#and of course as soon as i go on my own

[prettyboysmlm]

mental illness gone once again hyperfixating on a dead mall near my house

#was looking thru liminal tag and saw pics taken recently there #i’ve wanted to go in there for like two years and i’ve begged my mom multiple times to take me #and of course as soon as i go on my own #i find out that it closed for fire safety two months before :)))) #so all the doors were locked #this was back in february #but the pics i just saw on here are from this past september #and the person says they took them themself #i sent them an ask asking how they got in #bc holy shit it’s beautiful in there. #from the pictures i’ve seen it’s absolutely gorgeous #and i want to experience that myself and not thru pictures #i’ve actually been in there before but it was when i was like three so i don’t really remember it #i’m hoping those pics aren’t old and that they actually found a way to get in recently #bc if so i want to go #it’s so beautiful you don’t understand #i’d say which mall it is but i don’t wanna give away my location #praying they respond since they last posted a month ago #please please god i want to get in so badly #k.txt

[symbologic]

Will Zoro leave Luffy after they achieve their dreams? Not likely

Saying Zoro's gonna voluntarily leave Luffy at the end of OP so he can "live his own life" (i.e. get married, open a dojo, hang out in bars) is so wild to me. That's like saying Luffy's gonna give up adventuring so he can sit around and gorge himself on meat

First of all, it ignores that Zoro genuinely enjoys traveling with Luffy. Luffy (who's always getting into trouble) gives Zoro the chance to be his best self. And Zoro (who very much wants to be his best self) will always seize that chance with both hands

Second, both characters are like...the poster children of wanting to have their cake and eat it too. If you're Luffy or Zoro, you rarely need to make either/or choices. That's what makes them unique. It's why they've both got conqueror's haki! Basically: If Zoro wants to drink until he blacks out? If he wants to nap all day? Hell, if he wants to get lost in a paper bag?? He is like a big cat. He will do what he wants, wherever he is. He doesn't need to leave Luffy to get those things LOL

Third, Luffy's made it clear the Pirate King needs no less than the Greatest Swordsman by his side. Why would that suddenly stop once they've both achieved their dreams? Is Luffy going to quit being Pirate King? Why would he? Luffy wants to be the most free in the world, so he can live the life he wants...with the people he wants to live it with

In other words, Luffy isn't letting Zoro go without a fight — not unless Luffy genuinely feels he's no longer the type of man Zoro would want to travel with. And wouldn't that be the worst ending for both of them?

#monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #one piece #text post #my meta #zolu #tho just kind of?? #keep seeing this take on different platforms and I simply do not understand where it comes from #Whyyyyy would Zoro or Luffy want anything else #when they WORK SO HARD to keep everything they need right beside them? #imo it's very telling that Luffy's response to someone potentially getting married is: #“Great! They can bring their spouse on board!” #I imagine he'd feel the same about children or anything else his crew may want. #Nobody needs to go their separate ways to “live their lives”; not unless the characters' priorities fundamentally change #which happens of course; because people change and that's okay too #AT THE SAME TIME it's so hard to imagine this for characters like Luffy and Zoro #who unapologetically live life on their own terms #are very open about what they want as soon as we meet them #and have ONLY gotten to where they're at because they refuse to make compromises about those things.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

it's like. everything happens so much. it's all happening right now but at the same time nothing is happening whatsoever. it's a liminal space of an existence. it's slowly crushing me under the weight but when I look up there's nothing actually bearing down on me. there shouldn't be any weight. something is wrong but nothing has happened. I'm simultaneously overwhelmed and utterly bored. nothing is happening and maybe that's the everything that's happening. maybe the everything is the nothing. we aren't there yet but it's all so imminent. either everything is going to crash down or nothing is. I'm just waiting to figure out which.

#I refuse to be upset at anyone. I have so much love in my heart #but I'm going to pack formal clothes for my sister in my own bag just in case. she doesn't need to know that. #you couldn't pay me to care or to stop caring. it's cognitive dissonance #because I know this won't always affect me but it's my whole world right now #I say I don't care and I mean it but at the same time I care more than anything else #it's actually almost scary how much I relate to dark alley #not in a ''I'm in a mentally dark or dangerous place'' way but in a ''yeah I compare myself to others too much'' way #and then I try to make excuses so it can make sense to other people so they won't think the worst of me #like literally I'm trying not to think about fall but it's right around the corner and I'm. falling into it I guess #pun intended of course. I don't want to lose all my friends #I want to be one of the kids who gets invited to people's houses for lunch after church and I know I never will be #because that's the kind of thing that's only for the kids who are going someplace. not the ones who stay #I'm feeling very selfish and it's probably bc I'm tired lol this happens sometimes #I'm gonna make dinner for my family and then I'll feel better skskskskk #Lu rambles #sometimes I think I could write poetry #I feel like once my vacation is actually imminent I'll feel better I just haaate the point we're at right now #which is like. it's SOON but not THAT SOON so I feel like I can't do anything bc I'm just waiting for things to get going :/

[lorephobic]

idk how to even like. put this pain into words and i would normally vent about this shit on twitter, but the person its about follows me on there so like. anybody have skills for coping with the crushing realization that the person u love most in this world and have built ur life around sees ur current situation together as a temporary hurdle that's preventing them from their truest and happiest self which. is separate from u entirely? anyone know how to deal with this?

#live with my best friend in the whole entire world who. honest to god makes me the happiest person alive. #like im always waxing poetic about her in the tags on posts about platonic love #and i talk about her like she put the stars in the skies because for real it feels like she did for me #she is. the most important person in my life #and every day i feel grateful just to come home and sit with her #like honest to god i cannot imagine a future that is better than this #if i have a bad day i get to come home and my best friend in the world will make me laugh #what more could i ever ask for #but tonight we talked and she made it abundantly clear that. even if i do everything right #even if i'm the perfect roommate and the best friend i can be #in just over a year #when she's making enough money for it #she plans on moving into a place of her own #which like. makes sense for her. of course we were going to get to this point. #but i just. don't know what i'm going to do. #and it kills me that we're on different pages because for some reason i thought this was a long term thing #i thought we were going to move into a house together #i was just telling my coworker this week that we need to move into our forever home soon which was partially a joke #but also. even if i was making a million dollars a year. #i would still want to be here. with her. #or somewhere else. with her. #like it's so hard to imagine a future without her. it breaks my heart and scares the shit out of me. #and i know i can't afford it here. and i can't move in with strangers. and i'm working my dream job but i'm scared that i'm going to have t #give it all up and move back east because. i can't do this alone. and she's all i have. and all i ever wanted. #and she's leaving. #she doesn't want to be with me. #sry this is so fucking. ugh. idk. i just don't know what to do. #for real might just drop everything and move to chicago if it comes down to it ksdkfljdfs #its what sufjan would have wanted #fucked up terrible no good week

[icewindandboringhorror]

Recent sky photos 

#still... I am not joking.. every time I post things like this it is so hard to narrow them down #I am almost as obsessed with the sky as I am with cats. I have a folder of just cloud pictures with like 650 photos in it right now #I don't post them all because I think it'd seem repetitive probably but just know... lol #that could be an entire blog or something.. hundreds and hundreds... #Like the same way that I cannot explain my obsession with cats or why they've imprinted into my brain so heavily - clouds are the same way #anyway.. .still have the costume photos and stuff like that I just havent edited and posted yet lol.. I will.. hoepfully have actual art #content and stuff thats not just random cat photos sometime soon. I'm just always so preoccupied at the beginning of the year with trying to #adjust to new goals and schedules.. plus.. still wokriong on that wretched little slideshow aaaaaaaaaaaa... it is going to take me... #a million yearbs..... #I just want the worldbuiling lore established so I can branch out and do other things.. aughhhh...... #also have to work on game videos and a few other vidoes.. still trying to keep up wiht the youtube a little.. I just havent been productive #like since new years as I've felt sicker with my stomach symptoms and stuff.. ToT ALSO I DID MAKE THAT ENTIRE interactive fiction game which #I still have no posted anywhere lol.. Because it was kind of to accompany something that I was doing on a game site (like imagine making a g #ame to go along with one of your neopets or something) but it works totally fine as a standalone thing as well like. so detached from the #lore of the game site in general that it'd be broadly understandable and is it's own thing of course (because I dont really like writing #other people's characters/in the confine's of other worlds so I made everything original as possible with just a loose tie in to the neopets #typw thing lol) - but I figured since it works on it's own I could post it publicly other places too like 'hey look I made something' since #that is...... kind of somehting that counts as like... being creatively productive lol? like I keep talking about getting nothing done while #also forgetting about the things I actually HAVE done. alas I continuously forget. Seriously I am so bad at social media. I am never exagger #ating for comedic effect or something. I am the type of person that could legit like. write and produce and direct and complete a movie #that will be million dollars shown in theaters or something and I would forget to mention it anywherte until like 5 months later and go 'oh #uh .. oh yeah.. i should post about that online somehwere probably.. oops' . Cursed with the 'forget about everything once it's complete' #trait. Like the way my brain works is just like. once I finish something I'm immediately like 'cool! onto the next thing!!' without processi #ng what i just did. I'm just always looking forward to the next thing. I'll finish sculptures and then throw them away or forget about them. #I take photos and they sit in the drafts for 6 months before I post them. Like to me the enjoyment comes from the PROCESS of making somehtin #g but I don't care as much about the end result so it just doesnt exist in my brain anymore once I'm done? idk.. anyway ghjbhj #SORRY.. trying to be more active. I want to make and sell sculptures again. sell all of my spare clothes too. stuff. things.. aaa.. ***

[visdiefje]

Man I can't wait until I can recover alone for a while

#I was alone in my apartment today and put together a standing clotheshanger shoerack combo #and it was actually so nice to do stuff and NOT receive verbal feedback I didn't ask for #I actually HATE when I start to do things wrong and immediately there's an audible no no no #it makes me feel like I Have to be on top of things and do them right immediately so everyone can be silent to me about it #trying to navigate life without triggering an unskippable cutscene as it were #if I do it on my own I will find out I'm going about it the wrong way soon enough #and I'll correct it #no nitpicking needed just using my time and brain to find a solution #it makes me feel so much better about myself #I'm already starting to see why I've always felt so incapable and inadequate. I can tell I really need this #I'm really curious what else I can do now that I'm allowed to figure it out in silence #more than ever reaffirmed that auditory is my quickest sense to wear me out/overstimulate #which is why reveiving verbal feedback I have to interpret makes me want to fly into a rage sometimes #because I NEVER get enough time to figure it out. they see me not change my course of action immediately and they take it out of my hands #it feels so. crowded and like nothing is in my control #give me time. give me space to breathe. let me make a mistake and understand firsthand why it's a mistake #please please please stop narrating everything to me. please. can we be quiet for a while. #you can sit with me but please don't tell me anything. #bien rambles

[alongtidesoflight]

i haven't talked trans stuff with irl people in a while so when i tell you today was exhausting

#sat in my class minding my own business when the entire class started shitting on trans women #how to argue with these ppl without breaching stealth #i don't pass well as a woman anymore so i'm assuming these people think i'm a very butch lesbian or whatever #no one's uncomfortable with me being in the women's toilets but as soon as a trans woman steps in there all hell breaks loose #hypothetical trans woman in this case btw because there aren't any trans girls in my class but my language recently started using a #more gender-neutral approach to speaking and added an nb gender marker to job descriptions and passports #so of course every language teacher under the sun has to complain about it #and that turned into an unhinged 30 minutes of my teacher pretending to be a trans woman but actually acting like a very flamboyant #drag queen getting ready to bother some ladies in the women's bathroom #and i have never been more uncomfortable in my life #lucky for ME i don't have to attend that class often so i think i'll only head in there for any exams that might come up #transphobia tw #adding this one for the girlies following me #rant time sorry #this is the second time a teacher tried to get some kinda anti-trans approval out of me and i don't know what they're trying to achieve #here but they're barking up the wrong tree here #the m/f/nb gender marker does exactly what it says btw whatever marker's in your passport dictates where you can go and nb bathrooms are #kinda welcoming to anyone men and women included #and all of this is a discussion on its own #but the starting point of this argument for these people was that trans women and trans men can only use nb bathrooms because #they're not 'real' men or women and where to even start here you know #in the end while i was arguing my teacher told me that i don't know what i'm talking about but 'every other man' in this class #knows exactly what he means #cut me off and that was that #it's not about winning or losing here but i think he realised that i was using arguments that he just didn't feel like talking about rn #so i just ended getting cut off and talked over and i wasn't feeling like #raising my voice but it's just uncomfortable to know what this class would have been thinking of me if i hadn't #decided to go by my agab in this evening course #by the way the very first day i attended this course i showed another guy to the women's bathroom because the men's bathroom was closed for #repairs

[ouchhq]

why am i always the dispensable friend

#i replied to a friends voice messages over three weeks ago and she still hasnt replied #she listened but hasnt replied because i always assumed she was too busy #and of course i dont expect her to reply as soon as she has a free moment im not that sef-centered i know she works and has stuff to do and #of course she has every right to relax and do whatever she wants but i just saw a story she posted being out with a friend and i just kinda #remembered that i tend to let everything pass for everyone. in one of those messages i told her how bad i was feeling and how i felt like i #couldnt go on on my own and probably will need meds… and she listened and texted me about a week ago saying she was sorry she hadnt replied #yet and she wanted to know how i was (without asking of course) and them proceeded to update me on herself #and since has only texted to talk about her stuff #u know what im about sick and tired of being the one who validates others getting nothing at all in return ever #im always the one that people can rely on to listen to them but to people im clearly nothing more than that

[pepprs]

yeah no im not going to lie to you gewls. the psychic damage of having to apply for the full-time version of my internship a year ago was kinda unbearable but like it made sense that i had to do that. but the psychic damage of having to apply for the literal EXACT same job that i am CURRENTLY IN just at a regular status with better benefits… is quite simply unspeakable. make it make sense.

#purrs #i feel horrible for complaining abt it bc again… im potentially getting fast tracked to regular status and a raise and that is an extremely #generous big deal. but how the fuck am i supposed to do any of this. like you mean i have to do a peasant dance ON THE PODIUM after winning #the dance competition ⁉️⁉️⁉️ like how do i even write this cover letter or ask for references or anything. i get why they have to do a searc #so it’s equitable and fair and whatever but this position was MADE for me and im already in it like… it’s fucking embarrassing for everyone #involved. why are we going through all of this why are you making me a dog in a thundervest AGAINNNNNN. attacka you attacka you attacka you. #delete later #like i feel so much despair agout it but it’s also so upsetting it’s funny. of course i have to apply for my own job not once but TWICE. #hell watch it be three times too once i finish killing myself getting a masters degree i don’t even want 😍😍😍😍😍😍 it’s all rainbows and #sunshine until they decide i have to walk across the coals one more time just for kicks huh. and you wonder why im on the verge of a nervous #breakdown literally constantly and am extremely distrustful and paranoid about anything having to do with my positioning in this work LOOOOL #like actually wha happened last year was i walked across the coals and then as soon as i made it safely to the other side a volcano erupted #and we all drowned in lava but i survived and now it’s like oh you have to walk across the coals again 😇 LIKE STFU DID YOU NOT SEE WHAT HELL #IJUST OVERCAME. IS THAT NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! but it isn’t of course and i get it but also like WHAT the fuck. this sux 😍

[adara-writer]

Goals for tonight are to finish writing chapter 8, start editing it, and work on the rest of the outline. I actually know where this story is going to end, so I'm really hoping I might be to get a rough chapter count to add onto the fic when I update it tomorrow.

#behind the writer #i have a few hours tonight #and i'm really just hoping i can sit down and write #i don't want to denigrate my own work #but chapter 8 is a little bit of a filler chapter #i promise things are going to get a lot more interesting soon #but the passage of time is necessary #in maybe more fun news #chapter 8 is also going to push this fic past the 20k word mark #and probably also the 1k kudos mark #so yay! #also chapter 8 isn't boring! #it does have a few fun callbacks #and of course more pining

[cvsette]

caught between being 25 years old and wanting to enact the child/young adult -hood i never had by being carefree and rebellious and irresponsible and being 25 years old and wanting to plan for the sort of future i'd never considered (as in, something actually liveable)

#i want to quit my job and empty my savings account and spend time with my friends #i want to get a certificate and interview for jobs and have a 9-to-5 career and go to the dentist every year #i want to rebel like i didnt in high school and abandon the ideal of a 'normal life' #i want to live comfortably and stop not-thinking and have security and an apartment of my own #but anyway my back hurts. so do my feet. #mitski literally went so hard when she said 'i was so young when i behaved 25' #txt #personal #this will of course all be solved as soon as i turn 26 im sure! :)

[myfirstandlast]

going through answered asks from when i was 18 wanting to hold myself so tightly

#i’ve never cared for the whole i wish i could see my younger self thing #because from where i was standing it was always still bad so thought why would i want to see them now #things are going to become very hard again very soon but last year was the best year of my entire life #i did something terrifying and then i claimed my life as my own #and a year later i have a car! and im driving! you can’t understand how impossible of a thought this was to me before #i live on my own and i’ve decorated my body and my bedroom and i can buy things i never thought id be able to own #i miss connecting with others my dash is a total wasteland now but i just #seriously cannot believe where i am right now. even though some things are still so screwed up and more screwed things are on the way #and i’m terrified of course. january is the perfect month to feel like ending it all. too much unknown #but still 2023 felt like magic i didn’t deserve and yet i basked in it #i’m not incredibly successful i’m not very interesting but im still so proud of myself somehow. even though i hate myself #it’s not as much as i used to. i appreciate myself more now and i can see how i needed me to get here. and im grateful for me #and for everything i have. i’m just speechless i can’t believe the life i currently have #i’m waiting to enter the era of travelling and intimate get together those areas are still slow coming #but if i could do this i can only hope and hope and squeeze my eyes tight to make them appear someday #i miss so many things but i don’t miss the old me. she sucked but she also cared and she’s still here in fragments #it’s strange to write this way i’ve never felt this sort of compassion before i was so so deeply depressed #it was inescapable and for good reason i don’t know how i made it through anything i’ve endured #i have to thank myself for always being too scared to die

[danggirlronpa]

when tumblr fixes my ability to make fun side pages without the html breaking its OVER for you bitches

#needed a break from poll stuff so instead i decided i was going to do The Most #this is actually a thing ive been meaning to do Forever i just finally got the kick to do it #ive finished all the thh girls and im v happy with it! (: #if anyone has any character blogs they want to shoutout. ive of course done my diligence to fyeahsakura my beloved and mine own mukuro blog #anyway sorry i didnt temporarily turn into a nekomaru blag for april fools day its because i was working on sthing unnecessarily elaborate #blog maintenance #i used to have a tag for this but i cant remember it #anyway look forward to this someday soon! my hope is to have all of the zines and character blogs and etc for each char

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Hallelujah I woke up before 7:00 AM FINALLY

#and of course the whole “praise jah” thing is ironic in my case dndndjdjdnd #I never wake up this early unless I’ve got something to do #I got an app that gives you points for walking that can be converted to Amazon gift cards; so I might take a walk #Amazon gift cards are 2000 points and you can earn maximum 100 points a day from walking; so I’ll get $5.00 every 20 days #if I walk 10000 steps a day #👍 #This will get me active #Don’t worry I checked the reviews; I’m not falling for anything bad lol #And when I go back to work this fall I have a very active job so that’ll be no problem for me #I have my eye on a wobble stool for when I move into my own apartment #The rest of the furniture I’ll get from like… garage sales #But yeah. I mean if there’s a way to monetize my walking? Of course I — soon to be POMO — want to do it #Don’t wanna recommend it yet until I get payout; but if it goes well I will update

[stairset]

I decided I'm taking the L and applying for the car part assembly place that my former neighbor works at cause A) she can vouch for me which increases my chances of actually getting it, B) all the places I actually wanted to work at either aren't hiring or never got back to me but this place is always hiring, and C) it's full-time and pays $17.75 an hour and I've looked at the rent prices for nearby apartments and calculated that with that pay I should be able to move out in about a year give or take so even though I won't enjoy it it'll be worth it in the long run.

#i also decided recently that freelance graphic artist is the career path i wanna take #so while i'm working there i'm gonna look for a good online graphic design course i can take #and then maybe while i'm at it i'll finally learn how to do digital art #and then i can actually start using my deviantart account and take commissions #y'know to make some extra money on the side #and then eventually when i get all that off the ground i can find an apartment over in kansas city and move there cause blue springs sucks #this is like the first time in my life i've actually had a long-term game plan for the foreseeable future so hopefully it actually works ou #but yeah the evening shift at this car place is from 2 pm to 10 pm #so i'm gonna find one of those online courses where you can do everything at your own pace #so that way i can do that in the mornings and work in the afternoons #also i'd be able to keep a consistent gym schedule #cause i could go to the gym early in the morning #i prefer going to the gym like as soon as it opens cause that's when it's the least crowded #so yeah fingers crossed all this shit goes according to plan i guess #former neighbor gave me a number to call some lady but obviously i'll have to wait til monday for that #cause she definitely won't be there on the weekend #shut up tristan

[arthur-r]

need to poll my friends, does anybody drink black coffee like just coffee from inside of a coffee pot and you don’t put anything in it?

#haven’t tried black coffee since i was like ten and i hated it then and now i have mixed feelings #the biggest problem was that it is way too warm i am all burnt up now #that’s what milk is for really is just to drown out the heat turn it into a regular temperature beverage #anyway it tastes well enough and i guess the point of black coffee is it gets the job done #that being said caffeine usually makes me feel unwell so don’t ask me why i went for it today #pro tip if you don’t want to aggravate somebody’s heart problems don’t pour coffee near them when they’re sleeping #(‘‘sleeping’’ what i mean is eyes closed head on desk still perceiving things. not strong enough to wake me up from a dream or anything) #anyway if you pour coffee near me and i’m currently tired out of my mind i’m gonna ask to have some there’s no way around it #so um not my fault i was aided and abetted and i play no role in my own destruction #anyway i’m also feeling entirely fine shdhdf i’m nearly convinced it’s been a chocolate allergy this whole time #and if i stop drinking mochas then i’ll stop reacting cause it’s not the caffeine that’s the problem. we’ll find out soon #anyway who drinks this. do my friends drink this?? do my friends have tips on how to drink this #for example how do you make it not be warm but also not be filled up with milk #do you just blow on it. like an old man in a fable about a satyr who thinks humans are the strangest creatures #the taste is kind of epic honestly like it’s not good but it’s kind of good #at the very least it makes me feel like an old academic #anyway hi it’s senior skip day and i’m playing the system by showing up at the school building and skipping from here #shdhdf i’m gonna go to class from here on out though. just had to skip physics cause i never did the essay and i’m afraid of confrontation #that’s also not my fault because who assigns an essay in physics class???? i dont know this stuff well enough to write about it?? #although of course that’s the point of assigning an essay is to see if we know everything well enough to write about it shdhdf #so anyway i’m here to ask my friends who drink black coffee (if there are any) what do you do to help it cross the line to just being good? #cause right now it’s like good in several ways but it’s too warm and it tastes a little bit silly. i need pro tips for college #cause honestly i love the taste of coffee and like i said the chocolate might be the problem so i’m turning away from mochas #probably they’re both a problem. but let’s say i start drinking decaf black coffee. what do i do to make it incredible. please and thanks #shdhdf mostly i’m just checking in though. how is everybody? i really hope you are doing well!!!! #i’ll be around for a bit then heading to humanities class eventually i can’t skip on the teacher who invited me to her book club #also like. lunch. and like i said i have integrity now. gonna go to the rest of my classes #but so anyway i hope everybody is doing well!!!! let me know if you need anything!! listen to corrections by poolboy if you feel like it!! #me. my post. mine. #alright this is my last tag but i’ll be around. hope you are well and let me know!!