#and i'm so distraught.. I am so caught up in despair and anguish.. I want to be at home all day praying and reading my Bible...

[heartoflesh]

I want out of this pain... I want out of this mental torture that suppresses my mind. I've wanted to die. How do you medically induce amnesia?

The only thing worth going through this pain is the gain of heaven some day.

#I never thought I was someone with anxiety or depression but I am now swimming in it and I see why people take themselves out... #I won't do it... I promise I won't but I understand. #The pain is so tremendous... The pain is immense... Greater than any physical pain I have experienced... #I had a brain tumor once and had to go through brain surgery for it #but even that.... I'd experience that 10 times over again if it meant I didn't have to experience the emotional pain I have been traversing #I would willingly experience kidney stones for a third time... a FOURTH time if it meant i didnt have to experience this mental torture... #I'm suffering greatly #and i'm so distraught.. I am so caught up in despair and anguish.. I want to be at home all day praying and reading my Bible... #I want to be at peace because my mind is in disarray #I want to be away from the chaos of life because my mind is chaos rn #I don't need any more of it #tags #im trying so hard to trust God and to cling to Him #But I am literally HOLDING ON FOR DEAR LIFE like LITERALLY #i am so tired of feeling this #I am so tired of my situation #and why it had to happen in this way to me #this is quite literally a nightmare... #poetry #poem #writing #creative writing #writer #writers #writing community #writeblr #writers and poets #writerscommunity #writer community #writers on tumblr