#and i’m choosing to believe i will find that in my platonic relationships which are love stories in their own right
hmmm lots of thoughts about romance and friendship and love tonight. like maybe my best friendship of seven years growing distant and making me realize i love her in a different way from how she loves me had to happen to teach me to let go and focus on internet friends who care about me enough to want to shoulder our burdens together. maybe shit had to hit the fan with The Boy and eliminate any chance of romance and maybe i had to struggle through a couple weeks of heartache and confusion to realize that maybe he wasn’t someone who would have made me happy in that way anyway, and maybe my love for him was never like That. maybe it took the ‘questioning my sexuality’ crisis that followed to make me realize that i don’t need a romantic relationship, maybe ever, because the lines have always been blurry for me anyway and all i really want is not to date, but have A Special Person, to be loved and known deeply. maybe i had to be painfully lonely for a while to realize what will truly make me Not Lonely. romantic and platonic labels be damned, it’s all just Love to me.
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what happens at the drive-in...
pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader
word count: 3.5k
warnings: friends to lovers, mutual pining, kinda angsty, very fluffy, emotional hurt / comfort, jealousy, adult language and somewhat mature themes, use of pet names (sweetheart), mentions of food and alcohol consumption, mentions of violence (in the movies they watch) - unedited - pls let me know if i missed anything!
summary: an unspecified amount of time in the lives of eddie munson and his best friend, as you watch various movies together and your platonic relationship blossoms into something more.
a/n: technically a part two to this little fic, but can definitely be read as a standalone.
-
There is a small part of your brain that constantly wonders what if, when it comes to Eddie Munson.
What if you told him how much you enjoy it when he unintentionally reaches for your hand whenever the two of you are alone?
What if you didn’t ignore the way he looked at you sometimes, and vice versa?
What if you had let Eddie kiss you last year after the homecoming dance when he called you beautiful for the very first time?
Or more recently during Halloween when the two of you crashed a random house party and everyone complimented his Frank N. Furter costume? The stupid happy grin was plastered across his face the whole night and he kept thanking you for “turning the freaky into something desirable.”, to which you drunkenly replied: “I always find you desirable, Eddie Munson.”.
What if you never put Eddie in the strictly platonic box in the first place? Would it be easier now to cross that invisible line you both drew during the course of your friendship?
What if…
“Then she laughed at my joke,” Eddie states with excitement, breaking you away from your thoughts, “Can you believe it? Betsy Bolton found something I said funny.”
He looks at you and your heart sinks because you haven’t seen him this amped up about a girl since his unrequited secret crush on Chrissy Cunningham while you were dating your then boyfriend Andy.
But you plaster the best heartwarming smile you can muster and reply honestly, “Because you are, Eddie, a funny guy, so I’m just glad someone else finally made you realise.”
There is a hint of hurt detectable in the sound of your voice, betraying the facial expression you put on for his benefit. Eddie notices immediately although doesn’t react to it — for your benefit.
“No offence but as my best friend, I’m not going to believe you when you tell me I’m funny,” he says instead and lifts a tape from the counter, “I took the liberty of renting out ‘Salem’s Lot’, if that’s okay?”
You nod in response and he gets to work in setting up this evening’s movie.
“Full offence because, as your best friend, I am the only one that can tell you the brutal honest truth which includes when you’re not being funny.”
“You’ve never once uttered those words to me, sweetheart.” Eddie sits next to you on the sofa, casually throwing one arm behind you. His fingers graze your shoulder in the process and your stomach flips.
“Yet you still choose to believe Betsy Bolton over me,” you sigh dramatically, ignoring how you were feeling to retain some normality, and place the back of your hand to your forehead in a fainting motion. You tip towards him, gently landing into his chest as you let out a giggle.
Eddie laughs too. He looks down at you, a goofy grin highlighting his features. Then, as the two of you lock eyes, there is a brief moment of silence. Normality is fucked.
What if you just reached for his collar and pulled him in…
The curly haired teen clears his throat and you bite the inside of your cheek, forcing the intrusive thoughts to dissipate from your mind, before sitting back up to focus your attention on the television screen.
Everything is tense again.
You blame yourself. Eddie blames ‘The Neverending Story’.
He also thinks he should have told you then and there how he really feels because what if you felt the same way?
ALIEN
Every time that ugly creature makes an appearance, you can’t help but gag, and Eddie can’t help but chuckle next to you.
“I can’t believe this is one of your favourite films,” you exclaim about three-quarters through, not hiding your disgust.
He shrugs and without taking his eyes off the screen, he skews closer to you and simply states: “Sigourney Weaver is hot.”.
You roll your eyes. “I think I’m arguably better looking than Sigourney Weaver,” you bait, remembering his comments about Al Pacino a couple of weeks back.
He shifts in his spot and proceeds to place a hasty kiss to the top of your head.
“I never said you weren’t,” Eddie mutters against you and you’re wondering whether he’s mocking what you had said to him that night during your rewatch of ‘Cruising’ or whether he’s actually being sincere.
(Hopefully the latter).
BLUE HAWAII
“If I ever get married, one day in the distant future, this is the song I’ll use for my first dance,” you admit quietly as ‘Can’t Help Falling In Love’ plays through the lousy speakers, Elvis Presley’s character singing on screen.
Eddie glances at you, his mouth twitching upwards. “What if your future husband-to-be doesn’t like this song?”
“That’s too bad for him,” you reply and tilt your head to meet his doe-eyed gaze, “It’s Elvis or bust.”
He chuckles while running a hand through his brown locks before shrugging. “Well, I’m not a big fan of Elvis.”
You raise a brow. “Is this your way of asking me to marry you, Eddie Munson?”
Wait, what?
The question rings in his ears and the way you’re looking at him right now definitely doesn’t help in getting his thoughts in order.
So he’s not thinking clearly when he takes off one of his rings. He’s not thinking clearly when he reaches for your left hand. And he’s definitely not thinking clearly when he slides the silver item down your finger with ease.
Your heart is in your throat during the whole interaction. “Is this your way of asking me to marry you, Eddie Munson?”, stupid, why would you even say that?
The film has faded into the background. Your focus is on Eddie and Eddie alone, and you want to scream because this is not platonic behaviour.
The curly haired teen leans in ever so slightly and whispers nonchalantly, “Elvis or bust.” Then, still holding onto your hand, he shifts his attention back to the television.
You want to comment, say literally anything, but you bite your tongue because you started this whole thing and whatever comes out of your mouth next, could make it even harder from crossing a line that cannot be uncrossed.
A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET
Eddie can count the amount of times he’s been truly annoyed with you on one hand.
Truthfully, he lets you get away with a lot of shit because he knows fighting with you over silly little digs or unwarranted comments is not worth the time. And you act exactly the same with him. Nothing said is ever too serious to lead to an argument.
Until this moment. When one hand turns into two and a fight is imminent.
‘The killer's still loose, you know.’
“Eddie, I’m just repeating what I heard!”, your voice is rigid as you stand on your feet and take a step in his direction.
He’s not listening, he chooses not to.
‘You saying somebody else killed Tina? Who?’
“And I think you heard wrong, alright?! There’s just no way—”
“So you’re gonna believe some girl who laughed at one joke over me,” you interrupt, your blood starting to boil at his fucking stuborness, “You’re gonna believe stupid Betsy Bolton over your best friend?!”
How this whole thing even started, you couldn’t really remember anymore. One second you’re buried in his embrace, under the guise of averting your eyes from the screen, and the next thing you know, tensions are high and you’re both yelling.
“Betsy is not stupid!” Eddie counters. His statement causes you to roll your eyes which is a reaction he definitely doesn’t appreciate, “Why are you acting like this, y/n?”
‘I don't know who he is. But he's burned, he wears a weird hat, a red and yellow sweater, real dirty, and he uses some sort of knife he's got made into a sort of... glove. Like giant finger-nails.’
Your feelings are hurt because he’s defending her and you can’t figure out why. “I can’t fucking believe you…”
‘I think you should keep Nancy at home a few days. 'Til she's really over the shock.’
Eddie observes as you grab your cardigan and your bag before making a beeline for the front door of the trailer. He groans. “Where are you going? We’re not finished talking about this.”
‘I got something better…’
“The last thing I want is to be angry with you, Eddie, so I’m just gonna go home,” you state sternly, “Call me when you’ve come to your senses.”
The door shuts with a bang and he lets out a deep sigh.
‘I'm gonna get you help, baby. So no one will threaten you any more.’
FUNNY GIRL
The whole world is spinning when you open your eyes. The scratch in your throat seems to have gotten worse and your fever too, causing your whole body to shiver the second you try to move.
A groan escapes your lips as you try to reach for the tissue box on the bedside table. Although to no avail because the second your fingertips touch its side, the carton falls to the floor.
God, you hate being sick.
You hate being helpless and weak. You hate how heavy your whole body felt, how hard it was to do basic menial tasks. You hate how you had no appetite. On top of it all, you hate how you were missing valuable time with Eddie.
It’s been four whole days since you last saw him. If your memory serves you correctly, this is the longest period of time the two of you had gone without hanging out since you first became friends.
Sadly, the stupid flu you caught wasn’t the only thing to blame here. There’s also the matter of the recent fight your friendship hasn’t really recovered from.
Thinking about Eddie, you slip back into unconsciousness.
You’re not sure how long you’d been asleep for when you wake up later. The bedroom is darker than before and it’s considerably cooler.
You can hear talking and footsteps. The noises seem far away yet close by at the same time. You blame the fever and are about to close your eyes again when there’s a knock on your bedroom door.
“Are you awake?”
A familiar voice asks quietly. You hum something in response and the next thing you know, the mattress dips under the weight of your visitor. You peep from underneath your covers and your heart skips a beat.
“How are you feeling?” Eddie asks, gently cupping your cheek.
“W-what are you doing here?,” you croak in response, “G-get out. I-I could get you sick a-and then I-I would hate myself foreverrr...”
“Relax, sweetheart. Your mom says you’re not contagious anymore,” his voice is reassuring, “She also said they were going out so, and only if you’re up for moving, we can sit downstairs and watch something.”
And that’s how the two of you end up downstairs, on your sofa for a change, tangled up in each other's limbs.
One of his arms is wrapped tightly around you, pulling you into his chest, while the other is propping your thigh against his hip. Your head is resting against him, just below his neck, while your hand is holding onto his side, fingers rubbing gentle circles into his t-shirt.
‘I’m The Greatest Star’ plays in the background.
You can feel his heartbeat. He can feel yours too.
Neither of you say a word for the entire duration of the film.
THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE
It was your idea to switch it up again.
For totally selfish reasons — because it was getting really hard to be completely alone with him — rather than renting out a movie and watching it as usual in Eddie’s trailer, you suggested going to a drive-in.
Convincing your best friend was easy, after all they were playing ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’.
The two of you ended up taking your parent’s car which meant you were behind the wheel and he was in the passenger seat.
You sat with your legs up on the chair and pressed against your chest, to allow you to bury your face in your knees whenever a gory scene was shown on screen.
Eddie on the other hand was completely relaxed in his spot, munching on the bag of trail mix he bought earlier that evening.
He sneaks glances in your direction, just to make sure you are doing okay. This is the first time the two of you are watching a slasher and he’s not close enough to let you hide in his embrace.
“Wanna cut this short?” Eddie asks, “Go get a milkshake or something?”
“No, no,” you answer and turn your head, resting it on your knees. “I gotta get through this film at least once since you’re gonna want to see the second one when it releases in theatres in a couple of months.”
Eddie smirks then raises a brow. “Wait, how do you know there’s going to be a second?”
“Steve told me.”
“You’ve been talking to Steve?”, he sounds jealous. He is jealous.
You nod. “Yeah, I mean I can’t act weird whenever I go rent a movie just because we went on one rather unsuccessful date,” you explain, “Plus we live in the same area so I bump into him every now and again, he gives me a ride to work at the odd time.”
Eddie doesn’t know what to say. Well, actually he does, but it would be an irrational response that would most likely hurt your feelings and he couldn’t risk that. Not right now. Not after the two of you barely got over your last argument.
It’s not his place to tell you not to hang out with Harrington. Just as it wasn’t his place to tell you not to go on a date with the guy in the first place.
You’re quick to notice his doleful grimace. Extending a hand in his direction, you poke his tricep.
“I have to befriend someone else in case you abandon me for Betsy Bolton,” you tease, your best attempt to keep things normal.
Eddie glances down at his lap, his attention focusing on the empty spot on one of his fingers where the ring you now wore around your neck used to be. A warm sensation settles in the pit of his stomach and he knows in that moment, he can’t continue doing this charade with you.
It’s now or never.
“I’ve been ignoring Betsy,” he utters eventually.
“Oh…” you murmur, “Why?”
And now he’s peeping back at you. Natural and ordinary go out the window. They’re replaced by shit, fuck, and what even is being platonic anymore?
He leans across the centre channel and as if on instinct, you let your legs fall from the seat and also incline in his direction. By the time he presses his forehead to yours, you’re shaking slightly because you know there are certain things that cannot be undone.
(Was this a good idea? Or will you both regret this later?)
However, there’s really no time to think about the repercussions because his nose slides down the side of yours and his lips are inches away as they part, his hot breath sending a shiver down your spine.
“She’s not you,” Eddie whispers against your mouth and you’re done for.
One soft inhale later, and his lips brush yours lightly, then again with a little more intent, and again, only deeper. His hands are cupping your face while yours are gripping onto the collar of his denim vest as if your life depended on it.
All of the emotions that had been churning rose to the surface and exploded all at once.
With every passing second you’re melting into him further. The kisses get rougher. You’re biting his bottom lip. His tongue grazes yours. The two of you break apart and come together over and over again like magnets.
A few blissful moments later, Eddie draws back, quite unwillingly, to meet your amiable gaze.
“Shit, sweetheart,” he whispers and licks his lips, “You’ve no idea how long I’ve wanted to fucking do that.”
“Ditto,” you reply breathlessly and lean in to kiss him again, annoyed at yourself now for deciding on the drive-in instead of his comfortable couch.
THE BREAKFAST CLUB
Lately, everything is exhilarating.
Getting up in the morning is easier. The grim Hawkins weather doesn’t seem to bother you as much. Your family is far less insufferable. The people that come to the diner where you work aren’t as annoying. Life is good.
It’s great actually.
And all thanks to the curly haired boy currently reheating leftover lasagna you brought from home.
Ever since your first kiss at the drive-in, the two of you have been pretty much on top of one another. Constantly holding hands, hugging, making out, finally doing all of the things you both dreamt of for months on end.
Eddie in particular found it hard to keep his hands to himself. Who could blame him? You were smoking hot and finally his.
At least unofficially.
Even though he’s thought about asking you to be his girlfriend on numerous occasions since the night at the drive-in, he hasn’t found the opportune moment. He also didn’t want to pressure you, because what if you didn’t want to be anything more than whatever it was the two of you were right now?
He couldn’t handle that kind of rejection so in the interim, this arrangement suited him just fine. That’s what he told himself at least.
“Just be careful, sweetheart,” he warns as he hands you a plate, “That microwave may be old but it’s got some kick to it. The food is piping.”
The corners of your mouth twitch upwards and you reach for the dish, thanking him. Eddie returns the smile and plops down on the sofa, in his spot next to you, before proceeding to resume the film.
‘Are all these your girlfriends?’
‘Some of them…’
‘What about the others?’
“I have to say,” you begin in between bites of food, “you kinda remind me of Bender.”
Eddie cocks his head in your direction and raises a brow at your admission. “Is it because I too have a wallet full of pictures of random chicks?”, he teases and you nudge his side using your elbow.
“Hilarious,” your tone is sarcastic, “I bet the photos you cherish most are of Chrissy and Betsy.”
‘Well, some I consider my girlfriends and some...I just consider…’
‘Consider what?’
‘Whether or not, I wanna hang out with them…’
He chuckles at your comment. “You’re an idiot,” he jokes and places the plate of food in his lap to free up his hands. He reaches over to hold your face, brushing his fingers gently along your jawline.
“Actually, the only picture I have in my wallet is yours.”
Heat rushes to your cheeks, the revelation settling in the air. You almost want to ask him if he’s bluffing but judging by the glimmer in his eyes, you know he’s being honest.
You swallow your breath and lean in to peck his lips.
“So let me get this straight,” you murmur against his mouth and his grip on your face tightens ever so slightly, “A photo of me is in your wallet, I have one of your cherished rings around my neck, yet you still won’t ask me to be your girlfriend?”
‘You don't believe in just one guy, one girl?’
‘Do you?’
‘Yeah...that's the way it should be.’
Eddie smirks, his heart skipping a beat. He analyses every inch of your face, capturing this moment forever. God, he was the luckiest fucking guy in the world.
“And if I asked, would you say yes?”
“I would.”
He’s grinning now, as are you.
“Then I guess it’s settled, sweetheart. You’re my girlfriend now.”
His mouth slants over yours with ease, not giving you a chance to respond. His body pushes into yours and you have to be extra careful not to drop the dish you were still holding onto, (because pasta sauce is not the easiest to clean out of cushions).
Eddie’s mouth is possessive and it doesn’t take long for his tongue to breach your lips, the kiss now deeper than ever.
Your heart is on a rampage as both your heads rotate back and forth to vary pressure. Tongues are dancing together, each trying to assert dominance.
Eddie bites down on your bottom lip vigorously, causing a velvety moan to escape. The smooth sound of pleasure is music to his ears and breathless, he pulls away. This position isn’t working anymore, he wants to be able to touch you all over.
“I think you should put that plate to the side so we can move this to the bedroom,” he suggests, his hand slowly travelling down to your neck.
“But I wanna know how the movie ends,” you whine, teasing a little.
The doe-eyed boy smirks and releases you from his grip. Rather impatiently, he reaches for the half-eaten lasagna dish in your grasp to set it aside. He stands, extending you his hand which you take instantly.
He spins you around once and you land gracefully into his chest.
“I can tell you how it ends,” Eddie offers in a whisper, his arms sneaking around your waist, holding you in place.
“Oh yeah?”
He nods. “The guy gets the girl.” — and in the space of a heartbeat, Eddie lowers his mouth back down to yours with immense desire.
-
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You can totally choose to look past this cuz it might be a lot (Tw trauma?) I just got Carried, you know when Carrie (from the movie) she gets a bucked full of blood over her head on prom? A guy asked me out and to my surprise, I was blessed with ketchup, eggs and flour by him and his friends, the subway didn’t let me in and no Uber would accept me getting in a car, so I had to walk home. No one asked me what was wrong
I’m still processing that actually happened,. I’m assuming it’s bc of my weight, I’m tall and overweight, I mainly keeps things to myself, am a introvert, idk what other thing could be a reason besides my body. Could you please write a comfort scenario with the tmnt boys? Or one of them, you can choose, Could be platonic, romantic, idk, just reader (who’s usually friendly but don’t talk much about their romantic life cuz they don’t feel like it’s worth investing time, and when they finally decide to change that, thst happens) crying as a mess in front of them for the first time, saying they are tired of living in a body that feels more of a curse than anything,
It’s a lot, I know, you can delete this if you aren’t comfortable doing it (I’m 100% serious)
Thank you Eitherway and hope you have a good day
first of all, I’m so sorry that happened to you. back in high school, I was doused after classes so I can definitely understand your pain here. they are absolutely pathetic for even thinking about doing that to someone; they are total assholes because they acted on it too and I wish for it to haunt them one day when (or if) they mature. you did amazing on your way home that day - I hope that, with time, things will get better for you. you deserve great things. I haven’t written anything with all of the boys before but I wanted to give it a try for you to cheer you up. I wish you well, and I hope you can find comfort in our wonderful turtles!
« got your back »
tmnt x reader / angst + fluff
notes: 1.6k words, all turtles included, platonic relationship, gender neutral reader (no pronouns used,) first person pov, I was thinking of 2012 tmnt while writing this but it probably fits with most iterations.
I can’t believe I’m walking home in the dark, completely covered in miscellaneous goop. I’m glad I didn’t tell anyone about the date that was supposed to happen tonight because, if someone saw me right now, I don’t know what I would do. no public transport let me on covered in eggs and flour, the same for taxis, so now I’m stuck dragging myself home by my own two feet. they are awfully heavy despite my hurry to get back which doesn’t seem fair at all - it’s like my body is laughing at me in equal measure to the rest of the crowd back there.
put your head down and keep walking, put your head down and keep walking, put your—
“hey guys, look!” I stop in my tracks as soon as I hear that voice echo through the night sky. it sounded too much like mikey to simply ignore it.
“mikey, for the last time, shh! ninjas, remember?” that was definitely leo. they all must be up on a roof somewhere but I don’t dare to look up. my feet won’t move anymore regardless, they’re refusing to pick up and run. my body really does hate me tonight huh?
“mikey is right though, look down - hey there!” I slowly crane my neck towards the sound of their chatters and am met with possibly the worst sight I could see at this exact moment: all four of my mutant friends standing on a nearby roof, just as I suspected.
“hi everyone,” I give an awkward wave as they stare down at me.
“want to meet up at the entrance to the lair to hang? we’re just heading back,” raph calls out.
I need a plan, and fast.
thankfully, they can’t see that I’m covered in mush from where they are, but if I go to the lair then that will change. however, if I say ‘no’ to hanging out with them then they’ll get suspicious anyway and follow after me. they’re my best friends, my favourite thing in the whole world is hanging out with them. even if I genuinely can’t hang out we still find a loophole to be together.
either of these choices leaves me doomed to talk about this disaster of a night eventually so…
“sure, you go ahead and I’ll be there in a second.”
…I go with option one.
I knew the boys would get there first so I’ve had more time to come up with some lame lie before I face them: one point to me. I slap on a brave face and a ridiculously wide smile in the hopes that it would distract them from what I have going on all over my clothes. taking a deep breath, I turn the final corner to enter the lair.
“hey bud!” mikey bursts through the rest of the guys and comes skipping towards me. I freeze and simply wait for him to see me in the light. “woah, what happened to you?”
after hearing mikey’s question, everyone starts to crowd in around me, thinking I had been hurt or something on the way here. to their surprise, I have no cuts or scrapes…just a bunch of different types of produce in my hair. they begin to mutter more questions but my mind is too hazy to hear them clearly, opting to stand there and stare into the space behind them. leo notices me zoning out pretty quickly and leads me to the seating area in the middle of the lair by my arm, the rest of the boys following with worry in their eyes.
I sit down on the couch; raph bends down in front of me, donnie sits on my right, mikey hangs over the back of the couch to lean on my left, and leo rests his hands on my shoulders from behind me.
“who did this to you? I’ll kill them, I’ll punch them into the ground I swear to god—“
“raph, calm down. we need to know what happened first before we start going haywire.” I’ve never seen donnie look so aggravated before. it looks like he secretly wants to join in with raph’s immediate anger instead of acting ‘rationally’ this time.
“no need for punching anyone or anything ha! I— uh— tripped while I was walking home and fell straight into a pile of garbage surrounding a dumpster. how clumsy of me ha! I’m so silly. I wasn’t watching where I was going and it was dark so…” my words trail off as I finally look directly at my friends. none of them are believing this story at all.
“tell us the truth, it’s alright. you’re safe here.” leo speaks with such a warm tone, it makes holding back my tears even harder than it already was.
“I’m fine! I promise I’m fine, really I just tripped!” I force my lips into a thin line, trying to twist them into some kind of smile, until mikey pokes at my cheek. I turn to him.
“please tell us what’s wrong.” is he giving me puppy eyes? damn it mikey…
I couldn’t push back my tears any longer and the flood gates exploded. I was in hysterics, sobbing so loudly it bounced off the walls of the lair. I couldn’t stop, each sob rippled through me and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. the boys cooed at me, all of them placing a hand somewhere on my body to ground me and to let me know that I’m not alone as I cried. they tried still asking me questions but I couldn’t get out any words, only heartbreaking whimpers left my mouth. they accepted their fate of silent sobs though and simply stayed beside me.
after a while, I’ve calmed down slightly, and I see the boys look at each other and nod in the corner of my blurry eyes. then, all of a sudden, raph and leo run off. they come back not long after with a basin of water, towels and some other things that I can’t quite see cradled in their large hands. my curiosity is answered in a split second though as the four begin to wipe away the dirt that covers me, still allowing me to ride out my cries in the meantime.
raph gets back into his bent position to gently clean my face, donnie and mikey clean down my arms, and leo starts to brush my hair the best that he can. it must be a brush that april keeps here at the lair, since I don’t think I’ve left one here before.
they continued like this - softly wiping and rinsing - until they were sure that they had done all they can do to rid me of this sticky mess, and until I was able to stabilise my breathing and speak somewhat clearly again.
“april is going to be mad that you got ketchup on her hairbrush,” I say lowly between hiccups. leo laughs and assures me that the brush is perfectly fine; no need to worry.
it is silent (apart from the sound of my sniffling) while they put down their tools and clear them away from the couch, until donnie speaks, “we don’t want to push you to talk but we are here to listen if you want to.”
maybe it is finally time to talk about it. as much as I don’t want to, I think I need to. I’m always the one with a bright smile and cheery attitude but I need to let that go for now. I need comfort, and I need to admit that to myself - even if it’s for this singular moment.
I begin to explain the story of the date and how it went terribly wrong - just the vital details to build the story rather than adding my feelings about it. being vulnerable like this isn’t my strong point so I need to prepare myself to talk about that part with truth and from the heart.
I can see the pure rage in raph’s eyes as he sits in front of me, his teeth grinding together and a low growl coming out of him. he goes to say something but donnie stops him with a hand on his shoulder. he gives red a pat and he seems to understand what he is signalling, inhaling and exhaling with his eyes closed before fixing his posture to listen to me again.
“you know, I don’t know if I want raph to rough up him or rough up me at this point,” I let out a laugh to try and soften the atmosphere but the expressions of the boys tell me that it didn’t work. they look confused; sad. “a good rough up might fix whatever is wrong with me, because it’s obviously me. look at me! why else would he have made plans to humiliate me like that? what do I need to punch into shape - the way I look? the way I act?” I laugh again with the same intent as earlier despite knowing that it is going to do nothing to lessen the impact of my words.
“did he specifically make you feel like that?” raph says through gritted teeth, “that you’re not good enough?”
“no, I guess I’ve been feeling that way for a while. he just made it worse - a lot worse.” my eyes start to burn again with more tears. I’m surprised I’m not dehydrated yet.
mikey grabs my face in his hands, his eyes also look clouded with tears, “you are so beautiful. really, you are. I remember when I first saw you I was like ‘woah, they’re even prettier than the humans I see on tv!’ you don’t need to change anything about the way you look, I can tell you that for sure.”
“nor do you need to change anything about your personality or how you act,” donnie chimes in. “why do you think we like you so much? you’re awesome! you’re smart, kind, caring, plus you treat us like we’re golden and we’re literally in the sewers right now,” we all giggle at the last statement he makes.
leo pats me on the head, signally me to look up towards him, “you are the greatest friend we could have ever asked for, and if we need to remind you of that more then we will. you deserve to feel that you’re worthy and loved and I can tell you with certainty that you are when you’re here with us. there’s no need to hide from us, we’ve got you’re back.”
raph grabs my hand, “and seriously, if you want us to go and talk to that guy we will.”
“raph!” the others shout. I laugh at the slight panic hiding in their voices - it’s fully directed at their brother and his fists.
“what?! I said talk not bash into the ground so what do you want from me?!”
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Hearts of Sea Stone
Relationship: Sean Renard x Reader, Nick Burkhardt x Reader(Platonic)
Fandom: Grimm
Request: No
Warnings: Brief Strong Language, Fluff, Angst
Word Count: 6,629
Main Masterlist: Here
Grimm Masterlist: Here
Part 1: Tidal Wave // Part 3: Lost to the Sea
Summary: Caught in a net of mysteries, Nick Burkhardt has to find what is the truth, and what is false.
“So I shall die," said the little mermaid, "and as the foam of the sea I shall be driven about never again to hear the music of the waves, or to see the pretty flowers nor the red sun. Is there anything I can do to win an immortal soul?”
“Are you certain that was his name?” Nick felt bad for shaking the startled woman but he needed to be sure that he had heard her correctly.
“Of course I am,” she defended, “I’d sooner die than forget his name.” She looked incensed at the hidden accusation in the detective’s tone.
“Alright. I believe you but you need to come with me, and trust me.” And with that, the unlikely duo were off to go inside the precinct. Uniformed officers milled about, but not as many as there were during the day when he was usually here.
Nick could feel his breathing pick up but he did not know why. Why was he nervous about having this Tödlicheslied inside the office where his captain with the same name and same face as her supposedly dead lover might be? There was a light on in his captain’s office and felt a bit conflicted. Does he rip the bandaid off, or is there a way he can ease her into this?
“Nick?” She called softly, drawing him back into the present. He noticed that they had stopped in the threshold of the specific room where his desk was located. Letting out a sharp breath from his lips, the detective nodded and tried to get himself back in the game.
“Sorry. Um, my desk is just over here.” He stole a glance to the private office, and saw the blinds were open. Burkhardt set the woman in Hank’s chair with her back facing the captain’s line of sight and sat down in his own chair. Clicking his computer awake, Nick tried hard to keep his eyes on the screen and on the woman.
“So what is the name of the hotel you’re in?” His question sounded strained, but there was no way for his to stop it.
“It’s the Rose Red hotel on fifth and second.” She replied sweetly and softly, choosing not to draw attention to his tone.
“Okay, got their information. Now this book store. What’s the name?” Trying to wrack her brain for an answer, Nick casts his eyes over to the captain’s office. It did not appear that he noticed them in this late yet.
“I think it was called ‘Book Nook.’ I’m pretty sure that’s what it was called.” She had calmed down since she first met the Grimm, but being questioned about her whereabouts was enough to make her nervous again. Her hands began to fiddle with her necklaces yet again which drew the man’s attention to them once more.
“Okay. Do you mind if I have that for a moment,” his hand pointed to hers, “the gold one at least.” A shaky breath and a look of panic was all he got in return. Nick held up his hands in a, hopefully, non-threatening manner towards the woman.
“I just want to ask my captain if he knows the man in that photo. He’s been here longer, and may recognize him. Or maybe he remembers seeing a John Doe that looks like him. Please, it’ll be for just a moment.” He watched her battle herself once more and fiddle with the necklaces even more. It took another minute before her hands reached behind her head and unclamped the gold necklace that hung around her throat. Delicately, it was placed in Nick’s awaiting hand, who closed his fingers around it softly.
“Thank you. I’ll be right back.” Standing, he sent the woman another reassuring smile and watched her fiddle with the lessened weight around her neck before walking over to his captain’s office. Three knocks later and a call for him to enter was heard. Nick kept the locket and chain hidden from view at first, wanting to see how this was going to play out.
“Captain.” The detective called, watching him intensely.
“Nick,” a surprised statement came, “I thought you had gone home already.” Sean dropped his pen on his desk and turned his attention to the Grimm before him.
“I wanted to ask you something, but it might be kind of personal.” He started, unsure of how he was going to play this out even this far into it. Renard’s face scrunched in confusion before signaling the younger man to continue. But Nick could only get out the name the young lady at his desk had provided him. Sean’s face drop, and felt his heart grow icy as it fell into his stomach.
“How do you know that name?” He questioned, standing up slowly and maintaining eye contact with Burkhardt.
“So you know her?” He sent back, keeping his tone level and hands closed.
“Nick, I will ask you once more. How do you know that name?” Renard’s voice turned deadly.
“I need to know how you knew her first. Tell me that, and I’ll tell you how I know.” Nick spoke determined. Sean sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face as he thought about what to say next. The captain motioned to the chairs in front of him and his detective followed the movement.
“I was very young, keep that in mind.” He sighed yet again. “The only time I’ve ever truly been in love was with… her.”
“When I moved to Portland, I was lost for a bit. Had no idea what I was going to do exactly and would often find myself at the edge of the Willamette river just thinking.” Sean’s eyes glazed over as he was sucked into his memories.
“One night, I found a woman that was unlike anything I had seen. I heard myths of Tödlicheslied, but never thought I would see one in person. She was scared, rightly so. They don’t go near humanity except to feed. Eventually she was able to calm down enough that she could become less noticeable.” Nick felt his own hands trace over the locket in his hands.
“We tried to find her family, but it looked like they had abandoned her. Didn’t stop us from trying every full moon after that first month though. I helped her after she accidentally charmed a young man on the street into becoming obsessed with her. It was then I realized I needed to keep her safe, from anything. There are certain tonics that minimize the effect her voice had. A specific cream to keep her skin from drying out in between swims.” Renard leaned back in his chair and acquired a soft small on his face.
“I guess, over time, we fell in love. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced. There was a time right after I joined the force, that she waited up for me until 6:30 in the morning the following day. She went to bed at eight, but she waited up because I hadn’t checked in and was so worried that something had happened to me that she left crystals all over our coffee table.” This simple confession piqued Nick’s interest.
“Crystals?” He asked.
“Tödlicheslieden cry crystals on land. It has to do with the oxygen mixing with the chemical make up of the solution. We tried to figure it out when she was still here. But they cry crystals. Anyways,” the captain took a deep breath, “her family did eventually find her. About a year later. There message was clear: she was to return to the sea and her clan, or they would make her do so. They didn’t take kindly to her asking for time to think about her answer.” Another deep breath. Sean’s hand went to his neck, like there was something that was supposed to be there for him to mess with.
“That night, we were on the banks of the Willamette, trying to think about what our plan was. That’s when they jumped us. A couple of her cousins grabbed her and took her below the surface. Her father and brothers, however, stayed on land just long enough to ‘knock some sense into me.’ Their words, not mine. I don’t quite remember what happened after that, they hit me pretty good. Next thing I knew, I was watching an ambulance pull up on my location, and someone was asking my name.” Sean kept rubbing his hand just under the collar of his neck while he spoke.
“What happened to the woman?” Nick questioned softly, trying to keep from doing anything brash or sudden.
“I never knew,” Renard shook his head, “I tried to look out for a sign that she was coming back but nothing. I think at some point I just accepted that she had either truly forgotten me, or had died trying to get back to me. Whichever, I can only hope that she’s happier now.”
“Your hand keeps going to your collar. Is there something that’s supposed to be there?” The captain’s face hardened, as if he was trying to keep himself from becoming too emotional and remain objective. Like this was another investigation.
“We had matching lockets. I got them for us around the one year mark. Her’s was silver, mine was gold. She always looked better in silver than she did in gold.” His eyes glazed over once more, and his voice took on a soft, dream-like quality.
“A necklace like this?” Only then did Burkhardt place the golden chain and locket on his captain’s desk and watched.
Watched for a sign of emotion, of some sort of humanity in the man. It took a minute, but as Sean Renard came out of his thoughts to observe the object on his desk. A breath was punched out from the chest of the older man as he gingerly picked up the chain. He gasped in disbelief and tried to find the words to voice his thoughts, but none came to mind. In all the languages he knew or was fluent in, there were no words to describe the feeling of seeing the necklace in almost twenty years.
“Where did you find this?” Sean choked out, feeling his throat close.
“I need to know something first. Would she ever commit murder?” A humorless chuckle puffed out from the captain’s lungs.
“No. Never. When she lived with me, she went completely vegetarian, and was super careful about using her voice. Especially if she didn’t have the dampening tonic.” Both sets eyes stayed locked on the flash of gold.
“Okay. Is it possible that she could have been living her the entire time, trying to find you and never did?” Sean blinked, and leveled Nick with a look he had never seen before.
“Excuse me?” The captain growled, but the detective was unfazed.
“Captain, I’m pretty sure that I found her.” Renard said nothing. Not a word. But instead, he turned back to the locket and clicked it open. Photos he never thought he would see again, stared up at him. Black and white images of him happy that almost felt like a lifetime ago.
“Where is she?” Sean was sure that he was going to cry if he did not see the woman after all this.
“She’s out at my desk,” Renard stood with a fury, “wait!” Nick shouted at the taller man.
“Just, be careful. I’m still checking out her alibi for the drownings.”
“There is no way that she could have done this. Now if you will excuse me.” With that, Sean left the office in a blaze. The gold necklace in his hand felt like lead the closer he got to the woman who was still sat in Hank’s chair, beside Nick’s desk. The Grimm watched from the threshold of the office as the scene unfurled.
Calculated steps moved the man closer and closer to her. The same woman he had not seen in almost two decades. Her hair was shorter than it was back then. But her skin was no less as luminous, even underneath the precinct lights. Sean felt his hands begin to clam, and his throat tighten even more than before. There was no less than five feet between the pair, and yet, he made no move to call for her. As if he did, she would be gone just like how she disappeared every time from his dreams. Nick watched with keen eyes, and cleared his throat loud enough to catch attention. Renard turned to face his subordinate, and was drawn away when a gasp was heard from behind his head now.
Turning back, Sean watched tears gather in her eyes. He felt his own breath get pulled from his chest, and it appeared that she was suffering from the same breathlessness. Before he realized it, he was whispering her name, hoping that she was truly there.
“Sean? Is that really you?” Her whimper made the man’s heart burst in his chest.
“Yes. It’s me.” He whispered back at her. In all of about three seconds, the woman had thrown herself into his chest, and sighed as his arms wrapped tightly around her.
“You’re alive! I can’t believe you’re alive.” The words were slightly muffled into Sean’s chest, but neither one could find it in their hearts to care too much.
“Oui, mon siréne. I’m alive. And you’re here, on land.” One hand stayed on her back, keeping her pressed as closely as she possibly could. While the other one, traveled to pet the top of her head, and lay a kiss in the wake of his hand.
“Of course I am. I tried so hard to find you. Couldn’t exactly do that from the water now could I?” She teased, and was rewarded with another squeeze and kiss to her head. Pushing her lover away, the naiad looked at him in his eyes once more.
“I don’t understand though,” she began feeling her lashes become wet with unshed tears, “I thought you had died? They gave me your-” she cut her own words off. The necklace was resting against her head, still captured in Sean’s hand.
“No. No. Do you honestly think that it will only take a beating to kill me? Come now, mon siréne.” The hand on her head moved to cradle her face. Shockingly cool metal graced her cheeks from where the necklace was tanged in his fingers.
“I tried so hard to come back. But when I did I was… captured. It’s the only reason I don’t have my family trying to get to me now.” Her whispers were meant only for Sean, and this admission made his skin prickle.
“Captured? By who? I need the name.” He stated, ripe with a protective and possessive energy.
“Don’t worry about it. I took care of it.” She reassured him.
“Here.” Her hands reached up and took the gold chain from his fingers. She took apart the clasp mechanism and placed it around the man’s throat before securing it once more. The weight was something Sean had almost forgotten about, but now that it was back, he felt like there was no time that had passed since they tore it from his neck.
“I hate to break up the reunion,” it was only then that the couple realized that Nick was still there amongst them. “But, you can go back if you would like. I’ll call if I have any updates or any more questions.”
“Captain, you may want to take the night off.” He offered gently, watching Sean and his lady take in his words.
“I’ll be right back. Don’t move. I’ll return shortly.” Renard all but ran back to his office to close down for the night.
“How did you know?” She questioned softly to the Grimm before her. He turned his head from his captain to the woman and acquired a soft smile.
“The picture frame in your dressing room. I realize that the photo is almost twenty years old, but it looked too similar to Sean not to be him. Plus, when you told me his name, I had more conformation.” Nick explained, watching as she accepted the explanation. Eventually, her tears became too great for her to keep them in, and fat droplets rolled down her face. As the water ran off her face, crystals seemed to form as if by magic mid way through the air. She tried to catch them, but was blinded by more crystals, leaving Nick to help catch them instead.
“Are you okay?” Sean’s voice rang out. His tone was concerned, as he ran back over and help to catch the crystals as well. A tissue appeared in his hand and he began to dab away the water from her face.
“I’m sorry for that. Yes, I’m okay. Just been an emotional night I guess.” She held her hands out, and Nick followed his captain’s lead as he passed back the stones. Her hands pulled a bag from her coat pocket, and the crystals disappeared from view.
“Do you always keep those stones with you?” The young Grimm asked, his brows furrowing in confusion.
“Yeah,” she nodded, “these used to be used for potency in different kinds of spells, and potions. If anyone got a hold of them, who knows what they could be used for.” While she dismissed the words, Nick certainly did not.
“Is it possible that someone did get a hold of these without your knowledge?” He asked, watching the young woman think hard about her answer.
“If someone did, it would have to be someone on my staff. Very few people have access to my dressing room where I keep them for that reason.” Sean wrapped his arm around his lady, and kept his eyes on her.
“Well, you two head home. I’ll let you know what I find out.” He did not need another invitation; Renard bid the detective goodnight and walked the young lady out of the precinct. She giggled as he nearly tripped over himself getting her over to the car.
The ride to Sean’s condo was spent in silence. Not because they could not find the words, but rather there were simply too many words that needed to pass between them. With his left hand on the steering wheel, and his right hand on her thigh, Sean’s self-control was tested to an unbelievable level as he tried not to speed. Meanwhile, she had her hands both on his hand and thought about how close they had been all this time, yet neither one knew it.
Parking, and walking through the front door passed in a blur. Neither one could believe that they were actually with the other as they walked up the stairs to the condo. Opening the door, Sean allowed her a moment to look around before he tugged her back to him. He pushed her against the door with a gentle shove, and slotted their bodies together as he captured her lips in his. Her hands came up to scratch through his short hair, and found purchase on the broad shoulders she once knew so very well.
There were so many thoughts running around both of their heads. Years that they have lost together and now being able to spend them together. They could never recover all those years alone, but they could certainly make up for it now. She decided to deepen their kiss, allowing her tongue to run over the seam of his lips. Sean returned in kind by picking her up and walking towards his bedroom. He did not need to be able to see where he was going, only needed to know that his siren was back in his arms.
His siren. A title she had never lost, yet it seemed like a distant memory of holding it. Renard tossed her on the bed where she landed with a giggle, but he did not waste any time in climbing back on top of her. Reconnecting their lips, he allowed his hands to trace over the familiar curves and markings that he knew so well. Muscle memory trailed his hand down the left side of her neck, where she jerked away as if she had been burned. A look of panic mauled her features, causing Sean to lean away just enough to give her some space.
“Siréne? What happened? What did I do?” He asked, quickly trying to find an answer. That used to be her favorite spot for him to caress as it caused full body shocks to course through her.
“No, darling. You did nothing. It’s just I…” her sentence trailed off as she stared into space. Renard leaned back on his haunches fully and grasped her hands to pull her up.
“Would you like to get ready for bed? You can tell me if you would like.” Sean’s offer came. She nodded, unable to form words right at that moment. He slipped off the bed and knelt down to where her feet rested. Gently, as if she was made of porcelain, he undid the buckles holding her shoes on and pressed a soft kiss to her calves when he was done.
“I’m afraid I don’t have anything proper to take off your makeup.” He commented as he pulled her to the bathroom. She just shrugged in acceptance and allowed her lover to continue. Sean lathered up his face wash, and rubbed her face in gentle, circular motions. It would not be the best, but it would have to do until he could get her something’s to leave over there. Wetting a cotton ball, he took just a tad bit of cleanser and rubbed it over her eyes, dissolving and wiping away her makeup.
“When I was captured,” she finally spoke after he wiped away the cleanser, “I was captured by a Grimm.” Her admittance stopped Renard from applying the toner to the cotton pad. He turned to her in a look of concern and anger.
“After I escaped the clan, I came upon the Willamette once more and tried to change back. But I got caught in a net. When I was pulled from the water, a Grimm stared me down. He wanted to study me, study my scales, crystals. Anything, since there isn’t much known about Tödlicheslied in the Grimm or wesen world.” Soft cotton swiped across her skin, allowing the toner to sink in. Sean used the time it was going to take her skincare to sink in to do his at the sink. Always keeping an ear out for her soft words.
“He kept me in my woge state with drugs. It wasn’t fun,” Renard felt his blood boil, “one of the things he did was take my scales.” She pulled down the top of her dress enough that he could see a scar in the crook where her shoulder met her neck. Allowing herself to partially woge out, Sean saw the dull patch where the scar was amongst all of her glittering scales that had yet to breech the surface.
“He left the locks undone one night, so I tried to run,” her dress was pulled back in place as Sean placed the moisturizer on her face and neck. “I didn’t get far, but I was able to scratch his pretty good since I had yet to come out of that state. He drowned in the Willamette, unable to fight back because of his blood loss. I don’t know if they ever found his body though. Anything and everything he had on me, I destroyed. I couldn’t risk being found out, by Grimm or by wesen.” Sean kept quiet while he placed eye cream on both of them.
“When my clan caught up to me again, they disowned me. According to them, I allowed myself to be captured and studied. I allowed that man to take my scales. After that, they left me alone. It’s been difficult to even look at that spot some days, let alone have anyone else touch it.” The man pressed a kiss to her forhead, but still said nothing as he went to his closet to fetch something for them both to wear. While he was away, she turned back to the mirror and felt ashamed at the dull patch on her body. Forcing herself to return to her human state, she brushed her fingers barely over the scar.
“I don’t much mind.” Sean’s voice startled her out of her thoughts. Turning, she saw he held two sets of silk pajamas in his hands. Setting them down on the counter around the sink, his hands gently maneuvered her to stare at herself in the mirror. Strong yet soft hands slid the jacket from her shoulders, and the zipper from her dress. Curling calloused hands around her shoulder, Renard took things very slow, and allowed for her to stop him at any point.
But she did not. She just allowed him to take care of her, like he used to do all those years ago. It felt nice to have him here again, making sure she was taken care of. She had not felt like this in years, it almost felt foreign. Spending so long on her own, could she allow him to fall back into their routine they had established years ago? He placed his hands on her now exposed waist, and dropped his head onto the top of her shoulder. His head moved up and down in a comforting manner, and he trailed his nose close to the scar. Her breath hitched in her throat, feeling him so close to a spot she tried to forget about.
Sean nosed closer and closer to that spot, but kept a keen watch on her body language. While she was tense, she had not pushed him away as he narrowed in on the scar. The second he laid a gentle kiss on it, she felt like collapsing. He pressed yet another kiss, this one more prevalent in pressure, and her eyes shed crystallized tears. They landed in the sink, but neither on of them cared too much for where they ended up.
“It’s alright, mon siréne. This doesn’t make me love you any less. You had no choice,” his words brought more tears to her eyes. “It’s not your fault.”
Oh. That made her heart and head hurt. She did not realize how much she needed to hear those words come from him until just then. Another tissue was used to catch her tears, but she just stood there. Her body refused to move on its own accord, which was probably just the overwhelming emotions she had felt this evening.
Sean reached around and helped to work his lover into his pajamas. A sky blue with navy trim adorned her body, and looked so adorably oversized. His own black and gold set waited as he made sure she was taken care of first. Leading her back into the bedroom, he tucked her underneath his silk sheets and pressed a kiss to her head.
“I’ll be right back. Stay there.” She nodded, and watched him disappear back into the bathroom. It was truly only a moment before Sean returned to his lover who was still turned towards where he had left to. Crawling underneath the covers, Renard opened his arms and allowed the woman to find her place in them. She placed her head on his chest and felt the beating heart reassure her underneath her cheek. It was just like that, the couple drifted off to sleep. Hoping that they would not wake from this most amazing dream they had.
~
A shrill ringing sound awoke the man early in the morning. Blindly reaching over with one arm, he tried to find the source and got rid of it. His right arm was caught around his lover. However, the shrill sound started once more prompting him to react to the sound of his phone going off.
“Renard.” He answered unenthusiastically. The woman had yet to so much as stir though.
“Captain, it’s Burkhardt. We’ve got another body. Drowned in the Willamette with an aquamarine stone in hand.” His attention was solely focused on the phone now. Sean sat up and tried to keep the lady asleep but it did not help. She was awake the second he moved, and rested her head back on his; this time it rested on his lap.
“I’ll be right in. See you in thirty.” Without giving his detective a chance to respond, he hung up his phone and breathed out a deep sigh.
“Duty calls?” Her voice drifted into his thoughts from below him. Renard gazed down at her, and smiled as she cuddled into his thigh. His hand pet through her head as he nodded.
“Unfortunately. But, I’ll make you some breakfast and drop you off wherever you need to be before going in.” Yet again, they fell into the same routine they had years ago like no time had passed. She dressed in her outfit from last night, but allowed Sean to place her shoes back on. It was the one thing that he always insisted that she let him do when it came to dressing. As she washed her face, Renard went into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee, a cup of tea, and begin breakfast. But looking at the clock on his counter, he cursed lightly. Looking around the cupboards, he found some muffins that had been given to him by a very gracious neighbor a couple of days ago.
Fresh faced, and dressed, Sean felt his breath get taken out from his body once more. It reminded him of when they were young, and she would stay at home and wait for him to get back.
“We don’t have the time to make breakfast, but I do have your tea. We have to go though, I’m afraid.” He handed her a thermos, placed his coffee in another one, and grabbed a couple of muffins from the box.
The couple made their way out the door and down the stairs of the condo. Hand in hand, down to the car that awaited them in the garage. Sean opened her door, and let her get in and secured first, before rounding and doing the same for himself.
“Where do you need to be?” The man started the car and began to drive away from his home.
“There’s a club on the corner of fifth and second that I’m preforming at. There’s a hotel near that I’m staying at. I’ll need to double check my dressing room and then I’ll be going to my hotel.” Sean nodded, and draped his hand over to rest on her thigh. Lacing their hands together, she took a sip from the warm beverage container in hand and made a pleasant hum.
“This is my favorite tea. You still have some?” She questioned happily, taking another sip. Renard chuckled and squeezed her thigh.
“Of course I remembered. Whenever I am upset, I would make a cup of that and be transported back. It has never failed me in all these years.” He spared a glance before returning to the road, and loved the look she had. All too soon, the drive was over as they pulled over to the club where she was preforming.
“Would you like me to wait? I can drop you off at your hotel afterwards.” Sean offered, but she shook her head.
“I’ll be alright. It’s just right across the road and you have to get to work. I appreciate it though.” Her seatbelt was unbuckled, and she turned in her seat to face the man. Cradling his face in her hands, she laid a loving kiss on his lips, to which he returned. But before it could become anything more, she pulled away, causing Sean to groan.
“Later.” She giggled, and slipped out of the car and back into the club. The police captain strangely felt like calling out sick for work, but thought against it. He knew where she was staying. He would be getting her again. Sean watched her until he knew that she had made it safely inside before speeding off towards the crime scene that he was called in on.
~
“Our victim is a Jessie Batey. He was an accountant for a local charity organization. Same circumstances as before.” Nick explained, watching his captain step out onto the crime scene.
“Do we know how any of these victims were connected?” Sean inquired, watching the commotion around the scene.
“They all went to a Sirena show the night before their death.” Nick stated, and watched as Renard whipped his head around.
“Now we’ve already cleared her. But someone is using her shows as a hunting ground. We need to know why.” The detective explained as he watched the body closely.
“Yeah. We do. Let’s find it out and fast.” Sean walked back to the edge of the water to look closer over the scene, hoping to find something that he could use, but came up short. He did not know what he was missing, but it was really starting to bug him.
~
Stepping inside the club with her spare key, she knew that no one would be around quite yet. It was still pretty early in the day. Everything was still packed away from the night before, and her door appeared to her shortly. However when she tried the door, it was unlocked. That greatly confused her. She was sure that she had locked it last night when she left with the detective and blutbad.
Continuing inside, she took a quick surveillance of her room and rushed inside. Someone took the crystals from the bowl. No one on her staff for the staff here that would have a key to this place would do this. So why were they gone? Crouching, she looked around, hoping that she had just spilled them, but to no such avail.
There was a slight shift of fabric she heard that caught her attention. Her head shot up and her body followed as she watched a young man, no older than twenty-five stepped out from her dressing corner.
“Hello Sirena. I’ve been waiting for you.” He breathed out, apparently taken aback from being this close to the naiad. She was confused and said nothing out of shock.
“Oh,” he suddenly remembered something, “thank you for the gifts. I greatly appreciate it.” His hands dug around his pockets, and procured a small baggie that held the missing crystals in them.
“You stole my crystals?” Before she could have constructed a better response, the worlds stumbled out.
“No,” his face scrunched up, “I didn’t steal anything. You left them for me. You left them out so that I would know. It’s okay. I get it now.” He stepped closer to the young lady, but for every step he took forward, she took one back.
“I tried to get your attention before but it didn’t seem to be getting through. I thought certainly this latest attempt would get to you but that didn’t seem to do the trick.” With her back against the vanity table, she had very few places that she could go. Not even the door to the room was close enough that she could close the distance in time.
“You- you’re the one committing those murders? Why? I have never and will never want that for anyone to do on my behalf.” Her voice was raising in panic.
“But you would have never noticed me, or acknowledged our connection otherwise.” With no where to turn, she just had to accept him getting closer. Unlike with Sean, his touch made her cringe and turn away. This angered the man, which is when he grabbed her arms roughly and shook her.
“Why do you continue to deny me? I love you! I did this for you! And you act like you never tempted me, never showed me you loved me!” He screamed and yelled at her. Her cringing infuriated him further.
“You’re lucky we can’t do this yet. The moon will be full tonight, and then we can be together forever.” She could feel her heart beat out of her chest, and the fear freeze her blood. What he did not know, was that there was a phone on in her pocket. The volume was kept low so as to not alert him, but that was all she needed. She just needed someone to hear what she was hearing.
~
Sitting at his desk, with his head bowed over paper work, Sean tried to keep his mind on the cases that he had. All the press that these drownings were getting, and the media feeling to name him “The Willamette Crystal Drowner” did not help either. Hearing the shrill ring of his phone, he answered it when he saw her name pop up. He did not even know when she put her name in his phone, probably when he was getting ready for the day, but he was glad she did.
“Bonjour, Mon siréne. How are you?” Yet, there was no answer. The sound of rustling was all that greeted him.
“Siréne? Are you there?” He called yet again but no response. Sean was about to hang up and chalk it up to an accidental dial when he heard it.
“Oh, thank you for the gifts. I greatly appreciate it.” A man’s voice was heard faintly on the other end of the line.
“Darling?” But his call went unanswered.
“You stole my crystals?” Renard felt his breath speed up, but tried to calm himself down.
The more he listened, the angrier Sean got. Hearing the fear in his lover’s voice sent him into a fury that was kept underneath his calm and collected exterior. Picking up the landline in his office, he phoned the technical department.
“I need a location on a number, and I need it now.” He stated, in no mood to play any sort of games. Rattling off the number that the woman was calling him from, Sean felt the anxiety flow through him as he had to wait.
“It’s at a club on the corner of fifth and second, sir.” Mumbling a quick thank you, Renard hung up on the landline and grabbed his coat from his seat. Keeping the phone pressed to his ear, he tried to listen and make sure that she was okay.
“You’ve were hanging around that police captain last night and today. Why?” The masculine voice questioned. Storming out of the office, he barely caught that Nick and Hank were saying something to him before he left.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She whimpered. Sean heard her throat tightening and hoped that he was not going to be too late.
“Yes! Yes, you do.” The man shouted. There was a clash of something being disturbed, and she let out a yelp.
“No matter. I’ll just make sure that he won’t bother us again.” Renard’s phone was pressed so hard into his cheek that he was afraid he was going to break it.
“Please, please don’t hurt him. Please don’t hurt him.” Her begs made the man that was with her chuckle.
“Oh, don’t worry. I’m not stupid enough to take out a police captain. However, I will guarantee that he won’t have you.” A sharp yell from her was broken by a thud, and then, silence. It was too quiet. Sean screamed her name, but received no reply. Footsteps got closer to the phone, some more rustling, and he heard his voice clearly.
“If you know what is good for her, you won’t contact her again captain Renard.”
The line went dead.
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i always felt like smth was different about myself and my sister knew too cause when I was a teen, she told me that it’s okay to to be like my friends and that I could be asexual. i was afraid of being anything other than what others expected everyone to be that I hid. believed my friends when they accused me of lying, so I was like oh maybe I haven’t found the right person. But as time went on, and my crushes weren’t crushes. Just me wanting to friends with them, i didn’t picture anything else but friendship. and I realize this bc i was asked by my college roommates if I could be bi bc i was being really nice, and giving my other roommates attention bc i thought she was really cool and being her friend was smth I wanted. And I remember getting offended bc i thought it was normal to find people cool and want to be close with them. And what I didn’t realize is I did exactly that with boys i met that I thought were cute. But thing is, thinking a boy was cute for me didn’t mean I wanted to be with them, or anything. It’s like they were just nice looking. but I didn’t understand then. and my feelings would often fade when I told them how I felt each time. I felt it was weird but yeah. And now that I know I’m aroace, and as I am now I’ve done quite a lot of research on the lgbtqia community, it’s like it makes a lot more sense. And why my crushes weren’t really crushes. i remember just wanting to be friends with them and when I talked with a friend I would tell her, i didn’t picture myself with them like that just found them cool, like my roommate. now the reason I’m bringing this all up is, everytime I see a anon ask and they talk about their experience on here or when you post and I relate to it, i feel like this is me. i always felt behind with my friends, and never understood why bfs and gfs were so important, but I was so in denial of myself that I felt the need to get a bf myself which I never did cause I would always find a reason not to, it’s like I would always choose people who I knew wouldn’t like me back like that. i wish I could go back and hug my younger self and tell her that she doesn’t have to be like everyone, that she doesn’t have to want those things either. not to force conformity on myself. i dealt with a lot of internalized homophobia but I was never homophobic to anyone. I realize later that even if I am aroace, that if I were to be in a relationship or queer platonic one, it didn’t matter who it was. so for awhile I was like maybe I should find a label, but after I realized that the umbrella term queer can represent me as I know how I feel, and no one else needs to understand but me. i do feel like bi-oriented aroace suits me but bc rn i have no interest in relationships at all, it makes me question all over again. almost like I’m loveless? Idk. I’m sorry i just felt like people would understand? Or that you would understand… that’s why I wrote here. I hope you have a good day!
Hi! I'm glad you've come far in your journey of self acceptance and that the things you see on my blog resonate with you! And yeah, sometimes it's difficult to understand the specifics of one's own orientation, but at the end of the day, labelling everything isn't mandatory. Plus you never really stop growing or learning about yourself which is all part of the queer experience. All that matters is that you're comfortable in your own skin and accept yourself as you are
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My New Who watchthrough has now reached well into the second half of Series 7, and it’s time for some Opinions:
- I’m gay for Clara Oswald already. Also I crackship her with Amy Pond and I will be reading all the fanfic.
- I don’t care for River Song.
- Okay, no, hear me out, River’s an interesting character and I like Alex Kingston, but I can’t stand how her entire character bit is a constant smug-ass “I know something you don’t know”, and her whole arc felt kind of anticlimactic. Also, I don’t buy for a second that she and Eleven have an actual romantic relationship. I don’t see the spark. It’s all offscreen if it happens at all, so I don’t care. Bringing me to…
- Eleven/Amy/Rory OT3 is the superior ship of the Smith years. Platonic found family or romantic messy awkward polyamory, either way they’re very sweet together and I’d rather watch them than River any day. You can also have asexual Eleven in there, which I can really see why people headcanon. I want to call them “ot3: the power of three” but I feel like the threes sound redundant. Oh whatever, I’m calling it, that’s the ship tag I’m using.
- If it wasn’t for the weird Doctor/River romance, you could totally say that River’s Time Lord DNA makes Amy, Rory, and Eleven ALL her parents, and I’m annoyed that canon makes it more than a little weird to consider that headcanon concept, because it could be cute in another world.
- I like the Ponds a lot, but I have to say: Amy and Rory’s ending felt like such an arbitrary “we’re obligated to make the separation from the Doctor permanent, what monster can we use to do that?” ass-pull of a writing choice. In my head, Amy and Rory’s arc ends with them staying on Earth in 2012 at the end of The Power of Three and enjoying the mundane life they built together. Just say the Doctor sends them postcards and visits offscreen once in a while. The characters don’t have to be walled off from the Doctor forever just because the actors never want to come back to the show. I really like the idea of them choosing their own life outside the TARDIS, almost Martha-style. (Gotta love Martha!)
- It feels cheap to take Amy’s kid away and then not bother to give her an emotional arc dealing with that trauma. Same for Rory, for that matter. I bet someone could write or has written some extremely deep fanfic about that. I don’t know that I want to read it but I want it to exist, if that makes sense. And I would’ve liked to see more of it onscreen.
- The episode with the Gunslinger is OOC garbage, the Doctor would never use a gun, learn the show’s lore, Steve.
- So many little “what straight white man did this???” moments in Moffat era. It’s like going on a nice walk and then every once in a while you find yourself walking through a surprise cloud of gnats. (Not that Davies era was completely blameless either but damn.)
- Eleven’s “retirement” and hopeless disillusionment in The Snowmen feels like a flat, rushed, emotionless retread of the far superior arc of Ten going dark and mad with grief and his god complex across his last four specials. Ten did it better.
- Speaking of which, godDAMN the Tenth Doctor’s send off was good. I miss him forever and I need all his audio dramas and tie-in novels yesterday.
- While we’re on that, I have FEELINGS about Tenrose and Tentoorose and how they’re the same exact ship but also two completely different ships, but I’m still tagging them both as “otp: I believe in her” and no one can stop me. (They could have had a house with a mortgage AND still traveled in the TARDIS on weekends, I’m just saying.) (They are PEAK ROMANCE and I’m never recovering.)
- Lotta concrit here but that being said, I really do love Eleven, he’s a sweet adorable lil bean. I’m gonna miss him so much too. Can’t believe I only have a handful of his episodes left! There’s so much good stuff in here, truly. Vincent and the Doctor! The Power of Three! 🥹 I also really liked Dinosaurs on a Spaceship, even though the longer you look at it, the more Problems you see. Those are my standouts off the top of my head.
- We are now well into the era of New Who I’ve never seen any of and know basically nothing about, so no spoilers please!
- I’ve also never seen any of Classic Who, so be aware of that. There’s a lot I don’t know.
- (I already do kind of pre-ship Twelve and River in a totally superficial way, just because, to quote Bones, “they are the exact same level of hotness.” I just think they’d look good together, and sometimes I’m basic like that. I know she has an episode with him, that’s the only thing I know about that era, so we’ll see.)
I’m all-in on this fandom now, for real. And I still have so much to catch up on! So, is it too much of a line to say Allons-y? (I still like it a little better than Geronimo!) 🤗🪐👽
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Redacted ASMR but each boi is assigned one (1) Cool Rock (or Crystal)
brought to you by someone who really likes rocks
also there’s some pictures :) because who doesn’t like looking at cool rocks (and crystals). but because of the picture limit on posts, I’m gonna have to break this up between storylines lol
Part One: The D.A.M.N Group!
I’m a rockhound but I’m also pagan and that means we gotta dive into the metaphysical stuff a little bit, even though I don’t really believe in the whole healing crystal thing. I’m gonna use the term symbolism instead because I think that’s just easier—
Since I’m steering this ship we’re gonna start it off with my most favorite boy ever
Huxley:
Petrified wood! This probably doesn’t surprise any of you. Listen, from a logical standpoint, it just makes sense. It’s a rock. That used to be a tree. Like, c’mon.
Also, petrified wood is cool as hell?? Like it’s fuckin’ awesome I love geology I love science I love that something that was alive once can become something entirely new and eternal and beautiful.
Petrified wood also symbolizes security. It’s grounding. And calm. Huxley is all of those. No, I’m not playing favorites with my comfort character, what do you mean?
(here’s a really cool picture from the Petrified Wood Forest in Arizona, a place I really want to see someday)
Damien:
Fire agate! Is this another obvious one? Maybe. I looked at a few other options before finding this one and then I saw fire agate and I said “YES this is it.”
This stone symbolizes integrity, having high moral standards, and making clear life decisions. Hence my reason for choosing this stone.
People used to believe it held actual fire element, and when you look at it, you can see why.
Lasko:
One of my personal favorites—Lasko gets labradorite! I actually kinda had a difficult time finding one for him. He deserves labradorite though, it’s gorgeous and I love it so much. I like to look at my pieces a lot lol.
Labradorite symbolizes transformation. Which makes sense, when you hold it in your hand and look at it, and turn it a little to see the colors flash. (Seriously, if you don’t have any in your collection, or if you don’t even collect, this is one that’s just really cool to have.)
I think that out of all of the D.A.M.N squad, Lasko’s probably one of the ones who has transformed and grown the most. As someone who’s struggled with anxiety all their life, especially social anxiety, I love seeing him become more confident in himself and how he interacts with his little found family. I’m very proud of him, I love him a lot.
Labradorite is also said to “assuage doubt and fear.”
Gavin:
Lapis lazuli is Gavin’s stone. Gavin is one of my favorites, even though I don’t talk about him much. His character is just so interesting. I love listening to all of his videos and getting to see how he learns to become his own person. It’s amazing.
Hence, lapis lazuli. This stone has a lot of symbolism for self-awareness. And self-expression. And self-love. It’s all about discovering your “true self” and that’s really the thing I love most about Gavin and his story so far.
Lapis lazuli is also a “communication stone.” It supposedly helps with relationships, and finding harmony between you and yourself, or you and others. And I love the relationships Gavin’s built with the D.A.M.N group.
Caelum:
Last but most definitely not least, everyone’s favorite little empathy daemon gets rhodochrosite! Caelum is always associated with the color pink in my head (probably because of the color of his icon, and also he’s sweet, like cotton candy). Rhodochrosite is a very, very pink stone.
This stone symbolizes emotional healing. And also love! Especially platonic love, which is an extremely important one that’s often forgotten about.
Rhodochrosite is bright, and happy, and supposedly encourages “childlike joy and happiness.”
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Hello! Do you have any advice regarding finding a character’s arc? I’m able to write character arcs well enough, which is the part most advice focuses on, but I have trouble knowing what the arc itself should *be*
Figuring Out a Character Arc
A character's arc can be whatever you want it to be, but typically it's going to tie in with the themes you want to explore in your story, as well as any message/s you want the reader to take away from the story.
For example, let's say you're writing a story about two sisters who grew apart long ago, finding each other again later in life, but although they repair their relationship, they realize their bond with one another will never be as strong as the bonds they've formed with found family. Some of the themes you might explore in a story like this would be family struggles, found family, platonic love, how we change over the years, forgiveness, and sibling bonds. The message of a story like this could be something like "the family we choose is sometimes more important than the family we're born with."
So, you would want to choose character arcs (for the two sister characters) that compliment and support the exploration of these themes and delivery of that message.
Remember, character arcs are driven by internal conflict. What is the lie this character believes that's keeping them from the thing they really need in life? What emotional wound (in the past) led them to believe this lie? What wrong thing to they pursue thinking it will make everything better? What actual thing do they need to heal and come full circle? (This is tied into realizing the truth of the lie they believe...)
A great place to start with the example story would be looking at what drove these two sisters apart in the first place. Since this incident happened in the back story, could it be the emotional wound moment for one sister or both sisters?
For example, maybe they both had a crush on the same person, but Sister A didn't tell Sister B that it was more than a crush for them... they were genuinely interested in the person and were hoping to get to know them better. But Sister B, not knowing this, had a one-night fling with this person, which devastated Sister A when she found out. Sister A felt that sister B betrayed her (even though in all fairness, B didn't realize how serious A's crush was), and Sister B felt betrayed that Sister A wasn't honest about the depth of her feelings for the crush. For two sisters who never had a secret between them, this felt like a betrayal, too. So, they were driven apart by both feeling the other betrayed them.
Or, maybe Sister A already had an emotional wound from earlier in the back story, and that emotional wound/resulting behavior led to the fight that drove them apart. So, for Sister B, that fight was the emotional wound and led to the lie she believes.
Or... maybe both sisters had emotional wounds from earlier events in the back stories, or even a shared event, and their emotional wound/resulting behavior led to the fight that drove them apart.
It really just depends on the story. In any case, the arc for both characters ties into the themes you want to explore and the message (if any) you want to deliver.
I hope that makes more sense! :)
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୨ guidelines ୧
this is mainly a nsfw blog. which means only seventeen and older readers are allowed to interact. even my sfw works.
just a reminder. i can not control what you do with your time and i’m not responsible if you choose to still interact.
i am willing to write sfw topics as well. any nsfw content that i do will always have the characters and readers at least seventeen or older.
the minimum age a character has to be for me to write romantic sfw topics about them is thirteen. i write both romantic and platonic relationships.
this is strictly a blog that posts about ‘x reader’ fanfiction. i only depict ‘character x reader’ relationships.
i am not a shipping blog, i am a self-shipping blog. if that’s not what you’re looking for, you are welcome to leave.
i post a lot of shifting content and if you don’t like it, you are also welcome to leave.
if you go out of your way to leave hate comments/threats, you will be blocked no matter who you are.
just be a decent human being please.
if not specified, readers will stay gender-neutral. i don’t write for male readers [sfw or nsfw].
if i am unfamiliar with the topic, prompt or whatever else may be in the request, believe when i say i would do it but i do not want to write aout something which i may not be accurate about but i will try to do research.
i write for most types of genres, such as; fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, dark topics, smut, songfics, yandere [not with real people], etc.
do not request the following; non-consensual or dubious consensual, paedophilia, twincest, incest, abo dynamics, ‘character x character’ ships, male readers.
i am not the blog to look at if you are interested in reading these things. if you are unsure if something you’re thinking about requesting but not sure if they align with my rules, just send me an ask and i’ll tell you.
give details in your request. i am begging you. it’s very hard to get inspired if i just see an ask/request like ‘[character] x reader smut’.
i no longer write ‘[character] x self insert’. I’m sorry for those who have left requests for that or were planning on leaving a request for it, mainly because i find writing very specific scenarios when i’m uninspired to be both difficult and tiring.
i have no problem writing gore [fictional characters] as long as it’s not extremely detailed, so request as you please.
i do not feel comfortable writing for poly relationships as i myself am not in one nor do i feel comfortable writing for pregnancies or the reader already having children either.
i only write afab bodies for nsfw requests even though i myself am intersex. i just feel more comfortable writing for that sex.
i cannot promise that all requests will be written. i only answer requests that give me inspiration or i find joy in writing.
it may take a while for me to write requests so give me time and don’t rush me. i may end up just not doing the request.
i can and will decline writing requests that could possibly make me feel uncomfortable. if you request something that makes me feel uneasy, i will ignore the request or kindly reject it.
thank you so much for reading
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What is your honest opinion about Twilight Princess Zelink? I know that a lot of Zelink shippers don’t like TP Zelink(I don’t know why apart from the fact that they don’t interact much in the game and that they believe that Link and Midna have a stronger relationship together when I just don’t see it whenever I play through Twilight Princess; or they believe that Link and Illia should end up together which I can understand more because they seem like better friends. But then they’ll turn around and ship Spirit Track Zelink which I don’t really see. They feel more like cousins in ST more than every other version of Link and Zelda)
Well, if you want my honest opinion…
Meh. I’m just meh about it 😅🤷🏻♀️ Truly, the main Zelink that I care about is Skyward Sword, so the rest I’m kind of neutral to (OoT I’m kind of actively against but people can have their fun with it too).
That’s the short answer, long answer is under the cut.
In my opinion TP Link and his Zelda didn’t really have much of an opportunity to interact in the game for me to say they made a connection. I think they had two moments, at the beginning when Link’s like “:O She looks so pretty and sad” (I feel compelled to say here that just cause someone finds somebody else pretty doesn’t mean they’re gonna fall in love… I know you know that but the internet in general doesn’t seem to lol) and when they fight against Ganondorf together (which was really cool!). So there’s a possibility something could grow, but I… can’t entirely see it happening.
Link is clearly restless at the end of his adventure, leaving Ordon seemingly without telling everyone, but he doesn’t strike me as the type to linger in the castle all that much, which makes it difficult to get to know Zelda. I think he’s definitely the type to eventually settle down and have a family, just not really with the head of state. I think he respects her and cares for her, doesn’t mean he’s in love with her. 🤷🏻♀️
He definitely has more tender moments with Midna in my opinion (like after Midna tells the story of the Twili people, and she cups his cheek with her hand and asks if he’ll help her - it’s a very raw and vulnerable moment for her, and Link looks very open and soft and willing to help in response - you don’t have to read it as romantic at all, but it’s definitely an intimate moment). I think he has a stronger relationship with her, whether you choose to see it as romantic or platonic. And yeah, I agree he and Ilia could become a thing too.
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It’s Your Turn SNS
It’s been a while since I first talked about making this post and if I’m being honest, it’s because I couldn’t think of what I could say. For a while, I thought I was gonna have to throw in the towel and say I only don’t ship SNS because I choose not to ship it. But I also know that I don’t tend to simply “choose” not to ship something, at least not without reason. Especially since I shipped it in the past and had no reason to suddenly stop (it’s not like I stepped away from the series). So, I kept thinking about it until I’ve come to a conclusion:
SNS may not have anything I consider major issues, but it does have a lot of small problems that add up quickly.
Bring in the bullet list.
It’s very clear that they're meant to have a brotherly bond. I know this is beating a dead horse so I’ll keep this quick. They argue and compete like siblings, Naruto refers to Sasuke as his brother like he refers to Iruka like a father, they are reincarnations of brothers, and they are literally based on siblings. Reader interpretation is more important than authorial intent, but this is rather big elephant in the room for me. Especially since it’s easy to see their relationship as purely familial (easier than seeing it as romantic in many cases).
They have vastly different perspectives. Yes, the story is about them finding understanding, but that also means that most of their interactions show off all the ways they don’t understand each other. They may have both been lonely growing up, but they were lonely in very different ways. Naruto never had a family and was ostracized for no reason, Sasuke watched everything get taken away from him and self isolated. Sasuke had a point during VotE1 and the Pain arc doesn’t nullify their differences. Of course you can get with someone without having identical childhoods, I’m just bringing this up because it’s relevant to them having clashing views of the world. They both want to do good, but they believe in different ways of going about it. It’s not just that they look at the world differently, it’s that they’ve come to different conclusions about how the world works. While this can be a positive, it more often than not causes fights between them in canon and I don’t have enough evidence to believe it wouldn’t cause just as many fights in fanon.
Their fandom can be so annoying. This isn’t actually a point against the ship itself and it’s not fair to hold the fandom against it. But I'm only human and this happens to play a role. I’ve already talked a little about why I don’t like this particular branch of the fandom and I have too many more reasons to reasonably add here, so I’m gonna end this here.
It perpetuates the idea that male relationships can’t be affectionate. Again, this isn’t the ships fault but it plays a role in my opinion so I’m mentioning it. I promise to keep it brief. There’s this idea, at least in the west, that only relationships between two girls can simultaneously be affectionate and platonic. Any relationship that has a boy involved (boy-girl, boy-boy) can’t be because people insist that there has to be some romantic/sexual edge. Insisting that Naruto and Sasuke’s relationship has to be romantic/sexual just adds to this.
They share almost no meaningful conversation. I am a crackshipper so canon isn’t everything to me, but it’s not like I’m burning canon either. I still use it as a reference for characterization and dynamics between characters. Canon makes me question how good of friends these two are and tells me that they can’t work through conflict without throwing hands. They have two canonical, meaningful conversations and they only had one of them because they were too tired to start fighting again. This also isn’t because they as characters struggle to be civil. Naruto and Sasuke have plenty of nonviolent interactions with members of Konoha (+sand siblings) and team Taka respectively. Their relationship is more based on actions than words (which is fine), but can’t they at least share some more words? At times it gives off the impression that they don’t like talking to each other. This is in part due to the genre and Kishimoto skipping over team 7 bonding so I can let this slide, but I’m not gonna forget this.
Their dynamic is more symbolism than substance. This is an add on to my last point, but it’s different enough to separate. When you pull back and ask “what is the relationship between Naruto and Sasuke?”, there’s a slight trend in their relationship having more thematic and symbolic importance than character to character importance. Now, I’m not gonna pretend I don’t like when ships have a lot of symbolic meaning behind them, but I see that symbolism more like sprinkles. Sprinkles are nice to have on the cake and they certainly make it easier to sell the cake, but they aren’t a replacement for the cake. Sometimes when I’ve had a bad day I’ll take a handful of sprinkles, but I prefer a more cake to sprinkle ratio any other time. Granted, this might be due to me not having watched/read Naruto in a while, so maybe I’m forgetting some interactions or some details from certain interactions.
Naruto didn’t actually “save” Sasuke. I’m gonna say something controversial: Naruto and Sakura didn’t save Sasuke, he saved himself. Naruto and Sakura first set off to save Sasuke from Orochimaru, but he left Orochimaru himself. Then they wanted to help him against Itachi (their intentions were actually a little unclear), but Sasuke took out Itachi alone (with a little help from team hebi). Then Sakura went off to kill Sasuke to help Naruto and Naruto wanted to keep the Raikage from having Sasuke killed (though he was more interested in understanding Sasuke at this time), and both failed. Sasuke pulled himself out of his mental crisis and left Obito/Zetsu’s influence, Sasuke took steps to understand his brother, Sasuke asked the Hokage about the village (with the help of taka), Sasuke chose to help the Allies Shinobi Force against Madara/Obito/Kaguya, and Sasuke went on a redemption quest to better understand himself and the world. Naruto wasn’t irrelevant to Sasuke’s journey, but how much did he really help Sasuke? Naruto and Sasuke do influence each other, but it’s almost always passive rather than an active effort to help the other (at least in regards to the times they do have a positive influence on the other).
I’m not certain they could help each other with their problems. Moving outside of canon and into fanon, the question becomes “how could Naruto and Sasuke help each other grow?” The answer is: I’m not sure, actually. According to my interpretations of the characters, these are their greatest remaining flaws as of the end of the narrative: Naruto struggles with prioritizing (this includes prioritizing his perspective over others, the few over the many, and others over himself to the point of detriment) and Sasuke still needs to find a sense of peace. While it’s not impossible that they could help each other, I’m gonna press x to doubt. Sasuke isn’t the best at prioritizing either, but, more importantly, because of his different perspective, his solution would probably involve Naruto changing his values. Naruto doesn’t need his values to change, he needs to figure out what he wants and what’s most important to him. Also, Naruto is a good person to go to to make you question your life, but I don’t think he’d be the best at helping anyone find peace, especially someone as different as Sasuke. Yes, Naruto and Sasuke are capable of improving on their own (if they’re given a push in the right direction because neither are all that introspective), but is it so bad that I’d prefer them being in a relationship that helps them improve if they’re in a relationship at all?
So, yeah.
I’m sure I could come up with an additional point here or there, but those would probably edge even further into personal taste (I say as if this isn’t all according to my interpretation and opinion). In conclusion, the ship is fine, I guess, but it isn’t my cup of tea. It just has too many points going against it for me.
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🍄 if you had to live the rest of your life as either a gnome, a fairy, or another woodland creature which would you choose and where would you live?
🏵️ what flower symbolizes you? if none come to mind, what’s your birth flower and do you identify with its meaning?
🌷 favourite current hobbies or ones you would like to pick up if you could?
🌸 do you believe in any legends or myths? (NOT conspiracy theories)
🌴 describe your dream holiday?
🌹 what do you look for in others when establishing a connection? (platonically and/or romantically)
🥀 what keeps you motivated/helps boost your mood when you’re feeling off?
(I know TOO many questions, but —)
🍄: Wood nymph/Dryad: I’d just hang out around my tree and talk with Artemis. Sounds like a good life.
🏵️: I think irises, I think they signify resilience. As to what I associate to myself I would say lavender as well, but maybe I’m not really understanding what it’s asking me- mainly it’s because the smell of lavender is very nostalgic to me. My birth flower is water lilies (they apparently mean birth, resurrection and enlightenment). Maybe a little with resurrection but not too much
🌷: right now it’s drawing and writing, but I have tried everything under the sun (ADHD lol). If I could I’d pick up candle making I think
🌸: nope, I’m a very cynical person. I do think myths were used to describe real life scenarios and I find them extremely interesting, but as fantasy
🌴: anything to do with nature/animals. So something like Iceland, going for a safari, visiting Japan’s countryside etc.
🌹: Romantic: compassion; platonic: also compassion, open-mindedness
Those three mainly, below those sense of humour, emotional intelligence, resilience, something that I admire basically
🥀: my life ambitions keep me motivated, when I need a mood boost I tend to hang out with my cat with whom I have a co-dependent relationship 🥰
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I like your POV of love and partnership.
Let me fire some ❣️ questions at you
First thing you notice in someone ?
2. What makes you fall in love with someone ?
3. What do you think is the key to continue loving someone ?
4. Do you believe in fate relationship ?
5. What's your opinion about people move on quickly to a new relationship after a long term relationship ?
6. Do you think people can find there way back into eachother after a relationship ended ?
1. Hard to say because I generally notice the thing that stands out about anybody, as in “oh that’s a fun outfit”, “they have big ears (good fortune in Eastern divination)”, “their face shape is Martian”, “they have beady demon eyes so they must be nodal lol” etc.
I’m always subconsciously studying people. /shrug
In a platonic or even romantic sense (which is probably what you’re asking about), I either notice someone or I don’t. It’s a kind of sixth sense for me because I already know on some level that I will be compatible with this person. Anyone I’ve ever met, I’ve known what kind of role they’ll play in my life, if any; whether it’s long or short term, if there is direction to it or none at all.
It’s quite instinctual, and I don’t exactly isolate parts of their face like in the paragraph before. I’m just engulfed.
2. I think falling in love is a process - it’s the chemical reaction you feel when you meet them (attraction), the mutual, unspoken ease and understanding whilst still getting to know your similarities and differences. It’s a natural compatibility, but also a choice you enter with this person. There’s an element to it that can’t be helped; it hits you out of nowhere, like a freight train, a school bus..a zamboni…
It’s..an inconvenience, yet simultaneously, an accidental curly fry in a basket of chips.
3. I think compatibility is underestimated. To me, it’s the WD-40 of the progression of relationships—like butter between a hot skillet and an egg. All the efforts of communicating and being proactive in your relationship will be a waste if the egg sticks to the pan.
I think the key to continue loving someone is an equation - it’s compatibility, it’s choice/effort/communication, and the rest is up to luck (fate)
4. Absolutely. Every relationship is fated in its own way imo.
5. Generally, I say that as long as you’re not hurting anybody, it’s fine, but is that reasonable? Because no matter how amicable, someone’s always bound to be hurt. Whether they called it, or you did, it ends. And endings can hurt no matter how prepared you thought you were. Simultaneously, I don’t care how other people choose to move on. People will do what they believe is necessary to survive. My opinion is that people don’t get to feel validated about their opinions if it was never their business.
6. They can, but they both must want to. But sometimes you outgrow people and it just can’t be helped despite your efforts (fate). You also have to consider carefully that in serious relationships, you broke up for a very good reason. Can you accept that you’ve both changed inevitably (#Landslide2004FleetwoodMac)? Is the reason still a reason? Would you rather die than be without them, or can you survive?
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I happened to save two Tweets that I found to be poignant for the last chapter. First of all, Darby told someone he was working on ACV year 2 on December 30th 2021. Almost a YEAR ago. I don’t think he has worked on anything ACV related in year 2 except the last chapter. So this means storyboarding at the very least has been at least a year in advance. I’m willing to bet it’s been since the summer or fall of 2021 when Darby first announced he was coming back to Ubisoft. I also think this is promising for the quality of the last chapter. It clearly was not rushed as a project at all. And it may be a lot meatier than we anticipate.
Now, read the above Tweet. This was all the way back in 2020!! I have based a LOT of my predictions about ACV around the idea that there are canonical nodes and no matter what you chose as an RPG, you will still get a very specific ending with slight variations. And with that said, I believe we will see Eivor take Sigurd back to Norway to say their final goodbye before she leaves for Vinland permanently. I also think Randvi is central to Eivor’s life and, romance or not, she will play a key role in her departure as well as her ending.
I think we saw very clear “nodes” play out in game. She can choose to be like her past self or not, but her fate will be the same — though her legacy will slightly or even majorly differ.
I can’t find my other Tweet where Darby actually confirmed to me that Randvi and Eivor are “headcanon” for him which IMO means it’s a node. Their relationship, platonic or romance, is a node, but the canonical intent is it’s a romance. But I really do believe he will have that in mind for her ending.
Only thing I can’t seem to pin down is why she chooses to leave, and how people will take it at the settlement, and if anyone will be with her in Vinland. But that is what makes this last chapter so exciting (and nerve wracking!!)…. Lots of loose ends they will be tying up and I can’t predict most of them!
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hi. So I have nearly 90 drafts that have piled up over the course of about 3 or 4 months, so I guess I’ll start posting them now 😭 I haven’t really read over this or checked it and I think I wrote it at 4am, so I’m sorry if it loses any coherency
(Headcanon?? or im just down bad) but like, joel’s “if somehow the Lord gave me a second chance at that moment, I would do it all over again” being the way he tells ellie he loves her is so incredibly profound to me. Love (WE’RE TALKING PLATONIC) isn’t a feeling. People act like it is, which is why so many people fall out of it. Love is commitment, serving, and choosing them every single day. It’s in your actions. Their entire story shows this. Even in the little things, like joel teaching her how to play guitar. But even in the greater things. Ellie keeping him alive all throughout winter. Sure, she needed him to get to the fireflies, but I think winter goes deeper than that. This is post-ranch argument. The ranch argument (and joel taking her back while they’re sitting above Jackson) and joel finding her with David are *their* moments. The moments when we see, okay, they are stuck together now. Even once they reach the fireflies, that’s not the end like we thought it would be a few hours ago. They’re going to stay together. Joel saying “I’m never gonna leave you again” to her in that silent moment immediately after he finds her after David is such a….I can’t think of the word oh my sjdhdjd but like their relationship is kind of solidified(?). Like their solidifying moment of “we’re with each other now”. And I think winter shows Ellie’s deep, profound love for Joel. Giving him literally all the warmth and as much as comfort as they could have (yes he was dying obviously just shhhh), probably nearly starving herself to make sure he got the majority of food and water she was able to get. She did that for weeks while he was knocking on deaths door. And joel, while she was just a job at the beginning, has still protected her from day one. And obviously his big moment of action that showed his love (no matter what way you view the end of the first game), was him saving her from the fireflies. He could not bear to lose another daughter, so he killed doctors and soldiers and everyone in his way to save her life. NOW to tie back to my first sentence in this whole spiel. I do believe they’ve both loved each other for years now, and I think it was always an understood thing between them. Joel’s love definitely never faltered through those last two years, though I’m sure you could argue Ellie’s did. Or didn’t, I don’t know. But it wasn’t something they ever said to each other. At the time of their porch conversation, tensions are very high. Ellie is still upset from the dance with Joel’s intervention, and she’s still giving him the cold shoulder bc of his lie. I think a lot of things go through his head when she says “I should’ve died in that hospital. My life would’ve fcking mattered. But you took that from me”. I think one thing is, and something I probably would not have controlled, is her saying her life would’ve mattered if she died for the cure. If I were joel I would’ve spewed about how she does matter and blah blah blah sappy stuff ynow. But he’s walking on thin ice here. He knows she feels betrayed. He knows they’re not how they used to be. He knows he can’t just say anything because he may upset her more, and that’s at the top of his list of thing he does not want to do. And so he waits a minute and tries to collect his thoughts and what he wants to tell her. He thinks of something that, while it combats everything she just said to him, also holds a lot of weight of their relationship and why he did what he did. I genuinely think that him saying this is just “I love you” in its purest, most raw, emotional, profound (I’ve said this like 7 times im sorry it just f i t s) form. If he said “I love you too much to let you die”, that would’ve scared her off. But he gave her something that she needed to hear and to start to understand why he did it and how he STILL feels, even after everything. And sometimes I wonder if the “I would do it all over again” refers to just the hospital, or their entire journey as a whole. Either way, I think it still tells her enough.
-And so she tells him she doesn’t think she’ll be able to forgive him and it BREAKS him. The thought of losing her, or not so much losing her, but never getting their relationship back to birthday level camping trip highs, kills him. His breath is shaky immediately. But then she tells him, maybe she could forgive him. But not that she could, but that she’d LIKE to try. She WANTS to get back to that birthday level camping trip high of the relationship they used to have. As hurt as she is, she misses it. He’s (I believe, personally) the most important person in her life, even if at this point. She wants to get back there as much as he does. And he starts to break more. Because now, there’s a chance, though incredibly small, that he COULD get her back. And that is more than enough. It could take years, but he’s happy with it. He’s thrilled to know that, even after everything, she is willing to try. Can you imagine early tlou2 if it were different and we got to see a cutscene of Ellie asking joel if he wanted to watch Curtis and Viper 2 that night? The smile that would’ve come to his face?
ALSO I FORGOT TO GO WITH THE LAST CHUNK OF TEXT.., him singing future days to her I think is also such a big profession of love. They’ve been in Jackson a few months and they’re living a “normal” lil family father-daughter life now. Not out every day fighting for their life. They get to settle down. And obviously his attachment to ellie has been going on for a while, but them being like,, they’re glued together now. They’re WITH each other. Joel’s adopted her ok ive talked to Neil druckmann myself I know things. But joel signing this to her is just so incredibly special. He loves her so much. I literally sat in my bed last night and was full on sobbing bc the degree that his love goes for her is beyond my comprehension. Every time I think about I CANNOT wrap my head around it. It’s so insane to me. But he loves her so incredibly much. He got a second chance at fatherhood and refuses to lose ellie, under any circumstance as we’ve seen, even if the rest of the human race was on the line, he can’t lose her. Now obviously as I mentioned above, we never hear the “i love you” sentiment actually said between either of them, but we see it in their actions. All their actions throughout the games, even the little things. And I think what joel says on the porch is as much of an i love you as you can get, i think I’m singing to her is just as much as well. He could’ve sung ANY song he knew on guitar, but no he picked future days to show her how much he loves her. “If i ever were to lose you, I’d surely lose myself. I believe, cause I can see, our future days, days of you and me” (yes I cut some lines out) BUT LIKE???? GDKDHDK but not even just talking about the lyrics or the fact that they show exactly what joel is trying to say, it’s also that this is the song joel uses to introduce ellie to guitar. To introduce her to something he 1) promised he’d teach her and 2) it’s something he LOVES. it’s just so,?:?!&,)?:,;@($ i love their love I love their story I love the little things I love overthinking about them
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That will be the downfall to Toni and Fangs relationship. The point of not being on the same page. Once Toni finds out what Fangs have done it will put a divide between them. Which I think will lead to how they devide the town in the good vs evil storyline.
Hi there—I’m assuming your ask refers to my live-watching post about Kevin's call to Fangs about discussing custody between the three of them. However, instead of saying something like he’d need to run the offer by Toni first, Fangs simply declines and promises to see Kevin in court.
I think you’re right that Fangs’ decision will cause (or exacerbate existing) problems for T*ngs. I’d also argue that the divide has been growing since at least the initial post-Rivervale episodes.
At different points this season, Fangs has failed to consult Toni on matters affecting not only the couple, but also their child. For example, he doesn’t inform her of the Serpents’ plans to fight the Ghoulies. Instead, he lets her believe that he supports her efforts to prevent a gang war, while he’s actually helping to derail these efforts behind her back. Most egregiously, this leads to Fangs storing illegal guns in their home without Toni’s knowledge (I’m sure this was done for narrative purposes, but you’d think a gang leader would delegate gun storage duties to an underling). This decision makes T*ngs an easy target for Pickens and his goons, threatening their ability to retain custody of their child.
I think this incident is where we see the first major cracks forming between T*ngs. Although Toni apparently forgives Fangs and welcomes him back into their home, he doesn’t seem particularly grateful for his second chance, or all that remorseful for getting them into this situation. Upon his release from jail, he even scolds Toni for dancing at the Wyrm, fretting over how her actions may potentially impact their custody battle.
I’m not sure how the divide between “good and evil” will play out in terms of which side each character eventually aligns. But I imagine Percival, like any good villain, is working to identify and exploit weaknesses in various relationships—romantic, platonic, familial, etc. But these weak points were already present—whether quite obviously or simmering beneath the surface—and all he's really doing is applying pressure in the hopes that these cracks become deeper and wider and eventually shatter.
In terms of T*ngs’ relationship, I think Toni could eventually conclude that the current facets of her life (e.g. mother and guidance counselor vs. gang leader) are no longer compatible, and choose her child’s well-being over the Serpents and her boyfriend. Of course, the story could go in a completely different direction. But in any case, I think T*ngs is on borrowed time.
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