#and high anxiety levels

[teaforqne]

i hope you guys don't dislike me or find me annoying 🧍🏻

#vent?? i guess #vent in tags #hell yeah #I've been getting paranoid over being disliked all of the sudden #it feels like at least someone must secretly hate me but still follows me #am i annoying #i hope I'm not #i like you guys a lot #this is one of the worst parts of having bpd #the feeling of impending doom that's constantly with me #and high anxiety levels #at all times #but oh well

[barghest-land]

horse. just horse. i'm checking out colored pencil brushes

also some things in the process? i guess? idk it's just me looking at different layers and thinking "that does look like someone missing a part of themselves" and then spiraling into my thoughts

#barghestland #art #artists on tumblr #and #rdr2 #rdr2 fanart #cuz it's rdr2 horsie #haven't decided which bg to keep #so have two of them at once #my level of anxiety is too high tbh don't wanna decide anything. just wanna draw horse

[micarxena]

here, have a messy vere

#vere #touchstarved game #red spring studio #everyday mun sighs like a longing maiden but she also experiences high levels of anxiety

[glimblshanks]

In Room For Growth Mariner really does heavily imply that she'd finally do something to get herself kicked out of Starfleet if Brad's "Bold Boimler" antics got him killed.

#lower decks #lwd #marinler #beckett mariner #bradward boimler #sorry sorry #I don't mean to keep posting things about old seasons #but I'm rewatching everything with The Inner Fight goggles on now #Anyways it's interesting to me how in the context of season 4 #A lot of Mariners quippy one liners start to actually come across #as someone expressing very intense and frequent anxiety about death and abandonment #but doing so in a way that wouldn't be immediately obvious if you didn't know how much Sitos death effected her #like there's a lot of lines I laughed at when first watching the show #that now I watch them and I'm like 'oh no Mariner 🥺🥺🥺🥺' #like I'm actually sort of coming to the conclusion that she is - base level - more anxious and high strung than Boimler is #she just expresses that anxiety in a less obvious ways so the people around her don't pick up on it #might make a longer post about this once I've finished my rewatch

[desertduality]

red life skin goes hard

#i am. so easily embarrassed asdkj social anxiety kicks my ass /lh #debated whether or not I wanted to post this but I have decided to be unapologetically mediocre at art #<- in a very positive way aksjjs my skill level is not high I doodle for fun :) #gtws #goodtimeswithscar #art apparently

[yellowyarn]

disability isn't a "social construct". my disabilities are real and will always exist even in some perfect world.

#tw ableism #disability #nuero punk #autism #mental disabilities #autipunk #auti punk #nueropunk #asd #level 2 autism #level 3 autism #delayed sleep phase disorder #sleep disorder #phobia #anxiety #high support needs #medium support needs #level 1 autistic people need to quit acting like they are the default when it comes to autism #and if you have no right to make statements about a disability you dont have without properly facr checking it and talking to people with #said disability #fuck ableism #if you dont think disability would exist in a perfect world thats eugenics

[nights-at-crystarium]

wolqotd

Alone in their private space, before a day out, a duty perhaps, does your WoL need to psych themselves up? Do they point at the mirror and say "you got this"?

#Vivi's confidence level is high #anxiety low #luck exorbitant #so he doesn't need any psyching up #he simply gets dressed goes out and gets shit done #(but boy would it be amusing if he needed that) #ffxiv #wolqotd #vivien rell #text post

[itspileofgoodthings]

Nina and I are unfortunately like dynamite and gunpowder. something happens and we’re just like oh yeah? You wanna go? Let’s go! Meet me in the ring bitch!

#part of our power is the insane SPEED and then reconciliation of our fights #we forgive and communicate as fast as we fight #but there is no one in the world who makes me just SAY the shit I shouldn’t say than her #like she just. she herself is so fast and so blunt and so ruthless and so bullying and so LOUD #that it fires me right up and it’s like okay well FINE the gloves are off #but then it makes me anxious after like. did I say something TOO hurtful #Nina and I always joke we have the RANGE #because for all of my we’re the struggling married couple of sisters #we also have times where the fun and exchange of ideas is flowing #and this ability to say and hear things to/from each other that most people don’t/can’t? #like. the level of rock-solid trust is SO high. but equally high is our wildly differing personalities and worldview #so there isn’t anything quite like it and it can be confusing from the outside #like I HAVE to meet her in the parking lot because she’ll be being the WORST #but also she thinks I am being the worst #but anyway I do hate when a fight seems like NEW territory #and then I always worry that I have done irreversible damage #I can hear Nina in my head mocking that very idea because she is so tough #and mocking the anxiety of me being like nothing can ever be okay again #but life and certain subjects have been traumatizing in the past year #so idk what is safe exactly right now #I am FULLY rambling and having a million thoughts at once #but yeah #SORRY FOR SWEARING #twice

[dupliciti]

also i forget in what context i was writing this but sam.po benefits from being ambidextrous but he still favors his right side

he leads with his right foot, in his skill animation he throws with his right arm/holds weapon in right hand when daggers are joined. he’s got the shoulder piece on the right side which if he’s leading with right foot kinda makes sense to have there but eh. his right glove is also more decked out

how could i forget twirling a single dagger with his right hand in idle

#my anxiety levels are kinda high rn bc there’s more people in the office than usual today #when i get home and stuff i wanna queue up older stuff but we’ll see just how busy i end up being ig #( ◇ ᵐʸ ᵈᵉᵃʳ ᵃᵘᵈⁱᵉⁿᶜᵉ┊ ooc; )

[betasuppe]

& just. I've said it before & I want to be sure I say I once more. To those wonderful 20 or so of you guys who have always been here for me, leaving kind comments & fun tags on my posts & drawings... you made it worthwhile for me being here & made me actually happy to share my silly draws & ideas with y'all♡

#my insecurity levels are stupidly high but #i was willing to ignore my crippling anxiety that will otherwise keep my drawings forever away from anyone else #i dunno i frel im going backwards #sorry if im a fucking pathetic mopey idiot but #... i am i guess lol #anyways ill likely be shutting up soon & making some decisions or deletions #we'll see #i just hope you all know how much im disappointed in myself & how much i hate myself through all this hehe♡

[maybebi47]

someone tell me why im about to have a real life heart attack bc of a fictional dnd show about fictional kids who are not real?.

#d20 #fantasy high #dimension 20 #look guys im very not normal about this coming ep i dont know why #like im so anxious i wasn't this anxious for job interviews these are unprecedented levels of anxiety someone help me

[firebuug]

the stupid thing about anxiety that leans into straight up paranoia territory is that you can be weirdly paranoid and expectant of something terrible, worst case scenario ever to happen like, all the time, but since it's never happened to you you know it's unreasonable. but the moment one of the things you're crazy about actually happens, all those other extremely way more unreasonable things suddenly become plausible in your head by association, so now you're just on guard ALL the time. it's like throwing your anxiety a bone and because it was good that time and did a good job of preparing you for it now it's like ok! I will do this for everything else too and i will do a good job. but really it just needs to be put down

#in my case its like. i was highly paranoid of car incidents happening. but i was able to like. nap in a car comfortably cuz it never hapened #but i was ALSO unreasonably so paranoid about likr. inexplicably suddenly just getting a bullet to the skull. like out of nowhere anytime #so now that a terrifying car incident HAS happened to me now im like okay #im super high guard about that now and can barely close an eye in a vehicle without shaking. but. now that thats plausible. #whats saying im not gonna be sniped any moment any time while in public . who says. #i as a perosn know its exteemely unreasonable and sily especially considering where i live. but now that my anxiety has been fed #it's basically all gone downhill into insanity #anyways i need therapy but i dont have time energy or transportation. SLAYYYY!!!!!!!❗❗❗❗🫡 #txt #to detract this from myself therefore cancelling out any vulnerability on main: if i give an oc anxiety please know #it is this level of crawling up walls 'my head is going to blow off in five seconds and you need to shield me' bullshit and not 'oh no ppl.

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

ugh i feel so overwhelmed. it's just so much right now the working, studying, the anxiety stress about the exams, my bad perfectionist habits.. I feel so lost. I know that I wanted this and I have no regrets, but now it feels a little too much. God I'm so tired.

#i just wanna cry honestly #finals week #finas stress #i had a few early catching up exams when I started uni this semester #venting time #sad lady #i need a nap #is this will be better? #anxiety level high as fuck #paris geller level of stress #not my picture #how you handle stress any tips for a lost lady?

[debeedoublefu]

When I was a kid I thought they could carbon date paper to figure out when stuff was written on it and future people would know I submitted all my assignments like a month late or did the exercises out of order and would judge me

#ias posts #figured id scream this to the void rather than talk about it to people i know #all my assignments were late because i procrastinated due to high levels of anxiety and depression starting in primary school #but to this day (im an adult with a degree) my parents say i was and am just lazy #whatever i moved across an ocean so slay

[einsatzzz]

im being so brave rn, very brave. will continue being brave even if my exams hypothetically gets postponed to may/june, prolonging my suffering 🤣

#ok it got delayed to mid-february #but it hasn't been confirmed yet so its still up in the air tbh #but it can't get delayed any more than that bc i have an out of country trip #and i alr paid for the plane tickets for those #for my mental health and morale im not postponing that trip for this exam #ive alr compromised enough #i can accept it being postponed to may/june if ever #i'll just do my best #tho my anxiety being at consistently high levels for a long time now is really fcking over my brain #personal

[itspileofgoodthings]

the answer to the question of why I am this way is very often anxiety

#I know it’s not my personality etc. etc. but truly never been able to so clearly see how much anxiety I have #until this year! #my very matter of fact counselor: your base line level of anxiety is very high #me: surprised pikachu face #anyway it’s kind of helpful to just see how it has exacerbated so many things over the years that I used to just think …. Was me #and like. It IS. But it’s also a bent/slant/wiring to my make-up that is separate from me #so it just makes sense. like yes I am sensitive and I hate when people say mean things about things I love #but the panic I feel when people don’t agree or word something harshly???? that has manifested physically in me for my entire freaking life #that’s not because of how deep my attachment to it is or some weird psychological reason bound up in the wording of the hurtful phrase #or in the thing I loved itself #Like I used to think it was #It’s just …. anxiety #i don’t have to intellectualize all of it. some things are just triggers and it sets things in motion #it’s hard to know what the triggers are and it’s also funny to reflect on what can be #because I am a very specific fiercely attached funny little bean with a very definite history that has shaped me #but just trying to plumb the depths of every situation that has ever hurt me to try to find some deep truth about why I’m hurt #And what reality I’ve touched on that is causing me pain #It just isn’t what’s happening. It’s pretty simple #I honestly had this breakthrough once about Taylor and why taylor criticism made me anxious #Like I just always externalized all of it in that i would be like it hurts me because of the way taylor is or something #but there was this one moment where it was like it’s upsetting you because of you #But then I put it away and went back to analyzing the world and her externally lol #Anyway it’s going to be a journey! But it does feel pretty big that I’ve been able to reach it here #Also it’s so weird because it’s like shouldn’t I have known earlier? Shouldn’t other people have known earlier? And many DID #but also. I don’t always display it well #I make eye contact! I smile! I speak confidently!!! #And actually a lot of people are like ‘she’s fine she can handle this’ and it’s like I can’t I will DIE #I was talking to Maria the other day about this and she pointed it out to me. #I don’t look vulnerable and I don’t look like you can hurt my feelings by being like ‘I don’t really care for Kylo Ren’ #But you CAN and yes that’s the deep love but it’s also the anxiety! I think it’ll just be learning to balance those things in me. Not erase