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k-s-morgan · 10 months

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Hello! I made a Tumblr account just so that I can tell you how amazing your writing is and how awesome you are! I watched Hannibal just so I could read more of your stories - the way that you keep shifting the power dynamics and building up these obsessive relationships creates some of the most intense and best stories that I have ever read. Do you ever think of writing a story with original characters that you might try publishing? (I would definitely buy and read it!)

Also, thank you so much for the personal updates that you do about yourself and Ukraine. I am so sorry for everything you and your country has been experiencing with Russia. I think you are remarkable with your communications and how much good you are putting out in the world despite the horror you and your country are being put through. I wish you and your loved ones all the best. Thank you for everything you do!

Hello! Oh wow, I really appreciate it! It's so flattering that you decided to watch the entire show just to read my fics, and I'm happy that you enjoyed them! I love obsessive characters, and I love obsessive, dark relationships between them even more. If you're interested, I have a Hannigram AU one-shot here that I didn't post to AO3.

As for original novels, I actually have three published romance stories, but I wrote them when I was like 17, and two of them are M/F. I don’t talk about them often because my style has evolved over the years, and the ideas and execution in them are probably problematic - and not in a good way!

My first book was Until Hell Freezes Over. It’s a semi-dark Gothic M/F romance with a twist that takes it from a more ordinary genre to a somewhat supernatural one. Ironically, I got most attached to my gay dark secondary character who’s in unrequited love with the main character. I just couldn’t get into M/F to the extent I wanted. I love this story in a way, it's my baby, and it has an interesting way of character development, but I wrote it because I naively hoped to gain more attention in the M/F market, not because I was really inspired. And both protagonists are not the best people in shallow and grounded ways.

My second book was Layers of Freesia. It’s a short and far less serious M/F romance. Basically, they met, they fought, they made up, all in 100 or so pages. I love my female character there - some readers mentioned she’s autistic, and while I didn’t think of it when I was writing, I believe it fits. She holds a special place in my heart.

My third book was All Roads Lead to Hades. It’s a short M/M obsession-based novel. Some readers mentioned it’s rushed, and it might be so because I was excited to be finally writing in the genre I wanted and I had a specific deadline by which I needed it to be done) I’ve never re-read it and didn’t have the heart to edit it.

I have 200 pages of another dark M/M romance written, and I do intend to finish and publish it at some late date. Here’s the synopsis I wrote back in 2016.

There were times when the Lettvin-Nostrand Empire was one of strongest, full of pureblood nobility who possessed powerful magic and feared no one. But seduced by the promises of more freedom from a neighboring Empire, the society split up, unleashing war that had been ravaging their own territory until Emperor Glacirien had enough.

Ruthless and cruel, Glacirien is feared by his enemies and his own people alike because the abilities he possesses are like no others. He puts an end to the war and keeps ruling over his burned Empire, not letting it heal, condemning people to suffer and die from starvation and diseases for their betrayal. When he visits one of the dying villages, he meets a golden-haired young man who evokes feelings in him Glacirien never expected to experience.

Caelus is warm. Caelus embodies the light and the brightness remaining in this world, and Glacirien is growing obsessed with him.

Caught in a dangerous web of political intrigues, betrayals, love, and his own dark nature, he has to tread carefully in order to preserve the remains of his country… for however weak Caelus’ magic is, in the end, he might be the person destined to destroy Glacirien’s Empire for

I have a prologue for it posted here.

Last year, I published a small book with short war-related stories. It felt healing to write it.

Also, thank you so much for your kind words about my country, me, and my people! It really means a lot. I still cannot believe this is our life now... Even sleeping a night properly, with no attacks and alarms, is a blessing. It should never be this way for anyone, but unfortunately, I doubt the guilty Russians will ever learn.

#my fics #my books #hannigram #personal #ukraine #russia is a terrorist state

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crehador · 6 months

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quickfire thoughts on fall 2023 now that everything i'm watching has had at least three eps out

EXCELLENT

sousou no frieren: still very easily anime of the season, beautiful in visuals and in story. a quiet, subtle look at loss and grief, and life continuing beyond that. the structure is working perfectly imo, it never feels like there are too many or not enough flashbacks, i feel connected at all times to both the present day party and the himmel-era party

migi to dali: still doing an exceptional job of balancing creepy and funny, i said before that the only thing i can think of with a remotely similar vibe is the movie hot fuzz and while i think there's a different flavor of comedy here, i still stand by that (and that's a compliment bc hot fuzz is an excellent movie)

kamonohashi ron no kindan suiri: although i wouldn't say this is mind-blowingly outstanding in any single way, it's very well-done in just about every conceivable way and comes together as an extremely solid series

BORDERLINE EXCELLENT

overtake: after four episodes i'm so tempted to put it with the 'excellent' shows but have to admit it's just not objectively on that level, it is subjectively one of my current favorites of the season though. silly at times, fairly simple story, but really effectively done so far

ADORABLE

s rank musume: feel like this one is largely going to slip through the cracks because it looks like your typical fantasy-action/adventure series, but doesn't stand out in that genre. the cute/soothing family moments are what stand out to me, but understandably that's not what most viewers of the genre are looking for. remains to be seen if a more action-y plot will build up, have doubts about how effective that will be

yuzuki-san chi no yon kyoudai: VERY CUTE with some very real moments and struggles, the cr subs debacle in the first ep however did it no favors

atarashii joushi wa dotennen: VERY CUTE i almost wish they'd cast literally anyone except umechan for shirosaki bc with him the similarities to cool doji danshi are just too much lmao however umechan is in fact perfect for this character so why not let him play it twice i guess

hoshikuzu telepath: moe yuri that isn't afraid to say rocket science is for autistic lesbians, what could be better?

wataoshi: YURI OF THE SEASON SORRY HOSHIKUZU TELEPATH HERE'S SOMETHING THAT COULD BE BETTER i actually would put these two on a similar tier but wataoshi gets the edge for me because rae is so unapologetically, exuberantly gay and that is just so nice to see

SEQUELS

houkago shounen hanako-kun: tragically only four half-length episodes but it's nice to see these kids again, ogata megumi's hanako voice just hits in a way the jjk yuuta voice doesn't, for me, so very glad to hear it again

arknights s2: i'm liking the art even more than i did in s1? not sure if it's actually changed/improved, and imo s1 was already good, but anyway just really enjoying seeing all the faves moving and speaking!

spy x family s2: still cute of course what more can i say

b-project s3: MAN I'M TORN i don't dislike this season (we are getting so many kitakore shots) but i am so stressed out for tsubasa and i just want to see her catch a break! i'm sure the season will end in an uplifting way, but all the stress she's under right now makes me want to punch things

dead mount death play s2: it was good and is somehow still getting better, s2e3 which just came out is one of the best yet imo

GOOD FOR THE ACTION BUT NOT TERRIBLY MUCH ELSE

undead unluck: i kind of... don't like anyone here lmao but the over-the-top, high-octane action is not badly animated, it's just not gripping me on any level beyond that. it does however have the op of the season

ragna crimson: again it's failing to get me really invested in the story/characters but the action is not bad i guess, cast for this one is absurdly stacked so i'm not going anywhere

shangri-la frontier: this one's doing a GREAT job with its pacing and action imo, it's introducing the game mechanics in a way that doesn't feel too fast or too slow. only issue is there really... doesn't seem to be any stakes? like at all? which is not a problem for me personally, it just feels a bit like we're waiting for another shoe to drop

WATCHABLE BUT...

bullbuster: i'm kind of vibing with this after three episodes but i really can't imagine it finding an audience, it's not mech enough to really appeal to mech fans and it's not... typical office drama enough to appeal to typical office fans. it's a strange little combo that just happens to work for me, personally

NOT GOOD BUT I LOVE IT

kawagoe boys sing: this is a ridiculous series, i would say not as wild as number24 but kind of getting there. like number24 but more vanilla, less homoerotic. i loved number24 and I'M LOVING THIS TOO there are some genuinely interesting characters already and though i still currently want to punt kick that teacher into the sun i remain cautiously optimistic that he'll see some character development. at some point. maybe

NOT GOOD. JUST NOT GOOD. SORRY.

bokura no ameiro protocol: really feels like some late-2000s/early-2010s male wish fulfillment dramedy. lots of weird and unnecessary het nonsense going on. honestly would consider dropping if it were 24 episodes but since it's only 12 i guess i'll stick it out. for kimuryo. who is unfortunately playing such a rancid character

#crab watches #various things (too many things)#fall 2023 #rhyme anima remains unrateable i'm too biased to even try lmao #tl;dr it's a pretty good season honestly #there's only one complete whiff #everything else is good to great

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pyromantic-mishap · 5 months

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So I worked at a large UK supermarket (who shall remain nameless but my uniform was an awful burgundy colour) and I worked there over the Christmas period i.e. from October through to Dec 31st. This was fine (it was hell).

Now, I worked in the General Merchandise department, so I didn’t work on food at *all* for the few months I was there. However, I did have to walk through food aisles several times because my department was split across the store, and I encountered a (to my innocent and slightly ignorant mind) surprising and concerning number of people shoplifting.

Now, when I say concerning, I don’t mean it in the sense of a 70-something lady with white hair and a leather handbag clutching her pearls at the merest hint of a gay person being within three miles. I mean it in the sense of a person who has never really experienced poverty, watching it play out in front of him for the first time. Now, being the little autistic maggot that I am, I am all for following the letter of the law. I like rules. I am comfortable when people follow them.

I am not, however, heartless enough to report someone for stealing a 75p can of rice pudding.

Knives? Definitely kept an eye on them. Dangerous chemical stuff like antifreeze? I looked after that.

But food? Drink? Small toys? Cutlery? Wrapping paper or cards? Never saw anyone steal a single thing, honest. I’d come back a little later to find an empty box or some opened packets, and that lot was all marked and discarded. The store didn’t even miss them. Those people would have missed them a whole lot more.

So what’s the moral of the story here? Why am I saying things on the Internet again (which I really should not be allowed to do btw)?

The point is that inaction can also be action.

You don’t have to protest by fighting and dying. You can just choose not to go to McDonalds, and maybe stop and listen to the march going on in the city centre.

You don’t have to get in fights over problematic writers and actors. You can just not buy the books, or see the films, or pay for merch.

You don’t have to put yourself in danger protesting the government about the economy and their disgusting attitude to dealing with poverty. You can just let people steal shit at Christmas.

It doesn’t impact you, and it may not feel like it helps, but it does more than most and even though no-one will thank you for it, it also takes no effort to do and to show support for a good cause. You can still absolutely protest things you care about and can fight intensely for, but no-one can do that for everything, and everyone, all the time. But there are thousands of little ways and easy choices to make that still add weight to the movement for a better world.

Find the little ways. Make the easy choices, the small sacrifices, and make them with confidence. Have hope, be better than you were, and one day the world will reflect that.

#politics #christmas #goodwill amongs men #peace in our time #freedom #freedom for palestine #freedom for all #human rights #charity #open minded #see the change #be the change

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dekaydk · 6 months

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QL/BL Series I watched in 2023

This is a ridiculously long list because

I finally discovered the existence of this genre late in 2022, and after years in the desert with only occasional gay-themed media, am drinking deeply at the oasis, and

I have basically given up on other forms of TV this year (long story mostly having to do with the crap that's out there, the networks yanking content before it's finished just to avoid paying residuals…also, I will never watch another piece of Star Trek if JJ Abrams is within 1 parsec*).

I had a long period of convalescing from a broken collarbone.

*probably an obscure TOS reference but the initiates will get it

In Progress

IFYLIA

Kiseki: Dear to Me - I love all of the characters, main and support. Writing is fun, character motivations are clear, acting is good-to-excellent, directing is solid if unadventurous. And the colors! While it's not rigorously real-life, it hits harder than most because there are actual adult choices being made, and real consequences for those choices. The comedy is always in service of the plot or the characters. The cameos are off the charts. This is also an exception to my "generally don't watch BTS until the show's over" rule: the BTS have been fun. The actors are clearly having a blast.

Dangerous Romance - uneven, but not so much that I've given up. Had potential to be more of a commentary on economic strata: though there's room for more in the coming episodes, I think they missed the boat by bascially making Kang now the MC instead of Sailom, which is disappointing. Right now I can see this going into either "okay, but meh" or "don't recommend" categories, but I doubt it's gonna be a "recommend" because they haven't got the runway for a save.

Kabe-Koji-Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to be Recognized - unexpected depths to this show. The characters are revealed gradually, the comedy is a delight, the acting's great, the staging and cinematography are terrific. Quite enthused about this show.

I Can't Reach You - these two are a delight. BTW, @lurkingteapot says that they are working on their own captions, which should be infinitely better than anything else that's out there. Going to rewatch when they do post because I think it will be a far more engaging experience. (Also, if you like Japanese BLs, you should follow them for their linguistic and cultural insights.) (Note: I have no idea how to replace captions so I have to learning ahead. 😇)

One Room Angel - unconventional; not sure where this is going but I almost don't care. These two are just plain touching to watch. Only two episodes in and I'm hooked.

Finished and Enjoyed

If It's With You - so far, this is a palate cleanser I needed. Cute, sweet, low angst, and clearly made to be a dessert course, not a hearty main dish. Actors are doing a great job. (Side note: Makeup and wardrobe are doing a good job in making them look more conventional vs. how good looking they are IRL.)

Kieta Hatsukoi - this was just fantastic. Sweet, funny, and unexpectedly poignant. I see no reason to remake it, much as I appreciate Fourth and Gemini.

My Personal Weatherman - once I figured out that they'd only been living together for a short time after graduation, it fell into place. The crippling insecurity on the one hand and the cryptic overconfidence on the other made for a really engaging dynamic.

Sing My Crush - this was one of those almost perfect shows. Just watch it.

My Beautiful Man S2 - love me my babies learning to communicate, and Kiyoi taking Hira shopping and making Hira blossom for the day was delightful. This show is so unconventional and I cannot get enough. Nobody does "your low self-esteem is crippling you in ways you don't even begin to understand and people love you anyway" like Japan.

My Dating Sim - so sweet without being corn syrup. Palate cleanser.

Semantic Error - really, really enjoyed this smart autistic bossy nerd meets semi-slacker athlete artist. One of the rare shows where the actors are pretty obviously straight (BTS kinda made that clear and in the future, I am generally gonna skip BTS until the show's over) but I nonetheless bought their characters being into each other.

Laws of Attraction - I wasn't sure about this at first until I realized rather late that (a) lakorn is a thing, and (b) "lakorn = telenovela" and all the conventions that implies. After that, I sat back and enjoyed the camp and stopped being critical. Film and Jam are fun to watch, and you cannot tell me that Film didn't enjoy every second of scene chewing. The second couple were touching as all heck. And Nawin came in and briefly stole the show. And Silvy and Organ stole it back!

Unintentional Love Story - both couples were delightful; loved the pottery/creativity as a central element (and coveting it for my own). Looking forward to more of Ho Tae and Dong Hee in S2.

DNA Says Love You - Although I kinda had the plot twist figured out early—admit it, the casting for Amber was absolutely perfect—I still loved the journey. The "witch in the woods" bit was fun, even if I'm not a fan of predestination-style plots (I prefer characters arrive at their destination without supernatural assistance). I could watch Erek all day. Slightly slow to get out of the starting blocks but worth the time.

Color Rush - I'm not easily sold on fantasy premises but I enjoyed this one. Love interest played by Hur Hyun Jun was straight out of a manga panel (that jawline). Sadly, he withdrew from a reprise of the character in S2, I'm told because fans got weird. (Fans, learn to separate the artist from the art.)

Not Me - be gay, do crimes against the oligarchy. Gorgeous cast: Gun, Off, First, Gawin, Mond, Film; good cinematography; nice character arcs. Not perfect (Todd's character in general, and I never did get why Black got beat up in the first place; they kinda ended up at "it's just so"), but in general the show strove for a higher level. Fun fact: written by a (then-?) member of the Thai parliament.

Old Fashion Cupcake - devoted junior dogsbody doggedly digs dense dejected boss out of dumps. Okay, my alliterative talents are low today. Cute, and goes unexpectedly hard during the confession scene, and after. Thoroughly enjoyable and a bit of a rumination on how people can pigeonhole themselves to their own detriment.

To My Star and To My Star 2 - ah, these two. The sunshine man has to go hardcore to get his man to see his own value. I would rewatch this just for fun.

Takara-kun and Amagi-Kun - Oh, to be in high school with good friends who help you figure out your feelings. I will hear no criticism of this perfect little dessert.

Mr. Unlucky Has No Choice But to Kiss! - the unlucky/lucky balance gimmick could have been annoying but they made it work. Sweet, simple, seriously cute actors, very much in earnest comedy. Palate cleansing fun.

My Engineer - main couple: okay but I've already mostly forgotten them. RamKing were different. Ram's character was absolutely coded as autistic but no one ever used the word, no one called him weird, and King figured it out and went with it, no problems. Loved that part. (King had his plant obsession so maybe he got it on one level.) Also, the way RamKing ended left a huge opportunity for the fanfic on them, much of which has been great. Sadly, there won't be an S2.

The Eclipse - writing could have been sharper (pace and motivation needed work) but Khao and First were a ton of fun to watch. Loved the junior queens being the most fearless troublemakers.

Big Dragon - went into it knowing it would be a trash-the-pub watch 😎 yet it actually ended up a little more solidly than I had expected. Plenty of heat, and now I get why people are MosBank fans. Fun fact: Jeff Satur apparently wrote the theme that Isbanky sang.

Finished and Oh Well It Was A BL

Until We Meet Again - I know it worked for lots of folks and I get why, but (a) reincarnation stories and (b) I love me some Fluke but I hate the blushing maiden trope especially when as here they hammer it into the ground with a rocket-powered pile driver. ("P'Deeeeeaaan!") I actually preferred the past couple to the present-day couple because the characters were written better. (Not the actors' fault; the stakes were higher, and you can't act your way out of a sub-par script.)

Mr. Cinderella - Vietnam's probably not got a mature industry yet so I may have excessively high expectations, but…amateurish writing, directing, cinematography and sound. Characters were all over the map. And the bad guy ex was…uuuuugly toxic. (Also, polonium? Seriously?) Attractive cast to be sure, who didn't really have much to work with so for all the audience knows they are all Shakespeareans in training. The coy screeching nurse was so very repetitive. I did want to like it and if I had a script I would totally go to town on it as an exercise. (I'm an editor, not a writer.)

Why R U? Korea - Did they…lose a hard drive with the audio? Cheap out and not hire an audio engineer? Seemingly half the dialog was looped, and often jarringly. But the real fault was the writing: the behavior of the main couple was inconsistent, especially where they parted ways and then pretty much ignored that for a while, and in the last episode with the lead saying he didn't want to work together on the thing that was extremely important to both him and his interest. I wanted to like this because I really liked the main couple and Jeon Sa Ra's Do Yeon. Best scene was Lee Won after his audition teetering on the edge of losing it when his interest ignorantly came out to tease him: just a lovely little bit of acting by Lee Jung Min, without a word being spoken.

Seriously, this scene makes me want to learn how to gif. Lee Jung Min as Lee Won

Finished and Don't Recommend

TharnType: 7 Years of Love - the first season was objectively bad for reasons I and others have set out elsewhere (noncon sex, underage rrpe(!), sub-par acting/directing). The second season wasn't as bad, but it wasn't good either, with forced misunderstanding narratives being the most notable plot point. Seven years together and you still are that easy to convince that your man's stepping out on you? Like the first season, 7 Years also gave the sense that Mew (at least in this case) is a one-note actor, though this could have been the director's fault. Gulf had more good moments.

La Pluie - I so wanted to like a show that was gonna take a trope and upend it. And I absolutely get what lots of folks liked about it. For me the uneven pacing, sometimes blatantly contrived plot, often wooden direction, dialog and acting (with the notable exception of Suar, who was by far the best in the show and not just because he got most of the best lines) and terrible continuity did it in. (Lomfon's confession scene, though: Tien's going up on his toes for the kiss is burned into my memory.)

Started and bailed

Minato's Laundromat S2 - I so wanted to like this after S1. Instead of giving Minato a growth arc, the writers inserted a silly and ultimately pointless amnesia story. This seriously pissed me off to the point that I stopped watching. Not the actors' fault, but the writers, well, that's a paddlin' offense.

Only Friends - when certain folks start expressing concern, I listen. @bengiyo explained how this show failed its promise of showing actual queer lives. When it abandoned whatever vision its creators may have had in favor of contorting itself into something controlled by fan input, proving it was just an exercise in branding pair marketing, that confirmed it was not going to get me to return after Ep 3.

Naughty Babe - just, just, what in the Pennzoil is going on? MC, you seriously went how long without nookie and didn't talk with your man about it? And then you fake amnesia? Dude, you are not a serious person and the writers should be ashamed. I see from my Tumblr feed that they tried to redeem themselves later with the marriage and adoption bit, and good for that, but I ain't got time for incoherent messes.

Low Frequency - decorative actors, but incoherent plot where I simply couldn't see what was happening and where it was going. Couldn't motivate myself to continue after the second episode.

Step By Step - I've already posted about this. This had the potential to be wayyy above average but it kinda fell apart with the main couple, and the secondary couple simply were written so badly there was nothing to root for. I got almost all the way through this but after it became clear there wasn't going to be a late save, I gave up. The. Actors. Wuz. Robbed.

En of Love: Tossara - this felt like someone got their uncle to pull strings to get them a show. Dialog was anemic, character motivations were bland/absent, pacing was uneven. I started the second episode but I'm not sure I finished it.

If you made it this far, congratulations. Tell me what you liked or didn't agree with; I come across as opinionated but I'm always looking to learn. 😎

#bl drama #completely self indulgent post

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vaspider · 2 years

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I honestly have to wonder if the gay assimilationists understand what it's like on the other side. I was raised by Republican Baptists in Texas, homeschooled, heavily involved in youth group, and I was so devastatingly lonely because I could feel in my bones that I didn't fit in, that people liked me on a superficial level but kept me at arm's length because something was wrong with me, because I wasn't good enough, I wasn't like them.

It was only when I found words to describe myself in the queer (and autistic) community that I truly realized for the first time that nothing is wrong with me, that I can be accepted and loved the way I am and I don't have to force myself into a different shape to be good enough. I'd rather die than try to make myself "normal" again.

Like I'm just saying that as someone who grew up brainwashed in right wing ideology, I can't help but think the assimilationists must have no clue what a gift it is to be accepted in your abnormality. What it's like to have normalcy shoved down your throat for years, then finally spit it out and finally be fucking free.

Having broken free, I can't imagine ever trying to force someone else into that cage. I want to smash all the cages, not build new gay-shaped cages.

It's possible, but it's also possible that they come from a background like yours and they're naïve, hopeful, or afraid. Naïve enough to think their families will ever really accept them, hopeful enough to think they really can make a change (and good for them for the hopefulness, truly), or afraid and convinced that they can find safety in conformity.

And look - like - I need to be clear that when I say I'm anti-assimilationist, I don't mean that I think it's morally wrong for queer people to want to live in a nice little house with their spouse and send their kids to a good school and live a tidy, quiet, unbothered life. I think that's a fine and wonderful thing to want, and I think it has to be a fine and wonderful thing to want. I think it's possible to live that life and be in solidarity with other queers. I also think that being gay or trans doesn't mean you owe a movement anything. You don't have to live any particular kind of life, or do any particular thing, to be the right kind of queer.

Really, the only way in my mind to be the wrong kind of gay/queer/trans is to tell someone they're the wrong kind of gay/queer/trans, or to throw other queers under the bus for your own benefit.

So when I talk about assimilationism as a philosophy, and why I think it truly fucks us, I'm not talking about "living in the suburbs" or a certain amount of necessary visibility or radicalism. It's okay to live stealth or to want that quiet life. What's not okay is "you better behave or the cis won't respect us," which is, of course, bullshit, since what's not respectable about us is our queerness.

I watched Halston last night with Emet, and one of the things that really struck me was a scene of a fight between Halston and Elsa Peretti, one of his closest friends and models. They got into a fight at Studio 54, and Halston was being unbelievably cruel to her, and she to him. It was the sort of fight that you can only have with someone who knows you very well when you're both at your very worst.

What did she reach for when she was angry with him and hurt? What was the word she immediately reached for to summarize her disdain for him and his worthlessness, how much she despised him and felt him to be garbage? I'm sure you know.

That scene felt like... so... like I just want to shake people and show them it. Don't you understand? The problem with saying "but I'm one of the good faggots" is to them, you're still just a faggot, and they won't let you forget it when the chips are down. Who cares if you're a good faggot or a bad faggot? The reason you deserve civil rights and a life lived in peace is because you're human, not because you've managed to be a good enough and worthy enough person to earn off your faggotry. You can't escape them thinking that about you. You might as well own it and demand your rights anyway, because you're a person.

#uncensored slurs

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chaotic-aro-incarnate · 4 months

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10 BL BOYS I WILL THROW HANDS FOR

Was tagged by @scarefox for this (technically my main blog but I post my bl stuff on here lol) and am very excited

I imprint on characters like nobody's business so this is a list made for me

EDIT changed the gifs because apparently the way I did it didn't properly link to the creators (only on desktop at least). should be properly credited now

In no particular order

1) Sound (My School President)

Starting the trend of lonely queer teenagers that I get a little too attached to, it's of course Sound. Like I was already a fan of Sound and intrigued by the concept of SoundWin (at the time people didn't know it was going to be the main secondary ship) but when the medal scene happened and Sound gave this so sad ans soft "oh no" look I was gone. That is my son and I WILL fight anyone and everyone for him

2) Nuengdiao (Never Let Me Go)

Another lonely queer teenager I decided to protect. I loved Never Let Me Go so much and Nueng was my special little babygirl and then Our Skyy 2 came out and it was like oh...... I will kill for him. Look I love Nueng and he did nothing wrong and also that scene where he's forcing Palm to put the gun to his head while screaming at him to shoot him leaves rent free in my mind. He's so traumatized and lonely and he's like 18 I would do anything for him especially throw hands

3) Typhoon (Star in My Mind)

Fun fact! I had to stop watching Star in My Mind because I got so unreasonably attached to Typhoon that I couldn't bear the thought of him not getting a happy ending. I wanted him to end up with Dao so bad because it would make him happy and I knew that if I kept watching they would either break his heart OR show that he's actually not that great of a guy, both which were unbearable to me. So I simply cut my losses and live in the fantasy that he got everything he ever wanted.

4) Bai Lang (My Tooth Your Love)

One of those "he just like me fr fr" characters who I would do anything for. He's my specialist little boy and I love him so dearly. Here's to having your trauma swag bewitch the local hot autistic dentist body and soul.

5) Han Ying (Word of Honor)

Talk about my specialest boy. Ying'er is my guy through and through. He deserved so much better and in every WoH fic I have written (they are all still in drafts) he lives and is happy no matter what. He IS my sweet cheese, my rotten solider, my good time boy. I will continue writing him getting railed to the high heavens by Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing like he deserves. He is incapable of being anything other but the goodest boy possible and I will die on this hill

6) Boston (Only Friends)

He is the worst. I would move mountains for him. Enough said.

7) Pluem (Ghost Host Ghost House)

Look this man has been going through it AND he manages to be the like the most flirtatious and romantic guy around? Give me your secrets sir. Also say the word king and I'll do it. This show broke me on so many levels but a lot of those levels were tied to anytime I saw him break down

8) Ye Huo/Fire (Guardian)

A recent (and somewhat obscure) pull as I am currently watching Guardian and was just exposed to his character today but he is my guy and I will defend him to the death. The only weaker point for me than a lonely gay teenager is a self appointed older sibling who sacrifices everything for their younger siblings. I was really like man this guy is an asshole for so long but then the truth of how he was saving the boys at the fighting ring came out and I was like oh no that's my son now and I need him to live and be happy. I have not finished his arc yet so I am scared that it'll be a tragedy BUT he is my wonderful son all the same and I will throw hands for him in an instant

9) That (Manner of Death)

The return of troubled teenagers I need to adopt and protect against all costs. I WILL fight anyone for him even though he's like a rebellious teenager who does crime and I am a strange looking college student who he would not respect but it's the thought that counts

10) Mark/Village Head Ma (Love Tractor)

Why is there a random white man living in rural South Korea? I don't know!!! They never address what he's doing there. But I literally love this man. There's a reason I made him to be my pfp for bl-bracket. Seriously he's the best and I will fight anyone who says otherwise. Best character ever written. In my heart he's got the spirit of Quincey Morris form Dracula in the long tradition of just having a random American man in your story with no explanation

Tagging others!!!!! @saturnskyline @non-binarypal7 @supernovasimplicity @vegussy and anyoen else who wants to!!

There's been so many of these types of challenges/tag things lately that I have not kept track of who has or hasn't done which ones so sorry if you've already done something similar

#fun fact when looking up gifs i kept running into polls for bl bracket #and getting annoyed for filling up the search results #and then remembering that's me lmao

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terraether · 1 year

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Watch and Rewatch List

Tagged by @munsonsbabygirlie !! ty fren :) I’ve had this in my drafts for so long that I have to update what I had LOL prepare for the infodump

Watching (airing)

My Hero Academia - this show fr genre swapped and increased to like mature rating this season and I’m living for it but am also scared

The Last Of Us - mutual s already know this is my latest obsession…it’s soooo good and also has traumatized me so much already oops imma keep watching tho. Bella Ramsey is PHENOMENAL

Watching (complete)

Trailer Park Boys - stupid funny show to turn off my brain but also has great found family tbh. I just finished the last season but there is an animated series and TONS of other content like half seasons and movies I’m working on

12 Monkeys - TIME TRAVEL MADNESS !! PRETTY PEOPLE!! EMILY HAMPSHIRE WHO PLAYS STEVIE BUDD IN SCHITT’S CREEK PLAYING THE BEST CHARACTER IVE SEEN IN A LONG TIME !!!

Rewatching

Everything’s Gonna Be Okay - I’ve rewatched this many times, it only has 2 seasons bc it was cancelled but it’s one of my favorite shows ever. It has 2 autistic leads, a gay man and the other is in a wlw relationship with a homo romantic asexual girl who is also autistic!! All autistic characters are played by autistic actors!! The lead of the show is the creator/writer and his character is semi autobiographical, and he found out he’s autistic from fans who watched the show!

Broad City - I recently finished a rewatch so I’m not currently rewatching it but let’s be real I will be again soon enough, this show is my life and accounts for half my personality

Upcoming shows/shows I plan to watch

Demon Slayer - s3 is coming NEXT MONTH and I’m SO FUCKING EXCITEDDDDD this anime is STELLAR

Arcane - I watched this a few months ago and IT’S SO GOOD. I can’t wait until they announce s2 release date!!!

Attack On Titan: The Final Season: Part 3 - pls put us out of our misery 🙃 the final season has been going on since 2021 i swear

Tagging: @readyforcombatt @starkdusk @swanthief and anyone who wants to talk about their shows :D

#tag games #this was fun :)#shows #tlou #12 monkeys #tpb #broad city #bnha #aot #snk #anime #demon slayer #kny #arcane #everything’s gonna be okay

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cartmankisser · 2 years

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in the same breath while i am Here and (kinda) finished complimenting you

i was wondering if i could request characters of ur choice (or if i Have to pick, main 4) are with an autistic s/o if you haven't already?? just some general things <33

THIS TOOK ME SO LONG I DONT KNOW WHY

i'm just gonna do main 4 because they're the most popular and i know them the best

also ive done cartman and kyle x reader with sensory issues here! i'm just linking them because they're kinda related to this??

giggles and writes the most self indulgent post ever

reblogs > likes

theres a lot of stuff that kyle doesn't get. he doesn't understand why sometimes he just can't hug you, or why the soft noises of the ceiling fan is enough to overwhelm you, or why you have to buy toys to fidget with for when you can't sit still, but he really tries to listen and learn!

he tries to be empathetic towards you when you're struggling, but he really sucks at it,,, i mean it's not that he doesn't care!! he really does!! he's just so overly logical about everything that when you do things that he just doesn't understand, he just can't find it relatable at all 😭

kenny, on the other hand, is really patient when it comes to listening to you! he's usually pretty chill and carefree, so when small things make you upset or even really happy, he wants to know all about it!! he'd let you rant on and on about your special interest or a hyperfixation!

like this dude is so supportive of you no matter what you're fixated on! he's down to watch the same show for hours or beat a video game in one sitting with you if that's what would make you happy!!!

cartman,,, does not have the same patience that kenny does,, you can just expect the the same amount of teasing as he gives everyone else?? he'd probably try to learn about autism just so he could give you personal insults!! (and totally not because he cares about you because that would be gay asf)

i mean besides him purposly annoying the shit out of you for it, he honestly doesn't care?? like it's too loud for you? okay let's leave it's so fucking boring here anyways... you don't want to talk to new people? that's totally fine because he'll talk for the both of you.. something is stressing you out? whatever dude it doesn't even matter??? let's go to the tacobell kfc merge shit i want an 8 piece bucket (he's so supportive!)

stan probably reacts like kyle?? i mean they're just pretty similar anyways, so it's no suprise that they react the same. BUT ANYWAYS unlike kyle, he wouldn't even bother on trying to make you make sense,,? kyle would try to correct you over things, but stan? stan is way more relaxed and chill about it!!

he's just there to support you in any way that he can!! except he's kinda dumb and you have to tell him how to help you... BUT HES TRYING HIS BEST!!! he doesn't really understand a lot about autism or anything, but he really tries to be a good boyfriend and help you when you need it!! he's always there to listen to you ramble, whether it's about school or just a really cool movie you saw!!

#IDK THIS SUCKS IM SORRY 😭😭😭#south park x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #kenny mccormick x reader #stan marsh x reader #eric cartman x reader

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ragingstillness · 10 months

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Finally got around to watching Wednesday. I am not done but nearing the end. Here are my unfiltered thoughts:

MAJOR SPOILERS

Xavier is a little bitch. I say this with no affection. He’s whiny and annoying and smug and I hate him. He’s also possessive over Wednesday for literally no reason and I have no idea what anyone sees in him

Tyler is kind of meh. Like I’ve had it spoiled for me that he turns evil or smtg but rn he just seems awkward and unhelpful

Both of the actors they cast for Xavier and Tyler look way too old for those roles. Not a burn on the actors, a burn on the casting department.

The female actors outshine every male actor like crazy in this show and I can’t decide if I’m proud or if I’m annoyed every time we have to suffer through the male actors

Idk who to thank, is it makeup or hair or casting, but Jenna Ortega looks exactly like Christina Ricci did in the movies from the 90s. Amazing.

I am loving the references both to the 60s show and the 90s movies. Wednesday’s ancestor being burned as a witch, Morticia’s maiden name, Wednesday’s dance, etc.

Catherine Zeta-Jones is a hit or miss for me. Her acting is excellent but I feel like she didn’t spend enough time training her voice. It sounds strained and unnatural, like someone who is making the choice to whisper, not someone with a naturally silky voice

Gweldoline Christie is excellent. All around great choice. I love the shots of her looking down on people and how they emphasize her height difference with everyone. Her makeup is always beat to the gods too

Ajax is the one dude I don’t really mind. He seems nice to Enid, generally unproblematic. It’s not cool he didn’t tell her why he stood her up but given his age it’s understandable he’d be too embarrassed initially

Eugene is nice if a little bit stalkery near the beginning towards Enid.

Wish we’d get a few more overt Poe references, I love him

Goody is a girlboss and I love her

Crackstone is genuinely terrifying but he should have known that witch burnings never work out well for the people who set them ablaze

I need more about Bianca’s backstory and her mom’s MLM empire

Generally the show does ok but I do feel it sometimes tipping into the trap shadow and bone did of trying to appease bigots

Why is nevermore located where it is? You’d think they’d be hidden away or at least not kitty corner to a town of ppl who hate them

Enid’s painted claws give me life

It looks like Jenna is truly playing the cello sometimes, if so that’s very impressive

Wednesday and to an extent all the addams’ are the most autistic. I feel like the modern show tried to make Wednesday the odd one out with parents who were a bit more socially aware and frankly I prefer the rampant autism of the other portrayals of Mortician and Gomez

Idk how I feel about the oddness of the addams’ world being genuinely magical. It was always sort of on the outskirts but the 60s show was meant to be a push back against the idea of the nuclear family in polite society

Love what they’ve done with Christina Ricci. Got literal chills seeing her snap twice

The therapist is also quite good. I feel like I know her from somewhere but I can’t put my finger on it. Also, I know it isn’t her, but she gives me major Toni Collette vibes

I wish we knew more about what types of magical abilities exist in this world because otherwise the reveals feel like deus ex machinas

On vibes alone: Enid gives me bi and Wednesday gives me gay. Enid gives me allosexual and Wednesday gives me gray asexual

#wednesday #wednesday addams #the addams family

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cherry-stained-corpse · 1 year

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Wednesday Spoilers possibly

(You’ve been warned…unless I don’t actually mention a spoiler in which case 🤷🏻…it is more a precaution than anything)

Also this is strictly my own opinion. Obviously. If you think differently you are free to do so. Just don’t be a jerk about it.

• So I am 7 episodes in, I have yet to watch the last one. But so far, I personally really like it. I love this iteration of Wednesday. I think it makes perfect sense for her to be this way with these particular traits especially as a teenager. That’s something I think some people may be forgetting. She’s a teenager here, and as teenagers go, they don’t necessarily stay the same as their past child selves. Even then, personality wise she’s not that different to how she was portrayed in the 90s films by Christina Ricci (in fact they are literally in the same show now which is pretty awesome). Clearly they are taking a more personal angle where we actually explore how some traits can be put one at odds with others. Like being emotionally despondent, being incapable of expressing emotions and thus those around you portraying that in ability as you not caring for them. Being simply unable to show that caring emotion and telling yourself it’s on purpose. I found myself really relating to Wednesday a lot in that regard. I’m autistic, so I have a very hard time expressing emotions in ways that are considered the conventional way. Due to my own struggle with emoting and such I was often labeled as a stuck up person that thinks they’re better than everyone, or someone who doesn’t care, simply because I don’t emote the way everyone else does or know how to express certain things the way people expect them to be expressed. I’m not a hugger, I don’t feel comfortable with too much contact if any, and I don’t fair well in emotional talks with people because sometimes I genuinely do not know how I’m supposed to react or what I should say. That could be why growing up I was so attached to her character (The films and 60s sitcom are favorites I’ve watched my whole life so I suppose I can be considered a huge fan). Aside from of course the fact that as a goth I’ve always had morbid spooky interests even as a kid. Perhaps for some it might be frustrating to watch a protagonist like this, and how she stubbornly refuses to change even when some flaws are very highlighted. But i personally have interpreted as she doesn’t know how to change, even when she feels guilt, she feels bad but even acknowledging that you do might feel extremely difficult. Maybe because of pride, maybe because that’s just all you know how to exude. I personally really relate to her. I’m not sure if I explained it well enough. But I also think it just makes sense, these aren’t traits that are all that new to her. They are simply more deeply explored but these traits where already there.Over all I think her characterization, the actress they chose, her development, everything is perfect.

Aesthetically, I think they really hit the mark. I have watched several different shows and some that depict a goth character or attempting to depict gothy or spooky aesthetics, and so far this one has done a better job than a lot. Every single one of Wednesday’s outfits have been perfect, I feel they really capture her character very well while also showing a more varied wardrobe. I’m very into character designing and fashion and costuming so I was very happy with the choices they made. Also could be a bit biased since most of her outfits are things reflective of my own wardrobe lol. Oh also ALSO…this show fits every criteria to be labeled as Dark Academia and no one can tell me otherwise. All it’s missing is a gay romance but…I suppose we can’t win them all. (I’m begging more shows/movies/whatever please enough with the heteronormativity. Give us gay guys some representation in these genres…)

Another thing I wanted to touch on really quick. I hadn’t spoken on this before but I recall this being an issue since even before when they first announced the cast and showed what they would look like for the first time. A lot of people did not like how “ugly” Gomez was. And many claimed it was because they preferred “the original”. So to that I ask this, Are you really arguing for the integrity of the original, or are you just racist. Or perhaps a third option that seems to be a common one (of course giving the benefit of doubt that it’s not including any sprinkled in racism), Do you simply have a deep attachment for the 90s iteration regardless of wether it is accurate or not visually?

Because if we are going to discuss accuracy and what the character should look like, this Gomez Addams is perfect. He represents a far more accurate depiction of Gomez Addams than any before him. Not only that but he’s Latino as is the rest of the family coded to be for the first time. That’s another thing. Latino representation especially in goth aesthetics. Of course I’m aware the 90s actor for Gomez was also Latino, a fello Puerto Rican, and he was great! Always will be iconic! But what I’m saying is It’s perfectly appropriate for the family to be Latino, Wednesday to be Latina, because she is. Morticia is also casted perfectly. I’ve seen some grief about her not having her “Iconic red lip” when as far as I remember that was only iconic for the 90s Morticia. Not so much from the 60s sitcom or the actual originals, the 30s-40s cartoon comic iteration. Granted you could of course argue that it’s implied for her to have red lips since the comic and sitcom are black and white, but then the same can be said in regards to any dark shade. Personally I would have gone full black but to each their own. I think these new actors did a phenomenal job at portraying the characters well.

There’s nothing wrong with preferring the 90s film version of them, or specifically Gomez. That’s fine. Those movies are iconic for a reason. I adore those films. But theres something to be said when a Latino playing the character and portraying the original appearance gets flack for being “too ugly” when he was never actually meant to be attractive or sexy. Again, nothing wrong with portraying him as such. As an artist I like creating my own concept and versions of characters that can often be drastically different to the original. But perhaps some reflection is needed when that becomes your biggest gripe whilst ignoring the original. Even then I’m not against liberties being taken, plenty have been taken in this new version that honestly I quite like. I love how they really expanded upon Wednesday’s character. I love that she’s a writer, I love that she plays the cello. I love that we get to see a more in depth look at her character. Perhaps that could be because I myself love and partake in those things in my personal life. But I don’t know. That’s just me.

Anyways I’ll probably make more posts doing a fuller review in specifics and stuff that happened. I have…words to say about the Hyde and it’s overall…look. And other such critiques. But I’ll save those for after I’ve finished the final episode :) these have just been my personal thoughts upon first impressions. Kind of word vomit-y. Who cares it’s my blog.

#wednesday #wednesday 2022 #wednesday addams #wednesday netflix #netflix wednesday

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that-was-anticlimactic · 2 years

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i started sk8! i'm two eps in and it's very nice so far. definitely more relaxed than what i usually prefer but it's still fun :] ngl that blue-haired dude is creepy as hell. i haven't watched far enough to find out for sure but it seems like he's manipulating miya which is. >:(( giving off nasty rich person vibes. reki is so <333 to me he's just!! a little guy!!! ngl a bit worried abt the fact that langa seems to be very good at skateboarding like absolutely good for him and all but if i was reki i think i'd be kinda jealous? it would be interesting if they addressed this later on in the show. loving joe's and cherry's dynamic so muchh! they're so funny to me. immense respect to joe for deciding to skateboard with his tits out. the only question i have is where are his nipples???? like sir??? i know its anime censourship or whatever but still. also if i may share my personal hcs for some of them: i hc reki as a trans bi guy. idk why but that just. feels right for him yk. i also love the idea of him having adhd and tourettes! you were so so right about that <333 one thing about langa is that he is definitely not straight. gay i think and aspec as well. also he is autistic bc i mean. have you seen him. he and reki are literally hyperfixating on skating together!! like that montage describes bonding about a shared hyperfixation so so accurately. joe def gives of bi vibes 100% but i'm not too sure about cherry. and also you were right i do love miya! i've seen him for 5 minutes tops and he has been mean for all of them but he is so <3333 to me!! OOPS I WROTE A LOT. AHEM ENJOYING SK8 A NORMAL AMOUNT.

YES YES YES ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

okay y eah blue haired dude is ad*m and i hate him i hate him i hate him he 100% is manipulating / grooming miya and i will STAB this man

oooooooooooh just you wait. just. you. w ait.

YES REKI BELOVED he is my blorbo my everything he is The character i am reki he is me he is he Is The Little Guy i would die for him i love reki btw if you didn't know

UYTFDGHUIJOUYGFU CRYING AT THE JOE NIPPLE COMMENT HELP-- I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE CACKLING

YES EXACTLY !!! @capt-snoozles actually drew some trans reki art and it is. it is SO GOOD. and yES TS REKI MY B E L O V E D!!! theo has also drawn AMAZING ts reki art that i just. i love so much. i literally showed everyone in my class once i cried i love him (reki and theo lol)

YES GAY ASPEC AUTISTIC LANGA !!! he is SO autistic coded there is literally a scene where reki and shadow (MY BELOVED I LOVE SHADOW SM) are talking and langa is literally just. sitting there and swaying back and forth with his eyes closed. i love him.

#olly tag #I AM SO GLAD YOU'RE ENJOYING IT #I LOVE THIS SHOW SO FREAKING MUCH #ALSO IK SHADOW SEEMS LIKE THE WORST AT FIRST BUT TBH IT'S ALL AN ACT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T REALLY KNOW WHO HE IS ANYWAYS--#the matchablossom content just gets even Better don't worry uyftfcgvhijugytfcvgbhjiuhygf #corey rambles:)

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bylightofdawn · 1 year

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Dungeons & Dragons was hilarious and excellent, turn your brain off and just enjoy the show movie. I went in with semi-low expectations so maybe that's why it exceeded them so much. Lots of fun easter eggs and nods to fans of the tabletop system. I'll discuss some stuff below the cut but I am just gonna put myself on blast here but holy hades....Michelle Rodriguez's barbarian character? I know she was going to be hot because it's Michelle Rodriguez so it's just a given.

But she beefed up for this role and not to call myself out for my subby tendencies but I need a hot barbarian girlfriend who will pin my ass to the wall make me her bottom b*tch and or potentially crush my head between her mountainous thighs. Fuck me running. Hi yes, I am very, very gay for Holga.

Like, she was distracting and making me feel all sorts of ways.

Also, now to be the utterly ridiculous bi that I am, Regé-Jean Page was ALSO unbearably hot in this movie, especially when he was being super competent and just mopping the floor with fools. I never thought a paladin could be that hot. I don't know which god he's sworn to but they obviously imbued him with that smoldering hot holy warrior spiciness. When he cast smite on his sword I was done. Sir, you are already unfairly attractive, how dare you level up in sexiness somehow?

I also kinda high key love he was kinda coded maybe overly serious maybe could be read as autistic? Like I totally read him as autistic which is awesome if that's what they were going for.

Honestly? Everyone in this movie is pretty. Of course they all are.

After the movie, I ended up going to ulta, sorta mentally checked out and bought way too much stuff. So much so I'm like....I need to return some of this. So I guess I'm going back on Sunday. Some of it I thought was on sale but I guess I misread the ads.

And I stopped by the local Vietnamese place and got some pho which was....very good and I have a bahn mi sitting next to me that I should really eat but I'm kinda full from the pho because I always underestimate the portions you get at pho places. It's quite literally pho for days.

EDIT: Somehow I managed to eat that bahn mi but I legit might need to pass out now. I've had a piss poor appetite the past few days thanks to being stressed out and just in bad head space. So I've had like one meal a day the past two days and today I didn't eat at all. Because I was mainly busy. But by the time I got done with eating to say I was famished is an understatement. I think I just made up for the past three days of not eating.

I really need to edit Seeds but I think I might just pass out and go into a food coma instead.

SO MY MAJOR COMPLAINT. We went to the Underdark and didn't SEE A SINGLE DROW??? So my major knowledge of D&D comes from Forgotten Realms. I know the system, have watched some Crit Role. But I just I loved those books and Drizzt to DEATH growing up. And then they introduced Artemis Entreri and Jarlaxle and I was sunk.

I STILL buy a Forgotten Realms book if I know those two are going to be in it. They're like my trashy comfort characters. You will see a predictable pattern in my trashy comfort characters.

I knew I wasn't going to get Drizzt or Jarlaxle because they are FR characters but the moment they mentioned the Underdark I was still screaming in my seat mentally because I thought they'd bring the Drow in somehow.

And they didn't. And I was very, very sad.

Also? If I ever get a black cat somehow, I am naming her Guenhwyvar, that's how much of a FR nerd I am. And literally no one but .5 % of the population will get that reference. Also it's hard enough to get my vet to spell Genji's name right, can you imagine trying to get them to spell Guenhwyvar? FORGET ABOUT IT.

But, eh it's a minor bitch in the grand scheme of things. I was still so stoked to see/hear things like Icewnd Dale and the Spine on the map and Neverwinter and Waterdeep etc.

Also THEY HAD A CAMEO OF THE OLD D&D CARTOON CHARACTERS. SCREAM. I used to that that with my mom as a kid, that was one of those few stark childhood memories I have of watching D&D and Voltron with her.

There was a Mimic which made me squee and a gelatinous cube. Not super deep easter egg shit but enough to make me feel in on the jokes, you know? And freaking displacer beasts.

And some Dragonborn and Aarakocra! Ugh my nerdy heart is full of joy.

Suffice it to say, I loved it. I might go see it again though I also want to go see the Super Mario Movie and maybe John Wick 4. There are way too movies out I want to see.

#dungeons and dragons: honor among thieves #minor spoiler discussions of the movie but mainly just my screaming and squealing over random d&d stuff #hi yes I am a filthy bi and this movie made my ace ass feel stuff

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lacefuneral · 2 years

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not helpful for people who do not have a library nearby but if you do, please consider getting a library card. i got one impulsively after seeing a tumblr post like this one (lol). library cards are free, and once you have one, you gain access not only to physical books, but movies, TV shows, video games, and of course, digital books.

mine, personally, is connected to every other library in the county, so there is a HUGE online catalog. just massive. you can go to any of these libraries in person, or you can request a book from one library and have it delivered to your local one to go pick it up. and it’s free! all of it is free!

having a library card and checking out items helps your local library and the surrounding community. and if you have items you’re willing/able to donate, you can make those materials accessible for the other people in your region.

now i know some people will be like “but jay, I don’t read books, and I can just pirate stuff, or play the games I already have access to. why library?”

but here’s the thing. I had not read for fun since I was a child. i hated reading books. i’d space out constantly. it physically hurt to hold a book in my hands (neck and wrist pain). and a kindle wasn’t any better.

so what i did was, first of all, was pick a subject that interested me. i’m a gay trans man, and I’ve always felt alienated by being surrounded by cishet-heavy media, and I also wanted to learn more about my community’s past. so I was going to be looking at fiction and non-fiction books in the LGBT category.

then i picked the genre. reading poetry, which is small, digestible bites of text, and graphic novels, which are image-heavy, would help ease me back into reading. a warm-up for longer pieces.

then format. I wanted to have a physical book in my hands. having a physical book taking up space would remind me that I had to read it and return it.

but physical books were hard! so I bought two adaptive devices that, when used together, greatly reduced the amount of pain i was in while reading. i’ve spoken about them before

i also got myself a set of magnetic bookmarks. i find that these are the most useful, as they remain fixed to the page and aren’t clunky. and also, when not in use, you can stick them to a fridge or another metal surface

once I had all of that figured out, I looked for specific books, read reviews, and organized the content into lists. one for poems, one for graphic novels, one for non-fiction, one for fiction.

i started out with two poetry books and the first volume (out of four) of a manga. I found that I took to reading pretty quickly, and I enjoyed the experience even when I wasn’t fond of the content. one poetry book left me making a lot of commentary, out loud, as one would when watching a bad movie. and weirdly enough? i had fun doing this. the other poetry book, though, made me burst into tears, in a good way.

once i knew I could handle reading, I just... dove right in. I’m 20% of the way through a 550 page fiction novel right now. if you told me a couple of months ago I’d be doing that, I’d look at you like you had five heads. i have a spotify playlist with instrumental music i listen to help set the scene, just as one would when playing DND, and this helps me block out the outside world and keep focus, so that helps substantially.

this book is not a library book, however, so I am taking a break from it to read the two library books i have at the moment: a history book and a manga volume. when i am finished reading the novel, i plan to donate it to the library. i also plan to do the same thing with other gaps in my library’s catalog. buy the book, read it, donate it.

anyway, give the library a try, if you can. especially if you’re marginalized in any way. hell, i have found 4 separate books JUST on the intersection of being trans and autistic. you may not find everything you are looking for, but you may find something that makes you feel less alone in the world, something that resonates with you

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