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detransraichu · 6 months

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why did i think i was trans? how did i delude myself? it's complicated.

hiya. i'm a butch lesbian woman who was confused since i was 12 year old ish and thought i was transgender -- mostly nonbinary though with some periods where i thought i was a trans guy -- up until 2022. many factors played in that whole mess that went on in my brain and my life. i'm going to be putting it ic because it's ridiculously long :') but feel free to reply etc. i hope stories like mine can make people feel less alone in these experiences and maybe help pain like mine be prevented. i want trans people to be respected while also doing what is best for society and women's rights too.

anyway. here's my story.

to preface, my feelings about transness in general -- i do love many trans people, i saw all the good parts their community has. i still think i do believe in gender dysphoria and sometimes surgeries/hrt being required to help people be safe and happy, but i think alternate routes need to be explored and we need to push for people to unpack their internalized misogyny and homophobia BEFORE they label themselves. the mix of LGB and TQ has created a lot of infighting. with homosexuality it's behavior-driven, attraction-driven, but with being trans it's an identity thing and a disconnect in the brain, it pushes you to change your body or presentation in some way, or ask others to alter how they naturally would treat you with different terms or pronouns. i think there will be more and more detransition stories like mine, the numbers will grow bigger and bigger unless something urgently happens. bc the trans community does NOT or at least VERY RARELY tells someone to slow down the questioning of their gender identity, they do NOT ever question anything, they don't look for internalized sexism in how people describe their gender, they don't do the work to unpack that stuff in their community. and that's just straight up dangerous.

so yeah. how did i get here? honestly i think part of why i thought i was trans was bc i wanted to fit in and i saw the gender euphoria in other ppl and was like wow i want a feeling like that. and honestly in my personal case it was just me having fun doing drag and lowkey cosplaying as male characters i was obsessed with in media. and my DID added to it too bc i would sometimes dissociate and feel that part of me was male or genderless and that's not bc those parts of me were trans that's bc they are a manifestation of my traumas!!! on top of my eating disorder, dysmorphia and psychosis. i really wish ppl i talked to as a teen on tumblr hadn't jumped to "omg you hate your body? you wish you were a boy under patriarchy? you have suuuch trans vibes bestie you'll make the perfect lil softboy uwu" bc then i was extremely lonely at school and at home and just felt soooo excited at the attention i felt happy to fit in, and honestly even my "dysphoria" after that was that i looked like other trans ppl and i thought they were the coolest, i just felt deep admiration. and then i'd show pics online and ppl would hype me up just bc i identified as trans. so then it snowballed into me feeling terrified to go out bc i was scared i'd get misgendered since i was visibly afab and all my friends were trans and very toxic sjw stereotype so i saw cis people as toxic and untrustworthy and i got to write angsty posts about it that got somewhat popular which i loved bc i'm a writer and i loved to fantasize and imagine a sense of justice alongside other warriors... not unlike how i felt joining into the trans community. when deep down i knew i was being the annoying little sister trying to gain older kids's approval and trailing behind lol. the first trans person i met online was this awesome trans guy who did photography and he was a good bit older and i just wanted to look like him so bad so that he would like me. he ended up ghosting me. but i was still obsessed w him so i looked up trans stuff and fell in head first without even a questioning phase :/ which is 100% on me of course! i was just a very impulsive kid and the trans ppl around me lived in this big colorful world full of identities and drama and unconditional support... but i do wish someone had slowed me down and showed me alternate paths, the path of just being gnc.

i was also like. okay i know i'm queer but idk how, but i want to be in this community bc i'm so lonely (as a baby dyke). so i looked at the most opposite identity ever and gay trans man was the furthest away i could go from myself & my gay attraction & my body & my female masculinity. i was constantly dissociated, constantly. i was living in my yaoi fantasies lol like the "perfect" romance bc it wasn't hetero stuff which had scary power dynamics, and it also wasn't lesbian bc that hit too close to home and i'd start to have panic attacks. so i avoided those, tho sometimes i'd read fanfics w a side lesbian relationship.... but pretended to hate them and not care at all. that was actually part of me accepting my attraction to women, like moving slowly over to lesbian ships in fanfics and finally seeing what it would be like. it felt too good. so then i repressed it again or only showed my lesbian attraction when flirting with men online lol. bc of course there needed to be a voyeur, otherwise it's too real and gross and bad. tfw trauma and internalized lesbophobia.

but yeah anyway me obsessing over yaoi really made me think of boys very fondly -- always boys, never men -- and feel this deep warm happy feeling in my stomach. thinking of two boys together was total equality bc there was no woman involved, so no misogyny or weird "too real" feelings. if it had a woman i'd eventually have a total freakout bc i would keep pretending i was the guy in that scenario, which was BAD bc it made me sound like a DYKE. and boys had an actual personality (bc there very few genuine complex female characters at the time so they were all dumb or mean or bland) and they could do sooo much more than girls could so they were Better somehow. but of course if u say boys are better you're a misogynist, so i wanted to BE a boy so i could talk about how much i loved boys. and i loved boys bc i admired them. i wished i could be a "more male" version of a girl. i wanted to embody maleness so that i could create myself a better girlhood. and not even call it girlhood, so it was even cooler. i didn't want to be like the other girls, who were all loser straight boy crazy bullies. or even if there were cool girls with me, they would just annoy me (bc i was always depressed and exhausted from mental illness and untreated disabilities and it made me irritable). so yeah. boys were it. specifically boys bc men sounded almost triggering from my misogyny trauma. like men are the kind that hurt you. but boys are soft and sweet and special and harmless. they're the right kind of male person. the good ones. and they have such vivid relationships with one another and are such complex beings, unlike girls. and now that i'm a boy i'm gonna be the boy with the best morals and no toxic masculinity whatsoever, just a soft little uwu bean with a soft beautiful very typically girly flat chest, like an afab person before puberty, and no facial hair of course except for maybe a slightly lower voice and less fat (i thought it was good riddance at the time bc i was anorexic lol so that just reinforced it). i had this perfect image of myself. but it was always wavering, so i would never feel fully secure in my gender identity but i also couldn't lose my grip and question that i'm not nonbinary/trans bc then i'll have to accept that i'm an afab lesbian with a boring ass female gender. and i would have to disappoint everybody, and worst of all make them look bad for detransitioning.

but yeah.... i actually am feeling less bad abt just being a bland woman. like i don't need to be special, i can blend in and people won't hurt me bc i'm a loser like in highschool. normality and domesticity are blissful actually, like i'm Just A Girl and i'm basic af or whatever. but there's other boring, gnc girls, and they're cool but they're also in the highschool situation of being "not the kind of girl that gets asked out and family is kinda broke and not noticeably pretty and has failing grades and untreated disorders so therefore an even bigger loser." so yeah i wanted to be different. to be noticed and thought about, and go against the grain. ie, cishet normative things. usually secretly, but then at some point i came out to my family and they got transphobic but also just said gross things to me that made it so that even if i had been wobbly on my identity i now didn't trust them to talk about it so i just repressed feelings and held onto a trans identity even harder. but then i started thinking of girls a LOT and envying lesbian women. who didn't have to worry about gender stuff, and also got to be gay in a way that... suddenly i noticed could be cool too. i had never allowed myself to notice it. but then i did. and i freaked out bc i was dating someone who wasn't a woman kgdkjgk and it felt transphobic af so i just resolved myself that i MUST be trans.

i was deep in the closet lesbian-wise and my brain tricked itself bc i just wasn't ready to accept being a lesbian. i just wasn't. i've only become ready this year!! and that's around the time that my ex broke up w me (or well we both came to the conclusion that i'm a lesbian so being w them would be wrong, and that it turns out they're only into men/enbies). and then i tried to be nonbinary again bc i wanted to get back w them so bad but then i realized it just wasn't me, and i started getting comfy w gay womanhood. and i came to terms with being a single butch lesbian!!! i'm so much better now that i'm radically accepting myself. it was a LOOONG stressful upsetting journey bc i wasn't being myself. but now i am being myself. and i'm clumsy af and kinda dumb and SUUUUPER inexperienced as both a girl loving girls and also just an adult woman in general. like being an adult woman is HARD and idk what i'm doing and i'm barely scraping by and i'm so behind everyone else. but now i gotta deal with it, actually deal with my issues :/ no more internalized lesbophobia & misogyny!! society often defeminizes girls like me and takes womanhood away from marginalized women but no!!! i'm still a woman. i'm weird but i'm just a weird woman and that's fine. some girls are freaks and weirdos and something different but not the differences that were considered "cool" on leftist tumblr as whichever community is most oppressed and has the most funky flags and ultra-microlabels. and i'm sorry to say, it's embarrassing as hell. but i did fetishize transness. i did think of trans people as unironically cooler than regular non-bigoted close-minded cis people, more interesting, better morality, cooler, smarter, etc. and i wanted to make friends and trans/enby online communities were super vibrant in fandom spaces that i was in. so yup. there it is. i'm a trans faker actually, though i was super out of it during it all, i wasn't doing it consciously. i just was ignoring my true identity, being a butch lesbian woman. it's so sad that i felt the need to repress myself like this, it breaks my own heart to think about it. but i did repress myself. i was soooo cruel to myself and was bigoted towards myself. but never again. never again!!! nope sir!!!

another thing -- i think i also used having a trans/nonbinary identity as a way to have an excuse to go no-contact with my abusive family. i was told they were bigots for being vaguely supportive but confused about trans stuff and struggling with the vocabulary and sudden identity discourse, asking embarrassing questions (that i had no answers for bc i wasn’t actually trans but ofc real trans people would) when i told them i was a boy so i get to use that as a reason not to talk to them. bc otherwise they just would never leave me alone. at least that’s how i rationalized it lol. so yeah. here i am. a complete doofus, with very little bit of stubble coming out of my chin that i have to shave daily. and a slightly transmasc-typical voice. i completely blew it, i repressed being a lesbian soooo deeply even though my family wasn't even that homophobic, all things considered, so i definitely could've lived as my true self. i was just ashamed and stubborn and believed all the things in the media and from homophobes. and thought ppl would be scared of me bc the only other lesbian in school was a creep. idk. it's all so embarrassing. but there ya go.

#lay text #my journey #detrans #detransition #radfem #gender critical #ok to rb

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jennyandvastraflint · 4 months

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Xena Reactions S1Ep22!

Callisto???? 👀

We start on a tiny white child being traumatised

OH IS THIS CALLISTO RIDING

Are there twins??

Oh she's very sexy

Not sure I'm a fan of the clearly designed for the male gaze armour... But the lesbian bit of me is like Women pretty

She pretends to be Xena? Is she Xena's EX!? 👀 (Not saying she's Vella-coded, but she so is. Without knowing more about Callisto than this)

Uh oh. Callisto is tainting her reputation

Awww, his son died... And they got to go

GABRIELLE'S LIL SCRUNKLY FACE

"I used to WANNA see that look" AAAH

AHAHAHA THIS GUY??? 😂 He's gonna be a recurring character, right?

Oh he jumped her. Xena fightyyy

She tied him up sjdjd

Oof those are a lot of people tied up...

She's sick of everyone's bullshit

OH THERE SHE IS. HELLO CALLISTO

They fightinggg

OH Callisto wounded her 👀

"You made me" Innnnteresting

OH CALLISTO SHOT HER LAST EPISODE

"I never kill women and children" "Well. You have now."

XENA GOES TO SAVE GABRIELLE

Cirra, hu... Means something to Xena

Gabrielle is ready to beat this guy up with her staff

Damn Callisto got fighting skillsss

"Everything, just as you wanted" O_O

Callisto is SMART. She knows how Xena works.

"People don't fear worthless idiots" shdhdh

UH OH Callisto wants to kidnap Gabrielle...

Gabrielle 🤝 Jenny: getting kidnapped a bunch of times

"Xena's weapon will be found in the oracle's skull" Niiiice...

Gabrielle is so sweet

"You'd feel the same way if you lost what I did"

GABRIELLE SITS BY XENA'S SIDE. She opens up about Cirra!

Xena cries :(

"I don't blame her" "I do." HUAGHHH, Cycle of violence!

"If something happened to mother... Or to you"

PROMISE ME IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO ME YOU WILL NOT BECOME A MONSTER AAAAAHHHHH

Xena 🤝 Vastra their partner being their moral compass

"No, you promise me" "I promise" THE PAIN IN GABRIELLE'S FACE? XENA SPEAKING SOFTLY???

Hehe, Gabrielle is beating him up.

"You made me mad now" Please he's so incompetent

"YOU BROKE MY CROSSBOW >:O"

Gabrielle is skilled af

Oh is this the oracle

UH OH. CALLISTO

Xena stopped it!

DID CALLISTO JUST HISS HAHDHSHS VELLA-CODED AF

OH NO Callisto is drawing her away as a distraction while her men kidnap Gabrielle, isn't she

SHE JUST TACKLED HER OFF THE HORSE

She tied her up XD

"I'm sorry" "Oh well. That makes all the difference. :)"

Gabrielle <3

"Her heart is being eaten away by hatred" HUAAA

"I will dedicate my life to killing everything you love" UH OH. GABRIELLE

Callisto is suuuch a little shit

"Xena~ They're coming" pls

"Why not let them have me? It's the easy way out. No one would blame you." 👀

Please can this guy stop... SHE PUNCHED HIM

"It's like a family tradition" Nepo Warlord without skills

"Ha, goTCHA NOW" THONK

Omfg... Not the fire! "I won't be screaming out like my sister" Oh she is proper TRAUMATISED

SHE LOCKED XENA IN INSTEAD

What's with the hissing

NOOO SHE KIDNAPPED GABRIELLE

Sjdjdsh she jumped through the roof...

*GRABS THE GUY* Oh fuck. Xena is PISSED Callisto stole her gf

Uh oh, she tied her up...

"I softened her up for her" ddhdhdh He's so silly

Callisto if you hurt one hair on Gabrielle's head, Xena will MURDER you

"I want her DEAD!" Oh she's sooo blinded by hatred

Yeah Callisto better not harm Gabrielle further, you have no idea what you have unleashed (or maybe she does and wants Xena to become evil)

The kick strength Callisto has?

DAMN. that ladder trick?

Holy shit that looks unstable

They're seesawing...

She just yeeted Callisto up and got Gabrielle there

"No! Let it burn" UH

Xena is NOT about to let her die

"The right thing to do. That's what they think" Yeah well we KNOW you'll come back XD

#in a bad place mentally rn so might as well continue Xena #v watches xena #xena warrior princess #xena and gabrielle #xena callisto

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gloopdimension · 5 months

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YESSS I want u to envision dedusmuln fluffing their feathers up and becoming unsinkable

And for gorma yesss I see the helmet for mine as like. Shedding change, they can but it leaves them v vulnerable (also thinking that the helmet change was also bc grew in size after leaving the vault thanks 2 more oxygen/nutrients for growth. The base ideas are rn: Pongorma -> basically evolution stuffed in one entity, some processes that would take generations are all shoved into one, so "quick" adaptability that translates in growth (so he couldnt shrink, only grow more, thin down if locked again) once removed the armour her fur got thicker and also a lil electrically charged (metal particles added 2, ill elaborate eventually) connected 2 gibby in a way Dedusmuln-> Race made for survivability! He's got a thick thick fat layer that protects from external climate, plus the feathers, eats semi liquid food tho that filtrates perfectly down to the last particle, leaving very few things to Eject. Very good defensive capabilities also Wayne-> social race, quite sensible thanks to bony antennas, which form actually solid at the stage wayne and Decres are at, before they are mostly carthilax as larvae, and more "united". Old Wayne is basically beehive queen, they can communicate w the larvae better than w wayne/decres tho. It's like the Leaving Nest Stage etc Somsnosa-> v adept for the world's "magic" mostly bc she can control the flux v well, she has like a great great control over her body n powers, especially when they get around them in hylics 2. Durable, she's got little little little fuzz all over her body that can sense stuff too, like less sensitive cat whiskers. I think her "specie" is more rare, hence why she's alone, (compared to gorma being actually something more unique ). Her flow control allows her to gather and expend power more efficiently see bug squashing, which then teaches wayne and the others too. in short, she can learn stuff very, very quickly Also I kinda headcanon mine 2 be kind of all hermaphrodites, they choose how to present themselves but like, there's potential 4 anything.

sorry for the huge dump this one was a WALL TEXT HHFGF

NO THIS IS FUUUCCKING AWESOME GGRGRGAAAAAAAAAAA oouuuuu im suuuch a huge fan of all of these i am such such such a hge fan

#i havent got anything to add on but i do adooore what u came up with Oourrrrgg!!!!!#asks #gloop thots #<- not my own but theyre reaalllyyyllylyy good

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kurjakani · 3 months

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It's really interesting watching this show actually bcs hatered. Is an emotion I actualky kind of struggle with... understanding? I have experienced it for sure but not often in quite a few years. And when I did experience it a lot, when I was a teenager, I don't remember that. I recently remember one time when I felt hatered. But it happens really rarely, even when I think I should be feeling it. Idk if my brain just produces those chemicals very sparingly. Like ofc i can dislike things and disagree and think someone is awful but like the Experience Of The Emotion Doesnt Rise Up. It's kind. Of delicious tho when it does happen. There's suuuch a pleasure to it like a tasty tasty fever in the pit of your stomache. The weird part is I think it borders on the same sensation I get from love. Just this absolute. Force that I want to radiate like all at once at someone until they only leave behind their shadow. I want them to feel so good and so bad at the same time. And it makes my jaws clench. I dont feel like this is theee same experienge of hatered that these bitches have tho and I do wonder where my lil brain chemistry has gone wrong w how to experienge hatered

#kanitalk #kani liveblogging #show:pluto #nofting makes sense in this but whatevs

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turntabless · 4 months

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hi love!!!!

The Colour and the Shape by Foo Fighters

🔮 the colour and the shape - foo fighters 🔮

welcome back to turntable takes!!! this week we have a request sent from the wonderful, absolutely lovely @lord-of-the-weird !! love you darling <3 things in my life kinda exploded so i am getting to this waaaaayyyyy too late, but here we are!

genres: alternative rock, grunge, hard rock, punk rock

doll

ohhhhh. the soft vocals through that crackly radio filter in the beginning is so beautiful? and the soft strumming of the guitar is so perfect. ‘doll me up in my bad luck / i’ll meet you there’ is suuuch an intriguing line. the introduction of the drums being louder and then backing off as the clear vocals come in? insane. BASS pretty yummy wowowow. god i swear i wanna eat these vocals. oooooooo soft to RASPY!!!

monkey wrench

OH FUCK this one is immediately different!!! huuuuuge guitar moment at the very beginning of it! such a masterful change in tone and tempo. THE FULL STOP. GOD YEAH. these lyrics and the riff that reappears in between the lines??? yum yum yum. i swear the little bit of whine in dave’s voice especially during the chorus is soooooooo lovely it’s so perfect for the song i think especially when his voice is so raspy for a lot of the song??? OHHH stripped back layered vocals on the ‘temper’ repeated lines?? DAVE SCREAMING? god this fucks!!!! so cathartic!!!!! and right back to the chorus??? perfect. the drums are so solid and the bass and guitar work so well together this FUCKS! adore the repeating ‘fall in fall out’ parts!!

hey, johnny park!

ohoHO drum breakdown to begin. scrumptious. guitars joining in sooooo well with so much crunch??? lovely. OOOOO stripping back the heavy guitars dave’s voice is SHINING with the strumming guitar n full bass. drums there just enough to notice and love. BACK to the heavier instrumentals with soft vocals that move into rasp??? WHEW. also these lyrics hurt as well!!! it’s such an emotive album so far but it’s SO good? OH little falsetto moment in the layered backing vocals. TRULY living for the slight whine in his voice i’m TELLING you. oooooooo cute lil guitar moment. the lead is so Clear and it’s just breaking out of the muddy bass and rhythm. DRUM BREAK AGAIN. RASPIER HEAVIER VOCS this is insane!

my poor brain

oh SHUT UP fade in to this song????? INCREDIBLE. that was SICK!! chaotic distortion of the instrumental and then a quick flip to soft strumming and a nice bassline??? HIGHER VOCALS that kinda melt into the instruments a little bit??? TO HARD HEAVY GUITAR BASS DRUMS and then BACK TO SOFT????????? FOO FIGHTERS ULTIMATE KINGS OF SWITCHING UP THE VIBE !!!! AGAIN this heavy chorus is INSANE and tbh… the drums are doing it for me so much. OOO cute lil electrical/phone(?) noises during a screaming breakdown. lead guitar higher just melting into the mud of the bass n drums so nicely. ‘sometimes i wish that i could change / i can’t save you from my poor brain’ oowwwwwwwwww. this ending instrumental fucks!

wind up

OH. OH YOURE KIDDING. yummy yummy warbling guitar with heavy drums and a SICK riff. this melody too is so cool with the little descending notes?? yum. SCREAM BABYGIRL. truly this is really cool to see how they play with pitch and melody to set the tone??? because the chorus is a bit softer and the instrumentals are more stripped back. DISTORTION AGAIN OOOOOIHHHJ i love when guitar starts Bleating at me like it’s truly TRULY A FAVOURITE THING. MORE SCREAMING GO BABE !!!!

up in arms

oooooooooo fuzzy guitar immediately yummy. soft!!!! slightly echoey vocals and a Very grungy feel with the music until they get stripped back again. yummmmmmm the fuzz is so nice. NO FUCKING WAY. DRUM BREAKDOWN INTO FASTER HARDER GUITAR THIS FUCKS!!!! his voice still between soft n hardcore it’s so scratching the brain. THE WHINE. FUCK YEAHHHHHH. MMMHM. oooooo FUCK GUITAR SOLO THIS FUCKS. feels like a teen movie tbh. niiiiice stripped back ending with some drum beats to break it up

my hero

DRUMS BASS SHINING IMMEDIATELY. THIS IS INSANELY GOOD FOR ME. oooo sexy lil riff. the chorus and the construction of the melody is so intriguing and the lyrics KILL. emotional guitar and you can feel it in the vocals so well!! oooooh. the lil turn of the guitar going slightly flat was such a yummy choice. nah this is so COOL. TEMPO INSTRUMENTAL VOCALS PICKING UP FOR SOME HEAVINESS. scrumptious. this lil ascending riff is sooooo good. oooooo distorted guitar noodling to finish it

see you

acoustic???? moment????? oooooo this is insane. this feels SO GOOD. oh my god. BASS IS SO CLEAR THIS IS IT FOR ME. whine is back and i’m so happy but he has such range and control on these vocs??? oooo instruments picking up slightly. lil more distortion. stripped back down. is this an upright bass also??? it sounds so much like one i’m not sure. LAYERED VOCALS LETS GO!!!! this is really pretty actually :’)

enough space

DISTORTION LETS GOOOOO i love songs that start with some funky noises. SHUT UP THIS BASS IS SO FAT N CRUNCHY this is for ME! heavy guitars let’s GO!!! we’re so back <3 OH that bass is so fucking clear i love it here. scrumptious. RASP YELL SCREAM !!!!! yeah yeah yeahhhhhh. nah they’re tooooo good at switching the tempo. chorus is when shit starts picking up and it reaches that crescendo and is stripped back so immediately after and soooooo well. looooove this guitar as well. insane. so warbled and muddy. fucks HARD all throughout. sharp cut off. great.

february stars

stoooooop are you fucking with me???? isolated piano???? soft vocals????? LAYERED VOCALS?????????? guitar entered. bASS THERE YOU ARE. THE SOOOOOFT SOFT DRUMS so sharp n perfect. YES okay we’re getting more clear slightly rougher but still so stripped back. it’s so intriguing to me how versatile this band is!!! also these lyrics are making me SAD !!!!!!! god my love for this bass in this album cannot be overstated. SHUT UP THEY PICKED IT UP ITS SO GRUNGE POWER BALLAD. SLIGHT DISTORTION ON THE GUITARS SO GRIMY SO BEAUTIFUL. goated lyrics i’m in love.

everlong

ooooooooo. OHHHHH. bass drums guitar absolutely melting together beautifully?? the start is so dark and velvety and it progressively gets a little sharper. druuuuums. gorgeous. and these lyrics might actually kill me im SO SAD. also wowow the whine is so back!! also booold choice of including what sounds like vocalizing with the other instruments and it absolutely worked. this is so truly cathartic i’m gonna go scream sing this to myself at 3am. WHISPERING THROUGH THE RADIO FILTER WITH BASS N GUITAR AND THEN IT ABSOLUTELY BREAKS INTO SOARING INSTEUMENTALS AGAIN. come ON!!!! CHORD TO END IT. ohgh.

walking after you

acoustic guitar strumming beautifully with just the loveliest lyrics. there’s something along with the guitar that’s just a little darker and deeper and it does feel so nice. very grunge very beautiful. cymbals slowly phasing in. yummy. they sneak up and its beautiful!!! these vocals too are so insane to me. so gentle so evocative!!! they truly can do it all. why is my heart breaking at this album i haven’t even gone through a breakup like ?!!?!! sorry again so entranced by these cymbal runs. yum. guitar is nice and jangly at some parts but so soaring and clear too?? god.

new way home

WE ARE BACK EVERYBODY!!! fun lil electric guitar riff with some western jangle in it. love. love how raspy n beautiful the vocals are. this sounds much more alt rock than some of the other ones and that is COOL i love it!!!! fun lil bass lines in my eeaaarrrrssssss. so good. oh???? OH?????? whispering with almost completely stripped back instrumental. gradual crescendo with some light higher strumming of a guitar??? this is SICK???? OH SHIT THEYRE SPEEDING UP!!!! TEMPO CHANGE FOLKS!!!! SCREEEAMMM IT OUT WOOOOO!!!! this is so COOL!!! once again insanely evocative but it feels like acceptance to me which is so fascinating and SUCH A WAY to start closing out the album. OOOOOOOOOO lower pitched guitar just beautifully playing and soaring so clearly above the instrumental. FADE OUT !!! LIFE CHANGED!!!!

the colour and the shape

HIGH DISTORTED NOODLING GUITAR TO LOW. SCREAMING. BASS IS INSANE HERE. GOD WHAT????? this is so SICK??? LET IT OUT BESTIE !!!! GOD drums also insane right now just loud enough to be caught and it’s melding so well with everything. CYMBALS. woooooow!!! SHAPE SHAPE SHAPE SHAPE SHAPE!!!! okay i know i said acceptance but this is FULLY a fit of anger and i LOVE IT!!! ohhhhohoho. feedback from the guitar to fade us out. INSANE. ENERGIZING. BATSHIT. wow.

thoughts: foo fighters truly kings of changing up the tone and brightness of the song. like fully switching from gentle strumming and piano to fully-fledged hard rock. muddy grimy guitars and bass to light and flowing power ballad moments. screaming to falsetto!!! how. wonderful. also they’re just so intriguing and creative with riffs and melodies that it’s so lovely to listen and see where the song goes! this album is truly breakup album ever. WOW. thank you kk for changing my neurochemical structure.

#turntable takes <3 #send some album requests!!! <3 #the colour and the shape #foo fighters #the foo fighters #album review #album recs #spotify

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caguaydreams · 1 year

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JOTAHAN FANWORKS IS A03???

I DONT KNOW HOW TO USE THE WEBSITE SO LIKEE-

CAN U LINK SOME OF THEM

A fellow Jotahan enjoyer is DESPERATE for the crumbs. The time has come, I shall unveil my true nature in order to lend you a hand. We'll survive this together, Anon!

Ohhh boy, where to even begin. I know the bewildering absolute lack of fanart out there and my comment about crumbs might sound discouraging, and could make it seem like a worse situation than it actually is. But do not fret! AO3 got ur back! (I must apologise in advance for rambling, but honestly many of these fics are amazing and I owe their writers my life. Feel free to scroll down to the bit where I put the links to fics, lists, and authors that sometimes carry this ship on their backs).

I'm gonna list a bunch that I've recently been bookmarking in the website, as part of my months long personal crusade to read every single Jotahan work up there, and I'm kinda halfway through now I think, so I've got the stuff. Currently, there's a total of 393 Jotahan fics on the Archive, not all of them are the best quality, naturally, but that's okay, because the good fics are— and I'm gonna stress this out— The. Shit. Some Jotahan writers are wonderful masters of their craft, to the point you'll most likely eventually forget that, canonically, Rohan and Jotaro barely even exhange a few words in the first place! There is utterly delightful, suuuch delectable material here; fics that made the ship for me and elevated it from lol funny crackship to one of my top tier favorite romances/relationships of all time, in all of media, period.

You'd think, initially, that authors have to do some crazy acrobatics to settle on how they'd go about fulfilling the task of feeding dying starving suckers like me; how they'd go about making a relationship between these characters believable and feasible. But! surprisingly, there have come to be actual tropes in Jotahan narratives, stemming from how oddly natural their dynamic flows when you just give it some thought. My brain decided to conclude one day, that this is sorta like stepping into different possibilities of how Rohan and Jotaro would hit it up, because some fics can be quite similar in their approaches, but nonetheless distinctive and remarkable all the same. These characters can work SO well together, for better or worse, that there's no questioning it anymore for me. You'll understand, or maybe not (maybe you already do) but regardless I think you'll have fun checking these out!

So without further ado, and before I go on an errand of an essay about how this ship deserves more love and attention than it gets, I'm gonna drop the links. I know AO3 can look messy or be intimidating for people who are not familiar with the interface, but the first thing that will come in handy is knowing about pairing tags: your typical character/character tag that is often the first one you see following the title of a fic. If its got the characters of your preference, click on it, and you'll be sent to all the works in the Archive that feature that tag . You can start browsing for goodies from there! here's the tag to the huge assortment of fics starring the couple of mildly disfunctional adults that we want to see together.

And here is a lil bit of my latest (on-going) effort to build up a personal list of favorites and must-reads:

Underneath Perfection by Shorktooth ; I'm gonna be biased, because this one right here is my absolute. favorite. Nothing comes close. I'm even getting a little emotional by barely thinking about it. Actually, not entirely sure, but it was the fic that first sold me on this pairing when I wanted to give it a chance. Get-together fic, fairly long but definitely worth it. Not tedious, very fun, lots of variety, lots of incredibly sweet moments, it's a good deal all around. Of course there are little details here and there that keep it from being perfect, but they're minor and insignificant when viewing the whole picture. Much respect for how the author handles these characters, the progression of events, the story's pacing, and overall how organic everything feels; how natural. There are a bunch of scenes that have been embedded in my mind for months, and bits of dialogue I even reference and feel are strongly akin to what Jotaro or Rohan would actually say, even if this is fanwork. Okay, okay, I'll stop here because I'm saving my final thoughts for when I finish reading this story; Stone Ocean's animated adaptation must reach its end first. This fic follows Rohan and Jotaro across parts 4 to 6 of JJBA, so if anyone's avoiding spoilers they might have to be wary of those, skip this fic, or put it on hold like I did. Can't wait for part 6 to be over so I can get back to this work lmao. Its ending will probably crush me and be painful as hell but I don't care

How Soon Is Now? by Morioh-Cho-Radio (crimsonherbarium) ; Listen, one cannot talk about Jotahan fanfiction without mentioning "How Soon Is Now?". Underneath Perfection is my personal favorite no questions asked, but this series??? this is a must-read. Mandatory almost. Fuck, I haven't even gotten past the first three or four works in this collection but I tell you it's amazing (forever saving the rest for when I have the time to sit down and immerse myself into it because it is that special). It's got 10 single chapter stories in total, varying in lenght. Crimsonherbarium is one of those authors that manage to rightfully appropiate these characters and what they're about; nothing feels out of place, and the writing is just *chef kiss* it is thoroughly polished and hooks me in instantly, every single time. This fanfic even has its own playlist! and the songs selection, both for it and the fic titles, I think is fitting as hell for Jotahan, what else can I say?? read this series. go go go!!! have a feast!!

oh i know (it goes on, it gets old) by theultimateburrito ; Oh man... this one is something else. Is its own thing, I believe. Single chapter, kind of a long read, but you'll be enthralled. Feels like a novel, and it's not ncesarily out there, romantically speaking. The words I'm looking for to describe it are subtlety, and patience. It's a very unique short story that features comfortable company, familiarity, introspection, Rohan being his insatiably curious self, and one intriguing mystery that sounds straight out of Araki's work. I won't spoil it, but there's a particular place that I didn't even know existed irl until I read this fic and that on itself is maddeningly funny to me.

Now, some improvised picks of mine, done in speedreading fashion, because I've read too many works by now and can't actually think of what to put in here (keeping this list relatively brief and simple was more difficult than I thought). A list consisting of short stories to pick up on the go, separated by the general feeling I get from them:

Short and sweet:

Art Kids by anarchaick ; mild parallels made between Rohan and Noriaki, as well as Jotakak mentions are quite common. How these affect the mood of the story or the nature of Rohan and Jotaro's relationship is up to the fic, but in this one that is simply heartwarming

old recipe, new need by bishounen_curious ; this one's a sickfic, and it encapsulates some aspects of their dynamic SO well. I love this ficlet. It's all in the details, and the Domesticity

Ecotone by kujo (curricle) ; please read this one. That's it just read it. It is plain, bitesized perfection

the loneliest whale by pinkdarkboy ; wholesome, cute, and works as a comfort story

Short and steamy (not necesarily explicit):

Falling In Love by Kinda sad this one's by an orphan account :') regardless, it is a great read

Short and angsty/bittersweet:

It Is What It Is by illmoure ; .... sigh. Conflicting feelings about this one, but because it is an incredible work expertly written to achieve that purpose. Also, last Jotahan fic (yet...?) by one of the BEST writers for this ship. I'll later just drop a link to them directly

Save the speeches, flowers are for funerals by Morioh-Cho-Radio (crimsonherbarium) ; Hanahaki disease, I eat that shit up. It is the perfect combination of angst and romantic yearning, and as it is to be expected from this fic's writer here, this is another banger.

Short and funny:

useless questions by bishounen_curious ; weed shenanigans. It's pretty humorous, but that isn't mutually exclusive with tenderness, or physical intimacy. Therefore, I was torn between putting this one under the Short And Steamy category, but the first half is fairly hilarious on its own right so, yeah.

the death of kishibe rohan (1999, colorized) by oredatte ; Rohan being ridiculous, give it a read if you're looking for pure absurdity. Just satire here, and a bit of second-hand embarrasment

Short AU ficlets that are really nice:

A Sort of Homecoming by Morioh-Cho-Radio (crimsonherbarium) ; Japanese folklore inspired, in which Rohan is a yokai inhabiting a long abandoned place that belongs to Jotaro's family. I JUST noticed the fic was temporarily removed, but I read it long ago and still remember how beautiful it was. Actually, anything written by Morioh-Cho-Radio is absolute gold. ... pssst, you can still find this story via the Wayback Machine, but you didn't hear it from me—

Beyond the Sea by illmoure ; Mermay fic :) Marine Biologist Kujo Jotaro has a fascinating encounter. This one's just straight up lovely and refreshing

tears of heliades by pinkdarkboy ; inspired by the tale of Pygmalion and Galatea from Greek mythology

I was planning on listing authors who deserve way more than a honorable mention, but the post was getting too long, and I simply find it hard to rush a selection like that. Maybe some other time? Although, definitely do check out some of the writers whose work has already been featured above!

Oof.... Being honest, there are many more titles I wish I could just gather in one place but I haven't had the time yet. This pairing has provided me with an endless amount of comfort, besides being mostly a what-if scenario, but it quickly turned just as important to me as the source material it came from. Fanfiction can feel just as valid and impactful as media published by conventional means, and I'll think about these stories from here on out, long after I found them. I'll think of these characters, and the silly little made up reality in my head where they're genuinely happy, finding comfort and a safe space with each other, growing and developing with time, and it'll make me smile like a total fool. I really don't mind that in the slightest 🎶

#jotahan #lmao why can't I be normal about anything ever #should put up an additional warning that makes it known what one faces against when they ask me anything remotely related to my interests #Welcome to rarepair hell my dudes #should also be technical about the matter at hand and say that Jotahan is more of a crackship than a rarepair #although honestly at this point I consider them canon.... Listen—#—there's nothing in there that contradicts this pairing so I'm choosing to die on this silly hill of my own concoction #sigh... there were a couple of truly amazing fics I couldn't find nor their creators so I'm assuming they're lost media now. Ah well #at least I got to enjoy them at some point <3 #shutupcaguay #I feel the need to make actual fanart for this ship but something is holding me back. That something being my own anxious self dammit #must figure out how to manage my time better #longpost #just in case

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queenofbaws · 9 months

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I’m having a time so got any more CREEPs crumbs?? My silly lil guys?? Little creatures?? 👀👀👀👀 thank you so much!!

It wasn't like it was a secret or anything - Ashley did, in fact, enjoy spending most of her time at Chris and Josh's apartment instead of her dorm. There was more space, for one, and they had their own fridge, for another...plus the couch was comfy, they had all the streaming services, and the closest they came to an annoying, weirdo roommate was, um, whatever...was living in the fridge.

She would've been a liar if she said her heart didn't skip a beat as they neared the ugly door to her ugly dorm in her ugly, ugly residence hall tonight, though. On some level, she knew it was dumb (Chris had walked her back to her dorm hundreds, if not thousands of times before!), but as they finally stopped in front of the threshold, their fingers doing some weird, awkward dance where they toyed with the thought of letting go...then laced right back up again, she couldn't restrain the goofy laughter filling her chest.

"Welp," Chris started, clearing his throat about a hundred times in the space of that single syllable, "IIIII guess this is the part where 'goodnight' is usually said and then both parties amicably part ways, going back to their respective places of residence and definitely, definitely not spending the rest of the night staring at the wall thinking 'Man, I'm...I'm probably the worst at this 'dating' thing that anyone's been in the history of ever.'"

And normally - normally - she would've laughed at that, would've turned her head bashfully to keep him from seeing how red her cheeks were getting, but she was wearing his hoodie and things hadn't been normal in suuuch a long time, so Ashley leaned forward, and she rocked onto her tiptoes, and she wrapped her arms around him and closed her eyes and kissed him goodnight.

six sentence sat(or)sunday!!!

#icequeen-07 #six sentence weekend #queenie writes supermassive #ghost hunting au #until dawn #chrashley #hehehEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEH oh you know i got SO MANY CREEPS CRUMBS OVER HERE!!!#lordddddddddd i need to finish mummy men and bathtub soup to get back to these dorks AHHHHH

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stargatelov3r · 2 months

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For the ship clarification - John/Elizabeth, Teyla/Ronon, Teyla/Kanaan, Teyla/John, Teyla/Kate

oh fun!

John/Elizabeth: doesn't make sense/compels me

it's funny with them because I used to be suuuch a huge shipper but in recent years I've come to believe that it wouldn't really work? i think Elizabeth needs much more than what John can give - but who am i to say that in the right moment they can't get together for a lil fling ;) ok maybe to clarify: long term: doesn't make sense. short term: definitely.

Teyla/Ronon: ooohhh, I'm kinda on the fence with them! i think they're the opposite of John/Elizabeth so make sense/doesn't compel me? I think it makes sense in that they have the connection with the wraith, who they both hate, but they handle it very differently. What connects them is the fear of the ongoing threat of the wraith, so i think there is a cameraderie that only the two of them share and that no one on atlantis can understand on that level.

they are both fighters, they both like to kick (each others) ass, they are both artistic people, close to nature. Ronon is a bit of a loner due to him being a runner but i think he craves connections but has a hard time allowing himself that? and like - allowing himself to just *stay* at one place without bringing doom to those around him, but i think as soon as he realizes that he's safe he would be the cuddliest teddy bear imaginable (and i think we partly see that). Teyla's sense of communit is enormeously important to her so i think her making ronon part of her family is not too far fetched.

HOWEVER, I mainly see them as friends. I can see them as metamours in a poly relationship with Elizabeth, and I see them as super duper close confidants, but I think their love is mainly platonic.

Teyla/Kanaan: doesn't make sense/doesn't compel me

clarification: i think in the way that the show handled the Athosians it doesn't make sense. I think it could make sense if we imagine Teyla still spending a lot of time with her people or them (and Kanaan) as being an integral part of the atlantis expedition. The relationship came so out of nowhere and honestly just confuses me. And to only bring Kanaan as the babydaddy? i dunno. this should probably be a different post about how pregancy and motherhood is handled in media. Sorry Kanaan, I'm sure you're a very sweet guy <3

Teyla/Kate: makes sense/compels me

ok, apart of the fact that Kate was Teyla's therapist which could potentially get a bit dicey i think it makes perfect sense and i am cursing the show once again for not giving us more Kate *shakes fist at the sky*. I like Kate, I like that she was part of the people who made Teyla understand how Tau'ri tick (by showing her how therapy works, how they handle emotional problems etc etc). My memory is as terrible as always, but i would have loved if there would have more of Kate trying to help Teyla cope with the whole "being part wraith" thing and if that would have led to a deeper understanding of each others cultures.

It's a bit harder to explain why they make sense to me? maybe because i'm getting a similar vibe from them at least on the base? both put a lot of stress on communication and resolving conflict, both are emotionally in touch with themselves, i feel like they both meditate and that's how they began spending time with each other. I like to imagine that there is so much more to Kate that we see from the few times we saw her, maybe she's an insane gymnast or something.

but yeah. good. I'd love to hear your thoughts on them tbh!

and thank you so much for the ask!

#i used this ask to procrastinate packing #ship asks #asks #mathgirl24

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oathofkaslana · 3 months

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ALBEDO FOR THE ASKS PLEASE

YAYYAYYAYAYAYAYAYYA MY GIRL<333

First impression:

god i really liked his hair and by being my first 5* character he held a special place in my heart by default yk. then i learned abt him and klee and THE END LINE TO HIS STORYQUEST <- guy not normal abt fictional martyrdom................ and he shot up on my genshin blorbo leaderboards :3

Impression now:

i hate her i hope she Dies!!!!!!!!! dear god she makes me sick in the head i've spent so long analyzing every lil thing about her and her character stories and her relationship w her family and humanity as a whole. in some way i think the love she possesses is more of a statement about humanity than the statement about love as a force yk and i appreciate that a lot. i think she's suuuch an interesting character w so much potential and i really really hope they do her justice bc her story could be so satisfying..... i also really appreciate the fact that her story is entire family centric. youtube title. albedo saves genshin impact. <- real adn true.

Favorite moment:

theres a lot of lil moments im not sure i can pick.. it's somewhere between the moment in their character story 5 where he muses about whether or not their last mission is just rhine's way of tgetting them to live a fulfilling life or them actively telling klee that they could probably bounce jumpty dumptys off of alice's beach chairs without breaking them and then jean making them sign an agreement to not pull pranks w anything from the gaa island kasbdjhdbad.

Idea for a story:

character study of her first days in the KOF. i just think it'd be amusing to see her slowly realize that she and klee have genuinly become a family instead of feeling like klee and alice are his host family yk? :) also. klee calling her gege.

Favorite relationship:

... albedo and klee yeah whatever whatever who even saw that coming theyre the siblings ever Sorry. after that probably him and rhine... or durin.................................

Favorite headcanon:

fuck it have three. they chose to set up camp overlooking durin's bones partially because they felt weirdly drawn to it and when they needed to take a break sometimes they would start sketching the bones. after his arrival in mond, alice's house has been littered w drawings both from albedo and from klee. genderqueer (any pronouns) and bi. :]

#TY SANTOL!#nini/santol tag #asks #ask game

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lcs-library · 2 years

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hi hi hiiiii :DDDD first off i wanna say i've been loving scrolling back in your acc and reading ur fics!!! i dont know how i havent followed you sooner, but im here now!!! lolol :"D so!! for the tea prompts, could i perhapse get milk and rosehip tea with guy :O? i feel like he's suuuch an interesting character to write in terms of solidifying things like emotion expression and affection!!! thank u so so much in advance <33333 :D

Aaaa hiiii im such a fan :000 your tags have been brightening my days hehe I get so excited when I read through them n I’m always smiling like an idiot and and and ANYWAY!! Request!! Yes! I totally agree, Guy is so fun to write with and explore, so I really hope you enjoy!!

Request game

Rules

Milk tea: what are their kisses like?

⚙️ough….ough…

⚙️He’s such a sucker for affection and your kisses always catch him off-guard, which always makes him so happy n blushy

⚙️and he rly wants to give that back but he’s so awkward about it

⚙️He wants to make sure you’re perfectly still so he can aim correctly and give you the perfect surprise kiss

⚙️And he definitely did it right, because you really didn’t know what was going on when you felt a light touch to your forehead until you looked up and found Guy right next to you

⚙️You couldn’t even find words to say because HOW is he so CUTE? And so HOT? And KIND??

⚙️luckily, Guy spoke up first

⚙️“A kiss. For you. Since you like giving them so much, you should get some too.”

⚙️WAUGH LIL MAN(well not really little but he’s so CUTE)

⚙️all you could do was sit there in silence, wanting to squeal

⚙️instead, you opted for wrapping your arms around him, nuzzling into his torso

⚙️he returned the action, keeping you close

⚙️Anyway, actual answer to the question

⚙️His kisses are very timid, but once he gets used to giving and receiving them, they become more frequent, but they’re still very special to him.

⚙️He cares so much about you, and, because of that, he wants to make sure he’s as gentle as possible so as not to hurt you by coming on too strong, which includes kisses

⚙️HE<3333

Rosehip tea: how romantic are they? how do they show affection?

⚙️He isn’t really affectionate at first, since this is his first romantic relationship

⚙️When you first started out, he went with things he’d see other couples do, which led to a lot of awkward situations where he thought he was showing affection well, but he just was doing things a bit more…uniquely(affectionate)

⚙️that’s not to say it wasn’t fun or adorable, though

⚙️For instance, he wanted to try taking you to a dessert shop and feed you a bite of his food, but he was so monotonous that you couldn’t help but giggle happily as you took the bite.

⚙️vv cute<3

⚙️Later on, he found what his favorite ways of showing affection were through trial and error, and just by finding what you both liked the most.

⚙️He probably struggles with physical touch(even tho he loves it), and his affections lie in mostly in quality time, acts of service, and clunky words of affirmation

⚙️For example, he values having time with you every day where you can both relax and talk freely, where he gives you some food or you make some together

⚙️Along with that, sometimes he’ll just collapse on top of you or cling to you and you can just FEEL his body soften from its usual stiff position

⚙️it’s always accompanied by a few messy kisses<33333

⚙️overall, he’s a sucker for you and is a romantic lil guy<3

#I know this isn’t exactly a scenario but I had fun writing it lol #please please enjoy!!!#thanks for the request!#a3!#fanfiction #a3! x reader #a3! act! addict! actors!#a3 game #act! addict! actors!#guy a3 #guy nishiki #guy lastname #guy nishiki x reader #my fics #request

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sm0kebreaks · 2 years

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Okay so in WTSE, does Jon know he’s pregnant? And how do our boys deal with Jon’s pregnancy? You know, the build up to Avery being born and the aftercare and all that? I just think there’s a lot of room for wholesome moments in there ❤️

ohhh avery is very planned! we haven't discussed or even thought about HOW jon and martin come to the conclusion of we should have a baby but once they do jon is making spreadsheets and he is ALL business when its baby making time.

not to be um... guy who has only ever watched one show but jon is sooooo much like monica when she and chandler are trying to get pregnant where martins just like hey theres no fun or romance in this and jons like do you WANT this to happen or NOT because we only have a small window here blackwood.

anyway it takes them a lil while and jon doubts for a bit whether they even CAN get pregnant but eventually they do and its a little rough considering its by no means a normal pregnancy but they make it through. one of the fun things with jons pregnancy with avery is that she is able to communicate with him somewhat and feels like suuuch a good father being able to know her needs before he even has her.

and i feel like ive gotten a bit into jon's post partum depression once avery's born? there's like a month or so where he's just a mess and can barely take care of her but also cant be seperated from her.

#welcome to somewhere else #parents au

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milascenta · 7 months

Text

22nd of September 11:21pm

I'm sorry for the lack of posts, I've been working on some things, getting tests and just waiting. I'll be able to get some training for a new job my friends do, and that will lead to an actual career, but I have to wait for the course to open up or a two day course that only comes from inside the place, and I'm just waiting for test results for my blood work which should be the start of next month, but then more waiting to see about surgery after that and ugh haha. Just waiting. But at least there's something at the end. Been thinking of starting stream back up since Cyberpunk update and dlc is coming out, update arleady came out and its great, suuuch a good update, but I can't use my facecam for it anymore haha, the update too beafy. Might get a new cpu soon, they're on special at the moment. I'm going to a gig in canberra tomorrow, its going to be one of my last gigs in the band I've decided. This year will be the last, just not what I want anymore been really fun but I've just moved on I guess. We have another gig next Saturday and after that one I'll say something because then we have one last one in november so it will be a big enough gap to say something and leave properly. Chonky's doing good, had a lil upset tummy the other week which was scary, she just wasn't acting herself and being very lethargic, throwing up, almost took her to the vet but she came back around and I was so grateful. Now she's just fine.

Its so great to hear you had a good time at joji and london, I thought you would. I think you deserve it after everything. Flying is such a nightmare, I'm glad you had a weird but great time haha. Having actual food on a plane, I never thought that was possible, I've only ever had like microwave package food or nothing haha. I've only been on like 2 planes though so. You at a goth club is so fitting to me idk why, and I'm glad you met some people to hang with too. That video is so cool and intense. He really puts on a show, having skits and everything, sounds very him tbh haha.

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma. I have no words, it fucking sucks I hope everything goes ok, Its beautiful to hear your grandparents were together for so long though, very bittersweet. I hate to think of the worst but you will be strong enough to go through anything, you've proven yourself to that. You shouldn't have to of course. I get you with feeling stuck where you are though, and your town being shit. It might not be shit but you've out grown it, I felt the same coming back here too. I'm sure the people around you aren't avoiding you at all, being busy is something hard to deal with and keep up with people. I'm stupid and guilty of it too haha. Just be with her as much as you can, it will be enough and you will be enough.

I'm sorry this is a bit of a short one, I don't have much to say tbh, like I said I'm just waiting around. Its a bit frustrating but its all I really can do. I'll try and start stream up again, I really really want to get back into it, don't know what is blocking me with it. But I'll get through it.

I hope you're doing well, N. I'll write again soon.

"Licking the barrel of a gun, Chewing it like its bubblegum"

#her

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cowboycunt · 2 years

Text

tag game nice hey :^)

hello ida @chapeldean thank you!!! <33

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to get to know better.

name: frank

star sign: pisces

height: 5'11"

time: 22:13 idk british time. but also shout out to cst i always know what time it is there

birthday: sorry classified :/

favorite bands/artists: hmmmm that's tough. gang of youths, ezra bell, orville peck, bleachers

last movie: rrr. suuuch a good movie. the fight scenes were so over the top i love it. also on that note literally fuck the british holy hell.

last show: lol i've been watching superstore. p good but i enjoyed the early seasons more rip

when did i create this blog: 2021 but i had a diff blog from 2011-2016ish. was an offline dude for a bit. rip to him.

what i post: my own posts are mostly things only i think are funny or cas pics

last thing i googled: 'glottage' lol i'm listening to a new podcast and was like wait it that a real place? it's not.

other blogs: no i am too lazy for that sorry

do i get asks?: sometimes? idk more in the recent past i suppose idk

following: 253

average hours of sleep: 6ish?? i won't lie it varies way too much

instruments: piano, flute, & bagpipes

what im wearing: black shorts, purple t shirt, yellow baseball cap :)

dream job: ummmm idk i like my job but i am in a severely underpaid field. so maybe a museum curator or something.

dream trip: sooo many places but def australia and peru

nationality: american lol

favorite songs: this changes every other day i swear to god. recently i've really been digging 'big city' by kingswood, 'he's fine' by the secret sisters, & 'skeleton appreciation day' by will wood and the tapeworms

last book ive read: ummmm i need to read more can't lie. lame but i think it was a book for work.

top 3 fictional universes i’d like to live in: i think i would die in most of them tbh honest but. firefly because i wanna be a space cowboy, riverdale simply for the bit, and percy jackson bc duh.

ye so imma pass this along but feel zero pressure to do this. consider it just a nice lil hello from me :^) also trying not to double tag but yea.

@youcaneven @demonlandline @limbel @theecelestialsodomite @sheepstiel @mrcowboydeanwinchester @cuntcas @destielgaysex @transexualcowboy @solarcas @deantopsurgery @soldierpoetdean @queerstudiesnatural @xofemeraldstars @weedkermit @blue-eyed-cutiepatootie

#this was a good time thank you ida yes :)#fish.txt #tag game #shhhhhh i’m definitely not adding in people because i can never think of mutuals when asked. shhhh no not me #i literally blue screen i promise it has nothing to do with y’all. family feud name a yellow fruit orange gif

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