#BUT YOU KNOW WHAT GOT WORST? (OR BEST?)

[tswwwit]

I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way but i recently reread the entire familiar au (its as amazing as always!) and its so impressive to see how far you have come as a writer especially compared to the new cult au its honestly pretty inspiring

Thank you! It's truly nice to hear that I've made progress. I mean, obviously - hopefully - I would have after all this time, but sometimes the improvement is hard to see when you're so close to it.

#answers #I've been tempted at times to just take down some of my really old stuff #Because I am very 😬 when I reread it #But I think it stands as a nice relic/testament to how I've grown as a writer #In that I only roll around in agony about 90% of the time reading current writing now as opposed 575% with the old stuff #It feels like I don't know what I'm doing at any given time #But presumably I've learned SOMETHING #And my writing is not The Worst™ #Funny how the baseline changes as skill changes because it's hard to remember sometimes that yes #Skill has improved!! #I say as I stare at this document with severe doubts and worry and agony #Nothing like looking at a 5k doc and going 'yeah this is only halfway to the end at BEST' #There is so much more yet to complete #Also super nice to hear that the cult thing is good to read #It's got a lot more visuals than my usual so I'm pushing my comfort zone #I am Not A Visual Person so that takes some Effort #All of these tags have been very navelgazing so here's a fun fact #If *I* can get better at writing by doing it for a long time #YOU can do it TOO and BETTER #It just takes - again - a lot of writing to get there

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

favourite twdg villain?

I'm a fond enjoyer of the St. John's as villains. I don't know if they're my favorite just because they're only in one episode, but I love the concept of this family almost immediately jumping into cannibalism toward the start of the outbreak, dealing in human flesh to bandits, and casually feeding this group their friend's legs.

Like... what the hell was this family like before the outbreak that all three of them were like, "Hey now listen... nothing should go to waste, the dead are eating people so why shouldn't we? We gotta survive and in our defense, we only target those who were gonna die anyway... like y'all."

Dude, Mark was shot in this shoulder with an arrow. He wasn't going to die from that injury. It's so fucked that these seemingly friendly people took the group into their home and then fed them Mark's legs.

If we take the idea that everyone is infected and have the capacity within themselves to become walkers, to become monsters, then the St. John's were infected long before the outbreak, y'know? Not literally, but something was wrong with them and the outbreak just further spread that infection and changed them.

But again, are they my favorite? I dunno if I can say that since I have a lot more appreciation for Lily now. Yeah, some of her writing gets a little wonky in ep3 of TFS when she goes on her monologues and shit, but y'know what? I'm into it.

You have to remember who we're talking about and the fact that she's the antagonist; Lily isn't some anti-hero in TFS who secretly has a heart of gold that's brought to light because she reunited with Clementine... she's a fucked up woman who did fucked up things in the name of survival. She's full of rot now. She sees kidnapping children and turning them into soldiers to protect her home as a means to an end, but she doesn't actually give a shit about the people she's taking. They aren't people to her, they're as the episode title suggests, toys in her game. The only one she sees as a person is Clementine, and while that makes her hesitate at first, she sees Clementine's a prize to bring back.

She remembers what happened in S1; her father had a heart attack and as she tried to save him, Kenny smashed his face in with a saltlick and then expected Lily to just stand up and help him get back to his family because "he did what he had to, he made the hard choice." Yes, Larry was a piece of shit. No one liked him, and you can even question Lily on him and she'll tell you that he has a lot of pain. Yes, it makes him an asshole, but he's still her dad and he's all she has. I mean... the simplification is daddy issues, but in all seriousness, I don't doubt for a second that many of Lily's issues stem from Larry being a shitty father to her.

Then everyone thought she was losing it when she insisted there was a traitor in the group, which she was right about, but she was unstable. She was unwell, but how do you help someone like that when you don't have training to go about it? Then Lily ends up killing either Carley or Doug and the group turns on her, and either she's left behind or she steals the van and runs away.

Then we don't know what the hell happened to her until we see her again in TFS, but like... a lone woman with decay festering inside of her joining the delta? Exposing her to their methods? I mean, what else did she have to lose? She had nothing, she lost everything, and she has a lot of issues. Survival is easy when you're numb, when you don't care about the individual; they're all just cogs churning to make the system run, and if a piece doesn't cooperate, you get rid of it and find a new one.

Plus I think there's something to say about Lily not wanting to be perceived as weak again. That whole display she put on in the cells? Telling the story of what happened to Minerva and Sophie? I get the criticism that it feels like Lily did a 180 between episodes but like... yeah dude, because it's a performance. It's not just her and Clementine anymore. It's a display of power and authority. She's playing the part and thriving in it as she ensures everyone else is terrified of her.

But then when Clementine and AJ get the upper hand? Again, she's not afraid to play up the pleading to earn enough sympathy to spare her- hell, just to let their guard down enough to strike and get the upper hand again. I mean, she's got nothing else to lose, right? If she doesn't go for it, she'll be killed and sure, you can kill her anyway but at least she tried.

Honestly, I look at Lily in TFS and still see that scared little girl playing the tough bitch, just like Carley said in S1. It's just now escalated from "tough bitch" to a downright vile person. She's so... lost? I suppose? Lost within herself and the monstrous means she's taken to survive.

I get the criticisms of how she was used in TFS, but for me, it's like when people complain about Minerva not getting the redemption arc she supposedly should've gotten, y'know? There's no saving her. Lily was never on our side, and there was no getting her on our side. She wasn't ever going to redeem herself. Even if you spare her and she drifts away on her raft, can someone like her actually find redemption? Or will she just find another group that'll feed into her rot?

Truly, I say let her be horrid. Let her be the piece of shit villain with a few fleeting moments of humanity. Let her drown in the blood she's spilled.

#asks #twdg lily #twdg andy st john #twdg danny st john #twdg brenda st john #twdg clementine #twdg minerva #twdg mark #twdg larry #twdg kenny #i know i used to complain about lily in tfs a lot years ago but past cj complained about everything tbh sksksks #now i'm just like babe lily's interesting as shit like not every villain needs a redemption arc just because you think they're hot #and don't wanna feel bad or because you want her to be like she was in s1 when she was sympathetic like... it's been years #that's like being mad that clementine isn't the same person as she was in s1... the difference is we got to see clementine grow #but what happened to lily is a mystery... but that doesn't mean she didn't change especially for the worst #i dunno sometimes i look at lady antagonists in media and then look at people's reactions and i'm like.......... hmmmm #c'mon now- if kenny came back in tfs the same exact way then y'all would be foaming at the mouth insisting he's complex #and morally grey and he's just really sad about his family dying and really he's a sad widdle meow meow but also the best villain #who should be spared because he always cared about clementine and aj and he's just traumatized and sad and amazing unlike OTHERS #like.................... okay sure mmhmmmm #side note but the worst thing about kenny is the fact that he IS a brilliantly written character but his stans tend to just be the worst #anyway i like lily she's a great tfs antagonist like i recognize there are some weak spots and i wish she has more of a presence in ep4 #if she lived but y'know... gotta make room for minerva being the final bridge boss so... yeah

[yoruiichii]

and another thing about qijiu is like -

anytime shen (jiu) qingqiu gets into an "altercation" its like:

yqy, thinking: what happened? i need to know from him what happened so i can protect him from the consequences, no matter what it was and no matter how much he might be blamed. and what would have happened if i wasn't there to do so? before, he paid the price for things that were my fault, and last time i left him- (guilt spiral, etc.)

yqy aloud: what did you do?

shen jiu, hearing this, thinking: he thinks i'd do that? how low is his opinion of me really? does he truly think there are no depths to which i wouldn't sink? and i thought it couldn't be lower. so quick to blame me and ignore anyone else's part in this. so quick to distance himself from his sordid past.

shen jiu, aloud: i'm sure it makes no difference to you.

choose your fighter: yqy's unconditional devotion and inability to communicate vs. shen jiu's self-loathing making him interpret it as disinterest and blame (and also his inability to communicate)

#svsss #shen jiu #yue qingyuan #qijiu #and the worst (best) part of this all is that if they could actually have a conversation where they communicate this #shen jiu would probably be really into the unconditional devotion thing #for someone who feels so isolated and unloved #to be told no matter how deep a hole he finds himself in or how he got there yqy will still care is like. a fundamental change in worldview #(though i think sj's self-loathing might first lead him to think that there SHOULD be conditions to caring about him) #(which ofc leads to more 79 conflict) #and weve also seen that generally if sj orders him to not do something yqy follows that directive #so this could work out so well #BUT because 79 is 79 this is basically impossible #if they actually had a conversation about this it would be more like #yqy: i want to know from qingqiu what happened. #sj: so you think i'm the kind of person that would do all of this? is your opinion of me that low? #yqy: no! what shidi has done doesn't matter #sj: it doesn't matter? i see. #sj: sect leader must act as censure for the entire sect. perhaps he might speak to the other involved party next time. #yqy: ...this one has failed you. #and then sj leaves the conversation thinking yqy's a liar and a hypocrite #and yqy leaves subsumed in even more guilt #and then when yqy changes his behavior and doesnt ask/blame sj immediately after an incident #sj is like: oh. he doesn't care? he's given up? he's really distancing himself now. #[rattles the bars of my cage] 79 MAKE ME INSANE #miscommunication as the basis for conflict can be annoying but 79 does it perfectly #as the miscommunication is based on differing inherent ways of understanding/interacting with others #and can absolutely not be solved in a single conversation #anyways sorry for the tags being longer than the actual post

[merakiui]

Mera MERA you're the only one who get me. Riddle's beach outfit??? RIDDLE BEACH OUTFIT????? HOT GIRL SUMMER????PLS when I saw the exposed stomach I was immediately like "ahahah...what if...what if I were to grind on it...AHAHAH Jk jk...........unless👀"

YES OMG OTL hot girl summer Riddle is something I never thought I’d see in canon, yet we are here and it’s wonderful!!! Grinding on his tummy or even running your hands over it, teasing his navel, complimenting him for how good he looks in that outfit even if he’s against showing so much skin. <3 he may think it’s against the rules and very unbecoming, but you think he’s the most attractive one on this beach, and when Riddle hears you say that it’s hard for him to think otherwise. Maybe it’s fine to show a little skin for the sake of this vacation—so he doesn’t get hot in non-summer clothes, he insists! After all, there aren’t many rules one must follow when on vacation. :)

#twisted chit chat #having sex with riddle on the beach but you’re with what’s possibly the worst group #azul floyd and jack can just smell both of you all over each other when you meet back up with them #and they’re all thinking ‘no way riddle got laid before us?!?!’ #riddle is not the best liar either and he’s trying his hardest to look composed despite his tousled hair hehe #and ace finds out why jack and the sushi squad are acting so strange #and omg they’re all teasing riddle about it #but then also they need details when you and grim part from the group to go to your room #they’re nosy!!! >_< (and all virgins) #WAIT AND LILIA OMG HE KNOWS TOO #they all look at riddle like: 👁 👁 we haven’t seen but we know

[8rujaa]

i feel so happy i have the urge to get on my hands and knees and worship something

#i’m emotional because i feel like recently i’ve been actually like genuinely happy #i thought i was going to feel broken forever. i thought i was going to feel like half a person forever #i’ve made so much progress #looking back i don’t know how i got through certain things i really don’t #i was being traumatized while also being severely tortured daily by my body pain #i hadn’t talked to my family or friends in months #i lost my mobility and i lost my independence and i lost everything i worked hard for #i felt like a dog and my nightmares still make sure to remind me how terrible it was #and the healing journey afterwards was somehow even worst because i was reliving it constantly. i feel like i fought so hard for my peace #i know i thought about offing myself multiple times #i don’t know what kept me alive… #i think i stayed for all the wrong reasons/people…. but either way i’m glad i stayed #i’m struggling with letting myself be happy because life has a way of taking everything from you just as you were getting comfortable #and i know bad things can and will happen wether i worry or not so the only thing i can do it try to savor and enjoy these beautiful moment #as best as i can and maybe these moments are what will keep me alive in the future #this year i don’t ‘want’ anything per say…. i just don’t want to lose anything…. like god i don’t ask for anything else…. just don’t take #anything from me that i love please 😭😭😭😭😭 #brain vomit

[trainingdummyrabbit]

but to her, this cruelty was a gift.

#OK . OUT OF MY SYSTEM. FOR NOW. #pikart #pikocs #projmoon #alt caption: get you a [redacted] that thinks your worst traits are your best ones #they are nothing to each other. they mirror each other painfully. they are nothing alike. they hate each other. theyre drawn to each other. #i Still dont know whats wrong with them but whatever it is there has Got to be a better way .

[iloveyouitisruiningmylife]

spending my whole life trying and trying and trying and trying to be good enough for people who don't give a fuck about me

#im so tired living seems pointless why am i doing this what is the reason #the firm i work at is going thru a merger so it's releasing all the interns except 2 #i went into her office and said that id like to stay here bc my dad said so bc i got in cause he was friends with the head #and she said ill think about it based on performance ive not decided yet #and this other guy he went in to tell her that cool he'll leave and she told him that she was hoping that he'd stay #he literally does nothing but play games on his phone he doesn't work at all #i have no idea what he has that i don't #but just. im stuck like this forever right never ever good enough for people i like or care about #not for parents they have a diff fav child not for ex gf not for bestie who has a boyfriend much better at loving her than me #not for that one guy who rejected me in interview bc i don't read the newspaper and didn't know the date of the finance act #im so fucking sick of this i never even wanted to this fuckinh course and obviously even my best isn't enough and ofc im not good enough #for anyone in this field and ill just struggle and struggle and struggle all my life just to earn some fucking money so i can live away #from my sociopathic parents #and the worst part is that i can't stop feeling like maybe it IS me yk maybe i am the problem maybe im not trying hard enough #but how else am i supposed to handle this i prioritize my studies and lose all my friends i prioritise my friends and fail in d #exams #and the trauma keeps on coming every fucking day bc sociopathic parents but i jsut push it down and say not rn i will cry at night anx then #never cry #i wish someone would just tell me that idk you're wrong you're not made for this you really do have some mental illness and you're really #trying your best and do something that's easy and that you love doing #oh god this is now a ventpost #mes

[jils-things]

SKADJKAJFKSFSAA content warning: embarrassing moment during my dinner out... /lh

#so - my dinner party right? while eating - i couldnt help but notice the waiters that attend to our tables were... young and nice looking #SAGFHHJAHJGSDSAGAS LISTEN JUST LISTEN #one of them stood out to me - he just looked.. really good looking #i promise you i dont fall easily irl -- but this guy just caught my attention #he had the whole waiter outfit though it was more casual - i frowned noticing that he didnt have a nametag on like the other workers ASDDJA #everytime i passed by - i would glance at him and just.. idk appreciate him adjsahsjfksfs im so sorry if this sounds weird HELPLASDAWHA #he just kept visiting our table since there were many of us and i would just smile when he pops up #now when everyones done eating - he would pick up their plates and bro. he took one plate in front of me and i was not ready for it SDFGSHF #picked up the dish next to my sister and i was like ASDAHFJSDAGSD (BREATHE) #BUT YOU KNOW WHAT GOT WORST? (OR BEST?) #IT WAS GETTING LATE. THE RESTARAUNT WAS CLOSING UP AND THE WAITERS KINDA SLOWED DOWN WITH THEIR PACE #they were moving the chairs back in order. the guy i like decides to sit down. and hes there. just breathing #SUDDENLY HE STARTS TO REMOVE HIS BOWTIE AND I WAS LIKE.OH OKAY OKAY. OH #i thought that was it BUT THEN NOOOO HE UNDOES TWO OF HIS BUTTONS AND I SAW HIS COLLAR BROOO I WANTED TO GO HOME SO BAD #AND THEN WE WOULD ACCIDENTALLY MAKE EYE CONTACT WHAT KINDA FUCKIN WATTPAD STORY IS THISSSSSSSS #I WAS SO . EMBARRASSED BUT ALSO LIKE AKSJDAKJFS WHY IS HE SO FINE HHHRRR #i was legit praying to just think back to steven like i dont know how to handle this genuinely ahjdfksafhsfsa #what a day that was...... #~ rambling #man i hope this never happens to me again /lh

[icewindandboringhorror]

Hrmm... put together a roommates quiz finally after years of thinking it would be an interesting idea lol.. Though obviously not meant to be taken super seriously, I just like thinking about this aspect of personality compatibility. Like yeah, maybe you could get along with someone just chatting with them, but living together is such a different thing. .. curiouse...

#Not that I think that many people would really care since I barely know anyone on tumblr in real life and would never live with random #internet strangers lol but... idk.. I made this to give to friends from time to time and thought... why not post it here too #just out of sheer curiosity if anyone takes it what the most common results would be and etc. #My initial assumption is that most people would probably fall into the 'maybe' category and that either extreme of 'best roomates' #and 'worst roomates' would be the least common #very long also since I like to be thorough I guess #THOUGH... upon second thought... tumblr is home of the like Weird Introverts Who Sit Inside All The Time.. so maybe it's more #likely to come across compatible poeple on here. given that many of the questions are about how meticulous #people are with their scehdules or how often they invite friends over or if they like to mostly stay inside etc. #(since personally I think having a roommate coming and going and bringing random people over all the time would be too chaotic #lol... I need a peaceful quiet household) #Also I kind of don't like the way uquiz seems to do results. I was hoping it would be a number tally? I used some sort of quiz making site #before where you weight the question responses with a number (so the 'Best' response is worth a 0 #The worst is worth like 5 points. and all the in between are like 1 - 4 points or something). So then it is actually possible to have a #''perfect score'' category (someone who gets a literal 0 points). and also you could weight some EXTREMELY bad answers #to add like +10 to the score instead of just +5. And someone who got the MAX possible points would be the WORST compatibility. etc. #But uquiz seems to just be like ''which category did you score towards the MOST'. So someone can give some pretty bad answers #that are VERY non compatible. but as long as MOST of their answers landed in a 'compatible' category #then they would still be listed as compatible despite still actually having some dealbreakers in there. Which is also possible with the #'every answer is a number amount' ranking system too. but I feel like that one does allow for a little more customization #and accuracy (like making the dealbreakers add like...+40 to the score or something so that #there's basically NO way that someone could answer with one of those and still get a good score. Or the ability to have a literal #'perfect score' (getting a zero) etc. #BUt anyway lol... inchresting.. inchresting... curious to consider maybe making a uquiz #for the characters in the gameI'm making like.. which npc are you type quiz or something #now that I've made one and seen how it works.. hrmm hrmm.... #(< game will not even be done for like another year but still thinking about nonsense like this lol)

[agena87]

The Fearless and the Ravishing - Summer 8 years ago, the Villareals' home

#did you know that before she got with Jacques Mallory only ever had one boyfriend and that it was Hugo? #now you know #and yes they had already broken up when lory got with jacques (she's no cheater contrary to her mother) #but it WAS because of jacuqes (or rather lory's feelings for him) that their relationship ended #it was not lory's best moment and it's still one of hugo's worst and traumatizing memories #both agreed to never talk about what happened ever again #the fearless and the ravishing #ts4 #the sims 4 #sims 4 gameplay #oc: mallory landgraab #sim: hugo villareal #sim: luna villareal

[youraveragecatastrophe]

I'll now take a moment of silence to think about all that To steal or not to steal has done for Carulia.

#carmen sandiego 2019 #csweekly #to steal or not to steal #carulia #genuinely don't know what to focus on. there's so much to say #one thing i love is the fact that 'im here to steal the caviar for vile but i have a good reason' was enough for julia to back down #and then enough for her to want to help in the airport at the end #and OF COURSE what maybe takes up the most space in my brain #the fact that you get the worst possible ending by tricking julia. and the best one by trusting her #like! tigress' help in the artic does get zack and ivy back. but it doesn't get the terracotta warrior back #(that's hilarious actually. thinking that in that scenario brunt would be the only one who got something out of this. she'd be so smug)

[tianhai03]

quick doodle before bed. diesel outfit 2dante 🥰🥰🥰

#i finished dmc2 today bc i got the all the dmc games except 4 on steam the other day #'ally why did you play the worst dmc ga-' shhh i did it for dante and i genuinely had fun shhhhhhh #anyways. idc what anyone says dmc2 is a good game bc it has the best dante costume right here. no you cant change my mind #devil may cry #dante(dmc) #i know people are gonna boo me for liking dmc2 but im right and i wont apologize for my unique taste #allyart

[8rujaa]

my therapist really saved me….

#tw abuse // tw sa #i can’t sleep bc i keep thinking about this. #like i probably would’ve not been here if it weren’t for her #i started seeing her january of 2023… my life has changed entirely since then and she was definitely the one who got the ball rolling #literally so much has changed since then and it’s all because of her #i was so dissociated during our first few sessions #thanks to her i was able to get diagnosed and medicated for adhd. i was able to realize i was in an abusive situation and plan a way out #i was able to focus on myself and my healing and she’s helped me reframe so much of my negative thinking #i was able to process a lot of emotions and become a better version of myself with each session #she’s truly incredible. #i remember the first comment she made about the relationship had been ‘’so it’s like there’s an imbalance of control in the relationship’’ #i had put my partners on such a high pedestal that i had no idea they could be doing anything wrong #and i asked her what she meant and she said ‘from what you’ve been describing it’s sounds like a strict parents and child type of dynamic’ #she told me they didn’t need to understand why i wanted to leave and they didn’t need to make that decision. if that’s what was going to be #best for me the only thing i could do is let them know my reasoning and simply leave. i didn’t need their permission.’’ #i remember being so confused at that realization bc like… i had been putting their emotions over mine the whole time i had forgotten simply #doing what’s best for me was an option… l #ever since then i’ve been putting myself first and it’s been a steady uphill from rock bottom… i’ve made an incredible amount of progress #when i first started with her getting out of bed and walking to the kitchen was incredibly difficult and took all my strength. #yesterday i conquered a mountain!!!!!!! i hiked all the way to the top!!!!! :D #me a year ago thought it was going to take me years and years to recover. as soon as i left i made leaps of progress #im incredibly proud of myself and grateful for her. and my reiki lady she’s also been a great great help. #the silver lining is i realized who really matters. and the relationships i cared about deepened. #my sweet virgo friend was the one who was always like ‘THATS A GROWN ASS MAN WHO CANT UNDERSTAND BASIC CONSENT???’ #LMFAO i would be like ‘but he has trauma and bla bla bla’ she looked me dead in the eyes and said #’jess you said with your last boyfriend that you would never make excuses for a man who was hurting you again. stop defending him.’ #she’s really a gem and i treasure her with my life. i hope she knows i love her. she’s family at this point #she’s also literally saved my life before (like deadass called 911 for help) #im glad i had the support system i had. that was a rough situation with so many layers and im glad i got through it #my 22nd year of life was by far the worst of my life and i don’t ever want to put myself in that situation again. im glad i learned.

[mxwhore]

patron saint of being hot

and a lot of skill and really interesting anecdotes about your life and having professors that give me second hand anxiety bc they seem kinda awful and mean. But mainly just being hot

ty! admittedly my professors are not that bad, ive only had one bad professor that was more incompetent that awful. if you want another anecdote, ill tell you about the only teacher i truly despise to this day (on the tags, cuz its a very dark story)

ask gamerino

#i retook that course with a different professor and passed expectacularly. now for the horrendous teacher #on this story we have vomiting injuries and attempted suicide so watch out #in my last two years of our highschool equivalent i had PE with a teacher that loved to play favorites #if u were on a sport team you were immediately given special treatment and as you might already tell i wasnt. i hate ball sports #i loved exercising but i dreaded PE because of her #i have a condition that made my periods incredibly painful and meself anemic so those weeks were hellish #even though i was a good student she would NEVER let me sit out the navette test. even with a doctors note #i would do my best and then literally go vomit and pass out in the bathroom cuz if i did it on the court i would be berated #that wasnt enough to earn my absolute hatred tho. we now move to the worst day of my life to this day #it was just getting to school from lunch (we could go home and have it there) and i had PE #when i get a text #it was my best friend being cryptic thanking me for being a friend and saying goodbyes #he was going to commit suicide #i absolutely lost my shit as one does and went on a rampage #i couldnt get in contact with anyone (his ex stepdad was abusive and isolated his family) and they didnt let me get out of school #i was desperate and my friends were trying to help me but i didnt know what to do. i called my mom and she called his school and then i just #sat and waited with a friend. while the other classmates did the navette test #the minutes passed. i got message from my bffs number and it was his mom telling me she found him just in time #i broke then. i started sobbing and screaming and scratching my arms and my friend held me and tried to keep me from hurting myself #some other classmates came concerned and tried to help #then the teacher came. she just looked at one of the volleyball girlies who shrugged #she didnt ask if i was ok or if i needed to call someone or go somewhere. she just asked if i planning to do the test #i said no and she left and i kept crying #when i felt stable enough i went to see what had happened and she just failed me. i couldnt give the test any other day and that was that #she simply didnt care #i had to calm myself down while writing this. its no use getting emotional over a teacher that didnt care #but i hate her. she made the worst day of my life worse and she doesnt know and doesnt care #that memory fuels me to never surrender to indifference and make the pain in this world worse #my bff got help he needed after that and our bond is stronger than ever. he never pulled something like that again #thats the story! not gonna tag this babes

[coquelicoq]

i finally wrote an xword that i think might be nyt-submittable...i originally wrote it for the local paper though so i now have to go back through and rework the clues to take out the specific local ones and make some of the others harder. i know exactly which day of the week this would run in the nyt (if it gets accepted) because this type of theme always runs on the same day, so at least i know which clue difficulty to aim for, but i'm still finding it difficult to hit that precise level! i'm used to just making the clues as easy as possible because my local paper's audience is mostly people who aren't xword aficionados. i already reworked this puzzle a couple times based on feedback from friends and family but that was all still when i thought i'd be running it in my local paper. i kinda just want to be done with it but i've never had a theme and fill i thought were completely nyt-worthy before!

#i've been thinking that i would write a puzzle that was intended for the nyt from the beginning #but i never prioritize it because the local paper is actually expecting something from me and i have deadlines with them #so this might be the only way it ever actually happens #i feel kinda bad for the local paper that they don't even get my best work haha but also this theme would probably be too hard #for most of their audience (though let's face it probably all of my puzzles are too hard for various reasons) #aw shoot though i just reread the submission guidelines and they're specifically looking for themes OTHER THAN this type #hmmm #cruciverbs #i also wouldn't mind submitting this in collaboration with a more experienced constructor who could help me with the clues #and i imagine such people are always looking for greenhorn collaborators because it allows them to have >3 submissions #in the queue...but i don't even know how one goes about finding such people #if i submit it and they reject it no harm no foul EXCEPT that i don't know how long it would take them to get back to me #and if this isn't going to run in the nyt then i'd still like to run it in the local paper #but also maybe if they reject it they'll be like 'we don't want this but you seem to have promise so here's the email address of #one of our veteran constructors who would be willing to work with you on other ideas you may have' #i just made that up idk if they would actually do that haha but it seems plausible. and wouldn't it be nice? #i do have another nyt-specific idea that i've been spinning my wheels on for like two years #hmm hmm hmm. i think my best bet is still to rework these clues and submit it and see what happens #worst case scenario is they never get back to me. which is a distinct possibility given what happened with my #american xword puzzle tournament previous year solved puzzles (ie they never got back to me >:( ) #but that was will shortz. this is will shortz plus like 5 other people. he probably doesn't even see new submissions

[superhell]

office politics at ppth are literally wild both deans of medicine we’ve seen have been like i need to be able to get house to do what i want BUT house is never gonna listen to me on my own so i have to get wilson on my team bc wilson CAN control house and meanwhile the rest of the hospital needs like. actual running. so i can only assume most of the place is self sufficient and house’s department is the literal only department that needs constant dean of medicine interference like the job is sign papers smile big and get on good terms with wilson

#guys i KNOW its a lot more work than that but soooooo much of their time is spent house wrangling that it has GOT to be a higher percentage #than any other department gets #the key to house is wilson which honestly wilson should start leveraging that shit out he should absolutely be using 'only person house #listens to' as a way to get whatever. #cash in on that shit wilson #house #wilson #hilson #clinic hour scheduling is a fucking battle until they get to the Worst hours and then everyone is like 'assign house' and leave #nurses pull straws on who has to work with house's patient #and once again. hr has a 'house department' and they make all the newbies work there for a year #new doctors get told horror stories about house to weed out the weak #like farrrrr too much of this hospital is deeply concerned with house at All Times #and everyone likes wilson. but No One wants to owe wilson any favors ever. what if he makes you house-sit #house md #hatecrimes md #radiology and house have Serious Beef #and after recent events i have to conclude ortho hates house personally now too #the rest of oncology is like the best friend who hates the boyfriend they're all of the opinion that wilson deserves better and go #GIRLLLLLLLLL loudly every time wilson forgives house yet again #the rest of ppth fascinates me if you couldnt tell