#and i am in so much pain

[levi-dayne]

if my body decides at any point that it wants to work the way it was designed to that would be totally fine by me

#personal posts 😌✨️✨️ #im so fucking tired of this fr #i think im mainly pissed about it because of how overstimulated i am but like this is not helping anything #chronic pain PLUS a tic attack PLUS a muscle spasm PLUS having a low social battery/overstimulated all at once #i am not vibing rn and i am kind of pissed at my body #i cant even mask rn my voice is monotone and dead and i just cannot #i stg my customer service voice is so high pitched and expressive and i dont even know what im expressing im just copying people #and i accidentally told a customer that i made a script to follow for my customer interactions and it was awkward #and i am in so much pain #i have to get my blood drawn on friday so they can check it and see if theres any indicators there #as to whats going on and if not i have to schedule another appointment

[foxglovefaun]

Modifying shitpost style memes to suit my comic canon for background enrichment lore is my new favorite thing

#laughter is the best medicine #and I am in so much pain #shitpost #OC shitpost

[composeregg]

Pro tip:

Don't fall out of chairs

#egg speaks #it has been 37 hrs since the incident #and i am in so much pain #i broke my phone screen landing on my side

[blaiddydbrokeit]

I really don't like it when people tell me "have you considered just finding a job to earn money like the rest of us?" when I mention that I tend to struggle with income, especially when it comes to having stable income.

Here's a bit of insight: I have chronic fatigue syndrome. Severe enough that working consecutive days is impossible for me. I have a job that is only one day every other month or so, involving technical servicing, that I have to brace myself for, and spend days after completely incapable of basic things like sitting upright. I have worked retail, I have worked FnB, and I have passed out on the clock several times, only to be fired for that even on part time employment.

It is BEYOND imperative for me to be able to self-employ to some extent, whether through creative endeavors or other means, in order for me to have a sustainable work-life balance. In a country where most people don't move out of their parents' homes until their mid to late 30s working long hours to save up for their own place with their partners, it's even more vital for me to be able to generate some level of income and move out as soon as I can, even with friends, because I come from an abusive (read: neglectful) household that has only worsened my condition.

So if I state that I am working towards a certain thing like a console for streaming, I am not saying that I am begging for commissions to fund something frivolous when there are people out there who are pleading the same audience to afford medical treatments and the such. I am saying that I need to branch out my avenues for building income channels that provide a fighting chance for better days, and those options come with requisite investments I need to cough up before that. I am not asking to be handed money. I am asking that people understand that I don't need to justify my disability to be deserving of livable working rates and opportunities.

#dimi breaks the silence #i had to #i had to prop myself up with several pillow today to even sit upright and all i did yesterday was fix a 3d printer #and i am in so much pain #chronic fatigue syndrome #chronic illness

[peacevine]

You Are Not Immune To fanart of characters who die in canon that has them alive and well, with scars from the wound that originally killed them

#I Am Sobbing So Much. #anyways shoutout to my fellow kny fans who are in so much pain #every time i see [spoilers] with a big vertical scar #i cry so much!!!! so much

[colourmeastonished]

Body swap movie where one of them has invisible disabilities and when the other one lands in their body they immediately collapse catatonic on the floor from the pain and fatigue and the first one is like 'oh damn guess I don't have to worry that I'm faking it anymore'

#i have this fantasy of one my able bodied friends and or coworkers occupying my body for like an hour #just to get a real sense of how much i am truly weathering hellfire every day of my life #sometimes i take stock and im like holy crap ive gotten so used to so much #im a frog in a pot and ive convinced myself the bubbling is just fun ambience #my thoughts #invisible disability #chronic illness #chronic pain

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[stretchedoutonthegrass]

Woke up with a migraine again 🫠

#it is 3:47 am in the morning #and I am in so much pain #I hate this so much #mine #itme

[nobie]

#ineffable idiots

#i am not choosing sides they're both idiots who need to communicate better #and i love them so much #its for the character development ok #good omens #good omens 2 #go2 spoilers #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #aziraphale #crowley #goodomensedit #dailygoodomens #ineffable partners #it was not funny just gotta laugh through the pain #myedits* #10k

[nedlittle]

genuinely i think it's important for adults, especially in the plague times, to play pretend in our day-to-day lives. when i rub my back down with tiger balm so i can sleep without pain, i imagine i am a valiant knight tending to an old injury i received from a dragon. when i go to the store to pick up eggs and milk, i am a lone cowboy riding into town on a mission. when i turn my collar up against the wind i am a femme fatale who's killed 4 husbands and is scoping out a 5th. when i stomp around in the snow i am a doomed polar explorer. if being a little bit silly about my walk to the pharmacy helps me remember that life can be full of joy and whimsy, then so be it.

#this is a pointless text post #my most embarrassing version of this is that whenever it was foggy at the lighthouse i imagined i was emily bronte #or that i was taking a walk in the fog with my good friend emily bronte :^) #so much of this is also tied into the fact that my body hurts all the goddamn time #i am trying to make my pain something i can live with #is this gonna be how i learn that normal people don't daydream about being In The Past #anyway do u guys imagine these sort of scenarios too or am i just a freak #greatest (s)hits

[demon-of-the-ancient-world]

Hate (affectionate) how it's made so clear from the very beginning of part 1 just how loved Paul is by his family and household. Both his parents, Duncan, Gurney, Thufir, even Dr Yueh all clearly care so deeply for this kid, and we're shown that time and time again.

Cut to the end of part two, and almost every one of those people is gone. The only ones who remain are a weird, came-back-wrong version of Jessica, and Gurney who has gone from mentor to worshipper. Paul goes from someone deeply loved and valued for who he is by a small but caring group of people - to someone followed and worshipped and feared by thousands. They're obsessed with him in a way, as a leader and "messiah", but nobody loves him.

The only one remaining who loves him for who he is is Chani, who leaves him because in the end that love isn't enough to bring who he is back.

#dune #dune part 2 #paul atreides #i am losing my MIND #upon rewatching part 1 it struck me just HOW loved paul is. and then you contrast that with his horde of followers in part 2 #none of whom will so much as touch him when he's injured badly enough that he can barely walk #he's not human anymore. he's just an idea. #i am in physical pain #something something it's about parasocial relationships & celebrity culture #like idk if that was frank or denis' intention but. i see a bit of That.

[ghouljams]

König would be so good as a period buddy :(

He's got those huge hands and I bet he just radiates heat, he'd massage your back while you lay on him, he'd press his hand against your stomach to try and soothe the cramps. He'd be so attentive, he was raised by his mutter to be a good boy and this is important good boy activities :( fetching heating pads, candy, easy food when your hormones fuck up your appetite, soup and tea. König would just coo at you each time you whined, he hates seeing you hurting but you're so cute and needy :(

He'd love period sex. You're so squirmy and embarrassed, but you're so hot on his tongue and you make such pretty sounds for him. There's something dark and possessive that growls with pleasure seeing your blood on his cock, feeling you tremble and cry because your hormones are running wild. You're just so cute! You're adorable, he just wants to eat you up. Maybe he will, he's already got you basically confined to bed. Why ever let you anywhere else after this?

#cod x reader #x reader #könig fanfiction #könig x reader #könig cod #könig call of duty #könig mw2 #könig #f!reader #könig x f!reader #afab!reader #tw periods #period sex #i am in so much pain lol #ghoul is very sick rn

[crybaby-bkg]

I think Deku has a bit of a mean streak, actually. he’s no Bakugou—that’s for sure—but he’s not this innocent, sweet angel baby that the media has painted him out to be. but you only catch it when you least expect it, when you’re pushing his nerves, when the stakes to everything around him are high, when he’s tired of endless sleepless nights and just—snaps.

“Oh?” you go, grin unfurling like some grinch, chin resting on your hands as you leer at him from across his expansive desk. “You’re mean.” your words are teasing, a snarl that curls your mouth up. Deku stutters, eyes going wide, jaw snapping shut in surprise as he tries to think back on how rude he just sounded.

“No, I’m not—I mean, you wouldn’t stop and I just—there’s a lot on my plate right now—and you just—you keep on—I’m not—I’m not mean.” He’s sputtering, hands all over the place, the glasses perched on the bridge of his nose falling even lower with how he jabbers on and on. it’s endearing really, to see how he tries to upkeep his image of being so kind and understanding, even though his nostrils just flared at you. and his eyebrows turned down and he gritted at you, his hands were balled into fists, his words were so nasty, so ugly, so unbecoming for Deku.

you liked it. loved it even—vowed to get him like this every single fucking second that you could.

you pick and poke at him whenever you see him, teasing him and pulling at him. pushing him around even though the hero is so much stronger than you, so much bigger. and he lets you, tries to defend himself but—that’s not what you want. you want the ugliness, the snark, the mean.

he snaps, eventually, when you least expect it. grabs you up in black whip when you go to push him against the wall for the third time in only a minute, his eyes suddenly dark, the aura of the room suddenly charged.

“That’s what I was looking for.” you whisper to him, the grin spreading your face quickly dissipating in only seconds when you become the prey. when you become the one pushed up against the wall with teeth at your neck, a hand in your underwear, bullying your hole with too thick fingers.

“Why do you want me to act like this? Be so mean to you, huh?” he sounds so frustrated with himself, with you, growling and nipping and licking when you don’t answer quick enough. but your breath is caught in your lungs because finally—finally, did you get what you wanted. it just took a little bit of pushing, you suppose.

#omg I wrote this idea down last night and couldn’t even type it up #bc I took some sleep meds and it put me out SO FUCKING QUICK???? #usually I don’t lay down until like an hour and a half or two #but it was literally like 40 mins and I was DONE!!!! #but I finally wrote it :D #there’s also been so much talk of him on the dash and i am. very much so liking this #I miss him bc I don’t think about him enough #but I also think he can be. so mean. like NASTY mean when his limits are pushed enough #ohhhh my god I wont him so bad #okay gn I took more meds bc my pelvis has been in so much pain???? #just the right side too??? omg AM I DYING GELP #—new treat in the streets! 🍫 #deku treats! 🍬

[uncanny-tranny]

One of my biggest pieces of advice for those taking injectable hormones is to make sure you're injecting at the right angle

For intramuscular (IM), you inject at a 90° angle.

For subcutaneous (SQ), you inject at a 45° angle.

Here is a graphic depicting what the angle of your injection should look like:

An image description is provided in the ALT text.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #trans advice #just did my IM shot and that's why i'm making this #i've saved myself a LOT of pain once i actually started paying attention to the angle i am injecting at #i was so much more focused on making sure everything else was right and i slacked on being sure i'm injecting at 90° #hopefully the ID makes sense 👍 #i pulled the graphic off the internet which is why dermis is included. afaik dermis isn't a technique used for HRT #needle tw #needles tw #injection tw #described images #image description in alt

[dizzybizz]

"this is regrettably the best kiss of your life, you understand?"

#that “you understand?” kills me everytime... #i love how high condis voice got during this bit its so fkn funny DHASHGFSFGHASFhg #hi yes have the inevitable ep21 crit kiss piece except i watched ep53 today and am so 😀 im so 😀 damn i m so 😀 #i love eps where they just go through so many different gimmick rooms its so fun its so fun when its not so painful 😀 #happy valentines too ig #just roll with it #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #jrwi chip #jay ferin #jrwi fish and chips #my art #i had a bit of a meltdown over gill through uhm... 1-3am today and i just hm #sorry to everyone in the mayors QAC uhm im not really sorry but like sorry if you could hear every msg ping uhm yeah #it was like hours of me sobbing to myself in the interests channel and it was really good for my mental health ngl like its really therapeu #-tic to just scream abt a blorbo all night #and i ended up dreaming abt infodumping to one of my brothers friends of all ppl n i got so intense abt how much i love marshall john n my #brother came into the room and dragged his friend out 😭😭😭 i just wanted to ramble abt the himbo pls..... #my walls of tags are so consistent... only consistent thing abt this fkn blog smh.

[youngchronicpain]

It is okay to need pain medication to function with your chronic pain. It is okay. I promise. I know everywhere you turn pain medication is demonized. I know that it is scary to talk about. It is okay to be grateful that you have access to pain medication. Pain meds have greatly improved my quality of life and I wouldn't be able to live my life outside of my bed without them. And that's okay!!!

#of course i wish i didn't have to take meds to function #but I'm so grateful they exist and I have access to them! #I am able to live much fuller life #they are one of my pain management tools and they have made my life better #chronic pain #of course this is not everyone else's experience #and that is okay too #there is space for both sides of the conversation #I just feel like this side is very often left out #pain medication #meds tw