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nerd-chocolate · 1 year

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The Ballad of Sara Berry au Rewrite!:

So does anyone remember “The Ballad of Sara Berry” au post I did back on Oct 7, 2022? Well surprised I’m rewriting it because I want to and have been listening to the song on repeat a bunch of times. It's really good! And this time I’m not making Sara Berry or at least the person who is bad so like Chloé or Lila since Sara Berry just went insane due to the pressure that her father was putting her and before you ask no I’m not making Lila or Chloé Julie Jenkins since they don’t fit the character. So now that is out of the way let’s begin! @artzychic27 characters are in this au as well.

Characters:

This time, I decided that Marinette will be Sara Berry and Mireille will be Julie Jenkins for the rewrite au. And here is the reason why that is.

For Marinette, I thought about it more and more than realized that it would make sense for her to be Sara Berry. Just like Sara, she can be very obsessed with the things she wants like for example, wanting to date Adrien. Ever since season one, Marinette has shown to be a careful planner and she can (if she wants to) track people's schedules for her benefit and use it to her advantage like in Gigantitan. And Marinette would steal others’ things without a second thought. If it means getting what she wants, check that out in CopyCat and Oni-Chan for that knowledge. Also, Marinette would do anything to take out the competition since in multiple episodes, she is shown doing that even siding with Chloé in one of them also in different circumstances, she probably would kill someone for Adrien. And lastly, Marinette would think prom night was like a fairytale for her since she would want to be the perfect night with her and Adrien dancing under a spotlight while everyone watches her winning prom queen and everyone celebrates that she won. Point is, she would fit the role of Sara Berry including going fucking insane.

As for Mireille, I think before Julie Jenkins lost her leg in that wreck, she was probably in the background most of the time and was forgotten by most of her classmates which are pretty sad if you think about it. You only get noticed by your classmates after something tragic happened to you like losing one of your limbs, poor Julie she deserves better but anyway. Mireille in the canon was in the background and never in the fourth front even after becoming one of the weather girls aside from Aurore. Some of the fandoms don’t acknowledge her except if they want to make her a rival to Marinette like in that one comic. This led me to think that the writers would make her a rival to Mari if they wanted to, which is also pretty tragic when you think about it. But the reason I pick Mireille is that she is really easy to make a rival but not one that isn’t aware of it until well you know but I’ll get to that when I get to the plot section. In other words, I don't have that much to say here for this one. Mireille fits Julie well.

As for the victims of the prom massacre like the post I originally made, they are the narrators of this story and tell the audience what happened. When they’re first introduced they are seen as nothing but spirits with theater masks, ones that are very expressive with a little of how they died like getting cut into pieces or getting poisoned. They are probably wearing fairy tale-themed homecoming clothes like a prince and princess would wear for their coronation since they are getting nominated for homecoming queen and king. I will go in order of how they died, what were their reasons for wanting to be queen and king, and bolding who are the main narrators of this tale.

Mylène Haprèle - She wanted to bring more confidence in herself and thought the queen would be a great opportunity for that and even if she loses, she’ll spend time with Ivan and listen to him when he and the Kitty Section play some music, so bonus!

Rose Lavillant - She thought being homecoming queen would be pretty fun to do and thought having a spotlight dance with Juleka would be so romantic. And even if she doesn’t win, she still dances with Juleka and is going to have the best night ever with her friends.

Nathaniel Kurtzberg - Marc was the one to convince him, he would make an amazing homecoming king and that he would be at Nath’s side no matter if he won or lost. Also, Nath would love to try a crown on for a change.

Jean Duparc - He would show everyone that he can pull wearing a crown, especially people that said he can’t. And he doesn’t care if he is prom queen or king, he is just having a blast tonight.

Ismael Prisk - He wants some gender confidence in himself especially if he wins homecoming king. And he gets pissed off his mom at the end so that makes it even better.

Cosette Bellamy - Zoé convinced them that she would be an amazing homecoming queen and even said that she would be like a knight to them even if Cosette didn't win. Cosette loves the idea of Zoé being its knight and making at least its dad proud of it if it wins.

The last two characters I want to talk about are Adrien and Mrs.Bustier and what their roles are in this au, these roles are important to the story so this will be quick.

Adrien is Marinette’s boyfriend in this au and does break up with her for a reason. His relationship with Mari was okay at first even though there are some issues like how Marinette interrupts him sometimes in conversations and she makes it about her sometimes even if it is completely different but it wasn't a big issue for him to get concerned about. But when Homecoming came around, Marinette became obsessed with it. She expects Adrien to be homecoming king with her but Adrien doesn’t want to be the homecoming king nominee and tries to tell Marinette that but she doesn’t listen to him so he doesn’t say anything. Luka comforts Adrien when Marinette is too busy for him or isn’t using him to help with her campaign and Adrien grows to have feelings for him with each passing day. Luka does as well but doesn’t want to tell Adrien since he doesn’t interfere with his relationship with Marinette and doesn't want to cause Adrien more stress by creating conflict and drama between him and Marinette so he tries to be a good friend to him despite his feelings for Adrien. One day, Adrien took some of Luka’s and Nino’s advice and told Marinette he doesn’t want to be homecoming king and that they could talk about something else for a change but Marinette just gets mad at him and snaps. Marinette told him that he is being selfish and isn’t thinking about what she wanted, and she wishes he was more obedient to her. That makes Adrien realize that his relationship with Marinette isn’t healthy and told her he was breaking up with her but Marinette is too caught up to listen to what he says and thinks they are still dating. Some time passed and it was five more days before homecoming, Luka asked Adrien for his date for homecoming and Adrien said yes! Also, both he and Luka survive, and after some time passes after the homecoming massacre, Luka asks Adrien if he wants his boyfriend and Adrien says yes.

As for Mrs.Bustier, she is Sara’s father but is a teacher to Marinette in this au. She puts a lot of pressure on Marinette to be homecoming queen so she can set a good example to her classmates and if she doesn’t win, her whole family would be disappointed in her and Marinette took that to heart. So she is the same as the canon but her actions have consequences to them.

Now that I got to explain all the characters that I needed to, I finally tell you about the plot and what happens in it! Let’s begin, shall we?

The Plot:

The 1st Act:

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was considered a good role model for the students to strive to be. She was popular, had a supermodel boyfriend, was head of the student council and homecoming committee, and her parents had the best bakery in Paris. Mrs.Bustier says Mari was like a real-life superhero to the whole school and Marinette took that to heart. When Mireille Caquet lost her leg in a wreck, Marinette felt sympathy for her and gave her a sympathetic smile to her when she saw her.

When homecoming nominees were announced, Marinette was static especially when she saw her name on top of the list but was a bit surprised that Mireille’s name was below hers. Marinette heard from a couple of the students that Aurore signed Mireille up to be the homecoming nominee and thought she might win it. Marinette knew that they were only voting for her out of pity so didn’t think much of it at first. When class was over for the day, Mrs.Bustier asked Mari to stay for a bit so they could talk. Mrs.Bustier told Mari that need to be homecoming queen not only because it was Marinette's dream to be one but also to set a good example for her classmates since being homecoming queen is a big deal after all. The last thing Mrs.Bustier told her is she doesn’t want to disappoint her dad and mom, Marinette took those words to heart and after she left, started to get to work immediately on her campaign with the help of the girl squad even if they already wanted to help some of the other nominees but Marinette didn’t hear them and was focused on being homecoming queen.

The 2nd Act:

As weeks go by Marinette tries her hardest to make sure people voted for her by either giving them baked goods, handing out pins, or making a lot of posters, I mean a lot. But Mireille’s numbers were getting much bigger that they surpassed Marinette’s. Marinette was furious and even more determined & desperate to win. She brushes her friends, her boyfriend, the student council, her parents, and everything behind but she keeps imagining Mireille wearing that crown and she hates it. The more votes Mireille, the crazier and angrier Marinette got. She fought with Mylène and Rose a few days ago, when they told her that they were planning to be homecoming queen and wanted to focus on their campaign and thought Mari knew since their names were on the list of homecoming nominees but Marinette didn’t listen, and blew up on them, losing them as friends a long aside Juleka and Alix, with Juleka flipping her the bird for yelling at Rose for reason that isn’t a big deal. The whole thing was caught on camera and was on the internet to see which made people not vote for her and take back their votes.

When Marinette saw Ismael in the hallway, she asked him why he was trying to be the homecoming king. Ismael told her the reason, Marinette didn’t care and said him just wearing a tuxedo would make his mom pissed. Ismael felt offended by that since Mari just assumed he was just doing it to piss his mom and while that is true, he was doing it for other reasons. So he told her off and walked away. Marinette was mad that she couldn’t convince him to stop being homecoming king so her boyfriend could be king.

A few days later, she harassed Cosette about being queen, telling them that they should just quit since they just ended up being a disappointment to their parents either way. Cosette got away from her and told her that it not quitting whether or not Marinette liked it and she could fuck off for its cares. As Cosette walked away from her, Zoé came up to Marinette and slapped or punched her in the face and just glared at her as she walked away from her as well. What Marinette didn’t know was that Simon was filming it and it was uploaded on the internet which made even more people take back their votes for her and made them hate her guts even more.

Lastly, she demanded that Jean and Nath drop out of the competition or else, which Adrien sees and told her off for just trying to make them drop out of the competition. Marinette just glares at him and walks away, Adrien apologizes to the two for having Marinette been acting lately and understands they were mad at her. Jean told him, he doesn’t need to say sorry since he stood up for them, and Nath thanked him and then told him that Mari was acting like a homecoming-obsessed nut job and that Adrien might want to consider his relationship with her, which Adrien thought about for a while now.

Marinette’s parents have been concerned about their daughter lately since they heard what has been happening at school. They try to tell her that she may need to stop being homecoming and cheer up in the process but Marinette doesn’t listen to them since Mrs.Bustier’s words are still lingering in her head, so she tells them that she is dropping out, in reality, isn’t and just brushes them off.

Marinette ends up dumping Alya as a friend when they get into a fight, Alya says that homecoming isn’t everything and it is not going to be important in the long run. Marinette yells at her and tells her if she is not going to support, she could just leave which she points to the trapdoor. Alya, seeing that Marinette isn’t willing to listen, ends up leaving with a look of sadness in her eyes. When Alya left, Marinette looked at the mirror right quickly and upon seeing her reflection felt regret for all things she did so far and tried to text Adrien about what just happened but Adrien could only text that I’m sorry for taking someone else to homecoming and I’m no longer a nominee. Marinette ends up thinking he is taking Mireille (who no longer runs for homecoming queen but Mari doesn’t know that) to homecoming and ends up getting mad with a hint of sadness and throwing her phone against the wall.

Mireille throughout this, never really wanted to be homecoming queen and hated the attention she was getting since she just wanted to be left alone. Her friends see this and ask if she wants to be queen, she struggles at first to tell them at first but ends up telling them the truth. Aurore apologized for the unexpected pressure on Mireille to be homecoming queen since she just wanted to boost her confidence and make her feel better after Mireille lost her leg. Mireille understands where Aurore was coming from and says her comfort would be enough for her. So the two made up and Mireille asked Mr.Damocles if she could drop out of being homecoming queen with the help from Ms.Mendeleiev, which Mr.Damocles ends up helping her with. Mireille ends up helping her friends with their homecoming plans and just getting ready to go to homecoming with Aurore as her date.

The 3rd Act:

The next day at school and the day of the homecoming, Marinette went up to Mrs.Bustier asking for some advice. All Mrs.Bustier said is that why isn’t taking this seriously, there is no future for failures at prom, and she should try harder to be homecoming queen. Marinette just ends up getting mad and running out of school with her collecting some of the other nominee’s posters along the way and just ended up bunking with her. She punched the mirror in anger and stomped on her phone. She cried the moment she snapped and just ended up getting ready with a crazy smile and look in her eye. Marinette looked at the poster of the nominees and realized she needs to take out the competition so she can win. Putting on her homecoming dress, putting on her very messy makeup, getting a duffel bag, and putting the things she needs to ‘talk’ to the other nominees for them to get out of the competition goes to Le Grand Paris where homecoming was held.

When her parents got home, they went up to her room to check on her but as soon as they opened her trapdoor, they saw her room was wrecked. They walked in to see her mirror shattered completely and her phone destroyed. They look around the room then Sabine spots something underneath her daughter’s bed and goes to see what she looks like she saw a ghost. Tom saw the look in her eyes and went to see what she saw. He goes to his wife and checks if she is okay and what she saw. Tom felt horror when he saw the posters of kids that had their eyes crossed off and they all had the same word written on them, saying, traitor. The two cried for a moment before realizing they needed to get to the prom now before it was too late.

When Marinette arrived at the hotel, she went to see Mylène who was near the punch bowl so they ‘talked’ for a bit. She went to say sorry to Myléne for getting mad at her while adding some poison to her drink. Myléne told her that she isn’t ready to forgive yet but appreciated it, Mari said it was fine and walked away from her. Mylène is a bit confused and then goes to drink her punch but then starts to feel bad and coughs up blood. Ivan and some of the other students went to go check up on her, only to find out she died.

While that was happening, Marinette went to the stage to see Rose finishing getting her requirements packed up. While Rose is distracted, Marinette cuts one of the ropes holding one spotlight above Rose’s head which smashes against her head instantly killing her. Marinette left the stage before anyone saw her. Juleka goes up to the stage and cries over her girlfriend’s dead body while Luka comforts her.

While everyone is freaking out about the two unexpected deaths, Marinette stole Reshma, Marc, Zoé, Tomassion, and Aurore's phones to make it easier to find and lure in her other victims as well.

Marinette discovers that Nath is near one of the rooms and goes to find him. Meanwhile, the teachers are evacuating the students, Marc, Zoé, Tomassion, Aurore, and Reshma with the help of Juleka and Ivan go to find the other students that don’t know what is happening. Marc tries to text Nath but can’t find his phone and starts to panic, Aurore calms him down and tells him that it is okay and they find him and the others.

Nath spots Marinette with a hammer and seeing that her dress has some blood on it, realizes that he should run for his life. So he did but Mari jumped on him and before she could bludgeon his brains, he said oh shit before he died of the hammer strike on his head. Marinette texts Jean under the assumption of Austin T that he is in the kitchen and badly hurt. Making Jean believe he needs his help and making it easier for Marinette to find and kill him.

When they got to the place where Nath was, they saw his skull being cracked open by something and someone. Marc is completely heartbroken to see his bountonnière dead on the floor and just holds him close to mourning him. While the others mourn their dead friend and comfort, Marc, and Austin spots a note on the floor and picks it up. He opens it and then immediately has a shock of horror with a mix of disgust on his face. When Zoé asks what's wrong, he tells her and the others that Marinette is the one behind this and who is her next target. Marc and Juleka want revenge for their respective lovers after hearing that. They went to find Marinette and stop her so the rest of their respective S.Os wouldn’t die.

Meanwhile, Jean got to the kitchen to find his boyfriend but couldn’t find him. He realized that someone might have Austin’s phone and went to find him somewhere. But Marinette stops him by slaying him in the stomach with a scalpel, making a huge scar. When Jean collapsed on the floor, she started cutting him, opening and tearing his organs, and marinating them in jars. Ismael, trying to find his friends since he got separated from them by accident, opens the door to find Marinette standing over Jean's corpse. Ismael screams for others to find them and try to get a weapon to attack her with but Marinette knocks him out with chloroform and drags him and gets a chair then heads to the pool.

The others heard Ismael’s scream and followed it to the kitchen where they spotted Jean’s corpse with his belly area open and a look of terror on his face. Austin, seeing his boyfriend’s corpse, sobs and says he should've died instead of Jean. Seeing Austin in a depressed state, Ivan took him to where the rest of the students and staff are currently while the others are still going to find Marinette and stop her.

Meanwhile, Ismael is woken up by Marinette hoarily smiling at him. He tries to get up but he can't, and sees the restraints on his legs, hands, and mouth. Marinette tells him this is what you get for messing with my chances of winning, pushes him into the pool, and uses a remote for the automatic pool cover, leaving him for dead and killing him.

The others agree that splitting up would help them find the others quicker. Marc, Zoé, and Aurore go to find Mireille and Cosette while Juleka and Reshma go to find Ismael. Reshma & Juleka follow the bloody footprints up to the pool and when they get up there, Reshma finds Ismael’s bracelet and knows he must bethere. Juleka realizes that the pool has been covered and picks up a remote to it and uncovers the pool. The two girls look at the pool and see Ismael down there tied up and gagged. Reshma jumps in the pool and swims down to go save Ismael but when she makes it back and puts Ismael on the side of the pool, she tries everything to bring him back but Juleka tells her that he is gone since she checked his pulse and it is no longer moving. Juleka comforts Reshma and tells her that they can still stop Mari from their dead friends. Reshma agreed with her and before leaving they both grabbed weapons to beat up Marinette with.

Mireille and Cosette are hiding in Chloé’s closet from Marinette since she is trying to kill them. Mireille called the police a few minutes ago and she can only hope that comes here very soon. Cosette realizes she needs to fight Marinette so she and Mireille can be saved. So they told Mireille that they were going to fight Mari and they promised to make it back. Mireille knows that they can’t talk it out of it, trust it, and keeps hiding in the closet. Cosette gets a bat or something before heading off to fight Marinette. Mari tries to lure Mireille and Cosette out by using their respective lover’s phones but it doesn’t work. Cosette pulls a sneak attack on Marinette and hits her with a bat and eventually gets themself a knife from Marinette’s bag to get a better advantage and has a good chance of surviving at first. But then Marinette slays its chest halfway open leading to Cosette dropping the knife leaving them powerless. Mireille hears Cosette’s screams of fear and cries before it goes completely silent. Mireille goes to peek at what happens but only for Marinette to knock her out with some chloroform.

The other three made it to Chloé room and opened it to find Mari and hopefully Cosette & Mireille as well. Both Aurore and Marc searched the room but couldn’t find anything. When they go to check on Zoé, only to see her and a torn-up Cosette with her. Go to check up on Zoé, only to see that she is holding her deceased girlfriend's head that says A wannabe on their forehead. And as for Cosette’s body, its arms were torn apart from the body, and her elbows were not attached to it and hands. Their legs were detached from it as well and their feet weren’t attached to it anymore. Lastly, their upper torso was cut apart from the bottom half where the blouse was with the two pieces they were wearing. Aurore felt like throwing up from seeing her friend like this and so did Marc. But Marc saw Marinette’s footprints were leading somewhere else and followed them with Aurore following him as well. Before Zoé follows suit, she says sorry that she couldn’t protect it and be its knight like Cosette expected her to be, before gently putting Cosette’s head on the ground and going to help the others.

The gang met up at the same time and started to plan their attack on their so-called friend. They ended up finding Marinette where the dance was being held up and where the crown was.

Marinette tied up Mireille and covered her mouth before waking her up. Mireille is scared of what is going to happen to her but sees Marinette getting the crown she always wanted. Marinette grabs the scepter and puts the sash on her, doing a little dance before saying she is the queen. What Marinette sees is that everyone is celebrating her coronation and she is smiling while having the dead victims behind her and just bowing to her like she is royalty. While Mari is distracted, Aurore unties Mireille and gets her to safety. Marc, Juleka, Reshma, and Zoé attack her and make sure she doesn’t attack them. With Marc stabbing the side of her body, Reshma holding her hands together, Juleka doing the same thing but with her feet, and Zoé putting her in a headlock so Mari doesn’t try to stop Aurore and Mireille from escaping.

The police arrived and told the kids they got the rest covered. They let go and when Marinette tried to escape, an officer grabbed her before she had the chance and took her crown. Marinette is just kicking and screaming and telling them to let go of her, she is the queen of high school land but Marc told her it is only in her head and flips her off before Marinette was taken away.

The ending:

In the end, Marinette is an asylum for the rest of her life, the whole school especially the S.Os are in therapy to deal with the loss, Mrs. Bustier not only gets slapped by Mrs.Mendeleiev, but gets sued by the parents of the dead kids and Marinette’s parents, and gets fired. While the ghost kids haunt her and Marinette for the rest of their lives and see their loved ones whenever they get the chance.

Some final notes:

I wanted to add what were the dead kids clothes inspired by for the homecoming.

Mylène - Snow White

Rose - Sleeping Beauty

Nathaniel - Rapunzel

Jean - The little mermaid

Ismael - The Frog prince or Cinderella

Cosette - Belle from Beauty & The Beast.

Well that all I want to add before leave. Have a good read everyone and hope you enjoy my rewrite!

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whenimgoodandready · 5 years

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"Live from Mewni, it's The Ponyhead Show!" (applause) It’s The Ponyhead Show! Cooking with Marco and Kelly! Musical Guest: Queen of Darkness, Eclipsa Butterfly! And our host Princess Lilacia Pony Head!

*The Ponyhead Show!-Voice Over:”The Ponyhead Show!” was filmed in front of “a live studio audience”

Ponyhead makes her very own show with help from her on-again-off-again boyfriend, Seahorse, and her sisters by hijacking all electronic devices on Mewni to make them watch. Star brought in Eclipsa to perform a special song she wrote hoping it’ll win the Mewmans over and make her liked cuz Ponyhead “knows about popularity”..........okay sure, let’s go with. Unfortunately, Ponyhead hogs the spotlight for everything like the diva she’ll never change leaving poor Marco and Eclipsa left out in the dust. Ugh! Seriously!? This is the final season and Ponyhead is still the same self centered b****!? Wow! And here I thought she changed. The only thing she’s learned in this show is that people can have more than just one best friend! And yet, she still thinks the world revolves around her! :P.

While that goes on, Star tries to help out Eclipsa get ready and Ponyheads sisters give her a makeover. When I saw the promo, I was conflicted whether that was her or not, but now I see that it’s true and for a second, I thought it was gonna be her new look throughout the rest of the show! Lol! I was like, no way! Too 90’s! Marco accidentally breaks Kelly for a moment when he tells her wrestling is fake and she bounces right back up again shortly after a walk. Huh, it’s the same as how she coped in “Lava Lake Beach”!

The ratings are getting more 😡 as the Mewmans don’t like the show (and more importantly, cuz it’s hijacked so that they can’t even turn it off!) and are rioting outside the Cloud Kingdom. Star has had it with Ponyhead and tells her to shove (a crystal cupcake! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻) and finally puts Eclipsa on the show where she plays a beautiful ballad about how she tries to be their new queen as best as she can while trying to adapt to her new surroundings. Awwwwww. It was nice. Sadly, her performance got ten times more 😡 and Star feels it was a waste of time. Eclipsa on the other hand, says it’s fine cuz she’d rather be real and than a poser. Damn, I wish I could be that chill. Honestly, the Mewmans just kept on hating not because the show sucked and didn’t like Eclipsas song, but because they wanted their f**king devices working again so they could do whatever’s. There’s a little spark of hope though, one little Mewman girl liked Eclipsas song and gave the first 🙂. Thank you, little lady!

Voice Over:The Ponyhead Show! Is brought to you by Reflectacorp Mobile Technology! Now with new DNA compacts!

(sigh) I’m very disappointed in Ponyhead right now. We had a lot of characters change in this show: Star become more mature and responsible, Marco broke out of his shell, Moon became more accepting, Ludo redeemed himself, Tom succeeded in his anger management therapy and Ponyhead, what did she learn? Hmm!? That it’s okay to make new friends. THAT’S IT! She’s still the same selfish and inconsiderate b**** she was since the beginning! She berated Eclipsa on her goth taste and ignored Marco! On the former, I would’ve thought she would show some sympathy since recently Mewmans tried to off her from “Yada Yada Berries” cuz uh, Helloooooo! Ponyhead! YOUR OWN SISTERS TRIED TO OFF YOU TOO! I’m surprised Star is still friends with her! Ponyheads a bad influence! Not that Star was any better before her, but I think Ponyhead made her worse. I’m sorry, but she’s really not that funny to me like how she was supposed to be portrayed even with her being an attention w****. Although, I did feel that maybe she’s getting along better with her sisters a little since they were helping her with the show along with Seahorse, but than I thought, Eh, it’s just for her own benefit. From what Star was saying about the show, with the whole, ��We should’ve pulled the plug a loooong time ago”, I’m guessing she was referring to her friendship with Ponyhead. Star, sweetie, open your eyes, your flying horse friend, IS CRAY-CRAY! (shrugs) Guess not everyone has to change, I mean, maybe we just need one jerk? Also, I don’t know if you guys noticed, but Kelly really knows how to perk up Marco real fast, he quickly got over his annoyance of people thinking his karate moves were a “sword hand dance” when she asked him to dance with her “Monster Bash” and it happens again when she asks him to cook at her place and he happily says yes! (sing song voice) Kellco! As for Eclipsa, that was her voice actresses, Esmé Biancos, actual singing voice! Usually, voice actors don’t do their own characters singing voices, but it’s justified cuz it’s not their fault if they can’t sing and even if they can’t, it’s only done for comedic purposes. For serious cases like this, it’s wonderful if they can do both!

#svtfoe #the ponyhead show!#svtfoe the ponyhead show!

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gleefuldarrencrissfan · 7 years

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Chapters: 17/? Fandom: Glee Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel Characters: Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson, Rachel Berry, Finn Hudson, Noah Puckerman, Santana Lopez, Sue Sylvester, Brittany S. Pierce, Artie Abrams, Carmen Tibideaux, Jesse St. James, Quinn Fabray, Sam Evans, Mercedes Jones, Kitty Wilde, Sebastian Smythe, Jake Puckerman, Marley Rose, Ryder Lynn, Will Schuester, Emma Pillsbury, Coach Beiste Additional Tags: Competition, Reality TV, Alternate Universe, Eventual Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson & Sam Evans Friendship, Kurt Hummel & Rachel Berry friendship, Duet, Slow Burn Summary:

“Noah, take a seat,” Carmen ordered.

“I prefer Puck.”

“We don’t really care what you prefer,” Sue sneered. “Do you want to tell us why you think you’re here today?”

“Because you want to tell me how much the viewers loved my badassness?” Puck replied with a small chuckle.

“Actually, it’s due to your inability to keep it in your pants,” Jesse retorted..

“Woah, what am I being accused of?” Puck inquired.

“Are you, the self-proclaimed ‘sex shark’, trying to claim that you haven’t slept with a contestant?” Sue taunted.

“No, I really haven’t yet,” Puck claimed.

“So it’s just a judge, then?” Sue accused.

“W-what, Puck stammered?

“Do you admit it, or do we have to bring out the evidence,” Sue threatened.

“What am I admitting to?”

“Let’s just say you are guilty of multiple infractions?” Carmen stated.

“Huh?” Puck said, scratching his head.

“What she means is that you are in breach of your contract on multiple accounts,” Wesley stated.

“Just tell me straight what I supposedly did, dude. I haven’t done anything inappropriate in the house.” Puck huffed.

“Yes, technically, you didn’t do anything in the house, unless you count the pool house, which I had bugged, by the way,” Sue revealed with sly grin. “So cut the bull, Mr. T, and admit what you did.”

Puck gulped. “Well, Ms. July and I got a little wasted in the pool house a few times. For such a little chick, she can hold her alcohol even better than me. We played some drinking games, and I have to honestly say I don’t remember everything we did afterwards, except retching in the pool. I did clean it afterwards though, free of charge,” he smirked.

“Mr. Puckerman, I’m afraid that won’t do you any good. Although thank you for not leaving it in the pool. Although, mightn’t it have been a good idea to clean up the pool house too?” Carmen asked.

“Uh, yeah, that might have been a better plan,” he admitted. “So I’m getting booted over a few drinks and getting freaky with the hot judge?”

“Mr. Puckerman, we told you, we actually have some other infractions that could actually get you incarcerated,” Wes warned, “but we won’t press charges if you come clean about them all and leave quietly. No one can know you made the show. We are spinning it as if you were cut in the audition rounds.”

“Pressing charges for drinking and a couple of blow jobs?” Puck asked. “Which of those is illegal? I’m over 21.”

“You broke your contractual agreement of sobriety, not to mention using illegal substances. Cannabis is illegal here.”

“Huh?”

“Pot, Puckerman,” Jesse answered.

“Oh, I thought it was legal here. Mr….I mean, the person that sold it to me said that it was ok if it was medicinal.”

“Ignorance and stupidity is not a medical condition,” Sue snarked. “And you are lucky we aren’t pressing charges. We heard that you don’t do well locked up.” Sue held up an envelope. That scar on your nipple. I can’t believe you had that thing put back in after those hoods ripped it out when you were in Juvie. And now you need to spill the rest of your indiscretions. What about the Prom Queen?”

“I didn’t have sex with her. I wanted to, but that girl is uptight, although I don’t think I’m the only one on the chopping block if you really want to throw out anyone playing hide the sausage.”

“That is no concern to you, Mr. Puckerman. You have committed multiple infractions, therefore, you are dismissed,” Madam Tibbideux explained. “You need to collect your belongings and leave the premises immediately.”

“Wait, I’m off the show?”

“Yea, Mr. T, you are. “Now, get the hell out of my office and the house. You have five minutes before I allow Becky to get out the matches,” Sue warned.

“But wait, you guys were serious about all of that? Like I said, I didn't actually tap that. I mean she did play with my…”

“Mr. Puckerman, you are dismissed. Good day to you, sir,” Carmen asserted.

“Alright, let’s go!” Shannon barked, escorting him out of Sue’s office.

“Man, this is bull!” he yelled,storming out of the office and nearly slamming into Kurt.

“Puck, are you ok?” Kurt asked.

“I’m out man. Hopefully, you and Curly bow tie boy didn’t do the dirty in the pool house. She has it totally bugged, man.”

“Um, no. I can’t say that I did,” Kurt answered. “I’m not really sure why I’m here.”

“I don’t know, but apparently, I have 5 minutes to get my stuff out or Sue’s gonna burn it, so I gotta go. Good luck man.”

Puck was being sent home? Kurt’s mind began to race. What if they regretted hiring him as a stylist? What if they decided to send him home after the situation with Sebastian? Kurt’s anxiety began to rush over him until he was a quivering bundle of nerves. He just got back here, and he didn’t want to leave again.

“Come in, Mr. Hummel,” Carmen summoned.

“Did I do something wrong?” The countertenor questioned

“No, we just wanted to inform you that you were an absolute hit on Twitter. Audiences loved you. And we haven’t really announced this to the other contestants yet, but unfortunately, we dismissed Mr. Puckerman due to breach of contract. That leaves his spot vacant, that is, unless you would like to rejoin the contestants on the show.”

“Really? I’m back on the show?” Kurt gushed. His nerves instantly relaxed, and he sat down calmly in an empty chair.

“Well, Mr. Hummel, audiences were impressed with your talent and your personality. And the other contestants love you. We hated that you left the show, and honestly, you would be helping us out so that we have even numbers again. What do you say?” Carmen asked.

“Yes, absolutely!” Kurt smiled. “I’d love to.”

“Now, before we make it official, we have to have you look back over the contract again. We are very serious with all of the stipulations that you agreed to. So before you accept, we need to address the allegations of a possible relationship with Elliott Gilbert,” Wes stated.

“We’re just friends,” the brunette answered. “Then, how do you explain this,” Sue asked, turning around the monitor of the PC screen. It was a very clear photo of the kiss between himself and Elliott.”

“It’s not what it looks like,” Kurt started to explain.

“Really, because it looks like you and Glitter Rock are playing tonsil hockey,” Sue taunted.

“He kissed me, but it was because he was trying to get a guy to leave me alone. He thought if he claimed to be my boyfriend, the other guy would back off. Besides, Mr. Thompson informed me that dating a crew member was not against the rules. However, I’m not nor will I see a co-worker.”

“Very well, Mr. Hummel. Well, we need you to read back over the contract and give us an answer as quickly as possible. If we extended this to you, could you commit to it?” Carmen asked.

“I think so, but I would like to run it by my dad. I’d be leaving him again. And I really don’t think I could abide by the family contact clause. I really would need to check in with him daily.”

“Done. We installed computers and set up email accounts. We could make an exception so that you could email your father daily to check in for peace of mind. Any other concerns?” Madam Tibbideaux asked.

“Mr. Smythe,” Kurt answered.

“I’m sorry, but he’s a contestant too, and so far, he hasn’t broken his contract. For this next performance, we will pair you with Puckerman’s partner, Finn Hudson. Is that ok? I know that puts you at a slight disadvantage, but we will help you in any way possible.”Carmen assured him with a soft smile.

“No, that’s fine. Finn is a great guy, and I think we’ll sound amazing together,” Kurt smiled.

“Very good then. As for Mr. Smythe, we can try to make sure that you two don’t room together or get paired for a duet, but that’s the best we can do,” Carmen sympathized. “Although, we are confident that you can handle him. I heard he’s been a lot more corrigible since the little incident, ” she smiled knowingly.

“Yeah, it was pretty unfortunate. Red definitely wasn’t his color,” he chuckled nervously.

“No it wasn’t,” Carmen smiled. “Welcome back, Mr. Hummell.

“Come on in, and take a seat,” Carmen told the blonde. “We need to have a serious talk.” The dancer looked around, and seeing Wes Montgomery, one of the show’s attorney’s,she hesitated to sit. “What’s going on?”

“I’m sorry, but we need to discuss your contract with the show. You have been in breach of your contract several times, and we have decided that you are no longer a fit for this production,” Mr. Figgins explained calmly.

“Excuse me? I’m being fired! she screamed. “How dare you? Over what?”

“Ms. July. We ask you to hold your temper,” Wes advised. “You know that there have been several incidences, and lately, you haven’t really been executing your duties with the professionalism that you are required to exhibit as a judge on this show. You have arrived late, clearly intoxicated.”

“What I do on my own time is my own business,” Cassie objected angrily. “I have a life, and I’m not a contestant. I didn’t have to sign a contract about my use of substances. I’m of legal age to drink.”

“Yes, but marijuana is still illegal. Not to mention, we have reason to believe that you have been not only smoking it, but you have also been behaving inappropriately with a contestant.”

She walked right over to Sue and stuck her finger directly in her face. “Excuse me! How dare you accuse me of such nonsense,” she warned. Ms. July’s face was bright red with rage as she, for a moment, took her hands and started pushing things off of Mr. Figgin’s desk. A cell phone hit the ground.

Sue slapped her finger away from her nose. “Watch it Roxie! You might want to pick that up and push play,” Sue said. “I’d say the nonsense is what came out of your mouth.”

Cassie pushed play and listened. The video was blurry, and you couldn’t actually see who was making the racket. “Seriously, this is what you are using to prove this was me. That doesn’t really sound like me. You can’t prove that this is me at all.”

“Actually we can. Mr. T squealed, kinda like you did in this video,” Sue smirked.

“It wasn’t me.” Cassie said, rolling her eyes.

“Then explain why your hair was found in the poolhouse,” Sue chided.

“Like I’m the only blonde,” she sneered.

“Yours is the longest and dirtiest,” Sue pointed out.

“What about the dancer chick? Or the mouthy chick. Or the Prom Queen. They are all blondes.

Sue leaned over and snatched a strand of hair from Cassie’s head. “None of their hair samples match this one, Sue cackled, tossing the baggie on the table. “Seriously, what were you thinking? Sleeping with a contestant!”

“You still don’t have proof that we actually slept together,” Cassie argued.

“No, and we don’t need it because just you fraternizing with him and using illegal substances is enough to terminate you,” Mr. Figgins explained. “Ms. July, you need to remove your personal effects and leave the premises immediately.”

“Whatever, I hated this gig anyway,” she huffed, rolling her eyes and slamming the door behind her.

“Well, that actually went better than I would have imagined,” Carmen commented. “I know she has a history of lashing out. Do you have a replacement in mind? The live shows start next week.”

“Yeah, we are looking at a few, but actually we thought we might try a celebrity judge or two,” Mr. Figgins commented. “With your contacts, I know that you could help us find a few people.”

“I know quite a few celebrities as well. I once shot a video of ‘Physical’ right along with the original Ms. Olivia Newton John,” Sue gloated. “Not to mention, I personally know Michael Bolton.”

“Great,” Carmen commented. “So are we ready to make the adjustments for the show tonight?” Carmen asked.

“I think we have it covered.”

“Wait right here!” Shannon barked. “And no funny business!”

“The two blondes shook a little at her order.”

“What’s going on? the blonde girl asked.

“Do you think they know. I mean, Puck is packin’ right now. I can’t believe he’s leaving. The show didn’t even officially start, and they just sent him home. I mean, I know that he was rough around the edges, but he was a good guy,” Sam said.

The skinny blonde nodded. “He is, surprisingly, Quinn admitted. “I mean, he was a total player though. Maybe it’s for the best.”

“Guppy mouth, Feberge’, get your butts in here. You want to explain this?” Sue held up the baggie. “At first, I thought the Prom Queen and Geronimo were knocking boots, but we found this long blonde hair in the bathroom. No big deal. The same girl lost a couple strands of hair, except that they don’t come from the same head, DNA doesn’t lie. So why would your hair be found together, on the same towel.

“Sam loaned me his towel after I got out of the hot tub. He was about to get in, but I forgot my towel so he lent me his. My back was hurting due to my injury, and his muscles were sore from overdoing it in dance rehearsal. He was being sweet,” Quinn explained quickly.

“Oh, well that makes sense,” Sue said. “So you just gave him the towel to use after you dried off you drenched hair.”

“Well, I’m sure that the steam from the hot tub dried that towel right up. I offered to bring him another, but he’s such a gentlemen. He told me that he would just use that one so I didn’t have to go get from from the dryer,” Quinn explained.

“And the sore muscles and back pain, that’s what all the moans and giggles were about, right?” Sue inquired.

“Exactly, Sam grinned. “She gave me a shoulder rub.”

“And what else did she rub while you were in the hottub together?” Sue asked slyly.

Sam frowned. “Nothing.”

“So you didn’t have sex?”

“Of course not,” Quinn answered with a smile.

‘Very good, Queenie. I almost believed your little act of innocence, that is, if we didn’t have audio of your squeaky little voices on the camera. And here you were badmouthing Stegasaurus Head for being a manwhore when you were doing the dirty with his friend.

“Ms. Sylvester, we really didn’t sleep together,” Sam reiterated what Quinn had said earlier.

“And you expect me to digest that steaming pile of horse poo you just tried to shovel down my throat. Seriously?”

“Yes, we do.” Quinn answered.

“And why would I?” Sue questioned.

“Because Quinn is a tease,” Sam blurted. “And I’m not a manwhore.

“So much for being a gentleman, Sam,” Quinn accused, rolling her eyes.

“Well, what else do I call it? All you ever let us do was make out. I could barely touch you,” Sam replied.

“Whatever, Sam. Mrs. Sylvester, you aren’t really going to toss us over this? Seriously?” Quinn asked.

“No, but don’t think that just because you two didn’t actually do the nasty, you get to get off scott free?”

“You’re going to kick us out?” Sam asked, frowning.

“No, but only because you both were too pathetic to actually get down and dirty, but mark my words, there will come a time I may need your assistance, which I will expect your total allegiance, unless you want this released,” Sue warned. As she was talking to them, her foot grabbed Quinn’s purse strap and casually pulled it under her desk so that the blonde didn’t see it.

“Meaning?” asked Sam.

“I’m doing you a favor. I may need you to do one for me,” she smiled slyly. “This is a warning. If it happens again, you are out on your ass. Clear?”

Sam nodded. Quinn stared at her stoned faced.

“Now, get the hell out of my office,” Sue roared.

Sam turned quickly to head for the door. He motioned for Quinn to go first, and he exited behind her closely.

“That was close!” Sam sighed.

“She’s not going to kick us out. They wouldn’t have enough people for the show,” Quinn reasoned. “She’s just trying to intimidate us.”

“I can do intimidations. Alright, alright, alright. Let’s go play the bongos with our shirts off,” he smirked, trying to sound like Matthew Mcconaughey.

“Uh, really Sam? That’s what you say immediately after we about get kicked off of the show?” Quinn said, rolling her eyes.

“Hey, Barbie, get your butt back in here. You forgot something?” Becky screamed.

“Oh, I forgot my purse. Go on without me Sam,” She assured him.

Quinn walked right in grinning slying, not waiting for Becky to see her in. “So what did you want that you couldn’t say in front of Sam?”

“Q, you’re smart, but you underestimate me. I know you and Beiber hair didn’t have sex, but I know you aren’t as innocent as you claim to be. Actually, from what I understand you were a grade A bitch in school, just like one Sue sylvester.”

“I’m nothing like you,” Quinn remarked.

“Oh, no dear, you are just like me, in that we both use our beauty and intelligence to get what we want. And you have something I want.”

“And what makes you think you can manipulate me?” Quinn challenged, her hands on her hips.

“How old is Beth now?” Sue questioned, tossing a file folder on the table.

“How did you know about Beth?”

“I told you. I know how to get what I want. I also know that you don’t necessarily care about winning this. You just want to get back at your ex, and you wanted to make a name for yourself. Which won’t happen if you get eliminated now?’

“What do you want?” Quinn asked through gritted teeth.

Sue tossed a cell phone on the table. “Put it on silent. If it vibrates, you answer it.”

“Alright contestants. Round two of the Twitter-off is about to commence. Before this airs, we know that you are fully aware that Mr. Puckerman is no longer a contestant on the show,” Carmen stated. “Please heed the example and make sure that you are abiding by all of the terms in your contract. That being said, it left us with a vacancy, so without further ado, we would like to welcome back Mr. Hummel.”

Kurt stepped into the room, smiling directly at Blaine.

“Frankenteen, Kurt will take Smuckerman’s place in your duet,” Jesse snickered. “I hope that your song calls for Alvin, Simon, and Theodore.”

“Um, we were doing ‘We Will Rock You.’ Is that in your wheelhouse?” Finn asked Kurt nervously.

“I actually have a pretty wide range. It extends almost 3 octaves, so I think our ranges are similar. I actually have an idea that I think will work,” Kurt smiled.

“Cool dude,” Finn smirked, stepforward to fistbump Kurt.

“Alright, moving on. Our live show airs soon. We have some changes we would like to discuss. We have also decided that Sue will stay on the judging panel with Mr. St. James and I,” Carmen explained. “However, we have excused Ms. July from the judging panel due to some issues that we will not discuss. We have decided, instead of hiring a new judge, we will have guest celebrity judges each week. And regarding the vacated stylist job, Mr. Hummel has agreed to help you with your look as much as he can, but we have given his clients out to his assistant, Chandler. If there are no questions, we will move on,” remarked Carmen.

“Why did Puck leave?” asked Brittany.

“We aren’t going to go into details, but he was in violation of his contract. That’s all I’m going to disclose. Any other questions not pertaining to the departures of Ms. July or Mr. Puckerman?” Carmen asked.

Nobody uttered a word. “Very well. Moving on to the show tonight. The pace of the show is a little slower, so you should have a little time to type out more this time than last. Please remember the guidelines about acceptable tweets, as opposed to inappropriate comments. If you have any hateful or inappropriate comments directed at you, do not take the bait and alert us immediately. Do not tweet that you made the show until we reveal it at the end of the show. And you don’t have to answer every tweet. If they ask personal questions, you may answer at your discretion, but we do have your profile pages going up tomorrow, so you can direct them to check that out tomorrow.”

“Alright, we have to excuse ourselves but our tech guru and his assistant is back to help you again,” Jesse added.

Jacob walked into the room, his eyes focused on Rachel. He waved tentatively. “Alright, everybody. We have 12 laptops, so we will have to disperse them to the girls first, because their footage is first. After your footage is over, you might want to pass it on. A few of the guys that tweeted from the crew and band are here once again to tweet to keep the audience in suspense until the last moment, so make sure that you don’t reveal anything about any of the current contestants until it has been announced if someone made the show or not. Regarding Noah Puckerman, he composed a tweet before he left, which Lauren will post for him. No one else is to tweet about his departure. Understood?” The contestants nodded, and the laptops were dispersed among the girls.

Dueling Duets- Rachel Berry:

Hello again. My performance is coming up, so I wanted to let you know that I was already here, ready to chat.

Dueling Duets- Rachel Berry:

I bet that you are curious about what I chose to sing.

-SantanaLopez reply @ Rachel Berry:

And I’ll take that bet that most people don’t care.

Pendleton reply @ Santana Lopez:

I don’t. I’m here for all of the hotties.

-GerberbabyHarmony reply @ Santana Lopez:

Yeah! Bring on the cutie with the triangle eyebrows and the cute bowties

-Skank Shelia reply @ Santana Lopez:

and the hottie with the auburn hair and blue, green, gray eyes.

--Skank Ronnie reply @ Skank Shelia:

Both gay! Remember!

--Skank Shelia reply @ Skank Ronnie:

Yeah, whatever! They are probably just saying that so that we won’t hassle them.

Dueling Duets- Rachel Berry:

Kurt was my roommate. Trust me. It’s not a put on. He’s perfect gold star gay.

-LittleSunShine reply@ Rachel Berry:

Well, shoot.

Dueling Duets- Tina Cohen Chang:

Sorry ladies. They both said they were gay to me. But I get it. I thought they were both attractive too.

--LittleSunshine reply @ Tina Cohen Chang:

I bet they’d make a cute couple. They are so adorable!

--GerberBabyHarmony reply @ LittleSunshine:

I’d ship them. Awwww!

--AdamsApple reply @ GerberBabyHarmony:

It is my recollection from last night’s tweets that contestants can’t date one another. Pity!

--LittleSunshine reply @ LittleSunshine:

Well, shoot! :-( Both such cuties.

--AdamsApple reply @ GerberBabyHarmony:

I’d have to disagree. Kurt is gorgeous! The other one looks a little too much like a pigmy for my taste.

Pendleton reply @ AdamsApple:

Gel-ous much! Get it, because of all of the gel. :-)

Dueling Duets- Rachel Berry:

Anyways, back to the performances. Though I have to say my performance of “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now” was unmatched.

Mercedes Jones reply @ Rachel Berry:

Oh, Hell to the No girl. Let the tweeters decided.

-- BeatricefutureDuetsStar@ Mercedes Jones:

Your performance on last night’s show was amazing. I can’t wait to see what song you do.

-- BeatricefutureDuetsStar@ Mercedes Jones:

I want to be on the show so bad. I practiced all summer long. I didn’t make it past the first round.

-- BeatricefutureDuetsStar@ Mercedes Jones:

Any advice?

Mercedes Jones reply @ BeatriceFutureDuetsStar:

Practice everyday. Join a glee club or choir and surround yourself with other passionate people.

--Rachel Berry reply @ BeatriceFutureDuetsStar:

I agree with Mercedes. Pick a few great songs, and practice, practice, practice.

Rachel Berry reply @ BeatriceFutureDuetsStar:

-- I used to post performances on Myspace and Youtube.

--Mercedes Jones reply @ Rachel Berry:

She wasn’t asking you.

Dueling Duets- Mercedes Jones:

However, Rachel isn’t wrong. It’s important to have some great songs in your wheelhouse.

Dueling Duets- Mercedes Jones:

-That’s why I picked Ain’t No Way by my idol, Aretha Franklin for this final performance.

-LittleSunShine reply@ Mercedes Jones:

You sound incredible. I bet you would sound great on Beyonce songs too.

Kurt sat quietly on the couch and watched some of the tweets shoot across the screen. He was so caught up in the show, that he didn’t even realize that someone had sat down right beside him. “Hey Kurt,” the dark haired boy said as he patted Kurt’s knee.

“Oh hey, Kurt squealed a little louder than he meant.

“I heard the exciting news. You’re back on the show. That’s great! I missed you so much!” Blaine smiled, engulfing Kurt in a hug.

“I missed you too. I’m excited,” Kurt squeaked. ”Although I am a little worried about the duet. Finn is great, but I’m no rock and roller.

“I beg to differ. You were quite the rock star the other night,” Elliott responded, walking over to Kurt.

“Hey Elliott,” Blaine smiled. “What’s this about Rockstar Kurt?”

“Oh, Kurt and I did a duet the other night. A song called Rockstar. And Kurt was fantastic.”

“But of course he was. Kurt is fabulous. Although, I’ve never heard him sing a rock song before. I’m kinda jealous,” Blaine pouted.

“Oh, I think everyone was jealous, after he swung around that pole like that,” Sugar blurted, pulling out her phone. “It was pretty hot!”

Blaine cocked his eyebrows. “Wait, what?”

“For real, Ladylips?” asked Santana, nearly dropping the Laptop., “You on a stripper pole? I didn’t know you had it in you. You just gave off this baby penguin vibe.”

“No baby penguin here, honey. Just look at this hotness!” Unique said, scrolling through each picture on Sugar’s phone. Apparently the idea of Kurt getting his stripper act on was more intriguing than the show, and Jacob had to tell the girls to focus.

“Oops, I gotta tweet, baby. There’s just a few more if you just want to hand Sugar her phone back when you are done.

“Damn, Kurt!” Blaine chuckled. “I thought you said you were uncomfortable with sexy. You certainly have me fooled,” Blaine chuckled nervously as he scrolled through the pictures of the sweet, innocent boy that he was crushing on so much. Although in those pictures, there was nothing angelic at all. They was absolutely sinful. Damn those photos. Blaine crossed his legs trying once again to conceal his lust for the now blushing boy beside him. He noted how Elliott was even more flirty toward him than usual. He tried to shrug it off. Elliott flirted with everyone, right?

That was, until he scrolled to the final picture. Without saying a word, Blaine sat the phone on the couch arm, stood up, and walked out of the room.

“I wonder what that was about? He seemed upset.” Elliott chuckled, until he lifted the phone and saw what had caused the reaction. “Um Kurt, did you look at the final photo?” Elliott asked nervously.

“No, why?” Kurt answered, but he didn’t need an answer. On the screen in front of him was a photo of he and Elliott, lips interlocked in a searing kiss. The phone slipped out of Kurt’s hand as a look of sheer panic spread across his face.

“Crap! Blaine!” Kurt called. “Blaine wait!” He yelled, running after him.

#klaine fanfiction #glee fanfiction

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blackkudos · 7 years

Text

Bessie Smith

Bessie Smith (April 15, 1894 – September 26, 1937) was an American blues singer. Nicknamed the Empress of the Blues, she was the most popular female blues singer of the 1920s and 1930s. She is often regarded as one of the greatest singers of her era and was a major influence on other jazz singers.

Life

The 1900 census indicates that Smith was born in Chattanooga, Tennessee, in July 1892, a date provided by her mother. The 1910 census gave her age as 16. A birth date of April 15, 1894, appears on subsequent documents and was observed as her birthday by the Smith family. The 1870 and 1880 censuses report three older half-siblings, but later interviews with Smith's family and contemporaries did not mention them among her siblings.

She was the daughter of Laura (born Owens) and William Smith, a laborer and part-time Baptist preacher (he was listed in the 1870 census as a "minister of the gospel", in Moulton, Lawrence County, Alabama). He died while his daughter was too young to remember him. By the time Bessie was nine, her mother and a brother had also died. Her older sister Viola took charge of caring for her siblings.

To earn money for their impoverished household, Smith and her brother Andrew began busking on the streets of Chattanooga; she sang and danced, and he accompanied her on the guitar. Their favorite location was in front of the White Elephant Saloon at Thirteenth and Elm streets, in the heart of the city's African-American community.

In 1904, her oldest brother, Clarence, left home, joining a small traveling troupe owned by Moses Stokes. "If Bessie had been old enough, she would have gone with him," said Clarence's widow, Maud. "That's why he left without telling her, but Clarence told me she was ready, even then. Of course, she was only a child."

In 1912, Clarence returned to Chattanooga with the Stokes troupe and arranged an audition for his sister with the managers of the troupe, Lonnie and Cora Fisher. She was hired as a dancer rather than a singer, because the company already included the well-known singer Ma Rainey. Smith eventually moved on to performing in various chorus lines, making the "81" Theater in Atlanta her home base. She also performed in shows on the black-owned (Theater Owners Booking Association) (T.O.B.A.) circuit and became its biggest star after she signed a recording contract with Columbia Records.

Smith's recording career began in 1923. She was then living in Philadelphia, where she met Jack Gee, a security guard, whom she married on June 7, 1923, just as her first record was being released. During the marriage Smith became the highest-paid black entertainer of the day, heading her own shows, which sometimes featured as many as 40 troupers, and touring in her own custom-built railroad car. Their marriage was stormy with infidelity on both sides, including numerous female lovers for Bessie. Gee was impressed by the money but never adjusted to show business life or to Smith's bisexuality. In 1929, when she learned of his affair with another singer, Gertrude Saunders, Smith ended the relationship, although neither of them sought a divorce.

Smith later entered a common-law marriage with an old friend, Richard Morgan, who was Lionel Hampton's uncle. She stayed with him until her death.

Career

All contemporary accounts indicate that while Rainey did not teach Smith to sing, she probably helped her develop a stage presence. Smith began forming her own act around 1913, at Atlanta's "81" Theater. By 1920, she had established a reputation in the South and along the East Coast.

In 1920, sales of over 100,000 copies of "Crazy Blues," recorded for Okeh Records by the singer Mamie Smith (no relation), pointed to a new market. The recording industry had not directed its product to black people, but the success of the record led to a search for female blues singers. Bessie Smith was signed to Columbia Records in 1923 by Frank Walker, a talent agent who had seen her perform years earlier. Her first session for Columbia was on February 15, 1923. For most of 1923, her records were issued on Columbia's regular A-series. When the company established a "race records" series, Smith's "Cemetery Blues" (September 26, 1923) was the first issued.

Both sides of her first record, "Downhearted Blues" backed with "Gulf Coast Blues", were hits (an earlier recording of "Downhearted Blues" by its co-writer Alberta Hunter had previously been released by Paramount Records). Smith became a headliner on the T.O.B.A. circuit and rose to become its top attraction in the 1920s. Working a heavy theater schedule during the winter and performing in tent shows the rest of the year (eventually traveling in her own railroad car), Smith became the highest-paid black entertainer of her day. Columbia nicknamed her "Queen of the Blues," but the press soon upgraded her title to "Empress of the Blues".

Smith had a strong contralto voice, which recorded well from her first session, which was conducted when recordings were made acoustically. With the advent of electrical recording (her first electrical recording was "Cake Walking Babies [From Home]", recorded on May 5, 1925), the sheer power of her voice was even more evident. She was also able to benefit from the new technology of radio broadcasting, even on stations in the segregated South. For example, after giving a concert for a white-only audience at a theater in Memphis, Tennessee, in October 1923, she then performed a late-night concert on station WMC, which was well received by the radio audience.

She made 160 recordings for Columbia, often accompanied by the finest musicians of the day, notably Louis Armstrong, Coleman Hawkins, Fletcher Henderson, James P. Johnson, Joe Smith, and Charlie Green.

Broadway

Smith's career was cut short by the Great Depression, which nearly put the recording industry out of business, and the advent of "talkies", which spelled the end of vaudeville. She never stopped performing, however. The days of elaborate vaudeville shows were over, but Smith continued touring and occasionally sang in clubs. In 1929, she appeared in a Broadway musical, Pansy. The play was a flop; top critics said she was its only asset.

Film

In 1929, Smith made her only film appearance, starring in a two-reeler, St. Louis Blues, based on W. C. Handy's song of the same name. In the film, directed by Dudley Murphy and shot in Astoria, Queens, she sings the title song accompanied by members of Fletcher Henderson's orchestra, the Hall Johnson Choir, the pianist James P. Johnson and a string section—a musical environment radically different from that of any of her recordings.

Swing Era

In 1933, John Hammond, who also mentored Billie Holiday, asked Smith to record four sides for Okeh (which had been acquired by Columbia Records in 1925). He claimed to have found her in semi-obscurity, working as a hostess in a speakeasy on Ridge Avenue in Philadelphia. Smith worked at Art's Cafe on Ridge Avenue, but not as a hostess and not until the summer of 1936. In 1933, when she made the Okeh sides, she was still touring. Hammond was known for his selective memory and gratuitous embellishments.

Smith was paid a non-royalty fee of $37.50 for each selection on these Okeh sides, which were her last recordings. Made on November 24, 1933, they serve as a hint of the transformation she made in her performances as she shifted her blues artistry into something that fit the swing era. The relatively modern accompaniment is notable. The band included such swing era musicians as the trombonist Jack Teagarden, the trumpeter Frankie Newton, the tenor saxophonist Chu Berry, the pianist Buck Washington, the guitarist Bobby Johnson, and the bassist Billy Taylor. Benny Goodman, who happened to be recording with Ethel Waters in the adjoining studio, dropped by and is barely audible on one selection. Hammond was not entirely pleased with the results, preferring to have Smith revisit her old blues sound. "Take Me for a Buggy Ride" and "Gimme a Pigfoot (And a Bottle of Beer)", both written by Wesley Wilson, were among her most popular recordings. Billie Holiday, who credited Smith as a major influence (along with Louis Armstrong), made her first record for Columbia three days later with the same band.

Death

On September 26, 1937, Smith was critically injured in a car crash while traveling along U.S. Route 61 between Memphis, Tennessee, and Clarksdale, Mississippi. Her lover, Richard Morgan, was driving and misjudged the speed of a slow-moving truck ahead of him. Tire marks at the scene suggested that Morgan tried to avoid the truck by driving around its left side, but he hit the rear of the truck side-on at high speed. The tailgate of the truck sheared off the wooden roof of Smith's old Packard. Smith, who was in the passenger seat, probably with her right arm or elbow out the window, took the full brunt of the impact. Morgan escaped without injuries.

The first people on the scene were a Memphis surgeon, Dr. Hugh Smith (no relation), and his fishing partner, Henry Broughton. In the early 1970s, Hugh Smith gave a detailed account of his experience to Bessie's biographer Chris Albertson. This is the most reliable eyewitness testimony about the events surrounding her death.

After stopping at the accident scene, Hugh Smith examined the singer, who was lying in the middle of the road with obviously severe injuries. He estimated she had lost about a half pint of blood and immediately noted a major traumatic injury to her right arm; it had been almost completely severed at the elbow. He stated that this injury alone did not cause her death. Although the light was poor, he observed only minor head injuries. He attributed her death to extensive and severe crush injuries to the entire right side of her body, consistent with a sideswipe collision.

Broughton and Smith moved the singer to the shoulder of the road. Smith dressed her arm injury with a clean handkerchief and asked Broughton to go to a house about 500 feet off the road to call an ambulance.

By the time Broughton returned, about 25 minutes later, Bessie Smith was in shock. Time passed with no sign of the ambulance, so Hugh Smith suggested that they take her into Clarksdale in his car. He and Broughton had almost finished clearing the back seat when they heard the sound of a car approaching at high speed. Smith flashed his lights in warning, but the oncoming car failed to stop and plowed into his car at full speed. It sent his car careening into Bessie Smith's overturned Packard, completely wrecking it. The oncoming car ricocheted off Hugh Smith's car into the ditch on the right, barely missing Broughton and Bessie Smith.

The young couple in the new car did not have life-threatening injuries. Two ambulances arrived on the scene from Clarksdale, one from the black hospital, summoned by Broughton, the other from the white hospital, acting on a report from the truck driver, who had not seen the accident victims.

Bessie Smith was taken to Clarksdale's G. T. Thomas Afro-American Hospital, where her right arm was amputated. She died that morning without regaining consciousness. After her death, an often repeated but now discredited story emerged that she had died as a result of having been refused admission to a whites-only hospital in Clarksdale. The jazz writer and producer John Hammond gave this account in an article in the November 1937 issue of Down Beat magazine. The circumstances of Smith's death and the rumor promoted by Hammond formed the basis for Edward Albee's 1959 one-act play The Death of Bessie Smith.

"The Bessie Smith ambulance would not have gone to a white hospital, you can forget that," Hugh Smith told Albertson. "Down in the Deep South cotton country, no ambulance driver, or white driver, would even have thought of putting a colored person off in a hospital for white folks."

Smith's funeral was held in Philadelphia a little over a week later, on October 4, 1937. Her body was originally laid out at Upshur's funeral home. As word of her death spread through Philadelphia's black community, the body had to be moved to the O.V. Catto Elks Lodge to accommodate the estimated 10,000 mourners who filed past her coffin on Sunday, October 3. Contemporary newspapers reported that her funeral was attended by about seven thousand people. Far fewer mourners attended the burial at Mount Lawn Cemetery, in nearby Sharon Hill. Gee thwarted all efforts to purchase a stone for his estranged wife, once or twice pocketing money raised for that purpose.

Unmarked grave

Smith's grave was unmarked until a tombstone was erected on August 7, 1970, paid for by the singer Janis Joplin and Juanita Green, who as a child had done housework for Smith.

Dory Previn wrote a song about Joplin and the tombstone, "Stone for Bessie Smith", on her album Mythical Kings and Iguanas.

The Afro-American Hospital, now the Riverside Hotel, was the site of the dedication of the fourth historical marker on the Mississippi Blues Trail.

Hit records

Selected awards and recognition

Grammy Hall of Fame

Three recordings by Smith were inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame, an award established in 1973 to honor recordings that are at least 25 years old and that have "qualitative or historical significance".

National Recording Registry

In 2002, Smith's recording of "Downhearted Blues" was included in the National Recording Registry by the National Recording Preservation Board of the Library of Congress. The board annually selects recordings that are "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant".

"Downhearted Blues" was included in the list of Songs of the Century by the Recording Industry of America and the National Endowment for the Arts in 2001. It is in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as one of the 500 songs that shaped rock 'n' roll.

InductionsU.S. postage stamp

The U.S. Postal Service issued a 29-cent commemorative postage stamp honoring Smith in 1994.

Digital remastering

Technical faults in the majority of her original gramophone recordings (especially variations in recording speed, which raised or lowered the apparent pitch of her voice) misrepresented the "light and shade" of her phrasing, interpretation and delivery. They altered the apparent key of her performances (sometimes raised or lowered by as much as a semitone). The "centre hole" in some of the master recordings had not been in the true middle of the master disc, so that there were wide variations in tone, pitch, key and phrasing, as commercially released records revolved around the spindle.

Given those historic limitations, the current digitally remastered versions of her work deliver significant improvements in the sound quality of Smith's performances. Some critics believe that the American Columbia Records compact disc releases are somewhat inferior to subsequent transfers made by the late John R. T. Davies for Frog Records.

In popular culture

The popular musical Bessie: The Life & Music of Bessie Smith, by the playwright Douglas M. Parker, follows Smith's rise, personal life and career, incorporating many of the songs that made her famous.

The 1948 short story "Blue Melody", by J. D. Salinger, and the 1959 play The Death of Bessie Smith, by Edward Albee, are based on Smith's life and death, but poetic license was taken by both authors; for instance, Albee's play distorts the circumstances of her medical treatment, or lack of it, before her death, attributing it to racist medical practitioners.

Bessie's Back in Town, a musical in production by Barry Edelson, presents as accurately as possible aspects of her life and death, while remaining true to her music.

The playwright Angelo Parra wrote the 2001 musical The Devil's Music: The Life and Blues of Bessie Smith, with Miche Braden in the title role.

In the video game series BioShock (1 and 2), Smith is portrayed as a cameo of a character by the name of Grace Holloway. Smith's music can be heard during the loading screen and in the level Paupers Drop, and in the various hallways and rooms of the sunken city. Her 1929 song "I'm Wild About That Thing" is (anachronistically) included in the sequel, BioShock: Infinite, set in 1912.

HBO released a movie about Smith, Bessie, starring Queen Latifah, on May 16, 2015.

"Bessie Smith", a song by the Band, is about her.

Wikipedia

#Bessie Smith #04-15 #09-26

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nofomoartworld · 7 years

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The Nasty Women Exhibition is Art's Answer to Trump's Nearing Presidency

Diane Bronstein, GRAB THIS!, 2014, 11.5”W x 6”H, Cat food labels, packing paper, cotton thread. Flower Mound, Texas

Nasty Women from every corner of the country and the world will flock to Queens this January for the inaugural NASTY WOMEN Exhibition. The event, coordinated by co-directors Roxanne Jackson and Jessamyn Fiore, along with web designer Barbara Smith and curatorial advisor Angel Bellaran, aims to be the thinking-woman’s answer to prevailing post-election anxiety. It is a crowd-sourced, group show of female and female-identifying artists of all ages, races, religions, nationalities, sexual orientations, gender identifications, and backgrounds. Running from January 12 to 15 at The Knockdown Center, the show will exhibit affordable works ranging from $10 to $100, and 100% of the sales benefit Planned Parenthood.

A grassroots, open call for artworks returned over 1000 submissions from no less than 694 artists, forcing the organizers to close submissions earlier than expected. The works culled from this call are exactly what the show’s moniker decrees, namely a cross-section of furiously creative women expressing themselves and their outrage through colorful performance art, body-positive watercolors, and—unsurprisingly—panties quilted from cat food labels.

The works will ultimately be displayed on the show’s centerpiece: 12-foot-tall letters armored in flamingo pink plastic mesh spelling out N-A-S-T-Y W-O-M-E-N — or as Jackson describes it, a “provocative installation plan” which mounts “a declaration of protest.”

Image courtesy of the Nasty Women Exhibition organizers

The immediate and enthusiastic feedback to this first NASTY WOMEN Exhibition has led to an outcropping of sister exhibitions in different cities across the globe. So far, this list of iterations ranges from Nashville, Lexington, Portland, and Omaha to Brussels and Melbourne, with more than a dozen locales in between. While these exhibitions will be linked ephemerally by social media and press, Jackson and Fiore are encouraging organizers to “bring their own spirit” to the shows, which includes supporting whatever women’s rights organization or nonprofit they see fit.

As the dates of both the inauguration and the inaugural NASTY WOMEN Exhibition rapidly approach, The Creators Project talks with co-directors Roxanne Jackson and Jessamyn Fiore about the show’s genesis and how to “DO SOMETHING” in the face of an impending Trump Presidency:

Laura Nova, TITLE: Six Circulation Fist:, a series of 36 postures, 2016, Digital Print, Artist proof

The Creators Project: How did this project come to be?

Jackson: Early one Monday morning, barely able to acknowledge the new day, I was drinking a cup of coffee, checking my email and Facebook while listening to NPR. I was so distraught about the impending doom of a Trump presidency and still in a state of shock… How did this happen?! How did we get here?! And where the HELL are we going?!

I had the spontaneous idea of getting women together to put on a NASTY WOMEN exhibition. Having marched to Trump Tower the weekend prior with [Jessamyn, Angel, and] thousands of other angry protesters, I felt emboldened and even empowered by the shared rage of my fellow strangers, united with the recent election and upheaval. On Facebook [on November 14,] I posted, “Hello female artists/curators! let’s organize a NASTY WOMEN group show!!! Who's interested??? We need a venue!!!!!” This post went viral, and within minutes, this nascent idea began to manifest into something more tangible.

What are your objectives for this show?

Jackson: In addition to the fundraising component of this project, I’m excited about this art exhibition as a form of protest. In an effort to be as inclusive as possible, we are accepting all submitted artwork for this show, regardless of content, as we are focusing on the solidarity of women coming together to object the Trump regime, rather than curating a more typical exhibition.

Fiore: But I have realized it is more than just its physical iteration: it is also about creating real-life connections. Like me, like many others, the women who are participating in this exhibition want to DO SOMETHING—and artists make their voice heard through their work. Art is an action.

Rebecca Murtaugh, TITLE: Aperture: June Berry and Gladiolus, paint and mixed media, 2016

What is the status of these objectives post-election?

Jackson: In general, I think dealing with abjection is one of the most powerful and effective roles of contemporary artists; and, with the current political climate this seems even more relevant. Transgressive work is a more accurate expression from a culture that has been engaged in war as long as we can remember, one that has a severely unequal stratification of wealth, a culture that disproportionately locks up poor minority groups for maximum sentences (while the same crimes from white offenders are penalized with rehab), religious groups that denounce science and inspire their congregation with fear and hate, not love and tolerance. In this polarizing climate, abject work is relevant. Its holds a space and gives us permission to be outraged, to feel deep emotion, and to express vulnerability. To cry out. And, ultimately to unite and stand against oppressors as humans have always done.

Fiore: It sometimes feel a bit like suspended animation, because we know some terrible things are coming, but the question is what to do to prepare? Protesting, organizing, all of this is important. I think right now for me it is about actively creating connections, creating solidarity in the real world (not just online), finding your allies, finding your collective strength and voice, so that when the blows do start coming we have a solid base from which to respond.

Gina Dawson, TITLE: A really good decision I made once - aka tribal angel tramp stamp, 2015, Watercolor on Panel

Explain to me the ‘business model’ of the exhibition.

Fiore: For The Knockdown Center NASTY WOMEN Exhibition we have asked all the artists submitting works to price them at $100 or less. We want low prices because I think it’s important that the works are very affordable so anyone can buy them. I want audience members who have never bought a work of art before to come to the exhibition and be moved by the experience and fall in love with a piece and think “$30, yeah I can afford that, and I’m helping Planned Parenthood!”

Jackson: I would like to add that this will be a “cash and carry” exhibition—meaning that people who purchase works will be able to walk away with them, as opposed to waiting until the end of the show. This approach will also provide a dramatic visual, as the letters initially teeming with works will dwindle down, a testament to the funds raised for Planned Parenthood.

What have you learned or what has surprised you in the time after launching the idea for the exhibition?

Fiore: I thought when we first started this that most of the submissions would be from the NYC area. I was so wrong. [...] I have been surprised by how wide this has reached, and deeply humbled really. Living in New York, we are often accused, perhaps justly, of living in a bubble. But the reaction this has received and the connection I feel with so many of artists who have submitted their work from places I have never been to, who have had life experiences so different from my own, and here they are eloquently expressing the same fear and anger and hope that I myself am experiencing...this is so powerful.

Jackson: I see this once nascent idea evolving into real potential for change at a grassroots level. This movement emerged from frustration and helplessness; this dark place of despair bringing into being something hopeful. A contemporary phoenix rising from the extreme, conservative ashes of this collective nightmare (and looking to kick some yokel ass).

Bahareh Khoshooee The Slow Betrayal of Our Bodies by Forces We Cannot Master, 2016, Still from Video. Bahareh is an Iranian Video artist & performer who is based in Tampa, Florida

Do you think that events such as these, and organizing in general, have gained significance since the election?

Fiore: Absolutely [...]. I don’t have the answers or the plan for what needs to happen going forward, but I do know I will not achieve or learn anything new in isolation. Art brings people together, it creates connection, it creates dialogue, it is ever-present and essential, it challenges, and from this challenge, we learn to think in new ways. And so its role is fundamental in creating the base we need to survive whatever comes next.

Jackson: [We] have transcended coming from a place of defeat to one of empowerment. This movement has given us purpose and direction and way to channel this angst into something productive.

Juliet Mevi, Sisters, 2016, 9x12”, linocut print on handpulledpaper, Oakland, CA

For more information on the inaugural Nasty Women Exhibition, running January 12 to 15 at Queens’ Knockdown Center, or to launch your own iteration of the event, click here.

'Nasty Woman' PJs Are the Perfect Art Basel Souvenir

CANADA Is Making Painting Great Again

Photographer Annie Leibovitz Captures Badass 'WOMEN' in a New Series

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