told you over and over how much they loved you, only to contradict themselves.

He did something along the lines of that. When you were asleep in an oversized shirt and a pair of sweatpants far too long for your legs, he sipped from the agency-provided room, and well, he went straight to the place he knew you lived. It happened to be on your file in the agency. He didn’t bother knocking, but instead picked the front door lock with skilled ease, and underneath the clap of thunder and flash of white light, he slid inside. Dragging water into the room where two older adults lay. As if they didn't notice their child's absence. So pulling out his gun, he shot at a perfect angle. A direct middle between heads. He watched them scramble awake, only to see he was already gone within shadows. He played the part of a demon for you tonight. Raising their paranoia as far as he could, before appearing with a dramatic flash of lighting having calculated the right timing. He warns them if they ever tried to make themselves the victims, or if they set a pinky on your skin, he’d make their lives a living hell. After all, he was once Dazai Osamu, the demon prodigy, the youngest mafia executive. It wasn't a title he liked anymore, but he would admit returning to such a mentality for a bit would be alright, if it meant protecting you from pain.

Chuuya-

551 words

Beneath the rays of moonlight showering through a ginger held you tightly in his arms. Tonight he played the part of the big spoon, cuddling you close to keep you safe. It was always like this in storms. His arms wrapped around you, running down your arms. His lips on top of your in passionate breaks here and there. The two shared wine and laughed away the storm. Every time you jumped, he dropped to kiss your shoulders and between your neck. He kept trying to comfort you with all he could. He never felt it was enough. Especially after the ones that were within seconds of another. The louder the tremble, the more you shook, so when four or five repeated in a row he worried. Sure, it was normal to be scared of storms, but you were scared of the noise in general. It was an issue he had hated because, well, we all know Chuuya likes to yell a lot. He never realized till he was actually angry with a coworker, the flinch you make is an expectation, like your bracing for something. That’s how he found out. The next morning, how you claimed to be too sick to go home. The way you wanted to stay with him on your week off. How you'd rather just keep working.

“I’ll kill them.” It wasn’t anger directed at you, and he kept his tone soft, despite how difficult it was. Behind his clenched teeth, dagger-like glare, and the snarl, he was positive he’d frightened you accidentally. “Let me kill ‘em.” He grumbled, shoving his gloves into pockets as he tried to reel in his temper. He doesn't give two shits if they are your parents. So telling him no is frustrating. Clearly, if they did this, if they could be cruel enough to make their child afraid, then they didn’t deserve somebody so forgiving and kind like you.

He let you stay the day with him. There was no way he’d make you go home. Not when he’d seen how terrified you were when he tried pushing you out the door. He’d cuddled and spoiled you rotten with gifts all day. And when you finally crashed, his lips tapped your forehead, and he was gone. Searching through records till he found the address. He was straight to the point, breaking a window with a nice kick. His feet heavy with gravity as he grabbed the collars of those two blind bastards. Yes, he knew he could make it worse. However, that would only happen if they were not afraid of him. An overprotective guard dog. Trust me, this is one loyal bastard you never want to cross. He couldn’t kill them, but he could hurt them. He could yell at the top of his lungs and shout in their ears. Send them in walls, maybe break a finger, or two. On his way out, when the couple stood shaking with fear, his head tilted back just enough to see the scene he’d made. “Hurt them again, and I won’t listen. You’re really lucky, my baby has a golden heart that forgives so easily." He half-expected them to call the cops, but he guessed that meant angering the mafia more. What could he say, he was a pretty well-known man.

Tags (if you wish to be added send an ask) : @jadegreenimmortality

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kittydripuwu · 3 years

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Heyyy I just found your blog! I have a request: a dazai x reader angst fic about pmdazai having a so, and said so was always asking him to runaway together but dazai always postponed it and one day it's too late, because his so dies

hihi, thank u for requesting, i hope this is okay <3

too late | pm!dazai x reader

words - 1168

warnings - death, swearing, mentions of violence, not a happy ending!

genre - angst

there was alot of conflict going on in the port mafia at the time, and in your life. you had been dating dazai osamu, a young port mafia executive. he was a cold and bitter person, never had mercy for others and never showed interest in anyone. anyone but you. you had meant everything to him. you made him feel ways he's never felt with someone before.

he was busy and his work was filled with blood, torture, crimes and death. you hated how busy he had been recently and you most of all hated how you felt that you always needed to be in hiding. it often felt like you were suffocating; unable to get out of this mess. even though you loved dazai with your whole heart, you hated seeing him like this, all you wanted was to runaway to some far away place with him, and start over.

running away. it was an idea you had brought up to him multiple times. he agreed when you first told him, he said he wanted to get away aswell but he said it could only happen later in the future. you understood because, when the mafia was in conflict, he had alot of work to do and didnt have time to runaway and leave. its never as easy as it seemed.

the mafia was currently involved in a huge conflict with another criminal organization that was a previous mafia ally. they were constantly being attacked and had to fight back. dazai told you to stay at home and not leave for anything unless it was food. he made sure no one in the mafia knew about your relationship so that he can keep you as safe as possible.

you would occasinally ask him from time to time, when you can run away, but he kept saying "soon" or "later" and he constantly kept postponing. it made you frustrated, you two would argue alot because of it, causing him to leave alot during arguments. leaving you confused and upset. all you wanted was to get away.

you were laying on your bed thinking, when you heard someone walk in your appartment.

"osamu? is that you?" you asked, walking out of the bedroom.

you instantly felt something hit you on the back of your head. you saw 3 men standing above you before you blacked out.

next thing you knew, you were in a cold, dark room, tied up with tape over your mouth. your head was pounding as you regained consciousness. where were you? who had knocked you out? what time was it? where was dazai? you felt real fear, for once, dazai wasnt there to protect you.

dazai and his subordinates had finally fought off the group of people sent to kill him, he was exhuasted after a long day of killing. he was walking home down an alleyway to avoid being seen on the street, when a man came up to him.

"you're the mafioso who killed our troops today arent you" he said with an angry voice.

"hm? me?" dazai replied jokingly.

"give us what we want or you're precious little girlfriend is as good as dead" he said to him.

dazai froze. did he just hear this guy correctly?

"what the fuck do you mean" he replied.

"we have her and you wont get her back unless you give us what we want" the man said, beginning to laugh.

the reason for the conflict was money. the ex - ally organization wanted a big sum of money from the mafia, but they wouldnt it give up that easily, resulting in conflict.

"where the fuck is she" dazai asked, pulling out his gun and pointing it to the man's head.

"guess you'll have to find out" said the man.

two shots were heard in that alleyway, and for anyone who would have come even a minute after that, would have seen a man laying on the ground, dead.

dazai was angry. he was furious. this was the last thing he thought would happen. this was out of his control.

he ran back home to your appartment, calling his subordinates on the way and telling them to be ready to infilitrate the enemy's base at any given moment. he looked through every room in your apartment only to find it empty and deserted. this made his blood run cold.

at this point, his anger was out of control, anyone who stepped in his way would be dead, anyone who tried to fucking touch you would be dead within seconds. he couldnt stand not knowing where you were.

meanwhile, you were still in this room, head pounding, crying, and wishing you could be with dazai, when a man came into the room and brought you to a large hall, where he sat you on a table in the middle, and held a gun to your head, knowing dazai would come to save you.

when dazai and his subordinates got to the base, they killed everyone who they didnt recognize, all of the troops who were gaurding the place, everyone was as good as dead. walking into the main building, he saw you sitting on the table, helpless, and in tears with a man standing behind you and pointing a gun to the back of your head. dazai pulled out his gun and instantly shot the man, and coming towrds you, picking you up and untying you.

he hugged you as you began to cry, holding you tight in his arms, before setting you down to hold your hand and walk beside him. as you were heading out of the building, you heard gunshots, quite a few of them, thinking more armed men were to attack.

that was before you realised that, you were the one who had been shot.

one of the armed guards was laying on the ground, barely alive but has just enough strength to be able to point his gun and shoot you from the back.

you fell down, and dazai caught you in his arms. you began to cry in pain and agony. and so did dazai. dazai began to cry. this was the first time you have ever seen him cry.

"d-dazai, i'm sorry" you coughed out.

"n-no.. why y/n, WHY" dazai screamed, holding you close to him in his arms. he felt like he was drowning, he couldnt breath.

"r-runaway for m-me one day okay?" you said, tears flowing from your eyes, pain running through your body.

his eyes widened. he rememebered all the times you two argued about running away, about how you wanted to leave, to be able to start over with him, to live a normal life. he regretted everytime he told you no, everytime he postponed the time, everytime he yelled about it.

"y-y/n im so sorry" he said, breathing heavily, and tears flowing from his eyes.

"i-i love y-you dazai" you said, and those were your last words.

he felt your heart stop beating, and his breathing only became heavier, for he knew, it was now too late.

#bsd dazai #bsd imagines #bsd #bsd x reader #dazai x reader #dazai angst #bungou stray dogs #port mafia dazai #dazai x you #ria writes

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dreamkidddream · 3 years

Note

Congrats on 200💖 can you do quote no.6 for chuuya 💘

Thank you ♥️♥️ and of course! This made me simp even harder if that’s possible lmao. Reader is gender neutral

TW: Minor cursing and minor mention of suggestive themes, but nothing extremely graphic is mentioned

Prompt: “I want to marry you.” with Chuuya!

“Hey.”

You looked up from where you were laying on his chest. You both had such a long day, and you were so sore and blissed out from...previous activities that you barely moved your head. “Hm?”

“I want to marry you.”

Well that was enough to make you choke on your spit and shoot straight up.

“HUH?”

“I said I want to marry you. Is that a problem?”, you thought he was gonna be loud and chew you out, but he didn’t. If anything he looked calm, speaking softly. Did he really mean it?

“You-you want to...marry me?”

“Of course I do, I would be stupid if I didn’t,” he gently started to rub circles into your sides. “Why would I not? I mean you’re already mine but I want to show you off with my last name, let people really know who you belong to. Besides, you deserve to have a ring on your finger. A ring that I buy you,” he paused. “Do you-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence. Absolutely, I want to! More than anything in the world! It’s just,” you took a deep breath, “would we have the time to with work? I rather not be bloody and bruised on our wedding day.”

“So let’s ask Mori to give us some time off. A well deserved vacation for constantly working our asses off.”

Was he being serious about this? You would be a liar if you didn’t say you dreamed of this moment before (as cliche as it sounds), and it has crossed your mind more than once. Just seeing him in a well fitted tux, hair delicately falling on his shoulders, looking at you with so much adoration in his eyes. It always made you want to tear up, because that would be the day that your love will forever be solidified (even though you both love each other now, it was just a different feeling when you’re actually married).

Chuuya grasped your chin, “I have a lot of regrets that I have to live with, and I don’t want not doing this to be one of them. You already make me the happiest man, you make me feel whole,” he sucked his teeth, a bright blush crawling on his face, “I don’t want to propose to you like this damn it! No way!”

You felt your eyes tearing up, hands trembling. “First thing tomorrow I’m asking- no, telling Mori that we need a vacation! If I’m doing this, there is no way that I’m half-assing. You deserve the best, (Y/N), so I’m doing this right! We’re going somewhere out of the country, on a private island, just the two of us. No Mori, no Mafia, no Dazai, no one to interrupt.”

He held your hands gently, and latched them with his, “I gave this a lot of thought. Let’s get married when we leave (Y/N). So that you can come back as a Nakahara. Let me give you the world, since you became mine.”

You were full blown crying at this point.

“Shit (Y/N)! I didn’t mean to make you cry!”

“Chuuya they’re,” you sniffled wiping at your eyes, “they’re happy tears!”

“Yeah but you’re suppose to cry happy tears when I’m down on one knee, not now!”

You tackled hugged him and brought him down with you, laughing and crying all in one (and you could see him smiling wide too). You were beyond ready to become a Nakahara, and if you could expect the same Chuuya that’s you’ve been in love with now, you’re more than excited to spend the rest of your life with him.

#bsd reader insert #bsd chuuya x reader #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs reader insert #bungou stray dogs x reader #chuuya nakahara #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya x reader #bungou stray dogs #bsd #dream’s 100 + 200 followers prompt special 💙

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annie-blackhill · 3 years

Text

Aight, I know that I've been away for awhile but now I'm back and I have ideas babes!

____________________________________

Warnings:

Depression

Anxiety

Past panic attacks

Mentions of past domestic violence

Abusive childhood

Post traumatic events unconscious coping mechanisms

Unconscious flinching out of instinct

Sudden panic when hearing fighting between a man and a woman screaming very near

Loss of breath

Domestic violence

Blood

Panic attack

____________________________________

Dazai Osamu

________________

Safe and Sound

________________

Dazai and (Y/N) have been in a relationship for two years now. They're so in love with each other that everyone at the ADA are questioning the fact as to why they weren't married yet.

Dazai really loves (Y/N) and she loves him just as much back. They both really love each other and they both understand each other the most too.

But there were still some things that Dazai didn't know.

The main reason why (Y/N) and Dazai weren't married yet was because Dazai wanted to get her parents' blessings first. He was so excited to get their blessings, to meet the people who brought his perfectly imperfect lover into this cruel, tainted world.

He was eternally grateful to them for bringing her into this world, although the cruel world had tainted her and made her the broken person she is now, he still loves her for her. She's the only reason he has to live now. And he loves her for that.

Whenever Dazai asked (Y/N) about her family, she would tell him stories about when she was a child and how her dad would bring them to the beach every weekend because they lived near to the beach or when they went back to school shopping together.

But that was it. Her dad never really appeared in her other stories much. He would pop in at some point of the tale and then disappear. Her mum, was mostly the one to witness her achievements.

But (Y/N) has never described her parents' proud expressions whenever she achieved something.

At times, when Dazai did pry lightly, she would turn the story somewhere else, mostly to her friends.

He knew that she didn't really have a good primary school life, seeing as she's told him before that she's been bullied at that time. She's described them as the loneliest years of her life and how much she's hated herself those times.

Whenever (Y/N) talked about friends, it would be about her friends from her high school life. Her high school was much more on the better side.

She had been a prefect in her high school years, since her first year to her last year.

The only bad memories she had was when she realized that being in the first class and being the top of the class meant the other students would sabotage her and the two times in her senior years where she had to fight back as self-defense when she tried to break up a fight and they started to hit her too.

Dazai wasn't daft. Of course, he picked up on all the signs she showed that she wasn't really fond of her parents.

At first, he thought that it was just because of a small fight they had. But two years have passed in their relationship and (Y/N) hasn't cracked even the least to tell him why her childhood stories are only until a certain age or why she's never told him how proud her parents were of her.

Dazai was worried. In the end, he decided that maybe her parents just have a slightly tight relationship with each other.

Dazai decided to not ask. He let it slide and slip past them. He never touched the subject of her parents for the half of the second year of their relationship.

As the other half year of their relationship rolled in, Dazai and (Y/N) had saved enough money to buy a cozy little apartment near the ADA and move out of the ADA's hostel.

The day they were moving in, the couple were greeted by the middle aged woman who lived next door with her husband and 4 year old daughter.

She had been a very sweet auntie that welcome the sweet couple to the apartment complex with open arms and a sweet smile.

More than once had she cooked good food for the duo since they always returned late from work.

"You two kinda remind me of how my husband and I used to be when we were younger and so in love," the auntie would say to the duo all the time.

The little 4 year old would also come by and play around with the loving couple whenever they were on leave.

Auntie would always try persuade her daughter from "disturbing the lovely young couple" as she would always say to her daughter.

"It's alright, auntie! I love kids! (N/N)-chan and I are planning to have a few little munchkins like this when we're married too!" Dazai would assure her, while playing with the little girl.

But there was always something about how (Y/N) would send the auntie knowing looks as though she knew something that he didn't all the time, so he decided to pay more attention too.

When Dazai did start to notice more, he noticed the dark bags under the auntie's eyes and he noticed how tired she always was.

The more he noticed the more concerning she looked to him day by day.

"Auntie, would you like to join us for tea, today? Osamu and I wanted to play with that sweet little angel," (Y/N) invited the auntie.

"WHO'S THAT AT THE DOOR???!!!" the booming voice of the male from inside the auntie's house shook (Y/N) to the core and it ignited old memories that she didn't have to remember.

"Auntie, you really should come. Osamu insists! You know how he gets when he doesn't get what he wants! He'll be whining all day long like a little baby!" (Y/N) tried to convince the auntie discreetly.

"I ASKED 'WHO'S THAT AT THE DOOR'! ANSWER ME YOU USELESS WOMAN!!!" the man shouted from the bedroom again.

(Y/N) flinched. She was regretting sending Dazai to the store now. They had been running low on groceries and she had sent Dazai to the store, as she would say "please contribute you're lazy arse to do something in this household, my love" and he had carried his lazy arse to the store near the apartment complex.

After Dazai had left was when she started to hear the shouts and yells from the next door auntie's house.

Even as the bad memories plunged her being, she had forced herself to go and at least try to save the auntie before anything bad happened to either her or her daughter.

But even then, if you looked closely at (Y/N) you could see that she was trembling badly and that she could barely stand on her two feet.

"Auntie, come on please!" (Y/N) begged in a mutter exclamation.

"I'm sorry," the auntie murmured before closing the door on her with an apologetic smile.

"Auntie, no!" (Y/N) exclaimed.

And that was when she heard the terrible screams and the yell. The cries of the little 4 year old teared her soul apart into the smallest of pieces.

"NO, NO, NO!!!!" (Y/N) yelled as her mind turned blank and the memories flooded her brain.

Her mind turned so blank that she forgot that she was slamming her fists onto the door and that she had an ability.

The memories of how her father would come home drunk and lay on the sofa. Of how her mother had found out that he was having an affair. Of how, he would beat the living daylights out of her mother.

(Y/N) never told Dazai any of that. She felt ashamed to tell him that her childhood was the most terrible thing to ever happen to her.

A blood curdling screamed pierced the air along with a loud cry and that was enough for (Y/N) to snap out of her traumas and remember that there were lives on the stake right now.

She finally regained her senses fully and remembered that she has an ability.

Using her elemental abilities, she bent the wooden front door so much that it broke it half and broke off of it's hinges. The lower half flew to the side of the corridor almost hitting her while the other half flew into the house and hit the middle aged aggressive man that was about to beat his wife over the head with a glass flower vase.

The auntie stood in shock as the younger woman ran to her and hugged her.

"Auntie! Are you alright?! Are you bleeding anywhere?! Do you have any fatal injuries?!" (Y/N) questioned quickly as she held the shorter's woman's face in her hands and looked her over, making sure that she wasn bleeding anywhere majorly.

"Why you little freak show! You must one of those freak shows that are born with those little abilities! How dare you interfere with someone else's family problems?! Youngsters these days don't know how to respect their elders! Let me teach you then!" the man yelled at (Y/N) as she stood in front of the trembling woman, making sure that the older woman was perfectly hidden behind her.

(Y/N) slipped a hand into the back pocket of her jeans. She clutched the holster of her gun.

"Step away, right now before I seriously hurt you," (Y/N) warned as she held her left hand out to stop him from coming any nearer to them.

The man took off his belt and folded it into two, straightening it out with a snap, which caused both women to flinch as more dark memories flooded into (Y/N)'s mind.

"I said STOP RIGHT THERE!" (Y/N) warned yet again. It was against the law for her to shoot him and she couldn't even use her abilities against him as he was a normal civilian.

She was trying her best to not hurt anyone here and let the civilian authorities handle the ruthless man.

The moment the man raised his arm was the same time (Y/N) slipped her gun out of her back pocket and shot his arm.

The man let out a cry of pain and fell back from the sudden pain. He looked at the younger woman, wide eyed as she held the gun tight and pointed the barrel to his forehead.

"Armed Detective Agency member, (L/N) (Y/N)," (Y/N) announced as she showed him her ADA card.

The man backed away more at that. His eyes wide as he realized that she was a member of the authorities.

"(Y/N)?!" Dazai shouted as he entered only to see the bloodied situation of the man and the two trembling women.

"Where's the child?!" Dazai asked immediately.

"Sh-she's in her room," the auntie answered meekly.

Dazai nodded. He looked down at the man, disgust, venom and a desire to kill clear on his face.

The man even then, still tried to gain Dazai's pity as Dazai was a fellow man too.

"S-sir! All I was trying to do was educate my wife to be more better and obedient! I wasn't trying to do anything other than that! I swear!" the man said.

That only made Dazai even more disgusted as he spat on the man's face in disgust. He stomped his foot harshly on the man's hand that was holding the belt.

"You disgust me you old fool! You're an utter disgrace of a human being! I'm disgusted to see people like you are still alive! Terrorizing women's lives! Making them only feel like obedient dolls that should only do whatever you say!

I'd rather kill you then let you go to jail and then get back out after a few months! People like you shouldn't exist at all in the first place!

Your wife is supposed to be your life partner! Not some maid or toy that would do everything you say! You're supposed to live life and do everything together!

I can't believe you even had a child with her only to state your dominance over her and make her unable to run away from you!

You disgust me!" Dazai yelled at the man as he twisted his foot on the man's hand more and stomped it over and over and over again, intent on breaking it.

(Y/N) shielded the auntie's sight form her lover's rage as he broke the man's hand and rendered it completely shattered under his shoe.

"Osamu..." (Y/N) called out for him.

Dazai raised his head to look at his lover, tears streaming from his eyes from utter pure white hot rage.

"Are you alright? Are the two of you alright? Is that little angel injured?" Dazai's voice turned so soft that (Y/N)'s heart broke at the mere sound of it. He sounded as scared as she was feeling.

Dazai went over to the two women and squeezed them into a light hug, he buried his face into the crook of (Y/N)'s neck. (Y/N) hugged his waist, her arm practically limp, but her hand still clutching the gun tight just in case the man tried anything, her ear was placed against his frantically beating heart.

The older woman had wrapped her arm over his back and was hugging him tight, scared out of her life and grateful for the presence of the two youngsters at the moment.

"Osamu... We need to call the police and the ADA, specifically Kunikida-san. We need to explain a hell load to them all," (Y/N) murmured lightly to the shaken man.

Dazai nodded lightly at her statement before pressing a light kiss to the crook of her neck and removing himself from the hold of the two women.

"Auntie, do get your little girl and wait outside of the house. (Y/N) and I will call the police and our co-worker to handle the mess here," Dazai informed the older woman.

She merely nodded, not trusting her voice to be strong enough to answer him as she went to the little girl's bedroom to get her out of the house.

Once the child and woman were safely out of the house, Dazai dialed Kunikida while (Y/N) dialed the police station.

Both at had arrived at the house. The man was brought away on a stretcher by the paramedics as (Y/N) was explaining to the police as to why she had used her gun.

Kunikida and Dazai, both standing on either side of her, trying to justify the reason as to why she did so and the police accepted the reasons in the end.

Dazai said his end of the story and then they moved on to ask the wife and the child about their ends of the story.

"(Y/N), you know you shouldn't have used your gun. I'll have to confiscate it for now. You'll only be allowed to use it on missions. I'm sorry but those are the rules that you need to follow after that little act of 'misusage' as the police says," Kunikida sighed as he took the gun lightly from her slightly slackened grasp on it now.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I was scared and he raised the belt above me, ready to hit at any moment---" her voice cracked and she couldn't continue the sentence anymore.

Kunikida held her hand softly as Dazai brought (Y/N) into a soft side hug, holding her softly and rubbing her shoulders.

"I know and that's why I'm the one that's supposed to be saying sorry for taking away your gun, (Y/N)," Kunikida said.

"Hey, hey. It's alright, the both of you. I'll pull some strings here and there and make sure, (Y/N) gets her gun back, alright? Easy peasy!" Dazai lightened the mood up a little.

"Sigh, thank you, Dazai. For making this easier for all of us," Kunikida said before excusing himself, saying that he needs to fill out a few more forms at the police station and make sure that neither Dazai or (Y/N) get accused for anything that they didn't do.

Dazai proceeded to lead (Y/N) back to their little home as the auntie and her daughter were led to the second ambulance by the new paramedics.

(Y/N) leaned into Dazai as she curled up onto him. He held her close and tight, knowing full well that she was shaken up from the encounter.

"Osamu... Remember how you always asked for the truth about my childhood... What you witnessed today that was happening to that auntie and her daughter? That's the real truth to my childhood.

But no one saved us. And as I grew and my dad lived his other life with his little affair, he would come and go to let off steam on my mother and my mother started to blame me for how miserable our lives were.

That's why I never had a past occupation like everyone else. I had been working with the ADA ever since I was 18 and I ran away from her.

The president helped me. He helped my mother by providing her safety and a new home.

My father is still out there, somewhere with that other woman.

And I... I've never seen my mother since the day I ran away. She must be happier now," (Y/N) said, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Dazai hugged her closer and kissed her forehead.

"It's alright, love. You have me and the other ADA members for you as well now. Hell, even the Port Mafia is with you right now after how much you helped them out when we were all having trouble with The Guild and Fyodor. You have all of us here for you.

Most importantly, my love, you have me. I won't let anyone so much as hurt you even a little bit and go off the hook.

I swear," Dazai murmured softly into her ear and she snuggled closer to him, their feets touching and their hands interwined with each other's.

____________________________________

"Port Mafia strikes again as a man who was arrested yesterday due to commiting domestic violence was murdered by them brutally in his own jail cell much to the surprise of all the police officers present.

Police officers were considering requesting the Armed Detective Agency to further an investigation at first, but has now decided against it as the chief of the police station has deemed it as a waste since the man was a criminal," the news reporter announced on the morning news as (Y/N) sipped her (bitter/sweet/neutral) (coffee/tea) and Dazai adorable chewed his crab sandwich.

"Who did you ask to do it?" (Y/N) asked immediately as soon as Dazai swallowed.

"Chuuya was more than willing after I told him the story. I didn't even have to tell him which police station and cell that scum was in, he ran off and figured it all out himself and finished the job," Dazai answered before continuing to adorably eat his crab sandwich.

"That scum deserved it," (Y/N) agreed as she continue sipping her (coffee/tea).

____________________________________

Awareness Note:

Stop domestic violence. The pain lingers on even after the relationship has ended. No one should have to be bounded to a spouse that only views them as an object and an inferior instead of a human being and an equal. No one has to go through physical and mental pain with a monster that prefers to take control of everything. No one has to go through such pain.

Marriage isn't pain! Marriage is a bond of two people who love each other!

If it hurts both physically and mentally, then it's not love.

Know the difference.

#stopdomesticviolence #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu x reader #dazai x y/n #dazai x you #dazaibsd #dazai oneshot #dazai x reader #dazai x reader fluff #comfort

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shadyteacup · 3 years

Note

Could you write something where reader has a nightmare about port mafia Dazai going after her, when Dazai wakes up to her freaking out in her sleep he tries waking her up and when she does she still thinks she’s dreaming? Eventually she calms down but feels really bad picturing Dazai like that :(( angst to comfort

I'm back from the dead! I didn't use fem pronouns because I didn't have to, but since u requested it, the reader is fem .. I feel that this is more of a comfort fic if the reader is Dazai himself, lol.. Sorry it took so long..

Osamu Dazai x Fem! Reader||Warnings: violence, nightmare.|| Angst to comfort|| Word count: 1482.

Nightmare

You had known Dazai since his mafia days. You were a friend of Nakahara Chuuya, and had bumped into Dazai when the you and Chuuya were meeting up after your school. You knew that Chuuya was involved in gangs and probably violence, but he was your friend, and you trusted him.

"So, how was school?"

He asked you, hands in his pockets. It had been a few weeks since he had contacted you. He looked different, almost as if these past few weeks have scarred him. His clothes were more expensive. You could tell by their fancy look and glimmer. His jacket was probably genuine leather. He adorned a strange but cute hat too.

"It was okay. Where have you been?"

He glanced at you, raising a bow.

"You must have robbed a bank or something to afford that jacket. It looks really dope, by the way."

He shrugged, avoiding your gaze.

Sighing, he began talking as you two made your way to the park.

...

Sitting down on the swing, you gave the ground a light kick, enough to rock you slightly.

Chuuya sat on the swing adjacent to yours.

"So you joined the mafia. Interesting. "

He was confused as to why you weren't alarmed about his revelation.

"And you're okay with that?"

You shrugged.

"As long as you don't get me killed, or anyone I care about is hurt, I'm cool. Besides, you always find a way to fall into trouble. This isn't new."

"Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you."

"Great."

You heard shuffling behind you. Without turning back, you said,

"You can join us, you know. You don't have to keep hiding. You're doing a really bad job anyways."

"Who're you talking to?"

"The spy in the bushes."

Chuuya swiftly turns around, ready to attack, when Dazai peeps out of the green mesh.

"Dazai, what the hell are you doing here?!"

And that's how you had met your boyfriend. You had seen him in action a couple of times too. It scared you, but you were able to appreciate the human in him.

...

It was pitch black. You couldn't see a thing. Your hands were probably tied behind your back. You could feel the rough threads of the rope dig into your wrists. It hurt. You tried maneuvering your way out of the knots, only for them to grow tighter. Wincing at the pain, you tried to sit up. You were lying on the cold, hard floor of some abandoned building. Your captor was yet to reveal himself.

Pushing yourself up, you quickly got a hold over yourself. Trying to maintain balance, you tried your best to peer through the dark. Soon enough, your eyes adjusted, and you could see that you were in a small room. You could spot the door. Nothing sharp resided near you. You couldn't cut off the rope. Well, you just have to run out of here then. As you were about to reach the door, it flew open.

You gasped, taking a few steps back.

"Thought you could escape? How cute."

Dazai stood at the door. You felt relieved. Maybe he was here to help you! But the look on his face and the sneer at his lips said otherwise.

"Dazai! Thank God you're here. Help me out of these ropes-"

You were cut short as you were suddenly slammed into a wall. The impact and the sudden movement made you gasp.

Dazai stood in front of you, his hands gripping your shoulders tightly, and his knuckles had turned white from the pressure he was applying.

You were sure his fingers would break through the cloth of your shirt and draw blood from your shoulders.

One of his eyes was covered in bandages, while the other was glaring down at you. His entire aura was different.

No. Rather, it was something you hadn't sensed in a long time.

His long black trench coat hung loosely over his shoulders as he towered over your shaking form.

"In case I haven't made it clear; You're not getting out of here. Not alive, that is."

He threw you forcefully to the side. You banged into a wooden desk. The edge hit the right side of your torso. You winced in pain before dropping to the ground. You felt a kick on your stomach. Your entire body lurched forward at the impact.

"Hah! Stop! Please..."

Your words were futile. He kept carelessly plunging his hard boot into your torso. You were sure that you'd broken a few ribs. They had probably pierced your lungs. You could feel blood rise up your throat.

"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.. what.. did I do..?"

You kept repeating these words, trying to get him to stop. Somewhere along the process your ropes had loosened, but didn't have the energy to free yourself. It would be in vain anyways, since he won't let you step foot outside the door.

After a few more kicks, he finally stopped, crouching down to your eye level.

"You're so pathetic. Goodbye, Y/N."

He pulled out a gun and shot you in the face.

...

You jerked awake, sweat glistening on your forehead and your breaths were shaky and uneven. Dazai woke up from the sudden movement, trying to guage the situation.

"What's wrong?"

His voice sent shivers down your spine, and you scurried off the bed. You placed a hand over your torso, trying to find the bruises that he had probably left.

"Y/N?"

Dazai asks as he slowly makes his way over to you. When you notice him coming tour way, you panic.

"No! Don't come closer! Please! I'm sorry!"

Dazai froze in his place. He knew you were having a nightmare, he just didn't know he was the one making it scary.

"Okay, I won't. Tell me what's wrong."

You stood shaking, back to the wall as you tried making sense of your surroundings. You were able to make out the bed and the bedroom. The room that the two of you shared. It was dark. Probably nighttime. You were just having a bad dream. That wasn't real. This is. Dazai won't hurt you. He isn't in the mafia anymore.

"Y-you won't.. hurt me?"

Your frightened stare and broken whispers broke Dazai's heart. What did you dream? Did you see him as a monster? Is he being a monster to you? Dreams are only reflections of our subconscious minds. So do you fear him?

"No, I won't hurt you."

He says, trying to calm you down.

"Promise?"

You whispered.

"I promise. I won't ever hurt you. Ever."

You gulped down your fear and slowly inched over to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. He stool completely still, fearing that if he moved even a little, he might scare you. You placed your cheek on his chest, inhaling his scent. It really was him. It was your Dazai.

When you realized what had just happened, tears began flowing down your cheeks.

"I'm so sorry.."

You managed to say between sobs.

Dazai hesitantly placed his arms over you, gently rocking you.

"Shh.. Don't cry. It's okay now."

"I'm so sorry.."

"Why are you sorry, sweetheart? It was just a dream, right."

You nodded against his chest.

"But I made you the villain. You're not a bad guy. You're amazing. I don't know why... I can't think of a reason why I saw you.. like that.."

Dazai's heart broke a little more.

"Maybe I am a monster. I'm just too good at hiding it."

His ominous tone wasn't meant to warn you. It was a result of his own self hate. He hated that he used to be a monster. If he hadn't known you, then maybe a couple of years ago, he wouldn’t have thought twice before hurting you.

"No, you're not. You're a child hiding under a strong façade. "

Dazai's eyes widened at that.

"What?"

You pulled back, wiping your tears off your face.

"I saw it the first time we met. You were just a child who was asked to grow up too fast. You hadn't lived your childhood. Under all the threats, jests, murders and plans, you're but a scared child."

He just stared at you.

"That's part of the reason why I trust you. I know you didn't mean to harm. You were just told to. Now that you have a chance to do what you truly want to do, you choose to not harm. I really admire that about you."

You caressed his cheek in your palm.

"I don't know why I dreamt what I just did, but if there's one thing I know for sure, it's that you would never hurt me. I trust you."

Those three words.

'I trust you'.

They were enough for Dazai. They meant so much to him.

With a shaky whisper, he muttered.

"Thank you."

You smiled, pulling him in an embrace.

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unloved-cadillac · 3 years

Note

When I read the “I’m a dark person, you can request any fucked up shit/kinks” part I knew right away that this blog is a safe space for me heh. I’m so glad to have found your blog.

I would like to request a Dazai x Reader (she/her) angst where the reader is a new member of the agency. She feels insecure because Dazai doesn't do his usual flirty stuff to her, but that's only because Dazai doesn't know how to deal with the feeling of real love, and one day, they have a talk about it- I would like it to start as an angst but it can end with angst, fluff, maybe a mixture, maybe with some NSFW elements after the confession (if there is one), it's all up to you and I'll be OK with anything!

C/n: yes this is a safe place I’m glad you feel safe here. This is an amazing request. Thanks for requesting and I hope that you enjoy🤍

——————————————————————————

The Truth. (Dazai x Reader)

Dazai was a flirt. Everyone knew that. He would charm girls and use the line of “committing double suicide” with him before he got turned down. He did that with every girl.

Excluding you.

You were new to the ADA and Dazai did talk to you. You thought you and him had a good professional and casual relationship but something was off. Dazai never did his usual flirting with you. It did hurt your ego because did he just not see you worth his flirting? We’re you not pretty enough or funny enough? You always thought it was the former.

You had definitely developed feelings for the bandaged man. He was kind, funny and a goofball. But you kept those feelings to yourself, not wanting to make things awkward by confessing and getting turned down.

Recently, Dazai had just stopped talking to you. You don’t what it was you did or didn’t do but you couldn’t even find out because he refused to even look at you. If this is what having a broken heart feels like, you were not a fan. You had even asked Kunikida and Atsushi what was up with him and they didn’t know.

“Maybe you should just talk to him, Y/n. Maybe he needs to talk but just doesn’t know how.” Atsushi says and Kunikida nods in agreement.

“Whatever it is you better sort it out. He has been acting weird lately and it’s creeping me out.”

You smile, thank them and then head back to your seat. You worked on some files then Dazai entered. You looked up and saw him look at you. You flashed him a smile which he ignored and sat next to Atsushi. You sighed and continued to write until the work day ended. You waited until everybody left and it was just you and Dazai in the office.

He was about to leave but you grabbed his hand and held him. “D-Dazai. Are you okay?” You ask, your head down afraid to look at him. Dazai doesn’t answer for a while but then he pulls his hand away from yours.

“I’m fine. I gotta go.”

“Dazai you’ve been avoiding me. Did I do something wrong? Did I offend you? I’m so sorry if I did. You’re a good friend to me and I don’t want-”

“Y/n just stop.” He abruptly stops you and you look at him. Dazai looked at you like..he almost hated you. It was so scary. But it confused you to the core. “I’m not in the mood to talk to you. So just, leave me alone.”

And that was the last time you spoke to him.

For about a week.

~~~~

You laid in your bed after work and sighed as you felt tears flow down the sides of your face as you think about Dazai. He shut you out just like that. Like you never existed. You got up and laid your face in your hands as you tried to catch your breath. The worst part:

You still loved him. He was still all you thought about. Hoping he was eating right, getting enough sleep and being his usual self.

You decided to head to the kitchen to get a glass of water to soothe your sore throat and to rehydrate. As you opened the two, there was frantic knocking on your door. “Jesus Christ. Coming!” You yell and look through the peep hole and you gasp when you see who it was.

“Dazai?” You say as you open the door and Dazai looks at you with panic in his eyes. He was soaking wet. His hair was messed up and he was panting.

“Y/n..”

“Get in here. It’s pouring out there.” You pull him in and he stands in front of you as you shut the door. “Wait here. I’ll get a towel.” You whisper and you go into your bedroom to get your towel. What was he doing here? And in the rain too.

Dazai looked around your apartment. It was the first time he was here. It was small yet convenient for a single girl living alone. You emerged from your room with a towel and handed it to him. He wiped his face and neck and then stared at you. “Dazai,” you being and look up at him, “what are you doing here?”

Dazai gulped slightly and took your hand in his and walked to the couch. He sat down and urged you to do the same. When you did, his head was lowered and you saw his shoulders start to shake.

He was crying.

“Dazai? Dazai. Hey. What happened? Look at me.” You cup his face and he wrapped his arms around you. He caught you by surprise and the way he was holding you now just made you so confused.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. I’m so sorry.” He whispers and you pull away from him, allowing him to speak clearly.

“I...I didn’t know how to deal with these feelings I have. You came into my life like a light that was so bright that it lit up my world. I knew that you meant much more to me than I thought. Y/n,” he holds your hand against his heart making you feel how fast it was racing for you, “this is yours. It’s always have been yours. I just didn’t know how to tell you. The way you looked at me with so much of love made me scared. And I decided to push you away and hurt you. But even then I still couldn’t forget you or these feelings. I...I love you, Y/n.” He whispers to you and your breath hitches.

Now that he was close to you, he could see how puffy your eyes were and how red they were as well. You let a few tears escape and Dazai is quick to wipe them away. “How could you be such an idiot?” You murmur as you hold his face. “I don’t know. Everything gets blurry when I’m with you.”

You chuckle as you pull him for a kiss. His lips were so cold and wet but it didn’t matter. He was here, confessing and apologizing. He loved you and he was scared. So scared that he didn’t know what else to do but push you away.

After kissing you, he laid on your chest and just listened to your heartbeat. You would have to wake him up to change into some dried clothes soon but now you were content in knowing the truth behind his distance.

——————————————————————————

“I love when Dazai.”

🖤🤍Thanks for reading🤍🖤

-Caddy.

#dazai x reader #dazai oneshot #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #dazai angst #dazai fluff #dazai imagines #bungou stray dogs dazai #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd anime #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs #bsd imagines

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weightlessrosewrites · 3 years

Text

Heartbreak Headcanons

A/N: some headcanons for Dazai, Chuuya, and Kunikida reacting to finding you on their doorstep after being rejected/broken up with. No abilities. Gender neutral reader TW: alcohol mention for Chuuya, mentions of suicide for Dazai. Masterlist

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Kunikida Doppo

He.. didn’t really know what he was expecting when he found you on his doorstep late into the evening. Honestly, he thought Dazai had come to pester him.

So he took a little longer to get to the door. Upon opening his door, he immediately regretted not getting there sooner seeing your tear-streaked face.

“ Sorry for arriving unannounced.. “ You hiccupped through a bitter smile. “ I.. didn’t know where else to go. “

Kunikida may not have been familiar with this type of situation, but you bet your ass he let you in and made you tea.

“ Would you like to talk about it? “ He’d inquire while wrapping a blanket around your body.

If yes, then he’d offer you advice and comfort, bring you tea and snacks. He’d try, and probably fail, to cheer you up, but it’s the thought that counts. After listening to what had happened, he also has a few choice words about it, and where the person who broke your heart could stick it.

But if you wish to not talk about it, then he’ll simply enjoy some peace and quiet with you. Maybe tell you about his day, or just how pissed off he got with Dazai.

Nevertheless, as long as you were smiling by the end of it, was all that mattered to him.

He loves you, after all, and he’d do nearly anything for you. He’d offer you his spare bed and invite you to stay the night, and really? How could you say no to such a gentlemen?

If, for whatever reason that Kunikida comes across the person who hurt you, he will absolutely give them a piece of his mind, but he’d never resort to threatening. Regardless, that person will never look at you again.

Dazai Osamu

Dazai was most not expecting you on a rainy Thursday night. But the subtle knock at his door had him up and heading to the foyer of his little house.

So imagine his surprise when he opened the door to find you crying, soaked from the rain, on his doorstep. His heart broke and immediately pulled you into a hug, taking a step back to close the front door.

If you’re worried about getting him soaked too, don’t. Dazai will gladly be soaked with you just so he can try and make you feel better. He’d hug you tight and not let go.

Wouldn’t make any jokes about committing with him; he knows he can’t joke about that when you’re in this state. Dazai wants you to live, if not for yourself, then for him.

There’s no talking, you can’t talk. Your throat burns from trying not to cry but the words are just not there. He doesn’t mind though, he’ll murmur for you to take your time and hold you close, humming softly. You don’t recognize the tune, but it’s soothing.

When you are ready to talk though, his front is just as wet as you are from the hug, not that he minds.

“ sorry.. I got you wet too.. “ you mumble as you pull away. He shook his head, “ nonsense, you’re important to me. I’ll do literally anything for you. “

Is the most childish of the three, hands down.

He’ll start cracking jokes to make you smile before he gets a set of clean clothes out for you, gently pushing you to take a shower and warm up, while he changes himself.

Whether you shower or not doesn’t matter, because some how he’s already got snacks and blankets ready in the living room for a movie sleepover. You don’t question it.

Once you’ve fallen asleep, he sends a series of threats to the person who hurt you. He’s up front about his past; Dazai has nothing to hide. And he makes sure the person knows it if they ever hurt you again.

Nakahara Chuuya

Listen.. he’s got eyes and ears all over the place. He knew what was coming, he just.. wasn’t aware it would happen so fast. Chuuya didn’t have time to prepare.

He didn’t expect you to show up at his flat at three in the morning. Your tears had since dried, and you just felt numb. You’d been dumped, and kicked out, and had no where to go.

So.. the only logical idea was to go see the angry redhead. You thought for sure you’d be in for a lecture but.. when Chuuya opened the door, the confused look he had only fell.

Seeing the state you were in hurt him. Wordless he reached forward and gently grabbed your wrist, tugging you into the darkened apartment.

“ ..I don’t have anywhere to go.. “ you mumbled. Chuuya hesitated for a moment, turning to face you as he raised a brow. “ You mean to tell me he kicked you out of your own apartment? “ Oh. Oh. This, Chuuya thought, would be so much fun.

You nodded slightly, staring at the pretty carpeted floor in shame. You could tell his was angry. Instead of yelling like you thought he would

Chuuya simply let out a heavy sigh, tugging you into a side hug. “ Bet you were expecting me to say ‘told you so’, or somethin’, hm? “ His voice was soft, and his hug was secure.

“ ..yeah. I should have listened to you. “ You’d mumbled as he led you to the living room. He shrugged, “ it’s part of being human. We’re not perfect; we’re flawed. We don’t learn unless we make mistakes. “

In the end, you both ended up haphazardly laying together on the couch drinking his expensive wine.

Out of all of them, Chuuya is the one who confronts the person who hurt you the morning after. While he threatens the person, he collects all your belongings and brings them back to his place.

After, he helps you sort out everything with you landlord, and your ex is kicked out. Chuuya knows that, as long as you’re with him, that the dark side isn’t as scary as it feels. He’s not afraid to get blood on his hands for you.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #doppo kunikida x reader #kunikida doppo x reader #kunikida doppo #doppo kunikida #dazai osamu x reader #osamu dazai x reader #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #nakahara chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #nakahara chuuya #chuuya nakahara

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