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exxar1 · 3 years

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Episode 4: Waking Up

11/14/2020

Good morning, folks. As I write this, I’m sitting in my living room, listening to an Apple music channel of classic Christmas carols, while late morning sunshine streams through my front window. I have just finished putting laundry in the dryer and washing the few dishes in the sink that piled up during the week. My McDonald’s iced coffee is almost gone, and I’m feeling ready to face the day.

I have a couple hours before I have to start getting ready for work, so there’s not a lot of time to hammer out this blog entry. I don’t have a lot to say for this episode, but I have been feeling somewhat strange for the last couple weeks. Not ‘strange’ in the physical sense, but ‘strange’ as in ‘there’s something happening with me that I can’t quite explain’.

And now I’m going to try to explain what I’m talking about.

Per my usual work routine, I spend 5 ½ hours every morning, Monday through Friday, in the lobby of Walmart, greeting customers and making sure everyone is wearing their face mask. And, as usual, I have nothing but my own thoughts and the occasional conversation with co-workers to keep me company. But mostly just my own thoughts. And boy, my brain lately will just not shut down – or even go into standby mode. It seems that all I can do lately is just think, think, think. Here’s a sample of what tumbles through my head from morning until night every day:

· Is the ballot recounts for the national election close to being done? Will Trump retain his presidency (I hope), or will America finally get its first female president? (Yes, you read that correctly.)

· Spencer Klavan of the “Young Heretics” podcast so damn good looking, and the fact that he’s also a “Super Mario Bros” fan in addition to being ivy league educated and possessing near-savant level human intelligence has forced me to finally admit that I have had a massive crush on him for almost four months now. (I just wish he wasn’t such an avid gym rat. That’s such a turnoff. Well, that, and the fact he already has a boyfriend.)

· I need to start working on the story ideas that came to me a few weeks ago. There’s two really good ones that I know would make excellent short stories, or, at the very least, novellas. One’s about a superhero called The Red Mask, and the other is about cats and dogs that are created with a sophisticated AI that allows them to look, feel and behave exactly like real animals but without all the maintenance and mess that pet owners have to put up with (such as feeding them, combing them, bathing them, walking them, training them, cleaning up their poop, etc.).

· Oh! A circuit court judge in Georgia just ordered a bunch of ballots to be thrown out in that state’s recount!

· Spencer Klavan liked one of my tweets about Young Heretics!!!!

· Should I have McDonald’s for lunch or the apple I brought with me? The apple. Definitely the apple. Need to stay healthy.

· I can’t believe all the idiots on social media that not only voted for Biden/Harris but actually think that he will make a good president. What the hell is wrong with them???? Anyone with half a brain can easily recognize what Trump has done for this country, and it scares the shit out of me that the radical left (capital ‘R’, capital ‘L’) just might get their foot in the door of the White House. What the fuck is wrong with half of America right now??? It’s all that “white fragility”, “systemic racism”, “white privilege”, “black lives matter” bullshit!!! How the fuck did that horseshit gain such powerful traction in this country????Robin Deanglo and Ibram X Kendi and all their pathetic followers are so full of shit they ought to open their own manure factory!!!!

· Yay! The 2021 “Super Mario Bros” and “Star Trek” wall calendars I ordered on Amazon have shipped! They’ll be here Tuesday!

· And that reminds me, I need to start working on the photo calendars that I give to my family every year for Christmas. Maybe I should do that this Saturday morning before my shift at Check City.

· Oh. Time for my break. Yay! Coffee!

And…repeat. That. All of that. Over and over all day long – creative story thoughts, political thoughts, work thoughts, checking my phone three times an hour to review the latest posts on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to stay on top of all the latest news and current events that serve to fuel my new woke self. Texting friends and family about this and that. On and on and on...

Hhmmm. My new woke self.

The other day, as this new thought occurred to me, I mentally reviewed everything that’s happened to me this year, everything that I wrote about in that first blog episode. I also thought about my recent self-examination of my whole life up to this point, the stuff I covered in episodes 2 and 3 of this blog. Then I thought back over the last two weeks: the sudden and unexpected passing of Aaron; his memorial service that I made an emergency trip home to Idaho to attend; and, finally, this new, strange…’wokeness’, for lack of a better term, that I now find myself in.

I honestly don’t know how to precisely describe it. I’ve been trying all this week to come up with apt, specific words and/or phrases, and then, finally, I thought of something. I’m a huge fan of the reboot of “Battlestar: Galactica” that was done by Ronald D Moore on the SyFy channel in 2004. It’s been a few years since I last binged all 4 seasons of that terrific show, but I was thinking about it the other day as my mind wandered, and it suddenly occurred to me what this new ‘woke’ state that I’m in feels like: the Cylon sleeper agents (who looked and acted like real humans) that were suddenly awakened to their true nature.

Yeah, I’m not kidding. Yes, I know how that sounds, but let me explain. I really feel like that, somewhere deep in the core of my brain, a metaphorical ‘switch’ was flipped from ‘off’ to ‘on’ along about late August or early September of this year. The world around me did not change, but my perception of it – as well as my perception of my place in it – did fundamentally change. I realized this week that for pretty much all my life I’ve been coasting through it. Everything that I’ve done and accomplished took no real effort or sacrifice on my part. Everything after high school pretty much just happened naturally. I decided to join the Army on a whim. When that didn’t work out, I came back home and enrolled in college. I spent 4 ½ years doing what I loved – reading, writing, discussing reading and writing – and I came out with a Bachelor’s in English. Again, no real effort. I coasted through on my natural talents. The only real work was in the core classes that I needed for my degree, like math or biology. But those were few. And then, after college, instead of putting my degree to use, I just settled for a day job in retail and then, later, in an elementary school. And then, in 2012, on a whim, I quit my job and moved to Las Vegas. Once again, I found a cushy day job where I make really good money, and…then 2020 happened.

In other words, I’ve never been an active participant in my own life. I just kinda let everything happen and went with the flow. I even had this same attitude in high school and it drove my parents and teachers absolutely mad. I didn’t care about being valedictorian or captain of the sports teams or even being the best damn piano player this side of the Rockies. All that mattered was hanging out with my friends and making sure the VCR was set each week to record the newest episodes of “Star Trek: DS9” and “Star Trek: Voyager”. And, without consciously realizing it, that’s been my attitude for my whole damn life. I’ve never cared about the world beyond my own front door. If it didn’t affect my life directly, I never paid it any attention. That’s especially true for politics. No matter who sat in the White House, my life never changed. So I figured, why bother? I’m perfectly content to live a quiet, solitary existence, and the rest of the world can do its own thing.

Except that now I’m no longer content with my quiet, solitary existence. Something within me fundamentally changed this year, and there’s no going back.

I am awake. (But, unlike the Cylons, I’m not about to start murdering humans.) I’m certain that it was God’s hand that reached down to flip that invisible switch in my brain, but now that I have rejected my former sleeper state, I don’t know exactly what to do. For the last couple weeks, I have felt nervous; anxious; excited; jittery; like a live wire that’s been cut and is now flopping on the ground, shooting sparks and energy. I have to constantly resist the urge to grab total strangers off the street and shout at them to “Wake up!” The world around us is changing, and we can’t live as sleeper agents in our own lives. Everything that’s happened in 2020 is going to shape the future of this country and the lives of everyone in it, and no one can afford to not care and just keep living their quiet, solitary lives.

This is why I scream on social media about the stupid mask mandates, and the ‘lamestream’ media, and politics, and everything else that I’ve been ranting and raving about for nine months. And yes, I’m sure some of my friends think I’ve gone crazy, and more than a few have probably unfollowed me. I don’t mean to alienate folks, but I have to put this energy somewhere or I’ll go crazy.

One of biggest changes that I have noted is that I no longer have a desire to park in front of the TV in my time off. I still have a few regular shows that I watch each week, but my passion has turned to reading and podcasts. I renewed my Audible.com membership a few months ago, and I have started stockpiling audiobooks on various subjects: biographies of the Founding Fathers of America, non-fiction books on artificial intelligence and other new forms of technology, books on world history, western literature and Greek philosophy. (I recently began listening to a series of lectures from Boston University on Plato’s “Republic”). And, of course, the highlight of my week is a new episode of “Young Heretics” every Tuesday. (And no, it’s not just because of my crush on Spencer Klavan.) I also have started carving out an hour here and there each day to grab my laptop and write a few paragraphs of new stories or just jot notes for upcoming stories.

I really, honestly feel as if something is coming. I don’t know what, I don’t know when, but God woke me up for a reason. He’s got something planned for me, and I need to be ready for it. I’m pretty certain the world is not coming to an end anytime soon, and I’m sure 2021 will be a better year for our nation than 2020, no matter who’s sitting in the White House. And yes, Lord willing, this stupid “pandemic” will also be over sometime soon. For me, personally, 2020 was the year that changed me and got me ready for whatever is coming. A fire’s been lit under my ass, but I’m not sure where yet where I’m supposed to be jumping up and running to.

I am sure, however, that It’s time to be an active participant in my own life.

Hey mom and dad, I really do care now, and I really, truly want to do my best. I want only top grades and to be the captain of…something. It only took twenty-six? Twenty-seven years? But now I’m going to be that grade-A student that you and Mrs. Tutty and Mrs. Jones and Mr. Walker always knew I could be.

Better late than never, eh?

#life #Christian #gay #politics #truth #woke

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dippedanddripped · 5 years

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Supreme, an underground streetwear brand, has attracted a cultlike following among teens seeking hard-to-get looks by keeping its products scarce. But now an Italian businessman is flooding the market with T-shirts and hoodies bearing its bright red-and-white logo, and claiming he is doing nothing wrong.

Michele di Pierro, who started the rogue version of the brand in Europe, has filed trademarks for variations of the Supreme logo in dozens of countries since 2015, forcing the U.S. company to face off against him in courts around the world. Supreme has denounced his operation as a “counterfeit organization” and succeeded in shutting him down in Italy. Still, his clothes are on sale in stores in Spain and China, and he wants to sell more.

Supreme, born in 1994 out of New York City’s skateboard scene, has long released styles in limited quantities, forcing fans to rush to its website or stand in long lines at one of its 11 stores. The company’s T-shirts and hoodies often sell out immediately and then can be found listing for more than $1,000 on eBay and other sites. With about 13 million Instagram followers, the brand has amassed a bigger following than household names like Ralph Lauren and Under Armour . In 2017, the company sold a roughly 50% stake to private-equity firm Carlyle Group LP for about $500 million, giving it a valuation of nearly $1 billion.

Brand Battle

IBF’s Supreme store in Barcelona makes lavish use of the signature logo. PHOTO: NATHAN ALLEN/THE WALL STREET JOURNAL

Nearly every brand from Gap to Gucci has battled copycats around the globe that can tarnish the name and sap demand by selling fake goods. But unlike streetside vendors selling cheap knockoffs or shadowy counterfeiters on websites like Amazon or Alibaba, Mr. di Pierro isn’t hiding. He is asserting a legal claim and selling through storefronts in major cities.

A spokesman for Supreme declined to make its founder, James Jebbia, available for an interview. Earlier this year, Mr. Jebbia told Business of Fashion that Mr. di Pierro is taking advantage of Supreme because the company doesn’t typically talk to the press. “I don’t think another company has really had to deal with this like we have,” he said. “This is a whole new level with this criminal enterprise—these complete impostors and impersonators.”

The spokesman said in a statement: “Our legal team is currently dealing with these impersonators, but our focus, as always, goes into making the quality products our customers around the world expect.”

Supreme, which was slow to protect its trademark internationally, has now registered it in more than 70 countries and filed injunctions to stop Mr. di Pierro. The company is awaiting the outcome of legal fights in Spain and China, where Mr. di Pierro’s products are still sold in stores. At stake is its billion-dollar brand, which depends on keeping its products scarce.

Products of the American clothing brand Supreme on display at the KICKIT Sneaker e Streetwear Market in Rome in September. PHOTO: ALESSANDRO BIANCHI/REUTERS

Mr. di Pierro said he is making fashion accessible to young people by selling more affordable items than what is available on reselling sites. Shoppers are buying his clothes because the fabric is lightweight, he said, making it more wearable in warm climates. “Our success is not based on the box logo,” he said. “It’s the quality.”

Mr. di Pierro said he has been in the textile industry for decades and studied the rise of streetwear. He couldn’t explain why he picked Supreme for his brand. “When I filed for registration in Italy, I did it in good faith,” he said. “I didn’t know it even existed. It wasn’t popular in Italy. There wasn’t even a store.”

Before launching Supreme Italia, Mr. di Pierro operated a sportswear business, which filed for bankruptcy, and he later was convicted of fraud in relation to that bankruptcy, according to Italian court documents reviewed by The Wall Street Journal. That judgment was upheld in two appeals, most recently in November 2018. Mr. di Pierro declined to comment on the matter.

His U.K.-incorporated company, International Brand Firm Ltd., has at least seven active trademark registrations with the word “Supreme” and more than 20 pending ones, according to a database maintained by the World Intellectual Property Organization, a United Nations agency based in Geneva.

T-shirts stacked up at IBF’s Supreme store in Barcelona. PHOTO: NATHAN ALLEN/THE WALL STREET JOURNAL

IBF has registered trademarks for variations such as Supreme Spain, Supreme Kids and Supreme Italia. It has a trademark for a “Supreme Spain” logo with black letters on a yellow skateboard, though much of the apparel at its stores in Spain features the familiar red-and-white “Supreme” logo.

While Supreme stores sell few items with its signature logo, making it hard to come by, Mr. di Pierro’s store in Barcelona splashes it everywhere—on the walls, the checkout counter and dozens of products from suitcases to sweatshirts. There, a white T-shirt with a red-and-white Supreme logo is available for €49 ($56), compared with the $32 Supreme charged the last time it offered the shirt—and the $889 it sold for on StockX, a reselling platform.

Liz Guerrero, on vacation from Chicago, recently bought $300 worth of clothes for her son at the Barcelona store. She tried to return the merchandise about 30 minutes later when she realized it wasn’t the New York-based brand.

“When we got back to the hotel and had internet, we checked it out and found out there’s only like six stores in the world,” Ms. Guerrero said. She was told she couldn’t get her money back, she said. Mr. di Pierro said his stores allow returns within 30 days.

Supreme’s store at Bowery and Spring Street in lower Manhattan earlier this month. PHOTO: AGATON STROM FOR THE WALL STREET JOURNAL

IBF licenses other brands and sells Supreme-branded merchandise in several stores in Spain, as well as through a partner that has opened two stores in China. Due to trademark disputes, Mr. di Pierro said he now employs more lawyers than apparel executives.

Supreme could have avoided some problems had it secured its trademark in every country more than two decades ago when it opened up shop, as brands often do when they launch. It didn’t register its logo in the U.S. until more than a decade after its New York City shop opened, and it waited years to file registrations in other countries. The company didn’t hire a general counsel until 2017.

A U.S. registration doesn’t offer protection abroad. In a famous 1990s case, a restaurateur in South Africa successfully argued that McDonald’s Corp. had let its trademark lapse through nonuse. The fast-food chain fought a long legal battle to reclaim its trademark in the country.

While the U.S. confers rights to the first party to use a logo, many European countries have a first-to-file system, registering a trademark to the first party to get its application in. A single application potentially covers more than 100 countries that are part of an agreement called the Madrid Protocol. Mr. di Pierro filed such an application.

Distinctive Character

If a brand wasn’t the first to register but is well known in a given market, it can argue that another party did a “filing in bad faith” and is causing confusion among customers, said Etienne Sanz de Acedo, chief executive of the International Trademark Association, whose members include Supreme.

Sometimes the similarity between two logos appears far from innocent, he continued. “What a coincidence that it’s exactly the same name, exactly the same combination of colors, exactly the same font,” he said, referring broadly to copycat trademarks. “This is not pure coincidence.” He declined to comment on the specific dispute between Supreme and its foe.

In Mr. di Pierro��s case, the similarities have led to confusion, even among sophisticated corporate partners. At an event in December, Samsung Electronics Co. announced a collaboration in China with Supreme Italia. Mr. di Pierro said the partnership was arranged through his distributors there. After New York-based Supreme publicly said Samsung was working with a counterfeit organization, the company canceled its deal.

“Samsung respects the intellectual property rights of others. Samsung Electronics China did not proceed with the previously announced partnership,” a Samsung spokesman said.

Michele di Pierro, the head of IBF, which sells products bearing the Supreme brand. The company has been accused of counterfeiting the Supreme brand founded in New York. PHOTO: MICHAEL BUCHER/THE WALL STREET JOURNAL

Mr. di Pierro said Supreme’s recent actions have hurt his prospects but he plans to keep expanding, including by opening more stores. “They file almost every day now in a pretty frenetic, schizophrenic way,” in countries such as India, Denmark and China, he said. A spokesman for Supreme declined to comment on that characterization.

An Italian court ruled in 2017 that Mr. di Pierro was engaging in “parasitic competition.” The products of “Supreme Italia” were seized, stores closed and operations came to a halt. Mr. di Pierro has appealed the decision but currently isn’t allowed to sell in Italy.

In Spain, a judge in October 2018 dismissed a preliminary injunction by Supreme to shut down Mr. di Pierro’s operations, saying he wanted to hear the merits of the case. In China, both sides are awaiting decisions on trademark registrations.

Supreme has faced some challenges in proving its popularity because of its business strategy. It has just 11 stores (two in New York, six in Japan, and one each in London, Los Angeles and Paris), spends very little on advertising and doesn’t push product sales.

A lawyer for Mr. di Pierro’ questioned whether the Supreme logo will ultimately prove too generic to trademark. The European Union’s second-highest court ruled this month that Adidas AG’s iconic three-stripe branding didn’t qualify, saying Adidas hadn’t provided enough evidence that the parallel stripes were a mark of “distinctive character” worthy of protection.

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS

How much do you worry about other people purchasing knockoffs of premium goods you own? Join the conversation below.

It’s also sometimes hard to determine what is original. Supreme’s logo resembles the work of conceptual artist Barbara Kruger, whose black-and-white photos are often accompanied by captions in red-and-white text.

The brand has also been known to use other company’s logos. In Supreme’s early years, Louis Vuitton sent the company a cease-and-desist letter for doing so. The luxury fashion house later partnered with the streetwear maker to release products that feature hybrids of both logos.

Mr. di Pierro said he himself is dealing with copycats and intends to see them prosecuted. He said he has had to stop doing business in Turkey because factories there would produce thousands of extra garments to sell on the black market.

He pointed to a photo on his smartphone of a bus in China with the words “Supreme Italia” splashed across the side—something he said wasn’t authorized by him or his partners.

“This is the reality,” he said. “There really are ghosts.”

#supreme #supremenyc #fashion business #James Jebbia #streetwear #streetwear blog #fashion blog #urbanwear blog

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justfollowmyhansel · 6 years

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October 17th -- Lift Up Your Hands

I woke up in the hotel feeling very calm. Relaxed even for what felt like the first time in a long time. Perhaps it was being able to take an extended bath in the ridiculous sized tub. Or perhaps it was the idea that I had absolutely nothing that I had to do that day besides getting to the show. The more I thought about it, it was probably more that than anything else. Besides at this point, most of the pressure to actually do something or the nervousness of just what the show would be had passed. There was still excitement, of course, but I’d be able to enjoy myself in a different way than I had up until that point at tonight’s show having already seen the staging from the same relative angle.

My only bit of shopping that I had set aside for the day was that I had wanted to try out the 100 Yen store. Dollar stores in the US have long been a favourite of mine for the weird things you can find and the way it makes it relatively easy to try new things. Possibly not the best quality things, but enough to give an idea of whether or not it’s worth investing more money into later.

After eating the cereal I had ordered to my room the previous night and armed with the instructions given to me by the lady working the lobby the previous night, I set out.

I got as far as the train station before something went sideways. Of course, like a lot of times getting turned around, I didn’t realize that I had gotten turned around until I was very turned around.

I stopped into a grocery store thinking that it might have been the 100 Yen store I was seeking. It wasn’t, but it did allow for some interesting comparison shopping to be done – food seemed to cost a little less overall in Japan than in the US, but for some reason boxed hair dye was way more expensive. I wondered if it was because less people in Japan dyed their hair than in the US. I only bought a can of coffee there, having passed up most of the other things as either a little too expensive for what I wanted to buy at the time or, more often, too big for what I could carry, eat, or take back with me.

I set off again, passing a few shops, but mostly restaurants and office buildings. On the way up, I had passed every landmark specifically outlined on the map provided by the hotel – the laundromat, the boxed lunch shop, the convenience store – and yet, even though the relative location between places seemed greater in reality than it did on paper, I began to have the sneaking suspicion that I should have hit the 100 Yen store by now…. Unfortunately not knowing what it was called or what the building looked like, I couldn’t look it up on my Google Map.

As the area started to look less and less…. populated (the shops started being further apart and more suburban than urban, not that it wasn’t populated per se), I turned around and stopped into a pet shop I had passed earlier. I had thought it was funny that while John was going to go combine two things I love (dogs and coffee), I was also combining them. Just… in a slightly more conventional sense than I would have thought I’d do in Japan.

In the pet store, much like the grocery store, I photo’d things that were interesting to me, packaging I liked, and comparisons between the products I’d get in the US and the versions that I could get in Japan including, surprisingly, the exact type of dog food I feed my dog only with a slightly more kawaii packaging.

Before I left, I asked the attractive man behind the desk how to get back to the train station listed on the map from the hotel. I wasn’t sure if I was still going to try for the 100 Yen store or not, but either way, I needed to get back to some place I knew before I could get back to the hotel, reconfigure my stuff (AGAIN), and head to the show. And possibly get something to eat….

On my way back to the train station, I saw a sign plastered to the side of one of the buildings, very visibly reading “DVDS”, “BOOKS”, “MUSIC” in the same big red letters on yellow background you might see on an American going-out-of- business sign. I followed the big red arrow to the shop front, feeling more confident that I was closer to being on my way again than I had been moments before. Maybe this would finally be the place I’d be able to get some Yuri!!! on Ice toys for myself (and as gifts for Risa) or maybe this would be the place I could finally buy some Pokemon things for Kelly since she had given me some money in advance specifically for those.

I looked through the shelves and bins of boxed and loose toys; no Yuri!!!, no Pokemon, but I did find a Freddie Mercury action figure. At around $40, he was one of the cheaper action figures I’d ever seen for Freddie; my favourite being one that topped out between $200 and $400 and featured the multi-talented signer in one of his black and white harlequin outfits. The one I had just found featured the outfit he wore at Queen’s last show at Knebworth Stadium and had an additional face or two that could be swapped out for the one he currently had on. That detail alone seemed like something that would have made Freddie proud to have the figure bear his image, but it was really how well it was rendered that sold the toy for me. I carried him around with me as I checked out the rest of the store looking at the smaller selections of DVDs and CDs and the large library on the other side of the division. (A division that beeped loudly in both directions when I carried the spider wrapped Freddie Mercury over it’s magnetized lines.)

After briefly browsing the selection of manga books, I went up to the checkout desk and using Google Translate, asked the shop lady if the store had anything for Yuri!!! on Ice. She searched in her database and found nothing specifically for Yuri!!!, but went to the DVD section anyway to doublecheck. After the brief, fruitless search, she told me that any figures they might have would be with the open stocked/unboxed figures on the back wall. I went and looked again before bringing up my Freddie and checking out. Before I left, I double checked that I was still on the right path since I had made an unscheduled stop. Initially, I had thought the store was something akin to f.y.e. or Borders (before they closed), but after I got back and showed Miya the receipt, I learned that it was something closer to a Vintage Stock. So not totally wrong, but not the closest.

I would have been find getting around Osaka if one of two things had happened: 1. if my copy of Google Maps updated quicker/more accurately so that I actually knew where I was and what direction I was going at a given time or 2. had there been less streets laid on diagonally. Unfortunately, as both things were out of my control, I ended up getting lost again somehow going in the same wrong direction that I had headed in to accidentally find the pet store.

Recognizing the sight of a large computer retailer not unlike Staples, I chose to get some help again. A sales man came up to me fairly quickly and I asked about how to get to the train station. He pointed me in the direction that I had been heading – that I came from – that I was 95% certain was wrong. I thanked him, went back out to the lobby to buy a bottle of coffee and use the restroom, and left.

Still lost and with a not-firm idea of how to get unlost, I found myself heading in a completely different direction yet again after I had thought I was going the right way. Realizing that I had no fucking clue where I was and that my maps were getting me more lost, not less, I went up to a police officer and, again using Google Translate, asked how to get back to the train station. He gave very loud, but relatively easy to understand instructions that made me appreciate that the urge to speak your own language louder and a little slower to people who don’t understand you isn’t just an annoying American thing.

Not long after and having passed another McDonald’s, I found my way actually at the train station for the first time that day. I entered into the first open air market that I had been to all trip. Unlike the ones that food bloggers and tourists who take conventional tourism trips (and not ones that travel thousands of miles to a foreign country to see a show in their own language…), this one had no noticeable odor of fish. To this day, I’m not sure if that’s something that people actually experience or if it’s a persistent rumor.

Instead, this market seemed to focus more on other foods. There were a couple of little shops/stalls that sold sushi, complete with their own refrigerator units and scales to properly preserve and measure the food; there were more little bakeries, though less fancy than the ones at Shibuchka; there were vendors with fashion-adjacent clothes; there was a stall selling mostly cute toys like you��d expect to see Pokemon things there, but there weren’t; and then there were a couple of booths like the one I finally stopped at: one that sold dried goods like seaweed wrapped rice crackers, coffee flavoured candies, and other shelf stable bulk goods. As funny as it sounds, it was like being home and going to my favourite Asian stores around me.

I picked up a pack of flower shaped seaweed covered rice crackers and a pack of the coffee candies. Now that I was back on track, I wanted to have a little bit of a snack just in case I wasn’t able to have time to stop off and have lunch somewhere. As I was checking out, the vendor and her male associate (possibly husband, possibly someone she had hired) made small talk with me, asking where I was from, what it was like, why I had come to Japan, how I was liking it so far…. They both thought I was very brave for having travelled so far on my own. I was happy with the comment, but like so many other times that people said that to me, I wasn’t fully certain what made taking this trip so brave. Japan wasn’t a dangerous country and it wasn’t all that hard to get around, even if I did have to ask for help a lot, usually people were willing and able to help me get to my next station….

As I was leaving, I asked how to get to the 100 Yen store. Since I was already at the station, I figured why not. Neither the main vendor nor her associate knew, but a man who happened to speak English was standing nearby and he gave me some good directions of how to get to where I wanted to be. I thanked everyone involved for helping, for finding someone who knew exactly where I wanted to go, and for having a pleasant conversation with me and headed on my way. I had barely made it three feet away when I heard someone yell, “Hey, you!”

It was so soft, for a second I thought I had imagined the call. I turned and the man who had given me the directions was making his way over to me like he didn’t want to lose track of me. He offered to show me exactly where I was going since he was headed that way and I accepted. It wasn’t too far away from the market, but for the first time since I left the hotel, I was firmly certain of where I was. I thanked him as he went on his way and slowly made my way up the stairs of the open, yet segmented by floors, building.

There were a few things that I had thought were interesting on the landings -- backpacks, luggage, a couple of sweaters...., but nothing that I was quite willing to pay the still relatively high prices for.

Eventually, I found my way upstairs and in front of a store called Dasico. I took a flyer that upon closer inspection turned out to be a job application and went inside.

I've mentioned before on this blog how much I love dollar stores, I find them very easy to look around and usually good places to try out new things, butt the quality of stuff at a Dasico is much higher than that of a Dollar Tree or a Family General.

I started off in the makeup aisle, looking for the things I'd need to complete my Look on Thursday. Namely, I needed eyeliner, but I also found an eye shadow palette, a few nail appliques, some clips for styling my Hedwig wigs, and other things that would have easily cost eight to twelve times more at the beauty supply shop I used to work for like a kabuki brush.

My hands already full, I moved on to the other aisles, picking up another beauty thing, briefly observing a new girl being trained, finding a Hello Kitty sleep mask.... By the time I made it halfway through the store my hands were so full, I was in danger of dropping my new possessions. A pair of school girls offered me their shopping basket and gratefully, I accepted.

By the end of the trip, I had racked up more than $40 worth of assorted things from beauty to stationary to the odd piece of clothing and had successfully asked a couple of questions (and understood the responses) without the aid of my translator app. A very patient shop girl answered my pointing at things and going “nan des ka?” I happily paid for my items, in cash not card, and started to head back downstairs, but before I got too far, I remembered that I had forgotten one of the things on my list -- hair gel.

I walked back into the store and went up to one of the people, asking if they sold anything that would make my hair stick up complete with gesturing what I had wanted. Together, we found a firm hair wax that should have had enough hold to get the look I wanted; possibly with a couple of applications, but it was what I had to work with (honey.)

I went back downstairs and took a closer look at some of the stores I had passed up on my way to Dasico. One of the levels was akin to a Kohl’s in that they sold a lot of shoes, semi-discounted luggage, sleeping bags, kitchen appliances, and other things you’d expect to find in your average suburban soccer mom’s home. The next level is a bit of a blur to me, something that I either didn’t retain or am misremembering as I had thought Dasico was on the 4th floor, but I can only come up with a brief layout for three....

The ground floor was more like the first two levels of the mall at the Hikarie -- mildly-to-a-lot more pricey than the other levels, but with a more serious attitude to it. Like this was a place you could go to get a suit you’d have tailored somewhere nice, but not quite upperend enough that they’d customize a suit from scratch for you. I bought...less on that level.

I exited that building and, on the recommendation of one of the women on the middle level, went into a shop across the street that specialized in socks. My search for the sexy stockings I had seen on Saturday was proving futile, but I wasn’t quite ready to give up looking. I browsed through the ample selection rejecting potential socks more on price or length than because of their very attractive patterns and textures. Once again, I paid and was on my way to the next stop -- the hotel.

Following the printed map that Hotel Grand Fine had given me the previous night, I realized that I hadn’t come up the right way at all when I went looking for the train station. I wasn’t sure exactly what the issue was yet, only that there was one and that if I could remember these sights for the next few hours, I’d be better off than if I didn’t.

Putting in the hotel as my destination again, I used a combination of Google Maps and printed map to wander back to the hotel. I took more time than I had necessarily wanted to, but I arrived and with the show being at seven that evening, still had four hours to get there (and two, if I wanted to be early.) On my way back, I texted Miya asking for specific translations of a couple of phrases. I had decided that even though I wouldn’t likely get to meet either actor in person and that the drawings weren't finished, I still wanted to try. After all, given that most of my friends at this point had met John, the likely worst response I’d get would be no response. Which is exactly the same thing I’d have if I didn’t try at all.

I retrieved my key from the front desk, went upstairs, quickly changed from my Hedwig Japan t-shirt to my RENT one, and headed out again.

The path to the train station this time was different than it had been this morning -- a sooner turn onto a wide boulevard, a longer straight forward walk before a turn.... I thought I must have missed the train station entrance again since Google Maps can be very imprecise as to where the entrances are... I stopped into a convenience store and asked one of the ladies running it where the stop I was looking for was. She directed me to the woman who ran the shop and knew a little more English than she did and I was pointed in the same direction I had been going, only a few more blocks up.

I thanked them and found the entrance, quickly getting on the first train I needed to go to the show.

As it turned out, that would be one of the last stops I actually fully understood how to get from point A (the station) to point B (the next station.) The one I arrived at had far less clear signage. I ended up asking a janitor how to get to the platform my paperwork indicated I needed. She brought me up to the station master, who printed me another set of maps, which provided me with yet another set of directions on how to get where I was going. So far, four people, four sets of directions, and a very, very confused Hansel.

After what felt like a lifetime, probably mine, I was on the right path again. At least for a little while. At the next station, I was faced with the same problem I had had in Tokyo - two platforms that left from the same level, but across from each other, were called the same thing. I hopped on one, put the Osaka-jo Hall into my maps app, and waited to see what happened next. The next station listed was wrong, which I found out pretty immediately, but Google Maps had been wrong before on that front; usually not showing a “smaller” stop along the way of the one I actually needed to go to. I zoomed out to see what direction my blue indicator dot was going in relation to the map and sure enough, it was the exact wrong way. I set an alarm for the time the show was supposed to start labeled ‘You’ve Missed the Show’ because at this point, it felt like I wouldn’t get there until 8. At the next station, I hopped off and then hopped onto the correct train, going past my origin spot and then arriving at the next station.

The next station might have been the entirety of Utah, it was so big. I followed the signs as far as I could before stopping to ask someone where I should be going. He pointed me underground and said to follow the green signs for the JR Line since that’s the one I’d be taking to Osaka-jo and that it might be a lot of walking, but to keep following the signs. So I did and after passing two McDonald’s, a couple of convenience stores, and more people than I’d see in an average week, I finally found the stop I needed. I wondered, not for the first time, if there was another train that might have taken me closer to my next stop.

The train arrived and I felt like I had finally reached where I was supposed to be. The signage said something along the lines of Osaka-jo Square and after heading towards the signs that pointed in the direction of Osaka-jo Hall, I started hearing a person over a loud speaker directing members of the crowd there to see Hedwig to go a specific direction. I knew enough Japanese to be certain that this was about Hedwig and that it wasn’t a misunderstanding on my part so I followed the signs and the speakers to what appeared to be a large, possibly outdoors, stadium. Seeing the size of it, I was all the more glad that Miya had managed to upgrade my ticket from second balcony, Row M to the first floor.

I confidentially walked up the two or more flights of sturdy bleach-white stone and handed my ticket over to the man taking tickets. He looked at it and said “Standard ticket?” “Hai.” “You need to be...over there.” and pointed vaguely in the direction I had come from.

I thought perhaps I had gone too far around the building in my search for a small line and so passing back around the trailers and buses that had brought the equipment from Tokyo to Osaka, I went more towards the front of the arena and showed my ticket off again to a different man directing foot traffic. He told me that yes, I was at Osaka-jo and yes, there would be a version of Hedwig viewable here, but where I needed to be was NHK Osaka Hall, the public broadcaster, as that’s where the actual performance would be. In that moment, I remembered vaguely Miya forewarning me that there were two different places called Osaka Hall and that I needed to be careful which one I went to.

I asked how far I was from where I needed to be and by foot, I was still twenty minutes away. I looked at my phone for the time. I still had a little over an hour and a half to get there, but given my luck? And how quickly I’d been getting places? I hailed a taxi.

The taxi driver was almost as confused as everyone else had been along the way about which Osaka Hall I needed to be at, but after a few moments, we understood each other and were on our way. It was maybe a five minute drive from Osaka-jo Hall to NHK and cost close to $10, but the expense was worth the sudden certainty that I was actually back on track. Seeing a slew of other Hedheads there certainly confirmed this.

I got into the ever expanding line, my heart beating out of my chest like it hadn’t since the last time I saw Hedwig, but worse. What if I showed the drawings to the usher and she wanted me to come back stage? What would I even say? Would I actually be able to manage words or would it be like the time I briefly met Anthony Rapp and was only able to smile and nod along to what my mother said I had liked about his career? And why hadn’t they opened the doors? It was time, wasn’t it?

In my attempt to not fidget too hard while waiting in line, I took off my sweater and redrew the silver and gold Hedwig temporary tattoo that I had done for the last show in Tokyo. Last show in Tokyo, last show in Japan for 2017, what really was the difference?

Not for the first time since arriving in Japan, I started to sort of regret not dressing up more. Not cosplaying the show like I had thought I was going to for two years before I actually had the chance to see it live. Of course, so many of the cosplayers here had much better costumes than the ones I had thus far been able to put together, but should I have tried harder? In the back of my mind, I remembered that part of the reason for not cosplaying was that I wanted to meet John as a version of myself and not a version of Hedwig. He’d met thousands of Hedwigs, and Yitzhaks, but tended to remember meeting people outside of their makeup more. And the other reason was that I wasn’t sure I’d want the attention it would attract being one of the taller people in the crowd to begin with and then wearing Hedwig’s tall red boots from Tear Me Down or her black ones from The Origin of Love and Angry Inch.

I took out my ticket for the fourth or fifth time that day, reconfirming that I did in fact still have it, that it did look like a real ticket and that someone hadn’t tried to pull the wool over Miya, or my, eyes.

And eventually, late compared to the Tokyo shows, the doors opened to allow the crowd to enter.

I picked up more flyers for HtTtGaP, placing them carefully with the other flyers handed out by the theater in my bag before heading to the bathroom to compose myself again.

I found my seat by myself, which considering my absolute failure at finding things earlier in the day seemed like an important enough victory. And then moments later, I found it again when it occurred to me that I had chosen a seat too far back and that I actually should be about five rows ahead of where I was presently seated.

I played around on my phone for a few minutes trying to decide whether or not I actually wanted to give over the drawings that I had worked on the last time two years ago and hadn’t ever finished. The ones that I had been planning on finishing, putting on a t-shirt or two, and wearing to the National Tour had John or one of the other Hedwigs I had loved from Broadway been performing. The ones that before printing on a spur of the moment, “oh look, I have these to go along with the other Hedwig drawing I’ve done,” had forgotten about almost completely in the excitement of actually Going and seeing John as Hedwig.

I pulled out the small spiral notebook that I had brought with me to the theatre and a purple pen. It took me two tries to get his name to be actually legible, but a note was written (in English, with his name in Japanese written along side his name in English.) Afterwards, I quickly translated and copied a note to Ataru basically saying that I thought her performance was incredible and that it was such a pleasure being able to see her these past few times in Japan. Later, when I showed the pictures I had taken of the notes to Miya, she said the version of ‘perform’ that I had used was more like the one an instructor might have used with Ataru than a regular fan, but that it should show between her note and John’s that I wasn’t a native speaker and simply meant to give a compliment to her.

I stood up and very nervously headed towards one of the ushers at the back of the venue. It looked to me more like my high school’s (very nice) performance auditorium than one that I would expect to see what’s basically a rock concert in. It honestly looked more like the sort of concert hall you’d see on PBS while watching a performance of a modern composer than one that you’d expect to see Blondie or The Ramones at.

I tried to explain what my intentions were with handing her the papers and the usher immediately goes ‘Ah! Giftu?’ which I assumed (and later confirmed) did mean gift. I showed her the notes and said that all of the drawings went to John and that Ataru’s note went to Ataru. I figured if John wanted to give her the Yitzhak one, that would be amazing, but I wanted him to see all three of them before they were given to the people actually playing the characters. She asked for my name and I pointed to where I had signed on John’s note ‘H. Smyth.’ It hadn’t occurred to me when I picked the name how semi-awkward it might be to actually introduce myself to John as ‘Hansel’. So for now.... I was ‘H. Smyth’, the name I thought I might go back one of these days and publish under.

I went back to my seat and was somehow more nervous than before I had given over the notes and the drawings. What if John wanted to have me thrown out for some reason? Or what if I had broken some unspoken rule by mentioning in my note that I had thought it was kind of funny that I had drawn these given that Hedwig’s opening costume had a gold Hello Kitty silhouette on her ass.

The show was later starting than any of the other ones thus far had been, going past the unedited, album version of Light My Fire and completely through one or two songs after it. I worried that maybe I had had something to do with delaying the show. Ridiculous, of course, but sometimes one likes to overestimate one’s importance to the world. A practice that is ironically very Hedwig in it’s execution....

The show, of course, still happened and was performed beautifully. Like I’d remark to Miya and Risa the next day, not once in five performances did John get the words to Wig in a Box correct and on most shows flubbed one or two of the other songs as well, but I didn’t care. The audience didn’t care. All that mattered was the energy in the room (which was amazing) and that the performers seemed to be enjoying themselves as much as the audience. My seat allowed me to see Ataru’s final outfit even closer than I had been able to on Saturday night because of where the venue doors were in relation. And that night provided more opportunities for improvs than on any of the other shows; one that basically involved John forgetting his line and Ataru improving spitting water in his face. (His reaction was hilarious and got them back exactly where they needed to be in terms of the script.)

Once again, Hedwig said ‘then love the front of me’ to Tommy with a delivery that would have made you think it was always there. And at the end of the show, they did the End of Love again, but this time slower since John’s voice was a little sore from performing so much lately. Slightly slowed down, it was still a wonderful song. And as John had recently announced it as a podcast, possibly one of the few times it would be performed live. After the song, John gave his final remarks, as usual, thanked the band and Ataru, his other half for these performances, asked if she had anything specifically that she wanted to say and then went into fully thanking everyone involved with the production including the director, the translator for the show, the translators for him in and around Japan, the artists involved with painting Hedwig’s capes, the animators for the new Origin of Love sequence, the costumers, and finally the people who helped him with his tuck. I was one of the few people who had laughed when John said that in English and one of the many who laughed when Ataru translated it moments later. It was a funny thing to have thanked someone for and made funnier by the just adorable way he said it. Cait and I agreed later when I told her about that moment that it was one of the things that made him so charming and reminded us both of David Bowie.

That alone was the moment I was still laughing about, standing outside the theatre part of the venue, and texting when I met a musician from Japan. He asked a little about my trip, how I had enjoyed it so far, why I had come over. I told him I was from Kansas City and he mentioned having been there with his band about a year ago. He asked if I had stopped off in his hometown and I said no, that because the bus ride was so long to get from Tokyo, I hadn’t had a chance to, but possibly the next time I came to Japan I would. And I truly meant it because despite having gotten significantly lost, I had enjoyed Japan immensely and even then wanted to visit again sometime when I had the time to be a little more prepared in my planning, possibly having learned more Japanese and definitely having pre-walked the majority of the streets I’d be travelling on. He and I chatted for a bit before walking out of the venue with his disinterested girlfriend hurrying him along.

The lobby that had been home to a few food court type options, had completely closed down. The only indicator that something had happened there that night being the few dozen people still milling about and the lights still being on in the main areas.

I walked out onto the street, headed in the direction of the train station to Hotel Grand Fine, and as I walked by NHK, blew a quick kiss up to the upper levels before seeking out food places in Google Maps.

I settled quickly on a soba noodles place. Miya had mentioned having them with her family a few days or weeks before I had come over and I couldn’t remember based on the name whether or not I’d ever had them. It was taking forever to find the restaurant that was allegedly so close to where I needed to be that I stopped into a 7/11, not having given up, but wanting to have at least something since I was quickly remembering that I hadn’t eaten anything all day. I picked out a few snacks and another cold coffee drink before buying two pork skewers at the front of the shop. The consistency in American convenience stores was something I found equally consistent here with the skewers tasting exactly like the one I had had the previous day before getting on the bus to Osaka, but without the other chicken thing that I had accidentally ordered first.

Newly fed, I headed out towards where the noodle place should have been again. And again, finding something else to eat instead.

The restaurant had a visual menu for their food as a window cling near the entrance to the shop. I took a photo of what I wanted and headed inside. The man behind the bar indicated that I could sit anywhere and I chose a spot towards the back, texting and going over the next day’s plans both as I waited for my food and as I ate.

I had finished maybe half of the food when they started to close up. I asked for a box and after another eternity spent trying to translate, gesture, pantomime, and otherwise indicate that I wanted to take the remainder of the food with me, was given one. I paid, left, and headed back to the hotel where I ordered another set of fries and cereal as I started to repack my bag to get ready to go. Afterwards, I took a quick shower and bath, having to cut down my enjoyment of the tub by at least half so that I would be semi-well rested for the return trip to Tokyo.

I set my alarm and went to sleep, both very happy with my trip so far and a little melancholy that this would be the last time this year that I’d see Hedwig performed live.bs

#travel diary #travel diary japan #japan day 7

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thoughtsicantshare · 7 years

Text

5/10/17

Although I just posted something, it was from a while ago. So, I have A TON, literally so much, to tell you.

Let’s start with the easiest: School. I still really love school. We ended May 3rd. History this semester kicked my ass big time, even though it was just a stupid gen. ed. But overall, I did really well. I got all As and my GPA is still a 3.98. Next semester I have some really interesting classes so I’m very excited for it. Still, I have no problem letting these next couple of summer months drag a bit. Work: I hate this place almost as much as I hate my high school-- and that is saying something big. We have next to know one bc everyone quit. We’re all doing WAY more than what our job titles entail and getting paid nothing. I’ve hit the point where idc anymore. I’m not going to continue scrambling and doing way more than my fair share bc no one cares, no one is even watching us, and I saw my pay check this week and it is nothing what is should be for how much work I’ve been doing.

I’m in the slow process of trying to find a new job, but it’s really hard. I love meeting people, and got really lucky with this job. The customer service is incredible at my store, and my customers as some of the sweetest people. However, retail just is not what I want to do now or ever. This is NOT my life and will never be my life.

Myself: In a recent post, I think I was really hard on myself and I think its was talking a lot about how I hated everything about me. I still am very unhappy with my weight. I let myself go really bad this time. I hate the way my clothes are fitting, I hate the way I look, and its all my fault. I have no self control- I eat what I want, when I want and don’t care. I finally started going to the gym again and it feels really good. I just need to keep a routine and actually start eating better. Boys: This is where shit hits the fan. I am more confused than ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don’t remember where I left off with the kid I like, but wow lots has happened.

I’ll start where shit hit the fan. So, for a little while I was thinking I still had a chance w him maybe. My two girl friends also did too, and I promise not in the annoying they’re supportive and positive only because they’re my friends way, but in the there were signs that he did like me way. On a tuesday night, the night before my major history midterm, me and my friend Tyiana stayed in the library to study (This exam was horrible!! I studied for days, made a like 20 page study guide and wanted to cry all the time. That night, we had studied for HOURS. Towards the end of the night, the guy I liked had come to the library to tutor some girl in his class. I obviously was jealous. When he was finished tutoring, he came and sat with me, Tyiana and her bf. He convinced me to finally stop studying around 10. I was just gunna go home, but when he was driving me to my car, I mentioned I really wanted McDonalds and he said ok let’s go. When we were driving, he told me he had a gf. My heart broke. I had NO IDEA he was even talking to someone. It took so much of me not to cry when he told me, but I played it as cool as I could. After I thought about it for a while, I tried to stay positive. I figured this would be good for him. If he’s happy, then I want him to be happy. If she makes him happy, then he should be with her. I also figured it this way- he can finally mature. Although I like him, he can be pretty selfish. Maybe this relationship could help him mature- he could finally lean to put someone before himself, to care for someone else’s feelings and needs before his own, to learn to really think about and care for others. And this way, if we ever go together, we could both be on the same page. It is important to note that on this car ride he specifically said, “I think I have a gf. Oh my god I think I have a gf now, idk I’ve never been in a real relationship before” Of course, this may be me just over analyzing it, but he wasn’t even sure if they were a couple, but he seemed set that the prospect was high. ALSO, he absolutely refused to answer the question “do you have feelings for her?” I asked him multiple times that night, but he either said “I don't want to talk about it” or “ stop asking me” This is weird right?!!?

After learning this info, I knew I had to move on. There was no point in continuing my crush bc he was with someone else, not me. There was no chance of him liking me now. I’d like to say that I was actually getting over him. It was extremely hard, but I was somehow managing it. I was thinking about him CONSTANTLY. I always wanted to be with him, talk to him, or whatever. He was just always on my mind. Then I eventually stopped thinking about him as much--I’d be lying if I said completely. But really, I wasn’t always wanting to talk to him, I didn’t care as much if took a longer to answer my text, I wasn’t always wondering where he was or what he was doing (please know that I mean that in the least creepy was possible).

And Now this is where things get really fucked up. and confusing. and frustrating. and down right annoying.

Not long after telling me he had a gf, he became extremely flirty with me. At first, it was just little things, but then it became very straight forward. He would literally straight up talk about how he wants to have sex with me. And every time, I bring up his gf. I’ll describe a few of the times that really stuck out:

1. One day, I was leaving school a little later than usually and we bumped into each other. We started talking, but he had somewhere he wanted to go so I didn’t think we’d talk long. We ended up hanging out for a couple of hours. Major event of this hangout:

Early that day, I saw him before class and he stressed that I looked really good in my dress.

This was the first and only other time (besides the car ride) I heard him call the girl his gf. Still to this day, weeks later, he won’t call her that.

He again refused to answer the question “do you have feelings for her?”

He showed me a gift she got him. He had it buried under a bunch of stuff in the hidden compartment of his trunk. He commented on how he hated it and thought it was stupid

Two people had called us bf/gf this day. and she I tried to deny it, he pretended we were dating

He CONSTANTLY talked about us dating. A few times I told him we could never be because we had suck different tastes in music, movies, and a bunch of other stuff and he got upset. Finally, when we both agreed on 1 movie we liked he goes “So can we date now? We both like that 1 movie. That’s something we have in common”

I told him that if any guy from campus asked if I was single, he should say yes and tell the kid to take me on a picnic bc thats my dream date. He told me that he would tell them I wasn’t single bc I was dating him. He later randomly was like “what are you doing saturday” and I was like “idk I think I’m working all day” and in a sad voice he was like “oh man are you really working all day?” and I said “yeah I go in at 2 and stay till 10, why?” and he was like “ Oh I was gunna take you out on that picnic date you want to go on”

But yeah, the ENTIRE time he just kept talking about how he wanted us to be together, and how we should and would date. He also mentioned that at some point me and him would have sex. To which I brought up, just about every time, that his gf wouldn’t really approve of that. **side note: us having ex has always been a joke bt us. We’ve both kinda always joked that we would at some point have sex**

2. This story is funny-- So one day I was walking to class and bumped into him. He asked where I was going, and I said I had class in 10 mins. So the conversation went:

Him: “perfect come with me”

Me: “ugh where are we going”

Him: “to my car”

Me, in an extremely flirty way: “Oh, your car? What are you going to do to me in your car”

(side note, one of the big jokes we have bt us is that we’re gunna have sex in either mine or his car. It started with my old car bc it was huge and had lots of space in the back, so he always said he wanted to fuck me in it.)

Him with a big smile and a wink: “Oh okay Alisa, I like the way you think”

So the convo continued on to just a little about what we did that day and then:

Him “you know one day it’ll happen”

Me: “what will happen?”

Him: “us. I can picture it- one day were gunna be hanging out really late at night and will be a little drunk and were just gunna do it”

Me, laughing but intrigued: “no. nothing is going to happen”

Him: “what why not? I can picture it”

Me: “well for one, I don’t drink so you won’t get me drunk. two, we never hang out late at night so that also poses a problem”

Him: “no i can picture it, it’ll happen”

He ended up walking me to class, on the opposite side of the building he needed to go to and more banter went on. I joked that I’d skip class to have sex w him if he wanted to and he just smiled so big.

3. The phone call. We usually call each other when we want to see what the other is doing to hang out. So, I was in the store one night and he called me to hang out. He had just gotten off of work and was going to stop by and visit me at my job. He didn’t know that I actually had off that night. This phone call was filled with nothing but him being extremely blunt that he wanted so badly to have sex w me. Highlights from the call:

It was his first day of work at this new job. He had just gotten off and wanted to come see me at my job. Mind you, his gf lives close to his job. His gf could have sex w him then and there, but I would’ve been at work. I also wouldn’t have had sex w him bc of the whole gf situation. BUT he still chose to see me

I mentioned all that to him and he just shrugged it off and said he wanted to hang out with me.

I asked him to go to my house and wait bc I’ll be home in 10 mins. He was like oh but if I go to your house I’ll have to meet your parents and what if they don’t like me? I can’t handle that. I told him that he wouldn’t have to go in and meet them, he just had to wait for me outside, and that who cares what they think he isn’t my bf so they don’t have to approve of him. He then responded but I am your bf, we’re together. They have to like me

He repeatedly told me he wanted to have sex

He again described that he has been thinking about the night we’re going to have sex. Again, he said we’d be hanging out really late at night and we’d be a little drunk and we were just going to do it. He said it would be great and he was excited for it to happen

I told him that I was very intrigued that he again had been picturing us having sex

On multiple occasions, he mentioned that we were dating and that I was his gf. I played along only one time and called him my bf, and he was happy when I did

I also brought up his gf a lot. I asked how she’d feel if she heard our conversations and all that stuff. He told me if she ever said anything to me, he would drop her in a heart beat

he got offended that he had told me multiple times that he wanted to have sex with me, but I never said it back to him

he said very boldly, bluntly, and seriously: “Alisa. I. want. to. fuck. you.”

when I told him that I would have sex with him, he was SO happy and was like “ok this is great. I’m hanging up now bc I want this to end on a great note”

4. Hanging out with Julia. One day he came and hung out with me and Julia for a little while. I had been having a really bad week and just wanted to hang out w him and laugh. But he was also in a weird mood so he was’t being fun.

The day before this, a kid had asked me for my number. I knew it didn’t mean anything, we had been friends for a little while bc we had a class together last semester, but I wanted to make is seem bigger in front of the kid I like

So I was like: “Oh Julia listen to this, a kid asked me for my number... I hope it goes somewhere because I have nothing else going on for me”

Him: “woah, what about me. you have me going on.”

Me: “Actually, you have a gf, until she is out of the picture, we are nothing”

I didn’t think he’d talk about us being together or having sex in front of Julia bc he does’t do it in front of our guy friends, but he did. Later, this happened:

Him: “but wouldn’t you want to be with me?”

Me: “yeah, but like I said, you have a gf. I’m not getting w you while she’s in the picture. that’s wrong. If you really want me, break up w her and we’ll talk”

Him: “are you for real? if i break up with her, we can get together?”

Me: “yeah dude, I’ve told you that before”

Him: “ok I’m calling her now.”

And he actually went to call her to break up with her, but I stopped him. I wasn’t going to let him break up w his gf bc I told him that I’d have sex with him. If we were going to get together or be together, then it would have to be because he actually wants to be with me, not because I would have sex with him.

There’s SOOOOO much more, but it’s 1 AM and I have so much to do tomorrow so I have to try to fall asleep. I’ll write more tomorrow, because there is more annoying shit to talk about. These were only a few of the juicy stories! Peace and blessings for tonight! (:

#journal

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surveyjunkie · 7 years

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1. Are you more likely to “suck it up” when something is difficult or to give up? Usually I suck it up, that’s what I’ve always had to do so I’m used to it

2. What was your very first day of your very first job like? What’d you do? How long did it take you to get the hang of it, and feel comfortable with working? It was definitely weird and awkward. I worked at Potbelly’s. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to be doing, and when I found out that they only hired me to mop the floors and clean the bathrooms, I got the fuck out of there real fast and started working in retail instead. So I never actually got the hang of it.

3. If you have a dog, are they friendly to strangers or other dogs? He’s friendly with other dogs and cautious of strangers. He’s very protective of me so if he doesn’t have a good feeling about somebody I bring around him he’ll avoid them or growl until he gets used to them. On the other hand, if he does have a good feeling (senses they’re a dog person) then he’ll cuddle up against them and lick them like crazy.

4. Whether you like it or not, do you tend to get into drama with girls? Or do you just let that stuff roll right off your back and have nothing to do with it? I literally avoid drama like the plague now. When I was in high school and college, drama tended to follow me wherever I went. Now that I don’t have many friends any more, it’s drama free, and honestly I wouldn’t have it any other way. Life is so simple now.

5. Do people ever comment on or joke about your driving? Yes, well, they used to when I was a shitty driver. I was actually almost voted “worst driver” of my senior class in high school. With all the driving I’ve had to do in the past couple of years I’ve gotten a lot better, so the only thing that was mentioned recently (by my boyfriend) is that I drive on people’s asses. I didn’t know I did that!

6. What was something little that made you smile or cheer up today? The fact that none of my co-workers are in the office today :) It’s so quiet and peaceful and I can literally work on whatever I want. It’s great.

7. Would you say that the people you hang out with most are kind of weird or unique? Or do you think they’re just regular chill people? I have weird friends and I have regular chill friends. It’s a good mixture.

8. Have you ever had absinthe? Maybe once or twice

9. Have you ever been accused of trying to steal someone’s significant other? Were you trying to? No, but I’ve gotten nasty messages from people’s exes/former hook ups. Like dude, get over it. You don’t even know me.

10. Have you ever resented someone for something that is out of their control? Has this ever happened to you? No

11. Was there anything that you thought would never happen to you, but it did? Yes

12. Do you tend to try to avoid drama or do you kind of like a life filled with drama? You asked this before, I avoid drama like the plague, by keeping my circle of friends as small as possible and being as introverted as possible.

13. Do people often describe you as a sweetheart? Or maybe there`s another word people are always calling you? My boyfriend does, and maybe a couple of other people have. Usually people use the words “nice, quiet, pleasant”. So that’s cool.

14. What was the last thing to move you? Are you easily moved or inspired? Sometimes, especially when I read those “Humans of New York” stories. I can’t remember the last specific thing that moved me, though.

15. If you`ve ever seen your very favorite band, did you cry when you saw them? Was it like a dream come true? If you`ve never seen them, do you think you would? Yeah, I cried when I saw My Chemical Romance for the first time. They’re not my very favorite, but they were one my favorites when I was in middle school, and seeing them live a couple of years ago just brought back so many memories. I also almost cried during The Academy Is.. at riot fest two years ago. Another of my middle school favorites that brought back memories.

16. If you write stories, have you ever come across a person in real life who looked weirdly similar to one of your characters? Or maybe acted just like them? No, I haven’t written a story with an in depth character description yet.

17. What is something a girl you`ve just met/seen can do to make you instantly dislike her? What about a boy? With girls, if they come off as fake then I instantly dislike them, with boys, if they’re rude or cocky.

18. Is it hard for you to get along with people that have different opinions than you? Or can you ignore all of that stuff and be friends with just about anyone? No, I’m not going to stop being friends with somebody just because their views are different. I might look at them differently, but it wouldn’t affect the relationship I have with them.

19. When you get fast food are you ever rude and impatient? Not unless they’re rude to me first, I had a lady throw a McDonalds bag at me and shut the drive-thru window without saying anything after I had to wait over 20 minutes to get my food because they got they screwed up my receipt twice. No apology, nothing. And I didn’t complain or bitch to them either, I just simply pointed out that they got my order wrong, and they had an attitude with me about it. So, yeah, if they’re rude to me for no reason, I’m going to be rude back.

20. What is something you can do to calm yourself if you’re nervous? Is there anything you do to boost your confidence when you need it? I usually talk to someone to try and distract myself, but it doesn’t work very well.

21. Do you have any of those Jac Vanek bracelets? How about any friendship bracelets? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of those. I don’t have any friendship bracelets either.

22. Have you ever said you were going to become a gypsy? Have you ever thought about it? No.

23. How do you let go of petty things that are bothering you? Is it easy for you to let things like being insulted by a stranger go? It’s very easy for people to get under my skin. Like I mentioned earlier about the McDonald’s drive thru experience, I never forget about people who are rude to me, and especially people who insult me. I take that to the grave.

24. Of all the reality competitions you’ve watched, who are some of your all time favorite contestants and what shows were they from? Hahaha remember Becky Buckwild from Flavor of Love? What a trip. I also had a couple of favorite contestants from America’s Next Top Model, but I can’t remember their names.

25. Do you like to read/hear spoilers about your favorite shows or new movies? Or would you rather know nothing until you actually saw the show/movie? Um, fuck that! Why would I want them ruined for me if I’m interested in watching them?

#survey #surveys

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