#and that braincell is MATTHEW

[darthstitch]

Stork Delivery Service

Okay, so Matthew thinks he's got this whole Raven of the Dreaming business down pat, right?

What? It's been a hundred years. There was one harrowing moment where he thought that they were all gonna lose the Boss and end up with Daniel becoming the new Boss but that didn't happen, thank Christ and all His Angels (especially Michael) for that.

But hey, things worked out, right? The Boss is happily married to Hob Gadling and it's kinda sweet how those two had never seemed to have left the "honeymoon phase" what with all the cooing and flirting via poetry.

(It had the added benefit of sending Desire of the Endless into a total hissy fit because ewww not my brother ick ick ick nooooo and apparently there WAS such a thing as Brain Bleach™ which was just karma, in Matthew's considered opinion.)

Anyway!

There had been a few weird happenings in the Dreaming lately, what with Lucienne suddenly finding the Library completely upside down, for starters. Then, there was that day where everyone seemed to be suffering the worst Migraine in History and the Dreaming had collectively gone, "Yeah, nope, we're not going to be working today. Eurgh."

And then, there were a few nights where everyone just woke up craving all sorts of food. Like Matthew himself suddenly just wanted a pizza with all the toppings, including pineapple, for Chrissakes and pineapple was a mortal sin against pizza, worthy of being damned to the lowest pit of hell, okay?!

So Matthew just gets this strange compulsion, like he needed to check things out over by the Giant Rapunzel Patch™ - which, apparently, was in use by the more Fairy Tale-inclined dreams. Sure, whatever - Matthew wasn't exactly a big fan of eating his vegetables. Sorry, kids.

And he settles down by this utterly ginormous patch of rampion and finds... a baby.

A very familiar looking baby.

Look, the kid looked very much like a certain Lord of Dreams - what with the whole Snow White routine, right down to the rosebud lips in that Familiar Pout, protesting his current indignity with all his might.

Matthew manages to scrounge up the softest blanket he could find and wraps the kid up, a minor feat, what with the lack of opposable thumbs. But he did it and he flew off to the Castle with the baby, who calmed down immediately, much to Matthew's relief.

His Darkness was oddly unsurprised when Matthew deposited the kid into his arms, snuggling him close and greeting him with a: "Hello, my little love. Welcome home."

Look, Matthew could be forgiven for the incoherent: "Uh, Boss, how?!!! And what's his name?!"

Dream declined to answer the first question. But the answer to the second was, "His name is Oliver. His other father will be very glad to meet him."

Oliver, the little Prince of the Dreaming, was just as delighted to meet his Da, at least as far as they could tell with the happy gurgling and cooing.

-end-

Footnote the First: Dream is STILL refusing to explain how Oliver came to be, other than: "It is all very much my husband's fault."

Footnote the Second: Hob's only response to this is: "Welp, when two people love each other very much..."

Footnote the Third: Oliver's godparents include a Muse, one Really Old Guy, an Archangel, Death of the Endless and Rose Walker.

Footnote the Fourth: Oliver's first complete sentence was "Shaxbert yucky!" much to the delight of his other father. Look, if Dream wasn't singing him lullabies, he tended to fall asleep to Hob's infamous Shakespeare Rants™!

#dreamling #dream of the endless #matthew the raven #hob gadling #accidental baby acquisition #these two idiots with the shared braincell #and that braincell is MATTHEW #i crack what i want #i still don't know how these two ended up with the baby #shhh nobody tell neil

[nikkashidashipper]

the fact that it was mostly matthew lillards sole choice to play stu as queer still lives in my head rent free. im pretty sure there wasnt anything that required him to do so but still he went yeah no. my mans gonna be camp as hell. madly in love with billy also. as a treat

#fascinating acting choices and i love him for that #stu macher my beloved #matthew lillard #stu macher #scream 1996 #this godforsaken movie has been just playing on loop in my head. the two remain braincells have been having one hell of a viewing party #t4lx.txt #i have so many thoughts about this character its getting kinda inconvenient actually #100 notes baybey

[johnmarstonskittenwiggle]

Chaotic mom and dad, Dutch and Hosea, casually calling members of the gang by made up, long, drawn-out, ridiculous middle names when they fuck up…

#red dead redemption 2 #rdr #rdr2 #red dead fandom #dutch van der linde #hosea matthews #van der linde gang #theyre so silly #two idiots one braincell #the gang #john marston #arthur morgan #red dead redemption arthur #red dead redemption john #arthur and john are brothers #sadie adler #micah bell #charles smith

[notdeadyetmatthews]

-Getting handcuffed after getting caught scamming someone-

Dutch: Follow my lead, and we should be able to get out of this. Let's not give anything away.

Hosea: Sure thing, Dutch

Sheriff: So your name is Dutch.

Dutch: Well done, Hosea.

Sheriff: Dutch and Hosea. Got it.

Dutch: Fuck.

#how these men managed to con so many people is beyond me #they share one braincell #dutch van der linde #hosea matthews #rdr2 #silly #funny #stupid #vandermatthews

[cryptophasia-nabros]

Everyone knows that Alfred is responsible for all the bad ideas.

That's because they never talk about the aftermath of Matthew's much worse ideas.

#hws canada #hws america #na twins #na brothers #aph canada #aph america #alfred f. jones #Matthew Williams #twins share a braincell

[caterpillarinacave]

James: Thomas your bleeding! Quick, what’s your type?

Thomas: 5’10, Persian, beautiful eyes, looks like a prince from a fairytale-

Matthew: No! He means your blood type

Thomas: Oh, uh, b- positive?

Alastair: We’re trying, Tom, but your losing a lot of blood!!!

#James regrets all his choices #Alastair and Thomas are smart on their own but together? They share a braincell #And it’s busy thinking about how handsome the other is #off topic #Shitpost #tid #tsc #tlh #cot #thomastair #thomas lightwood #Alastair carstairs #matthew Fairchild #james herondale #incorrect tlh quotes #Incorrect TSC quotes #incorrect cot quotes #Incorrect thomastair #The last hours #chain of thorns #cassandra Clare

[tending-the-hearth]

someone help bc ik this is from a serious moment but they're so goofy like who let simon squared wear the helmets

#bc matthew isn't wearing a helmet #simon squared sharing a braincell is my favorite chosen thing #the chosen tv series

[andaniellight]

matthew murdock not confessing to foggy nelson about certain things because he thought they have all the time in the world to matthew murdock not confessing to elektra natchios about certain things because he knows they don’t have enough time left to matthew murdock on square one being given time to decide about certain things for his world by frank castle

#angst and hurt/comfort braincells go lawnmower mode #I DO NOT PIT THESE HOLY TRINITY AGAINST EACH OTHER #Fratt #MattFoggy #MattElektra #FrankMatt #MattFrank #Daredevil #The Punisher #Elektra Natchios #Foggy Nelson #Matt Murdock #Matthew Murdock

[oeldeservesthenorris]

Whenever I believe he has reached the ground floor of ridiculous, I find that there is an entire underground Tkachuk Himbo Parking Garage full of ridiculous I haven’t seen yet

#matthew tkachuk #florida panthers #nhl #nhl hockey #nhl players #himbo #not a braincell in sight #nhl2022-2023 #whateven

[inkistyping]

Try not to make everything about xanvid challenge (failed)

#this isnt about anything specific i just cant stop thinking abt them #danganronpa despair time #drdt #david chiem #xander matthews #xanvid #the braincell

[darthstitch]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Sandman (TV 2022), The Sandman (Comics) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dream of the Endless/Hob Gadling, Dream of the Endless | Morpheus/Hob Gadling Characters: Dream of the Endless, Hob Gadling, Matthew the Raven, Rose Walker, Lucien | Lucienne (The Sandman), Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson, Dustin Henderson, Methos (Highlander) Additional Tags: Crack, crack and humor, Fluff, Possession, King of Nightmares, Professor Dream, Flirting Trough Poetry, Fix-It, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Highlander mention, Stranger Things mention, Minor Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, Tumblr Series: Part 19 of History Class Cryptids a.k.a. The Kilig Diaries Summary:

In which Professor Dream ends up having to deal with ridiculous shenanigans in his classroom.

THIS IS FIC NUMBER 19.  OMG.  I HAVE PASSED BEYOND FERAL OVER THIS GDMN SHIP. 

#dreamling #the sandman #dream of the endless #hob gadling #matthew the raven #rose walker #lucienne #methos #i crack what i want #FIC NUMBER NINETEEN JEEZAS CHRISTMAS #shhh nobody tell neil #these two idiots with their shared braincell #professor dream

[pragmaticjedi]

Matthew: Where are you?

Lucienne: At the end of my rope.

#the sandman #Lucienne has the braincell #Matthew’s just here to have a good time

[startingfires]

cordelia carstairs deserves the dumbass award

#girl just please use your braincells #i know you have them so just stop being stupid #she's annoying me ok #and all of the unnecessary matthew james drama that we don't need #and she was mean to lucie #and if there's something i will not stand for is anyone being a dick to my fave lucie herondale #chain of thorns #ramblings of a rafaela

[majorxmaggiexboy]

“why didn’t you tell me?”

MATTHEW MAY I TELL YOU A STORY ABOUT A POT AND A KETTLE

#destroy him karen cast him into the fire #throw a fish at him #also WHEN THE FRICK WAS SHE SUPPOSED TO TELL YOU DOOFUS #IN THE DAILY FIVE MINUTE WINDOW BETWEEN YOU SAUNTERING BY THE OFFICE AND DISAPPEARING #ON VARIOUS SELFDESTRUCTIVE DARINGDO? #karen put him back in that box put the lid on it get some gorilla glue and leave for at least ten hours #god matthew #my son is so stupid he's so dumb #his one braincell has been bounced around that thick skull of his TOO many times jesus

[yaboidante2711]

I can be your angle

or your debil

#mostly the debil #they lose all braincells when they're together #art #artist on tumblr #digitalart #oc: dante #oc: matthew #vampire oc #angel #devil #cheerleader

[linddzz]

none of you know the strength it takes to not just say fuck the pacing of this entire fic and give in to the urge to write ten pages of Hob and Matthew losing the braincell as soon as they start hanging out

#the sandman #i realized story wise a whole scene didnt really work #and the PAIN i felt as i deleted #'so...the accent?' #'thats a rudeass question man come on'