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#and before he left was like “i hope you get bored 😏“ lol
cosmicstarlatte · 1 year
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Devil-Mart: Shopping (Obey Me!)
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The brothers and you go grocery shopping. You can imagine what that's like.
»Characters: Demon Bros + very brief Dia and Barb
»Tags: Shitpost, Some Wholesomeness, Levi my boy, Dia is precious as usual, Bulleted Style
»Notes: Sorry I know I've mentioned this a few times but finally edited it to my liking. :'3 Alternatively I have another fic where they actually work at Devil-Mart if you haven't read that one lol.
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Lucifer:
Grabs two carts, one being a race car type with two seats
"Levi! Belphie! Get in!"
OF COURSE HE STRAPS THEM IN
Puts a backpack leash on Asmo
"Beel, Mammon, get a cart each."
They're a big family so yeah they need a lot lol
"Satan, stay where I can see you!"
This man pulls out a CVS-receipt type of shopping list
You can practically hear western showdown music as he stares down another customer for the last bag of spicy newt chips
Hands Satan Asmo's leash
He wins the last bag of course
"SATAN! ASMO! Where did you go!?"
(Later)
"I have a coupon for this."
"Well the sale sign said-"
"Here's my rewards card."
"I have reusable bags, thank you."
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Mammon:
Thinks grocery shopping is boring but only goes because of you
Is the reason the store started locking more stuff up behind glass cases
Has tried to bargain with workers and hopes it works one day
Confidently accepted Satan's bet (you tried to stop it)
He left his shopping cart with you
Next thing you know he gets on the intercom
"Lucifer! Daddy will find you! Don't cry! If anyone sees a black haired-"
Lucifer drop kicked him knocking him unconscious
[Security Liked This 👍 ]
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Levi:
Happily gets in Lucifer's cart and continues gaming on his console
Is use to Lucifer strapping him in
Finds it oddly comforting
"Lucifer can we get the Ruri chan limited edition cereal!?"
"It's on the list."
"Lucifer! Don't forget we need more Hell Sodas!"
"It's on the list."
"Oh and my special Ruri shamp-"
"Leviathan."
[A few minutes later]
"...Hey Lucifer!"
"LEVIATHAN."
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Satan:
Didn't want to come but Lucifer makes grocery shopping a family outing
Walks around reading a book
Bet Mammon he wouldn't get on the intercom and embarrass Lucifer
He knew he'd do it
He happily threw the grimm on his unconscious body
He took out the last jar of inferno bee honey from a families cart when they weren't looking
Occasionally crosses off Lucifer's snacks so he forgets them
Decided to ''save'' Asmo when he got the chance
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Asmo:
Not the first time he's been on a leash
Just typed away on his D.D.D
Keeps trying to flirt with any cutie he sees
Lucifer yanks him away every time
However Lucifer does use him for discounts at the meat deli
Asmo doesn't mind he always treats it like a game to see what he can get 😏
Employees have fought for the chance to help him if he requires assistance
Was thankful when Satan saved him from Lucifer's watch
They went shopping at the cafe book store next door
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Beel:
Loves grocery shopping, loves it
Always has to eat a giant meal before shopping otherwise he can't go
Food and family outing only the best duo!!!
Always feels guilty knowing the list is long because of him but he does his best to help Lucifer shop for the items
Pushed one cart with food and pulled the other with an unconscious Mammon inside
Is the reason the store stopped doing free samples
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Belphie:
Immediately started snoozing when Lucifer strapped him into the cart
Doesn't care much for grocery shopping but doesn't fight it
Grannies always coo over him while he sleeps
"Oh what a cutie! The other one is kind of odd though..."
Lucifer always carries a sleeping Belphie back to the van while Beel packs the back of the van with you
Sure Beel could carry him but Lucifer insists its Beel's duty to help with grocery shopping as much as he can
Lucifer won't admit he has a soft spot for the youngest
Belphie won't admit he pretends to sleep so he can be carried by Lucifer
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As you guys leave, you see Barbatos walking in, pushing Diavolo in his own race car cart who is happily "steering".
"We're going to the chips, Barbatos!"
"No, we are here for dinner ingredients my Lord."
"But I'm turning left!"
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->[Dia & Barb art]
⬦You might also like: Coconut︱Mexican Restaurant︱Waffle House︱ You ARE The Father
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destinyc1020 · 8 months
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What do you think about Austin Butler and Kaia Gerbe? I found this Instagram https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cwa_6OqI_Vp/?utm_source=ig_web_button_native_share
Lol... judging from the video link you sent me, I'm assuming you mean what do I think of Austin and Kaia together, vs. what do I think of them individually? 😏
Whew! That's a loaded question Anon lol. I feel like I've already kind of shared my opinion about them on here quite a few times. I'm gonna try to get my thoughts together... Cuz it's a lot to say....
Okay, so first of all... I thought they were a real deal couple at first... But based on some of the things I've been seeing lately, Idk.... Something about them seems a bit contrived and smthg seems off about their rlship. 👀 (Don't hate me! Just being honest)
I'm not really a fan of the age difference (mainly with her being 21...if she were 25 I wouldn't care), but it's whatever at this point. 🙄
I think people tend to forget that Pete Davidson was dating Kaia when she was 17 (UNDERAGE mind you) and he was 26. Nobody seemed to blink an eyelash. Cara Delavigne (sp?) also seemed to be having something going on with Kaia when Kaia was 18 and Cara was about 10 years older than her too. So, like I said, Kaia isn't new to this. But for some reason, with Austin, everyone is crying bloody murder lol.
Either way, I've always been saying that no matter WHO Austin dates next, I just hope she's older than 21. 😒🙄 Cuz THAT is not a good look. I don't even know how they got together. Could have been a setup for all I know. I'm just meh about them tbh. They're a boring couple to me. She's boring I'm sorry lol. 😅
Like I've said before, I've never really taken them all that seriously (maybe some shippers/fans do, but I don't), so maybe that's why I just don't really have much of a strong reaction to them. To me, they just seem like any other couple in Hollywood that dates for a while, and then will more than likely eventually break up lol. 🤷🏾‍♀️
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Btw, the lady in that link you sent had a couple of things wrong (Vaustin Aunessa dated for about 8 years.... Austin was 30, not 31, etc), but I got the main gist of the video. And there are tons of videos out there like this, sooo we definitely get the point.
The dating of Kaia aside, I honestly just think (and this is just my honest personal opinion) that a lot of people want to hate on Austin.. 😅🤣
For some reason, the internet has a huge hate boner for this guy, and I just don't get it lol. I just assume he's the internet's perpetual whipping boy at this moment in time, and people just wanna drag him just because it's the "in" thing to do. First it was the Vanessa breakup thing, then it was the Kaia thing, then it was the voice thing, then it's they think he's annoying....Some call him pretentious...or arrogant, etc...
But then, I look at his interviews present AND past, and I'm like: "Are we talking about the same person??" 🥴
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Even if you think that someone is annoying, is that any reason to hate someone you don't even know with such a passion lol? 🤔 Idk it just seems a little weird to me. Almost like it's forced or something.
I almost feel like people have put a certain personality on him that's not even him lol. 😅 Every single thing I've seen of Austin (past or present) he has always seemed to be very nice, respectful, down to earth, kind, humble, maybe a little socially awkward/shy, etc. But NONE of the things people on twitter/online describe him as. So I'm always left very baffled lol. I could see if he were a trouble-maker, an abuser, or talking badly about people, or was engaged in some scandalous things over the years, but the dude literally is just a quiet person who basically works, does his job, and minds his business. 👀
So, he just might have to grow out of this "hate phase" in his career right now. I keep saying on my blog that just about EVERY actor has had a "hate" phase lol.... and it will continue to happen, because people are just weirdos and hateful for no good reason online. 🙄
But these phases don't usually last forever. It will eventually go away one of these days. Anyway, that's my long dissertation...Not sure if that answered your question Anon lol, but that's my honest opinion. 😊
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theflyingfeeling · 2 years
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i love your au stories so much!! thinking about a bc exotic vacation story 👀 how would that turn out?
(if it can include joeleksi would be great)
Thank youuuu 💛
"How would that turn out", you ask? Well, there are literatelly a hundred and one ways, each one more ridiculous than the last 😂
I hope you like this summary of Aleksi trying to be responsible, Joel being a soft baby, Olli barely surviving the trip alive, Tommi taking care of him, Niko wishing they had gone to Lapland instead, and Porko being..Porko 😅
Aleksi, the good bean he is, wants to spoil his boys by taking them on a vacation to an exotic location, far far away from the cold, snowy Finland. He knows it's a little over the top, but ever since he joined the band, he's been the happiest he ever has before, despite all the occasional struggles, so he really wants to give back to the boys for making his life so much better 🖤
Niko, his partner in crime, keeps teasing Aleksi about taking Joel on a honeymoon now that they're more-or-less official (to their families and closest circle of friends at least; the public has not been given a confirmation about the nature of their relationship yet (as if there's need for that, them being so obviously smitten for each other)) 😏
Niko is so far off though, as it's clearly not a honeymoon; the other guys will be there too for starters?! 🙄
(Besides, going with only Joel would have seemed way too suspicious in case the public was to find out about it, and their thing is really at such an early stage that they're determined to keep a low profile as long as they can)
The 12-hour flight to their destination includes 1) Tommi bumping his head on something whenever he gets up, 2) Joonas thinking he's gonna die whenever they experience minor turbulance, 3) Joel almost dropping his phone in the airplane toilet ("Why did you bring your phone to the toilet, you dumdum?" (the answer: he was bored and wanted to send Aleksi d*ck pics), 4) Olli drinking beer with a straw, 5) Niko watching Air Crash Investigation for hours, just to mess with Joonas and Joel, 6) Aleksi wanting to cuddle Joel so bad when he falls asleep against his shoulder because he's just too adorable, but one of the flight attendants recognized them so it's a no-no, and 7) Joonas and Niko joining the mile-high club for the lols (or at least there's a very determined attempt 🙈)
When they arrive in their destination at last, they're all so exhausted that they end up spening the first day locked up in their hotel rooms. Joel and Aleksi know they should be sleeping, but instead they want to catch up on all the snuggles and smooches they haven't been able to do for almost 24 hours 🥰
In the evening they're feeling a little more refreshed, so they all head down to the beach to have a little party of their own. Most of the sunbathing tourists have left by then so the place is occupied only by a local couple and their dog who immediately befriends Joonas, begging for tastings of his ice cream 🐶🍦 This results in Joonas getting ice cream stains all over his new pretty floral shirt, so he has to return to the hotel to change
Tommi: "Are you sure you remember the way?"
Joonas: "Y-yeah? 😰"
Niko: *sighs* "Yeah, I'll go with him 😑"
Then Olli attempts to start a sandball war with Tommi but ends up getting bitten on his finger by a crab 😂😬 So they have to go back to the hotel to desinfect the wound because Olli does not want to end up with some kinda tropical fever again
For some reason, none of the guys ever return to the beach 🤔 Aleksi for sure could not have planned any of that even if he had tried to, but he's thankful to have a moment's peace with Joel, admiring the calm sea and the stars above it ✨💕
(Perhaps Joonas never got around to putting a clean shirt on 😏 Perhaps Olli was feeling a little dizzy after his traumatic encounter with the crab after all 🤭)
The sand under their toes is still warm, but not as warm as Joel's hand in Aleksi's 💓
The breeze from the sea is soft, but not as soft as Joel's lips 💞
They would've done it right there on the beach, had a beach guard not interrupted them and started angrily shouting at them 🙊
(They don't dare go back to that beach for the rest of the trip)
One day they go hiking to see some historical ruins on top a mountain. In the tourist brochure it was said to be one of the most fascinating attractions in the area, but when they get there, it seems to be just a brick wall barely standing up, nothing too interesting nor remarkable. Thus, out of boredom, Joonas and Olli start a came of jenga, daring the other to remove one more brick
One of the bricks falls on Olli's toe and Tommi has to give him a piggyback ride back 😫
(and Joonas is low-key jealous, because Tommi's piggyback rides are the best 🥺)
Aleksi tries fixing the damage they've made to the ruins the best he can, since really doesn't want them to get an entry ban to the whole island lol
(Later, back at the hotel, Tommi looks at the map again and realises they had climbed the wrong fucking hill 🙃)
Meanwhile Niko, detesting the hot weather and, decided to skip the trip altogether and is having a wonderful time sipping on a cold beer at the hotel's terrace 😎
On their way down, Aleksi finds a pretty flower by the side of the path and tucks it behind Joel's ear 🌸
Joel blushes tremendously and can't stop smiling for literal hours. He makes sure not to ruin the flower when they go swimming, and he hates having to take it off when they go to bed, its pedals already falling off. Aleksi promises to find him a new one the next day 😘
Another day they make a trip to a national park and, the weather being a little too hot and humid for northern Europeans, agree on only doing the shortest route (1,5 km), during which 1) Joonas manages to get lost while befriending yet another dog (and no one notices until they're back having drinks at the national park's visitor centre), 2) Joel is brutally attacked by a demonic killer bird that almost pecked his eyes out while screaming at him like it was trying to cast a lethal curse on him!! (=a cute little birdie flew by), 3) Olli drops HIS BEST CAP in the river while they're crossing a hanging bridge, 4) Tommi has to physically restrain Olli from jumping after it, 5) Niko films the whole episode and nearly chokes on air laughing, and 6) Aleksi sweating because he picked up a heart-shaped rock to give to Joel later but now he's not sure if he should have? Like, what if it was some kinda sacred rock and now they're all gonna be cursed or at least banned from the whole continent for fifty years for offending their honour?! 😰
He forgets about it when they have to go back looking for Joonas. They find him sitting on the ground next to the path like a lost child (..which he is, lbr), almost (definitely) bursting into tears when he sees his friends 😭
And like consoling a child, they buy him an extra-large portion of ice cream at the visitor centre to make up for momentarily forgetting about him 🍨
Once back at the hotel, Joel and Aleksi fall straight on their bed 🥰
Joel: "Is that a rock in your pocket or are you just really into this?"
Aleksi: "Oh, right, actually..."
I mean, he is into it too, of course 😌 He feels a little silly about the rock by now though, but luckily Joel is completely taken by the gesture 🥰
On their last night at the location they have drinks by the pool, all of them more or less tired and maybe already a little homesick, so the evening is quite peaceful by their standards, the biggest drama being when someone (Joonas) accidentally downs someone else's (Olli's) drink 🤡
(Niko sees it best not to point out the rather big spider on the back of Joonas' chair)
Meanwhile Aleksi and Joel retreat to one of these kinda chairs to cuddle and make out in peace 💕
So it may not have been a honeymoon, but Aleksi sure is planning on taking Joel on one eventually.. 👨‍❤️‍👨
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morewyckedthanyou · 3 years
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MASH fandom
Thanks for the ask! 😄 I was hoping someone would ask me about my latest hyperfixation too... and you delivered.
the first character i ever fell in love with:
Before I'd even watched a single episode of the thing, I already knew I loved Klinger based on the few Tumblr posts I'd seen. After starting to watch the show, however... I very soon realized I stood no change and Hawkeye was going to be another favourite. I guess bi-coded disaster characters using humour as a coping mechanism are my downfall. This is a theme when it comes to many of my favourites in different fandoms.
a character that i used to love/like, but now do not:
I'm probably going to upset many BJ fangirls and fanboys with this one but... when he first appeared on the show, I did like him and I had high hopes for his character. But I very soon grew kinda bored. I don't dislike BJ but I also really don't think he's all that complex or interesting. :/
a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not:
I don't really have one in this fandom I think.
my ultimate favorite character™:
Mulcahy my beloved 😘
prettiest character:
Objectively speaking I guess Margaret. She is really pretty, there is no denying it. However I am also biased and I enjoy seeing Mulcahy in his tight black t-shirts a lot. He also has kind eyes and a kind smile which make him immediately very pretty in my eyes.
Honorary mention goes to nurse Kellye, because I think she's simply adorable and if I were trying to have a good time with someone while being stuck at a MASH unit during the Korean War, it'd be with her. She's my type. 😏
my most hated character:
I love to hate Frank.
my OTP:
Because apparently I like to make myself suffer from the lack of content... Hawkcahy.
my NOTP:
Again I'm probably upsetting all the BJ fans but I really don't care for Hunnihawk.
favorite episode:
Oh god, I really don't know... There are so many good episodes that I like for different reasons. But some of my all time fave episodes are Dear Dad, Fallen Idol and Mulcahy's War, just to mention some off the top of my head.
saddest death:
Even though it happened off-screen... Henry. 😭 I really liked him and when Radar announced his death... you bet I cried.
favorite season:
I haven't actually watched all the seasons yet - I still have the last 3 seasons left to watch and a few episodes from season 8 as well. But out of the ones I have seen... I'd say maybe season 6? It has good Mulcahy centric content, and also we now have Charles who replaced Frank - I was really getting sick of Frank.
least favorite season:
Out of the ones I've seen, maybe season 2? There wasn't enough Mulcahy content for my liking for one... but I also think there were some "filler" episodes that I didn't care that much about. Although, then again, I do like some episodes in season 2 a lot.
character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate:
I don't hate him. I just find him kinda boring. Yes I'm talking about BJ again oh god forgive me BJ fans.
my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave:
Trapper. But I think Hawkeye does fit in this category quite well too, lol.
my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave:
Radar deserves nothing but the best. He is just a baby and doesn't get nearly enough credit or respect all things considered.
my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship:
Idk, does my OTP count? Hawkeye is the only one depraved enough to make a pass at the priest and also corrupt him succesfully I think.
my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship:
Don't ask me why because I can't even explain it myself but for some reason I think Klinger/Radar would've been kinda cute. 😂
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lifeofbouyd · 6 years
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Her First Orgasm
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I spotted her staring at me from a distance, she looked as if she would just eat me up. I had only flirted with her once. This could possibly be the after effect. She kept staring even when our eyes made four. It was as if she wanted me to see. I hadn’t paid her much mind that day as I was preoccupied melting someone else brain. I found her staring another day so I went over and started a conversation. She told me her boyfriend had left the island a few days ago so she’s practically single till he gets back.
Kim: I need a friend
Me: What kind?
Kim: The kind I can go out with and hold a vibe.
Me: That sounds good. I hope you find someone soon.
Kim: Most people would recommend themselves
Me: I’m not good for you
Kim: I take that as a challenge
I had just played my cards right and landed a “Friend”. A sexy one if I do say so myself. I could see her tingling with excitement when I held her hands. She stared and smiled till it felt creepy. What the fuck is she thinking?. Is she fucking me in her mind right now?.
Me: What you thinking bout?
Kim: A lot
Me: Wanna talk about it?
Kim: Give me your number and I’ll text you.
I gave her the digits and went back to my other project. We got to know each other over the phone, via phone call and texts. Likes, dislikes, favourites etc. I kept painting a bad picture for myself, telling her about my bipolar emotional disorder which she took for a joke. She spent hours trying to convince me she could change me and that I’d fall in love if we fucked. I kept smiling and wondering what she had in mind that I’ve never seen. I’ve been there done that so nothing could surprise me at this stage in life.
Even though she wanted to fuck me she loved her boyfriend; her words not mine lol. They talked every chance they got. It seemed to be the perfect relationship. But if it was why would she cheat, was there something missing from her life, or is it that she can’t be pleased?. I couldn’t wrap my hands around it but to be honest, I didn’t care. Who was I to judge?. After all I’m sure he wouldn’t hesitate to fuck my girl (if I had one for myself) if he got the chance.
Kim: I liked to be fucked hard from back and I hate boring sex. Can you fuck?.
Me: Give me the chance and you’ll find out
Kim: I don’t want to cheat on my boyfriend and it’s not worth it.
Me: I won’t make any promises
Well to be honest I’m not the kind who likes to fuck like a race horse. I like to take my time and build the vibe before fucking girls brains out. I just feel like rushing into it kinda kills the momentum and the feeling. Yeah I know I’m a hoe but ask around, they’ll tell you. She planned to come see me on a weekend when she’s not busy and I acted like I could care less. The first couple times didn’t workout as I always had somewhere to be. I finally reserved a weekend for her so we could get it over with. I got the place all cleaned up and smelling like a massage room.
I found us a movie to watch while I texted my life away. I could actually feel her watching me; it was as if she was confused. She’s used to guys all over her but I just laid there on my phone with not a care in the world as to what was going on. She held my leg and stared at me while I texted.
Kim: You seem to be shy. Are you always like this?
Me: I’m allowing you to enjoy the movie and make yourself at home
Kim: I got a tv at home. I came for you to fuck me.
Me: 😏
Kim: Don’t let me force you if you don’t want to
I kept texting and stared at her through one eye. She reached for my dick and I grabbed her hand. Me: I thought you said we just gonna chill today. What changed?
Kim: I know you wanna fuck, stop acting
She turned the tv off and came over. At that point I realized she meant business. I ditched my phone and started giving her my attention. She laid on her belly and I watched her ass fighting to get out her jeans. I gave her wet kisses on her shoulder while I slowly took her clothes off. I rolled her blouse up while I kissed her sides. I gave her slow lingering kisses on her waist while I pulled her pants off. ((( heavy breathing))) Bouyd...... please stop.... your driving me crazy. Hearing her say that was like gas to my adrenaline. I lingered across her waist once I realized the effect I had on her body. Every kiss I planted her body shook, she squeezed the bed and moaned as if I was already deep inside her. She was soaking wet long before I even took her clothes off. I slowly dragged the tip of my tongue across one nipple while massaging the other with my hand. Her pussy was dripping wet and her body shook as if she was experiencing a tremor. It was like a phone ringing ((((vibration)))). I slowly ran my middle finger up and down her clit while watching her shake as if she was about to cum. I squeezed one finger in while sucking on her nipple and giving her wet kisses. I could see hercstruggling to keep it together. She could hardly take my shirt off when I told her to. She was shaking like a leaf in the wind. I held my hard dick and slapped her with it. I rubbed it on her leg, her clit and at her wet entrance. Teasing and starving her, making her yearn for the dick.
I slowly slid it in and seductively sucked on her nipples while she tried wining to the root of my stump. I watched her eyes roll back every time I stroked her. She pulled her hair, she pulled the sheets, she bit her lips. Damn, she was all in 100% . She was enjoying my unorthodox sex. I placed her foot on my shoulder giving me full access to her pussy. I slowly shoved my dick as far as it could go. With every stroke she squeezed harder. “Harder, harder, fuck me harder”. I started driving my dick down her belly and smiled at her expression. I’m the kinda guy who’ll legit laugh at you while we having sex. “Cum all over my dick, make it creamy”. She had told me she never had an orgasm before and I was determined to be her first. I started fucking her harder, pushing my dick deeper inside her.
Kim: Babe...... I.... I..... I wanna pee
Me: You’re gonna cum babe. Let it out. Cum all over my dick.
Kim: I..... (((heavy breathing))) can’t hold it.
She started shaking like she was having a fits. I pushed harder and harder, trying to make her climax. She held me tight as if she would never let me go, I kissed her shoulder and massaged her nipples. “Babe mi ago piss up, mi can’t hold it no longer”. I could feel the hot cum running. She was cumin for the first in her life. Two years of sex with her boyfriend and she’s never had an orgasm. She pushed me out while she vibrated like a ringing phone. She was confused. She pulled her hair, she scratched my head; biting her lips and squeezed the pillow between her legs. This was way too much pleasure for her to bare.
Kim: Bouyd mi cum, mi cum to “bloodclaat”. Mi caa believe mi cum. How the fuck you do that.
I just sat there with my steel hard dick looking at her and laughed in my mind. I fucked her brains out, I made her cum. I realized that moment that she was gonna get clingy but I didn’t mind. I had just won me a new troohy.
When she finally came to the realization that she just had an orgasm she jumped right back on the dick. She rode like a rodeo and kept cumin as if it was a sport. She didn’t stop until she was numb. It’s as if she had found a new toy that she doesn’t wanna put down. I fucked her again in the morning and again she came. Over and over. She couldn’t contain the feeling. She fell in-love with the dick. Even after finding a boyfriend she fucked me several times before fucking him. I doubt he got any lol. He just kept turning her on for me and I was always grateful; especially when he got her angry, I was her calming pill. To be honest I loved fucking her as much as she loved to cum. But like everything in life, it eventually came to an end. Life changes I guess. But it was fun while it lasted.
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