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sarahzstories · 3 years

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*A/N this is an interview with Gwen and Harry Styles from my Instagram story that you can read here! This is done as if the interviewer is sitting in their living room asking them questions for a magazine! I hope you enjoy this little glimpse into the Styles marriage!*

Q: Harry what was your first impression of Gwen?

Harry: I thought she was dead at first.

Gwen: That’s so lovely honeybuns. Why don’t you elaborate on that?

Harry: Right well, I was walking down the beach after a few cocktails at this bar I went to a lot in Jamaica and uh...well there was this body just laying in the sand and uhm...I’m not going to lie I did contemplate kicking her when I first approached her.

Gwen: That’s a good first thought process to kick a body you assume is dead.

Harry: Don’t be mean lovey. I’m being honest.

Gwen: Please go on...

Harry: But I didn’t have to kick her or anything because as soon as I kneeled down to like touch her she opened her eyes and gave me this huge smile as if she’d known I was there the whole time and in that very moment I remember going “oh wow”

Gwen: He did in fact say that out loud.

Harry: She was honestly mesmerizing and it had nothing to do with the drinks I’d had before seeing her.

Gwen: I’m sure the booze had nothing to do with it. *pats Harry’s leg*

Harry: So my first impression was “is she dead?” And “wow” does that answer the question?

Gwen: I hope you’re comfortable? This is going to be a while...was that just the first question?

Harry: *rolls eyes*

Q: Did you instantly hit it off?

Gwen: I’d say yes, because after we met on the beach we spent the rest of my time in Jamaica together.

Harry: Yes we hit it off right away. We just sort of had a spark and I just didn’t want to spend time without her if I didn’t have to, honestly I’d never met anyone like her before.

Gwen: He’s still like that.

Harry: It’s true. i don’t like to be away from her if I don’t have to be.

Q: Who made the relationship official and when?

Harry: I did and it was the day my album came out and honestly it wasn’t planned it just sort of happened.

Gwen: He was on FaceTime with me while I finally got to listen to his album and he just kind of blurted out that he loved me.

Harry: Yup. I said “I love you” and she smiled and said it back so naturally I followed that up with “so, can I call you my girlfriend now or is that lame?”

Gwen: And to that of course I told him “sure” ya know super casual.

Harry: That’s us right? The picture of a casual couple.

Gwen: Gucci isn’t casual honeybuns.

Harry: It can be if done properly.

Q: Where do the nicknames honeybuns and love comes from?

Gwen: I mean look at him! He is sweet and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy like a honeybun.

Harry: She’s just always been my lovey? I don’t remember a time where I didn’t call her that.

Gwen: He only calls me other names when he’s upset with me.

Harry: True...but that’s very rare

Q: Gwen did you honestly not know who Harry was when you met him? And was that weird for you Harry?

Gwen: I had heard of him yes, I mean I didn’t live under a rock and I’m from California so the name Harry Styles I’d heard before. But I honestly didn’t know what he looked like before meeting him. I wasn’t a huge One Direction fan and he hadn’t had any solo stuff out yet so I didn’t really see his face anywhere.

Harry: You didn’t like One Direction?

Gwen: Do not start with me. I didn’t say I didn’t like One Direction, I just said I wasn’t a huge fan. There’s a difference. That type of music just wasn’t my thing. But I listen to it now with Vivienne.

Harry: But really it was sort of not weird but refreshing? The fact that this human whom I’ve completely become enamored with has no clue who I am other than what she sees and knows because of things I’ve told her, it was very exciting because it just assured me that she really liked me for the real me and not Harry Styles from One Direction.

Gwen: When I found out that he was this massive superstar it didn’t change anything about him in my eyes. We met in a situation where no one treated him any different than everyone else so it wasn’t until I got back home and told my friends who I had met and what had happened that it all sort of came crashing down that “wow he is like a really big deal huh?”

Harry: I remember being so scared about what was going to happened when she left Jamaica since I still had loads to do with the album and such and I just didn’t want what we had built together to get ruined by like the reality of the real world if that makes sense? I didn’t want her finding out about “Harry Styles” to ruin it all because I really liked her.

Gwen: It makes sense honeybuns. We met in the weirdest of circumstances so that’s a very rational fear to have. But look at us! We’ve come so far!

Harry: So far indeed.

Q: Who is more romantic?

Harry: Gwen.

Gwen: See I was going to say you!

Harry: Me? No way. You leave me those cute little notes in random places that have those little poems on them.

Gwen: Yeah but you send me flowers randomly and will text me in the middle of the day reminding me of random things you love about me.

Harry: So it’s safe to say we are both equally romantic? I will say this though, Gwen knows how to plan a romantic date that would put even the greatest romance movies to shame.

Gwen: I do love a good romantic date.

Q: What’s Harry like in the mornings?

Gwen: Annoyingly cheery.

Harry: Ah love a good morning.

Gwen: Really he is a dream in the morning because me and mornings don’t mix well so he’s quite lovely to have around in the morning. He makes my coffee and sometimes if I’m really in a mood he will put my slippers on my feet for me.

Harry: That happens about four days out of the week lovey...

Gwen: Like I said me and mornings don’t mix well so he’s good to have around.

Harry: *smiles*

Q: Do you think you two have a healthy relationship?

Harry: Uh I mean yes? But I’m not afraid to say I’m a very codependent type human and Gwen is who I have clung to over the past few years but that’s just me being honest.

Gwen: I think we have a healthy relationship. Every couple is different and Harry and I just prefer to be around each other anytime that we can. But that’s what happens when you meet your soulmate.

Harry: I agree lovey. Gwen is literally my human. So if you’ve met your human than you get it? It’s almost painful to be without them. But I don’t think that’s unhealthy? We can go places without each other we just don’t enjoy it as much.

Gwen: I let him go to the grocery store without me. I loathe that place.

Harry: True. She hates it so yes I go there alone once a week and it’s fine.

Q: What’s something a lot of people get wrong about your relationship?

Gwen: That it’s all perfect all the time, like people really think we don’t ever argue and I’m like what? We broke up for like five months at one point. We aren’t perfect.

Harry: Yes people seem to think the two of us are just such a perfect match that we aren’t allowed to disagree or fight. We have disagreements but we are adults so we handle it and move on.

Gwen: He thinks that glitter belongs on everything and I disagree. There is a time and a place for it.

Harry: That time and place is always and on everything. So you see? We are just going to move on now because she knows that’s a hill I am willing to die on.

Gwen: He will defend glitter until his dying breath.

Q: Why did you two break up? Who initiated getting back together?

Harry: I was selfish and assumed Gwen was going to always be okay with having her dreams be on the back burner until I got my career where I wanted it. So naturally she just got tired of it and left, I completely deserved it.

Gwen: I didn’t just leave though. It wasn’t quite that dramatic, we had a long conversation and decided it would be best if I moved out and at that point he had just started all his Gucci campaign stuff so he left for Italy while I moved back into my old place.

Harry: Also I initiated the getting back together process because Gwen knew that I just needed my time to really process what I wanted and that when I was ready I’d find her again.

Gwen: It was all very mutually respectful, I knew what he needed and he also knew that I needed to go and do some things for myself so it wasn’t this big sad emotional thing because I think we both knew we’d end up together it was just a matter of when.

Harry: Oh yeah I knew you’d be mine again I just needed to get my shit together first.

Gwen: Honeybuns! Language...

Harry: Oh right! Sorry...

Q: Was Vivienne planned?

Harry: Yes. Everyone assumes she wasn’t and I think that’s solely because when we announced Gwen was pregnant we weren’t engaged or anything.

Gwen: Harry and I have known we are it for each other since the very beginning so wanting to start a family was a very natural next step for us even though we didn’t have the labels of husband and wife yet.

Harry: Exactly, we’d been together for a while and I kept telling her how our house could use some more heartbeats and not ones that belong to cats.

Gwen: He made it pretty clear he wanted a baby and one night I told him “a baby would be nice” and boom two months later I found out about Vivienne.

Harry: I don’t like to waste time.

Q: How did you two find out about Vivienne?

Gwen: I was tired a lot and that’s very much not my thing.

Harry: She may hate mornings but she isn’t one to lay in bed all day. So we kinda knew something was off.

Gwen: So I went to the doctor and got some blood work done and they came back with a smile on their face and I just knew. I was like “I’m pregnant.” And I cried because I mean I’m carrying a little human! It was very emotional for me.

Harry: So naturally she had to call me to come get her because she wasn’t in any condition to drive and when I got there she was a mess and I could tell by how she was smiling probably the biggest smile I’d ever seen on her face that it was good news and I just started getting all watery eyed myself because being a dad is just... something I’ve wanted for a while.

Gwen: I didn’t get to tell him in some elaborate way, I’m not very big on that type of thing so that whole situation of him having to come get me is very us.

Harry: Yes very us indeed, crying in the middle of a lobby over Vivienne.

Q: What was Harry’s proposal like?

Gwen: Very casual because I was very pregnant and we were laying on the couch and he went to go get my heating pad and I had Lancelot on my hip and Merlin was laying on my feet and when he came back into the living room he laughed and I was “are you laughing at me? Why are you laughing at me?”

Harry: It almost went very bad very quickly because she doesn’t like to be laughed at if she didn’t intentionally do something funny. It hurts her feelings.

Gwen: But anyway he comes in without my heating pad but he has this little box in his hands and then he got down on one knee and leaned over the couch and grabbed my hand and at this point I’m crying and Lancey and Merlin are looking at him like “why are you hurting my mom? I will kill you” because they got very protective of me while I was pregnant.

Harry: I mean it makes sense. You’re their queen...

Gwen: True. But then Harry placed the ring on my middle finger because that’s the only one it would fit at the moment and goes “Please allow me the pleasure of being yours for all eternity? I promise I’ll never stop loving you.” So I said yes and we both cried as usual and it was very sweet.

Harry: Best decision I’ve ever made was asking Gwen to allow me to love her forever.

Q: What was the wedding like?

Harry: It was perfect. It was exactly what we wanted and very small and intimate. Gwen looked like an absolute vision.

Gwen: It was very romantic and not on a beach as everyone assumed it would be. It was very low key and it was just a dream. I loved every moment of it.

Harry: *stares at Gwen with a grin on his face*

Gwen: He’s thinking about it...

Q: How many kids do you want? What do you want next?

Harry: Six

Gwen: He’s been saying six for like a few weeks now but we for sure see ourselves with at least four.

Harry: Why not add two more and make it six? Six is a solid number.

Gwen: I’ll have six if one set is of twins.

Harry: That’s fare lovey, I’d love a set of twins.

Gwen: But as far as what we want next we don’t care. Gender is a social construct that we don’t really abide by.

Harry: We just want healthy children.

Q: Harry have you written any songs about Gwen?

Gwen: Oh yes good question. He doesn’t answer when I ask this and I only truly know of one song.

Harry: Yes I have.

Gwen: What songs?

Harry: That wasn’t the question lovey.

Gwen: *rolls eyes*

Q: How have things changed since you’ve gotten more personal on social media Harry?

Harry: I think people can see a side of me that normally they wouldn’t. I’m still very private with things but Gwen shares a bit more than me and I love that the fans or just anyone who’s interested in our lives can get a little glimpse of what’s really going on. It’s been nice.

Gwen: We are still very private and don’t show certain things, like we didn’t post a picture of Vivienne until we were already safe at home and all that. I love Harry’s fans to death and they for the most part love us as well but I also know not everyone is on our social media out of love for us so I think we have a nice balance of showing the real us while keeping somethings to ourselves.

Harry: I agree. We keep a good balance and it’s been great.

Q: Who is worst at answering texts?

Gwen: Me

Harry: She is the worst.

Gwen: He will text me and I’ll just call him and he’s like “lovey there is a reason I texted instead of calling you..” and he’ll be in a meeting and I’ll feel horrible.

Harry: Happens all the time. She doesn’t like to text.

Q: How do you make your marriage work while Harry’s gone a lot for work?

Harry: We communicate very well. We have routines we do every day while I’m away and it helps tremendously. Also I don’t go away without my girls a lot so we don’t have to do this often.

Gwen: Yes communication is key! We FaceTime about four times a day when he’s gone. But he’s right a lot of the time we go with him. Like if he is filming something or shooting something Vivienne and I will go with but not go to the set until he tells me he’s almost wrapped up for the day then we go over and get to see him do his thing for a bit witch is always fun.

Harry: I just do better when I know my girls are close by. I know that makes me sound so odd but really I’ve said it so many times but I don’t enjoy myself when I don’t have Gwen around and Vivienne well she just lights up my world.

Gwen: Like nobody else?

Harry: Was that a One Direction lyric quote lovey? You do listen!

Gwen: I told you I listen with Vivienne so she can hear her dad in his younger years.

Q: Is there anything you’d like to say to the fans?

Gwen: Thank you for loving my honeybuns and I so much. We adore you all so much and are truly grateful for the opportunities we are given because of how much you love us.

Harry: Yes, thank you so much. I have nothing but an endless amount of love for each and every one of you. Thank you.

#harry styles #my little lanky baby #Harry and Gwen #harry styles imagine #harry styles instagram #insta stories #solo harry styles #harry styles drabble #harry styles concept #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles x ofc

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unsurvivor · 4 years

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Rules

Feel free to focus on bolded sections to skim for the subject of every bullet point. I’m way too wordy, but I just want to be informative. I’m not actually very strict or demanding!

How I Play:

I am semi-private and semi-selective. What this means is that mutuals (meaning people who follow me and I follow back) are free to interact with me IC in asks or by tagging me in posts or by responding to my starters, and they are also free to DM me or send me any kind of ask OOC or tag me in posts they relate to me (so unless there’s some loophole I’m not thinking of, it’s basically ‘anything goes’ with mutuals). Plotting is cool; talking about things other than RP is also probably cool (though I can be a little shy with new people sometimes, forgive me). People who I do not follow back (aka non-mutuals) are still totally free to follow me. They can send in asks about/to my muse either IC or OOC or ask about my thoughts on YTTD-topics, but I am probably uncomfortable speaking OOC in DMs about RP or doing any kind of plotting. Non-mutuals can also send in starter memes, but they would be one-off types of interactions (meaning no growing relationship) and might not be continued very far in a thread. Feel free to message me with questions if this description isn’t making sense to you.

I may not follow back for myriad reasons all regarding my personal preferences (characterization choices, writing style/ability, frustrating blog layout, missing rules/info, etc). Please do not take this personally. If this happens, you are still welcome to initiate interaction with me in any way, IC or OOC! Also, if I do follow back, I definitely want to RP with you!

I will likely unfollow and decline to interact if you have too much OOC drama / anti behavior / fandom hate / bullying / callouts / discourse / politics / worldview on your blog. Huge pet peeves of mine. I repeat, I do not support callout culture.

I am open to the possibility of interacting with duplicates of my muse. I will automatically assume one of them is an AI or doll, but whatever the case, we should probably talk about how to go about this.

I am up-to-date on the game. This blog is not spoiler free. That being said, it might be wise to communicate when in the timeline our muses are interacting.

I have depression as well as performance/social anxiety. My moods and levels of inspiration/motivation vary widely. I know that is inconvenient, sorry! So in general, I don’t push myself to be prolific, and can drop threads or be slow at responding.

I may drop a thread due to general anxiety (not necessarily related to the thread), lack of ideas, or loss of inspiration, my deepest apologies. Don’t feel bad and DO feel free to continue interactions with my muse in the future!

I operate my muse based on what I feel is in his character to do at that moment. Sometimes that makes planning difficult, because he may not respond to a circumstance in a way I anticipated. Sorry if things do not go as planned. But I do also love plotting and overthinking things, hah.

I am willing to play dark scenes including gore/violence, angst, horror, abuse, torture, my character’s death, etc., and there will be disturbing or mature content like that on this blog. I’m new to this fandom, so I’m not exactly sure how much content warning tags are really necessary, considering I presume everybody played this brutal game. However, any content warnings I decide to give will be noted with the tag “cw:” followed by the label.

I am open to the possibility of shipping everybody from high school and up. If you disagree with or object to this decision, please just unfollow/block/move on. I’m too tired.

I choose to write sexual scenes. I reserve the right to portray anything from healthy, fluffy relationships/scenes to dark, toxic, or abusive relationships/scenes. I don’t condone abuse or toxicity in real life. I respect the grave nature of such behaviors, but that will not prevent me from writing said subjects with this understanding of reality in mind. However, I respect those who do not want to see or roleplay sex, will never push said people to do so, and will keep explicit sexual content under a ‘read more’, tagged “smut”. I expect to be treated with similar respect for my choice in written subject matter.

I only roleplay smut with muns who are above the age of consent. I am uncomfortable doing so with underage individuals, so please do not attempt if you are under age 18.

What I Appreciate:

Let me know if something I’m doing in a thread with you is making you uncomfortable. I myself am comfortable with exploring some very dark themes. I will do my part to check your blog rules, and I apologize if I am ever forgetful about anything mentioned.

Please try to refrain from controlling my muse’s thoughts and actions (unless that is actually within the capabilities of your muse; ask me).

Please try to remember to start a new post instead of reblogging an ask post over and over.

I would be so grateful if multimuse blogs could tag the muse they are using in their posts. This helps me filter out the inevitable multitude posts on my dash that will not be relevant to my muse or even fandom and keeps it from becoming absolute chaos. Obviously it’s your blog, and I’m not here to tell you what to do, but this prevention of inconvenience will make me somewhat more likely to follow you.

Please do not steal my original (detailed) headcanons or icons or use images in posts tagged “My Edits” without my permission. If you’re not sure, ask me; I promise I won’t bite for such a question.

What Is Acceptable:

Mutuals always feel free to send me an ask, IM, or communicate in our RP thread if you have something to say or ask. Or if you just have a random comment! Seriously, anything.

Non-mutuals, honestly, if you’re not sure whether or not it is acceptable to interact with me in a certain way, and you try to interact with good or neutral intentions, I’m not going to be hostile or scary. If I’m not interested, I might not respond due to social awkwardness. Know that if this happens, I don’t want you to have hurt feelings; I appreciate your willingness to have wanted to interact with me.

It never hurts to follow me to see if I am interested in following back! At the very least, I am flattered for being considered.

If it seems like I’ve forgotten about a thread or neglected to respond and you really want to continue it, feel free to message me to remind/ask about it.

Let me know if there is something you want tagged, and I will try to accommodate with what I see as reasonable.

I am 100% cool with us engaging in more than one thread at once. Do it!

All starter/ask memes/prompts on my blog are open all the time, no matter how old. Feel free to browse the tag and send in something you like! I would only request that you try to include the title of the post/collection in your ask so I can find it more easily.

I accept some OCs and characters from other fandoms but can be picky about them. It would be nice to be able to find some background info on them on your blog. For characters from other fandoms, I will be much more likely to follow if they have a YTTD verse included in their description, but you can pitch me a different proposition if you have one. Try not to take it personally if it turns out I’m not interested in following.

I am sometimes okay with roleplaying total AUs (as in, a completely different setting), but it is not my default preference. The best way to go about seeing if I’m interested would probably be to message me.

As this is also just a general purpose Sou fan blog, all types of blogs (aside from spam/porn and antis) are free to follow, like my posts, and reblog non-RP-related posts.

Thanks a bunch for slogging through this!

#info #rules #OOC #long post

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shattered-catalyst · 5 years

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So this isnt for anything other than just to say what happened just so I feel heard and I can explain why I cant be as energetic and socially active on here. Its not a callout post or to be reblogged/shared by people. Its not to get anyone in trouble or to cause any reaction. It’s just for me to let it out and reclaim this space again. Its been a year since it happened and I guess I’m just still noticing how badly it has impacted my PTSD. How much its changed me as a person both online and off, and this isnt a woe as me thing either this is just me feeling a need to be heard and explain my own behavior over the year and also to make one simple request of you guys: no matter what you do, always treat your rp partners as people first and writers second.

Because I feel myself becoming bitter and that isnt who I am and I dont want to be someone like that. Or like this. I want to be me again

The person who did this wont be named mainly because they dont deserve it and yall dont need to know. Their behavior when I confronted them more than cements the impression that they dont see any harm in what they said and how they reacted. And again this isnt about them though In A Way I suppose it is? it takes two to tango but it takes one to encourage someone to kill themselves.

This is going to be long because I need to inform on the activity that lead up to this because it didnt just happen over night- though in a way it did. But you need a better picture of this person because apparently they present a really great face that only a few of us see the manipulative and toxic side of.

This person was always very judgemental and hyper critical. I witnessed a lot of very negative and toxic behavior from them but I was naive and just hoped they would mature as they grew older and gained more independence. I thought it was just a toxic friend group and that perhaps she would recognize her self destructive and immature behavior and grow from it.

My first red flag should have been when they accused me of being their ex girlfriend SOLELY because I was living in PA. I hate to break it to yall, but PA is a big ass state and has a lot of comic book loving ladies. Thankfully I have never met this person IRL and I hope I never do.

They tried to pull me into making fun of other muns on discord, including mocking sensitive pictures from a mun’s personal blog. I blatantly said it wasnt okay and made me uncomfortable and she continued laughing and making jokes about it with her friend group on discord. She kept trying to pull me into it no matter how often I tried to change the subject.

Her group of friends also did this thing where one of them would go interact with a mun an they would take screenshots of the convo and share it with the group and mock the mun they were interacting with. Whether it be their presentation of character/grahics/writing style/ etc.

The other red flags I ignored? How much she complained and mocked other muns and compared them to me; if anyone did anything or said anything she disagreed with it was an instant blow up. She took EVERYTHING personally including other people writing the same characters she did, having differing headcanons, not knowng obscure details about canon, etc.

She once tried to make fun of a new writing partner I had who was writing the same character, and I had to break it to her that this new person could write in her first language if she wanted to; im being very vague but let me just say if you and your character have the same first language and you want to write in it then its completely WRONG for a white mun to try and make fun of you for it.

She once suggested I had stolen pictures off her pinterest when she sent me a moodboard request for my character. Jokes on her I didnt even know she HAD a pinterest and I had gotten all my pictures from the ‘green aesthetic’ tag on tumblr. Which I told her but she kept pushing the idea on me I had stolen them. I of course dismissed this and put it on the back burner despite the alarm bells going off.

This hyper critical and paranoid behavior continues with everything from other canon blogs making similar head canons/ vaguely similar graphics/ to fanfiction authors having similar head canons/plot ideas.

My penname Citrus? I didnt want one. I didnt want it. She demanded I have a pen name and if not she was going to call me Cat. Now as yall know I dont like being enmeshed with my muse so I keep myself separate from them. I didnt like being called Cat and I told her that explicitly. She kept doing it. So I had to make a pen name because she refused to respect my boundaries.

When the Deadpool movie came out she DEMANDED I change my FC to reflect the movie Despite Not Changing Hers to reflect her own characters new look - which might i add is fat erasure. It was clear then that the rules and standards she held other people to didnt apply to herself. I was labeled problematic for not giving into her demands to change FCs (which I have a literal logical reason for not changing and im not explaining that here)

So I shouldve left. Long story short I didnt because every friendship I’d been in until around this time had been abusive and toxic. I thought this was all normal behavior for people to have and I was convinced I was just being critical of someone elses opinions/ insensitive etc. Thanks to my colleagues in graduate school and to several of you on here I learned that ‘hey dumbass friends dont treat your ass like this’.

Im leaving a lot out about the shit she did/said to me but those snippets give you an idea of things.

Leading up she decided to leave fandom and asked we didnt talk about marvel I said cool okay and didnt talk about marvel with her. If I did I would ask first if she was okay if we talked about one small aspect I thought might excite her/ she would like to know about but it wasnt often that happened because she began ghosting me. Hard. She stopped replying to me at all over discord when I would try and talk to her how we used to about our lives. She didnt answer any asks for munday or character development, in fact she blatantly ignored me.

I checked in a couple times with her to make sure I hadnt done anything to make her uncomfortable and she said no. May I emphasize she said no here. Im emphasizing it right now. She said no. She said everything was fine. So when I was like hey dude this is super triggering for me can you send me like a hi every once in awhile just so I can know we’re okay because its super triggering for me. Yall know what she did? She ‘lmao’-ed. she thought that was hecka funny. Yeah triggering ‘Citrus’ is hilarious isnt it? No it isnt and I shouldve cut her ass off right then and there.

Heres where shit gets confusing: she kept fucking talking about marvel to me. Id get messages at random times about marvel and then silence for weeks. I vividly remember during this period I was cleaning the museum vault and she kept messaging me about her marvel fc’s and how she wouldnt get a plotline and how characters were wrong etc.

I remember being REALLY confused because she had said NO MARVEL. But here she was bitching at me about marvel. In fact thats all she did when she did talk to me. Which was only like three or four times during the ghosting time period. She’d bitch about marvel and then vanish.

Shed make claims about not watching her dash and thats why she never responded to me/ interacted with me. She’d say she wasnt talkng to anyone while I see her on the dash TALKING TO PEOPLE and Id like to point out Ive told her I would be fine ending anything as long as she let me know.

but she followed me on every blog and throughout this time period she made and followed me on numerous ones. She kept reaching out sporadically to bitch about her fcs/how horrible marvel was/ and thats it.

It was extremely confusing because if someone doesnt want to talk to me I assume they will; 1. unfollow 2. block 3. say goodbye 4. ghost and stay ghosted.

Not cycle through behavior rapidly. I asked her a few times if we were good and that I was confused and I got another ‘lmao’ reaction so I assumed we were good. At this point I still have no idea what was going on/ what message I was supposed to be receiving other than confusion.

So following this is heavily suicide tw and I encourage you not to read this part and to scroll down until the suicide tw is over which is highlighted in bold- if you’re triggered by that because I care about those who follow my blog.

So thats when this shit happened. I had tried reaching out to her on a different fandom platform to try and maintain the friendship. Because she said numerous times that we were friends. So like I reached out thinking maybe she just didnt want a marvel blog period. It wasnt too long after that that she suicide baited me.

I was in a really bad place and had been for awhile and when I posted about how the only thing holding me on was the new comic coming out and specifically said “im seriously suicidal and this comic is the only thing giving me hope #idk what to do anymore ”. I was surprised when she liked the post.

I was three steps into a four step plan. I had everything but the method planned out and was just waffling along with that. Because yknow its complicated and you do it you make it count amiright. Right. I was in a fucked up place. I had just realized I was gay, I was horrendously depressed, I was in considerable physical pain, I was working 70 hours a week, my OCD was at an all time high and the only thing that kept me on this earth was a fucking comic book. You hold onto what you need to yknow?

WELL APPARENTLY NOT

Because this person who doesnt read her dash? This person who doesnt want to talk about anything? Liked that post where I specifically stated I was suicidal and sent me a discord message saying “dont have hope”.

Thats all it said “dont have hope”

Now I know what youre thinking but hold on because it gets worse.

I said something about being confused I dont really remember because I was pretty out of it. I do remember she kept going on about how horrible the comic would be and that it would be a piece of trash. I remember telling her I was really numb and in a bad place and couldnt feel anything. I remember her sending me screencaps and continuing to go ON AND ON about how it wasn’t worth reading.

I remember with gross intensity how someone who said they were my friend was taking away the only thing that was keeping me alive.

I dont remember how the conversation ends. I called out of work for the next three days. I was catatonically depressed and unable to really move. I didnt eat either. I went to internship, work, and school in a state of dissociation.

I took screencaps of everything and set them aside for later. IDK what I was going to use them for but I set them in a folder on my desktop, looking back I regret what I did next; because I deleted them. I deleted them because I thought maybe she had been manic or drunk and hadn’t realized the scope of what was happening. I wanted to talk to her about it and clear things up because I believed in her. I believed there was no way she would be so callous as to do that on purpose. No way would someone try and get someone they called a friend to kill themselves. So I deleted the screencaps and my post on tumblr. I deleted all evidence to protect her and I encourage you all never to fucking do that even if you think that person misunderstood the gravity of your situation. Because if you’re wrong no ones going to believe you.

I remember shifting between intense depression and total denial.

I spent the rest of that month in and out of intense dissociative states when I wasnt in class or working with my clients. During the middle of October my sister sent me pictures of a litter of puppies and I was like ‘well, i really need to either kill myself or make sure i dont’. I spent a few days continuing to waffle with that decision but then i remembered my mom cosigned my loans and I cant leave her with that debt because fuck we cant even afford my funeral to begin with. So I adopted a dog, I named him Julio to remind me to keep living and he finally came to me on halloween.

He was the only reason I left bed on my days off. I tried not to think about it but I did.

I continued to spiral with heavier dissociative episodes and vivid nightmares about it.

SUICIDE TW OVER

I waited until Christmas to ask her to clarify the situation and let her know I no longer felt comfortable writing with her. I reminded her what happened and told her to check her discord if she wanted to see for herself etc.

She sent two long asks of combative, emotionally abusive, and gaslighting accusations. The first thing she did was say I needed to provide evidence if I went around making accusations like that. Then she cascaded into how I always talked about marvel *points up to where i explained what happened earlier*. She tried gaslighting me like a champion and tried turning me into a horrible person the only problem is everything she was accusing me of doing was the shit she was doing to me. Everything.

Even if I was bad at any time I had given her numerous chances to tell me I was overstepping a boundary- she always said no. I gave her numerous times to unfollow me if she wasnt interested in interacting with me- she never did. In fact I had unfollowed her that month because of her behavior towards me and she hadnt even noticed.

I let her know I could tell she was angry, and that I didnt take receipts of private conversations because I believed in settling things like adults, and that if she ever wanted any proof it was all in her discord anyway. I let her know she could contact me to apologize but otherwise I didnt want her on any of my blogs and I told her the first thing she should have done wasnt demand receipts but she should have asked if I was okay. Its a real reflection of where her priorities were when she demands evidence rather than checks to see if a writing partner is okay.

Even if I did something horrible it doesnt warrant someone trying to get me to end my life.

I was notified she put a post on her blog apologizing to her followers for being a bad friend and that she was a horrible person and ofc everyone was like ‘noooo youre perfect’ and its like ya thats not for me who hasnt followed her in months- thats to save face.

Her friends blogs kept visiting my profile and going through the month where this happened.

Everything she did and said was to save face. Her blog and her reputation are the only thing she cared about. She has never approached me to apologize or anything of the sort and I doubt she ever will. I would hope she would never do this again and I hope she has grown as a person since. That her life is better and her mother is okay, that shes happy and learning.

I know by posting this I will never receive an apology- then again i never expected one to begin with. I could go through all the trouble of restoring the deleted files but to be honest it isnt worth it because theres no room in my life for that type of toxicity.

Since this happened I:

I have stronger episodes of depression and dissociation since.

My PTSD has increased and I have week long spikes in anxiety attacks, depression and decreased self worth if I even see her around the rpc despite being blocked, blacklisted on xkit etc.

Have more difficulty completing basic self care tasks due to an increase in depression and a decrease in self worth.

I have nightmares about this event and her to this day a year later.

I cannot interact with the RPC how I once did as I fear seeing her on my dash or any sort of information getting back to her about me.

It took me half a year to see the character she wrote as as safe again and for awhile I couldnt even look at him without experiencing an anxiety attack.

I keep having nightmares. Its been a year and I still have nightmares about this.

I find myself having more difficulties connecting with people online especially on this blog. I’m constantly on edge when interacting with people and I feel spikes of anxiety at the merest thought of someone talking about me to her.

I find myself unable to have confidence as a writer or creator online because I have been reminder of the cement wall between oc characters and their canon counterparts.

I cannot go out and just follow anyone and be friendly and trusting with them anymore, even with people I already know. In the back of my mind is a constant reminder of how she and her friends used to check up on people and pretend to write with them/ interact with them just to take screenshots of conversations to share with the group. I have become a paranoid little bitch in the past year is what Im saying. like theres 0 need for that shit.

I blocked most of the people she interacted with simply to save myself from being triggered by her blogs/ mentions of her and that isnt fair to those people.

I remember the photo incident and how people derived such joy from mocking someones body. I can think of so many incidents of them making fun of others and I remember how that could be happening about me rn, and I wonder if anyone would stick up for me like I did for the other mun.

I hope by posting this I can try and return to the person I was before this happened. I can try and not be so bitter and reach out again to others. That somehow I can continue working on making tumblr a safe place for me again and not a PTSD laced minefield.

I would like to remind this isnt a callout and I request if you know who this is about you dont say anything to them. This isnt for them. They have NEVER reached out to apologize for their actions. They have NEVER checked to see if I was okay after that. They have NEVER shown any remorse for encouraging me to kill myself and while I hope they’ve grown from the situation and will never do it again I doubt I will ever get closure from such an event. But i DO hope by writing this I can take this place back.

Consider this my first step towards bringing this up to a therapist.

Consider this another step to me taking this blog back and feeling safer here; and maybe just maybe Ill make up a cool pen name for myself and own that shit.

If you’ve read this far thank you for your patience with me, and I request you always treat your writing partners like the people that they are.

This post is not intended or written to leave this blog and therefore I request you not reblog it or share segments of it with ANYONE. If I find you have shared anything on here without my explicit permission I will block you.

‘Citrus’

#suicide tw #gaslighting tw #emotional abuse tw

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my-special-place-in-hell · 3 years

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Surprise, even paying others to say "death to all jews" """""ironically""""" still means he's antisemitic. Especially since he has multiple instances of Nazi jokes and even was like "Watch this video by this other YouTube I really liked it!" And the video itself he recommended was super antisemitic. Anyways, don't know why you're defending a racist alt-right millionaire but brain rot can really affect anyone I guess 😔

I guess we have to agree to disagree. If you think a single word, sentence or action is enough to judge the character of a whole ass person whos lived a whole ass life that you know nothing about then I feel very sorry for you.

Think about the worst thing you have said and/or done. Like, ever. Imagine now that you are forever defined by it. Thats who you are. That horrible, disgusting thing. Everyone will know you by that now, sorry, no takebacks, no apologies, you should’ve known better. No point in trying to do better, cuz honestly that thing is the WORST and you will not be forgiven.

#why do you insist on putting labels on strangers?#and sending hate to random people who disagree with those labels #like ??#live your life leave me alone ?

0 notes

medea10 · 5 years

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Medea Rambles - Vic Mignogna

Fuck.

I know I’m going to regret writing this and WILL end up with backlash no matter what side I choose in the matter. So this post is the equivalency of shooting myself in the foot. No matter.

I just feel like saying something. Free speech and all that mess.

If you’re unaware of who this man is with the funny sounding last name, this man is named Vic Mignogna. For years he’s been well-known in the anime community as a very prominent voice actor. Many fans (myself included) was introduced to him when watching the English dub to Full Metal Alchemist where he plays pint-sized alchemist Edward Elric. And from then on, fell in love with his voice.

Well, I mean he was okay. Vic wasn’t really my favorite voice actor, but he was still very good. I always loved his voice in Full Metal Alchemist, Soul Eater, and Ouran High School Host Club. But others are absolute, can’t breathe without him, ride-or-die fans of Vic Mignogna and his work in anime, video games, and the Star Trek videos he does with his buddy Todd Haberkorn. In years past, he would always be seen as one of the best English voice actors of all time.

In the past ten years, I’ve seen Vic get some pretty harsh criticism from all across the board. First of all, he was seen as a homophobic. Then there were those who were SICK of hearing his voice everywhere in the anime world. Then they started attacking his Christianity. And other things like he’s mean to people around him, he’s an arrogant so-and-so, he won’t sign this thing I gave him so he’s a buttbag for life, he’s an Anti-Semite, he’s the devil, and so on and so forth. I truly felt sorry for him in some aspects. While I disagree with much of his stances on certain subjects and the homophobia thing was kind of a big driving point for me to dislike him, I wasn’t going to boycott animes that have his voice in it and call him Fuckface McFuck. But despite all that, his loyal fans would stand by his side.

But I think people started to warm up a little to him again a few years back when he attended an anime convention as a guest and got into a shouting match with some random bible-thumper. No matter what anime convention you go to, 9 times out of 10 there will always be some FuckCock holding a bible telling all of us we are going to Hell. And Vic stood up and said that is bullshit. Yeah, that was one moment where I was happy with Vic and proud that someone was ballsy enough to shutdown random Joe Jesus Jr. on the street.

I really wish I could have had the chance to meet him at a con. There was so much for him to sign for me. But alas, he never did make it to the Bay Area (excluding Sacramento, I refuse to travel all the way up there). Because after this next part, I don’t think we’ll ever be hearing from Vic again.

In January 2019, the anime community learned of several sexual harassment and assault charges filed against Vic Mignogna. Many of these claims go back to 2008 (maybe further). More here. Yeah, the #MeToo movement has nailed a lot of sexual offenders. From Hollywood elites like Harvey Weinstein, to political figures like *too many to fucking count*, to people in the sports world like Larry Nassar. In the wake of this movement, many victims felt it was time to step out of the darkness and tell the world their story.

First of all, everyone is different. Not everyone who’s been assaulted is going to go straight to the police. Some hide this shame for years, decades, so on. When someone is sexually assaulted, a lot of things go through their minds. And the biggest thing is FEAR. Fear of what the assaulter will do if you speak up. Fear of the consequences of speaking out. Fear of what the assaulter will do next. Fear of someone else falling victim to the assaulter. Fear of losing your career. And so on. Many of us choose to stay quiet for fear of no one believing us. Many of us choose to stay quiet for fear of being labeled as a slut or being in the wrong and that we should know better.

But I feel like the wake of the #MeToo movement has encouraged victims to come forward. Especially if their assaulter is someone in a position of power and want to make sure that no one else suffers the way they did. And I’m sure Vic Mignogna’s victims felt the same way. Even though he’s a voice actor and goes to conventions. However with his popularity, it can be VERY intimidating coming out with anything of the sort.

From the looks of many of these accounts, they definitely feel ewwie due to the fact that many of them were underage. And from what I’ve seen so far is about the same level as what Al Franken did. Could there be other victims? Possibly. Could there be worse stories out there that go beyond the too-close-for-comfort kiss/hug? Possibly. And we probably will never know.

Many of Vic’s colleagues have had mixed feelings. Some have come to the defense of Vic and some have taken the side of the victims. And one even came out with her own experience with Vic. More here. As for the fans.

IT. IS. FUCKING. HELL.

I’ve seen it all in the last three weeks all over the internet. And quite frankly, it’s starting to remind me of the stupid crap that happened when R. Kelly was in trouble in the early 2000s (before what we know now). It’s either #KickVic or #IStandWithVic. If you stand with Vic, people see you as a rapist-enabling cunt and if you hate Vic, you’re seen as a lib-tard, SJW, crybaby, snowflake. I’m quite sick of seeing this getting to the magnitude it’s getting to.

The actions of Vic, again, to me they don’t seem that big. However, I’m looking at it through someone who is in her early 30′s. If I was a teenager meeting him for the first time and having him give me unwanted and unprovoked hugs and kisses, I might feel something different. Especially since this is a complete stranger. The story that was shared by Jamie Marchi however makes me think that, yeah Vic did some shady shit. But that’s just what I think.

But the fans are getting out of hand. Voice actors are being harassed for even talking about this. Victims are getting death threats. And that’s another thing I would like to go off on! Why would you do that to someone who’s clearly been through a lot? Why would you send someone who came out after years of suppressing an ugly moment in their lives a fucking death threat? What did they ever do to you personally? NOTHING. They just exposed someone who isn’t even related to you and have no connection to at all after something that felt uncomfortable to them. People like you are the reason Dr. Ford STILL TO THIS DAY can’t even go back home. So knock it off!

When other voice actors in the anime community wound up in extreme trouble, fans were not shy about dumping them like rotten potatoes. The names Scott Freeman and Illich Guardiola come to mind. Then again, both of these guys did stuff far worse than Vic, so I’ll leave it at that.

As of today (February 11th, 2019), FUNimation released a statement via Twitter stating that they have no plans to use Vic in future productions. Yeah, I’m sad on one fact. I’m sad that if any of the shows he was very prominent in, he won’t be there. Which makes me wonder what’s going to happen when Free! returns in 2020. I don’t know, maybe they can get Bryce Papenbrook to play Rin. But I digress. This was a man with a lot of talent and revered as one of the greatest voice actors of all time.

BUT THAT’S STILL NO EXCUSE! People like Vic think they can get away with anything or are invincible because of the status and power they carry. And people like that make me sick. And currently watching that in our political system and real life is just more nauseating. That’s why anime is my one outlet away from shit like this. And then Vic Mignogna reared his head in. While I am skeptical about some of the victim claims, I cannot in good conscience defend Vic.

I’m glad FUNimation isn’t shying away from this and taking the effort to cut ties from Vic. The company does have to consider the safety of the other employees that work there. I will always remember him for roles he’s done in the past (and God help the community if we ever get an Ouran sequel). And that one time fighting that one bible-thumper prick! But that’s it. I can’t support this man’s innocence. Nope. Not gonna happen.

That’s all I feel like saying.

Splash on the Hate-o-rade in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

#Vic Mignogna

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wow-very-emo-such-bands · 6 years

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Reason why i do not like K-Pop

I know already, as i am currently writing this, that no matter what, a lot of K-Pop fans, Saesengs and lovers of Kpop in general will critizes and hate me for this, and i will definitly lose a bunch of followers, whether they actually read this post or not.

But for those of you who decide to stay and hear me out, thanks alot.

Now first of all it‘s mostly cuz the music genre is simply not for me. By that I don‘t referr to the fact that the songs are in korean, so everyone who is about to call me a racist for not liking K-Pop songs, can sit down again. Cuz really i couldn‘t care less about in what language the songs are in. My problem isn‘t the language in which the lyrics are written, but their meaning once you translate them. Most of the lyrics are meaningless, bland and repetative. Most of the K-pop songs i’ve kinda enjoyed due to a catchy melody, every time i went to look up a translation on the internet it turned out that the song was always just about vanity, needing to be the best or it was a love song even cheesier than early Beatles songs, and the Beatles used the word love 613 times. So that’s saying quiet alot in my opinion. Basically K-pop is in that case identical to western pop songs: Whenyou‘ve heard one, you‘ve basically heard them all.

But in the end everyone is entitled to love the kind of music and lyrical nonsense they want to.

But anyway up to the second reason why I will most likely never get into K-Pop is the toxicity of the fandom. I know this has been discussed and talked about a million times by now that i am basically just beating a dead horse, and altho the major toxic part of the fandom is mearly a vocal minority, it‘s unfortunatly avocal minority equipped with megaphones.

From Shipping Wars and the infamous Fandom wars between EXO and BTS to straight up trying to murder an idol, the K-Pop fandom really had seen it all.

Because there is so much to material and incidents i could cover about this point, i will try to keep it only 6 examples in order to show you what I‘m saying.

The major reason’s and incidents about the EXO vs BTS Fandom War: •The Exo-L‘s (the EXO fanbase) tried to accuse BTS falsely of plagerism, crushing their success just because they were afraid that BTS would gain more popularity than EXO after the release of BTS‘s latest album and the EXO-L‘s even going as far as making the A.R.M.Y (the BTS fandom) look bad by creating fake A.R.M.Y accounts and behaving utterly obnoxious, to make the oublic believe every BTS fan behaves like a moron to say the very least. •Actual A.R.M.Y members sending hate, immature insults and even death treaths to people who like EXO or other K-Pop or even western Bands more than BTS, regardless of wether they said bad stuff against BTS or simply didn‘t enjoy the music cuz it wasn‘t their cup of tea.

the A.R.M.Y attacking the group Stray Kids (a K-Pop band that didn‘t even had it‘s debut at the time) and accusing of plagerism and trying to sabotage them for minor similarities in the trailer to one of their songs to BTS.

Saesang fans, harassing, stalking their idols to their home, one even stealing some of their urine from the toilet and trying to sell it on ebay, another one writing a letter to one of their idols with their menstruation blood and all around behaving like their idols/bias/oppa belongs to them. I experienced the latter one actually first hand with a Koreaboo friend of mine nearly beating another girl up for dearing to like "their bias“ and talking about how "she was totally going to marry him one day“. And i‘m unfortunatly not talking about the ones who say those things as a joke. Now i know that certain Stans of western bands harass their idols too, for example Brendon Urie from Panic! At the disco didn‘t feel safe anymore in his old house after dozen of fans stalked him in his own home, yet no bandom that i know about, has fans as obsessive as the K-Pop Saseng and Koreaboo fans

Anti-fans, now this is like the polar opposite of the Saesang and Koreboo fans. While the ones are so obsessed with an idol that they won‘t stop at anything to be near them, Anti-Fans hate a certain idol so much that they won‘t stop at anything to get rid of said idol. For example did those anti fans scream racisl slurrs at some K-Pop idols for example if they had chinese or japanese ancestors or if one of their parents wasn’t korean or asian. There was also an incident where a dozen of people signed a petition to force an idol into suicide, others even tried to straight up murder some Idols by putting dangerous poison in their food or planning on bringing shotguns and other weapons to their concerts in order to kill them with them, posting their plans on social media like twitter and getting cheered on and supported by other antis. Some of these so called Anti fans even cheered and had basically an online party after Kim Jong-Hyun, a member of SHINee, comitted suicide last year and made fun of both the idols himself and his fans

Cultural apropiation is unfortunatly quiet the problem in, mostly the wester part of the K-Pop fandom. People posting videos, pictures and text posts showing how they eat traditional Korean dishes like Kimshi or just simply eat noodles out of a bowl (sometimes still while using a fork) and than say how korean they are or how they brag about being able to speak fluent korean when they can mostly say 3 words. Most of those people are caucasian teenage girls who think from speaking a few words and knowing one or two things about korea, imidiatly makes them Asian and Korean when they still have the legal nationality of a western country and are caucasian. Your ethnicity is not something you can change like a hairstyle. It‘s part of your DNA and is unfortunatly a part of you that you are stuck with forever. Just like the Weaboos in the Anime comunity, Koreaboos are simply people who need to feel special and superior to others by behaving like they know more about korea than anyone else when in reality all their knowledge about Korea is based on cheesy K-Pop songs that a lot of times weren‘t even written by korean people, but more about that later

6. This one is more of a personal experience which is basically the reason why i don‘t ever want explore or even becom part of the K-Pop fandom. Basically i have this BTS fangirl in my Arts and Crafts Classes and one day while we were working on our projects, she started ralking to me and asked me random questions about K-Pop bands, both BTS and Bands that I have never even heard off. She asked stuff like : "Who is your bias? Don‘t you agree that Rapmonster looks so hot! Korean boys are way hotter than white boys! Why are you dating a white boy? Like I would never date a white guy. What do you think of this ship and that ship? Don‘t tell me you ship that other one???“ and i explained to her calmly that i‘m not a K-Pop fan and simply do not care for it, cuz it‘s not my cup of tea. Than she started going absolutly crazy, calling me a racist even tho i explained to her that my problem with K-Pop is the meaning of the lyrics and most of the melodies and rythms, not the fact that it‘s from Asia, but she refused to listen and started telling everyone in our class i was a homophobic (note: I am actually bisexual) racist and that i triggered her. And besides the obvious fact that triggering someone doesn‘t mean that you disagree with somebody else, i guess i don‘t have to do further explaination.

Thirdly ,and I know I will definitly get hate for this, K-Pop artists in my opinion got their fame basically like a present, they didn‘t work for it like other bands and artists have to. Most Western bands, like Twenty one Pilots, All Time Low and even the Beatles started off as nobodies. They started off as small garage bands, often with an audience of only a few people before getting discovered bypure chance and signed by a record label and even then they mostly had to work for their fame themselves. Twenty one pilots was signed to a record label in 2012, they had already produced 2 albums (Self titled and Regional at best) in Tyler‘s basement before that even happened and even after Fueled by Ramen signed them because they recognized their talent but didn‘t really push them much. It took until 2015 (the band exists since 2009) that they hit mainstream popularity with their Album Blurryface. Tyler Joseph, the front man of Twenty one pilots, wrote all the lyrics and melodies by himself for that album. The Beatles started off as the little unkown band, playing in the cave bar (a pub in liverpool) and had already written some of their most well known songs like she loves you and Roll over Beethoven at the time. They were about to give up on their dreams of ever becoming famous before Brian Eppstein discovered them after years of already having played in that Pub and signed them to their label. And even then it wasn’t the record itself ehich made the Beatles famous, but their talents and those world famous lyrics written by them once again on their owny K-Pop Idols do not have to work themselves up to the top through hard work and dedication with little to know knowledge about wether or not their dream will ever come trough. They simply go to an Agency which after 2 years of training, makes them famous. Though i can‘t say that most K-Pop idols are talentless when it comes to their voices and dance moves, it still doesn‘t change the fact that they get fame as a gift from their record labels while Idols from other countries (i‘m not just talking about western bands) have to climb the steps to the top themselves. K-Pop idols get put in an elevator by their record label which transports them to the top. And most of all K-Pop idols don‘t write any of the lyrics of their songs by themselves themselves, which in defence of the K-Pop Idols, isn‘t really their fault, yet still pretty unfair towards foreign bands in my opinion.

And my last and most of all biggest reason why i do not like and support K-Pop is because of the K-Pop industry.

I know the western music industry isn‘t made out of honey, rainbows and butterflies either but compared to what the K-Pop Industry does to its idols should be illegal since they basically take away all of the idols‘s human rights, treating them more as products which can be sold like Coca Cola, rather than actual human beings; Which is also why some people refer to the contract between an idol and its label to a "slavery contract“ because once that contract is signed, the label literally owns the idol. Let’s start with the minor examples to the bigger issues to begin with:

Most if not all K-Pop labels forbid their idols to fall in love with someone, so that the fans fantasies of being together with their Idols won‘t be crushed. There was even a case in which a female K-Pop idol had to shave off all of her hair and give a public apology for spending the night with her boyfriend.

Unlike idols in western countries, who, after becoming rather famous, earn like a million dollars and can live in a big luxerious mansion, K-pop idols usually only get a very little to basically no money from their record label, even members of some of the most successful K-Pop bands are as broke as a bunch of college students, their money often just being enough so the whole band can share one meal and the idols are also often forced by their record label to live together in small cramped appartments, as near to their record label as possible so that record label can control them even better. So just imagine for a moment having to live with up to 6 to 12 people in a small 1-3 room appartent after having spent all day working and training with said people. I guess i don‘t have to say that this could lead to severe stress, mental health problems and even tensions between the bandmembers.

The record label takes away all of the Idols individuality and creativity and the right to express themselves. Like mentioned before, the majority of K-Pop idols don‘t write their songs by themselves. And most of the time it‘s not even because of them having no ideas or being uninspired but instead it‘s once again the K-Pop industrie, forbidding it to them. So instead of letting the idols creat their own original music, most of their songs are being written by Martin Sandberg, mostly known as Max Martin, a swedish song writer who writes most of the modern Pop songs, both in korea and western countries, that we know today. He is the composer of Hit me baby one more time and i kissed a girl and so many more. And him also being one of the major writers for K-Pop songs just shows how and why just like for western pop music, the rule "once you‘ve heard one, you‘ve heard them all“ also applies to K-pop unfortunatly.

Anorexia and beauty surgery. The K-Pop industrie wants everything and really everything to be perfect about their products- i mean idols. So in most cases they highly recommand if not even force the idols to get a plastic surgery, often around the nose, and even undergoing the so called V-Line operation in order to obtain a face like an anime doll, by first breaking the jaw completly and then reassembling it and given the fact that the V-Line operation is a very risky procedure and usually is done in case that teethlines are misarebged and need to be corrected and not in order to become more beautiful. K-Pop idols are also forced to be as thin as possible, to the point where it‘s almost anorexic. Most of them eat only one meal a day or only eat raw food like fruits and vegetables in order to stay thin. Others like the boygroup TVXQ who the week before their debut, only consumed water and nothing else. So if anyone wants to tell me that the diets that the industry is forcing on their idols is healthy, than i have to tell them that they are just utterly dilusional and nothing else.

Some companies and labels even forbid their idols in their contract to see their friends and families for years, isolating and keeping them trapped almost enterily so the only people they can talk to are the people working for their label and the other members of their group.

Prostitution. Yes you’ve heard me right. The record labels literally force their idols to straight up prostitution. Luckily just like in Hollywood with the #Metoo movement, korean people start to do something against this problem in the K-Pop industrie, but it‘s unfortunatly still heavily present.

I mentioned before that before K-Pop stars even start their debut as a band they have to train for about 2 years, and even after their debut and even after becoming famous their record label forces them to train and practice every day. Now first this sound that wierd right? Cuz foreign idols have to do that too. But oh boy does the K-Pop industrie take this to a whole new level. Because of them K-Pop idols often have to train to the point where they literally faint from exhaustion. An average work day for K-Pop stars lasts +/- 20 hours each day. Many of them needed to be taken to the hospital from over exhaustion to the point where it‘s almost seen as normal. A K-Pop idol by the name of Crystall even is forced to work so hard and faints so often even on stage from exhaustion that it‘s becoe their trademark in a sick way.

Beside the long working hours, K-Pop idols are forced to perfection like machines. Thus once again back to my point that the industrie sees them as mere products that can be produced in mass, rather than treating them as humans. There are many cases of abuse from the trainers to the K-Pop idols they‘re teaching. If they get one note or one dance move wrong thdy are imidiatly hit and slapped, causing some of them to even break down crying.

So to wrap it all up i guess you could say that my biggest problem with K-pop is how the industrie and even the fans treat their idols (and other people too obviously) instead of the music itself. Because even though i do not care for K-Pop music i would have never done this post if it were for the songs alone because music tastes are different from person to person. But i simply will not support K-Pop until at the very least the K-Pop industrie starts to treat their idols like actual human beings, giving them the right to express themselves and do their own thing, because i am sure if it weren‘t for the fact that most K-Pop songs are written by the exact same dude and the idols could write them themselves, we would get awesome songs with beautiful lyrics and melodies.

Bibliographie:

https://youtu.be/ClVqqJ3Peuc

https://www.sbs.com.au/popasia/blog/2017/12/14/dark-side-k-pop-according-former-k-pop-idol

https://www.google.lu/amp/s/aminoapps.com/c/k-pop/amp/blog/the-real-dark-side-of-kpop/3VIB_ugQqkW484YnV1Y2gbrJDabz3o

https://youtu.be/URZ1-Pmi9JY

https://youtu.be/g_3a-w0JqIg

https://www.thestar.com.my/news/regional/2017/12/21/star-suicide-highlights-dark-side-of-the-kpop-dream/

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rpbetter · 3 years

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Hi Vespertine. Can you offer some advice on how to RP a character that a lot of people think I shouldn't be RPing? I've wanted to RP Hans Landa for years, I like how cunning he is and how he could react to other ideals, how he could grow, especially in modern settings where he would stick out a lot. But I'm afraid because of how people react to muses like him. How do I build up confidence? How do I keep RPing if people bother or threaten to report me? Would people even RP with me? Thank you.

Alright, first thing, I've apologized on the blog already, apologized to people before you, but like I keep saying: it's really important to specifically apologize to individuals when we do something lame like I have. I did not intend to leave the blog unattended for months, but I did. This is an important question, it's right up the alley of why I created this blog, and I left you hanging. I'm deeply sorry, and I hope that my serious delay did not cause you any further worries or to give up on your character/RP!

Okay, we can proceed now!

I'll confess, I seriously spaced on who Hans Landa was for a moment there, but quickly remembered upon Googling! He was an interesting character, and I love that movie! However, I definitely see why you're worried, Anon.

Up until the last decade, taking up a character who was villainous, yes, even a Nazi, was a mark of creative gumption. Almost everyone had a verse for their muse that today would get them anon hate, callouts, reported, and so on. You know what? We had far less drama then. So, I'm not at all in the camp of demonizing your choices, or anyone else's. I saw what worked for a more peaceful RPC for decades and I've seen what is a total nightmare on tumblr.

Unfortunately, it is a total nightmare. So, let's see what you might be looking at, what your options are.

Firstly, you have the right idea; this is a character that appeals to you creatively, and that's really all that should matter. You've got ideas, you want to see your muse grow and change through interactions, and that's very much what the whole RPC needs to be a little more interested in.

I think, based on that alone, you would find people who wanted to write with you. There are quite a few muns out there dying for more interesting interactions with muses who have been taken up because the other mun really wants to write and develop them. Especially in the multi-para and novella communities. It's a bit of bane over there, the way the majority of muses are picked purely to satisfy a fleeting interest in a fandom. They don't come across as the characters they are in canon, are never given the opportunity to develop uniquely, they just exist to fulfill the mun's intense interest that will be gone soon. That works wonderfully and happily for some, but there really are a lot of muns out there who are interested in different approaches.

I will also say that most longer multi-para and novella RPers are less supportive of callout culture and content policing. When the very way that you enjoy RP is easily considered problematic on the grounds that you take it too seriously because you're invested in it, you tend to be against labeling others and giving them a hard time. That portion of the RPC, additionally, tends to be made up of older adults. The RPC kind of despises anyone over 25 who is still RPing, and I think a decent part of that is...this. We don't usually go in on equating fiction to reality, thinking that muse=mun, or that "problematic" material needs to be driven into the darkest void for communal safety. A great deal of that is because we lived through multiple fandom experiences being obliterated by these sorts of ideas, we know this is all detrimental to the community, and are more interested in a live and let live mentality even if we are disturbed by someone's muse or writing topics.

You may wish to specifically seek out RPers who are serious veterans (around for 10+ years), multi-para to novella writers, and/or have things in their rules that imply toleration and support for dark topics, villain muses, etc. (I know I have it in my rules that minors shouldn't interact with this blog due both its content and my age, but I can't exactly verify that with an anonymous message! So, Anon, please be aware I am giving this advice as though you are legally an adult.) Seek out muns who have muses that could also be considered "problematic" or who interact with muses who could be.

Remain away from anyone participating in or supportive of callout culture and purity policing. I know that can be difficult and limiting, and it is also not a 100% safe bet that you will be avoiding problems, but at least you'll know right off that these are not your people. That includes the ever-present callouts that claim the poster "never does this," that the mun being called out is just that much of a danger, and/or those dealing in the major callout-laden muns in your corner of the community. You might agree that one or two of those muns is a legitimate problem, but it's too likely that these people are going to feel like you are too.

Know that you will, inevitably, be called worse than just a "villain apologist." I write a muse that I wanted to write for years as well, and refrained from writing for so long because of the fandom's ideas about them. However, I have never been so happy with any muse choice, it's worth it to me to have some random hatefulness sometimes. I know I'm not a horrible person, the people who matter to me on and offline know that I am not, it doesn't actually matter what someone on tumblr thinks. It doesn't matter what they think about you either, they don't know you and won't give you the opportunity to be known, so pfft to them!

It can still be a little disheartening to hear some of the especially hateful things. While my muse isn't like Hans, the comparison to that is often made. There are a lot of assumptions about my personal character, race, gender, political affiliation, and so on. I'm just going to say it: if you don't think you can handle someone randomly attacking you and labeling you as "actually a Nazi," a genocide supporter, school shooter, "white cishet republican," and so on, do not subject yourself to this. Just write with friends you know are on your side or write some fic where there is some distance and control.

I do not believe, after reviewing them again, that you would be violating tumblr's TOS by writing this muse. You would not be promoting racism, harm to others, or misleading information. Nor would you be harassing anyone. Does that mean no one will try to report you? No, unfortunately. I've gotten reported for politely disagreeing on a post and asking a question! The important thing is that nothing will happen.

I would still make it very clear that this character might be offensive to some. Seriously, I would say, "In the interest of sensitivity, please note that this muse might be offensive to some - do not interact if imagery or topics associated with historical Nazis will be triggering for you. Hans Landa is from the film 2009 Quentin Tarantino film Inglourious Basterds." Pop that into the top of a pinned post, your rules, and your blog's header statement.

Because even if tumblr wasn't a mess, it's still the most responsible thing to do to treat this sensitively. It is a sensitive matter! People should have every opportunity to be aware and make the best choice for them to interact or not.

People almost certainly will threaten to report and block. Particularly when you are still looking for writing partners and having to expose yourself to more of the community in order to do so. It'll get so much better when you start finding them, though, I promise! Once you find a good mun or two, you've kind of unlocked a pocket of potential. Those people who are more accepting, reasonable, and interested in writing and characters are naturally going to be interacting with other like-minded muns.

Finding a good base of partners might take you some time, but the good news is, the whole process will help you build up the confidence to keep writing. It helps you get in touch with both writing and the muse, what is really important to you as an RPer, and is what isn't. It feels shitty at the time, but in the end, it builds a lot of confidence in yourself, and when you pull confidence from within you, you're never totally without it again!

When you're looking for those people (I'd additionally suggest historical RPers, if there is any existent community for the movie still, and branching out to fandoms that have "problematic" characters in them that you could do crossovers with in modern settings etc.), you can still be writing and developing your muse. Write up headcanons, fleshout the character's backstory, make multiple verses so that you have many options ready to go, do some one-shots.

A great way to do that is to find memes or traditional writing questions specifically for character development, but don't wait for someone to ask you! Go down the meme/list, pick some questions that spark your interest, and base your HC posts on them. Answer questions you immediately have answers to, answer the really hard ones you have no clue about. You don't know until you develop it, after all!

It helps with confidence so much to feel confident about your writing and comfortable with the character. It'll also help non-judgemental RPers who come across your blog or want to follow you back to see your writing and interest in the muse. I know that there are muses I was not interested in from their canon, but seeing the mun's love for them and how they had uniquely developed them, I had to interact!

When you do receive the almost inevitable anon hate, I'm going to suggest something a bit radical here; the idea of not feeding the trolls doesn't always work. That's predicated upon people not already receiving a reward for sending that hate to you. You can't starve what has already eaten lunch! I've found that demonstrating that they're not getting to you is more effective, in all, incredibly controversial honesty.

Put in your rules that anon hate will be addressed only with something like...a gif of a rabbit, a random fact, or a link to a song you recommend. Then, you do exactly that. You get a message calling you derogatory things, but instead of deleting it or going off about it in a way they can just use, you respond with a picture of a bunny cleaning its ears. Block the anon after.

This, again, in all honesty, is a confidence booster. Sometimes, building confidence is about projecting it first. You are projecting an aura of non-hostile confidence that you're not any of those negative things in reality, nor is your life ruined by people who haven't anything better to do with their own lives than bother you as performative "activism" online. It's alright if it really does bother you at first! Eventually, it won't. Eventually, you'll be left in peace with the reasonable muns you've found.

You will find them! There are still muns out there who feel like the most important factors in RP are engaging muses and writing, and how the mun is truly conducting themselves. If that mun is a genuinely decent person who isn't starting problems, harassing people, forcing anything on anyone, that's what matters! Just put your muse out there in a thoughtful way around people who are interested in writing. Be respectful of the sensitive nature of the subject, tag liberally and correctly.

No matter what tumblr's RPC says, you do have the right to write any muse or topic you so desire. People also have the right to not interact, of course, but since you're concerned about it (and truly, the person who is most likely to be made uncomfortable on here), I highly doubt you'll be trying to force interactions or anything.

Unfortunately, when you write any, even vaguely, problematic muse here, you are held to higher standards. You are obliged to be ten times nicer in the face of hatefulness, to be more aware of tagging and other warnings, and so on. It's kind of a practice in acceptance, and it can be frustrating. Again, if the muse is worth it to you, it'll be fine. Just know that you'll need to not be reactive to nastiness, very responsible in how you present yourself in all ways, and that it still won't be enough for some people. And know that's alright as well! They're making a choice to be hostile without knowing you or employing the adult maturity to just not interact with you, not you.

I know it's very easy to say "don't let people get to you." Perhaps especially from someone who will openly say in the tumblr RPC in 2021 that it's 100% fine to write a Nazi muse lol but please know that my confidence was not naturally occurring. It was developed across years of nonsense, and much of it offline, in person. So, I'm not flippantly advising you to have a level of fortitude out of nowhere! I'm honestly telling you that it is a process, but I think that if you want something bad enough to stick to it through the hardest part of it, you kind of expedite that process. It makes it a bit easier if you're still enjoying yourself!

So, on that note, my additional advice is to have another muse or other hobby you can enjoy during the difficult patches, or even slow times before you establish a good group of writing partners. Do things that will keep you feeling positive and motivated to write. That looks different for everyone, but I'm certain you have something. If that does happen to be another muse, or muses, I would strongly suggest you keep it to yourself that you are the mun of this one until you get rolling. While you have exactly nothing to be ashamed of, don't tempt ruining your fun on the other blog(s) until you are established on the new one and confident about it.

If you ever need to vent or further advice, I'm not going to vanish or anything again! Drop by any time you need to, Anon. Sometimes it goes a long way knowing that even a single person out there supports you!

I hope this helped a little, and I do support you! I think you've got this!

#vespertine #answered #anonymous #rp advice #tumblr rpc #nazi mention cw #villain muses

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spiffywiffy · 6 years

Photo

A poem I wrote about world problems for a Language Arts poetry slam contest in my hall.

The title is stronger than the poem itself.

The title says “This Poem Could Be useless” instead of “This Poem Is Useless” or “This Poem Is Not Useless.” The reason for this,as included, is because when you finish listening or reading this poem it is up to you to determine what you’re going to do with the words in this poem.

Each stanza has words between it even though it says nothing about it. You have to look beyond the words. The first stanza is about the LGBTQ+ community.

It talks about hiding in the closet. Why hide your sexuality in the closet when you can embrace it and shine on.

The second stanza is about sexism to anyone. People used to say a woman couldn’t fight in war ,but then turn around and say they need soldiers. Did that really matter though. A gender? It’s just a label What should have mattered was fighting for your country side by side people who dared to risk their lives. People also said men couldn’t take care of children or cook or clean or just do basic things that woman did. There are millions of dad’s and me out there who do all these things. No matter is it’s for their family or themselves. Why should basic living skills be limited to a woman’s job?

The third stanza, as it says,is about suicide and homicide. No one can really stop everyone from killing. Whether it’s themselves or someone else.

Suicide~ Some people just need support. They want to be noticed feel they are cared about and wanted around. Someone needs to be around to do that because all lives matter. And don’t worry because someone out there cares for you. Even if it is a random person you’ve never met.

Homicide~ This may never truly stop but the reasons for this matter could be because you don’t agree with someone or you dislike someone or just because your curious

Don’t be curious. Why does hurting someone else feel nice to you? You’re killing someone’s grandchild, children, neice or nephew. Not only do you cause pain to the victim but the family too. Someone out there cares about them.

Disliking someone is alright. You don’t have to like everyone. But hurting then because you don’t like them is not all right. There are better ways to handle a situation like this. Cut ties with them or ignore them. But don’t end the problem with a gun or a knife.

Disagreements are not uncommon. In fact I’ve had a few myself but at least I walk away alive. Taking someone’s life away when they have so much time left is a terrible thing.

Don’t do it.

The poem goes on to state the world’s problems. The final word of the stating is discrimination. You may think “what is that?” When you k ow exactly what it is.

It’s disrespecting g and hating someone because of things like Race, Color,Gender, or Sexual Orientation.

People can’t control their race or color. As for gender and sexual orientation,since when is it any of your business if someone wants to be a woman or man or even a them/they or it. If it bothers you that much deal with it. It’s not your choice.

You’ve probably heard things like this the time. You’re correct. But most of those people who speak to end these issues like world hunger or discrimination are correct. It’s bad. Even the word bad is an understatement.

There just no word for how messed up these problems are. And they aren’t the only ones.

Fighting doesn’t help either. Split in half? That’s terrible. Sure there can be disagreements but fighting to settle them? To some that may seem necessary and it may solve some problems but think of the innocent people who get hurt? Loosing family members or dying themselves.

This poem ends with something more powerful than this entire passage. Will you act to stop these problems or sit there thinking…“Oh well someone can do it for me.”

It’s all your choice. If you disagree with me that is perfectly fine. I’m simply a 13 year old voicing their opinion.

I’m not disrespecting your opinion. In fact you could care less about mine but just think for a moment about this word.

~E Q U A L I T Y~

If you really want it then do something to achieve it. Help this world solve it’s problems.

CHALLENGES ~~~~~~

1) Say something nice to someone you dislike. It could really help with your relationship. And if not then at least you tried.

2) If you have said something to discriminate someone, apologize and try saying or doing something that would make their day.

3) If have hurt yourself, think if this poem and know the Person behind this screen does care for you, even if I haven’t met you. You aren’t alone and you aren’t unimportant. You are important and deserve a life.

4) Screenshot and send this to someone who you think would need it. You can also show someone this in person.

If you did one of these things at all then smile at yourself. The person you helped may be smiling too.

~Spiffy Wiffy

P.s. read 1st page then 3rd page then 2nd page

#poetry #lgbtq #sexism #inspiration #spiffwiff

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ofcounseltech · 3 years

Text

The Endgame: Your Contact Page

Essential Web Pages: Part 2 of an Ongoing Series

We have already discussed the most "interesting" page on your site, the disclaimer (well, maybe just for those who enjoy legalese...but it really is important). But first, let's start with a pop quiz: What is the most important page on your site? The one with your beautiful face? Nope (even if your mother disagrees). Your Homepage? Well, first impressions are extremely important, but it's actually the last impression that I'm talking about. Think about this: What do you want to happen right after someone looks at your website? Update their Facebook status? Share a photo of them browsing your site? Get distracted with adorable cat videos? Or even spent a half hour following the links from your page to other sites that describe the history of the minutiae of the US Legal System? No, you want them to contact you! Right now! That's why the most important page on your site is the Contact Us page. It links the information on the site to the action of potential clients reaching out to you. It is the sole reason you are paying for your website. That is why it's today's topic.

Finding It

Before we even get to the elements of a well-constructed Contact Us page we should discuss the ease in which potential clients can find and access the Contact Us page. Simply put, links to your Contact page should be prominently visible in your website’s header and footer, which will then appear on every page as the user navigates through the site. We recently visited a legal website that contained a Contact Us link that was, literally, in an eight-point font, buried somewhere at the bottom of the Homepage and nowhere else. This is the exact opposite of what should be done. The Contact Us link should easily be found by using a different color text, a bold readable font, or a high visibility ‘button’.

Now that I’ve described how to link to the Contact Us page, let’s talk about the essential elements that should be in the page itself. And in case you haven’t guessed, it’s not just your phone number and email address, and in fact it’s not your personal cell phone number or your @gmail.com address.

Street Address or Mailing Address

If your firm has a physical address for its office space, it is important to give the full address: street number, street name, city, state, and zip code. Why so much detail? Simply put, we have become so reliant on our computers and our GPS tools that having a full complete physical address saves a huge amount of time and figuring out where we are going. There is a very high likelihood that any potential client coming to visit your office will be entering the address into a vehicle’s GPS and as we all know, the more detail, the better.

If you are working from a virtual office and are only there part time, or have chosen to have a physical mailing address, make sure you label these locations accordingly. You would hate to have a potential (or current) client show up at your ‘office’ address only to find themselves at a local UPS mailbox.

Include a Map

Along with the physical address, a map showing where the office is can be very helpful. Today with Google Maps, it is very easy to embed a specific address map image onto your Contact Us page and show where your office is located. This is especially important in any kind of large metropolitan area that has many different suburbs and towns surrounding a major city. A perfect example is the difference between an office located in Chicago, IL and in West Chicago, IL. Ask most people living in the Chicago area, and certainly people living outside of Chicago, and most people would assume that West Chicago borders on the west side of the City of Chicago. In fact, West Chicago is about a one hour drive on a good day, 40 miles west of The Loop and there are literally ten towns in between the two. Simply listing “West Chicago” with no map could be very misleading.

Phone

Having your phone number on your Contact Us page seems pretty obvious, but you might want to give some thought to specifically what phone number is being published. If your office is large enough that it has a general number answered by a receptionist or answering service, this is the obvious choice. Potential new clients can call this number and be directed to the specific attorney that might handle the specific legal issue. Just make sure that the receptionist or answering service has an idea of what the general fields of practice are in the firm and who normally handles each of those matters.

Some law firms will post the direct phone numbers for each individual attorney on the Bio or About Us page. This practice is workable, but sometimes may not be in the best interest of the attorneys themselves. Without any kind of buffer (a general ‘front desk’ number) between the outside world and the individual attorneys, these attorneys may find themselves fielding oddball questions, random salespeople, and other outside contacts that, to be honest, can become a massive waste of time.

As a sole practitioner, it may be tempting to post your cell number to allow potential clients to contact you directly. This is just an open invitation for spam callers, crazy inquiries, and unwanted access at odd hours. Services such as Google Voice can inexpensively create a valid secondary phone number which can serve as a buffer. Calls to this buffer number can be identified through caller ID, restricted to only ring between certain hours, and be forwarded immediately to voicemail to be reviewed later. Calls that are not filters are seamlessly forwarded to a number of your choice (smartphone or landline), with a caller ID tag indicating this is a call on the business line. This allows you to answer the call with your business name, rather than, “Yo, what up, dog?”

Text

Along the lines of the pitfalls of publishing a personal cell number, is the ability for outsiders to text to that number. In our experience, attorneys should keep their cell number and their text contact very close to the vest. Publishing this online, or sending it along with an email ‘signature’ becomes a dangerous proposition. As we all know, when anybody outside of your contact list sends you a text from an unknown number, there is typically no identifying information for that number (‘new phone - who dis?’). If you give someone your number and they are in your phonebook, then their texts will be identified, giving you some context. Having opposing counsel, potential new clients, or sales people just send random texts with no real contact context, or specific return content information, can become onerous at best and dangerous at worst.

Submission Form

It is very common to see a submission form on Contact Us pages. These are the fill in the blanks form that ask for things like Name, Email, Phone, and Comment or Question. This is a simple way for potential clients, or anybody on the outside, to make an online inquiry to your firm. These forms are typically ‘connected’ to a firm email and can then be assessed and the proper response can be formulated.

With a submission box, the potential new client will fill out the form and then hit the ‘Submit’ button. After they submit their information they will usually get some kind of message such as ‘Thank you for your submission’ or ‘Your inquiry has been received’. Rarely, but sometimes, a potential client or visitor to your site may be hesitant to use the form because they may feel like they really don't know who their inquiry went to, if it went at all, should they expect a reply, and who would that reply come from. Or they might want a record of what exactly they wrote to you in their own Sent Mail folder. If the user is uncomfortable with this type of submission, or wants to feel that they have a little more control over where and when that message was sent, Email may work better.

Your Contact Us page should include an all-purpose email address such as [email protected] or [email protected]. This email should be checked daily for any kind of incoming potential new client inquiry. It is easy to set up an all purpose email address that can be sent to one particular person or multiple people in your firm. Having multiple people see the email may speed up the reply time, but just make sure that some kind of ‘response protocol’ is in place to let everyone on the chain know the response has been sent. This will assure that there are not multiple responses being sent. This not only avoids conflicting responses, but avoids wasting time.

Social Media

If the firm has established a social media presence through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or YouTube, the Contact Us page is a perfect place to prominently display links to those specific social media outlets. If you are spending the time and effort to create content for your social media, you should certainly be pushing your web visitors to those sites so they can become followers.

Live Chat

More and more we are seeing firms that are using the ‘live chat’ services to encourage clients to contact them directly for some kind of real-time conversation. This works well only if the person on the chat side is reliable and you are willing to have that person hand out legal advice or legal guidance. If the live chat is just a glorified message taker, you might as well save the money and use a submission box or direct email and let the client directly contact the firm with these methods. More than likely if a person signs into a live chat, they are looking for an answer to a specific legal question at that moment. Unless the attorneys in your firm are fielding these inquiries 24/7, having some kind of non-lawyer operator handing out advice, or telling the client what ‘they would do’ is a huge mistake. It looks impressive to have this service tied to your site, but for solo and small practices, upsides rarely outweigh the downsides.

Hours

And finally, it's probably a pretty good idea to post your hours. If anything, just give potential clients a realistic expectation of when they hear me hear back from you and understand that if they are leaving a message at 10 p.m., don't expect to hear back until 8:30 the next morning or more likely the next business day.

While it may seem like little more than an afterthought for obvious information that a potential client could just look up themselves, the Contact Us page plays a key role in your website. Its elements all serve to encourage and enable potential clients to reach out, using whatever is best for them, and take the next step towards becoming your next, new client.

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