#and sometimes I need to hash things out to somewhere that isn’t my own reflection | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

prinxlyart · 4 years

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No prob! Even if its just moral I love to support the artists I follow! And I will👍! Now I only have one(two maybe) question left for your Willumity AU: Who would propose first and who would they do it? (And if you allow Boscha to redeem herself in this, what relationship would she have with them?) Take care!

Oof this is a toughie. Hmmmmmmmmm........ I mean, lots of shenanigans would ensue, for sure for sure for sure, but what kind of shenanigans.....

[warning: this is like. Hella long y’all. I’m talking like, super deep dive into Boscha redemption territory. I’m not even kidding, it’s taken me all weekend to write this because there’s so much. I don’t even get into proposals...You’ve been warned]

Okay so!

Boscha sees all the girls have gotten together into one big relationship and is sort of knocked back on her ass. Amity? In a romantic relationship with Half-A-Witch and the Human????? What the fuck happened to that girl?! She’s been at a loss for how to even interact with them ever since a rumor had spread that Luz had gone toe-to-toe with the Emperor. Boscha wasn’t sure she believed that before, but watching her supposed friend of more than half a decade just drop her like she was nothing to go all soft over this human? Maybe Luz did do something impressive enough to garner Amity’s attention.

She would rather die than admit out loud (or even to herself) that she had a crush on Amity. It hurt her so much more than she realized when Amity stopped hanging out with her and it was just driving a stake through her heart when Amity defended them and joined their Grudgby team for that stupid challenge. It took her weeks following that whole fiasco to even look at Amity, let alone talk about her with the rest of her friend group, that by the time she thought she was over it, she looked up and saw her blushing and linking arms with both girls she’d played against Boscha with. Boscha may have broken her locker than day. She refused to say why.

If I’m following all of my narrative speculation threads, I think Skara pulls her aside one day and tells her she needs to calm tf down. Luz and Willow are chill as hell and they don’t deserve the vicious death glares Boscha’s been sending them. I think that’s the final nail in the coffin for Boscha. Her other supposed best friend is turning on her too?? But she isn’t??? Boscha’s head and heart are so confused by all this that she just skips the next day of school. I think she spends the day in the (newly-rebuilt) Treasure Shack just staring at the ceiling and tossing a hackey sack into the air while she blasts music that she doesn’t hear because she’s so deep in her own thoughts. Skara would find her immediately after school let’s out. There’s only one place Boscha would be if she skipped class for a day. Before any of the other teens make their way to the Treasure Shack, they leave so they can talk somewhere more private.

I think they spend a really long time hashing out Boscha’s thoughts and feelings. Skara even feels brave enough to bring up why they’re always so mean to others. There are other ways to prove how awesome you are without actively putting others down. In fact, putting others down to be on top is almost like cheating; you’re not actually proving you’re the best if you’re hindering your competition. Skara knows how awesome and amazing Boscha is and can be, but they spend their time just being mean to everyone else rather than actually showing off their talents. She also mentions how scary powerful Willow actually is and confirms the rumors about Luz taking on the Emperor and living to tell the tale so it’s not like they have no magical ability. Amity might just be rolling with the new most powerful witches at Hexside. Dating them even. And have you seen that illusion track kid in action?? He created some complex illusions during their Grudgby match and that was for funsies. They’re a severely powerful group. And they’re liked by everyone because they’re so kind. They’re revered by their classmates for being so powerful and so nice at the same time, meanwhile they just fear Boscha. They don’t think she’s all that great, but she is powerful enough to kill them if need be, so they just stay out of her way. Boscha hates everything Skara points out but doesn’t deny any of it.

Skara admits she’s been talking with Willow a lot about all of this; she’s definitely apologized for the bullying she’s done in the past and Willow actually accepted it which surprises Boscha. A lot of her insight is a mix of hashing shit out with Willow in the Greenhouse after school and some self reflection at home, but that’s why they all hang out together now. Oh, and she and Amity had a sleepover relatively recently where they decided to start their friendship over. Now they’re actually friends and can say so with a smile because it’s true and it’s not just to appease their parents.

Boscha never thought she’d do this in her life but she just bites the inside of her cheek and does it anyway: she asks Skara for advice. All Skara knows to suggest confidently is to think about how she treats everyone and how that can be changed. She also tells her to think about what she actually wants. Does she want to be the school bully? Or does she actually want to be friends with Amity again? Does she maybe want to find out how cool Luz and Willow are? They’re definitely all a package deal by now and it might be hard to be friends with Amity again after how horribly they’d treated Willow over the years. Boscha spends the entire weekend thinking over everything she talked about with Skara.

The following school week, Boscha is having a hard time getting Willow alone. At least one of her girlfriends is always by her side by the time she can find her between classes. It’s not until after school that Boscha manages to beat both Luz and Amity to the Greenhouse to ask Willow if they can talk. Willow is wary at first, but sees that Boscha has a weird look to her that sets aside and fears of Boscha attempting to pick on her. She noticed that Boscha has barely even looked at her in weeks. So she agrees and they find an empty classroom to talk in privately (Willow lets Amity and Luz know that she’s busy and will meet them later). Willow waits expectantly for Boscha to threaten her or yell at her or whatever else and is shocked (and maybe even scared?) when Boscha finally blurts out her apology. She lets Boscha just ramble her apologies for a while and watches her fumble over her words and her face turn a little red and genuinely doesn’t know how to react. Has the world turned upside down? Is it Opposite Day? Is this some kind of elaborate prank? The tears in Boscha’s eyes suggest that it’s not. Eventually Willow stops her and they just sit in silence for a minute while Willow kind of turns it all over in her head. Boscha’s freaking out because Willow is just standing there watching her and she feels like she’s a bug under a magnifying glass. I think Willow truly doesn’t know what to say and just kinda sighs and picks up her bag to get ready to leave and tells Boscha she just needs to think about everything she said. Because she can’t forgive her, not for the years of ceaseless bullying, but she needs to think about whether or not she’ll even accept her apology. Boscha just kinda nods numbly and Willow leaves and Boscha just sorta melts into the floor from exhaustion and frayed nerves.

I think Willow would ask Skara first about what she thinks of Boscha’s apology; they’re still friends after all, even though Skara’s been hanging out with them more often. Skara’s blown away because she didn’t think the talk they had just the previous Friday afternoon would lead to all that. So now Willow knows the apology is real. She’ll tell her girlfriends next because they’re also directly affected by this and they are also both shell-shocked. Amity is unsure of everything simply because she’s witnessed Boscha’s behavior first-hand for years and this just doesn’t sound like her (Luz agrees, oddly quietly), but Willow confirmed with Skara that it was a real apology. That that was why Boscha wasn’t at school on Friday. I think they’re all at the Owl House while they have this conversation so Eda and Lilith both overhear and throw their two snails in; Eda knows from experience that sometimes bullies are only bullies because they’ve been raised that way. She had some school friends that were pretty nasty before realizing just how nasty they were after the kids they were bullying got into some serious trouble. Lilith confirms the stories and also throws in that, based on her own experience, she may be doing all the wrong things with what she thinks are the right intentions. This gives all three of them something to think about for the rest of the night.

I’d say it takes them roughly the rest of the week to really come to a conclusion. The entire time, Boscha is begging Skara for any updates but Skara isn’t in on that loop. So in the meantime, she asks Skara for help in fixing her behavior during their free time. Boscha came to the conclusion on her own that she doesn’t actually want to be a bully, she just wants to feel acknowledged for her efforts. Skara reprimands her for falling back on bullying tactics when things don’t go the way Boscha wants them to. Their other friends in their friend group pick up on this and are 100% on board with helping Boscha be a better person. They were all too scared to disrupt the flow that they had to call her out before, but now that Boscha’s actually trying to be better?? They’re all in to help her. I don’t think Boscha’s ever felt this kind of support before. Her whole life she’s had friends to back her up when she tooted her own horn, her pack to intimidate by numbers. But now they’re actually wanting to help her? They’re not just sticking around so they themselves don’t become ostracized? Boscha’s never really experienced that before and it makes her feel warm inside. At first she thinks she’s sick but Bo (I think her name is Bo; the light-skinned healing track girl with the freckles that taught Skara that fire-to-ice spell) runs a quick diagnosing spell over her and let’s her know that no, she’s not sick, she’s just experiencing happiness for once. Everyone else laughs, even Boscha after a moment because holy shit, she’s actually happy.

Over the course of that week, our main trio is quietly watching Boscha’s metamorphosis from the sidelines. They’re all confused at first; she really is trying to change? Luz is the first one to get excited though. It’s just like one of her favorite character tropes: bully learns to be nice and is better for it (and maybe falls in love with the person they’ve been bullying). Willow scoffs at that, but she does admit that it’s reassuring to see Boscha actually making the effort. In public too, she’s not trying to hide the fact that she wants to change. Luz, being in all the tracks at Hexside, gets the chance to actually talk to each of the girls in Boscha’s friend group about the whole situation and gets some pretty solid evidence that yes, Boscha’s really making that effort. She reports as much back to her girlfriends and by the time the week ends, Willow’s the one tracking down Boscha by the Potions Hall to take her aside for a chat.

Boscha is scared shitless when Willow asks to talk to her for the first time since Monday but obliges and they find a private place to talk. Willow lets her know that she’s ready to accept her apology and Boscha nearly bursts into tears in relief. She knows that it isn’t forgiveness, but Willow is accepting the fact that she’s trying to change and she is sorry for her past actions. Willow fills her in on all the various (drama? Lack of drama?) chatter about her trying so hard to be nicer from Boscha’s friend group that Boscha actually does start crying at that. She’s so relieved that her friends aren’t doing this as some kind of payback; that they’re actually supporting her with no ulterior motives. They’d have every reason and right to, but they aren’t and Boscha is so relieved to hear as much. Willow doesn’t know if she should try to comfort her or what so they both kind of stand there awkwardly for a minute while Boscha wipes the tears from her face. She thanks Willow for accepting her apology and vows to her (maybe a little too dramatically; it actually makes Willow want to laugh because it reminds her so much of Luz) that she will be a better witch. Not just a better witch to her and her friends, but to everyone. When they part ways for the weekend, they’re both buzzing with giddiness. Boscha, because Willow finally accepted her apology and knew that this was a huge first step in her road to being a better witch. Willow because she knows for certain that Boscha’s giving this her all; and maybe they could even become friends. Skara and Amity did a do-over on their friendship, maybe Boscha’s hoping to do the same.

Shockingly, Boscha actually goes to Luz next by sitting next to her during their shared potions class the following week. She slides her a note asking to speak with her outside of class to which Luz agrees (with a silly doodle of a winky face and a thumbs up that makes Boscha nearly giggle). Boscha apologizes to Luz next for her behavior towards her and much to Boscha’s surprise, Luz not only accepts her apology, but forgives her too. Boscha didn’t even expect that. Luz explains that she hasn’t been on the Boiling Isles long enough to be really affected by Boscha’s past bullying, not like her girlfriends. And she’s super grateful and proud of Boscha for reaching out to Willow first and actually going to the lengths she’s been going to to be a better person. Boscha, not used to praise that she wasn’t fishing for, just blushes and nods. Luz sort of coos at her and comments on how cute she looks when she blushes which only makes her blush harder and start threatening Luz with empty promises of violence if she doesn’t shut up. Luz starts running away, cackling, and calls out to her as she’s leaving that she hopes they can be friends some day soon. Boscha silently agrees and goes home with a goofy smile that won’t leave her face no matter how hard she tries because Luz called her cute. She shoves that thought aside for the time being, just grateful that Luz was so quick to forgive her.

Finally, she approaches Amity. Or rather, she leaves a note in her locker because the Abomination Hall and the Potions Hall are nowhere near each other. At this point, Amity is on the fence about what she wants to do because on the one hand, she was never truly friends with Boscha and she’s not sure if she wants to be. On the other hand, she’s been watching Boscha change over the last week and a half and is actually surprised at how hard she’s working at it. She isn’t surprised by how hard she’s working; Boscha always gives 110% into anything she does, she’s just surprised that she’s working at being nice at all. But between Willow telling them how their chat went on Friday and Luz telling them about their talk on Monday (and Luz mentioning how cute Boscha was when she was red and sputtering her empty threats), she’s at least willing to hear her out. So she stands there and waits for Boscha to start and is actually kind of surprised to see Boscha’s already so pink she’s almost the same shade as her own hair. I think she’s silently patient out of shock more so than any amount of politeness. She’s never seen Boscha....flustered????? Luz was right, it is kind of cute, but now isn’t the time for that.

Boscha kept her conversation with Amity for last because she knew it was the hardest one to have. She had been pushing it aside for the last few weeks now; although she’s finally admitted to herself that she (has/had?) a crush on her. By the time they make it somewhere private, Boscha’s so nervous that she’s almost shaking. And Amity is just standing there, watching her, and saying nothing. That is until Boscha nearly starts crying and Amity finally breaks, if only due to concern. They may not have ever been real friends, but neither of them were heartless either. Amity manages to coax some words out of Boscha through her thick tears and once the words start, they don’t stop. Boscha didn’t mean to admit her crush on Amity to her face, but that sort of slipped out with all her other apologies and explanations. Amity desperately wishes Luz or Willow were there with her because they are so much better at emotional shit than Amity is. Amity does flush when she hears Boscha confess her crush on her and doesn’t really know what to say to that. Boscha had a crush on her? This whole time? She had a crush on the Amity from before she met Luz???? Amity considered herself an entirely different person from who she was before she met Luz. To think that Boscha’s quietly been harboring feelings for her all that time? Even before that time?? It’s flattering to say the least, but she definitely has mixed feelings about it. She didn’t like who she was before she met Luz. It’s hard to imagine someone else liking her.

Their conversation takes a long time to really hash out. They have a long history to sort out; sorting out Boscha’s feelings and identifying instances where they were horrible to other witches and how it wasn’t okay. There’s so many things that need to be figured out between the two of them. I think Boscha remembers what Skara had done and offers they have a sleepover to really try to start their friendship over. But I don’t think Amity is actually comfortable with that yet. Not due to Boscha’s crush on her or anything, just because it’s a different situation than it was with Skara. There would be a lot more to cover than just learning about what sort of music the other likes. And Boscha is definitely crushed on the inside, but just accepts it because she knows it’s a lot. I think after a while they both leave with the promise that they’ll continue this conversation later; Amity just needs to consult her girls first. She really doesn’t know how to handle all this and needs to just kinda decompress with her girlfriends and sort out all of her thoughts. Boscha agrees; they both have each other’s scroll contacts still, so they can reach out to each other whenever they’re ready to continue that conversation.

I think Willow and Luz would find it adorable that Boscha has/had a crush on Amity (which only makes Amity blush and chide them for not focusing on the subject at hand). Luz is super excited about Boscha trying to make amends all over the place. She’s even watched her between classes go out of her way to apologize to others too, so it’s not just them she’s trying to make amends with. Boscha always has one of her friends with her when she does this, but mostly as support or to remind her to not use bullying tactics or words when she’s trying to apologize. There’s been a low buzz of rumors going on about it too, Boscha’s strange change of heart has captured the attention of most students. Amity still isn’t sure how to feel about the whole situation though. There’s less to apologize for between them and more just explaining themselves. Why they never held each other accountable for their shitty behavior, why Amity seemed to just tolerate Boscha’s existence while Boscha silently harbored a crush on her; there was less in terms of wrong doings between the two of them and more just laying their cards on the table. I think Luz would be the one to suggest she go through with the slumber party, but maybe also have Skara join them as a sort of mediator. Willow is also hesitant; she doesn’t want to encourage her girlfriend to venture into something that makes her so uncomfortable, but she agrees with Luz that they need to clear the air between them. She admits that having Skara there would actually help a lot with that; Skara seeking Willow out on her own terms to apologize to Willow and talking with her so openly gave Willow more than enough reason to trust her with Amity’s feelings, especially after they reconciled their own friendship.

I actually don’t know what sort of history those girls have, but I’ve actually been in Amity’s place before. I’ve tolerated the existence of a person who developed a crush on me and it was....awkward at best. This person didn’t try to be a better person in the time that I knew them though. They just kept making excuses for their shitty behavior, so I’m genuinely not sure how this would all play out. I think having Skara join them for this weekend-long feelings jam certainly helps things along; she knows when to push them to tell the truth and when to sit back and let them take their time. I think by the coming school week (we’re what, in week 3 of Boscha’s redemption arc by now??? Almost a whole month of this emotional vulnerability??? How exhausting), they do manage to find a stable ground to start rebuilding their friendship. It takes a while, and I think Boscha’s nervous about it at first, mostly due to Willow’s near-constant presence around Amity, but Luz’s just. Sheer determination to befriend Boscha and integrate her into their ever-growing friend group both encourages Boscha and softens Willow’s stiffness in her presence.

Oofa doofa, I don’t even know how long it would take before any of them truly catch feelings RE: Boscha. I think Luz picks up on Boscha’s nervousness around Willow first and teases Boscha about it when they’re alone. And Willow and Amity do agree, Boscha is very cute when she blushes hard enough to match the color of her hair. It’s also fun to watch her freak out and turn into just one big pink blob hissing obscenities at a cackling Luz. I think Luz might get caught up in her fiction character tropes a little too much before she realizes she’s not taking Willow’s feelings into account (not so much that it causes damage; they’ve probably been dating for months now by this time). Luz would have to ask Willow how she felt about Boscha overall and Willow I think....would be unsure for a very long time. I think eventually, long after Boscha’s been fully integrated into their friend group and she’s actually seen who Boscha is when she’s a good friend and not a bully, does Willow begin to feel the inklings of feelings sneaking into her heart. Amity is in a similar boat as Willow, but neither make their feelings known for quite some time. They’re happy with their little triad relationship; they’re not sure what it would mean to include Boscha when they were still so unsure of their feelings.

Luz is so full of love she literally radiates it and it’s contagious. I don’t even thunk she realizes she’s developed a fondness for Boscha until several months after they’ve become friends. Besides, she’s far too busy teasing Boscha about her crush on Willow and Amity to realize how much Boscha also seems to blush around her. I don’t think she gets it until one day Boscha just shoves something in her hands and stalks off to class and when Luz looks at what she gave her, she just kinda gasps. Because Boscha definitely gave her a note that just reads “I like you too, you idiot”. Luz just runs to Willow and Amity and shows them the note and they all three call an emergency girlfriend meeting to sort out what exactly they want to do about this whole situation. Polyamory is hard because it requires so much mindfulness of everyone involved. But they all manage to admit that they’ve been harboring some softer feelings for Boscha and decide to test those waters. And maybe have a little fun with those tests as they do so. They maaaaayybbeee make it a competition to see who can make Boscha blush the hardest. They can all be quite competitive.

Boscha suddenly finds herself at the center of a Willumity Flirt-Off that she was NOT prepared for and doesn’t know how to handle it. All three of them are suddenly winking at her when she catches them looking at her, or maybe sitting way too close at lunch, or even just complimenting her when she doesn’t expect it and she nearly passes out from the attention. I think there’s a moment when she actually walks into a door when the girls realize they’re maybe taking this too far and apologize to Boscha before asking her if she wants to try being in their relationship with them. And I think Boscha does pass out at that.

I think it’s a tough adjustment period for them all. Balancing the four of them takes a lot time and fine-tuning to get it right. Boscha’s still just bewildered that she’s come so far with each of them enough to actually be in a relationship with each of them equally. There’s definitely some jealousy here and there, some old fears of being left behind cropping up, but all of those worries are thoroughly stamped out once they’re addressed. I think they all try very hard to get this to work and they do make it work. Boscha forever considers it the most dramatic year of her life.

I literally cannot even begin to get into proposals this is far too long already but thank you so much for sticking around if you’ve made it this far!!!!! This one in particular got hella long because there were so many moving parts @-@

I’ll be the first to admit: I’ve never been in a polyamorous relationship myself (I’ve never had any polyamorous partners before ;v;). I do know how important communication and establishing individual relationships can be though. It’s always so important to make sure that you and your partners are on the same page before doing anything that can dramatically affect your relationship. Consulting individuals within the relationship is also important. Just because you’re in a group doesn’t mean your relationship with each individual is any less important.

Ngl, this was also kind of hard for me to write because I truly don’t know what Boscha’s like when she’s not a bully. We haven’t seen that much of her character outside of her being a bully that thrives on fear and praise. She could very well be just as much an over dramatic dork as Luz. I don’t even think she knows; she’s been a bully her whole life. What is your personality like when you realize you don’t have to be a bully??? Idk, but that’s why this took me all weekend to write; I really don’t know how Boscha is outside of being a bully. Hopefully we get to see who she is in season 2!!!!!

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mydisasteracademia · 3 years

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Quirk Oddities: LOV

A/N: Warning, reeeeeeeeeally long post under the cut lol yeet

Gotou Imasuji/Muscular:

You have NO IDEA how happy I am that we F I N A L L Y know this man’s name,, anyway

Due to his Quirk having to do with his muscles (and obviously, augmentation of said muscles), he’s constantly in danger of muscular dystrophy if he doesn’t exercise them enough, even when not tapping into that muscular form.

Also feeds into his ‘blood knight’ behavior -- his eternal battle to fight stronger and stronger people and his own fight code matches with his Quirk, which gives him a stronger and stronger physique. He’s literally always itching for a fight.

Needs to eat a lot more than your average person, more on par with someone like Fatgum. Eats a ton of proteins and has a relatively healthy diet compared to a lot of other people. He’s very strict about what he eats so that he can get the maximum amount of energy for his muscled-up form.

Mustard:

His Quirk makes him more quiet and chill than most of the League; due to its somnolent properties (and due to the fact that he likely accidentally exposed himself to it far too often when he was younger), he reserves his energy for when he truly needs it.

As a negative side-effect, however, he suffers from chronic insomnia, which is mostly to blame for his irritability and (relatively) fragile mental state (not ‘fragile’ as in ‘literally an inch away from snapping’, but moreso ‘this close to mania at all times’.)

Drinks a lot of tea to try and calm himself down in the evenings. Lavender and chamomile are his teas of choice. On the flip side, tends to drink energizing drinks during the day so that he has enough energy to function.

Really prone to emotional lows. If he’s not careful, he can fall into depression and can get anxious very easily.

Moonfish:

Eats a ton of meats. Just... raw meats. All the time. He’s incredibly unhealthy. The bloodier the meat, the better. Will not eat anything cooked more than medium.

Will try to bite your arm off if you try to take food away from him. Actually, probably just tries to bite your arm off regardless. Don’t feed him unless you have a Quirk to subdue him in like 0.58 seconds.

Has to keep his teeth in pristine condition so that they don’t... accidentally break off when he’s trying to attack someone. Spends an obsessive amount of time brushing every morning and night. It’s one of the only times you will ever see this man even close to sanity, ironically.

Kenji Hikiishi/Magne:

Used to have to be cautious with using her Quirk when she was younger. Due to her inability to wield it correctly, she ended up magnetizing everything within a 2.5 meter radius. Eventually, she learnt to control it, but this caused some upsets when she was in school and people learned to avoid her if they didn’t want to get thrown like a ragdoll.

Very attracted to people. Not in a sexual way, but she loves socializing and can often wander near groups of people without realizing at first.

This isn’t an oddity with her body, per se, but she used to constantly be careful about magnets getting stuck to her giant magnet. It’s a pain to pluck them all off, so she eventually just started wrapping it, which negated some of its effects on anything close by.

It’s honestly good that her Quirk doesn’t work on herself, for many obvious reasons. When she was a young child in the first years after it manifested, she always questioned it. Now she’s incredibly glad it doesn’t, considering how much havoc she could wreck on other people. Instead she’s more in-tune with it, in a sense. She can tell apart red and blue ‘magnets’ very easily due to that.

Kurogiri:

Y’all don’t know how tempted I was to put Oboro’s name in there lmao

Constantly has a dark aura around himself that looks like a thin fog. I know, that’s canon, but unlike his actual fog created around his neck, this stays around his actual body shape so that even if the collar is gone and he can’t form more fog, the aura would be there enough to obscure some of his more defining features.

Due to him being a literal reanimated corpse, the reason his eyes are glowing and yellow is due to being reanimated. That, and yellow looks cool as hell with black and purple, amirite?

Prefers totally dark rooms. If he’s by himself just chilling after a long, hard day of being a babysitter to about 6-9 societal outcasts, he’s sitting or lying down, eyes closed, with all of the lights off, just basking in it.

Adding to that last point, enjoys misty, foggy days. He doesn’t so much enjoy rain as much as he does the general vibe of a fog-dense area. Really feels at home in it.

His sense of pain is highly muted, and his body is incredibly cold to the touch. I mean, he’s literally a reanimated corpse. It takes a lot of force for him to actually feel anything, and this goes for non-pain sensations too. Often loses feeling in his hands and feet and they feel like wisps of mist.

??? Shigaraki/All For One

Due to his Quirk’s innate nature of taking and giving, he’s a huge kleptomaniac. He just can’t resist swiping things (and maybe giving them back later).

He’s drawn to studying Quirks. Like a certain someone else we know, he’s obsessed with hashing out the more intimate details of a person’s power, and then he can truly decide whether or not he’s taking it.

His body is more naturally suited for taking on more than one Quirk at a time, but without his life-support system he would be royally fucked. Many of his Quirks require a lot of energy and his body is just too weak in its current state with all of his injuries to sustain them all. I know, he’s still incredibly powerful, but he’s considered ‘weak’ right now. Imagine him at his peak. How many Quirks did he have? 50? 100? More?

Adding onto his kleptomania, this applies to people too. He’s incredibly possessive of people he deems worthy of his time (his brother and Tomura being two notable examples) and will do whatever it takes to keep them at his side in the name of ‘keeping them safe’. If he had a family somewhere and he found out about them, you bet your ass he would go full yandere on them, but isn’t hesitant to lay the emotional/mental manipulation on thick.

Tomura Shigaraki:

As I’ve stated a few times before, due to his Quirk, Tomura’s body is constantly destroying itself, from within and outside. His skin is the outward reflection of it; after being found by AFO he was weak and easily sick due to his immune system not fully ready to handle the destructive properties of Decay.

Sometimes he’ll choke on debris from his own mouth and throat, as I’ve stated before. Very prone to ulcers and muscular dystrophy, so he has to be careful to exercise just enough that he staves off his body totally shutting down.

Has to be incredibly careful with his diet, because the wrong foods could damage his body more than before. CAN NOT HAVE SPICY/HOT FOODS. His taste buds have already been damaged enough due to forays into it before, and he can’t afford to sustain even more damage to his throat.

Has to drink a ton of water, not just to flush down debris in his throat but because he’s very prone to having a dry mouth. Part of the reason his voice (well, English Dub voice anyway) is so raspy is because his throat is constantly dry. If he doesn’t have enough water, he’s prone to bad coughing fits.

His nails are actually quite brittle, and when he scratches his neck he has to be careful not to break them. His lips get chapped easily and will split and bleed unless he lays on some ointment.

AND SPEAKING OF OINTMENT! I know the jokes about him needing moisturizer/Chapstick are hilarious, but Tomura has extremely sensitive skin and can not put on anything that has perfumes of any kind in them, otherwise it triggers a severe reaction and it takes him a while to heal. There’s a specific brand of ointment that he and Dabi use, and like the flame user he has to be constantly reapplying it during the day, otherwise his skin dries out even more.

He’s drawn to death/destruction, much like Toga is fascinated by blood and death (and birds). Much of the time, he causes said death/destruction. It’s so morbidly fascinating to him and it fills him with a weird sense of pride or calm.

Prefers humid conditions. If it’s more arid, he suffers. Can’t go out in the sun too much, because he burns very easily (more than Dabi, surprisingly). He likes lukewarm, cloudy weather, and especially autumn (can you guess why?).

Can’t do alcohol. Not just that he legally can’t drink (I doubt he’d give a damn about that), but consuming too much would further damage his body and he can’t afford to do anything too reckless.

Himiko Toga:

Her Quirk makes it so that she’s prone to anemia much easier than a normal person. She needs to keep her iron levels up, especially as a teenage girl, so she usually goes for more iron-rich foods (and especially meats). Give her a blood bag and she’ll drink it like a Capri-Sun.

Normally, a person can’t ingest much blood through their digestive system, otherwise they get sick. Himiko doesn’t have much of a problem, thankfully, but she still has to be careful not to drink too much otherwise she does feel nauseated (kind of like eating too much food will leave you full and vaguely sick).

Like Tomura, she’s fascinated with death, but to a more obsessive degree (given that we’ve seen her literally eat a dead bird before). Unlike him, she actively seeks it out, and most often creates death herself.

Jin Bubaigawara/Twice:

Oh boy, what else is there to say that hasn’t already been revealed in canon? I’ll try my best to go with headcanon here, but Twice is a complicated person to speculate about given that we’ve seen most of everything there is to know.

His body constantly feels like it’s about to split apart. It’s not much of a painful feeling as it is an odd sensation. He’s constantly aware of it and it does a toll on his overall mental state Every time he does create clones, the feeling briefly intensifies, and he finds it very hard not to keep splitting.

Needs the suit to feel like he’s ‘contained’ himself, if that makes sense. Like, he’s less likely to physically split in half if he’s wearing it. That, and of course, needs the suit to keep his crumbling mental state in check.

Atsuhiro Sako/Mr. Compress:

Much like AFO, he’s a compulsive kleptomaniac, especially for expensive/shinier things. He just can’t help but swipe things up, but if the other members ask for it back, he’s generally good about handing it over.

Sometimes is filled with a lot of nervous energy that manifests itself in fidgeting with his marbles. In those periods of time, he feels even stronger compulsions to steal and they mostly go away when he does.

Shuichi Iguchi/Spinner:

There’s so much to put here. Mainly gecko-related things.

As I’ve stated before, he thrives in hot, humid weather. Loves chilling on sun-warmed rocks the best. SUFFERS in the cold.

It’s a legitimate struggle not to eat worms or bugs whenever he sees a juicy one. When he was a kid, he just ate them whenever, but after being bullied for this compulsion, he tried to stop and eventually just hid it from others.

Sometimes when startled, he might make a chirping noise, much to his irritation. If any other gecko-type people are around, they might chirp back.

Sheds a few times a year on a fairly regular schedule. Gets really uncomfortable and itchy for a bit and gets irritated more easily as he sheds. Once it’s over, his mood gets back to normal.

Enjoys dark places to just hide in sometimes. If you can’t find him, maybe you’ll be able to find him in a dark crevice or a hidden nook or cranny. He feels a degree of safety in spots like this.

As we’ve already seen, he can stick to walls. I don’t know why, but that just makes me happy for some reason.

Touya Todoroki/Dabi:

Hoo boy. This one is a doozy.

Despite his Quirk, his body is more suited to cold temperatures, as seen in canon. This means he greatly prefers cold conditions and suffers in heat. He’s one of the only ones of the League who can be out in winter weather without bundling up.

Burns extremely easily, especially when it comes to consuming hot/spicy things. If you’ve ever burnt your tongue on a hot drink, that happens to him at least 70% of the time, but not just his tongue. His entire throat gets burnt, and it takes a while to recover.

His skin is incredibly sensitive to temperature, and whenever he uses his Quirk too much he burns more and more of it. But due to the large amount of his body that’s burnt and scarred, a lot of his sweat glands don’t work properly, and this can overheat him even more. He constantly has to be careful about his internal temperature and often carries a thermos of something cold to help himself cool down. He needs to take colder showers otherwise his wounds get aggravated. It just soaks up the moisture and he’s more prone to bleeds.

As I’ve hc’ed before, Dabi needs eyedrops. Due to his tearducts being damaged enough so that he can’t cry tears (as he’s stated himself), much like Aizawa, his eyes get dry and irritated way too easily. He constantly has to be reapplying eyedrops to keep his eyes moist and try to heal some of the damage already done. If he goes for too long without them, he’s prone to bleeding, and witnessing this man literally cry blood is viscerally disturbing.

His staples can get easily irritated and due to his fire they stay hot for longer. If he’s not careful when dealing with them, he’s liable to get burnt worse just from the metal. If he’s too rough, they will start bleeding and he’ll have to disinfect his wounds yet again.

The purple parts of his body? Third-degree burns. He can’t feel a damn thing. Doesn’t mean he can’t rip and tear, but he’s likely not gonna feel it. He’s had to throw away a lot of shirts because the bloodstains were just too hard to get out.

Prefers drinking things to eating things whenever his jaw is sore from his wounds. While he was first healing as a teenager, all he did was drink things until he could reliably work his jaw again. Cold brew and ice-blended coffees are his drink of choice.

Gets sick really easily. Ever since he was a young child, he’s been more susceptible to ailments like the flu and needs to constantly keep up his health. His body is weaker than it should be, and that frustrates him a lot. As he’s stated in canon himself, he can be easily motion-sick.

#lov headcanons #quirk theory

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creativenostalgiastuff · 6 years

Text

A Soft Place to Land

Summary: 4 times that Thomas finds the Sides in their happy places, and the 1 time they find Thomas in his Rating: G Warnings: hurt, falling, gym, stress Word Count: 4036 Author’s Note: Ugh I am so sorry it took me 5ever to get this story done. I swear I never meant to go on unofficial hiatus! Work just became way too hectic. But this was a cute little project to work on in my spare time. The goal was to use pick a happy place for the sides that were not my knee jerk answer/ obvious choice. I also challenged myself to use present tense since I don’t normally do that. So here we are. I hope you like it.

***Patton***

Thomas doesn’t know how it happened exactly. One minute he is sitting in a room following a meditation app on his phone, the next he is in a park, laying in the grass. He sits up slowly, blinking as his eyes adjust to the sunlight. It appears to be a rather large park with tall trees to provide enough shade to satisfy any visitors on this rather humid day. A warm breeze dances through the air, bringing the soft scent of flowers the landscapers must have planted recently. The laughter of children and the cautious calls of mothers fills the air.

Thomas stands up and looks around the park. He’s next to a jungle gym with little children playing happily. He can’t really describe it, but something pulls him over to the bench nearby. The metal is warm, but not completely uncomfortable. He sits down and let his eyes scan over the view around him.

Suddenly there’s a cry from the playground. A small child is a on the ground, clutching his knee as he pulls it to his chest, tears filling his eyes. There’s a split second of silence as all of the heads in the area snap to see who has gotten hurt. Faster than expected, a familiar man in khaki pants and a light blue polo is the one that moves towards the child: Patton

“Hey there, Kiddo,” Patton says to the child. “You’re okay. Can I see?” The boy nods as he wipes at the tears in his eyes, extending his leg towards him. Thomas doesn’t remember when he stood up, but before he knows it, he is moving across the playground to just behind the kid and Patton.

Patton looks at the child’s knee and brushes off the few pieces of mulch that stuck to it, “Aw, see there? No harm done. Just scared you there a bit, right?” The kid nods. “Well, we all fall down. What is important is that you get right on back up,” Patton encourages with a smile. “So come on, give me a high five and get back out there.”

The kid smiles as he hits Patton’s hand with his own before scampering off again. Patton stands, brushing the mulch from his pants as he watches his friend run off.

Thomas takes a few steps to stand next to his Morality, “Hey, Patton.”

Patton smiles as he continues to watch the kid go and join some others for a game of tag, “Hiya Thomas.” They stand there for a moment as Thomas tries to read Patton’s face. There’s something there that Thomas can’t quite place, some kind of peaceful acceptance coinciding with a longing.

“Uh, Thomas?”

Thomas shakes his head as he realizes he had been asked a question, “What, sorry?”

Patton chuckles, “Not that I’m complaining, but what are you doing here?”

“Oh, right, uh,” Thomas laughs nervously, “Where exactly is here? I had been in my room meditating and suddenly I’m in a park with you.”

“Oh, this isn’t a real park,” answers Patton. “This is the imagination, or at least part of it.”

Thomas spins around, “This is the imagination? I thought that was Roman’s room.”

“It is. He lets the others of us borrow it sometimes when we need to.”

“Did you need to?”

“Well, yeah,” Patton states as he raises an eyebrow at his creator, “You were meditating. As part of you, that means that us Sides also are reflecting on the same things you are.”

“I was thinking about the passage of time,” admits Thomas. “I guess that is a rather emotional topic for me.

Morality nods, “You must have tapped into just enough creative energy to join me here.”

“In the park?”

“It’s my happy place,” says Patton as he smiles, looking Thomas in the eyes. “You have a lot of warm memories in the park even before you knew what that meant. Mom would even go to the park and walk when she was pregnant with you, and then she brought you when you were a baby. Geeze-oh, even as an adult you often find yourself in the park with your friends.”

Thomas nods, “You’re right. I just never thought of it like that before.”

“Yeppers,” Patton says, “This is my happy place. But I really should give it back to Roman before I cause problems here.” A door appears a few feet away with the words, signaling Patton’s exit.

“Of course,” responds Thomas as he takes a few steps. He pauses, “Uh, how do I get out of here?”

“Same way you came in, close your eyes.”

“Do I need to click my heels together?” Thomas jokes as he follows the directions.

“Three times,” Patton dead pans. “And no peeking.”

*** Logan***

The next time it happens, he wakes up in a white room surrounded by bright lights. A gentle hum fills the air from somewhere behind him. He’s sitting in a chair in the middle of the room, still spinning slightly as if he had pushed it moments ago. There are so many things around him that Thomas doesn’t know exactly where to look first. As his eyes adjust, Thomas notices green blackboards filled with writing and formulas in a scrawling font. Bookshelves are scattered throughout the room filled with various textbooks and binder, meticulously labeled. Throughout the room, a few desktop computers sit hooked up to various machines and instruments, running various tests, beeping happily to verify their continuous running.

The faint smell of gas from a Bunsen burner nearby fills the air, mixed with something that almost seems like burnt sugar. Whatever the cause of the scent, someone is trying to cover it up with the hash aroma of lemon cleaners.

There’s a soft humming in the background, a gentle tune that Thomas recalls but can’t quite place. It isn’t quite classical, and the melody just sort of floats through the ambient noise of the laboratory. It might be from a video game, or maybe a movie he watched. Thomas stands and slowly begins weaving his way through the maze of science materials around him, trying to find the source of the smell.

It takes him a moment, but Thomas finds it. There’s a familiar figure hunched over a microscope, his blue tie draped over the shoulder of his lab coat, a familiar black polo collar peeking up over it. His glasses are pushed up on his head, allowing him to press his eye as close to the mechanism as possible. His hair is a mess, not its usual well kept state, as if he had ran his hands through it numerous times.

“Logan?”

Logic jumps at the call of his name, pulling back from the microscope as his head snaps up, “What?” He turns, a hand on his chest trying to calm himself from the surprise until he sees his creator. “Oh, hello Thomas.” Logan pulls down his glasses so he can see his friend, “I… Uh, Thomas?”

Thomas smiles, “Yeah, Lo?”

“What are you doing in my laboratory without the proper safety gear?” Logan asks as he pulls his tie back in front of him and smooths it over. “I really must insist that you observe proper safety while in the lab. You were an engineer. This is not news to you.”

Thomas rubs the back of his neck, “Right, sorry. Where…”

Logan waves his hand and conjures up a lab coat and a pair of safety goggles before extending them out to Thomas, “Honestly I am flabbergasted that Virgil let you in here without the proper attire. The risks in this room alone… Ah, but is he alerted that you are here in the Mindscape? We should run some tests…”

Thomas pulls on the lab coat and sticks the goggles on his head, “Yeah I don’t think we should test…”

“But what would be the control?” Logan asks, as if he did not hear Thomas. “Do we try and make you anxious in here? Or do we simply wait and see how long it takes for Anxiety to notice you are in here and not in the real world?”

Thomas’ brow furrows as he listens, realizing that Logic is rambling and lost in his own thoughts, “Logan?”

“But if we were to do that,” Logan mutters as he runs a hand back over his hair and turns to the notebook on the table next to him, “we would have had to start the time already. There’s no way to know how long you have been in here before I was alerted to your presence. Tell me, has this happened to you before?”

“You mean just showing up?” Thomas asks, not quite sure where Logan is going. “Yeah, it happened a few weeks ago with Patton. He was in Roman’s room, at the park.”

“Ah, so you were pulled into the creative realm without cause?”

“I had been meditating.”

“Of course,” Logan exclaims as he scribbles notes on the paper. “You were meditating, which allowed you to tap into the raw creative energy which in turn allowed you passage into the setting that was currently being used.”

“Are we currently in this creative realm?”

Logan nods without looking up, his speaking pace rising with each sentence, “Yes, but how do we prove that this is the case? Can you end up in this space without one of us using the energy currently? I should talk to Roman, run some tests. Do I test him, or the room? Or how do you test raw creative power? Maybe…”

Thomas grabs Logan and spins him back around, “Logan, stop.”

Logic freezes, tense from the surprise contact. He stares at Thomas with unblinking eyes. Thomas’ heart sinks as he realizes what must be happening.

“Logan, are you stressed?”

There’s a soft whimper in response. Thomas lets go of Logan, smiling at him, “Is this your happy place?”

Logan nods, still tense.

“Take a few deep breaths with me,” Thomas instructs. “Let’s talk about it. What makes this your happy place?”

Logan takes a few calming breaths, and Thomas watches the tension leave Logic’s body as he does so. When he speaks, his pace is back to a normal rate, “The laboratory is always as I leave it. The only surprises here are the ones I allow to happen. Everything has a place and I know where to find everything here.”

Thomas smiles, “Of course.”

Logan takes a few steps over to the table and sits on a chair, leaning over with his elbows on his knees and hands folded. “I apologize, Thomas. I… must have gotten carried away. With the current schedule we are trying to keep, our sleeping routine has been interrupted. That tends to make it more difficult for me to function at optimal levels. Add to that Patton’s whole demeanor being heightened, and… I guess I just needed a break.”

“No worries, Logan,” says Thomas, his voice soft and warm. “We all have our rough days. You have to take care of yourself. And if coming in here helps, then far be it from me to stop you.”

Logan takes off his glasses and wipes his eyes, “Thank you, Thomas. Roman has been quite generous to allow us all access to this space when we need it. I think I shall just run some old experiments before I head back to the others.”

Thomas nods, “Sounds good. I should probably come out of this meditation. I feel like I’ve been out for too long anyway.”

Logan replaces the glasses on his nose and smiles up at the Youtuber, “That sounds like an adequate plan. Please take some notes on this experience? I really am quite curious on how this particular phenomenon in the Mindscape works.”

***Roman***

Thomas opens his eyes and blinks a few times in surprise. He is surrounded by bookshelves that only reach to about his waist, all stacked with layers of organized books, thin in their binding and colorful. The rows twist and turn around him, creating a winding path of bright books all angled in the same direction to push a person towards the same center. The walls are all a light blue with white puffy clouds painted on, a few kites and an airplane scattered across it too. The room is quiet and peaceful, a sort of respect and dignity echoing in the empty air.

In the center there is a lone rocking chair in the middle of an open space, the back of which is against a large glass window. Sunlight streams in bright, filtering through the foliage of the forest behind the building. One person is sitting in the rocking chair, gently swaying while they read. Thomas smiles at the sight: Roman.

Roman’s head is in the middle of the book in his hands, bright colored pictures beautifully adorned the jacket of the book, spilling onto the pages. While Roman is clearly grown, Thomas can’t remember the last time the man looked so young. Roman’s eyes scan back and forth as they read the words and take in the illustrations that accompany it.

Thomas doesn’t remember deciding to move, but he soon finds himself in front of the Prince, still smiling fondly. He considers saying something, but for a reason he can’t quite place, he hesitates.

Roman doesn’t notice Thomas standing there, thoroughly engrossed in the book as he gracefully turns the page. His mouth forms the words as he reads them without speaking. This level of focus was hard to come by from the royal; he usually was much more animated and enthusiastic.

Thomas decides to sit on the ground in front of his friend and waits patiently.

“Hello Thomas,” Roman says finally, his eyes not leaving the book. “To what do I owe the honor?”

Thomas shrugs, “I honestly don’t know.”

“You don’t know your own quest?” asks Roman with the raise of an eyebrow. “That will make it quite difficult to accomplish, wouldn’t it?”

“I guess you could say that my quest was self-reflection?” suggests Thomas as he scratches the back of his head.

“Ah,” Roman nods. “I had heard rumor that you were being pulled into my creative realm when meditating recently.”

Thomas returns the nod and puts his hands in his pockets.

Roman’s eyes finally lift to look at Thomas, “What were we meditating on?”

Thomas sighs, “I was just thinking about how far this project has gone. We’re coming up on the Sanders Sides anniversary.”

“I remember,” Roman comments with a glint in his eye that makes Thomas smile. “Who do you think has been coming up with all of the celebration ideas?”

“So… what brings you to the library?”

Roman closes the book in his hands and leans his head against the back of the chair, “Much like yourself, I was taking a break.”

“A break?”

“We need a spectacular idea for this anniversary. Especially since it has been so long since we got a video out.”

Thomas looks around the room, “Yeah, I guess we both are feeling that pressure.”

“We all are,” Roman corrects as he stands up and stretches. “But yes, that is why we are here.”

“In your happy place?”

Roman turns and gently places the book in the chair, “Yes.”

“Which is the library,” Thomas states slowly, trying to make sense of the idea. “Not a stage.”

Thomas looks at him and can see the shadows under Roman’s eyes, indicative of an overworking imagination. The two of them start walking out of the labyrinth of smaller bookshelves, entering the shelving units that extend high above them. Roman walks with him, running his hands over the spines of the books as they walk, a faint smile on his lips. His eyes seem far off, as if lost in thought.

“All stars need their time out of the spotlight I guess. So yes, the library. It’s where it started if you really think about it. All of the stories, the traveling performance groups mom would bring us to with our brothers, the puppet shows: they all helped to set us on our path, helped to give me form as it were.”

Memories flood Thomas at the mention of these events. The kindly old lady that would read the children stories every week, the two-person show that told the old folktale, the young librarian that helped Thomas apply for his first library card. This library was full of creativity and inspiration in a calmer environment than any stage he had been on.

“It makes sense,” admits Thomas with a chuckle. “Although, I have to admit I am surprised Logan wasn’t the one with a library.”

“Oh, he has one. It’s just on the other side. He prefers reference while mine is children’s books and fiction,” responds the Prince, shaking his head. He pulls a book off of the shelf and starts flipping slowly through it until he stops, having found his place. “Care to join me?” he asks Thomas without looking up from the book.

“Honestly, I should probably be getting back to reality,” Thomas says pointing over his shoulder. “If that’s okay with you at least.”

Roman nods and waves a hand dismissively, “Of course, Thomas. Whatever you need. But if its all the same to you, I think I’ll stay here with this book for a little while longer.”

“Totally,” smiles Thomas as he gives a small salute to the royal. “Catch you later?”

“As you wish,” Roman says as he slides down to sit on the floor with his back against the shelves.

***Virgil***

Thomas sits up and looks around. Unlike the previous times he woke up in the imagination, he realizes where he is right away. But maybe waking up on the workout bench is a good clue. He wrinkles his face at the stench of dried, old sweat hits him hard. Thomas smiles, it’s a recreation of the gym from home. The only differences were small, like the lack of the wall of mirrors, or that any of the equipment he could possibly want to use was empty. That never happened in reality. It was a ghost town without a soul in sight… almost. One person with familiar purple hair, a purple shirt, and black athletic shorts was running on the treadmill.

Thomas stands up and walks over to the treadmill adjacent to his Anxiety and presses the quick start button. The treadmill slowly starts to move beneath his feet, allowing Thomas to leisurely stroll.

He watches Virgil from the corner of his eye, not wanting to spook the Side. Anxiety is keeping a good strong steady pace for distance running. The hum of the treadmill with the rhythmic footfalls created a soothing atmosphere, if Thomas is honest.

Thomas can’t help but notice how good Virgil looks. And not just from working out. He seems to have more color to him recently and is less curled in on himself, standing straighter and with more confidence. Plus it takes less time for him to calm down when something stressed him out.

“Are… you just… what are you doing?”

“Huh?”

Virgil is now watching Thomas, “Are you just watching me run?”

Thomas shakes his head, “Sorry, I just didn’t expect this. I knew I was stressed, hence the meditating, I was trying to help. But I never imagined that your happy place would be the gym.”

The corner of Virgil’s mouth twitches into a smile as he hits a few buttons on the treadmill, slowing it down to a walking pace. “I know, it’s weird.”

“No,” corrects Thomas with a hand up, “Not weird. Just not what I expected, but now that I see it, it makes sense.”

“Right. Fight or flight reflex,” Virgil says as he picks up the water bottle and takes a sip. “It just needs to get out sometimes, right?”

Nodding, Thomas says “Exactly. I know I always feel better after exercising, I just never thought of it coming from you relaxing specifically.”

“Well, surprise,” Virgil answers with his usual brand of sarcasm. “It works. Especially since I could edit the stressful parts of going to the gym out of this particular day dream.”

“Is that what this is?” smirks Thomas. “A day dream?”

Virgil presses the pause button on the machine, “I guess it depends on your definition. Logan would say no I think but Roman would say yes.”

Thomas stops his own treadmill and leans against the machine, so he can get a better look at Virgil, “But what would you say?”

“It’s the gym without the mirrors or the people, both of which I don’t get along well with,” Virgil smirks as he wipes away the sweat on his face with a black towel. “Seems like a dream to me. And it is day time.”

“Fair enough,” laughs Thomas. “Well don’t let me stop you from enjoying the dream.”

“No worries there,” Virgil sighs happily. “You’re always cool with me. Besides, its time for me to get back to reality. Patton wants to have movie night.”

Thomas grins, “Sounds nice. Have fun.”

“Yeah,” Virgil says as he grabs his water bottle and heads towards the door with a wave. “See you around?”

“You know it.”

***Thomas***

“Are we sure we should be doing this?” asks Virgil. He is sitting on the couch in the living room with the other three; Virgil sitting against the arm of the couch with Patton next to him. “We don’t really need to use the Mind’s Eye, do we? Isn’t it, like, breach of confidence?”

Roman waves a hand dismissively at Virgil as he presses the buttons on the remote to the TV, taking a step back to sit next to Patton, “Oh you worry too much. Thomas doesn’t mind us checking in on him.”

“That seems awfully dismissive,” Virgil moans as he pulls his legs up underneath him on the couch.

“Help me out here, Lo,” Roman sighs as he fiddles with the remote some more, smacking it a few times.

“We are part of Thomas, are we not?” Logan reasons as he adjusts his glasses on his nose. He is sitting on the ground at Patton’s feet, a book propped up against his knees, “Therefore, it would stand to reason, that we cannot spy on him since it is impossible to spy on yourself.”

Patton reaches over and pats Virgil’s hand, “We all have been feeling Thomas’ work take its toll on him. And if we’re honest, we can all feel a little settling right now. So it wouldn’t hurt to see what is helping him feel better right?”

Virgil pauses for a moment and thinks it over before nodding in agreement. Patton was right, he could feel a little relief in his chest starting to settle gently and spread. It would make things easier if he knew what was going on to help make that happen for the next time he was being a bit too much for Thomas.

The television lights up causing Roman to jump slightly in his seat, “I got it!”

The four of them quiet down and watch the Mind’s Eye play out on the TV. Thomas is sitting on the floor of his own living room, looking up at the couch. Many of Thomas’ friends are on the couch, laughing at something that must have been said. Thomas stands up and walks towards the kitchen to grab some snacks before returning to the others.

“Aw,” Patton lets out a high pitch sigh. “He’s with his friends. No wonder he’s feeling more relaxed.”

“History would show that his friends are always a way to help him feel better,” Logan says as he opens his book.

“Helps us feel better,” adds Patton.

Virgil watches the screen for a moment. He can’t help but notice how happy everyone seems, the smiles and light in their eyes. He takes a deep breath, relaxing further, “I guess its our happy place.”

Roman nods as he lays his head against Patton’s shoulder, “Friends definitely help give us a soft place to land when Thomas needs it.”

551 notes · View notes

leam1983 · 3 years

Text

On Autumn

I call these chilly, wet days with bright colors and overcast skies the Dying Days. Nature's nowhere close to dying, she's just tucking herself into bed. No, what's really dying is a chapter of life itself. Maybe I see too much syncronicity in this, but defining moments in my life usually happened somewhere between late August and late November.

Today felt like one of those days: colorful, vibrant, chilly, with the earth smelling of decay outside the office - and everything telling me to get the Fuck outta Dodge while I still can.

The Big Boss is in denial. He's repeating to anyone who'll listen that the chip shortage is on its last legs. It's not. Appointments and referrals are in the pits, our no-shows are through the roof, and our clients are down to basically begging and groveling, plastering superlatives on dogshit rebates and hoping beyond hope that calling Joe Average for his 2014 Corolla's going to land them a buyback. My call center colleagues are filling in for the satellite teams that handle tire-change season for local garages. Hours might shift to a nine-to-five to reflect this, which I don't mind.

That covers October, and only October. November is usually dialed in months in advance, ahead of the Holidays, and now we have nothing. The salesforce might see its hours slashed within a week. I'm fine, being on the Production team, but the Sword of Damocles is still up there, all dangly-like. For the second week in a row, we've got nothing planned for Friday.

Next week? Hey Google, play The Twilight Zone's theme.

All because the global chip shortage is driving prices and import costs up the wall. Things get spread out across the chain, but the consumer ends up picking up the saltiest part of the final tab. It's hard to present anything as a great deal when you're looking at a 10% upmark cost for even last-gen sedans. That means no buyback offers. That means no clients for us, and those that do hang on are told to revise their expectations.

When I took the phone, I used to be able to bring in fifteen, maybe twenty referrals and appointments a day. Now, with the same skills and toolset, I bring in three. Sometimes five or six, on my better days - and that's for the mid-range and high-end sectors.

Try calling in and around factory and manufacturing districts. Try convincing a young mother that's already struggling to make ends meet in the midst of the Delta wave that shouldering a debt in the tens of thousands is worth it when her car's barely six years old.

Fuck, no.

The call center's deserted, our huddles turned into the seven or eight remaining regulars hashing things out around the coffee machine, and it's gotten harder than ever to keep the froshes motivated. Now, more than ever, they're aware of how upper management sees them.

They're disposable, and it pisses me the fuck off. We're some of these kids' first job ever, some of my youngest colleagues are still in their mid-teens - and the fun they had over the summer's evaporated. Now we're just the breadline they need for their smartphone contract or their tentpole console and PC releases. The breezy ones turned into cavalier types, then turned brazen - then stopped giving a shit. Four of them are playing hooky almost weekly. Instead of addressing things responsibly, the floor manager's pacing around the lanes and aisles, taking anyone aside who isn't transfixed with their desktop's set of Web apps.

"I'm afraid you're not giving us your 100%" is something I've heard several times over the past week, now. She's given it to me, too. I used to think Floor Manager Boss Lady could look fierce when she needed to - a moderately non-cliché Girlboss type - and now all I'm seeing is a cornered animal. Whenever she reports back to The Actual Boss, it's with taut skin and deepening worry lines. She's terrified.

The veterans feel it, too. Apart from their pension, the paycheck made their modest lives livable. Now, though? Those with enough strength left are scrambling, and those that can't are in the process of navigating HR's darkened halls to try and find an exit that doesn't land them on the unemployment line. Half of these guys' work is starting to look like the kind of stuff you'd see pushed around work placement agencies: pages and pages of LinkedIn printouts and Indeed screengrabs.

The Actual Boss is spending more and more time at the gym. He handles things well, but you can tell that there's a punching bag, somewhere, that's taking the blame for everything from the strikes in South Africa's silica mines to the various manufacturers' head offices being stuck trying to keep the shareholders in line with offers that aren't too generous.

Others don't have release mechanisms. Some colleagues of mine stormed out of the floor manager's office, cussed out shitty scripts in full view of Production team members or just stopped giving a shit. Our metrics are getting worse, which makes people feel worse.

People openly talk about looking for other jobs. In Quebec, at least, etiquette demands that you don't publicly discuss job-hunting while on the clock. There's been several reprimands, already.

As expected, nobody gives a shit. I sure as fuck don't. I don't give in to the temptation, but I also haven't worked my own authority as a fill-in supervisor all that much. I shield the other supers, all the while nodding at the mouthier types and adding I feel ya on the after-hours Discord group.

I've got three interviews lined up. Work's already notified. Supervisors and floor boss accepted that with looks of quiet resignation, but Actual Boss came up to me, offered to give me a raise out-of-pocket (assuming I didn't tell anybody) and more or less begged me to stay.

We get along well, but I also get along with girls in Accounting. How's it going to look for me if I drink from that cup and one of these girls notices weird extras in my slips? I can't do that, not in good conscience.

One of the sales reps took me aside, a few days back. They're not fazed yet, they're partly paid by commission. They make cash even out of sales they cinch outside of our referrals and appointments.

"You know why you'd never really hack it as a salesman, Brain? You're too nice. You empathize too much."

I realized that this was coming from the rat bastard in the salesforce; the salamander who's okay with pricing overused and worn-out demos as close to Stock price as he could without breaking the law.

I smiled icily, took a swig of coffee. "Yeah, it must be nice knowing you'll just go back to the same four Nissans and that you won't ever have to confront a customer's dissatisfaction. Betcha you sleep real well, at night."

He didn't pick up on my sarcasm. "They're just opinions, bro; I'm just here to deal, y'know?"

Sure. Deal away. In the meantime, some of my colleagues have been driving the same busted sedan to the point of being ordered by the cops to get their cars towed in for servicing - all because they can't structure their budget around a broken part that costs two hundred dollars to fix.

I caught one of my older colleagues weeping, alone in the cafeteria. An older lady, sweetest person you've ever met; everyone's Favourite Grandma, no matter the lack of blood relations. She was crying, because she wasn't sure how she was going to afford Christmas presents for her grandkids.

I hugged her after sanitizing my hands, social distancing be damned. If it weren't for my Disability Savings Account, I'd be forced to stick my inhalers on my Visa.

I figured the end of my tenure there would feel like a big, huge nothing-burger. Woop, one office - and zoop; another office!

Instead, it feels like I'm watching clumsy hunters trying to work out how to put a lamed hunting dog out of its misery. Doom and gloom around the water cooler, either in the meatspace or on Slack.

Time to send more resumés - except I'd rather stop and hug more people for a few days, first.

#work stuff #real life

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random-fandom-infinite · 7 years

Text

My First™ Yuri on Ice Meta!

[Just a note – since I’m an English speaker I’ll be referring to the English subs in this Meta – my apologies if I miss any subtleties in the language.

Also this is pretty long and has a bunch of swears in it. Also it’s about Ep12, so spoilers. I also talk about anxiety, so if that bothers you, tread carefully. Also this is super long. Apologies if the “read more” doesn’t work.

Also, also, I don’t know how to take screen caps, so all I have are quotes. Sorry y’all.]

So I’ve been thinking about Yuri on Ice Episode 12, because there were a couple scenes that felt strange to me (and possibly others) – specifically, what Victor Said to Yuri right before he preformed his Free Skate.

I mean, the big thing everyone wanted to see in episode 12 was Victor and Yuri hash out their feelings – and basically what it comes down to, is most people expected Victor to say something along the lines of, “Yuri, I still love you. No matter what happens.” But we didn’t get that. Instead we got, “how is it possible that you still haven’t won a single gold medal?” and a lot of people (me included) were like … “WHAT THE FUCK? VICTOR WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU CAN’T JUST SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO YURI KATSUKI OF ALL PEOPLE!”

But then there was smiling, and crying, and hugging, and everyone kind of went, “Whaaaa?”

And looking back on it, I think Victor said EXACTLY the right thing.

And here’s why.

This is what we know about Yuri, and what he’s receptive to when he’s upset.

- A girl once tired to hug him when his friend got hurt – he pushed her away because “[He] didn’t want her to think [he] was feeling unsettled” and “[He] felt like she was intruding on [his] feelings” ep4. He hates having people coddle him and treating him like a weakling.

- His friends and family know how to support him without “crossing the line” ep4. “Minako-Sensei, Nishigori, Yuko-chan and my family never treated me like a weakling. They all had faith that I’d keep growing as a person” ep4.

- Yuri seems reserved, but is INCREDIBLY competitive. “He actually hates losing” ep2.

- In episode 7, after “shattering” Yuri’s heart, Victor says, point-blank, that he doesn’t know what to do. So Yuri tells him EXACTYLY what he needs. “Just have more faith than I do that I’ll win! You don’t have to say anything. Just stand by me!” ep7. This fits in with the previously established approach that Yuri’s friends and family use – namely, “They all HAD FAITH that [He’d] keep growing as a person”

So WHY is “I love you, no matter what happens,” the WRONG thing to say?

Because it leaves room for doubt.

Let me explain.

To a calm, confident, or otherwise non-anxious person, this phrase seems really innocuous. At its core, it means: “You always have my love, and you don’t need to worry about disappointing me – so go out there and just do your best!”

But to someone with anxiety (or at the very least severe confidence issues), like Yuri, it sounds a little different.

Now, just clarify, this is my own interpretation, as some who also struggles with severe self-esteem issues and anxiety. (I realize everyone with anxiety is a bit different, so I can really only speak to my experiences).

To someone like Yuri, who NEEDS PEOPLE TO HAVE FAITH IN HIM, this is not a comforting phrase, because anxiety makes you miss the “I love you” part, and instead makes you focus on the “no matter what”, part.

The “no matter what” in this case, means “whether you win or lose” – which is reminder that that OH DEAR LORD THERE IS STILL THE POSSIBILITY THAT YOU WILL LOSE.

“I love you, no matter what” is a phrase people say when they’re preparing for the worst. It would be like Victor saying, “I hope you win, and I think you probably will. But if you don’t, then whatever, I guess”.

Which isn’t BAD per se, but it dismisses all of the work Yuri has put into this one moment. And it would make Yuri’s train of thought go a bit like this:

“Ok, Victor will love me, even if I lose,” – “I mean, he’s probably just saying that. I’m sure I’ll win … but what if I ACTUALLY lose though?” – “Wait, is he saying that because he THINKS I REALLY AM going to lose?” – “IS HE EXPECTING ME TO LOSE?” – “HOLY SHIT, HE THINKS I’M GOING TO LOSE!” – “NO, NO, NO, STOP IT. FUCK!” – “VICTOR HAS NO FAITH IN ME, HOW CAN I POSSIBLY WIN NOW!?”

Remember, it’s been clearly stated that Victor’s Faith in Yuri is one of the keys to his success. Yuri wants to make Victor proud, and show the world that Victor taking time off to coach him has not been a waste. He wants to prove he deserves Victor – he wants to surpass Victor and be worthy of skating on the same ice as him. If Yuri thinks, for even an instant, that Victor is not 100% with him, he is at risk of self-destructing. We see hints of this in Episode 11, when Victor is watching the other Short Programs.

Now, obviously, this is all in Yuri’s head. We as an audience know that Victor loves Yuri unconditionally. But that’s the thing – Yuri’s entire character arc is about him finding his confidence – successfully managing his anxiety, and growing as a person. Victor is the one who helps him achieve this.

Throughout the series, they’ve made it a point to avoid the “Love fixes everything” trope – which is AWESOME. Just because Victor and Yuri are in love doesn’t automatically make his anxiety go away.

Instead, throughout the series, Victor slowly learns how to manage Yuri’s anxiety, mostly by trial and error (and he fucks up – A LOT) but ALSO by having faith in him and working through his emotions with him, instead of brushing them off. “When I open up, he meets me where I am” ep4.

Sometimes Victor doesn’t even say anything at all, because he knows that’s not what Yuri needs. “You don’t have to say anything. Just stand by me!” (YURI ep7) – compare that to episode 11 – after Yuri’s SP score is announced, Victor stays quiet, thinking, “What should I give Yuri now?”

So here’s the OTHER thing about “I love you, no matter what happens”.

It completely dismisses the very real, very intense emotions Yuri is feeling.

It’s the Grand Prix final, and as far as Yuri’s concerned at this point, it’s the LAST time he will skate competitively, AND he’s determined to win gold to make Victor proud and prove himself to the world. Not to be too hyperbolic, but to Yuri, this is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED.

He is under a SHIT TON is pressure – and I mean, that’s a SHIT TON of pressure for ANYONE – even someone without anxiety. And by throwing out a flippant “I love you, no matter what”, you’re basically saying, “Your emotions are invalid. The results are meaningless, don’t worry about it”. It’s like telling a person with Depression to just “cheer up” – that’s not how it fucking works. It doesn’t MATTER that this person “loves you” – because at this exact instant, Love is not the issue. Winning is the issue. Winning is where the focus is. There’s no time to think about anything else.

Sometimes anxiety will cause you to fixate – you worry about things until they become too massive to cope with. In the most basic of layman’s terms, your “fight or flight” reflex is sounding all kinds of alarms and there’s NOTHING you can do to turn them off. (Most therapists will work with you to develop coping strategies to help “turn them off” so you can function in the real world). For me, personally, the worst thing someone can do when I’m anxious or having a panic attack is trying to take my mind off it. Relaxing, soothing words mean nothing, because in my overwhelmed mind it’s like, “THERE IS A PROBLEM! WHY ARE YOU IGNORING THE PROBLEM? DON’T TELL ME NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT – HELP ME FIX IT!”

Plus, we KNOW Yuri doesn’t like being coddled – so gently cooing an indulgent “I Love You” is REALLY missing the mark. “Oh poor baby, I’ll love you even if you lose” is absolutely NOT the kind of thing that would motivate Yuri.

And besides, Yuri already KNOWS he has Victor’s love no matter what. They’re fucking ENGAGED – Victor is literally prepared to be with Yuri for the rest of their lives. To shed some light on this, in episode 7, we have this exchange:

“But this time I’m anxious because my mistakes would reflect on you, too! I’ve been wondering if you secretly want to quit!” (YURI ep7)

“Of course I don’t” (VICTOR ep7)

“I know!” (YURI ep7)

Catch that? Yuri says, “I KNOW”. He literally screams it. He knows, logically, that Victor doesn’t want to leave – but he still worries about it, regardless.

But, that’s the other fun thing about anxiety – logic has no place here. Logically, Yuri knows Victor is happy with him, he knows Victor was just trying to get through to him by testing him, he KNOWS Victor isn’t just going to fuck off somewhere. But then his anxiety whispers, “But what if he DOES …” and that’s all it takes.

Yuri is overwhelmingly stressed – and emotions don’t just disappear because you want them to. There are no magic words to make it all better. So instead of a generic platitude, instead of trying to take his mind off how he’s feeling, Victor meets Yuri’s anxiety head-on, and says something truly meaningful instead.

So WHY is “how is it possible that you still haven’t won a single gold medal?” the RIGHT thing to say?

Because it leaves ABSOLUTELY NO room for doubt.

Let me explain.

Let’s break down that moment in Episode 12. First, Victor says:

“Don’t worry, you can win Gold, Yuri. Believe in yourself”

Now, this is Coach Victor™ spouting off some generic platitudes. This is what literally every coach has ever said to every athlete ever in the history of the universe. This is Coach Victor™ not knowing what to say, and bumbling is way through another encounter with Anxious Yuri™.

And Yuri is having absolutely none of that shit. He says:

“Hey, Victor, you said before that you want to stay true to yourself, right? Don’t suddenly start trying to sound like a coach now.”

Yuri is 100% calling him out. There are more layers to this of course – that Yuri wants Victor to just be himself – to be the skater who inspired his whole career. They’ve gotten this far because they’re Victor & Yuri™ and they have the Power of Love on their side – not because Victor is the world best coach.

Yuri then goes on to say:

“I want to smile for my last time on the ice.”

To me, this is a plea – Yuri wants to talk to Victor; Not Coach Victor™. He wants the Victor who meets him where he is. The Victor who said, “Tomorrow, show me the skating that you honestly liked the best” ep10. The Victor he loves. Yuri absolutely DOES NOT WANT the generic, “I love you, no matter what happens”. He wants Victor – brutally honest, genuine Victor.

So Victor flips his hair, rolls up his sleeves and spits some sick truth:

“Yuri, listen to me. I debated whether I should tell you this now, but … I took a break after becoming the 5 time world champion to coach you, so how is it possible that you still haven’t won a single gold medal?”

And this is the part where we as fans (including me) collectively went, “HEY, WHAT THE FUCK?”

But wait … “how is it possible that you still haven’t won a single gold medal?” doesn’t this sound familiar? Where have I heard this before?

Oh, that’s right – Episode 3:

“How many times have you messed up during a competition? You have the skill to win. Why can’t you make it happen?” (VICTOR ep3)

“Well that’s probably because … I lack confidence” (YURI ep3)

“Right. My job is to make you feel confident in yourself” (VICTOR ep3)

All the way back in episode 3, at the start of the series, Victor reveals that HE PERSONALLY BELIEVES that Yuri has the skills to win a Gold Medal. He says it point-blank, right to Yuri’s face. He’s seen Yuri FLAWLESSLY REPLICATE his program for “Stay Close to Me” – an INCREDIBLY DIFFICUT, GOLD-MEDAL-WINNING PROGRAM.

It’s almost as if Victor has had faith in Yuri this entire time – but Yuri’s anxiety just wouldn’t let him accept that.

Oh wait. That’s EXACTLY what’s going on. And we all know that what Yuri needs most of all, especially when he’s overwhelmed, is for Victor to have FAITH in him. And to “Just stand by [him]!” ep7.

So with that in mind, the line reads less as, “Yuri you suck. Why can’t you win anything? Wasn’t my coaching good enough for you?” and it starts to read like this:

“Yuri, listen to me. I debated whether I should tell you this now, but … WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK? You are SO GODDAMN TALENTED that I LITERALLY CANNOT COMPREHEND how it is PHYSICALLY possible that you have not won a gold medal yet!!! I’m not even competing this year – you’re not stuck in my shadow! There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING standing in your way. I believe with all my heart and soul that you are the BEST skater here – so GO GET THAT GODDAMN MEDAL ALREADY BECAUSE WE WORKED SO HARD AND YOU FUCKING DESERVE IT”.

Victor has SO MUCH FAITH in Yuri that he is LITERALLY BAFFLED by the fact that Yuri hasn’t won a Gold Medal. Notice how he says “How is it possible …” rather than, “You haven’t won anything yet” or “you have to win something”. IT’S A QUESTION. He KNOWS that Yuri is so talented and so dedicated, and the very idea that Yuri could lose because of this “confidence thing” is just absolutely unacceptable to Victor. He sees AMAZING things in Yuri – and he always has. Like he said in episode 3, he’s made it his job to bring Yuri’s confidence out.

So how does that fit in with Yuri’s anxiety? This seems like the kind of thing that would put even more pressure on him.

But let’s review what we know about Yuri.

- He hates having people coddle him and treating him like a weakling.

- His friends and family all had faith that he’d keep growing as a person. This is the same type of Faith he needs Victor to express – “Just have more faith than I do that I’ll win! You don’t have to say anything. Just stand by me!” ep7.

- Yuri is INCREDIBLY competitive. “He actually hates losing” ep2.

So instead of being soft and sweet – wishy-washy, doubtful and coddling, Victor is brutally honest – he gives Yuri what he needs – which in this case, is a fucking wake-up call.

Next, Victor says:

“How much longer are you going to stay in warm-up mode?”

Here, he’s meeting Yuri where he is, by issuing this challenge – he phrases it in such a way that Yuri is certain to respond to it. He knows that Yuri is under HUGE amounts of pressure, and inside, he’s facing down a massive stream of negative nonsense – so he helps Yuri fight it by voicing his absolute, immoveable, unwavering Faith in him. Here, Victor is basically saying, “I know you’re good enough to win – and more importantly, YOU know you’re good enough to win, so what the fuck are you waiting for?”He has more faith that Yuri is going to win than Yuri does. And he’s making sure Yuri knows it.

He’s doing EXACTLY what Yuri told him to do in episode 7.

And finally, we have this little gem:

“I really want to kiss the gold medal”

Can you think of a more quintessentially “Victor Nikiforov” thing to say? Yuri wants Victor to stay true to himself – so Victor obliges. This statement is so perfectly, genuinely Victor – it’s flirty, and coy, and challenging and blunt and surprising. And the little whine in his voice when he says it? Like, literally slays me.

And again, he leaves no room for doubt. He doesn’t say “If you win the gold medal, I’ll kiss it”. He says, “I really want to kiss the gold medal”.

It’s not an “IF”. It’s a “WHEN”.

It’s definitely still a challenge – but he’s not issuing an ultimatum. He’s not saying, “prove your love with a gold medal” or, “we won’t get married until you win” he’s saying “DON’T YOU DARE SABOTAGE YOURSELF AGAIN. YOU ARE GOING TO WIN. NOW BRING ME THAT GOD DAMN MEDAL SO I CAN KISS IT”

There is ABSOLUTELY NO doubt in Victor’s mind that Yuri will win. He presents this as a fact of nature. It’s like – water is wet. The earth revolves around the sun. And Yuri Katsuki will win the Gold Medal at the Grand Prix Final.

And when he does, Victor Nikiforv is going to kiss it. And then he’s going to kiss Yuri. And then he’s going to take a selfie of them and the medal, and then he’s going to take a selfie of himself kissing the medal, and then he’s going to take a selfie of him and Yuri kissing while Yuri’s wearing the medal.

He’s already planning for Yuri’s win.

So, in conclusion – why is “how is it possible that you still haven’t won a single gold medal?” better than “I love you, no matter what happens”?

Because there’s a HUGE difference between saying, “I love you” and “I believe in you”.

And we know that “I love you, no matter what happens” isn’t how Yuri wants to be loved and motivated – and it ALSO it isn’t how Victor would genuinely GIVE his love either.

In episode 4, Victor says, “Ok, I won’t let you off easy, then. That’s my way of showing my love”. And he never does let Yuri off easy – he doesn’t let Yuri hide his feelings, he doesn’t let Yuri back down from challenges, he doesn’t let Yuri slack off when he knows Yuri can do better. He has faith in him.

You can see it in the way he talks about Yuri throughout the series. He’s constantly pushing Yuri to be better. And he’s constantly telling people how much he believes in Yuri.

“You have the skill to win. Why can’t you make it happen?” (VICTOR ep3)

“Yuri, you’re not weak. No one else thinks that either.” (VICTOR ep4)

“Hmm … since you weren’t under pressure, I thought you’d score in the hundreds” (VICTOR ep5)

“Of course, you’ll see Yuri be perfect” (VICTOR ep5)

“You can score even higher, so don’t feel down, ok Yuri?” (VICTOR ep5)

“Now that Yuri can do a quadruple flip, he’ll definitely win at the Rostelecom Cup and advance to the Grand Prix Final!” (VICTOR ep7)

“Right now I see a lot of potential in Katsuki Yuri’s skating” (VICTOR ep8)

“How is it possible that you still haven’t won a single gold medal?” (VICTOR ep12)

It turns out that this moment in episode 12 really isn’t out of place at all.

In this moment, Yuri didn’t need to hear “I love you” he needed to hear “I believe in you”. And that’s exactly what Victor says. Victor is showing his love by “not letting Yuri off easy” – and it means so much more than “I love you, no matter what”.

So while it looked pretty harsh and weird to us as an audience – this moment between Victor and Yuri is actually so full of tenderness and understanding. Victor FINALLY says what Yuri needs to hear. Yuri FINALLY starts to realize the FULL extent of Victor’s adoration of him – on AND off the ice. They’re still in the middle of making major, life-changing decisions, but for this one beautiful moment it they’re in sync – there’s a sudden clarity, and everything else can wait.

I think, especially for western audiences, we’re so used to having everything spelled out for us (looking at you, Hollywood), that we sometimes feel cheated when things don’t go “according to plan”. Characters in love have to kiss. Characters in love have to say “Will You Marry Me?” Characters in love have to say “I love you no matter what”. But it’s so much more raw and real to see a relationship play out with its own unique little quirks. Its more engaging to watch two actual people trying to figure out how another living, breathing human works – how their partner thinks and feels; How to figure out what their lover needs – and how to be selfless enough to give it to them.

Sometimes it’s more fun when things don’t go according to plan.

#yuri!!! on ice #yuri on ice meta #meta #yoi #yoi!!!#yuri katsuki #victor nikiforov #yuri #victor #victuri #victuuri #viktuuri #long post #tw:anxiety #yoi ep 12 #yuri on ice

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