#and support when you can't do it alone

[gonnabeokaykid]

but if "911, what's your fantasy?" is buck spending the episode picturing how him and eddie would be as a couple (after potentially a almost kiss, after the reveal of the PoSiBiLLitiES) and the future they might have, pondering what may change if they take that step, or what if it doesn't change at all, then what does that mean yk???? does he believe in himself enough to believe he deserves it? that he is not gonna wreck it? be too much, too loud, too selfish? can he live with himself if he is the one to drive eddie away?

intwining his life with the diaz boys together with his fantasy and dream of a family, of stability, of that Special Connection - of what he's always wanted - with the realization that maybe, MAYBE, that dream is what they have had All Along.

This thing that they've Made. That they have Built.

WHAT THEN

#ah i think i get it now #911 getting my therapy bill is WHAT THEN honestly #just ugh buck having this reckoning with himself and the ideas he has in his head of what happiness is and what he is allowed to give #To Himself #how you can be independent yet also lean on someone and be both happy and sad at the same time #how maybe he can have a small moment of his own #within the love and support and understanding and Space that eddie is gonna give him #like girlypops i am conCAVING #like when a person that loves you see you in your emotions #and give you space to figure it out #and support when you can't do it alone #yall #my blorbomans is going through it and i'm having a Time #911 fox #6a speculation #linn says things

[somecunttookmyurl]

all the while society conflates "being an adult" with "having a proper job" and "having money to make arbitrary Adult Purchases" disabled people who can't work - or can only work part time or can only do entry level baby jobs - will never be 'allowed' to be adults

you can say "being an adult is looking after yourself you don't have to have a job!!!" all you want but most people who say that will still assume anybody who doesn't either can't or won't 'look after themselves' actually. and every 'marker' of 'adulthood' that's observable and thus actually counts or whatever loops back around to... having a job and 'contributing' something

#yeah i have netflix on all day #i am quite literally signed off of work for the -rest of my life- #what the fuck else would you like me to do with my time when most people are in fact at work #or did you think i can't have the tv on and put laundry away at the same time or something #must i work on commissions on silence in a dour room to be perceived as an adult #anyway 'looking after yourself/your home/your pet' is not observable #to anybody who doesn't like ACTUALLY live in your house #unless you are extremely obviously NOT doing it #if a tree falls in a forest etc #owning a house? job. like not even 'in this economy? lol' #disabled people LITERALLY can't because we aren't allowed to have enough savings for a deposit #car? would you honestly trust me with a vehicle lol but also: job #you mostly cannot buy a car without one it's a requirement for the lease #otherwise you aren't 'trusted' to pay it on time #incidentally most landlords will also - perfectly legally - refuse to rent to you because you are going to be unreliable with the rent #which is being paid directly by the gov anyway like take your trust issues up with them bro #a family? if i get married or cohabit with a partner my income gets sliced in half #so to support even myself let alone a child would require. drumroll please. employment #savings? adults have savings right? yeah but unlike you i have a gov enforced cap on mine #'good furniture not shit from ikea' (someone has remarked that ikea furniture is 'college dorm-y' it's going here) #i mean do i have to say it

[unproduciblesmackdown]

fr is he, you know.............................................repeatedly described as being Impersonable and Lacking Charm and Pedantic and confused / bothered by things he supposedly shouldn't be while inspiring confusion / botherment in others in ways he supposedly shouldn't and like 99.9% of the grief he's given is over All That while he's just sitting or standing there rather than the like intimidatingly efficient hitman georg thing he has going on. which is in fact The Skill That Makes Him Useful Despite It All and also perhaps the least foothold in interactions because [worried he can & may kill you] affords power when otherwise just being the weird guy nobody likes(tm)

bonus mordecai balling

#lackadaisy #not exactly Necessarily intentional but like oh you don't say #something something liking patterns & order; though that overlaps w/the like fastidiousness that's just tied to backstory #but that even when picking up that particular trait he was apparently always Peculiar in the deemed Not Personable Way #like oh you don't say #can't really even truly hone in on 9000 murders/day when like. everyone's blowing people away out here. ya gotta #or certainly other people are doing it too lol. mordecai's Mostly differentiated from anyone else's hitmanning by demeanor/affect #and that demeanor/affect has everyone going sicko mode antagonizing him while he's decidedly just sitting there #like oh you don't say....epic mood re: the [how would mordecai approach being tasked with infant childcare] joke #held a baby once maybe twice and both times an exercise in simply like ah christ don't drop this thing countdown to passing it along #great minicomic lmao found in the uhh. gallery under....mini comics; penultimate one w/the baby cat jimmy carter as pictured as thumbnail #supporting his mystery contributions too....gotta be for real abt mitzi not shooting anyone but sure he may have noscoped atlas #though maybe also he did not; but we know they have some secret concerning atlas; even probably involving his death.... #vaguely wondering if atlas got whatever warning about [mystery thorn in marigold's side] as asa sweet mentions over that brunch #and perhaps would have chosen to back out of the business but mitzi was not about that & would arrange a Murder to inherit lackadaisy.... #but mordecai would have to have some reason to go along with that. Maybe as an out for working for atlas forever; but now he's at marigold #not exactly that different yet [themes re: The Other Paths Are Closed To You Forever for everyone out here] #while it might also be true that he left for marigold to try to figure out what's going on over there from the inside; as suggested.... #and whatever he's got going on he's Very Motivated about it as per the most recent comic pages. bold moves #anyways another accidentally autistic cat out here. for april. always a classic lol fr everyone leave him alone or else shoot at him yknow #i do support the mordecai & the savoys dream team there. reiterating i think nicodeme espesh could/should be the like surprise bestie & etc

[boogiewoogieweeb]

it's all fun and games typing up a silly, rickety little au idea in the tags of someone else's post and then suddenly you find yourself expanding on the world-building and plotting out interconnected stories for characters you swore would only make background appearances and your brain is On Fire with the need to write even when you know you can't commit to yet another doomed wip

#the terror #this is 100% about the fucking hartving tech!averse jirv/librarian!hartnell au from yesterday bc IT WON'T LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE #thinking about a ficlet detailing how bridlgar met #peggles is a delivery driver who does the rounds dropping off the library's stationary orders and john's the one in charge of receiving #and they strike up a friendship over terrible stationary puns and eventually start dating when john introduces harry to classic lit #thinking even more about a joplittle sequel where after ned shows up soaking wet the first time and is immediately smitten #by thomas “Just Being A Decent Person” jopson; he starts volunteering at the library just so he can get closer to jops #(like the loser he is; bc why ask someone out directly when you can just hang around in their orbit and hope they notice you noticing them) #but the more time he spends at the library the more he comes to love it; and ends up volunteering to read to children on his free weekends #(my tumblr homies know exactly where i'm headed with this bc i am so transparent my mom might as well have called me “window”) #and jops; despite his better instincts; gets so turned on after hearing ned do voice impressions for fictional crayons while reading to #a bunch of enraptured rugrats that he decides then and there he absolutely can't NOT fuck ned senseless the second he gets his hands on him #meanwhile for the main fic; jirv and tartnell are both absolutely disgustingly in love but are also completely clueless #as to how to go about expressing interest in each other bc while i imagine jirv not being as repressed in this as he normally is in fanon; #he still hasn't actually figured out he's Big Time Gay™ yet and #tartnell on the other hand is both extremely attracted to and intimidated by the handsome; aloof yet kind; bible-quoting scotsman #who's decided to adopt him as his personal apple support technician #despite the fact that tartnell knows little more about iphones than jirv (seeing as he's been using android since smartphones took off) #god i'm in so deep about this stupid little au i've dreamed up that i just want to yell about it for hours on end #and despite knowing i'll likely NEVER get around to writing it; it is just... taking up Brain Space... that i already Do Not Have

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

analyzing hermes, emet-selch, the ancients and ascians, how they're written, and the fandom's reaction to them be like hm. emet-selch's role in this fuckery is compounded by the fact that his backstory as a genocide survivor is incongruous with his ruling a huge genocidal colonialist world power in the present da [ANTISEMITISM BLAST]

#ffxiv #ffxiv hermes #emet-selch #i have Posts in Me to write up about the subject but like you can maybe immediately start connecting some dots here lmao #hermes and the ancients lie at the intersection of A Lot of Shit That is Very Important to Me #the vast majority of it having to do with gaslighting in various different forms #one of those posts is going into how his story reminds me eerily of what Questioning Things in an abusive evangelical environment is like #and how the fandom instantly jumping straight to OH SO YOU THINK THE ANCIENTS SHOULD HAVE BEEN GENOCIDED IS THAT IT #YOU THINK THEY SHOULD BE INFANTILIZED AND CIVILIZED BY THE SUPERIOR MORALS OF YOUR OWN CULTURE IS THAT IT #and start throwing around words like 'sympathizer'; if you say 'hermes was right about some shit actually' #'what we see of the ancients' society is full of inexcusably horrific shit which does not get a pass for ~different values~' #smacks strongly to me of evangelical crybullying in the name of Cultural Sensitivity #and how people use 'well it's not my business what other cultures think is right or wrong' as an excuse to throw up their hands and #disengage from actually learning about or supporting the people in those cultures who know and are working within it to fight bigotry #amazingly enough 'racism and misogyny and queerphobia are bad' is not an idea exclusive to western cultures lmfao #your job if you engage is to seek out those people--across the spectrum of opinions and relationships to their culture's issues! #they're not a monolith!--and spread that information; and listen to what they ask of you when they tell you what kind of help they need #but that's complicated; and takes time and care and thought and effort and connecting to marginalized people #talking over activists and victims of the societal issues they live with; and telling them they're the same as colonizers; is easy-peasy #like i cannot stress enough here that hermes Is an Ancient. He Lives Here. He Knows His Society and Thinks About It a Lot #He Wants to Salvage It and is Specifically Fucked Up About Feeling Like He Can't Trust People Around Him for Input #WoL doesn't barge in and start telling the ancients what's what; they find the person who Cares and back him up that he's not crazy or alon #anyway there's a lot here but it is uh. a Lot. the ways in which the game blends up christianity and judaism here. #including the fact that between the two; the default cultural values and dynamics align more with christian associations of Conformity #(the game is by japanese creators and i feel like that's A Factor too; but there are Eerily Accurate evangelical things going on here) #and people cape for the ones who are Most Evangelical about it + the one whose Compelling Aspects are all antisemitic as fuck tropes #whereas the brown guy who grapples with his faith and worldview; who questions and challenges and argues with others in his ethnoreligion #and tries to look for perspective and deeper meaning + Improve Society Somewhat; gets torn apart in the worst faith possible by the fandom #ffxivtag #warning: worm grass

[dragonsarecats]

I actually would consider Lysithea as Houses! Claude's other best friend rather than Lorenz just like I wouldn't say Ferdinand is Edelgard's other best friend(I'd say it's Dorothea tbh). Lorenz inherently splits on Claude in most Houses! timelines unlike Lysithea & Claude's A support with Lysithea is Claude expressing that Lysithea is very uniquely dear to him whereas with Lorenz it's more about mutual respect. There's stronger feelings at least from Claude to Lysithea versus Claude to Lorenz. What do you think

I think that each character in the Deer in uniquely close to Claude in their own way. I don't think best friend is the best way to have described Lorenz's relationship to Claude, but it's hard to come up with another descriptor that describes their closeness without putting rank into play.

I mentioned it before, but when Claude faces down Dimitri in Three Hopes he takes Hilda and Lorenz to do so, which to me indicates that Claude relies upon him greatly. Each house has sort of a "right and left hand man" kind of deal with the retainer and a rival? Hubert and Ferdinand and Dedue and Felix, being what comes to mind for me. It's different for Claude, purposefully, because Hilda is a retainer in name only and again more of a friend (not to say that Dedue and Hubert are not their Lord's friend, they very much are, but that for them "retainer" is an actual role with duties while Hilda's just prevents recruitment in all routes) and Lorenz's rivalry with Claude ends up with them being equals.

When you say "split" I assume you mean endings and not recruitment? I think that Lorenz and Claude build up that respect partially because of the mutual fondness they develop for each other during Three Houses. Their A support shows off the high opinion they have of each other; the way Lorenz is able to be critical in good faith and fondness while Claude is able to be trusting and open. The whole conflict between them initially was Claude appearing out of nowhere to take the reigns of the Alliance, and the A support shows just how far they've come--that while Lorenz would not hesitate to step up to the plate, he refuses to let Claude disappear or die on him so that they can shape the future together.

Even though their A support ends up with them physically separate from each other, the fact that they're both strong leaders meeting on equal grounds to shape the future they both want.

I think the relationship between Claude and Lorenz and Claude and Lysithea is very different, and thus hard to compare. On the surface, it seems similar; they both have fond antagonism and worry in their supports, but politics and dreams of the future really define Claude and Lorenz's support chain in a way it doesn't for him and Lysithea.

Actually, I think the most interesting thing about that support chain is the fact that Claude never tries to sus out Lysithea's secrets. At least three other support chains with Lysithea involve heavy discussion of her two crests (Lindhardt comes to mind, as well as Edelgard), but Claude, who's entire support chain with Marianne centers around her secrets (and eventually apologizing by revealing one of his own), isn't particularly interested in what she's hiding.

(Although, and not to tangent--Marianne's secret and Claude's own are much more similar in that if they get out they would both fear for harm coming to their person's. Although Marianne's makes her feel like a monster and Claude's does not even though other people might want him to be.)

I think Claude and Lysithea do have a very close relationship! I think Lystithea is uniquely dear to him, but I think all the Deer are. Lysithea definitely holds a special place in his heart (and in my soul I think any child of his with a Fodlan name would probably be named after her), but I don't think there's much to get comparing her relationship with him to Lorenz? Even putting their support chains aside.

Lysithea is a character who very much believes she is going to die young, and is desperately trying to wrap up her affairs before she does so. Despite this, it doesn't really have a baring on her relationship with Claude aside from the fact that it's her unseen motivation to work herself so hard.

I will say, their A support ending is adorable and super romantic. I think Claude abandoning his post for her says a lot about their relationship--he's not entrusting his dream to her, but rather taking it out of his own hands in order to ensure that she will be apart of the future he envisions. Insane. I love love.

All of Claude's paired endings involve him working with the person he loves to achieve his dream. While some are comparable (while I don't ship them, I think Hilda working hard to be good at diplomacy so that she could help Claude improve relations between Almyra and Fodlan is absolutely adorable) in their intensity, I think Lorenz and Lysithea's actually really are not. Because, really, while Claude is trusting an unknown family member to his throne in Almyra when he abdicates to be with Lysithea, who is he trusting Fodlan to but Byleth and Lorenz (and all their other friends of course).

Again, as I've said before, it's hard to compare some of the relationships (particularly romantic ones) in three houses purely based on the fact that a big feature of this game is that every character needs to be able to end up with Byleth or another one of their friends

It's really hard to discern where exactly the relationships between Lysithea and Claude and Lorenz and Claude differ in closeness, but I think I've come to this conclusion:

Lorenz is Claude's other "best friend" in the Deer, not because he's closer to Lorenz then anyone else, but because Lorenz is the one meant to fill the rival role of left-hand man, in the way Ferdinand does for Edelgard.

I agree with you, Lysithea and Claude are very close in a way that differs from their relationships with other people. I just don't think that Lysthiea fills the narrative role that Lorenz does.

(I do think Claude names a kid of his after her, if you don't chose their ending.)

#twila talks #twila answers #fe3h #lysithea von ordelia #claude von riegan #lorenz hellman gloucester #thank you for the ask anon i really enjoyed writing this #i'm not sure if i came to an acceptable conclusion but i think it's important in three houses esp #to acknowledge the frame work and narrative aspects of the gameplay #jeralt is as they say: doomed by the narrative haunting the narrative narrating the narrative lmao #I can't really compare claude's relationship with anyone to hilda and lorenz because they are his narratively assigned right and left men #and do a great job at it considering the golden deer have much more non traditional versions of that role compared to the other houses #in a world with just platonics i think claude and lysithea are more likely than claude and lorenz to just hang out in a non formal setting #alone i mean #trying to establish that i think they're besties while also clarifying the narrative role i meant in my previous post lol #i also don't want to diminish how much lysithea is relied upon by claude both in universe and out of universe #out of universe i mean me specifically using the leonie felix lysithea stride dance warp combo to one turn post timeskip levels with claude #or lysithea just casually nuking people in one hit when you play her in any stage of the game i love her #even at the roundtable i think the ordelia's probably provide Claude with a support due in part to lysithea herself #although again her family is similarly to lorenz cautious about the empire during the war since they're a border territory and well. you kn #TO CONCLUDE. FOR REAL THIS TIME I SWEAR #lorenz is claude's narrative assigned best friend (left hand man) and does a good job of that and i didn't fully clarify that in the previo #post. Lysithea and Claude have a relationship not affected by politics but not detached from it. they are exceedingly close in a notable wa #love both lorenz and lysithea with my whole heart <3 deserve the world or maybe just a second gloucester relic #someone go kill another one of rhea's siblings or maybe just find a clone glitch skjdfhdksj

[paintalyx]

i don't talk about this all that often, but it's damn miserable having to live with a special needs kid who isn't getting the necessary means of support knowing damn well that you can't do anything about it. it's frustrating, it's hard, it's messing up the entire family, and you have to suck it up if you want to do anything in life

i mean, i was forced to be a third parent since i was like ten, and i don't mind it as much as some people in my place would, but i can't replace that kid's deadbeat father or neurotic mother.

how many times have i bent over backwards trying to help or introduce new hobbies only to get left midway through without even an acknowledgement that we did something fun and meaningful together? it pains me because i do love spending time with kids but i have to constantly flipflop between being a cool older brother that i want to be and an authority figure that i have to be when push comes to shove (which is almost daily at this point). and god, i don't even want to think about how often i'm forced to mediate between family members screaming and hurling insults at each other

this has no great grandiose point. there is likely an ideal world in which my father stops beeing an asshole, my youngest sibling receives the necessary professional help, my mother stops trying to compete for having the world's biggest martyr complex and my sister stops wailing about being neglected to me every single day, but this isn't that kind of a world. i'm probably an asshole for thinking like this, but frankly, everyone in the house is always taking everything too personally, and always reacting too emotionally, and it's only getting worse with years

#vent #-ish #i don't know; i never even ask any of them for help or emotional support anymore #if i can't do it alone i won't do it at all #the shitty family situation is really starting to reflect on my other relationships too #and college too i guess #if i go out at all i purposefully stay out late to avoid seeing them when i get back #and i don't bring people over ever because i'm genuinely ashamed of them most of the time #like it wasn't like this before my youngest sibling started school #i actually had a rather decent childhood i think (other than being a professional menace and struggling to connect with peers) #there's such a huge dissonance between how i remember my parents as a kid and how they are now #that can't be shrugged off as “well now you're older and you understand more”

[lifesver]

sometimes we hold our final boys who never got therapy like. oh buddy. so all that just got internalized huh

#his family tried to support him but i think that it's super ingrained in him that he has to strong for everyone #he's good at pretending nothing's wrong. but he deals with most things alone even in universes where most of their friends lived #idk he's just like. why would i be allowed to feel anything when my friends died there i can't complain or cry or anything bc it's selfish #but also the right person asks him about it and he would break down so fast so immediately u know #most sensitive dude imaginable going through the 6 stages of grief like haha oh i'm doing fine. how are you!

[caffeinatedopossum]

When I had that panic attack the other day, my girlfriend really put some things into perspective... I don't know, I think I feel bad because this is the best my life has ever been and I'm still depressed and anxious. It feels like I can't do anything for myself and the things I can do, I don't.

But she said that she would feel the same in my position. That actually, when she was the most depressed, she *was* in my position. She said she'd go crazy from not being able to do anything all the time and for some reason that helped a lot. Like, just to hear that its not wrong to feel like this and that I really am doing everything I can.

It feels so greedy and selfish to look at my life being the best it's ever been and to still ask for more but I guess it's normal.

#i genuinely havent processed how much better things can get still because it feels like it will never happen #like im probably going to be getting top surgery this year. almost definitely even #but i cant believe it. ive waited so long that it seems like somethimg *has* to mess this up for me too #my whole life people have treated me like i need to just push through my anxieties. if i just pushed through then id feel better #if i just pushed through then id be normal #but now its even worse. i cant leave my house without help and its not that i *wont* i actually can't #i can push myself to but it isnt normal. im internally on the verge of a panic attack anytime im outside alone or in an unfamiliar place #but people dont see those things. they just look at me and see that i can but i choose not to #how do i tell them that not every choice is that easy #ny choices arent what to eat for breakfast and which parent will pick up the kids from school #its whether i stay in my house anxious and depressed and pain or leave my house for the promise of it getting better #knowing that 9 out of 10 times it has made it much worse #its deciding whether or not to ask for help when you need support but the problem cant be 'helped' #trying to guage what people will and wont take it personally that i have problems they simply arent qualified to fix #and even some problems that no one can fix

[lemememeringue]

tis change of season (oof ow, me bones) so therapy was mostly talk abt disabilities.

#mine #lem experiences cognitive behavioural torture #lem has a body #this is a relatively Safe Topic except for that once-a-year vampiric lament so I was p talkative #my therapist is also disabled so I think it was easier to connect on the Well Meaning People Who Will Not Just STOP IT #but it was difficult to explain how I'm already Over™ the five stages of grief when it comes to The Rest of My Chronically In Pain Life #it was just like ''I'm already looking into getting crutches bc ik it's gonna get worse'' ''😔 it can be scary and frustrating when—'' #''what? no this is great it means I can hit ppl who get too close and blame it on being uncoordinated'' ''.... ah.'' #hfjdvfbjgjdhkfbfjg #we also talked abt the autism support group thing. after he explained the purpose of a support group I said that it didn't sound helpful #like.. ik I'm ''not alone'' and I don't rly need my experiences validated? I just want to function enough to leave home #''it sounds like you maybe disagree w the dx. maybe you don't have autism at all?'' well that'd be p disappointing bc we got good memes #my therapist said I have a sense of humour and a good attitude uwu #throughout the session I talked abt mum and started unpacking Just The Surface of that #and I reiterated how I am Doing Okay being at home and online. I just want to get away from Here and I can't transition on my own #bc today was a decent mental health day I was mostly coherent #and we're going to work on How To Leave The House bc doctors don't count bc that requires mum #next week I'll be skipping therapy tho bc I finally got in w the psychiatry place #got a two hour intake 😭😭😭😭 #it was Weird getting back in the car after therapy today. mum has been praying for good ppl to help me abd she feels her prayers are heard #I feel kinda guilty bc a half hour ago I was talking abt how emotionally manipulative she gets #multidimensional character yanno

[musicallisto]

not totally sure what this says (idk exactly what it's implying), but if it says what I think it says, I'm gonna be 100% real with you- if I don't like something I'm not doing ANYTHING I will leave it behind and never look back responses take up too much energy even to decide if my keysmash looks weird

and I'm gonna be 100% real with you in return, likes mean absolutely nothing to an author on tumblr. does it mean you read it and liked it? does it just mean you read it and don't want to read it again should you come across it later? does it mean you're saving it for later? fuck if I know. with all due respect I really can't help but laugh when you say it "takes too much energy" to keysmash?? if it really is such an exhausting ordeal you can also just leave a heart emoji and i guarantee any writer's day will be made. I really do not mean to sound haughty when I say this but we have been over this already time and time again and it's straight up not fun for content creators to post anything on this website, because we don't connect with anybody. by all means, continue liking pieces instead of engaging with them in a way that matters - you are the sole master of your tumblr experience and I could never be the boss of you. just don't be surprised when your favorite artists pack up and leave.

#anon #sorry if i sound mean i really don't want to be rude. i genuinely want to converse with you anon #but the only people who ever interact with my work are my mutuals (whom i am immensely glad for and love to pieces) #and i have stopped posting my original writing on tumblr altogether because no one gives a shit. there's no connection. no interaction #which is like fine ok whatever but when there's no discussion no connection no emotion in fanwork? what even is the point #fandom is meant to be partaken in and shared and yall are not sharing anything i do not know how to put it any more simply #also i never said you can't like AND rb? or like AND comment? in fact i highly encourage you to do this #the point we're trying to get across is: likes alone don't support the creator because they're not telling them Anything!

[yousonickedmyprecious]

well, i’m about to see the doctor for my mystery joint pain. wish me luck. i’m terrified.

#whether i'm more scared about the diagnosis or being told again that there isn't anything wrong with me i couldn't say #haven't been seen for the joint pain before but they did tell me nothing was wrong when i went in with uti symptoms but had a negative test #spoiler i can never eat anything acidic or spicy again in my life #and i've gained a fuckton of weight from stress eating and i'm so ashamed #and rheumatoid arthritis is definitely on the table and that prospect is terrifying #not a great time to be immunocompromised if you can help it tbh #and i don't want fatigue from methotrexate #i don't have time for that at all #not to mention i'm a woman of childbearing potential in the us which means i won't be able to travel safely if i'm on methotrexate #i don't have any support or anyone to talk to so here we go into the void #and my qol sucks right now #i can't sing or play piano or dance or do pilates or eat well or what i want to #and none of that is going to change #i'm alone and scared and in pain and i have nobody to talk to #my parents are mad at me for being sick and in pain and i don't actually have any friends

[pathsofoak]

I have no idea where it came from but for some reason the natural progression of my fic has caused Thomas to be the younger brother(tm) of the group not counting Chuck

#I mean the others except for Gally ARE canonically older according to the wiki #and Thomas is starting to realize how strong WCKD really is and how small they all really are #like he feels much more like a child (in a vulnerable way) in this point of the story #than the others do because they let Newt hover over them like a mother hen and also they're together much more #not that they don't miss the same constant of support and care #this IS a found-family focused story still #but anyway Thomas's arc is a bit more moved toward the beginning of the story since he's not really there in the second half #so he realizes WCKD is too big to ever defeat or properly survive sooner than the others #I think I like how passive the end is in a way #like the kids all fight for their lives sure but they can't fight for their freedom and they know it #so they just fight to make WCKD's job as miserable as it can be because they'll be hurt anyway #that's where the end starts #because that desperation and anger is exactly what causes them to take the risk of taking the chance when someone DOES come #but the actual part where they get out is taken care of for them #I think I just like the hopefulness of 'someone will come and help you' #I mean them all fighting like hell and surviving is cool and I like it #but honestly the most important part is they survive and there are people out there that take it from there #like they're not alone like they were in the books #idk the found-family potential of the movieverse right arm is just so high #and I'm taking it to the max I guess #the point of their arcs is they're WILLING to fight for themselves #they don't have to succeed #not all on their own #it's their willingness that's crucial to their escape. Not physical strength or intelligence in any way #they don't have to solve a puzzle or destroy the enemy. They just have to trust themselves enough to believe they deserve to try to last

[attractthecrows]

making myself moody by contemplating the clan Revallen left behind

#revallen lavellan #i almost don't want to consume any more DA bc if they've defined clan tillahnen then his backstory goes down the shitter entirely #me forgetting that this is not my IP: BUT WHAT IF THERE WAS A CLAN OF ENTIRELY SECRET KEEPERS #but they're soooo. they're so. imagine you have a very impressive Keeper. like he's wise and powerful and you're so proud of him #he sacrifices his life for you and his son! how noble. his son takes over as Keeper. He's not as wise yet but he is powerful and SMART #Your new Keeper grows into the job very well. You're proud of him! you love him! he loves you! he loves his clan! #he's married with a child. how sweet. it's nice to see him happy. #his wife dies. oh no. he is distraught #he's only responding to his child. the poor man! you and the rest of the clan give him space and try to make the best of it. #but you're all SO worried! you've never seen the Keeper in this state! even when his father died he still managed to lead. but not now. #you do everything you can to support him. you make sure he's fed. you keep people from bothering him while he's grieving. he's getting wors #and one night he just vanishes with his child #you can't abandon him! he's your Keeper! he's in no state to be traveling alone! what if he does something drastic??? #but you never find him or his child. you search and search for months and can't find a trace of them. eventually you mourn. #several years down the line you hear rumors of a conclave. good! the mages and templars are threatening everyone. #the conclave exploded! sad but predictable. those silly humans. #the Herald of Andraste survived! okay sure. humans right? #no he's Dalish! huh how weird. anyways #Haven was attacked! Ah! our poor kinsman caught up in this. how sad to die amongst shemlen #he survived! #they've declared an Inquisition! the Inquisitor... #...IS YOUR KEEPER!!! #there he is!! he's alive!! he's in charge of the humans' Inquisition for some reason but HE'S ALIVE!!!!! #do you pick everything up and go to him? or have you moved on as well? #'we cannot go back to the way things were' #vs 'we never cared about the circumstances - we cared about YOU. so what if times have changed?'

[autisticlee]

seriously though, where's the line between "don't care what others thing" and "maybe the problem is you and you need to change something" ???????? WHICH ONE IS IT?!?!?!?? i'm so lost and confused

#if you dont care about other peoples thoughts and feelings about you and end up alone and woth no opportunities is it a them problem #or is it time to accept its a you problem because at that point its affecting your life negatively right?????? #so when does it become time to figure out what people think and accept you need to change something???? #any time i talk about things like this im just told “dont care what they think/find people who accept you” BUT I HAVE BEEN DOING THAT #why am i still alone and disliked by everyone?!?!!? obviously not caring doesnt work.... #unless you want me to not care that other people dont care about ME and pretend everything is perfect and fine #and not care that im very much alone with no support system and no chance for opportunities in life?????? sure let me just become a hermit #i'll he a recluse in a forest away from society and never speak to another human again then die cause i can't take care of myself fhfdhjrrje #if thats not what people mean and what they want then i jist dont get it #lee rants #actually autistic

[vaspider]

While I'm writing things that I've been intending to write for a while... one of the things that I think that a lot of people who haven't been involved in like... banking or corporate shenaniganry miss about why our economy is its current flavor of total fuckery is the concept of "fiduciary duty to shareholders."

"Why does every corporation pursue endless growth?" Fiduciary duty to shareholders.

"Why do corporations treat workers the way they do?" Fiduciary duty to shareholders.

"Why do corporations make such bass-ackwards decisions about what's 'good for' the company?" Fiduciary duty to shareholders.

The legal purpose of a corporation with shareholders -- its only true purpose -- is the generation of revenue/returns for shareholders. Period. That's it. Anything else it does is secondary to that. Sustainability of business, treatment of workers, sustainability and quality of product, those things are functionally and legally second to generating revenue for shareholders. Again, period, end of story. There is no other function of a corporation, and all of its extensive legal privileges exist to allow it to do that.

"But Spider," you might say, "that sounds like corporations only exist in current business in order to extract as much money and value as possible from the people actually doing the work and transfer it up to the people who aren't actually doing the work!"

Yes. You are correct. Thank you for coming with me to that realization. You are incredibly smart and also attractive.

You might also say, "but Spider, is this a legal obligation? Could those running a company be held legally responsible for failing their obligations if they prioritize sustainability or quality of product or care of workers above returns for shareholders?"

Yes! They absolutely can! Isn't that terrifying? Also you look great today, you're terribly clever for thinking about these things. The board and officers of a corporation can be held legally responsible to varying degrees for failing to maximize shareholder value.

And that, my friends, is why corporations do things that don't seem to make any fucking sense, and why 'continuous growth' is valued above literally anything else: because it fucking has to be.

If you're thinking that this doesn't sound like a sustainable economic model, you're not alone. People who are much smarter than both of us, and probably nearly as attractive, have written a proposal for how to change corporate law in order to create a more sensible and sustainable economy. This is one of several proposals, and while I don't agree with all of this stuff, I think that reading it will really help people as a springboard to understanding exactly why our economy is as fucked up as it is, and why just saying 'well then don't pursue eternal growth' isn't going to work -- because right now it legally can't. We'd need to change -- and we can change -- the laws around corporate governance.

This concept of 'shareholder primacy' and the fiduciary duty to shareholders is one I had to learn when I was getting my securities licenses, and every time I see people confusedly asking why corporations try to grow grow grow in a way that only makes sense if you're a tumor, I sigh and think, 'yeah, fiduciary duty to shareholders.'

(And this is why Emet and I have refused to seek investors for NK -- we might become beholden to make decisions which maximize investor return, and that would get in the way of being able to fully support our people and our values and say the things we started this company to say.)

Anyway, you should read up on these concepts if you're not familiar. It's pretty eye-opening.