#and everytime im like NOW MOVING ON-

[bloomingbluebell]

20 seconds is not enough time for my AuDHD brain to ramble!!!! aaaaa!!!!!!!!!!

#i hate this presentation format so much sobs #GIVE ME NORMAL POWERPOINT!!!!!!!!!! #it doesnt even switch at exactly 20 seconds i need to check that out #because im using the timer in presenter mode to know how much time i have until the slide changes #and everytime im like NOW MOVING ON- #its too much time to get my speaker notes out but not enough time to ramble #LET ME RAMBLE!!!!!!!!!! #LET ME SPILL TEA ON HOW THE ANTI-AGING INDUSTRY SUCKS ASS AND IS JUST CONTRIBUTING TO AGEIST RHETORIC AROUND #OLDER PEOPLE'S APPEARANCES!!!!!!!! #AAAAAAAAAAAA #(for context this is about an assignment that i've been fighting with for a month now) #(for my health and aging course) #(fortunately this is the last class for the semester and then i have finals starting on monday) #(tuesday technically. but monday is day 1 of finals week) #(i just don't have anything on monday other than reviewing organic chem) #right. the format for the presentation is 20 slides and 20 seconds per slide #so its just enough time to say my thing and then move on #and my format is like. typical powerpoint format.

[jils-things]

SKADJKAJFKSFSAA content warning: embarrassing moment during my dinner out... /lh

#so - my dinner party right? while eating - i couldnt help but notice the waiters that attend to our tables were... young and nice looking #SAGFHHJAHJGSDSAGAS LISTEN JUST LISTEN #one of them stood out to me - he just looked.. really good looking #i promise you i dont fall easily irl -- but this guy just caught my attention #he had the whole waiter outfit though it was more casual - i frowned noticing that he didnt have a nametag on like the other workers ASDDJA #everytime i passed by - i would glance at him and just.. idk appreciate him adjsahsjfksfs im so sorry if this sounds weird HELPLASDAWHA #he just kept visiting our table since there were many of us and i would just smile when he pops up #now when everyones done eating - he would pick up their plates and bro. he took one plate in front of me and i was not ready for it SDFGSHF #picked up the dish next to my sister and i was like ASDAHFJSDAGSD (BREATHE) #BUT YOU KNOW WHAT GOT WORST? (OR BEST?) #IT WAS GETTING LATE. THE RESTARAUNT WAS CLOSING UP AND THE WAITERS KINDA SLOWED DOWN WITH THEIR PACE #they were moving the chairs back in order. the guy i like decides to sit down. and hes there. just breathing #SUDDENLY HE STARTS TO REMOVE HIS BOWTIE AND I WAS LIKE.OH OKAY OKAY. OH #i thought that was it BUT THEN NOOOO HE UNDOES TWO OF HIS BUTTONS AND I SAW HIS COLLAR BROOO I WANTED TO GO HOME SO BAD #AND THEN WE WOULD ACCIDENTALLY MAKE EYE CONTACT WHAT KINDA FUCKIN WATTPAD STORY IS THISSSSSSSS #I WAS SO . EMBARRASSED BUT ALSO LIKE AKSJDAKJFS WHY IS HE SO FINE HHHRRR #i was legit praying to just think back to steven like i dont know how to handle this genuinely ahjdfksafhsfsa #what a day that was...... #~ rambling #man i hope this never happens to me again /lh

[enden-k]

Discussion was a few days ago (I'm late to the party), but can verify: Zhongchi in Youn's style is highest quality! The most beautiful of this entire website, definitely worth digging down to it and indulging in it (shame that only limited amount of it now, but everybody better respect Youn's choice or you bouta catch these hands!)

Youn's style is prettiest style, full vibes, very feeling, best content <3 <3

i wouldnt say its highest quality or the most beautiful. thank you for thinking so tho, and that you like those

if no one minds can we just move on with this topic......ppl constantly bringing up zc and how they like this stuff and praise it and miss it or anything kinda feels like im disappointing with the things i currently draw and that make me happy and bring me life (which is silly bc i only draw what i like and want and not what others want or expect me to do so i shouldnt think about this disappointment thing but uknow)

if anyone misses zc, i rlly suggest looking for zc artist to follow and not me bc i def dont want to draw them anytime soon

ever since i draw hkvthm i feel joy in drawing again and actually like how my art turns out; im flooded with too many ideas even and also love using colors (which stressed me out before) even my friends pointed out the change in my hkvthm doodles, that you can see and feel how much i love and enjoy what i do

before that i had too may art blocks and no motivation. just thinking about zc makes me feel the mood i was in at the end of it. endlessly tired and no motivation or energy. constantly forcing myself to draw smth, anything. thats not how you should do art. thats why i dont want to draw them anymore and there wont be any zc of me in the next time.

saying this directly so ppl will understand, is not directed at you. its in general.

#im glad you guys like my zc stuff but pls can we stop bringing them up #you might not push me saying it directly or even intending it but this kinda feels like theres an underlying #'so beautiful and pretty and amazing-- saying this in hopes it makes u want to draw them again soon' #which is prob just my brain being stupid but if different ppl keep saying this now it kinda does feel like that #anw thankyou you like them sm and think of it as pretty etc i dont wanna come off as ungrateful #its just a little bit too much about art and ship i feel tired about and want to move away from for a while #sorry and hope no one is upset or smth wasnt my intention #i just rlly need to voice my general displeasure everytime i see their name pop up in my inbox #reply #tbd

[mxwhore]

theres so much to hate about this man im

#my uncles misogyny is like a reflex and im having a hard time holding my tongue #everytime a woman with a slightly unique disposition shows up he goes “slut” almost unthinkingly #i had a really bad day and he made a comment right now and i had to hold myself back from killing him #the news were on and they were talking about a really big international cartel doing people trafficking and he snorted and said #theyre whores not people #i had a vase right in front of me and i kinda blacked out and imagined myself smashing him in the head with it #i despise him so much i swear to god living with my grandma wouldnt be so bad if it was just the two of us #i need to move out before i do something i regret #im doing a very good job holding my tongue if i do say so myself. but the horrors

[healingheartdogs]

The nice thing about having two really intelligent dogs is that they watch us interact with each other and learn things that way all the time. Rest/stay is not something I've really worked on with Eevee other than at doorways and baby gates because my dogs aren't allowed to rush entries and exits for safety reasons, but we use it with Hermes in lots of different contexts multiple times a day every day and his rest is very solid and generalized. Just a few minutes ago I told Hermes to rest so I could clean something up without him getting in the way or stepping in it but without specifying that I was talking only to him and Eevee also froze in place with him, stopped moving completely, and then eventually laid down (position switching is allowed during rest for my dogs just not directional movement, plus she's baby and I didn't actually mean to tell her to rest anyway so IDC regardless) still in her spot watching me clean and didn't break until I gave her a treat and released her along with him. I was cheering mentally for her the entire time but trying to contain my reaction until I gave them their release cue so she didn't get excited and break the rest before I was done cleaning because I've never used that command in that kind of situation with her before. She's so smart and good though, I love herrrrr

#i compare myself a lot to other non-disabled dog trainers and it makes me feel like my dogs are untrained messes a lot of the time #but then my dogs do something smart every now and then that reminds me that we do actually train small stuff daily like this #and I'm like oh yeah these are still the best trained dogs I've ever known IRL esp compared to the pet people I know #Hermes especially has a LOT of stuff I've taught him forever ago when i was in better health that he still remembers now #despite a lack of refresher training for a lot of it #and everytime he does something to remind me im like... oh shit i forgot youre actually smart as fuck and pretty well trained bro #like we havent worked on Hermes' emergency down/down at a distance in a long ass time #but a couple weeks ago Selene told Hermes to down from a distance and understandably at first he moved closer to her to down #so she started to indicate that was not what she wanted and before he was halfway to her or she even finished telling him #he turned himself around #went back to the EXACT spot he had been standing in #turned around again to face her in that spot #and then laid down and waited for her to come to him with the treat #literally haven't worked on that in years and wasnt expecting him to remember it #to the point where i was about to correct selene for even asking for it when we havent done it in so long without refresher training first #and then he DID IT #i love my dogs a lot and they're smart af thats it thats the TLDR

[yuridovewing]

maybe its just cause i stopped reading during avos but im so tempted to just nuke most of the post oots background characters and just do my own nextgen style au

#most of the important cats like alder and spark will remain and some nextgen kids will take up important spots #but im sorry. i dont give a fuck about blossomfalls kids #everytime i get to that generation when i start conceptualizing family trees my eyes go into my head #and like i also wanna make the dark forest battle more devastating and change the victims #bramblestar will lose a few lives here i know that #ferncloud and sorreltail are living out of spite on my end lmao. killing their husbands instead #the greencough deaths are getting moved here cause like. wow what a gutless decision #im thinkingggg icecloud and hazeltail have their kit but icecloud dies here #hazeltail lives til avos #graystripe dies here instead of tbc. dustpelt too. actually might nix sandstorm too so all of the og apprentice group is gone #kinda marking oots as the true end of an era #lets see who else. spiderleg since he got a boring death anyways. biiiirchfall? cinderheart is presumed dead but she goes missing #hollyleaf has been dead all along really but shes confirmed dead in this book #now that i think about it this doesnt change a ton of the new family tree but like.... ok i still wanna overhaul it sdklfjksldfdsf #yuriverse

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ay ay ay. i dont wanna do my job so bad. it makes me so unhappy also i fucked up a thing by letting someone take part of a culture when i #shouldnt have. it happened so many months ago that i fucking forgot abt it and then the person emailed me abt when we received the stain and #i thought it was someone from another project so i cc'd my boss who was like. wait. what the fuck is this? and now its like oops sorry but #like wtf am i supposed to do abt it now? she askrd me to take some when i was rushing out of someone else's lab and i was like what? sure. #whatever i dont give a fuck i feel like im dying every second i stand in this room. i didnt even think to ask to share it which is what i #should have done. oops. cant do anything abt it now other than feel abt abt causing drama between labs. ugh. #i just wanna cut all ties with my old work. theres no joy there. only pain and anger. which makes it hard to work with it but the sooner i #do. the sooner i dont have to fucking deal with it anymore. ugh. also i really need to find a therapist but my insurance changes in like 18 #days so i might as well wait for the semester to start. ugh. like i can feel the pull of my bad habits trying to drag me down and i dont kno #how to stop them. like its weird. i noticed while my parents were here. they can just do things and enjoy stuff. and everytime i do #something i feel like im holding my breath the entrie time waiting for it to be over and for what? its not like i had other stuff to do #i just needed to kno when things were gonna end and i dont deal well with flexible situations. which makes it hard to do things. so its #like do i succumb to my control freak lil bubble of not doing anything and being miserable or do things outside my comfort zone and be #miserable? one of those things is way easier. plus i dont even kno anyone here so its like wtf do i do? #try to make friends with my sometimes roommate maybe. i just need to corner her and be like hey i need to establish a dialog with u so i can #tell u that if i seem like a weird hermit im not trying to b standoffish i just dont kno how to do human interaction well. can we b friends? #id like to b friends but if i dont talk now then ill get stuck not talking ever. which is whats happened with past roommates... god my 1st #roommate must have thought i was so fucking weird. ugh. point is. these bad habits must stop. and i really need to get work done so i can #never think abt that shit ever again. at least now that ive moved i can run up the side of a mountain when im frustrated #unrelated

[criticaaaaaaaal]

#see my blog was never intended to be . like . seen by people? thats why its so gross #i tag Nothing. i only tag what i want to tag. i still have the mindset of what i used to be *checks watch* 9 months ago? i think? #i had under 100 followers most if not all being friends and mutuals #and then i made the mistake of posting art. sigh #this still carries over to the fact id Like to move blogs because this ones gotten. way too big #lesson learned for anyone on tumglblr: if you post anything like art or fanfic MAKE IT A SIDE BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!! #do NOT do what i did. not the main blog. mistake #i used to make sideblogs everytime i got a new main interest but when i got into toh i stopped. idk why. but im stuck here now #if i DO move blogs i'll post about it. it'll prob be a quieter move but yeah it'll happen #im just procrastinating cus all my junk is already HERE #so like. why move. yknow? #i do genuinely love & appreciate the support. people have been very kind to me #i appreciate it a lot #i also just know from experience i am not someone that should have any sort of following on anything. i take it horribly #like. i used to be an active twitter artist for a year and that was HORRIBLE. ppl didnt just want art they wanted my opinions and my biases #i couldnt breath without 5 people asking me things #horrible life to live lol i like tumblr more #i started on tumblr and i moved back. im glad #anywhoo enough rambling i guess. if i move ill let people know! if i dont. well youll know cus im still here #ugh if i move i have to reblock my tags n people blaaaaugh #okey ill talk to you people later

[mrswhymrhow]

some of you were here when i was really into tmbg and that other band everyone hates when people talk about. idk how the people who followed me and didnt like those things found me enjoyable but. im a new man (listens to music that isnt just geek rock)

#now i just occassionally remember jonathan coulton and smile and move on. like im a new man #i was never a son of god guy though. i was into. snaps fingers what was it called #LETS GET THIS OVER WITH. that ome got me everytime. i still think its good

[devildairymilkfairy]

.

#man im really tired of having feelings for him. i should really just keep my distance and go back to dating apps #i long for the connection we have and hate having to build up something brand new #but im really tired of feeling butt hurt everytime he sleeps with our roommate #like yeah we broke up over a year ago. and still casually do shuff. its just hard for me to turn off that side of my brain #i just want to feel loved and be held by someone without having to build the foundation all over again #ive been depressed the past few days because of it. i act irrationally and cant control my feelings #overall its better if i just let them fuck around and i try to find someone new. only problem is im anxious and not a good conversationalist #plus i hate messaging people over phone. too much anxiety abt what im saying and if the other person enjoys me or not #anyways it sucks seeing the subtle evidence that they went at it while i was away. i have no right to be upset but i cant help but think of #him as more than a friend. i cant and shouldnt but we had dated 6 years previously. its a bit difficult to turn that switch off now #dammit i guess tonight im gonna sleep alone again and try not to cry. whatever gotta get over myself and move on. have to stop only thinking #of my self and being so damn possessive all the time #ash rambles #fuck i feel worse now after typing all that out yippee..

[wetslug]

ok actually going insane rn

#my roommate is Unstable and i knew this but for some reason ignored that like an idiot #and now 3 months into our lease she wants to leave ASJKASJDSIDJSID #hello ............................... #it is because... a homeless guy was harassing her on the bus which she takes to our house #which is scary yea but the actual neighborhood itself is safe #if she moves everytime she has a bad experience within a certain proximity she will b moving every 3 months #this may make me a bad person but im handling all the finances and landlord issues and all that goddamn shit so its a huge slap in the face #that she goes back on her promises so easily without even considering how it effects the ppl who u know. also pay rent

[sludgeguzzler]

man i wish i was a videogame guy

#i wish was a little fight game sprite so people would make little edits of me saying cringe shit like ''you just got!!!! jaked [smirk cat] #id be called the jaker #and my fight moves would be like punching and kicking #and id be agility based but also id have this. clumsy energy about me. #like everytime i landed after jumping my animation would show me almost falling back #like as if i am One Move from just tripping over my own feet #thatd be dope i think #sorry existing rn is so damn painful for some reason like sure im vibing and i dont feel overtly suicidal #but i do think becoming a lizard would solve my problems #anyways i wanna draw myself as a fight game character now :/ i dont even play fight games :// i just think itd be :///// so dope #sg.txt

[wall-e-gorl]

I'd give anything to have spent my whole life in one house

#i dont want to move again #we need to but its always an awful time #everytime we move i lose all my friends and have to start over from nothing and good god i dont want to do that again #i dont even have the safety net of school for it now #did you know that the room i have now is the only one thats been Mine and the only one that i decorated. #im just 21. i only decorated it when i was like 19 because i was going insane from staring at the same blank walls #ive been so hesitant to get new things or do new things because it feels like as soon as i do we will leave #i havent started the college process half cause of debt fear and half cause of horror stories about credits not transferring #i know its not good to pause your life out of fear but what else can i do. make more work for later and waste money?? absolutely not #anyway. day just got ruined this morning. itll be fine. rant over #no need to reply or anything i just wanted to get it out

[toytulini]

god i still couldnt watch final destination tbh

#toy txt post #i remember walking in to my mom and her friend watching one of the paranormal activity movies? and being like #well this isnt that bad yall are just screaming everytime the camera moves at all which is frankly more startling than the movie #and i was like oh maybe i could watch horror actually #and then i think i watched either an entire ir at least part of a final destination movie and that specifically. bad for my brain lmao #im STILL haunted by that god fuck i will NEVER get lasik fuck that #idc how unrealistic or not actually scary it doesnt matter u see cos similar to the spn mirror episode #it was really scary in a way that imprinted itself on my little teenage brain so even if it is objectively Not That Scary. #what i remember it being is scary even if that memory is proven to be embellished. its like. well. we already thought up the scary image #lets just be scared anyway just in case lmaoooo #brains can be so fascinatingly stupid #anyway its good i never watch more of those movies than i already did tbh bc i could drive myself bananas with that content #i do find it interesting finding out which like horror tropes or types or whatever i Cannot deal with and whatever final destination has #going on is one of them i think cos i also couldnt deal w the fate ep of spn very well which had a similar vibe #of like. freak accidents that no amount of being careful couldve prevented or smth. idk #like in that log pic below this one #yea the logs cant hit u dead on now but like there could still be a freak shit to happen that could lead to the logs killing u

[aliengirl]

gave my studies a break to makeover teen mel's room, and it is looking like someone eat the pastel pop kit and threw up on it

#nothing #ill obsessed #couldn't finish the twins room btw #yes they are kids now #i literally had three birthdays in a roll #i aged up mel some time ago actually #but everytime i opened the game i would makeover her or one of her friends #or the twins #and still i was missing her room #i will tell a secret: #there isnt so much pics of her kid room after they move out #bc i didnt liked her room #i made it over like three times #and gave up #but now im obsessed with her teen one #so yeah #life is good #when i erase of my mind that i need to study for the #second part of the national exam #that will define if i will be able to enter a college #or if i will need to try again next year #i really dont want to not be able to go to university #bc or i get enough points in that exam #or i will be a failure and have to spend a whole year doing nothing until i cam take the exam again #ok not #i would find a job #but still #ok i talked too much #if you are reading this i love u #nonsims

[immamapletreekid]

green guys in fe3h my beloveds

#this ones for u lin *sobs* #im trying to recruit him i need to up my skill morre disjsbwkdlfjaks #i actually did not know that byleth and seteth have an ending until i was digging through the wiki a few nights ago in a trance #lin.linny. linlin linnyhardt lin hes in line for second funniest fe3h character after hubie #ignatz. my boy. sweetie. oh my gosh latches onto the kid who loves art #me slowly nurturing my doe eyed deer children and adopted eagle children #into. well. they can certainly reduce enemy hp to 0 very efficiently now #this ones for u hilda *tries to do some cool move but falls and makes a pathetic mess* #i love her everytime she swings that axe i feel lightheaded #this was originally dedicated to the green people of fe3h but now it is also to all my beloved deer #claude...claude... oh claude *sobs* #raph is. such a good kid omg hes jusf such a go o d person like pls may you influence the others more #lysithea is currently like. my one shot unit *gestures at her with tears in eyes* isnt she amazing #okokok but adopted deers that i havent all recruited yet but. i am getting to it pls #ive been spamming the gifts i thinj ive giveb lin like at least 5 owl festhers #ive already recruited sylvain bc im not going to pass up the free chance to save one of them #ashe is. coming soon im just trying to milk any and all skills from faculty training. and also spamming gifts #felix i will drag him to deer by his pathetic ponytail #and caspar is coming too bc im not leaving him alone since lin is coming #look if i had the time and energy id recruit dorothea and bernadetta and ferdinand too but i d ont #every time i explore the monastery i find hubert and just. stand beside him for a bit #oh what could have been. choosing black eagles next time #rambling about stuff #rambling about fe #man ive had this game for two weeks and the brainworms have taken over #speedrunning claudeleth support as much as one can speedrun claudeleth support im still academy phasr #enjoying the semi peaceful times. eating food with my faves i must cook a meal eith ashe ehenever i can #its jusf so satisfying watching them slowly get mire and more powerful anf their bonds grow stronger and stronfger