#and how am i supposed to tell people

[ripbuddydawn]

augh god i think i might be aromantic but for some reason it's literally impossible to figure out

#personal #how do i KNOW #and how am i supposed to tell people

[captainjonnitkessler]

I truly, TRULY do not know how to say this, because the fact that I have to say it makes me feel like I am losing my grip on reality. But no, in the post-capitalistic anarchist utopia, I will not be relying on “autistic minecraft girlies” to be building inspectors because - and this may shock you - one of those occupations takes years of education in how to read and interpret hundreds of thousands of lines of regulations based on complicated math and physics that were the result of decades of tragedy and death, and the other one involves playing a children’s video game.

#i am begging this website. BEGGING it. to stop acting like building codes are state oppression #and please stop reducing blue collar jobs to 'so easy any handyman could do it with a youtube video' #that's how people fucking die #i didn't spend five years learning how to do my job safely to watch people online tell me it could've just been a course in high school #i know that this is like. a minority minority opinion and not really worth getting worked up over #but it's so annoying to see supposed leftists denigrating blue collar jobs like this #same poster also opined that we won't need garbagemen #because 'if the trash is bothering people they'll figure out a way to clean it without having to pick it up' #like what??? does that even fucking mean???? #construction

[clairenatural]

okay but you see sam has ALSO fallen for dean's act. sam also believes dean to be the macho, daddy's soldier, beer boobs cars guy he presents himself as. this is why sam makes fun of dean whenever he even lightly steps out of that mold and thinks it's harmless banter instead of attacking an insecurity. it's why he laughs when john talks down to dean in the early seasons and it's why he seems surprised when dean is more comfortable with himself in the later seasons. it's why he just scoffs but doesn't push it when dean puts up a front and refuses to talk about his emotions and just accepts whatever excuse he makes at face value. it's why he offers dean a strip club to make him feel better when cas dies. and this isn't his fault!! dean has spent a very long time perfecting this image in front of everyone and ESPECIALLY to sam because along with it comes safety and security and stability and the only person. who has consistently been able to see through it. is castiel

#charlie also a bit bc dean doesn't have to be desirable to her as a man or as a son #altho i would argue that she doesn't see through him he just doesn't perform as much for her. cas actively sees through it #this is why sam has never caught on to dean being queer also. btw. dean isn't closeted he's just never made a big deal of telling sam #you never really know your parents just the version of them they want you to see etc etc #anyway this is also why sam is thought to be More Sensitive in comparison #by people who have also fallen for the Act. i call this the General Audience Dean Act #because it was who he was SUPPOSED to be from kripke's pen until jensen went ummmmm no. he has trauma :) and forcibly gave him layers #this is also not samcrit btw i always need to clarify that #i am bad at sam studies but i think you could also write posts (and ppl have) about how dean doesn't truly know sam either #bc he has Little Baby Brother zoned him forever even though he is almost 40 by the end of s15

[wilsonsmcgillsweatshirt]

"Deep inside, Wilson believes that if he cares enough, he'll never have to die."

What the fuck were the House writers on

#how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions #this quote is attempted murder #i cant live like this #This also puts the scene were Wilson tells House he wishes he was more of an asshole into perspective #“i wish i had been more a selfish jerk” “youd still have cancer” “atleast id feel like i deserved it” #because wilson spent his whole life helping people because some part of him genuinely believed that he would live a very long good life #as long as he was doing good and helping people #but in the end none of it mattered and in his mind he wasted his entire life being overly good when he couldve just lived how he wanted #because in the end it didnt make any difference #brb sobbing #thats why when people act like wilson is the devil for saying that to house i lose 5 years of my life #house md #house #greg house #james wilson #gregory house #hilson #hate crimes md #hatecrimes md #wilson #housemd

[justepilepsy]

Okay uhm - I need to say this because I am noticing this a bit in the responses to Somerton's "Apology" video. Do people really think, just because ableism in the workplace is forbidden, that workplaces don't discriminate?

Even if insurance stuff covers your health issues, I won't put it past an employer to let you go with the made up argument it doesn't. Because non-epileptic people are generally very uncomfortable with seeing seizure activity and some of them will prioritize their comfort over sticking to anti-discrimination laws.

I think Somerton's video is full of BS, but I am even more uncomfortable with how happy people are to dismiss Somerton's medical history/symptoms, just so they can argue against him. As if people with disabilities can be absolved for being dicks by accepting their stated medical and discrimination history.

When you don't even have to do so to point out the harm Somerton's logic does?

I mean - I think it's warranted to question James' statements because of his complicated relationship with telling the truth, but I am just kind of bothered by how people argue "this could not have happened because laws/policies" No. Let it have happened. It makes his apology worse if you choose to believe him on this, trust me.

If our response to disabled people acting terrible (stealing other people's material and presenting it as your own), is to accuse said disabled people of lying about their symptoms and diagnosis, I think we are missing the point and problem.

#epilepsy #james somerton #actually epileptic #youtube #ableism #i did write a script on this and i will record a video on this because i am annoyed at somertons video but also annoyed at this reaction #i do think he is possibly exaggerating parts of his story but i can not tell because what he is talking about is stuff #that shows up in the epilepsy community fairly often #how am i supposed to tell he is lying about these things when these experiences HAPPEN and can be found online #sorry people i swear i will stop writing about this but it bothers me

[bakudekublogblog]

maybe i'm reading too much into this (and i probably am) but it's such an interesting choice for hori to make it so izuku's rightful place during this final war arc was for him to be at katsuki's side, but he gets STOLEN from that rightful place to hear?? what honestly is a very noticeably out of place/ill-timed hetero love confession (i think even tsu is like THIS AINT THE TIME FOR THIS) and then katsuki DIES because of that. like forced heterosexuality directly leads to katsuki getting killed. izuku doesn't belong in this forced heterosexual love confession he belongs with katsuki and being taken away from katsuki leads to him almost losing katsuki forever.

#bkdk #bakudeku #hori what are you trying to tell me what am i supposed to glean from this #hori says heterosexual love kills people actually #alsjdflkasf #i know i'm reading into this but like it's #it's so #izuku gets TAKEN FROM HIS RIGHTFUL PLACE to be forced into hearing a love confession and meanwhile loses the real love of his life??? #am i.... yes probably reading too much into this but it feels so intentional #like it's right there it feels??? #i dont know this is probably reaching but i cant stop thinking about how izuku and katsuki were supposed to fight together #they belonged TOGETHER

[waywardted]

I really do have love to give. I just don't know where to put it.                - Magnolia (1999)

#ted lasso #tedlassoedit #tedlassosource #ted lasso spoilers #rebecca welton #m*ne #mine: lasso #i just think it's so important that we're getting to see how she's grown into her ultimate unfettered bestie and beloved leader self #that her big heart that had been locked up for years can finally spill out over everyone around her #she's not caught up in rupert or dating apps or her brand or how she's *supposed* to be #she's FREE and LIGHT and honest and so wholly present and supportive and generous with her heart #SHE HAS SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE AND SHE HAS PLACES TO PUT IT #the wise up of it all i SWEAR #and with roy that she's like it's time for rebecca to be rebecca #she knows who she is and she's choosing it #not holding her tongue or staying out of things because of fear about how people might react to her honesty and how she presents herself #trusting that people she loves like roy and ted aren't going to punish her for telling them the truth #oh i am soooo emo about it i love her so much

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it can be true that certain lifestyle changes can help with pain and disability, but people really overplay how those changes will affect people's lives.

I've found that exercise has helped my back pain - I have had chronic back pain that PT didn't touch, but exercise has helped. However, what hasn't changed is what exasperates that pain, and when my pain is especially exasperated, it doesn't matter how much I exercise, I'll be in my bed trying so hard to get out, and I'll be seeing white. So, yes, exercise helped me, but it did not save me. That's an example of what I mean.

It's fine to give (solicited!!) advice to people about how to manage things like this. But I'm begging people to be realistic about this. Lifestyle changes can only do so much, and disabilities are - surprise! - disabling.

#disability #i just hate how people turn lifestyle advice into (again) thought-terminating clichés #because i DO all the things i'm ~supposed~ to do and it didn't save me... #...that tells me that it isn't this magical cure people think their advice is #i used my back pain as an example ofc and i'm not saying i have it bad or worse than anybody else #but my pain used to be so much worse and i'm glad it's gotten to the point... #...where i only experience bad days only so often where before it was multiple times per week... #...like as a kid my back pain would keep me up and almost make me cry and PT didn't help me whatsoever #i'm probably about the most active i've been in my life so far and i still have pain because i have a historical precdence for it #this is why i never will judge people for choosing not to make the '~proper~' lifestyle changes that ~help~ with their disability/ies #it isn't a contradiction that i am 'fit' and i'm in the market for a cane (maybe) #(i've been looking around because i want help getting up when i have an 'episode' of pain)

[maudiemoods]

Dumb thing based on an experience at work

I saw all my art flash before my eyes at that question. No. I do not draw.

#how am i supposed to explain this #i looove drawing sun and moon ans fanart its so so so awesome #but no one i know in person can know #ren won't shut up #i just tell people no dkkwjdkakske #because they ask and i show them #and they're disappointed because its not a realistic drawing of the golden gate bridge #jdjwjdjwjdjjwjsj #maudiemoods art tag

[weaponizedducks]

absolutely wild to me that your whole life is defined by exams you took when you were seventeen. their brains are not even fully developed yet. please pick a lane, adults. you dismiss their words. you call young people stupid and unable or not old enough to have good opinions or make choices or participate in the choosing of their own futures and yet you define their futures by one little test. well guess what an exam has a fuckton of choices and if they can't be trusted to have an opinion on their own lives then maybe they can't be trusted to make academic choices on a test either. either you give us a voice or you will not hear until it's too late

#by that i mean we will overthrow the government #get in losers we're going to overthrow the government #i am british so i do mean a levels/gcse's #i am not against exams or school but please #this doesn't just go for teenagers this goes for all young people- like late twenties early thirties their opinions get dismissed bc of age #but not too young for people to harrass/assault/take advantage of? #the people in charge don't care about the things that matter #school #exams #gcse #government #fuck the government #this is about kosa #STOP RESTRICTING FREEDOM #stop kosa #kosa #i'm not even from the usa but this is horrific #do you realise how stupid you sound telling teens they can't make their own choices then giving a forty page test on random unrelated shit #yeah no if i can't have an opinion how am i supposed to do well on tests?

[autisticlee]

is it an autistic experience to ALWAYS be the one in a friend group who gets left out, alienated, secretly disliked, then kicked out of the group?

#autistic #autism #actually autistic #autism things #asking autistics #i want/need a friend group but it ALWAYS GOES BAD!!!!!!!! AND ITS SOMEHOW ALWAYS MY FAULT?! idk what im doing wrong. people suck. #but i need people and i hate that about me. why cant i split myself in half a few times #or learn how to do group activities alone....like playing tennis. going to the amusement park ive wanred to go to since i was a kid. #drive alone on long trips where i will fall asleep but talk to myself so i dont or something. walk on the park trails alone where people #get kidnapped and stuff when alone. go to a convention and cosplay a group of characters alone. one for each finger.... #if you cant tell im being sarcastic. and doing a bad job. sighs. i hate that i have to do everything i need/want a group for alone because #i cant make friends or make groups keep me in them. assuming because im autistic and they hate me 🙃 #eother that or im a piece of shit and dont realize it!!!!! how am i supposed to know when no one tells me!!!! 😭😭😭😭 #so is it actually me and my fault or is it because im autistic and people just do this to us for some reason #autism stuff

[jeanmoreaux]

me @ everyone responsible for sacrificing good storytelling on the altar of fanservice and making the decision to undermine the thematic and emotional core of the og trilogy:

#shadow and bone #mish watches sab #it was supposed to be about how being greedy for power will cost you EVERYTHING you care about 🤌 #it was supposed to be about realising that by choosing power you will keep yourself from any genuine and fulfilling emotional connection 🤌 #it was supposed to be about how power corrupts and love restores 🤌 #it was supposed be about a young girl who is used as a pawn by people reclaiming her agency by choosing a life of freedom and love 🤌 #but instead it's about the girlbossification of alina starkov #i am angry can you tell.

[lighthouseas]

whenever will has a bad day at work (or just a bad day in general), and he's just sitting on the couch and sulking, mike will put on will's current favorite song and ask him to dance really stupidly formally like they do at weddings. will always rolls his eyes and pouts and refuses at first - until he sees mike, his wonderful amazing beautiful boyfriend, busting out his absolute cringiest dance moves to their favorite the cure song or whatever else and singing along to said song horrifically off key in the middle of their living room. and then mike extends his hands to will and forcefully pulls him up off the couch and twirls him around and dips him down to kiss him like he's the most special boy in the world (because he is. Obviously) and will can't pout anymore because mike's hands are so big and warm in his own and it's just them, being stupid and silly and crazy together in their tiny little one bedroom apartment and dancing along to all of their favorites. before the first song even finishes, though, will finds himself singing and dancing along too and twirling mike back because mike's dopey little grin is so damn infectious that he just. can't help it.

and this is how mike develops the Tried And True Method To Turn Will's Frown Upside Down (pun not intended) that he still continues even when they're older and married, because they're still stupid kids at heart and love each other so much that it needs to be shared in every way possible ❤️

#YES I KNOW I AM SUPPOSED TO BE OFFLINE SHHHHHH #this came to me in a vision while listening to the cure and i needed to share it. ok #i DID get a lot of writing and watching done though!!!!! i promise <3 #god anyways. can u tell how much they mean 2 me. #will will be like mike im not in the mood and then mike will grab a hairbrush for a microphone and shred on an air guitar and be like #-are u sure. are u sure you aren't in the mood. and will will be like. oh my god you're so stupid. make out w me #reminder that mike is canonically goofy as hell yall. i hate when people make him emo and sad like GOD NO HE IS NOT THAT BOY IS A GOOFBALL #HE IS SAD YES BUT HE HAS THE CAPACITY TO BE AN ABSOLUTE GOOF AND WE NEED TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT. #thank you for coming to my ted talk. xx #stranger things #mike wheeler #will byers #byler #st.txt

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

there are too many thoughts inside of me at all times.

#hello friends hope you all are doing well. my words have been abandoning me lately. #I talk a lot and feel like I say nothing. it is truly frustrating. #meanwhile I am doing a bible word study and realizing that all the things I have realized in the past might be valid #(namely the way that a lot of people in my church tradition try to reduce biblical concepts of 'peace' to a sort of inward emotional state #and that's not actually a great way to interpret the biblical concept of shalom. like at all. and massively cheats a lot of communities out #of the actual practical real-life extension of the kingdom and how it's supposed to function) #also I had a minor crisis a few days ago when I looked at a boy who I know only vaguely and thought 'oh. shoot. he's cute.' #I am not used to having these sorts of thoughts or at least not to acknowledging them to myself #not sure why I'm telling tumblr this but I have no one else to tell it to and I feel like I should get it out of my system lol :') #ok logging off again gotta eat some noodles and finish this assignment with is already late #I will see you guys at a later date #(probably not too much later tho bc it is spring break and I am unfortunately stuck at college and there are very few other people here :') #gurt says stuff

[musubiki]

recently thinking about the tcwg episode where mochis mob spell finally starts running out. apparently its maximum possible usage is 10 years (which they find out from pom) and appearently tiramisu put it on her too soon,,... when they ask her she says "Oh...you were such a cute kid I didn't want to wait too long!!" while pinching her cheeks, and suddenly theres a few more people at school who are like "Hey...I never really noticed but...Mochi is kinda pretty, huh?"

for the people who start to notice, they chalk it up to "Maybe she hit puberty late...?" or something, but regardless she has 1 or 2 more people actually ask her out, and lime starts to realize how much it bothers him

#text #bpp #lore #she is....not used to it #mayhaps let this be the moment lime realizes #the pitcher on the baseball team one day standing next to lime and goes (So....mochi doesnt have a boyfriend right?) #and lime takes a very long pause #(technically no but first of all what the hell? no one ever notices her. and second of all i feel sick to my stomach) -lime thoughts #pom: it should be fine. youre almost graduated so you dont have to deal with it much longer #and mochi trying to grapple with the idea that some people actually think shes pretty #(besides her mom and coco. theyre the only people who tell her and she thinks theyre being nice) #shes like (i think theyre lying...) #(they are definately not lying) -lime thoughts again #only like 2 people have enough bravery. the others are like (shit shes limes girl though....how am i supposed to compete with that) #the mob spell is op but only for a little while #and after it runs out it cant be recast on the same person #lime didnt realize that she doesnt think shes pretty at all #when that guy confesses to her the first thing she says is (you...think im pretty?) #coco oscar and lime all hovering outside the classroom listening

[oatbugs]

Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship

#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it #it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper #provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the #interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after #50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked #his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it #he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from #when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has #his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever #but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how #we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe #cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna #back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed #practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence #we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one #who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted #to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say #goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art. #you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea? #if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa #the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding #his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.