#americans wouldn’t get it

[burdenedrose]

Lucozade orange has zero business being so addictive. ITS JUST ORANGE JUICE.

#lucozade #americans wouldn’t get it #general post

[oopdeathnote]

Imagine if you locked Light and Patrick Bateman in a room together. They would be having the most generic conversation but you wouldn’t be able to hear it over the sound of their overlapping internal monologues. There would be a few seconds where their monologues both play in sync to say something misogynistic.

#death note #light yagami #american psycho #patrick bateman #you could put patrick bateman in deathnote and he wouldn’t even seem particularly out of place tbh #i don’t actually like american psycho that much i just keep getting funny #patrick bateman posts on my pinterest feed #original post

[jhonny]

i don’t care abt ships but i think shipping tf2 spy with any of the other mercs is objectively funny bc like. imagine being scout and already having to deal with the fact that this french asshole is maybe your actual absentee dad only to find out he also ditched your mom to bang one of your sweaty coworkers.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 spy #tf2 scout #sniperspy #<- the one i see most often that is pretty funny to me. #like i get it. those two have something going on. #but also spy is here dropping sex bombs on the piss man while scout is over here like. where’s my retroactive child support asshole. #oh tom jones. we’re really in it now. #rowan.txt #american spelling used for accessibility. you know i wouldn’t betray my aussie sensibilities without cause.

[tanglepelt]

Dp x dc 152

Vlad gives off creep vibes.

Danny is forced to a gala. A Wayne gala to be specific. Wouldn’t you know vlad won’t let him out of his sight. Cuts him off.

Keeps calling him his son. Overall creepy vibes.

Maybe the investigation wouldn’t have been so intense if he hadn’t be calling Danny his son. A little digging leads to Amity.

Leads to a rigged election.

Leads to the Giw being discovered.

Danny for his part is laughing at vlad. Man got caught the the justice league for his alter ego Plasmius. Then for helping fund the Giw. And for establishing in town restrictions about ecto entites.

Danny just wishes they would stop trying to question phantom.

#dpxdc #be a creep and get caught #listen #there is one rendition where Bruce flat out says he is Batman #as it was his duty as an American to not lie on the stands #he was in fact a bias party and should not be on jury duty #he out the bad guy away #he wouldn’t be happy with a rigged election #that was just a random find

[jerichogender]

thinking about the time they actually gave joey dialogue in the new teen titans: games…

“He could be role-playing with us. Art represents civilization. Maybe he’s showing us his end game?”

this says sooo much about him: his deductive reasoning skills, his appreciation for art, his understanding of other people’s psychology. i need more stories where joey gets to play detective, especially in an art or music history context, and i NEED him to have proper dialogue

#imagining an art heist job with his mom in the searchers inc. comic that exists in my head #let him be thoughtful & have a personality beyond just the sweet helpful guy who’s a good listener #we see some of this skill as a tactician in ntt #(that issue where titans tower gets attacked by the hybrid comes to mind #plus the super inventive ways he uses his powers in general) #but there’s a level of characterization you get from dialogue that he’s almost never given in ntt #there are some narration boxes that kind of give insight into his thoughts #and then there’s that issue in late late ntt that has excerpts from a book he’s writing about the titans #but in general other characters vaguely paraphrase things he signs or we just see their response & what he even said is only implied #really it wouldn’t be hard to give him dialogue like at all they did it here with text boxes that have quotation marks #you could also use angle brackets like they do in american comics when a character’s speaking in a language other than english #just have a little ‘*translated from american sign language’ as an editor’s note & people will know what’s going on #joey wilson #the new teen titans: games #undescribed

[atopvisenyashill]

“why would elaena marry a dornishman when they’re nasty evil people who murdered her poor innocent brother daeron”

maybe because once elaena grew up she realized that there were better ways of bringing dorne into the realm than violent conquest, and that daeron got the death he deserved from not just a nobility that is valid for fearing subjugation from valyria but also a smallfolk sick and tired of these people showing up every few decades to set their principality on fire, and put aside any anti dornish sentiments she may or may not have harbored as a child to see the way her family had directly attributed to their suffering, eventually even falling in love with and marrying a dornish man??

also, considering daeron ii attempts a type of proto-reparations act in bringing dorne into the kingdom, it’s not out of the realm of possibility that someone as intelligent as elaena would recognize the inherent racism in the targaryen conquest of dorne and especially considering the very loud anti-dornish, deeply anti intellectual faction in the blackfyre rebellions, realized they wouldn’t be kind or understanding of an intelligent woman like herself and had no interest in herself or her daughters (of which she had four!!) getting shoved back into the maidenvault again?

like, daeron i is on some andrew jackson manifest destiny shit, and if it makes me an asshole for thinking “god i wish someone had merked jackson before he genocided & displaced my ancestors, good on the dornish for realizing you can’t negotiate with imperialists” than i am perfectly comfortable being considered an asshole right next to my girl elaena.

#everyone discoursing about the young dragon. listen. they should have tortured him before they killed him too. #anti daeron i targaryen #valyrianscrolls #anti house targaryen #idk just in case. clearly i’m not anti everyone i’m complimenting elaena & daeron ii #elaena targaryen #daeron the good #daeron ii targaryen #getting on my soap box #dorne #also when i say ‘my ancestors’ i mean that jackson passed the indian removal act specifically to remove my tribe (and several others) bc #white people in the midwest didn’t like that we wouldn’t leave. #my tribe managed to work somethjng out and only had to move a couple miles away from our homelands. others in our area were forcibly mkced #*moved. look up the potawatomi trail of death. they marched them thru illinois’ capital. dozens including children died. #also read about the fort dearborn massacre. and rising up from indian country which makes the argument that it wasn’t a massacre #but a battle bc white americans had been raiding potawatomi villages for weeks. so the potawatomi struck back and people to this day insist #it was a massacre just bc the potawatomi were better at fighting than the americans. nah. #u don’t get to wage a war of conquest on an innocent and indigenous population just to turn around and say they were mean for fighting back. #i’m sorry i woke up today and decided to choose violence. i’m in an awful mood aksjdjd

[kaleigh-color]

Happy everyone’s an Irish man day!!!

Posting late because I started drinking after I got off work if you couldn’t tell lmao

#me #my face #selfie #happy st paddys day #I’m also going to a parade this weekend #because why wouldn’t I be celebrating this whole time #do gotta get more zepolis for st Joseph’s day tho #love being Italian American and have a little Irish in me #but my red hairs from Italy yall

[catgirladjacent]

gotta say the resident evil wiki is possibly the most useless thing and it’s so frustrating when it comes to the lesser easily accessed games (at least what’s easily accessed for me) i want to check ONE thing but it’s so chock full of just wrong info and there’s not a single reference/citation on half the stuff like. this may as well all be straight made up!

#you want to check one (1) timeline thing and may as well kill yoursef #also they REFUSE to say hunnigan is black. hey what’s up with that moderators?? #everyone ELSE’s ‘nationality/ethnicity’ section has like ‘caucasian/american’ but hunnigan only gets to be american?? #fuck off shes black say it with your chest you cowards #i also blame the wiki for the ‘leon is italian’ bullshit. now where exactly did you get that from #technically they cite a source (a reference book called CAPCOM design WORKS) but that subpage doesn’t cite a single thing #and i wouldn’t treat it as canon anyways #resident evil

[dilfsisko]

‘Oh it gets that hot in [insert American state here] what’s the big deal?’ Why don’t you try to have a single ounce of compassion for another person for once???

#els.txt #to be very clear: I’m fucking American #I actually live in the southern us. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone #yeah it gets that hot here and it sucks! everyone is always complaining!! #now imagine you live in a country with no fucking air conditioning #and try to shut your fucking mouth for once #just once #not a vague at the dash I promise! #uk heatwave for ts

[visenyaism]

who up trying to stimulate a mind that is slowly starting to decay

#starting the day in family jewels lockdown this will improve the situation #the original hollywood pre chorus is so good. they took it out prob bc americans wouldn’t get it

[vogelmeister]

just found out the planet of the bass people are american and i feel betrayed

#what really gets me is the slightly incorrect english #as in the awkward english was so convincing #i heard someone say they don’t sound like native speakers parodying broken english #but actually like they grew up with that english #also I wouldn’t say its broken english more like awkward english that sounds wrong to those who know english #english in which there is clear native language influence #also my friend and i were talking about dutch face #as in she was saying how she has a dutch looking face and i was saying one of my coworkers has a dutch face #(my friend is dutch and so is my coworker) #and not saying these ppl are dutch but a very similar concept applies #like they look like 2000s Central European not 2020s american #planet of the bass #dj crazy times

[urmuminnitt]

#personally i could write an extensive essay on why i hate it #the american btw said the over commercialisation was “american culture” and europeans wouldn’t get it. #f1 #miami gp 2023 #miami gp #formula 1

[leclercsbf]

.

#🚩 #as someone who watches documentaries about athletes… respectfully… why would you dub them #if i wanted to hear someone speak in a dead and downright ai-sounding american accent i wouldn’t be watching spanish athletes #like okay. okay. dubs are valid. not everyone likes subtitles. i get that #but jesus fucking CHRIST at least put some EFFORT into the dubbing #YOU SOUND LIKE AI MATE IT FUCKING BOTHERS ME #anyway i’m only mad because i swore off disney+ because it’s so fucking expensive #but the sports doc i want to watch is in disney+ #and the illegal streaming sites i’ve found only have it in dub #i’m not about to renew my disney+ subscription for a SINGLE documentary #this is a cry for help #if anyone with a disney+ subscription is cool with me using their account for approximately 8hrs feel free to slide into my dms #this is a joke by the way. please do not give your details to strangers on the internet

[femininomen0n]

no clue why but i feel like after the six break up graham dunne bc a fucking math teacher. like i know that its not canon in the book or show but its canon in my heart and i have no clue why

SO sorry it took me so long to respond to this (for some reason it didn’t show up in my notifications??) but YES YES YES anon this idea has my whole heart!! in my head graham’s always been a Humanities Guy™ (whereas karen being a maths girlie is canon To Me) but i can absolutely see him tripping and falling into a career as a high school fucking, like, geometry teacher. or maybe algebra or precalc or whatever, i’m not familiar with the ins and outs of high school mathematics teaching!

anyway, thank you for sharing that tidbit! i love it when people tell me about djats things that are canon To Them because then i get to add on with more djats things that are canon To Me. (here’s a rough translation if you, understandably, weren’t able to parse that mess of a sentence: “talking about djats with people gives me the warm fuzzies.”) the whole ‘talking about djats’ thing mostly happens on my twitter so it’s always a nice treat when it happens on tumblr! <3

#i know i said he’d teach high school math literally three sentences ago but he could teach middle school too or like. elementary school #science (ahhhh remember when science was fun and not panic-attack-inducing? those were the days) #either way he’d be everyone’s favorite teacher #partially because he’s simply an easygoing person by nature and #partially because between the djats residuals and the profits from his hot sauce(?) business he would never have to worry about money #(in other words: the shit pay that american teachers get wouldn’t affect his demeanor 💀) #graham dunne #djats #daisy jones and the six #inbox #anon <3 #talia speaks #**

[countess-of-edessa]

im aware that this is just like,,,the nature of food. but it’s kind of galling when something takes 5+ hours to make and the family member who had the least to do with its creation eats seventy five percent of it in fifteen minutes

#this is about my father eating like 35/50 of the pot stickers my sister spent all day cooking (there are four people in our family) #but it’s also about my father eating approximately the same proportion of the peirogis we make on Christmas Eve #(we being my mother sister and i while my father plays video games) #and also how my mother made him dinner and made me a separate thing i like very much the other night and he ate both #pretty much every day i eat five potato chips for breakfast and then like fifteen more for dinner lol #that’s fine no need to get fat over the summer #im buying a bathing suit from an asian company so i want it to fit my large American body lol #i wouldn’t want to have sons for many reasons but one being that men eat too much and it’s gross #And no men you don’t really need to eat that much sorry you’re not Michael Phelps and being male doesn’t mean you automatically need 4x #more calories than the average woman. It’s like maybe a little more than 2x + whatever’s needed when exercise is factored in #(Like 1200-1400 vs 2500-2800 i think) #If I had a husband and more than one male child I would need to make an honestly insane amount of food and then still not get to eat anythi #because it doesn’t matter how much you make. my mom makes a lot of food. If there’s still dinner and it’s something my father likes #he will just take all of it. I can’t imagine if there were other men in our family I think my sister and I would have starved to death lol

[parseisflat]

hmm i’m starting to regret my stick and poke? maybe?

#it’s like my chinese family name right. cultural ties blah blah reminders of what is important #i’m starting to think it’s a little dumb #like my friend who did it is chinese and doesn’t speak the language #and i am mixed blah blah not chinese enough and other cliches #so we’re both kind of fucked up abt it #and i think if we weren’t being impulsive and feeling disconnected from our culture maybe i wouldn’t have gotten it #i’m like anxious that my family will see idrk how i feel #getting it tattooed was like taking back some power but. idk #if i got my english last name tattooed it would look stupid. only americans would do this lol #and not to nitpick but we kind of did it in a rush and it looks good but like. u can kinda tell neither of us are fluent like it’s flawed #but if anything that’s just more fitting #i think i’m j anxious bc like my brother was ranting abt stupid tattoos and i want him to respect me #but hey this is what teenagers do i guess. it’s a small tattoo no big deal #i’m just. already the gay maybe not cis black sheep in my family and this is just one more thing #that will disappoint them as i become my own person idk.