#and I still do that (mostly irl and at work again)

[jq37]

Are we sure Sandralynn wasn't cursed with like. Shit taste?

It's def a real mixed bag, though I think besides Bobby it's more just wild choices than straight up bad choices.

Bobby Dawn: Regular Freak. Liar, Frumpy, Wrong. Cheated on his wife and then ruined another woman's life over it. This is not a a ranking so I'm not giving him a score but I almost wish it was so I could give him a comically low number. Actually, there aren't any rules here. I still can. Negative infinity and kick rocks. If I was Sandra Lynn's friend I would be *begging* for her to love herself (or at least have a better sense of self preservation) and RUN GIRL.

Gilear Faeth: Gilear was a successful, hot elf before his loser energy kicked in because of his curse. Wasn't he like a diplomat or something? Like, Gilear now is a loveable loser but Gilear then was probably kind of a catch. And hell, Fabian's mom likes loser Gilear and she's a pretty hot commodity herself. As Sandra Lynn's friend I would be doing cartwheels if she moved on from Bobby to be with Gilear. 1000% improvement. And, for what it's worth, so is loser Gilear. Most guys would be frankly.

Gorthalax: Def seems a bit reactionary to go from a cleric of Sol to one of Sol's fallen angels turned devils. But Gorthalax is a nice guy from what we've seen and as a devil of gluttony he prob can conjure up some killer date night food. I think that if I could get over the shock of him being a MAJOR DEVIL, as Sandra Lynn's friend, I could warm to the idea. And he's not Bobby Dawn so instant improvement. However, as there was infidelity involved this would be another GIRL WHAT? reaction from me. But again, less about the guy himself, more about the decision to cheat.

Jawbone: OK so the thing about Jawbone is that I think he's great and a super good person and he's Brennan's semi-self insert so of course I love him. But he would also be an insane person to know IRL. Like, the stories he tells so casually. I think I'd be like, uh are you sure about this one? But he seems to have at least mostly chilled out now that he's working with kids and I think he's a really great guy. There's maybe a risk of contracting Lycanthropy but I'm sure they're using whatever protection you use for that. Solid guy as long as you're cool with his past.

Garthy: When Garthy was introduced, 80% of the fandom was instantly thirsting over them so objectively, "Garthy is hot" is a pretty mainstream opinion. And even if you (like myself) were in the 20% of people not thirsting over them, they're still very clearly a good person between raising Ayda and being super into self care (I loved the scene with them and Mercer's char in PoL). Also they're just really cool conceptually. So again, very normal person for Sandra Lynn to wanna hook up with. The problem, once again, is the infidelity. Especially because Jawbone was willing to have an open relationship! He closed the relationship for her! She took an L here for no reason!

So, to recap: shitty guy, good guy (who was cursed), devil (who is a good guy* and also an affair partner), good guy (with a wild past), and hot pirate (who is a good person* and also an affair partner).

*I don't remember if they knew Sandra Lynn was in a relationship when they were hooking up with her and am not factoring that into my judgement.

Besides Bobby Dawn, the rest of her choices were pretty OK (unless I'm forgetting stuff). Wild and with no obvious connecting thread--she absolutely has a rogue's gallery to rival Batman's--but it seems like the problems she had with relationships came down more to stuff other than, "She picked an objectively bad guy."

She really has the most inconsistent taste ever. I can't even begin to categorize what her type is. Gilear and Garthy should never been on any list together besides, "NPCs with G names."

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #a-salty-alto #asks

[deityofhearts]

this is so funny

#deity dialogue #uhhhh #my basic deal is that like #I think I’m getting better at it I don’t try and befriend people I don’t like unless I have to (irl for work) #but like idk I’m terrified of everyone including (especially) my own friends hating me #I already do feel unwanted in these relationships especially given how past friendships have gone #but like Im doin my best like I genuinely like all the people I talk to #if you’re someone i talk to regularly or whatever I do like you #doesn’t change that I’m afraid you don’t like me #idk #Sandy just said she’s proud of me I’m gonna cry #like idk I use to be like really cheerful and peppy and nice and maybe I still am #but I have a problem with being a people pleaser and wanting to be liked so bad that I do it at my own expense #and I still do that (mostly irl and at work again) #but it’s tiring and it’s killing me and it’s caused me to be in a lot of painful toxic relationships and to also be a toxic person #and so I’m trying not to do that anymore like #idk just look at the funny screenshot #discord

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also a special shoutout for real like wendy epic ableism moments when she stops talking directly to winston and expresses this is b/c he communicates too incorrectly (here too literally or whatever, once again whether he misinterpreted her or she misinterpreted him, it's put on him) and thus he doesn't deserve that

#winston billions #and i mean handshake with how winston's basically not considered allowed to talk at all by anyone out here #but like. alright we're not showing that winston is in the room mostly for a joke but even randos are like ''hmm. bit impolite'' lol #but once we do see him b/c he's speaking....like actually it Is heinously rude / diminishing / infantilizing to be spoken to indirectly #and The Behavior Is Inherently Ableist Here like ofc it's probably rude no matter what outside some kind of rly specific contexts lol but #that here she Is just implying he doesn't get to be spoken to b/c of some shortcoming / assumed lack of capacity #whatever she Does mean by ''see the matrix'' which is nothing but convenient vagueness abt Ability anyways #he's only here b/c she thinks he's annoying or w/e or otherwise extrinsically showing lack of value (can't be ableism there....) #and like winston and any other character is like. it's not textual sure but it doesn't need to be Textually Labeled #and sometimes can't be when ppl absolutely write based of ppl they know / encounter but don't know are autistic or etc #and that's how it works irl too. someone being Officially(tm) Autistic or smthing shouldn't be some necessary disclosure #b/c it's about The Underlying Principles At Play vs making some approved ''exceptions.'' if he's supposedly allistic it's still sm shit. #like how trans ppl & transphobia could exist prior to those terms even existing to be used. ppl are affected by them w/o being Out.... #& btw like ppl still saying some shit like ''some autistic ppl will just be Bad At / Have No Social Skills & you have to be chill abt it'' #like what does [social skills] mean here. what's the underlying element of socializing that they may do differently but you say is a Worse #or Absent version of the ''normal'' way of going about things. even if you actually get specific enough abt what a ''skill'' is; which is #gonna be a non universal non rule probably inaccurate idea of a Normal(tm) pattern of behavior/approach; sure maybe some ppl will struggle #to do that or largely/entirely not be able to do it / be unwilling to do it; gasp; what's its goal/effect & do they pursue/achieve that #another way. e.g how much AAC could be considered inherently ''bad'' re socializing or a lack of w/e ''skills'' or etc. #then like ok so once again a begrudging exception for autistic ppl is made. what's ''being okay with'' that even look like then? is anyone #gonna be using their ''good social skills'' to more successfully interact w/them? is Not socially excluding / ostracizing / punishing an #autistic person an Exception / something Extra you heroically do? e.g. & so what if some theoretical person isn't socially engaging w/other #ppl in any way. what do & don't they ''deserve'' differently from others b/c of that. #& anyways meanwhile they're certainly talking abt winston's Capabilities. but mostly talking around it b/c the point is He Gets Results & #will keep getting those results b/c why wouldn't he. but they can just cite anything to argue why oh but he doesn't Really have the value #cue vague shit like matrix refs b/c if he was Reeally talented we'd think he acts right. b/c Any bs can be said b/c winston doesn't have #the insulation or backup or ability to independently wield/gain social status his way through this shit. is only allowed to talk to #coworkers abt it by making it abt taylor actually (which is also true). still only makes it b/c rian is correctly remaining in the #acceptable range of being offbeat. so she already has more power than him & can choose to keep him around as that fun punching bag ig yay #then nobody cares. also he can't say he controls an instrument but Others refer to ''genius'' but negatively. wendy rhoades Would do ABA fr

[arthur-r]

i went to sleep an hour ago but i can’t actually fall asleep for some terrible mixture of anxiety and caffeine and being scheduled wrong from all of the winter break sleeping incorrectly compared to school. anyway i have a stomachache (anxiety variety) scary high heart rate (anxiety variety? caffeine variety? just my heart being stupid as usual? probably all of the above) and also terrified of living with my dad for the next week. and i was drinking a caffeinated beverage past 5 pm today because. i was really stupid and let that happen without thinking about it. so there are so many things getting in between me and a good nights sleep to get to school in the morning. doesn’t help that i’m stressed about school itself too or that my irl friends are constantly hanging out like literally all of them i try not to be offended if like tara and elanor hang out together without me cause everybody is allowed to have smaller on their own engagements but it’s like literally every friend i have!! like i have maybe fifteen friends total in my school and there was like ten of them were all ice skating together on new years and went to a play together and did all of these things that i wish i were invited for. and so i’m stressed about a lot of things at once and it’s no good

#anyway in other news i’m making a bigger endeavor drawing than i’ve done in a long time and it’s not very well shaped but im really proud of #the details and like the way that im doing it even if it doesn’t look good altogether im proud of the textures and everything #i haven’t done anything that wasn’t just a sketch in a long time so i never just work on textures and im proud of myself so far #however it was supposed to be a four part thing that im supposed to finish in four days. while also doing homework. so #i don’t think it’s going to be possible to do all that with such a detail oriented approach shdhdf #i’ll try my best though!! and if i’m late i’m late. nobody really expects anything out of me in an art front which is pretty nice i guess #but it’s mostly because i’m not very good and don’t practice enough. shdhdhdf #but like i said i am actually proud of this picture!! i’m just scared that it’s secretly terrible. classic way to feel really #but anyway i hyperfocused on that for two hours which is like. haven’t done that since like before school started #and so now i’m in a really weird headspace. and yeah. waking up in seven hours #this is so stupid i really wish i could just be asleep right now regular but it’s not happening #and i have a terrible stomachache that i don’t think is going to go away until it’s my mom’s turn to raise us again #and like. i don’t even like getting parented by my mom!! she’s made me cry multiple times per day all week actually!! #but at least i don’t think she’s going to get drunk and throw things or hurt my little sister or break something important to me #and that’s kind of what i’m constantly living in fear of currently. my dad is physically scarier and more dangerous. so i’m anxious. a lot #anyway i keep having nightmares and i hate it i wish anything would just go right for once. i should probably try to sleep again it’s just #it’s not working and i just wish i could fix it but i can’t. i really would like a hug and to be somewhere else #anyway i’m going to try again i guess probably. but i’m just so frustrated and i wish anything could be different offline #like i’m so lucky to have the friends i do in wext and my mutuals here but. if i can’t see you in real life my life is still kind of #objectively bad. like i cant really figure anything out that i have going for me irl. band?? i don’t even know. so yeah. it’s just not great #and i would like to feel better but i don’t. sorry for venting. goodnight!! #me. my post. mine. #vent cw #abuse cw #alcohol cw #ask to tag!! #delete later

[homoeroticvillain]

i should probably get a job, im like getting to the age where that is a thing i should do

#like for experienc mostly #pretty sure like all my cousins are working now #to be fair theyre all older then me but still #and the one irl sorta friend i got back into contact with recently is working at a bakery #so i should probably try and get a job #you know these old ladies who run this like boat cafe thing tried to hire me when i was like 12/13 maybe theyre still looking for someone #cause i would love to work there it was such a vibe #im sure my mum knows like some old lady who needs someone to work at their like thift store or yarn shop or smth #cause that sounds a lot better then whatevet soul crushing tech internship my dad would be able to offer #like ill wait until after my birthday but thats in like 2 weeks? i guess? so yknow not too long #also itd be good to get outta the house and talk to people more #also hi can people congratulate me on the fact ive been bettering myself and improving my lifestyle the past like year ish #sorry im just proud of myself and ive been a lot happier #i know no one else realizing cause i never told people i was struggling before but still #did you catch the part where im sorta in contact with an old irl friend again im so hyped about that #sorry ive just been like... doing better? and i just sorta wish people besides myself would comment on it #klepto talks to himself

[polaraffect]

venting in the tags yippeee

#damien.txt #gender talk time 🤪✌️ #.................................................................................... #screaming crying throwing up rolling around on the ground <- said completely deadpan #uhm. as always. thinking abt gender. and questioning. my whole life. bc. i cant stop doing that #soooooo like. my big thing. abt gender. is as much as im like. he/they-ing it here and irl. its kind of... complicated? #as ive gone on ive realized more and more that i dont. really. feeling Anything towards those pronouns #neither do i she/her. or they/them. #and just generally the whole Concepts of male/female? so like. im always like hmm. whats happening here #and other completely incoherent statements djbdhdbf sorrry anyways #i keep having these moments where im like. hmm. maybe. im leaning too hard into the masc. maybe i am not. he at all. #but ive like. really full committed to the bit yknow? like esp irl. all the ppl ive introduced myself to in the last 2 years have known me #as 'he'. and as someone who wears mostly masc clothing and generally attempts to present masc #and like. i bought a skirt a while ago and i was trying it on today and i was like oh. wait. #and before u @ me i KNOW!! clothing does not equal gender!! but there was just something abt it #and recently (the past like. year lmao) ive really been contemplating like. what i actually want out of transitioning or whatever #bc like. increasingly its become more obvious how... fucking difficult that is. #and the more i think abt it the more im like. bro its not even worth it for me? tbh? also like. sometimes i look in the mirror and am like #hmm. this does not feel better than it did when i hadnt transitioned at all. yknow? #like the last 10+ years ive been existing in this state w my body where im basically just. tolerating it. ignoring it. even. #and that hasn't... changed. after t. and ik thats not like the fix-all but its got me wondering if some of it/a lot of it #is just body dysmorphia? rather than dysphoria? bc like. god knows i have that too. #and just. idk. i feel Really Really anti-gender most of the time. would in fact. not like to be conceived of at all. #but on some level im trying to think abt it practically bc if that ^ is my thoughts on gender fr. i have to decide whats worth it #and like. i miss cool clothes. god men's clothing is so fucking boring. holy fuck. #and AGAIN i KNOW gender doesnt equal clothes but also like. i am Aware to the wider world it still works like that #and truly if i rocked up to work/class in a skirt everyone would be like What The Fuck #and i kind of want to!! but im also scared of that reaction lol #AHHHH why must gender be so complicated. i want to lay on the floor #lol there was literally more but i ran out of tags LMAOO sorry everyone. gender complicated. peace ✌️

[colognedecigarette]

about two years ago my friend group would hold a weekly conference call where we'd play games then end the night with a watch party .... kinda miss it ngl.

#i've been cut off yet again from my irl friends #i mean mostly it's because since the quarantine period's been lifted everyone got back to their daily work and such #am still a bit paranoid about doing irl group hangouts and our schedules are so all over the place #that it's hard to agree on a time for online group hangout #but those were definitely the best period i've ever had since the pandemic started Q_Q

[the-floral-perspective]

Creepypasta kink headcannons!

In honor of (late) Valentine’s Day 😏 yk the drill, mentions of sexual topics! Do not read if uncomfortable!! MDNI 18+

Jeff the killer

-major sadomasochist, LOVES pain and loves causing pain too.

-hard dom energy fr

-definitely has a knife kink omg, but like almost to an extreme level, it’s a little concerning. He also loves fucking to horror gore movies and tbh has some more taboo kinks I won’t go into much detail abt.

-his biggest fantasy is fucking someone from behind and seeing all the pain he’s inflicted on them (scratch marks, slap marks maybe some blood ykyk)

Jane the killer

-tbh major role player, soft dom energy too.

-orgasm controller, loves overstim or teasing. Just LOVES giving someone immense pleasure that they just stop working completely.

-has a specific roleplay idea that she LOVES, oddly religious, like she’s a cult leader ‘sacrificing’ a new recruit, but sexual.

-like she likes pretending to be a leader of sorts and tying up whoever she’s with and either 1. Eating them out 2. Fucking them or 3. Putting a vibrator to them, until they physically can’t anymore.

Ben drowned

-switch energy, can be totally submissive and 100% dominant whenever.

-morning sex is top TEIR.

-loves filming ykyk and keeping pictures. Totally a masochist too.

-DESPERATE SEX, never ending sex or something like that ong. Maybe a slight breeding kink and bondage.

-I think his libido is pretty high tbh, so his biggest fantasy is probably like sneaking into his spouses shower after sex and fucking them again. Like he’s into desperate, passionate sex where neither can get enough of each other. Like he wants to be pussy-whipped by the end of the day lol and his spouse would be dick-drunk too.

Clockwork

-pleasure dom. She LOVES giving head, like genuinely one of her fave things.

-or like obsessive and possessive sex yk. She likes showing her territory or something like that. Like proving her worth whenever she gets jealous???

-Ik I headcannon her as ace, but ace people can still feel sexual desire! It’s a spectrum! This is when she does get yk.

Ticci Toby

-switch easily

-he likes his senses being taken away, but like ALL his senses except for touch. Bro is a huge masochist fr. Like if you put noise cancelling headphones and cover his eyes he’s hard as an mf.

-adrenaline junkie at heart, is a little bit of a voyeur, but more risky than the other pastas. Like public bathrooms, alleyways, or like under the blankets when hanging with other pastas.

-tbh lil pervy

Judge Angels

-dom ass worshipper lol

-idk the name but likes getting a show, like stripteases??? Tbh thinks they’re silly but like, likes the idea that someone is actively TRYING their hardest to arouse her. So basically humiliation.

-would totally be down to peg tbh, like she likes being a hard dom and like making someone who is normally so authoritative or monotone and making them pathetic and subby.

-loves corruption.

Puppeteer

-sadist dom frfr

-if you’d be aight with it he’d totally slap you, ONLY DURING THE DEED THO. He does hit irl or without permission, he just likes the look of marks or like mascara tears.

-loves tying people up a lot too with his yellow strings.

-also has a slight breeding kink lol I wonder where that came from

Nurse Ann

-soft dom fr

-I know I said she’s soft, but like she totally is into blood play. But she’s like gentle and praising yk, like she’d totally cut you but she’d lick up the blood and give you praises :)

-small… tiny little mommy kink going on yk. Don’t know where it comes from, but it’s definitely a thing that gets her going lolz.

-is a sexual yapper istg, like she talks a LOT. I feel like yes, she does moan, but she also just TALKS.

Bloody Painter

-switch mostly dom tho

-I think he’s into food play tbh, like whipped cream and chocolate syrup. LOVESSS making messes. (Hates cleaning them tho, coward.) he just likes the sweetness yk and also has an oral fixation so yk.

-loves being cockwarmed omg. He loves just forcing you to feel him and not being able to do anything about it. Or even just staying in you after sex because your so warm and tight he doesn’t wanna leave.

-specific sounds??? Like odd ones tho, like gagging sounds or slurping sounds. Whether sexual or not he doesn’t know why he gets hella bricked

Rouge

-switch (leans submissive)

-has a kink for hands, like LOVES hands and forearms omg. Not the super veiny ones, but the skinny defined ones. Loves getting like (consensually) groped and manhandled.

-I AM NOT GOING TO LIE, I think she likes the idea of ghost-fucking. I mean, she is some sort of ghost now, but like, the idea that someone dead is watching her she doesn’t know about and is able to touch her??? Like it gets her turned ONNNN, idk maybe she thinks it’s her dead fiancé 😭

-does not make that much sounds during tbh, like let’s out light whimpers but nothing else. What she does do tho??? She moves. A lot. I don’t think she has a kink for being tied down as much as she’d like being held down 😏

Masky

-hard dom

-believes in power balances, and is totally into soft BDSM.

-he’s hella into spanking and is a slight sadist (he balances it out tho with like overstimulation) he’s not at all a masochist fr

-huge fan of dirty talk and pet names, like tbh kinda nicely dehumanizes??! Idk if that’s the word I should use. But he LOVES like dumbing down his girl and like idk like “just sit back, I’ll take care of you baby, just let me do that, alright?”

Laughing Jill

-switch

-tbh I really don’t think she’s that much into sex at all. Like sure she’ll give head and whatnot, but her libido is too low for me to have much headcannons.

-I feel like she’d be into pegging and probably more of a pleasure dom. When she’s subbing than she’s getting the attention yk, but she’s a classic gal yk, she likes the basics.

-sweet, simple and passionate sex yk, like with soft moans, and light scratches on the back yk.

Hoodie

-probably a dom

-I feel like he’s kind of repulsed by sex tbh tho, like his drive isn’t that big. When he’s turned on tho things r spicy 😏

-big thing for mirror sex, like he loves seeing peoples faces as he’s fucking them. It just gets him into a rut, also like, he kinda compares himself to how he looks in the mirror, so he’ll go faster and harder to “compete” almost.

-nylon fetish probably, but without the feet aspect. He just likes ripping them open and fucking someone deeply yk. He probably loves the whole idea of stockings and whatnot too, like THIGHS. Someone needs to thigh fuck him stg.

Laughing Jack

-switch (mostly sub tho tbh)

-electrostimulation tbh, he LOVES getting the shock of it. Literally. Like this ties in hella with his strong masochism. Idk whenever he gets shocked, he just always gets hard and needy. Desperate mfer.

-shibari bondage, but on HIM. Loves being tied up 100% just the feeling of the rope on his skin turns him on, like the slight burn he gets when it rubs certain places. It hurts like a bitch, but he only gets hornier.

-masochist (as listed above), he LOVES being slapped n whatnot. It’s a little hard to hurt him tho.

Jason the Toymaker

-soft??? Hard??? dom

-somnophilia (fucking someone who is asleep), he LOVES waking someone up to pleasure or just completely surprising someone awake like that. The sleepiness and all of it he just finds adorably arousing.

-dumbification?? He loves dumbing down his spouses during sex. It gives him a power balance thing idk. It also might just be like an innocence thing too.

-he also just generally loves having full and total dominance over his spouse sexually, like he WEARS the pants and princesses you, so don’t question him.

Zero

-hardest dom in town.

-loves hatefucking and just taking complete control over whoever she’s with. Even if she’s with a dom, somehow she will break them down to a sub.

-loves aphrodisiacs and other stuff like that. Also does not like giving pleasure, she only takes it. Whenever she does give pleasure it’s only to turn herself on more than what she is so she can get full use of you and your body.

-very selfish lover tbh

Homicidal Liu

-switch (leans sub)

-boob fucker, loves the honka honka.

-aggressive toy user, like he brings out toys that look like actual SAW contraptions fr. Even has a rose toy and one of those moving fleshlights. Does not use his toys that often, but uses the others on you a LOT. Has nipple clamps for you.

-also really into spanking and gagging (getting gagged 😏) he likes the ripple ykyk. LOVES cumming on you and in you too, fr this man is a cum machine…. He wouldn’t mind getting overstimulated.

Nina the Killer

-bratty sub

-along with Kate, loves exposing herself and having her body be on show. Would probably be interested in getting watched by another person while getting screwed.

-loves being praised and called princess, but sometimes when she’s sad she wants something hella physical to make herself feel worse.

-gets more wet when getting dirty talked to more than being touched lol

Candypop

-prob a switch

-TO BE HONEST,,, COSTUMES LIKE SEXY HALLOWEEN COSTUMES. Those are his kink + if there’s STOCKINGS. He basically cums in his pants fr.

-tbh think he’s kind of vanilla, but like, in a free use type of way. Like he’s into like taking you whenever he feels like it (if he has your consent) and also being used whenever you feel like it.

-but like aside from the costumes and free use thing, I think he’s simple like that yk. Idk I don’t think he has that much pizzazz in his sex life, bro just LOVES quickies.

Kate The Chaser

-mostly dom

-has a specific fantasy for car sex and doing it in inconvenient places. Not a voyeur, but if you guys were in an abandoned house she’d totally do you against multiple surfaces. Or like a tree deep in the woods.

-LOVES mutual masturbation, or like stalking someone while they’re masturbating. Also loves having someone fucking her thigh.

-gets off on exposing herself (only whenever asked to by other people.)

Eyeless Jack

-Soft dom 100% fr

-YOU KNOWWW he has a breeding kink, like that’s just who he is. He can’t help but to cum in you when you look so pretty :(

-totally a somno too, but he’d never act it out unless y’all have talked about it.

-also likes predator/prey play, this one connects with bondage. As he is literally a demon, he LOVES fucking someone significantly weaker or something of the lines.

Dr Smiley

-experimentalist at heart, switch probably.

-likes temperature play, like with ice and candle wax yk. He loves to test out his babes reaction to the sudden changes. He likes feeling them too, especially the ice going down his happy trail.

-medical play 😔 he likes to act as a doctor who takes advantage of his patients in his lab, but he’d never actually do that. It’s just roleplay.

-also huge munch btw, loves having his face be sat on.

#creepypasta #creepypasta smut #eyeless jack #ben drowned #dr smiley #homicidal liu #jeff the killer #puppeteer #ticci toby #ben drowned smut #creepypasta fandom #nina the killer smut #nina the killer #nurse ann #rouge creepypasta #nurse ann smut #creepypasta hcs #jason the toymaker smut

[gloomwitchwrites]

By the Belt (3 of 4)

Mechanic John "Soap" MacTavish x Female Reader

Content & Warnings: married couple, oral sex (female receiving), unprotected piv (wrap it up irl), creampie

Word Count: 1.2k

A/N: Part of the Imagines & What If Series

Soap needs a distraction, and you’re going to give it to him.

ao3 // taglist // main masterlist // by the belt masterlist

It’s Sunday. John’s shop is closed on Sunday.

Even so, he’s always working on something, his hands unable to lean into idleness for a moment. They desire something to hold, to tinker and learn and explore.

It’s the late afternoon, and you stand in John’s personal garage located at the back of your shared property. His actual shop is nearby, just a mile or so down the road. This is sacred space. The place he goes to work on all sorts of personal projects. You are off to the right of him beside his knees. John is on his back, partially submerged beneath a lifted car.

That always makes you nervous, even though you know he’s careful about his safety. You always imagine the machine keeping the car aloft breaking, sending the vehicle down to crush him. The car itself is vintage, a special project that John has been working on for months. The paint is stripped and its mostly bare bones.

Beneath the car, you hear John sigh heavily. He rolls out from under the car, the wheels on the rolling bed squeaking as he does so. When he notices you standing there, he immediately grins.

“Hello, wife,” he croons, sitting up and draping his forearms over his bent knees.

“Hello, husband,” you reply, matching his tone. His smile widens and a warmth blooms in your cheeks. “Thought you could use a break.”

Grinning, he pushes up to standing, crossing his arms over his chest. “What kind of break?”

With boldness in your blood, you reach out and slide your fingers in the belt loops of his dirty jeans. John stumbles forward, nearly knocking into you. That grin briefly transforms into surprise before settling into a sultry smirk.

“Oh, aye. I could use a break.” He leans in, your mouths meeting in a lovingly gentle kiss that warms you right down to your toes. When he breaks apart, that lovely grin is back. “But I’d hate to dirty your pretty skin with my hands.”

You tug on his belt again, smiling. “What if I want to get dirty?”

John laughs, his stained, oiled fingers hovering just shy of your skin. “You sure, love? Because I can do that.” Your answer is a brief yank on his belt. John shakes his head. “I warned you.”

You unthread your fingers and John makes a turn-around gesture. You comply, eagerness in your bones.

“Bend yourself over that table.” John points directly in front of you. It’s a workbench. There are a few tools but they’re off to the side, leaving the middle completely open.

Stepping up to it, you place your hands flat on the surface, bending forward, the angle forcing you up on your toes. John leaves you there. Lingering. Hanging. You have no idea if he’s watching you and enjoying the sight, or if he’s simply turned around and walked right out of the garage.

But you have your answer when John’s voice floats toward you.

“Lift up your dress,” he instructs, some rasp in his tone. He does not touch you, but you feel his presence. He’s close. You swear that you can feel his heat of the backs of your thighs as you reach back with both hands and lift your sundress up to your hips.

You are exposed to him. Utterly bare.

“Fuck. You dirty girl,” croons John, and you know exactly what he sees—or rather, what he doesn’t. “All bare under there. You knew what you were doing. Didn’t you?”

You did. You absolutely did.

Still, John does not touch. You hear the soft crinkle of his jeans as he goes down on his knees behind you, his warm breath brushing lightly against your pussy as he exhales.

“Spread for me a bit.” You shift your legs apart slightly. “Good,” he praises. “Like that.”

The moment you’re in position, John’s tongue parts your pussy with a slow stroke. He begins at your clit, moves upward, dipping the tip of his tongue into your sex before retreating. His hands rest on the table on either side of you, unmoving. Staying true to his word, John isn’t dirtying your pretty skin, but doesn’t mean he might not lose some control and touch you anyway.

Really, that’s what you want after all.

Using just his tongue, John traces circles, swirls up and down your sex, moves in languid motions that have you guessing. Every nerve is burning up like a sparkler. Your husband is teasing you, and fucking enjoying that he’s doing so.

He leaves nothing untouched, nothing untasted. Whimpering, John lightly kisses your clit, teasing it with the tip of his tongue. It’s not nearly enough.

“Stay still,” he chuckles, when your hips buck with wanton irritation. “Let me finish my meal.”

John’s mouth promptly returns, and you know you’re done. Utterly done. Brain dead. Air rapidly leaving a balloon. He sucks on your clit, then penetrates you with his tongue, only to do it all again. With each, he sucks just a bit harder, bordering on painful pleasure.

The next one has you nearly coming off the table.

“I’m gonna fuck you after this, love,” groans John. “Bloody hell, you’re sweet.”

He dives in and your nails dig into the tabletop, your voice cracking as you orgasm. You feel his smile against your flesh before his mouth disappears from it, only to be replaced by the familiar sound of unzipping jeans.

The head of his cock presses at your entrance but doesn’t penetrate. John lightly guides the head back and forth through your slickness, the sound of it echoing loudly in the garage.”

“Will you be a good girl and take it?”

You nod enthusiastically, strands of your hair shifting to stick against the back of your neck. “Yes,” you breathe. “Please.”

With a low moan, John starts to press in, your body not resisting, only wanting him inside. You both groan loudly as he bottoms out. Adjusting, John places his hands firmly above your head, anchoring himself.

He breathes deep, and reaches for your wrists, one at a time, trapping them against the table. John rolls his hips, thrusts lightly against you. It’s the perfect angle. You feel everything.

John increases the pace. Those light, almost shallow thrusts become languid and long, hitting deep when your bodies come together. From there, his thrusts turn sharp, a smacking pace that stings your flesh. You hardly care. John’s cock inside you is heaven, the thing just to ease the lust in your bones.

Every stroke is lovely, sending shivers of pleasure through your limbs. Your little moans become breathy exhales, your words leaving your lips silently, delivered only to the quietness of the air.

John’s head dips, his lips brushes over your exposed shoulder as he continues to thrust. “Gonna come inside you, love.”

It is not a question, and you will always say yes even if he asks.

His last few thrusts shake the table, the legs scaping against the concrete just before John holds his hips flush to yours. The groan as he finishes comes from deep within his throat. It’s a primal sound.

Glancing up, you watch as his grip on your wrists shift. He’s left some of that grease behind from working on the car on your skin. He said he wouldn’t mar it, but he couldn’t resist, and that feels like a victory.

John presses a kiss to your shoulder, and you tilt your head in his direction, seeking his gaze, even as he keeps himself inside you.

“Good break?” you murmur.

John chuckles. “Oh, aye.” He shrugs, nods toward your wrists. “But we need to get clean.”

taglist:

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[bitchesuntitled]

When It Rains

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

Warnings/Tags: 18+ MDNI, go on get! PWP, mostly porn but some plot, unprotected PIV(Don't do this IRL, be safe, make smart choices), kissing, fingering(f receiving), cream pie, flirting.

I'm trying to practice smut more, be kind. This is for @undercoverpena's April Showers prompt!

Thank you so much to @notjustjavierpena for helping me with the moodboard and the grammar stuff, @strang3lov3 for editing and leaving encouraging comments, and @beefrobeefcal for also betaing! Don't know what I would do without you lovely people! ❤️

@jay-zzle is my Spanish expert and dear friend who has helped me with a lot of my translations. Plus she's also one of the main reasons I'm trying to learn Spanish 🥰

divider by @saradika-graphics

Masterlist

You’ve been assigned the stakeout with Javier Peña at a nightclub, where it’s been rumored that some of Escobar’s sicarios frequent regularly. It’s not a problem per se, but it could just be a tad distracting considering the circumstances. No one, not even Murphy, has seemed to catch wind of what has been going on between the two of you; the late-night meet-ups, the storage closet, the file room, hell - there was even one time late at night in the office the three of you share. You’re professional though, work always comes before play. That’s been the rule since the beginning. 

“Looks like it’s gonna rain,” Javi comments, pushing his head to the car’s window, and looking up, “We could definitely use it.”

You hum in agreement, watching the nightclub like a hawk. As you listen to the pulsing music radiating from the club, watching people file in and out of the building, none seem to be any of Escobar’s crew just yet. The night seems to be growing darker as the clouds glide across the sky, covering the bright moon's light. Soon enough, small drops of rain begin to fall, turning into fat drops within minutes, downpour to follow.

“Fuck,” you hiss, gripping the steering wheel and peering out the dash window, “Of course.”

“Nothing wrong with some rain,” Javi smirks, looking at you.

“Except for the fact we can’t see shit!”

“Maybe we could do something else with our time?” Javi suggests, laying his arm against the back of the bench seat and scooting his hips forward to get more comfortable. His hand creeps onto your shoulder, rubbing small circles against the bare skin there, skimming past the hem of your tank top.

“Javi,” you scold, shrugging your shoulders to get your point across,  “No, we’re working.”

“Can’t see shit in this rain,” Javi grumbles, crossing his arms across his chest, “Least we could have some fun.”

“Maybe it’ll die down,” you suggest, looking at him. He matches your stare with those pleading eyes of his. Those dark eyes, the way they make you want to melt every single time they land on you.

It’s been 20 minutes and the downpour hasn’t relented. After seeing how you wouldn’t be doing something else with your time like he suggested, Javi’s beginning to become restless.  

“When it rains it pours, hermosa,” Javi says, grinning at you. Your pulse jumps at that word. Hermosa. He knows exactly what he’s doing. That’s how it always starts.

“Javi,” you warn, reminding him again, “We are working. You know the rules, work then play.”

He moves closer to you, leaning over to whisper in your ear, “We’ve played at work before, cariño.” Goosebumps pebble across your skin. You hope he can’t see them with how dark it is. You crane your head away from him and grab the binoculars from the dash, choosing to ignore the burning desire between your thighs. You just need to focus on work. You feel Javi lean back in the seat, his eyes boring into the side of your head. You put the binoculars against your face, grunting in annoyance when you still can’t see anything.

“Bebé,” Javier says, grabbing the binoculars from your grip, “Let’s call it night, hmm?”

He throws them into the back seat with a smirk, leaning closer to you, grabbing the back of your neck, and gently urging you toward him. His index finger sweeps against your cheek, brushing a stray hair behind your ear. He smiles warmly at you before dipping his head to meet your lips. Your hands rest against his chest, fingers fiddling with the open V of his button-up. 

You moan against his mouth when he licks your bottom lip, allowing him access to slip his tongue inside. Your tongues caressing each other, your hands move to the nape of his neck. Your lips make their way to his jaw and down his neck, your teeth lightly scrape his pulse point.

“Mira que duro me pones(look how hard you make me),” Javi says, pulling you onto his lap, grinding against your center to let you feel his growing bulge. “Te deseo(want you),” he growls.

You let out a faint gasp. Javi has a firm grip on your thighs to keep you against him, one hand finding its way to your center, palm pressing firmly against your clit through the denim of your jeans. You moan against his throat at the sensation.

“Javi,” you whimper as he flicks the button of your jeans open and begins to tug on them impatiently. “Fuck, Javi. I gotta get my damn shoes off first.”

He grabs your jeans, helping you out of them after knocking your shoes off. Javi brings his hand back to your center, rubbing precise circles against your clothed clit, moving down to pull your panties aside. Javi hums, capturing your lips again, tongue tangling with yours, enjoying feeling the slick against your slit.

“So wet,” he says, teasing two thick digits against your entrance. You hum with a nod of your head, crying out when he pushes them into your wet heat.

“Javi,” you moan, putting your head into the crook of his neck, rolling your hips in time with his fingers. “Fuck.” Beginning to feel the coil in your belly tightening.

“¿Así, bebé?(just like that, baby?)” He asks, moving his thumb to massage small quick circles on your clit. You whimper his name when he curves his fingers just right, hitting that spot he knows you love. His mouth leaving open mouth kisses along your neck, reaching your pulse point he begins to suck lightly. You can feel the coil in your belly tightening more, your walls beginning to flutter against his fingers every time he hits that spot with the pads of his fingers.

“Eres mía(you’re mine),” Javi whispers against your neck.

“So close,” You whine, moving your hips faster, his fingers sinking in deeper with each roll of your hips. He moves his head from your neck to look at you, gripping the back of his neck, crashing your mouth into his. Javi moans, beginning to feel your walls clamp around his fingers. The coil in your belly snaps, shooting white-hot lightning through your entire body. Your hand pulls onto the hair at the nape of his neck, causing Javi to let out a guttural groan, pulling you back down from your high.

“Fuck me,” you sigh against his lips.

“That’s the plan, cariño(honey),” Javi smirks, kissing you again, scooting to lay his back against the seat.

Your hands slide down his chest, popping open the buttons of his shirt. You smirk, leaning into his collarbone and placing soft kisses before biting down gently.

“Fuck, bebé(baby),” Javi says sucking in a breath, moving his hands between your bodies to fumble with his belt, “Te necesito(need you)”

You lift up, swatting his hand away to work his belt and jeans open. He lifts his hips and helps you lower his jeans, his stiff member slapping against his stomach.

“Javier Peña,” you tsk, shaking your head at him, “Commando? Did you miss laundry day?”

“Knew about this assignment for weeks now. Asked to be paired up with you,” Javi smiles, wiggling his eyebrows. “Figured this would happen.”

“Oh, fuck off!” You laugh, playfully smacking his chest.

“Awe, come on now, chica sucía(dirty girl)” Javi says, placing your hands on his chest, “You know it’s—“

You grind against his cock, hands pressing firmly against his chest and he lets out a groan.

“That’s one way to get you to shut up,” you grin, slowly grinding your wetness along his shaft, the tip catching your bundle of nerves with every roll of your hips. Javi shifts up grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you to his lips in a hungry kiss. He moves his hand down to line his cock up to your entrance and you slowly sink down on it, taking it inch by inch. You're no stranger to Javi’s cock but each time feels like the first with how thick he is.

“Estás tan apretada, mi amor(you’re so tight, my love)” Javi growls, against your throat, “No pares(don’t stop)” holding onto your hips as you sink further down on him, ass cheeks finally resting on his thighs. You kiss him, both of you taking a minute to savor the feel of one another, Javi gently rubbing his fingers up and down your spine with one hand while the other holds your cheek.

“You’re so beautiful,” Javi murmurs, caressing his nose against your cheek before capturing your lips again, moaning into the kiss as you tentatively roll your hips. His hand settles on your lower back, letting you take control at a slow tempo, letting you enjoy the way his cock massages your inner walls. You moan feeling your nipples beginning to harden between your layers and his chest.

“Javi!” You gasp when he snaps his hips holding onto your lower back firmly.

“Need to see you,” Javi huffs, moving his hand from your face to your shoulder and pushing you to sit up, breath hitching as you swallow more of his length into your core. He rids you of your tank top and pushes the cups of your bra down. You begin to lightly bounce on his cock, moaning at the feel of his hands on you, fingers from one hand beginning to pinch your left nipple while his other hand slides down your ribs, gripping your waist. “Eres mía(you’re mine),” he growls. You can feel your climax nearing, your thighs beginning to shake, feeling the heat running through your body as you bounce.

“Want to take you out,” Javi grunts, your walls begin to tighten at his words, “Make sure that ev-fuck-everyone knows you’re my girl,” he rambles, gripping your waist tighter, snapping his hips into you. “Eres mía(you’re mine).”

“Javi,” you cry out, wanting all of those things and more, your walls fluttering around his shaft, “Fuck, Javi- yes, yes, yes, yes!” Your walls clamp down on him, milking his cock while your vision blurs.

“Fuck,” Javi whines, hips stuttering, emptying himself inside you. He sits up, wrapping his arms around your back to pull you closer to him. Your arms wrapped around his neck, kissing him softly, leaning your forehead against his, trying to catch your breath. Javi looks into your eyes and grins as his softening cock slips out of you.

“I’m serious, corazón,” Javi says, “Want it all.”

“Me too,” You nod, a grin stretching from ear to ear on your face.

“Peña?” You hear the radio chirp against the dash, Murphy beginning to call for you as well. “Anyone there?”

You giggle as Javi leans over, keeping a grip on you in his lap to reach the receiver. “Peña here.”

“The hell are you guys?” Murphy asks, “It’s been raining like cats and dogs for a fuckin’ hour, and no word from either of you!”

“Heading back now,” you say, shaking your head and laughing.

#UndercoverAprilShowersChallenge #pedro pascal characters #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña x reader #javier peña narcos #javier pena smut #javier peña x you

[cupcraft]

Ranboo rebrand stream important stuff in one single post!:

if anything i missed pls rb and add on!

chat etiquette! They are going to be more strict with this (but not for new chatters honest mistakes).

Ban 101 -> the number 1 rule:

racism, antisemitism, homophobia, transphobia, discrimination. Instant ban, no excuse. Even bigoted jokes! 0 tolerance! you will be banned from even viewing the streams. This even counts on doing it on other streamer's chats/platforms if found out!

More rules: be funny (please!) and chill and kind and use emotes (including BTTV), dont spam chat (will be fixed/enforced bc of past issues),

other tidbits/news:

the vtuber/stuff will evolve over time, there are different vtuber outfits/costumes planned (ex they have an mcc outfit already!), the room in the background will change, they will be reaching out to ppl for collabs (feel free to recommend people but do not spam their chats!), planning to do more irl streams (will be weird/experimental and they will go wild! They will be making weird stuff!), they also have plans that they are excited to tell and its been a long time coming (this may be the cake video but i couldnt tell in stream), ranboo bakes a cake 2 will be coming TOMORROW on youtube (23 mins and incredible! they laughed at themself), ranboo plans to do experimental stuff on youtube (they have gotten into film lately!), founder's cut of gen 1 of genloss will be coming out 2-3 months ?? date/end of year, the vtuber ranjacket will be a part of the merch drop prototype at vidcon (physical jacket!), will be doing competitive/events with people (like organized little thing) (content/what it is undetermined) and he wants it to be obscure and random, ranboowaslive will start to ramp up a bit (more clips/compilations to come esp if you dont enjoy long vod watching), ranboo will be eating a nintendo DS cartridge live on stream (a joke!), MORE SURPRISES KEPT AS A SECRET + tiny plans in the works, they are moving into the new place/still have boxes to unpack (vtuber lore), he may finish the last of us part 2, subathon (really like back to back fun streams/long streams/playthrough of long games like omori) in january probably, splatoon may return,

What does the new era mean/qna stuff?

talking about old content is fine as long as you recognize that it is the PAST and not the kind of content ranboo makes now. Do not "put them back in the box".

Vtuber: will not be used all the time. They will do facecam streams too. Depends on how he feels.

why the r800: the 8 looks like a b LMAO

this is just the start of rebrand. He will re-establish a lot, things will be easier to find/reorganized, slowly over the weeks things will be changing.

what will happen tothe alt twitter (ranaltboo)?: new pfp, same energy (see below my shitty sc). art creds to mochi!

not only just a rebrand for him and the look of the content. But also it is a rebrand of how they act around and view their own content. they may not be as in the community as he has been (liking fanart/in chat/etc.) out of recommendation from people! If ranboo needs to be aware of something THEY HAVE PEOPLE to make him aware of important issues/emergencies and they will be focusing more on themself and the content overall. they are thankful to be allowed to do this, as they dont want to keep seeing things they dont want to see/have that anxiety. Less scrolling = more content!

They will probably have longer streams again!

will move to more mature jokes/phrases and may have content labels on the streams. Overall, streams will be pg-13 mostly.

TITS stands for twitch integrated throwing system [insert ranboo's giggle here]

All proceeds donated to ranboo's channel only go to charity! Not to them at all! They have a list of charities that he supports and will be changed 1-3 months at a time like usual!

Please make stuff. This is how he gets ppl who edit and the emote makers/artists. Not forced. Just encouraging ppl who make stuff to make stuff and he appreciates it and loves it! Even if it is not about him just make it! AND SUPPORT ARTISTS BOOBERS!

#ranboo.liveblog #ranboo #ranboolive #main tagging bc this is important i think! #pleek rb if you want!

[gz-missfit]

I wanna talk about Tubbo and Phil

I know there's some strong opinions from many on either character so I wanna share some thoughts on their relationship from someone who's watched both for a LONG time (way way before qsmp).

Tubbos and Phil's relationship kinda is, the closest I can get to explaining is is Bads and Foolishs, by that i mean is that at first glance you would not necessarily think these 2 had the dynamic they actually DO have. It's easy to get swept up in their banter and chaotic messing with eachother or in the way they mostly communicate through jokes and teasing but those 2 TRUST eachother a LOT.

I'm gonna try to not bring the kids into this cause obviously they don't have the knowledge we as the audience do in this sense, but Phil is not someone who trusts easy, the closets one he has to fully being honest with is Fit and even he doesn't know everything. But Phil trusts capabilities, that's why he trusts Fit so much cause he knows the other veteran is incredibly capable. To bring this back to Tubbo, Phil knows that Tubbo is INCREDIBLY capable and smart, he knows the kid is talented, hard working and determined beyond believe. But those who know Phil also know he's just not good at showing this, but believe me when I say he thinks incredibly highly of Tubbos capabilities.

Tubbo is someone Phil trusts relentlessly, even if he sometimes gets things wrong about him as a character it is never with any malicious intent and he sees that kid as family, meaning he'll do everything to help him if called.

Now to Tubbo, tubbo is interesting because his trust is rare, at least his FULL trust is. Obviously he has people he relies on more than others but true transparent trust is something he really only has with the eggs. He does have people he trusts, he just doesn't want/like to rely on others and it's kinda weaving into his need to be the one that people rely on. Now for me I definitely think Tubbo thinks of Phil as a friend, no doubt about it. And I feel like he's also very aware of how Phil works, a lot more so than others (definitely due to their long term irl friendship too). Tubbo knows where Phil's strengths lie and when he can just ask him for tips or advice, Tubbo knows Phil is reliable when called for, Tubbo knows Phil does not talk about his relationships or emotions a lot. Tubbo has been on the receiving end of a few things no other had to see from Phil yet, Tubbo was one of the only ones who during Purgatory got shown how Phil lost all hope in himself and for his kids (seeing in him being genuinely shocked Tubbo was still fighting for them too), But he also got to see how even with that doubt Phil would never leave someone behind he sees as his flock. Phil sacrificed his wings for Tubbo and both know he'd do it again a thousand times over.

Another moment I like to take as example is very early day of Tubbo joining, it's funny cause u can definitely see a like mentor/apprentice vibe which quickly fizzles out once Tubbo finds his footing in what he is good at. A moment that has always stuck out to me though is the kids disappearance day and those leading up to it. Tubbo was responsible for Chayanne and Tallulah during that time (quick side note, Phil's instant trust with those 2 for Tubbo is HUGE especially the fact that Phil knew Tubbo would take his explanations of how to be there for Tallulah seriously) and once the realization hit Tubbo kinda went into this dooming mindset, he saw himself as a failure and was worried about losing the fact that Phil relied on him, basically afraid of losing his usefulness, he spiraled and was terrified of Phil's response but when it actually came to that day? Phil was nothing but instantly understanding, reassured Tubbo, never lost trust in him with the kids down the line and showed Tubbo where his anger truly falls. It was such a simple moment but Neither have lost any trust in the other when it comes to absolute necessity.

And I think that's where a lot of their headbutting or appeared distrust comes from cause those 2 don't want nor like to rely on others. They're used to being the ones that are relied on! But when it comes down to it, when it comes to push and shove they know the other is someone they could rely on in a heartbeat (when I say necessity I mean necessity btw, like full on life or death)

Because when the people who do not ask for help need to ask for help you know shits bad, and it's a little easier when the person you know is so similar yet so different from you that you're aware this will never be talked about again, it's easier to ignore the heaviness if you've gotten used to hide it with banter and jokes. But a flock will never leave eachother down, even if they don't say it.

(Also Tubbo logging out infront of Phil today and Phil wanting to prank him with a spawn trap only to go "I was gonna put Lava here, but he can't die so no I'm not gonna be a dick" is something like, once Phil is aware of something he instantly adjusts to it, he asked for Tubbos equipment before bringing him a boss mob to fight, gave him food during it etc. Cause again once both are aware of something they do instantly jump in or adjust to it)

#qsmp #qsmp tubbo #qsmp philza #qsmp analysis #look i love them both so much #both stubbornly self sacrificial people pfffff #they both have so much wrong with them #and often need things spelled out for them #but once theyre aware they do everything they can to help #hardcore duo

[odusseus-xvi]

hi!! this is kinda a weird question but ur post about characterization for french ccs is rlly helpful for writing, so i was wondering if u had any like . tips or advice about speaking patterns or like. common terms or phrases they use and stuff like that. i have a lot of issues with auditory processing and other hearing stuff that makes it like . hard for me to always understand speech patterns or just like . what people are actually saying so if u have any like . advice or info about like How They Talk that u could put in text or like specific that would be cool. no worries if u dont/cant btw i completely get it i just remembered that u were the one w the previous helpful post ::D

Yeah, no problem I could try ! :D Now keep in mind again I'm not necessarily an expert, and I'm just doing this because it's fun. I still might make some mistakes, and miss some important details, but 'Ill do my best. SO

Let's go for HOW DO THE FRENCH (and swiss) CCS TALK :

Let's start with

ETOILES : So I feel like it might be the easiest because he's the clearest to me. He tends to speak at a normal space and in english with a noticeable slighly french accent, but not an extreme one. He likes to crack jokes constantly when he speaks with other people (most of the time hyping up others, and self deprecating, you know the "You are a legend, I am dumb".) . He can drop pearls of wisdom randomly through ridiculous metaphors ("You don't need to worry, My name means stars, that means that when you look I'm here." "It's like crossing the road, you have to, and there is cars, you need to be careful, but it can't be all you focus on. Wait I'm not sure about that one...") and sometimes actually genuine and inspiring, but more often that not in the tone of discussion, it doesn't sound like he's dispensing "wisdom of the elders", he's just a humble guy talking with you and giving a random advice. He often says in french "Wow a flop" when something doesn't work. Or "c.s.c." (Contre Con Camp, a football term meaning scoring against your own team) when he comments on someone being a tryhard for example ("WOW such a tryhard (csc)"). He'll often makes the joke that nobody likes him when they don't answer in chat to himself, (or chat) and will directly tell them "You want me to die irl don't you?" ensues a myriad of "holy shit you want me to die for real" answered by the "NOO" of the other one. Two last details that came to me, he rarely actually answers by "no" or "yes", he often use "Yeh yeh yeh", or "no no no". He also uses a lot of "euuuuh..." when looking for his words when speaking.

AYPIERRE : He is fairly simple too. He has a very relaxed tone, speaks slightly slower than most people, and has slightly noticeable french accent but less so than others. His tone differenciate between three states : Focused (while building or infiltrating a base), relaxed, and humourous. Note that he's never fully serious, he has that constant gremlin energy and smile that makes him want to make jokes that will make everybody cringe (his favorite pastime.) The only time he's been serious and slightly upset was when he earned gegg died or when he learned that the federation was trying to replicate his wine (there you can see his priorities). Most of the time people are assuming the worst when it's his countless time he starts a conversation with "So, I did something..." and is the type of guy to say "*known illegal act* is a strong word, let's say it's more like *not necessarily better*". I don't follow him as much, so I currently have no other mannerism in mind.

BAGHERA : I feel like she is a bit harder to pin down. When speaking in english she has a very noticeable accent, especially when she is tired. And talks a bit fast, especially in french. Though she doesn't crack jokes constantly, she has a constant chaotic energy that makes her say random things at times. She often say "Oh Yeaaaah" when she is happy or hyped about something, mostly when she is with other people to show them she is happy too. When she is ashamed or not understanding something she likes to take a voice we call the "Antoine Croute" voice (a character she played in a Rp series on GTA V), it's high pitched and really shy. (imagine a little "wut... ?"). She can be really serious, especially when investigating. She almost nver express vocally, in tone at least, her anger. Instead she sounds incredibly cold, like she was with ElQuackity. Her voice when serious drops a bit, and she speaks a bit faster. There is probably plenty more but I'm starting to get tired.

ANTOINE : He is the hardest to me because it is even hard to pin down in french. He has most of the time a very serious tone, while he ironically constantly making either dark jokes based on irony and cynism OR a pun. Because of this, it's sometimes hard to pin what's a joke and what's serious. His accent alternates between horrible french accent OR almost ProPeR eNgliSH. Even when discussing absolutely batshit insane things he sounds serious (he is not in reality, but it's a form of humor in itself). OCCASIONALLY he'll break and cracks a smile, and sometimes, even the heartiest laugh you've ever heard, a very vocal and deep "AHAHAHAHA" that you can hear a mile away (but it happens rarely.) Though I didn't specify, most people, including the french, stutter at least a little bit, and search their words, (like I said for Etoiles' "euh".) but Antoine tends to have a very clear speech, only occasionally looking for a translation. In the same vein, he also has a very quick reaction and can answer with a pun almost instantly (very impressive, especially when it's not his native language.)

That's pretty much all I can think of right now, and I'm tired. Maybe it's not exactly what you asked, but it's what I can muster. Hopes that helped :D

#qsmp #qsmp baghera jones #qsmp etoiles #qsmp aypierre #qsmp antoine daniel #qsmp antoine #qsmp baghera

[catboybiologist]

Interesting personal thoughts about gender I've been having recently.

I've been feeling very nonbinary recently. But in a very particular way that's distinctly in between man and woman.

Okay. Several times, I've described my experiences as gender as "yes, I was a man, I was a femboy, I'm working towards becoming a woman, I don't feel like one yet, but it's still my goal and working towards it makes me happy." That doesn't track with a lot of people's gender experience, I know. But for me, there is a delineation between what I am and what I want. It's not defined by my physical body, it's defined by an imperceptible number of social, biological, and psychological factors that are constantly changing (including significant changes to the biological factors, since I'm on HRT).

My goal is still transitioning into a woman. I still want to be a woman. I still don't feel like I'm there yet, though. But for the first time.... I really, really don't feel like a man. Something in me "clicked" recently, and I do feel like I've fully left manhood behind. And so, my current identity feels like it's falling in between. I'm passing through a town- some people live there, and I'm just visiting, but it's where I am right now. I know that's coming a lot later than mostly people think it would, especially considering my presence online is essentially fully presenting as a woman.

I know this state is transient. I know it'll be gone. I know I will be a woman eventually. But this is honestly a huge sense of peace for me. Maybe it's "just a phase", but dynamic, changing phases can still be real. And that's what this feels like right now. I told my therapist some of my thoughts on not thinking of myself as a woman until I'm further into my transition, and she warned me that it could be easy to fall into the rut of *never* feeling like you're good enough for it. And this feeling is essentially a confirmation that that's not happening. I'm going somewhere steadily.

Again, pronouns are absolutely whatever. Tbh the language used to refer to me is a fun mix rn. People here tend to use she/her for me. My labmates/professors use he/him for me, my irl queer friends tend to use they/them, and I get my she/her fix here. I've found it to be a good mix. So thank you! But again of course, I'm so used to boymoding that I really don't mind anything.

#did this make any sense? #it makes perfect sense to me #idk #gender #transgender #nonbinary #trans woman #transfemme

[the-thursday]

Hello everyone, this post was long overdue, and finally, prompted by our beloved Howls also leaving, it's time for me to rip off the bandaid as well.

I would also like to announce a sort of departure from Ranger's apprentice fandom.

I do not know how many from RA fandom era from few years back are still here but I assume mostly newer blogs keep up with this account.

Take a lil history walk with me, if you will. I joined this fandom around 2017-18. I was very active around here, posting all kinds of stuff, fics, takes, incorrect quotes, art and whatnot. I made many friends with whom I had a great time and I am happy and honoured that I am friends with some of them till this day. Fandom became the second home to me as things hadn't been exactly easy irl and maybe I fixated on it too much, but gods know I loved this place so much. And I wish for everyone to experience this happiness and just as I made friends who became a significant part of my life, I wish that for you as well. Being surrounded by amazing and wonderful people and sharing similar interests is one of the most pure joyous feelings in this world.

As 2020-2021 rolled around, some of you know that things in my life picked up a harsh pace and I started to drift away. In 2021 I left the fandom because of that and unpleasant things with one of the people here. It was one of the most gut wrenching decisions I had made.

In 2022, I started gradually getting worse, but also had the courage to come back at the end of the year. I felt happy and welcomed and I am so grateful to everyone who made it happen, who supported me and gave me another breath. My mental health kept getting worse but I wasn't alone and that has been everything to me.

Now it's about a little more than a year since I've been back and again, I've met wonderful amazing people who I am happy and honoured to call friends. I don't regret coming back and I am happy I did, however I think it's time for me to go again. And below, I hope to explain why.

Like I said, I've been getting worse. Last autumn and this winter have been very difficult for me and I had to rethink some priorities, as life is going on the time left for me to invest in fandoms is getting thinner and thinner. Unfortunately, among them, isn't keeping up with this fandom. With my next words I hope not to insult anyone. The truth is, I don't find enjoyment in the fandom and content itself anymore, or more like, as much as I used to. I don't exactly vibe with posts for roughly the past half a year and I don't mean this in negative way, I just think it's for me to move on. All of the new people that I've seen have wonderful content and while I don't exactly vibe like I used to, I can see that you're having fun and that's important! People come and go and I do wish all the newcomers and seniors who are still here to have a great time, but I don't think I have energy, capacity and vibes to be part of it anymore. As you know, my blog has been very much inactive for a long time, aside from dumping my dumb sketches or reblogging something here and there. And rather than letting it rot, I'd like to cleanly move on. Anyhow, on self deprecating note, since really it's not like I've been someone prominent I don't think this is a loss to the fandom and this makes it easier for me.

So to summarise, my leaving is about personal things, my life moving and the fact I don't have the mental capacity or motivation to actively keep up.

So what does this mean? I won't be posting RA related stuff on this blog anymore. This blog will turn into a neutral main blog and I'll create one side blog for art that I hope to continue to make and maybe one blog dedicated to the work of Brandon Sanderson.

However, it doesn't mean that I am not up to goof around about RA anymore, however this will be done in DMs. If I sometimes get to draw and post RA related art, it shall be posted on my new art blog with RA tag. However, I don't think there's a high probability of public RA art from me anymore, because 1) need to move on and 2) I have a very strong and maybe confrontational opinion about art in this fandom that has given me a bad taste and discouraged me from enjoying making it and posting it. I won't go into details because I don't want to sour this post for myself and for y'all with it.

I want to thank this fandom for everything it has been for me and for everyone and I wish y'all some happy fandoming!

Yours only,

The Ranger Thursday 11

#rangers apprentice #final goodbye

[corazondebeskar-reads]

you know you never stood a chance - deleted scene #2

you know you never stood a chance series

deleted scene #2: comfort in this run down place

series masterlist

Joel Miller x f!reader

Words: 2.6k

Summary: The first time you and Joel have anal sex. That's it, that's the fic.

set between chapters 3 and 4, but I see it taking place after the flashback from chapter 5.

Warnings: established situationship, free use agreement, enthusiastic consent but could be perceived as dub-con due to the power imbalance, anal sex, oral sex (m & f receiving), very quick mention of rimming, fingering, anal creampie, spit, makeshift lube, we ignore the practicalities of anal prep here but you should not do that irl, qz!joel is a menace

also on ao3

dividers by @saradika-graphics

Joel’s been down there for a while. You’ve no idea how long “a while” is because his relentless tongue has wrung any sense from you. He’s taking his sweet time about it, too, relishing in all the pretty little sounds he can drag from you.

He had come home cranky—it was, of course, a day ending in “y.” But not riled up, just tired. Enough that instead of fucking your face, he was content to sprawl on the sofa and let you indulge in sucking and savoring, basking in the heady musk and sweat of his hard day’s work.

It was languid and gentle, the way you sucked the soul from his cock. So he figures he can return the favor while he waits to get hard enough again to fuck you proper. And if it’s mostly selfish? What’re you gonna do, complain about getting eaten out?

He’s been generous, letting you come a few times, but mostly he just teases. Feather-light darts of his tongue between your folds. The trace of the tip of it around your clit. Sucking and kissing and fucking making out with your pussy.

His finger brushes the pucker of your asshole, and you jerk. It draws a low chuckle from him.

“Where ya goin’, sweetheart? You liked this well enough last time,” he murmurs, stroking a hand down your spine to watch you shiver. His thumb is rubbing circles around the rim now.

“M’not—oh,” you moan as his spit lands on your hole, and he rubs it around.

“Any of those pricks at the whorehouse fuck you here?” he asks before resuming licking into your pussy while working his thumb into your ass.

“N-no,” it comes out in a whine.

He licks up to your clit and pulls away, smirking as your hips try to follow. Instead, he ducks down to flick the tip of his tongue against where his thumb is stretching you open.

“Ya gonna let me?” His voice is low and rumbly, lust stretching out the twang.

You catch your bottom lip between grinding teeth, and he sits back on his haunches.

“Hey,” he says sternly.

You look up to see furrowed brows, most of his face obscured by his own shadows.

“I’m askin’ because I want a real answer. Ain’t gonna take this if you’re not lookin’ to give it.”

“What if I don’t like it?”

“Oh, you’re gonna. But we’ll go real slow, alright? Getcha nice and ready for me.”

You chew on your lip until a dry, chapped flake breaks off, and you’re forced to either swallow it or spit it out. You try to wipe it surreptitiously onto the back of your hand but end up sputtering as it clings.

Probably not very sexy, you think, but he’s gone back to eating you out anyway, so you don’t have to hold onto the thought for long. It, and all others, leave you with the rush of your orgasm.

“Okay,” you say on the first shaky breath you catch after.

“Yeah? Gonna let me have this all to myself, sweetheart?”

You nod, fingers still twined in the sheets.

He slaps your thigh. “Use your words.”

“Yes, s’yours,” you mumble.

He lets out a low and slow “fuck.” You lift onto your elbows to see him, watching where his thumb wiggles around, gently starting to open up but still squeezing tight around him.

He pulls it free. “Stay there,” he says and smacks your cunt for emphasis before disappearing into the other room.

When he comes back, he has a little jar. A clear, viscous substance is smeared around the inside of the glass, and there’s a small layer on the bottom.

“S’all I got left that ain’t for emergencies, so if ya do like this, we’ll have to wait until I can trade for more.”

“What is it?”

“Aloe. Straight from the plant. Got a connection with a solid medicinal garden.”

“No, what happened to not telling me anything? I don’t need to know that!”

He snorts and shakes his head. “Yeah, FEDRA will be really chompin’ for that tidbit. ‘He knows a guy who grows plants.’”

“Great, now I know it’s a guy.”

“Yeah. Wanna know his name?” It’s deadpan, and his eyes are rolling. “On your back or hands and knees?”

“Um,” a wave of self-consciousness heats your cheeks and squeezes your thighs together.

You can tell how bad he wants this because he’s handling you like a Fabergé egg. Or the apocalypse equivalent, which you figure might be a lightbulb.

Anyway. He sets a broad palm on your thigh, thumb rubbing back and forth.

“Just to prep ya. Got another idea for actually fuckin’. Want to just stay where you are?”

You nod, and he nods back before settling back onto his knees.

“Jus’ relax, sweetheart. I gotcha.”

It isn’t long before his slicked-up index finger rubs some of the aloe onto your asshole. You jerk away with a little yelp, and he pulls his hand back.

“That hurt?”

“No, it’s fucking cold,” you whine.

“Sorry, princess,” he taunts, but when he comes back with more, it’s warmer.

You peek down, and he’s nestled the little jar between his thighs.

He catches you looking. “Maybe I should stuff it in your cunt, instead. It’s a fuckin’ oven.”

“Oh, god,” you groan, and flop back on his mattress. You don’t think he’d really do it, and you’re sure it’d be dangerous, but something about the thought has your ears and face burning.

He doesn’t miss it, but he doesn’t call you out for it, either. He does, however, file that information away for another time. And another item.

It’s distracted you enough that he’s worked one finger in to the knuckle. You choke on a breath when he starts to pump it in and out.

“Y’okay?”

“I, um—“ your voice breaks. “It’s definitely weird.”

“Bad weird?”

“Neutral? Is neutral weird a thing?”

“Sure,” he murmurs, drawing the finger out to ease a second one alongside it.

You clench down involuntarily.

“Shh, darlin', you're okay,” his free hand rubs up and down your thigh.

You feel a little like a finicky horse being placated. You don’t get to be affronted for long, though.

“Here, let me help,” he says, sliding the hand over to stroke soft, loose circles around your clit.

He works you up to an orgasm, and after you finish falling apart on his fingers, you fall pliant. You don’t even notice right away, head still pounding and vision gone a little black at the edges, but he uses your lax bliss to work three thick fingers in.

He’s lubed his hand up well enough that there’s a quiet squelch as he pumps in and out. Coming off your high, it’s starting to feel nice.

And that’s all before he leans back over and licks into your cunt.

He doesn’t add any more fingers, but he works you over with the three buried in your ass while he eats you out. Instead, as you’re about to come, he pulls his mouth away and doubles his efforts with his fingers, making you stumble through the orgasm from the anal stimulation alone.

It works. When he takes them away, you whine and reach for him.

“What, ya want my fingers when you could be havin’ my cock?” He’s unzipping and tugging his jeans off while he speaks. He knows the answer.

You whine again anyway. “No, please.”

“You’re gonna get it, don’t worry. Roll over on your side.”

You do, but you crane your neck to watch as he shucks off his tee. Two fingers curl into the pot of aloe, scraping until they’ve gathered a glob of the remainder.

He coats his cock in it, eyes trailing along your body as he tugs. He sees you eyeing the bead of pre cum and smirks.

“Go on, then.”

You reach over and scoop it up, wrapping your lips around your finger, eyes fluttering closed.

“Fuckin’ hell. Didn’t get enough earlier when you sucked me dry?”

“No.” But you’re not really complaining, not after he spent so long with his head buried between your thighs.

“Greedy,” he scolds, slapping your ass and climbing onto the mattress behind you.

He manhandles you into place as usual until he’s pressed against you with his cock nudging against your ass.

“Ready for me, sweetheart?” He murmurs low and close to your ear.

You shudder and nod, before remembering his scolding from earlier. “Yeah, I think so.”

He’s got his head propped up with one hand and elbow. The other is wrapped around his cock as he notches it at your slick, puffy entrance.

He moves so slow. The gentle press is more agonizing than the stretch, the anticipation unbearable.

There’s a sharpness that knocks a gasp from you when the flared base of the head pops in.

You’re already trembling from how taut your whole body is, stuck that way out of fear of hurting yourself.

He holds still, bringing his hand up to rub up and down your side. “You’re doing so good, sweetheart. Worst part’s over, okay?”

You let out a shaky breath that nearly drowns out the little “okay.”

He reaches up around to cup a breast, kissing and sucking at the line of your neck as he pushes in the rest of the way.

It’s overwhelming. Your clit throbs from the earlier overstimulation, his hand is rubbing and pinching at your nipples, and the wet, hot touch of his lips setting your nerves alight. It’s so hot. Has it been this hot in here the whole time?

“You gotta relax,” he says, low and quiet at the nape of your neck. “What’re you thinkin’?”

“You’re sweaty. I miss air conditioning,” you say before you realize he was asking how you felt about his dick in your ass.

He heaves a heavy sigh, his warm breath flowing over your skin. It doesn’t help the situation.

“It’s uh, it’s good,” you say, wiggling a little. “But like… so full.” You clench down around him experimentally, and he forgets to be exasperated with you, groaning where you choke the neck of his cock. Likewise, you forget all about his oven of a body as he twitches inside of you, your moan mixing with his, salaciously in sync.

“M’gonna give you the rest now, sweetheart,” he says. His folded arm drops to squeeze beneath you as he takes a handful of tit so he can slide his top arm down between you and adjust a little.

You push your hips back as he shifts the angle just so, and he slips in another inch. The breath that punches out of you is wanton and shattered, which he takes as an invitation to shove deeper inside.

You give a little broken sob, one hand flying up to cling onto the meat of his forearm, muscle, and vein bulging under your nails.

“That’s it, I got ya,” he coos, pulling out just a little before pushing even further. His arm holds you tight to his chest, keeping your back from arching too far from him. The fingers strumming your clit are maddening, and when he pushes you over the edge, you jerk back onto his cock.

You cry out, broken and pleading, when his hand flies away from your clit, only to break into a moan when his fingernails dig into your hip, holding you in place.

“Shit,” he hisses. “Gimmie a second. Fuck, you’ve got a tight little ass.”

You want to grind back; you want to pull his hand down to where you’re aching, but he distracts you by pinching at your nipples until you squirm. He swats at your breast as he scolds you to hold still.

“Then stop that,” you say.

“Yeah? You want me to stop?” he says, the fucking menace, while his finger draws light circles around your nipple.

Your frustration sounds a little like a dying cat, to which he snorts a laugh and gives you what you want, bringing both hands to roll your nipples and tug gently.

“Want you to cum just like this,” he murmurs. “Full of me but nothin’ for your poor, achin’ pussy.”

“Can’t,” you whine, squirming. “Fuck me.”

“Nope,” he pops the “p” too close to your ear, but his words chase away your irritation. “You’re not gettin’ any more of my cock until you cream on it, sweetheart.”

Your fingers clench at him wherever you can reach, writhing a little as he overstimulates your breasts. It hurts, but it hurts so good. He gets a little rougher to alleviate the pain, the rough, dry skin of his fingertips pinching and twisting until you do actually cum.

It’s like someone pulled the cord to jumpstart a lawnmower, the way the pleasure is abruptly yanked from your body. He starts fucking into you while you’re still blanking out. This is how cubism got invented, you think. If you cum too hard, that’s just what the world feels like.

You could paint a gallery full of the way he makes you come alive on a metaphysical level.

He’s still taking it easy on you, and while your pride would normally prickle, you’re weirdly warmed by the notion. He knows how easy it would be to hurt you, and he’s… not. Not at all. There was the bit of bite at first, but you’re pleasantly stretched and lubed, and the foreign sensation of his heavy, velvety cock dragging inside you is a soothing hum.

You can already feel another orgasm starting to boil over at the base of your spine, and he must feel it, too, because he chuckles. It’s dark and heady, your back arching a little at the sound.

“Keep giving ‘em to me,” he says.

He’s thankfully abandoned your swollen nipples, and he brings one hand to your neck, wrapping firmly around to squeeze at the sides.

Fuck, he knows your body so well now. The instant you feel the constriction, you fall apart, gasping and hips jerking. He’s rolled you somewhat onto your stomach, twisted at the waist, pounding you down into the bed.

“That’s it,” he gasps, biting wherever he can sink his teeth. He lets up on your neck but drives himself harder, faster. “Fucking take it, that’s it. Good girl,” he moans.

Each orgasm blends with the next. Every time you think you’re going to come down from it, going to be able to catch your breath, he takes another. His hands and mouth never leave you, greedily gathering your desperation.

“Gonna fill you up,” he warns. It’s not really much of a warning, since his hips stutter as soon as the words leave his lips.

It burns. Not because it hurts when he spills inside, but because it rends you into fragments. It’s so good, it’s otherworldly. He cums and cums, cock pulsing and driving you off the brink of another orgasm as he pins you to the bed.

He’s holding himself up by the fists, now, crowded over you with barely half an inch between your bodies. Your back burns where his chest hair had rubbed you raw, and you’re soaked in sweat. A bone-deep weariness settles over you like a blanket.

Oh, wait. No, that’s actually a blanket. But you are tired, and you follow the cue before it even registers that he tucked you in.

When you wake up in the morning, he’s already in the kitchen. But the signs are all there. Not only did he let you fall asleep in his bed, not only did you stay there all night, there’s a very clear Joel-shaped indent in the shitty old mattress. Your waist tingles with the phantom ache of his arm. You can’t prove it, you’ll never bring it up, never speak of it, but you know.

He held you.

*title from "Writing on the Walls" by Underoath

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #tlou fic #tlou smut #the last of us fic #the last of us smut #you know you never stood a chance series #fic: you know you never stood a chance