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#and he literally doesnt know!!! you were right baby!!! theres nothing to apologize for!!! hes lying to you!!!
di-girls-dem-sugar · 2 years
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walter white should be tried for crimes against humanity at the hague for the way he manipulates jesse
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wickedpact · 3 years
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You can't just drop that "I read Forces Multiplied" bomb on us and not give a ten page written reaction.
[cracks knuckles] if u insist
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nicky cant drive hc: destroyed. rip. also i loved how andy and nile stole those sports cars and were being badass and driving off the bridge & meanwhile joe and nicky were just absolutely vibing in the van
'heres the thing about power: people who have it think they deserve it' [shot of police car] i see u greg
5 whole panels being dedicated to booker not being able to unlock his door. booker not even seeing noriko sitting RIGHT THERE in the window at first. incredible
noriko being 24/7 horny was surprising. like wow all of the stuff i saw she did out of context was 100% equally horny in context as it was out of context. love that for her
i didnt think the 'andy + slavery' thing was handled as badly as everyone made it out to be when telling me about it. tho from the way it was talked about i had kind of figured the conflict between andy and nile re: slavery would be really racially charged (esp considering nile is a black american and would obvs have Thoughts on the subject in that regard) but like,, done in a cringey 'a-white-guy-obviously-wrote-it' kind of way? but it wasnt that. i mean. it makes sense that andy would be implicit in slavery through the years
i mean, like she says, is that not what people just did to each other in the aftermath of battles for thousands of years? and i really like how its pointed out that it was what she was raised with (in the beginning when you see her put shackles on that guy after the battle) but she also accepts responsibility for it and acknowledges that it was wrong and not just 'what people did'.
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i like how from her expressions you can kind of tell baby andy knew it was off but she sets those feelings aside bc she felt angry. it explains how she felt but didnt make her out to be blameless in it. plus i mean. i dont know, the fact that andy was involved in a lot of morally shady stuff for 7000 years is not that wild for me. if you live that long youre just Going to be involved in some shit, and she didnt even have other immortals with her as positive community influences, she literally just did whatever the fuck she wanted for thousands of years
'i was worshipped as a god once' i mean, yeah no shit she wouldve been involved in some seriously fucked up stuff, gods were fucking scary back in the day
tldr it could use some polish but it wasnt that bad
tho everything people said about moose being boring was unfortunately a little true. sorry king i tried to be interested in you
joe and nicky writing verbal fanfiction about nile and moose was iconic. 'you seeing that?' 'i am definitely seeing that'
it was also extremely funny bc that was like 60% of their contribution to the whole comic, besides kidnapping copley. they came, they wrote some fanfic, they left. kings. at least in tog1 they had an excuse to be useless bc they got kidnapped
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joe just found out his old friend who he thought was dead is alive (and also probably wants to murder them) and instead of investigating with andy he stopped to help nile up. champ.
nicky shooting noriko through andy was cool. rip to the concept since it wont happen in tog2
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wanna see mr ejiofor deliver this line
on that note imo copley was. weirdly enough, more interesting in fm than in tog1. to me at least. the fact that andy let him live and he was so haunted by what had happened that he came back and sought them out despite knowing they would likely kill him for it bc he wanted to not only make up for what hed done but also to tell them what theyd done for the world was admittedly more interesting than andy just kind of drafting him to the cause and him going 'okie'
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i like how nicky was drawn in this one. in opening fire he looks like a blob man but in fm he looks more like a very nice grampa with a very good dye job
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'theres no pain like a broken heart' andy 🥺
noriko implying andy's never drowned. .. .idk about that one, she musta drowned sometime
joe and nicky came, they waxed poetic about nile's love life, they waxed poetic about grog, and then they left.
sports bras being a reason humanity is good. i mean..... okay, yeah.
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i mean. wild but you cant exactly tell her shes wrong
i liked how noriko telling andy that their purpose is to make people suffer coincides with joe and nicky finding out that they actually did good all those years
joenicky in opening fire: jail for booker jail for booker for 100 years
joenicky when copley tells them he knows where booker is: WE'LL KILL YOU WHERE IS HE
joenicky when copley comes back: if your vibes come off as even remotely rancid we Will destroy you
joenicky 2 minutes later when copley helped them find booker: he made up some ground :)))) <3 lov you j cops
theyre forgiving af
moose: how old are you?? a hundred??? a thousand???
nile [vine voice]: I M 2 7 ?
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alright andy you got me there
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joe texts like my aunt
i dont know why noriko drowning andy in that car tickled me. Bad And Naughty Andromaches Get Put In The Pear Wiggler To Atone For Their Crimes.
the drowning sequence was cool
copley trying to talk to andy while she was like o_o at him was great
ive hit the picture limit but id seen that panel where nicky goes 'forgive me' as he kills a guy out of context and it was HILARIOUSLY anticlimactic for me to discover that there was literally no context to it. nicky just apologizes to random people he kills. i thought that guy was someone he knew or something. nope its just Some Guy that nicky didnt know from adam
nile's complaint that andy was especially brutal to the guys on the boat... i mean. . , how exactly does one kill a man with an axe and not be brutal about it?
it was funny how noriko kissed andy and the only people who seemed surprised by that were nile and also andy
nicky and joe's complete non-reaction to finding out noriko is alive And Evil Now is endlesly funny. they just left her on that boat and neither cared. i get book and nile not caring but joe and nicky knew her, and they just have 0 input on the subject of what to do with her
pinstripe suit guy!
joe and nicky and booker packing up and leaving with nile
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andy blowing up at nile was A Moment tho
i dont know, i get why people didnt like the ending but its. .. . it makes more sense in the comicverse. bc the squad doesnt really. .. interact outside of jobs? i mean, think of the moon landing story in ttt. that was booker and joe and nicky doing a job and andy only showed up a for a couple minutes after it was done. or the brunch in the first issue of opening fire. the squad arent as tight in the comic, and andy often seems to do her own thing outside of work, so andy saying 'i dont want to do work anymore' and the squad being like 'alright bye then' makes more sense in this universe than the movie one
also i feel like greg was Trying to set up a thing where nile becomes the Leader of The Squad after andy dies but like. its not very well done since. . . i mean, nile hasnt spoken to booker since opening fire, (and she only knew him A Day). and shes known joe and nicky all that time, but there isnt really anything that indicates that they have any relationship at all, much less one that's grown. in all the comicverse the only time nile and nicky speak is in FM, and in that scene nicky tells nile about noriko. nile goes from someone who needs to be set aside to have background knowledge explained to her to being the Leader of the group with nothing in between. it kind of... comes out of nowhere.
on the other hand tho... i felt really bad for andy thru the whole thing. well, i always felt bad for andy, but in this one she seemed so miserable, especially since it really felt like none of the others actually.... cared about her. when noriko came back no one asked andy how she was doing (big question ik, but it wouldve showed they cared at least), nobody ever expressed any concern for her, no one even really seemed to want to be around her. in opening fire everyone was more distant than in the movie of course, but there were little moments where she would joke with joe, or nicky would try and comfort her, or stuff like that, but in FM it really felt like they just didnt really care about her. & in opening fire it felt a lot like andy's relationship with nile breathed some new life into her, but in FM it felt like all they did was argue. i get theyre not *as* close in the comics but it really felt like the only person who cared about andy at all was noriko (which was probably also how andy felt) but it just seemed to come out of nowhere. honestly i was reading and i was honestly agreeing with andy that she might just be better off if she did just die. opening fire, on the other hand, never make me feel that way
tho everyone made it sound like when the squad split up it was one of those cursed 'the found family leaves each other at the end of the journey' tropes. but guys i mean,,, this is the second installment out of three. that isnt the End. theyll come back in the third one and Dramatically Reunite to fight some baddies (probably those 'others' noriko mentioned). im guessing yitzhak fits into that too somehow.
anyways it wasnt That Bad but it made me kind of sad and the only Sweet Found Family vibes in it were when they saved booker. also they shouldve beefed up that nilemoose romance, it underwhelmed me. 6.5/10
i also ABSOLUTELY understand all of greg's comments about how you couldnt make FM directly into a movie, he always said that it had no plot and. i get it now. it really didnt have a plot sdfghjkl
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startwithbrooklyn · 3 years
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THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / OCTOBER 3, 2019 // the trial
(TW SUICIDE)
it's the reveal!!!! love that for her hope shes thriving (shes not) again w the two minutes of the next episode to sync the dates
-lmaoooo so i honestly wonder why they went for the full pulling-it-out-the-throat thing but idk (an interesting foil to her getting sick for more stereotypical reasons ie s2 "people find out theyre grandparents every day"
-I LOVE THIS GEORGE HAIR
-"i'd do anything for nancy" okay but....why 👀bit of an odd reaction imo
-bess with spilling the truth again 😂and gets shot down. tragic #shetried
-wait sooooo nobody tested the fingerprints on the knife when this shit happened?? or that tech didnt exist in 2000? i mean without a body how could they even call it murder? and who told the police?? like if the drews took the baby, the dress, and said nothing, who tells the cops shes missing or even dead? how did they know to search the bluffs? who told the media/public? it had to have happened that same night because ryan said when he got there later there were already rumors she was killed. after the baby and bloody dress, only her crown, a knife, and tire tracks were left. how did anyone find anything at this remote bluff without some kind of tip off? and why on earth would they think murder and not suicide with so little evidence?? thats gotta be like suicide central, sorry for the trigger
-"a little help, lucy?!" lucy seems unable to disobey a direct request from nancy (ie "lucy, stop" from later in the ep) when nancy speaks directly to her. so maybe if nancy had spoken aloud/engaged more lucy could have appeared more? nancy said she only comes around when she wants to but what if nancy herself could do a bit more, being the last thing lucy touched and all
-so in ep 2 when nancys in jail carson says "great grandma rosalind buried her valuables in the trunk" including the knives shown here. did carson and kates families even know about nancy? how did they explain not announcing a pregnancy or birth?
-"oh." john lmfaoooo
-BESS lmaoooo and ace's looks in the background and then at seeing nick approaching lmfaooo oh no / also why on earth is she apologizing?? he dumped her but she has to be sorry he found out she fucked someone else? someone nicer pls explain to me bc i dont get it. she dont owe him shit
-george is SO CUTE lmfaoooo and so forward and he was so shook but then he was like "oh hell yeah"
-"is he a vampire?!" ik nobody i knew got that reference 😂
-this entire search of the claw is a sham. what are they even looking for. clearly a set up by tamura but why/what does he suspect them of. esp w karen as accomplice, story should be airtight so why are they still investigating?
-john + ace dream team 💙
-god ace is such a yes-man. why is he so fucking loyal?? people like him are insane. how are they real. i suspect they arent. and no matter what you do you are never worthy of their unending loyalty anyway.
-so in the Good Place nancy was the one who had the key but in reality its ryan
-wonder if lucy's listening to ryan here talking about his love and grief for her
-"you were throwing away your future on a nothing girl" - nancy & ryan - their fathers dont want them to see "troubled" kids, want them to focus on school instead --> which they both struggle with and eventually do not achieve (maybe bc they want their kids to leave horseshoe bay?) for nancy its an interesting vice for someone whos really a goody two shoes/for ryan its subverted bc karen actually did worse than him ie committed real crimes
-"stay away from my family" surprise bitch bet you thought youd seen the last of me 😉
-interestingly, ryan probably would have agreed with karen about switching the ballot boxes but he wouldnt have really understood the social consequences. both josh and karen are determined to see ryan as the bad guy when actually he didnt do anything, they did. 🤔
-karen is such a ride or die friend. again w the loyalty. if someone swapped ballot boxes for me i'd be touched. im sure going into active labor made lucy a bit upset but damn. what a friend.
-wonder when nancy starts calling her "Lucy" instead of "dead lucy"
-lucy primarily haunting her own house/love seeing this house overtaken by nature
-the concept of writing things down : starting from the first ep, nancy's journal (then and now), writing out simon cards, similar cemetary cards in the Good Place, "beautiful minding it," culminating in lucy's journal / writing it down to help figure it out/when theres too much going on to keep it inside
-"i'll make a salad" NICK LMAOOO
-wonder what happened to carson's old lawyer?
-"my testimony begins in the summer of 1999" because your story always starts with your mother's story
-lmfaoooooo this shit taking the stand is soooo never allowed but oh well
-"she stole a knife" and carson's face lmfaooooo he knows its not true but what could he fucking say?? no?
-"i love you mom, i hope you never find this." ironic bc nancy didnt want her dad to find her journal either
-lucy never wanted anyone to find out how she died d/t shame- but she didnt want carson to go to jail for it so she finally allowed it (or just couldnt refuse nancy asking)
-"i'm sorry for what you lost"/"i'm never gonna be free from them"
-awww ace/mcginnis goodbye / i wonder if ace is nervous thinking about tamura --> ace's dad since chief mcginnis covered for ace out of respect for his dads sacrifice but tamura would throw both ace and his dad under the bus just to get at nancy (get at her via ace? since he was already used as the blackmail plot device? they kinda touched in this in s2 but not fully)
-okay sooo why are they still doing this forensic analysis thing? like the whole things over so whats the point. i wonder if john had packed up and gone home what coulda happened
-nancy/carson - interrupted moments:
•family dinner interrupted by nancy's accsations
•being home after finding ted interrupted by carson's arrest
•celebration of dropped charges interrupted by nancy discovering the truth about her parentage
-"i cooked your favorite to celebrate" ironic bc shes upset that hes not her "real" dad but he IS because he knows her best. like theyre literally proving it right in front of her. vs ryan whom she doesnt really want anyway AND rejects requests to get to know her. like come on sis. his 20 years of parenting you arent going away, ever. deal w it.
-carson's little smile before he said "'mom never hurt lucy" like he knows this is the end / scott's acting here just kills me
~~~~~~~~~
-why did the drews come back at all? and why did kate really keep the dress? carson says she did it as a link to lucy, but did kate want to keep it to be connected to lucy? or did she bury it to keep lucy repressed? is this a positive or a negative? +keeping in attic - did lucy start to haunt kate, so she unburied the dress?
and lastly:
-why doesnt lucy haunt everett and celia hudson? she kind of does ie painting but only when nancy visits bc shes actually haunting nancy. isnt everything the hudsons' fault?
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biorusted · 4 years
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Precipice (Or: I could love you)
Out of the depths of my brine pool I come baring an actual, honest to God fanfic. And a smut one at that. 2020 is full of surprises.
Thank you @soulswimmr keeping my soul tethered to this mortal plane and for prof reading this fic.
Fandom: Satan and Me -- Pairing: GabeMike -- Words: 5510 (and no its not 10 pages of intercourse there are other things that happen)
If I had a AO3 account I would tag this fic as: Explicit! Panic attack tw, anxiety and depression tw, messy feelings, Hurt/Comfort, porn with plot, First times, cis gay sex, under negotiated kinks, (as in *slaps roof of fanfic* this baby can fit SO MUCH under negotiated kinks) light Bondage, light impact play, Dom/Sub tendencies, aftercare. yeehaw.
Summery: Michael accidentally confesses his love to Gabriel. Putting it lightly, it doesnt go well. But then Gabe shows up later that day and makes amends. (they boink)
Edit - 9/29 (michaelmas) Added a NSFW pic inspired by the fic (at the bottom)
Michael had no idea how he got here.
Well, no, of course he did; he was there when it happened. But to say that the day began with him nearly falling over the edge into despair to having Gabriel grinding up against him, pressing hot kisses to his neck and chest, toying with his body… well no one could have possible seen that coming. Except God, but he wasn’t really thinking of Him at this time.
Theres no way to track how This started. It could go back way before the Fall, to when Michael was first discovering that he liked Gabriel more than others. But that was normal, right? People had their favorites so why was this any different? Just because he leaned in closer whenever Gabriel spoke, or found him smiling like the sun whenever Gabe leaned up against him while they were on break, didn’t mean it was anything special. Besides, Gabriel had Anthea. Gabriel didn’t know he had Anthea at first, but Michael wasnt that blind. So he didn’t say anything to dissuade Gabriel from going after her. He didn’t encourage it either, though. Even after the Fall, he didn’t say anything, he himself just lost Lucifer so any chastising or encouragement would have been hypocritical, but eventually he’d thought that Gabriel would let go of her.
He never did though. And Michael never got rid of his feeling for Gabriel either. It grew, in fact. Slowly, like a vine coming around to choke the statues in the gardens, wholly unnoticed until there is nothing to do about it. Every laugh, ever tired roll of the eyes, every unexpected yawn would bring about a new leaf that would suffocate Michael if he wasn’t already doing everything he could to push his feelings down. He didn’t have time for whatever he felt for Gabriel. There were things to do on the surface, troops to train in Heaven and he, being the one on the pedestal, had to be perfect. And feelings were messy.
The point is, as much as he wanted to run his fingers through Gabriel’s curly red hair and kiss him on warm summer nights, he couldn’t do it. Would never do it.
And then the prophecy child came along. The end officially started, Michael got stabbed by his sister, contracted to a human, poisoned by his brother, sold off as a bartering chip to War, lost his physician, pulled some strings and brought a spirit back to earth, pulled some more strings to keep Gabriel from getting to irreversible trouble (but still had him sent to the tank for two weeks), finally saw God after years of radio silence, met his literal doppelganger, got formerly-mentioned-brother’s wings sent to him as sick gift and, quite frankly, was at the end of his rope. Everything was just happening too fast and no one seemed to care. The air was tight whenever he was with the other Archangels. It felt like he didn’t really know any of them anymore. Not even Gabriel, though his heart begged for that not to be the case.
Oh, right. Anthea had also died. So there’s that too. See? Messy.
All of that was basically to say, that when Gabriel made the snide comment that he, Michael, couldn’t possible know what it was like to truly love someone other than himself (which wasn’t even true, Michael did, in fact, hate himself immensely) Michael wasn’t planning to confirm or deny it.  However, after the initial shock – Did Gabriel really think him that heartless? – and feeling everyone’s eyes on him – all the other archangels were in the room, plus some other guards – he did answer. It came out like a holy confession, a whisper accompanied by searing hot tears.
I love you. He said.
Michael couldn’t breathe in the silence that followed, which made Gabriel’s laugh, a cruel sounding thing, even harder to take. Michael choked on air and when Gabriel turned to leave, but when he made to follow, maybe to explain himself more? To apologize? Anything but be alone with his thoughts or worse, alone in a room full of people, Gabriel slapped him.
Gabriel said something to him, but he didn’t catch it. All he felt was stinging on his cheek and embarrassment crushing his chest. Michael didn’t know how long he stood there, cradling his face and trying to think, but not comprehending anything around him, but eventually his brain caught up and he realized he did not want to be in that room right then. So, he ran.
--
Raphael had taught him some breathing techniques to help with panic attacks, but he couldn’t remember them. He guessed he actually had to breathe for them, which he wasn’t doing. All he was doing was sitting in a ball on the floor of his room trying to crush his feeling out. How typical of him, really, to fuck everything up. Now what? He had just cut ties with the only other person he felt a true connection with and now he was well and truly going to die lonely when The End came. That was always the plan; a murder suicide with Lucifer, but he’d thought there would be some pride when he went? Someone who he was fighting for? He didn’t know. He did know it was all his fault. Everything was his fault, no matter who he assigned blame to.
When he finally stopped crying, Michael sat very still. The apathy that came after such a strong release was always welcome. He breathed. And then he got up, washed his face and then went to his personal office to get some work done. He was nothing if not a good angel. Perfect in the eyes of the public.
Numb to everything that wasn’t directly in front of him, Michael actually got a lot done. The shuffling of paper and scratching of his pen was a pleasant relief compared to the chaos of his own thoughts that he was used to. He didn’t even hear the door to his office open, didn’t feel the presence of someone else in the room until they came to where he was organizing paperwork into the proper bins and gently grabbed both of his arms.
Oh, Michael could recognize Gabriel’s hands anywhere. They were hands he trusted completely with everything from a nice manicure to executing an offender of the faith. The only problem was he didn’t know what Gabriel was going to do with those hands. So, he stood completely still at Gabriel’s mercy for the second time that day.
“Turn around.” Gabriel said, taking the rest of the files from Michael and tossing them out of reach. Michael couldn’t discern anything from his voice, really only comprehending that he was very close to his ears, so, he did what he was told.
“Look at me.” he said next, as Michael found the trinkets on his desk a better study. When he didn’t listen, Gabe let go of the shelving he was pining him to and put one hand on the side of his face. It didn’t take a lot of pressure to tilt his head so their eyes met. It frightened Michael to see how stormy Gabriel’s eyes were. Dark, alluring, and troubled were not something he’d normally say about Gabriel, but now only those words applied. There was something else too, his jaw was clenched, as if he were holding his tongue, or arguing with himself.
Michael never got the chance to ask about it, because Gabriel leaned in, parted his lips, closed his eyes and kissed him.  The fog of apathy flushed out of him immediately and he felt everything; the warmth of Gabe’s hands on his cheek, the way his other hand lifted from the table and came to rest on his waist, the smooth silk of his own clothes against his body, heat coming from everywhere and, oh lord, his lips. The clouds couldn’t compare to the softness of Gabe’s lips on his, he could spend an eternity in this moment and it would never be enough.
The kiss (they’re first kiss), of course, did not last an eternity. It was only when Gabe moved away from him that Michael realized he didn’t close his eyes, or move towards him or do… anything. Kisses always looked magnetic, so why didn’t it fix everything between them? Michael felt a knot forming in his stomach and it only grew heavier as Gabe opened his eyes to gauge his reaction.
They were still standing so close that their breaths were shared. So, Michael only had to whisper when he said;
“I don’t understand.”
“Do you want to?” Gabe quipped back, tilting his head to the side. He was being completely serious.
“Wh-What?” He really wished his eyes were the bright emerald green they were usually.
Gabe’s grip on Michael’s waist tightened and the storm behind his eyes grew. “Do you want to understand?”
Of course he did. His cheek still burned from where Gabe hit him and the shaking anxiety from his panic attack never left completely, if he understood then maybe they really could make this work. Whatever this could be. Or he could fuck it up.
“No.” He said, and closed the gap between them.
Almost immediately he was shoved back into the shelving with Gabe’s hands clawing at his skin and teeth biting his lips. Heat rushed through his entire body as Gabe pressed up against him, ground up against him leaving his full intent out into the open.
God, since when could he move like that? Michael thought as he opened his mouth and let Gabriel’s tongue meet his own. Gabe’s piercing clicked on his teeth, setting off another wave of heat down his spine. He’d always wondered what it would be like to feel Gabe’s piercing in his mouth. One of his own hands slipped behind Gabe’s chiton and laid flat against his chest while the other raked through his hair. He almost wished Gabriel hadn’t cut his hair short, he would have love to pull on the curls, but the deep moan that came out of him made up for it.
Gabriel’s tongue was on his lips, and then his lips were on his jaw, kissing a line up and then down his neck, Michael could barely catch his breath, the way he gasped at every press of his mouth on sensitive skin. Even when Gabe slowed down to focus on a spot at the base of his neck, Michael didn’t complain, especially as Gabe’s leg pressed in between his own. Michael didn’t realize how hot his body felt, certainly didn’t realize how hard he was, how hard both of them were, but it was all he could think about as Gabe’s hands slid lower and started groping his ass, gathering the fabric of his skirt between his fingers.
Humans always made this stuff look strange, Michael didn’t get all the moaning and begging and crying out. The ‘losing control’ part never made sense to him either, but there was nothing controlled about the sounds he made now; broken whispers begging to be understood as wanting more. He wanted more of this, whatever this ended up being and he wanted Gabriel there to guide him through it all.
Naturally, that’s when Gabriel pulled away. Michael didn’t think he could fall for him anymore, but the vines he always compared his love to bloomed in such a vivid way. The messed up hair, the dilated pupils, the reddened lips, the way he dragged his eyes down every inch of him; it could have destroyed him and made him whole all at once.
“Tonight.” Gabe said. “I’ll meet you in your room.” It wasn’t a question, but it wasn’t a statement either.
“Yes.” He nodded, but when he felt Gabriel leaning away from him, asked “But why?”
He straightened himself up, making eye contact as he grazed his crotch and nodded towards his desk. “You still have work to do.”
--
The afternoon passed as quickly as he’d expected it to, which is not very quick at all. After getting himself fixed up, Michael found he could not possibly focus on anything other than events prior. It didn’t matter what he put in front of himself, all he could think about was how this whole thing wasn’t good. It’s exactly want he wanted in his deepest and most sinful dreams; a physical relationship with his millennia-long love—but he’d only let himself pin for a romantic one, chaste save for a few kisses. They both were angels after all. This… This wasn’t even love, he thought. Especially not in the way silence grew serious between them when they parted. Lovers didn’t do that… they talked at the very least.
No. This was lust. And he found that he was ok with it… he wanted to be ok with it.
Eventually he got up and left his office. The empty hallways of his home echoing his footsteps, he tried not to think about it. He paced around his room a bit, wishing Gabriel had been more exact about ‘tonight.’ Did he mean at sunset? Or closer to midnight? Were they just… going to get straight to it? Or… what? Was Michael expecting to be taken out on a date? Please. Gabe was probably just going to get off and then leave. He would be lucky if it was a mutual thing.
Still, he couldn’t stop thinking. How would it happen? Was he expected to do anything? How did Gabriel know how to move his body like that? Eventually, just about when he thought he’d lose it, Michael caved and looked up what to expect.
The internet was, as usual, very helpful, but by the end of his searching his mind was even more frayed than before. He decided to take a shower. A long one just to calm himself down and … maybe to… test some of the things he read.
By the time Gabriel arrived, Michael had taken a long shower, dried and dressed himself and even put on what he hoped was subtle perfume and straightened up his room. Everything was, hopefully, perfect. He was halfway through setting up two glasses of wine --because he did keep wine in his room now-- when the knock came.
“Come in,” He said casually, almost forgetting the situation they were in.
He heard the door open and close, but there came no greeting, so when Michael turned around to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, he was surprised to find Gabriel outright staring at him. He looked the same as he did before, except now he carried a bag with him. Michael, however, did dress up. Or down. It depends on how you look at it. He still wore his chiton, but in a more traditional way that showed off more of his chest and thighs. He also wasn’t wearing anything underneath.
He swallowed and turned back to the wine, wishing his body didn’t blush so much under Gabriel’s intense stare. But he faced it again, this time with a bottle of wine in his hands.
“I thought that we could have a drink?” His voice faltered and he stood rather awkwardly and small.
That seemed to break Gabe out of his trance. He dropped off his bag on the bed and approached him with an even gaze. Stopping right in front of him, he took the bottle from his hands and set it down.
“No… No more wine.” He said in that deep tone that put butterflies in his stomach. Upon seeing his reaction, Gabe added, “I’d rather have you right now.”
And to that Michael could only say one thing.
“Please.”
--
And now here they were, Gabriel leaving bite marks and hickeys on his neck while he pushed up against him so that every nerve was on fire, begging for more. Michael twisted and strained on the ropes tying his wrists to the bedposts, trying to catch his breath. But whenever he did manage a moment clarity, Gabriel would do something else to make him jump and moan beneath him. He was playing with his nipples now and dragging his fingernails down his sides. He still hadn’t taken off his clothes yet, but by now they might as well be ruined, soaked through with each other’s sweat and precum. Michael moaned again as Gabe slapped his thighs, by now he wasn’t afraid of being loud, he wanted Gabe to know exactly what he felt.
“Please.” He begged again, not expecting an answer but praying for one anyway. His legs shook underneath Gabe’s firm hands as he kept them pressed to the bed, no matter how many times he coaxed Gabe forward, to rub their cocks together, for any friction at all, he still denied him.
“Please, what?” he said into his ear, “Aren’t I giving you everything you want?” The honey in his voice made Michael shiver.
“Yes, God yes! But please… fuck- please touch me. I need you.” He captured his lips again for a messy kiss.
Gabe pulled away. “Greedy, much?” He kissed a line down his body, then above his navel, “You really are a whore.”
Michael gasped as the sash at his hips was untied and thrown aside. His whole body throbbed with need at the silent promise. “Only for you.”
Gabe lifted the remaining fabric and breathed in the wet spot where his precum soaked through. “Is that so? All of this is for me?” He gently pulled the fabric away from his body, finally leaving Michael bare and spread wide for him. His dick fully erect, leaking and red, begging for release by any means.
Michael shifted under his gaze, looking down on him like he owned him. He only hoped he looked as beautifully desperate as Gabriel did. “Of course.”
Gabe nodded and took off the rest of his own clothes. His hands traveled up and down his glistening tan body, fulfilling a desire that Michael wished he could do instead. How many times had Michael wanted to run his fingers up and down the curves of Gabriel’s toned body? He couldn’t remember at that moment. If he didn’t like his wrists being tied up so much, he might have asked to be untied.
When he got to his dick though, he only traced light lines with his fingertips, moaning and biting his lips in pure ecstasy. It was a sight to behold, the lines of precum hanging on his fingers, the trail of ginger hair cropping his dick. ‘Heavenly’ could hardly cover it.
Michael let out a groan and Gabe stopped, a ghost of a smile on his lips.
“My eyes are up here.”
“Fuck me already.”
That earned him another slap on the inside of his thighs, he bucked and noted the way his cock bounced in the air. Did everything have to be so erotic? Gabriel reached back to the bag he brought, the one that also had the rope, and pulled out a small bottle of lube and a condom. Now that they were on track, Gabe wasted no time in slicking his fingers up, propping up Michael’s legs and sliding said fingers up and down his ass, even grabbing his balls for good measure. Michael thought about biting into his own arm to stop from crying out too loud, but instead just lifted his legs higher. The house was empty anyway.
Gabe let out a satisfying hum and pressed a finger inside him. It felt as strange as it did when he practiced in the shower, but god was it so much better.
“Take deep breaths. I’m just stretching you out now.” He said, smiling to himself and kissing Michael’s calf. “It would be a shame if you finished now.”
“It wouldn’t be my fault. I didn’t know how much you liked teasing.” Or slapping or bondage or powerplay or literally anything. Then again, he himself didn’t realize how much he’d like those things too, much less being on the receiving end. He took a deep breath. And another. Then, the question that was haunting him slipped from his mouth. “How do you know how to do this?” he blurted out.
“Hm?” Gabriel looked away from him, suddenly abashed, as if he wasn’t massaging his asshole for his pleasure and use. “I uh. I watched some videos.”
And to that Michael laughed, more genuine than he had in a while.
“What?” Gabe took the opportunity to insert another finger, stopping his laughter with pain and pleasure. How cruel!
“Nothing! I just…” He turned his head to hide his face in is arms. “I watched some videos too.”
“Really?” The quality in his voice changed. It had been changing from when they made out in his office to now… it felt like they were talking normally with each other, like friends… or, well, like lovers. It helped that he was smiling now, not quite a joyful or mischievous smile, but a quaint one. As if they both were taking each other in with a new light.
“Yeah… I practiced some too.” He could share that, right?
“Oh… did you…?”
“No. I was… saving that for you.”
“Oh.” Was all he said, hiding his quiet delight behind adding in another finger inside of him.
They stayed like that for a while, Gabe stretching him out gently while Michael sighed and kept his breathing relaxed. Gabe never pushed his fingers in deep, even though Michael thrusted his thighs up, trying to convince Gabe to finger fuck him a little. After a few minutes, Michael was craving for something thicker and longer. Even so, he was not ready for how cold, empty and gapping he’d feel when Gabe’s fingers left him.
“Ready?” Gabe asked as he slid the condom on and poured more lube onto his hand. He bit his swollen lips and he slicked up his shaft; he wasn’t the only one that was denied.
“More than.” He angled himself up more and welcomed Gabe’s steady hand bracing on his red thighs. There was a moment of blissful silence as Gabe lined himself up, only broken by the feeling on his head pressing up against his hole and pushing in. They both moaned.
Gabe was gentle going in, pushing forward and pulling back bit by bit. His whole body jerked as he guessed his prostate was hit, he read that it felt like sparks shooting across the body and by God was that right. He rocked his hips up even harder now. Michael had never felt so full, never felt the need to be, but when Gabe bottomed out and rutted against his hips, he felt as if he’d need this the rest of his life. Is this what it felt like to be truly connected? To be full and content with your lover? It felt cheesy to even think, but he imagined soulmates felt like this.
Michael moaned even louder as Gabe pulled halfway out and slid down faster. Again and again he felt sparks as his lover’s wet hips slammed into his own. The noises they made were obscene and only made worse when Gabe leaned over him to get a better angle. Now he could feel Gabe’s hot breath on his face and see just how gone he was, which made the heat pooling in his own stomach twist and flood his senses. This was started to be too much.
“Touch me!” He begged, straining on his wrists again. “Oh, please I want to come. Please let me come.” He had to have this, he’d waited so long; Michael needed this.
“Oh fuck.” Gabe moaned and leaned down to bite at his neck once more. “Beg for me. I’m so close.”
“Please, Gabriel, I wanna… I wanna feel you come inside me, I want your hands pumping my dick until I scream. I want you. I need you Please. Please. Please!”
Michael’s breathy cries grew more erratic along with Gabriel’s pace. The wet slapping of skin filled the room until Gabe cried out and shook with his orgasm. Michael pushed up against him, writhing around his partner’s twitching cock, until Gabe collapsed onto him and gasping for breath, oversensitive and spent.
“Fuck.” He gasped as he lifted himself up and crashed his mouth on Michael’s. His lips screamed desperation. His hands trembled as he grabbed Michael’s cock and pumped at a horrifically fast pace. Michael gasped against his mouth and bucked, arching his back as much as he could. When his orgasm hit, he froze, coming quickly in Gabe’s hand before opening his eyes again and melting into the bed. Only then did Gabe slide out of him and collapse. He couldn’t breathe for a moment, and then the only thing he could do was breathe. His mind and body spent.
They laid together for a few minutes, Gabe resting on top of him, both of them basking in the afterglow. Michael felt sticky and sore and empty but didn’t feel like moving, and honestly, if they laid like that for the rest of the night, he would be completely fine with that.
As if reading his thoughts, Gabriel kissed his jaw and lifted himself up. How he went from blitzed out to composed Michael couldn’t guess, but he noted the way Gabe still trembled. “We should… clean up.” He emphasized this by taking his hand—still covered in Michael’s cum – and dragged his tongue up his index finger. He made a face and shrugged, “It doesn’t taste that good.”
Michael huffed. “I’m sorry I’m not made of sugar.”
“Hm. But those noises you made were so sweet.”
Michael rolled his eyes. “Untie me, please.” He didn’t thing he could play anymore games.
“Just a second.” He peeled off the condom and made to get off the bed.
“Where are you going?” A bolt of dread shot up his spine; he wasn’t leaving, was he? Not tied up to the bed and out in the open?
“Bathroom, Michael. Getting a towel and washing my hands. Also, you’re sticky.”
“And whose fault is that?” he tried shove his anxiety back into its box.
He didn’t get a reply, just a hum and a good view of Gabe’s back side as he walked to the room adjacent and cleaned himself up. He wasn’t even out of sight, keeping the bathroom door wide open, but Michael still felt tendrils of doubt writhe in his chest.
He put on a smile as he walked back holding two warm towelette—because yes, Michael had towelettes on hand. They’re nice to have— He was still surprised when Gabriel cleaned him instead of just untying his wrists and letting him handle his own ‘sticky’ body. Somehow this seemed more intimate than what they just finished doing, especially how gentle Gabe lifted his legs to get a better angle. The warm towel felt wonderful on his abused butt and dick, more so than he thought it would. After getting his lower half he used the other towelette to press on his neck, which had much the same effect. Michael didn’t think that a warm towelette would make the deep bite marks and bruises heal right away, but it was like a gentle kiss. He didn’t think Gabe would be so kind to him.
“Whats wrong, Michael?” Gabe’s calm voice cut through the silence. He didn’t meet his eyes as he asked.
What should he say to that? Everything was wrong, they just—they just had sex! They didn’t even talk about it before hand they just… did it! And this morning he was pretty sure Gabe hated him and Michael… he didn’t know what he wanted to do with anything. No one could find out, he was sure of that… but did that mean he had to forget this whole night happened? All in all his life was falling apart! He didn’t want to push his last lifeline away.
“I’m fine.” He smiled. He tried not to panic as the mood shifted over Gabriel. He could see the clouds over his eyes again. Shit shit shit of course he’d ruin it. “I-“ He started, frantically thinking about what would make this right. “I just want you to stay.” Pathetic.
That seemed to work, though it hurt to say, but he didn’t get an answer right away. Instead, Gabe moved up to his arms and finally undid the rope. Michael hissed as he moved his freed wrists again.
“Oh, I brought something for that.” Gabe said, reaching for his bag once again. He produced a bottle of lotion and applied some to his hands before taking one of Michael’s and massaging it. It felt good, though much like the towel still at his neck, he didn’t think it would do much. They fell into a lull again. Michael felt as if he could fall sleep, if not for the unanswered question weighing on his mind.
“What do you want to do with the cover?”
“Hm?”
“The duvet is… wet.”
“Oh… just throw it to the ground, I’ll clean it tomorrow.” Or he’ll just burn it, whatever.
“Ok.” Gabe let go of his hands and began to pull back the blanket beneath them. Ideally, they should have taken it off beforehand, but they weren’t really thinking logically then, just about how to make each other shake with pleasure. Michael sat up and helped kick the thick blanket to the ground. His ass hurt and his whole body was sore, scratched up and bruised, but at least he was clean-ish. He had honestly never felt so… exhausted before. Satisfied but still so wanting. Maybe he was a selfish whore. He pulled back more blankets from the front of the bed and crawled underneath him, not caring to put on clothes or turn off the dim lights still illuminating his room.
He closed his eyes and tried to focus on the heaviness he felt all around him versus the sounds of Gabriel sliding off the bed and walking away. It didn’t really work, he still felt hot tears behind his eyes and tried biting the inside of his lip to keep from making noise. If Gabriel wanted to leave, then who was he to stop him? He knew this wasn’t good. He should be happy that he got to have sex with him at all. A check off the bucket list and all that.
But he didn’t leave. Michaels eyes snaped open as he felt a thumb wipe away his tears. Gabe was hovering above him, looking somewhere between tired and concerned; he’d just turn off the lights. Michael wanted to laugh because of how ridiculous he was being. Or cry.
But he didn’t. He shifted over and let Gabriel slide under the covers with him. It was awkward, they were both naked and wasn’t sure how get comfortable like this, but they soon settled down where Michael was laying on Gabe’s chest and they were tracing shapes on each other’s arms.
He was about to drift off when Gabe muttered, half to himself, “I could love you.”
That didn’t feel as bad as it could to Michael. “That’s all I need.” His words slurred together before he dropped into darkness. He’ll deal with everything else tomorrow.
--
Gabriel didn’t know why he did this anymore than Michael probably did. All Gabe wanted was a release, something he thought he could only have with Anthea. A stress reliever, maybe. A good fuck before the world went to shit. He tried to ignore the darker thoughts he had that day, where he pushed Michael over the edge and left him to shatter on the ground. Or the ones where he’d hurt Michael outright to finally get across all of the hurt he’d experienced at his now-lover’s hands. But there was something—a spark? – when they kissed, and a shift when they actually talked to each other. No masks, no pretenses. Just feelings; whatever they happened to be.
And Gabe remembered how Michael used to be. Fun, genuine, loving. He remembered the quiet nights where they watched the sky and how Michael would, very obviously, check him out. The way he always seemed to prefer either him or Lucifer. This whole thing was ridiculous; of course Michael loved him, it was so obvious. So why did Gabe react like that this morning? He didn’t know. He didn’t want to think about it anymore than he already had.
Gabe wasn’t lying when he said he could love him, but he wouldn’t lie and say that he loved him now. His heart was recently broken and, the tattoo of Anthea’s name was barely over a month old. Before today, he believed it too soon for anything new. Obviously, another part of him disagreed, but he would save those thoughts for another time. Gabriel kissed Michael’s head and fell asleep with him in his arms. He’ll have to see what the next day brought.
____
a doodle:
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mistymark · 5 years
Text
nct dream x hogwarts
nct dream as hogwarts students // 2.3k words // masterlist // send requests here
r e n j u n
the only slytherin in the gang
probably muggle-born but also top of most of his classes
what can he say hes amazed by this shit
really good at theory-based subjects especially
history of magic is his bitch lets be real
sketches in his books and stuff
says he likes sketching with quills the most because theyre more aesthetic
donghyuck says its because hes pretentious
but the whole group pitched in to get him some really nice canvases and paints and other tools
one of his paintings is hanging in the school somewhere, and the little girl in it smiles and greets all the students as they walk past
somehow she always tries to spit on people who had been annoying him recently - and them only
sometimes she spits on Donghyuck for no reason
jeno laughs and says its because she has a crush on him
uses magic for the dumbest things just because he can
he mastered the wingardium leviosa spell within a week because he couldn't be bothered getting up to get things
when he gets close to graduation, hes pretty much practicing simple wandless magic
once freaked out the first years because jaemin charmed a storm cloud to hang around him for an entire day
it flashed lightning when he got particularly annoyed, which was a lot because that cloud was annoying as shit
has a really old owl that literally looks evil but has called it something like “snuggles”
laughs when he unintentionally swoops too low and skims other students’ heads on mail day
buys all his friends gifts during the holidays and comes back with bags filled with fun shit
pretends he never buys gifts for chenle and jisung
always ends up giving them more
cause hes soft like that
but he headlocks them after to show his dominance
has a habit of throwing his cases in the general direction of the dorm when he comes back from holidays and accidentally hitting other students
plays quidditch in his free time
debates strategies with Jeno during their free periods
gets called a traitor by his own captain
couldnt really give a shit about his own team, he prefers to support his friends
wears his school uniform properly and is the only one in the group who does so
j e n o
a Gryffindor
probably quidditch captain
and dubbed the best player on the team
super humble about it too
always commends his team for doing their best when they lose and every member loves him a lot
the captain that's always saying stuff like “it doesn't matter how this game ends... as long as we try our hardest and play as a team”
the entire team rolls their eyes at his cheesiness but the lack of pressure keeps them at ease
and majority of the time they play really well
though its clear his focus is on quidditch, he still does really well in his classes
cant cook but is somehow rlly good at potions??
likes all the really tiny creatures in care of magical creatures
and they like him too
has a slightly damaged snitch that he carries around with him at all times
one of the wings broke during his first ever game of quidditch and he never got rid of it
he keeps it in the pocket of his robes and fiddles with it when he's anxious about something
has a really good poker face when he's stressed and you'd never know until you hear the soft clicking of his hand playing with it in his pocket while he studies
has a terrible poker face when something confuses him though
during class its so obvious when he doesnt get something
renjun once charmed question marks to hang around his head and everyone in the class died laughing
even jeno
overall great sense of humour
he brought a cat
of course
and its always getting him into trouble for wandering into the off-limits areas of the castle or into the restricted section of the library
once jaemin joked that the cat was actually an animagus that was purposely trying to get him in trouble 
and jeno was spooked for like a week
wouldn't let the cat sleep on his bed and almost had a heart attack when he saw it wandering the halls between classes
but there was nothing wrong with the cat
shes just a curious girl
had a major glow-up between 6th and 7th year and everyone fell in love with him lmao
like everyone knew he was fit from quidditch but they didnt know he was that fit you know
heartthrob
d o n g h y u c k
an annoying brat
at least when he first arrived at Hogwarts in first year
has really good intentions though
everyone thought he would get sorted into Slytherin 
like the second he stepped on the train and found his way into mark lee’s compartment everyone was like this kid has GOT to be a Slytherin
but no! hufflepuff
true fullsun
used to be a beater on the quidditch team but he was forced to quit until he got his grades up
but he ended up commentating because he couldnt play
and who can actually talk that fast other than the lee donghyuck
and actually found that he enjoyed that more
so even when his grades were t h r i v i n g
he stayed as a commentator
absolutely hilarious and everyone loves him for it
is Not afraid to call out foul plays
mutters quick apologies to the professors when they scold him but does it again later anyway
tbh is actually really popular
known for being dared to stand on the Slytherin table and sing at the top of his lungs 
and actually doing it
he got two weeks detention
“worth it” - donghyuck, circa. 2019
has a talent for defence against the dark arts
acts like the smartest person in the room during that class
hes lowkey right tho
(don't tell him)
wears his tie way too loose and constantly gets told off about it
promises professors he’ll fix it then walks away and just,,, doesnt
his Hufflepuff scarf hangs off his bed frame back home
had a toad for his first few years of hogwarts but the toad ended up passing away so now he has a really troublesome owl
the owl itself is a good boy, flies fast and efficiently, but has a nasty habit of pecking donghyuck when hes hungry
“but hes hungry all the time” he whines when jaemin explains the bird’s just hungry. meanwhile, jaemin’s owl is sitting softly beside him, her eyes closed as he pets her
every first day back from holidays hyuck has red lines on his hands, arms and ears from the owl
chenle says its for giving the poor bastard a terrible name
donghyuck never actually refers to his owl by his proper name, always things like “bastard” and “dipshit”
theres a conspiracy theory about the owl’s real name and no one in their group will spill the secret
complains that the animals in care of magical creatures like him more than his own pet
“lol tru” - Chenle
j a e m i n
ravenclaw’s biggest flirt and most popular student
probably didnt even want to run for house captain but still got the position
theres a rumour that he was offered head boy but he turned it down
was the first one to find the kitchens and claimed it as the unofficial hang out spot for their group
if you’re ever missing jaemin, he’s probably in the kitchens chatting up the elves and stealing food every now and then
carries snacks with him everywhere for when he needs to comfort one of his babies house members
literally all the younger year levels feel so comfortable coming to him with their problems
has no issue with staying up in the common room to talk through things with someone
is known to walk people to their classes and then bolt to his own classrooms so hes not late
50% of the school is already in love with him
he was given the angel reputation back in first year and it hasn't let him down
is kind of a troublemaker tho
teases his classmates and even some professors that he has a good relationship with
really really loves transfiguration
probably wants to become an animagus
also wants to be an auror
absolutely loves defence of the dark arts
his owl is white and regal
like genuinely beautiful
she always looks like shes happy to see you
just like her owner uwu
he named her something sweet and meaningful
when Renjuns owl isnt able to fly, jaemin’s owl is eager to take Renjuns mail back to his family for him
wears his jumper all year round
its a good look though,, no ones complaining
was on the quidditch team up until his final year
he dropped it to focus on his studies and also being house captain
it takes him forever to go anywhere because he stops to talk to everyone
somehow knows everyone in school
even the third years in other houses??
runs errands for teachers with a smile
offers to buy food when the group goes out
c h e n l e
another muggleborn
but fits in so well
like the boy is just a natural at magic
unfortunately it doesnt always transfer into his grades
he has such a great interest in everything,,, just not on what hes learning
learnt fourth year history of magic in his first year but still almost failed his exam at the end of year
also hes the best other hufflepuff in the group
didnt understand quidditch for at least a year
ended up in the team in second year and is actually really good
probably the goalie
has the loudest laugh in school
the older professors claim they can hear him from the other side of the castle
somehow gets his hands on all the coolest magic stuff
has the marauders map no doubt
bought himself an invisibility cloak to mess with his friends
makes his professors laugh a lot
fist bumps everyone in school istg
like chenle w h y
really good at muggle studies too
made sure to select it as a subject the entire time he was at hogwarts as a slack class
doesnt really study and then feels threatened when someone gets a mark close to his
studies his butt off for the next test to maintain his status as top rank
definitely had a rat first year because he thought they were cool
and also because he knows rats can be pets like ??? wyd with owls you guys ??? shouldn't they be out in the wild or smth??
was super depressed when he found out how short the lifespans of rats were
ended up having to buy an owl in third year because rip nugget 2k15 :((
his owl is Small
thought it would be funny to call it renjun
but then renjun wouldnt talk to him for almost a week
visits the owlery at least once a week during his free periods to check on his owl
collects his thoughts up there
also rlly likes feeding the owls
sometimes steals Jeno’s cat
catch him in his dorm studying on his bed with Jeno’s cat sleeping in his lap
chenle claims its because the cats like the warm greenhouse vibe the Hufflepuff dorm has going on
but the real reason he bribed the cat into loving him when he first met it
probably was the one to lead the cat to the off-limits areas of the castle
j i s u n g
Gryffindors best seeker to date
kinda shy but is rlly admired by everyone
likes to piss jeno off by missing practice every two practices to study
but low-key hes so good he doesnt really have to go at all
doesnt want a career in quidditch but is constantly reminded he could have one if he wanted it
easily the most popular boy in his year
got asked out a few times this year and awkwardly rejected them all in the nicest way possible
he has a cat thats just as long and skinny as he is
jeno likes to call it sungie and it now responds to that name
enjoys care of magical creatures but very hesitant towards the creatures
but because of his care and precaution, the animals all really love him lmao
gets really soft around them now
seriously oblivious to his admirers tho
chenle once said if the triwizard tournament was to be brought back jisung would be the one to be chosen
has lived in fear ever since
okay jokes
boy could totally win
the only one in the group who has attempted and can successfully perform wordless magic
he knows way too many jinxes and charms off the top of his head that he can easily jinx you without even uttering a word
once was studying in the great hall when one of his friends teased him about rejecting someone and without looking up from his book he just lifted his wand and waved it, jinxing the apple in his friend’s hand to bite him
got detention but honestly the professor was so pleased with his progress it was only a one hour session
has a lot of sass 
evidently
never Fully awake at breakfast
always looks really good in the evenings tho
he comes down to breakfast with his tie half undone and the top button of his shirt open
undoes the top buttons when he’s stressed too
professors love having him as a student
especially because they know he hangs out with jaemin
but the fact that he was in renjun and Donghyuck and Chenle’s group was enough for them to be wary
but hes the perfect blend of fun and focused in lessons
likes studying outside in summer
enjoys walking around school grounds during the holidays
390 notes · View notes
ryncorrect · 4 years
Text
university!au: day6 sungjin
i’ve abandoned this au for so long istg my life is a mess yall please forgive but anyway im back with my bullshit and ready to spread my cringe-worthy stuff to the world again
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name: park sungjin
major: practical music and arts
other activities: leader, guitarist, and vocalist of university band, president of music club, member of cooking club
park sungjin is the embodiment of leadership
i mean he’s the band leader, the club president, also the president of his class since year one, like he’s so trustworthy and responsible, literally nothing can go wrong under his sight
and even when things do go wrong (life is a bitch) he’ll still make sure everyone is fine and having the time of their lives pun intended
anyone who meets sungjin for the first time will probs say he has this tough man aura, cold,,, tsundere-ish idk
but as someone who have known each other for so long, you never understand when anyone says sungjin looks cold
you know damn well the moment sungjin opens his mouth he gonna throw dad jokes with his satoori dialect
dad jokes are fucking funny fight me
you once said sungjin should start his own comedy club
......he’s currently considering it
oh right he also talks about food all. the. time.
he joined cooking club for a reason okay
no, he can’t and doesn’t really cook he’s only there to taste food and people let him there because he’s nice and he knows how to appreciate the cooks
uh we love a man with manners
so, who is sungjin for you exactly?
he lives next door, one year older than you, was a leader even when you were little ayeee childhood friend cliche
can you imagine little sungjin leading his friends in game its so pure brb crying
you told him everything you couldn’t tell ur parents because they were busy, you asked for his advises, he made sure you were safe and happy
you still depend on him even after you two have grown up
you enrolled to the same university, took the same major with him, and even joined the clubs he’s a member of
this isn’t because you’re indecisive, it’s just that you spent so much of your childhood with sungjin that you two became similar to each other, up to your hobbies and interests and even palate lmao
that’s why he loves to eat with you because you two never argue about the menu
the only club you can’t join is the band, and that’s because jae rejected your application
reason: extremely close personal relationship with sungjin, therefore sungjin will take your side if we ever had an argument
you denied that; no, sungjin wont take anyone’s side based on feelings bc he’s a logical person and he always listens carefully to every side of the parties before he makes a decision..... but jae wont listen
brat
"you only rejected me because im a better guitarist”
“lalalalala cant hear you over my authority as the important band member”
“fuck you”
“i don’t accept offers”
anywayssss you did fail to join the band, but you’re friends with them, theyre literally so used to your company that sometimes they forgot youre not actually in the band
you and the guys teamed up for sungjin’s surprise birthday party
the surprise failed because dowoon accidentally added sungjin to the group chat
sungjin being nice and playing along anyway because he didnt want to disappoint you
and then its sungjin’s turn to ask the guys for help for your birthday party
failed again because dowoon AGAIN accidentally invited you, in person, to your own birthday party
dowoon what the heck?????
yeah its all cute and sweet but thats all of your relationship with sungjin, you treat him like a dependable brother and he treats you like his own little sister
thats what you tell to your friends too when they ask if you two are dating
they’re glad thats the case
because they have a crush on sungjin LMAOOOOO PLOT TWIST
they’re hoping they can get to sungjin through you yanno like asking you to send him snacks and letters or to tell him they say hi
you dont mind i mean you know sungjin is one admirable person ofc everyone likes him
sungjin never rejects nor accepts it hes just like “yay snacks!”
“god damn it sungjin just date any of them im tired of being a matchmaker”
“then dont?? literally no one asked you to”
little did you know that sungjin had the same problem
some of his classmates are interested in you but whenever they come to him he just says, “dont ask me i dont know anything and if i do i wont tell you”
this one sandeul guy has started asking you out and stuff
“ehhh youre so nice i’ll think about it!!”
you, immediately texting sungjin: ur friend sandeul ask me out what should i do
sungjin: do you like him tho
you: not really idk him yet
sungjin: just tell him your mom said no
you: damn nice
but this guy is so persistent and you gotta admit hes kinda cute and after a few tries you finally said yes to him
so you two went together and it was pretty fun
sungjin isnt too happy when he hears about it from sandeul
he asked you, “why didnt you tell me first?”
“well i dont think its a big deal. it was just a date anyway”
but you always told him everything
sungjin never speaks about it again
you go on another date with sandeul the week after
you tell sungjin later and he doesnt ask how it went
hes just “oh”
idk he’s kinda distant now, he rarely talks nor replies to your texts
he doesn't visit music club nor cooking club either so you don't see him often
have i told you im uncreative and all my aus are lame???
you think its probably because hes focusing for the finals, but even after it’s over sungjin doesnt really hang out with you or the band anymore like he only comes for practices and leaves right after
weirdly no one says anything about sungjin’s absence
but you cant stay quiet any longer and decide to ask dowoon whats wrong with sungjin
you shouldve known dowoon cant help much
“honestly i dont know either, maybe you should ask wonpil he’s sungjin’s roommate”
“but what if wonpil told sungjin”
“told sungjin what?”
“that i asked about him”
“asked him what?”
“...nevermind”
you asked younghyun
younghyun doesnt help either
“i dont know, just ask him yourself. i thought you were the closest to him??” why you so salty man
okay fine lets ask jae
“i’ll tell you for fifty bucks”
“dude im broke”
“then deal with it yourself”
you had no choice but to ask wonpil
“he’s just tired”
you know wonpil lied but this little shit refuses to tell anything
“please dont force me to answer i will cry really loudly and it’ll be embarrassing for the both of us”
why do you befriend them in the first place smh
oh youre right about wonpil telling sungjin that youre worried, and he does tell him to talk to you if he got something in mind
sungjins hesitant but in the end he only says, “no... its just that i didnt realize until recently that my little sister has grown up a lot”
“dear god wtf you sound like her grandma”
skip the boring part so uh a few more days passed awkwardly between you two and after your failed attempt at asking around you decide to confront sungjin in person
youre in the band practice room, the others are present, sungjin’s about to leave early as usual, and you find yourself jumping up your seat, “whats your problem with me?”
you know sungjin hates confrontation but you cant stand it anymore. you tried giving him time but if theres anything you seem to be more of a stranger to him
“i dont know what i did wrong and i wont know if you dont tell me, so let me know. i’ll listen and i’ll apologize if its my fault, but dont give me silent treatment like this. its so unlikely of you"
you can see sungjin clences his jaw as he replies calmly, "people change"
"you don't change, youre being childish. if you're mad you should talk about it. if you don't want me here you should tell me to go. if you don't like ME dating your friend you should tell me not to!!!"
drama much ryn
"youre your own person and you make your own choice, its your life and i cant keep telling you what to do or what not," and the end part kinda slips, "i don't hate you dating my friend or anyone, okay? im just not used yet to be a second person for you and im afraid youll get hurt"
"youre never?? a second person sungjin where does this idea even come from youre the only one for me i dont want anyone else???"
and suddenly there's a train of awkward coughs and you come back to your senses and you realize you're being watched
jae pretends to make a phone call, "mom pick me up im scared"
lame jae lame
dowoon mumbles, "can we,,, make an exit first before you two declare your undying love bc its privacy yanno"
you feel the heat spreading across your face as you open your mouth the same time as sungjin, both want to deny dowoon, but younghyun beats yall to it, "yeah you two are in love with each other we been know"
you and sungjin stares at each other, confused, "we don't???"
"oh honey,,, my dear,,, ive read enough sappy shit in writing club to see where this is going"
the conversation was cut there and neither of you bring it up again,
because the idea of you loving sungjin or sungjin loving you is so weird that you refuse to think about it, and so is for sungjin
but ever since that, sungjin has drastically come back to normal its almost hilarious, he spends a lot of time hanging out in the music club, practicing with the band, visiting the cooking club, making a joke here and there
sungjin is himself again with you, a caring dependable brother whom you come to whenever you need to talk or just hang out with and he always makes sure he has time for you
sap
you know hes always been like that but why does it feel different now??? the way he smiles or pulls your hand so youre walking on the inner side of the road,,, how he neatly places your spoon and chopsticks on a napkin when you two go out to eat together,,,, why
tender love baby chICKEN TENDER
mydayexol follow me
andddd so one day, someone asked you out. again.
wow ur so popular i cant Relate
you, texting sungjin: sandeuls friend jinyoung something invited me to a party next saturday should i come
sungjin, replying to you: hmm
you: ???
sungjin: i think its up to you
for some reason youre disappointed by his reply,,, but he’s right tho its your call if you wanna go then you go its not about what sungjin says
right?
right???
but suddenly you got another text: but if you ask for my opinion i would say don't go
you: actually i dont want to either lol so what should i say
sungjin: tell him you already have a date
you: nice
sungjin: with me
you: ayyeee
you: wait what
sungjin: i mean its just a suggestion
sungjin: which you can accept
sungin: or reject
for some reason you can imagine sungjin’s cheeky smile through his texts and it makes your inside tingles and you wanna giggle
so yea you thought it was a joke but he actually did take you out for a movie and dinner
it was really nice
so yanno the weird thing is that neither of you ask the other to be “official” but you just. are dating.
ur friends are mad like “bUT YOU SAID YOU TWO WERENT A THING”
“lol sry i changed my mind”
“fuck you”
“no thanks sungjin can do that... bUT DONT TELL SUNGJIN I SAID THAT hes gonna kill me”
“is he ur mom”
“basically yeah”
this sucks real bad but who cares
not me obviously
ill be back soon (or not) with dowoon’s one lets hope i can do better than this dnsjfsndfj lnjajnfdjs lmAO I LOVE YALL AND HAPPY NEW YEAR IN ADVANCE
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fart-gate · 4 years
Text
SG1
Season 2 episode 9
🚨trigger warning: mentions of rape in my notes🚨
"SECRETS"
Notes by me
- the chief from abydos! Also daniels father in law :)
- no glasses!Daniel in this scene
- I love how dedicated Daniel is to his space family and their culture😌 like this random Egyptian planet was like I'm gonna keep you! And he said okie dokie
- "I couldnt possibly be safer than in the company of tealc" AKDEOSNDJSJSSKA
- Jack wants to go back too lol
- Daniel back in his robes 💕
- back home for daniel! To abydos!
- Bodyguard!tealc
- apologizing to sha'res dad for not being able to find her yet 😟 its not your fault babe!
- SHA'RE??? YOUVE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME WHAT THE FUCK
- tealc:
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- shes pregnant and that is....really bad. If its one of the goaulds that raped her. This got dark real quick
- "husband!" "My daniel" I CANT HANDLE THIS IM ALREADY GOING INSANE
- he doesnt want to bring his hopes up that its actually her 😭
- hes shocked but like.....i would be too
- I was right its apophis kid :\ this so fucked up
- Host Baby??? Big Yikes
- okay I'm gonna say this right fucking now before i watch any more. If Daniel blames her and gets mad at her for being raped and getting pregnant WITHOUT her consent than i will personally come thru this screen and slap the fuck out of him
- meanwhile! Jack and Sam bonding time!
- SAMS DAD
- sha're thinking Daniel wont love her anymore :( she better be wrong or I'm throwing hands
- she said the goauld is Amunet? Is that the dog goddess? Or the crocodile? I'm getting my Egyptian gods mixed up
- Daniel sitting outside to Process™
- "hasnt she gone thru enough?" My brain stopped working I'm so happy hes not not blaming her. Writers for once youre doing something right
- man hes really emotional about this
- tealcs right they need to take her anyway for her own safety.
- do u think he sympathizes with her bc hes been raped too? Its not said but I feel like thats what it is. He knows it wasnt her fault. And that also means they can comfort each other about what happened to them😟bc they understand
- okay why is sams dad being a total dill hole
- "Ive heard nothing about you, sir." Jack youre not off to a great first impression
- Jack making sam smile with sly jokes
- her dad knows she be lyin about her job
- he wants her to go to space HAHA if only he knew. His tiny brain would explode
- Daniel said he loves her no matter what and then gave her a big hug im LOSING MY MIND
- are we keeping the baby??? Am I gonna see Dad!Daniel and mom!sha're ??? 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
- micheal shanks eyes are super blue in this episode for my viewing pleasure only
- protective!Daniel 😍
- I'm just remembering how they met and when she showed him the forbidden drawings in the caves and they spent days together just sharing knowledge. When he found out they were married(in her culture) and just completely accepted it. When he saved her bc he realised he was in love. When he stayed on abydos so that he could live a full life with her and her people because he felt like he belonged. I'm fine
- parents need to ask before they set up things like job interviews. I have personal experience with this and im full of rage
- this reporter literally having a recording of Jack talking about the stargate and Jack flatly denying it. Zero fucks given
- Daniel saying he wont force sha're into anything. Bc up to this point shes been forced into so much!! He knows he needs to let her make her own choices!!! He gets it!!!
- im sorry both Daniel and sha're are so pretty in his episode. My bisexual brain is just having a real good time looking👀
- I REALLY really love it when she calls him "my dan-yel" ❤❤❤
- the SGC has a mole???
- LABOR somebody boil water
- oh its my goauld mans with the sick earrings
- Daniel helping her give birth. Sitting behind her and helping her breathe. I'm love
- "this is where we hid from Ra remember?" Ajdjsisnana thats such a cool detail
- he'll never leave her again there goes my heart
- "It's O'Neill. With two L's. Theres another colonel O'Neil, but he has no sense of humor at all."
- dont you hate when youre about to uncover a huge government secret and then immediately get hit by a car
- shooting the zat gun into the camera was a cool directing choice 🔥
- sam: so I'm getting a medal for my service this week! Cool right?
Jacob Carter: I have cancer
- he could not have been any more blunt
- ok dude cant you just accept the fact that she cant tell you what her job? Dont you know what top secret means? Cant you just be proud of her for what she does already???? Dick
- "I will always love you!!"
- she is scared she will lose Daniel and the baby :(
- its a boy! 💙💙
- the goauld is back in control oh god Daniel run
- shes actually pretty scary as a goauld
- yeah ok shoot the woman who just gave birth tealc YEESH
- that was a good idea to frame Heru'hur tho
- Daniel hesitating to leave her again. My heart is breaking 😢
- they saved the baby at least
- poor sha're didnt even get to see her son 😔
- bringing the baby back to the grandfather was a good idea😊
- this baby is SO SO cute
- is Daniel a stepdad now. Is he gonna come back and play catch with the kid when hes older. Is he gonna fully adopt him. I want him to fully adopt him
- Jack blaming himself for the reporters death. You gotta stop doing this to yourself man
- black shirt Daniel 👀👀👀👀
- HAHA tealc shoving the jaffa into the vortex lmaooo
- "you dare challenge me?"
"I was thinking about it"
- WHEN JACK GRABS HIS KNIFE REAL QUICK AND SPEARS IT INTO APPOPHIS HAND
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- she definitely saw them and didnt say anything
- "are you alright?"
"No. No im not.........but I will be."
"She looked directly at us, Daniel jackson. And yet she did not reveal our position." YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS LADS. Theres still hope for my girl. She can fight this I believe in her ✊😤
- I will say it again tho. This storyline for her is very fucked up. No excuses, its just a bit over used in sci fi for the women characters to have surprise pregnancies.
~
Whump under the cut
Tealc whump: fought with jaffa
Daniel jackson whump: shocked, emotional, crying, forced kneeling, back handed
Sam carter whump: emotional , crying
🎶listening to You Are The Reason by Calum Scott and Leona Lewis 🎶 in honor of Daniel and sha're making me lose my collective mind
No glasses!Daniel for most of the episode
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intothespideyverses · 7 years
Text
what I imagine going down next season (as a result of everything that happened in sesson 3) warning for discussion of suicide/self-harm:
SHINY
-ok since the whole sex subplot was never really resolved (they SAID they talked but we didnt see shit so) I think this would be a good time to introduce ace!Shay. Now another part of me would also like for shiny to have sex just so esme could stop fucking with m'daughter's head but shay seemed way too opposed to the idea of sex in general (and not in a nervous way, but in a "why would I ever have sex?" kinda way). And maybe once Shay's comfortable with being ace she can just deck esme right in the nose idc idc idc she had it coming! Fuck a $230 skirt bih! Tiny would be weirded out and probably disappointed at first but bc he’s literally the perfect bf he'd come around eventually. Hopefully they could highlight that there are ways to be intimate in a relationship w/o having sex. I just want shiny happiness and for people (lola up until she apologized, esme) to stop going out of their way to make shay feel so insecure and then getting mad at her when she reacts to their bs.
-speaking of which as much as I hate to see her miserable I think shay needs an angsty storyline. She solves her problems so quickly and efficiently, we never even see the emotions she must be going through. i don’t think her being ace would cause her too much stress, she'd do her research for a bit, have a fight with tiny about it (maybe even suggest to keep the relationship open, which would offend tiny) but other than that the real source of angst would come from esme. lets say esme finds out, y’all already know she would never let shay hear the end of it. that, on top of esme being EVERYWHERE and the two of them competing to be both the smartest and most athletic girl in school, would probably really get to shay's psyche. maybe esme goes too far one day, and shay just says fuck it and throws hands?? or maybe she breaks her phone?? idk something rly impulsive bc shay doesn't normally make impulsive decisions. of course esme makes shay out to be the irrational one and shay tries to quit the track team, her grades start slipping, etc etc. esme gets bored without having someone to compete against, or maybe she notices the change in shay's demeanor (and bc of maya’s suicide attempt and her mom) is afraid she pushed shay over the edge. they talk after class one day, esme still being bitchy but by the end a little teary eyed. I think their talk would be reminiscent of anya and holly j in season 8?? 9?? where anya was all like "why are you so mean to me" and hj's like "bc u let me bitch :)" so esme CLEARLY isn't gonna take any real responsibility for bullying shay but shay decides that shes NOT gonna be the bigger person for once. Idk how this would end but I definitely want shay to be more confident by the end, and for esme to learn when to stand down.
-Tiny's line about shay just seeing him as a "good nerd boy" rly stuck out to me. How much does shay know about tiny's past?? This definitely has to be brought up at some point, and I really thought the show would've mentioned that but w/e. Shay probably knows SOMETHING about the gang stuff but not how far it goes, or his family, etc. Tiny has an image that he keeps from everyone else but saves only for shay, which is adorable (they have boggle ((is that like scrabble???)) dates...need me a freak like that) but at some point shays gonna have to see the rest of him. Tiny is tired of shay assuming so much about his intentions too. That and shay not wanting sex period will (in my vision for s4) definitely be the biggest conflicts for shiny, but they'll work through them quickly bc unlike every other couple on this show they actually know how to communicate :)
-also how does tiny feel about the crash?? he looked all the way fucked up when they rushed him into the hospital so...he has to have some sorta trauma from that come on now
TRILES/MOLA
-this is gonna be messy lol. triles and mola are two very polarizing ships so we already kno theres gonna be some mess once tristans back at school. tristan may have been all "okay w/e idc" at the play but we all know once his petty ass is able to speak he's gonna go out of his way to make lolas life living hell. its truly gonna be slutshaming for days, and lets not forget the biphobia. he wont really direct any anger at miles, except tight-lipped quickly concealed bitterness. i can already picture these scenes yall like this is literally what is gonna happen WATCH.
-miles is of course gonna still feel guilty about the whole knocking her up thing, and he rly does love her and values her friendship (their friendship was so cute) so he's gonna want to keep hanging out with her (it’ll start off with just checking up on her every now and then like craig after manny’s abortion, but it’ll grow to miles getting an actual job at lola’s, etc). tristan will be okay with this on the surface but as soon as he and lola are alone (maybe tris is @ the hollingsworth household while lolas there for frankie or hell even miles and miles leaves to get some snacks or something) tristan just lays into her!! on some "you were NOTHING to him" shit. on some "you tried to trap him with a baby" shit!! some “he never loved you, just pitied you” shit!!!! and then tris is all back to smiles the second miles comes back. lola’s on the verge of tears but keeps this to herself cause she doesnt want to start drama so soon after tristan coming back and bc she loves miles too much etc etc. miles of course eventually finds out, and he and tris have the fight of the century where it ALL comes out.
-now I just read a list of PERFECT mola headcanons (by @beach-city-mystery-girl!) that should definitely happen throughout the season! idk if triles will stay together or if mola becomes official but at some point someones gonna be all "make. a. DECISION" at miles so!!
-lola should also find value in being alone and being comfortable with herself. she and yael become genuine friends (bc she needs someone outside of frankie and shay and miles) and form a weird almost symbiotic relationship where they give each other advice on things the other lacks. baaz flips between trying to flirt with her and making insensitive comments about her abortion. lola finally sets him straight for once and for all. 
-maybe something goes down at the restaurant? idk I just started caring about lola’s existence yesterday idk how this goes
-I think frankie eventually finds out that miles and lola hooked up, idk how but she does and she’s not happy about it yikes.
-actually after just reading another great post (by tristanmiligay), a lot of tristan’s insecurities could also lie in the fact that he’s disabled now. maybe miles rly wants to get tris up on his feet again and do something FUN and EXCITING but homeboi literally just got out of a coma and can’t make it, so I can see miles asking lola to go instead (like maybe its a couples thing and he already reserved it or w/e) and that kinda sets tristan off the first time. he’ll probably try to force himself to heal faster, maybe even injuring himself further in the process? he’s gonna have a lot of self-doubt and internalized ableism like the post said :/, and all of that is gonna manifest in hate for lola. 
ZASHA/GRONAH (is that what we're calling it??) 
-okay so this section is kinda tied into the maya section and rly just centered around grace so yeah. but thats mainly bc there wont rly be any drama between zasha (except like normal preparing for college type stuff, like zoe wants to go to some rly good school far away and rasha wants to stay in toronto bc she just got there).
-zoe's pretending to be fine with getting kicked out but its absolutely destroying her on the inside. she and her mom were so close despite everything. zoe starts going thru mad identity issues bc everything about her was sculpted by her mom. if shes not in her life anymore then who is she? she keeps replaying "i love you despite who you are" in her head and its killing her. she sometimes sneaks out of grace's room at night and leaves voice messages on her moms phone (which ms. Rivas never responds to) and ends every night crying on the couch. grace grows super concerned for her but has no idea how to balance both helping maya out and helping zoe. one day at school grace tries to confront zoe about the voicemails but zoe brushes it off and says something cute like "being with rasha makes it all worth it" but grace is still like 👀.
-grace then moves on to trying to help maya but maya is sick and tired of everyone walking on eggshells around her and she tells grace shes fine and that she needs to back off, but grace knows somethings still off. later that day she spots zoe in the student council office trying to call her mom and leaving an angry voicemail, ripping mama rivas to shreds!! "you were never a good mother, a mother who cant love her own daughter shouldnt even be having kids, i hate you, go to hell" type of shit. at the last minute she realizes she doesnt mean half of that (or she does mean it but that scares her) and tries to backtrack but by then the voicemail's already been sent. zoe starts freaking out and crying again and leaves another one like "im sorry I didnt mean any of that please just let me come back. Im sorry, im sorry, im sorry" like just saying sorry over and over again, and grace finally steps in like "sorry for the voicemail or sorry for being gay?" and confronts zoe again. zoe tries to get the attention off of her by asking about maya and grace is like "she's 'fine' just like how you're 'fine'. cut the bs binch" or whatever and zoe breaks all the way down, but before grace can comfort her she sees maya and esme fighting outside the office and she runs out to stop it. zoe, now that shes alone and still crying, contemplates self harming again (im gonna end this here cause this is long enough I deadass would write this whole episode if I could)
-anyway juggling between her upcoming surgery, college apps, and two lowkey suicidal best friends, grace is stressed tf out. this is where gronah steps in lol. i dont care much about jonah but i do know hes much more interesting and likeable when he's with grace. he gives her advice and shit and they go on a bunch of golfing dates, grace maybe takes him to yoga or something, they help each other with college apps, and well gronah happens! jonah basically goes from boring to manic pixie dream boy who tries to show grace that life is worth living and blah blah yall know the drill
-rasha needs a plot outside of zoe and i think her pursuing acting could be a thing!! she goes out to casting calls but every director says something along the line of "we just...envisioned someone else for the role" or "we dont rly think you'd...fit" bc shes muslim and then the one time she gets picked up for a student film, its about a terrorist attack and rasha doesnt realize until she shows up to rehearsal. she goes off on the director (and reminds her that most terrorist attacks are domestic lol) and runs off to goldi and they talk. maybe she tries to write her own webseries (probably with the help of winston) and it becomes a hit!! maybe we could have a probably cheesy as hell famous youtuber plot (and vijay gets jealous lol) and they have some sorta subscriber war where everyones taking sides. baaz, yael, and hunter try to sabotage rasha's show and bc our girl loves scheming she hits them back even harder :).
-also maybe we find out what happens to her friend back in syria? i dont want her to have too many depressing plots so maybe her friend is okay physically but not mentally and she has to deal with that :(
MAYA
-so like I already said maya's done with everyone bullshitting her and being overbearingly nice, so she starts closing herself off. this just makes everyone even more worried tho, so she forces herself back into music and her studies. grace and jonah are all over her, zig always looks guilty as fuck and treats her like a baby, miles forgot she existed but if they pass each other in the hall he'll ask how shes doing, zoe hugs her randomly one day, and esme...esmes the worst one. she starts lowkey stalking maya and its getting on her last nerve.
-she avoids saad like the plague at first, but eventually realizes that he's the only person who doesnt treat her any differently (or so she thinks). they go to the roof one day (cause that shit is never locked no matter how many suicide attempts happened up there) to talk things out, and saad completely switches gears. "what were you thinking??? why would you do that???" type of stuff. maya gets mad at him talks shit about his pictures maybe, idk. saad reminds her that its a coping mechanism after everything that happened in syria, maybe he says he once contemplated too?? idk all the ideas I have are depressing moving on
-one day maya explodes on everyone after she dissapears for a bit (umm maybe she was chosen to perform a song at a school event but, after hearing some girls talking about her suicide attempt in the bathroom, she decides to ditch) bc everyone (grace, jonah, zig, esme, zoe maybe) gang up on her to check if shes okay. she goes off, saying "none of you cared before i tried to kill myself so why care now?" and idk where I was going with this, I want maya happiness and closure but idk how to get there smh.
-uhh she finds hoot! she goes home after school and finds hoot stuffed in the back of her closet. she writes a bittersweet song and after a long talk with her mom, decides to call grace. maybe grace invites her over for a sleepover?? and zoe and maya can finally have a real conversation since The Incident too! Also grace can kinda kill 2 birds with one stone.
FRANKIE'S ANNOYING ASS
-I cant stand this child but shes the writers' baby so she'll get at least 5 main plots next season oh my god. My wishful thinking speaking, but maybe she'll learn its okay to be alone and finally learn to like herself! Hopefully she sees the value in sticking to the sidelines and helping her friends through their issues. Ooh, maybe she learns how to be a good ally after gorillagate and educates her brothers on why their many intolerances are wrong (lbr here, hunter probably uses "triggered" as an insult and continues to call all the refugees "scary", same with miles) BUT come on this is degrassi :) so the writers are probably gonna throw in a new male character for frankie to obsess over. Well, either a newbie or someone completely random thats already in the cast like fucking baaz or saad.
Z*SME
-zig and esme spend a lot of their time obsessing over maya I think, esme bc she sees her mom in maya and zig bc he feels like he made her do it. umm noah fence but i dont rly care about these two so thats all I got lol
if anyone has any specific headcanon requests I’d love some!
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bandwpanda · 5 years
Text
piece of work
[...]
“Jake?” Lottie said, looking at his soft eyes and the bright smile, whereas he was dying inside.
“Yes?”
“I thought you were sleeping.”
“No, Sam said I’d slept for fourteen hours, it was enough for me.”
“How long do you usually sleep?”
“Well, that depends, but at most nights I sleep for like... maybe three hours, sometimes I don’t sleep at all.”
“Jake, you know that it’s wrong, right?”
“Yeah, I tried to change it, but I couldn’t, I can’t sleep.”
“Oh, baby.” Lottie said with tearful voice, pushing Jake’s weak body closer to hers, and hugging him tighter. “Please, don’t do that to yourself.”
“I don’t do anything, I just have severe sleeping issues.”
“You’re too thin, Jakey. Your cheeks are more... concave? When did you eat anything last time? And, please, don’t lie, I’m here to help you.”
Inside his broken heart and lost soul he knew that Lottie, the love of his life, was right. He could not keep lying about his eating disorder, self-harm, depression and suicidal thoughts that he has been having for about two years. Suddenly he felt guilty, what his eyes showed.
“Jakey?” she attracted his attention. “Tell me, what’s really going on?”
“I- I don’t know.”
“Jake, please.”
“I’m serious, Lottie.” Jake tried to hide his tearing up eyes, as he knew that it was not a good move to cry in the front of Lottie, because in that case she would find the truth about him out. “Everything is just fine.”
“Oh, honey, then why are you crying?” she wiped the tear streaming down his pale face. “Please, don’t lie. This one time, please.”
“I just- it's too complicated... And I- I don’t know what’s ha- happening to me.” Jake closed his eyes, and so many tears appeared on his concave cheeks.
Lottie kept holding his tiny body in her arms, but when she saw the first tears, she wanted to cry, too. For her it was a broken-hearting view. Lottie swayed him carefully, as she knew that it was one of the things that were able to calm him down, especially if she was with him during the cry, panic attacks or something even worse.
“Baby, you’re safe.” she whispered to Jake, when he tightened his fist on the material of her shirt.
“I know.” he barely said. “Just take this pain away from me.” he muttered.
“Shh, you’re safe, I’m here.” Lottie kept rocking him in the way like she was rocking a baby to sleep.
It took Jake a long time to calm down, what ended up him falling asleep in Lottie’s arms. He was, finally, breathing peacefully, even though the skin around his eyes, nose and cheeks was flushed and swollen. Lottie covered him with a warm, light blanket.
Around 6PM Lottie went to Sam’s and Danny’s room, leaving Jake alone in his bedroom.
“How’s Jake?” Sam asked when he noticed Lottie coming in.
“Well, he’s sleeping. He’s been crying for over three hours and couldn’t calm down so let him sleep.” the girl explained. “He’s very tired, thin and weak. Does he even eat anything?”
“Mostly, I think so. If he doesn’t... Well, he’s good at hiding emotions and feelings in that case... I don’t know, he usually eats something, especially when he’s with us.” Josh said after a moment of thinking.
“Oh, okay, well, he’s too skinny and small, that’s why I’m asking.”
“I know, we’re all worried about him.”
“I know. I just... I could feel and see his ribs and hips. He looks literally like a walking corpse. God... I don’t want to go to his funeral.”
“None of wants it to happen.” Sam said, looking at Ariana. “That’s the last thing I want to attend to.”
“Me neither.” Josh agreed with his younger brother. “Well, let’s talk about something different than this.”
“Let’s talk about music!” Ariana said louder than she should, what only highlighted her attitude.
“Sure, why not.” Danny nodded. “So, the Grammys?”
“Don’t tell me! No, stop right there.” Ariana moved her hand on Sam’s. “No, no, no.”
“Why? You wanted to start it?” Josh was surprised but not disappointed that much.
“She has a huge crush on Ariana Grande.” Lottie explained. “That’s why. She couldn’t stop talking about her and the Grammys two days ago.” she laughed lightly.
“I see.”
Ariana’s cheeks became flushed.
~~~~
Three days later Josh, Jake, Sam, Danny, Ariana and Lottie were to Los Angeles. It was because of the situation connected to Jake and his bad mood and mental health, of course Lottie was very concerned about it. She would never let him to go anywhere alone, which he understood. Her company was making him happier than he could ever imagine.
At boys’ house Lottie helped Jake to unpack his bags, and after it, when he was in the bathroom doing bathroom toilettes, she began preparing a meal, light enough for his damaged stomach.
“I’m back.” Jake came to the spacious kitchen. “What are you doing?”
“You have to eat something, so I’m preparing a very light meal for you.”
“I told you already, I don’t want to eat.”
“But you have to.”
“No, Lottie.”
“Yes, Jake, you’re too skinny, I can see your ribs and hips, and to be honest, your condition scared me.” she responded with a very harsh tone of voice. “If you won’t eat, then I’m fucking out, because I really can’t stand your talking about not being hungry, even if I fucking can hear your stomach, the fuck are you thinking about?! Do you seriously want everyone to be worried about you and your shitty condition?! What dream are you living in?! I’m fucking out if you won’t touch this meal. Not everything is about you! I’m trying to make you feel better and you still can’t look at the fucking food. I cared about you, I stayed up all night with you, just because you wanted to talk about some stupid things that don’t even matter to me even though I all I wanted to do was going to sleep. I paid you all my fucking attention, just because you can’t notice that you’re important to me. And still, you keep acting like a whole dick and can’t understand that we’re also scared. They won’t tell you that, they don’t want you to know that they’re scared to a fucking death of losing you.”
Jake looked down on his bare feet, as his hands were playing with each other. He knew Lottie was right, but could not admit it. His eyes teared up.  
“I’m tired of your shit. Keep doing that and you’ll going to end up dead in the fucking bath.” she added and left the kitchen.
Jake was guilty. He felt like this, but he would never use his friends or brothers to feel sorry for him. It was the right time to rebuild his mental health, and health in general.
The boy sat down on the chair, thinking about his best friend’s words. And now, because of him she was gone. Of course, not out of his life, although he had that feeling.
Lottie sat on the cold floor in the bathroom and hid her face in her hands. He overreacted, and accidentally hurt one of the most important people in her life, but she was right.
Twenty minutes later she came downstairs to the kitchen, noticed Jake sitting on one of the chairs in the dining room.
“Can we talk?” she asked, coming up to him.
“I think you’ve done it for both of us...”
“Jake, no, you know that I’m never tired of you.”
“Actually... I know, you’ve said enough. There’s nothing we can talk about.”
“There is. Well, firstly, you deserve an apology. I shouldn’t have said those words, I didn’t mean it.”
“I know you, Lottie, I’ve known you for a solid part of my life. Now just... leave me alone.”
“Jake...”
“I said something. I don’t want to talk to you for now.”
Jake got up and went upstairs straight to his bedroom, laid on the bed and covered his whole body with a blanket, which smelled like Lottie, what caused him to think about her. He took an album full of their pictures, some of them were took surprisingly out of nowhere when none of them expected it, some were like those amazing photoshoots for Calvin Klein. He felt that little spark called happiness inside his broken heart, and he smiled. That was a beautiful moment.
“Jake?” Lottie stood in the doorpost, watching his behaviour.
“What do you want this time? Yell at me? Well, do it.” he responded sarcastically, and she rolled her eyes.  
“I don’t want to yell at you, not again, you didn’t deserve it.”
“Nevermind. What do you want?”
“I just wanted to check on you.”
“I’m still, somehow, alive.”
“You know I didn’t mean this.” she sat next to him on his bed. “Why are you looking at our old pictures?” she took a peek at one of the mentioned pictures. In this one was her and Jake in the middle of the woods, taken probably in their high school. “I remember this.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, you were fifteen then.” she laughed.
“So were you, honey.”
“I know, I’m not that old.”
“I missed this.” he claimed after few seconds of silence between them.
“What? The laugh?”
“Yes, I missed your laugh.”
“That’s so cute.”
“I know.” he laughed again.
Jake pushed her closer to him, and she wrapped her arms around Jake’s waist and lied her head on his chest.
“Do you have more albums of us?”
“I have some pictures of us with Ariana, Sam, Josh and Danny.”
“Aww that’s sweet.”
She looked at Jake’s bright eyes. The sparks were dancing in their eyes, while looking at each other. He kept her close to him, and she did not take her arms. Jake placed his hand on her cheek, and kissed her very gently. Lottie kissed him back. They opened their eyes in order to look at each other, once again. Bright smiles were true ones, without faking any second of this delicate moment. Jake wished this moment could last forever.
“You’re sweet.” Jake whispered against her face.
“Aww, no, you’re sweeter.”
“No.”
“You’re sweet when you’re trying to deny some facts.”
“Okay, let’s be it.” Jake smiled.
“Can we talk?”
“We’re talking now.”
“Yeah, I know, but seriously... Like... Serious talk?”
“Okay.”
“Are you making yourself starve?”
Jake’s eyes became more serious than barely seconds before, and darkened.
“Wha- What do you mean?”
“Well, at the hotel, two days ago, I was thinking about it, and I connected the facts in my mind. You’re very skinny, I can see and feel your ribs and hips, literally a lot of your bones, and you don’t want to eat anything, despite the fact that I can hear your stomach, but also, you’re weak and boys told me that you keep passing out after a lot of psychical effort, including playing on the stage and that sometimes you have to hold on to something in order not to fall down on the floor.”
“Oh.” he did not have enough bravery inside to admit that Lottie was right. Lowkey he hoped she will not notice his uncertainty. However, he did not want to disappoint her.
He looked down on his hands wrapped around Lottie’s waist, hugging her, but his mind and thoughts were somewhere far away than Los Angeles. On the other hand, she was staring at his scared eyes. In that moment she found out the truth and answers to her questions she had been asking long, long before.
“Uhm... I- Well...” he started slowly, as he could not find the proper words to say something, and his eyes were showing the lost.
“You don’t have to answer to my question if you don’t want to.” Lottie placed her hand on his left cheek, what caused Jake to look at her. “I can see that you feel lost.”
“I just... I had some problems.”
“That’s alright. I won’t push you to your limits. I know that damaged people need some time to admit that there’s something wrong with themselves. You need time, I see.”
“No, Lottie. I need you, you know? It’s always been you.” he said on one breath. “It’s always been you.” the boy repeated his own words. “I just- Well, I- It all is connected to you.”
“What? Why?”
“Remember that one day in our high school when we went to San Francisco instead of going to our classes?” Lottie nodded gently, still looking at the boy, who kept talking. “Then we almost kissed on that bridge. I didn’t forget. Then I knew... I fucking knew that I- I actually loved you.” a single tear ran down Jake’s pale cheek only to be wiped by the girl, who was listening very carefully.
Lottie opened her eyes wide, not being able to say anything. That was too much for her to take at once. It was not only the fact that he admitted to having eating disorders, being depressed, but also that he loved her. The girl who was always independent, cared only about herself, excluding important people in her life, but still, she would not find this secret out if she were not sitting right here on the bed with the right person after talking to other people, even if it was on the phone or texts. Her face was showing surprise, a big one. That confession was not exactly the one she has ever expected.
“You... Jake...” Lottie whispered, trying to find right words to say.
“I love you, Lottie.”
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