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#and if I think about THAT too much I'll really start crying
celestialprincesse · 17 hours
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I just wanted to tell you that I've been crying all day, and after reading about Simon going with reader to the gym I cried once again, but this time it was comforting. Thank you so much for your work! <3
Moooore gym buddy Simon just 4 u 🫵🙂
° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .
"Look really fit." Simon murmurs as the two of you hop down from his truck, deftly balancing two protein shakers in one hand, using the other to give your ass an affectionate squeeze.
Admittedly, you think you look fit, too. You've started going to the gym with Simon once or twice a week, and it's done wonders for your confidence. It's easy to see why so many get hooked on working out, seeing the physical payoff for all of their hard work - and having an excuse to buy cute athleisure is always a plus.
Whilst Simon fetches some lighter warm up weights, you knock back some of the protein in the cute shaker Simon bought you, still trying not to grimace at the taste. He doesn't seem to mind it - but then again, he's practically a human vacuum willing to eat pretty much anything so long as it's not poisonous.
"Was thinking we could do legs today?" He muses, placing down some weights at your feet, and now you actually grimace.
Noting the expression on your face, he gives your cheek an affectionately chastising pinch, watching the cute way your nose scrunches up. Last time you'd done legs, you'd been left hobbling around for days, whining whenever you needed to get up the stairs.
"I'll go easier this time. Swear."
"No more split squats?" You probe with a raised eyebrow, hoping you look stern. You don't, but he won't mention it.
"No more split squats."
Apparently, you're more easily convinced than you'd thought, seeing as it only took a couple rounds of Simon complimenting how good your legs and glutes look for you to give in, reluctantly participating in the weighted squats you hate so much, until you're practically hobbling out of the gym.
Your ass does look great, though.
° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .
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sephifrog · 15 hours
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Zack and Cloud as Fathers
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Zack Fair
Worry wort but never full out shows it in public
He’s a girl dad through and through (would be an amazing father with any type of child but I feel he would thrive as a girl dad)
Super supportive even if he doesn’t fully grasp what your kid is telling him
So goes without saying he would support any sexuality or transition they need
Would actually pull rank if someone in Shinra is being an arse
Spoils them rotten
They could get away with murder
But also makes sure they have values and discipline 
Loves having outings with just him and your child
But also really loves spending time as a family
When they start kindy? He is on his knees sobbing not wanting to let go
When they start primary school he’s used to them being out of the house so he’s just as excited 
HE’S IN THE PTA IDSHBIUB
Then the homework starts coming and he helps them procrastinate until you lay down the law and help them
Highschool comes around too quickly and he’s crying again
“Their growing so fasttttt”
When they start dating he’s a mess and full of worry
But seeing them happy he relaxes
Type to test their partner 
If their partner hurts them however not even Sephiroth can stop how far he’s willing to go
On their wedding day, he’s all tears and snot, blames the flowers and Areith just gives him a side-eye 
When his baby has their own child he spoils them just as much if not more
Feel like he would want three but would settle for just one if you didn’t want more than that 
Cloud Strife
Another one to worry but he still has trouble expressing himself so sometimes he can accidentally shout at them in fear
Especially if you have twins oh god
An amazing dad though
Loves telling them stories about his life and how he met you
Tifa is like an auntie and when they become too much and you guys need a break she’ll take them for the night
Not as spoiled as Zack's kid but still 
They follow him like a duck wanting to be just like him
He wonders if he can just leave them with Tifa instead of kindy but relents when they sulk at him
Sometimes he works too much during the week so he has to make it up to them during the weekend
When they start primary he has mellowed out and doesn’t mind them being away from home 
Still isn’t fond of sleepovers unless it’s with someone he knows well
Highschool rebellion hits them hard and they argue a lot
Their still his baby though so after he cools down he brings them their favourite treat
God forbid they get a partner before their 18
When they get married he walks them down the aisle 
“You can still back out you know” “Dad…” “I'm just saying I would cover for you” “..thanks but I think I'll be okay” “alright, just know the offer is always going to be here”
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royalarchivist · 23 days
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Bobby: Bye Jaiden great to have you here as always :)
Jaiden: AWW!!! 🥺💕
Roier: Oh, but when it's ME? But when it's ROIER—?!
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Happy Mother's Day to q!Jaiden. I miss her, and our favorite little Mama's boy. 🥲
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thekittyokat · 27 days
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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da-proti-toku-grem · 2 months
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feeling like a total asshole today 👍
#an aunt's mom passed away yesterday night#i didn't really know her that much just spoke to her a few times for the typical merry christmas & happy new year you know#so when my mom told me i felt bad for my aunt bc i knew they were really close but i don't feel SAD#but my parents seemed to be like so shocked and sad and my little brother even started crying#and i felt absolutely nothing#idek what my mom saw in my face but she went like 'don't you feel anything?' and like wtf am i supposed to feel#like. i'm sorry for my aunt and everything but i just?????#that already made me feel like an absolute asshole but now we have to go there (like 2hours away by car)#and because i am an adult now i *have* to go to the funeral home (?) today and to the funeral tomorrow#and i REALLY don't want to and thought it's making me so fucking anxious bc i haven't been there since my grandma passed away 2 years ago#i really don't want that feeling that i felt back then to come back#not right now#not when i've been starting to feel a bit better this past week#but i'm already failing at that because they started to come back the moment i was told i have to go#and i feel like a fucking asshole because my aunt's mom literally passed away and she (and her whole family) must be heartbroken right now#and all i can think about is that i'm anxious#i'm anxious to go back there. i'm anxious just thinking that i'll have to express my condolences to people that i don't even know#i'm anxious because i'll have to TALK to people and at least try to look a bit SAD but i can't just fake it#bc if i don't look sad my brain tells me that i'm an asshole that doesn't have feelings like apparently everyone around me has#but if i fake it my brain tells me that i'm an asshole bc why tf do i have to fake my fucking personality#why can't i just express my fucking feelings like normal people do and the only thing that i know how to do is fucking complain#like. i know i rant a lot here but it's literally the only place where i talk about my feelings#i NEVER talk about my feelings with anyone because idk HOW to do it#i have like a million things in my mind that i want to tell my mom or my therapy for example but when i finally convince myself to do it#i just CAN'T. the thoughts won't leave my mouth because i don't know how to phrase them properly#so nothing ever leaves my mind unless i make a post here bc apparently writing my thoughts in english (my 2nd language)#is easier than talking in spanish#and at least if i write them here they don't just stay bottled up in my mind#but i'm too tired of myself and my stupid brain that tells me that i do everything wrong :/#i'm gonna shut up now bc i once again reached the tag limit
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gibbearish · 5 months
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the thing with autism right. is i know if i was having a full mental health crisis what i would end up doing is going to the emergency room and being like "hello, my name is (x) birthday (y), um i was hoping to talk to you about potential mental health inpatient care? i'm currently having a mental health crisis and don't think i can be trusted on my own" like if there's one thing i can be sure will live on in me no matter how hard the brainworms try. is my fucking customer service voice
#like itll be busted as fuck because ill be freaking out but you bet ill be sobbing my way through verbally drafting an email#ive done it before‚ like im a frustrated crier and once i start crying i cant turn it off so ive had a couple times where i had a breakdown#at work‚ cried about it a lot‚ and my lead pulled me into a meeting room after i calmed down to check in#and as soon as i started talking it just started again so i had to be like 'sorry th-this is just something m-m-my bod-dy does‚ i-i'm calm#m-mentally but i just c-cant turn this-is off‚ just try to i-ignore HIC it and f-f-focus-s on the w-wwwords‚#(tired of crytyping so just mentally fill it in yourself in everything else i say)#n they offered me more time to chill but im like no really i genuinely am calm‚ i calm down wayyy before my body does its gonna#keep doing this on and off all day‚ it takes hours for it to fully calm down and is on a hair trigger the entire time#so thinking about this will make it kick back up again no matter what unless we talk tomorrow‚ so if youre ok with bearing with me then cool#and theyre like. dang ok and just focused on what i said#or much more recently i was talking to my roommate‚ stopped‚ held up a finger + stood there silently for ten seconds‚#then was like 'sorry about that‚ i think i have to throw up. excuse me for a moment. what was that? oh gotcha yeah i'll message you if i#need anything‚ thank you'#and just typing it out like that it sounds like i was fine and just saw it coming a ways away. however that is not the case#i had had my covid booster and some other vaccine earlier that day‚ lost 5 vials of blood‚ eaten Nothing‚ drank only#acidic-ass apple juice‚ and had just hit my vape too hard#keeping it in once it made its presence known was a feat of will the likes of which have never been seen before#and still my sentences prevail
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milo-is-rambling · 2 years
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Oh okay I've now realized that my last group of friends has completely fucked my ability to form new close relationships or find myself worthy of interacting with people I perceive to be better than me (aka all people)
#just sitting here like :|#i know that feeling of like every time you lose someone in your life a part of you goes with them but I didn't realize how bad it was until#i got into a situation where I tried to make new friends and then it's just my brain wondering when they're gonna turn on me and I'll be#hated by a new group of people and I keep trying so hard to patch things up and make new friends and it's just like every time no one wants#to talk about anything that went wrong they simply want to leave without explanation or sympathy#i feel like I've been alone so long that I forgot how to be a person around other people#I'm wearing my person suit and just keep repeating 'be yourself' but I didn't fucking know who I am when I'm not completely alone drowning#out my thoughts with as much Pinterest music and stupid tv I can handle at once#like ugh I just wish I hadn't fucked everything up so bad with my last few groups of friends#i just want to feel like myself again and everytime i just barely start to feel like myself I find new friends and as I adapt to them they#leave and I'm alone again and I have to find who I really am all over again#why do I change for other people? i don't even realize I'm doing it until it's too late#ughhhhhhh#i am just exhausted#and my head hurts and I feel gross and tired and I want to cry and today is 75 days since my dad died and I've been thinking about him a lot#and I'm just so fucking exhausted and sad and emotional and I just want someone to fucking like and for me to believe them
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bibiana112 · 2 years
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It's like 3:00 we got home before midnight but were already tired and sleeby and I swear I act so tipsy when all I had was regular ass tea just because of what the mix of tired and overstimulated does to my brain
#u think I'm exaggerating but the reason I'm only unwinding now despite getting home relatively early#is cause me and my roomie just sat on the floor talking shit and stuff for hours#and in the middle of that#at some point#I was cry laughing for absolutely no reason after being so unable to string words together that I just repeat dour synonyms#it made it sound like I was having an existential crisis but I'm just tired but my mouth keeps trying to say things 😭#roomie was like oh but I wish I could talk more I'm running out of energy and all I can communicate is via laugh#and I'm like I wish I could just shut up actually#I wish I wasn't the kind of person you know is doing bad because they're not swinging a thousand thoughts at u or in their head too much#Wish I had the sense to stop prattling if I can't communicate well but if I like the person and am enjoying their company I just. continue#oh no I'm having self recognition through the blorbo at this hour cause I just realized I headcanoned that about Aoi too oh nO#that makes sense fuck I never realized I did that until now#honestly it was embarrassing and roomie was like pfft what? no it's not I'm just awkward and indeed an jour later they cry laughed too#it's not like we were telling good jokes or anything like our brains were just melting so yeah how do I plan on finishing this#I liked the food kind of want to go there again for the gyoza ngl but not at night again there's too many people drinking and no sweets#we finished the meals and wanted dessert but everything had just closed :(#we got all dressed up and shit and not a single picture came out alright lmao#oh also I missed the two people that came with! they're so fun and we hadn't seen each other since y'know rona started#so it was really nice to catch up with them hopefully I'll be classmates w the two again if my transfer fcking goes through alright#Void fala aí
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confinesofmy · 2 years
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not exactly a question but I love your name so much. i’m sure you’re well aware but it means earth, like dirt or soil, the thing life springs from, the place the worms can wriggle and be happy. it’s very grounding, solid, like taking deep breaths with your toes twisted in dewy grass, the way skin smells in the sun, the earthy smell of barns and hay, of fresh baked bread.
no real point here, but it makes me a little happy each time I think of it. I hope you love it too.
ngl this made me cry for like a solid ten minutes lmao. thanks for saying. i do love my name, it's a family name and it does genuinely make me feel more connected to my elders and my community, both the people and the earth itself. so um yeah thank you, this was very sweet.
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toastsnaffler · 11 days
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really horribly anxious this morning and can't seem to shake it off :-(
#struggling not to dissociate. just don't really know what I'm going to do with all this i think thats where its coming from#+ exacerbated by so much recent disappointment. its hard not to direct that towards myself even when im not really at fault#not to mention disappointment in other people. which is really just more self disappointment for having expectations in the first place#which are unfeasible/not communicated. i just feel so unreal and unreachable. kind of just incompatible with the world i think#and i dont remember how to weave myself back into it again.im not sure ive ever really known how. immiscibility innit#its ok. going to try and start meditating daily again. and negotiate better boundaries for myself. it might help to journal it out#not on here i mean in a physical journal. i can't hold this exclusively in my head or I'll want to start harming again ik its a trigger#its all okay tho sorry this sounds more dramatic than it actually is. my flatmates gone out so at least i can cry while doing chores#she was dressed up nice and came to say goodbye when she left which she doesnt normally do so i dont think she'll be back for a while#hope she has a good time whatever shes up to. probably shouldve asked in hindsight but im too anxious to be able to talk today#and selfishly it would make me feel worse trying not to compare myself to how much more meshed with reality she is she makes it look easy#she only wanted me to do her suncream but i started trembling rly badly after. just cant physically be around other people right now#well at least i didnt cry in front of her so thats something. okay. ive made a list of tasks so im going to pick them off one at a time#i shouldnt have to think too much about them. and hopefully by the time im done ill feel much calmer#and then maybe i can play a game or smth. but if not i wont be hard on myself ill just go lie down and listen to music instead#man it is a shame about this festival though but it is what it is. therell be other days. i guess im not really a weekend person hey#ah itll all pass its all good. im always okay again eventually however temporarily. i dont need anything other than that#.diaries
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lvlyghost · 7 months
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Remnants
PAIRINGS: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!Reader
SUMMARY: You got hurt and Simon finds out.
WORD COUNT: 1.0k
TW: bruises, slight angst. reader missing simon. also fluff think that's it. lmk if i missed any. also poorly edited and not proofread. mind the english!🤭✨🤍
A/N: this is so self indulgent. embarrassing how much time it took to get out because i've had this idea for two weeks now. anyway enjoy!💛
Masterlist✨
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Laying in bed until it was late was part of your daily routine when Simon was off on deployment. Too tired to even get up when he wasn't around to wake you at 7:00 a.m.
He was a morning person unlike you.
You remember the days he would drag you against him by the waist mumbling something about being too late to be in bed, to which you had groggily bit back and slapped his arm in a playful manner. Then he would be gone for months, leaving nothing but an empty bed and the absence of his deep voice to fill your ears. Feeling that made your eyes well with tears and your heart ache. What if I don't see him again? What if that was the last time I ever felt his touch?
Shaking your head you pull yourself out of the comfort of your shared bed, taking a quick bath before preparing yourself a nice breakfast.
Winter is starting to settle in and your favorite thing to wear is his black hoodie. The one that swallows you entirely. It smells like him, it's almost like being embraced by him.
"Come on don't cry now." rubbing your eyes with the hem of the sleeves. Traitorous, salty droplets spilling down. "Jesus." Taking a deep breath you calm yourself and the ache gradually stops.
The kitchen is somewhat cold despite the heater turned on. You watch as the coffee brews —the one he dislikes— you smile again although small. Barely a quirk of your lips at the thought of him looking intently at you as you take a sip and offer him one.
'Bloody incorrigible.' He had muttered.
But you had seen him smiling that day as well, as different as you both were from one another, the love you two held couldn't be denied, nor broken.
That's why when the front door creaks open your eyes widen, legs moving faster than your brain can register. Socked feet dragging across the wooden floor nearly slipping. Simon stands stall, the door closing behind him as he lowers the black duffel bag on the floor.
"Are you really back?" Your lower lip trembles, the emotion too heavy to hold it back.
"Come here, love." You lunge forward, collapsing against his body. Simon's quick to catch you with strong arms holding you. Bodies pressed together. He can finally let himself breathe. The smell of your home, the smell of that awful coffee you love, the aroma of your shampoo and perfume that drives him absolutely crazy. He pulls his mask off and his mouth is soon against your soft lips. Oh how he missed you. He missed this, his girl softly caressing his face standing on your tiptoes. Simon grumbled, when he feels the air shift and you pull back, his brown eyes glimmer with devotion.
"Don't worry there's tea for you. Plenty. I made sure of that for when you returned." He inhales deeply, kissing you once again on the forehead. Taking his hand you lead him to the kitchen to serve both the breakfast you've been working on. "How are the boys?" You ask taking two mugs out of the top cabinet.
"A bit more scarred than before but they're good." He comes behind you lingering close —too close— to your back. "Price wants a reunion. Told him I'd let you decide."
"You already know I'll say yes." He hums watching you pour some water in the kettle and waiting for it to boil. "Black or chamomile?"
"Black." You try to move around as much as you can with him caging you from behind. Giggling when he once again kisses you on the temple. "Alright, let me see you again..."
Simon grabs you by the forearm it's not hard, it's gentle but firm. Firm enough to hurt your neglected limb. You shriek, a loud 'no' leaves your lips as you stumble back and away from him, soothing the place where he had touched you. It hurt so much but you quickly regret your reaction knowing it'd spark something within him.
Simon's eyes go wide, then his brows furrow so hard you can see the small line that could leave a permanent mark on his forehead.
"What was that?" He growled. The distance you put between you and him is cut off by his long strides.
"It's nothing, I- I swear." You trail off, searching for an explanation. But he's smart and he won't let this pass.
Few things could make him lose his temper, you lying about your wellbeing was one of the top on the list.
"Show me." He demands and the way his eyes pierce through every part of you leaves no room for discussion.
Rolling up your sleeves you hold out your forearms. Simon's jaw clenches so hard you're certain he's cracked some of his teeth. Eyes set on your damaged limb; red and purple bruises on your skin. They're so fucking big and he has to remember how to breathe and control his emotions. "How?" His eyes shot back to yours, awaiting.
"I promise it's not what you're thinking Simon."
"Don't give me that. I asked you a question." he takes one of them careful not to press too hard as he brushes his thumb over one of them. Fucking hell. It's swollen.
"Just work Simon. I had to carry big boxes and you know I'm not that strong, that's it. So stop thinking the worst, yeah?"
Sighing he lets go of your arm, the anger slowly ebbs and he feels fucking tired. He thought the worst. No one could blame him, it was in his DNA.
"Next time let me know beforehand, bloody hell love."
You give him a quick hug.
"I still might have to have a talk with your cunt boss."
You snort.
"No you won't." You declare, motioning for him to follow back. "Tea's ready."
Oh, but he would definitely pay him a visit.
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weird-is-life · 2 months
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pregnant reader and Spencer fic where he makes her cry on accident 😭😭
Hii lovely, ty for the request🥰! Hope this is okay, warnings: fluff, kisses, like one swear word, reader cries (not because of something bad tho, it's cute), use of pet names (0.6k)
Spencer is running late at least later than he'd told you he would be and he can't stress it more. You've been home alone almost the whole day, and Spencer knows you are probably more than lonely.
But even if he's already late Spencer makes one more stop to get some groceries before heading home to you.
When he finally arrives home, he can't stop apologising as you greet him by the door, the baby bump very visible underneath one of his sweaters.
"Hi sweetheart, I'm so sorry I'm late there was a problem we needed to deal with," Spencer apologises and kisses your cheek.
"It's okay, Spence," you say into his shirt, already hugging him tightly, "I missed you a lot though."
Spencer looks at you like he always does with a too loving smile, "I missed you two, too."
Spencer ushers you towards the couch, he doesn't want you to be standing for too long 'cause he knows your feet would hurt, and also because he intends to cuddle you as much as possible there.
He quickly unpacks the groceries, and remembers the snacks he's bought for you. What he doesn't know is that you've been craving exactly the same snack he's bought the entire day.
"Here I got you these sweetheart," Spencer gives the snacks to you and rushes to the bedroom to change into something much more comfortable than the suit.
You stay still, your eyes filling up with tears as you hold the snacks in your hands.
When he comes back to you, he finds you eating the snacks while the tears run down by your cheeks.
"Woah, woah, woah, what's wrong?" Spencer immediately sits next to you, and starts to wipe the tears away.
"I just....-" you start with small hiccup, "I just love you so much."
A warm chuckle escapes Spencer's mouth, before he's back to comforting you. He's read every single book there's on pregnancy, so he knows how tough it is with the changes of hormones.
"Oh, baby, I love you too is that why you're crying, huh? Or is it something else? Maybe me being late?" He really hope it isn't the latter.
"N-no, I just-... I just really wanted these snacks all day, Spence," you tell him as another set of tears escapes from your eyes, "a-and they are too good."
"Oh sweetheart, if I knew you wanted them so badly i would have bought more," Spencer tells you with a sympathetic smile.
He understands it can be a lot for you from time to time, even if it's something as simple as craving some snack, so he let's you eat your snacks while he wipes away the tears. He does that until the snacks are gone along with the tears.
You look just unhappy about finishing the snacks as you did minutes ago eating them. You give him a puppy eyes, and Spencer is up on his legs before you can even say his name.
"Spencer...?"
"Don't worry, lovely. I got it, I'll buy you more than enough," Spencer quickly gives you a kiss, and goes to put on his shoes, car keys already in his hand.
"Spence?"
"Yes?" he looks back at you so fucking lovingly completely unbothered about the fact that he has to go to the shop again that you think you might start crying again (Spencer loves you so much that it happens a lot, you crying about how much you love him).
"Of course, but only if you really want to. I don't mind going alone."
"I want to," you say enthusiasticly. That is all Spencer needs to take your shoes, and go back to you. He puts the shoes on for you, kisses your bump, and helps you get up.
"C'mon, sweetheart. I'll get you anything you want if you tell me about your day, " Spencer happily listens to you chatter about everything that crossed your mind through the day.
You and Spencer leave the shop with way too many snacks, but it's okay because you're happy as one can be and that's all Spencer needs, okay maybe the cuddles too.
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mrfoox · 1 year
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Uh.... Love how.... Instead of gently reassuring me or such whenever I say something really bad about myself Oliver just sigh loudly/grunt and then go to argue against me and finally gently tell me the opposite :')
#miranda talking shit#Me: no one cares about what i think...#Oliver: -loud groan-🙄 ok who said that except you? No one. I care about your opinions. I want to hear what you think#I meam then he went on a little side note to clarify 'oh i dont care that much about hearing it but i want to hear it bc i want to have an#Discussion with you' (very on brand. Cant just say something like caring about someone without adding not like i care after lol)#Hes probably tired of my insecure shit but he still goes so hard every time i say something. Ive said im fat/similar three times and all#Times he took it as an personal attack i honestly love it. Not met anyone who goes through all kinds of tones in one ... Time#Its refreshing. I know ive known him for soon three years but i would say we've only been friends for two#But hes still so refreshing in his way of thinking and talking. I think i like how he's not treating me... Intentionally softer/gently bc#Of how i am or bc of our situation? If he thinks im wrong or say something stupid he'll say so straight up. Im used to people being too#Scared to do that because they know i cry easily or something similar. No he's just like ... I'll say whatever i think. Yet hes also way#Too nice. The amount of patience in that lil guy is big. If i was more brave and gave less shits about what others thinks id tell him this#Stuff. But i know hes not... Good with that sort of things. Technically no one im close with is really lmao. So i just scream lovingly#About them on here. Everyone is so nice to me and its just something i wish i could express clearly to others#Instead id probably ramble and start to cry if i try to put it into words. My heart just big and im luv people thanks
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predestinatos · 3 months
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you mean everything - MV1 ೀ⋆。🌷
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summary: max needed a wedding date and you were used to being his fake partner.
tags: max verstappen x fem!reader, fake dating, friends to lovers, max is so whipped, fluff, a bit angsty maybe?, mentions of alcohol
word count: 2k
notes: i've been writing (and thinking) so much about max... my period is coming please give me a break i'm sensitive. also would love to get some feedback if possible so i know if it's worth making a series out of this!!!!
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"If you want to make it believable at least hold my hand" you half-whispered to Max, who was buttoning his blazer while getting out of the car, you behind him.
"Sorry, I'm not used to this with you" he said chuckling. His sweaty palm held yours tightly, and the feeling of it was odd. Knowing Max for so long meant that these romantic gestures felt almost cringeworthy to you both, and you both had to put up award winning performances every time you played this game.
The game in question being fake-dating. It started as a funny joke where you both thought it would be great to test out the Get A Champagne Bottle For Free At This Restaurant If You Propose theory (which worked, by the way). From then onwards, you used each other as dates whenever asked by annoying family members, creepy coworkers, or just because you felt like lying.
The talking wasn't hard - you both felt comfortable in that part, lying with words coming off almost dangerously natural - but when it came to acting the part, both of you felt awkward, like kids who found relationships absolutely repulsive.
This time, though, the performance would last longer than usual: it was a wedding. Max's friend's wedding. Max could've just gone along, or bring a friend (even you as a friend). Yet he had told his friend, after one too many shots on his Bachelor's Party, and after being chosen as The Guy Who'll Take the Longest to Settle, that he had, in fact, a girlfriend. His friends didn't believe him, so he showed a picture of you two together - a selfie really, nothing much. And they still said they didn't believe it. So here you are.
You couldn't blame him, even if you wanted to. You agreed to use each other as a fake partner for as long as you could in as many situations as required, although when it all started none of you ever thought it would lead to wedding attendances.
So now there you were, Max's hand on yours, entering the small church. His eyes locked with the groom, who waved and called for you to sit near the altar.
"So you ARE real" he said, nervousness laced in his voice even as he tried to lighten the mood himself. You giggled at the irony of it, nodding as you said your congratulations.
"Just wait until the guys see this" he continued gesturing towards the bench where 3 other men around his age sat. Men you had seen before in some Instagram pictures, men you spent the previous night trying to memorize basic information about so you didn't sound suspicious.
Max's hand now fell on your waist almost instinctively - it wasn't instinctively, he told himself once he noticed its positioning. And if it was, it was only because he took this so seriously, almost as a sort of method acting. Sitting down next to his friends, he noticed how all of them seemed surprised at your presence, and something like pride filled his chest. He loved winning, loved being right even if he was lying; but most especially, he loved how jealous other men seemed to be over the fact that he was (at least in their minds) dating you.
He couldn't deny - though he tried, really - that you two looked good together. His rougher features mixed with your softer ones gave you both an aura of near unreachability, which yes, was pretentious of him to think but he thought nevertheless.
The ceremony was quick and endearing, a smile spread across everyone's faces at the shared loved between the bride and the groom. As the crowd clapped, Max leaned into you, "don't tell me you're crying". "I am, just to think that I'll have to keep pretending to date YOU for the next 10 hours" you replied, his mocking smile recognizing the joke.
The reception hall was beautifully decorated with shades of soft green and violet orchids. Max tried not to think about how much it matched the shade of your dress, how you looked like you had come to life from a classical novel. He tried to feel like anyone but Mr. Darcy as you felt so much like Elisabeth Bennett to him.
Sitting down next to him, you found this part easier - mingling and socializing was something you enjoyed more than he did - especially with alcohol in the mix. It's a wedding, you thought; this is what weddings are for.
So you drank the wine with the main course and sipper champagne to celebrate and ordered a few cocktails when it was time to dance and talk - and you felt it on your body almost as much as you felt Max's hand occasionally sitting on your thigh, but not even close to how strongly you felt his thumb caress your skin as he did so. Truth was, he too was drunk; his eyes looked smaller and his cheeks were flushed, and the amount of times he ran a hair through his dirty blonde hair had caused it to look messier. As you looked at him, you felt he never looks as attractive as when he is like this - loose and carefree, his shirt sleeves rolled up and a smile on his face when he notices people laugh at his joke.
"I have to admit I didn't think it was true" his friend said when Max left to go to the bathroom. He looked drunker than the two of you combined, his words hard to decypher, like a riddle. "He's been talking about you for months now and we never saw you for real so we thought you didn't exist" he laughed, and you laughed back before it registered.
"Months?" you asked him, eyebrows furrowed yet attempting to remain composed. You shouldn't have asked it - a supposedly month old girlfriend wouldn't be surprised but you were his fake month old girlfriend and you weren't understanding it anymore.
"Yeah. He talks about you so much all the time I think even we started to date you" he laughed again, yet this time you didn't find the joke so funny. You were frozen in your seat, merely blinking as if trying to put the confusing puzzle together, the pieces not quite fitting the way you thought they would.
A touch on your shoulder unfroze you, almost like magic, like a disney film come to life. You turned around to find the groom, somewhat sober, smiling at you while also looking somewhat concerned. "He's calling for you... And he's also absolutely wasted" he said, pointing to the door of the hall.
"Shit" you cursed, getting up from your seat at a speed you couldn't believe, worry filling your heart, making you forget the conversation you were just having.
Opening the door to the garden outside, you found Max sitting down against the wall, shirt partly unbuttoned and disheveled hair. When he saw you, he grinned, such genuine happiness laced with tipsiness.
"Lightweight" you mocked as you crouched in front of him, trying to balance yourself on your heels, somehow managing it despite your own drunkness.
"You're laughing at my mis- Shit- my misery" his throat bobbed up and down, exaggerating his own agony with a hand on his chest and another on his forehead like a Shakespeare character.
"I have to admit it's quite fun sometimes" you bit your lip as you fixed his hair as best as you could, hands brushing through its soft, blonde mess.
"You're so– you're so sweet" he said, his words dragged and messy. He brought a beer bottle to his lips but you stopped him before any liquid touched them.
"I think that's enough of that for tonight" you grabbed it and placed it behind you, sitting in front of him.
"See now... Now you're being mean" his hand grabbed a strand of your hair and played with it softly as he pouted.
"Okay big boy I'm gonna get you some water" you say, getting up once again, yet his hand stops you, grabbing your wrist tightly.
You looked at him, startled. His drunken state is visible, and it felt frustrating that you had to be the one sobering up for him. The music vibrated through the wall he leaned against, somehow tickling him, making him giggle.
"Stay," he managed to say, eyes half closed, "I'm so glad we're- Fuck things are spinning so much" his hands rushed to his eyes and his head hung low, "Ah fuck. I'm so glad we're datin- Fuck, no, oops-" he continued laughing despite how sick he felt, the whole situation sounding hilarious when filtered through alcohol.
You giggled along with him, mostly because you wanted to see if you could convince him to move, scared he might feel worse or pass out on the cold floor if he doesn't do so. "Fake dating. Fake dating, I know. I knowww" he continued, his words dragged and his finger pointing at you before poking your nose with such innocent sweetness you were taken aback.
"Max" you tried to sound more assertive but found it hard to do so, your own intoxicated state making the situation lighter than what it actually was. Your heart racing was a symptom of it, one you wouldn't feel if sobriety was an option, you thought. Max's eyes wouldn't seem to stare at you differently were he sober as well, and the way he scanned your features, his gaze staying on your lips for longer than expected, wouldn't affect you in the slightest had you not drank some alcohol.
"I like it when you say my name" he looked up at you innocently, pleading, almost.
"Want me to say it again?" you asked, smiling. You complied with these demands because you knew they were childish whims of an intoxicated man, his happiness a priority in times like these. Upon his nod, you started saying his name, half teasingly, half reassuringly, the leaves rustling in the garden behind you.
"Max... Max!! Max Max-"
He shouldn't. It would complicate things, and he liked when they were simple, clean and organized. He knew he shouldn't even when his whole vision spun and his brain convinced him that he should do things he would never do otherwise. But every time he refrained from saying something he would stumble across all his words and trip and fall and his head would only hurt more, and it seemed as if he could only focus if he kept listening to you and talking to you and looking at you.
The lights shone behind you in a way that made it feel as though he was dreaming, like you were a mirage, too good to be true. Maybe his friends were right - you weren't actually real. He wanted to be sure, in that moment. That you were real and that he wanted you as much as he thought. And though he shouldn't, though it was a terrible idea, he couldn't help but lean over to kiss you.
He tasted like champagne - bubbly and slightly sweet, his movements sloppy given his state, yet you couldn't help but drink it all in. Part of you - a big part - reciprocated the kiss, felt his fingers on the side of your neck, pulling you messily towards him, and tried to steady him, guiding him gently with your own lips.
It was odd, how this felt so right yet the fake hand holding didn't. As Max kissed you, that thought entered his clouded mind - did it feel wrong because it was fake and this was real? Your skin felt so soft, so much softer now he could touch it freely and unapologetically.
"Fuck-" he started, pulling away, his head resting against the wall once again as he stared at you, noticing how it hasn't hit you yet; what you just did, how it affected everything. "I fucking love you" he shrugged as you fixed your hair, pausing with arms raised for a few seconds before smiling softly.
"You're drunk" you replied, looking at his own grin, the gleam in his eyes making him appear both innocent and guilty of so many things.
"I'm drunk and I fucking love you"
"Max..." you started, and he said your name back to you with such tenderness you couldn't believe his lips tasted of alcohol earlier and not something sweet.
"We'll talk tomorrow, okay?" you continued, waiting for the silence to swallow you both.
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plmp0 · 3 months
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Bad Game
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Summary: You've just missed how rough Heeseung used to fuck you so you decided to push his buttons, but he noticed what you are trying to do and gave you exactly what you wanted.
Warnings: pwp (no plot really), mean!dom!Heeseung, begging, dirty talk, degrading, hair pulling, oral (f r), unprotected sex, cream!pie, i think that's all
A.N: This was a very quicky i wrote at 4 AM, sorry if there is any typos/ weird spacing, also please note that english is not my first language. Enjoy ^^
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"didn't know you were that cock dumb u know? always denying being horny in front of me but all the time you are fantasizing about my dick huh?" Heeseung stuffed two of his fingers inside ur mouth making you choke on them your hips trying to grind on his knee that is positioned between ur legs and he chuckled at ur miserable attempt
"What a pervert, a naughty slut" he whispered in ur ears as he grabbed ur hair and pulled, you arched your back moaning, "And that's okay, you know why? Because i'm the only one who can take care of you like this." he removed his fingers from ur lips groping ur breats making you whimper wanting him to touch you more.
"Only I can fuck u till u can't remember your name." he grunted one of his hands wrapping around your neck choking you lightly but u couldn't help it but grip his wrist and he just cooed at how weak you are.
Heeseung made sure u'd regret messing up with him, trying to make him jealous? really?Knowing how he can't handle seeing others trying to make a move on you in front of him.
"How low of you, horny girl trying to piss me off." He chuckled "You don't know who you're messing up with, sweetheart." He leaned towards you, "I am a man of few words. If you mess up, then i'll fuck u out of your mind."
He kissed you hard and pushed you down the bed, making you lay on your back. He kissed down from ur neck, collarbones, to the valley between ur breasts and you arched your back when he took ur nipple into his mouth, sucking on it harshly.
"So cute" He licked over ur nipples, "So beautiful and all mine." He kept kissing down, reaching your belly making your mind go numb from how different he sounds everytime "My pretty princess" He mumbled spreading your legs apart and putting them over his shoulder, giving a kiss to each thigh. "U could of just said that you wanted me to fuck you dumb" He gave a smirk and dived in between your legs, eating you out.
"Fuuuck" You moaned when he started moving his tongue around ur clit skillfuly hid hold tight on your thighs moving his head left and right and it was just too much for you, pulling on his hair signaling him to slow down but that just made him moan keeping the same pace.
He continued working on you his nose rubbing against your clit as he sucked on it harshly and you felt a knot forming on your stomach moaning his name non stop
Heeseung felt so lost in the taste of you his dick twitching all the time, he took his right hand, bringing his middle and index finger to ur entrance and you rutted your hips trying to feel him inside you and that just earned you a tsk from him and a slap in ur right thigh "Patience, i get that you're desperate to be fucked but there is no way i'm gonna let what you did slip without punishing you" he voiced, still sucking on ur clit and teasing your entrance with his fingers.
"Pleasee, i'll do anything just fuc-" Your pleads got interrupted by him shoving two fingers inside you and curling them to reach the spongy spot that always made you see stars, "Fuck yes right theree" You arched your back and closed your eyes as the knot was becoming tighter, Heeseung could tell that you were close so he started moving his fingers at a faster pace, making you scream and cum all over his face and he didn't even give you a moment to rest fingers working faster than before making you cry and try to get away from him feeling so sensitive, "No no no" you whined, "too much" You cried
"No?" He stopped and grabbed your chin "isn't that what you wanted, huh? What's wrong now?" he mocked curling his fingers inside you his other hand locking you down on the bed and you could feel yourself close again feeling so weak against him eyes rolling back as you were about to come again and just when you were about to Heeseung stopped moving pulling his fingers out leaving your body shaking as a whine left your lips
"Owww" he cooed looking at ur undone state eyes red and teary lips red from biting on them, seeing you in that state just made his dick twitch but as much as he wanted to fuck you now he couldn't forget what you did earlier his blood boiling even tho he knows it was a stupid plan of yours but that doesn't change the fact that Jay held your hand it doesn't change the fact that his filthy hands wrapped around our tiny waist, and Heeseung couldn't let go of that sight his eyes darkening more making ur skin shiver as he looked you down
"Turn around and get on your knees" he commanded, his voice dark. You followed his command and did as told, "I'm not gonna stop till i feel that you are really sorry for what you did today and don't even try to cum without my permission baby" You could feel his dominance taking over you making you more excited and you couldn't wait for him to wreck you.
He slapped your ass massaging the skin afterwards and then started leaving marks on your back, you felt the tip of his cock rubbing on your entrance, the anticipation was making you go crazy but you ended up disappointed when Heeseung kept grinding his cock on your folds for the next couple of minutes despite your begging he didn't enter you and when you tried to reach out and rub urself against his cock he just slapped your hand away.
He took your chin and turned your face to the side so he could look at you as he started kissing you, his tongue finding its way inside ur mouth. He moved his hands from your waist and cupped your boobs, massaging them, pinching and pulling on your nipples making you whimper and he didn't miss the way your hips twitched burrying himself inside you without a warning stretching you open,and puting an end to your suffering, he didn't wait for you to adjust to his size pounding on you hitting your g spot immediately and you couldn't hold your voice in and moaned loudly, Heeseung didn't stop there he grabbed your neck and pushed your head down and started moving at an even faster pace the sound of skin slapping and moans filled the room, he let go of your neck and you felt his grip on your hips getting tighter as he kept going and going and you felt the knot in your stomach tighten, your walls fluttering around his dick, "Don't cum until i say so." He warned voice stern as ever and you couldn't do anything but nod his hand steadying your head against the mattress, bed frame banging against the wall at the force of his thrusts, you felt yourself coming closer and closer and he knew it, his groans going straight to your core making you clench on him and he threw his head back cursing at your tightness his hand slapping your ass and the sting brought you back from the edge Heeseungs hand reached to your hair pulling on it and making you arch your back, you couldn't keep your eyes open as they rolled back "Look at you now, can't even speak because of my dick" he grunted and you didn't even have the strength to moan, his grip on your hair getting tighter "What a good little cockslut" he chuckled seeing how his words affected you "But looks like you forgot that you are mine" he thrusted this time hard and deep making you moan and clench around him "Who are you?" You could hear the anger in his voice "Tell me" he griped your jaw cock still deep inside of you waiting for your answer,
"I'm- Yours- Ahh" you choked on your moans making him smirk as he pulled his cock all the way out and then slammed back in making you arch your back
"Again" He repeated and you felt your orgasm approaching again "Heeseung-" You were about to cum but he slapped your ass
"Who do you belong to" Heeseung growled and the grip he had on ur hair and hips tightened "Who's dick are you on?" he thrusted a couple of times before stopping again, "Yours! It's only yours, please let me cum!" you begged trying to fuck yourself on his dick but his hands were holding you still and it was just too much, he chuckled "You should've known better than to be a brat to me baby"
He started moving again slamming his cock inside you hitting the deepest parts of you, making you a moaning mess and after a couple of minutes of begging he finally gave you permission feeling close as well, "You can cum baby, show me how much you love my cock" he whispered in ur ears and it was enough to make u come and tighten around his dick, making him cum right after you
"Fuck" he cursed as he rode his high and then pulled out of you, and he couldn't help but groan at the sight of his cum dripping out of you taking his fingers to fuck his cum back inside of you and then licking it off his fingers, the view made you whine
"I hope that what you did today won't repeat again, understood?" He asked as he helped you lay on your back and you were too tired to even talk so you just nodded whispering a small "sorry" and he laughed a bit "You did so well baby, such a good girl" he praised caressing your cheek and you couldn't help but lean in and close your eyes at the sensation of his hands, he smiled at your action and leaned down to give a kiss to your forehead. And you don't know if this is gonna really be the last time your gonna push his buttons loving the way he fucked you earlier but hey he doesn't need to know now!
Thank you for reading a feedback would be so much appreciated ^^
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luveline · 10 months
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Ok what about a lil fic of Remus being snappy with his gf leading up to the full moon? Just some angst and then fluffy ending with them reconciling
thank u for ur request! —remus says something he shouldn't before the full moon, and later campaigns for your forgiveness with affection and a confession. fem!reader, 1.2k
Remus lays on the couch with his forearm pressed to his eyes. It's the day before the full moon, and he feels the hours approaching like a death sentence every time. You hover in the doorway, watching, unsure of how to help. He gets the same every month (or rather, every cycle). 
Irritable. So anxious he can't breathe properly, let alone enter conversation. 
You hate seeing him like this. Your Remus, who spends every moment you're together trying to make sure you're as happy as you can be. 
Cautious, you round the sofa to crouch by his face. You hold out your hand, trailing a gentle fingertip down the length of his arm, tripping over pinched skin ridged by scars. He's beautiful no matter what, but he gets insecure about how he looks every full moon. You know he thinks he's a monster. You've no way to prove it to him beyond this. 
"Hey, handsome," you say softly. "I know you're not hungry, but I made dinner anyway if you feel up to it. And I know," —you drop your voice to a near whisper— "I know you're not in the mood, but I'm here. I can sit here and stroke your hair in silence all night if that's what you want, my love. I'll do whatever you want." 
"Then leave me alone," he says. 
Half snap, half firm defeat. You wince at the ire in his voice. It won't ever be nice to have someone you love speak to you like you're getting on their nerves, but you know what it is he's facing. You know this is hard for him to cope with. You can forgive him for everything if he makes it through this in one piece. 
"Okay. I'm sorry. I love you, Remus." 
He turns his head toward the sofa cushions. 
You leave the room with a heavy heart. In the kitchen, you try to eat, but every mouthful makes you feel sick, your eyes welling with tears as you chew. You're hurt, he's hurting, and this really, really sucks. 
The smell of dinner starts to amplify the nausea. You grab your plate and carry it to the back door, scraping your leftovers straight into the rubbish. You wash your plate and leave it to drip dry on the draining board, your eyes burning. You sniff, wiping your nose in your sleeve. 
You're hoping desperately that Remus will come around before bed, but he stays where he is. Thinking he's finally found sleep and wanting to leave him to that blissful reprieve, you creep through the living room and down the hallway into the bedroom. Tears fall as you change into your pyjamas. You're so tired that you barely have time to cry yourself to sleep. 
You're not sure how much longer it is when you wake. A familiar hand cups your cheek. 
From the warmth of your skin, he's had his hand there for a while. 
"I'm so sorry," Remus says. 
You don't know how he knows you're awake. He must have been watching you long enough to spot the difference. Honestly, you're not sure you want to see him yet, because you love him so much, and it breaks your heart to be at the end of his disdain even when you know the cause. 
You struggle to see him in the dark. 
"I should never have spoken to you like that." 
Your eyes close of their own accord, exhausted and sore from crying. "You didn't mean it." 
"I wish you'd shout at me," he murmurs, sliding his hand over your ear. His thumb draws along the shell of your ear. 
"I'm too tired," you mumble. 
Remus' head shifts closer to yours. Sharing the same pillow, his hand falls to your shoulder, his arm wrapping around you, a firm bicep pressed to your front. 
You let yourself lean into it. His breath warms the space between your brows. 
"It's no excuse, but I… I can't think of anything else but the pain, sometimes. I get so angry about it, because I'm–" He stops short, swallowing audibly in the otherwise silent room. "I'm scared. But I would be a hundred times more terrified if I didn't have you, knowing you're there for me, unflinchingly, before and after it happens, it helps me get through it. It's not fair that you give me so much peace and I just… 
"I'm sorry, dove. I don't mean to take advantage of your… heart." He says heart like he's been winded. He hadn't sounded finished, but everything stops at that word. 
You force your eyes open. He's looking at you with an unspeakable amount of love, kind to keel you over if you were standing. His eyes are pitch black in the lack of light, irises melded with pupils, giving him an even sorrier gaze. You raise a sluggish hand to his where it rests behind your back and pull it back to your face. You miss his touch. 
"I love you," you say. 
"I know," he says, his jaw tensing in an attempt to stage off tears. "I love you, too." You watch them collect in the corners of his eyes, following one as it slides to rest in the dip of his nose bridge while he lies on his side like this. 
"So don't be sorry." 
"But I am sorry. I can't fathom why I think it's okay to treat you that way." 
"You don't think at all, Remus. I'm not being flippant, but you're busy worrying about the worst of it." You shake your head gently. His hand twitches against your cheek. "I don't blame you." 
"I know," he utters. 
You stare up at him as he sits enough to tower over you. His smile is sorry, in love and ashamed. You want to tell him how it doesn't matter, that it's okay, but you're thinking maybe you need him to say it first. 
"I'm sorry." 
"Remus, you only told me to leave you alone." 
"I need you to know that any other time, you're all that I want. You're everything. I couldn't ask for more than you. Please don't think I'm cruel," he pleads in a whisper. 
You lift your chin incrementally. "I'd never think that." 
His apology kiss is coddling. Like he's worried he'll hurt you, like he's holding back, he kisses you like you can't handle more than a chaste press of the lips. 
"I love you," he says into it. 
You lift your head to kiss him harder. You love him, and you won't break. You can be exactly as strong as he needs you to be, so long as love waits at the end of the night. 
"I love you." A huff of a laugh escapes him. "Does this mean I'm forgiven?" Caution has his joke falling flat.
You nuzzle your cheek against his, knowing you'd forgiven him just as soon as he'd snapped. "If you let me stroke your hair. Did you eat your dinner?" 
"I'll eat it tomorrow," he says. A white lie, you both know, but he slides down further under the sheets so you can reach his head. 
You card your fingers through his hair until you've both fallen asleep. 
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