Tumgik
#and tbh. that didnt even always work
theygender · 1 year
Text
My gf and I have talked about hypothetically opening up our relationship at some point in the future which would make me very happy as a polyamorous person, but I just realized that if that actually happens and I have to go back out on the dating scene I'm gonna have some trouble bc now that I'm more outwardly butch people are gonna expect me to make the first move and I have never made a first move in my entire life
In all of my relationships but two the first move was made by the other person, and I wasn't even the person who made the first move in the other two. In the first one the girl chickened out on her plans to ask me out and then our mutual friend who didn't realize that that had happened outed her by asking me what I said afterwards, and in the second one me and the other person both went to the same friend on the same day to talk about our crushes on each other and then she made us talk about our feelings
I met my current girlfriend on a dating app, and the first time she tried to ask me on a date she wanted to take me to the theater so she asked me if I had seen the new beauty & the beast movie and then instead of realizing that she was asking me on a date I said that I'd already seen it and gave her a negative review of the movie. And then when she asked me on a date again a few weeks later I had to ask to make sure it was a date when I got there 😭
...And that reminds me of another event in high school where a girl I liked took me to the mall and we walked around holding hands the entire time and then afterwards I had to get one of our mutual friends to ask her if it was supposed to be a date bc I was too nervous and also stupid 😭 Another girl that year asked me to skip class with her and told me that if I flashed my pretty smile at the teacher I could probably get away with it and I had to show the text to my friend to ask if she was flirting. I'm gonna die out there on my own 😭
#rambling#the friend i showed the message to was the same one i made ask the other girl if it was a date#and he didnt even answer he just raised his eyebrow and stared at me like 'really?'#god im just. remembering how stupid i was in high school now#there were two other crushes that i had who may have potentially liked me back and i may have even been told that by multiple people#but i was so deep in my self hatred and also stupid that i didnt think it was possible for them or anyone else to like me 😭#they both were friends of mine and they eventually stopped talking to me completely and i couldnt figure out why#and now i hope its not bc they they thought i was leading them on. bc i wasnt. i was just a massive idiot#you have to explicitly tell me that youre interested in me or want to go on a date or whatever or im not gonna get it#and tbh. that didnt even always work#my first major crush in high school was on a girl who told me directly multiple times that she was into me#but i was even DEEPER in my self hatred at that time#(and also only just figuring out how social interaction worked bc she was helping my autistic ass learn)#so i just. assumed it was a joke. bc no one could have possibly been interested in me and definitely not such an amazing person#i guess at least i have a scrap of self confidence now and im brave enough to ask for clarification now#and if i specifically ask someone on a date at least i would know for sure its a date?#and it could either be lame or cute but i could ask for permission to kiss them. it worked for my gf#i cant interpret signals for shit 😭#i dont even have a valid reason to be thinking about this right now lol its not like i have permission to date anyone else romantically yet#but ive been watching clone high with my gf and abe keeps misinterpreting joan directly saying that she wants him in increasingly dumb ways#and i just keep cringing bc i realized that that was me ahdjsksl....#only difference is in my case it was never bc i was ignoring them for someone else. it was ALWAYS bc i was an idiot#literally i would be there pining for them and every attempt they made would go right over my head#you have to be morosexual and very persistent to date me 😭 or tell a mutual friend whos very persistent ig lol#i know we are All useless lesbians but i think i deserve a medal or smth#ill hang it on my corkboard next to the souvenir that one of my crushes who i didnt think liked me back got for me in high school#which was a plastic license plate that said 'babygirl' on it bc that was her nickname for me 😅#god i really hope people didnt think i was leading them on. imagine someone thinking im a player flirting with a bunch of different girls#without ever making things official. when really if i found out for certain any of them were interested in me i would have died of shock 😭#and if we WERE in fact flirting i wouldnt have realized it. i was just SO scared and SO stupid 😭😭😭
16 notes · View notes
draco-kasai · 1 year
Text
A DPxDC prompt I Guess?
So, like, I'm half asleep and I have work in 40 minutes but like what if Ra's were to FINALLY die and Batsy and his family were there by coincidence to watch as Phantom took his soul. Maybe they were kidnapped or they were investigating if Ra's truly came back. Again.
Like, newly crowned King Phantom was going over all the paperwork Pariah Dark didn't bother doing. And while doing it he finds a list of people who escaped death though a Lazarus Pit and on top of that list is Ra's. So Danny looks into who Ra's is and what the fuck a Lazuras Pit is. He isn't happy with the info he finds. Claimed the pits, formed an assasination cult following yada yada.
Pits are pools of waters that had become contaminated with ectoplasm when a natural portal accsedently opened inside. Turns out that this random dude just so happened to find it and found it could heal so he claimed it for himself. Due to the greed and amount of death that was submerged into the waters it had become contaminated causing horrible side effects.
So Danny decides it was finally time to collect the dude's soul and destroy these pits and he's not escaping death this time and Pariah Dark should of done his damn job. After all, everyone who has used the Pit has a ghost core that is unable to develop properly because of the contamination of the Pits corrupted ectoplasm and that falls under his jurisdiction.
He even decides on hunting down everyone who used the pit, so Danny being himself looks into everyone who's used the pit and goddamn there's so many people, and many of them have used it more than once. So to spare himself a headache, he decides to just get everyone who's used it more than twice and fuck, it's still a long list but it'll have to do.
So now Danny is left cleaning up all the shit Pariah Dark didn't do, starting with destroying the pits and oh look, half his targets, including Ra's is nearby, might as well get em too while he's at it.
So now Danny is just floating around the league base collecting souls like fucking pokemon cards.
Batfam is baffled and disturbed by the trail of dead bodies. Those who are alive are terrified, curled into a ball, begging for forgiveness and thanking Death for sparing them.
The group decides to continue with caution. As they near the Pit they hear people talking, well, more like arguing really. They lean against the walls of the cave and listen in.
Ra's is arguing with Danny, trying to strike up a deal with him so he can continue to live. He's obviously desperate but the Ghost King won't budge and it's making him angrier.
Meanwhile Danny is just over it already, the dude can't offer him anything he'd actually want anyway, but is humering him cause he's pretty bored. He thought this would be more interesting considering they are all assassins.
Eventually Ra's gets fed up and tries attacking Danny but his attacks just go through him nd Danny just rolls his eyes.
"Listen dude, you've escaped death for way too long and I'm just doin my job taking your souls." He just swoops in, taking the soul, the body falling over like a puppet with it's strings cut.
That's when the Batfam decide to make themselves known, cause this unknown has just killed Ra's and apparently killed everyone else they saw too.
Danny is surprised to see Batman and his group here. He's doing his best to control the fanboying, but he doesn't really succeed as he's floating around them with a huge grin complementing them with how cool they are.
This is when the group takes in the unknowns appearance. White hair that flowed as if it were under water and sparked off at the ends like fire. Brilliant green eyes. A black and white hazmat suit. Pointed ears and teeth. He looked young, maybe 17 or 18. Pale, sickly pale skin.
Batman cuts in on the boys speaking, asking why he killed all those people and who he was. Danny sobers up and floats a few inches away, back straight.
"They have used the pits for too long, so I'm collecting what's not meant to be alive." He pretends to not notice as the family crowds slightly closer to Jason. He knows who he is. He did his research on everyone who was dunked into the pit, plus he can feel the Ecto contamination on him and his corrupted, unfinished sickly core.
Batman is mad, saying stuff like "you have no right to kill all those people, who made you the judge? They should be put through the justice system where they will receive their punishment fairly" Or something like that.
Danny gets upset cause Batman is basically walking all over the laws of his people by basically telling him 'your laws are stupid, do it like this' which is the equivalent of 'Gotham doesn't need Batman, we have cops' so he bares his teeth and lets out a small growl in warning.
"You have no right to meddle in business that doesn't pertain to you."
"You are killing people, how does that not pertain to me?"
"These people were already half dead to begin with. They had no right to escape death nor to use these pits that belong to my people, of which they have contaminated with their greed. I have simply come to gather them back up and bring them back to where they belong."
"Your people?"
"The pits are contaminated?"
"Your pits?"
"Where do they belong?"
"Who even are you?"
Danny allows for the invisibility on his accessories to fall. The crown of fire is the first to appear, the green flames form the shape of the crown, sparks flying about in a calm rhythm. His white cape, clasped around his neck by a button in the shape of an hourglass, flowed down his back. The inside was a pitch black that held slowly moveing stars and galaxies. The ring on his left hand flowed a brilliant green.
"I am the king of the Ghost Zone, or as you may know it, the infinite realms. I am known as Phantom. Those who have fallen into these corrupted pits have corrupted,sickly cores of which make them part ghost, of which are my people. I am simply taking them back to where they belong and getting rid of these pits. Something my predecessor should have done. This has nothing to do with the living. Now if you'll excuse me"
Danny holds up a cupped hand. The waters of the pit begin to splash and whirl before the ectoplasm seperates itself and comes flying up into his hand, condensing and shapeing into a sphere. He creates his own ecto ball in his free hand, the color a softer green than that of the toxic green of the pits.
Slowly he mixes the two together causing the toxic green to slowly turn the same color and murge with his ecto ball before eating it. did he have to eat it? No, absolutely not, but he just wanted to freak out the bats more, and the look of horror that fell upon most of their faces was totally worth it. Even Batman's lips parted slightly in shock.
With that, Phantom bids them a ferwell and disappears before their eyes. He can't wait to tell Sam and Tucker that he met and scared the Batman.
Meanwhile the bat family is freaking out because, "What the absolute fuck just happened?!"
30 notes · View notes
girlwithfish · 7 days
Text
also he asked a kinda personal question and i was talking abt it but felt very embarrassed and it also took me a long time to articulate when I cld have said it more succinctly w less pauses and such...felt kind of embarrassed after bc im like why am I not normal abt anything. but idk a little vulnerability is good I suppose. 😕
#he asked if i feel any connection to my chinese heritage#and then i gave some complicated nonsensical answer abt feeling disconnected and alienated etc#Which was weird to talk abt out loud bc i realize i never really have talked abt it out loud much to anyone#or maybe ever#so its weird to say out loud#like theres always gonna be some gap or emptiness etc#And i didnt rly articulate it that well but i was thinjing abt it now but i also dont like feeling#like a spectacle ? i guess#Even if ppl dont intend to make u feel that way but i really dislike ppl/strangers or ppl who i dont know well butting in to my personal#life#or like being asked why i dont look like my parents as a kid or ppl inquiring abt my adoption#even tho ik its 'innocent' curiosity it def makes me feel like a spectacle of some sort#and tied w feeling alienated and even mkre like a spectacle esp when i worked in retail and wld encounter a lot of ppl and would get#asked alll the time where am i from its very annoying and i#think i dont like the unwanted attention and also again ppl idk getting into my business LOL#And then theres also the shame that comes w being around or encountering other chinese ppl or older chinese ppl and#having ro explain i dont speak the language or i dont have chinese parents#its like i would rather not have to talk abt a personal aspect of my life to strangers at all tbh. idk if thats odd#and esp when my personal experiences as an adopter kinda get talked over by my parents or other ppl idk#idkkk#i dont think he rly knew what to say hah and he said it seemed like a sensitive subjwct bc i spent like ten minutes(jk) tryig to articulate#But like ofc i like being chinese but ik im not chinese in the same way as others may be#Even tho i am. but yk what i mean#but he was rubbing my leg affectionately while i talked and listened even tho i was taking like 8 minutes to answer a simple question#Idk
4 notes · View notes
crimsongrimoire · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
hi ive been sick so of course that means ive been thinking about kaeya being sick and sooo pathetic about it again
#crow.txt#kaeluc#genshin#snippets#fluff#slowly chipping away at this even more. Ugh#tbh the bulk of this was written like. last night and just now. i was letting the thoughts microwave with my weird intermittent fever#literally got two vaccines at once and got attacked by a secret third thing (the common cold for the first time in like 4 years)#it was somehow the best week i couldve picked to just COMPLETELY miss work apparently so its fine i guess#sidebote dont try to do taxes while sick. i didnt end up completing them but it was funny i even thought i was capable#is this comprehensivle is this legible idk i just want to make kaeya be miserable and forced to let someone take care of him abt it#that is soup for Me. in my Soul.#kaeya be like 'wtf treating me like a little kid' when he said he wanted to be taken care of in the summer event like 2 yrs ago#other people may have forgotten but i have Not i will Never. this man will complain about having adult responsibilities#and then when someone tries to take care of him or do things for him out of kindness hes like HAHA WAIT NOW HOLD ON-#little fool make up your mind. why are you so everything always#kaeya be like relying on someone for something under no guise of professional matters? in MY life? i dont think so#(diluc jean lisa and rosaria will remember this (and not let him get away with it))#and klee too but like shes little baby she doesnt even understand any of this and he would feel extremely mean rejecting kindness from#a little kid. so sometimes she brings him her funny little toast for breakfast and he says awwww thank you :)
30 notes · View notes
Text
scully's right. they should get her a fucking desk. it's been 3.5 seasons.
4 notes · View notes
ban-joey · 6 months
Text
sending laser beams to my professor with my mind. kenneth you said midterm grades would b up by this afternoon. it is officially TONIGHT and guess what? kenneth i would love to not be clenching my teeth in my sleep tonight. kenneth i will be sending you a bill in the mail. yes i know its probably a TAs responsibility but i blame you personally. i hate school
#i dont im having a lot of fun (genuinely) but it is often pretty stressful#did find out there are a few folks adjacent to my program doing zoonoses & climate change research so im very excited to chat w them next w#possibly directing my thesis towards one health. social epi gradually becoming less interesting#plus i think my strengths do lie in applying epi to biological concepts so. one health works there#my brain continually trying to get back to lyme disease :( sometimes i really do miss the east coast tbh!#not lying actually i think the number one thing i miss is the amt of vector borne disease research LMFAO#i do unfortunately kind of have a crush on a classmate so that's fine but whatever. grad school. men are nice to me and i lose my mind ig#need to go make out w a hot trans person i think that would solve my problems rn#but also it's nice to be so excited about someone deciding to sit next to me in every class :)#like wow how isolated have i been the last 3 years to be so delighted by like. active signs i have Officially Made Friends.#even if he does live like a block away from my dad and jokes every goddamn day like 'so i saw your dad yesterday' no you DIDNT shut UP#idk yesterday he sat right next to me in a class he usually sits w other people in and it sort of sent my brain off the edge and now im jus#yeah. sitting with this one. it's fine like it's normal. but wowie i do think it's my first time having a Big Ol Crush since (redacted)#a little scary for my animal brain i think but it's okay!#im 25 in like 3 ish weeks and i still get embarrassed about this stuff somehow? stupid.#he's just really nice and always really fun to talk to! i think i had to officially Sit With Myself today bc epi is doing a holiday party#and there's a baking contest and we were talking abt it in class and i was indecisive abt whether i want to participate#and he like fully cut me off and was like oh you should bake something so i can have some :)#and. well fuck now i have to lmao. IM SO EASY IT'S SO EMBARRASSING#good evening everyone. guess this is my journal now. anyway ken rice you owe me twenty dollars and i aim to COLLECT
5 notes · View notes
todayisafridaynight · 11 months
Note
confession: sometimes I come to look at your art as references because you have noted details like moles + looking at what colors u put down in my quest to find what something looks like under neutral lighting I know the shit here has been thoroughly researched
i will be normal upon learning this news.
#fave#snap chats#JUST KIDDINGLAKJVKLE I CANT EVEN MAKE A FUNNYMAN™️ COMMENT THAT'S SUCH AN HONOR THANK YOU SO MUCH#especially when i'm such a fan of your own work... i love your lighting and shading and how Shaped everyone is so much...#just the FEEL yk i cant explain it but your art just feels super great to look at..#the funniest thing bout being sent this today is ironically i was gonna make more 'model sheets' for myself like how i did with y2 daigo#dunno why i just felt compelled to do so.. just so i could draw bitches without having to think ACTUAL Rotating Like An SSBB Trophy moment#except this one i'd make more note heavy..... cause idk i always wanted to do that tbh..#if my arm didnt hurt i probably would ☠️ maybe tomorrow or if im too stubborn later tonight i will ☠️☠️#but wow... again thank you that means a lot. new favorite compliment achieved thank you...#i do spend hours looking at these bitches so im glad. im glad thats apparent i pay attention 😫#in truth i dont even draw EVERY mole on every character- daigo is esp awkward because his moles change throughout games#the moles i draw are specifically for the ps3 era/y3-75#he has different moles in the dragon engine- they're actually on the right side of his face opposed to the left: theyre entirely different#AND IM GOBSMACKED BOUT THE COLORS BIT people tell me my colors are nice but its still ?? for me to acknowledge that sometimes#like not BAD OF COURSE NO NO IM REALLY HAPPY im just.. hm... i didnt think i was doing anything nice..#in any case again. thank you. ive made it clear this is a big compliment I Will Can It now ☠️
7 notes · View notes
tibli · 6 months
Text
this 👌 close to making johndirk art out of spite bc people act like its an affront to god or smth
3 notes · View notes
mifunebooty · 7 months
Text
Really funny this white dude in my speech class group i remember he kept making eye contact with me and i was like does he like me um and turns out he did that with everybody white people weird
#cherry says#anyways fun inside GOD THAT SEMESTER WAS STICKY my mom could not take unemployment well#me i got used to the cycle of looking for jobs getting nothing then stop looking bc my mom said dont worry about it ill pay the bills#i did that over and over and with film jobs id just look at texas film commission sometimes just to look#but i myself got used to the job hunting so i felt zoned out from it yet#that area felt as much a daydream as my wanting to go make a movie i didnt think i wanted to tell myself that#especially because i still was doing acting looking for acting#but yeah there was times my mom would make violent fits she would wonder what was happening#i think those times revealed a lot of the weird complexity of our relationship after high school#i didnt pity her but i did feel like i owed her something i believed so many things she told me#i feel like she wanted me to see her work as a sacrifice so i must do this and that but it was way deeper#parental love became a fucking duty to show it that was just it i did what she said#to at the same time comfort myself when i had no job and maybe even to comfort myself for being scared#i think tbh i need to face that past action that i was scared i was scared of reality even if it was a reality she talked of#i was scared of growing up and didnt wanna think about it i was scared of the future in 2 months when class ended#so maybe my mom with no job suddenly presented the risks we were all taking#maybe it made me more scared of what was to be on the outside#somebody who put fear in my head who said dont worry u study i work and that was gone#perhaps i shouldve taken that opportunity to realize NOTHING LASTS.#YOUR MOTHER WHO ALWAYS MADE IT SOUND LIKE THE WORLD WAS CONTROLLED AND PREDICTED BY HER IS AS VULNERABLE AS YOU NOTHING LASTS#but i didnt i instead became the punching bag again the quiet good girl and kept on thats a lot to swallow even more
4 notes · View notes
hyperfixated-homo · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
not rlly that proud of this but. littol bloo sketch
8 notes · View notes
sanstropfremir · 8 months
Note
cho giseok working with xg :) i love when kpop companies let creatives do their work!
he worked with other idols before and it was always boring (see his “work” with txt and nj) because of the company’s restraints. so i’m happy he gets to do what he wants and have company support!
i know!!! im SO glad that somebody recognizes his vision and is letting him actually do the kind of work he does WELL. i really love that their whole creative team has really gone all out and actually committed to their concept for the prereleases, and likely for the album too if tgif was any indication. and even for the stages!!! the girl gvng stages make me fucking INSANE the decals the CHOREOOOOOO it's everything 2 me. expect it near the top if not at the top of the choreo list this year. i haven't seen a group commit that hard to an actual character in their choreo in ages, and definitely not for a gg
5 notes · View notes
romanticfistfightz · 2 years
Text
do u wanna see my fav petfinder cat finds.......
10 notes · View notes
sixftmp3 · 1 year
Text
i love my singing voice. i love when i try to hit a note that i cant reach anymore and my voice cracks. i love singing a full octave below my favorite singer's voices. i love barely qualifying as a tenor anymore
4 notes · View notes
senxitive · 1 year
Text
Nothing like crying, panicking and shutting down because your therapist described how she sees you and said nice things about you
2 notes · View notes
crimsongrimoire · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
ahahaha ohhhh i just remembered i have this damn app im about to be so insufferable
#crow.txt#not writing#lord. should i make a gameplay tag#people who dont think the aquila favonia is good for kaeya are literally so fucking wrong. my boy is insane.#'is he cryo or phys dps?' yes.#when i get him a good hourglass finally. then you'll fucking see the error of your ways.#(already consistently gets huge damage even without freezing)#he and kokomi are so fucking nuts together. its wild.#actually tbh i usually have beidou swapped in for klee atm but i didnt wanna put her here bc her build is embarrassing.#her domain hates me and also she uses treasure hoarder stuff for talents sorry kaeya is priority. albedo too cause he uses ballad books.#i think not. those are kaeyas. you will get your turn small man#it amuses me to no end that my team is always in height order completely unintentionally#i leveled kokomi in precisely a week and a day and the only reason for that was fucking sango pearls.#i had her artis done much sooner but that was dumb luck and me throwing the towel in on the circlet bc i couldnt get a healing bonus one#which is what i have. might sub out for an hp one. kinda the same ish. but we'll see.#and i need one for albedo too same domain its fine (literally not even hard with kokomi and kaeya. and ofc beidou)#forgot cwof domain hates me so bad too and klees build is so meh. but in my defense even with that her damage is crazy rn#me: complains abt never getting a funny witch hat Ever#(does a reliquary while complaining and its literally ONLY HATS only one of which worked for her)#complaining literally always works. always#also need to level koko's gay little book but thats like trivial at this point when i get a few more ley line sprouts#(laughs in 11mil mora)#everyone else ever ive tried to get artis for was like blood sweat and tears meanwhile with kokomi it was just like here you are sir#fighting for my life in the archaic petra domain only for it not to MATTER ANYMORE.#after those artis were released i was like .....whatever. ill only go there if i have a reason to. if i get kokomi. whatever#and now look at me. making a clown of myself. violating my one superiority complex of not believing in healers.#genshinposting
17 notes · View notes
malkaviian · 1 year
Text
im home earlier than i thought
#i can actually work on things yay. at least one of them#for the mav and samael story i will rewrite the first chapter#bc i think starting with mav having One of Those breakdowns bc of what happened with zachary its not the best way#i think its better to start the story showing his Unconventional Desires and Fantasies about being murdered as violently as possible#and then explain whats the reason behind them later; when the readers have an idea of who he is. and maybe wonder why hes like that#or if hes weird just because something is wrong with his brain (i mean something is def wrong with him either way.#but did something happened for him to end this way or it just happened without something being a direct cause?)#at least i didnt even got to the midpoint; i only had ~800 words. which is kind of a win for me tbh i havent write shit in months#let alone this thing is out of my comfort zone for a lot of reasons; starting with the fact its not a fanfic and everything belongs to me#and i havent touched a subject this sensitive like a p4r4philia before. of course i did my research but tbf there isnt a lot on this one#so im trying not to sound completely uninformed; just that i couldnt really find a whole lot of research on this#bc it doesnt exist on the first place. the closest is lopatka's clase; which i've read what i could find about already; its not a whole lot#anyway i am afraid of getting hate comments. something something i am romanticizing a serious subject#something something i am portraying this as a love story (im not; if the characters think so its another thing) so i must be fucked up irl#something something 'this is fucked up and doesnt cater to my direct tastes; therefore is bad and you are bad too'#of course i will put warnings but you know how people are. and if they report the story wattpad could actually take it down#a bummer but. whatever. i always have ao3 but i will have to do an extra step and translate it to english#alongside having 0 audience there. well shit just happens ig lol#this turned into a rant sorry#lilith whispers
2 notes · View notes