#and make you owe her

[lovesickeros]

☆ decadence divine [ act I ]

{☆} characters arlecchino, neuvillette, furina {☆} notes yandere, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings yandere content, stalking (implied), kidnapping (implied) {☆} word count 2.3k

ARLECCHINO

Arlecchino was wont to leave social gatherings to her subordinates– the private meetings were where she thrived. It was so much easier to lure your prey into a trap when you didn't have prying eyes and ears waiting for the barest hint of blackmail.

She clicked her tongue in distaste, her eyes narrowing beneath the mask of the fox as she set down her cup sharply. It was difficult as it was to draw them from the safety of their bubble– at the slightest hint of danger, her quarry would run. A chase would be fun, but she couldn't risk getting caught here. The political nightmare it would cause..it already gave her a headache. She had to be discreet.

They weren't making it easy, however.

Which is why she never liked crowds. But this chance didn't come by every day. She wasn't going to simply let it pass by because of a little danger. She'd have them eventually, it was just a matter of how. There were already numerous of her own lingering in the crowds, hidden beneath the masks that every patron bore. It was difficult to stand out amongst the flurry of masked patrons constantly shifting around the room, moving from one conversation to another, gliding from one dance partner to another.

Her heeled boots clicked sharply against the tile as she stalked through the crowds, keeping a wide berth yet always lingering nearby– she was sure they could feel the vague sense of being watched, but with the huge crowds..her lips quirked into a grin with the barest flash of teeth. There were a great many ways to break them in– she'd spent a great amount of time and mora to get anything she could for blackmail, if she so wished. She had the backing of the Fatui as well if she played her cards right– it wouldn't be difficult to convince them that they were a valuable target, and none of them would dare to question just what she did with them afterwards.

Perhaps a bit of play, first. Test the waters. She was familiar with playing the polite gentleman, despite her status as a Fatui Harbinger. Stage something for her to intervene, perhaps, to look the hero. The look of shock when she revealed the wolf beneath the wool..she could see it already. That wide, doe-eyed look as they realized the monster they've followed blindly like a lost lamb..she was beginning to see the appeal.

All it took was a few hushed words and subtle signals before the tiles started to fall in place, her hand gliding along their lower back as she leaned over their shoulder with a thin, predatory smile. She'd have to organize for the agent to be released later, her eyes following as the Gardes dragged him out of the room in a flurry of curses, but for now..she tilted her head to peer down at them, polite and almost apologetic.

"You aren't too startled, are you? Now now, there's no need to look so..scared, poor thing. I won't let another lay a hand on you," She cooed in a sickly sweet tone, the husky rasp of her voice whispered in their ear like dripping honey. "You have my word. Now, why don't we get you some fresh air? Come. Allow me to escort you."

Her lips pulled into a jagged grin at the relief in their eyes– the blind lamb following the shepherd as it led them into it's maw. Just a little longer, and she could finally have her own caged bird– a pretty thing to admire, to protect, to possess.

Something no one else would ever touch again. Something hers.

NEUVILLETTE

Neuvillette was not one for parties. The intricacies and delicate handling of public relations he oft left in the capable hands of Furina, rather then himself. It was only at her behest he even attended at all, but he still felt rather..out of place amongst the bodies constantly shifting through the ballroom like a constant rush of water from one end to the other, no rhyme nor reason to the flow. The only thing that kept him afloat among the tides was the mask of the deer obscuring his face– even if it was exceedingly difficult to truly hide himself among the crowds, most passed over him without second thought.

Though he had to be honest with himself, even if he couldn't bring himself to admit it to Furina despite her insistence that his attendance was mandatory. He had his own reasons for coming– selfishness that left a sour taste in his mouth. It was purely by chance he'd seen the briefest glimpse of them prior, and he..was intrigued, that was all.

He refused to let his thoughts linger on the sleepless nights he spent prying every piece of information he could from loose tongues and obscure documents, every moment he managed to squeeze in between trials spent lingering in their most favored locations– cafes, stores, restaurants, the like.

Now a masquerade.

He tried not to let the guilt gnaw at his conscious, but it lingered like an age old scar that still ached.

So he relegated himself to simply residing in the further corner, nursing a goblet of water like a fine wine, trying not to let his eyes stray to the brief glimpses of them through the ever moving bodies filling the center of the room, dancing like puppets in music boxes.

Still, his hand twitched in an instinctual desire– a need to clasp his hand in their own, to touch his lips upon their knuckles, to indulge in a moment of reprieve and unshackle himself from the mantle that bears heavy upon his shoulders. He seeks reverence, worship, but not of himself– but towards the one who had drawn the eye of the dragon amongst the waves of humans he'd seen come and go for a great many years.

No one could compare, he is certain. None have left him as breathless, as hopelessly infatuated, as the one who made him wish only to kneel at their feet in senseless reverence until he could no longer speak. A hopeless man, indeed, if he has never even truly met them.

Instead he's spent his time prying into their life from the shadows. Caution, or simple cowardice?

He dares not ponder.

Yet in his ceaseless pondering he'd blocked out the world without, failing to notice the figure stepping up beside him until their hand brushed against his elbow– just the briefest touch, but it had his pupils narrowing and his entire body tensing like a coiled spring. That touch..bliss. It left him breathless and lightheaded as he tilted his head to regard them, his lips parting in a shaky sigh. They are as beautiful as he remembers– even with their face obscured beneath the mask, he would never forget them.

"Greetings, Monsieur– I hope I didn't frighten you too much." Their laugh made him feel rather faint, just the sound of their voice making his hand tighten around his cane. "..Not at all. I was simply lost in thought." He admitted apologetically, trying to reign in the urge to cup their face between his palms. A dangerous thought. He didn't want to scare them off when they'd provided him a priceless opportunity.

"My apologies, you must have needed something. It was rude of me to have been so absorbed in my thoughts to have ignored you." He continued, gently turning to set his goblet down– offer them his full attention, be a gentleman. The words rang in his skull like a ceaseless alarm, blaring and rattling his thoughts as he gently took their hand in his own. It was a split second decision– an indulgence, but he could simply not help himself. Even with his gloves between them, he felt like he was going to lose his composure just from such a brief touch..

He truly was a hopeless man before an altar, praying for a salvation he intends to bury deep beneath the waves– to keep it hidden in the darkness of the depths that only he can reach. A selfish man, he must be, to even think of it, but it is an itch that he cannot scratch. A need that must be satisfied. He cannot allow any hands but his own to tend to them, to know what it feels to touch them, to hear their voice and see their eyes as he prays– prays like a man starved, devotion born of desperation.

"I hope I did not make you wait too long." He smiles, soft and affectionate, like the bloom of spring beneath the winters chill– yet just as deadly, only masked by the sweet fragrance of flowers.

He had waited too long.

No longer.

FURINA

Furina was right at home amongst the crowds– where the masks obscured the identities of most, it was impossible to not recognize the charming banter of the Hydro Archon beneath the mask of the lamb as she graced the masquerade with her presence, speaking with a silver tongue to any who would listen. A truly enthralled audience fitting for the grandest of performers in Fontaine.

But her eyes lingered not on the people who's praise dripped from their lips like honey– yet so very bitter upon her tongue. Even the mask obscuring her expression did little to hide the longing that had her visibly deflating like a popped balloon. She hated all the eyes on her, really– it was suffocating. She was only putting on a show in the foolish hope that they'd finally pay attention to her. Just her luck, she supposes, that instead she's had to throw herself straight into the role of Archon without a pay off..

They hadn't even spared her a glance! It would be infuriating if not for the fact she couldn't even keep her composure just seeing them across the room. They didn't even have to look at her and she could feel the heat rush to her ears as she forced another smile at the crowd gathered around her. It was unfair how easily they could fluster her without even knowing it– her heart was thumping so hard against her ribcage she felt like it might burst.

Her only solace was the fact none of the patrons seemed to realize she'd clocked out of the conversation, her thoughts and eyes lingering on the distant figure– what a lovestruck fool she makes..it was a chance encounter she'd seen them during one of her outings. That was all it took to enthrall her, evidentially, try as she might to have ignore it for months.

They never left her mind for longer then a day, in the end, and she had to face the fact they had managed to enrapture her so deeply she felt like a newborn lamb learning to walk whenever she so much as thought of them. What an embarrassment! She..she was the Archon, she had a reputation to maintain, she couldn't be seen fawning over a human.

But oh, she still longed for it, beneath the veneer of a God. She'd watched them more times then she'd admit even to herself, wishing to find herself in place of those who'd hands were cradled so casually in their own– to hear their voice, their laughter, as often as she pleased..like a fine delicacy she so badly wished to taste, yet so far from her reach.

Would they think her pathetic for her infatuation? She pursed her lips at the thought, trying to bury the sour mood beneath her faux image of the Archon. Yet it lingered, and with only the quietest of excuses, she slipped into the crowd like a ghost– she needed to leave before she did something..stupid. Neuvillette would surely have a few choice words with her if she did, and she was inclined to avoid such a fate.

She..she just needed a moment to collect herself was all. That was it. She could go back to playing Archon for a little longer, she just needed a moment to herself. At the very least, the balcony had been regarded as off limits so late into the party– which gave her an opportunity to slip out of the public view for the briefest of moments. A welcome reprieve– she was starting to feel suffocated amongst the crowds.

Perhaps on instinct, she reached for the mask, lifting ever so slightly away..only to let out a startled yelp at the touch of a hand on her shoulder, the mask slipping back into place far too easily. It made her lightheaded, even now, but she dared not to dwell on it.

But when she turned sharply on her heel to chew out the person who'd followed her and had the gall to scare her..oh, she was done for, her ears flush with heat. The brief glimpse of their eyes beneath the mask, the curl of their lips as they smiled– her heart stuttered in her chest, and she was certain it had stopped all together when they clasped her hand.

"Y–you.." She wanted to be angry, to brush them off and leave with her rationality in tact, but the warmth of their hands on her skin rendered her speechless. She was no better then a fish on land, struggling to fill her lungs with air as she drew in a shaky breath. "Ahem, you caught me off guard. That's all. Surely you do not make it a habit to sneak up on people?" She huffed in indignation, trying to mask the fluster that threatened to break through her carefully crafted facade.

Ah, what a cruel twist of fate..she'd slipped away to escape their allure, but here they were, dragging her back into their orbit without even knowing how deep her infatuation ran. They were alone, too..it was a chance she wasn't sure she'd ever get again.

Maybe, just this once, she could do something for herself rather then everyone else.

She buried her guilt, the fear– buried it beneath the need to be seen.

"But if you want to make it up to me.."

#genshin impact #genshin impact yandere #genshin yandere #neuvillette x reader #yandere neuvillette #yandere neuvillette x reader #arlecchino x reader #yandere arlecchino #yandere arlecchino x reader #furina x reader #yandere furina #yandere furina x reader #fic tag #pats neuvillette this noodle dragon can be so pathetic #aiming for pathetic desperate and slightly guilty. it gnaws at him knowing he's keeping you like a bird in a cage #esp if you react extremely negatively hes like a kicked puppy #not outwardly but internally hes a MESS. sobbing crying wailing #furina and neuvi sopping wet kittens u found in a cardboard box in an alley #vs arle thinking abt all the crimes shes going 2 commit in the process w/o an ounce of guilt. blackmail? check. kidnapping? check. #a little murder for flavor. as u can see im coping horribly w being practically snowed in rn i need 2 be put down #its like 4 degrees out rn (fahrenheit) and getting colder ueueueue i am dying.......... #only thing keeping me going is my furinameow plushie coming. eventually. staying strong just for her................. #also needs 2 be mentioned all the stories r separate ksjfkhdsf #no not everyone in fontaine is yan and trying 2 kidnap sorry for getting ur hopes up.. #yet #anyway u cant convince me arle isn't bribing (or just straight up forcing) her agents into doing stupid shit so she can “save” you #and make you owe her #two silly goofy little creatures vs the personification of gaslight gatekeep girlboss (heavy on the gaslight) #also split this up in 3 parts bc. lol. lmao. im not writing 9 characters at once goodbye #also all the masks do actually have significance i have an entire essay on why i gave each animal to specific characters okay

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

This was home.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #blood #Good bye Jiang Disciples. May you live on in the Lan Wangji in lotus pier AU. #This is going to be the start of a bunch of sad scenes I desperately try to undercut with humour. #You may ask where Elle Woods is considering her help was requested. #The canon answer is that she didn't make it there in time. This is the reason why WWX has the pink phone in present day. #It is a favour she owes him out of apology. #I am also making it canon that Jiang Cheng hates Elle Woods for not being there. His two Nemeses in PD-MDZS are Elle and WWX. #This is why Jiang Cheng doesn't have the phone. He would hunt her down but Bruiser bit him really bad last time he tried. #His pride is too hurt to try again. #I don't think I've done a wordless comic in a while - what a fun challenge! #I'm getting lots of practice with backgrounds in the last few comics - I really feel like I'm getting more comfortable with it! #Obviously I still have a long way to go but this is a journey B*)

[marisatomay]

“you don’t owe anyone anything” actually you owe everyone everything!!! you OWE your table server and your coworkers and the elderly person you pass on the street and the dog on its walk and the child toddling along in the park and the driver trying to merge next to you and the pregnant person standing on public transport KINDNESS in return for theirs!! the connections we build are what give life meaning!!!

#a buddy of mine is a server and is getting ROASTED on twitter for complaining about #how often nowadays people will just completely ignore her when she greets them and asks how they are and what can she get them started with #and when they DO finally acknowledge that she Exists they’re rude about it all #and how demoralizing and dehumanizing it is #and of course people have taken this and decided that being told it’s rude to ignore that your server exists is actually ableist #like jesus fucking christ you people can’t do anything huh #like i’m serious i’m ND and have terrible days where i go mute sometimes and you know what i do? #do my best to not go out places that require social interaction but if i Must then i’m not a prick to the people i come across #because my issues aren’t their fault. and i owe it to them to not make their lives harder. #anyway i’m so angry for bailey people are so awful grow up and have some fucking AGENCY

[softly-and-suddenly]

People are so boring about classic literature sometimes. Like I know it’s cool to be critical of men in books from the 19th century or whatever but it just leads to ripping out all of the nuance in favor of “Uh all of the Brontë men were evil and abusive and that’s all there is to those characters.” Say something interesting. I’m begging you

#yes this is about a class I’m in. what of it #There is a scene in Jane Eyre where Jane approached Rochester to ask him for leave for a few weeks to see her sick aunt #and he protests and makes a fuss out of it and he gives her a bunch of money and then takes it back and gives her less than he owes her #and if you read it in the strictest and least charitable fashion then you could say that Mr Rochester is an evil piece of shit who won’t #let Jane out of his sight and doesn’t give her what she’s due #but if you actually read it in the context of the book it’s so obvious that he’s joking around with her #and she’s ribbing him back in that same scene #because when you start out with the idea the Mr Rochester is an irredeemable monster and therefore everything he does is suspicious #you miss out on the very obvious fact that he and Jane are best friends! Their personalities gel perfectly #which is why they become so infatuated with each other #Saying ‘well Rochester didn’t give her all her money so he’s clearly manipulating and abusing Jane in this scene :(’ #is such an awful boring take that ignores what Charlotte spent hundreds of pages doing with these characters! #try having reading comprehension how about that #wuthering heights #jane eyre #the tenant of wildfell hall

[tapakah0]

do u know cass personally? or is this a tumblr friendship? cuz its the most wholesome thing ive seen in my life

I don't even know their real name ~ But if I will be told that I have an extra liver, I will know at the exact same second to whom give it.

#without jokes #I owe her so much #I'm pretty sure she doesn't understand how much #It was first days of college when I found this place #and I was having attacks of hatred towards this place due to the fact that it takes up all the time #and in the end I do not get anything useful from it. #I didn't even have powers on drawing something #I didn't know what to draw #head empty #and everything felt so... flat? #and BOOM #what do you mean it is the style that I love the most #what do you mean the main attention to the emotions #what do you mean it's a chaos #what do you mean I love this thing already #what do you mean the author of this story is so wonderful and funny and cool and so many adjectives #WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE MAKES KIND OF ANIMATICS THAT I LOVE THE MOST #*puts paws together* #I love animatics and I finally found a passion #I survived last year only because of her #honestly #I don't know what and how happened #but I don't want to change anything #I am so much grateful I don't know what else I can give to her I have nothing

[stuckinapril]

Cianna, is it so bad that I love Taylor's music? Can we stop hating people for what they love, what (for some people atleast) literally gives them the strength to live? Yes she has been celebrated way too much, but don't you think there's a reason behind it?

Have you heard of something called a personal opinion. Why do you need some random girl’s validation on Tumblr. Why not just enjoy her music despite opposing takes

#I’m not gonna forcefully go to your house and smash your phone to pieces so that you don’t listen to Taylor Swift #But this fandom needs to grow up and realize that if someone doesn’t like Taylor Swift it doesn’t make them the enemy #It just makes them… different???? #I am friends with people who don’t like my favorite artist #It’s not that deep why can’t you guys just choose to chuckle at it and keep it pushing #I’ve also been very impersonal about the actual fanbase / have criticized Taylor Swift far more than I have her fans #But this is my blog and I refuse to hold back on certain things I wanna talk about just because some of you guys think I owe you curation #I’m literally just a girl. Sorry #I’ve also clarified I don’t think it’s that deep to like her idk what you want from me

[harvestmoth]

okay last one. au where nothing goes wrong at all ever (a lie) and melia venam gay moment

#i like this game a normal amount (also a lie) #everyone should play now do it now please #pokemon rejuvenation #oh another thing about twitter. makes me sad i cant yell about things in the tags there like i always do because there are no tags there #if i wanted to id have to make it into a thread and im pretty sure people read those. so awful #i mean not that i say anything worthwhile here usually but still. no one reads this here. i could yell my thoughts if i had any #anyways about the au :] i have no idea how it would work #i have no thoughts ever at all i was just replaying the game and the one little line melia says at the picnic made me sad #the one where she says its her last day in gearen and asks the player to go with her to gdc #and then she just goes ah nevermind that was weird of me to ask #and no… wait come back… id love to go to gdc with you… :[ #and thats where that idea came from. idk where the rest of it came from though i think ive been cursed or somethinv #and also something something her saying shes afraid to go to gdc alone only for her to end up in the past also alone sometging something. ow #my thoughts are very coherent i promise (no they arent)

[demadogs]

as a gay swiftie i need to say it i fucking hate gaylors so much. the news of the split of her 7 year relationship came out yesterday and gaylor is already trending on twitter. it doesnt matter how huge of a status a person has STOP READING INTO THE SEXUALITY OF REAL HUMAN BEINGS!!!!!!

#if a real person comes out then woohoo celebrate thats so fun but STOP OBSESSING OVER THAT VISION THIS GOES FOR SO MANY CELEBRITIES #ARE FICTIONAL GAYS NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU???? #also i dont understand bc its just way more fun when its fiction??? like this shit was written intentionally its MEANT for analyzing #there was someone on tiktok i saw a while ago that would not shut up about her being a lesbian not even bi a lesbian- #as if she wasnt (at the time) in a happy relationship with a man #it makes me so mad like yes its possible she could be queer but she doesnt owe us a coming out or anything like that #stop being fucking weird #taylor swift #gaylor

[carefulfears]

the scully of fight the future who doesn’t want a career in the bureau at all if she can’t do it with him. who debated even telling him that she’s quitting in person, and feels like her loss won’t even make a difference: he doesn’t need her, she only holds him back. the scully who doesn’t even make it to the elevator. the way that as soon as he starts speaking, she goes silent. she can’t even respond. this is not a debate. tears just pour down her face, as he tells her that she owes nothing. that she has made her favorite person, a “whole” person. that she has saved him “a thousand times over.” and she stays completely silent. all she can do is cry, and hold him, and kiss his forehead. how small she must feel sometimes…being dragged from one spot to the next, following along. the way her face just collapses as she moves from holding onto his shoulder to pull him down to her. he breaks her open sometimes.

#she believes in him so much and she thinks he can save the world even if she moves on. and he’s so frustrated he’s almost angry #as he just spits out at her that she’s the entire reason he’s here. #‘i owe you EVERYTHING. scully…and you owe me nothing.’ #from the person she believed in so much she nearly lost her life to follow him!! whom she looked up to from her deathbed #and said take EVERYTHING i have left!!! my dignity my reputation my dying breaths take it ALL!!! #her ahab!! #and she owes nothing. she is everything. she matters. #and she’s been going back/forth with him every day for 5 years but she is rendered with nothing to say. #nothing to do but cry and hold him and hold him and hold him #make him bow his head to her so she can kiss it and try to absolve him. like he did her in that hospital hallway. #so much grief in being needed #it just says so much that the only time she ever considers leaving him is because she thinks SHE is bad for HIM. #and he tells her……i cannot do it without you. but i expect nothing from you anyway. #and being told she’s needed by her best friend reduces her to tears. no wonder. #txf.txt #ftf

[thatoneudguy]

I love Until Dawn (evidently) but omg everytime I play the game or think abt the game I end up feeling so gd sad. Like damn its bleak. Josh Washington genuinely has made me cry more times than I can count.

#until dawn #josh washington #joshua washington #its just the saddest thing ever #Id have it no other way of course #but like ow #its just tragedy after tragedy #theres no real comfort in any of the endings #josh always dies or becomes a monster #and he was doomed to that fate the second they made the choice to play that prank on hannah #theres literally nothing that could be done and it makes you feel so helpless #even in the best case scenario where the other 7 live they have to live with all that trauma and knowledge they cant share with anyone ever #their friends are dead. The Washington kids are dead and its all because of a stupid prank most of them played. #and with Sam she literally loses all her actual close friends #all of them just have to live with the guilt #UD has no happy ending for anyone and its so painfully depressing and thats why the story is good. It makes an impact. #god I love this stupid game sm

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Feeling a certain way about that latest bsd interview concerning Akutagawa and the treatment he suffered

(that way is bad.)

#I was concerned about this kind of thing tbh trying to think of how this whole dynamic could narratively go forward #I’m not encouraged that he’ll ever be called out now. #listen. the orphanage director thing I was fine with. It’s fine to cry over someone who hurt you #it’s fine to have learned things from abusers. guy was the only ‘parental’ figure atsushi ever had even if he sucked #and that it was dazai saying all this introduces a layer of uncertainty also #was uncomfortable with aya having ‘learned’ from her abusive father (but you know fair I guess we still pick up on #and recall things in stressful moments. you can still learn from people who treat you horribly and it doesn’t mean you owe them shit) #but this makes me very uneasy and I’m uh. not happy. if this shit keeps up I just. :/ #won’t main tag this rn #storyrambles

[freeasfishes]

I am often thinking how Shmi Skywalker, a woman who's legally the property of a bug, opens her home (which she doesn't even own due to she herself is owned by a bug) to two stranded Jedi and the queen of an entire planet and helps them get on their feet and back to safety and lets them gamble on her child and neither the Jedi order nor the planet whose queen was saved bothered to think "hey maybe we should go buy her freedom and set her up in a nice apartment somewhere." This has bothered me since childhood along with the fact that Yoda and Yaddle did not fuck.

#star wars #shmi skywalker #I love how the people in charge of starwars cant decide if the jedi and the whole galaxy are corrupt or not because it makes it realistic #i just think they owe shmi a pretty significant debt and the fact that some moisture farmer on tattooine bought her freedom #when the entire planet of Naboo or the entire Jedi Order #simply did not #well I think me personally if that was my mom I would have maybe turned evil as well not to excuse anakins behavior or anything #I just think that I would have -accidentally- kicked yoda in the head every time I walked past him #and Obi Wan for that matter like sir you owe my mother your life and you expect me to pay attention to your lessons #I think not! #I also would not have fallen in love with padme #thats a lie I would do anything for a beautiful woman

[skyderman]

nimona is such a beautiful movie about unflinching trans joy and queer as in fuck you. and also fuck the police.

as someone who isn’t familiar with the source material i was pleasantly surprised and nearly cried at the end

#nimona #i especially feel like i’ve seen more pro-cop shit in media lately so it was a nice change of pace #as a trans person ​so many of nimona’s earlier conversations with ballister are so familiar #i was totally expecting her to make herself smaller because that’s what i tend to do #but nimona really said fuck that #i don’t owe you an explanation #and i won’t change to make you more comfortable #thank you nd stevenson

[compacflt]

Would you ever consider writing about a different path Ice and Mav could take, one where they choose to leave the Navy and pursue a more open relationship and civilian life? Thinking it would be easier but maybe the sacrifice to their careers brings its own challenges?

(hi, jan 2024 me here, this was an ask that I answered when it was sent in in May 2023 & didn't post because I felt I actually answered it fictionally in the "icedad" one-shot the week after [and you can obviously see how these thoughts affected the writing of other pieces like "tremors & aftershocks"], but I still mostly agree with this take [though it's a little overgeneralizing] & I think it sums up a lot of my final "meta" modern-military-theory thoughts on ice & mav & their relationship, so im posting it now before I post the compacflt masterpoast)

see,… the thing is, i just… can’t see that happening!! i have no idea how to write that!!! Maybe i really do have a lack of imagination. But i can’t see that happening for a number of reasons. So short answer, no.

Long answer (and it’s long):

1. lame reason to start out, but it, uh, it’s canon that ice ends up at O-10 and mav ends up at O-6. not saying that im beholden to canon obviously (my mav ends up at O-7 and my ice ends up alive) but I do base my characterizations of them on the implications of the political struggles of both their careers so… taking away ice’s fourth star is basically starting from square one wrt my characterization of him. which is a lot of work. i could start from the beginning with a top gun 1986 ice who knows he’s gay—that would be a fun AU (i think other people than me have definitely done that better, though—I’m a one-trick pony). So if that’s what you mean then disregard the rest of this post. but if what you mean is a divergence from my existing work (i.e. homophobic/rank-climbing ice&mav) then… yeah, can’t see that happening, for further reasons below.

2. wrt my characterization of him: it’s based on a broad historical overview of armed service officers and the expectations of their careers. in my view, high-ranking officers aren’t after power—or maybe they started their careers wanting power, but somewhere down the line, it just becomes an expectation. if you do everything right and follow all the rules, you are expected by the institution to lead, whether you want to or not. That’s just the pipeline. at some point you start losing agency. which is what I mean when I keep saying ice doesn’t have a choice in advancing his career (besides the meta fact that this is fanfiction and canon demands that he have 4 stars lol)—high ranking military officers are continually and continually groomed for bigger and better positions; and the longer they spend in the military, the harder it is to leave that lifestyle for something else. And with ice’s canonical (and characteristically INTEGRAL, as I mentioned a week or so ago) refusal to rebel against the wishes of the navy as an institution, plus this historical expectation to lead placed upon the shoulders of excelling officers, I really do think ice is destined for four stars & nothing less, even if it gives him chronic depression. It’s his highest priority not because he wants it to be, but because…it just is. that’s how the institutionalized system of advancement in the military works. it just is. it has to be.

3. I mentioned in this post that I can’t ever see a foot in the door with them talking about their relationship unless maverick dies and is resurrected, and I feel the exact same way about them & their retirement plans. There’s a lot that ice and mav don’t talk about: the biggest one is obviously Goose’s death, the foundation of their relationship; but also their love for each other obv, what they did to rooster, AND their careers, which have to end at some point. Them talking about everything is totally inevitable, it was gonna have to happen eventually before they died, and I think one foot in the door MIGHT have been them eventually talking about retirement (someone sent in a prompt asking for this exactly & i am brainstorming it furiously) but before the Navy FORCES them to retire… i think they would studiously avoid talking about it. For a couple reasons: a) what does retiring with each other mean? living in the same house until they die together? hard to do if you’re just good friends. talking about retirement is tantamount to talking about Them. and b) what are they gonna do outside the navy? Ice has a lot of options, as I mentioned in the slider one-shot—general/flag officers are SUPER sought after in leadership/intelligentsia/management positions post service, so maybe if he were offered a crazy cool civilian position somewhere in San Diego in like the 2000s he would quit the navy for it… but what about maverick? I have no idea what a non-navy mav would do. Civilian airline pilot? Hoo boy. I think he’d hate that. I could maybe see emergency helicopter pilot, lol, or race car driver (i just watched days of thunder can you tell?) but none of the above offers the institutionalized honor the navy does (that, as a reminder, he *killed people* to obtain in the first place). I suggested his test piloting expertise would make him an attractive technical advising candidate to A&D companies like Boeing, LockMart, GD, etc. so that might be one option. But it might have been kind of a touchy subject for him before he racked up the expertise he’d need for those high-level civilian positions… the navy was kinda his only option. So they wouldn’t talk about it because it might hurt his feelings.

4. The biggest reason: again… open rebellion like rocking the boat by quitting the navy to be in an open long-term gay relationship, in upper mil brass ranks, and even retired upper mil brass ranks, just… isn’t done. And REALLY wasn’t done in the 2000s, when i think the scenario in this ask is positioned. And it’s not like “oh but whatever who cares about the navy, ice and mav are in love, they deserve to be happy no matter what, they should do what they want, fuck the navy…” no. Ice and Mav care about the navy. Clearly. Canonically. By necessity. The military requires cohesion and on some level repression of individuality & personal expression to FUNCTION, even when you’re retired. Yes, maverick certainly strains against that repression (which is why you Could spin top gun as an anti-military franchise if you were desperate enough), but he rebels through his ACTIONS (stupid plane maneuvers) not through his personal IDENTITY. his personal identity (headstrong overtly masculine white male pilot, whether gay or straight who cares) is NEVER challenged throughout the franchise (i.e. no one really challenges his masculinity specifically) & his personal identity does not POSE a challenge to the navy. Both he and ice in their outward-facing personal identities really fit in quite neatly to the navy’s overarching identity & contribute to the navy’s cohesion in a way that is favorable to both their careers and the establishment. Lack of imagination or not… i can’t see a universe in which Ice and mav would actively WANT to rock the boat and wreck the navy’s cohesion and their reputations for an open relationship and definitively rebellious personal identities, with the obvious caveat being Maverick’s death recontextualizing both their priorities (yes we’re in love AND we’ve finally proven ourselves to be ultra-capable officers regardless of our sexuality so no one has a license to judge us anymore etc.).

And also, they’re not enlisted seamen. Nor are they mediocre officers who have the luxury of fading into obscurity. Things are different when you’re that high in the ranks, and when your job publicly matters more. sorry, but even post DADT (probably until about biden’s election), an open relationship would end their careers. They might not be fired, but they’d never be promoted again. Too much of a liability getting subordinates to still respect them, from the higher-ups’ perspective, especially if there are other qualified candidates who fit the navy’s core identity better. Like—sorry. This is such a jaded oversimplification. But if you rock the boat like that (i.e. break the service’s united front to be individualistic in a way that does not match the service’s overarching identity), from the perspective of your officer peers, you simply are a bad officer. Being an open individual in a job where you are required to fit in and represent your service is not your job. You are not doing your job well. Straight-up. Even if you’re retired. I met US Army 4-star gen. David Petraeus (retired obv) in February—he led the successful-ish surge in iraq and Afghanistan in the mid-2000s—and he’s STILL a laughingstock for his disastrous affair with his biographer a decade ago, even after he retired from AD service. That’s what people remember him for, not the fact that he was one of our only successful commanders in any of our Middle East campaigns.

Something like that might be one of ice and mav’s worst fears—being known for their affair/scandal instead of the institutionalized honor they’ve fought and killed for. That kind of thing just Isn’t Done. It's bad taste. You have to keep it quiet. If you’re an officer representing the service, you have to represent it well & according to the service’s preconceived identity, even in retirement. (see, for another shitty example of "not fitting in" even in retirement, Lt. gen. Mike Flynn [his whole scandal is actually kinda geopolitically relevant to my fic if you squint lol] whom everyone fucking hates)

To summarize: i hope I’m not mischaracterizing your ask when i reframe it like this—would you ever write ice and mav without the institutionalized pressure to advance in rank and conform to institutional norms?

and yes, I would (and will if you ask—it looks like this: ice & mav meet & fall in love & it’s boring and fine. end of story), but I guarantee you someone else already has. I’m all about interrogation of institutional norms here. And i think until maverick dies & comes back from the dead, there is absolutely no *REALISTIC* incentive for ice & mav to leave the navy and/or have an open relationship. Like it’s just not possible. Idk how else to say it.

#which is like the whole point of my fic right. this is exactly what im trying to say with the story as a whole #these are flawed institutions stuck in their ways and ice as an officer REPRESENTS that flawed institution stuck in its ways #until real life (maverick dying) gets in the way and makes him reevaluate his priorities #and the truth is—his 1st priority (loving maverick) is absolutely incompatible with his 2nd priority (advancing his naval career) #for the reasons listed above #so he quits! #but just because he quits doesn’t mean he doesn’t still represent the navy! that’s the curse of officership #per the slider oneshot: You can’t ever retire once you get any stars. #unfortunately in a realistic world Ice really DOES owe the navy his discretion. that’s how it works. #tom iceman kazansky #pete maverick mitchell #top gun #top gun maverick #icemav #asks #edts notes #the thing with petraeus though is that his affair was notable bc he leaked a bunch of classified info to her #so not the best example but it was still cool (in like a oh you’re a historical figure sense) to meet him so I’m bragging abt it #(see tweet I just added) #additionally: the military is changing! in this universe it would be young upstart officers like rooster/hangman who contribute #to the liberalization of military officer culture! #but that kind of change Is Not happening in the 50s-60s cadre of upper level officers. At all. Ice included. #anon let me know if this wasn’t what you meant in your ask. #& feel free to disagree/argue with me this is just my view #lol the DOD just banned drag shows in the military #^ these tags are 7 months old now

[mag200]

the dream self is NOT always true but haunts you ALWAYS. if you were wondering!!!!

#this post is about me having a dream i hugged my aunt too tight and she had to say ‘okay ow relax’ #but when i told her about it she said ‘i would never do that! hug me tighter!!!’ so anyway #make of that what you will

[maingh0st]

@belabellissima's tags on this post deserve a post of their own, i—

#muffled screaming YOU GET IT #i think the ghost watched jude pull the riskiest gambles and repeatedly come out on top— #bloodied but with what she wanted—and was like. oh shit. she's not just a spoiled gentry kid #so taryn shows up and it's like. hm. yikes. there might be two of them #i'm not sure i subscribe to the idea that he fell for her while she was married to locke #(i think his feelings toward locke had to be so ugly that taryn would've gotten wrapped up in that at least a bit) #but i do think he never underestimated her #and had he not been otherwise occupied. i think he immediately would've noticed her posing as jude #i know holly is trying to telegraph romantic interest at the end of qon with him watching her #but i read it more like “you're a potential bomb that could detonate at any moment; there's no way in hell i'm taking my eyes off you” #she knows his TRUE NAME #he owes her his life #but i think that level of suspicion and vigilance would very naturally become fascination and admiration #she's lovely and kind but crafty and underhanded all at the same time #she's just human enough to make him ache. but she's just fae enough to accept him #oops this got long #anyways bela LOVE your tags thank u for giving me thoughts to chew on #tfota #the folk of the air #taryn duarte #taryn x the ghost #tcp