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hidden-poet · 2 months

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Commander Snow; chapter 6

Commander Snow

Summary; Under the advice of Dr Gaul Coriolanus returns back to district 12 where without blinding light of lucy-grey he could see you.

Warnings; dead dove to do not eat, stalking, unrequited love, breeding kink, violence, possessive!Snow, unco/dubco, sexual content, she/her pronouns, explicit, violence, death.

Editor: @hotline-to-hell

chapter one

Chapter two

Chapter three

Chapter four

Chapter five

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Being Commander of District 12 meant that Coriolanus couldn’t just whisk you away to the forest to face his fears. He had a whole army dependent on him. It meant that while you were held up in his apartment, he was held up in his office.

It annoyed him to no end. To have you so close and yet still out of reach.

Despite you living with him for a week, you’ve only shared one meal together.

His overtime meant that you were asleep by the time he got home.

You had left a clean pair of his pajamas on the end of the bed. He had a habit of just stripping down to his underwear to join you.

You left dinner for him in the fridge and he sat at the dinner table eating it alone.

On the odd occasion, there was time to spend together, the mood was often tense from Coriolanus stress.

He tried not to take his frustration out on you but his answers were often short.

After a long day filled with complaints and issues that could have been easily solved without him, Coriolanus decided that he would not return to his office after supervising drill training and instead remain with you.

He was beyond tired from his day, but it was too early to suggest bed. You lay with him on the couch, propped up by a throw pillow against the arm of the couch while he lay in front of you. He threw your arm around his shoulder and held it tight under his chin.

The TV played a music talent show that neither you nor Coriolanus could care about but the tv only picked up two channels; the news or the entertainment channel that the Hunger Games were shown on. Coriolanus couldn’t bear to hear any more politics for the day so you watched people dressed in irregular costumes perform ballads out of their range.

His eyes droop as he fights the upcoming sleep. It was the first time since the fight with Edmund that he got you to sit down. The little he was here you spent avoiding him. For the first few days, he was angry too and avoidance stopped the fight he wanted to have with you.

But a week had passed and his temper cooled.

You were with him now. Playing housewife to the Commander.

He felt better now that he was coming home to something, rather than just the cold. When he looked in the fridge there was food for him. His clothes were washed and prepared for him. His bed was warm at night. He made him feel less homesick.

The talk from the TV turned from the judges to Lucky the presenter.

“Now ladies and gentlemen. We have a surprise for you tonight. We have a certain special guest gracing us. And we have given him the power to save one of your favorites from elimination! Mr Augustus Bloom won’t you please come out!”

Coriolanus shot up from your hold to watch him.

Augustus Bloom walked on screen wearing an expensive suit. His brown hair was slicked back and a small gold earring dangled from his ear.

The crowd cheered for him.

Coriolanus was stuck in District 12 dealing with half-wits and scum, while Augustus was charming the Capitol on live tv.

He shakes hands with Lucky.

“Mr. Bloom, a privilege to have you here tonight!”

“A privilege to be here amongst you and away from my office.”

Lucky turns to the crowd and laughs.

“Look at you. You good-looking man! You should be out on the town, breaking hearts!”

Augustus laughs along with the crowd.

“I am too busy preparing my business for when I am president of Panem. I’ll worry about women after that.”

Coriolanus clenches his fist.

“Oh,” Lucky turned serious to the crowd, “I think Coriolanus Snow might have something to say about that!”

The crowd murmurs amongst themselves giving Coriolanus an air of confidence.

A picture from his Academy days flashes up on the screen, you look at it with curiosity. He was once a young boy with soft curls, he now sat nearly unrecognizable.

“He’s looking like a strong contender. Isn’t he handsome ladies!” He points out to the crowd, “And some gentleman.”

Augustus had the wind knocked out of his sail. He fidgeted on stage and took a step back almost as if he was going to run away. Dr. Gaul's criticism ran through Coriolanus’ head, “a soft-bellied rich boy, not fit for the presidency.”

Now the whole audience knew it too.

“Snow isn’t here” he gritted through a smile. He wasn’t going down with a fight.

“No. He’s in District 12, keeping us here in the Capitol safe. A round of applause for Commander Snow!”

The crowd cheered causing Coriolanus to smile.

“So am I!” Augustus interrupted like a child.

“Yes, right. I am sure one day you will!” Lucky claps him on the back and returns to the audience with an excited demeanor.

“But of course, that’s a while yet! We are wishing our President Ravenstill all the good health in the world. Now let’s get on with the show!”

Coriolanus switches the TV off and rests his arms on his knees. He couldn’t help but smile at Augustus' national failure. He made Coriolanus look so strong, so mysterious, and focused. He would send Lucky a fruit basket in thanks tomorrow. He would also send one to Augustus.

“You had curls.” The young boyish figure had shocked you.

“Yes,” he pats your knee affectionately, “When we are back in the Capitol and I am president of Panem, I’ll grow them back again.”

==================

Coriolanus has the nightmare that night. He woke up with the tune of ‘Hanging Tree’ stuck in his head. The first thing he does is reach out to where you should have been lying only to find the space cold. Panic rushes through him. His feet thump against the floorboards as he runs from the room into the hall. Your sleeping body can be seen on the couch and he instantly relaxes.

His body tells him he should be angry; fists clenched, shoulders up and tense, his face hot. But he couldn’t manage it. His mind was too hazy to comprehend anything but his own panic.

Instead, he sits down on the floor beside you and tries to control his breathing. The tune hums in the back of his mind and he tries to force it out.

“You had the nightmare again?” Your voice halts the tune. He looks over his shoulder at you with wide eyes. You finally saw the resemblance between the schoolboy with the curls.

He gets up and pushes himself on the couch next to you. You feel his hands slide up your back, trying to hold you close but you wiggle free from his grasp.

You would not comfort the man who kidnapped you.

He tried to bring you back down to his chest as you crawl over him but his tired state left room for error.

You tumble down to the floor as you escape.

He sighs disappointed, bringing his hands up to his face.

“Was there something wrong with the bed?” he asks.

“I prefer the couch.” You sit on the ground next to him.

“You prefer the bed built by Edmund.” He spat his name like it was poison.

You look up at him warily, “I never told you that Edmund built my bed.”

Coriolanus is silent for a minute, he sucks his teeth and sits up.

“You didn’t have to. The wood from your door and bed match.’’

He feels settled as you sit by his feet. The panic subsides, but his anger bubbles up from it.

“Can you make me a cup of tea?” he asks.

With him on your bed, you couldn’t go back to sleep anyway so you rose and went to the kitchen to put the kettle on.

He watches you while sitting on the couch. He liked how you moved so comfortably in the space. You were treating it like your home. No hesitation about where things were, you used things liberally.

“What do you dream?” You ask him.

“When I wake up it’s gone,” he lies.

You know he carries it around with him.

“Whatever it is, it scares you.”

The kettle whistles and you pour it over the tea bag.

He worried that he now looks weak in front of you. The man who was supposed to be protecting you was scared of a dream like a child. He could continue with his lie but you already knew.

Instead he tries a half-truth.

“I dream that I am killed like my father was.”

This peaked your interest causing him to sit up straighter under your attention.

“How did he die?”.

He takes the cup from you but you don’t scurry away like you usually do. You stand in front of him eager to listen to him. The attention moved his mouth,

“Here. In District 12. A trap out in the forest during the war. He was a governor”.

“Is that why you wanted to come back?”

“I didn’t want to come back” he admits. He reaches up with his spare hand to lightly touch yours, “But I am glad I did.”

“What did you do?” you feel his thumb brush over the back of your hand, “I mean, to get you sent here?”

He takes a sip of his tea before answering, “I had an enemy in the Capitol. He disliked my father and took it out on my family”.

“He sent you back as Commander?”

“No. He died. Gaul sent me back for my presidential run. It looks better to be serving my country.”

You tear your hand from him, “And when they find out you brought me back to the Capitol. How will that look?”

He places the cup on the floor and stands up to your height.

“I’ll keep you safe, okay?” he presses his forehead against yours, “In the district and in the Capitol”.

“Safe from danger you put me in.”

Coriolanus shakes his head as you pull away from him. “You’re safe. You’ve always been safe.”

He tried to pull you close again but you stretched out your arms to keep him at distance.

“I wanna go home, Coriolanus.”

“Home to Edmund, perhaps?” he bites. His calm and soft features harden.

A shiver shoots up your spine at the mention of Edmund.

“Home to my family. The same as you.”

He sighs, “You won’t be alone in the Capitol as you are here. You just have to put up with it just a little bit longer. We’ll be back home soon”

The Capitol was not your home nor would it ever be.

But you knew anymore talk of home would lead to more talk of Edmund.

“Come on. Let’s go back to bed.” You rip your elbow from his grasp as he walks past you.

“I’m fine on the couch.”

He rubs a hand over his mouth before bending down and picking up his tea cup. He splashes the remains on the couch and hands you the empty cup.

“Enjoy it then.”

—————-

The next day he comes home around lunch time. It catches you by surprise.

“Come on,” he says, nodding his head backwards.

You follow him without a word to the van below where officials stood around. Upon seeing him they take their place. You see Smiley by the passenger side door and he calls out for his Commander.

Coriolanus tell Smiley to take the seat and climbs in the tray of the truck.

He pulls you up into the van amongst the Peacekeepers. He sits on the end of the bench with you between his legs on the floor. Like a seatbelt he keeps you in place by taking a hold on your upper arms and pulling them back up on his knees.

You can feel the glances of his officers but they look away as soon as you try to meet their eyes.

Halfway they try to break the tension with idle chatter.

“Will the recruits be as bad as last year?”

“That’s couldn’t be possible.”

The talk soon turns to anecdotes about their youthful days as Peacekeeper grunts.

None of them try to include Coriolanus in their jests. They all willfully ignored the couple on the end.

You don’t try to talk to him either.

As you pass through the district the people look at the Peacekeeper van causing you to turn your head in embarrassment. You could still feel the harsh judgements from your community as you sat between the Commander's legs. How would you ever rebuild your reputation?

The van stops in front of the tunnel to the train station. The people part in the crowd to let the van through.

Coriolanus releases you to unhook the bolts from the backn of the truck. None of the other Peacekeepers move until he does. He jumps down from the bed of the truck and turns back around to help you down. They all wait until you are down and out of the way before they follow.

It’s busy, too busy for a normal docking of fresh recruits. All of the road and tunnel leading to the train station were overrun by bodies.

District people flood the space, all chatting loudly in a panic. They part as the line of Peacekeepers march through.

Normally on orientation day, the newcomers to District 12 were given a wide berth. People had better things to do then get a glimpse of the faces that would soon be terrorizing them.

You wondered what peaked their excitement today. What had Coriolanus done that both you and the district people had to see?

Coriolanus drags you down the dark tunnel into the light of the train station. The talk quitened but didn’t stop altogether.

You screamed upon seeing the commotion.

Edmund.

He was badly beaten and tied to a sturdy metal pole that kept the roof up. A bulls-eye was spray painted an inch above his head.

Blood soaked his face to the point you almost didn’t recognize him.

Large black bruises covered his exposed skin.

You turn to Coriolanus who was already looking at you and beg him to release Edmund.

“Please, Coriolanus. Let him go.”

“He threw the first punch.”

You knew it had less to do with causing Coriolanus physical harm than it did with damaging his ego and need for control. Your neighbors were shown that the Commander bleeds like any other man.

“He learnt his lesson.” you promise.

“Have you learnt yours?”

Only ten young boys disembark from the train. They were all thin with a badly-shaved buzzcut and carrying a Capitol issued duffle bag.

You wanted to run over to Edmund. Protect him somehow. But you couldn’t, it was your protection that got him here in the first place.

“Gentlemen, welcome to District 12.”

Coriolanus stood by your side while another officer went in front of the line of boys.

“This is Edmund Flare,” he gestures to Edmund at the post, “A known rebel sympathizer, and a troubled citizen of District 12.”

Another Peacekeeper runs over and passes the man a gun. You grab Coriolanus' arm in protest.

“More likely than not, you will have to shoot Edmund one day in service of your country. We figured today we would give you the opportunity to save yourself the trouble in the future.”

The first young boy is given the gun.

“You get one shot before you have to wait for that day to naturally come.’’

Edmund holds his head up high to show he is not afraid. But you were. You were terrified. A strong urge to go over and rip the gun out of the young boys hands presented itself but you knew you would be pulled back before you could even stand close enough to touch him,

The boy checks the gun for the trigger, earning a laugh from everyone but you and Coriolanus.

Eventually he finds it, and he takes aim.

The shot misses by a mile.

“Coriolanus please.” He remains emotionless, watching the scene before him. He stood as if it was a street performance, hands clasped behind his back and perfect posture to get a good view.

“Wait! Wait!” you call out but the men continue. Another boy steps up and takes the gun.

He takes less time to examine the gun before firing a shot. Edmund flinches as it wizzes past his shoulder.

‘‘Coriolanus! Stop this. Just please stop, untie hi-”

The next shot is fired causing you to spin around to ensure that Edmund was still standing. He was tall and stupidly proud.

“I’ll never forgive you if one of them hurt him!” you threaten but it doesn’t even earn you a glance.

“Do you love him?”

“No” you answered firmly and fast, “No, Coriolanus. Please stop.”

Another shot is taken.

“Because if you loved him now would be the time to tell me, because I would hate to break apart lovers.”

The third shot lands next to Edmunds boot. You felt physically sick watching the scene. Your legs shook and would soon give way.

The men start to whoop and cheer the young recruits on. It gives the next young boy confidence to take a step closer to take his shot but it misses all the same.

You can’t tear your eyes off Edmund as the next recruit takes aim. They look each other in the eyes. Never spoken a word and already enemies.

The shot is taken but wizzes past Edmunds head.

You shake your head no. You knew telling him that you loved Edmund would sign his death certificate.

“He’s my brother's friend, Coriolanus. We grew up together.”

The next shot hit the pole but not the target, causing you to yelp.

Loud cheering snapped you out of your daze. Begging would get you nowhere.

Instead you take his shoulders into your arms and turn him towards you.

“He looked after me before you. I would have been dead long before you got to me if it wasn’t for him”.

Coriolanus throws his eyes back to Edmund which was not the desired effect.

You change positions, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling his attention back down to you.

“I didn’t tell him that you’d taken his role. The other night he was just trying to protect me as you would’ve.”

He finally looks down at you.

“Please, don’t kill him, Coriolanus. I could never forgive myself.” Your voice begins to shake. You were so nervous for Edmunds safety. Your knees buckled and tears threatened to spill from your eyes.

He takes the side of your face into his hands.

“Do you love him?”

You shake your head feverishly, “No, Coriolanus.”

“Do you love him?” You feel his fingers tighten on your face.

“Yes.” you admit.

“Do you love me?”

Through gritted teeth a ‘yes’ resounds.

“More than him?”

A shot whizzed into the crowd as the new recruit lost control of the gun and Coriolanus pulled his body over yours.

The officers scold the boy. Taking the waving gun away. The shot landed into the train station wall but it was a close call for those standing in front of it.

He removes your arms from him and you watch him walk over to the officer holding the gun.

He takes it and aims at Edmund who stood straight and tall.

You shrink as the gun fires. Unable to look, you cover your face with your hands.

The cheering made no impact on your confidence. You couldn’t hear Edmund from their excitement. So you reluctantly open your eyes to see him still standing.

The bullet had made it straight to the middle of the painted target.

Coriolanus stood taking aim still, as if he was still considering firing another shot.

Edmund stared back, almost daring him.

“Commander.” you call. You don’t call him by his name, not in front of people.

Coriolanus lowers the gun but keeps his eyes on Edmund as he speaks,

“Load them up and head back to the compound.” he passes the gun to the closest officer and turns back to where you stood.

“Cut him loose.” he calls back.

When he tosses his arm around you and pulls you back to the truck, you turn back to see Edmund surrounded by Peacekeepers.

People mummer as you walk past but your ears buzzed too loudly to hear a word.

You felt so weak as you walked. You thought you were going to collapse before you could make it to the van. But with Coriolanus’s strong hold on you, you made it back.

He climbs in first and reaches down to pull you up. He sits you on his knee instead of on the ground and you watch as the peacekeepers, old and new, return to the truck.

You don’t even have it in you to feel embarrassed as eyes locked into you.

No one said anything to Coriolanus on the way back.

As soon as the truck opens back in the compound, you are the first to jump out. You hear Coriolanus footsteps as he followed you back to the apartment.

You immediately take a seat at the kitchen table and Coriolanus gets you a cup of water. You stare at it in front of you.

“Edmund died today, as far as you are concerned.”

Closing your eyes to the image of him, you nod your head.

He could hear Coriolanus moving around the apartment but you couldn’t care what he was doing.

When he slams something down in front of you, you open your eyes to see a piece of paper and a pen.

“I want you to write to your brother and tell him about us.”

You couldn’t. Your brother was hot headed, and powerless. He would cause only problems for himself trying to get back.

“What would be the point? He is over in District 8.”

“My family are in the Capitol, yet they know about you.”

Shock strikes you knowing that his family knew of Coriolanus’s actions.

“Write to him,” he pushes, “tell him that we are together. How you feel.”

You pen a half-hearted letter about how you met a man. Coriolanus, you called him, Not Commander Snow. You tell him how you miss him, and that your mother is okay. That Coriolanus is ensuring that your basic needs are met. Don’t worry, you tell him, you’re perfectly safe.

Coriolanus reads it after you are done before folding it and placing it in his pocket.

He slides another piece of paper over in front of you.

“Now write to Tigris and my grandmother. Tigris suggested it would make you feel better, already knowing someone in the Capitol.”

You pick up the pen and write again, but your mind remains on the image of Edmund being used as target practice. You make yourself a promise that you would never meet his cousin or his grandmother. Their letters are as close as they will get before you could escape.

—------

Coriolanus amped up his work schedule even more. Eager to break free from his responsibilities and solve the mystery of Lucy Gray.

You were left alone at night which was preferable to his company but you felt yourself going crazy with only your own company.

You tried to keep a routine to fill the day. It was mostly taken up by cleaning tasks.

After dinner you would wash and dry the dishes, wipe the countertops and table and sweep and mop the floor. Then you would retire to the living room with your sewing or polishing work until it was time for bed.

There is a quiet tapping on the window disturbing you from securing the buttons on Coriolanus’s shirt.

No fear ran through you wondering who it could be. They couldn’t get in to harm you anyway. So you peer out from the window.

“Edmund” you gasp.

His left eye was blackened, a large bruise formed around the bloodshot vessels. A purple bruise marked his cheek and there was a cut on his right eyebrow.

“How did you get in?”

He hold a pair of wire cutters up to the window.

“Are you okay? God I was so worried about you.”

“Ah,” Edmund smiles and replaces the wire cutters with a small knife from his pocket, “Takes more than that.”

“What are you doing?” you hiss. If Coriolanus found him, there was no way Edmund would escape death a second time.

“Getting you out of here.”

“You can’t be here. He’ll be home soon.”

“I know. I’ve been here every night since i’ve been well enough. I told you, you’re not alone.”

“The Peacekeepers-’’

“There’s a fifteen minute window where this section is blind.” The lock wiggles but resists being opened under pressure, “And he just entered the infantry to wish our poor peacekeepers a speedy recovery. We have time.”

The door was determined to chew most of it up, however.

“Edmund, what did he do to you?” his face was swollen from the bruising, and you could see large black and purple spots peeking out from under his shirt.

“The day after he took you, he sent Peacekeepers to my home. They took me back to the compound and showed me some ‘hospitality’”.

“Edmund,I am so sorry,” you begin to cry, “I never should have taken the oat bars to the jail.”

You remembered the day at the market that set off the chain of events.

You remember seeing the man, he stood out amongst the crowd. Dirty, torn clothes. An arm missing, no doubt from the district's mining work. There wasn’t much work for men outside of it.

A sense of pity overwhelmed you, so when he swiped a loaf of bread off the table, you looked the other way. Unfortunately a watchful Peacekeeper did not.

The man's plea echoed through your mind as he was taken away; “Please, I am so hungry.”

It led you to making the oat bars not only for him, but for all the others punished for their hunger.

You remembered a rumor that there was a hole at the west end of the jail for the Peacekeepers to sneak out from, and women of the night to sneak in. You were surprised to find out it was actually true.

“This is not your fault, okay. I am going to get you outta here, and we’ll go to the mountains okay? Where it’s safe. Like planned.”

You nod your head.

The door jingles as Edmund tries to force it open with his knife. It doesn’t bulge.

“Edmund, my mother, is she okay?”

“She’s okay. She’s already up the mountains.”

“How? She could barely walk?”

“I carried her.”

The guilt came crashing down on you. Edmund had his own family to look after. They wouldn’t survive without him.

“Edmund. Stop. I can get the key,” you weren’t sure if you actually could, “You need to go. Just tell me where you cut the hole.”

He stops trying to wedge the door with the knife so you could hear him clearly.

“There’s three big bins out by the back,” he points to the direction, “I cut a hole behind the middle one. It’ll take you to the south forest. I’ll wait there.”

“No,” you interject, “No. Wait for me in the mountains.”

He rolls his eyes and picks up his work of jamming his knife in the door.

“You’ll never make it up the mountain by yourself.”

“At home then! Just stay away from here.”

The plea was for both you and him.

“You can get the key and get out?” He asks in a serious tone, looking at you once more.

“Yes.” you confirm.

He sighs as he pockets his knife, “When?”

The Commander kept his keys by the night stand. You think you could remember which one opened the door.

“Soon.”

“A week. I’ll give you a week before I come back with something stronger.”

You nod your head in agreement.

“Thank you, Edmund.”

“You’re my girl.” he remarks as it was an obvious motivation for his work.

You shiver at his words.

————

You don’t sleep well at night so you have taken to having naps while Coriolanus is at work. He is home more often now. He had got ahead of a considerable amount of work which meant nights were spent together.

Most nights he would take you walking around the compound for fresh air after dinner. You tried to memorize the key he used to unlock the door but there were so many that all looked the same. You wondered how he even knew.

He is anxious now that he found out you were sleeping in the living room and has taken to chaining you together as you slept. He cuffed one of his wrists and one of yours, making sleep impossible as he basically slept on top of you now.

It was only three days after Edmunds promise, that you woke from your nap with the sight of Coriolanus packing your clothes into a bag.

“What are you doing?” you ask.

Was he moving you to your own apartment?

He drops the bag and comes over to sit next to you on the bed.

“Hey,” he greets “You need to get up now. We are going to go away for the weekend.”

You sit up away from him, “Where are we going?”

Vacations were not a thing in District 12.

“The Capitol?” you guessed.

“No, not the Capitol.”

You sigh in relief. Still he had not answered your question.

“Where then?”

He gets up from the bed and zips the bag up.

“Do you not trust me?”

You get up from the bed to see he had laid a dress on the end of the bed for you.

‘‘I just want to know where we are going.”

“You took me to a special place, and now I want to take you somewhere, okay?”

Throwing the duffle bag filled with spare clothes for you and him, over his shoulder he exits the room.

You change and his way out to the living room. There would be no point in fighting. You were going to find out where he was taking you at some point.

The living room was empty, but the door swung wide.

With the door being left open for you, you took the stairs down to where Coriolanus was loading the back of a patrolling truck.

You saw a small cooler of food, one of the old pans, bedding and pillows, a small bag of toiletries and the clothes bag. He had packed in a hurry. The bags were thrown in without care. They were far apart from each other and more items than not were upside down.

“We’re not coming back?” you ask.

“We’ll stay a night or two.” Or however long it takes to find Lucy Gray’s body.

He holds open the door and you follow his silent command to get in. You spot the rifle tucked between the seat and the console. It makes you rethink your decision of complacency.

“My special place didn’t need a gun.”

He takes your arm and gently pushes you forward into the car, but you tug back against him.

“It’s nothing. Just a precaution.”

He gently pushes you again to move.

“Get in.” he barks.

“No.”

He takes a harsh grip this time on your arm and leads you back to the cage where Peacekeepers kept people who disturbed the peace.

He pushed you into the small space amongst the bags.

It was big enough that you could sit with your back against the wall but it would only leave an inch of space between your head and the roof. The back was caged in so the rebels couldn’t reach the officers in front, and the length was long enough to fit three or four rebels at one time. Albeit a tad uncomfortably.

You bang on the metal divide as he slams the door shut and begins to drive.

“Coriolanus, you don’t have to do this. I could just go home.”

He drives through the middle of the district to the out of bounds forest, where Peacekeepers were waiting armed and ready by the electric fence line. They buzz the parting gate open and seal it shut again once the car passes.

Past the gate, it was just you and him. What would he want to take you to a secluded forest for. A million reasons run through your mind and they all end with you dead.

“How are you doing back there?” he calls from the front. The car as it powers through the harsh conditions almost drowns him out.

“Where are you taking me?” you demand to know, “What’s out past the boundary line that you set up?”

Was he hiding something out there? Was that the reason he set up the fence? Not to keep people contained but to hide something.

“There’s a cabin I know of. There’s a lake too. I think you’ll like it.”

You watch from the front window, looking out for landmarks that could lead you back home. The dark clouds that roll fourth threaten to destroy anything you can remember.

The path to the cabin is ingrained in his mind since he walked back a different man. He weaved through the gaps in the forest without looking at his father’s compass.

“Did Lucy Gray like it?”

He ignores your comment and you don’t speak again.

—---

When you reach the cabin it is old and run down. Vines cover the walls of the house, patching up the rotten wood.

Coriolanus seemed nervous to be there. His hand flexes as it reaches for you.

The door had been sealed shut with moisture and it took three hard shoulder charges from Coriolanus to get it open. He invites you in with a hand on your shoulder, shutting the door behind you before retaking your hand in his.

You could smell the dust as you stood in the small living room. The cabin was small and colorless. Mostly everything was made from wood. From the small kitchen table and chairs to the bed you could see in the adjacent room. The only thing that was metal was an old fire stove, and a few decorative pieces.

Leaves had blown in from holes in the roof scattering the floor. The place looked like it hadn’t been touched in years. You would have thought the place was abandoned since its creation if there weren’t bags upon the floor. Despite its appearance, someone had been here before you and Coriolanus.

He lets go of you to rush over to the bags. He unzips one and pulls out a colorful dress. The way he lets out a laughy breath sends shivers down your spine.

“Lucy Gray’s?” you ask but you already know the answer. He had taken her here to kill her, maybe under the guise of running away together, and now he has taken you here to kill you.

Coriolanus shrugs as if he doesn’t know and shoves the dress back in the bag.

“Whoever it belongs to is long gone.”

He continues to look through the bags for anything missing while you glance at the door.

You think about making a run for it. Surely you would have a better chance in the forest then against him. You feel your feet slowly turning in the direction of the door when his speaking interrupts you.

“I’ll take this junk outside.” he gathers the bags, slinging one over his shoulder and carrying the other two in his hands.

You don’t speak as he comes over to you.

“Are you okay?” he asks, noticing your uptight demeanor.

“Fine. You?” Was he being driven to a quiet rage with thoughts of Lucy Gray?

“Perfect.”

He places a quick kiss to your lips before carrying the bags outside.

You look at the gun on the floor. If you ran now while he was busy outside it would give you a head start. Surely he would need to come back to get the gun before chasing you. He couldn’t do it with his bare hands.

You could feel his hands around your throat and knew he could.

You bolt through the door and down the old steps but run into him as he comes back up.

He had only taken to throwing the old bags by the side of the house, planning to sink them alongside of the guns in the lake at a later point.

“Whoa” he stops you with his hands, “Where are you going?”

“The bags. To get the bags out of the car.”

He looks out to the forest as if he had heard something.

“Get back inside. I’ll get them.”

You watch him from the window bring the items in. He was cautious and kept glancing at the forest.

You did not want to end up a ghost among the forest with Lucy Gray. You wanted to live. To go up to the mountains with Edmund and be shielded in his arms.

As Coriolanus finished his second trip with the bags, he used an old chair still there and pinned it under the door handle to prevent it from opening.

You promised yourself that you would make it to the mountains. Coriolanus would not kill you and bury your body next to Lucy Gray.

You felt as if you were in the Hunger Games.

You were going to be the victor.

Coriolanus looked unbothered by these thoughts as he tried to light a fire in the old stove.

He gets it going and as he puts his matches back in, he notices you still in a tense form.

“It’s only for tonight. We’ll go home tomorrow afternoon.”

“Will we?” you spat. “Why are we here anyway?”

‘To kill me. Say it, you coward’, you thought.

“It’s quiet,’’ he suggests, “Some place quiet where we can be alone.”

“Is this where you took Lucy Gray?”

He slams a pan down on top of the hot surface.

“I didn’t know Lucy Gray. I’ve told you.” He opens a pack of sausages and throws them down without care before tossing the leftover garlic potatoes you cooked the night before in as well.

“Did you bury her out here?” you push.

He ignores you. Pushing around a sausage with the knife he used to cut open the packet.

“Are you going to bury me out here?”

“I have never hurt you.”

“You starved me, hit me, nearly killed my mother. You call that not hurting me?”

You felt your blood boiling. It was one thing to make your life a living hell, it was another to deny he did it.

He drops the knife and turns to face you.

“Have you starved under me? Has your mother?” he hits his chest with his next words, “You eat because of me. You sleep in a bed that I paid for. I provide for you. Me.”

He stalks towards you causing you to stumble back. You hit a wall but feel a rusted piece of metal under your fingertips. You grab it from the desk but keep it low from his sight.

“Everything has happened to you because you strayed, and you want me to apologize for it?”

“I want you to admit to what you did.” What you are about to do, so I don’t feel guilty.

He grabs hold of the bar and pulls it from you.

“I did not kill Lucy Gray,” he said earnestly. But he wished he had.

He throws the rusted object across the room and it lands with a heavy clang.

“And I am not going to kill you. You don’t think you’ve done enough already to get yourself hanged? I protected you from that. Not Edmund.”

Your breath hitches as you hear his name.

The smell of burning and sounds of angry popping infiltrates the room. Coriolanus leaves you to deal with it. The sausages were charred on one side but raw on the other. After a quick flip, Coriolanus returned his attention to you.

“Sit on the ground, by my boots.’’

You eye your weapon on the other side of the room but he was stronger, faster, you would never get it and wield it in time. Night time would be the best chance of escape. The cabin had no lock on it, and you were sure you could make it to the mountains from here. But first you had to get Coriolanus off his guard. He still carried his cuffs with him. Escape would be impossible if you were locked in place.

So you sit on the ground and wrap yourself around his leg as he cooks.

He liked the feeling of you anchoring him. It made him feel secure.

He cooks in silence, tossing the items in the pan so they wouldn’t burn. Cutting a sausage in half, he could see it was done, but he had forgotten plates.

Instead he takes the pan off the stove and carefully sits down across from you on the floor. The pan sizzles as it is placed between you on the floor. It didn’t matter if it burnt the wooden floor. The cabin was so run down, it hardly made a difference. Coriolanus pokes a potato with his knife and brings it up to you.

He wouldn’t give you the knife after the pipe incident. You bite the hot potato off and Coriolanus had his turn.

You could tell the rocky temper was still floating around in him. He had calmed but his face still spoke of his annoyance. His necklace overlaid his shirt, your ring called out to you.

“Give me your dog tag.”

“What?” he responds.

“If you’re not going to kill me, then let me wear your necklace. I’ll give it back at the compound, but if you do kill me, you’ll be forced to wear your guilt around your neck.”

You wanted your ring back before you left him forever.

“I am not going to kill you.” he sighs, taking a bite of sausage.

“Then give me the necklace.”

You hold your hand out for it, which Coriolanus eyes.

Dropping the knife into the pan, he maneuvers the tag of his neck, bypassing your hand and dropping it over your head.

You felt the ring scratch you as it landed.

“Happy now? Will you stop acting crazy?”

You hold the pendants in your hand and nod in agreement

The rest of the night was uneventful. He sets up lamps as it darkens and teaches you a card game. You lost every round, even the ones he tried to let you win. It was a strategy game and you didn’t have the head for it.

The game only lasted an hour before you were helping Coriolanus set up the bed. He had brought along air beds from the Capitol that inflated and deflated by a push of a button. He pushes them together and you made a bed out of the queen sized bedwear from the apartment.

As he went to sleep with you wrapped safely in his arm, he thought about how he was going to get you to stay inside while he went searching the woods.

He couldn’t tell you what he was looking for or who he was looking for. Nor could he take you with him under the guise of a leisurely walk. If Lucy Gray was out there he didn’t want you anywhere near her. He knew there were four more other cabins in these woods. Just because she hadn’t come back for her mother’s dress, didn’t mean she wasn’t out there. If anything, if she was alive it would be the last place she went back to. She was smart, she would have known that Coriolanus would one day come back to find the mystery of Lucy Gray. She was probably trying to throw him off her scent.

You wiggle, pulling the blanket higher over you and it brings his attention closer to home.

Maybe he could lock you in the back of the car while he searched.

He decided he was going to do something nice for you after this. For putting you through it all. Get your measurements and commission Tigris for a new dress, perhaps. Or buy you a necklace of your own.

Maybe both. He had the money for it for the first time in his life. And he did owe you an apology and a thank you for being here with him tonight.

He could see how scared you were thinking that your protector was turning against you. After yesterday, he perhaps should have waited a day or two before taking you away. He at least should have been more gentle in the approach, so you didn’t think he would harm you for his anger towards Edmund.

Coriolanus understood him in a way that saved him from being shot. He was just looking out for you, the same way Coriolanus would have. He and Edmund both wanted to take care of you but your heart only had place for one. And that spot rightfully, and wholly belonged to Coriolanus Snow. Edmund did his job of keeping you alive for Coriolanus and he was rewarded when the bullet went behind him and not into his skull. But now it was Coriolanus’s turn and both Edmund and you needed to learn that.

Coriolanus mind slowed as you stilled beneath him.

You will yourself to be still. You count your breaths out to mime sleeping. Coriolanus’s hold on your shoulder falls as he sleeps but you don’t make a move just yet. Half-scared that he would wake when you got up.

It wasn’t until it started to pour rain that you decided to stop stalling and make a move.

Carefully you rose, and the chains of his arms fell off you. The rain pelting down covered the sound of the air mattress as you moved off it.

The rain, as it turns out, was a blessing and not a punishment.

You had left your boots and dress next to you for easy access. Stripping yourself of your nightdress, you quickly change and tie up your boots.

Coriolanus had taken to sleeping in his underpants, now that you weren’t in a position to indirectly persuade him to dress in his nightwear. He liked the feeling of skin to skin with you but you beg him to keep his t-shirt on. You hated the feeling of his skin pressed against yours. He obliged.

Your boots squeak against the old floor boards as you walk across it to the door. Causing you to wince at every step, but you do manage to reach the door without waking him.

You try to gently tug the chair from under the door but it was jammed. Turning back to see him still sleeping, you tug a bit harder, but only the door knob jiggles. You cringe as he moves slightly on his back. You would have a harder time escaping the compound than here. There were no armed guards or sniffing dogs. Just you and him, and you had a head start. You had to pluck up the courage now.

The chair scraps against the floor but you manage to get it free.

There is a second where nothing moves or makes sound. You almost think you got away scot-free.

“What are you doing?” You hear his voice and turn to see him sitting up dazed.

Your answer is the throwing open of the door and running out. You hear him jump up as you do.

He yanks on his Commander’s pants and boots, leaving the laces untied.

It was too late by the time he got out you were nowhere to be seen.

He felt his heart jump from his chest. This couldn’t be happening. It was just a bad dream that he would wake from. But the icy water pouring down on him told him that it was true. You had betrayed him like Lucy Gray.

Lucy Gray. What if she was out in the woods where you ran? She was the victor of the hunger games, you were a lost lamb. You wouldn’t stand a chance against her. She would tear you to shreds if she thought she could get back at Coriolanus.

He thinks about returning to the cabin and retrieving his gun but you were already too far out of reach.

He yells out for you.

The rain poured down soaking you to the bone, but covered your tracks as you ran.

“Y/N!” he screams. You battle the rain as you ran through the forest. Pushing yourself to go faster.

“Hey, it’s dangerous out here. Lets go back to the cabin. Talk about this.”

His wild eyes scan the area for any sign of movement. The rain hindered his vision but he could hear the faint sound of branches snapping under your foot.

“Do you honestly think you can run from me? That I won’t find you?”

You don’t answer and he screams out some more

“Y/N! Come out now! This isn’t funny!”

You stumble as your dress caught on a tree, it grazes your arm as you pull, leaving a nasty cut.

He screams loudly out of frustration. The rain seemed to slow down to a trickle as he did, as if it was also scared.

“You stupid, little girl” you can hear him as he walks, he was catching up. You couldn’t outrun him so you slowed your pace, focusing your efforts on hiding.

“When I catch you…” he doesn’t finish his sentence.

You press yourself against the tree. Your arm stung from the cut and your lungs burned from your efforts.

“Hey, who do you think will reach your mother first?” he taunts.

You knew it wouldn’t be him. She was safe in the mountains and soon you would be too.

“Y/N. That’s enough.”

You slink to the next tree and focus on quieting your breathing. His footsteps got louder as he gained ground.

“Y/N, I said that’s enough!” He picks up a large tree branch and walks forward with it.

“You’re going to get lost in the forest. There’s worse things than me out there.”

He imagined you wandering, lost amongst the trees. Lucy Gray, savage and wild, following you. You wouldn’t see her as a threat when she introduced herself. You were too sweet. You would willingly follow her back to wherever she was hiding and by the time you sense the danger of her, it would be too late.

He needed to find you. To make sure you were alright. That Lucy Gray hadn’t got her hands on the only pure thing in his life.

“Look it’s not too late. We can just forget this happened. Go back to the compound.” he offers but you knew it wasn’t true.

You hold your brother's ring in your hand and make an attempt to move forward.

You made it to the next tree but hear Coriolanus stop walking.

With the rain slowing, it was harder not to make a noise.

A loud banging spooked you as he threw the wood against the tree you were hiding behind. You knew you should have stayed still, he was only testing, but your feet took off before your mind could command them not too.

He felt better seeing you run off. You ran uninjured and with no one following you.

He takes off after you, determined not to lose sight again.

Both of you run through the forest and rain. You felt as though he might eat you alive if he caught you, but he was faster. All too soon, you feel hands on your waist, pulling you down. You scream as you sink into the mud, trashing under his weight.

He sits on your thighs and keeps your hands pinned against the dirt floor.

“What were you thinking?” He spat. You had never seen him look so upset. His face scrunched, eyebrows furrowed, his eyes looked down at you in a crazy panic.

“How could you be so stupid?”

You toss under him, screaming at him to release you.

“Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?”

You kick your feet in an attempt to buck him off, but he was too heavy.

“Shut up,” he grabs your jaw and stills it in his direction, “You stupid, stubborn, fool of a girl. What was your plan? Huh? Wander around the forest and hope you make it back to District 12?”

You don’t answer and he tightens his hold.

“It was foolish. What if something got you in the forest?’’

What if Lucy Gray got you in the forest.

“Do you have any idea what that would have done to me?”

“I don’t care,” you cry.

“You don’t care?” he says, astonished.

He sits back off you and pulls you up by your arms.

“When you were hungry, I cared.” he pulled you along back to the cabin.

“When you didn’t have money for rent, I cared.” You wriggle your arm, but his hold was too tight.

“Clothes for the winter, medicine for your mother. I cared. And what do I get for it?”

You latch yourself onto a tree. It grounds you as he tries to tug you off it.

“All I ever wanted from you was for you to care.”

He yanks you off the tree and shoves you forward.

“You would think after everything, I would be entitled to it.”

“Coriolanus, please let go of me.” you buck against him.

He tightens his hold, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you off the ground.

He throws you across the floor as you reenter the cabin, going to get his cuffs from his bag. You scramble away from him as he gets closer but he stands over you, trapping your wrist in the cuff and hooking it around the leg of the oven and then trapping your wrists.

He stood back over you.

“Look at you,” he spat, “You wouldn’t have lasted the night out there.”

The cut on your arm bleed down, your hair was tangled with twigs and mud. You looked pitiful.

“Let me go, Coriolanus. I won’t tell anyone.”

He lowers himself down to the ground, placing his knees either side of you. He places the weight of him on your legs. You hated the feeling, as now you were fully immobilized.

He speaks slowly and dangerously with your face in his hands.

“If you ever try to leave me again, there will be nothing you could do that would save Edmund”.

Do you understand?”

You nod, but it seemed to anger him.

“I asked if you understood,” he yells.

“Yes. Yes. I understand.”

“How stupid could you be? So worried about me killing you, you decide to do it yourself.”

“I wasn’t thinking,” you just wanted him to get off you. His weight was crushing.

“I doubt you’ve ever thought something useful in your life. Use to everybody else doing it for you.”

His hands tangle in your hair forcing you to keep still.

“I’ll do your thinking for you from now on. Your next independent thought, I’ll smash from your skull, understand?”

“Yes.” you cry. The night proved too much for you. The hope of getting away now crushed under his foot.

Your chest heaves with sobs. The panic of being a sitting duck waiting to be killed courses through you, it was a choking sensation.

He takes his wet form off of you and towards the door.

The night was getting to him too. He felt as if history was repeating itself. Back in the forest with little control.

He goes to the side of the house where the bags layed and stuffed them with as many heavy rocks as he could find.

They were heavy as he picked them back up and takes the old boat out to the middle of the lake. The bags sink easily with the rocks, and join the guns at the bottom. His past was officially buried. He now only had the future to look forward to. A future with him as President of Panem, and you by his side.

He rows the boat back to shore. The rain soaked him again and his shirt clung uncomfortably on his skin. It sticks the cold to his chest and his mind floats back to you inside. You were sure to catch a cold if he didn’t move fast.

Entering the house, he could see he was correct from the way your body shivered.

Wiping off the water from his face with his soaked shirt, he goes to his bag and pulls out a fresh shirt for himself. He could still hear you crying as he changed into dry shirt and underpants.

He takes one of his long sleeve off-duty button ups and a towel he wanted to be used from swimming in the lake and brings them over to you.

He had brought you a spare change of clothes but after tonight he felt like he needed the extra security and you needed a extra reminder.

You flinch as he drops down on his knees.

“I am going to uncuff you so you can change.”

You sniffle and he takes it as confirmation to move. With your hands unlocked, you battle with Coriolanus over your clothes. He grasps the end of your dress, beginning to hike it up but you push down the fabric.

“I can-” you manage.

“I do the thinking for you, remember.”

You don’t fight as he yanks the wet dress over you, throwing it behind him carelessly. He keeps his eyes as forward as he can as he slides the sleeves up your arms. Only looking down as he does up the buttons. It was oddly gentlemanly and you wonder if he did it for his sake or yours.

“Stop,” you beg, as you feel his fingers hook over the elastic of your underwear. He doesn’t, going as far as to help you put on a fresh pair. He cuffs you once more to the oven before bringing one of the blankets and pillows back over.

He lays the blanket over you without a word and props the pillow under your head before returning to makeshift bed.

He lays on his side away from you, but you gather he doesn’t sleep, as an hour or so later he brings his pillow and blanket and curls up against your side.

He gets his rest, but you are left in a state of shock that hinders your sleep.

————-

Early the next morning you woke from the sound of Coriolanus stomping in the kitchen. He was eating beef jerky for breakfast. You wake with the sight of him leaning back against the wood counter, towards you. You try to sit up as much as you can while being tied down.

Looking at the food, your stomach grumbles.

“Hungry?” he asks.

You nod in hope that mercy would be given to you.

None was.

“Imagine how hungry you would be lost in the woods.”

“I would have made it back.” you contend.

He strips off another piece as he answers, “You would be dead if I didn’t find you.”

He throws the packet on the counter. It sits unbalanced on the side.

“Are we going home?” You saw the bags were neatly packed in a pile and you thought calling the compound ‘home’ might earn you some beef jerky.

“I have something I have to do. We’ll be back by this afternoon.”

“What do you have to do?”

“None of your business.” he snaps.

The conversation ended as he walks over to the bags and picked up his gun that was resting against them.

You watch him, dressed down in his white t-shirt and army pants, as he swings his rifle over his shoulder.

“I’ll be back soon.” he comments, half way out the door.

He walks through the forest at a slow pace. Careful not to miss the smallest bit of detail.

Retracing the steps of that day, he makes it to where he was bitten by the snake.

Time had overtaken the hunting ground. There was now grass where the earth once was.The branches and trees had healed from the damage done.

He eyes the place where he attempted to shoot Lucy Gray and aims his gun like he did.

He half-expected to see her in the space waiting for him, but it was just ground again. No clues were left for him to find.

There was no rotten smell overtaking his nose. No scrap of clothing left for him to find, or anything to indicate human life had been moving through the forest.

He continues to walk through.

The mockingjays squawk above him. If he was a better shot, he would have taken the time to kill at least some of them. But you would hear the gunfire and panic.

With no sign of Lucy Gray, he continues his way up to the other cabins. He searches each one but they look untouched and run down. The heat of the sun beats down on him as he makes his way back. It was early afternoon by the time he had satisfied himself that Lucy Gray was nowhere in the woods. She could have made it back to District 12, but it was unlikely. He kept tabs on the Covey for months after he got back. He surely would have known if they were hiding her. She must have gone north like planned. He wondered if she made it, or if her body is now one with the earth.

Either way, she was gone and Coriolanus could shake her from his memory.

When he returned back to the cabin, you were busy yanking on your chains.

He presses the point of the gun into your ankle, pinning it against the floor. You don’t try moving under threat. He slides the gun slowly up your leg, over your calf, over your knee, inching up to the middle of your thigh under his shirt. You pulled against your chains, but don't verbally acknowledge you were scared.

“Open your legs wider.” he demands. Instead you squeeze your thighs tighter together.

He pushes the gun with more force against you.

“I am in a very good mood. You would hate to ruin that wouldn’t you?”

Deciding you would, you separate your legs. He nestles himself between you, pulling you closer by your thighs so your legs are past his hips.

Thankfully the gun settles on the floor.

“I think we should talk about last night.”

You shake your head no and he gives you a serious look.

“Every time I give you an inch, you take a mile.”

“I thought you were going to kill me.”

“I have been nothing but patient and kind to you.”

You wanted to laugh at him but forced it down. It was not too late for you to end up dead in the forest.

“I know, Coriolanus. And I am sorry. It’s just no one has ever cared for me like this before”.

He laughs gently at you, “You’re trying at least.”

“It scared me. But if you give me another chance, I promise I won’t disappoint you.”

He lays his body down on yours, keeping his weight off you by planking on his elbows.

“You can have as many chances as it takes.” he promises, softly.

“Just one more.” you return in the same small voice.

He kisses you as if you had earnestly promised to live up to his expectations.

But really what you promised is that you would allow yourself one more chance of escape before he made good on his promise to kill your mother and Edmund. If you lead to their death, then you would follow them shortly after.

---------------------------

NEXT CHAPTER

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#coriolanus snow #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #dark!coriolanus snow #coriolanus x reader #tom blyth #dead dove do not eat #commander snow #hunger games

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no-side-us · 7 months

Text

Letters From Watson Liveblog - Oct. 6

Charles Augustus Milverton, Part 3 of 3

This is an almost comical situation, as well as a pretty common trope nowadays. Sometimes I forget that these stories are over a hundred years old, and it makes me wonder whether this is the first instance of the sneaking-in-then-person-walks-in scene.

Holmes shouldering up to Watson and now grasping his hand is great. What's even better though is Watson intuitively understanding all these gestures and what they mean, which goes to show how close they are to each other.

I forgot the detail that the veiled woman here meets Milverton under the pretense of being a servant selling blackmail material. I had always remembered it as her being upfront about being a past victim from the beginning. I think I prefer the actual version here cause it catches Milverton off guard and puts him at a disadvantage for once.

I love that she unloads into him. A single bullet would probably be sufficient, but a barrage is much more emotional. It really adds to how angry she is. She's the real hero of this story really. I don't want to discount Holmes, it's just that if his plan succeeded Milverton would still be alive and blackmailing. With her, he can't do that anymore.

Not to give Milverton any credit, but it's impressive he can still talk after being shot so many times before dying.

Also, her grinding her heel into his face feels more visceral to me than the bullets for some reason. I think it's because the bullets had a purpose, i.e. to kill him, but crushing his face is clearly for her personal satisfaction.

I just wanted to show another example of Holmes and Watson's non-verbal understanding of each other through something as simple as a firm grip.

A very considerate action on Holmes' part. He could have just burned Lady Eva's letters, but if all the letters are there, next to a great big fire, might as well right? No harm done.

A classic moment. A part of me has always liked to think Lestrade knew, or at least heavily suspected, it was Holmes and Watson, mainly because of this line. Though if he's still alive to read this story years later then he'll know either way.

Is the veiled woman supposed to be a reference to someone well-known at the time, like an actual statesman's wife? I know Milverton was based on a real blackmailer, so I wouldn't be surprised if it was similar for her.

Great story, all in all. I really liked Milverton and his death, and it's a shame he's not more prominent in adaptations, but his story can really only end in one way, so it makes sense. Regardless, I had a lot of fun and look forward to The Six Napoleons.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

#letters from watson #charles augustus milverton #sherlock holmes #john h watson #inspector lestrade #arthur conan doyle #liveblogging sherlock holmes

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ahearthoficeandstone · 10 months

Note

Okay then!!!! What if the ro and mc were in a relationship but mc decides to leave because they miss their country and everything else but a day before they leave they faint and the healer tells them mc is pregnant? what would they do? Of course, this is only for the ro's who can get mc pregnant, lmao.

Like 'leave the relationship too' kind of leave I'm assuming? That's an interesting scenario 🤔

Well this got really long, I hope this is what you wanted at least of not well... damn lol. This is also not super lovey-dovey either, most of the ROs have gripes with having kids so it being a surprise isn't exactly good news for them😅

Augustus

Augustus respects mc's decision to leave, as saddened as he is he understands what it's like to be away from home and feel beholdened to your country. He hopes they can at least be penpals if anything else. When he hears news of mc fainting he is beside himself and trying not to pester Noel as they conduct a check up.

When Noel delivers the news Augustus is both excited and worried. Assuming mc keeps the child Augustus is more than happy to take responsibility. It is suggested mc stay until the child is born and in that time Augustus dotes on mc all the same, always checking in on his breaks to make sure mc is comfortable. If the mc leaves he will not leave with them, he can't as he has his own country to look after. But he suggests that when the child is older they split the amount of time the kid spends in each country. Behind the scenes he'd be grinding away at fixing up political relations so visits can be done more easily. If mc stays Augustus has a much easier time being in the child's life regardless of if mc decides to reconcile the relationship.

Noel

When mc tells Noel that you're leaving for home they would have already become withdrawn. Still polite but they revert to being consumed by their work. When mc faints they would be brought to Noel's wing of the clinic because that's who's been in charge of your health.

Regardless of their feelings Noel looks mc over and once they figure out the cause they have to take a moment to absorb this information. They do not exactly want kids nor do they feel it right to leave mc to raise a child that is both of theirs. They wait for mc to come to once more and calmly deliver the news, and depending on how mc reacts they will try to be a comforting presence.

Noel suggests mc stay put until the child, and will continue to act as a doctor and keep things professional. Ultimately they remain impartial, and make no moves to reconcile the gap in the relationship. If the child is kept or not is totally left up to mc. If the mc decides to leave and the relationship is not rebuilt, Noel will not be involved with the child. And they make this clear, they gave no intention of uprooting their life to simply be around the child. If the relationship is reconciled they would be highly hesitant but offer to come with mc. If mc decides to stay Noel will be involved in the child's life regardless of if mc tries to reconcile the relationship or not.

(Sorry if this sounds cold blooded but Noel isn't gonna risk losing the progress they've made over a child for a second time)

Laika

Laika is quite saddened at the fact you want to leave, especially to a place he cannot follow. At least not without a lot of prep done ahead of time, assuming mc has enough political power back home at least. Regardless she entirely removes herself from mcs life and tries to pretend to be unbothered.

When news gets back to her that mc is pregnant she is angry at herself and seethes on her own for some time before going to talk to mc about it. Mc is told to stay in Aea until the child us born to avoid unnecessary stress if they choose to keep the pregnancy. Laika knows about raising kids, he knows nothing about pregnancy but will try to help mc.

As the due date approaches he offers to come with to be there to help raise the kid, even if he despises the cold more than anything and even if it would be troublesome.

Volo

Volo didn't seem all that fazed when mc broke things off to return to living in H'afeara, nor was Volo fazed at the fact that mc passed out, or by the fact mc is pregnant.

When mc awakens Volo will be there while Noel delivers the news. If mc decides to keep the child and leave for H'afeara still Volo will offer to take on the responsibility of parenting. If mc stays the offer still stands, Volo cares little if mc wants to be involved as well. They simply do not wish for the child to be taken to such frigid lands.

(I'd elaborate but spoilers, you know how it is)

Venus

When mc told Venus they wanted to go home they are saddened but just nod and accept it. They help you prepare with the departure simply by because they are around you regardless. When mc faints they are likely the one to gave caught them as their bodyguard.

He is pacing back and forth and peeking over Noel's shoulder the whole check up. When Noel tells him what's what he is shocked and freaked out. They are painfully neutral about raising kids, but once mc awakens he offers to follow them up north after the child is born. Despite the problems it may cause he is willing to come with. This is assuming mc also wishes to reconcile the relationship, if not they won't come with but will attempt to visit and offer a similar set up to Augustus.

Diedre

When the relationship is broken off Diedre is quiet upset, and leaves mc alone to do what they gave to do to leave.

When Noel hits them with the news Diedre will try to get to mc as soon as they reasonably can. If mc decides to keep the child they are told to stay put until the child is born. In that time Diedre makes sure mc has the best attendants so they are in good hands, he knows he won't be much help a lot of the time.

When things calm down Diedre sits down with mc to talk the situation over more. He is willing to be involved in the child's life, regardless of if ever tries to reconcile the relationship. Though how he goes about depends on how long the relationship has been and his general health.

#if wip #a hearth of ice and stone #interactive novel #asks #augustus #volo #diedre #laika #noel #ser venus

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navree · 1 year

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again, very angry that hollywood seems to think that roman history stopped with antony cleopatra and then had some minor resurgences around jesus and gladiator when there's a story about augustus appearing unexpectedly as a surprise witness to a trial to defend the honor his very recently deceased beloved nephew (a few months after he himself had nearly died) and he literally wasn't even called by either side he just showed up out of the blue and said he was gonna testify and the defense attorney got mad and asked him why (apparently very rudely) and augustus just said that it was in the public interest that he testify so he was gonna do it. this guy was the brother in law of one of augustus's best friends. he later tried to kill him.

#personal #like i'll readily admit that if i ever make my biopic series i'm ending it at the latest at the illness of 22 bc #because i think that's a really good ending point to have him recover #and plus it gives opportunity for old characters to revisit in the form of like sickness hallucinations and dreams #but the entire murena debacle would be the most insane legal drama #especially considering the bit where augustus and maecenas fall out because of it #(even tho they did appear to reconcile)#god can someone just give me a hollywood budget PLEASE

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sarpedon · 2 years

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3 hour youtube video ranking roman emperors from least to most top-able. world is shocked by how low augustus ranks. augustus fanboys in the comments unsure whether to get angry that i called their idol an ugly nerd with ibs or to be pleased that i said he wasn’t that top-able. commodus is number one but that surprises no one.

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bowandcurtsey · 3 years

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Missing the BC boys? In that case, may I request about the four of them ditching or leaving very early a party, conference, meeting, whatever to go back to s/o who's sick, at the end of pregnancy or anything else that makes it difficult for her to leave her room and such? If it's not clear enough, I would gladly explain further. And by the way, your little fics are true gems!

Nozel | Fuegoleon | William | Yami x f! reader

Nozel Silva

Nozel Silva was absolutely bored at this party. He hated parties in the first place. If it wasn't that the king wanted all Magic Knight captains to be present (for his pride of course), he wouldn't even be here.

To make it worst, his mind constantly dwelled back to you who's pregnant and about to pop anytime. Worst still? He made you upset just before he left.

You wanted to head out for a little massage but Nozel refused, saying that you should stay home and called a masseuse in for you. But you argued that you were pregnant, not handicapped, and you needed to walk around, it would be good for the baby. Besides, you liked that particular masseuse, you always went to her.

But your husband was way too stubborn for that, all he could worry about was what if you went into labour while outside and he was here at this meaningless party.

He felt worst the more he thought about your angry and upset face before he left. He only wanted for you to be happy all the time, which was what he vowed when he married you. Now that you were pregnant with his child, the more he didn't want to upset you because it wasn't good for the baby.

Consumed with regret, he couldn't bear with it any longer. He went up to Fuegoleon, who seemed like he was almost bored to death as well.

"Fuegoleon. I would need a f-favour." he said softly.

His rival looked at him, amused. Nozel Silva has never asked him for a favour!

"Could you c-cover for me?" he said awkwardly, "y/n seems... unwell before I left."

Upon hearing your name, Fuegoleon immediately understood. The royal was worried for you as well. "Go, hurry. Send my regards to Lady y/n."

Nozel felt bad for lying, but he told himself it was a white lie. Technically, being upset was not well, right?

-----

"Honey." he quietly came into your shared room.

You were surprised to see him because he barely even left. "Why are you home so early?" your voice was cold because you were still upset at your husband.

"To bring you to the massage place that you wanted to go," he smiled softly.

"You snuck out of the party? Aren't you afraid king Augustus might be unhappy?" He was dressed to the nines and was looking so sharp, clean and.. handsome. He features were already beautiful, but in his high neck collar and a cravat, he looked so perfect.

"I was... worried." he looked at you from under his beautiful thick lashes.

All your anger dissipated in that moment and you couldn't help but press a kiss to your husband's lips. He must have been really sulky at the party earlier, being all worried about you.

His face brightened up instantly at your affection.

"We'll go another day, it's too late to go for a massage now, I think they're almost closing soon."

"I thought about that, so I invited your favourite masseuse to come over instead."

You gasped when you saw her coming in with a smile, "hello y/n! oh my god, you're due anytime aren't you?"

You glanced at your husband, who was smiling quite triumphantly, "How did you manage to call her over? She doesn't accept housecalls!"

Your husband leaned down to whisper in your ear, "I paid her ten times the amount of your usual massage," He pressed a kiss on your cheeks before heading out of the room, "Enjoy your massage, honey."

Fuegoleon Vermillion

The captain of the Crimson Lion was way beyond bored. He was in the diamond kingdom with some other magic knights from the other team for a conference meeting.

Initially he thought that it would be good to associate and exchange knowledge with other kingdom's military but after the first 2 days, it seemed that most people here were just around for free food and drinks and for the fun.

He saw many generals, knights and mages getting drunk and getting chummy with each other, it was just unsightly to him.

His mind wandered to you, his wife, whom he learnt from Leo secretly that you had been unwell for the last 2 days. He was uneasy and wanted to come home asap.

He went over to where Jack, who was stuffing himself with the free food.

"Oi, lion king! Want some food? Damn these beef cubes are hella good!" Jack said with food in his mouth.

"No thanks, but Jack.. do you think you can do me a favour?" the Vermillion looked at him with pleading eyes.

"What? If you want me to go train with you right now, it's a no." Jack raised his brows at his fellow captain, "you can ask pretty boy over there."

Fuegoleon looked over in Jack's view and saw Kirsch, presumingly showing off his beauty to a heart kingdom mage. He shook his head at his cousin before speaking again in a lowered voice to Jack, "no.. I heard that y/n is unwell, I want to leave early to see her.. could you handle the rest from here?"

Jack blinked as he looked at Fuego, "you want to dump me here as the only in charge and take care of all these dumb kids by myself?"

Fuegoleon pursed his lips. He and Jack were the main ICs for the clover kingdom knights, it would be irresponsible to just leave..

"I'm just pulling your leg red head," Jack smacked his back, "I'll slash them if they misbehave, just go back to Mrs Lion."

"I- thanks Jack." he smiled, feeling relieved, "I'll tell Kirsch to lend you a hand too.."

-----

"But Sis! My bro would hammer me if he came back and found you still unwell!!" Leo's voice was heard from your shared room, "You have to see the doctor!"

"I'm fine Leo.... I just need more sleep, alright? Don't let Fue know that I'm unwell." your voice sounded weak.

"Don't let me know what?" Fue's body lean against the door frame of your room, his arms crossed and one of his eyebrows raised.

"Brother! you're back!" Leo beamed, "Geez, you take care of your own girl, I'm leaving now!" the little lion cub shook his head as he left.

That traitor. You narrowed your eyes at his retreating back.

"Don't blame Leo, love," Fue chuckled at your expression as he came to sit by your side on the bed, "I called him and asked about you."

"It's just a cold, I must have slept without drying my hair properly the other night.." you sneezed before you finished your sentence.

Fue immediately wrapped you in his arms, radiating heat to warm you up, "I'm just gone for 3 days and you're already sick, do I have to drag you everywhere with me now?" he teased.

"Why are you back so early?" you pouted at his teasing, "I thought you'll be gone for about a week?"

"I missed my wife," his tapped his fingers on your nose, "But she didn't even tell me the truth about her getting sick.. I thought we made a vow, in sickness and in health?"

You lowered your eyes and looked at your man under your fluttering eyelash, pouting even more. You were indeed feeling guilty for lying to him, but you thought it was a white lie, for you didn't want him to worry..

"Fue, you can't just dump your work just like that y'know.. It's not right plus you were one of the ICs for the clover kingdom in this joint conference right..?"

"Yeah.. but most of the main stuff were over," he assured you, "now let me fufill the duties of a husband and take care of my sick wife."

William Vangeance

His body was at the heart kingdom for a joint training session with their Mages and Clover kingdom's knights, but his heart is with you, who was back at home nursing your injury.

Furthermore, you were injured during a mission, in which he was already feeling guilt for not taking care of you properly. Although you kept telling him that you were okay, but your man was just a huge softie he still blamed himself nonetheless.

"Watch out!" Gaja knocked William out of the way in time, avoiding an attack by one of the young mages that William was in charge of training.

"Are you hurt?" Gaja looked over at William, who shook his head. "You've been spacing out quite a bit sir Vangeance, is everything alright?"

William sighed, "I'm very sorry Gaja san, I'm just worried for someone back at home.."

"Ahhh," Gaja smiled, understanding what was going on, "Must be Lady y/n isn't it?"

William looked at him, shocked.

Gaja chuckled and patted William on the back, "Go, attend to her before coming back, our doors are always welcomed to you guys anyway. I'll take over the Junior Mages from here."

-----

You were struggling to pick up your purse that you dropped on the floor. One of your leg was in a cast, so it was really difficult for you to even move around, let alone bend down to pick up things.

As you tried stretching and straightening your leg, you lost your balance and tumbled. But before your face crashed face first onto the ground, a pair of hands caught you.

"Are you okay?!" A familiar voice rang at your ears.

"Darling! What are you doing back here?!" you were shocked to see that you were in the arms of your man, William.

His warm smile melted your heart and sent it beating in a frenzy, "I was too worried, I couldn't focus, honey.. So I got sent home."

"You got sent home like a little kid huh.." you chuckled, "Darling, I told you I could take care of myself and I'll be home, don't worry-"

"And look who's here falling face first to the floor and got caught in my arms?" he gave you the look. The look that he was absolutely right, his smile never changed but the shine in his eyes were determined and strong.

You gave a relenting sigh, "Okay.. but are you sure it's okay for you to be back here..?" you were worried that he'll be reprimanded.

"Nothing comes before you, honey. I would head back for extra time when you're better. I promised Gaja san." He picked you up and put you back into bed. "Now, let me serve you first."

Yami Sukehiro

"Bottoms up!" Jack shouted to Yami, "Look at all the free food and alcohol we have tonight~"

The Black Bulls captain was not really interested tonight, his mind flashed back to the image of you before he came to this party. Your belly was so round and full, carrying his child for him. It was difficult for you to walk around and your feet were swollen but you still persuaded him to come to this party, because Julius was making an important speech about the captains tonight.

"Yami," Julius tapped him on the shoulder, "you don't really look yourself tonight, did you fight with y/n?"

"Fight, your ass, old man!" Yami narrowed his eyes at the king, "I'm just waiting for you to make your little speech so I can leave to accompany my pregnant wife, who is about to pop anytime!"

"Oh.." Julius gave the man a sheepish smile, "Em, it's nothing much, just wanted to thank the captains for their hard work..."

Yami raised an eyebrow, "Are you kidding me? Well, you're very welcome, I'll redeem all the free food and alcohol next time!"

Julius smiled and shook his head at Yami's retreating figure.

-----

You sat on the rooftop where your husband and you usually hung out on some nights, this time you were alone, because your husband had to attend some Royal Party. You didn't want to attend because it would be tiring for a heavily pregnant lady like you to entertain the people there, so you sent him on his own while you stayed back at the base.

A blanket draped over your frame. You turned around and your herculean husband stood towering over you. "Are you trying to freeze yourself and my baby out here?"

"Baby, what are you doing back so soon?! Are you drunk already?!"

"Babe, I was only gone for barely 2 hours did you think I'd be drunk so soon? You're hurting my pride right now."

"Oh, that what happened? Did you get into a fight and got sent home?"

He gave you a little puppy pout, telling you his fragile heart has indeed been broken, "I came home because I missed you and our little baby boy"

He wrapped you in his huge arms, body radiating heat to yours and warming you up. He gently pressed a kiss to your temples as he watched the night sky with you, the royal castle in the far distant.

"Aren't you a clingy husband?" you giggled, "I told you- ouch! He kicked me!"

"Heh, see he disagrees with you!" he let out a low chuckle, before putting his huge palms on your belly, "Hey, if you bully mommy, you'll get it when you're out young man."

You gave him a little joking glare for giving a threat to your unborn son.

"Babe! You can't neglect me when he's out okay! I'll be real jealous.." he sighed as he put his head on your shoulder.

-end-

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themotherlobehq · 3 years

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Potential stories happening after Psychonaut 2′s ending. Beware for spoilers for the entire game:

- Razputin gets therapy, as does his entire family.

- Related to that, Donatella realizes how terribly her attitude towards Raz has been. Same for Dion and Frazie.

- Compton has a conversation with both Sam and Dogen about how to treat animals as equals and not hurt them just for your own gain or because you’re angry at them, once hears about his grandchildren’s actions.

- Compton promises to Cassie that he’s reached out to a therapist to continue healing and to old friends. He wants to be there for her in return. He wants to make sure that when he relies on her, that she can rely on him in return, and that he’s going to have other people for the times when leaning on Cassie will be too much for her.

- All of the Psychic Six go to therapy. Raz did help them, and to stabilize and further their healing, they will need continous help, this time from adult professionals.

- Hollis, to her surprise, enjoys her vacation a lot.

- After she becomes first leader of the Psychonauts, she assigns two experienced, vetted agents as her assistants and seconds-in-commands to help her manage the organization.

- Helmut has every reason to be angry at Otto for not properly checking his brain and discovering his identity early. He also gets angry at Ford once he learns that his friend had found his brain, then failed to make sure that somebody would care for Helmut before Ford shattered his own mind.

- Also, the agents who compile the data of Raz’s actions: “... Holy shit, that’s a lot this kid went through in the last week.” The Psychix Six feel horrified that he went through that, partly because he helped them with their own issues.

- “Seriously, Ford? That’s the way you showed Razputin what happened to his grandparents and Lucy? It’s like out of a horror movie!” Because Ford handled that reveal badly in the Tomb of the Sharkophagus.

- Raz develops an unconscious fear that his mother would wish he’d been lobotomized so that his psychic powers are gone because of her passive-aggressive attitude, her hatred of psychics, and because experiencing Loboto’s childhood resonated a lot with his own.

When Donatella realizes that - maybe even with some proof of hatecrimes against physics from their own parents -, it shocks her. She asks how could her son believe that? Augustus points out, “How could he not? Your behavior hasn’t given him a chance to believe otherwise. And I didn’t stop you.”

- Lili and Raz spend time together, now that she doesn’t have to worry about her father anymore. She properly introduces the two of them; gives Donatella and Dion the stinkeye and kicks his shins during the now less common times he’s mean to Raz; is furious at the interns for hazing Raz; she and Raz go climbing and goofing off in the Questionable Area, work on their own comic, etc.

- Lili finally meets her grand-uncle Bob and his husband. It might go awkward because he fears she will hate him, but he really would love to meet his grand-niece he’s heard so much about. Lili is curious about her father’s uncle, since he always spoke of Bob with fond sadness.

- After the Psychic Six return, she goes exploring the Motherlobe with fresh eyes. She has good tea and delicious cake with Compton, both which he made himself. She asks for Cassie’s signature on her own copy of Mindswarm and they talk about their favorite books and archetypes. Since she’s ten, she likes to ask for shoulder-rides on her or Helmut’s shoulders, because they’re the tallest. Gardening becomes a lot more fun with Bob, who teaches her new things. Otto is the only one who Lili doesn’t feel comfortable around because of his behavior about how he conducts his experiments.

- Worldbuilding Grulovia into a proper country with its own cultures and how that informs the Aquatos.

- Intergenerational trauma is, unfortunately, a thing.

- The Delugionaires are still a threat. Now imagine if they heard that Maligula has a relative who has shown that he has hydrokinesis as well... And the Psychonauts discover that they’re also looking for said ‘Child of Maligula’. Augustus’ paranoia would climb to new heights.

- When did Otto have his last mental health check-up?

- After days, weeks, maybe even months, Augustus asks Lucy about stories about his mother, father, and other relatives, the Galachios included.

- How is the Psychonauts’ standing in the international world? What are the opinions on them, especially after they got involved in war in a country not their own? How do the Psychonauts act as an organization to the outside? Are there branches and agents who feel entitled to get involved into crisis even though their intervention is unneeded or they don’t have enough information on the situation?

#psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #psychonauts 2 spoilers #psychonauts spoilers

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transsherlockpropaganda · 3 years

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A Guide to the Sherlock Holmes Canon

Compiled for BBC Sherlock fans who wish to branch out into the original stories by ACD.

A Study in Scarlet - Holmes and Watson move in together. Shade is thrown at the Mormons.

The Sign of Four - Mary Morstan comes along. Racism.

The Hound of the Baskervilles - The most beloved of the canon. Demon hound stalks Devon aristocrats.

The Valley of Fear - Freemasons have man killed.

A Scandal in Bohemia - Holmes is beaten by the woman.

The Red Headed League - Red headed shop owner is tricked by bank robbers.

A Case of Identity - Step father poses as young man to keep young lady's money.

The Boscombe Valley Mystery - Dying Australian kills another Australian, is let off.

The Five Orange Pips - The one about the KKK.

The Man with the Twisted Lip - Gentleman becomes beggar, is accused of own murder.

The Blue Carbuncle - Precious gem found in crop of Christmas goose.

The Speckled Band - Deadly snake trained using milk and whistle.

The Engineer's Thumb - Criminals try to crush man in hydraulic press.

The Noble Bachelor - Rich man loses wife on wedding day.

The Beryl Coronet - Banker loses part of very expensive coronet.

The Copper Beeches - Governess made to cut hair and wear electric blue dress by creepy employers.

Silver Blaze - Horse commits murder.

The Cardboard Box - Woman receives ears in the post.

The Yellow Face - Man is surprisingly not racist.

The Stock-Broker's Clerk - Man replaced by criminal at job he hasn't started yet.

The 'Gloria Scott' - Holmes's first case. Man has been lying to son for whole life.

The Musgrave Ritual - Butler solves puzzle that has remained mystery to generations of aristocrats.

The Reigate Squires - Holmes pretends to faint, scares Watson half to death.

The Crooked Man - Crippled man returns from India to surprise of man who betrayed him. Also there's a mongoose.

The Resident Patient - Ex-criminal sets up doctor in practice.

The Greek Interpreter - Watson meets Mycroft. Two Greek men get beaten up.

The Naval Treaty - Important state document stolen.

The Final Problem - Persued by Moriarty, Holmes and Watson flee to Europe. Holmes disappears, assumed dead.

The Empty House - 3 years later, Holmes returns. Watson faints.

The Norwood Builder - Man fakes own death to get revenge on ex.

The Dancing Men - Woman is terrorised by coded messages.

The Solitary Cyclist - Woman is followed by strange man on bicycle.

The Priory School - Child kidnapped by his own family.

Black Peter - Drunk man killed by harpoon.

Charles Augustus Milverton - Blackmailer killed by victim.

The Six Napoleons - Scotland Yarders are really proud of Holmes.

The Three Students - Student cheats on exam.

The Golden Pince-Nez - Woman kills man by mistake.

The Missing Three Quarter - Rugby player goes missing.

The Abbey Grange - Holmes lets killer go because of love.

The Second Stain - Woman told she doesn't understand politics.

Wisteria Lodge - Man dies trying to kill Spanish tyrant.

The Red Circle - Italian couple flee from gangster.

The Bruce Partington Plans - Submarine plans stolen.

The Dying Detective - Holmes pretends to be dying of a tropical disease.

The Devil's Foot - Holmes and Watson poison themselves and hallucinate.

His Last Bow - Holmes's final case.

The Illustrious Client - Holmes beaten up on the orders of an Austrian. Watson gets very angry.

The Blanched Soldier - Man's boyfriend does not have leprosy.

The Mazarin Stone - Diamond stolen, disguises worn.

The Three Gables - Woman steals story written by man she had beaten nearly to death.

The Sussex Vampire - Man thinks wife is vampire.

The Three Garridebs - 'It was worth a wound'.

The Problem of Thor Bridge - Governess framed for murder.

The Creeping Man - Monkey serum as viagra.

The Lion's Mane - Jellyfish kills man.

The Vieled Lodger - Woman savaged by lion, hides face for rest of life.

Shoscombe Old Place - Dog provides the answer.

The Retired Colourman - Man is terrible husband.

#bbc sherlock #johnlock #sherlolly #acd canon

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psychonauts-headcanonator-3000 · 3 years

Note

I can imagine Hollis and Donatella getting in a cat fight. And Milla tries to stop it but she also gets involved. Meanwhile Augustus, Sasha, Raz, Oleander, Lili, and Truman watch in awe.

Sasha tried to separate them but ended up getting kicked in the shins by Hollis. After the fight died down, Truman made sure that they all apologized for causing a scene.

The reason the fight started? Well it was because Donatella said something about Raz and Hollis went ape shit. Then Milla dropped in to stop it, and somehow ended up in the mix.

Luckily no other people from the Motherlobe saw the scene so it was pretty much okay after they all apologized.

As an added bonus, it was the first time Sasha saw Milla get so angry so fast, she even started cursing which took everyone by surprise.

#hollis forsythe #donatella aquato #milla vodello #razputin aquato #augustus aquato #sasha nein #truman zanotto #lili zanotto #morceau oleander

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lunar-insanity · 2 years

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Whispering Water: About Dion and D'Art

Dion:

Dion is Lucy's OTHER great uncle! In fact he's one of the reasons why Raz became part of the Enigmatic Eight. He was dating Gisu at the time and of course mentioned his hydrokinetic brother and voila!

Now what happened to him.

Dion wasn't at the protests, in fact he was late getting to the capital. He had this... eerie feeling that none of the Aquatos should be there that day. Frazie and D'art didn't listen on virtue that Raz was going to be there. It was going to be a chance to stand up against the Gzar and maybe even get Raz to see sense.

He decided to go last minute but just narrowly missed the disaster.

And that wrecked him for a while. He was right, something bad happened, and he knew, he just knew, Raz was the cause. When he heard that the military had called on the remaining 7, including Gisu, he had hopes that maybe they could get through to him cause that is still his brother!

And then he heard what happened next.

And the fallout killed him more.

He and Gisu had this... terrible falling out. He was grieving, she was grieving, and none of them knew how to handle it quite so well in the immediate aftermath.

Dion tried to go get Augustus from the orphanage but heard that apparently D'art had lived and had taken him in. And thing just got more twisted there.

Cause he was beyond relieved that D'art had survived and was caring for lil Gus but also..... Why did D'art survive and not Frazie! Or Raz! His family was washed away in the blink of an eye and he didn't know how to deal.

So... he ran.

He got as far away from the Aquatos as he could and tried to start fresh, forget all the horrors that went down.

It wasn't an easy 20 years, filled with plenty of lows, but by the time of Whispering Water, he is in a better place and able to look back with a clear head. Throughout those 20 years he has kept in some contact with the rest of his family through letters, but he can't quite bear to see the shows.

Now imagine his surprise when he gets wind of Malcallor 2: Electric Boogaloo, and the implications of that.

At first he was angry and like "What the actual hell" but he's too old for that kind of anger. So he just wants answers. And this is how he and Gisu reconnect, the two talking about the events and what happened between them. And resolving to take this opportunity to start their relationship over again.

As for what he's been doing that whole time, he's actually become a musician, playing the oboe and teaching gymnastics to kids in that time. He had found another love, which lasted 6 years but parted ways amicably and they still talk (Just a matter of growing apart).

D'Artagnan:

D'art was Frazie's husband here! Yes there were many a joke about how similar he looked to Razputin. Many of those jokes said by Raz himself, but he fit with the family quite well.

D'art was also killed in the Valermo dam disaster, and Lili (Having been begged by Raz to please let him forget what the hell he did oh god what he did do Lili please) got him to take D'art's place. Dion would've realized in a heart beat who this was so... good thing he wasn't around huh?

I... don't have a lot for him. whoops ;w;

#whispering water au #dion aquato #psychonauts 2 au #i know i know everyone likes to have Frazie as a lesbian but please bear with me am sorry ;w;

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upperstories · 3 years

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I can see all the different Raz denizens of his mind just melting and being so sweet to Mirtala--and Queepie, I guess, but mostly Mirtala. Maybe camp store!Raz would let her, and her alone, "buy" something innocuous? Like a little comic book where she is the star showing off some cool acrobatic tricks to her brother? Because of all his siblings, she seems to be the one he currently has the strongest bond with.

Honestly I think Raz usually gets along fairly well with his siblings overall! Or at least, as well as a middle child with a complex about his psychic powers can get along with his other siblings.

Raz might’ve fought with Dion in the past, but it’s implied from the dialogue that most of Dion’s aggression towards his little brother is centered around Dion just being angry at Raz for running away/scaring everyone as well as revealing the family secret. This implies two things: (1) Dion knew there were psychics in the family all along (he probably heard it from his parents or caught Frazie using psychic powers when she was younger, but was told to keep it a secret to protect his younger siblings from being put in danger), and (2) Dion has truly never been this angry at Raz before. I get the feeling the two brothers regularly tussle and wrestle like brothers tend to do, but Dion being verbally cruel to Raz is not something that usually happens, considering Raz’s hurt facial reactions and Dion’s surprise at his own words.

If anyone is closest to Raz aside from Nona, it’s Frazie. Full stop. They’re both psychics who used to play games together with their psychic powers! They both had to keep their powers secret from their families! That’s some major bonding there. Frazie’s harshness towards Raz is probably more born from envy of Raz outing himself and getting away with it, while Frazie still feels the need to hide her powers so as not to disappoint her parents, despite Augustus outing himself as psychic as well.

Mirtala definitely looks up to Raz, but I get the feeling that since she’s the youngest sister sibling and wears a tiara, she’s literally treated like the little princess of the family (damn gender norms), and therefore gets along fairly well with everybody. She doesn’t want to fight Raz, she’s just glad everyone’s back together again! She’s probably the kind of sibling who cries to get her the older siblings to stop fighting.

Queepie is… a bit of an enigma to me. You’d think that he would be close to Raz considering Raz is his older brother and also a psychic, but every time Raz finds him in the Find Queepie mini quest, he runs away, saying he Needs Me Time and that Raz Ruins Everything He Loves, just by wanting to make sure he doesn’t wander off as well as spend quality time with him. When you’re the youngest of five siblings in an already wacky family of circus psychics, you tend to have a lot to live up to and might struggle with finding your identity, I guess. I think the little guy just wishes he were an only child.

I think if the different aspects of Raz’s mind would favor anybody, it’d be Frazie, but I think they’d all like Raz’s siblings fairly evenly.

#ask #psychonauts 2 spoilers #psychonauts spoilers

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owl-house-lover · 4 years

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I've wanted to talk about the relationship between Willow & Boscha for awhile now.

Long post is long (accidentally posted it too early. My bad!)

Boscha the Bully

According to the Inner Willow, Boscha (along with the other popular girls) picked on Willow for years.

We don't find out why tho.

Compared to when Amity would insult her, Willow didn't seem to have much of a reaction to Boscha's bullying.

Which could mean Willow possibly didn't see Boscha as much of a problem until Wing It Like Witches.

Boscha's bullying only got worse when Willow (unknowingly) became more popular than her.

- Note: Boscha's fully aware of how great Willow (as well as Luz & Gus) can be. She must really want Willow to not be aware of her greatest just satisfy her own ego.

How long has this been going on? On to the next part.

Are Willow's Dads aware of this?/Willow's history with Boscha

Willow's fathers love her very much & could be quite protective of her (I headcanon that they put her in the abomination track cause she got mad & hurt herself with plant magic by accident).

How do you think they'd react to their daughter coming home crying about the mean girls that hurt her? They wouldn't be happy about it.

Don't think her dads would like Boscha very much...

On the subject of them as kids, I think the nickname "Half-a-Witch" came from Boscha (noticed how no one calls her that anymore tho?).

Now we're getting into these two as people.

Willow's only getting better

At her first appearance, Willow had no confidence, but look at her now!

She's also a lot happier with her friends and is actually well liked at school (even by Boscha's friends).

She's now even aware that she's stronger and smarter than Boscha too!

She's taking a stand for herself and others in need. Which is what I really like to see & I wanna see more of it in later seasons.

Boscha could have problems of her own

It's clear to anyone that watches this show that Boscha's not a good person.

She's egotistical, sadistic, a brat to her mother, rebellious to the point it's harmful to others, & really petty for pretty much no reason.

We know she was a mean kid (thanks to Understanding Willow), but why is this?

How she thinks she's better than others & how she thinks she needs to be feared to get her way (as will as be good at sports), I think she has both a superiority and a inferiority complex.

Now to the other people in Willow's life that clearly wanna protect her from Boscha.

The Willow Protection Squad

- Amity: Willow's childhood friend who stopped being her friend to protect from her parents. Never really liked Boscha to begin with. So she has no problems standing up for Willow against her.

- Augustus (Gus): Willow's genuine friend that cares for her so much, he's willing to stand up to kids older than him to help her out (including Boscha).

- Luz: Willow's new friend that would absolutely become a human shield for her if Willow asked (which she obviously won't do of course).

Why did I bring them into this? Because all of them wouldn't hesitate to wipe the floor with Boscha, but Willow won't let that happen because...

Willow's so nice (even to Boscha)

Willow could've ended Boscha's popularity at Hexside anytime after she became more confident in herself (& her magic skills), but she didn't.

Even at the end of WilW (after Boscha ruined her whole day), Willow showed her mercy when Boscha never thought of doing the same to her.

Maybe this'll cause a change in Boscha (a "Maybe I don't have to be worse to be better..." type of deal)?

Or Boscha could double down on her awful ways & want to get revenge on Willow?

Either way, I want these two to interact more in Season 2.

And now, something I've wanted to talk about regarding these two for awhile.

Willow and Boscha from a shipping POV

The ship between Willow & Boscha is quite popular in this Fandom & I get it!

- The want for Boscha to get a Redemption Arc (she doesn't seem as bad as Belos, it may be possible?).

- The want for Willow to be a big part in said Redemption Arc (although this would be a good idea, I don't want Boscha to dump all her problems onto Willow nor do I want Boscha to be Willow's responsibility).

My favorite fanon dynamic with these two is Boscha thinking Willow would say yes to dating her (cause of her ego), only to get rejected (Willow looks so done with Boscha's BS in the fanart, it's hilarious).

- Also Willow would kindly reject Boscha (baby girl's just too nice).

- But if Boscha is too pushy, Willow will have to hurt her a little (The Willow Way is a strong way).

- Also Willow's (clearly protective) dads should be in more Boschlow fan pieces. Just shocked & angry that Boscha's at their door, demanding to speak with Willow (I don't think it'll go well for her...).

I wouldn't be surprised if these two did become a thing in canon.

In conclusion

Do I ship Boschlow? Mixed feelings about it to be honest.

Do I get why people ship it? Yeah.

Do I think Boscha's good enough for Willow? Now, of course not!

Do I think she can be? Maybe... It all depends on what the writers want (the show has great writing as it is).

Tell me what you guys think!

#The Owl House #TOH #Willow Park #Boscha #Willow x Boscha #Boschlow #Luz Noceda #Augustus Porter #Gus Porter #Mr and Mr Park #Amity Blight #Long post is REALLY long!

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alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer · 3 years

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the ghost of unbroken love pt 1

Summary: Thomas pays the Carstairs home a visit once the dust has settled (COI spoilers!)

Read it on AO3 | Fanfiction Masterlist

CW: PTSD, implied child abuse, bullying

thanks to @littlx-songbxrd for the title :) (it’s a line from “silhouettes” by sleeping at last)

Alastair’s eyes widened in surprise when he opened the front door to see Thomas Lightwood standing before him. “What are you doing here?”

“Hello to you, too,” he replied, his eyes narrowing as he looked at Alastair’s hands. “Why do you have a hedgehog?”

He turned away slightly, gently stroking the hedgehog in his palm. “Excuse you, don’t be rude to Alfred.”

Thomas gave a slight smile. “My apologies, Alfred. Wait- Isn’t that Christopher’s hedgehog?”

Alastair’s eyes flared, clearly offended. “He is not! He was merely watching him for a few days.”

“Ah, I do think he mentioned that. My mistake.”

“You still haven’t answered my question.”

“Since when do you have a pet hedgehog, though?”

He tried to focus on the feeling of Alfred squirming in his palms and not on the tall, handsome masterpiece of a man standing before him, or on the memory of what his lips and skin tasted like. “If you’re here to try to change my mind-”

“I’m not, don’t worry. I just… I thought that perhaps we could talk, now that some of the excitement has passed.”

Alastair sighed. “Fine, come in, then, before you freeze.”

Thomas followed him in, shaking some of the melting ice and snow from his hair and hanging up his coat. His nose and ears were red from the cold.

“It truly would not kill you to wear a hat, you know,” Alastair commented.

Thomas raised an eyebrow. “Well, I’ve a reputation to uphold, don’t I? What would my friends and I be known for if not our aversion to hats?”

“Besides being a nuisance, you mean?”

Thomas smirked. “Kit did look after Alfred for you.”

“Believe me, any time I mention you and your Merry boys, I never mean Christopher.”

He chuckled. “That’s fair.” Thomas’ eyes drifted to the piano. Alastair cursed silently to himself, realizing that he’d left the fallboard open earlier. “You play?”

“I…” Alastair hesitated. He certainly used to. He wanted to, again. He could play music from a sheet without much effort, though he was still rusty, but playing written music was never what Alastair had enjoyed about playing. He’d always found his joy in creating, in taking written words and crafting it into a beautiful melody. That had been what he was attempting earlier, before he’d gotten overwhelmed and abandoned the project to fetch Alfred to calm him down, before Thomas had arrived at his doorstep. But it was a lost cause, for the part of Alastair that created, the part that dreamed, had died long ago. “Sometimes. Sometimes I do.”

Thomas pulled something out of his coat. “I, uh, I brought you something. I thought… Well, I’m not sure what I thought. I’m certainly not an expert in dealing with grief. But this is one of the books I read after Barbara died, and I thought it was a helpful distraction, and I figured at the very least you could amuse yourself with my trying to make sense of it all in the margins.”

Alastair gave him a small smile while placing Alfred down on the sofa and accepted the book. It was a volume of Sufi poetry, written in Farsi and Arabic. “Thank you, this… it means a lot.”

The conversation stumbled awkwardly for the next few minutes until finally Thomas made a pensive noise. “May I… May I ask you something?”

Alastair paused. “You may.”

“Why are you still friends with them?”

Alastair cast a dark gaze away from him. “I already told you, I-”

“You have no friends, I know. But you certainly pretend to be friendly with them, at the very least. You certainly don’t treat them anything like the way we’ve treated you.”

You don’t treat them anything like the way you’ve treated me, he wanted to say, but he knew that he would be deflecting to bring it up now. The truth was that Alastair asked himself the same questions. Why was he civil with them, friendly even? Why did he placate his father knowing how he would still treat him? He was sure he could see the wheels turning in Thomas’ brain, though his face betrayed none of it, wondering how badly they could have truly treated him if he was able to stay so amicable with them. Alastair, too, often worried if his own memories were lying to him, tricking him. “I can hardly blame them, can I? When I myself have done horrible things?”

Thomas hesitated. “That- That’s not really fair, is it?”

“I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Well, it sounded like, at the time, you hadn’t done anything yet. At least, not to them.”

“What’s it matter? What goes around comes around.”

“More like what comes around goes around. Life isn’t just some twisted justice system, paying for crimes you hadn’t yet committed. What reasons did they have for treating you the way they did? Have they apologized?” Alastair’s brain stalled as Thomas added, “Do you think they owe you one?”

Alastair could feel his heart beating, blood rushing to his head, his chest constricting. “Why are you doing this?” he demanded a little too forcefully. “I told you to leave me alone!”

Thomas took a daring step towards him. “I think you think you deserved it. You think that you’re a monster, that you’re dangerous, a terrible person. You think that means they were justified in hurting you. That’s bullshit, Alastair. No one deserves to go through what you did, even someone who is terrible, and you are not. You’ve done bad things, certainly, but you’ve had reasons for doing each of them, and not one was that you are a terrible person. You are none of the things that you call yourself. You are strong and resilient and compassionate, and you love with your whole heart even those who do not deserve it.”

Alastair took a step back. “You’re wrong.” He wasn’t. Alastair hated feeling so seen, so vulnerable. He wanted to scream. Why wasn’t it enough, then? His love was never enough to make his father want to change, to get better. It was not even enough to get him to stop throwing things at him whenever the night quit going his way. His love was not enough to make Charles love him back. Even the boys at the Academy, Augustus and the rest, he’d spent so much time and energy trying desperately for them to genuinely like him, but it was never enough. He was fairly certain that it never would be. Thomas was wrong, Alastair was none of the things Thomas believed him to be, he was weak and pathetic and whatever love he held inside of him was broken at its core. “You ask me why I treat the boys from school better than you treated me, but why do you? You and your friends have never given them a fraction of the grief you’ve given me, even Augustus after he hurt your sister so terribly. Why?”

Alastair could see the defenses light behind Thomas’ eyes. “Don’t talk about Eugenia as if you know what happened!”

Alastair looked him in the eyes without a hint of expression on his face. “I do, and I know because she told me.”

Thomas stumbled on his words, unsure of how to respond.

“I told you why I was cruel to you lot at school, but I did not tell you why I spread that rumor. The truth is that I was hurting and I was scared and all I wanted was for you to leave me alone, but you wouldn’t. And then Matthew came, running his mouth with his endless nonsense, poking fun at the way I looked and reminding me yet again that there is not a single person on this Earth who sees me as anything more than an afterthought. And so I repeated that rumor to him. And I repeated it again, and again, because I was angry, because when Matthew blew up my belongings, my father decided that the cost to replace them was more than simply the coinage at the shops.” Alastair inhaled, pushing away the memory of the fury in his father’s eyes when he came home that semester.

Releasing a shaky breath, Alastair continued, “And I know. I know that wasn’t fair to him, or to you, or to your parents. But I have been trying to apologize for five months, only you decided without even hearing my apology that I did not deserve forgiveness. What now, Thomas? Now that you know my secrets, you’ve seen my scars? Do I deserve forgiveness? Do I deserve to be hated? Because truly I cannot keep track.” He gestured to the door, his voice now angry. “Who are you to decide what is deserved and undeserved? You do not get to come here and pretend like you understand me or my life. You and your friends think that you’re better than everyone else, but I have a secret for you: you are not morally superior simply because you are less broken than the rest of us. Get out of my house.”

“Alastair-” Thomas tried, but he was cut off.

“Leave, Thomas. And put me out of your mind. I left Charles because I did not wish to be his secret, and I will not be yours, either.”

Thomas looked like he was about to speak, but stopped himself. He looked hurt and confused, something like a wounded puppy. Alastair would not flinch. Finally, he obliged, though he turned at the last moment. “I’m sorry,” he said in a small voice, though not ingenuine. Alastair shut and bolted the door without responding.

Once the door was secure, Alastair sank to his knees, a million thoughts and feelings flooding his brain, from relief to anger to utter despair. Shaky breath after shaky breath, he attempted to piece the world back together again.

taglist (lmk if you want to be added and, if so, whether for every TLH fic I write or just for this series or something else): @littlx-songbxrd @dianasarrow @doitforthecarstairs

#alastair carstairs #thomas lightwood #thomastair #chain of iron #coi spoilers #chain of iron spoilers #coi #the last hours #tlh #fanfiction #fanfic #cw ptsd #cw child abuse #cw bullying

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sxrrandomfanfics · 2 years

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He Can Run Just Like Me (Circus!Lili AU)

Warning: This will have some spoilers about the Circus!Lili AU/"Circus Life Seems For Me" that are actually very important and will be a part of the story later.

It will be free to be asked about through my Asks, but please be courteous to the AO3 readers who do not look at my tumblr.

Cross posted from the "psyche of nut" discord

Lili watched Raz stomp off again, away from his father. Both were wearing an equally angry look. Even if Raz's mind was a steel trap, Lili's work with him helped her understand him better. "You're being too hard on him." She looked at Augustus, who jumped in surprise.

"Lili, I thought you and Dona were working on dinner?"

"Well, the yelling was..."

"Ah. I am... sorry you had to hear that."

"You should be apologizing to Raz."

Augustus took a moment to try to find the right words and he sat down next to her. "What makes you think that?"

Lili could make several mental connections in her mind that would show him. If only the old man actually realized he was psychic. "Because being pushed too far down made me dig a hole under the fence of my camp. Too much pressure in one place makes any creature want to escape."

Augustus's dark eyes seemed to hide his bags, but him looking off into the distance, Lili could see them. "I suppose you are right. But I just want to protect him."

"Does he know that?"

Augustus opened his mouth, closed it, and then processed this information. "I think..."

"You think. But does he?"

#augustus aquato #razputin aquato #lili zanotto #lili aquato au #psychonauts au #psychonauts fanfiction

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naerysthelonesome · 3 years

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The Sanctuary Scene

From Alastair’s POV

(I tried, okay?)

Start of fic:

Upon being securely locked into the Sanctuary, Alastair had swiftly moved to one of the bedrolls provided, and pulled out a book (Machiavelli’s The Prince- one he’d read many times before), trying as best he could to take his mind off of Thomas’ inescapable presence. He’d settled himself among the provided blankets and pillows, moving only to take off his jacket and flip pages.

Thomas apparently determined to make himself near impossible to ignore, walked about, observing anything and everything, and generally making himself a distracting nuisance. He’d even knocked over a candelabra at some point. It had taken every ounce of Alastair’s self-control not to look.

He continued to stare at his book with unseeing eyes, trying as hard as he could to concentrate on the story. There was, however, none of the curiosity that might have motivated him. He could just have picked up one of the books provided by Eugenia, who admittedly had quite good taste, but that would have required him to move from his inconspicuous perch. And drawing Thomas’ attention to himself just would not do.

He knew he’d made the right decision to follow Thomas all those evenings, and he would do it again in a heartbeat. But now they were locked together for Angels knew how long, their only key to getting out, far away in Paris. Paris. That city brought back memories he would rather not think of right then. Memories of ink against warm skin, sparkling eyes, and a boy that was nothing less than a painting in motion.

He shook his head and focused his eyes on the pages in front of him. He had successfully kept to himself for hours now; what were a few more? But the silence was starting to get oppressing, as were the eyes that seemed to periodically settle on him. He could not imagine what Thomas thought of their situation.

As if in response to that thought, the boy in question darter to the door and shook it. A valiant but damned effort.

“A little menacing that the Sanctuary bolts shut from the outside, isn’t it? I never thought about it much before”, He said, making Thomas jump slightly. He allowed himself to look as the boy turned toward him.

Thomas looked surprised at Alastair having spoken to him at all, but attempted conversation, nonetheless.

“I, er, suppose one might have to keep an unexpectedly dangerous Downworlder out or something”, he said, making sound but obvious sense, as was his way.

“Maybe”, Alastair replied with what he hoped was an amicable shrug, “On the other hand, it does give the institute a makeshift prison”. Idle conversation, but surely something to think about. He looked back down at his book and kept them firmly there as Thomas came closer.

He felt the other boy stare at him, unmoving. He could be thinking of any number of things. Maybe he was thinking of a response to what Alastair had said, or maybe about how ardently he hated him.

Thomas’ tone, when he finally spoke was demanding, almost angry. It shifted completely the comfortable energy that had started to establish between them.

“Why have you been following me around?”

Alastair’s breath hitched in his throat. Here was the question he’d been dreading all this time.

“Someone had to”, he said, for lack of a better answer. How was he supposed to tell Thomas that he had done it because he had wanted him to be safe? That he hadn’t wanted any harm to come to the person he should be feeling only apathy- or maybe shame- towards? How was he supposed to explain himself?

“What on Earth does that mean?”

Alastair nearly flinched, but kept his face impassive and eyes trained on his book. It was as easy to act unbothered, as it had been to act cruel. Alastair was no stranger to wearing masks.

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to, Lightwood”, he said with all the condescension he could muster.

Then Thomas did the first truly surprising thing he’d done all night. He sat down beside him, and the movement startled Alastair enough that he couldn’t stop himself looking up at the boy.

“I do want the answer”, Thomas said decidedly, “and I will not get up until you tell it to me”.

Well, damn him. Alastair could hardly blame him for wanting to know. He was owed an explanation, but that didn’t make the decision to give it to him any easier. He slowly closed and placed his book aside, steeling himself for the surely nerve-wracking talk that was headed his way.

He looked at Thomas, who was once again staring. Alastair had to admire the determinacy with which he was approaching a conversation with him.

“I knew you were taking extra patrols”, Alastair said truthfully, “And more than that- going out by yourself with a murderer on the loose. You were going to get yourself killed. You’re meant to take someone with you”. He only narrowly avoided sounding cross or accusatory.

“No thank you. All these people going out in pairs, announcing themselves every time they speak, unable to make a move without consulting each other- they might as well ring a bell to let the killer know they’re coming”, Thomas said scornfully, “And meanwhile, if you’re not on the schedule, you’re supposed to just sit around on your arse doing nothing. We’ll never catch the murderer if we avoid being out on the streets. That’s where the murderer is.”

The indignant expression Thomas was wearing, and the little speech he’d just made, amused him. He and his friends were all so alike. Alastair knew Thomas well enough to know that while those words may not have been entirely honest, the sentiment behind them was sincere. He had just so badly wanted the killer gone.

“Never before have I heard such a concise statement of the ludicrous philosophy with which you and your school friends go through the world, running toward danger.” His arms were starting to hurt, so he stretched them out over his head, and went on, “But that’s not why you were doing what you were doing. There’s a little truth to what you just said, but not the heart of it”.

“What do you mean?”

“You couldn’t save your sister, so you want to save other people.” he said, hoping he wasn’t going too far, “You want revenge, even if this isn’t the same evil that took Barbara- it’s still evil, isn’t it?” The look in Thomas’ eyes confirmed that his assessment was true, so he continued, “You want to behave recklessly, and you don’t want your reckless behavior to compromise a patrol partner’s safety. So you went alone.”

Alastair had understood his motivations easily enough. Thomas was complicated, but he had never been hard for Alastair to read. At the heart of him, he was simply good, and kind, and fiercely loyal. It was a miracle his friends hadn’t seen through him.

“Well, I don’t believe that you really think we’re stupid,” Thomas said, “Or that we willingly court danger for danger’s sake. If you believed that, you would do more to stop Cordelia spending time with us.”

Outwardly, Alastair scoffed. But it seemed Thomas was not the only person easily read.

“My point,” Thomas went on firmly, “is that I don’t think you believe the rude things you say. And I don’t understand why you say them. It doesn’t make any sense. It’s as if you want to drive everyone away.”

The audacity of Thomas to believe that Alastair was any sort of good; the nerve he had to believe he was rude for anything but selfish, cruel reasons- Alastair had never wanted to embrace another person so badly for being wrong.

“Why were you so awful to us in school? We never did anything to you”. The words were not spoken with any venom, and yet, they stung. Alastair winced.

For the first time, he really considered letting someone in. He needed someone to know the truth of his actions. Cordelia was the only one who even remotely understood why he had done the things he had done, and although he still felt his behavior inexcusable, telling her had been a small comfort.

But the words would not come easy.

“I was awful to you… because I could be.”

“Anyone can be a bastard if they want to be,” replied Thomas, verbally batting away his answer, “You had no reason to do it. Your family are friends with the Herondales. You could have at least been kinder to James.”

He could have been. But he had had a reason.

“When I got to school,” Alastair said, forcing himself to breathe; he had never spoken about this before. It had never been easy, and it wasn’t now- “loose talk about my father preceded me. Everyone knew he was a failure, and some of the older students decided I was an easy target. They… let’s just say that by the end of the first week, I had been made to understand my place in the hierarchy, and I had the bruises to remind me should I ever forget.”

Thomas seemed to be having a hard time wrapping his head around what he had just said. And understandably so. Alastair wondered if he’d always appear the bully in Thomas and his friends’ eyes.

Thomas didn’t inclined to talk just then, so Alastair went on before he lost the nerve, “After about a year of being knocked around, I realized I could either become one of the bullies, or suffer the rest of my school days. I felt no loyalty to my father, no need to defend him, so that was never a problem. I wasn’t very big- well, you know what that’s like.”

He looked at Thomas then, noting the broad, strong width of him, and the way his shirt sleeves hugged his arms. He didn’t miss the way he seemed to shrink back into himself at the gaze. Alastair looked away.

“What I did have,” he said, “was a savage tongue and a quick wit. Augustus Pounceby and the others would collapse laughing when I cut some poor younger student down to size. I never got my hands bloody, never hit anyone, but it didn’t matter, did it? Soon enough the bullyboys forgot they’d ever hated me. I was one of them.”

None of what he had said earlier had been an excuse. In a game of hurt or be hurt, he had chosen to hurt. It had been self-preservation, but it had still been selfish.

“And how did that turn out for you?” Thomas said, with distaste.

Alastair had no misconceptions regarding the consequences of his decisions, so he met Thomas’ glare and replied, “Well, one of us has a close knit group of friends, and the other has no friends at all. So you tell me.”

“You have friends”, Thomas said, but a hint of doubt crossed his face even as he spoke the words. It was unsurprising to Alastair that Thomas had not paid him enough mind to have ever realized otherwise. Why would he have?

“Then you lot arrived, a bunch of boys from famous families, too well brought up to understand at first what went on far from home. Expecting the world would embrace you. That you would be treated well. As I had never been”. He was unable to restrain the jealous tinge in his voice. “I suppose I hated you because you were happy. Because you had each other- friends you could like and admire- and I had nothing like that. You had parents who loved each other. But none of that excuses that way I behaved. And I do not expect to be forgiven.”

Alastair felt close to tears as he came to the end of his story- physically exhausted- and his hands were shaking. But he did not regret it. He hoped Thomas would not cause him to regret it either.

“I’ve been trying to hate you-” Thomas said in a quiet voice. The response did not faze Alastair. It was what he deserved. “-for what you did to Matthew. You richly deserve to be hated for what you have done.”

It was true that Alastair had hurt Matthew in terrible ways, but he had hurt Thomas as well. He was tired of Thomas’ refusal to acknowledge it. What he had said about his family more that warranted Thomas’ own hatred of him.

“It wasn’t just his mother I slandered. It was your parents, too. You know it. So you don’t have to- to act all high-minded about this. Stop pretending you are only upset on behalf of Matthew. Hate me on your own behalf, Thomas.”

“No”, Thomas said, then paused.

The word brought only a fleeting comfort with it, and Alastair waited for the other shoe to drop, for the blows he deserved to rain down upon him, this time deserved. But they did not come.

“The reason I cannot hate you is because- because of those days we spent in Paris together,” Thomas said, and the words damn near stopped Alastair’s heart in his chest, “You were kind to me when I was very alone, and I am grateful. It was the first time I realized you could be kind.”

The tears that had threatened to come up earlier, nearly made their presence known again. H stared at Thomas with lucid eyes as he tried to process those words. Memories came back to him unbidden, and he heard himself say, “It is my favorite memory of Paris as well.”

“You don’t have to say that. I know you were there with Charles”. That was all it took to wrench him out of his mind and back to the present. He felt his defenses go up again at the mere mention of his former lover.

“Charles Fairchild? What about him?”

“Wouldn’t that be your best memory of Paris?” Thomas replied, undeterred.

Consciously, he knew there was no danger here. Thomas would never use this information against him, and besides… he had his own secrets. This did not keep him from responding defensively, as he was wont to do, when it came to Charles. “Exactly what are you suggesting?”

“I’m not suggesting anything. I’ve seen the way you look at Charles, the way he looks at you. I’m not an idiot, Alastair, and I’m asking…”

Time seemed to stop as Thomas shook his head and sighed, coming to some kind of abrupt decision. A decision that began with words that as good as ripped apart Alastair’s defenses yet again.

“I suppose I’m asking if you’re like me.”

End of fic.

This turned out so much longer than expected- If you read it all the way through, you likely have a slight obsession.

#thomastair #the sanctuary scene #chain of iron #chain of iron spolers #alastair's pov #alastair carstairs #thomas lightwood #this was NOT as easy to write as i thought it'd be #I think i've maintained canon-compliance but idk #it's 5am here guys. please be nice #idk if i should do the second part?#i don't know if my writing is worth the effort D:#i have never written anything this long im-

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